VOL. 60 NO.




Final Four Briggs Building Purchased
By Brian Sheridan
The problem of accomodating the growing number of students wanting to live in the Briggs Ave. apartments has been solved. Mercyhurst College Board of Trustees and the Budget and^ Finance Committee have approved the purchase of thefinalfour buildings in the multi-building Briggs complex. "We are going to buy the other four buildings that exist,'* said Mercyhurst^ President William P. Garvey, "The college will pay over a million dollars for them, about 1.2 million. That will expand our housing immensely" | *. If you add together thefourbuildings, the college will be adding over 200 spaces. "There will I be more than enough housing for next year, we hope, although some of those buildings will be filled with the spill over from the Sesler apartments," said Dr. Garvey. Does Mercyhurst have needforall of those apartments, though? "We have needforthree of the buildings, but we really don't need the fourth, so we may allow some the present tenants of the building to live there. We are studying that situation right now " commented Garvey. Acquisition of these four buildings will extend the Mercyhurst campus completely over to Briggs Ave., squaring off the Eastern perimeter, and will givefourmore acres of land to the school. Garvey thinks that the purchase will ultimately "give the college housing for many more years to come." These new spaces will push the number of student components to 1,000 units, or living spacesforstudents. Asforpreparing these new apartments for usage, the college will have to do very little because of the work that has been recently done to them.|"They're in great shape," said Garvey. 'They were all completely renovated. They have new roofs, new plumbing, new bathrooms, new kitchens, new windows. There's nothing left to do to them." They will, though, have to be outfitted with furniture for the students and there is some question as to what route the school will take in furnishing the apartments. "We are currently debating how much furniture to put in them,' said Garvey. Obviously, we have to put in the beds, the dressers, and the desks but the question is if we will go any further. Whether the kids;prefer to furnish the apartments themselves, and pay less rent, or whether we will furnish itforthem and let them pay a little more rent is just about the only decision left to

Alliance Institute* Plans Put "On Hold"
By Matthew J. Clark
A proposal which would have brought an Alliance Institute for Polish Studies to Mercyhurst has been tabled due to legal problems concerning the sale of the property which is now Alliance College. J Mercyhurst President Dr. William P. Garvey told The Merciad in an interview last week that, for the time being, negotiationsforthe Institute have been set aside until the problems Alliance is having can be rectified. "The Alliance deal is on hold right now," a disappointed Garvey said. "For legal reasons, Alliance has to hold on to their property for three or four months," he added. Garvey explained that if the Alliance property is not being used and has not been sold that it is subject to property tax, which Alliance officials are now saying they cannot afford. "Until they sell that property, they can't look as if they're operating somewhere else," he said.

be made." Asforstudent assignmentsforthe new apartments, that will be detailed later as the leases have to be worked out with the people who reside there now. The college will take full ownership of the four buildings on July 1. These apartments are the first major deal that has come from the $6 million dollar campus renovation project. The next step will be the construction in Egan Hall stalling at the end of May. "It's a great opportunityforthe college, and takes some of the pressure for our search for housing," concluded Garvey. "The real question right now, though, is how many kids will be pulled out of college dorm housing and how much legal responsibility we will have to the people who have leases in those Briggs apartments. We are working on those questions right now." %

"Otherwise, they will be subject to taxes amounting to $270,000." f ?F * ** Officials of Alliance had previously indicated that they wouldn't have a problem with Mercyhurst running an Alliance Institute here while they still owned their old property. But, according to Garvey, apparently all that has changed. "They thought they could do it, but their legal advice has been to hold off on any commitments until they can sell their other property," he said. What this means for Mercyhurst is that the proposal for the Institute cannot be pursued until the problems that face Alliance have been dealt with and there are no other legal problems. Garvey indicated that the Institute issue doesn't mean that some Alliance students will not attend here next year. ^ "We're going to put a hold on the Alliance Institute, although there will be Alliance students here." Garvey said.

The four buildings at Briggs that have been purchased by Mercyhurst win give the school enough housing for years to come, photo: L Hatenmahr *

Dance Dept. Performs Beauty



at Tech Memorial, photo: L Hahnnmkr

The Dance Department's spring production May 10 at 3:00 p.m. at lech Memorial High of "Sleeping Beauty" will be a beauty indeed. School Auditorium. There is no charge to the Costumes valued at $30,000 are being rented Mercyhurst community for this event. from Ballet West and Interlochen Arts for a small portion of that amount to grace the extas® us travaganza. The collaborative professional ef1 1 iSS fort is a vision of Director Jean-Marc Baier and Assistant Director June Hines, who have planned all the choreography and staging. Thirty of the College dancers, along with Kenneth Niche 1, guest artistfromBallet West where he is principal dancer, join to make this full-length production an exciting performance. Daphna Rathouse Baier is the rehearsal director. The Erie Playhouse's Charles Corritore is the Narrator. The role of Aurora, the sleeping beauty, is danced by Mary Campbell. Lisa Armstrong is Carrabosse, the Wicked Fairy, while Megan Muldoon is the Lilac Fairy. You won't want to miss "Sleeping Beauty." It will be presented on Senior Mary Campbell rehearses for "Sleeping Beauty/' the ballet that will be presented Saturday May 9 and 8:00 p.m. and on Sunday



