This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
- Mark Twain
By Charles Comfort My wife read somewhere recently as one of several ways to relieve stress: Eat Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner by candlelight, if at all possible. We've been doing that (in fact we had started doing that even before she read about it. It isn't possible for everyone every day, I know, but it does work!! By A Griffin Mama, California I've learned that the quickest way for children to go from quiet to rowdy is for me to pick up the phone... By Rick Norris of Monroeville, Indiana In the heat of an argument, if it feels good don't say it. By Mark M I have learned that it is the teachers who truly subsidize our children’s educations. By Debbie Z I have learned that you should live like you are going to live forever, but love like you are going to die tomorrow. By I’m creative I live by the saying, "Choice, not chance, determines destiny." The miracle isn't that I finished...the miracle is that I had the courage to try! A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. "A priest! Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd but finds no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. "A PRIEST, PLEASE!" the dying man says again. Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age."Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I'm living behind St. Mary's Catholic Church on Third Avenue, and every night I'm listening to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man." The policeman agrees and brings the octogenarian over to the dying man. He kneels down, leans over the injured and says in a solemn voice:
"B - 4. I - 19. N - 38. G - 54. O - 72." BINGO!
"If I can't get the girl, at least give me more money."
- Alan Alda Contrary to popular belief, Father's Day was not established by Hallmark, American Greetings or others to increase the card business. In fact there were no Father’s Day cards when the holiday was contemplated. Mrs. John Dodd, of Washington, first proposed the idea of a "father's day" in 1909. Mrs. Dodd wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart. William Smart, a Civil War veteran, was widowed when his wife (Mrs. Dodd's mother) died in childbirth with their sixth child. Mr. Smart was left to raise the newborn and his other five children by himself on a rural farm in eastern Washington State. It was after Mrs. Dodd became an adult that she realized the strength and selflessness her father had shown in raising his children as a single parent. The first Father's Day was observed on June 19, 1910 in Spokane Washington. At about the same time in various towns and cities across American other people were beginning to celebrate a "father's day." In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge supported the idea of a national Father's Day. Finally in 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day. Father's Day has become a day to not only honor your father, but all men who act as a father figure --stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers, and adult male friends are all honored on Father's Day. This is Rex Barker reminding you to really reach out to those special men in your life –- fathers, grandfathers and role models, who have helped make you who you are today
You Know You're Living in 2007 When...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. I've always found paranoia to be a perfectly defensible position."
- Pat Conroy
but I never walk back. and stand with him while he is right. Every one desires to live long. under a just God. I am not bound to win. If you would win a man to your cause.. and part with him when he goes wrong. It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him. it will be because we destroyed ourselves.enjoy! .. America will never be destroyed from the outside. and. but I am bound to be true. deserve it not for themselves. The philosophy of the school room in one generation will be the philosophy of government in the next. Hospital Bloopers . When I do good. Some day I shall be President. That's my religion. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg. Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. I feel good. To ease another's heartache is to forget one's own. When I do bad.Part Two. but no one would be old. I'm a slow walker. we must think and act anew. Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be..Those who deny freedom to others. I am not bound to succeed. can not long retain it. How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. These were actual hospital patient reports. As our case is new. first convince him that you are his sincere friend. but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I feel bad.. You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was. If we falter and lose our freedoms. I must stand with anybody that stands right. I will prepare and some day my chance will come.
During one point of the travels they got into an argument. got stuck in the mire and started drowning. constant infrequent headaches.13. Skin: somewhat pale but present. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. why?" . you carve out of stone. 19. but no other abnormalities. The skin was moist and dry. until she got a divorce. Patient has two teenage children. After the first one recovered from his near drowning. wrote in the sand: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE. While in ER. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. where they decided to take a bath. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 25.Orson Welles Two friends were walking through the desert. 18. you wrote in the sand and now. But I can't stop eating peanuts. The one who had been slapped. she was examined. Rectal exam ination revealed a normal size thyroid. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 14." They kept walking until they reached an oasis. I saw your patient today. who is still under our car for physical therapy. The one who got slapped was obviously hurt. but his friend saved him. but without saying a word. 23. x-rated and sent home. 20. 16." The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him. 17. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. Occasional. 15. 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 24. and one friend slapped the other one in the face. he carved out on a stone: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE. 22. "After I hurt you. I hate television. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life." .
