news It’s Like Poking, But In Real Life...

By Michelle Frantino
“If you build it, they will come,” is the quote posted on the new website, EduHookUps.Com. And after its launch just a few short months ago, come they did. The new social networking site attracted over 10,000 college students to its forums. The controversial site provides a place for students to post anonymous ads, looking for partners interested in having “casual sex.” “Jessica Cominsetta, a junior at Chicago University, posted an ad on, EduHookUps.com, reading, “Ready for fun, seeking hot stud, for a bedroom run.” Soon after the post went up, a user named “ChicagoBigShot” responded, and they set up a meeting place: outside the student recreation center two hours before midnight. They both would be wearing red. Cominsetta said they had “casual sex” and parted ways. “I’m not sure what his name was, I never asked,” Cominsetta admitted. “I didn’t want to know. I don’t plan on seeing him ever again, it was just sex.” The website is spreading throughout colleges across the country. It recently announced that the Stony Brook University forum has gone live. “The universities in New York are vital to our expansion,” said one of the sites founders, “Danny,” who asked not to be identified due to privacy reasons. “Stony Brook is our first SUNY School to join the site, due to the number of requests we received from students.” The website sets up forums for select universities that allow students with valid college emails to access their schools page. Once registered, users can post and respond to other ads only within their university forum. What makes EduHookUps.com different from other social networks is that it allows its users to remain anonymous. “We have a strict privacy policy in place in order to protect the anonymity of our users,” said one of the sites founders. Two undergraduate students, who wish to remain anonymous, first

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Vol. XXXII, Issue 14 |Wednesday, May 17, 2011

Screen grabs from eduhookups.com showcasing its registration system and real posts from Yale, Northwestern, University of Mississippi, University of Illinois and University of Chicago students.

launched the website in early March at Chicago University. “When the site first launched it got 300 to 500 Google searches a day,” said one of the creators. “Now we receive over 3,500 hits on the site every day.” “We never expected this to take off outside our home campus,” Danny said. “It started only as a fun project and we had no intention to make a personal profit.” When asked about the sites recent popularity and presence at the school, Chicago University said they had no comment. The website quickly expanded to Ohio State, Penn State, Boston University and Harvard within the first month of it opening. “The more universities added, the more news we stirred up,” said the creators. “Our primary source of advertising and news is split between television news programs and Facebook,” they added. According to the developers of the site, “The administration at both Chicago University and Loyola University both expressed concern about the site.” EduHookUps is not affiliated with any of the universities on its website, but gives schools an opportunity to have a link to their health centers on the site.

The site does also offer a “Safety” page where students can get tips about using the site in the safest way possible. “We encourage safe sex,” said one of the creators, “but we can’t take any legal liability to something that may happen as a result of using the site.” Stanford University is one of three colleges that have a link to the school’s “Sexual Health Peer Resource Center.” A representative from Stanford’s Health Center, who wished to remain anonymous, feels that this is the only way to promote any kind of safe sex associated with the site. “The website is attracting thousands of our students and based on what we hear, they are using the site to have one-time sexual encounters with an array of different individuals,” said the representative. “Any information we have to educate students about safe sex is better than nothing. I just hope they are reading it.” Students from Stanford University say the website has made going to class more exciting. Andrea Paladeno, a sophomore at the university, said she has “hooked-up” with five different men through the site. “I don’t think it’s that big of a deal,” Paladeno said. “People use Facebook and Craigslist for the same thing; it’s just not advertised exclusively

for sex.” The English major said that students around campus have been buzzing about the new site. “Everyone is on it, and everyone is talking about it,” Paladeno explains. “Nothing exciting usually happens here, so this is a big deal.” Stanford University did not wish to comment on the recent development of the schools forum on EduHookUps.com, but they did release a statement stating that the University does not support or endorse the website, EduHookUps.com. Corrine Clevensky, a senior at the university, says the mood of the school has changed since the arrival of EduHookUps. “More and more people are beginning to talk to each other on campus,” says Clevensky. “There has even been just ‘Hook Up’-themed parties,” he added. Matt Schneider, an avid EduHookUps.Com user, says the website has given the school a new atmosphere. “It’s like Northwestern got a face-lift,” jokes the Biology major. “Finally a website where students can just be honest and say, ‘I want sex.’” Stony Brook students seem to be excited about the launch of the website, which went live on April 26. A user of the site, who did not want to be named, said she has already had encounters with men through the site. “I hooked up with a guy last week,” said the sophomore. “It’s a great place to meet people who are interested in the same things as

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you.” The engineering major said she’s not afraid of sexually transmitted diseases. “I protect myself against disease, and I’m smart about where we meet— always in public and I always tell a friend.” Stony Brook seems prepared for the arrival of the site, having a number of resources available to students in order help protect themselves against sexually transmitted diseases. Kathleen Valerio, a health educator at Stony Brook University, works for The Center for Prevention and Outreach, which offers many events to promote and educate students on healthy choices. “At the beginning of each semester the RAs are given a packet from the CPO, which

contains condoms and information packets to be given out in a constructive way to residents,” Valerio said. The HIV prevention material is funded by the New York State’s HIV Prevention grant which Stony Brook applied for and received last May. The CPO also offers HIV testing events, counseling for students, along with training for residential hall employees, staff and campus groups on well-being and healthy development. Kim, a senior at Stony Brook who did not want to give her last name, says the school takes steps to educate students. “In comparison to other schools, Stony Brook has a wide variety of programs and events all designated to

health awareness.” The commuter at Stony Brook said even though she is not a resident, she received a packet from the CPO that included condoms and educational information. However, she said the concept of the website is unethical. “I think it’s dangerous and disgusting that students are using this site,” Kim said. “Even with Stony Brook’s effort to protect students, the website gives us a bad name.” Eduhookups.com is certainly growing in publicity, being featured on The Today Show, CBS Chicago and on Jay Leno. The site’s controversy has been largely debated in the media and as a result, the website decided to add a “Wall of Shame” where all negative press

about the network can be shared. The founders of the site want people to keep an open mind, referring to the websites motto, “Where fun comes to thrive.” Stony Brook University had no comment about the website. The creators of the site said earlier this week that they will be including all credited, four-year universities in the United States to their website, resulting in over 1,807 school forums by the end of the academic year. The creators of the site said they are moving full speed ahead. “We are hoping to add more features to the site and continue expanding,” said Danny. “We currently have over 350,000 visitors to the site a week, and we’re looking to double that number.”

Tour de Brook
By Carol Moran
The grease stains at the bottom of Dean Miller’s corduroy pants are a testament to the trek he makes to campus every morning. Miller, director of the Center for News Literacy at Stony Brook, hops on his maroon Mongoose mountain bike and rings the metal bell mounted on his handlebars to warn pedestrians of his approach, quite often with a bowtie around his neck. “It’s a lot cheaper,” Miller said. “I think it’s going to cause my insurance to go down because my mileage is nil. It’s environmentally sound, and there is no parking space needed.” Students and faculty at Stony Brook are shifting gears along with Miller towards the more sustainable and trendy mode of transportation. There are over six miles of bike paths spread across campus, and the more than 100 bike racks are often filled to capacity. “The culture is changing,” Director of Environmental Stewardship Amy Provenzano said. “I think everyone’s healthy habits are improving, so I think people think more about using a bike instead of a car.” With gas prices soaring, biking is a cheaper alternative. Whether or not people are attempting to reduce the amount of fossil fuels they burn, Matt Aiello-Lammens, a manager at Freewheel Collective on campus, said people are trying to save money on gas by riding bikes. Starting within the next week or two, the bike racks at Stony Brook will be home to 25 custom-made, shiny red partially allocated towards safety equipment like helmets and lights, and partially allocated towards bike parts, such as lubricants, chains and wires, according to Aiello-Lammens. But despite the increase in bikers at Stony Brook and the safety equipment that the collective hands out, biking can be dangerous. “I think it’s hard to be bike aware as a driver in an area where there aren’t a lot of bicyclists,” Aiello-Lammens said. “You travel a lot faster on the roads here...On 347 you can do 65 miles per hour, so it’s always going to be a little bit more difficult for bicyclists in the suburbs.” Political Science Professor Helmut Norpoth has been riding his bike to work since he moved to the area in 1979, and he said cars have a blind spot for bicycle riders. “You have to be very observant yourself, and that’s the only thing that counts.” New York State does not have a helmet law, though there are New York State Vehicle and Traffic laws that apply to bikes. Provenzano says they highly suggest that participants in the bike share program wear a helmet. Participants must also watch a safety video provided by the National Traffic Safety Board. Everhart has been in two biking accidents since she came to Stony Brook, one of which left her with two broken ribs last semester after a student that was texting while walking knocked her over on the zebra path. That didn’t deter her from biking, though she doesn’t hop onto her green fixed-gear without a helmet.

bikes equipped with bells, lights and big metal baskets, as part of a recently developed bike share program. As a signatory of the American Colleges and Universities President’s Climate Commitment, Stony Brook has promised to be carbon neutral by 2050. The bike share program is meant to reduce vehicle traffic from commuting residents and faculty. Twenty-five students will be chosen through a lottery system to participate in the program. After a $15 per semester fee and a $15 deposit, they’ll receive a helmet and a key that will unlock any of the 25 bikes that are to be stationed across campus. “We have close to 100 applicants already so we’re so excited that there seems to be such interest in it,” Provenzano said. “We’re hoping that we get a great core of students to start because we’re looking for what works really great for the program and what are some of the things we can improve on. Our hope is to expand the program.” But before the bike share program

was even in the discussion stages, Freewheel Collective, a non-profit bike shop that offers students the opportunity to rebuild donated and found bicycles, as well as repair their own bikes for free or for a minor cost, was harboring the two-wheeled trend. Biology and evolutionary ecology students started the collective in an off-campus basement before moving it to a community center and then to the farthest corner of the Stony Brook Union basement, just behind the anime club. The noisy, fluorescently lit room is filled with bike parts and the sounds of students pumping up tires or brushing rust off metal bike petals. “Anybody—students, faculty, community members are welcome,” Manager Jennifer Everhart, said. “We provide the knowledge and a lot of the parts, and in turn, the people come down there and get to learn how to fix up their bicycles—they provide the labor, we provide the knowledge.” The Graduate Student Organization funds the collective. The money is

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Editorial Board
Executive Editor Nick Statt Managing Editor Carol Moran Associate Editor Evan Goldaper Business Manager Siobhan Cassidy Production Manager Mark Greek News Editors Inquire Within Features Editor Alyssa Melillo Arts Editor Alexa Rubinstein Multimedia Editor Vincent Barone Ula Gradowska Copy Editor Lauren DuBois Sports Editor Vincent Barone Social Media Editor Kenny Mahoney Ombudsman Carolina Hidalgo
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editorials
Here at the Stony Brook Press, we are not critical of events, public figures or campus administration simply because we see it as our role to undercut everything around us. That is a sorry definition of “alternative,” and as the campus’ alternative paper, we would like to be trusted to go beyond the surface of sensational negativity just to be different, despite the fact that our campus’ primary publication seems content on never rising above licking the boots of the establishment. That said, let it be known that our last issue featuring a comparison and accompanying editorial between the recent Bruno Mars concert and SUNY Purchase’s Culture Shock festival was not in anyway a feeble attempt to dig up a source of criticism just for the sake of being critical. It was meant to highlight not only differing viewpoints when it comes to future campus event planning, but also to make it very clear just how much money is being used for this campus’ entertainment, to what end it is being used and how it could be improved. We stand by our decision to denounce the Bruno Mars concert on the grounds that he was a safe choice, one that does not represent a true college act and one whose success at Stony Brook on May 6 was, from the very start, to be measured by ticket sales and the demonstration of the organizers’ hard work, but not by how much the performance would represent a true and calculated desire of the campus body. Now, we recognize that it is necessary to point out just how much of a success the concert was, and it is also

