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volume sixty-seven, issue 9 ‘march 10, 2022 Masthead Editor's Address managing editor-in-chief Hello readers, ‘ania keller, ‘Weexperienced several production delays with thisone, and ‘content editor-in-chief so weare delighted to finaly share with you the Affirm Teas huntstian merkur Issue. While originally imened to go cut in February, Black histories and futures are always relevant to eutural treasurer productions ike our paper = constraining ourselves to Black sam swarup History Month ia disservice our goals of equity. Our contributors and editors have written on the eommodicaton production manager (of Black queer culture through sensationalized media, the ‘maya flischmant ‘work of decolonization in ontario, what afrofuturism means to ‘hem both as.aeoneept and lexical too, and much more! copy editor solv billingsey Your, Lives Huntsman Merkur & Annika Keller polities aitors-in-Chiet 2031/2022 livia ching & ramah jag “esha bienstock opinions ash man & carelesarkis ‘arts & culture Jey stark & tamara milion avant-garg ‘ina persaud & maya Heischmann maya morgan stall olliecadete alyssa yon isabella persand ‘ple ches, staffemritus ‘matya morgan contributors fooper barron calypso cosmic ‘madison johnstone Tesla itch cassandra nyimbil "ay kale About us ‘The Gargoyles University College's greases student newspaper and publishes evry two weeks ‘Weare a paper that believes that sometimes youshould be angry, and that sometimes you should Deloud, and ifyou have not had a voice before, you deserve a voice, Wedonot give print space to ‘bigots and we do ot feign neutrality on issues of social justice. At tis moment everthing nur ‘oie & bulking community networks separate from the state. Production bi-weekly on discord (in our server fr instant clot). oatgargoyleca se Ay Pe ae 4Decolonizing the * School System r a conversation with 17-year-old activist Cassandra Nyimbili aylatitechbo y i awd. Sis aa ser-tretred wt inervon wl pion pee = vss Casandra Nps Bk gh schoal se fies sand eae esto Gp vespisckcigorvthintbe Canadian col ston” seen ering fem Ugnc te erty 990° ‘hee he met her the tn rmigrant or Gana Ty nevi Toronto and erent vente GTA with Casandra fiber brother, Cassandra jad the Sol Jee Lee a § {Shel chester sete the ncalon of aac vet and ail aarenoss She lo organizes the Black History [Mont edation, snnosncement sd preenations every yar ‘within er schoo slong wth he Hespanie, Indigenous ne Pcie stands History Months and other ties sch as ‘Orange shir bay, Cassandra ta contnbting member ta hoot Mental Health Onto and Ispassonate stout speaking oat out racial ines within the choo corm Inwhat way Canad is the colonial mindset still present in school system? ‘The clonal mindsets stil beng representod in school in ‘many ways The main aspect it stk out tomes how shoals teach history although its important wo know all aspects of {Canada's history teams that the events ith ite pple as the enterpiee are the majority of what taht to stents Schools al to beable to incorporate equally Abians, Asan, Tndigencus poops and ether eltres into thir istry lessons Canada in ental mosle and having dterent groups of people represented isimportant allows students toget an Incisive view ofourhistory instead of clonal one, Italo allows for tadents to fel that they can go ot and make history forthe fotre while undentanding hee past Other displays af csloniaism include posters round the school of ony white {divas predominantly white eachery,clurlly neste teaching practi, and clasroom material ex. erate, prominent figures insects) story being views through a ohite esti a problem the Canadian curriuhan. The World History las taught in (grade 1 around Ontario begins in Furape ding the encisconc,wohertthen moves through the Age of Exploration: Age of Enlightenment et. The eurreum ony ‘ly Jactors Ae int is teachings ding the Boer War are {he aver dring te Serambe or Arca bath of wih were ‘colonial events, Not only ds i focs on and up the white perspective; it also heavy onpies that African history begins {uth colonization This ethnocentrism encourages a demiesl of ‘ther ountres and clare wt amar wl How does this mindset affect Black students within Canadian schools? a7 7 “The colonial mindset within schools has an immense fest on lack dents Thi can ml nad tdent fel omelets Eaten in clas they fo ndemepesented ad fetcided tls pes the afr teachers ad almnistestors {olabel student certain way based onthe colour of thelr kin fn the stereotypes tht cone slong wit hat. Labels an Include harmful descriptor suchas zy; oud, rebels, ude 4 te. Allof these ca lead t higher ates of detentions, Ee snl expalsions. S the stars surrounding Black students in Canadian schools == have atvays ben abysiet. In Toronto, betveen 