"Jesus is watching you. He shined his flashlight around. clicked his flashlight off. When he heard nothing more after a bit." the parrot confessed. when someone does something good for us. his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.He replied: "When someone hurts us.. in the corner of the room." "I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly. we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack.Michel de Montaigne By Elvisal Life is like a roller coaster ride . By Spock It is possible to have made no error and still lose. and froze." This is Rex Barker." replied the bird. "I'm just trying to warn you. huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses. "Jesus is watching you. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires." ." The burglar relaxed." He nearly jumped out of his skin. reminding you to learn to “write” your problems and pains in sand. In this season of His love He has a . "Moses?" the burglar laughed. when a strange. Jesus. "Warn me. but carve your blessings in stone. "Yep. looking for the source of the voice. then squawked. you’re not getting your money’s worth. A burglar broke into a house one night. but if you’re not screaming. but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. clear as a bell he heard. disembodied voice echoed from the dark." Freaked out. he shined his light around frantically. saying. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "The same kind of people that would name a pit bull.. he shook his head and continued. Finally.it has its ups and downs. Keep the faith. By P5 You may be going through a tough time right now. we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. Someone To Watch Over Me. But. looking for valuables.
. don’t let your friends down.623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ California: By 30. Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Colorado: If You Don't Ski. By Bita D "SILENCE" is the golden key of "WISDOM.tomorrow it may be against the law. We Have Electricity ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alaska: 11. Don’t give up no matter what. and don’t let yourself down. Just look ahead and see what is in front of you and go for it. If you want to do something. By Barbara S My mother always told us: What you do speaks so loudly that no one can hear what you are saying. Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ . Don’t let me down. Do YOU Know Your State Motto? Alabama: Heck Yes. By Bulldoggin If you fall. This means you're leaning toward the Finish Line." By jjgnjag An old person is just someone with a young person inside them wondering what happened. Don't Bother ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Connecticut: Like Massachusetts. It's easier to get forgiveness than permission. Have a fulfilled season. make sure you fall on your face. Don’t forget that winners don’t quit. By Chuck H If it works. don't fix it. don’t see anything as impossible. you should do it today .better plan for you and nothing can stop it from manifesting in your life.
. We Can Tax It ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Minnesota: 10. But That's Our Tourism Campaign ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Maine: We're Really Cold. Well Okay. Only No Singing .000 Mosquitoes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Montana: Land Of The Big Sky.. The Unabomber.. We're Not.000. But We Have Cheap Lobster ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Maryland: If You Can Dream It. And 10.000 Lakes. Fifteen Last Names ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunken Cajun Wackos.Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum. You Have The Right To an Attorney ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oklahoma: Like The Play. Right-wing Crazies.000.000.. Leave Your Money) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes . and Little Else ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nevada: Prostitutes and Poker! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent. But The Potatoes Are Real Good ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kentucky: Five Million People.
and The Sheep Are Scared I know nothing about sex because I was always married. put spoons and bowls on the table and prepared the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.: Wanna Be Mayor? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ West Virginia: One Big Happy Family. "I'm tired... She picked up the game pieces left on the table. I think I'll go to bed.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oregon: Spotted Owl. .. Really! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wyoming: Where Men Are Men .for all you moms and those who have wives. Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said. ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.but well worth the read . D. put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer. checked the cereal box levels. put a load of clothes into the washer. filled the sugar container... took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening. I Speak English) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Vermont: Yep ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slack jaw Yokels Don't Mix? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Washington: Help! Nerds And Slackers Overrun Us! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Washington.. She then put some wet clothes in the dryer.... and it's getting late.C. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls. It's What's For Dinner. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn’t Actually Surrender ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tennessee: The Educashun State ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes." -Zsa Zsa Gabor This has been around before ." She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches..
but first throw a grenade. straightened up the shoe rack.. We also tied small strips of white cloth in it so that we could see the wire at night. addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick list for the grocery store. Ohler...without another thought. "I thought you were going to bed. . She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's. Our job was to make sure nobody passed the wire around our perimeter." And he did. She put both near her purse. She said her prayers. She signed a birthday card for a friend. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside. I had just turned 19 and was shore stationed with the 7th Marine Regiment 1st Marine Division Chu lie Viet Nam waiting to be assigned a permanent battalion.. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher. Firing your weapon would give away your position. laid out clothing for the next day. Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser. The sergeant of the guard told us if you see movement at your front do not fire your weapon. Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. In her own room. by Edwin H. and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair. hung up a shirt. "I'm going to bed. We had put a C-Ration can with a few stones in them to make noise if anyone would get into the wire. Dad called out. About that time. emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on. and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.She watered the plants. counted out some cash for the field trip. brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails. she set the alarm. and visualized the accomplishment of her goals. This was my first time and." she said. threw some dirty socks into the hamper. of course I was a bit nervous. Marine and Vietnam Vet I was a Marine in Vietnam." "I'm on my way. During that time I was required to do my fair share of perimeter guard duty. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. Anything extraordinary here? Perimeter Guard Duty. put on her night solution & age fighting moisturizer.
