VOL 60 NO.

17

MERCYHURST COLLEGE, GLENWOOD HILLS, ERIE, PA 16546

THURSDAY, APRIL 2, 1987

Palmer To Step Down At End Of 1988
By Brian Sheridan The White House will not be the only place having new leaders in office in 1988. Academic Dean Dr. David Palmer has tendered his letter of resignation to College President Dr. William P. Garvey, buf will remain as acting dean until s the end of next year. \.. • / "/. i "By the time next year comes I will have been in this job longer than any other dean, and it's a very busy job," gives Palmer as his reason for resigning. "T asked Dr. Garvey if I could just switch to another job in this school. He asked me to stay on in this position at least another year because there is so much going on next year, and putting in a new dean would take too much of his time." Garvey understands his colleague's decision "It's a tough job to keep for long. You're on the firing line for 12 months a year. Dean Palmer has been generous with his time and commitment. He, right now, is finishing his 7th year and that is longer than any dean we have had in the last 20 years." "He has made many positive contributions to Mercyhurst and we are disappointed, but understand, his choice?' , • •"'•••• f Palmer wants to take on "a new challenge" which could possible include taking on other administrative and teaching responsibilities. Garvey hopes that he will chose to stay on here at Mercyhurst in some other capacity. "I hope he stays here. He is being considered for the position of dean of the graduate program. It's a small program but it is still very important," Garvey said. ^ V-^g|j&KjSS jB ? p £ ^'Though he will be "a lame duck" dean for next year, Palmer will be staying on to assist in implementing the new curriculum and calendar. He will also be on hand to aid his replacement in getting used to the demanding job. j? The long search for Palmer's replacement has already begun. During this Spring term, a Committee will be formed to look for candidates. Then, after the number of candidates are narrowed down, each candidate will be interviewed forme position in the Fall. Appointment of a new dean will take place the first of next year. "The job*probably needs a new perspective and I need a change," says Palmer. Garvey, who has been president as long as Palmer has been dean, thinks Palmer has been an asset to the growth of this school. "He has been a Dean Dr. David Palmer, who willremain as Academic Dean until the endof1988. Photo:fine dean and has helped see the school through a period of great expansion," he said. File ^WttMsEm : :w-^%3S^Sal^Sl@EsSt.^

a

Scoff-laws Get The I Boot
95

dent with a limited income." ^^r^But, according to Security Director, Merrill The next time a member of the Mercy hurst Dever, faculty and staff members could also community who's illegally parked on campus have their cars "booted" | tries to move their car, they may be going "We have ten people on this campus right nowhere fast. \ f>&"' .jg now who appear to be in serious trouble conInstead, they could be "booted" right to the cerning traffic violations, and that includes Security Department. That's because the faculty and staff," he said. "Denver Boot", a wheel restraining device y "I have orders to take action against those which renders vehicles immobile, has arrived. (staff and faculty) violators too," Dever added. The arrival of the "boot" should not cause Citations will be issued as afirststep in deala campus-wide panic, however, due to the ing with scoff-laws, wheel cuffs will be the secregulations regarding the use of the device. In ond step, and towing will be the last resort. Towing will cost the driver $50, which is j order for the boot to be used as a punitive measure, a driver/owner must be cited three 3 much more than the average fine, and we feel times for traffic violations and has to have fail- that by using the 'boot', we're giving these ed to take corrective action and continues to drivers a fair chance at avoiding that expense," park in violation. The wheel restraint cannot Dever emphasized. The Erie Police Dept. has also used the be used unless a driver has accumulated the re"Denver Boot" for collecting delinquent trafquired three violations. fines. * Once the restraint is in place, the driver must fic The security office assured that, in all cases, pay graduating fines to get it removed. In the case of "scoff-laws" who have large fine bills, officers will use good judgment and violators which they fail to pay, they will have to show will be given the benefit of the doubt. proof that they have made arrangements with Vehicles most likely to be "booted" will be the business office to pay the fines before securi- those parked in the visitors or handicapped ty will remove the boot, at a cost offivedollars. parking areas, or in McAuley where Security In the past, security has had to have scoff-law says there is still a parking problem. Other reasons a car will be "booted" are as vehicles towed away. The security office views towing as "very expensive and perhaps an in- follows: If a driver continues to park jn handiappropriate action to take against a college stu- capped zones or visitors' areas and is neither

By Matthew J. Clark

9*fe

The "boot" has arrived at Mercyhurst Here, the device is placed on a Mercyhurst van for demonstration* Photo: L Hafenmaier handicapped nor visiting; If a driver parks regularly in resident area's or reserved zones, and after being warned or cited, continues to park in violation of the assigned lots; If a driver parks in any tow away zone, on the grass, in a roadway or driveway where the vehicle hinders the entry offireequipment or obstructs normal traffic flow. > The Security Dept.[feels that their policy regarding use ofthe "boot" is "certainly not unfair" and maintains that the enforcement of that policy will be "fair but firm". HDever does expect that a few minor adjustments will probably have to be made to the "Denver Boot" policy as the device begins to make an impact on the campus community. "We'll have to adapt as we go," he said.
• *