Vol. XXXII, Issue 14 |Wednesday, May 17, 2011

Round Two
necessary to attribute that success to the determination and seemingly endless vision of Student Programming Agency Director Moiz Khan, the face pasted on the primary alien of the Mars Attacks! front cover of our last issue. Yes, Khan made more enemies than he ever imagined by refusing to compromise, as he says in the graciously allotted opinion space of the Statesman in a piece title, “Tearing Red Tape and Breaking Down Silos.” When he took his position in USG last year, it was amid the controreaders into thinking not only that we were advising that USG should attempt a Culture Shock, but also that it was even possible for USG to do so. So first, let us give you said context. SUNY Purchase is a drastically different school encased in an equally different administration, and both factors contribute greatly to its ability to orchestrate something like Culture Shock. Not only does the school’s undergraduate government own the space on which the concert is held, but the school is also centered around the arts, including majors in sound production and other areas of event planning that allow them to pull straight from their student body to organize and run the event. Purchase also has a long history of performing arts and a number of bands have deep rooted connections to the school, including this year’s organizer, lo-fi legend R. Stevie Moore. These differences make the likelihood of something like Culture Shock at Stony Brook near-impossible due to the extreme limitations put on campus events from organizations like University Police, the private security firm forced onto anyone who books the Sport Complex and the dozens of other barriers and restrictions that exist here at Stony Brook but not Purchase, as Khan himself would happily point out to anyone who asks. But this likelihood would only be near-impossible if we decided to stupidly dive in head first. That was not what we were implying USG should do, nor did we think that dozens of cheap bands that no one has heard of mixed in with only a handful of recognizable names is the

Staff
Sam Aldenton Michelle Bylicky Lionel Chan Natalie Crnosija Mike Cusanelli Eric DiGiovanni Brett Donnelly Amanda Douville Lauren DuBois Sarah Evins Andrew Fraley Colleen Harrington Samuel Katz Nicole Kohn Iris Lin Andi Liao Erica Mengouchian Frank Myles Howie Newsberkman Vanessa Ogle Carlos Parreno Gabriel Panadero Jessica Rybak Emily Torkel Matt Willemain

About Us
The Stony Brook Press is published fortnightly during the academic year and twice during summer session by The Stony Brook Press, a student run non-profit organization funded by the Student Activity Fee. The opinions expressed in letters, articles and viewpoints do not necessarily reflect those of The Stony Brook Press as a whole. Advertising policy does not necessarily reflect editorial policy. For more information on advertising and deadlines call (631)632-6451. Staff meetings are held Wednesdays at 1:00 pm. First copy free. For additional copies contact the Business Manager. The Stony Brook Press Suites 060 & 061 Student Union SUNY at Stony Brook Stony Brook, NY 11794-3200 (631) 632-6451 Voice (631) 632-4137 Fax Email: sbpress@gmail.com

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versial restructuring of SAB, but in only one year in the post, he brought numerous acts that performed to increasing crowds, with Bruno Mars marking the culmination of all his effort. Khan wanted to change the university, and he most certainly did. However, the changes are not always completely positive, and not always cleanly and efficiently looking towards a better future for our school or its hugely expensive events, as we wanted to point out in the comparison. But this comparison, as it stands in our last issue, is noticeably lacking context. We would like to hold ourselves accountable for misleading any

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tickets like Bruno Mars. Khan sees the success of the Bruno Mars’ May 6 concert as “...the foundation for the beginning of a diverse and vibrant campus life,” according to his Statesman opinion. However, it would have made much more sense to have not gunned for the obviously unrealistic 42 band extravaganza of Culture Shock, which again was not what we were implying, but to try and get a more college-geared artist like Lupe Fiasco. Not only is the 18-24 age range a primary market for the young hip-hop artist’s music, but he also dropped a new album this past March, making him far more timely than Bruno Mars. We only suggest Lupe Fiasco because we know that Khan tried to secure him and failed, ending up with Bruno Mars only after Lupe Fiasco pulled out at the last minute to perform in New Orleans. But instead of trying to find someone equitable to Lupe Fiasco, we ended up with a Billboard Hot 100 artist who is constantly played on the radio. That shows that Khan had the right mindset to begin with, but didn’t care in the end when he discovered that he could still sell out the Sports Complex with an act like Bruno Mars. So Khan may dream of a concert on the Staller steps, of huge acts just as big as Bruno Mars or Lupe Fiasco performing alongside each other, even possibly at a multi-day festival. But because that is not realistic, Khan sidesteps to achieve what he sees as his goal of creating a better Stony Brook experience. That means settling on Bruno Mars when nothing else pulls through and making the best out of it even if it means putting on a concert that is not traditionally geared towards college students. But the more you sidestep to maneuver constraints, the higher the chance that you will like where you’re standing over where you were originally aiming. That’s the fear. We at The Press want to make sure those original aims are at least apparent if they are no longer in the sights and to scrutinize the decisions of those in power not just because it’s our money being spent, but most importantly because it’s our college experience on the line.

Hate what you see? E-mail your letters to editors@sbpress.com
right direction for an end-of-the-year concert. We simply wanted to highlight how a concert of that magnitude manages to cater to multiple music tastes, and for far lower price tag. The key factor was that Culture Shock was a massively participatory for-thestudents, by-the-students effort that was 100 percent college-geared, which is not at all what you can say about Bruno Mars. We were not arguing that for the same amount money, Stony Brook should try and get 42 artists, many of which are obscure. However, Stony Brook could have gotten 10 artists, say three or four in the price range of Immortal Technique and six or seven in the price range of Best Coast. But that’s not what Khan wanted. And here arises the ideological difference between what Khan sees as good for the school, which is what we at The Press wanted to highlight, and what we think would be a step in the right direction. Khan did not want multiple bands because multiple bands means less notoriety for each act, which ultimately reduces the potential for a lightning-quick sellout of

Goodbye, But Not Forever...
I’m not one for saying goodbyes; especially when faced with the reality that my involvement with The Press is coming to an end. I’m still puzzled. How do you say goodbye to a paper that has served you well, taught you so much and provided solace for four years? You can’t. Everything I’ve learned and experienced within the walls of Suite 060 of the Stony Brook Student Union has become a part of who I am today, for better and for worse. For four years I’ve had the extreme pleasure of working with and getting to know some of the brightest, most humorous and most genuine people that I have ever encountered in my 21 years of life. These same people were what made my time at The Press memorable, and in the past year alone, possible. During the beginning of the fall semester, The Press had undergone an identity crisis, which had been developing since the previous year. Was The Press going to continue to be the outlandish paper to grace Stony Brook’s campus with its rich satire and sharp and witty commentary? Or would The Press revert back to its origin and highlight the work of investigatory and feature style writing for the purposes of informing the campus, promoting progress and inciting debate? I can only hope that it has been clear that we’ve at least attempted to be the latter, a process, which resulted in a departing staff who were reluctant to such change. These were difficult but very necessary times, even if it risked being impeached. Since then, The Press has managed to be at the forefront of campus coverage, such as the closure of

Stony Brook Southampton, consistently provides rich narratives on the lives and stories of faculties and students and still preserving the ever-so-important attitude of challenging authority. The pinnacle of our year probably came when we hosted Dr. Daniel Ellsberg of the Pentagon Papers to talk on campus at a time when freedom of the press and government transparency was put into question. Where The Press has come and how it got there is something I will forever cherish, but nowhere near the endless hours, late nights and early mornings I got to spend with the best staff any Editor could ask for and the best friends any person could ever dream of.

I’m comforted by the fact that the future of paper couldn’t be in better hands, but I am now at a crossroads—that sudden transition into the “real world.” Looking back at it all, I’m extremely happy that it happened, but saddened that it is all coming to an end. Until next time, I guess this is goodbye, but not forever. Sincerely, Najib Aminy Executive Editor 2010-2011

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Vol. XXXII, Issue 14 |Wednesday, May 17, 2011

Spending on Science: What it Means for Our Future
By Nick Statt
For months, Brookhaven National Lab was staring at the face of devastating House budget cuts of $1.1 billion that threatened to cut the staff by 930, or one third, and potentially discontinue the operations of internationally renown facilities like the RHIC particle accelerator. But a budget compromise released on April 8, called FY11, reduced that $1.1 billion to only $35 million, marking a definitive effort to not let science take the back seat even amid the nation’s struggling economic recovery. “We don’t yet have any new info on how or if the final budget deal will affect us,” said Media & Communications Manager Pete Genzer, but he stressed the words of BNL’s Deputy Director for Science and Technology Doon Gibbs, who said in a statement provided by Genzer, “…We deeply appreciate Senator Schumer’s, Senator Gillibrand’s, and Congressman Bishop’s support for science and their willingness to protect the Lab and its programs.” Despite the drastic reduction in cuts, the political intricacies of the decision make it difficult to claim the potential passing of FY11 a victory for science. As the economic situation fails to meet the nation’s spending standards, all sectors, not just science, are taking big hits. But proponents of scientific research, including scientists and politicians alike, have ignited a fight to prove the worth of institutions like BNL in their contributions to not just scientific development, but all areas of the U.S.’s

Photo Credit: Brookhaven National Lab The Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider (RHIC) at Brookhaven National Lab. If the House cuts were enacted, operations at RHICwould have to be cut back, which would lead to layoffs of 300 science and support personnel, according to wesupportbnl.org, a website created by Rep. Tim Bishop to garner support against the cuts.

future growth. Dr. John H. Marburger III, currently vice president of research at Stony Brook University, the university’s former president and a former Science Advisor to President George W. Bush, fought back voraciously when the original budget cuts, which came packaged in the House of Representatives’ HR 1 plan, hit the public limelight back in February. In a April 7 Huffington Post op-ed titled, “House’s Science Cuts Threaten Our Future,” Marburger made a stand for science research, writing, “In the negotiations now underway to determine what share of needed budget cuts must fall to the tiny and already beleaguered domestic discretionary budget, the role

of scientific research must be acknowledged for what it is: the key to our nation’s future.” He also cited an estimate from economists that “approximately half of post-WWII economic growth is directly attributable to R&D-fueled technological progress.” Now that FY11 has replaced the draconian HR 1, Marburger can reflect on his appeal to such future progress being placed in the hands of research. “What I intended to convey…was that science is all-pervasive in the general cultures and economies of modern nations, and especially the U.S.,” he said in an email message. “Science, however it’s construed, is a small-time player in a budget game that is now of world-historical dimensions. My op-ed was a

plea to keep it from being trampled by the elephants,” he added. But Marburger, with his rich political background, understands the complications involved with FY11 and asserts that the resolution did more forestalling than it did solving by way of gearing itself more towards non-controversial cuts than those to big science. “It is hard to consider the FY11 budget a ‘victory for science.’ I would say it is more like a confirmation that the parties regarded big cuts in science as too controversial to push any farther at this time. That is good news, but it gives few signals about forthcoming budgets,” he said. Rep. Tim Bishop (D-Southampton) was another major player in the backlash campaign against HR 1 throughout the last few months. He organized a large body of bipartisan support and even set up a website, www.wesupportbnl.org, according to Spokesman Oliver Longwell. Despite Bishop being in full support of federal spending cuts, which he expressed through the voting support of a $38 billion federal year-to-year spend-

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ing cut, he, like Marburger, also saw HR 1 as a threat to future development. “I recognize that we cannot get our budget under control without painful cuts and without compromise. The litmus test I will apply is whether cuts are painful as opposed to destructive and whether they will cause real damage to Long Island’s economy,” he said in a statement provided by Spokesman Longwell. “I will continue to advocate against cuts to scientific research and education that will hurt our ability to compete in the 21st century global economy and hamstring future growth,” he added. Longwell himself expresses extreme concern over such spending cuts and what they mean for the future. “Frankly, I am dumbfounded that the Republican majority in the House of Representatives voted to gut federal investment in science, which would cede the leadership of the next generation of scientific innovation to China, India, and other nations who are massively ramping up their own investments in research,” he said. “Fortunately for Brookhaven Lab, Long Island, and our nation, wiser judgments were able to prevail in this case,” he added. Brookhaven National Lab, the central focus of these cuts here on Long Island, is home to more than just expensive research projects like particle accelerators, and the proponents of scientific research as a key to our future development make that very clear.

