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A girl who got paid to help guys meet women shares her insights into what motivates men to make a move.
BY CHRISTIE GRIFFIN
"Is it just me or is that chick checking us out?"
Do you ever go out sometimes and feel like guys aren’t giving you the attention you deserve, and you can’t figure out why? That used to happen to me too. Then I became a part-time "wingwoman" — a girl who helps guys meet chicks in bars by posing as the guys’ platonic female friend. (Wingwoman services are available in many cities, including New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Dallas, Miami, and Saint Louis.) While earning my wings, I learned lots of little tricks every single girl can use to improve her success with guys. Warning: Once you perfect these moves, you might find that you’re such a powerful man-magnet, you attract guys everywhere. I used to date a guy who asked me out at the ATM! Wingtip #1: Go out in groups of no bigger than three. Larger groups of girls are supertough (read: intimidating) to approach. Three is a good number because your two friends can keep each other company when a guy walks up to chat with you. Wingtip #2: Hold a drink in your hand. Guys don’t want to be used. Meaning: They don’t want to buy you a drink right off the bat. My clients and I used to look for the girl with half a cocktail. That way, if she finishes her beverage while chatting with my guy, he could offer to buy her another to keep things moving. Wingtip #3: Smile genuinely. So obvious, right? But I can’t stress it enough — and I can’t believe I ever acted aloof in an attempt to seem sexier. Now I know that women smile all the time naturally (when we’re nervous, when we’re trying to be polite, etc.), so if you don’t do it at all, you look like an unapproachable bitch. Wingtip #4: Work the eye contact.
To reel him in from across the room, tilt your chin down a bit and flash him a couple of sultry glances. (Guys love it when you look up at them — it makes them feel manly.) If the guy across the room is so gorgeous you have a hard time looking straight at him and are simply too nervous, fake it by focusing on the tiny area right between his eyes. He won't be able to tell the difference. Wingtip #5: Don’t immediately ask him what he does. Some men think all women are gold diggers. A lot of my clients hated being asked what their job is. It’s that fear-of-being-used thing again. Wingtip #6 Make positive small talk. Once I started studying other women, I couldn’t believe how negative some of us appear. When you’re out on the town, you’re supposed to be having fun, and any complaint (“It’s hot in here!”), pessimism (“There will definitely be another terrorist attack”), or snarky quip (“Look at that chick’s belt — so 2002!”) pretty much pokes a hole in the fun-girl aura you should be projecting. Some better small-talk topics: recent vacations, favorite bands, hilarious movies. You can hit him with your deep, dark world-view some other time.
How to Work Less and Get Wayyy More Done
You know those (extremely) rare workdays that just seem to fly by? A new book says it's possible to recreate that feeling, all day, every day. Here’s how...
BY JESSICA KNOLL
Imagine that your boss offers you $100 to complete a challenging new project as quickly as possible. He then asks your co-worker to complete the same project, but without any kind of cash reward or time constraint. Who is more likely to finish first? According to the theory in Daniel H. Pink’s fascinating new book, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates You, your co-worker is. What the what? We’d think that extra wad of cash would be a serious motivator. But it turns out that intrinsic motivation — the drive to do something because it is interesting, challenging, and absorbing — is far more effective in producing results than extrinsic motivation — the “if you do this, then I’ll give you that” model that most businesses use with their employees. This is because when a reward is offered, as it is in the scenario above, you become more focused on those shiny new pumps that $100 would afford you, rather than on the best way to complete the task. Drive says that the secret to being more productive and feeling more fulfilled is to enjoy what you’re doing, and to feel rewarded by the work itself. We know — easier said than done. But Drive takes into consideration that even if you’re not 100 percent in love with your job, you can still be more successful and feel happier just by figuring out which tasks truly engage you — aka those rare moments of, “Ohmigod, I missed lunch I was so caught up in my work.” Drive refers to these moments as “flow,” and offers up nine strategies to produce flow more often, and for longer periods of time. Here’s one of them: Give Yourself a “Flow” Test Here's how: Set a reminder on your computer or cell to go off forty random times in a week. Each time it beeps, write down what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, and whether you’re in “flow.” Record your observations, look at the patterns, and consider the following questions: * Which moments produced feelings of “flow?” Where were you? Who were you with? * Are certain times of day more flow-friendly than others? How could you restructure your day based on your findings? * How might you increase the number of optimal experiences and reduce moments when you felt disengaged or distracted?
The New Marriage Rule: Age Matters
Studies reveal that you should reach a specific age before you get married.
He may be Mr. Right, but are you ready?
We doubt you were shocked when Avril Lavigne recently announced she was splitting from her husband of three years. But while it’s tempting to assume the cause was her bratty persona or rocker lifestyle, comments from her friends suggested that something more universal was at play: She was only 21 when she tied the knot and later told pals that she realized she’d been too young to
make such a life-altering decision. Could fellow young celebrity divorcées Reese Witherspoon, Kate Hudson, and Britney Spears have also hit the same age-related issue? We doubt you were shocked when Avril Lavigne recently announced she was splitting from her husband of three years. But while it’s tempting to assume the cause was her bratty persona or rocker lifestyle, comments from her friends suggested that something more universal was at play: She was only 21 when she tied the knot and later told pals that she realized she’d been too young to make such a life-altering decision. Could fellow young celebrity divorcées Reese Witherspoon, Kate Hudson, and Britney Spears have also hit the same age-related issue? The Magic Number There are practical reasons for the mid-20s dividing line, and most of them boil down to two biggies: education and money. Turns out, the more years of higher education a woman has under her belt on her wedding day, the lower the chances that she’ll get divorced…and by 25, you’re more likely to have earned a degree or two. “Educated women tend to be more confident about who they are and less willing to settle for a man who doesn’t meet their standards,” explains Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great. Odds are that by 25 you’re also supporting yourself, so there’s less incentive for you to rush into marriage because you’re seeking financial security from him. But the marriage-related benefits of working and having money of your own go beyond feeling secure, says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Finding Your Perfect Match. Learning to budget your cash carefully when you’re single will help you avoid financial problems—one of the main causes of couple fights—for the rest of your life. And juggling responsibilities, dealing with differing personalities, and resolving conflicts on the job force you to develop skills that are necessary for maintaining long-term love. Knowing the Real You At 25, you’ve had time for some crucial life experiences, including a relationship or two that may have improved your Mr. Right radar. “You’ve probably dated enough to have a better idea of what you don’t want in a man, which makes it easier to know what you can live with and can’t live without,” says Orbuch. Perhaps the most important aspect of waiting is that you’ll know what your goals and values really are, says Paul Coleman, PsyD, author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Intimacy. While you don’t want to marry someone just like you, marriage is a lot easier if you two share a similar outlook on life. Twenty-four and already married to the man of your dreams? Don’t worry: Many young marriages survive. But given the choice, you might consider putting off the big day until your mid-20s or later.
Beauty on your fingertips
This helps skincare experts employed by the website to narrow down your skin issues. At mySkin. 2010 . Daily Makeover www.com. beauty trends. just type in the keywords on YouTube and watch the magic unfold. once you sign up.youtube. 20 gifts that totally suck . millions of people upload and share videos of every possible thing on earth.com Want a makeover but not sure how to go about it? Fret not! Just try out a virtual makeover first. Step-by-step instructions complete with advice on how to try it at home makes YouTube your best friend on the internet. the site does a skin mapping and profiling for you. How cool is that? Makeup for iPhone www. and your skin problems. You can also chat and connect with other skin-worried people just like you on their community page. mySkin www.06:49 PM From free makeover demos to online beauty consultations to even make up tips and tricks on your phone. And the best part is that you don’t need to register nor do you need to pay anything out of your pocket.By beauty. the smoky eyes make your eyes look wicked or that retro fringe compliments your face or not. All at a fee of course.apple. Step two involves talking about the products you use and whether they work on your skin or not. upload your latest photograph and figure out whether the deep shade of purple lipstick suits you.dailymakeover. On YouTube.com If you are the type who just loves freebies and cant be bothered to surf through endless beauty websites for advice. Amrita Bose presents a round up. just watch a video of it. Questions are asked regarding your skin type.teamfemina. The app uses a cool facial recognition technology and gives out make-up advice and beauty routines. the internet is abuzz with a bevy of beauty applications (apps) just for you. Once done. suggest products. the kind of lifestyle you lead. So don’t miss out on checking your virtual avatar first before you put on that pancake for the next party.myskin. Jan 19. skin-care routines and lifestyle changes.The app can be downloaded from the Apple App Store. and tips. the latest hairstyles celebs are spotting these days. a detailed analysis is done of your skin. At the Daily Makeover all you need to do is hop over to the Makeover Studio section. YouTube www.com Your phone can whisper beauty and make up secrets to you now thanks to the new Makeup application on the Apple iPhone. If you want to know how to create marcel waves (a vintage hairstyle) or how to apply black nail polish neatly or hide your last night’s vestiges skilfully with make up. Just upload your mug onto the phone and let your iPhone give your face a virtual makeover according to your face structure. a video sharing website. to how-to demos.com Now you can get advice on skin troubles at just a click of a mouse. The website also shows you a gallery of virtual makeovers people have had. right from movies to music.