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H R I M D e p a r t m e n t To M o v e O n C a m p u s In Fall of '87
By Janlne Adolphson
% A comprehensive state-of-the-art kitchen facility has been planned for the new Hotel Restaurant Institutional Management wing to be located on the main campus next year. Occupancy should take place in late November, if everything goes as scheduled. Modifications have been made to the HRIM facility to accommodate the growing department and their dedication to the community. Department head John Wolper said, "We are very excited to be housed in a facility with a comprehensive instructional kitchen." The kitchen facility was designed with input from the HRIM faculty with extensive lay-out design by Daryl Georger, assistant department head. Under the direction of John >r\folper, extensive research was conducted prior to the design of their new facility. * The new kitchen and wing will be adjacent to the current Mercy hurst Cafeteria. Classrooms have been approved for the second story expansion, serving the expected 300* HRIM majors beginning late Fall of the 1987-88 academic year. The HRIM Department's need for a new facility was due to the Erie Catholic Diocese's unwillingness to sell space for the department at St. Mark's. Furthermore, the move of the HRIM department willfostercontinued community involvement with such showcase events as Christmas Madrigals, Canterbury Feasts, and Hawaiian Luaus. f Wolper and the HRIM faculty and staff are excited with the prospects of returning to the main campus. Freshman HRIM major Ron Blum added, "A move back to campus will unite us with the student body and faculty. In turn, I hope that this will enable us to produce more new and exciting programs for our community." Kelly Slavin, a freshman HRIM major said, "I am really excited about the changes. It's the best news I've heard in a long time." In closing, Wolper remarked, "We are very grateful as a department for the vote of confidence afforded us by the Board of Trustees, Dr. William P. Garvey, and his administration. We look forward to continued success and growth and will work even harder to achieve further success on behalf of our department and the fine name of Mercy hurst College."

HRIM's former facilities at St Mark's* The department will have new kitchens here on campus next photos L Haknmakr

Student Assistantships Offered For 1987-88
By Matthew J. Clark
Mercyhurst College has announced that its Student Assistantship Program will continue for the 1987-88 academic year. The program, which currently offers 60 student assistant positions in 35 different areas of the college, was designed to aid Mercyhurst upperclassmen in meeting the increasing costs of education.z Jiach student position carries with It a reduction of tuition costs in return for a specified number of work hours. The program is intended for students who do not qualify for work study or who are needed for more hours than provided for in work study. Like work study, the student assistant positions pay $3.35 per hour, but students may earn up to $1,000 as assistants. To qualify for an assistantship, students mustfbe full-time upperclassmen for 1987-88, and carry at least a 2.0 QPA. Students must also serve a probationary period before becomingeligibleforthe t u t tion*reducfiori^?^^l*iWB!PWP Tuition reduction will not be granted until the term following employment. Final selection, which is determined by the department director, will be based on a balanced review of the student's ability to perform the task and on financial need. Students may apply for any position in which they are interested and/or qualified for. A student may not hold both a work study and an assistantship position if the combined total exceeds $1,500. Formal notice of appointment will be sent to students by the president's office? SWdent applications are being distributed by department directors, and are due to them by May 15.
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Dear Editor, I appreciate the fact that the MSG used its budget surplus to improve the secondfloorof Old Main alcove. (Merciad, Vol. 60, No. 19,4/23/87) The students Who use this area for "relaxing in between classes" will certainly be more comfortable now. However, I had understood that this was a college that encouraged us to become well-rounded indu viduals who can evaluate a situation and use our judgement to arrive Erie's DJ. John, who will be spinning the platters at this year's Spring fair outcome. The idea of the at a Formal, t 1 Mercyhurst Student Government waging a battle against a sode ma-

Student Questions Judgement] In MSG—Soda Machine Battle
chine seems to contradict this notion. Was the situation really as black and white as Mr. Kelly would have us believe? It appears that this wonderful new furniture does not occupy all of the available space in the alcove. I'm sure that expending a minimal effort would have allowed us to have all this comfort and the soda machine as well. Had the MSG taken the time, they would have realized that the majority of the business classes required for graduation are conducted on the second floor of Old Main. I wonder

Spring Formal Guidelines Set

how many people will be using the new furnishings to catch their breath after jogging to the basement of Preston Hall to buy a soda between these classes. Finally, I can only hope that the hext time the MSG wants to flex its muscles it would choose a more worthy opponent. Perhaps they could find a situation that would boost their presently floundering reputation in this institution. How about it, Mike—want to tackle the trash cans next? Sincerely, Ellen M. Owen

By Julie Cherico

On Friday May 8th, the second day of Activities Weekend will continue with the Spring Fling sponsored by MSG and its Formal Committee. It is anticipated that all 400 tickets will be sold; however, they will be available to Mercyhurst students on a pre-sale basis only. Tickets can be purchased today, May 7th between 11:00-12:00 and 6:00-8:00 in the Student Union, as well as on Friday May 8th from 11:00-5:00. The cost of the tickets is $5.00 per person. Mercyhurst's Spring Fling, featuring D.J.fJohn and his light shows, will take place at the Erie Hilton Hotel from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. Buses will leave from Baldwin at 8:45,9:15,9:45 and 10:15. Its retur-

ning times {from the formal are 12:00,12:30,1:00 and 1:30. Anyone needing arideis welcome toridethe bus free of charge. Besides dancing, socializing and having a good time, hors d' oeuvres, pop and nonalcoholic punch will be served throughout the course of the night. Proper ID will be required for purchasing alcoholic beverages. The ladies will receive a red, pink or white carnation at the door. MSG and its Formal Committee have put a lot of time and effort into making this year's Spring Formal a true success. However, students are restricted to the dance room and the lobby. Any person leaving these areas will not be allowed to re-enter. Anyone who is inebriated beyond control will not be admitted.

