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April 2,1998

Mercyhurst Archaeologists Attend Seattle
By Allison Byrnes Contributing Writer Last week, 23 archaeology students and their professors flew out to Seattle, W A for the 63 rd annual meeting of the Society for American Archaeology. The conference spanned five days, from March 25-29, but most of the students spent the entire week in Seattle, taking advantage of the new experiences that the west had to offer. The contingent of Mercyhurst students was the largest group to represent the institution at the conference, making the Mercyhurst Archaeological Institute impossible to ignore or overlook. Dr. David Hyland said he was pleasantly surprised to see such a large number ol his students attending and volunteering at the meetings. "I arrived on Wednesday night, and when I approached the registration booth, to my amazement, nearly every work station was staffed by a Mercyhurst student. It was really neat to see so many of our students working there. Even just' wandering around, I could hear people making really positive com me n ts about the MAI students. Everyone seemed quite impressed, especially because undergraduates rarely attend these conferences."! The group was top large for everyone to stay in the same place, so they divided up in different places. Some resided with fri ends and fam-: ily of MAI students, some in a hostel, and some in a hotel. "It was really fun to have so many people from Mercyhurst come to Seattle and see what*a great|place it is," says Nicole Brannan, a sophomore archaeology major and native of Seattle. During the days before the meet-

Conference
* I had myfieldschool at I rvine * Flats, and I did a lot of the geologywork for Uhe Minister | Creek rocksheiter, so it was really neat to see some of that; work get presented at such a big conference." The MAI students and facul ty alike also attended numerous other symposia conducted by archaeologists from the Americas and beyond. M v Maybe I'm being biased, but I was more impressed by the presentations that Dr. Adovasio and Cathy Pedler and everyone else from MAI made than I was by anyone else's. They all really knew what they were doing,** said freshman Adam Davis, Jennifer Y ork, a junior, said, "We got to meet a lot of famous people-it was great to meet the pioneers of our field and to see our own professors present at a national conference."

ings began, they toured the city, Irvine Flats site, Warren County, checking out such sites fas the PA. Historical Archaeologist, Judy Space Needle, the Pike 3Place Market, Mount Rainier, and nu- Thomas,jpresented evidence for the aboriginal exploitation of pemerous stores and clubs. On Wednesday, March 25, the troleum in Pennsylvania,- while conference began, and the MAI Hyland presented a paper which j students were soon joined by their provided a chronology for the enprofessors Dr. James Adovasio, try of Mesoamerican perishable Allen Quinn, Judy Thomas, Dr. items and domesticates into the Dave Hyland, Dave and Cathy Jordana Basin of New Mexico. The Pedlers explained the flaked Pedler, and Texas-based Mercyhurst archaeologist Joe Yedlow- stone technology (and the cultural ski. The students presented papers • implications thereof) employed at covering a number of interesting the Elk Creek site, Erie County. topics: Adovasio discussed the Yedlowski discussed potential Meadowcroft Rock shelter's evi- functions of the rockshelter sites dence for the appearance of culti- in the Minister Creek drainage of gens in the Eastern Woodlands re- the Allegheny National Forest, PA. gion as well as a study of the role of Mitzy Schramke, ajunior archaeperishable artifacts at the Pale- ology major/geology minor, was olithic site of Doh Vestonice in the one of the many students who had Czech "Republic. Quinn reviewed the opportunity to see papers prethe results and importance of the se n ted about projects that they had automated survey conducted at the been involved in.
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DATES FOR; HOUSING SIGNOTSjLktitor-iti- Wloch By Chris Announce Officers, Bid Seniors Farwell due
By Nell Norberg Staff Writer On Sunday, March 29, the Mercyhurst" Ambassadors Club held its annual tea . The event focused on the induction of new members, the recognition of graduating seniors and the announcement of next year's officers. The Ambassador's Tea also featured addresses by Matt? Whelan, the club's advisor, Andrew Rot)), Dean of Admissions, and Mercyhurst President Dr. William Garvey. This year the Ambassador's Club welcomed 23 new members to its ranks. The new Ambassadors include Brooke Billingsley, Ruth Burgetl, Laura Chrulski, liana Delaney, Catherine Doman, Andrea Ellison, Lesley Foster, Christopher Fultz, Susan Gonnam, Anna Hefferan, Jennifer Kcllcy, Jennifer Laurenza, Sarah Lelle, Aimcc Le Pelley, Melanie McClaskey, Amy Marie Murty, Aubrey O'Hara, Jocelyn Pittser, Alexandra Turkas, Marcello V aval a,Kathleen War go, Julie Weems and Amy Wipkowskt. In order to become an Ambassador each student had to go through two terms of intensive training that Monday, April 13 Return signed, completed and incomplete 'housti iconlractjs; arid tall Vjsiheet^ packets to the Officeof Residence l i fe Old