PAGE 2

Qttu HHerctaft

THURSDAY, APRIL 2,1987

Sister Maura Smith Elected Superior of Sisters of j Mercy
Sister Maura Smith, RSM, prin- was expanded to include a strong cipal for the past ten years of Mer- emphasis on the creative arts. In the cy hurst Prep School, was elected the past year, the school strengthened its 37th superior of the Sisters of Mer- academic offerings by becoming oncy Community recently (Saturday* ly the second Catholic high school in the United States to be accepted 3-21-87) at election rites presided over by Bishop Michael J. Murphy. into the International Baccalaureate Sister Maura will resign as chief Program. Smith implemented a secondary academic officer of the Prep School in June to begin her new communi- school advancement program to ty leadership role. She will succeed strengthen the financial posture of Sister Carolyn Herrmann who has the Prep School. In addition, she is been the superior of the order the ' credited with giving the once allgirls' preparatory school a copast four years. Also elected was Sister Patricia educational image in the Erie comi Whalen as the assistant superior. munity, A search committee will be formSister Patricia is an associate professor of education at Mercy hurst ed to recommend a new principal College. Three other Sisters of Mer- for the Prep School. A native of East Aurora, N.Y., cy were chosen as councilors on the community's religious leadership Sister Maura holds a doctorate in team for the next four years. They curriculum and instruction from the are as follows: Sister Jo Anne University of Florida, a master's deCoureen, Sister Mary Charles gree in biology from the Catholic Weschler, and Sister Mary Felice University of America, and her Duska. 3 bachelor of arts from Mercyhurst Currently, the Sisters of Mercy of College. Beforejoining the faculty at MerErie are working in educational, health care, and social service pro- cyhurst College in 1970, Sister fessions locally and in other parts of Maura taught in Erie Diocesan :: the country. . schools. She was on the faculty at A professor of environmental St. Michael's in Greenville, St. studies at Mercy hurst College when Catherine's and Central Christian named principal of Mercy hurst Prep high school in DuBois, and at SS School in 1977,. Sister Maura has Cosmus and Damien's in Punxdoubled the size of enrollment at the sutawney. She also taught at St. ^ coed high school since taking office. Justin's in Pittsburgh. She'was a mefnberof the MerUnder her academic leadership, the curriculum at the Prep SchooF cyhurst College faculty for seven years during which time she held the positions of director of secondary education andfoundingdirector and professor of environmental studies. In addition, Sister chaired two task forces that introduced new curricula at the college. In addition, Smith spearheaded the development of the 75-acre tract from East 38th Street to East Grandview Boulevard into an educational resource for lifelong learning.J Called the Mercy Continuum, Smith umbrellaed the seven educational components on the Mercy land into a network of learning and living experiences for Erie citizens both young and old. Sr. Maura Smith, Mercyhurst graduate, trustee and former teacher has been Smith is a member of the board the principal of Mercyhurst Prep since 1977. Now she has been elected of corporators of St. Vincent Health Center, a trustee of Mercyhurst Col- superior of Sisters of Mercy. Photo: File lege, a member of the board of directors at Stairways, Inc., and a member of the planning and allocation committee of the United Way of Erie County. She is affiliated nationally as a member of the board of directors of the Mercy Secondary Education 0*4* Association; as a regional associate of the National Catholic Educational Association; and as a member 1^44 of the Association for Supervision of Curriculum Development. Installation ceremonies for the new religious team will be held at the Sisters of Mercy Motherhouse in Erie on June 6. 1 ' ' £. fill' I I
SM
& *

^

- •* T

* • * >

A >

l «

«

*"

*5 *

- /

MSG's Meeting Yields Info About Resume Service, Dinner and Debate
By Maragret Coffey

AND ALL THE QUALITY IN
AVOID THE NOID"! j Domino's Pizza Delivers® hot to you. You get madeto-order, top-quality pizza, piping-hot and delicious, just the way you like it. We're quick in the store so we can safely deliver your hot pizza in less [ than 30 minutes. No M NOID is good news, so call Domino's Pizza® today.

»W
* \\

ThefirstMSQ meeting of Spring Tferm was opened by President Mike' Kelly. He announced that voting for MSG officers will take place on April .1st and 2nd* The 4-2-4 calendar proposal |was accepted by the Senate and Mercyhurst College President Dr. William P. Garvey. It will be in affectfcfor the next five years. However there were a few modifications made. Winter Term will be eight weeks long and will extend from December 1 to February 9. There will be a two week break for Christmas. Classes will meet for 75 minutes on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. Wednesday

will be afreeday. Spring Break will be March 25 to April 4 and the last day of finals will be May\ 13. Kelly also announced the Recognition Dinner for MSG officers and representatives in good standing will be held on April 24. He announced there will be no open bar as there was last year. This point faced opposition. Treasurer Barb Sayers defended her position by stating that the sixty dollar student governmentfeeshould not be spent on open bar, and 75% of the representatives are underage anyway. Last year $500 was spent on drinks while only $300 was spent on food. One representative suggested having a Happy Hour to cut

the costs. In other news, a resume service will be offered to students next year. Career Services will print the resumes on computer. Any full-time student can take advantage of the service at any timefora fee of three dollars. Career services will hire an assistant to do the job. This assistantship will be worth $1200 with $600 coming from the administration and $600 coming from
MSG. ; j
v

ii.^f

Call us!
442 WA 18th St.

Open for lunch 11 am-1am Sua-Thurs. 11 am - 2am Fit & Sat.

I

453-6938
Downtown Erie

A debate on U.S. policy in Nicaragua will be held on April 9 at 8 p.m. in the Zurn Recital Hall. Also, the mascot project will be taken over by the athletic department.

PIZZA DELIVERS

ii« RHINO'S

Our drivers carry less than $20.00. Limited delivery area. ©1986 Domino's Pizza, Inc.

Dinner for two
Get a 12" cheese pizza with 1 Item and 2 bottles of "Coke, for only '5.00 Tax and bottle deposit not Included. One coupon or offer per pizza, v Explrea:4/19787

for four
Get a 18" cheese pizza with 2 Items and 4 bottles of Coke, for only •8.99. I lax and bottle deposit not Included. * One coupon or offer per pizza.. -"Explres:4/19/87

Party Pack
Get 2 large 16" cheese pizzas with one-Hem each and one 8 pack of Coke, for only * 13.60. A saving a of '5.001 * lax and bottle deposit not Included. " f* ge One coupon or offer per pizza. ', Explros:4/19/87

Graduation Plans Being Made
fee. Cap and gowns will be available for pick up on Fri., May 22. Also, Attention: Mercyhurst Seniors. seniors should begin placing anGraduation is approaching and in nouncement orders in the order to be prepared for the big day, bookstore; a fee will be charged. Graduation tickets can be picked there are afewthings that should be up in advance at the bookstore. The made note of. $ • »Any senior who hasn't done so price has been; included in the already should see Ruth Truitt in the graduation fee; however, each senbookstoreforplacing cap and gown ior can only receive a limited orders; the charge has already been amount. Beginning May 4, brunch included in the prepaid graduation tickets can also be picked up in the
By Julie Cherlco

bookstore. There will be, approximately, a $4 chargeforeach ticket, but they can be purchased in an unlimited amount. Letters were to be sent out this week to the home addresses of all graduating seniors. These letters contain more detailed information regarding the commencement on Sun., May 24,^987. i

Fast, Free Deliver} Fast, Free Delivery Fast, Free Delivery1 1442 W. 18 th St. •442 W. 18th St. 442 W. 18 th St. * Phone: 453-6938 Phone: 453-6938 Phone: 453-69381
IN oa

MM8

aa

MM9

oa

MM10

THURSDAY, APRIL 2, 1987

She JMerciod

PAGE 3

Personal EnlightmentJ Is Reward For Students' Religious Trip to Toronto
By Jeff Ressner

