Slit Envy

The phrase “Clear case of slit envy” was used to describe me recently. And this got me thinking. Slit envy… hmmm… I suppose that has a bit of merit in a certain way, I mean after all I would love it, if all I had to do to survive and was point my ass at a camera and bend over. It would certainly be easier than any working or thinking profession. And as a male I simply don’t have that option. Even the hottest guys have to seriously work, because a male’s sex just isn't valued by the media like a female’s. But even if I could, I probably wouldn’t, I'm not a liar or a thief, so that option wouldn’t be for me. This excludes open professional sex workers, I have deep respect for strippers, prostitutes, and porno models. They are honest well and above the average member of their gender. The lie of the gold -or power- digger comes at someone's expense, and while I envy the leisure, I do not envy the guilt of burdening or deceiving those closest to me. I suppose that doesn’t bother some women. I can’t really blame them I guess, I mean after all from childhood the concept of being a helpless drain on society is basically encouraged. How often do little girls hear the word ‘princess’ growing up? What is a real princess anyway? The modern figureheads notwithstanding, a princess historically was a slave girl auctioned off to expand and unite kingdoms. An extremely expensive bird kept in a jewel encrusted cage until the moment of her sale, a cherished breeding vessel for royalty, very sexual, very attractive -physically politically, or fiscally-, but typically not at all productive. In the nuclear family model this lopsided arrangement was more symbiotic than parasitic since the provider got a maid, a hooker, and a mother, in exchange for a gardener, an electrician, and a reasonable portion of what was, in terms of buying power, a good wage. The woman gained the right to speak, vote, and demand redress of grievances from the law, like any other citizen. But there was still the lingering feeling of servitude, a fundamental lack of power to guide one’s own life. Hence the women’s lib movement, and it’s inevitable backslide. The problem is while some struggled to remove the injustices; later women did their best to leave the perks alone. As a result the gift giving process is still pretty much one sided. Men are required to make the quarterly payments on their “better half” or they can expect it to be repossessed. As mentioned before, Birthday, Anniversary, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day.

But that’s not right, you say, gifts are exchanged on these holidays. In theory yes, obviously, but some woman shrewdly learned that they can withhold what they were supposed to give up as part of the original agreement until these days arrive, and thus the concept of sexual favors as a gift were born, which to me is in the same ethical family as ‘rewarding’ a well behaved child with medical care, although admittedly not as brutal. This is seriously unfair since one doesn’t have to plan for, buy, ship, wrap, or choose going down on someone, like you do a typical gift. Further, the supply of female favors radically out strips the typical amount of male gifts. As a sexual favor is intangible and therefore not restricted in the same way, in terms of scarcity. Also, people are more ‘enlightened’ these days, and women are almost universally unwilling to “suffer the indignity” of life as domestic servants, while men by and large know not to ask for this arrangement because their girlfriends have jobs, own cars, and help with the bills, so they know they aren’t ‘bread winners’ anyway. But a surprisingly large number of women are still willing to have their entire lives paid for by a man, while supplementing their income with jobs and using that as a justification for not providing traditional services. The word wife today has basically almost no meaning except as, an expensive girlfriend that you can’t leave. Without risking the loss of half your possessions and indeed your children. Women have learned that they are in a unique position to cherry pick the two systems and craft for themselves a supremely unfair lifestyle composed of the two previously mutually exclusive options. 1. Freedom from oppression and sexual, domestic slavery, 2. Freedom from the burdens of having to make one’s own way in a failing economy. Fortunately -or not- it’s beginning to cut both ways. Men are realizing that they can delay marriage or oppose it outright. They begin to see that the cost of a “wife” far outstrips the cost of a “girlfriend”, and that the benefits are basically the same. Also, they can still have lives without a wife or children since being a “family man” is not nearly as required as it was in the past. In fact there is now a measure of respect for the ‘player’ type, the male expression of this female proclivity for deception. Beyond that, the male has realized that he also has the option of cherry picking the best of both worlds for himself, slave, and partner. “You’ll do what I say and give me all that money you earned.” Using the same arguments to defend this somewhat atrocious arrangement that are used by Dr. Phil and the like to defend the female version.

The female and advertising response to this male encroachment on tactically advantageous sociological territory is twofold, deception and humiliation. They strive, sometimes successfully, to convince men that things will be fundamentally different in his favor after marriage, and they assure him that if he doesn't want to strike this fool’s bargain, then he’s somehow less of a man, or a coward. Consider the concept labeled “Fear of commitment”, which is presented as a personal problem as opposed to rational avoidance of a scam. They also encourage support for the idea that if a man doesn't wholly tolerate everything a woman does, he’s a misogynist by degrees in lockstep with his rebellion towards “family values”. Which is pretty much what I'm forced to contend with. I attack the behavior of these unproductive cherry picking deceivers and suddenly I'm accused of hating all women. Well for the record, I don't hate women, in fact I’d be happy living in a declared matriarchic society. You don't see women shooting each other nearly as often as men. I feel we as men have squandered our right to rule the world, we clearly know only how to make war, but perhaps that's because of these unrealistic demands and deceptions leveled against us since god knows when. What I hate is insecure grown up little girls who still want the pretty dress and the pony but would laugh in your face if you asked them to help you mow the lawn, even though they ask you to help “around the house”. What I hate are the double standards, and mixed signals. Like the girl that walks around in a school girl uniform with a 10 inch skirt and then sues her boss for sexual harassment when it’s the skirt that got her the job in the first place. What I love are strong women, like my mother for instance, who through strength, determination, intelligence, dignity, and boundless compassion, strive to make every world they are a part of a better place. My mother was a nurse for over two decades, she’s held beating hearts in her bare hands, and come the rescue when security wasn’t around. She’s saved countless lives, and she can also cook like no one else on the face of this planet, she was and is very politically active, and I don’t mean just the purely symbolic participatory act of voting -thanks waking life-, I mean acts as varied as writing letters to congress in her adult life to aiding in the local high school revolt that won women the right to wear jeans in school. She is not afraid to speak her mind and she is also not afraid to share her feelings, which are different things. While she has elements of both paths, professional and domestic, in her life, she chose them not out of blind rampaging thoughtless greed, but out of what is best for her and her surroundings. She sought to increase the net happiness of the world through example and education, sometimes at her expense sometimes at another’s. Which has become the founding ethic of my life.

The legacy of all great women is corrupted by the current crop of what passes for womanhood in the united states. Posting a female chauvinist hate rant on is not activism! -to be fair neither is writing a bookAll in all, you petty little brats should be ashamed of yourselves.

Sign up to vote on this title
UsefulNot useful