Ambassadors Welcome New Members

MSG to Offer Proposal on Baldwin Townhouses

consists of lectures about the history, architecture, and tradition of "Last week, a joint administrative Mercyhurst team announced that only females F Candidates for ambassadorship would be housed in the Baldwin "hear from President Garvey, myTownhouses for the 1998-99 acapritJafti-Poiitt: totatejffij^WlJy Sheets;w» be p^tediOutsiqe;demic year. self, Andrew Roth and Sister ft Tyrone Moore, director of resl Eustace Taylor, who speaks about dence life, said that the decision theSistersofMercy,"saidWhelan. was made after examining the At the end of training, "they have & Baldwin arid Warde Townhouse signup from 7-^; present condition of several malethe most complete understanding occupied townhouses. of the history, tradition, mission piimi-ih Mercy HeritageRoonfciftSufo^ "Entirely too much of our time and purpose of Mercyhurst. * More present for selectonsi,.$ indents not receiving aTownhouse assignment * and money is spent repairing malithan 100 training hours are comcious damage as opposed to uppleted in order to wear the green grading our facilities. Students jacket. need to assume responsibility to This year, 11 seniors were honmaintain the properties they are ored for their years of dedication. afforded*. Our goal is to provide Senior Kathleen Hudack said, "I excellent accomodations for all am really proud of the new ambasT April If -Mercy ApartmentsvDuval, and Bast Briggs sign-up students, regardless of where they sadors. It was a wonderful event, — — —^ — ^"**1van Hall. Grouo leaders live," Moore said. and a fitting end to my time as an According to MSG President ambassador." Each senior was Kevin Scgedi, the executive board given a gift of wineglasses and a A V i ? . »M : I ^i«t: totals trom ta«y S)V«<i*»H fe jx»sted has met with Mr. Moore and bottle of wine. •rasa £Q» is« — :•'•>, >v:v^rr.v.v::. v x-!^:-::rvvTT^:.;.;,:.v.;.:.;:^.:.:. Mercyhurst President Dr. William This was also the occasion when •outside Old Main 213 by.$: p.mj.::f^ P. Garvey to address this'issue. next year's officers were an. V . .N\V.'.'.% MSG plans to present a proposal to ^.^.*<!»!'r nounced, The 1998-99 Ambasfcl^ :<•: Thursday, April 30 North and South Briggs sign-up fromi7-9 p.m. m the administration on Thursday sador's Club officers arc:' Jen 'j^y ffinu^iiEi^ Group leaders must De-prtsentj that would allow males to reside in Ryan, president, Travis Lindahl, the Baldwin Townhouses next vice president, and Beth JEriday, l^ayl. Summer Housing Contracts available in:.Min;gl3. year. The details of the proposal Szulczew ski .secretary .Szulczew are still being finalized and the ski also won the Outstanding AmpHd^y, May ^ Ftnal results of Housing slgnj&up process posted outcome should be available at bassador award. e Old Main 213. 1 Monday night's MSG meeting.
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April 2,1998

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MSG Prepares for Executive Board Elections
By Emilio Colaiacovo MSG Secretary At this week's meeting, MSG treasurer Ryan Kennis announced he has requested a $10,000 allotment check in order to organize further student programming. Vice President Tom Bender announced that the Executive Board election will be Tuesday, April 7 and Wednesday, April 8. Bender stated that he and the weight room committee, assembled the squat racks and additional 5 and 10 pound weights will be available for student use very soon. $ President Kevin Segedi said there would be a phon-a-thon Tuesday and Wednesday nights to help spread the word about the Senior Project Representative Bruce Snead re-

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minded the student body that the A rcheology club has returned from Seattle, and they should be reporting their trip to MSG soon. Senior Representative Jennye Vetter reminded seniors to hand in pictures for the senior dinner dance. ? MSG meets every Monday at 8:30 p.m. in the Student Government Chambers. All are welcome to attend and discuss their concerns with MSG.