MSG Fay Raises, New Check-Cashing Hours Result Of April 26 Meeting
By Margaret Coffey

The fifth MSG meeting of the year was conducted by Treasurer Barb Sayers. SHe announced that tickets for theformalgo on sale May 1. The ticket sales will be limited to 500. They will be on sale in the Student Union and in the MSG office during check cashing hours. Sayers proposed a salary increase for the MSG officers to begin in September. Officers now receive $1000 in scholarshipform.She proposed they receive an additional $500 due torisingtuition costs and the amount of time involved in being an officer. Under the proposal, the president of MSG would receive $3000, with half of that sum coming from administration. The pro-

posal was passed. Mike Good was elected as Student Activities Committee Chairperson after Sue Trumbull was elected and resigned. There will be changes in the check cashing hours for Spring Term because the current hours conflict with the new officers' schedules. The new hours are as follows: Monday 6:30-8:30, luesday 1-3, Wednesday 2-4, Thursday 12-2, and Friday 1:40-3:40. In other news, two c lubs have requested money from MSG. The SportsMedicine Club requested $300 to send four people to a ocnvention in Baltimore. This will cost them a total of $660, but they will raise the rest of the money through a bake sale. The International Students' Organization will be set-

ting up a booth on Activities Weekend. The booth will serve international food, free of charge. ISO asked MSG for $100 to cover the cost of supplies they will need. This money was granted and will come out of the Activities Weekend Budget. The Environment Action Club as recognized by MSG as a Mercyhurst Club. The club is open to all interested students and there wil be no dues. The first activity will be work on the 'Peninsula Clean-up. Next year there may be a MAC machine on campus. MSG has contacted Marine Band about installing it. Proposed loactions include the library, the Student Union, or the lobby of Baldwin Hall.

The Merciad Asks: Do you think there! should be a maximum age limit for the President of the United States? \

Dr. Alan 'Belovarac, Director, History Department No, I don't thing so. Aging is an individual process and to set an age limit would screen out some very capable candidates. In a sense it would be almost un-democratic. It take the process away from the voters who should decide if a person is senile or not.

Lev Kubiak, English I think there should be an upper age limit of 65 so the president will be 69 at the end of the term.

Jeff Roessner, English I don't think a person should be elected if they are dead, but really, can a dog have a Budda nature?

Caitlin Grayson, Chemistry/Biology Yes, most certainly. President Reagan is obviously senile now. Have you seen himfallasleep and his wife has to nudge him awake and whisper him the answers?


Wat JHercioft


A Few Words To Seniors And Those Who Love Them
By Brian Sheridan

President Reflects On! Good war
By Mike Kelly, MSG President

and some friends want you out of school and making money. Teachers Seniors, are youfeelinglistless, want you to concentrate on your not wanting tofinishassignments or school work, take their tests and go to class? Well, join the club. It's participate in class. Both are full time pursuits. Most of us still want known as Senioritis and in the to enjoy the fruits of a lifetime of Spring term of your senior year it schooling with our friends. We can tends to be the only thing that stands be adults now, but we don't have to between a student and graduation. be yet. It's thatfeelingthat nothing really matters anymore. It's really due The easiest and most usual route to the pressures that no one except that's taken when the pressure the graduating senior canfeel.The mounts is to just drop out of the rat race before you get into it. Papers, problem starts with everyone trying classes and projects take a back seat to push and pull you at the same time. Teachers want you to be atten- to really dumb activites like aimlessly driving around or sleeptive in their classes and often want ing all day. We know what has to be you to act like you are not about to done. We are doing our best to get be tossed from the warm bosom of it all done, but,forgosh sakes, we higher education into the cold, cruel can only be jerked around so much world of 9 to 5. . before we break. It's our "real" life Here at school, if we fail, it's onthat's looming large on the other ly a bad grade and disapproving side of graduation.^We will get comment on the paper. No real big there, but let us take it at our own deal. A screw-up in the working rate. £ world, unless you are president of United States and can claim you | Thus you see many seniors sufferforgot, will be dealt with by your be- ing from Senioritis and hanging out ing handed your termination papers. at "Herman's," where people don't Melodramatically speaking, your really seem to care much about the future hangs in the balance with future—only the present. All of these situations do fioteven every move. That is a scary idea. Another leading cause of take into account the problems with Senioritis must be caused by the the actual graduation ceremony. The number one question asked of caps and gowns, the annoucements, graduating seniors—' What are you the invitations and tickets. You need planning to do?" Everyone asks this a personal secreatary to take care of and though they mean well, it has all of this stuff. to be the most annoying question At this time there is no cure for asked. I hope to get a job—how's Senioritis. Not even a telethon could that for an answer? help. Advice to the up and coming p~ Other related question are "What f senior would be this: start now. Get kind of jobvdo you want?"and your act in gear now and do all of "Where are you sending your the projects and papers right now resumes?" They don't get any more, and store them until they are needsympathetic than that. Everyone is ed. Because you too will feel the trying their best to ensure that you "Who gives a s***" feeling of a do your best and make all of your graduating senior, and once you get dreams come true, but with it, it takes a lot to shake it. I should everyone pushing and pulling which know—I'm a senior with Senioritis. way do you go? Parents, relatives