Before Mercy hurst wend on Spring {Break, Dr. Master (Enl ightened One) George Garrelts took several students from his Eastern Religions class to Toronto to visit the place of worship of several of those religions. The students were and are: Jules Giering, Allan Carpenter, Jason McChesney, Kate McGrath, Tony MaYino, Gena Kost, Erin Parker, Cindy Carlson and myself. We, meaning us, visited seven places of worship: five were Buddhist, one was Hindu, and one was At a temple In Toronto, Sunim (right), a Korean Buddist nun and her Taoist. student (left) meditate. Photo courtesy of the author. Several of us were almost converted by the Sokka Gakkai people— they surrounded us and showed us each how to chant their three-word mantra that would lead us to world peace and enlightenment. Luckily we had had enough sense to leave Al in the van, which was left running. The other Buddhists were more sincere and didn't

give us nearly as many pamphlets. The Japanese Buddhists were very Western—complete with pews and prayer books—which shows how spreading religions adopt indigenous cultural traits to broaden their appeal. However, their temple was not nearly as decorous as the Cham San Temple we visited, which had many Buddha and Boddhisattva statues trimmed in gold. The odd thing about the Cham San Temple was in actually watching people practice divination with the help of their favorite Boddhisattva. Another interesting experience we had was in mediating with a Korean Zen Buddhist nun. Enlightenment in Zen comes through meditation oh nothingness and in the destruction of the ego, which sound like pretty good ideas to me. At the Taoist Center, an odd mixture of religion and athletics was practiced. Enlightenment in Taoism comes through getting into harmony with nature/the universe and, in so

doing, finding "the way" of noninterference. Movements were practiced by these people to get them in touch with "the way". Some did these movements for exercise, others for more spiritual reasons. The Hindu service we attended was my favorite. We sang, worshipped, meditated and ate with these people. It was nice to see so many people involved actively with their worship. There is a moral to befoundhere. Let me rephrase it: we should be open toward other religious beliefs, for we can learn from them. I often remember the stark contrast I felt between the ascetic Buddhist nun and the acquisitive, successoriented, throwaway culture we live in (and some of us propagate). It makes you wonder. I am grateful for having had a chance to live this experience; I only hope I haven't been misunderstood. '*-

Bond Issue!Preparations Continue
The Erie Higher Education Building Authority held a public hearing on Wed., Mar. 25, at Mercyhurst College on the college's requestfor$6.5 million in bonds, the bulk of which will be usedfora major renovation and expansion project, during which approval was granted, reported the Erie Daily Times last week. Mercy hurst is seeking.'$5.2 million for the renovation and expansion project and the othet $1.3 Members of The Royal Hawaiians teach some reluctant volunteersmillion to refinance existing bonds. how to hula. The Luau was Its usual success. Photo: Matt J. Clark The expansion and renovation project is being undertaken, in part, because of increasing enrollment and also because the college must leave St. Mark's Center, which is currently used for the Hotel Restaurant Management Program and for the D'Angelo School of Music. To create room for the HRM Program, the college plans this spring to expand the Egan Hall cafeteria on the first floor and add a second floor. The D'Angelo School of Music will be located in a new wing of Zurn Hall. That project may not begin until the spring of 1988. The Zurn Recital Hall will also be expanded from its current 250 seat capacity to 750 seats. Also included in the project is adding a third story to Preston Hall for classrooms and possibly offices. New apartments and a bookstore are also planned. Money for thexnew bookstore depends on funds remaining after locker room renovations. Mercyhurst isjeaving St. Mark's Center, owned by the Erie Catholic Diocese, because the diocese was not interested in selling the building to the college or signing a long-term lease, according to Mercyhurst President Dr. William P. Garvey. The currentfive-yearlease expires in June, 1988. |

The Merciad Asks: Has The PTL Scandal Damaged The {Credibility Of Televangelists?

Annette Padaci, Sophomore, Nursing student: "I think it has because the people that.watched and really believed what these (evagelists) had to say about things that are wrong, now find that this person was doing these "wrong things." But, then again, these people are human, and people make mistakes. I think it's up to those who watch (TV evagelism) whether they want Uj ^lleve it o$ not"

Margaret Plunkett, Freshman, Undecided: I "I dorft think TV evangelists are credible because they seem farfetched"

I Bill Nesdore, Senior, Accounting Major: "I think the whole deal is ridiculous! What's worse, though, are the people whofollow(TV evangelists) and give them the millions of dollars. I don't know if they're using any kind of critical thinking at all."

Tim M us bach, Sophomore, Business Major: I "Yes I do. If you believe what they're saying, and it's doing your life good, it doesn't matter what they do outside of their ministry." >

PAGE 4

®be flicrciati

THURSDAY, APRIL 2,1987

April Fool's Issues I Are No Laughing Matter
As many people have noticed, by what we choose to write about in To joke or not to joke, that is the The Merciad, that we don't parquestion. Is it better to suffer the ticularly mind ruffling a few slings and arrows of outrageous feathers and getting people emostories or to print the truth and raise tional. But those incidents are hell? This is, though it is April 2, over—we hope—things of importhe "Aprilfools"issue of The Mer- tance that deserve to be addressed. ciad. In past years, the issue was We are trying to get people to think filled from the front page to the and make choices, even if the choice sports section with comic stories is to not agree with our position. made up by the staff. This year we Those stories are what we don't mind getting "in trouble" over and decided not tofollowthat tradition. will fightforourrightto print what Yes, it is true that Dean Palmer is we feel are important commentaries resigning his post. No one will say and issues. I don't want to fight for 'April Fool" in next week's issue. "the freedom of the press"foran arNot goingforan all joke issue was ticle like "Professor X Caught in a not an easy decision to make Dress" which is usually the sort that because myself and my staff seemappear in April Fools Day issues. ed to have gained the reputation as You wouldn't go to a Mercy hurst a bunch of funsters. Gee, I don't basketball game and see the team know why. Could it be that we like come out and play * with their writing headlines like 'At MSG Meeting: Toaster Issue Pops Up" or shoestrings or clown around just because it's April Fools Day, would kept an "Oral Roberts Deathwatch Countdown Calendar" on our office you? Their reputation, like ours, is wall? This time, however, we opted based on their last performance. So for just another issue of The Mer- they would not try to play at being their best. We are not going to try ciad because of important stories either, ^nother^problem of April like Dean Palmer's resignation that Fools issues Ms that much of the need to be told, not kept until it was humor is based on inside jokes and convenient for us to print them. about people you have to know well Former faculty adviser Dennis to see the articles' humor. I have McCarthy and I sat down over the maintained that I want The Merciad summer to discuss this matter. It to be enjoyed by everyonefromthe seems that afewpeople were a bit lowliest, unpopular,*non partymiffed at last year's jesting issue. It going freshman to Dr. William P. was all meant in good fun but you Garvey. So inside jokes and subtle cannot tell how people are going to references would only negate that react to something that was meant 9 philosophy. •$ "in good fun. ' Up until now, we have been lucky with the 'April But, alas, don't despair. We could Fool" issues.*Other newspapers not have passed on one of our favorhave not been sofortunate.There ite holiday's without some lunacy. have been lawsuits and libel charges We, first off, have run a bunch of placed against papers that have done "Far Sides" for your enjoyment. "April Poof" issues. (Continued from page 4)

