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I had found the internet to be a perfect time killer for those long, hot summer days and nights. If I wasn't out with friends, I'd be here. Games, message boards, chat rooms, and online friends - I had a ton of 'em. So many I often forgot who I was talking to. I admit I spent way too much time on it, talking to people I hardly knew. As I sat through that seemingly average evening, my cousin invited me to a chat room he visited a lot. I had only been to it once or twice and didn't care for it much, but out of boredom, I agreed to go. I used the nickname "some weirdo" and really just messed around for a bit. It was all in good fun.
After several minutes, however, a girl sent me a P2P. Asked a few questions... obviously we were both still unsure of each other, it was just some light chatting. Eventually she asked me for my AIM screen-name so I gave it to her and we chatted some more until maybe 8 PM. At the time, she wasn't too sure about me, so she lied about her name and how she looked, but she seemed to like me somewhat. I, on the other hand, thought she was great and all, but just another online friend. Well that night she left to go babysit at her grandmothers and I hung around for a bit chatting... eventually went to sleep. The next day we spoke again. We must have chatted all day! Getting to know each other more and more as the hours passed. The same happened the next day. She seemed really great. So now we're on day 3. It was late, I was tired, but I still remember it like yesterday. She finally told me her real name. It wasn't Aliyah (I sorta figured that) like she had said when we "met." Her real name was Gabrielle. What a perfect name, don't you think? After telling me this, she proceeded to tell me she wanted to sing me a song. The song she chose was "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge. It was amazing that she chose that song, because had it been any other song, I wouldn't
Falling asleep at 5AM together on the phone. both phones. that I began to feel the same way. and I left to go to sleep." I'd ask myself. "why?" I can see her now. and hearing me doubt our love really hurt her. my laptops battery died. I got rid of all her letters and deleted all the pictures she took of herself on her webcam. partially out of shame for not feeling it. and told her I did as well. I said hello and asked to speak to Gabrielle and she handed the phone to Gabrielle's father. All text typed in. Listening to the most depressing music I could get my hands on and wishing I had another chance. I shyly said "alright". It seemed impossible. but not being able to find the courage. online. I was a wreck. and weeks into months. a lot of stuff happens between us on memorable days) I spoke to her through her friend who was on the phone with her. I didn't feel it. things I took advantage of. I found that the phone bill for the second phone had come. I was shocked and embarrassed. Falling in love over the internet? Falling in love with someone you've never met? I started to feel pathetic and desperate.. long distance. The bill was $700. however. I thought it was to make me feel bad. and I suddenly grew bored. but come night. however. January 1st. Her friend told me she shot herself. and shut the . I had my AIM on. and I didn't take it seriously. as we stayed constantly in touch... as the first one continuously cut off. Days turned into weeks.. October 31st. loud. God answered my prayers. I played the Sims Online. $1000. 2003 I was playing the Sims Online one evening.... was I wrong. (explanation on why will come later in this story) She really cared for me. Don't ask me..have known the words. not realizing how much I really cared for her. Not sure on the month now. total. I told her friend to tell her a lot of stuff. but with an away message. and her step mother answer. told me not to call again.. politely though. if you haven't already done the math. I had nothing to remember her by because after Halloween night. I was happy. Apparently the phone bill had arrived for one of my phones (I bought another cell phone during our relationship. It would be the last time I spoke to her for a while. It ended that night. I had nothing but the thought of her voice and a blurry image of her face stored in my memory. A week after. I didn't realize how it made her feel until now. She sang it. Calling each other day and night.. It was only a short time after that. and eventually I joined in. After we "sang" together.. 2002 (yeah. "How could this be real. Halloween. but it had a meaning for both of us.. but I left for Puerto Rico. Boy. I continually kept having doubts. That began several months of severe depression. It was my mother. even though I knew I loved her. She was talking to my grandma. I decided it needed to end between us after that.. and I'd often go off on her about how this love couldn't be real. wanted to say more. but I wanted to.. she told me she had this "weird feeling. Shortly thereafter. All Gabrielle could tell me in return was. I called her phone.. and I was sitting on a loveseat near my grandmother in her living room when the call came. and an overall happy guy in the day.. upon my arrival back into New York." and asked if I had it too. singing along with her. It was $300. Her father. and he hung up without a goodbye.. It was late one night. on the phone with her friend crying over my harsh words. fun. of course. Then finally.