2011 and 202 Sere fram 20150 2010, almost hf ofthe stadents expo “from the Toronto Distr School Board were Back ant only £0 percent of those expel were weit students. Silay, daring ‘he 2008-2007 school year, Black student in Toronto tere ‘hree tines more likely tobe suspended than white student ‘nein seven Black sents had been suspended at easton, feompared to one in aventy white sutents-n Durham, Oar, {annotation bythe prone! Huma Rights Commision clonal government of canada nd a such By Seema syatemic genocide of indigenous people Si Decagegnenetonlvaices {nflted on lack pd indigenous people in the form of bourgeois ber eaptali, the ve argste commits hadi ‘SF Meet thse ttn acount, SM), Create andi to what extent does privilege effect or play vrei that and in the drag sene in general? as far as it goes, with privilege, having ‘money isa privilege, having the money to Dullshit your way through any situation is a privilege, being able to pay your way out of needing to look busted for a while before ‘you look great, is a privilege. and that’s ‘something that is obviously prevalent in the last lttle while with drag race. just look at krystal versace (winner of rupaul's drag, race uk season 3) who has the money to literally change her face and buy human hair to magic wand fix what she looks like, ‘creating the illusion that she's been at this for some time whereas, in reality, she's quite new. in the age ofthe liberalization of drag through media (otherwise known as the ‘drag race) this is the norm because the format of a competition show equalizes all ofthe queens om a given season in the interest of fairness’ while completely ‘ignoring their lived experience unless itis ‘something that can be commodified or ‘consumed by the audience. it seeks to make rich drag and poor drag all equal without addressing the inequality at the heart of ‘why different peoples’ drag looks drag is portrayed as such a sparkly little thing to enjoy that people often forget that the performers deal with actual inequity. ‘you never want to know that the ‘entertainer at the party isnt having fun. is itpossible to make a suitable living as a local drag artist and/or live purely off of ‘one’s art? there are toronto drag queens where this is ‘their only job. these are people who do not have sie jobs, they are carer performers, the secret to making a living in drag is frst ‘ofall to book multiple gigs ina day, its basically the only way to break even with ‘what you're spending. you have to take ubers everywhere carrying all your stuff ‘because god knows taking the subway isa't ‘going to cut it and you need to make that money up somehow. you also have to constantly be networking. every single ‘opportunity that comes your way is ‘because someone said your name in the right room. Instead of the pink patten leather pumps, so they work with multiple outfits. that's also why career drag performers may look a litte basic. many of us can't afford a ook like, what we're giving, and what we're saying, and we're getting hired because ike what we look like or what we t0 offer like our comedic or hosting abilities. it's very “why should i hire you in what is the most dfcul part of trying to make aliving as a drag artist and performer? it's the constant struggle of being poor. just ‘my foundation alone, which makes up just ‘ne step of my makeup process is $100 and {don't even have eyes on yet. ‘where and how do you see drag artists and performers making money these days? how has the landecape changed since you've been working? it's alot about crowd sourced and crowd funded shows. during the pandemic it was and continues to bea lot of pay what you ‘ean 200m shows and alot of entertainers and artists have made their way onto tforms like twitch or patreon. it's very, ey 'm doing ths thing its pay as you can” and you bully afew people to come... which is really the same thing as any crowd souree thing even if it's not online. if ‘everyone gives a dollar than no one has to sive more the risks to the popularization of this model, as with any artistic job, is that you either work your ass off and make it ‘work or you work your ass off and it doesnt work. you either spend every ‘waking hour devoting yourself helplessly to your craft or you recognize that your craft isnot going to be your main focus forever. Doth are valid. what do you wish white gays or otherwise privileged queer people knew about ‘and how they take up space in society? {dike them to know how much space they take up in society, not specifically so that they stop taking up that much space, but just so that they're aware that we know, we ‘see them, and we no longer care. white gays ‘need to know that privilege isnt a personality do you feel as though you are treated efferent n dog circles? why or