The „No

Holds Barred“ collection

SEX
FOR BEGINNERS
by (Mrs.) Jasmina Petrovic Illustrated by (Mr.) Dobrosav “Bob” Zivkovic

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Instead of an introduction .

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We formed a team of superlative lay persons or nonexperts (and added two aunts) who conducted a survey among youngsters aged eight to eighteen. I think sex is very interesting for every human being. entertain and tease you. stick to me and my advice. encourage. especially youngsters. If you want to learn as many things as possible about sex. Hello! I am aunt Marjorie. 7 . Hello! My name is aunt Bessie. If you want to enjoy sex and not do something stupid. I think sex is very important for every human being. but without mincing words.In a desire to reassure. and make sure they are accurate. we decided to write a book about sex. instruct. stick to me and my observations. especially youngsters.

WHAT IS YOUR FIRST THOUGHT WHEN YOU HEAR THE WORD SEX. Pamela Anderson (Dusan. A joke about little Perica (Nikola. Flower pot (Sonja. WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR INFORMATION ABOUT SEX? 4. 15) 4. Love (Jasmina. Just one each picked the so-and-so and not interested at all answers. We divided the replies to the second question. 17) Uninteresting answers: 1. into two groups. Cookies (Sasha. Darkness (Zorica. 11) 6. 10) 4. 17) 7. Excitement (Jovan. We shall therefore refrain from giving the other uninteresting answers lest you lose all interest in sex. Jelena (Marko. Kissing (Natasha. School trips (Sanja. WHAT IS YOUR FIRST THOUGHT WHEN YOU HEAR THE WORD SEX? 3. 10) Here… I opened my mouth! OBSERVATION: The younger respondents were both much cheekier and much less interested in sex than the older ones. Naked women (Aca. 18) 9. Open your mouth and I’ll tell you (Milica. VARIOUS. Asked ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SEX. Interesting answers: 1. Making out (Sinisa. 16) 10. WOULD YOU READ A BOOK ABOUT SEX? 5. aged 17) 2. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SEX? 2. 15) 6. Condom (Petar. 13) 5. 8 . 8) 2. no fewer than 98 out of 100 said they were very interested in sex. 16) 3. 9) 3. 9) 5.Respondents were asked the following five questions: 1. Screwing (Nikola. None of your business (Jovana. 15) 8.

Until my father takes it (over). What do parents know about sex. Yes. Every time they open their mouths – they lie. I know everything there is to know about the reproduction of ferns. I READ MEDICAL LITERATURE. Not since I’ve been ordered to pay the phone bill. They are even more embarrassed. I TALK TO FRIENDS. earthworms and slugs. Teachers know even less about sex than parents. Sends you right to sleep. every time my parents go to our cottage in the country – once in two months. I USE THE INTERNET.There were a number of different answers to the third question. I WATCH PORNO MOVIES. I WATCH SEX EDUCATION BROADCASTS ON CHILDREN’S TV. and I am bored. aunts are more important for offering support! 3 4 7 . They are embarrassed. and I’m even more bored. anyway? I TALK TO TEACHERS. who are so important for educating youngsters about sex? Actually. 3 4 7 8 2 8 5 6 1 I protest! Why weren’t there any questions about aunts. WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR INFORMATION ABOUT SEX? 1 2 I TALK TO MY PARENTS. 5 6 I READ PORNOGRAPHIC LITERATURE.

The main cause of all those major and sudden changes are invisible substances – hormones. VARIOUS (and probably never will). Given that not even experts know everything about hormones.Question number four – WOULD YOU READ A BOOK ABOUT SEX? – drew an overwhelming YES response – 99 out of a hundred said: “certainly”. They help children to become adults. Only one answered “I want to be a musician” (probably wasn’t being serious. “I can’t wait”. but also mysterious. They are female hormones (estrogen and progesterone) and male ones (testosterone). emotional. we have decided not to delve too deeply into that subject. dilemmas and follies of the authors and the people around them. EXPERT CONCLUSION OF THE SUPERLATIVE LAYPERSONS: Judging by the responses we received. Hormones affect a great many processes in the brain. “wouldn’t you?”. if there are pictures”. the small grows into the large. Sexual hormones control the development of physical sexual characteristics (menstruation. IN CONFIDENCE: We still haven’t managed to classify the replies under number five. “I’ll buy two. and of course sexual. interesting subjects become boring and unimportant ones very important. the humblest layman (let alone an expert) can conclude that young people find sex very attractive and important. – “yes. All manner of changes take place in this period: physical. Begins at eleven (maybe earlier) and ends at 17 (maybe later). so that we began writing our book right away. social. Almost overnight. But their industrious and constant activity places people who are in puberty face to face with a number of questions: Puberty or adolescence . one for me and one for my best friend”. but they also affect the mind. released by certain glands in the body. mental. so we chucked out his reply). We based our text and illustrations on: amateur research and professional knowledge. but most of all the misconceptions. PUBERTY CHILDHOOD – a process during which a child becomes an adult. the production of egg-cells and sperm…).

. . . . foreplay. . . . . . . . . incest. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . love. . . . . . . . . . . . infatuation. . . . . . urologist. . . . . . . . . . . 73 (pleasure. . . . . . telephones. breaking up. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96 (parents chose your wife/husband. . . . shyness. . . . . . . . . 89 (swearing and bad language. . . . . . gynecologist. . . . . . . self-gratification. oral sex. . no sex before marriage. . pedophilia) About sex (Part III) Is it good or bad? . . . anal sex. . . . . . . . rape. . . . . . . . . soft and hard-core pornography. . . . 41 (flirting. . . . . . virginity. . . . . . . . voyeurism. . . . . . . caressing) Sex (Part II) Why is sex interesting? . 15 What do males and females have in common? . . . boredom complexes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . school. . . . . . . . . the computer in the service of sex. . . . . . . . 77 (hygiene. . . . contraception. . . . . . . . . . . fantasizing in the service of sex. orgasm. . . . . . . . . . . . breast size. body hair. . . . . . . . say “yes”. . menstruation. . . . . . . . . . . . . . dates. . . . . . . . 18 (parents. . sex) What is the difference between males and females? . procreation. . . . . . . . . AIDS. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59 (petting. jealousy. . . psychologist) What are the dark sides of sex? . . . sexual violence. . 82 (abortion. . . . . . . . . . . . . sexually-transmitted diseases. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . muscles. . 66 (erogenous zones. . . . . . . . height. . . . pregnancy. . . . . . . . . . . . wet dreams. . .Before sex (Two tests) Contents (Part I) Am I normal? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . conflicts. acne. kissing. . . . . . . . group sex) Talking about sex . . . . . . . . . . . 93 (ancient and contemporary sexual mythology) Sex through history . . . . . . . . 28 (manner of thinking. . . . family) What else should I learn? . . . . . . . . . . . . prostitution. . . say “no”) Why is sex mysterious? . . . . . . . . . lesbianism) Why is sex beneficial? . voice. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . homosexuality. . . . sexual organs) Whatever is happening to me? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . exhibitionism. . . . positions. . the chastity belt) Before we part . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . sexual relations. . . . . . . . . . . . . . weight. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98 (Test your knowledge) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Part I Before sex .

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The same will happen as you notice that day by day you become more and more different from your peers in regard to your looks. If one moment you feel like a child. What else is there to do but get even more confused and unsettled? Will my parents love me the way I am? Will anyone ever love me? Am I becoming a freak? Is there any way to stop this? Is there any way to speed this up? AM I TRULY A NORMAL PERSON? There are many ways to reach the answer. but can also cause a lot of fatigue. Those around us only add to this adolescent mishmash by their comments and advice.Am I normal? Am I a normal person? – a question which is the biggest burden to youngsters in puberty or those facing it. thinking. while the third will just take a deep breath and continue writing and drawing. sometimes gradually. The unsteadiness. Usually by leaps and bounds. The former will heave a sign of relief as soon as they realise that the problem is not in them but in hormones. and here we offer the simplest – take the following test! 15 . as well as the authors of this book. diversity and the leaps may be interesting. it would be quite normal to think you weren’t normal. interests. yet within just half an hour you reason and behave like an adult. tastes… Everyone grows up in a different manner and at a different pace. feelings.

. . . . No . . . . . . . . No . . . . . Does everything bore you? . . . . . . No . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1. . . Do you have a need to take tests like this one? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Yes 10. 3. . Add up the totals and read the conclusions. . . . . . . . . . 2. Yes Do you collect pictures of naked women (if you’re a boy) . . . . . Yes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Yes Do you often daydream? . . . . No . . . . . Yes 8. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Yes 9. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . No CONCLUSIONS: If more than half of your answers are YES . . 5. . . . No . . . Yes 7. . . . . . YOU ARE A NORMAL PERSON Marjorie. . . . . . . . . . . . . 4. Yes 6. . . . Do you often look at yourself in a mirror? . . . . Do you have frequent mood swings? . . . Yes Do you listen to loud music? . . . . . . . are you normal? None of your business! . . YOU ARE A NORMAL PERSON If more than half of your answers are NO . . . No . Do you quarrel with family members . . Does everyone (especially those younger than you) bore you? . . . . . . . . . . .Test No. . . . . . . . . . . . . . No . . . . . . . 1 DIRECTIONS: Read each question carefully and answer it only after thinking carefully. . . . . . Circle only one of the two answers on offer – YES or NO. . . . . Yes Do you collect pictures of show-business stars (if you’re a girl)? . . . . . . . . Yes Do you hate studying? . . . . . No . . . . . No . . . . . . . . . . No .

. . . . . . . Yes . right? . . . here is another TEST: Yoopie! Another test 1. Yes . . . . . . . . 5. . – 4 or 3 YES answers – you are outside puberty. . No Do you have acne? . . . . so please sit down and write your own book. . . . – 8 or 7 YES answers – you are facing puberty and should also continue reading this book. . Yes . . No Do you have the impression that your arms are longer and your legs shorter than they should be? . and should also continue reading this book (but at your own responsibility). Yes . . . . . . . . No Are your breasts growing? (if you’re a girl) . . . . . . . . . No Is your sexual organ growing? (if you’re a boy) . . . . . 7. of course). . but you’re afraid to admit it. . 10. . . . . 9. . . . . . . . . . . and out of love even more often? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . No Have your periods started? (if you’re a girl) . . Yes . . . . No Sex interests you a lot. . . . . . . . Yes . . 3. . . . . . . . . No 10-9 YES 8-7 YES 6-5 YES 4-3 YES 2-0 YES CONCLUSIONS: If you had: – 10 or 9 YES answers – you are in puberty and should continue reading this book. . . Yes . . . . . . . . . . No Has hair begun to grow on your body? . . . . . . . . . Yes . . . (and all other subjects. and you should also continue reading this book. . . No No one understands you and no one loves you. 6. . . . . . . 8. . . 2. Yes . . . . . . No Does everyone else have a better life than you do? . 17 . . . . . . . Yes . . Yes . No Is your voice deeper? (If you’re a boy) . . . 4. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dou you spend a lot of time locked in the bathroom? . . . . . . Yes . . No Do you often fall in love. . .For all those who love these tests but are still uncertain whether this book is for them. – 6 or 5 YES answers – you are a person who never left puberty. – 2 to no YES answers – you KNOW EVERYTHING BEST ABOUT SEX. .

. parents: a) ban everything kids love to do – You are not going on the end-of-year school trip! – You better be home by ten o’clock! – Don’t ever let me see you again with that boy with the ear-ring! – Get off the phone! – Stop playing those video games! – Turn down that awful music! b) order you to do everything you hate – – – – – – Tidy up your room! Sit down and do your lessons! Get to bed this minute! Apologise to your father! Take out the trash! Come down and say hello to your aunt! c) ask all the wrong questions – – – – – – I want to know who was at the party! You didn’t join them in it. when far away. they’re a bore and a burden.. However far away they might be. kids miss them. 18 . it’s won! PASSIVE It’ll all pass.What do males and females have in common? Parents – when near at hand. did you? Where have you been all day? Who were you talking to? How was the maths test? Own up and you won’t be punished! ADVICE: ACTIVE Freedom isn’t grant.