not knowing what else to do. I told him that I threw them into the wire. What do you want. the first man saw a fruitbearing tree on his side of the land. "Why are you leaving your companion on the island?" "My blessings are mine alone. Then around 0500 the wind picked up again and I threw another grenade.It was around 0230 or maybe 0300 when whe wind picked up and rattled the barbed wire in front of me. The next day. The two survivors. agree that they had no other recourse but to pray. However." We then walked down the hill and picked up my grenades with the pins still in them I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skindeep. the second man still had nothing. He said. and he was able to eat its fruit. The first thing they prayed for was food. like magic. all of these were given to him. The other man's parcel of land remained barren. an adorable pancreas?" -Jean Kerr A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small. more food. the first man prayed for a ship. I threw a grenade! Nothing happened. That's deep enough. Soon the first man prayed for a house. As the ship was about to leave. so that he could leave the island. they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island. Finally. The lizards were barking their unusual bark and the stones were rattling. However. When corporal of the guard came around with our day time relief. He asked me where were my grenades. The next morning. "I didn't hear any thing explode last night. desert like island. he found a ship docked at his side of the island. In the morning. to find out whose prayer was more powerful. The wind died down and all was quiet except for the lizards and their infernal bark. the first man heard a voice from heaven booming. Heb boarded the ship with decided to leave the second man on the island. clothes. Again nothing happened. .
. 2006 was the safest year for airlines. He didn’t want to be photographed going to jail so he pulled his T-shirt up over his head. You can’t have an accident if you never leave the runway." "You are mistaken!" the voice rebuked him. "Not such a great day for the "Girls Gone Wild” guy. In honor of Earth Day.” his home in London was robbed." the first man asked the voice." -Conan O'Brien "According to a news report out today. The Best of Late Night." "Tell me. Police say it was the work of professional thieves.. "His prayers were all unanswered and so he does not deserve anything." -Craig Ferguson "While Simon Cowell was in Los Angeles working on "American Idol." This is Rex Barker reminding you that our blessings are rarely the result of our only our own prayers. but also the fruits of others praying for us. It’s mostly due to JetBlue." the first man answered." -Jay Leno "Sunday is Earth Day. If not for that. on the average.since I was the one who prayed for them. And he cried. you would not have received any of my blessings. He got sentenced to 35 days in jail for contempt of court in Florida. " -David Letterman "A new study says that heart disease is related to erectile dysfunction. "what did he pray for that I should owe him anything?" "He prayed that all your prayers be answered." . Joe Francis. all of today’s jokes have been recycled. which I answered. "He had only one prayer. No wonder Dick Cheney has been so grumpy all the time. but Cowell described them as "amateurish and uninspired.
It was warm and still. When asked why he wants to manage Britney." -David Letterman "The story that has rocked show business: Rosie O’Donnell announced that she’s leaving "The View. he said." -David Letterman .: Attorney General Alberto Gonzales says that despite the criticism of his performance.C." -Jay Leno "Big news: Rosie O’Donnell is leaving "The View. It’s like I have a twin.” The sad part: None of the other hosts on "The View” heard what she said because they were all talking at the same time. Despite the criticism." -Jay Leno "Beautiful day. she shaved her head and checked into rehab. I read that in the paper this morning in the car as I was driving to work." -David Letterman "News from Washington D.” After making that announcement. "She‘s like the third untalented daughter I never had. Actually the only breeze we had was from the Yankees blowing another game.-Jay Leno "Jessica Simpson’s father has offered to manage Britney Spears’ career. he will not resign. In fact. he will not resign." -Conan O'Brien "Prime Minister Tony Blair says that bad drivers kill more people and are a bigger threat to the world than war and disease.