As I draw to the end of my year as president of student government, I would just like to reflect on a few things. Sitting in my position, it is always hard to see what kind of job one does. It's similar to the saying "you can't see the forest for the trees." I get involved with the day* to-day running of MSG and never get to see the big picture. There are a number of things I would like to mention. Hopefully the resume service which MSG just intiated will become as popular as check cashing. I feel it is a step foward. Similarly, I hope that a tradition of MSG providing shuttles to the hockey games, which were popular, will continue. I could go on about what we did but that is not the purpose of this, my last "Off the

Record". I wish instead to thank publicly the many people who have helped us out this year. To the unsung heroes of SAC who toiled throughout the year in providing an entertaining calendar, the representatives who this years'freshmanwill have seen working orientation and those reps who showed up week in and week out to hear me rattle on at MSG meetings, I offer my thanks. To the administration, whch listened when we had a problem and which, in most cases, either provided anf answer or accepted my answer, my thanks on the behalf of everyone in MSG. An administration which is sympathetic to the students is an asset to any school. vA special word of thanks to M r. Kennedy, (who is not as he seems, believe me). He was always helpful.

To Maureen Walsh, secretary to Mr, f Kennedy, my thanks also. She made * the year easier. If I forgot anyone, I'm sorry, you often can't remember everyone. Lastly, a special thanks to my ^fellow officers, Wid, Peggy, Barb and Tracy. The job couldn't have been done without all of you. It has been fun, exciting and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I wish to leave you with a thought. Remember MSG does far more than ^ you see. Take some time to find out S and offer some constructive criticism. It is your student government and you are the ones who will benefit from an improved organization. * Jj "Off the Record" is solely the opinion of its writer, and does not reflect the view of this publication, its staff or advertisers.

Sttfe UlUrriaii
Brian Sheridan, Editor Chris Kovski, Managing Editor . Jennifer Conmy, Sports/Editor Matthew J. Clark, News Editor Leslie Hafenmaler, Photo Editor Paula Bruno, Calendar Editor | Frank Pawlowskl, Circulation Manag

VOL. 60 NO. 21
Janine Adolphson Julie Cherlco

Margaret Coffey Ann Johnson

Typists Bridget Presuttl, Karen Casolo
The Merclad is the student-edited newspaper 38th Street, Erie, PA 16546. The Merclad of of Baldwin Hall, phone 825-0376.

Really, how much intelligence does fice, Phyllis Schlafly has plans to it take to realize that there are proshoot Jodie Foster because she's in love with Ronald Reagan and Ted 11 was perusing the pages of The bably, at most, one million college Turner is color blind. Militant, which is "a socialist students in this country. For the newsweekly published in the in- price of one of Reagan's:new Just kidding. I made those up. I didn't think you'd buy that last one.1 terests of working people," while bombers, each of these students Tfou get the idea. •S^e^" lounging in the Merclad office last could receive a $10,000 scholarship. Bye now. Or is it sell? I can never week, and I finally realized why Okay, call me impractical, call me remember what the stock market is most people have such a negative a Communist, even call me "Gorbachev's Little American Buddy" doing. They always refer to a bull or view of the media. 'It's because so many of the items (just don't call me late at night), but bear market, but what do these terms mean? Why don't they just found in the film footage of the eve- these tanks aren't even running yet. say, "Okay, maybe you should buy ning news or the pages of the late If it weren't for journalists, you f some stock," or, in the tradition of edition of the newspaper are "bad wouldn't know that. Richard Simmons, "Let's go, peonews." |] You also wouldn't knowfthat ple! Dump those stocks! And now Come on, people, let's get real Reagan has a "Ronco Reversible fivemillionto e touches — here*'News is "a report of recent Gorbachev/Tip O'Neill Dart righttoefirst!" events," and events are things that Board" on the wall in the Oval Ofare out of the ordinary. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't paying $936 for a hammer out of the ordinary? THE FAR SIDE By GARY LARSON I also think that a president deliberately disobeying an act of Congress is out of the ordinary. But journalists could have reported the good side of that. Here's the lead: "Government figures released today indicate that there were $90 billion spent in the past mont h that did not tt go to the Contrast] Okay, I realize that's a bitjfarfetched. So is Reagan's claim that he couldn't remember approving, or even discussing, clandestine arms sales to Iran with the proceeds going to the Contras. i That brings me to another of my pet peeves. Let's say that the Tower Commission report ran to 500 pages. There were probably 10,000 copies of that report-printed for distribution. We then have a total of five million pages. Think how many trees were cut down and processed for that report. James Watt must be sitting at home, cackling with glee whenever he considers that amount of destruction of our natural resources. J 'for crying out loud, Patrick —fslt down Government and bureaucratic ... And enough with the 'give me the stupidity in general bother me. potatoes or give me death' nonsense"
By Chris Kovski