. without fear and shame 6.If you don’t mind. You are the most important models for them both in life and in sex. Help them to draw positive conclusions from their failures 10. Teach them self-respect 7. I don’t know what to do. AIDS. She won’t tell me anything and I no longer have any influence on her. Never ridicule their actions and Love them. alcohol and drugs 2. Teach them to assume responsibility for their actions and their choices 8. and give them 4. fears… 5. Teach them to understand their sexual needs. I am quite beside myself. I am afraid he might trick her into having sex with her. Alcohol. Help them to comprehend influence their peers exert in regard to sex 9. Get as much information as possible about sex. a problematic boy who is quite a lot older than she is. She eats poorly and is hardly ever at home. Urge your children to talk freely on those subjects 3. I don’t know what I did wrong…” For this mum and for all other parents: 10 BITS OF ADVICE FROM AUNT MARJORIE: 1. Every day we get heaps of letters like this one: “Her school marks and studying have been slipping lately. Help them to come face to face with a generous allowance! their emotions. spending all day with her friends. She now has a boyfriend. help them to become suppress their questions independent. dilemmas. drugs and AIDS I don’t even dare think about. I’d like to add something on the subject of parents and children. trust them.

don’t worry. negative. ATTENTION: If we have succeeded in scaring you. we’ll do it later. school plays a very important role. breaks. kisses. supplementary classes. As far as sex is concerned. as it is an excellent hotbed of both great love sagas and soap operas. excursions and above everything else end-of-year trips offer excellent opportunities for an exchange of looks. School is an institution that provokes terror. where the approach to sex is more liberal than anywhere else. declarations. If we haven’t. Lessons. cuffs… Let us also not forget the lavatory walls. just read on! 20 . dangerous and perverted elements (maniacs and pedophiles) may appear in or around schools (see pages 84 and 85). nausea and boredom for as long as it lasts. and ATTENTION: Undesirable. notes. emptiness and fond memories once it’s over.sadness. that’s what we intended to do.

Organise lectures. sexuality. debates. of course! .Dear teachers. Urge schoolchildren to get as much information about these subjects as possible 3. Try and achieve a relaxed atmosphere in class conducive to an open debate on love. personal relations… 4. AIDS. Get as much information as possible about sex. school psychologists and pedagogues only 5 BITS OF ADVICE FROM AUNT MARJORIE 1. Inform parents who can help them and how they can be helped to instruct their children about sexuality. school psychologists and pedagogues! Your attention. alcohol and drugs 2. but I assure you that whatever you can do to this end will both mean a lot both to individuals and contribute to a healthier atmosphere in school. the attitude towards one’s own body. One more thing! Smile. be happy and be sexy. please! We know you are overloaded with every-day obligations and have no great desire to talk about sex with children and their parents. workshops… on sex 5. For teachers.

both with adults and with their peers (let alone those who are younger than they are). Conflicts arise between persons of the same or different sexes. members of the immediate and extended family. peers. selfishness. poor hearing. a war… Conflicts are usually the result of recklessness. between two or more persons. The oldest historical reports about this date from the times of the ancient (at that time young) Greeks. adults and children. a scrap without a row. a scrap with a row. rows have taken place every day.have existed for as long as humankind. twists and turns. misunderstandings. neighbours. 22 . friends. egocentricity. fear. a row with a scrap. gender differences… Conflicts On the road to independence and self-reliance. enemies… They can take place in the following forms: provocation. age differences. lovers. a non-violent row. For centuries. various unpleasant situations. break-ups. all children go through a number of conflicts. The conflict is always the same – it’s only the garb and scenery that change. shame.

guilty. Try and understand both yourself. it is you yourself it affects the most… 23 . all the others are easier. 3. Poking savage fun at others will not ease your own troubles.Shyness and embarrassment are They manifest themselves in two ways: divided equally among males and females. because you are growing up. queasiness in the head. your peers and the changes you see in them. excessive physical and mental activity. Keep in mind that everyone grows up in his or her own way. One – reticence. Talk about something else. a pale face. which is no bad thing. a red face. 2. try and think as little as possible about your shyness and the changes it causes to you. For example. Regardless of everything and everyone. Two – verbosity. you will become a truly equal partner in debate with your parents. but once you pass over the first wave. A second wave of shyness appears only very rarely. Here is what two unnamed kids in puberty told us about shyness: FIRST ANONYMOUS PERSON: I get even shyer when others notice that I am shy! SECOND ANONYMOUS PERSON: I am embarrassed of the fact that I am changing constantly and becoming someone else. You are changing – so what! Don’t be scared of changes. Be patient! Don’t judge yourself too harshly! Accept your new face. They will open new doors for you and bring you new joys. physical and mental stiffness. ask them how they deal with theirs. and that every one of those ways is the right way! Here is some practical advice how you can help yourself fight shyness: 1. your new thinking. Talk to others about your shyness. your changed body. Very often those around you will not even notice your shyness. Don’t let yourself feel embarrassed or even worse. It is difficult and unpleasant. The heat and blushing cannot be suppressed by power of will – you just have to wait until they go away on their own. queasiness in the belly. Wait out the process together and be patient. Try to deal with all jibes and unpleasant comments bravely and carry on. Do not run away from shyness and do not try to conceal it! 4.

What about shyness in sex? The closer you are to your loved one. clothes. your loved one will reveal to you many other wonderful sides of your person and personality. you should try and focus your thoughts on your good sides and away from what you don’t like about yourself. the FIRST ANONYMOUS PERSON replied: 24 Boredom – This section was expunged – it was too boring! (Editor) . I am ashamed of taking off all my clothes. the less shy you will be! In the initial stages of your relationship. 3. I am ashamed of my total inexperience. 2. I am embarrassed when the light is on. I am ashamed of taking off all my 2. Asked What are you ashamed of. 3. In time. I am embarrassed when the light is on. That is what loved ones are for – so they can see how wonderful we really are! Here are the replies of the SECOND ANONYMOUS PERSON to the same question: 1. I am ashamed of my total inexperience. 1. Do not burden yourself or others with your complexes.

They always know everything best and are never to blame for anything. but also arrogant. Invited only to those parties where everyone else is invited. Can be recognised by the can of ash they keep at hand – as soon as someone begins to praise them. Be kind will show you your strong and your weak points. the leg of the turkey. PERSONS WHO SUFFER FROM SUPERIORITY COMPLEXES – see no equal for themselves and hence think they are entitled to all that is best. look at the ground and nervously pluck wool out of their sweaters. concretely. the most attractive person of the opposite sex in their group. don’t greet them in the street.Complex are a very complex matter. asking yourself what kind of person you are is “mats” to stand on. but How fast was as in the match? How good is my ballet coordination? also that you don’t trample Do I have the proper feeling for rhythm? etc. An analysis of this on others. as they simply represent our vulnerabilities and our sensitive spots. If you really want to others. slam doors in their face. If not subject to adoration. either. NOTE: “Pure” types seldom appear in real life. nicest and biggest: the front seat in the car. then do it properly. They function only when surrounded by an audience. not too bad.” funny: “nothing special”.” popular: “more or less. They are one of the indicators of the way we see ourselves. ATTENTION: Complexes can complicate your life considerably. of course)… Whatever they don’t like they reject with loathing. the same person can feel almost worthless and depressed. stammer. Make sure you not appropriate. They always suffer the same troubles: others take their chair.” clothes: “well. Within a single day. The real questions should be: How good am I in sports? aren’t abused by anyone. they begin to heap ash on their heads in an effort to lessen their value and importance. They aren’t ugly. PERSONS WHO SUFFER FROM INFERIORITY COMPLEXES – always see themselves as not good enough for anything or anyone. For example. Patiently. at least they are always subject to gossip. but cannot be called attractive. talk rubbish (and then worry about it)… When people are talking about sex.. as that is where the real assess yourself. slowly. It isn’t so important what others think about us. When on their own. PERSONS FROM SUFFER FROM MEDIOCRITY COMPLEXES – wallow in averageness. Answer questions mostly by shrugging. not very popular dates. Speak neither ill nor good of others. the admiration of their circle (and their flattery. Some people need generalising. they blush. They attract a lot of attention with their striking looks and behaviour. that need not be so tomorrow. Favourite day of the week: Wednesday. In the presence of persons of the opposite sex. Intelligent: “soso.. mediocrity and superiority complexes. not by confusion starts. take away their boy/girl-friends. what are our fears… There are inferiority. It’s more important what Make sure you don’t cross your problems and complexes with those of we think about ourselves! It’s also important to discern between our own opinions about ourselves and those of others. they trip and fall. “Golden mean” and “Don’t make waves” are their favourite sayings. and what independent and free. they turn into type 1 or type 2. you should work on… If you’re not very good at something Be your own! today. what we think others think about us. 25 .

but when you were fifteen. before your first date or public appearance… Appears mainly on your face.too!! DAD’S ADVICE: It’s time you became a man!! GRANDPA’S ADVICE: Go and get a haircut. chest and back. it all comes from greasy hair! SISTER’S ADVICE: Put a paper bag on your head! GRANNY’S ADVICE: Eat more fruit and vegetables! Don’t worry.– The most repulsive and horrible bit of spite from the sebaceous glands. you went to your doctor and demanded a full skin transplant! The doctor sent you home with the following comment: “I don’t have any in your size at the moment. Its victims are innocent. so is there any problem with me now? Of course not. come back tomorrow!” . helpless and juvenile. Acne E: MUM’S ADVICface touch you Don’t s! with dirty hand ND’S (GIRL) FRIE can’t see u COMMENT: Yo all! them at DOCTOR’S ADVICE: Buy appropriate creams in a pharmacy or come in a pharmacy or come to my office! OUR ADVICE: Spend as much time as possible outdoors and refrain from looking at yourself in the mirror for a couple of years! BEAUTICIAN’S ADVICE: Wash you face with lukewarm water and mild soap once ortwice a day! (BOY) FRIEND’S ADVICE: She’s got it. Acne usually appear at the worst possible moment – on the eve of your birthday. I also had acne once.

That is why it is very important to respect the sexuality of others. it should not be condemned. each in his or her own way. health and developing one’s own sexuality..a word which has always provoked sniggers. sneers. If sex does no harm to anyone. There’s never enough said about it. films shot and famous pictures painted. but we all express them differently. but for developing sexuality. Sex is natural and normal. All people have sexual feelings. but also knowing. This book is not intended as a guide for making love. smiles and guffaws by the young and the old. Sex – But we must make something completely clear. We are all responsible for our own actions and their consequences 27 . And everything we do in sex with the consent of our partners is OK. men and women. Many books have been written about sex. This means: selfanalysis. making decisions. self-respect. understanding and tolerating others. jeers. Sexuality is an integral part of personality.

What is the difference between males and females? Way of thinking – to another. while a person of the male sex usually has an erotic approach when thinking about the fair sex. With the passage of time. but a few years later the opposite becomes true. b)medium-sized and c) tall. Somebody's height 28 NOTE: The exception proves the rule! . Before puberty. she usually has romantic thoughts. And vice versa. but it can also grow. Regardless of where they belong. can depend on the following: genetics and heel size. not only different between men and women. We differentiate among three categories: a) short. but also from one person Girls usually have the following thoughts: HOW DO I APPROACH HIM? WHERE WILL I GO OUT TONIGHT? WHAT SHOULD I WEAR? WHY – aren’t my breasts bigger? – isn’t my waist slimmer? – don’t I have more money? – don’t I have an older and smarter sister…? Boys usually have the following thoughts: HOW DO I APPROACH HER? WHERE WILL I GO OUT TONIGHT? WHY – isn’t my penis bigger? – isn’t my nose smaller? – isn’t my pocket-money bigger? – don’t I have an older and smarter brother…? OBSERVATION: When a person of the female sex thinks about a person of the opposite sex. their frustration may disappear. kids in puberty are usually dissatisfied with their height. girls are usually taller than boys.

29 . Paddle-sized feet ensure good footing. PRACTICE HAS SHOWN: hat size is no guarantee for matureness and sanity. Used for skeleton and anatomy research.EXAMPLE: LONG LEGGED CHAPS – are tall. Heavy as a horse Skinny as a herring. Light as a wren. Often play basketball and win awards and sympathies of sports fans and persons of the opposite sex. Fat as a pig Skinny as a mosquito. bony and often toothy. let alone sexual Body weight – performance! is measured in pounds/kilogrammes and animals: Heavy as an elephant. skinny.

Would be happy to shed pounds. it is even a matter of prestige – the slimmer the better. they suffer. but in reality they are with the others. famous and rich men. Talk loudly and laugh even more loudly. The others gain their popularity later on in life. tobacco. Among girls. One of the differences between boys and girls is in their body weight. but not bad habits. Boys are heavier. Love to poke fun at and comment on others and dispense (unwanted) advice. sharing secrets. muscular. Know everything there is to know about sex. RECOMMENDED: Being with others. Favourite hobby: idleness. In their imagination they are always with handsome. DEFINTELY NOT RECOMMENDED: Lifting off the floor. after they eat. porno movies and dirty jokes. they eat. When they are suffering. although they often don’t have girlfriends. often in the kitchen. FAT GIRLS – constantly dieting.Body weight is very important in puberty. NOTE: Long live the exceptions! EXEPTION: EXAMPLE: FAT GUYS–love food. 30 .