I have learned that the way up is down. I have learned that if you do not know how to be a child. asking you to KEEP SENDING us in your lessons that you have learned in life. We need to be really bothered once in a while. about something real?" -Ray Bradbury By Johngjr I have learned that if you cannot laugh at yourself. How long is it since you were really bothered? About something important. This is Rex Barker. below the surface. the legs are busy paddling. The second time it kicks you in the rear. By Dick Darling Opportunity strikes twice. someone else will do it for you. Please put LESSON in the subject line. By Yer H I have learned that everyone is human and makes mistakes. I have learned that though the duck may seem relaxed on the surface of a stream. By Albert P I have learned never to pee uphill. it is you who will choose to either go around it. M. By Mike R There is no such thing as a stupid question. By urguess isasgoodasmine I would rather sleep on something I want to do than be kept awake by something I have already done. By Owheruo A. then you're not human I have learned that although life is a journey filled with many bumps and potholes. I have learned that the way to success is full of so many tempting parking spaces. Your last name will Prison vs. just stupid mistakes. Work . but if you don't fix your mistakes. or go over it!! (From Rex – or fall in) By Majeed I’ve learned that it is better to have a good engine in your car with a bad body than have a bad engine with a good body. or spit into the wind."We need not to be let alone. you will also not know how to be an adult.
IN PRISON. AT WORK.." -Nancie J.the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you..... the little 3-year-old girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said "This is for you..you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.you can't even speak to your family....you can watch TV and play games. AT WORK. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. AT WORK. IN PRISON. you have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat." He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction. IN PRISON....they allow your family and friends to visit. IN PRISON.. a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. you get your own toilet.you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.you get time off for good behavior.you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars......all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required...you spend the majority of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.......... IN PRISON.. AT WORK.you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell... they are called managers..you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.. AT WORK.... AT WORK.you get fired for watching TV and playing games.. AT WORK. IN PRISON..you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself. IN PRISON... Daddy. AT WORK. AT WORK. . Carm The story goes that some time ago. but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty. IN PRISON.Iin case you ever got the two mixed up. IN PRISON. this should make things a bit more clear. IN PRISON. "I am thankful for the taxes I pay because it means that I'm employed... AT WORK.you get three meals a day.you must deal with sadistic wardens.you get more work for good behavior. Nevertheless.
sharing machinery. As the crowd cheered. Daddy. and asked the little man. sharpen up that pencil. and said in a tiny squeaky voice "I'd like to try the bet. Animals just respond to stimuli. wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit. get out those tax forms. He put his arms around his little girl. "Oh.. Americans: time to gather up those receipts. the bartender said OK. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. grabbed a lemon. It is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged. It . and stab yourself in the aorta.. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. the bartender paid the $1000. You are funny. Then the long collaboration fell apart. Daddy." The father was crushed. "I'm an IRS Agent. Humans were given brains to think . One day this scrawny little man came into the bar. if you have one.and hold your temper. All for you. and he begged for her forgiveness. "Don't you know that when you give someone a gift. and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch. there's supposed to be something inside it?" The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said. Many people had tried over time (weightlifters. All too often we misunderstand situations and act accordingly . This is Rex Barker reminding you to always think before you speak and act . "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack.so please don't forget that we all have to use them When Life Gives You Lemons. The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. and squeezed away. Humans were created differently from the animals. I blew kisses into the box. and hand the lemon to a patron. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. It was the first serious rift in 30 years of living side by side. what?" The man replied. he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the 3year-old child who had put it there." -Dave Barry Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict.He yelled at her. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass." "It's income tax time again. a weightlifter. it is not empty." After the laughter had died down. etc.causing irreparable harm often to those we care about deeply.) but nobody could do it. longshoremen.
"You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done. "I'm looking for a few days work" he said. Cool him down. Well." The older brother had to go to town for supplies. miscellaneous is always the largest category." said the older brother. his hand outstretched. he may have done this to spite me. Thoughts on Taxes. . "but I have so many more bridges to build.a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work. often the healthiest thing is distance from the other. See that pile of lumber curing by the barn? I want you to build me a fence -an 8-foot fence -. "No. it's my younger brother. but I'll go him one better. in fact. "I'd love to stay on. I've a lot of other projects for you. If all tax advisers were laid end to end.began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference. "I do have a job for you." This is Rex Barker. One morning there was a knock on the older brother's door.and the neighbor. his younger brother. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's toolbox. In abusive or truly hostile situations. and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence. Look across the creek at that farm. There was no fence there at all. A penny saved is bound to be taxed. his jaw dropped. Often egos take over. maybe you should rethink the situation." said the older brother. they would not reach an opinion. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. In tax rules. embracing one another. It was a bridge -. and we forget what even caused the conflict in the first place." The two brothers met at the middle of the bridge. reminding you that many (although not all) of your conflicts are reconcilable. anyhow. Could I help you?" "Yes. the carpenter had just finished his job. "Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. wait! Stay a few days. so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day. "I think I understand the situation. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. handrails and all -. If you were sincere friends with someone before." the carpenter said.." The carpenter said. The farmer's eyes opened wide. Where there's a will there's a tax shelter. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you. About sunset when the farmer returned. That's my neighbor.so I won't need to see his place anymore.. was coming across.