Mostly bought out of well-meaning intentions. a bottle of wine to a teetotaler or a kitten to someone who is not fond of pets . 11. 10. Handmade stuff like that pink and black muffler (your first ever knitting project) is sweet but then… 7. Gifting ivory. team it up with a book on “50 Cool Uses for Half-Dead Blossoms”. Unless you want your run-of-the-mill photo-frame from a local gift shop circulated back to you a few parties later. 14. If at all you do. 4. We don’t need you to buy us random stuff like a box of Pringles or a bottle of Worcestershire sauce . A box of icky. . Buying us a ‘useful’ item is a noble idea but vacuum cleaners and toasters kinda cross the line unless they are specifically asked for. self help books only suggest that we could use some help.By buzz.03:16 PM Racking your brains over cool gift ideas for the holiday season? We make it easier for you by telling you what NOT to gift. Fake jewellery and tacky trinkets are very likely to end up adorning our domestic help. 18. please don’t walk into the party with a lame bunch of flowers.gift that to a friend and earn an enemy for life! The same goes for weighing machines or other similarly suggestive objects. We could probably write a book on “why not to gift a vase”. 5. 1. sticky. There are better ways to flaunt your spending power than by gifting something ugly. grease laden sweets .the worst gifting faux pas. We might put up with your unhealthy obsession for a movie star or sportsperson but don’t test our goodness with posters. Dec 18. memorabilia and autographed scrapbooks. 17. 6. they spell “you’re not good enough yet”. We would rather dig ourselves a grave than commit a sartorial sin in those hideous clothes! 15. fur or any other remains of a dead animal is totally. useless and ridiculously expensive like an indoor fountain. Presenting cookies to a diabetic. In short.we like to do our own grocery shopping. 9. A book on how to lose weight . Spare us the hassle of trying to figure out what to do/ where to place/ whom to regift that useless crystal piece. Whatever you do. 2. 2009 . 16. 3. don’t bother spending the bucks. 8.give this one a skippety skip. Gifting religious paraphernalia like idols and pictures of your favourite deity and spiritual books will only make you look like a wannabe fanatic. 13. 12. awfully and extremely loathsome. And no. it's not just the thought that counts.teamfemina. Classy perfumes are cool but deodorants are a strict no-no when it comes to gifts unless you want to get a clear message across.
Take the Prime Position: When you arrive.19. 3. you can get the same effect by leaning on a nearby bar or countertop with one arm. 8. Instead.combined. Each time you move to a different setting. bad gifts are like bad karma . making you seem instantly more dynamic. 4. move one elbow onto the back of your chair. which makes them suddenly get the urge to refill their drink. don a close-lipped smirk. passé and some more passé. 20. Show Your Shoulders: The more skin you show in the winter. Doing so will show off your wrists (a move men find particularly attractive because it hints at openness and vulnerability) and leave your midsection — a power zone that communicates confidence — unobstructed. Get Moving: As the party gets packed.. Wear a strapless dress that maximizes the amount of shoulder you show off. As other people walk in. Hands Off Your Hair: Messing with your tresses sends a message to both men and women that you’re insecure or nervous. Hw to b the party’s life 1. fuchsia or turquoise and you’ll turn more heads than all the women in LBDs. Did you ever gift someone plastic jars and containers? You did? Gasp!Remember. So beware! . casually place a hand on his or her arm. 6.. Let Your Cocktail Do the Talking: Hold your glass in one hand and off to the side as opposed to directly in front of you with two hands. Try This Alluring Posture: Rather than sitting with your hands at your side. change your locale every ten or fifteen minutes. Make sure it’s a solid color (patterns cause you to blend in) such as red. Don’t Be Afraid to Touch: When you’re chatting with someone. grab one or two of your friends and head straight for the middle of the room. which comes off as insincere. Then wait until after you say hi to someone to flash them a big smile. A tie and cuff set is passé. You want them to think that they’re the reason you’re suddenly so happy. 7. Perfect Your Smile: The biggest mistake people make in social situations is putting on the perma-smile.they always come back. If you’re standing. This subtle move amps up your sexiness factor and exudes confidence. the more you will stand out in a crowd. 5. It can be as simple as walking from the bar over to the window or the couch. you’ll be seen from a new angle. Touch triggers good feelings and signals special treatment — so not only will the person you’re talking to like you more. other people will wish they were the object of your rapt attention. . 2. you’ll appear to be the center of attention and they’ll naturally gravitate towards you. like you have a secret you’re just dying to tell.
Dress appropriately. transferring the bill. 2009 at 3:25PM By Zoë Ruderman | Comments Not that we approve of the couple who crashed the state dinner at the White House a few weeks ago.6 Secrets to Getting into Any Party or Club December 17. If it started at 8 p..m. and stick to a number that isn't so memorable. And the bouncer or event planner will be much more lax about checking names.or a government hearing. Find out who will be there. Here goes: 1. As a last resort. who is throwing it. But just remember: if a doorman. 6. wait until your turn then step up with a $20 folded against your palm. don't even think about getting there till 10. and say. The more information you have. the easier it will be to fib your way in (i. Jes Gordon to give us a crash course in party-partying. 2. And it's always better to blend in rather than stand out. Thanks so much for having us. you're not going to get in wearing jeans. show up with a gift like a bottle of wine. "Hi. Grease the doorman. Before you attempt to infiltrate a fiesta. No party is worth causing an embarrassing scene. you can always tell the bouncer — or host if it's a raging party and you'll go unnoticed once inside — that you are having a bathroom emergency. Google it. 4. If the get-together is at someone's house. (Never ask first if you can give him money. Imagine never being turned away by an a-hole bouncer or missing a party your friend's friend's friend is throwing again. Do your research. Wait until the party is really going before you try to crash. Bouncers will almost always say no. and the dress code.. but you've gotta admit that having the balls and the know-how to get into an event you're not invited to is pretty awesome. So save the peacockfeather cocktail dress and neon pumps for another night. Tell a little white lie.) 5. I'm a friend of [insert common name]. Don't elaborate since you'll just sound insincere. If it's a fancy gathering." The hostess will most likely invite you in rather than risking an awkward social faux pas. So we got celeb event planner and author of Party Like a Rock Star.e. . If you're trying to get into a club and the bouncer is turning away almost everyone ahead of you in line. Shake his hand. everyone who wasn't on the list will already have tried and been turned away.. or Secret Service agent starts giving you the evil eye or flat out asks you to leave. admit defeat. By that time. 3. Use the info you gather from your research to pick out the right outfit. name drop). host.
tuned-in listening is what engenders empathy and creates connectedness. She was discouraged from stepping up to become president. Mackenzie adopts this approach with every crisis she handles. She Wears the Pants (and the Bra) . That’s why she didn’t fire any of the cabinet members when she came onboard — their experience and commitment to the job mattered more to her than being liked. but she’s not invested in their opinions of her. president of The White House Project and author of Closing the Leadership Gap. Geena Davis’s female president has work and life tactics that you can use to get ahead. and it got us thinking about why we should have a lot more power. Mackenzie isn’t so worried about being heard. “Seeking approval is a typical female behavior. president Mackenzie Allen has mastered a fresh set of strategies (in some cases working her feminine instincts. she felt she had the competence to lead the country. Popularity Isn’t a Top Priority It’s tough not being liked by your workmates. “Strong leaders combine collaboration with aggressive decision making. but strong leaders rise above that.S. coauthor of Leadership Skills for Women. Mackenzie connects with some of her colleagues.How to Totally Rule Your World On Commander in Chief. in others overriding them) that can give you the edge in your quest to excel on the job or anywhere.” says Wilson. She’s the Last to Speak We’ve all had bosses who do all the talking (yawn). “Intent.PhD. A woman kicking ass in the Oval Office is the fictional premise of ABC’s hit drama Commander in Chief. U.” says Marie C. “Intuition has often been discounted as a woman’s trait. But in an interesting twist. but it’s now gaining ground as a valuable way to make decisions. but in the end. Wilson. Her Gut Gets the Final Vote After considering everyone’s opinion. allowing others to contribute their thoughts before she bears down on the situation. Mackenzie lets her internal compass guide her.” says Wilson.” says Marilyn Manning.
“A good manager delivers direction without giving in to the panic — at least outwardly. Case in point: When the Russian president threatens to bail on a state dinner. But the genius in Mackenzie’s leadership style is that she blends classic feminine traits with masculine traits. and Famous Ivanka Trump uses her guts.Of course. “Female managers are able to combine traditionally masculine attributes — such as being decisive under pressure — with feminine strengths. she’s a graduate of the prestigious Wharton School of business and the . Ready for the ultimate apprenticeship? BY HOLLY EAGLESON You know her famous family. then you know this: When you freak.” says Manning. brains. At 26. Mackenzie keeps her cool. you don’t need to fill out a jock strap to be a serious contender for management these days. And now she's showing you ways to do the same. How to Be Rich. like strong communication. Sexy. knowing that the only way to triumph is to make sure no one sees her sweat.” says Wilson. and magnetic charm — not her last name — to get what she wants. but you might not know how hard Ivanka Trump has worked to carve out her own success. Her Face Doesn’t Give Her Away If you’ve ever had a meltdown at work. you lose your clout.