One such example is BNL’s participation in the Department of Energy program, America’s Next Top Energy Innovator. The program helps increase the number of startup companies by reducing the cost of options to license available patents to $1,000, which is a fraction of the regular cost according to the BNL press release dated May 2. The ‘option’ refers to the ability for a company to obtain a 6-month time window to apply for a patent license for a particular technology, but only if they submit an intensive business plan outlining their strategy to market the technology. The program, although only a pilot that will remain in effect until December 15, 2011, is aimed at building a better future in corporate science. “We believe the program will increase the number of successful companies and create new jobs that our nation needs — particularly clean energy jobs,” said Walter Copan, manager of Brookhaven Lab’s Office of Technology Commercialization and Partnerships, in BNL’s official press release. Dr. Marburger, one of the most politically and scientifically astute proponents of this idea that science is a principle foundation of our future, is not too optimistic about federal spending on research down the line. “All ‘big science’ is at risk in the coming years, mainly because it is big and Congress is under extreme pressure to save money,” he said.

Photo Credit: stonybrook.edu John H. MarburgerIII

But he steadfastly stands by all forms of science, even the enormously costly projects like the RHIC particle accelerator. “These projects are not just ‘probing around for answers.’ They are part of a deep-seated passion that humanity has to understand the world it lives in…today we have extraordinary tools that are revealing astonishing aspects of our world,” he said. “This is serious stuff – as serious as the art and religion and literature that many people think are what make life worth living.” Marburger even makes the claim that esoteric science is still supported by the public, despite them not understanding it. “Einstein is the world‘s most popular scientist, and Feynman is a

popular legend. People love the idea of black holes, dinosaurs, expanding universes, extra dimensions and space exploration,” he said. What it comes down to for Marburger, and in a sense the entire scientific and political community that is pushing so hard to keep science aloft, is the universal benefits that the hundreds of thousands of projects all around the world are providing to everyone, not just the scientists doing the experiment. “The public deserves to know why their most talented and productive members care so passionately about these things. The public wants to share that passion, and it’s up to scientists to help. The SSC scientists explained their search for the Higgs boson in a way that made it seem as if we were just looking for some more particles, like the ones we already found but smaller,” he said. Marburger is referring to the theoretical Higgs boson particle that the largest particle accelerator on the planet, Switzerland’s LHC, is currently searching for. It is, as the Standard Model of particle physics suggests, the source of all particles’ mass. “The idea of ‘explaining mass’ seems an odd thing to drive such passion, and in fact that’s not really what it’s all about. What is at stake is a vision of the nature of all reality. Try explaining that to your congressman.”

Hotel Lawsuit New York State Supreme Court Judge Ralph Gazzillo ruled last month that the two plaintiffs trying to stop the construction of a 135-room hotel on campus had no legal standing to bring a lawsuit against SUNY—or that they didn’t prove that sufficient harm would result from the action challenged. Attorney George Locker said the two plaintiffs, Michelle Pizer, a Stony Brook alumnus and former president of the environmental club, and Muriel Weyl, longtime community member and former faculty of Stony Brook University, will appeal the decision. “We fully expect to win the appeal,” Locker said in a phone interview. “I have already notified SUNY through their lawyer the Attorney General that if we win an appeal, as we expect, and if any work is

NEWS IN BRIEF

done on the site, we will demand that everything be removed and the land restored.” The court’s decision on the appeal could take anywhere from six months to over a year, according to Locker. Pizer, Weyl and Stony Brook Environmental Conservancy, Inc., a non-profit organization, originally filed the lawsuit in December 2009, on claims that the special legislation enabling SUNY to lease 13 acres of campus to a private developer, Harbor Construction Management, had expired before SUNY entered the lease, among other complaints, according to court records. According to Stony Brook’s website, it plans to build the hotel on 11 acres of land east of the Administration parking garage. The project will undergo an environmental assessment, and the building will comply with various green building standards.

Carol Moran

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Features

Vol. XXXII, Issue 14 |Wednesday, May 17, 2011

Stony Brook 2023
by Carol Moran

Stony Brook University has plans for major renovations to begin in 2013. And to prepare, the Faculty Student Association is digging deeper into students’ pockets. The FSA Board of Directors passed a budget Friday night that includes a $35 increase in the residential meal plan fee and an increase in the prices of food on campus, which will be partially allocated to the construction of a new dining facility between the Wang Center and Mendelsohn Quad, and partially allocated to extended hours at the Union Commons, the Union Deli and Starbucks, according to members of the FSA Board of Directors. The university plans to complete the new dining facility to accommodate students during the reconstruction of the Stony Brook Union. To further raise money towards the new dining facility, the University will close Campus Connection, the H-Quad dining facility, next fall. To compensate, the Union deli will be open until three a.m., and the Union Commons and Starbucks until midnight. On top of the $35 fee increase, residential meal plans will increase by 2 percent, as they do annually, to com-

pensate for increases in the cost of living and inflation. Since the fee is restricted to residential meal plans, the FSA voted to increase the price of food, so that the burden of funding the construction projects will also be carried by commuters, faculty, and students on the

hours of the Union dining facilities stay the same and have the meal plan fee increase by half as much. Enciso said he abstained because “the students have not been appropriately consulted” as to the allocation of their money.

“...the University will close Campus Connection, the H-squad dining facility, next fall.” “To compentsate, the Union deli will be open until three a.m.
budget or west apartments meal plan. Students with the residential meal plans that are already paying the fee will receive a discount at the registers so that they aren’t affected by the price increase. David Mazza, Undergraduate Student Government vice president for communications, was the only FSA Board of Directors member to vote against the budget, and Froylan Enciso, President of the Graduate Student Organization, was the only to abstain. Mazza said he would rather see the USG President Matt Graham, who voted in favor of the FSA budget, said students can avoid paying the fee increase and the rise in the price of food by living off campus and cooking, and that he is supportive of renovations to the dining facilities, which haven’t caught up with the renovations of residences in the past 20 years. However, he said it’s a tough decision to place the cost of the construction onto the students. “It’s because the state isn’t providing the proper support for a public univer-

sity that it should be,” he said. The plans to tear down and reconstruct the Union and build the new dining facility nearby are only a small portion of the outline the University has drawn, which includes the construction of new residences, academic buildings and other dining facilities. According to Barbara Chernow, vice president for facilities and services, the master plan will close the gap between East and West campus, move the School of Marine and Atmospheric Sciences to the academic mall and balance student housing more evenly across campus. Before construction begins, the University needs to submit a budget request to Governor Andrew Cuomo and the State Legislature, which, if fully funded, will cover the construction projects until 2023. Chernow said that the new and renovated buildings will support the enrollment projections for Stony Brook—about 3,000 new students, as well as the academic plan and the research plan for the university.

The Stony Brook Press

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features

Vol. XXXII, Issue 14 |Wednesday, May 17, 2011

The Stony Brook Ticket
Additional reporting by Vin Barone, Mark Greek, Andi Liao and Alyssa Melillo

by Najib Aminy

As persistent as Stony Brook University is in attempting to get across the image of being red hot, there will always be one color that the thousands of commuters and residents on this campus can better identify with—it’s the color yellow and it helped contribute to $960,590 in parking fines in 2009. These yellow envelopes carry the parking tickets that are issued every year amongst more than 13,000 parking stalls and what 22-year-old senior Carlos Parreno angrily noticed on the windshield of his car this past Tuesday. “I’ve been ticketed too many times,” said Parreno, an English major who is now commuting after dorming on campus. “When I pay for the whole day of parking, I want them to give me a ticket so I can say ‘You’re finally wrong,” he said, still angry over his recent ticket, which he admitted to his own negli-

gence. Since 2005, there has been a roughly 40 percent increase of tickets issued and an overall 65 percent increase of ticket revenue from 2005 to 2009, according to records obtained through a freedom of information act request by The Press. That approximates to an average of 50 tickets per day in 2005 compared to 83 tickets in 2009. And since that time, the price of a ticket fine for parking illegally has increased from $15 in 2007 to $30 the following year. There has also been an introduction of residential zones, where residents are limited to parking to the quad

“I hate it. It’s such an utter waste of my money,” Miller said. “It’s always my fault, but I’m always looking for a break. It’s a show no mercy policy.”

they live in. “We do have to convince people of the mass transit theory and go against that Long Island 7-11 mentality where you can drive right up to class,” said

James O’Connor, director of transportation and parking on campus. “Ultimately, it increased the traffic on the roadway, increased our carbon foot print and reduced our sustainability,” said O’Connor about the old form of residence parking. As for the money, it goes back to ensuring that more tickets are issued and safety is ensured, at least according to Barbara Chernow, vice president of facilities and services. “It’s used to promote safety, because if we didn’t have a traffic enforcement staff, handicap spaces and fire lanes would be continually blocked and the number of accidents would skyrocket.” Of the total 30,255 tickets issued in 2009, more than half were unauthorized parking violations while there were 9,656 expired meter violations. To put it in comparison, there were 9,190 unauthorized parking violations in total in 2005. For Dean Miller, director of the Stony Brook News Literacy program, parking has made him ride his bike to work as often as he can. “I use my car as little as possible,” said Miller, who will leave notes on his car pleading not to get ticketed, as was the case when he was a new professor without a permit. “When I do drive, I find I’m going to pay. It’s going to cost me 30 or 40 bucks.” Miller has been ticketed for an expired meter, parking in the stadium lot after he couldn’t find parking in the faculty lot on the day of a final he had to prepare and for parking his car at the train station overnight. The bright yellow envelope is something Miller has become familiar with quite well in his two years as a professor. “I hate it. It’s such an utter waste of my money,” he said. “It’s always my fault, but I’m always looking for a break. It’s a show no mercy policy.” That little mercy is the reality Chernow has come to expect out of the thousands of people who park their cars on campus, comparing it to the transportation issue in any major city. “I think if you’re going to travel to Manhattan, or if you’re going to any city, you’re going to have to use mass transit when you can or just leave enough time to find parking.” It’s why Miller has come to think of James Simons’ recent construction of the Simons Center to be one of pure ingenuity. “The smartest thing James Simons did was he gave those professor gated private parking,” said Miller. “That’s the ultimate perk on this campus, it’s parking where you know you can always park.”