By Brian Sheridan

Propagates Polemics
the Zurn Recital at 8:00 p.m. Both As the Congress and House of gentlemen will have an opprotuniRepresentatives debate the ethics ty to present their case and then and foreign policy implications of questions and answers will be fieldvoting aid the the Contra's fighting ed from the audience.? the Sandinista's in Nicaragua, MerWalker is an academic and author. cyhurst students and members of the He has written many books and arcommunity at 1 arge will have the op- ticles on Nicagragua and has visited protunity to hear both sides of the the area on numerous occasions. issues. Next Thursday—April p Peters is a member of the staff of 9—the Mercy hurst Student Govern- the Office of Policy Planning and a ment brings together two conco-ordinator for the Bureau of Lattrasting opinions in the form of a in American Affairs. He has much debate. Our debate "The U.S. and experience on Capitol Hill in the Nicaragua: Two Contrasting Views" fields of foreign policy, defense and will feature Dr. Thomas Walker arms control. from Ohio University and Philip This promises to be a very inPeters, a state* department teresting and exciting event which spokesperson. It will take place in should be of interest to all. Your tax
By Mike Kelly, MSG President

dollars are being spent in a very violate area of the world. Are the Contras freedom fighters or terrorists and should the U.S. be supporting them? This is a chance to form an opinion if you have none or a chance to reinforce or change your present opinion. In an unrelated matter, letters of intent are due on Friday, April 10,forthe position of MSG Representative. The new Mercy hurst Student Government will need good people to help it in its new tasks. Letters are due into die MSG office by 3:00 p.m. % "Off the Record" is solely the opinion of its writer, and does not reflect the view of this publication, its staff or its advertisers.

tion." Okay, now for the;Bakker/Swaggart tete-a-tete. I will give ^Evangelism is in. In the news, that the story as I see it, so throw in a is. During the past two weeks we couple dozen "allegedlys"Jand have seen Oral Roberts get a check "allegeds" and you've got the nafor $1.3 million, Jim Bakker give up tional media version, j . his PTL ministry and Jimmy SwagAccording to Bakker, Swaggart gart step in to take the helm of the was cm is in' the streets of Babylon, $172 million PTL television empire. N.Y., one day and happened on a A Florida millionaire presented lady named Jessica Hahn. Now, Roberts with the check during Jessica is like all other people of Roberts' son's TV show. UnforBabylon, except she had sex with tunately, the nation didn't get to see some guy named Jim Bakker in a the presentation— Clearwater Beach,;F1a.,*motel there was a failure in transmission. room. The failure was only during the purSwaggart, being a man of God, ported presentation. 1 say "pur- could see this sin on this woman, ported"forone reason. No one saw and told her that to be healed of this the presentation. Maybe that's God's plan: "I didn't see a check for $1.3 THE FAR SIDE million. You're still a million short. Oral, you're archives, history, YOU'RE OUT OF THERE!" Oral Roberts buys the farm. Details at
" M

By Chris Kovski

sin, she must demand $115,000 from Bakker. Since Hahn was a church secretary, she trusts this Swaggart guy, even though hjs hajr looks plastic and he wears a suit and talks like he's from the hills of Tennessee. Well, maybe that's why^she does trust him. W h o knows? t T h e Shadow knows! Bakker resigned, giving the reason that he was being blackmailed and wanted to prevent a "diabolical" takeover of FIT.. Here's how I see it, in the form of a one minute play, done in the tradition of The Bard of Avon. SWAGGART: Hark, good sir! What be thy name? .*(See " K O V S K I " page 7)

By GARY LARSON

®ht Mtttxab
Brian Sheridan, Big Kahuna Chris Kovskl, Computer Whiz Kid Jennifer Conmy, Sports EditoHEmeritus | Matthew J. Clark, Demi-god ; | Leslie Hafenmaler, Pix Editor ' Frank Pawlowski, Carrier of the Week . ^

VOL. 60 NO. 17

THURSDAY, APRIL 2,1987

Reporters Julie Cherlco Mary aret Coffey Jeff R Typists Bridget Presuttl, Karen Casclo F. William Kennedy. Faculty Adviser
The Me rclad is the student-edited newspaper of Mercy hurst College, 501 East 38th Street, Erie, PA 1654a The Merciad office Is located, in the basement of Baldwin Hall, phone 825-0376.

11:(XX ^ I think the best wayforhim to go would be to have his radio fall into his bathtub while it is playing some heavy metal. His pallbearers could be a half dozen punk rockers with spiked mohawks . Poetic j u s t i ce strikes again. The one point people neglect is that Roberts never said he would die on March 31st or April 1st. He just said that if he didn't get the money, he would die. Here it is ladies and g e n t l e m e n : " T h e nightly news, August 23,1992. Oral Roberts died today from complications resulting from massive failure in fundraising. According to the coroner's report,

Roberts died.from 'vaccuous deitosa—in layman's terms, God sucked out his soul. This condition had its roots in 1987, when Roberts failed to raise his $8 million that God ordered. A check that Roberts said he received was missing, and no one else witnessed the presenta-

"Whoa! Smells like a French primate house In here."

