A Normal Story.

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his normal story starts with some characters. Okay, let's say that Shrek was with some dudes in a geisha house chewing gum when suddenly a young dumb crazy hair style entered with a bottle of Jamaica rum. The young dumb crazy hair style told everybody that he found a magic bass drum that came from a magic pond scum that was next to a cocoa tree plum. When Shrek heard that, he got excited because when he was a teen he was in a submarine writing about a machine that could make green jeans with figurines but a crazy Philippine burned his paper with gasoline. Pinky and the Brain heard about the magic pond scum too. They entered in the geisha house as though they were important rat stars. Pinky asked the brain, "Hey Brain what do you wanna do tonight," then the brain said, "Try to take over the world!!" When the Brain said that, a dude told Shrek, "Hey Shrek, did you hear that?" and Shrek said what....? Then the dude said, “About what the little Pokémon said. He said that he wants to take over the world….!” Shrek stood up and said, "You know what dude, I will laugh on behalf of my calf JAJAJAJAJA......, that Pokémon thinks he can do whatever he wants, I think he is as crazy as a lazy hazy. It was kind of late, Scooby Doo and Shaggy were walking in the woods. Shaggy felt that he had to pee and then he just went. When Shaggy finished peeing, he told Scooby, “Hey Scooby, you know what? I just feel that I need some antifreeze in me on cold days like this.” Then Scooby replied, “Here we go again, you know what, I think you are an alcoholic, you are always thinking about drinking liquor, you should go to alcoholics anonymous to see if you can fix your problem bro.” Then Shaggy said, “Hey Scooby, can you bring me a bottle of wine that has an interior design that says if you drink this shine wine you will feel electromagnetic delay lines in your spine as well as your yellow pine.” Then Scooby said, “No”. And Shaggy replied, “Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?” Then Scooby said, “I will do it only if you give me a Scooby snack that will make me act like a black hack that is trying to send back a pack of towel rack into a shack where there are grass wracks and flaks.” Then Shaggy said to himself, “Deeaaaaaaaaaaaaaam, I don’t know when Scooby got crazy as a lazy hazy because I can’t give him what he is asking for.” The next day, Batman and Robin were having an argument because Batman could not capture the Joker. Batman was really distracted by the feeling he felt because he did not capture the Joker. Then Batman and Robin went to eat McDonald´s. They entered and the cashier asked them, “How may I help you?” Then Robin said, “Give me a McCafe with a super legend of McRib and also a dinosaur sandwich”….. Then the cashier thought to herself and said, “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!! Hey little Robin dobbin we do not offer that kind of sandwiches, but if you want, we can give you a boar sandwich.” Robin said “Okay.” Then Robin told Batman, “You see crazy bat, you’re making me feel nervous, just act like nothing happened yesterday at
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night when you tried to get the joker. The cashier asked Batman, “What are you going to order Mister?” Batman had one of those expressions that the cat from Shrek does. He was doing that expression because he had been waiting for so long to get his super combo he always asks for. Then he told the cashier, “Okay Miss, I want a super cooper trooper happy meal that has a big happy face and a toy inside!!!!!” Then the cashier just laughed and said to herself, “That bat thinks that he is still a child, maybe he thinks that his order comes with a Madagascar cat, a chinchilla rat, and an angora cat inside the box. Ronald McDonald´s was outside doing a happy dance. He was trying to do funny stuff to attract people to go into McDonald´s. Batman and Robin got out of McDonald´s and all of a sudden Batman´s face changed and he said to himself, “This is the opportunity to get that crazy joker.” Then he hit Ronald McDonald´s as much as he could until he got tired. Robin was kind of surprised, he just gave an awkward face. Then Batman said, “I know I know, you don’t have to congratulate me for doing a super great job.” Then Robin told batman…, “Are you crazy or what? Of course I won’t congratulate you, you crazy bat rat. Don’t you realize what you just did?” Then Batman said, “What?” Robin replied, “You just killed Ronald McDonald´s!!” Suddenly, Jack sparrows and Santa Claus approached to see the incident. They were not only drunk but also high. Jack Sparrow told Santa, “Hey Santa, I think we've arrived at a very special place, spiritually and grammatically.” “I would say, grammatically,” said Santa. Then Santa told Batman, “I won’t be bringing you presents on Christmas because you are not an honest and good boy.” Then Batman said “What are you talking about red bread? By the way, who are you?, where do you come from?, and why are you wearing all red……? or you just turned red? And talking about dishonest people, just look who you have next to you.” Then Jack Sparrows said, “Me? Dishonest? You know what Batman, a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly sssssssssssssssssssssssuper, like the thing you just did.” “Hey Robin, you should look for someone else to work with” said Santa. Then Robin said, “Yea, but before doing that, I will hit the crazy bat with one of those bamboos that come from the capital of Peru. I will put not only some blue glue on it, but also some new pieces of Caledonian yew with little bit of turkey stew that will send him directly to the canoe that is inside of the zoo.” The next day, everybody got a letter. It said that everybody had to be in Clock Town at 8 P.M. and that the mayor had something important to tell everybody. When Donkey got the letter, he got hyper and started whinnying because he thought that there was going to be a party in Clock Town. He ran as fast as he could to tell Shrek about it. When Donkey got to Shrek’s house, Fiona opened the door and said, “What happened Donkey? You look so hyper.” Then Donkey just started whinnying and kicking around so crazy that he provoked an accident in Fiona’s children’s diapers. Then Shrek went to see what was happening and told Donkey, “Hey Donkey, calm down bro, and stop acting like a mare in heat.”
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Pinocchio was outside of Shrek’s house playing see-saw with Stewie Griffin from family guy. They heard about the party and thought that they could be in there. Then Stewie told Pinocchio, “Hey Mr. Tree, you look too woody goody, aren’t you afraid of woodpecker.” Then he replied, “Well, I don’t care about what people say, at least I don’t look like a bloated roadside piñata. Talking about piñata, you should be careful because people will need a piñata at this party.” Then Stewie got mad and said, “You know what Mr. rotten tree, right now I am bearing a gift. I’ll give you a hint, it’s in my diaper and it’s not a toaster and I am willing to use it against you because you hurt my feelings.”

It was already 8 P.M. everybody was in Clock Town waiting for the Mayor to say what he was gonna say. Everybody got desperate because the Mayor did not come. Santa Clous got an idea to distract everybody. He burped so loud that he moved the hearth. Donkey laughed and said, “Hey bro why don’t you put some water in that toilet?” Then everybody started laughing about what Donkey said. Santa got mad and said, “Hey little horse made of gray mucus, don’t act like that because some day you will turn into green mucus like your friend.” Shrek heard that and replied, “Well, at least I am not a red bread that is spread all over the world and sleeps in a trundle bed.” Jack Sparrows approached and told Santa, “Don´t worry bro, don´t feel sad. Whenever I feel sad, I just sing the song my dad used to sing to me to cheer me up: ♫ I wish you a scary Christmas, I wish you a perry Christmas, I wish you an airy Christmas, and a snappy new beer. ♫ Then Donkey said, “Yea Sparrows arrows, what about my dad´s version? ♪ I wish you disappeared, I wish you disappeared, I wish you disappeared, and get…..out….of…. here. ♪” While everybody was arguing and having fun with each other, someone threw a bomb. It came from nowhere. They heard someone laugh and saw a weird airplane with a weird dinosaur with tips on his back. Everybody got scared and started running. “I know that thing in the plane,” said Stewie Griffin. He is Bowser from Mario bros. “You are right little dwarf,” said Bowser. You all cannot escape from me because this is just the beginning of something

big.

By: Allan Rabanales

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