why not ifit’s not easily recognizable to you, iam autistic. anytime at which there's an odd ‘moment that i don’t know what's going on socially at a gig il just be like... sorry, that's the autism, sometimes people will be like haha and sometimes they'l be lke, oh ‘wait you're autistic to0?? which is nice ‘when you're in a space that doesn't necessarily cater toa very inclusive audience. when you don’t know the social ‘cues ina given situation, it can be tricky to ‘igure out that balance of being shady and reading and talking about yourself and ‘when you need to keep to yourself {iwas asked in an interview with a group at ryerson about what happens when you ‘need sound or lighting accommodations at sigs and j responded that i usually imprint ‘my own accommodations into my drag. i bring earplugs and/or make sure my lashes are long enough that ican use them shade from the lights the interviewers asked if wanted them to dim the lights ‘and i was like oh no its okay because i'm so, ‘used to just dealing with it myself because i {don’t want to be an inconvenience. but then the moderator asked ifthe audience ‘would prefer it if the lights were dimmed and many of them said they would prefer it. after that, ijust noticed that there was a ‘calmer and immediately less aggressive atmosphere forthe remainder ofthe gig. i ‘was thinking about how that's reflective of the way people just don’t want to be ‘othered or the odd one out in a public situation, people don't want to be an inconvenience even when they may be ‘hurting in ways that other people just ‘wouldn't be ableto see. hhave you ever spoken toa drag queen about hhow their feet are doing after a number? the answer is not well... we don't want to ‘complain about our feet or else it would ‘tum down the mood. youre fll of fun combinations of words! iam, 'mafun girl could you elaborate more on the role of the »rmer in the entertainment industry ‘and how that manifests itself in the drag {in any form of erative space, you're usualy taught asa aby performer, that Bethe ceumoel ienton bat oar not fe ‘most important in the room. you're taught {otake up space, but not to much. fs 8 really narrow energy and balancing at. tveryone should beable toate and/or hear hhave you been told that a lot? not by bar patrons but yes, choreographers and producers tend to teach that the performance is more important than your wn wants and needs. fora given performance there may be atip poo, and if {you have a problem with that, for whatever Feason, the producers may make that Irnown tothe rest of the performers they prefer itto bea streamlined proces rather than one that would be completely reflective ofthe tips given. they ask you to rmeltdoven the pieces of your trophy to give everyone a participation award. you don't ‘want to bean inconvenience, bit you also want to advocate for what you need, soit’ ‘fine balance between making sure you're needs are accounted for and recognizing, that this company likes you and you want tobe asked to come back. what do you wish people knew about drag artists and performers that may be distorted in the age ofthe sensationalization and liberalization of ‘drag culture in the media; or in other words, in the age of drag race? there are a lot of different layers to drag ‘hich you just don't get from the media, at Jeast in my life, i have the self that i know i 1am out of drag and then the drag character ‘whichis the layer that is performance. but then you're almost p performance because as a er today ‘you have tobe able to market and sell both the performer and the performance. for example, as much areal am tying to ‘ive all of my being ina given performance, ‘'m also making an effort to brand’ myself ‘hich sort of ereates a layer on top of just simply me and my art. branding is the practice of talking about the things you scunhne pope ad ete ‘and made tobe a tral par of drag by thelikes of violet ‘chachki and miss fame (of rupaul's drag, prove of cing ing ws reading og FaSibecome reduced to mere sound bites ‘which is how you get something ike “’m the trade of season” being a completely recognizable and universally utilized queer ‘cultural phrase. drag culture today is ‘making yourself a collectable action figure; ‘you need to have two to three catch phrases that are easily repeatable and also ‘completely relatable so as not tobe too ‘unique or niche that you wouldn't be able tomake a profit off of it. Shee a blaring that crs etn the {otal package being presented non- ironically as acommodifiable thing asi thats something that you are actually able to easily articulate in 2 simple sentences for the purpose of an interview. they trim a 10- hour filming day to 8 minutes of edited down footage that i ity and sve bt that it loses its relatability so that can be