Detests blondes. important for accomplishing certain objectives taking someone’s ball. a prominent mole. trainers or EXEPTION: TOMBOY – Enjoys a beer with the lads after the match. The smaller the shortcoming. especially in this age group. the bigger the worry and the more difficult it is to solve the problem. Puts on a dress for the first time at her best mate’s wedding. swears. bony knees. But how is that connected with sex? 31 . spits. I know of many different examples: countless sleepless nights spent worrying over an excessively long second toe. A number of changes happen to the body in puberty as a direct effect of maturing and growing up. Does not need a boyfriend. Where is the sex here? The whole thing is being watered down… On the contrary.Physical strenght is verygirlfriend. but not –always. as she opens the door for herself. Speaks in a loud voice. holds her own chair and her own coat. Usually prevalent among men. of course. too many freckles. That is why this section is so important and should be read carefully. Spends all her money on parts for her motor bike. too many or two few curls and so on. too short eye-lashes. it’s getting more and more complicated. smokes and goes around with a toothpick sticking out of her teeth. Kids’ appearance is very important for their sexuality. All these things also affect the mind. Finds it easier to talk about fishing than make-up. We must therefore not fail to mention the hours and days spent worrying over one’s appearance.

also a person a second – adolescent males are the owners of two voices – a squeaky boy’s vice and a deeper men’s voice. screeching. chests and backs. all the worry over physical appearance wanes and disappears. take part in sports. This voice change is perceived by the individual as a double betrayal: by himself and by others. especially in puberty. This process makes them very unhappy. armpits and genital areas. legs. The body and sex are very close. have fun! Voicebutvariesinnotsinglebetweeningirlssingle – only and boys. The alternating squeaking. arms. but what’s that compared with eternity! much more than women. and usually bald. Only the palms of their hands and their soles are hairless. Except for the tops of their heads. men can grow hair in other areas – their faces. some men have less and less hair on the top of their heads. 32 . Until that happens. BEFORE Body hair – (most) men have AFTER PHENOMENON: As the years pass. necks. Do your lessons. leaving only sweet memories. don’t let it worry you. CONSOLATION: The voice change takes a year or two. With the passage of time.Quite obviously. droning and humming sends others into paroxysms of laughter.

The more he desires them. When taunted. large. but it only looks that way. dense or sparse… Besides protecting the genitals. pubic hair EXEPTION No. Usually a blond. 2: BABY FACE – a male with a shortage of body hair. CONSOLATION: Robin Hood was also hairless before puberty! HAIRY LADY – a person of the fair sex with excess body hair. seldom a blonde. carroty. and hair around the genitals pubic hair. Saves a considerable amount of pocket-money by avoiding waxes. dark. seldom darkhaired.Facial hair is called moustache and beard. Robin Hood Maid Marian . pubic hair attracts persons of the opposite sex like a magnet. Always dark. acts disinterested. the slower they grow. Turns a blind eye to taunts. blonde. 1: EXEPTION No. Pubic hair in women is triangular in shape and one of the following: small. as she believes the laws of nature have to be respected.

depending on the brassiere cup size.your friends will take jibes at you. three. they won’t suit you! RULE No. because whatever we said you wouldn’t listen. RULE No. five. 34 . four. Breast size Four fundamental rules about breasts: RULE No. * In which case we won’t even try to convince you that it’s just a transitional stage in your development. 4: Full speed ahead! Stand up straight and push out your chest. Breasts are a wonderful ornament on your body (except if you’re male*). 1: Whatever their size.adults will tell you tostraighten your back! RULE No. two. 2: Whatever their size. you’ll be stronger. whatever your bosom size. 3: However you bear yourself. more secure and more manly. So fight it out on your own – once you’ve passed through all that chaos. Pamela….– varies widely from person to person – it can be a one.

If ready to poke fun at herself. hunches her back and wears her dad’s XXXL shirts and sweaters. REMARK: The real purpose of breasts is feeding infants. as it is intimately connected with pregnancy! But also with sexual relations. 2: PAMELA – Named after the star of Baywatch.. whose only curves are her heels. . wears tight-fitting low-cut tee-shirts. he will love your breasts. If ready to poke fun at herself. 1: EXAMPLE No. Never wears dresses with low necklines. If ashamed of her chest. NOTE: If your loved one really loves you. and you will enjoy being looked at and caressed. If proud of her breasts.EXAMPLE No. TITLESS WONDER – a flat-chested woman. whatever their size. often with logos like KISS ME. especially among men. He will enjoy looking at them and caressing them. attains a great deal of popularity in her circle. especially among men. attains a great deal of popularity in her circle. but more about that later! I would like to caution persons of the male sex not to skip over the next chapter – men and women both need to be informed about menstruation.

best move to another planet for a while until your friends forget the incident. mood changes and irritation immediately before and during their periods. The first menstruation takes place in puberty. taking place mid-way along the menstrual cycle). Usually lasts from three to seven days. vertigo. 1: If you get your period and lack suitable protection. and the last in the menopause*. can sometimes be a wonderful excuse (for skipping PE. whether they exist or not. Menstruation ATTENTION: Menstrual pains. The egg-cell reaches the uterus (womb) through one of the two Fallopian tubes. without exception. Restricted to women. time of the month. in cycles of between 28 and 32 days. and menopause that in which a woman becomes a “lady in the prime of her life”. household chores etc. The menstrual cycle is controlled by hormones. * Puberty is the stage in which a girl becomes a woman.. If an egg-cell comes in contact with a sperm in the tube and is fertilised.). UNDESIRABLE EFFECT No. which means that the woman is pregnant and her periods stop (see page 74). THEORY: Menstruation takes place as a result of the discharge of an egg-cell from one of the two ovaries (a process called ovulation. In that case. If that does not happen. It happens monthly. Some women suffer from stomach pains. the unfertilised egg-cell will be ejected from the uterus. it will remain in the uterus. 36 . periods – a monthly bleed from the uterus. you may stain your clothes. in the form of blood – that is menstruation. together with its lining.

All jokes aside. The first thing you can do is go to the nearest lavatory and put a sanitary towel or paper towel into your panties. the best help will come from an expert. you must try and get yourself together. but first of all to your mother… …or your aunt! Missing your period need not automatically mean pregnancy. They are changed every three to four hours. Panicking will only make it worse. Both towels and tampons have their good and bad sides. drink more liquid and take particular care of your personal hygiene. Sexual relations are not prohibited. Please avoid exertion during your cycles. change and put in a new napkin. while you’re sleeping. The first might start without any warning – in a cinema. either. ADVICE: Sanitary towels and tampons are used for soaking up menstrual blood. you must talk to an advisor. Both the onset and duration of menstruation in puberty are usually very irregular. Whatever the cause. It would be a good idea to keep a record of your cycles and expected dates – in that way you will avoid unpleasant surprises and unplanned moves to another planet… UNDESIRABLE EFFECT No. Then slowly make your way home. this is a very serious subject. 2: If you miss your period. The appearance of blood between a girl’s legs could easily alarm her. You will have to decide on your own which ones to choose. And don’t fall for that old story that you can’t get pregnant if you’re having your period. a gynecologist. Your first period is a sign that you body has begun preparing for one of its most important functions – pregnancy. but aren’t advised. they’ll be pleased. have a shower. Towels are for external use and tampons for internal use (they should be inserted into the vagina). However horrible it might appear. smaller ones for teenagers and bigger ones for older women. Tampons are made in two sizes. YOU CAN!!! . during school. You may then inform your family – you’ll see. At that age diverse hormonal and other problems are possible. especially is she is unprepared.

and you also have time on your hands. for example. take a ruler and get to work. TABLE Date Exact time of measurement Pre-erection lenght Lenght during erection Post-erection lenght 38 . we can conclude that there is really more to see in a man. talk to girls and ask them what they think about the length of a man’s penis. Haven’t you heard the saying: “It’s the singer. but bigger ones can even intimidate them. Whatever you look at from above always looks smaller. for example.The Penis Finally something concrete! I was getting scared we would lose even our most – Comparing male and female avid readers! sexual organs. You should know that! If you don’t. but not like his! His is longer! But if yours is shorter. it YOURS doesn’t mean it’s less valuable. to look at you penis from the side. Sometimes penises roughly equal in size when limp assume quite different dimensions when erect. It is important to understand that the size of a sexual organ in no way determines sexual potency or virility. Women not only don’t care for size. But if your obsession with size is too strong. Take you. You’ll be quite surprised when you hear what ALL OTHERS they say. RECOMMENDATION: Change the point of view! Try. We guarantee that your mood will improve considerably. depending on the particular erection. Longer doesn’t mean better. in a mirror. Yours certainly has grown. not the song!!” INFORMATION: Sexual organs vary in size. The same penis can also be different in size.

An important part of the female sex organ is the clitoris. About the size of a pea. sausage… The female sex organ is the vagina. males are usually also worried by their penises being bent to the left or the right while erect. oaths. dirty jokes and quarrels. Women’s sexual organs can vary in width. fanny. volume. IMPORTANT NOTE: The actual appearance of the sexual organ is far less important than its function – the exchange of sexual pleasure.Apart from size. . especially in curses. It is full of nerve endings and represents the chief female erogenous zone (see page 66). willie. talk to a urologist (see page 81). external and upper part of the vagina. The scientific name of the male sex organ is penis. but we also call it pecker. Women also spend a lot of time looking at their sexual organs and thinking about them. beaver… All the other names are easy to find in the everyday language of the people around us. If you are not calmed by our assurance that most men have bent willies and that this is no hindrance to sexual relations. moistness and positioning. the clitoris is located on the frontal. and its purpose is satisfying the sexual instinct. but still far less than men. todger. also known as pussy.

Women have two ovaries containing egg-cells. They are so sensitive that even the thought or hurting them causes pain. it becomes upright and hard. while as far as sperm is concerned. During sexual intercourse it receives the penis. The vagina is the female sex organ linking the uterus and external exit of the vagina. which contains the testicles.The penis is the male sexual organ. Its length is seven to ten centimetres. or orgasm. Sperm is a fluid ejected during sexual stimulation. ovaries uterus vagina . Urine you have known for some time. They produce the sperm. There are two testicles. The ovaries secrete hormones (Estrogen and Progesterone) which are testicles of importance for the development of babies. Babies develop inside a uterus. Below the penis is an appendage penis called a scrotum. as do babies in childbirth. or labia. you will soon. while menstrual blood passes through it. Once a penis is vessel stimulated sexually. Its external opening is flanked by two pairs of lips. one usually lower down than the other. which is an exit for urine and sperm. if you haven’t met it yet. It is very flexible. a muscular organ which is Just as flexible as the vagina. and will call this an erection.

Most of the time they daydream and spend time on the phone. winking. Experts say the same rituals are used by baboons and gorillas. Infatuation 41 . Flirting or courting Flirting can be a one-time event. Their movements are exaggerated and they use every possible opportunity to touch their partner’s arm or leg. look right through you and hear nothing of what you’ve said. depending on whether their infatuation is less or more serious. don’t eat and don’t sleep. disorientation. smiling and sniggering. blushing… During the flirting stage. there are also those who think flirting is a waste of time and energy. Of course.Whatever is happening to me? – blinking. Infatuated persons don’t do their schoolwork. Persons suffering from superiority complexes (see page 25) find it very useful. Men. – a state of intoxication. on the other hand. An infatuated person can be easily recognised by their partial or total absent-mindedness. the fair sex also cross their legs. You talk to them and they just smile foolishly. ecstasy. Persons suffering from jealousy (see page 46) identify flirting with sexual relations and treat it as a major threat. Infatuation does not last long – it turns into love (sometimes) or just disappears (most of the time). the start of a serious relationship or the start of a frivolous relationship. thrust out their chests and straighten their backs to show their might and their size. tip their heads and pick at nonexistent crumbs on their partner’s sweater.

Katja 42 . Next time I’ll certainly talk to him. I am so happy I cannot find words to describe it. She urged me to go and talk to him. but I didn’t have the courage. Yours.Manifestation of Infatuation A PAGE OUT OF A DIARY Dear Diary. the old man living on the ground floor yelled at him because he had spat on his window. I can’t wait to see him again. Just as I was going to approach him. They quarreled for a while and then went their own ways. I was standing on the sidewalk with Tijana. and I think he also saw me. I saw him today. and leaning on a car. He was spitting and talking to a pal. You have no idea how cute he is! He was wearing a super jacket and trainers.

Manifestation of Non-infatuation
A PAGE OUT OF A DIARY

Dear Diary, I didn’t talk to him. What a geek – dressed as he was, who would? He’s also cut his hair and looks awful. However, Mira visited me last night with her classmate. You have no idea how cute he is. He’s pierced his tongue and wears a ring through it. He gave me his telephone number. I think I’ll call him tomorrow. I can’t wait to hear his voice again. Yours, Katja

43

Love – an exalted feeling driving lovedtoone as wellonlytowards the wholeand benevolent and one perform positive actions charitable deeds, towards his or her as world. You can feel
love for a child, a parent, husband or wife, significant other, neighbour, motherland… Once upon a time, wars were fought, crowns relinquished and great works of art created for love. What about today?
Love is a very complex feeling which is very difficult to Many people try to solve the problem define. Some people think love is restricted to romantic of loneliness by entering into sexual emotions. Others identify love with sexual desire and relations, but this is just a stop-gap attraction. Some say sexual relations must never take place solution. Erich Fromm says in my without love, while others say that it is only through sexual favourite book, The Art of Love, that relations that we can discover the true extent of our “Only love can help is overcome our feelings for our partner. These approaches are all feelings of loneliness yet retain our intertwined, yet none can be said to be completely true. personal integrity fully. Only when in Some people decide to make love with each other, without love do two beings become one yet actually being in love. It’s a personal choice. The things which remain each one’s own. Love is being are permissible in sex are all those to which both partners active, not passive…” consent and which don’t contravene one’s personal codes. You shouldn’t do anything which is against your personal standards! If someone tries to convince you that the only way you can prove your love is through sex, you should know that that person is trying to take advantage of you and doesn’t love you.