PAGE 5

®he fHcrctab

THURSDAY, APRIL 2,1987

5

Hurst P r o f s Research O n t i f e In O u r Galaxy Pays Off
to send one" signal to the entire universe. By using an IBM mainframe, I directed each signal in a burst transmission (compressed wave for fester transmission) to various likely areas for life. I chose three planets in the Alpha Centuri area and six slightly further out. I used a laser carrier for the signal, sending out a message in binary code that would approximate the Earth's relative position, and the position of the lab I was working in, to 100 significant figures. Since I sent the message using laser light, which is monochrome, I was fairly confident Ah at my message would remain intact. I knew for certain that the message would be received in 4.2 years, the amount of time necessary for light to reach Alpha Centuri from Earth. It would take another 4.2 years for me to see the light signal reach the planets, since the reflected light takes that long to reach back to the alien lessons in acting like my inlaws. They are always asking if they can come visit, and before you can answer, they say "Okay. See you at six." Then you're expected to take them out to dinner and feed them, even though they bring that little brat of a niece along with them. She offourdimensions, three as legs of a tripod, thefourthsticking straight up, he then told me to picture it expanded with two more dimensions sticking out. That I could understand. So then he asks me if I want to drive, and I said, "What the hell, why not." I sat behind the wheel, and reached down for the seat adjustment. These critters only have two-foot-long legs. I grabbed the lever and pushed it back. Next thing I know, I'm on this ugly street. It was dirt, but blue and green and black dirt. * I turn to Greenlip, as I called him (only to myself, mind you—I didn't know what these varmints could do) and asked him what happened. He informed me that I had grabbed the emergency lever, which would immediately return the car to his street. t So he asked me to spend the night, and I couldn't see any reason to refuse. After all, I couldn't walk home.; '$& • • • * * - •' • • We went into their place, which was kinda cozy, and grabbed a cold one. Man, they had good beer. You know, kind oflike that Moosehead stuff, butwith the kick of Mad Dog. Head ofMercyhurst Security Merrill Dever's car has a parking sticker There we were, pulling an inwith the number 007, secret agent James Bond's license to kill code. trastellar party. It was fantastic. Coincidence? We don't think so. Roger Moore, after all, has quit playGreenlip called up his neighbors, ing Her Majesty's debonair civil servent Photo: G Kovski and they all came over. One of them brought what looked like one of never can be quiet, no matter how An expression of relief crossed much you tell her to shut up. Then his face, and he said, "Fantastic! I those BFR's (Big Freakin' Radio) you have to sleep in the kitchen on and blasted some "music" that was hoping you'd be an advanced sounded like the Beastie Beys on a cot because they are sleeping in culture!" His voice sounded your bed. And... Oh, I seem to be metal 1 ic and emanated from inside bagpipes. There really is some kind digressing. Now where were we? my head. The alien grabbed the can of life in our galaxy, especially on Saturday night. and poured it in where our ears are. Oh yes, the aliens. Afterjtying one on with these Maybe they hear where they speak, I quickly thought about the possiguys, I knew that there was no way just like they say on that annoying ble alternatives, and decided to skip I could ever tell anyone about this. commercial for Campbell's soup. town. After all, it would take them overfouryears to reach Earth, so I He then asked me i f I wanted to But I'm telling you because The Nahad plenty of time. Boy, was I goforaridein his sports ship. Why tional Enquirer wouldn't buy it. So I thought I'd give the paper here a wrong. Hopping-into my pickup not? I'd never been craisin' with shot at it first, before I write my| truck, a 1974 black Ford 4x4,1 sped creatures in a Caddy before. away from the observatory. But Well, to make a long story longer, book and appear on David Letterman. I wouldn't go on that Joanf there on that dark desert highway, we drove around for a while, me Rivers' show, because she really with the cool wind in my hair and showing him'the sights/ him makes me sick. I mean, really, she^ the smell of calitas rising up in the belching a lot. He then told me packs that body of hers into a dress § air, I saw up in the distance a shim- about how his sports ship worked. that is two sizes too small*' How's mering lightf My hands grew heavy He lost me when he started talking she do that? I always picture some and my sight grew dim; it wasn't a about a six-dimensional coordinate beefy dudes backstage, holding a' Mercedes-Benz or a hotel, but a system, in which the other three dress up, then she jumps off a beam spaceship the size of a 1972 Cadillac. axes, t, tau, and te, are cognates for Its styling was about the same. Dark the three axes we know. Each one of into it. They then take one of those brown with a brown velour interior, these three is simply rotated 90 (See "GALAXY" page 7) wide white walls on the tires and an degrees from the others. After explaining the system to me in terms oddly-shaped "Party GRXLT on board" sign in the rear window. I couldn't drive around it. So I stopped the pick-up and out from the ship stepped four of the ugliest creatures I had ever seen (not counting Ruth Buzzi), They were about Stuffing envelopes at home in your spare 4Vi feet tall, blue, and they looked time. * 1 i like pears. By blue I mean a color like Mercyhurst blue; you know, SEND $1.00 for details to: dark. Not only that, they had purplish eyes and green hair. We're Triple-E Enterprises talking UGLY. These beings P.O. Box 1781 \ definitely got whomped on by the Erie, Pa. 16507 ugly stick, U-G-L-Y! What could I do? Out in the middle of nowhere and trapped by nasty looking creatures from another galaxy. Momma didn't raise no fool. I reached in the truck behind the front seat and cracked the tab on a cold one. "Wanna brewski?" I asked the biggest alien.

By; Dr. Mickey Adleweiss

Dear Forum, I used to think that these things were written by your staff, but since you printed this, I know they're not. You won't believe this, but it actually happened to me. From the time I was in high school, I had an ever-increasing interest in space. I read every science fiction book written, consuming with equal ebullience the work of Edgar Rice Burroughs and Arthur C. Clarke. I was enraptured by the planet Barsoom, with Captain John Carter and Dejah Thoris. I reveled in the Overlords from Clarke's Childhood's End—their attempt at world peace was inspiring. Consequently, it was no surprise to my family and friends when I decided to attend Cornell University and study astronomy and physics under the tutelage of Professor Jonathan C. Beauxyeux, PhD. While an undergraduate, I took an interest in the theory of life on other planets. Statistically, there is a higher probability of intelligent life on another planet somewhere than of us being the only intelligent life in the universe. Beauxyeau directed my unrestrained passion, feeding me the countless books and articles he possessed on the subject. My love of the sidereal sciences grew exponentially, iI continued my studies at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, going for my Ph.D. in astronomy. I started out to do my doctoral thesis on "The Applicability of The Doppler Shift to Possible Particle Wave Contact With Other Sentient Life." * For those of you who have never taken a course in astronomy, a Doppler shift is an effect noticed when two bodies are moving, one at a greater rate than the other, causing the frequency of particle waves sent between the bodies to change according to the speed of separation of the two bodies. * I realize that I*have probably bored you stiff by*this time, but I wanted you to understand how I came upon some of the more startling conclusions ever readied in the realm of astrophysics. I discovered that I could be the Einstein of the 21st century. r\ My discovery was that there is life on other planets. While working on my thesis, which involved copious laboratory work, I found that, if I varied the frequency of the particle waves to correspond with the Doppler effect, I could send a steady, unvarying signal to another planet. In exchange for this stronger signal, I had to sacrifice universality—I could only signal one planet with each signal, rather than being able

Earth. \

\ Jjj

*A11 of this technicality aside, 8.4 years later I was sitting in the observatory with my coude (koo-d^y) telescope, Watching the nearest planet. A coude telescope focuses the light down the^'tube" so that it cant be concentrated' onto a photographic plate. I wanted a record of the arrival of my carrier wave. I, in my youthful naivete,figuredit would make an interesting graphic for my thesis paper. & i|After many fruitless days of sitting in the laboratory, often as much as sixteen hours a day, with a computer rigged up to alert-me if anything unusual (i.e.,!• change in light on the planet surface) appeared during my eight hours or so IJwas away each day, my diligence was rewarded. On the planet I later designated Hajooby I saw a brilliant flash of light, which overwhelmed me with its magnitude and color. I recorded the flash, then fed it into my computer. By translating the pulsing of theflare-up,the computer had decoded * a message: "HELLOPLANETEAFTH WEA REHAJOOBYlWEWOULDLIKE TOHOLDCOMMlJNICATIONS WITHYOU" and it continued "CANWECOM & EVISH IFWEGETNORESPQNS EWEWILLSTOPBYLATER." It was a full week before I realized that this said "Hello planet Earth. We are Hajooby. We would like to hold communications with you. Can we come visit? If we get no response we will stop by later." I returned to my telescope to view the planet, but realized I was too late. I received another message mat stated, "TOOLATE HBREWEC OME," which was, obviously, "Too late. Here we come!" i Someone must have given these