The Stony Brook Press

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Parking Is Not For the Self-Entitled
As someone who has commuted to Stony Brook for the entirety of his four-year tenure, I can safely say that I have never had an issue parking on this campus. Ever. Never ever. A shocking statement, I know. For most of us, it’s impossible to go a day without witnessing a fellow classmate speed-walk into class four minutes late, muttering swear words under exasperated breaths and cursing the express bus or the lack of spots in the metered lots. I can only imagine the stressful circumstances under which such an occurrence could happen... After awaking from a lonely night of watching Family-Guy, your mom walks into your room to announce that you have class in thirty minutes. With little time to spare, you make a zombie-like shuffle into the bathroom to clean the shame and disappointment out of your matted locks, but not without a Bruno Mars playlist blasting through the speakers of your iHome. After a lackadaisical washing, you somehow manage to dress yourself with the outfit your mother so kindly prepared for you. With nary a bite if your freshly-popped Pop Tart, you sling your backpack over your shoulder and walk outside to the car that your parents bought you. You might actually make it on time today, but you just can’t begin your twelve-minute commute to campus without a stop at the Dunkin’ Donuts drivethrough. After cruising past every other parking lot on campus except for South-P, you miraculously find that every spot that doesn’t require a special permit has been taken. You reluctantly circle back to the south end of campus, park your car in one of

by Kenny Mahoney

the hundreds of empty spaces, and wait a whopping three whole minutes to get on the bus back to the academic mall. If any part of this story resonates with you, you are most likely an overgrown woman/manchild. Your belief that the earth revolves around you and should somehow allot excuses for your own shortcomings is what is constantly making you late to class. It’s not the lack of spots on campus, it’s not the evil parking-enforcers and it’s not the same traffic that you run into every fucking day. It’s you. But I’m not just writing this to berate you; I’m here to offer you some advice as well. I’ll shorten it to two words, because I know what a task it is to draw your attention away from the book you should have read yesterday or the essay you would have started a week ago. Be. Early. By giving yourself an extra 15 to 30 minutes than you normally do, I can almost guarantee that you will not only be on time, but you’ll be less stressed and more focused once you get to class. Not only that, but you’ll avoid lines at the entrances and for the buses because you’ll get there before all of the man-babies who arrive at the same time. While I know it’s a lot to ask a student who somehow manages to wake up before 11 a.m. to get to class to wake up even earlier, I think you’ll find that showing a little bit of self-control during your Stony Brook career will pay off not just in parking your car.

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Vol. XXXII, Issue 14 |Wednesday, May 17, 2011

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the stony brook PRESS

A NOTE FROM THE EDITORS
It’s that time of year again: time to stress out over finals and wish you’d never piled on those extra three credits or left that paper until the night before it was due or gone out partying until you found yourself up a tree wondering why everyone was suddenly so much shorter than you. We’ve been there. Especially up that tree. So we’ve assembled The Stony Brook Press’ Literary Supplement to give you a few moments of fun while you toil away and try to survive the end of this semester. Because we know you will. And if you don’t, well, we were serious about being up that tree. You can come join us if you’d like.

CONTRIBUTOR LIST
ROMAN BELOPOLSKY LIZ EARLY SARAH EVINS COLLEEN O’CONNOR GINNY MULÉ EVAN GOLDAPER GABRIEL PANADERO R.J. HUNEKE ULA GRADOWSKA COVER & PULLOUT ART: ROBERT POND

LITERARY SUPPLEMENT 2011

ROMAN BELOPOLSKY
Mi T ormentita
Gentle are the pillows of the huddled little toes, peeking playfully from underneath the rouge sheet lipsticked on the bed seldom still. Gentle are the curls Of the roads spiraling Up the mountain Lost in a little storm that hovers above my face. Gentle are the fingertips grazing on the spine of a whispered question slips out in place of a snore “Can you get me a glass of water?” Blindly, I will. Gentle are the slips kissed more meaningful than anything intended, as we are two leaves carried to a touch at the edge of a pond. A darkness has imploded and the aftermath was the immense thump of a collective heart.

POEMS

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May 2, 2011
A man is dead and yet, millions rejoiceWaving banners of revenge.

A light switch is flicked, spears of crimson light extend from millions of throatsPraising the murderer’s murderer. Somewhere deep- a corpse lies, a corpse the weight of thousands. A corpse of shards. Somewhere a corpse lies, it weighs down the earth and the earth beneath it collapses into a trench the dimensions of a New York City block. A man is deadI turn to Donne and I ask: Is there an exception for whom the bell should toll?

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POEMS

the stony brook PRESS

ROMAN BELOPOLSKY
My Mistress
these old (forty-something-sexy) books; my Sofias, my Esperanzas, my little poems on introduction. I’ve overheard (people say): “I love old books, they have such character- ” -they are characters with eyes slim grinning (a little white) over a slender shoulder. my loves, my mistressesI “my” and imply I am theirs. I don’t own, even if I’ve paid, I haven’t bought- I’ve invitedwe run away from their loveless marriages, so loveless they were widows. spine reclining against my palm they’re- their own sovereignty. in their islands they speak freely, and in my thoughts they coo and never looked better in that leather-tight dress.

A Man That’s Always Smiling
in the sleepless toro, there is a place that sleeps dreamless. the appendix, the pueblo Alcalá. down the cobble callé a sign creaks in the somnambulant breeze, “la biblioteca,” a bar without a book. it does have shelves, long vacant shells, “maybe they read webs,” and a man that’s always smiling. David is smiling, impossibly smiling in that lost place that couldn’t afford it’s place on a map. David is smiling in the lint of a forgotten pocket“because I believe in God,” his smile said, I smiled back and then I spoke and his long moreno ears listened the way the earth listens blankly- “find God,” his smile replied “what the hell does that have to do with anything?” he just smiled, he was drunk. I turned from David, from the smile, from the impossibility, back out onto the callé I knew so well, to find some place to REST.

LITERARY SUPPLEMENT SPRING 2011

POEMS
Below the cobalt mountain crown, opium fogs the distance of the eye. the noise of slapping flesh, a firing line of proclamations of truths and phoenix. Madness?! Madness is weeping in the corner, reeking of secreted fear from the sight of them: these poets Below the sapphire mountain crown, how they celebrate the coming night, when the open eye is closed, when black canvas wraps the valley, when the looming mountains vanish and take with them their shacklesand a word becomes a poem, and a poem becomes a spell, and a poet is nothing less than a sorcerer of strange beauty.

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Below the Looming Mountain Crown
The looming azure mountains crown the valley of the Okopipi, the dwelling of the poets. There: the bursting banquet, mandolines and fiddles, zanzibari thumps, didgeriedoos and hang drums (a rusted tuba hums) along the raucous eveningShadows sit in silence, others loud as howl-Shifting figures, tracing of strange hats, a feminine figure has borrowed Napolean’s. All are seated, nearly always seated- stillness of the body is their way.

“Attraction” - ULA GRADOWSKA

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POEMS
Beverage Kiss

the stony brook PRESS

Writing a poem in ten minutes On lots of coffee: Sacred steaming roasts, like kisses Wet grasping Rejuvenating, invigorating, inspiring The cup tilts Grappling Like my lover’s trembling thighs Her moistened lips Her tenderest kiss Rushing and sloshing Slowing and sweating Bare Delicious… Beverage Kiss.

Modernity
Fuck modern philosophy The case needs action Not the whining of bookish Timidity! Study the great philosophs Wield the very books To replace the dumb rulers Fanaticists Sitting by idly rapes us To burn the soft brains Will file the ideas (Ground) down to ash Dust sticks to the human race Cobwebs cling to ears We don’t move or hear the cries Of suffering Sit still and rust with TV Why disturb selfish Contentedness, apathy, Or greediness? We have modernity.

LITERARY SUPPLEMENT SPRING 2011

Chasms
Crossing countless chasms of Ginsbergian trials The hand is taken the foot is scorched about the ruined Ground Zero

R.J. HUNEKE

POEMS

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And you took my hand from the soft silent ocean depths of emerald flashes And brought me up to the thick ignoble air Terror spreads like a ruptured praying mantis egg-sack Tiny ripples escape, sheer numbers overrun and within an hour the green expressions are gone In their wake one might remain to devour the outlying epicenter of its masses Unless the masses take the youth by the swiveling triangular head and make food of this So the mantis is surrounded on a hedge-island; a being that was not given the time to grow In its buried Depth But the hand reaches into the gaping mouth of the deadly sharp bush-cave For faith in the risk, the difference, could mean art’s survival and humanity’s The twiggy abyss scratches and claws at the hand pushing forward and contorting Blood spills, inevitable in this life, but the hand moves, moves, grasps and cradles: The baby mantis is saved.

Still flickering like a worn brass candle-lantern in the rusty wind shivering that is not ignorable The hand is taken on and up the rubble Above Building, building, building Broader, deeper, taller Below Why have the pits grown in the open aired urban clusters And the rural shrinking back-woods Americana Jerky-laden teeth Fuck Me for jerky, so long as you’re not a Yankee The hand holds me up when all of this tugs on my sticky ventricles and pulls hard and down Yanks and anchor chains as big as circular hands lapping about my scrawny feet and bent toes (Now it’s personal, I know, but the third person singular will limit no one no more!) For I was drowning amidst despairing apathetic TV-holics, false clergy and demonic ignorants

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POEMS

the stony brook PRESS

R.J. HUNEKE
Individual Dawn
Give me wit give me humor: Fuck Troilus, fox news, msnbc Nun-fucking cleric indulgences Are uncompromisable, but the Whipped Troi, the tame president, The oligarchy that is called The United States Congress Ruled by Insiders in the Insiders On the Inside, without public votes, Will fall via the most Trojan of horses Leap from the giant bunny Suspend disbelief and imagine A place without family guy Mixing laxatives and stool hardeners, But also a place of unforced Artistic expression and freedom of will Free from The horrors, the shackles, Of TV, democracy, apathy, hypocrisy, Anarchy to Wrench out the bolts of the Dead society For individuality A community of the risk-taking Individual will win peace Praise art sunsets owl’s Flight sunrise hoots Scrape the page and rehash The palimpsest in search for A new voice Bob Dylan, MLK, X, Lennon Gracious Ginsberg Need Company Rise individuals, one by one Pick up your dusty feet and march Down on and upon Highway 61’s Porcelain clay gray china War plates Lining the roadside from Here to eternity In tired twisted Pieces Smelling like scrambled eggs Ere the echoes of a robin Greet the sad sunrise. Beach sands sacred rites Media shrunken head culture Soul sharing well beyond Warped religious damnation That tears, claws and Rapes the minds, bodies, spirits And perceptions of our Naked Creator

LITERARY SUPPLEMENT SPRING 2011

Jesus-Mary
Mary, you carried a god The masses killed him And it rained Mary, misrepresented Is your son today Bastardized

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Mary, your daughter formed church Fanatics use it For control

Mary, the body count weighs Heavier than time And it rained

Mary, lost are the teachings Do any kill in Buddha’s name?

Mary, I pray your ears are Not deaf like the New Testament

Mary, help us love the man.

LIZ EARLY

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POEMS

the stony brook PRESS

GABRIEL PANADERO
Wild Hours
coursing unreality is threading its way through my self unwinding one sputtering recracker bouncing down the street into darkness and even though there is all that future waiting it feels like time is hunting me down with teeth rattling against seconds tearing moment from moment separating days into nonsense until I won't recognize myself or even old photographs where I thought this is set in stone or at least paper and can never be changed.

LIZ EARLY

LITERARY SUPPLEMENT SPRING 2011

Infinite Power and Strength
Infinite power and strength, crashing down on our bodies, lifting our souls. Majesty born of gentleness and beauty tempers fear. Life. Death.

LIZ EARLY

POEMS

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SARAH EVINS
I feel the crush of my lips beneath my teeth, Settle its neuroses heavily into my bottom lip it gnaws, unbidden, grasping to solidify the fleeting sound of your voice

Renewal and destruction, not opposites, but half of the same whole

T rigemenial Nerves
Our words colliding into a sea of fricatives and velar plosives in the chill air of night.

Lately, the weight of my teeth can’t help but linger around the thought of you,

this voice which meanders through the silence of my daydreams.

But, I realize, as our words scintillate through the opacity of night, for this shimmer of synapse to breath we share I’d gladly worry my lips away.