44

Love can sometimes be hard to understand even for adults, let alone kids. Just imagine how many love troubles are encountered by someone in puberty! If we ever manage to compile a list of love problems, we’d be more than happy to publish it (if we don’t find anything better to do)…

– the final phase of some relationships (erotic rather than commercial, parental or neighbourly). Some people see breaking up as a great tragedy, others as a big joke. It usually takes place at the end of an infatuation or the start of a new one. Manifestations of separation are: crying and wailing, yelling, hair-tearing, cuffing and punching and the issue of various threats. Ditched or dumped are the customary phrases. The break-up of a married couple, which we call divorce, usually contains even more intensive manifestations of all of the above. NOTE:

Breaking up

Before separating, you usually have to get together!

Appropriate TEST
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. You can’t stand the sight of him/her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES You feel like throwing up when near him/her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES The very thought of kissing him/her brings on a yawn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES You never invite her/him to accompany you at parties . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES You always avoid him/her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES Any dream of him/her bring on a jinx lasting a whole month . . . . . . . . . YES You use every opportunity to rubbish her/him . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES When he/she talks to you, you ignore him/her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES You refuse to enter the lift together with him/her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES You pray her/his family moves as far away as possible . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . YES . . NO . . NO . . NO . . NO . . NO . . NO . . NO . . NO . . NO . . NO

If you have five or more NOs, YOU’RE JUST ABOUT TO BREAK UP

If you have five YES answers and five NOs, the SEPARATION IS UNDER WAY

If you have more than five YES answers, YOU’VE ALREADY BROKEN UP, HE/SHE JUST DOEN’T KNOW IT YET…

45

The first thing I did was stop comparing myself with others. For reasons of security. spending most of their time at home. and Fido here is also immune to it. and 2) reacting in private and taking their own sweet time. Jealous people exhibit their jealousy in two ways: 1) reacting violently and in public. I tried to mind my own business and to be as successful as possible in everything I did. freedom goes together with love. play cards or Yatzy. If people stubbornly preserve and protect an emotion. as we might think. EXAMPLE: A JEALOUS MAN – never lets his girl out of his sight. AN EXCELLENT WAY TO PRESERVE PEACE OF MIND AND AVOID BEING JEALOUS Jealousy is usually the result of personal insecurity and disappointment with one’s self rather than love. Jealous “their property” from all “would-be robbers”. Jealousy has never plagued me since. then coercion with jealousy. . they seldom go out anywhere. Hates cuckoos. Possessed of an incredible ability to see a threat in everything and everyone. Jealousy is to love what rust is to iron.Jealousy is goes togetherlike envy and greed. NOTE: And the same goes for the fair sex. such persons find it extremely easy to make scenes at every possible occasion. but it gets easier as it goes. The hardest thing to do is start. If a girlfriend wants to leave a jealous man. he sometimes threatens murder or suicide. They watch TV. make love and bicker. This is how I rid myself of my jealousy.

the purpose of the phone is to push up the phone bill and provoke quarrels with parents over calls lasting hours at a time. – Will you go on a date with me? – I want to make love to you. taste. tears while you’re being dumped b) it’s easier to utter the following sentences: – I love you. anger during quarrels. 47 . playing music to them. Lately mobile phones have gained much popularity – most youngsters use them for exhibiting their social status rather than communicating. and most importantly. – I’ve had enough of you! a) no fewer than four of the five senses are neglected: sight. heavy breathing… and everything else Alexander Graham Bell never dreamed of when he was inventing this form of telecommunication. Everything else is not possible – for the moment. Such calls include the following activities aimed at pestering blameless telephone subscribers: calling and then hanging up. albeit shorter ones. hence it is no surprise that the first thing persons in puberty say when they come through the front door is: “Any calls for me?” Persons of the fair sex make fewer calls. despair after rejection. insulting them. smell. For youngsters and adolescents. while males make more calls. touch. THE ADVANTAGES OF CALLING YOUR LOVED ONE BY PHONE: THE DISADVANTAGES OF CALLING YOUR LOVED ONE BY PHONE: The telephone a) prevents him/her from seeing your clumsiness in courtship.plays a very important role in the lives of young people. b) the only sexual acts possible over the phone are foreplay and selfgratification (see page 50). but they last longer.

telephone number.” “How Animals Do It”… You can take an active part in such conferences or just listen in. have been completely forgotten as relics of a bygone age. Electronic mail makes possible virtually instantaneous transfers of not only text messages. Let’s try it this way.” “69. If you should receive any indecent offers and suggestions via e-mail. In most cases an exchange of messages will be as far as it goes. Traditional love letters.Computer in the service of sex – it’s very difficult to talk about anything nowadays without mentioning computers. but also photographs. address. there will also be sexual organ attachments enabling a realistic erotic experience. but I think you will agree with me when I say that some caution is warranted. But before you log on. they say. Besides three-D video head-sets. preferably your parents. But sometimes people actually meet each in person and even form emotional relationships. Even if you haven’t heard of them yet. We should perhaps mention computer sex conferences with the most diverse subjects: “Sex Under Water. sound and even video recordings to destinations on the other side of the globe. but at least it will be safer – among other things. I need to say something on this subject.” “Homosexuals as Fathers. you can strike up new friendships with the help of the Internet. If you think you absolutely need pornography (see page 91) and cannot live without a computer. Let’s begin with e-mail. We cannot say whether such virtual sex will rival traditional sex. consider very carefully whether you really want to “meet” various degenerates and perverts and whether you want to assume personal responsibility for the fact that instead of spending time with your friends. let this happen in a public place. computer viruses cannot harm your health like real viruses… As we have heard. . I am certain that you know what is good for you and what isn’t. I know how difficult it is to rein in your hormones at that age. Futurists have signaled that virtual sex could be an every-day event in the near future. My dear children. because you are under age and because of their dubious aesthetic and moral quality. Be careful when you strike up acquaintances with computer pals – I am talking about letting them know your name. If I advise you not to look at them. the most popular Web service. say a café. I want to talk about the sex-related sites in which the Internet abounds. stay on the Net until your subscription expires. you are doing so with various cybergirls. and you should be accompanied by some friends. once beautifully hand-written on the finest paper and sprinkled with perfume. school location… If you do meet. This also goes for sex. you should inform an adult. all that will happen is that you’ll spend even more time on them.” “The Ten Most Important Things a Lesbian Needs to Know. I’m sure you’ll be at them like a shot.

service of practices bed. WARNING: A fertile literary imagination does not necessarily imply imaginative sex. but sometimes also romantic scenes. Myra Breckenridge (Gore Vidal). you daydreaming dunce! ADVICE: In your imagination you can do anything you like with anybody – so go ahead and enjoy yourself! ADDITIONAL LITERATURE: The Decameron. sexual prowess does not mean automatic As on your English tests. in is bath. 49 . ATTENTION: Take very good care to whom you describe your fantasies lest you come to eat your words at a later date! Get up and let an old lady have your seat. Ejaculations.Fantazing in theof both sexes. Usuallysex – itsinpurpose theto inflame theclasses. Erections.001 Nights. The Kama Sutra. Exhibitions… by Charles Bukowski… WARNING: Fantasizing can often lead to disappointment (see the preceding image) or to self-gratification (see the next section). 1. Conversely. during sexual potential of persons in the bus. Fear of Flying (Erica Jong). Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov). on the beach… Usually begins by imagining naked bodies.

Self-gratification. while women need more time to go through the entire tale. Once called onanism. Most girls begin to masturbate only in late adolescence. Polls conducted among men. Men also get excited much more easily than women. much earlier. masturbation. while girls prefer verbal fantasies. I suggest you play with the water while you’re showering! 50 . Boys usually use visual objects for stimulation. fourth…) person. Men reach orgasm much faster. while boys do so much. show that males are much more prone to selfgratification than women. self-gratification means satisfying one’s own desires – doing it to yourself. NOTE: Some women reach orgasm more easily through self gratification than sexual relations. derived from Onan. As the word itself says. son of Judah. During self-gratification. thoughts focus on scenes firing up the sexual imagination. who when having sexual relations with his brother’s wife spilled his sperm on the ground in order to avoid getting her pregnant. self-abuse – the achievement of sexual pleasure without the direct participation of a second (third. with its significant conclusion at the very end. The reason is simple: the male sex organ is much more accessible. both young and old. Boys get using to touching theirs when urinating when they are very young.

Apart from being an activity usually practiced behind closed doors. But they all keep mum about it (especially the latter). coronary patients and people with casts on their arms. but not mentally. IT IS NOT RECOMMENDED: To elderly persons. The palm of his right hand was completely black. even animals.Many living things masturbate: your peers. it is also frowned upon. older and younger people. The situation returned to normal only after he had found himself a girl and stopped his abusing himself. We just wonder how a man of his looks ever managed to find himself a woman and what she must have looked like!! You’ll grow hair on your palms and everybody will know what you’ve been doing! You’ll waste away all your sperm and won’t have any left when you really need it! You mustn’t ever fall for stories like this one! Masturbation is a completely natural and normal function which cannot cause any organic changes on or in your body. he had grown a second nose and another ear. You’ll go blind! You’ll go crazy! You’ll die! It’ll fall off! It will wither away! FROM THE GUTTER PRESS: Reports have come in of a young man with numerous deformities who lives in a mountain village and has no girlfriend. 51 . Is that clear?! SELF-GRATIFICATION IS RECOMMENDED: To people who are without a partner: Better a cock in your hand than a hen on a branch! IT IS ESPECIALLY RECOMMENDED: To very young and very virile persons who are physically ready for sex.

quarrel and make up. he couldn’t do it. get closer to others. everything is mystical and wonderful. fall in love. THE DISADVANTAGES OF A FAIRY TALE: Once it’s over.puberty and also later. Working together. and sometimes even talk! Dates are classified according to: ORDER: a) the first b) the last c) the first. in here once was a young boy who tried to expel his sperm. your bed is wet and your pyjamas are all sticky… is a very important factor of sex. the two of them couldn’t do it. A Boy and his Sperm T THE ADVANTAGES OF A FAIRY TALE: While it lasts. you feet are cold. cheat on each other. the last and never again ATTENDANCE: a) solo b) twosomes (intimate) c) groups (herds) INTERESTINGNESS: a) boring b) extremely boring c) interesting d) a blast Hanging out with other people 52 . He summoned his dreams to help him. hang out together. yawn. The erection then summoned orgasm to help them. Nocturnal emissions. they couldn’t do it. Try as they might. Try as the three of them might. you meet other people. just like in a fairy tale. Try as he might. The dreams summoned erection to help them. or wet dreams– happen to males while they’re asleep. kiss and hold hands. they finally managed to eject the sperm. When you go on dates.

People who are in puberty should go accompanied by friends. The more you go out.” “I don’t want to miss Eastenders. You live it through over and over again. stay at home. (pretty) neighbours and school-teachers… We stress here that we are only interested in kissing our loved ones. the more people you’ll meet and the better your chance to find someone with whom you might spend the rest of your life. girl and boy friends. hair.” “I got my period. pizza parlors. people you’re not comfortable with and dark and lonely places. we won’t mention that there are: good-night kisses. forehead. good-morning kisses. Uncle. good-bye and farewell kisses. backside. tell someone in your family about it. Let’s begin: 53 . have-a-nice-trip kisses. gateways and passages. For the same reason. less of a burden or a hassle. opera.” “I haven’t got any money. People FREQUENTLY go out to: cafes. welcome and happy birthday kisses. Auntie. and never forget it. parties. Happy New Year and happy anniversary kisses. street corners. cinemas. hand. your Thing. Grandpa. The worst thing to do is to cheek. we shan’t mention that kisses are usually directed at Mother. concerts. Don’t wince if your younger brother or sister asks you out. They go out EVEN MORE OFTEN to: parks. Before you go out. When will you do it if not now? “I’ve nothing to wear. Brother. talk about it many a time. Tell them where you’re going and with whom. schoolyards. Kisses leg… In order not to distract our readers. chest. all in the service of sex. Try to avoid suspicious parties. and also safer. Gran. nuclear power stations and the sites of major blazes. Lighten up and – can be aimed at one’s accept the invitation.Your first date will always be the most memorable. DEFINITELY NOT RECOMMENDED FOR DATES ARE: underwater caves. shyness or fear. Go out and meet people whenever you have time to spare. lips. classical music recitals. Father. the ballet. Sis. belly. UNUSUAL places for a date: museums.” “I haven’t washed my hair.” “I have loads to e-mails to answer” are nothing but excuses for laziness. and when you expect to be back. nose. cemeteries. Such outings are more entertaining.