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HRIM Awards SAC Closes Productive Year Announced At Ceremony
By Ann Johnson

The Student Activities Committee (SAC) is in the process of finalizing plans for the last few activities of the 1986-87 school year. Scheduled events include the Miss Mercyhurst competition, the counterpart to the Mr. Mercyhurst event held during Winter term, and Lazer Tag, an event to be held during Activities Weekend. Other projects are the weekly Sunday night movies, and helping MSG with the Spring formal. i When asked to comment on the performance of SAC during the past year, Lisa Costello, advisor to SAC, declared that it was a very good year. Costello cited the high turnout at the majority of SAC events as proof of the success. Entertainers like Bob Garner and Al Katz, and activities such as Family Feud, Monte Carlo Night, and the Roomate Game were, all well attended: Costello adds that she hopes the student community will support the remaining activities as well as they have supported the ones in the past. Costello commends the committeefortheir consistently hard work. Says Costello, "A lot of planning goes into providing one activity, let alone two a weekend. The members of SAC are tosbe commended because sometimes it s a very thankless job." * Tracy Wasson, chairperson of SAC, commented on her three years of involvement with the group. She says she's seen steady improvement over the last three years. "Things have gone very well. We've brought in new, different, and exciting activities. The officers have done a great job, and have given much time and effort." This year's committee consisted of 16 members, more than ever before. Wasson attributes much of the committee's success to the dedication of all the group's members. According to Wasson, next year's

chairperson has his work cut out for him, since the group's advisor, Costello, wilhnot be returning because she's getting married in September, and is movingtoCleveland. Wasson said that "Lisa will be irreplacable. We couldn't have done it without her. She has been an excellent advisor, and has provided excellent guidance." I YaCostello is also sentimental about her departure from Mercyhurst. She says, "I've really enjoyed working with the faculty, administration, and student body at Mercyhurst. Til miss them, and I'm sure I'll think often of Mercyhurst while I'm in Cleveland^' I 1

| j Mercyhurst's Hotel Restaurant Institutional Management Program honored its own at its 8th annual awards ceremony held on April 30, at the Top of the Hill Club at St. Mark's. Hosted by chairman John Wolper, students in the program were given awards for their service over the past year. ? The Chris McCabe Memorial Scholarship, which is presented to an outstanding sophomore for academic excellence and contributions to the department went to Brian Hines. 83

The one thousand dollar scholarship called the Richard C. Wlodarczyk Memorial that is presented to an outstanding sophomore/junior was awarded by William Ludwig, General Manager of Red Lobster Inns, went to Mary Arango. Lisa Gierszal and Michael Moorehead won the Hotel Restaurant Management Underclassman and Senior Awards, respectively. They were presented by Wolper for contributions to the department.. | To the senior student who has contributed their time and effort

over their four years at Mercyhurst, the HRM Faculty, Award is given. This year'sfwinner was Chris Renouf. The Hospitality Sales and Marketing Association Award for a students unselfish contributions as a member of the H.S.M.A. was presented to Susan Durante. The final award of the evening, the C. A. Curtze Memorial Scholarship, was presented to Matt Robaszkiewicz. The award was for $500. f I

(Based on Current Class Status) Seniors, Juniors" *£ 9:00 a.m.-12:00 noon Monday, May 11 :i' Blue Room Sophomores * 1:00 p.m.-4:00 p.m. Monday, May 11 Blue Room Freshmen 9:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m, Tuesday, May 12 Blue Room Adult College Students ; l9:00a.m.-6:00p.m. Monday, May 11 Adult College Office All Students $ ? 9:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m. Wednesday-Friday, May 13-May 15 Registrar's Office