Have a Secret Weapon for Negotiating Competitors bank on an easy win with Ivanka because she’s young. you’ll lose.” You actually get more power by deferring to higher-ups in public or backing up a colleague’s ideas. always take the temperature of whom you’re dealing with. instead. “You have to rough some people around tactically so they respect you or get intimidated.. “Always allow the other person to throw out the first offer. Emitting sex appeal on the job makes you alluring — just be smart about it.” By sizing up a situation with small talk — ask about their last vacation or how their family is doing — you sense whether they’re in buddy mode or need kid gloves.” she warns.. Instead. It pays to play up your differences. Put them to use and you can build your own luxe existence. because you often over calculate things and want to spill information you’ve gathered to prove yourself. “I’ll make light of the fact that they’re an aggressive human being.” she says. Don’t Be Afraid to Make an Ass of Yourself “Some people in my industry are shocked by the brazenness of my requests. there’s no such thing as feminine self-expression.” advises Ivanka. like keeping the peace and managing people.” she says.” she says. she’s more likely to get the better of you. 6.” Ivanka says. “Don’t ever show your hand until you really have to.” she says.” Ivanka says. 7. defuse her by using humor and your power not to get ruffled..” she says. She also just launched the Ivanka Trump fine jewelry collection. “I’m strong yet I’ll exude feminine traits.. then move on. 1. Needless to say.and she pulls it off with a brilliant set of life and work rules that allow her to be strong and knockout sexy at the same time.vice president of acquisitions and development of the Trump Organization. keep your voice at a captivating low tone. Let Yourself Be Underestimated “There are people who assume I’m daddy’s little girl or just a 26-year-old blond. Learn to Read a Room In addition to being respectful.” If you fight the bitch head on. “People like aggressive styles or gentle styles or want to feel they’re your best friend. but they’re more shocked when the answer I get from the decision maker is okay. Work Your Sexiness 24/7 “When it comes to the workplace. Don’t get her wrong: “I can’t be a sycophant. Not Demanding “There’s something unappealing about someone our age being too authoritative. “You have to be . but I see it another way. But this fighter uses the underminers’ blind spots to her benefit.” says Ivanka.. so I stake my ground politely and don’t sugarcoat things. Think Commanding. but they get tripped up because she won’t let on that she’s done her homework. no money in the budget” before you spring the fact that you know a junior coworker makes more than you do. “Know your audience. Then the punches have more power. So when you’re negotiating a raise. 4. let your boss say “Sorry. Handle a Bitch the Right Way Sometimes you’ll meet a heinous beast whose number-one goal is to make you squirm. nor is flirting with potential partners. “If you misjudge someone.”) builds a solid rep. And when you disagree. “Serious cleavage is not appropriate.” she advises. and evoke sensuality by saying you are “passionate about a project” or have “intimate knowledge” of your industry. 3. 2. 5. the girl has style. a little diplomacy (“You make a great point.
You could be a genius.” she advises.” When you ask for something outrageous. “It’s as basic as that.’” Ivanka says. The Donald doesn’t like to travel. “She’s never going to not respect that you asked for something above your duties. “If you think you can do a job that is a stretch but will test your confidence. but if someone else in the room is less intelligent but wants it more. BY BETHANY HEITMAN 1 of 3 » . Curious? Read on to find out what you need to do. let people know.willing to embarrass yourself by laying claim to something so egregious that you may get laughed at for it. they may be so taken aback.” The Secret to Getting What You Want in Life New research has uncovered a fascinating little strategy for achieving any goal. they’ll relent on a lesser point you really want. they have a leg up. so she took charge of huge deals in Hawaii and Dubai. Love What You Do The Trump business may live and die by one bottom line.” Why Being Ballsy Matters Ivanka didn’t get where she is by waiting for daddy to drop plum projects in her lap. And use the element of surprise to catch the boss’s eye. 8. but the family abides by this one: “My best advice from my dad is ‘Love what you do. such as your own private workspace. The only way to succeed is to have more motivation than the next person. like the nicest office. like putting an unexpected idea memo on her desk. “So what if she says no?” Ivanka says.
people think about only either the really good stuff or the terrible stuff. and it will seem more attainable. McCulloch. And doing something just for you feels selfish in a really good way. "There's something called the fantasy realization theory that has proven to help people attain whatever they want. loved ones may have ulterior motives for being naysayers. "By not telling anyone. Here's an example: Imagine you tell a friend that you want to train to be a long-distance runner. A study conducted at New York University found that blabbing about your goal can give you a false sense of accomplishment. Why Secret Dreams Are So Freakin' Powerful Okay. "But by considering both. Your bud has a "Oh. the more likely you'll do it because you don't want to be thought of as a failure. "So if they can have something that is solely theirs." says K." says McCulloch. writing a screenplay. so you can at least tell your BFF. "Surrounding yourself with people who have some connection to your dream is also sure to push you forward. "Often. that's great!" reaction. PhD. you're making sure your goal is something you're really doing for yourself. Wilson." says McCulloch. or yogacizing your bod down a size or two — you should broadcast it to everyone you know. Two more reasons why keeping your dream a secret will help your cause: You'll be so antsy finally to be able to share it with everyone that you'll put your nose to the grindstone and get it done as fast as possible. That's opposed to. that's easier said than done. but it also helps you plan exactly which steps you need to take to get there. tried-and-true ways to do it. If you announce that you're going to be devoting tons of time to a big goal. just wanting to have something impressive to talk about at parties. If you want to get into the fashion industry. right? Wrong. etc. New research shows the opposite is true. Plus. Then think about all the negative things you'll have to deal with along the way: sacrificing time with friends. you make the fantasy more realistic. Why should you. You feel so satisfied. After all. the more people you tell. "Women tend to overextend themselves for loved ones. schedule lots of ." Beyond that. that you lose motivation to get up early and jog." Not only that.It's a commonly held belief that whenever you set a new goal for yourself — whether it's scoring your ideal job." says McCulloch. wow. making you less likely to actually go after it. say. but there are some easy. in fact. a good friend or your significant other may worry that he or she will see less of you and subconsciously distract you from the finish line. you won't run the risk of letting anyone else's opinions get in your way." How to Self-Motivate When No One Knows Staying on task without support from your friends and family might sound impossible. an assistant professor at Idaho State University who worked on the study. author of Find Your Focus Zone. a life coach in Michigan and founder of Get Over It. for example." says psychologist Lucy Jo Palladino. plus tips for achieving your dream on the down-low. The gist is that you must fantasize about your goal on a regular basis — think about all the awesome consequences of achieving it. Keep reading for more reasons to stay mum. right? Nope." says Susan B. paying for expensive classes. PhD. when you're already reaping the benefits of being known as a runner? The smarter strategy: Don't tell a soul.C. it can feel really special. Move On! "If you tell someone you want to apply to a graduate program. and you get a jolt of satisfaction and pride. "What stops a lot of people from doing the things they dream of is other people. Of course. they may go on about how terrible the campus is…and you may start to believe them when you really should be trusting your own gut.
first kid by 30. you don’t want to be so locked into a game plan that you can’t grab a fabulous opportunity that comes out of the blue. but being around them will keep your eyes on the prize. They may not know what you're trying to do. have kids later. You No Longer Need a Five-Year Plan It used to be that people were encouraged to set a strict time line for achieving milestones: dream job by 25. married by 27. you no longer have to map out contentment in advance. then tweak your goals if necessary. That way.” says life coach Valorie Burton. and neither are the situations you’re facing these days. Can't think of anyone who fits the bill? Zip your damn lips. The New Life Rules to Follow Now These truisms of today allow you the power and flexibility to get what you want. how you want. Thankfully. If You Have to Blab to Someone… …Make sure you pick the right person to share your dream with. BY HOLLY EAGLESON Here’s the problem with conventional wisdom: You’re not conventional. Plus. “Committing because you’re supposed to — whether it’s saying I do or sticking it out at a soulless job — prevents you from seeking situations that make you happy. author of What Does Somebody Have to Do to Get a Job Around Here? . "Choose someone you trust completely who has never been competitive with you and has been successful at achieving her own goals. So Cosmo collected a set of modern guidelines perfect for a brazen 21stcentury babe like yourself. Another factor: Since it’s now acceptable to delay marriage. you can tell the whole world without suffering any of the negative effects of outing your secret. 1.” says career strategist Cynthia Shapiro. Your strategy then? “Reevaluate your path every six months. and job-hop.time with fashion-forward pals. and try writing an anonymous blog (just be sure to turn off the comments option)." says Palladino. it’s to your benefit to adopt a fluid approach to planning your future.
“Women who wear makeup earn 20 to 30 percent more income. you used to need two things: a stellar résumé and a Hillary Clinton–style crop. In fact. Well. says Kathleen A. 6.” . don’t feel guilty about establishing a surrogate family of friends. “If he has a steady job and friends who are coupling up.” says Stephanie Losee. Thankfully. author of Casual Power.” says Bogle. dating a coworker was considered career suicide.” says corporate image consultant Sherry Maysonave. so many have loosened policies against it. and Relationships on Campus.” 4. PhD. Bogle. so they test the waters. author of Forced to Be Family. “Major companies now realize that a woman doesn’t have to be masculine to be powerful. they don’t have the time or patience to court for months before finding out if they click physically. PhD. booty call could become your boyfriend. provided it’s not a boss/ subordinate situation. Mixing Business and Pleasure Is Wise Not so long ago. “When you get to know a coworker. You Can Run from Your Problems After a devastating breakup. If yours is more toxic than tight-knit. “It can be easier to be open with nonblood relatives. Taking a time-out to refocus after an unpleasant event — even if it’s just going to stay with a friend in Miami for a few weeks — can be an option. PhD. at least 50 percent of workers have dated a fellow employee. “A change of scenery may help you objectively choose the next best course of action. But companies have realized that interoffice dating actually increases productivity by as much as 20 percent. People are so busy with their careers. It’s Possible to Turn a Hookup into a Real Relationship Believe it or not. “It’s now common for women who have acrimonious relationships with their parents or live across the country from them to create family like bonds with roommates. coauthor of Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding — and Managing — Romance on the Job. “Women think they have to stay and ruminate over a problem to fix it. which may lead to more intimate connections. it’s a plus. like height. that would be a red flag to you online or at a bar.2. and 25 percent of them — including Barack and Michelle Obama — have married. coworkers.” says clinical psychologist Renee Gilbert. “You’re also bound to be intellectually compatible and have a built-in level of respect.” adds Maysonave. let it be known after the first two hookups that you want more than a fling. professor of psychology at Yale University and author of Women Who Think Too Much.” says Cheryl Dellasega. 3.m. Dating. And don’t underestimate young dudes: Research from the State University of New York at Oswego found that college guys may prefer relationships to one-night stands. author of Hooking Up: Sex. and friends. “If showing femininity builds confidence. PhD. you dream of escaping to Italy to drown your sorrows in gnocchi and gelato.” 5. you see past superficial stuff. your 2 a. But to convert an FWB into a BF. The fact is. but that increases anxiety and depression. there’s a good chance he’s relationship-ready. beauty and fashion sense can be assets. experts have one word for you: arrivederci.” says Susan NolenHoeksema. influential businesswomen like Oprah Winfrey have shown that you can have great success and great hair. Your Family Doesn’t Have to Be the Most Important Thing Not everyone is born into a nurturing clan. Guys may just need a nudge to take it to the next level. Short Hair Is Not a Job Requirement To reach the top of your profession.