Lots of times! 6. Yes. None of your business. For example: From my autograph book: Question: Have you ever kissed anyone like they do in the movies. Go and ask Jenny from 4C. 20. 21. 54 . Not yet. Why do you ask when you know? 12. I don’t want to catch mono! 13. Not on your life. they beat them – usually on the head! In contrast to the aforementioned population. one more stupidity is characteristic of people not yet in puberty – instead of kissing those they like. Do you really love me? Apart from their rather silly verses about kissing. but I can’t wait! 10. more experience and hence also more mature and coherent answers. I stopped counting after the hundredth time! 7.The roots of our interest in kissing can be found in the pre-puberty stages: For example: From my autograph book: I love you! I think you’re wonderful. tongue and all? Responses: 1. / 15. adolescent people have a much more constructive attitude towards kissing.

Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray! – together with kissing represents foreplay (see next chapter). Regrettably.Question: What do you feel when French-kissing? Responses: 1. caressing is done with the hands and fingers. A prickling sensation on my tongue. I cannot describe it. If you only knew! ADVICE: In order for you and your loved one to enjoy kissing each other. you should maintain oral hygiene. 9. step by step. You can describe it better than I can. we recommend that you proceed slowly. Nothing!!! 13. / 15. Some people prefer kissing. We shouldn’t even mention alcohol and cigarettes. I get hot. visiting the dentist and using mouth-wash. A hard-on. 7. Caressing and making out Step No 1 HAND – HAND Step No 2 HAND – SHOULDER Step No 3 HAND – BREAST or Step No 1 HAND – KNEE Step No 2 HAND – THIGH Step No 3 HAND – “THING” 55 . 21. 6. This means washing your teeth regularly. I still don’t know. 12. 20. In all three cases. yet others like a combination of the two. some touching and stroking. While kissing is done with the lips and tongue.

A carnal game involving touching. the better the ultimate result. But sometimes just the last item is sufficient. DON’T FORGET: Caressing makes sense only when both sides enjoy it. Enjoy the wonder of your body and freedom of your soul and you’ll know exactly when and what you should or shouldn’t do. If that is not the case. By ultimate result. talk to each other and try to find out what is blocking your pleasure. soft music and a partner. kissing and embracing is also a spiritual game.NOTE: The more relaxed the partners. caressing. we don’t mean just sexual intercourse and orgasm. Now let us turn another leaf. but also mutual closeness. Sometimes making out requires a special atmosphere. of course. actually another chapter – Sex! Finally! 56 . WARNING: Areas most frequently touched: The breasts and genitals of your girlfriend Areas never touched: The breasts and genitals of someone else’s girlfriend. tenderness and joy. a partly or even better completely dark room.

Part III Sex .

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Among other things. masturbation…) but does not include what we are yet to mention (sexual intercourse. but with another name. ask yourselves the following questions: – What are my expectations? – Where are the boundaries? – What after? Petting has just one hortcoming – it isn’t intercourse! . Includes everything we have already talked about (kissing. The amorous practices of our grandparents are thus coming back into vogue. It virtually eliminates all risk of pregnancy and sexually – transmitted diseases. it allows inexperienced young people who are virgins to be intimate with their partners yet not commence full sexual relations until they feel they are ready for them. Pe tting SEX PETTING ! IT! WA Petting has many good sides. most young people have no fear of premarital sex and even consider it beneficial. It can be very stimulating and inspiring. pregnancy…). caressing. This forced couples to let off their sexual tension by joining forces. by mutual self-gratification. Before you embark on petting. if both partners are willing to experiment.Why is Sex So Attractive? – at the same time is and isn’t sex. Sex before marriage was very much frowned upon in the past. In today’s world. touching. but luckily do have a fear of AIDS. or external intercourse.

Whispering and teasing contribute to raising sexual tension. The more excited he is. ADVICE: Coordinate the play during the game – the better the unity in the team. Mutual support. a romantic walk or a tender phone conversation. TARGET: Sexual intercourse. NOTE: Any mention of school and homework is has a counter – productive effect. the game ends and a drama begins. endearment and smiling are desirable. the shorter the game. you don’t seem to be an aficionado of foreplay. DURATION OF PLAY: Unlimited. We recommend a dinner for two. denigration. SCORING: Taking off your clothes doubles your score. Determined by the players. the more involved they are. angry looks. and triples it if you take off your shoes. The duration is generally determined by the male half. play is suspended at once. OBSERVATION: If you’ve skipped over Chapter One and begun reading this book from here. Soft touching and caressing. WARNING: When one player says NO. You’re only interested in concrete matters. the more certain is a win. Foreplay is sometimes so short one asks oneself if it happened at all. NUMBER OF PLAYERS: two RULE: Can begin several hours before the actual game. NOTE: Foreplay allows everything that the players consent to mutually. Like any sport. and vice versa. 60 . passionate embraces and hot kisses make the players more relaxed. But the more aroused the fair sex. The female player usually needs more time to relax hence get aroused. it has its rules.Foreplay is the introduction to sexual relations. In the event of insults. threats or physical violence. on other occasions one wonders if sex will ever happen. and the game more exciting.

Sexual intercourse is over after the moment of orgasm. The sexual organs are in contact with each other.Sexual intercourse. making love. Here are some examples: EXAMPLE No. until the moment of orgasm (see page 67). blush. but also a small number of women. the male sex organ must become harder and bigger than usual (see page 102). screwing. banging. NOTE: Some males. she’s a killer! 61 . bonking are theeverything’s OK! We understand you andYou don’t need to main reason why you bought this book. the male sex organ is much wider than the urethra and it is not possible to make a mistake. don’t know that the female urethra (the tube through which urine is excreted) is quite separate from the vagina (the recipient of the male sexual organ during intercourse). For that to happen. 1: What a woman! When I turn off the light. Besides. which increases sexual tension. internal needs and the sexual capacities of the partners. body movements pick up pace. humping. we support you. Full speed ahead! Just think how we felt while we were writing and drawing! So what exactly is sexual intercourse? TRADITIONAL SEXUAL INTERCOURSE begins the moment the moment the male sex organ penetrates the female sex organ. If and when the entire cycle will be repeated depends on external factors.

As he kissed me. He gave me his address and I gave him my necklace. you’re my first! – and they were happy. First we talked for a long time. I don’t know how I’ll stand the waiting for next summer to come! EXAMPLE No. Glowing embers flowed through their bodies. and we lay alone on the sand. . they still played their secret game – Darling. He was gentle and caring. He looked at her as if to say: – Are you ready? Her smile was the reply: – Yes. His penis soared high. 3: His arm was sliding down her sweaty body. I felt my whole body trembling with electricity. The next morning he went with me to the station. you’re my first! He trembled with excitement. I wanted to make love more than anything else in the world. and then began to caress each other. Waves lapped our feet and the stars sent kisses from above as we made love. After living together for 19 years.EXAMPLE No. 2: Everyone else had gone long ago. dear! He placed his sex between her hot thighs. He was just touching her ample bosom when she whispered: – Darling. It was wonderful. They were one for the millionth time. and he whispered in my ear that he loved me and wanted me like no one ever before. Our bodies melted into one. I told him. The sounds of soft music were flowing down the beach from the nearby hotel.

if only you were a cook. She stood on her balcony with her hair down and in her bare feet. and not the groom! IN PREPARATION: Sex on Roller Skates (with foreplay via mobile phone) 63 . she cried out. Her skin was soft and tender. When the clock struck midnight. He ripped off her nightdress with a single move. the moon shining on her milky skin and lithe body. and she forgot the wedding that was take her into the arms of another man the next day. He caressed her budding breasts as her hand slid towards his belly. 4: The night was warm and quiet. heart-broken: – My darling. He lifted her and carried her to the bed. She threw herself into his arms. Their lips met.EXAMPLE No. As they were at the height of their pleasure. He walked around the rose-bed and scaled the ivy. The only sound was an owl hooting from time to time. He cast off his clothes and lay beside her. They made love for the last time. he appeared in the garden. She waited for him atremble and more beautiful than ever before.

Apart from the protagonists themselves. An egg-cell can remain fertile for three or four days at most. Sexual relations can take place between: – persons of different sexes – heterosexual relations. dexterity. They may be less attractive. during and after sex and the usually earthshaking orgasmic experience. If no fertile egg-cell exists. and – persons of the same sex – homosexual relations (see pages 72 and 73). dialogues before. they are simply expelled from the woman’s body. Common sexual relations are defined as all those that aren’t of the cinematic kind. After a bit of time. and above everything else: h) love. Sex can lead to impregnation. During every sex act. and the unimpregnated egg-cell does the same. during menstruation. All right. I wonder what you define as theory?! 64 . A spermatozoon is capable of impregnating an egg-cell in a period of 48 after leaving the man’s body. but Why don’t you give only one manages to penetrate the us a practical egg cell waiting for it in a Fallopian example. That is stifling us with when the development of a child begins… and God forbid if you are theory! under-age (see page 82). they need to apply one or more means of contraception (see page 78). the sperm all die. Its main characteristic is that it features a handsome male lead and a gorgeous female companion. you’re tube. If a couple does not want pregnancy to take place. We call this impregnation. We differentiate between two types of sexual relations: the film kind and the common kind. If you consider this practice. a huge number of spermatozoa enter the uterus. speed. or pregnancy. The film kind can only been seen in films. I’d like to add a few words.Sexual relations usually take place for the following reasons: a) curiosity b) boredom c) coercion d) loneliness e) revenge f) fun g) gain. but they are genuine. viewers are fascinated by their poses. Impregnation is the process in which the sperm links up with the egg cell.

others long for some tenderness. yet others fear they might be dumped of they refuse to go to bed with someone… Some (but not very many) actually yearn for sex. Say knowingmany people.they are doing so. NO is particularly important on a first date. agreeing to have sex is a matter of the body. At first sight. I don’t advise you to have sex before you really get to know each other. and it also confuses the writers of this book. However important NO is for the fair sex. it is just important for men. NO! NO! 65 . and vice versa. That is why you need to be precise.Say YES. It confuses both yourself and your partner. Only after you have learned to say NO will your YES acquire true strength and meaning. social and ethical decision all in one. My dear girls. emotional. learn to say NO whenever you mean NO. It isn’t all the same if you say YES and mean NO. It involves a mental. Some cannot express relations NO – exactly why especially young people. However bright the moonlight and however irresistible he might be. But it is a much more complex problem. yet always say NO. begin sexual in words without what they feel for their partner.

but also how. the nape of your neck. and of course the genitals. breasts (particularly nipples). recognise – parts with numerous nerve You can erogenous zones by fact especial The usual erogenous zones are: the mouth. pleasure. . Some people like gentleness and subtlety. What gave exceptional pleasure during sex with one partner may not be so to a new one. In this way the partners can find each others’ erogenous zones easily and strengthen their link. Erogenous zones change with the passage of time and change of partner. as long as it is acceptable to both partners. Lesser known erogenous zones are: …you really want to have everything served on a platter! A little work on your own wouldn’t be amiss! Mutual exploration is even more useful and interesting. while others prefer strength and firmness. the inner and upper thighs. Everything is OK. 66 NOTE: It isn’t important just what you touch. But a new partner can also reveal new pleasures.Why is sex mysterious? Erogenous zones thebody that caressing them induces endings.

while problems with erection appear only in real life. creaking of the bed. and. ejaculation of sperm. we wouldn’t be here. women were expected only to bear children. It is followed by a feeling of relief and relaxation. it’s neither the first nor the last time that happened! 67 . muscle spasms. heavy breathing. Sexual pleasure wasn’t just undesirable. Besides giving satisfaction. Some other cultures treated the woman as the most wonderful thing in the world and sex as a gift and the joy of living. it was held to be disgraceful. contraction of the uterus. Should orgasm not take place. make love. Philosophising. A woman’s orgasm takes many more and different forms than the male orgasm. The brain’s role was completed in the “do I want to have sex” phase. and is therefore the subject of much more study by scientists (and others). but the entire body. These views existed mainly in Western civilisation. If it didn’t exist. ADVICE: Relax. sighing and moaning. What makes the orgasm different from everything else is the feeling of total satisfaction. the orgasm is also responsible for procreation (see page 76). It is the male orgasm that is of decisive importance – a woman can get pregnant even without feeling the slightest tinge of pleasure. prepare contraception. In the past. and taking pleasure in sex has become a right for women fully equal to that enjoyed by men. The the Orgasm the most exciting yet shortest phase of different crown of sexual changes: an indescribable feeling of warmth. Simultaneous orgasm is mainly confined to the cinema.His Highnessrelations. sometimes loud noises. Women’s position in society has changed enormously. Orgasms can be of the film kind and the common kind (just like sex). for any reason whatsoever – so what. or even a sin. an accelerated heartbeat. dispensing advice and wit during sex isn’t at all conducive to orgasm and is enjoyed even less by your partner. not just in the genital area. play with each other. awakening family members and neighbours etc. most importantly of all. Faked orgasms exist in real life just like they exist in films. turn off your brain completely. Its imperial– appearance is attended by a numberof sex.