. That night I went on and on to her about how much I'd missed her. "Is it really you??". I received my second chance.... I told her "omg. It was a horrible thing. Why this torture? Why have two people fall in love. Friends giving high fives and hand shakes hello. A chance to savor every moment I got to speak to her on the phone. For those two days I was in an emotional daze. A chance to not take advantage. so scared I had ruined everything and lost her love.. "Do you still love me?". her screen name on the list of those who had instant messaged me. "Do you remember when I promised you I would love you forever?".. Something even physical torture could not compete with.. every second I got to speak to her online.. We both cried. just like the old days. It was late though." I swear to you.. putting every emotion I had into words. It wasn't much of a reunion.. I'm in New York City! How could I ever prove my love to her? I went on talking to her. That was the beginning. but now. It was a chance to change things around.. but oooh sooo far. She was in Virginia with her Aunt and was leaving in two days. Gabrielle. furiously typing. I just had to let it all out! Months and months of grieving over her finally relieved in one night! I actually cried. My heart began to beat fast and I panicked. talking about . but it was her." on the phone. a man. How I knew how she felt when I had doubted our love. "I still do. The nights we would spend lying in bed. She was gone and suddenly it was back into reality. I had to make sure she understood! But I can't! It's impossible! She's in North Carolina. and I eventually stopped. I replied sincerely telling her I did. a match made in heaven. But why then? Why couldn't I hold her in my arms? Or kiss her? Or look her in the eyes and say "I love you. but now it was something we couldn't stop.. Its like being tied down. It was my chance to apologize. "Yea". I was so scared of not being able to talk to her.. she replied... She then proceeded to ask me. In school again. yes. That's when I began to realize the pain of it all! This huge load on my back! This load which I'd be forced to carry for however long! Why! "Why. I cried! The tears streamed down my eyes and into the pillow I laid on as I spoke to her through my laptop. So close. if you will. I asked. How I took advantage and didn't realize until now. we were "together" again. She then told me. How much I knew I needed her.game off to check my messages and there it was. It was her." I was sooo overjoyed to hear that she still cared for me as I cared for her. This feeling of helplessness. falling asleep on the phone together as if we were right there next to each other. My Christmas vacation ended the day she left.. and then hold them apart! She in NC. A torture unlike any torture possible. there's nothing more painful than this.. Well back to the story." I nearly cried upon reading what she had said.. thinking she might have gone. But only for a short time. me in NY. I love you was something we repeated all the time. and let her call me.. whispering the sweetest things you'll ever here to each other as time passed us by.. I told her yes. I loved her. I hurriedly sent her an IM. she loved me! A perfect match. just as I had asked God to give to me. so scared of her not forgiving.. She then told me. To tell her what I wanted to tell her all those nights ago when I called her house the last time." I asked God. There was a time when we had trouble saying "I love you. here I am. So I whispered. now.. and I needed to know if she did as well. and I wasn't supposed to be talking to her anymore. me. you don't know how long I've been waiting to hear those words.