” says Kirshenbaum. it takes a bomb going off to get them to address their problems. it can be salvaged. PhD. The Texting Tease You’re seeing a really cute/smart/funny/cool new guy. The Double Message Of course you screen calls. The 10 Most Annoying Text Habits Ever 3. 15 to 20 percent are. “It’s a misconception that real estate is an investment guaranteed to make money. Everyone does. At present. in some cases.” says Aaron Rochlen. Stay-at-Home Dads Are Catches. “Many young guys saw their moms work growing up. says Melissa Milkie. This setup works best when the wife also has progressive ideas about gender equality and allows the husband to control some aspects of the household so there is an equal division of power. In the middle of the week. A Relationship Can Survive After One Person Cheats Cheaters are cruel. and comfortable with his masculinity — all great qualities in a partner. What’s more. “You may make more in the long run by putting cash you’d pay in interest on a home loan. Not Lazy Asses With 25 percent of chicks outearning their spouses and childcare costs skyrocketing. So why — why?! — do certain people feel the need to send a text letting you know that they just left a message? Don’t they realize that if someone is smart enough to read a text. associate professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. Sometimes you’re in the middle of something and sometimes you just don’t feel like talking. author of When Good People Have Affairs. So if the cheater is deeply apologetic and committed to working to improve the relationship. they’re also capable of understanding what the little bobble head with the sound waves coming out of him symbolizes? Text back. and repairs into investments like T-bills or inflation-indexed bonds. But your phone is still working. but the rest are well-meaning if imperfect people who love their partner but made a stupid mistake. “For some couples. 8. right? Well. You Don’t Have to Grow Up and Buy a House Already Once upon a time. an indiscretion can sometimes draw a duo closer together. But given the current mortgage crisis. PhD. says psychologist Mira Kirshenbaum. and narcissistic. it could be shrewder to rent until the market rebounds. nearly 2 million men have chosen to stay home and raise the kids. adults who rented were dismissed as Peter Pans with negative cash flow.7. and your heart skips a tiny beat every time you get a text from him. it may be smarter to rent. property taxes. selfish. so they respect a successful woman and don’t assume that the man has to be the breadwinner. able to compromise. and you see the missed call and the voice message alert. “What’s next. A guy who’s willing to stay home is likely supportive.” explains Shiller. 9. a carrier pigeon?” 4. you get one asking what you’re up to this .” says Robert Shiller. coauthor of Changing Rhythms of American Family Life. professor of economics at Yale University and author of The Subprime Solution.
Send a text saying. “la la la. “Guys... “Hey.” Or. The Show-and-Teller Love is wonderful.” Clearly. Assuming he wants to do something together. The Bulk Texter An example of what a series of texts from this person might look like: Text 1: Hey! Text 2: What’s up? Text 3: What are you doing tonight? Text 4: Some of us are going to Cool People Bar tonight. look what my Mom said about her gallbladder! Omg you won’t . “What upppp. reading books. but you also have to read all of their SUPER-cute texts.. Text 5: Around 10 Text 6: It’s gonna be me and Chris Text 7: Are you coming? Text 8: Let us know Text 9: Byeee! Text 10: lolz An example of what that exchange should look like: Text 1: Hey. thanks to your confident attitude. But your phone dings. Chris and I are going to Cool People Bar around 10 tonight. Respond “Yeah. Does he then proceed to make a plan with you? No. We’re huge advocates of love and being in love and enjoying that love. the ball is in his court. 7. but ultimately you’re the one who is in charge. The Bored Texter You’ve just finished a sufficiently long and entertaining texting exchange with someone. (one-minute pause) Text 8: For “realz. you let him know that it’s looking pretty relaxed so far. 5. He responds. “Oh okay. cool.” Or. watching movies.” This way.” 6. they have nothing else to say and just want something to do. baking. An example of what you could text back: Text 1: Please Text 2: never Text 3: text Text 4: me Text 5: this Text 6: way Text 7: again.” Your buddy will get the point that some people actually have a life.” You stand there with a perplexed look on your face. and it’s another text from said person. Not only do you have to listen to them tell every insignificant story about how cute it was that their boyfriends ate pancakes for dinner and woke up with a funny hairdo.. look what he wrote to me! Omg look at what he said now! Haha aww. “Running. and now you’re ready to put your phone down for a little while. Let us know if you wanna come.weekend. It looks like this: “Soooo. but call my secretary if you want to schedule something. People gushing on and on about their amazing love life? Not so much. look at this one!!” The cure? A dose of their own medicine.
” Do people not even have the decency to include the o? The offender doesn’t even need to reply to the message. The Needs-to-Grow-a-Pair Texter Guys should never. no girl wants to associate the men in their lives with tween-speak. so you send back a detailed and informative reply. 3. Ask to be assigned a room above the ground floor. Oh. You open the message and it says. The next time he sends you a “TTY L8ER” or “C U 2morrow. Then get ready to start running. they owe you for superfluous texts the next time you’re together. And hears it vibrating violently every two minutes. date. Once inside your room..“k. to the cent. If the desk clerk mentions your room number out loud and there are other guests around. When the lights come up at the end of the flick. BlackBerry. he’s doing it again!!” 8. travel safety expert Marybeth Bond explains what you must know before you check in. 9. 1. 10. Here’s a little secret he doesn’t know: EVERYONE sees his phone lighting up. Sidekick.” He’ll realize how outdated his text-talk is.believe how I’m planning to organize my sock drawer! Aww. could they not at least drum up something a little more personal/creative/not totally unnecessary? Respond by letting them know how much. call up a friend and loudly discuss how rude the guy texting throughout the entire movie was. 7 Travel Secrets to Keep You Safe Freaked out that a creepy perv made a nude video of ESPN Anchor Erin Andrews by peeping into her hotel room? You’re not alone. Here. The Goobers-and-Popcorn Texter The previews are over. my dog is wagging his tail. 2. But the guy in front of you insists on ruining your experience by texting for the entire 96 minutes. Your phone dings again. You get a message asking how your day went or if you’ll be free at a certain time.” tell him that he should really consider an iPhone. especially if there are sliding glass doors — an entry point offering easier views of and access into your room. request that you be given a different room. Hang the Do Not Disturb sign on the door when you’re out so would-be thieves will think the room is occupied. But if they feel the need to. or “anything that gives you more room to text. or boyfriend. and here you finally are. . The Lingering K This one is especially aggravating if you’re not on an unlimited texting plan. Whether he’s a friend. check the door and window locks. you’ve been waiting to see this movie for weeks.. Then hold your palm out expectantly. ever get comfortable with using text slang and abbreviations. snacks in hand.
have the rental car agency or hotel arrange for someone to accompany you to and from parking lots.4. pack some safety pins and duct tape so you can make sure the curtains are completely closed. If you plan on staying at an inexpensive motel. BY MOLLY FAHNER . For more safety tips. 5. The Fierce New Secret to Success Forget everything you've heard about the importance of playing it safe right now. If you like to walk around naked in your hotel room (no judgment!). We tell you how to take the plunge. The Gutsy Traveler. brazen move. If you use the preorder menu that hangs on your door all night. 7. This way you can easily peel it off when you need to peek out. don’t mark a first name or the number of people in the room — this reveals to anyone passing your room that you’re alone. If you’re planning to arrive at night. Pull the drapes shut as soon as you walk into your hotel room. check out Marybeth Bond’s Website. it's time to make a bold. 6. If you really want to succeed. cover the peephole on the interior side of the door with a Band-Aid.