a comfortable bed. or maidenhead. * The hymen. Sometimes girls can even split their hymen before their first sexual experience. adulthood. experience. This means that you need everything that you don’t have and will not have in the very near future. The pain isn’t strong. and is thus easier to forget or confuse with a fourth or fifth. There are even girls who have no hymen. mothers are still busily injecting panic into their daughters’ hearts about their first sexual relations. trepidation but also a great feeling of joy.Virginity – todayaagreat virtue for Although once girls. drinks. The same goes for sex. kiss. When the male sexual organ enters the vagina during the girl’s first sexual experience. Every “first” – date. spontaneity. a bathroom at hand. and. A second and a third are never as exciting. Many girls await the penetration of their hymen* with great trepidation. and the problem of the blood can be solved by placing a towel under you. “The first time” is always the most important – it causes excitement. while those of others may be so flexible that there is no bleeding during penetration. going on holidays without your parents – is remembered for all time. is tissue covering the entrance to the vagina. a candle-lit dinner for two. it penetrates the hymen. an empty flat. most importantly of all – a loved one. So what then do you want? VIRGIN: Everyone except me has already done it! What’s the rush? VIRGIN: I don’t want to miss The Simpsons! 68 . causing a temporary pain and bleeding. First loves are never forgotten… Full enjoyment of sex requires love. a fire in the fireplace (not in summertime!) soft music. but major pain.

to je vi{e u`ivanja. Sex requires matureness and a level head. nije isklju~eno da se tvoje voljeno bi}e ose}a isto kao i ti. SAVET: Ukoliko si pred prvi seksualni odnos napet/a i nervozan/na reci to svom voljenom bi}u. Your FIRST TIME must take place only when you are completely ready. In spite of all urgings and warnings for or against. Iako deluje pribrano. a mo`da i gore. the partners postpone it for some other “first time”. This usually happens to persons of a similar age. 69 . when you have a condom at hand and other contraceptives near by. ima}e{ manje straha. a {to je manje straha. Oslu{nimo na trenutak kakve sve strahove izaziva prvi seksualni odnos. Sve {to si sigurniji/a u sebe i svog partnera. patient and oversensitive with each other. it will be welcome”.Please don’t rush into things. both physically and mentally. your motto should be “Whenever it happens. my dears. who are too caring. I AM AFRAID OF: • pain • pregnancy • farting accidentally • my mother coming into the room • of making a fool of myself • not knowing what to do • not feeling anything at all • not being able to get a hard-on • what will happen after • subsequent rumours • him/her using me •… Have you found any of you fears in the list above? Is it easier now that you know others also have various fears? Is it perhaps even more difficult for you now that we have given you ideas for fresh fears? ABSOLUTE RUBISHH: The (mythical) belief that you cannot get pregnant during your first sexual experience!!! YOU CAN! PRACTICE HAS SHOWN: The “first time is sometimes drawn out into three or four episodes – when the time for sex comes.

A WARNING FOR THE MALE SEX: Don’t expect too much from your first sexual experience.A WARNING FOR THE FAIR SEX: Don’t expect too much from your first sexual experience. Your attention is spread among many sides. she won’t 70 . We shall list here the best and least known: The best known positions: Positions 1) he on top 2) she on top 3) sitting down 4) doggie style 5) from behind 6) standing up 7) he wants. clumsy insertion into her vagina. But miracles do take place sometimes – you could be one of the lucky few. Expect problems with your erection. especially if it is also the first time for your partner. You never know. The best route to it is true love for your loved one. because you aren’t very likely to get much. you are passing through new experiences. premature ejaculation… but don’t expect fiery sex and an earthshaking orgasm. especially if it is also the first time for your partner. Losing your virginity is called losing your cherry. because you aren’t very likely to get much. – the various positions in which you can make love. your feelings are too string… yet you wouldn’t mind if you had an orgasm.

Some love oral sex.The least known positions: 1) he standing on her head 2) she standing on his head 4) he standing – 3) she hanging – he hanging 7) she wants 6) she standing – he’s fallen a sleep she hanging he won’t 5) she standing – he hanging NOTE: If you haven’t understood sexual positions as acrobatic or athletic skills. Some are scandalised. and 2) there may not be any coercion. What is your opinion? We believe that there are neither right or wrong things in sex. There are only two rules in sex: 1) there are no rules. – stimulating the genitals with your tongue and mouth. some detest it. you’re on the right road. ADVICE: If your loved one does not want to fulfil some desire of yours. leave him/her alone. some astounded. He/she’ll either do it some other day or never – but it’s his/her decision! Oral sex This picture is here purely by accident and has nothing to do with the text! 71 . Whatever you consent to mutually. In that case you’ll certainly not take oral sex to mean talk about sex. Can be one-sided or mutual. and some indifferent. whatever you both like and enjoy – that is the right thing.

In many Western countries. homosexuals live quite openly and even marry one another. they just go underground. Whatever anyone might think. there always have been and there always will be homosexuals. It’s just the way it is. Some people view this with understanding and approval. Boys in puberty often like to show each other their sexual organs. but of natural curiosity.Anal sex – we’ll talk about it once you’ve improved your grades! Better to stick to the traditional entrances and exits! Well. rather than fags. There is talk about allowing homosexuals being allowed to adopt children. some with less understanding. In spite of extensive scientific research. and even masturbate together. Enough for now and back to your books! “You’ll learn when you grow up!” – men who have sexual relations with other men. The anus. no one can say with certainty why some men prefer their male to their female friends. compare and measure them. Homosexuals 72 . so I do need to say a few words. If their environment lambastes and chastises them. exploration and competition. The exact reason why some men are homosexual remains unknown. or rectum. This need not be a sign of homosexuality. But anal sex can also be very painful and cause bleeding. Like to be called gays. contains numerous nerve endings. Stimulating it could cause pleasant feelings both for men and women. they don’t change. This type of sex requires a condom because of the large number of germs inside the anus and the possibility of contracting the HIV virus. yet others with abhorrence. testing. all right! I see you’re putting in a lot of effort and are plagued by curiosity.

have relationships with them. This also need not have anything to do with lesbianism. You might view it as a test of sorts. but rather friendship. this does not mean you are a homosexual or a lesbian. They often hold hands when they walk and spend a lot of time together.– women who fall in love with other women. But the majority of all people do pick someone of the opposite sex. closeness and allegiance. This is biologically the most favourable solution. The same things that go for homosexuals (see previous page) also go for lesbians (also called female homosexuals). If you have had sexual relations with a person of your own sex. A person with a healthy sex life Pleasure Why is sex beneficial? A person without a healthy sex life 73 . confidence. An adult person with a healthy sex life is very different from one without a healthy sex life (see pictures). as it ensures procreation. training or preparation for future heterosexual relations. live together and have sexual relations. Many people are bisexual. This means they can enjoy sex both with their own sex and the opposite sex. Girls in puberty are usually very tender and caring for one another. Lesbians – sex liberates your tension and produces great satisfaction.

If you want to experience full satisfaction in sex. people become stronger. 15th and 16th days after the beginning of their periods. but one step at a time. “no one was born smart”. and one might say also inconsiderate. of course. This is not a simple thing. This count is not valid for women with irregular monthly cycles. you need to know exactly what you want of yourself and your partner. Pregnancy begins at the moment of conception (see page 61) and ends with childbirth. but even that will give you satisfaction! By assuming responsibility for their actions. more secure and happier. you answer these questions. four. and this is how we see it: 74 . * For most women. Curious. I suggest that before you begin sexual relations with someone. That is how pregnancy is seen by doctors. You won’t believe it. – Am I ready? – Who is the person with whom I want to have sexual relations? – Why and for what reasons do I want to do it? – Where will we make love? – Am I in love? – What am I expecting? – What are the consequences? – Which contraceptives will I use to protect myself? Pregnancy – duringplacefertilewoman* has hadusing takes if a sex her days without a contraceptive. eight cells and so on until it reaches a raspberry-sized complex from which a human being then slowly and gradually develops in a period of nine months. they are the 14th. physicians peeked into women’s bodies and discovered that the fertilised egg-cell divides into two.

as some think. It knows exactly what is and what isn’t good for it. but it definitely isn’t stupid. and the long-awaited event: CHILDBIRTH! What Mum feels like before she gives birth Mum only knows — What she feels like after giving birth. Finally. the baby busily prepares to face the outer world. heaven only knows! 75 . month nine.In the first few months of pregnancy. the baby may be small. the baby is already waiting for its stork or cabbage leaf to take it out into the world. For the entire duration of the pregnancy. In the eighth month of pregnancy.

in the true sense of the word. In an effort to explain as well as possible the importance of the family both for individuals and for society. so that our descendants can continue being born and multiplying. BUT THE FRUIT OF SEX! 76 AUTHOR’S NOTE: The best thing that could happen to a child would be for both parents to care about it equally. STORK. it survives for a relatively short time. BRING ME A BROTHER! BETTER SEX THAN WAR! THE WHITE PLAGUE IS THE BIGGEST SHAME! I WANT TO BE BORN. BUT MUM WON’T LET ME! IF YOUR PARENTS DIDN’T HAVE CHILDREN. Here are a few slogans: MAKE LOVE. But in the world we live in. If it exists at all.. This is what she told us (or as long as we cared to listen…): .Procreation is the biggest and most important benefit arising form sex. the family has been neglected. CONCLUSION: We mustn’t stop making love. BECAUSE: If our ancestors had not made love. YOU WON’T HAVE THEM. we located a prominent expert in family matters (my Gran). we wouldn’t be here today. EITHER! LONG LIVE ALL MOTHERS AND FATHERS! CHILDREN ARE NOT THE FRUIT OF LOVE. NOT WAR! PLEASE MR.

fourth) time and there are new children. manicures (hand and fingernail care). toenail care).The family is sacred. 77 . They divide their property. pedicuresyou hair. In my day and age. then they live together. (foot and excess hair removal (women’s wax treatments). IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: If you want to hear more. keeping your room and also the rest of your home tidy — and only then make-up. cleaning your shoes. hairdressing and applying perfume. the order is reversed – first the child. the proper order was maintained: a lad and a lass got married. airing out your room and changing your bedlinen. children. women marry a second (third. relatives. The adultsdo manage to create new lives for themselves eventually. friends. shaving. and then got to know each other. ask your own Gran.. cleaning your teeth. combing getting haircuts. washing. In some places it works. I never had it easy in life. The young people of today – the minute they disagree on something comes the divorce. in some it doesn’t. Nowadays. New linkages are made fast. Be wise and. Children came at the very end. Depends on the people involved and their temperaments. bathing or showering. but it is the children who suffer. What else do I need to learn? Hygiene means washing you face. if it happens at all. but at least I always tried to preserve my family. ironing and cycling your attire regularly.. and the wedding is last.

Counting and calculating your fertile days never did anyone of your age any good. hysterical outbursts and similar. and also for genital hygiene. I am happy to suggest taking a bath together. wherever and whom ever you want. fears. traumas. IMPORTANT NOTE: Never use the “safe days” as a method of contraception. “safe days” do not exist! FATHER Contraceptive 78 . Contraceptivesloath to rock a baby.Some people are reluctant to have sex with others because they think their partners’ cleanliness is suspect. high stress levels. Remember. Wait a while and your life will begin going downhill. Some people are reluctant to have sex because of a fear of unwanted pregnancy or of contracting a sexually-transmitted disease. Reading it together could be very interesting. But if you think your sex. Water is excellent for foreplay. But if you do change your mind some day. talk to a youth counselor.would be bettertremendous prevent unwanted conception during They are of importance for all those life with a host of problems. a gynecologist (see page 81) or an experienced person you trust. then go ahead and make love without protection. I am more than happy to suggest that you read the next chapter. and also very useful.

WARNING: A condom is not always easy to put on. smells and sizes. Oral contraceptives – excellent contraceptives. Inserted into the uterus and can stay 79 there for several years. while nowadays it is produced in various colours. A condom is soft rubber sheath placed on the penis to prevent sperm from entering into the vagina. during menstruation. Spirals are very reliable contraceptives. May not be inserted by a woman’s partner. although they use it for a completely different purpose – throwing water balloons at passers-by. .prophylactic or – the best most widespread and most INCORRECT accessible contraceptive. It follows from all the above that condoms are reliable contraceptives. Condoms past their sell-by date are also unsafe. They should not be kept in warm places (pockets. So well USE known and abundant that even little CORRECT USE children own some. Besides preventing pregnancy. wallets…). You need a prescription for them from your gynecologist.known. but is always difficult to remove. shapes. as they will no longer be reliable. You must be very careful not to allow sperm to leak and enter the vagina – that could ruin all the trouble you’d gone to. when the cervix is the softest and the insertion painless. and is bought quite openly. Once it was purchased with a red face and while looking over your shoulder. newsstalls and supermarkets.Condom. provided the pills are taken properly Spirals – contraceptives made of soft plastic materials. RECOMMENDATION: Contraceptive pills are definitely not recommended for forgetful and senile persons! All others may use them with an easy mind and have sex with no fear of unwanted pregnancy. but only by a doctor. but not enough in themselves – caution is always advised! – at the same time ever day (except for a one-week break). what interests us here is its primary function. Condoms bought in pharmacies are generally safer than those bought at newsstands. it is also excellent protection from sexually – transmitted diseases and the HIV virus. Of course. Can be bought in pharmacies. More suitable for older women than for younger ones.