SOMETHING FISHY
he sun was streaming through my window as the alarm on my cell phone jolted me awake. I grabbed the phone to silence it, and was taken aback by the screen that greeted me. “That’s weird,” I thought. “It seems that no one called or texted me last night while I was asleep. I’ve got to get to the bottom of this.” My first instinct was to call my friend, Molly Miller, and ask her why exactly she had not called me between the hours of 2 and 8 AM. But no, if something was afoot, that’s exactly what they’d expect me to do. And I was sure that there was something afoot. So sure, that I’d even go as far as to say that there was something AFEET. That’s the plural of afoot, so you know that it must be more important. Feet creep me out, so I knew I was going to have to be creative to get to the bottom of this. As I got dressed, I reviewed the facts in my head. Something was fishy about the situation; something just didn’t smell right to me. Fish! Feet! Smell! Why didn’t I realize the connection before? I was obviously dealing with some sort of athlete’s foot-infested ichthyoid. I’ll have to make a list of all of the fish I know so that I can question them and take notes, just like real detectives do. By that time, several minutes had passed, and I realized I was going to be late for my marine ecology class. But how could I even think about going to class at a time like this? I had bigger fish to fry. Mmmm. Fry. I realized at that moment that I was hungry, so I looked in my refrigerator to see what I had to eat. Nothing was there but a week-old tuna sandwich that was starting to smell funky. This won’t do, I thought to myself, and so I found a half-eaten package of Swedish Fish on my desk, and began to chow down. As I shoved fish after sugary fish into my mouth, I found it difficult to concentrate because my molars were being cemented together in a cherry-red, high-fructose corn syrup-laden mess. As I concentrated on removing a particularly stubborn piece

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GINNY MULÉ
from my left wisdom tooth, I snapped myself back into reality and began compiling my list. Cheddar (my pet goldfish) Ninja (my roommate’s beta fish) The tuna sandwich in my fridge. Those were all of the fish I could think of in my life. It wasn’t much of a list, but it was a good start. As I started thinking about how I would get the answers I needed from these sources (who did I know that could serve as a Fish-English translator?), my mind began to wander, looking for inspiration. What was it that Molly Miller had told me just the day before? “There are plenty of fish in the sea…”- that was it! Of course, it all made sense at that moment! I lived on an island! There were fish all around me, and with that many fish around, the laws of probability said that at least one of them had to know the solution to my mystery. Feeling rather smug, I began to pack my bag for a trip to West Meadow Beach. I looked around my room for bait and fishing supplies, but to my dismay, I had none. Hmm, I guess this rusty old clothes hanger and this old tuna sandwich will have to do, I thought as I shoved them into my bag. When I got to the beach, I noticed that I had a missed call on my phone. Molly Miller. That’s strange, I thought. Why would she call me during the day, but not in the middle of the night? I dialed my voice mailbox and typed in my PIN to hear her message. She sounded worried, inquiring why I hadn’t been in class that morning. “You know exactly why I wasn’t there, Molly,” I thought to myself. If only I knew. I spent all day sitting on the beach, dangling my sandwich into the water just like I’d seen real fishermen do in movies and stuff (although I doubt they had used moldy tuna sandwiches). I guess the fish just aren’t biting today, I thought to myself as the sun went down, so I packed up and headed back to campus.

UNCONSCIOUSNESS

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ULA GRADOWSKA

PAINLESS
EVAN GOLDAPER
o you’re getting’ off at Kingston Station, you are? Ah. That’s the first time I can remember someone doin’ that in a long time. You got family there, kid? Heh, probably. Can’t see any other reason to stop there. Ever been before? No? ‘Course not. You’re in for something, kid. It’s quite the place. Places don’t get more…less than Kingston. Hm? You confused? I can put it this way. You got time for a story? ‘Course you do, we’ve got ten stops t’go. Well, this story’s as true as they come. Oh, it’s got exaggerations, but you know, sometimes, exaggerations got more truth in ‘em than your straight facts do. There was this one day that I was on this train with this crazy guy in an ill-fittin’, dirty ol’ suit, and he told me that facts are lazy and facts never do what you want ‘em to. Then he started hittin’ himself and seizin’ and all that, but I think he mighta known what was really up around here. So this story’s for him, and it’s got the real truth in the same way that the old songs had the real truth in ‘em. And it goes a little like this. Growin’ up, I lived in Kingston. You think y’know about small towns? Kingston, you see, is right here in the worst possible place for a town to matter. We’re too far east t’be a part of the big city, but too far west t’be a place where rich folks would go to get away from all that. Who’d want to live here anyway, unless you just didn’t have a choice? So we just got by with the same families that always lived here, back when Kingston was just a nameless potato farm for the big city. Oh yeah, we used to be a potato farm, but then we all got lazy an’ gave that up. There are farms out east, we musta figured. We could focus on other things, like opening more bars than any other town. Man, we had that record in the bag and we weren’t even a real town yet, just some abandoned potato fields. Not until they built the hospital. Even then, the town was created just t’provide some resources to the staff, which, I mean, based on what we got, was just booze. But you need that when your day job’s watchin’ the terminally-ill. You don’t believe me that our town just existed for the hospital’s benefit? Lemme put it straight. You wonder why we’re called Kingston? Kid, the name of the company that owned the dang hospital was Kings, and we were just the town for ‘em. Kings-town. Kingston. So when the hospital shut down, we were lost, you hear? A crew without our ship, a platoon without our cause. Was a good thing we had all those bars, lemme tell you. But as time went on, we got bored of those too. Call it gentrification if you want, but it’s not like anythin’ got better. It’s just in a town where nothin’ ever changes, you change what you can. And so bars became pizza places, an’ pizza places became hair salons, and if you’re not with the mold you become either abandoned or a laundromat. And eventually the driers break down

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(WITH THANKS TO THE TALKING HEADS)
and you find yourself sitting inside, watchin’ one of the little TVs they got up there, and wondering if they’ll ever fix the joystick on the old Asteroids machine. Yeah, nothing really changes. Hell, what’s a pizza place but a bar for a different vice? Oh, we tried, to move on, but we mightas well’ve been doing nothing. One thing is nobody ever took a stand, you hear? We had heroes, but they weren’t much to cling to. A bassist signed to an obscure metal band, a minor league pitcher, this pre-teen whose self-published work of high fantasy only gets copies sold at our annual street fair. We stuck with them, as if no other town had these specimens. Hung their photos in the old schoolhouse, emblems for the youth. This, the photos say, ‘s the best we can offer, the best you can be. Hope you like commutin’ to your accounting job, because all we are is a town to take the rail through. You ask anyone you meet if they’ve heard of Kingston, and the best they’ll ever tell you is that they rode through it once while headin’ up to the big city. Ay, we never managed to be a town that was charmin’, like the little towns down by the ferry docks. It was just dreary and all that, like an ol’ Wild West ghost town. You’d walk around, wonderin’ if you’d ever see anythin’ worth looking at. But all that was really around were those abandoned hospital buildings looming overhead. Yeah, no one ever took ‘em down, for whatever reason. Maybe if they did, the town’d fall apart. But there they were: Jagged edges, dark corners, and no one ever stepped inside anymore. I mean, I like quiet an’ all, but those…mausoleums of illness just made the back roads seem a little too, uh, sepulchral. I never wanted t’be around there anymore and kid, I suggest you stay away too. ‘Specially after dark. But where else can you go, eh? The main streets just seem like they’re tryin’ too hard. “Oh,” the town said, “I’ve got stuff for you to do. You want to play Bingo at the firehouse? You want to look at some flowers near the library, permanently shut down due to asbestos I’ll never clean? Hey, I got a museum,” the town insisted. “Come down, come down, you can see a railroad tie from 1886, you can see a potato shovel from back before we even had a railroad. Sit outside the bank and stare at a pigeon, you could do that, you could.” And then, three years back, our savior came. I tell you, it was hope for Kingston in the form of artificial sweetening and frozen water. When they opened a little Italian ice place next t’ the old junk shop, our town changed, it did. I don’t remember what it was before—it practically came outta nowhere, like a mirage—but when the shop opened, there was no doubt that the new place was different from anything we’d had before. On a street of crumbling brown-brick shops with dirty windows, the blue-an’-orange awning and smilin’ lemon mascot stood out like nothin’ else. Within a week, Main Street was flooded in a way it never was before. People came out of the woodwork to spend time on

LITERARY SUPPLEMENT SPRING 2011

PAINLESS
a street they’d avoided for years, I tell ya. I saw children I had never seen, eating a mango ice or whatever other frozen dessert they wanted instead of keeping indoors. Young couples, old men, a dog, teenagers, adults. Dozens of people every day, crowding into the empty lot between the ice shop and the rail station. We’d never had anything like this, and no one quite knew how to react. I swung by one day after I got out of work. Inside, the staff was friendly an’ clean, and it was a bit…disconcerting. Where was the chippin’ plaster, I asked, where’re the sullied windows an’ dim lighting? Not here, they smiled. Not here. Have a cherry ice. And I stared at it, put a few pennies in the tip jar, and sampled it. It wasn’t great. I’d picked up similar snacks at the ol’ gas station for less. But it was a change, an’ it was painless, and we needed that more than anything. But people came in droves. It was like the ices spawned a bacteria culture of enthusiastic townspeople, and the town finally got what it said it always wanted. “Ah, you like me now,” the town smiled. “Let’s see what we can do, eh?” Puttin’ up Main Street Park was the first public works project I can remember anyone

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ever finishing. Just some cobblestones coverin’ the old abandoned lot. A swing. Some benches. A table for playing chess. And a pillar in the center of the square, covered in historical facts about Kingston. Did you know that the town was built around a hospital? Course you knew that, I told you. Heh. Yeah, the whole history of Kingston fit on one pillar, stuck there like a poster for a lost dog. Kid, I read it a few times over while eatin’ a cherry ice, and I can tell you that there’s nothin’ on that pillar I haven’t told you already. The town claimed the park was about all that, an homage to how great it’d been all these years. Hell, all the homage was ‘s a paved lot with benches, an’ lord knows a town like this doesn’t deserve a greater homage than that. But look, kid. I’ll believe a lot of things, but that’s just facts, an’ those ain’t ever what they seem to be. Here’s the truth: it’s a monument to ices, a tribute to dessert. The best Kingston ever offered. At the end of the day, we were still nothin’, and nothin’ could make that better. And that’s the real truth. That, kid, is all there ever was. Will it ever get better? I’m still waitin’.

LIZ EARLY

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SURVIVAL NEVER GOES OUT OF STYLE
ome on, Chester. Just let me go, just this once. I promise I’ll be good.” “That’s what ya tell me every time ya get yerself inta trouble, Tessa,” the sheriff replied as he chewed a piece of tobacco into the right side of his mouth and looked over the 20-somethin’-year-old graspin’ onto the bars she was standin’ behind. “Chester it wasn’t even my fault! Gimme a break, cut me loose. Let me get off just this once, please.” “Yer not the type a girl that gets off just once,” he responded, clearly starin’ at her chest and licking his lips. Tessa snapped her finger, “Eyes up, Chester. I ain’t your typical two-cent bar floozy.” “No you ain’t.” The sheriff took a step forward and unhooked his keys from his belt loop and dangled them in front of the girl. She looked him in the eye and slowly released her grip on the iron bars. Just as her hand got real close the free man quickly retracted the extension of his arm and fastened her ticket out of the cell back to their place. “And stop callin’ me ‘Chester.’ It ain’t my name, girl.” “I ain’t done nothin’ wrong, Sheriff Winchester!” she called after the man as he strolled away. “Dirty, perverted ape. I should—what’re you lookin’ at, huh?” she yelled at the man starin’ at her from behind the bars across the hall. “I’m starin’ at you, miss.” The man in the other cell was cast in shadows. He sat too far in the corner for the sun to catch his face and for the girl to distinguish his features. His voice was calm and quiet, either that of a man unafraid of a death sentence, or one who has already faced it many times before. He barely moved. “Suppose you got no clever comebacks for me then, huh?” he asked her. “I don’t need a comeback for every man I meet, thank you.” “Well, ya just seemed awful chatty with that sheriff, and you’re pretty quiet now.” “Well I don’t like talkin’ with strangers much.” “I don’t need to be a stranger. What’s your name, sugar?” “It’s not ‘sugar.’” “It’s gonna be ‘sugar’ unless you tell me otherwise.” “Tessa,” she snapped. “My name’s Tessa. Happy?” “Miss Tessa, ain’t no man happy when he’s trapped in a cage.” “No woman either.” “But a woman’s got a much better chance o’ gettin’ outta here.” “Not with that castrated sheriff runnin’ the joint.” “Castrated? Really? Seemed pretty ballsy to me.” “He fakes it like only a woman can.” The man laughed, but didn’t respond. Tessa paced around her 5x8 encasement like a lioness waitin’ for a gazelle.