easly used for anything they ‘want to use ifr. “but don’ forget to show who you are they say asi that's at all they expect you to “bleed for the ‘sage’, but withthe utmost confidence and ‘race. and don’ forget your catch phrase while you're att. sigh...don’t you hate it here? ‘literally am part of the group of people that is making the culture that we live in, and i'm also just so confused by it. i's ‘changing so much and its stupid. i think the biggest way in which queer culture is ‘changing isin the last five year-ish is how ‘we've been starting to think more and more about what everything we're doing ‘amounts to and what it ll means and now ‘we're actually starting to back pedal and. reward people for no longer 5 drag thas been a marvelous, wonderful thing for 0 long and would continue to be without the way it's presented in the media today. ‘the only thing hurting drag is making it the art form that we now call drag is just ‘the lived experience of many people. you can't openly sell taking over someone else's eee eee temcee and you especially can't do that and tendered ee errr drag can be, it can also be this and it can also be this, so that it can turn drag into yet avert ss then epic watering ta lo hen rsa Benen er morse oe See le Ea onccnt al po adhe bases saveine Diets eet oho oor a ‘what do you think is missing from discourse surrounding drag artists or pecprmers ond dog cdaretn generel ‘that may be obfuscated by nomi renting aay aaee alter society? {tmisses everthing that goes down behind the scenes. you mis the numberof hands that goon every projec you rarely get to Jenow, unless you look frit who works on wi you often mis thingie how many hours went into just one aspect ofan entire Kok woeels taking sboet bow many hour it takes to make asingle garment, sate wy awash anny wen in interview it took them to gt into drag tod marvel the numbers, whether tbe hours or 7, because nether the queen nor the Interviewer soem to mention that they courted it all up, the dreas took 40 hours to ‘make, that wig took 5 more, and a small army of people helped make It happen. ‘nominal drag culture, like the fashion orld, presents the it” model something So unattainable and perfect and ease tao anataaabe you ca ep anywhere else. and we know that that perfect creature doesnt exist, but the {dea of the unicorn drag queen that can do itallat 12 years old and is aleo a well- rounded individual with traumas and lived ‘experience becomes something to be packaged up and sod, with drag eatare getting dragged along with it. _ three paragraphs about how they didn't like going off ofthat, do you think drag culture is becoming more inclusive or more exclusive and why? the inclusion of maddy morphosis on drag, race only falls flat to me because it means that countless trans and poc artists won't be able to showcase themselves and their stories and that of their own cultures. at this point we have lost the point of inclusion. it’s important to recognize the difference in how people got to where they are. there are some people wio get to where they are with 2 ot more help, which snot less vali, but only if it's recognized because by doing so, re also recogniring that other people went had any help and giving crit to the people and privilege that helped you get to where you ae that much quicker. you have the ability to take out a loan for a television show and with basically no. notice a bank will and you 10 thousand taken with a lot of reverence for those who can't do that. any insights you would want to share ‘about drag culture from call me mother? tnapaly on deg beens aca ‘monopoly on. ‘ame isonit, noone gives a damn. ive heard, “omg i really loved you on your season” but it's not nearly sai as often or in the same ‘manner as the ru girls i've worked with who get the same thing. people fee! like they have tobe socially now but very few people have figured out what that means. £0, include trans people in things, bu they don't have anyone that underotands trans issues on set. the liberalization of dragis very much “all drag is valid” but we aren't soing to putin any infrastructure to make Sure all drag is actually represented. also, there is no thinking about the safety measures that ought tobe putin place on the production side of things for ‘members of the cast that are nominally ‘marginalized in the queer community. for example, if your drag show has a roast, no inks about the fact that if ou put someone who is marginalized ina ‘negative light in that performance, they're simply more likely o get negative attention ‘and feedback. even in the world of twitter where things are reduced down to sound bites, people stil fee! the need to write fone time when we were hanging out, we were saying that drag queens are the court jestersof li ey. why do | you think that is? there's diference between he dag Enalogy ofthe cour jester you can see how ‘we tend to think about drag asa form of ‘entertainment rather than thinking about the actual person themselves. we're not ‘the entertainer, we're thinking about the entertainment. 