Registration JDates May 11-May 15



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Nothing Sacred
By Brian Sheridan V m not much of a metaphysical guy, but a while ago I found myself wasting time by thinking about time. All right, all right I know this isn't like contemplating on the 12 Pathways to Higher Consiousness, but give me a break— I work for a living. While I wasted time with time I realized that we have been asking the wrong question about time all of this time. It's not "Does Anyone Really Know What Time It Is?" but "But Does Anyone Really Know What Time IS, And Does Anyone Really Care?" jfc i | % The culture reflects our confusion about time. Time After Time, The Time Machine, As Time Goes By, "60 Minutes" which only lasts 55 minutes. (Do the) Time Warp, Time Out for Trivia, Time Bandits, Time magazine. I'm not sure that even Time magazine knows what time is unless time is broken down into "World," "Nation," "People," and "Movies." For the people at Time, time only costs $1.95 and comes out weekly. This is not the time frame I live in. We use time as a crutch to excuse ourselves from going places and doing things that we really didn't want to do. It's time to go. Time to run. Give me some time to think about that. Give me some time. I have time to kill. I need time. Time to be by myself. When you hear that one you know it only means "I need time to be by mysel f.with someone else" or "I need time to find someone else. The excuses time gives us work wonders because time is such an elusive beast. The Eyptians created time, the Swiss perfected time. Americans, however, are pompous enough to believe that they can control time. Each Fall and Spring we adjust the clocks so we can have an hour, more or less, of sunlight? Why? Beside the fact that I don't like sunlight, especially early in the morning, that hour they tell us we saved when we set the clocks back never gets put to good use. We spend it trying to figure out how to adjust the time on those damn digital clocks and watches. £ When I was recently on a cross country flight, the pilot told us that we would be landing an hour ahead of schedule. We could have landed two hours ahead of schedule if he dumped the plane down onto the first open field he saw. Another puzzling component of time is that banks always have time and temperature readouts on the outside of their buildings. Do banks really believe that time is money? If so, what is temperature? If you go to a bar, "Happy Hour*' lasts two and the state governments are trying to abolish it, because they say it leads to drunk driving and other maladies. Why don't they just force bars to tell time in the normal way, where one hour equals one hour? Other signs of this time manipulative society are video tape machine owners taping a show and watching it later. This is known as "time shifting," and watching a show when it's not on just isn't natural . I can'tfindthings to watch on television when shows are being aired at the their normal time. All that purposly taping a rerun of "Three's Company" or "The New (See "Sacred" page 7)

a Malone Reynolds')Rug* Returns To The Big! Screen In
By Brian Sheridan In his recent movies, Burt Reynolds has run into two problems—bad scripts and bad hair. Most of the scripts <have been hackneyed, cliched exercises in either stupid slapstick or mucho macho violence while Reynolds' toupee has sat on his head looking like a piece of withered lettuce. That hairpiece has been somewhat of a symbol for the allaround shoddy quality of his films made this decade. Like in HEAT, Reynolds* last picture released a few months ago, not only did the movie receive a cool box office reception but also dumbfounded reactions from its audience as Reynolds' hairpiece'mysteriously changed styles from scene to scene. Now MALONE, his second of three "comeback" films madefora 1987 release, appears not to mark the comeback of Reynolds himself but of his hair. The rug Burt sports in MALONE passes more naturally than his previous ones; One cannot say the same, however, for the pretentious slow-moving, dullwitted script which leaves Burt, with his hair, looking bored and listless. This must be the English-born, French-educated Christopher Frank's idea of a real honest-togood ness traditional American tough guy movie. Only his dialogue isn't hard-boiled, it's just hard to swallow. I The script is an adaptation of a novel by William Wingate, who could be at fault for the hollow dialogue, but one senses from the amount of bad lines that no one would publish a novel that actually has the character Reynolds' plays tell a young girl, "I've got socks older than you." This quip works when Bob Hope says it to Brooke Shields, but other than that it really isn't too funny. And can any movie where the villain (Cliff Robertson) retorts to the town's crooked sheriff "I bought your badge, not your opinion," really expect to be taken as a serious thriller? >*• \ Someone had to have tampered with the novel to create something as hokey as MALONE. It should have opted for being campy. Reynolds plays an ex-CIA assassin who goes to Oregon to escape the company. His car breaks down in a small town and he gets caught up in a land feud. MALONE sounds fine and dandy up to here. Reynolds gets pushed by the town's baddies and fights to protect a farmer and his daughter, which sounds like an updated version of SHANE—-which, at times, M ALONE seems to aspire to :ffl
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Then, it begins to suffer from a silly paranoia. Not satisfied to"just be a story of a man fighting a war that is not his own, the plot has strive for megalomaniac proportions. Robertson has his own hit squad and computer network which links him to the CIA and the FBI. He calls his men "patriots" and delivers pompous "love it or leave it" speeches about America, dressed in a bush jacket or fatigues. Robertson overplays to the hilt and


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becomes good for a laugh. The CIA also comes looking for Reynolds after a while in the form of Lauren Hutton, who's just as off beat as Robertson. As for Reynolds, he looks half asleep. Making three movies in a year can tire one out, and making the same movie twice can lead one to sufferfroma terminal case ofdeja vu. MALONE seems just like HEAT but it takes place on a farm. The ads promise the film to be "explosive" but they might have meant "excruciating." Director Harvey Cokliss drags everything out for the longest 92 minutes on record . The action scenes don't pump | in any life. They are shot in slow motion and this film really does almost grind to a halt because of it. You know it's a long haul when you find yourself questioning the believeablity of scenes like the one where Reynolds spryly sprints and leaps across afieldonly a week after taking a belly full of lead from an Uzi submachine gun. All throughout MALONE, however, Burt's furry head frisbee looks pretty good. Unfortunately a nice head of hair does not a good movie make or so said Telly Savalas and Yul Brynner. Ripping that rug off and doing character parts with Dom DeLuise just might be the only answer for Reynolds. He's funny poking fun at himself on the "lbnight Show." Why can't he just do that on the big screen and leave the "grunt and groan" movies like MALONE to this year's model of screen hunk.