" according to psychologist Frank Farley. Go with Your Gut Instincts A study found that when making simple choices (like what cereal to buy). Live Like a Type T The first step is to figure out where you stand on the spectrum of risk taking." says Arianna Huffington. you can crib some crucial ballsy skills from people who do come by their fearlessness naturally. PhD. They look at chaos as an opportunity for change. Who hasn't wished at times for a magic fearlessness potion. When things are changing a lot — and quickly — it's scary. but it also opens the door to unexpected possibilities. Get ready not only to survive but to thrive. Simply using these clear-headed strategies can ensure that you do the right thing." How to Make a Choice You'll Never Regret Forget the psychic and Magic-8 Ball. an expert on thrill seekers at Temple University. "Type T's are natural-born thrill seekers who live for excitement and uncertainty..'" So how do you incorporate that inspiration into your own life? New research is showing that you don't have to be born brave to act that way. As the president's chief of staff. or fearlessness. and at the other is type t.com. put it: 'You never want a serious crisis to go to waste — and what I mean by that is an opportunity to do things you thought you could not do before. But when it comes to bigger ones (like which job to take).and of failing. What. now. Read on for the four key ways to tap in to your inner tigress. And remember this: "The survival skill of the 21st century is going to be dealing with change. Farley has devised a T scale (the T stands for thrill) to describe the distinction: At one end is the Type T. Chances are. And here's the really counterintuitive part: This is actually the best time ever to do something fierce and bold. Then ask yourself what's stopping you. "Times of upheaval can indeed lead to major positive shifts in our lives. we've got a secret for you: It takes only one leap of faith to propel your life forward for the better. it pays to be rational. something you could gulp down that would instantly transform you into Gutsy Girl? But lacking magic and with the world in an uncertain state. While other people get nervous and avoid trying anything different. you're better off listening to your instincts.Think of one big thing you would love to do but haven't. they take action. When my best friend got canned last week and everyone says the economy's totally whacked? Yes. of turning your life upside down. 1. Rahm Emanuel. Instead. it's tempting to stay in your bubble and put off going after those dreams. Well.. author of On Becoming Fearless and creator of the news-and-politics Website TheHuffingtonPost. "The upside of the downturn is that it may force you to confront your darkest fears and push through them. it's fear — of navigating new territory. but if you have weighed the pros and cons and ." Farley says. That's not to say you should buy a car on a whim. now? you're probably thinking. "These people often do their finest work in periods of flux.
But it's best to keep your hairstylist.but Just for One Night Researchers say unconscious deliberation (i.. Sleep on It. we tend to act rashly when we're nervous or upset.. The reason being. Research suggests that anxiety not only makes it more difficult to settle on something but also actually makes you more likely to come to the wrong conclusion. And since one study found that stress has a residual effect.. 3. keep it to yourself.still can't reach a conclusion.. let your snap judgment be the tiebreaker and go with what just feels right. 5. A good rule of thumb: Play out each possible scenario in your mind. For example. ask yourself if the person is really in a position to know what's best for you. Before seeking someone's opinion. and barista out of it. 7. trainer. Similarly. Put Down the Mojito There's a reason Google Mail Goggles was invented: Cocktails make it easier to act. doing things like sitting in the sun or having unprotected sex often can feel right in the moment. Soliciting too many opinions — especially from people who don't know you that well — can leave you with lots of conflicting (not to mention bad) advice. But Avoid Discussing It with Everyone So you know that running your decision past a few key people in your life is smart. but these toxic behaviors have serious health ramifications. telling your guy you cheated on him once three years ago may relieve your guilt. on a friend's or boyfriend's feelings. or whomever you trust to give an honest opinion is a good idea. which is why people will often tell you to sleep on it. wait a few days after you've kissed and made up before forking over your security deposit. Hashing out your options allows you to further process the decision. 4. try to resolve the disagreement quickly so you can make a more clearheaded resolution. belaboring a decision for too long means you aren't comfortable with any of the choices you have before you and you need to consider alternatives. your mom.. Consider the Long-Term Consequences Some decisions make short-term sense but in the long run can be disastrous. but it will probably cause him to break up with you.e.and consider the outcome (on your health. and hearing others' perspectives (whether you agree with them or not) can help you arrive at a more informed — and better — conclusion. However. 6. . 2. So if you're fighting with your boyfriend while choosing between two apartments. Get into a Stress-Free State Go for a haircut right after you are laid off and you could wind up looking like Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men. If the answer is no. Talk It Over with a Select Few Chatting about your predicament with close friends. more than that can cloud your judgment. on your credit-card bill — whatever) before making a controversial move. Although one drink can relax you while you're agonizing over a choice. getting shut-eye) can help you analyze your options and come to a conclusion.
In our rapidly changing world. But don't paper your cube with canines. and social world — one that has nothing to do with effort or luck. experts recommend assessing each new opportunity with a fresh mind-set. Mind Tricks That Get You What You Want You can actually learn to use subliminal messages to make people adore you. which will help you act more logically and guilt-free. Blow Off Bullies Who Are Pressuring You When grappling with a decision. Don't Leave It Up to Chance It can be dangerous to make a major. Research shows that by exposing people to specific words. 9. they can be affected in a way that benefits you without their even realizing what's going on. body language. . moving across the country) should not be left up to the stars. Research shows that too many personal shots make other perceive you as a less professional worker. 10. they not only tend to presume you're loyal. and don't smile as often as you're inclined. While it's definitely fun to let these things influence small decisions (which dress to wear on a date. And if that's not possible. Here's how to use subliminal moves to get an edge. Remember That You Can't Always Use the Past to Predict the Future Especially when you're making a choice that will seriously affect your bank account or lifestyle. it can be easy to be swayed in one direction by someone who has self-serving motives — whether it's a salesperson talking you into buying a pair of shoes you can't afford or your parents being all up in your grill about going to a particular grad school. and symbols. it's important not to rely simply on experience. sneaky strategy behind this science. What might have been a shrewd move a few years ago — like buying a house or leaving your 9-to-5 gig to start up your own business — could wreak havoc on your life today. but they may also act more loyal toward you. Distance yourself from the person or people pressuring you while you sort out your thoughts. pretend you're advising a friend on the matter. love life. Why it works: When people look at shots of a pet dog.8. It's called priming. What you want: To appear more powerful in the office hierarchy How to get it: Wear a chic all-black outfit to work. life-changing choice based on what your horoscope instructs you to do. Behold the smart. the bigger stuff (dumping your boyfriend. At Work What you want: To seem like a team player How to get it: Put up a picture of your dog (or even of a friend's pup) in your workspace. if you should ask out a guy). There's a subtle tactic to make things go your way in your career.
Why it works: It's a proven way to win someone's affection: Libraries and car dealerships have higher customer-satisfaction ratings when workers imperceptibly touch their clients. What you want: To make a friend out of an acquaintance How to get it: Start mirroring her behavioral tics. What you want: Your slob roomie to clean up after herself more often . Researchers at New York University found that when you're sitting across from someone who's unconsciously shaking his foot.. she'll implicitly assume you're an emotionally warm person — someone very likable. And because they're looking at you. then the person feels more positive toward you. Why it works: A recent study showed that just by holding the high-temp liquid. or celebrity. like touching your hair when she touches hers. your targets start to think about all the qualities they admire in that person. "The sun felt so fabulously warm against my skin") to paint a mental picture about the climate. Why it works: Researchers think that simply being in this kind of an environment can influence a person to behave in terms of communicating. they'll subconsciously link you with that person's positive traits. Studies have found that people in black uniforms (like sports teams) are viewed as more dominant figures. Why it works: Experts say that as you talk about their hero in a positive light. feminine colors and furniture with few angular lines. author. while the act of keeping a neutral face is associated with higher status and power in a work environment. Why it works: According to psychologists. In Social Settings What you want: To impress your guy's parents the first time you meet How to get it: Casually praise someone whom you're certain his mom or dad holds high esteem. Touch activates the human desire to bond. if you start moving yours in a similar but unobtrusive way.Why it works: You'll be seen as assertive and directed. With a Man What you want: To seem more alluring when you meet a guy How to get it: Talk about a beach vacation you took using sensual terms (e. this seductive I-feel-like-I'm-there speech will make him associate your personality with the lush sensations you're describing. That means that he'll be more likely to be open and disclose his true feelings to you. Why it works: We like to see ourselves in other people.g. such as a political figure. What you want: Your crush to fall for you on a dinner date How to get it: Subtly touch the back of his hand as you're reaching across the table for bread. What you want: To have The Talk without his flipping out How to get it: Take him to a restaurant that has soft. Just don't hand her an iced latte or you could trigger a frosty reception. What you want: To bond with the boss How to get it: Offer to get her a hot cup of coffee — even if you're not her assistant — and chat her up as she's drinking it.
but many mortals are not so kind. You can also prime her by squirting a little fluid in the bathroom sink before she goes in to use it. How to Spot a Real-Life Vampire Twilight's Edward Cullen puts his life at stake to save his love. Cosmo IDs the toxic villains who make your blood boil. Why it works: A Dutch study recently proved that the faint smell of a cleaning product will spur people to start picking up the area around them. money and love. BY ASHLEY WOMBLE The Buddy Thief . but there are certain types of people who suck up your time.How to get it: Spray a bit of liquid all-purpose cleaner in the air right before she enters the skanky spot in question. They may not have visible fangs or a fear of sunlight.