EARN

MONEY

PAGE 6

3Jbe fHerciad

THURSDAY, APRIL 2, 1987
/

have anything to otter. Why bother with them. It was the pearl-necklace and briefcase types like Mr. and When casting my cynical eye of Mrs. Cleaver who wielded the clout social commentary recently to on "Beaver." Not only did a kind WTBS, the re-run heaven of televiword here and there from Eddie sion, I saw the "Leave it to Beaver" show. Then, as if by some godly in- ease the tension between the genera-*; tions, but it showed how mediation tervention, the re-run was followed was the best method of solving* by an episode of "the New Leave it problems. Eddie had the generation to Beaver" which is the same show gap figured even before the fancyas the old one with everyone being 20 years older and Ward being dead; pantsed sociologists of the seventies had a namejfor it. As for his but in the old show, Ward really derogatory comments to Beaver, didn't have a life anyway so his many times they were deserved. departure isn't that sorely missed. Through pointing lout goofyftj There, in that bland hour of family behavior, Eddie tried to push television, I saw, in one pseudoTheodore towards maturity by using spiritual moment, the past and the the Freudian concept that recogni-| future. I tion of a problem can be the cure. fin both episodes I saw Wally's If only Eddie could have been at the smarmy friend, Eddie Haskell, oozWhite House last year, he mightl ed into the Cleaver home with words have helped avert Iranscam by tell-^ of false praise and respectforWard ing Ronald Reagan and Oliver North and June. Then he insulted the Beav that they were being goofe. All of for some goofy behavior, and he and this can be seen in the updated Wally would be off in search of "Beaver," who looks healthy, has a trouble. t . good job, a nice family, and a pro-*.; E t h e "Eddie interlude*' of each mising future? Not the Beaver. He's episode was designed to show how ' a coronary waiting to happen, with wholesome and good the Cleaver cheeks so fat he has to squint, more kids were. It was when he appeared chins than a Chinese phonebook. I realized Eddie got a bum rap. If He's once divorced and still acts like there was ever anything to be learn- £ he's 10 years old. The acting hasn't* ed from this sitcom, Eddie was the I gotten any better over the years, guy to learn it from. Infeet,little did Above is "Nothing Sacred's" author Brian Sheridan filling in over know at the time that, to survive we either. | Spring Break-far his buddy Michael Jackson in the 3-D video show, a world in which the Theodores, in A friend of mine met both Bea"Captain Eo/'at Walt Disney World Epcot Center. Sheridan reports Wallys, Larrys, and Lumpys would ver and Eddie afewyears ago at a he feels fine now. t be adults, you'd have to behave like mall during a "Leave it to Beaver" an Eddie. Eddie always knew who promotional tour. He tried to get to compliment. His peers didn't them to sign a poster which Eddie thought was "neat." Beaver, though,
By Brian Sheridan

m A

asked for someone to check to see if the poster was officially licensed. Obviously, Beav has become disillusioned and embittered from trying to live up to the impossible standards of perfection instilled long ago by his parents. . f $% For television in the fifties, Eddie Haskell will forever remain the harsh, stinging slap of reality, the ripple in the still pond of sanitized thinking. No other show has an Eddie Haskell. There wasn't an Eddie on "Father Knows Best." Sure, "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis" had Maynard G. Krebs, but he was a part of the problem, not a weather vane pointing out the way the winds of social and moratfehange would blow in the coming decades. For those reasons, andforthe feet that he was creepy, Eddie found himself an oppressed minority in May field. But he saw the writing on the video wall and ditched the milkand-cookie scene. He became a legend. Rumors circulated that he became either Alice Cooper, the rock star, or John Holmes, the porno star. Neither was true. % Eddie was out there all along, a mover and a shaker, making deals and breaking hearts,ridinga strong undercurrent and waiting to be noticed as the true symbol of life in our times. The 80's, full of Betty Ford Clinics, Cabbage Patch Kids and Chicken McNuggets, is the environment seemingly created by Eddie Haskell. We need him, for he can make make it work.

1987-88 4-2-4 ACADEMIC CALENDAR
(12 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks)

Fall Term: S e p t e m b e r 1-November 2 4 Faculty Workshop Freshman arrive/Orientation Registration SEPTEMBER

Winter Term: D e c e m b er 1-February 9 NOVEMBER 30 DECEMBER Mon Registration/Evening classes begin Day classes begin/Late registration | Last day to change/enter classes Last day of classes/Christmas break begins after classes Day/Evening classes » resume/5-week courses begin Mid-term progress reports to Registrar I

P 1 *
Tues Mon Tues First day of classes/Late registration Labor Day/no classes Last day to change/enter classes Mid-term progress reports to Registrar Last day to withdraw/declare pass-fail Winter term registration/ Completed work for spring and summer Incompletes to Instructors " Last day of classes/spring and summer Incomplete to Registrar FINALS STUDY DAY/Evening Class FINAL EXAMS FINAL EXAMS FINAL EXAMS FINAL EXAMS

Tues Tues Frl

1 ?

OCTOBER

|16
23 NOVEMBER 9/10 Fri

JANUARY 4 12

Mon
Tues

/

/

15

Mon/lues

18/19 FEBRUARY 4

Last data to withdraw/declare J I pass-fail MonrTues Spring term registration Thurs Fri Mon Hies Completed work for fall Incompletes to Instructors Last day of classes/fall Incompletes to Registrar FINAL EXAMS L FINAL EXAMS

AOti'Wi'

K*

Cm »*»€

THRIFT DRUG

me

froem<

18

Wed
Thurs

Grandview Shopping Plaza 825-2333

20 23 24

Frl Mon "lues

JCPenney Catalog
To order call: 1-800-222.6161 • Order Inquiries Call 825-2901

THURSDAYMPRIL 2, 1987

3be fKerciafc

PAGE 7

Congressman
VOLUNTEERS NEEDED Students are needed to help with this year's Senior Week. Needed are two Juniors and two Seniors to help plan and implement the activities for May. Please contact Peggy Hirsch at 825-3333 if seriously interested in helping. 1 teachers; April 9, Hyatt?RegencyBuffalo fpr ORM, Bus. Adm., Accounting, and HRM majors for management trainees. Students interested in interviewing should go to the Career Services Office, Main 204, to sign up for an appointment. at 8 p.m. and April 5 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $6.00 and can be reserved by calling 838-1954. Modern Tool Theatre Co. presents California Suite, a new comedy by Neil Simon, Friday and Saturday, April 10 & 11 only at 8 p.m. Tickets are $6.00 and can be reserved by calling 459-0093. SHOWS World of Wheels custom car and off road show will be at the Erie Civic Center April 4from1:00 to 10:00 and April 5 from 1:00 to 7:00. ] The Magic of David Copperfield will be presented Friday, April 3 at the Warner Theatre. There will be two performances, 5:30 and 8:30. Reserved seats are on sale now for $16.50 and;$14.50. Call 452-4857 for more information.