They were all your average High Schoolers. talk to me online. In it. I basically took it as. It's been almost year. Some nights after that. 2003 She made some new friends in school. and went to one of their houses. She was crying. So that was it. Hearing her cry eventually just made me cry. Nothing had changed! Nobody cared. She asked if I could call her and I normally would have said no. his name and her having sex with him was on my mind.. She told me she had sex with Dustin. getting up at 6 AM for school. but she told me something that night that made me a wreck for the week it would be before I spoke to her again. she was really sad. but that wore away after a few hours.whatever there was to talk about." Her friend did tell me that Dustin had already broken up with her. back to the town she used to live in. homework. That was a real low-blow. In the midst of writing the card.. I was still hurt. Eventually she told me she had sex with Dustin 8 times. preventing me to sleep for at least an hour after getting into bed. Eventually she moved again. I couldn't be happy without her. I never did send that birthday card though. really glad to speak to her. Early June. Tests." She also told me she had carved my name into her arm. Crying together. and we still haven't been given the chance. her friend told me what had happened. Naturally. She was crying hysterically. as was I. but I didn't want to take advantage of the chance to hear her voice. The next week I spoke to her again. found out her address (she had been moving quite a lot) from her Aunt in Virginia. We talking about doing something about the situation. January passed by in a flash. it was inevitable. February. . And every night I went to sleep.. said she loved me. I took advantage of that. or understood. and planned to send her a birthday card. She'd tell me she loved me through her friend. she had her friend in the new city she moved to. She said the first words outta Gabrielle's mouth were "At least I still have Mike. so it was a spur of the moment kinda thing.. that is. Then March came. poof. I felt like the "back up guy. I was of course. She had come back to her friends house and we spoke all night. It was all back.. coincidentally that same month. Meagan let her talk to me online. though. I looked through an old text file I had saved and found her birthday. because I loved her. This girl's name was Meagan. I couldn't stay mad at her.. come next month on the 11th. No one had the capacity TO understand. Dustin was his name. Even if I hadn't promised her that.. Just the chance to hold her hand even. but she never got to go to her friend's house to talk to me. It was March 22nd.. All we wanted was to be able to hold each other in each other's arms and never let go... It still hurt though. shortly later. Go out with someone else. Love was the last thing anybody wanted to talk about. I suppose. We spoke for 3 hours.just as I wanted her. because she wanted me . because I would have done the same thing given the chance. The usual things you would expect in a love letter. would have made me the happiest man alive. I was hurt. Shortly later. so I did. and made a promise that I always would.. on her second week staying at her friend's house. Gabrielle had had a boyfriend. but I had no choice but to forgive her. and hearing me cry made her cry even more. ok. she told me her birthday was coming up. I received my first letter from her in almost half a year. I was hurt for a long time. He was her friend's (the one who spoke to me) older brother.
or maybe even someone with an idea on how her and I could finally be together. There was nothing either of us could do to escape its grasp. a failed attempt at receiving permission from my mother to go see her. We were in love. I'd do anything to be with her. But unfortunately. whoever may be reading. And I'm really here. And that leads us to now. even for 5 minutes?? We both knew that this relationship was tearing us apart. I didn't want to make her or I any more emotional that we needed to be at the time. right here. I kept it to myself. Even still. I wanted to beg her not go to. I'm Mike. With a single word. right there. Forced to leave her friends house by her father. Your really there. our parents could easily bring us together. as I know this story is a long one. With some effort and a huge sacrifice. though. from Brooklyn. That's the way things are. and deeply in love with Gabrielle. NY. and 2 weeks of talking to her all day and night.How could it be so hard. why can't things be easier??? Why can't we just have the chance to be together. from Roxboro. 14 years old as well." I wanted to say more. like any true love. was an inseparable bond between us. I asked her. Our 1 year anniversary approaches and I haven't spoken to her since. I'd be glad to speak to someone interested in my story at all. as you're very lucky to have that special person right there by your side. So that's my story. take it or leave it. do not take advantage of your loved one. in NY. and tell her that I needed her! But I didn't. maybe. I'll have to wait until I'm old enough to drive. How I wish I could. We left with a vague and unemotional "goodbye. in NC. we could even bring each other teacher. even for a minute. Someone sympathetic. After that night. The door shut next to her screen name. So poof. And there you go. This love. "Michael" . Thanks for your time.. NC. the text that was her screen name became italic and faded. I hope you. she was gone once again. or brave enough to run away to her. but there was nothing we could do about it.. 14 years old. She was gone again.