Albert Einstein. I like being sent tax returns by pessimistic tax inspectors--they never expect to get them back A tax inspector is someone who persists in holding his own view even after we've enlightened him with ours There are two sides to a debate on tax: until you take one For every tax problem there is a solution which is straightforward. politicians find it increasingly difficult to reconcile their net incomes with their gross habits. One needn't be a crank to miss the scientific boat. We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them. "I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. A fool and his money are soon parted.you drive hard to get to the green and then wind up in the hole.. but it hardly brings us any closer to the secret of the Old One. Golf is a lot like taxes -. uncomplicated and wrong.In any case I am convinced that God doesn't play dice with the Universe. Due to taxation. Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day. Here is Einstein's most frequently paraphrased statement of dissatisfaction with the theory: Quantum mechanics is very impressive. But an inner voice tells me that it is not yet the real thing. . why is it 50/50 that it will be you? A detailed analysis of tax strategy usually reveals that the best time to take positive tax action is last year. George Washington never told a lie. not in your eyes. but then he never had to file a Form 1040.I don't have a tax solution. If the chance of getting a tax audit is 1000 to 1. and ends with cries of "May Day!"? Do your tax return before breakfast and nothing worse will happen to you all day." -Stephen Wright The truth of a theory is in your mind. The theory yields a lot.. but I admire the problem. The rest of us wait until income tax time. but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. The very paragon of genius. couldn't be persuaded to give quantum physics his unreserved endorsement.
Things should be as simple as possible. outward success. How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn. This is Rex Barker. I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for every one.to me these have always been contemptible. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people. The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card. though he senses it. screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play. Wishing you all a great weekend It's Friday the 13th. for what purpose he knows not. It will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards. absorbing the brilliant mind of Einstein. The Friday the 13th Virus will make you fall in love with a penguin. but not simpler. best both for the body and the mind. luxury . publicity.Beware! Beware Of The Friday 13th Virus: It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty. It will put a dead aardvark in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice! . It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it... It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. It will drink all your beer and leave dirty socks on the coffee table when company comes over.Possessions.
"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. You can't solve a problem with the same kind of thinking that created it. The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking. but it gives you mega garlic breath as it does so. The Lord God is subtle. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. It does bad celebrity impersonations in front of your friends.the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind.. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.It is insidious and subtle. The Friday the 13th Virus will cause your cakes to fall and your blood pressure to rise. It will increase the ability of your radio to pick up reactionary talk stations at the expense of others.. It plays the bagpipes in your basement. but malicious he is not. It will leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower. True art is characterized by an irresistible urge in the creative artist. . Try not to become a man of success. which makes the net results negative. I should have become a watchmaker. but rather a man of value." -Peter Ustinov Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. It will leave the toilet seat up. It can forge your signature. The Friday the 13th Virus will give you Dutch Elm disease. If only I had known. It shaves over your bathroom sink and then leaves the hair to clog your drain. It cheats at Scrabble. It prevents scurvy.
" Did you watch American Idol last night? Sanjaya was not eliminated. Nobody is able to achieve this completely.. I was so worried. Stern was concerned she was taking too many drugs and asked her doctor if there was pill she could take for that. so I’ll talk about American Idol. That’s why I like Donald Trump." -Craig Ferguson . It turns out Anna Nicole Smith died of a drug overdose. This delusion is a kind of prison for us. but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security. Have a great weekend! The Best of Late Night. constantly amazed at the brilliant depth of Einstein’s mind." a part limited in time and space. Did you know that Sanjaya is an ancient Indian name meaning "William Hung. even beyond science. It is high time that the idea of success be replaced by the idea of service. Basically she had every known drug in the world in her body. Everyone’s talking about Sanjaya.. a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness." -Jimmy Kimmel "Actor Keanu reeves is accused of hitting a celebrity photographer with his Porsche Tuesday while leaving a parking lot. I will always take gimmicky hair over talent. called by us "Universe. He experiences himself. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important. restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Her attorney and her fake husband Howard K. his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest. The good news. This is Rex Barker." -Jay Leno "I can’t avoid it. there was no damage done to the Porsche. A human being is a part of the whole.” Did you know that?' -Jay Leno "South Florida police released the results of Anna Nicole’s Smith’s autopsy.