In the eyes of many taxpayers, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has done it again. Complying with the new taxreformact, the agency has created a new and more difficult EDUCATION DEPARTMENT W-4 form that employees must file RECRUITERS ON CAMPUS Interviewsforfreshmen and transfer before October 1 of this year. To enThefollowingrecruiters will be on students who are seeking admission sure correct withholding throughout campus this week:[April 6, Glen into the Elementary Education the 1987 tax year, it is recommendMills Schools for Crim. Jus., Psyc., Department will be held Wednesed that they be filed before the OcSports Med., and Liberal Arts ma- day, April 8 and Thursday, April 9. tober deadline. jorsforteachers and Coaches; April Please see Mrs. Kaliszak, Education Thefour-pageform,including a 7, Red Roof InnsforHRM and Busi- secretary, in order to schedule this worksheet, replaced the old twoness majors for management interview and to obtain the interview page form and serves the purpose of trainees; April 8, Harborcreek forms. instructing an employer how much Youth ServicesforPsyc., Sociology, to withhold for federal tax. Mental Health, Crim. Jus., Educ, THEATRE Brighton Beach In past years, some people who and Spec. Ed. majors for child care Memoirs will be presented at the enjoy more money in their counselors and Special Ed. Erie Art Museum Theatre April 4 paychecks have purposely had their taxed underwithheld, sometimes appreciate any money you could encountering difficulty paying off give him to get him on his way. the tax bill they incurfromthe prac(Continued from page 4) cash onljvno checks or credit (Continued from page 5) tice. Others use the IRS withholding There are other "Fools Day" surcards. Please send donations to system as a forced savings play, air hammers and shove in the excess prises within this issue. You should claiming fewer allowances in order the Adelweiss Fund, c/o The Merandrivetthe straps in place so they ciad, Box 129. By the way, Mickey, be able to spot them, though, and toreceivea large refund. The Condon't break. they are not on the news pages. I re- gress and the IRS have sought to this is The Merciad, not Pen< But really, you guys are fantastic. thouse. peat Dean Palmer has resigned. prevent both of these extreme situaBut how about running some more This is not an April Fool's Day joke. tions in order to more accurately nude shots of Madonna? Again, I want to mention that we are predict and manage incoming tax Editor's Note: Doctor Mickey a school's journalism publication, revenue and outgoing tax refunds. Adelweiss, Ph.D., M.D., B.Y.O.B., ^m not a humor magazine, though we (Continued from page 4) Nearly 80% of all taxpayers receivprofessor of Intergallactic Issues don't mind if we are at times con- ed refunds last year. BARKER: James Bakker, sir. And taught here at Mercy hurst for the sidered witty. Humor publications what do they call thee? <j? 'While the Congress was striving past two years. He also provides are much better at being funny they SWAGGART: His Almost-Holiness for simplicity and fairness in the tax some great material for v Jimmy Swaggart, God-On-Earth, we could be. The reverse is also psychology students, as well as betrue: we are much better at repor- reform act, there were many times Dane of TVLand and Keeper Of ing a volunteer for biology ting Mercy hurst news than thejnre. when one had to be sacrificed for The Sexual Misadventures. \ the other. The tax reform act If you want to read a parody or a students' experiments. He's now BAKKER: Have ye anything on me, publication that is in the business for directed the IRS to revise the form ready to retire, especially after m'lord? slaying sacred cows, read "National to make withholding more accurate, that mishap with the Bunsen SWAGGART: Ah, yes, my^good while an accompanying Senate FiLampoon." Or maybe read "Mad burner, and complete his man. Doth yeremembera comely Magazine." Infact,my copy just ar- nance Committee report instructed autobiography titled "Cruisin' lass named Jessica Hahn? rived in the mail yesterday. "What? that the W-4'tform was not to be with Creatures in a Caddy." He BAKKER: What be the price of made more complex. Me worry?" needs funds, though, so he would silence?

GALAXY *

ISSUE

KOVSKI

The longerformhas become controversial, and the IRS^ has distributed 20,000 videotapes to explain theformand worksheet. The situation has prompted Secretary of the Treasury James Baker to call for revision. It's clear that some kind of simplification is necessary. Recently, a hearing was held before the Senate Finance Subcommittee on Private Retirement Plans and Oversight of the Internal Revenue Service to examine the problem. During the hearing, IRS Commissioner Lawrence B. Gibbs said, "In our tax system there is a constant tension between fairness and simplicity. In.. .withholding, this translates to a tension between accuracy and simplicity. In developing the taxreformlegislation, Congress and the Internal Revenue Service realized that tax tax reform presented a unique opportunity to introduce more accuracy into the withholding system. While not perfect in each and every Case,*' our newformW-4 was redesigned to obtain the most accurate answerforthe largest possible number of taxpayers among over 100 million individual taxpayers." - • Before the new law, taxpayers were subject to a penalty if less than 80 percent of what they owed in a taxable year was withheld. The new law increased that figure from 80 percent to 90 percent, thereby reducing the margin of error on the W-4 form. At a time when most people are beginning to think about their 1986 tax liability, the new W-4 asks them to accurately estimate 1987 tax liability. | | §j>' M

THE FAR)SIDE

BytGARY LARSON

I H i FAR SIDE

P GARY LARSON By

THI FAR 5IDE

By GARY LARSON

The fake McCoys

Wendall Zurkowlfe: Slave to the waffle light

Unbeknownst to most historians, Einstein started » n the road of professional basketball before w an ankle Injury diverted him Into science. *

PAGE 8

She JHerciaft

THURSDAY, APRIL 2,1987

Presque Isle Bay is home port for the Laker crews, which began their on-water training in Oak Ridge, Tn. over the spring break and have now moved back to the colder waters of Lake Erie. Fifty two athletes, rowing in seven different crews, make up this year's team. Jack Gartner, one of the people who promoted crew at Mercy hurst in 1971 is coaching the freshman women's program. "They're not a big crew,

Crew • Team In Shipshape For Spring Season
but they're very tough and they should do well," explained coach Gartner. There are 14 girls on the freshman squad all in their first year of rowing. •: The men's freshman team is under the direction of coach Bruce Belovarac, now in his ninth year of coaching at the 'Hurst. His team of nine has both size and experience in theirfavor.Belovarac expects to race m both eight and four man races this spring. Vail Regatta. Six heavyweights will The varsity women's squad are all be boated in a pair and a four race returning members of last year's shell for races this spring. team. The girls will be racing in the The Flagship this year is the relatively snew category of men's lightweight eight. The group lightweight women at the National has already won four races inChampionship Dad Vail Regatta. cluding two in Columbus, one in The M e n's varsity heavyweight team Buffalo and one in Oak Ridge. With has been plagued by injuries over four freshmen, three sophomores the winter and will be hard pressed and two juniors this crew promises to repeat last year's showing of a to be the beginning of a dynasty for first and third place finish at the Dad the 'Hurst. 31 Head coach Mike Purcer said "all of the crews have been working very hard over the winter and we are all anxious to start racing,*%Coach Purcer is in his first year coaching at the 'Hurst and is taking over from long time coach Allan Belovarac, who has remained as adviser to the crew programs.