C

Neither of them spoke while Winchester propped his feet up on his desk and bobbed his head to the radio. Every now and then he would give a holler when a “damn good tune” came on. He fixed himself a hot lunch and made sure the smell of the smoked meat wafted across the jail and slid underneath the noses of the captives. Tessa sat against the wall, knees closed in against her chest, eyes facin’ the open office. Her counterpart hadn’t moved since she first noticed him. The sun past his window and he was thrust even further into the shadows. She closed her eyes so as to maybe hear the man lightly snorin’, but Sheriff Winchester was tappin’ his foot too loudly for her to hear anythin’ distinctly. She kept her eyes closed and all the background sounds made themselves known; the wind rustlin’ through tree leaves, a car’s engine lightly hummin’ around the corner, a few birds chirpin’ happily from a nearby bush and Tessa knew them to be Yellowthroat Warblers. She had heard the same songs before on days when the sun was high up and it warmed her skin to the touch. She and Joey would steal extra handfuls of seed and throw them outside the kitchen window. They would duck down real low so the birds would come out. They never came out of the trees if they could see the children. The warblers would sing and chirp and peck the seeds off the ground, and when they had their fill and flew back up into the trees Tessa and Joey would run down to the lake to swim. “Daddy doesn’t let me swim anymore,” she whispered. Tessa woke from her daydream with a start, accidentally smackin’ her hand against the iron bars as sirens went off and Sheriff Winchester shouted into the station to get the men together. She got to her knees and looked out from behind her cage to try and see what was happenin’. “Yer gonna stay here, Monroe! Look after them, ya hear?” “Yes’ir,” said a lanky boy in uniform. Tessa watched Winchester leave and Officer Monroe settle awkwardly into a chair. She waited until the sirens had completely drifted off down the highway before makin’ her next move. She had found her gazelle. She stood up, brushed the dirt off her knees and cleared her throat. Just enough motion and sound to get the officer’s attention. She slid her gaze sideways to make sure he was watchin’, and he was. This is gonna be easy, she thought with a smirk creepin’ over her lips. She tossed her sandy blonde hair over her right shoulder and bent over to fix her boots. She looked up slowly and caught Officer Monroe starin’. He averted his gaze right quick and Tessa laughed.

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Tessa stepped quietly over to the lock and turned each of Monroe’s keys in the hole until she found the right one that opened the cell door. She slid out makin’ as little noise as possiself. ble. “Sorry, honey,” she said to Officer Monroe as she stole a “Of course you, silly. Ain’t nobody else over there, lamp off a nearby desk and smashed it over the man’s head. She right?” took his gun and slipped it into the back of her pants. “R-right,” he mumbled. “My, uh, my name’s Monroe. J“Hey! Wait!” Jackson Monroe.” Tessa turned and saw a beat-up, broad-shouldered man “Officer Jackson Monroe?” Tessa corrected. standin’ at the bars of his cell. “Hah, yeah, that’s right. I’m not so used to the title yet.” “Ya can’t just leave me here, sugar. C’mon, help me out.” “That’s okay, honey. How long ya been on the job?” Tessa took a deep breath. She looked at Monroe and “Few months now.” then at the door. “Dammit!” she hissed as she made her way “A few months and ya don’t got a badge?” quickly over to the other cell and opened the lock. “Hurry up,” “Badge? No, uh, I got a badge, miss,” Officer Monroe she said as she made her way to her exit. replied, gropin’ for the metal on his chest to reassure himself. Tessa and her tag-along partner rushed out the door and “Why now, I can’t see that from all the way ovah here. Why don’t you shuffle on ovah so I can see it?” she baited him. saw that there was one car left outside. It had to be Monroe’s. “We better get outta here ‘fore Chester gets back,” Tessa Officer Monroe got up out of his chair real hesitant-like. said just before the other renegade twisted her arm and pushed He fumbled a little bit, knockin’ over a cup of pens as he got out of his seat. He picked it all back up and then made his way her against the wall of the station. “What the hell are ya doin’?” she cried out. in front of the girl’s cell. The other man left in the station still “Gettin’ the hell outta here,” the man answered and hadn’t moved, but Tessa could feel his eyes on her from behind pulled the gun out from its home near the small of Tessa’s back. the shadows. “Well, now that is a real nice lookin’ medal ya got yoself,” “You really shouldn’t be so trustin’, sugar,” he breathed down she said to the officer and slowly placed her slender fingers on her neck. He pressed himself up to her back and he brushed away a tear from her cheek with the barrel of his newly acthe badge. She let her touch linger and slide down the young man’s arm. “Ya know? No one can evuh decide what color mah quired gun. “Please,” she wimpered. eyes are. What do you think? Look real close now.” “Please, what? Please don’t hurt you? Please don’t rape Monroe leaned in closer to the bars. He shook a bit, like you?” a dead leaf in the middle of a northern winter. “They’re light. “Please don’t leave me here,” she confessed squeezin’ her Like gray. A real light gray.” eyes shut. “Officer Monroe, I have always thought my eyes were The man looked at the girl for a second longer before gray too. Thank you.” Tessa extended her arms through the tearin’ himself away and headin’ for the solitary vehicle. A bars and placed one on his shoulder and one on his hip. “Uh, miss, I think I should, uh, get on b-back to my desk shabby, worn-out waste of an engine, but it would get him where he needed to go. now,” Monroe told her nervously and found that he couldn’t “Please,” Tessa cried out, standin’ meekly near the door look the girl in the eyes anymore. of the station, arms hangin’ limply at her sides. “I don’t got no“That’s fine, honey,” she answered. “I understand. Ya body.” don’t wanna go and get yoself distracted now. Otherwise that The man stared at her through cold, dark eyes. He was Winchester will have ya badge.” half-way in the car already. Monroe laughed and took a step back, tripped over his “Well that’s just too damn bad, sugar.” own feet, caught himself, and then walked to his desk. He made sure not to knock over anythin’ this time. “Moron,” she said almost inaudibly. “What’s your name, love?” “Uh, who? M-me?” the officer stuttered, pointin’ at him-

PHOTOGRAPHY

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LIZ EARLY

REACHING OUT

LITERARY SUPPLEMENT SPRING 2011

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ULA GRADOWSKA

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ULA GRADOWSKA

LIZ EARLY

A GHOST STORY

LITERARY SUPPLEMENT SPRING 2011

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here are ghosts in my house. I see them every day. They walk the halls and talk to each other like they don’t notice me. I used to be scared of them, but after living with them for so long, I just hate them. I hate them so much.

COLLEEN O’CONNOR

I started seeing ghosts after I came down with a terrible fever as a little girl. I forget what life was like before that, but I can remember lying in bed and crying. I was sweating and vomiting, and my mother was holding my hand, and I remember her crying too. I must have fallen asleep after that. When I woke up, two ghosts were laying in my bed, right next to me. I screamed so loud that they jumped up and ran away. I didn’t know that my house was haunted, but let me tell you—even the most normal house has ghosts in it, if my home is any indication. But the ghosts in my house, they are strange. They change their shapes to fool me, and move things around when I’m not looking. I will go upstairs and pass the ghost of a little boy with blonde hair, and when I come back down, the little boy has turned into a young man with the same blonde hair. And the couch will have been moved. I hate it, living with ghosts. One time when they were moving a table in the kitchen, I got so angry that I lost my temper. It was embarrassing, come to think of it! I picked up a vase and hurled it against the wall and screamed for them to stop. Well, the ghosts did stop after that for a bit, but it was only a matter of time until they changed their shape and started up again. I can tell they’re the same ghosts because they remember me. They know that the person who does live here is angry at them. I see it in their eyes and the way they steal around, as if they’re waiting for me. I rattle the doors at night and pound on the windows so they know that I’m still here, haunting them, they way they haunt me.

I almost wish I could know more about them, because their lives must have been so sad. I watched the ghost of a mother putting her baby to bed, and after that, the baby ghost was gone and the mother walked around the house crying endlessly. One time, she looked past the veil that separates us from them, and she saw me. I didn’t see fear in her eyes—just sadness.

I don’t care to go outside any longer, not when there are ghosts roaming my hallways. I climb the stairs and watch them sit at the table and mouth words to each other. I think of nothing but following them, because they are in my house, and I hate them so much for it. But when they yell at me late at night, or when they’re alone in a room with me, I see them mouth that this is their house now. It is not. I was here first. Before my fever I didn’t know that ghosts slept, but now I do. They sleep at night, or they try to make me think that they’re sleeping. I stay up and watch them, to make sure they don’t get up and try to move anything else. I sit at the edge of the bed, or at the dresser across the room from them. It’s cramped up there. I usually tuck my knees under my nose and drum my fingers as I wait. I don’t need to sleep since I started seeing ghosts. I sit and I watch them every night in my house. I can’t let them think that they’ve won. They can come and go all they please, but I will stay here and watch them, and one day, I will frighten them off for good and they will leave me alone with the sunlight that slants across the dusty floor of the attic, and my little bed that I don’t sleep in anymore. Because this is my house. My house.

LIZ EARLY

The Stony Brook Press

Features

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Arts & Entertainment

Vol. XXXII, Issue 14 |Wednesday, May 17, 2011

By Evan Goldaper
The summer of 2011 is shaping up to be the greatest summer comic book fans will ever have. For the first time since The Dark Knight, DC Comics is giving us a summer blockbuster, and Marvel is delivering with not one, not two, but three bouts of heroics. If you, like me, have your very own Sinestro Corps ring, Xavier Institute pin, and more Captain America T-shirts than most men have shirts in general, you’re probably already quite familiar with what to expect from each of these films. However, as I’ve mentioned in some of my previous articles, I am told some people have what are known as “lives,” and thus are more involved with the goings-on of “actual people” than the unquestionably more important lives of superheroes. Thus, my editors have tasked me with presenting a summer superhero movie preview. So without further ado…A Summer Superhero Movie Preview! Please note that I’m only considering DC Comics and Marvel Comics protagonists to be superheroes for the purposes of this article. If you want to know about other “superheroes” who have films this summer, like Optimus Prime or Papa Smurf, you’re going to have to help yourself.

ing beforehand. Also, haven’t we had enough X-Men movies? Even Marvel seems suspicious of this film, as evidenced by sparse ads. I mean, people tell me this ad didn’t even play before certain screenings of Marvel’s other film Thor. I worry.

tual mask? In addition, the writers seem to be trying too hard to make Hal into DC’s version of Tony Stark, a choice that has no basis on comics and seems like a blatant way to try to cash in on an acclaimed film.