"No. again?" • You constantly have to tell her. How to spot: • She only wants to go out with you if you're getting an amazing group together.She's a new acquaintance who hijacks your social life by befriending all of your pals. How to spot: • She appears to only be able to speak in interrogative sentences." • When she can't manage to complete a project. The Clingy Coworker Her constant need for help and reassurance tests your patience. and wine. • At bars." and "No. "How do I do that?" and "Where is the copier. • You don't know what his voice sounds like on the phone. • You suddenly notice a ton of your friends on her Facebook page. • You hear from your girls that she's invited them to dinners and parties — and hasn't included you. it magically lands on your desk. How to spot: • You only see him after dark. How to spot: . How to spot: • When she invites you over for dinner. The Flaky Friend with Benefits He's lurking in your life — soaking up your love and affection — but refuses to commit. she often claims to have forgotten her ATM card at home. The Mooch This friend drains your bank account by taking advantage of your generosity. such as. The Drama Queen Empathizing with her takes up nearly all of your time and energy. you're not getting fired. and she's still there three months later. you somehow wind up bringing the main dish. salad. • You tell her she can crash on your couch for a week between apartments. the boss doesn't hate you. • The only meal you've ever shared is late-night pizza.
learn some quick and easy tips now.. So instead of putting it off any longer. and then won't so much as talk to yours. How to Save Your Ass with Self-Defense It's awesome if you can take a self-defense course. • He insists you hang out with his friends.but most of us don't have the money (or time) to commit. BY CASSANDRA KAPP . She asks for your advice and then promptly does the exact opposite. It doesn't feel like a normal conversation unless she breaks down in tears at least once.• • • She always writes "911" text messages to be sure you will call her immediately. • He thinks foreplay is a one-way street that leads to his penis.. The High-Maintenance Boyfriend This dude likes to be doted on and insists on monopolizing your attention at all times. How to spot: • He doesn't know how to turn on the oven.
or walk home from the bar wasted. Here.and then some sharp ideas for how to react if things really do get physical. Be discreet online. CEO and founder of the Women's Self-Defense Institute. The rest of your defense is just being aware of your surroundings and taking preventive measures. or being distracted by your iPod or text messages make you an easy target for a bad guy. Attackers tend to look for women who appear insecure or unsuspecting. told us.. 3. Simply say." and keep moving. If a stranger says he needs a hand — but you get a creepy vibe from him — you don't have to be nice. Don’t go to the ATM by yourself at 2 a..m. Get bitchy.Tamara Schlesinger Did you know that only 10 percent of self-defense is actually physical? That's what Angie Tarighi. You can’t control the predators but can control the opportunities you give them. Hunching over. walk confidently with your shoulders back and chin up. chatting on your cell. Make eye contact. "Sorry. HOW TO PREVENT AN ATTACK 1. Don't get sloppy during after-hours.. You want to send the signal that you’re a secure chick who could kick anyone’s ass. Be a hard target. 2. . leave the windows to your house open at night. Instead. how to fight an attacker before he strikes. 4. but I really can't stop to help right now.
A great skill to know is the palm heel strike. Make sure to bend your knees. . The Buddy System That Can Save Your Life The saying "There is safety in numbers" has never been more true. If this is the case. and then run in the opposite direction. just below his eyes. and put your whole body into it as you swing your hooked elbow across his jaw. and alleys. Other places attackers hide: between cars (even on streets). If he attacks you from behind. When fighting off an attacker. 6. bushes. Keys can especially do a lot of damage: If an attacker comes at you. 5. throw your purse as far as you can. or even hairspray. and actually know all the friends you approve. Often. and there aren't other people around. Whether it's an umbrella. Be on the lookout. stairwells. Let them have it. stomp on the top of his foot.Avoid having your contact information on your Facebook page. throat. 9. Use your palm. twist your hips. Use what's in your hands. 8. and knees. go for his vulnerable points like eyes. Aim for weak points. anything can be a weapon. Parking lots are popular places for attacks because you’re distracted. Your elbow is way more effective than your fists. your hands are often full. You should hit the groin last. as your attacker expects you’ll go there first. Cosmo explains why you need to make a danger-thwarting pact with your posse. WHAT TO DO IF IT GETS PHYSICAL 7. Step into the attacker and forcefully bang your palm at the top of your attacker's nose. cell phone. Try having a different profile account for your close friends than you do for your acquaintances. an attacker or predator just wants your money. scratch his face or jab at his eyes with the keys. pen. Get your hands in the high-five position with the palm pushed forward and your fingers back. Throw your elbow. 10.
” says Karen J. . Nobody’s going to get all finger-waggy on you. PhD. is the creature who has wandered away from the pack.” explains David Lisak.. And the most vulnerable prey. And then. there are the date-rape drugs. RULE 1: Designate a Sober Chauffeur — Even if You’re on Foot Okay.Wadley These days. As far as who might be the attacker. “It’s about showing that you value your friends and refuse to stand by and watch something bad happen to them. coauthor of Forsaken Females: The Global Brutalization of Women. “The person at greatest risk to become a victim is someone who is alone late at night and is also under the influence of drugs or alcohol. there are some sobering statistics to be aware of. PhD. Vowing to follow them might just save a friend’s life. Call it the buddy system: a code of conduct that you and your friends should adopt to look out for one another.. it hints at a strategy that could save your life. an associate professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice and the author of Sexual Offenses and Offenders. As scary as that notion is. PhD. whether wild animals or chicks out for a good time on Saturday night. of course. Being out there alone compounds the dangers that already exist on the party circuit.” says Ruth Anne Koenick. “The percentage of male sexual offenders under the influence of alcohol at the time of the assault is in the high 90s. so you like to party. it’s just as likely to be the guy sitting on the next bar stool as it is to be the unknown perv lurking in a dark alley. an associate professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts at Boston. Read on for Cosmo’s five buddy-system rules. “A predator is looking for the most vulnerable prey. Not only does booze cloud your judgment. and at least three quarters of women victims had been drinking. Terry. it can blind you to the subtle cues that the dazzling guy you’re talking to is trying to manipulate you.” says Cornell University professor Andrea Parrot.or your own. it’s not uncommon to hear about young females who go out to party one night and don't come back. These stories share a key element: All of these women had started their evenings with friends and at some point went off on their own. But when it comes to drinking. director of sexual-assault services and crime-victim assistance at Rutgers University.
the bartender just flashed the lights for last call. “If you abandon your friend. such as a dizziness and amnesia-inducing substance called rohypnol. So when you go out at night. You may feel pretty sure about this guy — you know him fairly well. and loss of memory. um. ensuring that no one stumbles out of the club with a relative stranger. “If you know your friend is no lightweight but she’s falling-down drunk after one drink.” says Koenick. not wanting to be a buzz kill). roofies. a mutual gym buddy has vetted him. advises Donna Chaiet. Other clues include drowsiness. When you gently remind her of the rules. president and CEO of Witness Justice. . she will forgive you in the morning.” Even if she gets pissed off. try one of Cosmo's irresistible lure-him-in tricks.. and before it became clear that tonight was gonna be the night. RULE 2: Don’t Get Distracted by a Hot Dude The rules that you and your best friend made seemed so sensible five hours ago — before you ran into that guy from your gym you’ve been flirting with across treadmills for months.. advises Helga West. Don’t ask your pal if it’s okay if you leave without her (“I’m fine. almost 5 percent of sexual-assault victims were given a date-rape drug.” Parrot says.According to one recent study. that’s a pretty clear sign. a nonprofit organization that helps survivors of violent crime. dizziness. and your rules allow for the occasional hookup — but that doesn’t mean you’re free to go. someone needs to be designated the responsible person (you can rotate taking on this duty) who will stay sober and look out for everyone — be it by stopping a pal from stripping on the bar. Try a compromise: You and Gym Guy can see your buddy to her door (or her car or a cab) as promised and then continue on with your. “Resort to guilt-tripping her” by pointing out that she’s leaving you in the lurch. and one of your friends is about to jump into a car with a guy she met 10 minutes ago. chances are.” your nice friend will say. founder of Prepare/ IMPACT Personal Safety in New York City. aka. RULE 3: Be a Bitch The following scenario is bound to crop up at some point: It’s 2 a.m. “Or explain to the people she wants to go off partying with that she promised to go home with you. She also can be on the alert for signs that one of you has been drugged. or keeping an eye on your drinks. she sneers. workout. 30 Sexy Conversation Starters If you still have bruises from kicking yourself the last time you didn't make a move on a lusty lad.. you’re saying that you value your fun over her safety. “Who are you? My mother?” Don’t let her quip throw you off course.
"I'll give you half of this watermelon for a couple of sodas. while rivals will pick a flirty fight. it's that time of year when the livin' is easy. tell a sharp shooter that you and your pal have wagered a beer on who will win. Paddle up to a sexy surfer and say. look defeated.. Rub it on your shoulders. saunter over to him and offer a tantalizing trade. then strain to reach the middle of your back. You're at a bookstore. Don't be surprised if a friendly fella starts chatting you up to see if you really live up to your title. There is nothing as hair-pullingly frustrating as being surrounded by a slew of delectable men and not being armed with a great strategy to break the ice and win a stud's attention — not to mention his heart. or football team. Pretty sweet deal. no guy will have either. While he's waiting for his turn during a pool game." Ask a gorgeous globe-trotter for suggestions about where the hottest vacation locales are. Don a necklace or T-shirt with your name on it or.. challenge them to a game. Say. Guys who are also fans will want to bond. Start eyeing the ground. The beach is bustling. surprising icebreakers that will make babes eager to banter with you. if you're more daring. lock eyes with him. Never heard of it? That's the point. So we devised a handy chat-him-up crib sheet filled with sizzling. Make up any rules you want — as long as they have you running around a lot and cheering loudly. "Lose" one of your earrings. especially near that dude you'd like to date.. Use it anytime you see a man you simply must meet.. ask if he wouldn't mind giving you a dab. Would you mind if I climbed on your board for a second so I can get a better view of the beach?" When the gorgeous guy on the towel near you is smoothing on sunscreen. picking up a guy ain't always a breeze.." Ask him if he'll pose in the shot and pretend to be your boyfriend. (Just kidding. huh?" Ask a cute beachcomber to take a picture of you "to send to a friend. Hang out in the travel section. When a circle of intrigued sporty studs forms around you and your bunnymates. Get the gals together and start a rowdy game of Sandbunny. . with bronzed boys everywhere.Yes. then sweetly inquire if he'll be your deejay and help you pick out a few songs. Ask the guy near the jukebox if he has four quarters for your dollar. When you both hit the floor. planning an "upcoming trip. then smile when you're just inches away from each other's lips.) It's Saturday night. a cute moniker like Sweet Devil or Foxy Mama. and ask him for a heavenly hand. basketball. and he'd better not let you down. When he says he doesn't know. Ask the adorable guy in the fiction section if he can help you remember that best-seller by Tom What's-his-name. ask him to recommend a high-suspense book — you love a little mystery. Lift your hair and show him the other earring so he can help you in your search. a prime place to meet a cultured cutie. Cosmo knows that the biggest hurdle in hooking a new guy is choosing the perfect words or executing an eye-catching stunt that will launch you into a full-on flirtation. but as you know. and the bar is swarming with single studs.. "I drifted away from where my girlfriends are sitting. If you spy a cutie with a cooler of drinks. Go to a sports bar wearing the cap of your favorite baseball.