Think of your three best friends. then it's you. you vote one of your kids out of the house 8. Your TiVo recommends you get some counseling The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness." -Jay Leno Letterman's Top Ten Top Ten Signs You're Watching Too Much "American Idol" 10. dawg. Quite a guy. Hugh Heffner takes so much Viagra. Each week." -Jay Leno "In New York City this week. for I have sinned" 9. I understand that they are turning it into a Taco Bell franchise. Just pathetic" 7. "Forgive me. When "Idol" comes on. Had your stomach stapled like Randy and you weren't even overweight 4. you're an engineer — you're in the wrong place. You know what the technical name is for people with no hope of Internet access? AOL customers. that when he dies it’s going to be an open coffin. FOX switchboard operator knows you by name 6. If they're okay. You know. Got Adam Sandler to guest host your talk show so you could stay home and vote for Sanjaya 1. At confession. You understand what Paula Abdul is blabbing about 3." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in." -David Letterman "According to a new poll. officials found 400 pigeons and 250 rats living in an apartment. you say. households do not have Internet access and have little hope of getting it. After sex you say to your wife in a Brittish accent. so do the adult diapers 5." -Rita Mae Brown An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. "Awful. 29 percent of U."Happy birthday to Hugh Heffner — 81 years old today. "Ah.S. St. . No number 3 — writer watching "American Idol" 2. Peter checks his dossier and says.
The dialogue went like this: Interviewer: How long have you worked here? Production Lady: Since I left school . how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies. we have a good laugh." God replies. Interviewer (with a hint of disbelief): Really? Don't you find it a bit boring? ." God says.Pretty soon. and I'm keeping him. "So. it's great." Satan says. Interviewer: Do you enjoy it? Production Lady: Oooh Yes. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer. flush toilets and escalators. the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell.An interviewer was talking to production-line worker in a biscuit factory. "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff. flush toilets and escalators.about 15 years Interviewer: What do you do? Production Lady: I take packets of biscuits off the conveyor belt and put them into cardboard boxes. "Yeah right." Satan laughs uproariously and answers. After a while. Interviewer: Have you always done the same job?Production Lady: Yes. "Send him back up here or I'll sue." -Soren Kierkegaard This is a true story. things are going great. and starts designing and building improvements. they've got air conditioning. everyone is so nice and friendly. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?" Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. We've got air conditioning. "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake — he should never have gotten down there. and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. "Hey. send him up here. and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next. Some years ago the following exchange was broadcast on an Open University sociology TV program.
By Jason Amburgey Smiles are contagious.. without all the happy memories and mystery bruises." How much time would be saved by not having to go back and do things over. "Well. reminding you don't assume that that what motivates you is what motivate others. sometimes they change the biscuits. My motto in life as well as in my work is: "Do it right the first time.Production Lady: Oh no. .. By ajith jackie I have learned that if you want to be trusted…just tell the truth." I feel like I have a hangover. time and time again. and a company car leased every 2 years say. 14 paid holidays. depending on the benefits package. This is Rex Barker. but you started it.000 a year. I learned a long time ago that there is a difference between wanting something and needing something." I have learned from my boss to never stand on a street corner and argue with an idiot because a passerby can’t tell which one of you is the idiot. "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replies. a company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary. Everyone needs food. "In the region of $125. what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation. a red Corvette?" The Engineer sits up straight and says. "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer replies. People just want everything else. the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT. By Christy Ward I have learned from my grandmother that. I have learned the beauty in rain and music from my momma. It is also important to recognize that sources of happiness may vary widely between people Reaching the end of a job interview. "this too shall pass. full medical and dental. I have learned from my daddy that anything worth having is worth working hard for. "Yeah." -Ellen DeGeneres By M D Freeman You have undoubtedly heard many people say that they need something. clothing and shelter." The interviewer enquires.