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On Wedne^y'April i;# KJestijriian pplfce wff^hStli^ botnb^j:: ffDm:iheIsi^iCimfttot#^ By Jamz Porzio had been dumped beside-a car-Qjat bleW:Vp initne west Bank' Sunday. Staff Writer Prime>«iihisier Benjamin !Netoy^u!-d6ifii^;:toat-i killed Muhyiqeen al-ShanfJ wfto had ia^appeare^wij^titnfeey^i^ago aiutOn^Friday JApril 3 SAC will hold the Blizzard of Bucks Gameshow. This will be held in ieadcrA2izaf*Ranti$si sald.i'M donHdoubt foramioutethauhehandsof the Laker Inn at 8 p.m. f the Zion!sts::we:re::bduna the 3(»«wlBWftS^ On Sat. April 4 Glow Bowling Rahtissi also said that Hanias ne\eTlea^b& its members 'unavenged and will be held at 11 p.m in the Union. that the strucfilei^iJl sfurelyejcal^vJsFaeli police TOa1ready<ih5ecurity
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Easter Egg Hunt Next Week
On Tuesday April 7 the Performing Arts Center wijl be playing Ait; Force One with Harrison Ford at-9 p.m. * At 8 p.m on Tuesday, the SAC meeting will be held in the Government Chambers . Wednesday at 8:30 p.m in the Laker Inn there will be egg decorating and egg hunt. . * Then at Coffee House, Scott Fertig will be drawing caricatures of people at 9 p.m. > J>4J . i.' Tuesday, April 14 is the weekly SAC meeting at 8 p.m in the Govemment Chambers. No coffee house or movie this week. On Friday, April 17 there will be a Trip to Tinsel Town movie theatre. Vans will leave at 6:30 p.m.

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alert during the current Passover! schdM:'ii<Wid2C^-:It4>ia -'iite^iir-: leEatfl.et>! Hamfc saidtt held the Palestinian Authorcityireifponsibl^for ti&Tnartyi&j dom of the hero Sharif since his assassination took placein areas under j ts-: contnMi*:Ham a ^ ^ l u ^ .^. -Jf&itiPalestinian: Presiideiit Yasser: Atafat's itifci r-vr romistrat^c^i inrv'eswgateirWie; kjlUng- andreyei : jx- In the West bahk&iy Sf Bethlehem, ah^iPaJestiriian youth^ took to thestreetsi^h^ wiey ic&Bea:.^ risraeli soldiers: Tne'<^nff on pcMiifteitBt-ftif•
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WalkAmerica is April 26
By Karen English Contributing Writer 1 p.m. Walkers who pre-register and- have collected donations of $10 or more will receive a Team Mercyhurst t-shirt.' -The March of Dimes offers prizes for walkers who raise $60 or more to fund breakthroughs for babies. For every registered walker the March of Dimes receives $2 from their major sponsors. Last year Team Mercyhurst raised more than $500 for the March of Dimes. Funds sponsor research, and provide education for healthier babies. • Circle K will sell Sneaker Feet to benefit the March of Dimes WalkAmerica until April 22! Sneakers can be purchased for $ 1 in Sister Carol Ann Voltz* office, from any member of Circle K. Sneaker Feet will be sold in the Student Union on Tuesday, April 14 from 11 a.m. till 2 p.m. Every Monday die feet sold with the buyer's name on it will be put up on the wall in Egan Dining Room to show your support and circle?]the cafeteria. The goal is $ 1,000 to help fund breakthroughs for babies.

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Senior Social Work Carnival
By James Gorman News Editor I On Saturday March 28, the Senior Social Work club conducted a earn i val for i ts senior project. Members hosted a carnival for disabled children from the Barber Center, the Achievement Center imd the Shriners' Hospital. According to Rebecca Batcharie, the carnival was attended by 47 kids and it was similar to Christmas on Campus where prizes and gifts were distributed.** Also, the Senior Social Work club hired clowns to entertain the children^Finally, the Erie Police Department conducted a presentation involving the K-9 unit. The carnival was made possible by a$ 1,000 grant from Mercyhurst College.