From the movie "Malone," starring Burt Reynolds and his new hair
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Important Notice
We want to make it perfectly clear to all of our readers that next week's issue of The Merciad will be the last one of the year. Let's bold face that and everyone repeat after me: "Next week will be the last Issue of The Merciad of the year." Good. You all get A's for that. This means that |any annoucements, letters, gripes and moans must be into our office, in the subterrainian complex beneath Baldwin Hall, no later than Friday by noon. So if any of you seniors want to make a final comment about your 'Hurst experience get it to us by tomorrow. Our post office box is 129 and all letters must be signed or they will not be printed. As for stories next week, the issue will be cooking with "Nothing Sacred Meets Kovski's Korner," Forum by our writer-in-residence Jack Kuniczak, interviews with Mike Kelly and announcements of next year's editors. Plus the usual

WE'RE LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD PEOPLE No, we're not recuiting for the military. We are asking that anyone interested in working in the Student Health Service, 101 Preston, during the 1987-88 school year, please inquire at our office before May 20, 1987. Our office is open Monday thru Friday, 9 a.m. to noon, and from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. You must qualify for either work study or institutional employment to apply. For more info, stop by Health Services or call extension 431 or 432. PSYCHOLOGY AND THE ARTS An exciting course will be offered next Fall called "Psychology and the Arts." Concerned with using psychology to help us understand the effects of music and art, it will answer such questions from "Why do we like music?" to "Do colors have emotional significance?" and "Can instrumental music reveal the performer's emotions?" \*: The course will be taught by Dr. Mark Gridley, a psychologist and professional musician. He has taught the course to students at Oberlin, Baldwin-Wallace, Case Western Reserve and John Carroll University, and led lecture tours at the Cleveland Art Museum. He has also written two books that teach teachers how to use psychological principles to help listeners get the most out of music. In the course, Dr. Gridley will play recordings he collected during trips to Africa and South America, as well as drawing upon his collection of American

music and art objects. The course is listed as Psychology 297, offered Monday, /Wednesday and Friday from 3 p.m. to 4 p.m. All students are welcome. No prior knowledge of?music or art is necessary. Eyes, ears and curiosity are the only prerequisites. SUMMER JOBS The Freshman Studies office will be hiring two students whose responsibilities will be a resident assistant and tutor. This is for a summer enrichment program being held June 14 through July 2 and August 23 through August 28. Interested applicants may pick up an application in Preston, Room 201. MISS ERIE COUNTY | The-first Miss Erie County Scholarship Pageant will be held August 15 at the Warner Theatre. The pageant is open to Erie are female residents, age 17 to 25 (as of August 1, 1987). J Applications are available at the Erie Area Chamber of Commerce office, 1006 State Street, and The Finishing Tbuch by Ferrariil917 West 8th Street.?Applications will be accepted until May 15,1987. More information can be obtained by calling Ms. Linda Ferrari af 452-4443. E MUSIC DEPARTMENT ThefMercyhurst College Wind Ensemble, under the direction of Robert Dolwick, closes its 1986-87 season with a performance on Wednesday, May 13 at 8:00 p.m. in the Christ the King Chapel, located on the Mercyhurst campus.

This concert is presented free of charge and the public is cordially invited to attend. The Mercyhurst College Choir, under the direction of Joseph Chiarelli, will perform A SPRING CONCERT on Sunday, May 17 at 3:30 P.M. in the Christ the King Chapel located on the campus. Also featured willibe a small STRING ENSEMBLE. Admission is free. PHILOSOPHY CONTEST The Department of Philosophy and Religious Studies is sponsoring a philosophy essay contest. Any essay on any philosophical topic is welcome. Submit all entries to Dr. J Donahue (225 Preston) by May&5,1987. Winners will be announced on May 18. First prize is $60 and second prize is $40.



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So until next Thursday, Ed and I thank you for, your continued support.

Fellowship Awarded To Student
Presidential Fellowship awarded to Michelle Matheron, senior, Criminal Justice corrections major, minor in political science. (From Randolph, NY) Only two such fellowships awarded annually to incoming graduate students— at SUNY at Albany. Michelle will be studying'at oner of the best graduate schools in Criminal Justice, where one of our former students, Mary Ann Finn, is currently completing her doctoral studies. Michelle is president of Alphas Phi Sigma, Upsilson Chapter, the Criminal Justice Honor Society, and has led the Chapter to recognition as Outstanding Established Chapter in 1986-87.

American Youth Hostels is your key to worldwide e d w t u r e , friendship and travel — on a low budget. From medieval cattle* to Swiss chaletvAYH opens the door to over 5,000 hostels in 50 countries. Send in the coupon below for details.fc
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(Continued from page 6) Dating Game" so you can watch it later really shows is that you have too much time on your hands. •jAs for keeping time, we'have chronometers that tell us the time in every country down to the nanosecond. We don't need this when most of us don't move ahead with time as it keeps slipping, slipping into the future. We are happy to stick to old ways and old habits so we buy watches that are cute and fashionable but don't have any numbers on them. Next they wont even have hands on them.<,Watches should dispense with telling us the hour and minute and starting showing us where we stand on the linear time table, whether our lives are in the now or we are just sweep hands in the face of eternity. Henry David Thourea said "Time is but a stream I go fishing in." He lived by himself in the woods which goes to show you how popular one can get by discussing time. That stream, though, people, is filled with dark murky water and you don't know what kind of toxic stuff has been dumped in it. If you're going to gofishingin the stream, you'd better have a pair of waterproof hip I waders. I'd go with you but I just ran _out of time. f [