've been ‘wanting to write basically a fucking thesis ‘on the commedia dellarte of rupat's drag race aterm to describe the usual archetypes of any given performance, ‘originating in 16% century italian plays). anything written in this style can be docked within a given performance and the ‘comparisons are numerous. watch a couple ‘ofplays and you'l start to realize that these archetypes continue tobe reeyeled and reused as a means of not having to force the audience to work or think about the characters on scren. i's means of ‘entertainment that caters directly toan eas) and satisfying audience experience. its the convenience store of entertainment... a quick easy in and out fat you soot hereto thik about too Zt uwha canbe doe by those wth power and to support drag artists rivilege to support drag there needs to be far more involvement in the arts from anyone who can supply ‘money. ilove when people want to put us ‘on a poster or get apsa on a billboard but ‘that doesn't help anyone. hand us money, ‘we need to pay our bills. having corporate sigs are cute but dangerous when it comes ‘to queer arts. but atthe end of the day it ‘makes our bills payable. there's always oing tobe a sense of every artist ‘clamoring for funding at the same time. we all want everyone to look at us and love us, Dut that’s just not a sustainable model for any of us and i certainly can't survive on that alone. ‘0, in trying to actually pay your bills you lose the actual artistic fulfilment that got you into it in the first place? there's no way to appeal toa wide audience single person. you have o relate to people Ieyot and people who cn fd you, so moet to have to hem and dre ie them and ‘understand their opinions so that you can set their money and make itto the next gig. {nyone who has had to schmooze ata cockall party knows that you have to kiss a Notch asin order to make through recognizing how drag culture as it stands today or in other words, how it has been. sensationalized inthe liberal recognizing that we are going ina direction ‘where the very essence of what drag comes from i ‘and where the essence of ‘the people from which it came from and from which it continues to come from today remain unheard and unrepresented. why are we including more people tothe ‘conversation while continuing to ignore the people who actually started the ‘conversation. i don't think it should be less Inclusive but that we should maybe pump the breaks and make sure that everyone's ‘on the same page firs. ‘where do you think youll be in a couple pears? and where do you wish you ould ? ‘if i'm asked for my wishes for anything its ete ro hes reno es hen eo cae fret de ‘be a full-time artist aso, eee canopy acteneten job and hopefully gain some more notoriety sarod ons pingune net plans are, i'm fabulously wealthy and i sence fe entre but my les misérables plans are just knowing that everything has already gone, next question. ‘how can we support you? where and how ‘can we find you? “said in sing songy voice” ease support me onal of my socal ‘you can find me Schowstia Pia yoo on Sp wnt those shows, or you can find me on patreon @cosmic couture, it’s only $3 a month! FEE Tact oe aatta a ‘where do you think the future of drag or “drag culture” lies? is there a tension between what “drag” is and what “drag culture” is coming to be on a hegemonic level? stolen from th esence of what it isto be Backor trans we now bavea lot of people ‘wholove drag but don’ know anything ‘bout atiroom culture and we have ‘nothing but balroom to thank that we have rainstream drag culture. every single Bit of itis drety lifted from balroor, we have «queer and trans femmes of color ‘peialy wo thaakaboat ening shout dra, and that’ also the Innere thae least represetd a the sony that drags portrayed un ‘commodified today. so, the thing that black nd tran people bul may go onto do tmazing and marvelous things but those black and trans people themselves will not beable to partake or enjoy init. | HAVE UPDATED MY P@TREON FORALL TIERS! STARTING AT ONLY $3 ® COSMIC COUTURE ARTS & CULTURE There have been many’generations and and irseonstantly What is seats ecg ated Afrofuturism? seal flison' tafe areal which follows the story of an extremely intelligent man a discussion by lucy stark & tamara mi ‘So Tamara and I (Laxey) were messaging on Discord, as good co-editors do, and we were talking about how we don't really know bow to define Afrofutrisn, For myself I thik | ‘overlooked the basis of understanding ‘what