m. (girls. not condemn someone for them. You've had 4 cups of coffee.yet you haven't peed once. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut. I have learned from one of my instructors in college that we are all different and we should celebrate those differences. You have the attention span of a gnat. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a staple gun. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd you at 3:45 a. Your body has lost the ability to generate . Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Stomach feels crappy. you are still parched. Two-Star Hangover: No pain. what you look like or the clothes you wear but the person you truly are inside and how you treat others around you. You are definitely a space shot and not so productive. you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is surfing the internet and writing junk e-mails. No real feeling of illness. Three-Star Hangover: Slight headache. your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Revere High. Even vegetarians are craving a steak bomb and a side of gravy fries from any truck stop USA. Something is definitely amiss. However. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball sub watching the E! fashion awards. a gallon of water. which is craving a rootie tootie fresh and fruity pancake breakfast from IHOP. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanor about the office. The entire appetizer list from TGIFridays 3. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pour and making you dizzy... Five-Star Hangover (a/k/a Dante's 4th Circle of Hell): You have a second heartbeat in your head (exacerbated by 6 bouts of the dry heaves) which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube.I have found out myself that it's not how much money you have. You would shoot your mother to have one or all of the following: 1. '76. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. By Deborah Bannister I've learn it's better to focus on what I have lost. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. One-Star Hangover: No pain. The clock to strike 6pm 2. but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. A time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before. 3 Snapples and a liter of Diet Coke . Four-Star Hangover: Life sucks. if to lose what I have A Hangover Ratings Guide. it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars) your teeth have sweaters. You wore nice clothes.
* I’ve learned that even if I care and get no return. at your house. It's when you wake up a few hours later with a lesser star hangover that you eat a large pizza. so your tongue is suffocating you. an order of Kung Pao Chicken. * I’ve learned that if you don’t have a grocery list. you don’t have a choice and have to watch them learn and deal with their decisions. * I’ve learned that no matter how many times you say goodbye it always carries a certain amount of sadness with it. * I’ve learned that life usually patterns itself like a storm. a ham and cheese omelet and a batch of Rice Krispie Treats. it always gets less with time. the effort wasn’t wasted. You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience. you never come home with everything you really needed. unaccompanied. * I’ve learned that the line beside you always moves faster until you move into it. what you drank and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed. * I’ve learned that it is much easier to give than to receive. it ends up on a one way street with you being the only one on it. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. * I’ve learned no matter how bad you want your kids to do the right thing. * I’ve learned that the person I took out on the first date isn’t going to be the same as the one on the 20th date after I know them. all you can manage to do is bitch about your state ." -Stanislaw J. . * I’ve learned that if love isn’t a two way street. let's face it. everyone else is early & visa-versa.k. You should have called in sick because. * I’ve learned that the world doesn’t wear a path down to your door. to shed a tear in the theater. Lec I’ve learned that no matter the amount of pain. in looking back after the hurt leaves. * I’ve learned that it is o.which is a mystery to you because you definitely don't remember who you were with. the rain and clouds are always followed by blue skies and sunshine if you have the patience to wait for them. * I’ve learned that for every good action you receive another good reaction. no one else can see you in the dark anyway. you have to go out and direct them to that door. * I’ve learned that anytime I am late. where you were. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty good right now. The only thing you can do is pass out.saliva.
"Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said. "Then leave this pub right now!" and approached a second man. Your last name will not be used. "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly. "Do you want to go to heaven?" "No." O'Toole replied. "Oh. but all are read! Do You Want To Go To Heaven!?. and said to the first man he meets. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now. and said." Father Murphy walked into a pub in Donegal. . unless you give us permission in your email. as he walked up to O'Toole." was the man's reply.000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.* I’ve learned that love is blind until you say." Skiing consists of wearing $3." said the priest.. "You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" O'Toole smiled. * I’ve learned that you never walk around with your zipper down with no one around. We get hundreds." . Father.PJ O'Rourke By Robyn My father taught me to measure twice. Please put LESSON in the subject line.. "I do Father.." The priest said. “I DO”.. Father. The priest looked him right in the eye. when I die. cut once. I don't Father. asking you to KEEP SENDING us in your lessons that you have learned in life. "Then leave this den of Satan. * I’ve learned that the surest way to have it rain is to hand wash and wax your car. yes. * I’ve learned that the quickest way to ruin a trip is to ask for directions a half mile before your turn This is Rex Barker.