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Lady Lakers Riding High With |13 Record
By Jennifer Conmy
The Mercy hurst Lady Lakers raised their season record to 13-5 when they split a doubleheader with sixth-ranked Allegheny on Saturday. Allegheny gained die win in the first game, 2-1, with the Lakers coming back to defeat the Lady Gators 7-3 in the second match up. The Lady Lakers were led with a five run sixth inning. Debbie Bonniger pitched the first game, bringing home a six hitter. Kathy Burick and Tammy Phillips each hit triples in the seventh inning, but the Lakers could not capitalize on them, losing the game by one run. The Lakers paired up five hits with two errors in the sixth inning of the second game to put together the 7-3 win. Lisa Pallotto was the winning pitcher; she also had two hits, two RBIs and scored two runs. 5 Julie Kemling lost her 16-game hitting streak when she went 0-3 in the opener. In the nightcap, Kemling went 3-4 at bat, scoring two runs and two RBIs. Earlier in the week, the Lakers posted their sixth straight win with a sweep of a doubleheader with Grove City on Thursday. Phillips led Mercyhurst to its 9-6 win in the first game, going 4-for-4 at the plate. Kemling, Angie Foster, and Pallotto al 1 had two hits in the opener. Pallotto had two hits in the second game, while Kemling turned in a home run in the Laker effort. Pinch hitter Debbie Smith produced two hits for the Lakers. The Lady Lakers also swept a doubleheader from Gannon early in the week, 4-2 and 9-1. Kemling had two hits in the first game, while Phillips had two hits with two RBIs in the second game.

Softball Batting Average Summary
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • ^ • ^ • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • ^ • • • H Player* Emmi Burick Kemling Palloto Phillips Foster Smith Bernatowicz Johnson Kuhar Densmore |

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1 0 4 0 4 3 1 0 0 1 1 2. 1 0

0 3 1 0 2 1 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0

0 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

333 .296 .534 387 316 .269 .222 .184 .172 .171 .187 333 .250 .000

11 19 6 14 2 1 8 2 0 3 2 0 6 7 5 6 3 4 1 0

18 60 14 19

Improved jLakers Down Behrend Twice
By Jennifer Conmy
The Mercy hurst Lakers gained a doubleheader sweep over Penn State-Behrend 9-4, 8-6, raising their record to 8-19. John Kosko was the winning pitcherforthe *Hurst in the first game. Scott Gorring hit a home run, while Phil Sorensen, Frank Yuskula, and Urn Donovan each had a pair of hits. On the Lions' side, Marty Cunningham had two hits in their losing effort. %

Jowett i t'.-i Burkhart %?* Bonniger

Yuskula pitched the winning game in the nightcap, while turning in three hits as well. Steve Loshelder turned in two triples and a single in the Lakers' strong win. Pena State-Behrend's Reese Witzels two triples were not enough to top the Lakers, in their 8-6 win. The Lakers will finish their season today against Allegheny College at home, Brabender Field, at 1:06 p.m. f

1987-88 Cheerleaders Named
By Jennifer Conmy

Crew Teams Capture Eight First? Places In Marietta
By Jennifer Conmy
The Mercyhurst crew team captured eight first place finishes in the Mid-American Rowing Association Regatta in Marietta, Ohio. The races were held on Sat., May 2. j The * Hurst finished in the first place-in the women's freshman eight, women's freshman four, men's freshman four, men's varsity heavyweight four, men's varsity heavyweight eight, men's varsity heavyweight pair, men's varsity lightweight eight, and the 500-yard dash. | Mercyhurst competed against Marietta College, University of Charleston, Toledo, Michigan State, Ohio State, and Duquesne. The team will travel to Philadelphia this weekend to compete in the Dad Vail National Tournament.

The 1987-88 Mercyhurst College cheerleading squad was named after tryouts on Apijl 24. The judging paneTconsisted om986-87 Senior Co-Captains Julie Juenemann and Karen Davidson, cheerleading advisor Judy* Richter, Dave Curtis, Luke Rupple, and John Leisering. The new 1987-88 squad will consist of thefollowingstudents: j E Mary Arango, (Jr.) who will be in her third year. Lori Bartone, (Soph.) who will be in her second year. x-ij Becky Beige, (Fr.) who will b e in her first year. Katie Ferraro, (Soph.) w h o will be in her second year.

Michelle Hondal, (Jr.) who will be in her third year. Christi Livi, (Soph.) who will be in her second year. Karen Mallow, (Fr.) w h o will be in h e r second year. ? . Joanne Roverstahl, (Fr.) w h o is new to the squad. g Tina Sementelli, (Jr.) will be a third year member. Kelly Feohig, (Fr.) will be in her second year on the squad. Rounding out the squad will be Melani Weidner, a sophomore in her second year. Sementelli and Hondal have been named co-captains of the squad. The squad will begin duties with the firstfootballgame of the '87-88 season.

Softball Mercyhurst Allegheny Mercyhurst Grove City Mercyhurst Gannon Baseball Mercyhurst Behrend 1 9 2 3 9 6 4 9 2 1 4 6 9 8


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