ask if there's any whipped cream on your lip. If he gets really animated during your cinema chat. . Ask a buff boy to help you remove them. Ask to borrow the movie section of his newspaper to see what's playing that night and casually inquire if he's seen any good flicks lately. Lay your mat near a dude doing crunches. Didn't we meet at Lisa's coed naked lawn-bowling party?" It doesn't matter that he won't even know who Lisa is. At a party. Say. Glance at him and ask.." In the coffee shop. Lock eyes with him and let him know you're not a psycho — this book is just so funny! Lean in to show him a hilarious line. a Thai cookbook). enlist his help in opening a jar of olives or a bottle of wine. If possible. Bring a hilarious card for the host of the soiree. "You look so familiar. he won't be able to resist asking what exactly happens at a naked lawn-bowling party. a guide to mountain climbing." After taking a big sip of your mocha so your smackers get doused with whipped cream. special-order an out-of-stock book and ask him to call you — any time at all — when it comes in. Have everyone at the party sign it — it's an easy ticket to talk to your target.. then ask him if he'd like you to read his. ask him how he likes it and if you could take a look since you're thinking of buying one. add in the line. ask him to be your partner. You want to try the leg-press machine.. After breaking a sweat. turn to a mouthwatering man and exclaim. "I'd love to take a closer look at the merchandise. Sit down at a table near him with a stack of intriguing books (a massage manual. loudly announce to a pal that you're launching a thrill campaign to add excitement to your life — and you're now officially up for almost anything. In front of the guy who's caught your eye. but the last user left heavy weights on it. If you're feeling bold. type in your name and phone number. invite him to catch a 7:30 show with you.. I can't catch my breath — I just don't know if it's the workout or the company. Compliment a stylish stud on his awesome. and when he takes a sit-up break. "Any suggestions?" You're getting hot at the gym. ever-so-politely ask if he can show you the best move to get six-pack abs. ask if he'll watch them so they don't get reshelved while you make a quick phone call. and start laughing seductively. sit down next to him. "Ooh. a man has you mesmerized. state-of-the-art athletic shoes and ask him where he bought them. If he works there. Just make sure to tuck in your shirt (or forget to). When he comes into the kitchen for another beer. Pick out a humor book. you scope out a hunky java junkie. When the instructor asks everyone to pair up for a headstand drill. If he has the latest laptop (or Palm or cell phone).. he'll be so intrigued.. Take a long time licking it off. Minutes later. and it's not from working out. Situate yourself near the hottie in your yoga class. Practice some psychic savvy — read a few of your pals' palms.
.. As you're walking by a hot joe-sipping stud. Your internship application asks for your past job experience — and your measurements.. he says. "Do I want a skim latte with a shot of hazelnut? Is the caramel cappuccino good? Maybe I should try that. “No. not that one. "You know what they say about men who drink coffee.” 8." Top 10 Signs Your Internship Boss Might Go Letterman on You Some colleges are keeping a closer eye on their interns after a certain talk-show host admitted to giving some of his temporary employees. "Catch me here at this time tomorrow and I'll tell you all about it. ." Then gently tap his shoulder and ask. special treatment. If you’re an intern. 9. seductively utter. He keeps talking about what the meaning of the word is is. "What?" Tell him. BY ROBIN HILMANTEL Asha Fuller 10." When he smiles and asks. When he asks to see your body of work and you hand him your portfolio. watch out for these clues that your boss might be just a little too into The Late Show. While standing by him in line for coffee. debate out loud which brew to order. "What do you think I should get?" He's sure to offer advice. ahem.
he says. There's a VIP-only party @ [fill in your address here] 2nite.. your boss says. .And the number-one sign your internship boss might go Letterman on you: “This job blows” doubles as both a complaint and your job description. Sexy Texts to Entice Him Want to turn him on in 10 words or less? These naughty e-notes will do it. Can I bring anything 4 our d8? Wine? Chocolate sauce? I'm in dressing room @ the mall. TDTM (translation: text dirty to me) Don't do much @ the gym. shoes one day. 5. isn’t it?” and stares at your breasts — but it’s a summer internship..in a thong. he insists you call him Dick — even though his name is George. When you grab drinks with the staff after work one day. your desk has been moved to a new location — in his so-called Inner Office. (b) in a Jacuzzi. “What happens at happy hour stays at happy hour”.. When you call him Mr..7. 4.. Ur ass looks gr8 in those jeans. I was a BAD GIRL and spent my lunch hour shopping. “I bet you’d like to know how you could get into my pants. he says.. Ur picturing me (a) naked.” 2. (c) both Was in such a rush! 4got 2 wear a bra.more than 20 times. Making small talk about the weather.. 6. He tells you he wants to introduce you to a “special member” (air quotes) of the staff. . The pressure's awesome.. You can spank me later.save energy for L8R. 3. Got a new showerhead — the detachable kind. Smith on the first day. During your “career advice” meeting. “It’s cold outside. As a result of a switch-up in the office floor plans. er.
PhD.m.. wink. We break down how these feelings operate and offer tips for harnessing their power. suss out a person. humans tend to let "rational" thinking override it. And while animals often heed this sixth sense. Here's the thing: Intuition can guide us to make smarter. I NEED you to help me unwind. Noel J.. Splurged at Victoria's Secret. Other ideas for what we can do in the dark? Yes. Let's throw a party tonight — for two. My roommate is out of town. Still fits. Found my old cheerleading uniform. but what you may not realize is that it's a biological survival tool. ... author of Gut Feelings. says Gert Gigerenzer. Federizo You've heard of intuition. Wink. can she? No movies out I want to see. A girl can't have too many lacy panties. You Should Trust Your Gut You have a natural sixth sense that can help you make better decisions. even save your life. U bring the pole. HOT kiss this a.I'll pole dance 4 you. Had a stressful day. Hope you can finish what you started. faster choices. BY MOLLY TRIFFIN Her subconscious just gave this guy the thumbs-up.
Your unconscious picks up on clues below the surface of rational awareness and communicates the info to you via intuitive feelings. Example: While someone who cooks regularly can wing a recipe with terrific results. author of Intuition. people can tell when a smile is fake yet can't explain why) or by past situations. Having trouble tuning in to your gut? Jump-start it by making a logical decision." Read This Before You Go on Facebook Again Having 764 friends is fun. a less practiced chef should probably stick to the instructions. If your heart sinks. it doesn't matter which you go for." says Gigerenzer. Orloff. Ways to Spot a Gut Signal An unconscious nudge often manifests physically." notes Gigerenzer. etc. "In unfamiliar territory. "It calmly advises you what to do. so I guess I'll do the pants"). take stock of how you feel about that conclusion. "Your brain has a database of knowledge that your subconscious sifts through. on a deeper level you might be noticing patterns between her and someone else who mistreated you. These messages are sparked by perceptual cues (e. But how can you tell if the jittery anxiety you have before boarding a plane is a subconscious SOS or just nerves? "A gut instinct isn't accompanied by fear. But this exercise gets you in the habit of relying on gut reactions instead of analyzing ("I wore jeans the other day. So if you get bad vibes from a coworker. listening to your inner voice will become second nature and help you out with important decisions. "The unconscious and conscious minds were designed to work in tandem.What Intuition Is "Gut instincts are mental shortcuts used to make a snap judgment based on experience and environment. Pick the one who makes more sense (has a better job." notes Gigerenzer." How to Intuit "Intuition is like a muscle." notes Dr. your job — even your safety.. MD. Just remember that your intuition's power depends on the breadth of your experience. such as whether to wear jeans or black pants." says David Myers.). but some social-networking blunders can affect your rep. Eventually. PhD. says Judith Orloff." So give it a workout by following your instinct with inconsequential choices. author of Positive Energy — think a knot in your stomach or feeling the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.g. Assuming both look great on. Say you're dating two guys. "It gets stronger with use. you know the other guy is right. It's like a little covert operation in your head. but before doing anything. give practical thinking added weight. .