Release Date: July 22, 2011

Captain America: The First Avenger

Release Date: June 3, 2011 Basic Plot: First Class is the first of many reboots Marvel has coming down the pipeline. In this, they explore the origin of Professor X and Magneto’s friendship-turned-rivalry, as well as the formation of their respective super teams. Also, did I mention that it’s apparently the 1960’s, and the mutants have to stop the Cuban Missile Crisis? Yeah. It’s the 1960’s. Why You Should See First Class:

X-Men: First Class

Well. Um. Who doesn’t love X-Men? Professor Xavier and Magneto are two of the greatest comic book characters ever, and any film focusing on them should be good. In addition, First Class, the X-Men spinoff series this takes its name from, was one of the most solid X-Men series in a long time; it’s the only hardcover trade collection in my personal comic library, so that says something. Why You Shouldn’t See First Class: For one thing, the trailers have been doing a pretty half-assed job of making me believe it’s the 1960’s, which is unfortunate. If Marvel’s going to attempt to make this a period piece, they should go all out. For another, this is a movie where the best-known X-Man featured is Beast, and if you’re a casual fan, you’ll probably be very confused by everyone else unless you do some read-

Release Date: June 17, 2011 Basic Plot: DC Comics’ first movie in three years is about Earth’s first Green Lantern, a type of intergalactic police officer with a willpower-fueled magic ring. Hal Jordan must master his newfound abilities with the help of his mentor, Sinestro, in order to defeat the villainous Dr. Hammond and the spreading fear caused by Parallax. Why You Should See Green

Green Lantern

Lantern: Green Lantern is a cult-favorite hero, whose Blackest Night comic miniseries last summer took the superhero world by storm. His powers are ridiculous, but in the best possible way. After all, there’s a reason every nerd you know has a lantern pin somewhere on their person. For what it’s worth, Sinestro is among my favorite comic book characters, though admittedly that’s largely because of his Salvador Dali mustache. Why You Shouldn’t See Green Lantern: This film seems to be plagued with a few key problems that make me wary about how enjoyable it will be. For one thing, the special effects appear unbelievably cheesy at times, the biggest problem being Hal Jordan’s CGI mask. Seriously. Why not just give him an ac-

Basic Plot: Unfortunately missing out on a July 4 release date, this film tells the story of America’s greatest ridiculously-patriotic champion, Captain America. Steven Rogers is a weakling who wants to help his country win World War II so badly that he signs up for a top-secret Super Soldier experiment that turns him into the buffest, toughest soldier ever. Then he fights Nazis in order to control some cosmic energy. Why You Should See Captain America: It’s campy stuff, but the film seems to know it. The World War II setting should make this film notably different than other superhero films, which is good in a genre that sometimes feels stale. Plus, as the title indicates, this film is basically a set-up for next year’s Avengers film, which should basically be the greatest, biggest comic book movie of all time. Why You Shouldn’t See Captain America: As anyone who’s seen the 1990 Captain America film, a movie renowned for its 20% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, can tell you, it’s sometimes tough to make a film about a nonBatman superhero without interesting powers. Sure, it’ll be easy to top any movie that features rubber ears, but Captain America had better wow me if it wants me to forget that.

The Stony Brook Press

Arts&Entertainment

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Summer is almost here (finally!) and most people are probably dreaming of amazing vacations in exotic locales, barbeques by the pool, and days at the beach. As amazing as all that is, Hollywood is churning out a pretty long list of movies to also keep us entertained for the 101 days between the last day of finals on May 23, and the first day of fall classes on August 29. So what exactly is Hollywood planning on treating us to this summer? Plenty of fresh material seems to be coming around, as well as adaptations, sequels and the absolute final installment of the Harry Potter franchise (a bittersweet moment for those who have followed the books and films religiously since they first came around). So when you’re looking for one day to get out of the sun, or hey, if it’s just raining, head to the movie theater, and see something! Here are the six movies I’m looking forward to most over the next few months.

(Comedy starring Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis and Ed Helms; In theaters May 26, 102 min.) Right after the bachelor party in Las Vegas, Phil, Stu, Alan and Doug jet to Thailand for Stu’s wedding. Stu’s plan for a subdued pre-wed-

The Hangover Part II

By Lauren DuBois
in a role that doesn’t quite seem to be like any of her past ones, where most of her characters have been wholesome and good. And much to my surprise, Timberlake has actually begun to prove himself as an actor as of late, so it’ll be interesting to see what he can pull off here. about their mission, the biggest battle begins and life as they know it will never be the same again. This is the end of another chapter of many college students lives. Last year, we bid goodbye to the Disney Pixar Toy Story franchise, and this year we finally bid a fond farewell to the Harry Potter series that started with books back in the late 90’s, when most college students were still in elementary school. I myself had only just turned nine years old when they were first released and the books truthfully defined much of my teen years. I seriously don’t know what I’ll do when this is officially over. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

(Comedy starring Kristen Wigg, Maya Rudolph and Rose Byrne; In theaters May 13, 125 min.) Picked as her best friend’s maid of honor, single and broke Annie looks to bluff her way through the expensive and bizarre rituals with an oddball group of bridesmaids. The real treat this movie has to offer? It’s the first to come from the Judd Apatow School of Just Plain Hysterical Comedies in that it’s actually centered on a group of women and targeted at a female audience. Bearing in mind that even though his “bromance” kinds of

Bridesmaids

ding brunch however, goes seriously awry. The first Hangover movie earned the status of the highest grossing Rrated comedy of all-time, and for good reason. This film managed to top every other in terms of situational comedy— seriously, how could these guys get into that much trouble in one drunken night? The film also pretty much launched the stars’ careers, earning them spots on Hollywood’s supremely elite A-list. Is it possible they could honestly top their original success? All signs point to….yes!

(Dramedy starring Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts and Bryan Cranston; in theaters July 1, 99 min.) After losing his job, a middle-aged man reinvents himself by going back to college. While this kind of storyline is pretty old, I’m a sucker for any story that showcases this kind of character. Maybe I’m also a softy for occasionally seeing films that star older Hollywood vets who are generally known more for the films they’ve been a part of than they are known for their adventures as tabloid staples. It’s possible.6

Larry Crowne

Friends with Benefits

comedies of the past have been guycentric, but still funny to women, I have high hopes for this one.

(Comedy starring Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel and Justin Timberlake; In theaters June 24, 92 min.) Centers around a foul-mouthed junior high teacher who, after being dumped by her sugar daddy, begins to woo a colleague—a move that pits her against a well-loved teacher. This movie is appealing mainly for its star power. Cameron Diaz has generally managed to at least entertain me in any movie she’s been in (even ones that aren’t the kind I’d be proud to put on an acting resume), so it’ll be interesting to see her

Bad Teacher

(An Action/Adventure Fantasy starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson; In theaters July 15) The end begins as Harry, Ron and Hermione go back to Hogwarts to find and destroy Voldemort’s final horcruxes, but when Voldemort finds out

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II

(Comedy starring Mila Kunis, Justin Timberlake and Patricia Clarkson; In theaters July 22) While trying to avoid the clichés of Hollywood romantic comedies, Dylan and Jamie soon discover however that adding the act of sex to their friendship does lead to complications. I really just want to see how this compares to January’s No Strings Attached, which starred Kunis’s Black Swan co-star Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher, and was actually decently funny.

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Arts&Entertainment

Vol. XXXII, Issue 14 |Wednesday, May 17, 2011

Duke Nukem Forever - 6/14 Xbox, PS3, PC By Kenny Mahoney
Summer is here, and what better way to spend your freshly earned freedom than to sit inside all day alone and play video games? Seriously. The sun is out there. Do you know how hot that thing gets? And sunburn? Forget it. I’ll take my comfy chair and air conditioning over flaky skin and sand in my shorts any day. That said, here’s a few titles sure to eat away your summer. get yourself a copy of the original if you can’t stomach the hefty $250 price tag for the handheld (I know I can’t). Wait, what? Duke Nukem Forever? Seriously? This game has been in development hell almost as long as I’ve been alive, and I can’t believe it’s finally seeing a retail release. If you’re too young (or too old) to remember the original Duke, he was the guy shouting curses and making lewd gestures in your first-person

space-hammer, but instead of slamming the EDF above ground, you’ll be wildly swinging away at the gruesome alien denizens of the planet’s core. Couple that with a great physics engine and a bevy of non-hammer weapons at your disposal, and Armageddon should be another quality romp in the series.

L.A. Noire - 5/17 Xbox, PS3
From the Rockstar Games, the studio that brought you Grand Theft Auto IV, comes L.A. Noire, a film-noir crime story set in a post-war Los Angeles. L.A. Noir puts you in the slick shoes of Cole Phelps as he progresses through his law-enforcement career, solving mysteries in a gritty criminal underworld inspired by the black-and-white detective films of that era. Despite coming from Rockstar, don’t expect the same type of action you’d find in a GTA game; you’ll be spending a lot of your time investigating cases, driving around L.A. and questioning subjects. The game features breathtaking facial and motion capture technology, affording some of the most realistic human features I’ve ever seen in a game. Couple that with the more than 20 hours of voice-over dialogue and meticulously recreated L.A. landscape, and you’ve got a game Humphrey Bogart himself would be proud of.

Ocarina of Time - 6/19 - 3DS

inFamous 2 - 6/7 - PS3
inFamous 2 is the anticipated sequel to the PS3-exclusive that shocked players with it’s electricity-bending gameplay. This game picks up where the first game left off, placing you back into the role of Cole MacGrath as he struggles to deal with the monstrous entity known as “The Beast,” while taking into account the various moral choices he encounters as the story progresses. The first title was acclaimed for i’s innovate and original sandbox elements, incorporating fluid combat mechanics and immensely enjoyable electric powers. But with such incredible power at your disposal, will your moral compass push your hand towards good or evil?

If you’re one of the few who made the upgrade to 3D from your trusty Nintendo DS, you’d be crazy not to get your hands on the remake of the Nintendo 64 classic, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. A seminal title in the history of the Zelda franchise, this iteration marked the series’ first foray into 3D-polygonal graphics, with a great story and radically fun action/adventure gameplay. This fan-favorite has been completely remastered for Nintendo’s new portable, with touch-screen controls and enhanced graphics. If you haven’t had the chance to play what I consider to be one of the greatest games of all time, find a garage-sale N64 and

shooters in the early 90’s, before Bulletstorm did it. The classic Duke Nukem games on the PC were distilled FPS excellence with a ton of satirical humor and tasteless jokes thrown in. Can the latest iteration capture the same sophomoric magic that the originals held, or will the over-the-top gameplay and theatrics be lost on today’s crop of gamers? Find out when Duke’s balls of steel hit store shelves this June.

Red Faction: Armageddon - 6/7 - Xbox, PS3
The latest entry in the Red Faction series takes place deep below the openworld surface of Mars, seen in the last title, to a more linear, subterranean experience. While I’m a bit saddened that I’ll no longer be able to be the mischievous bastard I was in Red Faction: Guerilla, the horror-inspired setting that Mars’ mining tunnels hold intrigues me. Rest assured, you’ll still be whacking the crap out of stuff with your

The Stony Brook Press

Arts&Entertainment

17

Summertime in New York City is a magical time. All the pretty girls come out of hibernation and from underneath their layers of wintry clothes. The street vendors roll out their seasonal delectables to droves of adoring foodies’ delights all huddled around tiny food trucks. Summertime in New York City is the best time. There’s no other city like it, but one can argue that the best part about it are all the free shows that go on all throughout the five boroughs. New York City is blessed to be such an important cultural center that we don’t need festivals to attract fans. There are literally hundreds of shows going on in every corner of the city—It would be impossible to put them into one page of text. From Death by Audio to Prospect Park and Shea Stadium to Lincoln Center, there is never a shortage of amazing music to get down with. So without further pomp and adieu, I present you with the best of the best of summertime music in New York City. (Oh did I mention that each and every single one of these shows is FREE, with the exception of Northside Fest? Because they are!)