Laker Baseball! Aquires New Field
Ej; This time down the court, we're going to try and explain something that not too many people understand—the making of a 3 minute 45 second TV halftime show— because even when you give it the best you can, work really hard, not a lot offolksrealize just what's all involved. What most of my cameo glimpses into the behind-the-scenes world of college hoops require are two days of work—including travel time, from concourse to concourse. But because of space limitations, I've selected one of thefewthat was done in a day-—when I recently took my annual pilgrimage to Bloomington to spend a four-hour time block doing a halftime show on Coach Bobby Knight. Okay. The alarm clock jumped me off the living room floor at 6:15 a.m., and in my stupor I realized J haven't done an Indiana game in two years, but also that nothing really changes. fThis, I decide/ is what I want to hit upon in my show—that in Coach Knights case, change only means that the racetrack sports jacket had become a rotating Adidas pullover fed or white sweater. And, that he's left the four powerful Midwest states from which he's always recruited— Illinois, Indiana, Ohio and Michigan—and opened up the whole country, including JUCO Wue-chippers. And yes, that he is now play ing a zone—which is even obvious to Billy P. and Dick V. [ ; By the time I'd thought this all out, I'd climbed into a seven o'clock commuter out of Milwaukee foi Indianapolis—a plane, that was made for the Hunchback of Notre Dame, because once you get on one, you can't straighten up. And the guy who took my ticket at the counter was the same guy who loaded my baggage on the plane, and then ended up tugging on his Eddie Rickenbacker leather hat with the goggles as the pilot. I landed a 10:24 a.m. and was picked up by Murray Bartow, a graduate assistant at Indiana and son of Gene Bartow, the head shooters in the business. ; Then, it was back to the airport, with 11m chauffeuring, for my regunl. P | i Upon arriving in Bloomington, I turn flight to where beer is Made the AmericanJWay. I got back to my knelt and kissed his ring—and home at 11 o'clock that nightcaught the end of practice, which having put in about 17 hours for a ended at noon because it was the 3-minute 45-second show, A piece Christmas holiday. Believe me, it was a real physical workout, no of cake, huh? nonsense, with Coach Knight There are a couple of last points always keeping the court spread and I'd like to make. W£\ti working screens in their motion 01One is that, if Coach Knight has fense. On D, they worked on cutting a human fault, it's thataf he likes off passing lanes, and on a concenyou, he'll do anythingforyou. What trated, maximum effort on he did for me was a hel 1 of a favor man-to-man. at a busy time, and you'd better We then went for a paper napkin believe thisformersidelines-pacer lunch, at a place the health depart- appreciates it. * ment hasn'tfoundyet, accompanied Second, make no mistake. by his son Tim, who graduated from There's no doubt, when this man Stanford and represents Coach walks onto a basketball court, Knight in all businesses outside of everyone's eyes are on him. The the University. Thefoodwas good, visiting coach, the reft, the media* and the conversation—believe it or thefens—theyseem to know by ESP not—was mainly on fishing and that the man is coming out. hunting. I doubt that he's ever played to a After that, we went back and did less than SRO house in the Big Ten in the last 10 years, and his intensia 35-40 minute, in-depth conversaty and cold stare guarantees the tion on basketball and what this Nielson Rating for;any Indiana giant would do if basketball ended tomorrow—and how he'd want to be game. He's like a superstar. He is remembered. This show was shown the personification of Hoosier on Peb. 2Uwhen Iowa played madness. ; j Indiana. Coach Knight is one of those rare There are afewthings I will say: people who takes the air out of the When we talked that half-hour plus room, who makes the heart pound, makes it tough to breathe. before two-angle cameras, Coach Everybody knows he's there, even Knight said the three-point play is the opposing team, who make suicidal to the game. And, that he has certain doubts and reservations believe they don't, but they know: Here comes the man. He is, today, about the way the NCAA and the the only one who has that kind of presidents of the universities are awareness to everybody in the place. handling things. ,, Also, he doesn't care who refc the Even the ushers. What I'm trying to show is that games, and doesn't know who the Bobby Knight—as reflected by the reft are until he gets on court— reactions of his peers—is so aware. which is rare—andfeelsthe threeAnd it's not just coincidence that second lane should be widened. Coach Knight also said hefeltthat awareness and greatness take up the his next career would not have to be same number of letters on the writ• competitive, and in addition, touch- ten page. They only thing I don't like about ed a little on the sweaters, the zones, Bobby Knight being so good to me and the shoe contracts, athletes is that it seems I'm old. because he's receiving some money, and the always extra nice to old people... shooting ability of Steve Alford— one of the greatest lights-out coach a UAB, for a 55-mile trip to visit the residence of the round ball the team has been able to play and has required that the baseball field Mercy hurst College has been be repaired each year before the renovating the baseball fields at the baseball season begins. I old Kanty Prep school in preparaMercy hurst is now working on the tion of the Laker baseball team's field renovations which will be fineventual move to the fields for the ished before the 1987 Fall baseball 1987-88 playing season. The move season. The team will be practicing will begin this week when the team on thefieldsthis spring before ofbegins practicing on the new fields, ficially moving the program to the located out on East 38th street. fields in the fall. ± «. Coach Bob Shreve thinks the col• The reason for the move is, in lege has done a nice job in part, due to the administration's renovating thefieldsrHealso stated decision to give added emphasis to the sport of baseball here at Merthat the baseball team will be the oncyhurst. The new fields will give the ly one using thefields,which will team the added dimension of having add to team's practices and game their own playing field, which they playing.^ have lacked here at Mercy hurst. In Shreve is hopeful that the school the past the baseball team has been will be able to provide shuttle sharing its field with the football transportationforLaker fans to the team during the fall. This has cut home games, since they will no down on the amount of Fall baseball longer be played on campus. By Jennifer Conmy

Pub
presents

College] Night
Every Wednesday from 7:00-11:001RM.

All the wings you can eat for $3.00 and 25<P drafts, plus hourly drink specials.
Proper LD. will be required.

Sign up to vote on this title
UsefulNot useful