any random acquaintance who knows or can guess what these are could log in and pretend to be you.” says Aftab. with PhotoCrank in Palo Alto. photos can still be tagged and copied onto another site. You Post Pictures of Yourself Partying Hard “Almost all big employers now look up young applicants on Facebook or MySpace to see if anything surfaces that may indicate the person isn’t a good hire. “Even when you use the privacy controls. . like a guy you chat with at work.” says Parry Aftab. sending messages that are hurtful to others and detrimental to your rep. If you do. Another reason to never post your name.” says Aftab. “With these details. a credit-card account can be created in your name. your pet’s name. and the other names on your friends list. don’t friend them at all. “If you don’t know someone in real life. a generation-Y marketing Website. or another common password to log in to your page.” You Update Your Status and Say Where You Are The status update is a fun Facebook feature. says Aftab. with the street number in view. So restrict access to any suggestive photos. choose something less obvious.. founder of Ypulse. And though letting your friends know you’re going to a specific club for the night or leaving for vacay tomorrow seems innocuous.or don’t post them at all. The upside to restricting your page: You’ll come off as mysterious. You Pick an Easy-to-Guess Password Don’t use your middle name.” says Aftab. “He can copy your info onto his own Website or distribute it via e-mail. address. “If your name is attached. lets anyone with access to your page know where to find you. You Make Identifying Details Public Posting a cute photo of yourself in front of your house. Instead.. California.” says Anastasia Goodstein. or date of birth is to avoid identity theft. And be wary of fully friending a person you only kinda-sorta know. day-to-day details. Yet that’s kind of what you’re doing if you fully friend them on Facebook — or leave your MySpace page public — and let them see photos. says social-media expert Ryan Hupfer. an Internet privacy and security lawyer.You Friend Anyone You wouldn’t let strangers into your house and give them access to your personal things. and don’t share it. you’re essentially telling everyone your location and when you won’t be home — setting yourself up to have someone come by your social event unexpectedly or burglarize your apartment. anyone who Googles you will see them.
and Z. the list goes on. they might deserve a second chance.. Ninety-eight percent of the time. you take it out of context.Kristin Cavallari’s Bitch Lessons She’s known for speaking her mind and putting people in their place (Lauren.” The Dilemma: Someone is spreading a nasty rumor about you. the girl doesn’t let anyone walk all over her and she always speaks her mind. Love her or hate her.. but if they’re willing to take responsibility and change. What Would KCav Do?: She says that lying is her biggest pet peeve and when she finds out someone is being untruthful about one thing. her first thought is. “Tell him that you heard X.” On the other hand. it’s his fault for not making . “Definitely have a conversation with the guy. you have to admit that one of the reasons Kristin Cavallari is so much fun to watch is that she can be a bit of a bitch. And we mean that in a good way.).” she says. I’d have to move on. ‘I heard from a few different people that you’ve been saying this. she says. you’re just adding fuel. Jayde. I actually think that by not confronting the person. So we got Kristin to spill when it pays to be a little bad. if he fesses up and apologizes. “If the girl doesn’t know he’s your boyfriend. What Would KCav Do?: She recommends keeping a cool head until you have the full story. according to Kristin. So we gave Kristin a few scenarios to see how she’d handle them. you should go with your gut. Read on for her bitchy little secrets. Unlike some of the other Hills castmembers.. Oh.’ They don’t need to know who.” The Dilemma: Some girl is talking to your boyfriend at a club.. He’s probably hiding other things too. (Kristin also spilled to us that she does just that in the first episode of the new season.” she suggests. “Just say. Audrina.) “Go right to the source. but don’t go snooping to find juice on the guy. “I don’t think you should ever read text messages or emails. What Would KCav Do?: “Go up to the person and confront them. The Dilemma: You find out the guy you’re hooking up with is secretly talking to his ex. Hint: it has to do with Stephanie and the drug rumors. Y. If he denies it and you know it’s true. because people eff up.” Kristin advises against involving others.
“You don’t need to say.” And One Time NOT to Be a Bitch The Dilemma: A guy is playing hot and cold with you. meaner budget. ‘You know. “This isn’t cool and we need to go.” In which case she says you should just tell your guy. We point out sneaky cash suckers and offer tips on stretching your hard-earned dollars. What Would KCav Do?: “What I love about my friends is that they’re brutally honest. since there’s probably a legit reason you’re not a fan. according to Kristin. IRS withholdings. You don’t need us to tell you that right now. Many people have money withheld from their paychecks in the hopes of getting a fat refund. “When a guy wants to see you. of course.” Little Things That Eat Up Your Paycheck If the joy of being flush with dough on payday seems more fleeting than ever. stop scratching your head. he’s just not into you. If you’ve had a word with her and she keeps going.” Kristin says it will only make you look crazy so it’s best just to get out of there— with your boyfriend. Dropping off your nice clothes at the cleaners can cost $5 or more per item…and that adds up. and consult this list of innocent little expenses that may be siphoning off your bottom line. Well. change your W4 filing—just ask your employer for a new form—so that you get as much money as possible up front. he makes time. But it’s hard to do that when you’re oblivious to where all your cash goes. What Would KCav Do?: “Just let it go. The Dilemma: You think your friend’s boyfriend is an a-hole. he’s not my favorite’. “tell her she’s talking to your man and that she needs to back off. it’s smart to function on a leaner. I’m a firm believer that if this is the case. where you’ll earn interest. Then discipline yourself to put that portion in the bank. ‘I hate him’. But doing that is like giving the government an interest-free loan.it clear.” she explains. But thanks to such products as Tide Total Care and . The great news: With a few tweaks here and there.” she says. Instead. but you can tell her. Dry cleaning.” If the other woman does know he’s attached and your guy is clearly uncomfortable. read on. don’t make a scene. And this is when you should say something. you can keep your wallet fatter for longer.
but you’ll also often pay significantly less (some are free!). As if trying to figure out what the hell you want to do with your life isn't hard enough. milk. you can get two rentals a month. they can save you beaucoup bucks too. Groceries. Gym memberships.. Catching up with friends over dinner is something no girl should have to give up. Belonging to a decent gym costs at least $50 a month— whether or not you use it. They’ve even gone high tech. Not only will you meet lots of new people and get to breathe fresh air. and can be found at your local drugstore.99 plan and get unlimited rentals. But you can enjoy the fun vibe of a restaurant without racking up a big bill by eating bar food instead of pricey entrées. such as Netflix. Which is exactly why TV anchor and financial reporter. this is a must-read. Or opt for the $8. talks about her life and enviable career in her new book. Keep your butt in tight shape by joining a running club. Maria Bartiromo. The Money Honey's Tips to Loving Your J-OB The co-host of CNBC's Closing Bell and award-winning journalist. They both cost under $15. etc. so you can skip flipping through the paper and just search clipngocoupons. you can give TLC to your finer duds while using your home washing machine and dryer. For anyone who's a little freaked about her future. Unless you’re pulling in a Jolie-Pitt–size salary. That’s $720 a year! Stretch your nail maintenance to every two to three weeks by picking only light-colored polishes—when they chip.Dryel. it’s a good idea to sign up with an online movie-rental company. Eating out.org for one in your area. Maria Bartiromo. It’s best to use them for staples you always need: eggs. which is about what it costs you to check out just one flick at your local movie store. The 10 Laws of Enduring Success. Manicures.. Movie rentals. bread. For $4. our gen has some seriously limited career options (thank you. decided to write a book about success now: . Coupons aren’t just for grandmas. will clean at least 16 garments. it’s not as noticeable. crappy economy). Let’s do some grooming math: Getting a mani once a week can add up to $60 a month.99. Check out rrca.com.
It never would have occurred to them to gripe about how hard they worked." Kitty gave me great advice: She told me to think about where I wanted to be in five years. I ended up turning down the promotion. not let others control it. My dad ran his own restaurant. I'm proud to get promoted.. Work Your Arse Off If you were to ask my parents what they thought the secret to success was. 2." I confided. but I think I will hate my new job. a few years later. "You made it. Read on for a few that have served Maria well on her own kick-ass career path. We live in a time of enormous change. But I know that I got to be where I am today thanks to the work ethic that I learned from my parents.. you're not chopping trees. In the early years of being on air. and hate it when I can't do something perfectly. But when a reporter from the New York Post gave me the nickname "Money Honey." instead of worrying that a moniker like that would make me look ridiculous. You're set. Now more than ever. I had a big crisis: I was told that I was getting a promotion. 3. and says. they would tell you that it's all about hard work. . Cut Yourself Some Slack I'm an overachiever." But I know that's not true. I decided I didn't need to take myself so seriously. or make an incorrect analysis. but I didn't think the new position was right for me. Own Your Destiny I started my career at CNN as an editor and producer for the business news segments. you have to constantly adapt. 4. People have said to me. and to really be successful. "I don't know what to do. It was a breakthrough for me — realizing that I could be human and relax about it. and in addition to her full-time job. have a hair out of place. and I loved it. What are you good at? How can you align your dreams with the areas in the economy that are actually producing jobs? It's critical to figure out what kind of training you may need to best position yourself for this economy. Maria. and to control my destiny. she believes that there are certain rules you must follow in order to get ahead." I have to laugh — no sympathy there! Her quip also reminds me how lucky I am. If I complain that my job is stressful. I was really upset.. I thought that I couldn't afford to make any mistakes. "Come on. you have to look within and assess your skill sets. gain a single pound. my mom also worked at the restaurant and raised a family. Be Open to Change Success is fleeting.Because during a rough patch like this. I worried a lot about the impression I gave. 1. and I've never regretted my decision. when Kitty Pilgrim (an anchor for CNN) walked in. I just laughed it off. "Kitty. The changes won't wait for you. so adapting will be key to success during this tumultuous time. my mother rolls her eyes. Then. crying my eyes out in the ladies room.
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