South Street Seaport The Ghost of a Sabre Tooth Tiger (Sean Lennon) – June 24th Lower Dens – July 1st The Wake / Weekend – July 8th Asobi Seksu – July 15th Pow Wow! – July 10th

By Andi Liao
Priestbird / Family Band – July 31st Frankie Rose & the Outs / Chief / Minks / Total Slacker – August 14th ZAZA / Motel Motel / The Stationary Set – August 28th Currensy – September 4th

Central Park Summerstage

Releases
And now, I present you with an abbreviated list of all of the albums (the noteworthy ones anyway) that are coming out this summer. I like these bands and so should you. Arcade Fire / Scenes from the Suburbs – August 2nd Battles / Gloss Drop – June 7th Beirut / TBA – Summer TBA Bon Iver / Self-titled – June 21st Death Cab for Cutie / Codes & Keys – May 31st Brian Eno and Rick Holland / Drums Between the Bells – July 5th Handsome Furs / Sound Kapital – June 28th Memory Tapes / Player Piano – July 5th Thurston Moore / Demolished Thoughts – May 24th Yacht / Shangri-La – June 21st Washed Out / Within & Without – July 12th Cults / Self-titled – June 7th Friendly Fires / Pala – May 24th (US) Jeff the Brotherhood / We are the Champions – June 21st Crystal Antlers / Two-Way Mirror – July 12th Danger Mouse and Daniele Luppi / Rome – May 17th Depeche Mode / Remixes 2: 81-11 – June 7th Jane’s Addiction / The Great Escape Artist – August TBA Junior Boys / It’s All True – June 14th The Rosebuds / Loud Planes Fly Low – June 7th My Morning Jacket / Circuital – May 31st Jill Scott / The Light of the Sun – June 28th

Northside Festival
Various venues, North Brookyn June 16th – 19th Ava Luna / Beirut / Deer Tick (performing as Deervana) / DOM / Eternal Summers / Frankie Rose / Grooms / Guided by Voices / Javelin / Sharon Van Etten / The Sleepies / Surfer Blood / Teengirl Fantasy / Terro Pigeon Dance Revolt! / Theophilus London / Twin Sister / Wavves / Xray Eyeballs / Dream Diary / I’m Turning Into / Radical Dads / Iceage / Atlas Sound / Woods / Mount Eerie / Eleanor Friedberger / The Babies / Delicate Steve / Marie Stella / and more… So, I guess this summer music preview is a bit misleading, as even on nights when these shows aren’t happen-

Celebrate Brooklyn
Prospect Park Andrew Bird - June 10th The Books - June 17th Raekwon / Smif-N-Wessun / Large Professor – July 9th The Feelies / Real Estate / Times New Viking – July 23rd Ra Ra Riot / Buke & Grass / Delicate Steve – August 5th

Yo-Yo Ma / Silk Road Ensemble – June 7th Medeski, Martin & Wood – June 11th Reggie Watts – June 22nd Hugh Masekela – June 26th Jim Gaffigan – June 29th Friendly Fires / Cults – August 7th Rakim / EPMD – August 21st Red Hook Park (BK) Talib Kweli – June 21st Ozomatli – June 22nd We Are Scientists / Milagres – June 23rd Reggie Watts – June 24th Crotona Park (BX) Slick Rick – July 12th Tappen Park (SI) Sugarhill Gang – August 2nd Budos Band – August 3rd

Seaport Music Series

Rock Yard
Williamsburg The Beets / Xray Eyeballs – July 17th

ing, you can always walk into any random venue in New York and find a band playing. I don’t care what excuse you may be able to come up with to not go to a show, your ass is getting out and you will have fun.

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Arts&Entertainment

Vol. XXXII, Issue 14 |Wednesday, May 17, 2011

Tyler, the Creator By Vincent Barone
Somewhere through the lyrics about rape, suicide, murder, depression and fire in Tyler, the Creator’s second LP release Goblin, the Los Angelesbased rapper became the whitest ever. Whiter than Lil B. Some blame his system of dress— the Supreme five-panel, the socks, the flamboyant shirts, the cut-offs—others blame the unfunny Jimmy Fallon, or the white man’s ironic tendencies (yeah, Free Earl!). Heck, maybe it was during the moment when Sway nervously stumbled over the name of Tyler’s outfit, Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All, during the MTV profile of the group. (I doubt that last hypothesis. Granted, it is MTV we’re talking about, but the last relevant thing Sway has done was probably around when The Slim Shady LP dropped 12 years ago.) Maybe white people are just tired of that cookie cutter rap out there. We all have our theories, but most are simply reading too far into Tyler’s success. Essentially, white people really just love an

e Whitest Rapper Out
should have been more songs like “Her,” where Tyler raps about swallowing his pride after getting dismissed by a girl. He shouldn’t be rapping about rape. Yeah, I know he does it in such a cartoonish way that it’s not offensive, but it doesn’t have any value, either. Eminem did all that more than a decade ago. And Eminem sucks. Tyler’s grave delivery and sloppy flow made the longer songs like “Fish,” “Radicals,” and “Golden” especially unbearable. The beats on those tracks are too minimal and Tyler’s verses aren’t interesting enough to keep me entertained passed the 3:50

album where the artist rhymes about bad things in a different sounding way. It’s just fun for us. On the 15-song album, there wasn’t much fun, though. Many white people thought that “Sandwiches,” “Tron Cat,” and “Yonkers” were pretty neat—the “Yonkers” video where Tyler stages his

suicide, especially. White people loved that. But the rest of the album was a big disappointment for this white guy. Really, though. I give kudos to Tyler and the gang for pursuing a unique style. His homemade production is admirable—but the brash, in-your-face concept gets stale before the album is through. There aren’t enough clever or introspective lines (despite the whole therapist motif) to give Tyler’s abrasiveness any depth. I would say that Goblin is like a regrettable tattoo that the 20-yearold Tyler will be embarrassed about in ten years, but he’ll be too busy counting all the money white people are throwing at him to even care. And I say that not to sound like an asshole, but because I think Tyler is smarter than the album he released. Lyrically speaking, there

mark. Interesting tracks were few and far between, which was such a let down. I mean, the Golf Wang videos really built me up for greatness. In all seriousness, the OFWGKTA crew has a lot of promise. When Tyler hits (i.e. “Yonkers”), he hits hard. The production on the album is top notch. Tyler paints dark, moody scenes with one-handed synth leads and washed out drum beats. But when he misses, which was most of the time on Goblin, it’s largely unlistenable. The group must get through some growing pains before they can release the truly great album that is hinted at here in Goblin, which was released on XL Recordings, the label of major artists like Radiohead and M.I.A. And with the youth and prolific nature of OFWGKTA, I’m certain that they will reach that height eventually.

The Stony Brook Press

19

Nice seeing you at the rave, brah!

20

AA E-ZINE

Vol. XXXII, Issue 14 |Wednesday, May 17, 2011

The Stony Brook Press

ADS!

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22

Arts & Entertainment

Vol. XXXII, Issue 14 |Wednesday, May 17, 2011

SBU’s Breathing East at Bamboozle
By Siobhan Cassidy
Stony Brook band Breathing East won a spot to perform at Bamboozle— again. Breathing East, whose members attended Stony Brook, played at the festival for the second year in a row, performing with artists like 30 Seconds to Mars, Taking Back Sunday, Motley Crue and more at The Bamboozle Festival last week on The Break Stage. The east-end band, which has made appearances Rock Yo Face Case, were feverishly trying to perfect its sound to win The Break Contest, a battle-of-thebands style of competition at The Crazy Donkey, last month. Just a year ago, Breathing East had won fourth place in The Break Contest, giving them a chance to perform on a side stage at Bamboozle in East Rutherford, N.J. Since their alternative sound blew the rookie bands away, they won, again. “It refreshes the reason why we work so hard,” said Will Stevens, who is When Harrigan, a 2009 graduate of Stony Brook University, and Standish, who attended Hofstra University, would drive home from college on the weekend, they said the first thing they would notice is a fresh, salty breeze that distinguishes the East End from the city. “It was a sigh of relief,” Standish said. “We are breathing the east.” Many music artists have begun their musical journeys locally: Brand New, Taking Back Sunday and, of course, Billy Joel are just a few. While many of them hail from New York City or Nassau County, the members of Breathing East feel that hailing from the East End of Long Island makes them stand out in the competitive music industry. There is a certain feel of the East End, said Stevens. “It’s calm and airy. We carry that within the band.“ Performing for a massive crowd at a music festival or not, Harrigan said there is nothing like playing at Stony Brook University. There is a local following on the campus that regularly attends Rock Yo Face Case to see Breathing East play.

a senior. The band had a glimpse of life as a rock star, from professional roadies, to agencies contacting them and, of course, the groupies. “To perform at a musical festival? It is one of the best experiences a band can ask for.” Breathing East is made up of four self-taught members: AJ McIntyre (vocals and guitar), Mark Standish (lead guitar and vocals), Will Stevens (bass and vocals), and Conor Harrigan (drums), who have been writing and

producing music together for two years. The band said their influenced by 90’s music, but has a pop-dance vibe to its new EP, The Successor. In the days before Bamboozle, Breathing East was in the top five downloaded bands on PureVolume.com, a website where rising artists upload their mp3’s for publicity, surpassing 30 Seconds to Mars. All members live on the east end of Long Island and practice in Jamesport.

The Stony Brook Press

Arts & Entertainment

23

Thor: God of Fun-der
By Mark Greek
Before we judge Thor as a standalone piece of work, we must admire the glorious mosaic that awaits us right before Armageddon in 2012. I’m not talking about a remake of the Ben Affleck/hurtling meteor flick; I’m talking about The Avengers, due out seven months before the Mayan calendar ends, so we should have plenty of time to enjoy it. Understanding that Thor is meant to be the foundation for something larger, we can excuse things like corny dialogue, and a less-than-Oscarworthy performance from Natalie Portman. That is not to say it is not a great film; actually it’s quite competent as a standalone origin story for one of Marvel’s greatest heroes. Unfortunately, we know that bigger and better things are on the horizon, so if Thor must be looked upon as a necessary stepping stone, at least it’s a shiny one. Chris Hemsworth, previously seen for four minutes as Captain James T. Kirk’s father in 09’s stellar Star Trek, is cast perfectly as the Norse god of thunder. Thor is portrayed as a vain, musclebound, arrogant muttonhead and heir to the throne of Asgard, exactly as he ogy expert (Stellan Skarsgård). Successfully portraying mythology as a realistic alternative to our own dimension is not a new concept. Stan Lee and the rest of the geniuses at Marvel have been doing it for ages. And in many instances, combining them to create awesome situations where Thor can team up with Hercules. Taking these concepts and putting them on film could have been difficult, but director Kenneth Branagh handled it very well. The special effects were well done and believable, which was very important considering the outlandish subject matter. Comic fans and Thor enthusiasts will either love or hate the adaptation, even if they’re just biding their time till The Avengers. Casual viewers will appreciate the action, if not the story. Fans of attractiveness will enjoy Hemsworth and Portman accordingly, no one will appreciate Kat Dennings and many will be counting the days until the release of Captain America this July.

Rain and mud are among the God of Thunders most fearsome enemies

was in the original comic book. The Odinson leads a band of friends on an unsuccessful and unauthorized mission into Jötunheim, land of the Frost Giants, and proceeds to kick some serious ice. His other friends, though warriors, are not so lucky, and his father

Odin (Anthony Hopkins) comes to their aid. The allfather banishes Thor to Earth to find his hammer and humility. He meets the inexcusably attractive astrophysicist Jane (Portman), her annoying friend Darcy (Kat Dennings of Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist fame) and Erik the obligatory Norwegian mythol-

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