Pregnancy cannot be avoided in this way! IT ISN’T TRUE that the (in)famous coitus interruptus represents protection from pregnancy. so that he is unable to keep his firm promise. who will check whetherthe spiral’s all right. whether it might have fallen out – it doesn’t happen often. Quite often an orgasms will surprise a man. Ladies. from time to time you need to visit your gynecologist.Chaps. IT ISN’T TRUE that unwanted sperm can be removed with a shower or thorough wash immediately after sex. Foams. vagina ten minutes before can obtained without prescription. IT ISN’T TRUE that having sex standing up will prevent pregnancy.awhich can be creams. Not fully reliable and should be used in parallel with another contraceptive method. 80 . Don’t worry. Inserted an interesting part of foreplay for the couple. The story that sperm cannot swim uphill is as true as the myth that they always run downhill. during sex your penis cannot get entangled in a spiral. you’ll never even feel it. Most men ejaculate before they withdraw their penises.into the jellies and AB cream –everybesexual intercourse. but it is possible.

Many women are terrified of their gynecologists and avoid visiting them for years. Sometimes a single discussion this section.roleman oron woman withbePh. So if something troubles you go and see a psychologist – an hour spent talking to a psychologist is worth more than days and weeks spent with various Agony Aunts. a medical of the male genitourinary In spite of all urologists are never as popular as you seldom hear anyone being in terror of visiting a urologist. Does this mean that men are generally more courageous? Psychologist – also holds an important postinincharacter. At least that’s the way it’s supposed to be. even decades.D. get dressed and go and see your doctor. You’ll admittract. This may no account assuemd by your best friend. determines necessary therapy. advises. refer to you. in medical a a a science and specialist training. helps in childbirth… This all points to a very friendly and confidential relationship between a woman and her gynecologist. helps maintain pregnancies. of course!). Does this Of course not. who read somewhere that you should… A gynecologist performs gynecological examinations and renders expert opinions. specialist who handles the diseasesgynecologists.The gynecologist – a medical expert. Many sexual problems and psychological rather than physical with a psychologist is enough to turn an adolescent’s life 180 degrees (for the better. ADVICE: Have a bath. Urologist –their work. my dear? .

Abortion happenedthe of a pregnancy. If this section made you laugh. neighbours. then it becomes a nightmare. it’s relatively safe.What are the darker sides of sex? Abortion is– terminationremoval of the foetuscontrast toofa the baby). REASON FOR ABORTION: Unwanted pregnancy CONSEQUENCES OF ABORTION: fear. abortion a forcible (embryo is among darker sides of sex. Abortions are never carried out in the last three months of pregnancy. * You know you are pregnant: when you’ve missed your period. The younger the woman. when your gynecologist says so If reading this section has made you pause for thought. traumas and a risk of permanent sterility THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: finding out you’re pregnant* as early as possible THE STUPIDEST THING: trying to conceal your pregnancy THE MOST DIFFICULT THING: Telling your mother! JUST AS DIFFICULT: Telling your father! THE MOST DANGEROUS THING: having an abortion after the third month EVEN MORE DANGEROUS: Expecting incompetent persons to help you THE MOST NAÏVE THING: Consulting with friends. If an abortion is carried out in the early months of pregnancy (until the 12th week). 82 . younger sisters and people of a similar level of competence THE SMARTEST THING: going to a youth counseling centre or a gynecologist for information about contraception THE BEST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: Never having an abortion. Later than that and it could threaten a women’s physical or mental health. which by itself. In miscarriage. this means you’re a mature and responsible person. the darker the abortion. especially for women. If it is carried out by an incompetent person. If this section was boring and incomprehensible. suffer from morning sickness and vomiting and crave for vinegary foods. you should ask yourself what sort of bozo you are. when your pregnancy test comes out positive. put away the book and go back to your Barbie dolls. and even her life.

it’s FATAL. secretions… TRANSMISSION: Easy and fast HOW: Sexual relations TREATMENT: Lengthy and tedious PROTECTION: Condoms PREVENTION: Avoiding sexual relations if one of the partners suspects the existence of a sexually – transmitted disease RISKS: Frequent change of partner and poor hygiene DELUSIONS: It only happens to others. DRUG ADDICTS. depending on the affliction. so dark that it’s an absolute nightmare. AIDS CANNOT BE CURED. it’ll go away by itself ESPECIALLY NEGATIVE: It’s a major bother and also a great disgrace ESPECIALLY POSITIVE: Nothing Those that understand how dangerous sexually-transmitted diseases are may read on. YOU SHOULD NOW HOW SERIOUS AIDS REALLY IS. Aids TO MAKE SURE YOU’D READ THIS SECTION AT LEAST TWICE. Members of the following groups have a bigger than average risk of contracting the HIV virus: HAEMOPHILIACS. gonorrhea. a prickling sensation. swellings. or by relyingdiseasesadvice. TYPES OF DISEASES: syphilis. If you try to treat them by even darker and more dangerous. herpes. 83 . redness. AIDS sufferers usually DIE in great pain. The others should re-read this section until they comprehend it fully. they only get or Venereal on laymen’s – a very dark side of sex. WE DIDN’T SAVE ON PAPER. Now go on. – the darkest side of sex. HOMOSEXUALS AND PROMISCUOUS PERSONS (those who often change partners in sex) Transmitted through the BLOOD or SEXUAL RELATIONS. vaginitis… SYMPTOMS: may be very different.Sexually-transmitted yourself. Itching. The best protection: CONDOMS and FIDELITY of the partners.

AIDS sufferers usually DIE in great pain. so dark that it’s an absolute nightmare. Mace or siren! Avoid inflaming male passions if you’re not willing to have sex! Stay out of the cars and flats of people you don’t know! Be as sober and careful as possible! 84 . slapping across the face. AIDS CANNOT BE CURED. It is punishable by law. God forbid. Members of the following groups have a bigger than average risk of contracting the HIV virus: HAEMOPHILIACS. and only then to the police. It is usually an expression of anger. Usually attended by physical violence. brutality. condemnation or adverse comments. Its victims are usually reluctant to talk about their bad experiences. go to your Gynecologist at once. The best protection: CONDOMS and FIDELITY of the partners. or has consented under duress. you must immediately tell a person you trust about it. Without showering or washing yourself. HOMOSEXUALS AND PROMISCUOUS PERSONS (those who often change partners in sex) Transmitted through the BLOOD or SEXUAL RELATIONS. They are afraid of a feeling of guilt or shame. it’s FATAL.– the darkest side of sex. Its victims can be both female and male. crying and fear. Rape can inflict both physical and mental consequences on its victims. Sexual violence is far more widespread than you might think. revenge by their assailant. shame on their whole family… COMPULSORY: If. DRUG ADDICTS. – sexual contacts to which one person has not consented voluntarily of knowingly. something like this happens to you. demonstration of force or an act of humiliation rather than an attempt to achieve sexual satisfaction. PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE: Avoid dark and lonely places! Always carry a flashlight. OF COURSE: You mustn’t invent anything that didn’t really happen! Aids ADVISABLE: Spreading the word about AIDS TRIED AND TESTED: God protects those who protect themselves! Sexual violence Rape –consent ofrelations carried out sexual without the one person.

Incest In case some old geezer starts blowing in your face. the headmaster.ADDITION I: Rape can also be committed by someone you know – a friend. but scream off the top of your head: “Help! Police! Help!” If the maniac is by some chance a person who is close to you. stroking your leg or God forbid even shoving his hand into your panties. perpetrated by next of kin. that they will be punished or that the sexual violence will spread to other family members. Both the aggressor and the victims can be male or female. scream even louder! You must never fall for statements like this one – “Don’t tell anyone about this. Children usually succumb because they are terror-stricken and ashamed. They fear that they won’t be believed. they are usually compelled to keep it secret. husband. its consequences for the children are very negative. Pedophilia or between a child and an child abuse means sexual relations older person not related to the child. It is sometimes difficult to distinguish between incest and simple closeness and love between relatives. teacher or eve a family member (see the next section) ADDITION II: If you see any suspicious individuals hanging around your school. stepmother or more distant relatives. Like the other forms of sexual violence. a stepfather. a parent or the nearest police station. Pedophilia sometimes also involves prostitution. – sexual violence within a family. staring at your bosom. don’t be scared and lose your wits. let it be our little secret!” or “Tell anyone a word and you’ll regret it!” Find an adult you trust and do the exact opposite! 85 . If children are involved. boyfriend. you must immediately inform a teacher.

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Part III Around Sex .

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which is definitely not good. but even discussing it. But as soon as the kids break away and start to expand their language on their own.Is t good or bad? i Swearing to both badand and utter languagewrite them... adults begin punishing them – not only banning the use of profanity.. . If only they themselves never cussed! 89 . While kids are small. Usually demonstrate their bad language – frequently heard from adolescents.. They are even rewarded with applause. who have an ardent need in public or forbidden places. adults love to teach them to swear. laughter or even money.

So take things into your own hands and get to work. of course! Very grateful in advance. car or ship? By the way. Well said. unease and confusion.EroticaUsually causesart red face. how far are they from the town centre? Well. libraries. The best thing is that we all follow our own discretion and decide what we like and don’t like. in video rentals … but also in museums. If it goes well. a a quicker heartbeat... go ahead and write an entire collection of poems. One and the same thing may be taboo for some and an everyday thing for others. but also shame. Yours ……! 90 . IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW: Erotics write love poems. By foot. it’s individual. Nudity is not a compulsory part of erotica. publish it and dedicate it to me. cinemas. Eroticism can also exist in fully – clothed persons. but please also explain how we can reach the bounds of decency. Just like sexuality. MESSAGE FOR A LOVED ONE: Please be erotic and write me a love poem.with – literature or dealing sexual love. slight nervousness and sexual arousal. exhibitions. INFORMATION: Erotic materials can be found at news-stands.

high anxiety and sexual arousal. we won’t try to explain how you can get access to it. usually provoking redness in the face. although you can find it everywhere (see the corner news-stand). hookers. In some countries it has been legalised. Prostitprostitutio– and means the ution derived from Latin word debauchery and selling one’s body for money. Prostitutes are generally called whores. Male prostitutes are called gigolos. as it existed as such in the time of the ancient Greeks and Romans.Pornography – spreading debauchery and obscenity by depicting naked and seminaked men and women. pornography is interested in only one thing – openly showing male and female genitals and sexual relations. shock and revulsion. but sometimes also horror. But regardless of the law. IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW: A pornographer is a writer or artist creating works depicting debauchery. Today prostitution is more widespread than ever. INFORMATION: As pornography is banned to persons under the age of 18. BUTCHER 91 . it seems impossible to eradicate. In contrast with erotic materials. a quicker heartbeat. It’s a very hard and risky profession. especially in the lives of harlots. Prostitutes often transmit venereal disease and the HIV virus. which focus on the aesthetic side. Calling prostitution the world’s oldest profession isn’t unfounded.

whom he then ambushes by jumping out in front of them and opening his overcoat. they aren’t being exhibitionists or perverts. The best known exhibitionist is a flasher. while Tom – Secretly watches hiding behind bushes or through keyholes – until he’s driven off. ignore them or threaten to call the police and go home at once. their action is stimulating. See picture. 92 . NOTE: When partners in sex take off their clothes and look at each other.Peepingpeople making love. – a man or a woman who loves to be watched by others more than anything else in the world. but meeting them is not pleasant. If it happens to you. On the contrary. Being a Peeping Tom is definitely not commendable. sometimes making a frightening or at least a stupid face at the same time. a person who puts on an overcoat with nothing under it. Being an exhibitionist is just as commendable as being a Peeping Tom. Sometimes content with just watching. depending on the level of exhibitionism. Exhibitionist Orgies – sex with more than two people involved. but sometimes also masturbates. Present themselves to the world in a dressed or undressed state. hangs around dark corners and waits for innocent victims. NOTE: Peeping Toms and flashers are not dangerous as such.

the mother killed herself at once. and. NARCISSUS – a youth who saw his image in a lake and fell in love with it.Talking about Sex We divided this chapter into two parts so as to impress you with our knowledge and studious approach. Located at the site of today’s Dead Sea (that should make everything clear!). avoid looking at yourself in the mirror too often and too long. had four children with her. When they found out their mistake. The gods later turned his body into the flower called after him. The Oedipus complex is the subject of numerous works of art and literature. but also family quarrels. Today we say someone is narcissistic when he or she is self-centred and obsessed with his own physical or mental attributes. and: – contemporary sexual myths. No one doing that can be called clever or normal. while Oedipus first blinded himself and then killed himself. SODOM AND I GOMORRAH – Biblical cities of sin and debauchery burned down in sulphur and tar. It is also copulation with animals. gradually wasting away and finally dying from unfulfilled desire after himself (what a geek!). 93 . Sodomy is anal or oral sex. There are two types of myths: – ancient sexual myths. WARNING: If your name is Narcissus. worst of all. Ancient sexual myths OEDIPUS – unwittingly killed his own father and married his own mother.

