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Matthew Lee Knowles [2021]

Scene One
Barry Bullshit: But we have no beans left!
Frida Kahlo: I’ll make you eat those words one day.

Scene Two
Tommy the Commie: I dreamt of bulls again.
Captain View: I wish I didn’t know that.

Scene Three
Car Seat Candy: I want to say something
clever that nobody has ever said before.
Hot Rodrigo: You should kill yourself,
your dying words will be a poetry to make the sun never again rise.

Scene Four
Constantine Nipple Slip: I do it in public because that’s show business!
Simon: You do it in public because your father hates you.

Scene Five
Emotional Eddie: There’s so many voices in my head,
I’m not sure which one of them to stab first
Emotional Eddie’s Hamster: Can’t you just penetrate
all the voices together and have an early lunch?

Scene Six
Tyrannosaurus Maxine: So you’ve heard of death by duvet then?
The Kingdom: Next time I’ll bring the book but I must warn you,
it’s not a good book…

Scene Seven
Bookmark Blondie: Please don’t judge me on the stains down my dress.
Lord Titty: What about the stains on your brain?
Scene Eight
Terracotta Terry: Meditation is like making love to a beautiful ghost.
Sardine Sandra: Your electro-spasms cause me a great deal of concern…

Scene Nine
Wall of Disco: Have you ever noticed that when the floor changes that we…
Lavender Child: I’m going to stop you there.

Scene Ten
A Kitten’s Tear Duct: I can’t tell if the universe is very big or very small and…
Negative Emoji Man: You should fuck o before you fuck me o , you fuck.

Scene Eleven
Tallish Tim: There is no truth in pasta.
Tallish Tim’s Mum: There is none of my DNA in you either.

Scene Twelve
Flower Pot I: The sun she burns! She burns! The sun!
Flower Pot II: I hate you so much right now.

Scene Thirteen
Buttery Lissabetta: What pieces of work are many.
Fire Alarm: I want us to make love on AstroTurf.

Scene Fourteen
Electroweak: I don’t like it when you hold my head to your gun!
Electroconvulsive: How else am I supposed to get you to smell my gun?
Scene Fifteen
Titular Tone Poet: I ask you Cunthia,
I ask you, what do I stand to gain, from this wretched endeavour, I should pull
the plug right now Cunthia and leave these lands, with my shoes removed.
Cynthia: It’s Cynthia, you knob.

Scene Sixteen
Postman Pothead: I had a good sni of this one, I think it might be tasty!
Neighbour 367: I think you should come right in.

Scene Seventeen
Sassy Sellotape Sam: I forget why I came in here…
Tracy With The Big Hair: You’re a very odd lover.

Scene Eighteen
Essence Of Palm Tree: I feel like we made progress today, right team?
Harry Sheep: We were collectively wishing
cancer on you for the last three hours.

Scene Nineteen
Chip Shop Hobo: Honk if you want a battered sausage!
Handjob Arthropod: Should I honk twice if I don’t wish this on me?

Scene Twenty
Richard: If you had to eat a Russian doll,
would you eat the biggest or the tiniest?
Sweatpants Stinker: I would chew both, whilst sitting in a bad bush.

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