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction . may have serious consequences." were my last words. Tomorrow the kid may be a famous comedian or a high school drop out who never took school seriously. because when they have gone you'll have nothing. However. I was invited out for a night with "the girls. By Pam I have learned that we should all be more concerned about our futures because we have the rest of our lives to live there. than to open it and be known as a fool"! By Sajida Davis The actions of today can affect your tomorrow. like being a class clown in school.remember? So.m. By John Thomas I have learned that the pundit was right when he said. "It's better to keep your mouth closed and have people think you’re an idiot. it is our responsibility to nourish them with lots of love and sunshine. It takes Godly wisdom to know the difference. By Irene F. The hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily and around 3 a. the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times! . We all want to enjoy life. even seemingly small actions. we piled into a cab and headed to our respective homes. By Koshy I have learned that worldly knowledge only fills the gap between ignorance and stupidity.By Imagine Davis I have learned that as a parent. "I promise. then maybe you should consider switching seats. Teaching and learning responsible behaviors and values means giving and receiving a priceless gift that will last a lifetime. By Albert & Lillian Partenheimer Love makes the world go round Laughter keeps you from jumping off The other night. quite inebriated. we will have to pay the consequences. Children are like gardens. have fun and be free spirits. Mazur I've learned that if you claim that God is your co-pilot through life. if destructive or irresponsible behavior is inclusive of our fun activities." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. By Johnson S Don't make some one your everything. the kind of person that you are today will predict the person your child will become in the future. Just as I walked through the door.
I replied. By Janine I went through a terrible divorce almost 4 years ago and when I finally escaped England to come back to Canada with my children.Realizing that my husband would probably wake up to this." .like I promised. I have learned that. If you decide life is not happy. I quickly cuckooed another 9 times. I asked him why. giggled. last night our clock cuckooed 3 times. I had a lot of hatred and bitterness towards my ex.Robert McCloskey By James W I've observed that for most people it is lucky that breathing does not require thought. NY I've learned that life is exactly what you make of it. but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. cuckooed twice more. my husband asked me what time I got in. crap. The person who damaged you has moved on and doesn't care anyway..' cuckooed 4 more times. to which he responded: "Well. "Midnight." Let it go because it only affects you. 'Oh. I was quit pleased with myself for coming up with such a quick witted solution to cover up my tardiness. then tripped over the coffee table and farted." A bit nervously. he then replied. .. "bitterness is like drinking poison and then waiting for the other person to die. By Diane from Syracuse. cuckooed another 3 times. cleared it's throat. Even with my impaired judgment." He didn't even raise and eyebrow and went on reading the morning paper! Phew! Got away with that one! After a moment. and confidently. By Linda My mother taught me it's a great life if you stay strong." "I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said. I could count 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos equaled 12 cuckoos! The next morning. then said. "I think we might need a new cuckoo clock.
TEACHER: Maria. A person’s behavior does not have to equal a negative reaction or feeling inside you. __________________________________________ . and Character becomes destiny.. Actions become character.it's because you haven't tried to make someone else happy first. Kids Say The Darndest Things. go to the map and find North America. there you are. jeevan bane mahaan.. you can't help but be happy too. By Sheila What I learned from Dr. Seuss: Be how you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't care. MARIA: Here it is. Now class. I have learned that the only fish swimming with the stream are the dead ones. why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. When you see the smile you've put on someone else's face. Words become actions. If your endeavors carry a target. TEACHER: Correct. By Cindy Carpenter Watch what you think because…thoughts become words. who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. Kartavyanishtha pran ho. MT I've learned that no matter where you go. your life will definitely become great. hothon pe muskan.. Everything works out just the way it's supposed to. Which means: There should be fire in your heart but your lips must contain an endless smile. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John. By Jitendra Verma I know that: Dil mein kashish ho.. and those who care don't mind. By Terry Nuss from Helena.
. Now. give me a sentence starting with "I. TEACHER: No. "I am. _______________________________________ TEACHER: Millie. why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well. Millie. TEACHER: Winnie...." MILLIE: All right. Always say.. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. but also admitted it..TEACHER: Glenn. I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. but you asked me how I spell it. that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong. what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. Louie. WINNIE: Me! __________________________________________ TEACHER: Rodney. ____________________________________________ TEACHER: Donald. do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." _________________________________ TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree.. how do you spell "crocodile?" GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L TEACHER: No..." MILLIE: I is.
do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir. ______________________________ TEACHER: Clyde. your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. tell me frankly. Simon.______________________________________ TEACHER: Now. what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?HAROLD: A teacher . I don't have to. TEACHER: Harold. it's the same dog. my Mom is a good cook. Did you copy his? CLYDE: No. teacher.
This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
We've moved you to where you read on your other device.
Get the full title to continue reading from where you left off, or restart the preview.