Contemporary sexual myths
Marjorie, what do you say to the idea that we two collect all our myths and publish them. Do you like my idea?

No!

Am I pregnant? – aCOLUMNS.often seen in question READERS’ You’ve probably
seen many already, and perhaps even written one.

Dear So and So,
Please help me! I am beside myself with fright. Our class was on a hiking trip on Saturday. We walked for three hours and I was so tired I almost collapsed. When we reached the top, I sat down on a rock. A friend told me that minutes before a boy called Jack from another form had sat on the rock and that I was probably pregnant. At first I though she was pulling my leg, but as time passes it looks more and more as if she was right. I don’t feel too well and my stomach has been growing. Jill Dear Jill, Your question will be answered by our pregnancy expert once she’s returned from maternity leave. Until then, please go on a diet! The editor

Marjorie, do you remember when you...

No I don’t, and will you stop interrupting me all the time!

94

Coming isnine times in a As row the dream of every male.
youngsters they dream about it, in their prime they work at it, and in their old age talk they about it. Their boyhood dream turns into an eternal dream. Let’s hear a tragic story proving the point. When I first heard about the record, I was ten. It was accomplished by a certain Tom Jones from 7c. Well, Tom was quite a bit older than we were because he’d flunked a year twice. During his record-breaking attempt, he held before him the photograph of an unknown blonde (undressed) lying on a tiger skin (artificial). His accomplishment took place before two witnesses who’d previously taken an oath. Since then I have been trying to break Tom’s record. In the past 39 years I have never been able to go past ONE. I’ll be turning 50 tomorrow. I have decided to officially stop trying. Nine times in a row – only Tom Jones could have done something like that. Recently I heard that Tom moved to Australia and that his son can do it ten times in a row.

Sexualtaken of one’s own free will,aphrodisiacs – serve to knowledge*. There are stimulants or but more often without one’s boost sexual potency. Sometimes
many types of aphrodisiacs, but the best known is called Spanish Fly. *usually put secretly into a drink. Have you heard the story about the girl who had a sexual stimulant put in her drink without her knowledge? Read on.

There once was a young girl (who we think is probably pretty old by now) who went out one night with a lad (whom we think she didn’t know too well). They sat and talked and everything was fine, until she went to powder her nose, and the lad put an aphrodisiac into her drink (probably quite a strong one). As they sat down in the car (he was taking her home, we guess), the drug began to hit her. She got randier and randier and barely managed to contain herself. When she could no longer restrain herself, she jumped straight on to the gear-stick!
MORAL: Don’t go out with people you don’t know! Don’t go to the bathroom, and if you must, take your drink with you. Fall for the boy, not the gear-stick!
Pant, pant...

Many people believe eating honey and walnuts enhance sexual prowess! NO ONE WHO IS NORMAL BELIEVES that alcohol, tobacco and drugs boost potency!

95

Sex Through History

Spousesolder and thus wiser, which meansby parents under the following pretext: were once chosen “We’re that we know better than you do what is
good for you. How can a child of 16 or 17 know whether it’s better to buy a plot of arable land or an orchard? Weddings were scheduled only after the two sides’ relatives had reached agreement on moveable and immovable property (provided a row hadn’t broken out in the meantime). In many cases the bride and groom met for the very first time at their wedding. Surprises were many, usually unpleasant. You can just imagine how perplexed the newly-weds were during their first night!! NOWADAYS: Parents no longer pick our future wives or husbands – we now have to make the wrong choice ourselves!

Marjorie, let me tell you how on your first night you…

Maybe, but let me then tell YOU how on your honeymoon…

All right, all right, perhaps it’s better is we went on to the next section at once!

Nothing before we're married, in other words:
Get away from me! Who do you take me for? Get out! Take you hands off me!
You should be ashamed of yourself!

I’ll call mother!
Don’t you dare touch me!

96

– means “Sit and wait for me. Her genital area was locked up.Sentences like these were uttered by this and similar girls who wanted to give their future husbands their chastity (see page 68). The bride’s mother-in-law established whether she was a virgin or not by inspecting the bed-sheets the next morning. and thus forgotten. I’ll be back when the time for it comes!” While her husband was away on his business. It isn’t easy to be both happy and right.. Malefemale relations are far too complex in their simplicity. Is it easier to cheat on someone than to break up?? 97 . Their first sexual relation took place during their wedding night. But let’s leave that subject for another time! A word or two about infidelity. sew. but some things have to be respected. Before you begin a new romantic and sexual relationship. * the property which a woman brings to her husband at marriage. I know very well what it’s like when you fall in love. Chastity belt I won’t weep over the sad fate of us women. That would mean entering into be a vicious circle which is difficult to leave. a wife could do pretty much everything (knit. have the courtesy to break off the old one. And neither will I stoop to calling men male chauvinist pigs. clean.) except have sex. besides their dowry*. weave. It’s wonderful. iron. wash. stitch.

True or False DIPLOMA HIGHLIY-SKILLED SEXUAL BEGINNER Getting everything right in each tests wins you ten points. look at things and people. and zero if you get it wrong. For partially correct answers you get five points. and open up some. Readers with the highest scores will be awarded this special DIPLOMA: 98 .. though. But before we give each other a goodbye kiss. Add up the points. Recognition and Familiarisation 2.Take your life in your hands. a condom in your pocket and make your way to the exit. Remember. as you will never grow up if you avoid gaining personal experience. Chin up high and full speed ahead! Read.Before we part our ways You have to admit that you know many more things now than you did 98 pages ago. that open questions require open dialogue. uncover and cover things. You have to find the answer to them by yourself. we need to do one more thing: Proficiency Examination We have three different tests for you: 1. multiply by two.Clothes On and Clothes Off 3.. forget some altogether. subtract from the age in years of the oldest reader and divide by your grandfather’s shoe size. We tried to answer some questions. put some sense in your head.

but cools very rapidly. Favourite saying: Freeze and Rule! Favourite excuse: headache. 99 . of course). girls. Has nothing against sex. Often hangs around nude beaches and sex shops. You just need to be near enough to them! TYPES: THE ICEBERG – difficult to warm up. CLEVER BOOTS – knows everything about everything. The quiet and peaceful types can sometimes be much more interesting than they might appear at first sight. Given his profound knowledge of the female anatomy and psyche.1. During normal sex. Likes to throw comments at girls. HORNY HERBERT – knows for his extensive porn and erotica collection. hairstyle. but sees nothing going for it. characteristics. doing crossword puzzles and telling jokes about blondes. Likes reading. By completing this task successfully. measure them up. and exaggerate everything. parties. yawns and studies the chandelier. In time. either. stare and inspect. LOONY TUNE – very interesting when he was young. RULE: The more he diverges from real life. Recognition andforFamiliarisation – adescriptions andtask for thoseallcurrently on very important the lookout a future loved one. including sex (only theory. the shorter and less attractive is sex with him. The most ardent of the species think all men are pigs and should not be offered pearls (while thinking of themselves). A species which differs from others in everything – behaviour. often approached for advice. extremely boring in his old age. you will also begin to recognize persons other than those who are loud and self-centred. Your task is to read the texts and study the pictures carefully and try to match the descriptions with the pictures. clothes. differences and specific features of all your peers. Spends her entire life waiting for a prince on a white horse to ring her door bell. Her strongest weapon is the icy look with which she can instantly freeze a man fired up to melting point. you will have learned to recognise the various details. squeeze and pinch. The pictures of manner of possible (and impossible) potential loved ones are scrambled below. favourite music.

who waits for him for hours and days. even when throwing out the garbage. doesn’t smoke. not as good to listen to. More often found on the pages of classical novels than in real life. especially those about blondes. THE ATHLETE: Always at the gym or the match or in front of a TV screen. Generally well-liked or even admired by her circle. Takes his girl out to posh places. Responds to the nickname Barbie. Prefers being admired than loved. although he already has a fair moustache. Goes to bed early. the person who suffers the most is her mother. Slow to catch on to jokes. except when there are live sports on late TV. When he breaks up with his girl. Always noticed and always the subject of gossip. Known for the huge bouquets he brings. Always escorts her to her door on the way back from the date. Marries when a girl proposes to him. capacity and values. but only when the coach gives the go-ahead. Doesn’t shave. o If you tist at the ar !! TEDi!form e WANer pleasncen! h see 100 .BABY: Loves playing with those younger than he is. all pretty and fixed up. Has heard of sex. NORMAL NORMA: determines her sexual conduct according to her desires. Mother picks his clothes and father takes him to his barber. Without her consent. Doesn’t drink. but doesn’t really know what it is. and divorces when his wife leaves him. Usually picks sport over his girl. Quite fond of sex. ALWAYS CORRECT: Always arrives at dates on time or earlier. and even more difficult to get into wedlock. Always articulate and unambiguous. difficult to get into bed. and respected and loved by her partner. Most frequent communication with her: “Sit down and shut up” or “lie down and shut up”. BLONDE – Good to look at. Always dolled up to perfection. Loves attending family dinners.

Looks at parties as a waste of time. ADVICE: Don’t wait! If y e auth let th NCE! please AT O ED!m!. Snapped up as soon as he appears on the market. but only in close co-operation with his sexual partner. Has quite commendable knowledge of sex. Not very interested in the girls in his class – prefers female teachers and his mother’s lady friends. her boyfriend profits from it and his best friend’s in an eternal dilemma: stay honest and be unhappy. They always study. Makes up for her scant personal experience with vast literary knowledge. Has top marks. but is often seen at literary soirees and various lectures. conduct impeccable. consults her team of professional neighbourhood experts. her boyfriend scolds her – his best friend comforts her. NORMAL NICK: Never lies or cheats in sex. go on walks and the cinema and holidays together. she becomes Aunt Marjorie. or be dishonest and be happy (at least once)? DEAR MARJORIE – Offers professional advice for all questions of vital importance. he’s seeing another girl?” or “How can I approach her?” … In more difficult cases (“we’ve broken up”) . her boyfriend loves her – his best friend adores her. When she grows up.! T h WAN uld spootresis know ou sho 101 . such as: “What should I do. but won’t say No to a cup of tea. The girl is happy. health matters and birth control. but only from biology classes. THE PHILOSOPHER – loves school books. Always respects her wishes and needs. Can be kinky.BEST FRIEND’S GIRL – functions in the following manner: her boyfriend kisses her – his best friend understands her. Meticulous about hygiene. Doesn’t charge for her services.

2. Put on some soft music. Clot(or a photo-copy) on tothes Off – cutsimple name for an even edges the drawings hes On and Clo cardboard and a out carefully along their simpler task. Paste this page of the man and woman and all their apparel. dim the lights and take their clothes off and put them back on again to you heart’s content! By doing this you will get used to the basic actions in sex. 102 .

either.3. Put a “T” True of False a good statement test your knowledge think it’s matters. and pain and discomfort. and an “F” if you in sexual false. stifled. so satisfying he feels like doing it again HETEROSEXUAL – a person sexually attracted to persons of the opposite sex SCROTUM – a pouch of skin that contains the testes MENARCHE – the first menstruation experienced by a woman.the little square if you –think the opportunityistotrue. Marjorie and I have decided to tell you just one word – “rose” – because a rose is very similar to sex. tormented… but don’t do it others. in ERECTION – a rush of blood both to the head and to the penis FRIGIDITY – a lack of sexual feeling in males PROSTITUTE and GIGOLO – persons who charge money for providing sexual services VIRGO INTACTS. if you’re not. let alone charged money of it IMPOTENCE – the lack of sexual potency in a man BISEXUAL – a person sexually drawn to persons of both sexes EJACULATION – release of sperm from the male genitals. It can give you great joy and pleasure. it’s your own choice. so satisfying she feels like doing it again HETEROSEXUAL – a person sexually attracted to persons of the opposite sex SCROTUM – a plastic pouch that containes the testes MENARCHE – the first menstruation experienced by a man SOLUTIONS: ERECTION – a rush of blood both to the head and to the penis FRIGIDITY – a lack of sexual feeling in females PROSTITUTE and GIGOLO – persons who money charge for providing sexual services VIRGO INTACTS. if you’re careful. As always. VIRGIN – a girl or woman who hasn’t given herself to anyone yet. VIRGIN – a girl or woman who hasn’t given herself to anyone yet. Have fun as be as natural as possible. Good luck! 103 . let alone charged money of it IMPOTENCE – a man’s sexual potency BISEXUAL – a person drawn exclusively to women EJACULATION – release of sperm from the female genitals. We’re rooting for you with all our might! Don’t let yourself be lied to. Now that we have reached the end.

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