Afrofuturism is before I ventured into ‘writing an article within that theme. [as already feling incredibly unerxmty as 2 ‘white gil writing for an issue where we really wanted to prioritize Black stents ‘oiees, but eapectlly asa white gil who is incredibly unedueated on the entire concept ‘of Afpofuturiom, SO like any person at a otto googling, Here's cele tosources at the end of this article Although onl formally defined in 1993 through ‘Mark Dery'sessay, “lack to the Future Arofuturism is concept that's existed ever si Affieans were kidnapped and forced through the Middle Passage tothe Americas to be sold into slavery. As defined by Dery, Afrofuturism i spectlative fiction tha treats Aftian-America themesand addresses African-American concerns in the context of twentieth-century technoculture — tand, more generally, Affican American signifleation that appropriates images of technology and a prostheticaly enhanced fature, While this provides a definition more narrows tailored to the realm of iterature,Alrofutursm i a ‘say of thinking that can permeate al forms of ar fm, ts, musie, dence, fashion, architecture, ete Wsabout preserving Black history but also acknovsledging that Black people are agents of Pest, present and future. As stated by ing LaFleur art curator/Afrofutuis, i's bout “Imagining possible futures through 2 Black cultural lens and as a way to encourage, experiment, and reimagine identities and sctive iberation disillusioned with the racist country he had For more recent examples, you ean watch Alrofaturst themes come to life on sercen Uhrexgh ims and series lke Black Panther Watchmen, ronheart, and Fast Color Women have become leaders in the world of Afrofaturism and we see singers like Beyone, Rihanna, Nicki Mina, Janet lackson, Janelle Monae, Missy Eliot, and Erykah Bada incorporating futurist elements into thet performances and music videos. Pls lok Around the page to see some visuals iFyoutre still confused My (Lacs) refletion after onlyseratehing at the surface of Afrofuturistn fs that it's genre and artistic movement that should be OBVIOUS. As white people, we asstme that ‘people who look likes wil exist in the future nnd ill oceupy important roles in whatever that world i like, hut Black people and other ‘marginalized communities bave bad to interrupt thal vision and say, no, we exist too ‘We (our white ancestors and present day white scholar) have committed (and continve {ocommit) the erie of removing or reeiting Black histories, oppressing Black voices i the present, and assuming an indefinite fature of white privilege. Aftofuturisin counters those assertions by stating that a world witho ‘white supremacy is possible and gives us music, at, and writing to envision it. 1 shouldn't have tobe an interruption ot ‘departure from reality, bu the truth is we are Tange stil cdesigning a world where futuristic forms refit mesdem, racist institutions. ‘A few years ago, [ (Tamara), tok science Fiction class. Tt was a realy interesting las, and we spent about an hott of one lecture Jearning about Afrofuturism. I couldn't remember anything from it when thinking bout ths issue, and I was (and am) avery ‘poor notetaker. As a black woman whose familys from Africa, my future has always been filled with people that look like me. don't think t's too much to want to see more Black people in se-f. To paraphrase the author Nova Spars, it needs to be acknovslediged that Black people aren't just victims ofthe past, but agents ofthe present and the future. I should have more to say, Dut honestly i's Black History Month, Tm ‘kind of tired, and Lucy did all the heavy iting for me. Some literature that Ican recommend from that long-ago science fiction cas anything by Octavia Butler, specifically Lilith: Brood ~ [won't spoilt for you, but the premise is insane, and the protagonist {sa Black woman. Others to ook into: NK. Jemisin, INFINITUM: An AfroPuturist Tale, and Matty’ Rocket. Video Essays By Black Youtubers you should watch by lucy stark (with a contribution from tadison johnstone) Khadija Mhowe Relatable for so many reasons besides the fact thet she's a classically trained Opera Singer but including the fact that she’s 2 Canadian (!), Khadija isthe Internet's favorite play auntie who sits sus down and talks ts through the origins and modern day, cultural implications of things like blackface, white women as victims trope, and dog. whistle polities. She's so easy to listen to.and she does deep research as well as infuses her own takes. Her videos have become my fevorite part of lunch time in my apartment ritual. Here's some of. my favorite videos: “Hasty is in the eye of..the Colonizer. “Digital complicated..kind of.” “Race-baiting, que featurism, performative “Thelieve Black women are going to save us al.” Sourees pure yesmagazine org/social justice 2020/04724how-black-womer-are- eshoping-aftfuturism ‘tps wre architecturaldigest com story/what ‘seafrofutarim | naps /robobeyonce wordpress com/20151033 (beyonce-the-queen-af- afofuturan = text~Beyone linus4<20t0"%20pave"20innovative hers20f cllow®420musicias®20end®20performers 40a ana? s2Mechnlogy%62C% om49D420ehevsDDWToKe FD. Signifier ve only recently started watehing his videos, but this guy is incredible. He's so intelligent and points out shit T've never even thought af before. Watching hs videos fels lke a combo of a documentary mixed with memes mixed with calling Leo DiCaprio ont for being dumb dumb, “Death to’Black Love™ “Bo Buraham’s Inside and White Liberal Performative Art” Shanspeare ‘Always dressed to the theme ofthe video (he was the sexiest Sigmund Freud Ive ever seen), Shanspeare achieves the same depths Khadija but in a much different style. say her narratives are more Structured rather than conversation-based. bat there's so much visual appeal and ers that keep you consuming her shit forever and ever (or until your ‘next Zoom class) Her video on "You" allowed! me to not watch the series which is ood because I'm scared of men. “Twilight is Psychological Tiller, Not a Love Story” “Gender Performativity and the ‘Surveillance of Womanhood! “Mommy Issues and the Great Gender Expectation” “The Romantic American ‘Psycho’ Complex Storytelling” Now, a quick ist from Maison: Tea noir ‘Amanda Maryanna “really good, our age (21), and on the ball!” D'Angelo Wallace ‘YharaZayd “deserving of infinite flowers” black rambling Iewakweni, vuyo The black experience ‘The black experience the black experience The black experience The black experience. Tkeep hoping This phrase will pou right The shame of being the child who survived Coming from my mouth, ‘And you're still unhappy. But I can’t believe The shame of being ‘That I'm supposed to accept Unrelentingly beautiful ‘What binds black people And needing to hide it, Across oceans Lest we take the blame Is our pain, For the narcissism Our othering in lands Of the twenty-first century. Where we were born, So, the words Where we were forced. The black experience Because that would mean Do not sit well with me ‘That Iam, first, Because they're ordered Always asking for peace. to make me sigh Iwill never ask for peace. And ponder Peace is in my sibling's smile How we have Peace is in my mother’s arms, Stomached centuries of pain. Peace is in black love given freely. Peace is my birthright, Black child, Not something white people (Who we never stop being) Can decide to manufacture. Tam living to see your smile, Nothing more And second, And nothing less. Tt would mean ‘We are always searching For a way to escape the shame. content warning: homophobia i 1 Cain buried me in a shoebox with a poppy flower crown, ‘like a princess,’ he said. ‘The funeral was premature. I can still move my knuckles, he knapped off my cock and the tips of my fingers, now rotten obsidian claws and stump, ugly like raw impotency—like the trailer park’s open fields— awful self-castrated forest clearings that made way for meaningless, bland, flat open space. My painted nails exist in my head only alongside dreams of bark, fleshy wood that could grow tall and strong and hard—erecting to let me climb out of this dysfunction. He said ‘a faggot could never be a brother of mine,’ and put me in my place on the top shelf, back corner in that dark room, by the women’s high heels and stockings where I kiss my drying bones, holding crown against eunuch wounds as if to fuck away the numbness. I am forced into social castration— unallowed to speak of pride or gender abolitionism like adqueer freak should, the trailer park suburbs of white- trash homophobes found me out, ‘some crossdressing pussy,’ they say. It was only nail polish, an exciting taboo, some artifact meant for another species—but every part of it was poetry—the caustic smell, the acrylic on canvas, the whispers like affirmations. I promised the ghosts of my beautiful faggot fingers that I will plant saplings inside their open bones and sprout new digits, wood that might not be castrated by a jealous society. I’m not defined by this mutilation—man does not need manhood—true man is having integrity in cockless living, false masculine forces nail from nailbed—as if afraid of well-kempt pretty male nails—rage like fertilizer—hands like redwoods now— burying trailer park alcoholics in transcendence— this crown no longer heroin, but a sun kissed canopy of cocksucking branches longing for leaves, and scars on bark disfigure may forever—but the beauty is that the tree grows anyway—and when autumn comes, my leaves will be painted the most beautiful colours.

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