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The March of Dimes is^inviting every member of the Mercyhurst community to help fund breakthroughs for babies and walk for someone they love. •#:?: An off icial autopsy sai<l that Shant died ol gunshot wounds; and that According to the March of Dimes his body wa$mQV^:tot^$rt^W:the::Wa^^ it could be your baby; a baby yet to i determined that Sharif died approximatelythree hours before ihelWast, be bom; a premature infant who ; andra»brother Ibrahim blamed Israeli lntelhgence and vowed revenge. survives because of the research done with March of Dimes fundGay-Straight Alliance Sponsors Discussion ing; a friend's child. Members of the Laker family are asked to bring By Veronica Ledoux* suit of their goal. Contributing Writer While no Pennsylvania state co-workers, family and friends to laws wholly oppose adoptions by join the Mercyh urst Col 1 c ge Team On Wednesday, April 1, a local same-sex couples, the two men at WalkAmerica, Sunday, April couple, Joey Grego and Jeff filed the requisite paperwork 26, 1998. Registration and Festivities beSchwenk, discussed their family | solely under Grego*s name, as with members of Mercyhurst's single adoptive father, to expe- gin at 11 a.m. at Rainbow Gardens. dite matters. Schwenk is cur- The walk begins at 1 p.m., around Gay-Straight Alliance/The couple rently completing the necessary Presque Isle State Park. has adopted two children, seven-' steps to co-adopt the children. Registration forms and informayear-old Clay, and five-year-old^ Grego and Schwenk said their tion are available from Michelc Zoe. The children arc biological children arc learning uncondi- Garvey in Campus Ministry, siblings, sharing the same mother tional respect and equal treat- Carolyn Brumbaugh in the Walker but different biological fathers. ment of others as established in School of Business, or from Karen Each was adopted separately soon their positive home life experiEnglish in Egan 49. after birth. ences. There will be pre-registration in In order to facilitate the adop- | The discussion was a presenta- Campus Ministry on Wednesdays, tions, Grego and Schwenk had to complete painstaking research and tion of how two people are find- April 8,15, and 22 from 11 a.m. to paperwork, originally investiga- ing happiness in this world ting more than 750 adoption agen-' through family while also chalAPPLY FOR SUMMER EMPLOYMENT cics to locate one that would coop- lenging society's perspective of erate with them.They attribute their what is periodically a misundersuccesses to their strong prayer and stood lifestyle. It took place amid PICK UP APPLICATIONS IN MAIN 101. faith, refusal to accept defeat, and photos of the kids, sharing of anDEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS IS APRIL 30,1998 indefatigable energies spent in pur- ecdotes, and much laughter.
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"Things That Matter"
Join us in Campus Ministry at 4:30-5:30 p.m. on the Tuesdays during April and May to share a cup of coffee and discussions ApriLZ, Tom Forsthoefel I April 14T Dr^ David Livingston April 11, Sr. Dorothy Stoner April 28, (Tentative) Dr. Mary Hembrow Snyder 1 May_l* Dr. Kevin Sullivan MajLl2f Sr. Dorothy Stoner

A ^ MERCYHURST COLLEGE. T

April 2,1998

THEMEKCIAD

Arfe&
By Brian Eichsladt Music Critic singles that included tracks like "Dive** (used in a recent Adidas commercial) and "Spybreak," the Characterized by techno, hip- duo attracted major label attention hop, funk, and a rock-and-roll atti- in 1997 because of their European tude, the British electronic duo, hit "On Her Majesty's Secret Serknown as The Propellerheads, re- vice," and their remixes of matecently released theirfirst full-length rial by Luscious Jackson, Soul album titled "DECKSAND Coughing, and 808 State. As a D R U M S A N D R O C K A N D result of their efforts, they gained a ROLL.** Containing everything lucrative contract from from humorous samples to the Dreamwof ks Records after a bidstrings of a London orchestra, the ding war was conducted by Amerinew release has plenty of diversity can label representatives for their and also the raw energy that has services. made the tandem popular among As a first full-length release, disc jockeys. this album showcases the beats Getting their starts as disc jock- and funk that has made "The eys in Bath, England, Alex Gifford Propellerheads a staple on interand Will White began collaborat- national dance floors. The album ing as The Propellerheads in 1994. begins with T a k e California," a After releasing numerous'12-inch stellar track that has found a home

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on many electronics compilations and disc jockey turntables. As the duo's most popular number, it is characterized by numerous samples with a jazz oriented bassline and an accelerated hiphop rhythm. Other tracks, such as thei rpastsing 1 e" Spy break,"" B an g On,** and "Velvet Pants," also continue to provide the record with big beats and breaks that are perfect for a dance party or rave. Other notable selections include the two tracks created in conjunction with hip-hop artists. Combining creative talent with the Jungle Brothers, The Propellerheads created "You Want It Back.** Driven by a frenzied rhythm and lyrics describing the conflicting desires involved in personal relationships, the song is great and allows the listener to benefit from artists who heavy drum beats and electronic expand their musical boundaries. interludes, the song became a hit However, the track "Oh Y eah?" (a last year when it reached #5 at col I aborauon between De La Soul Radio One in Europe. and The Propellerlieads) is not very Drawing from a \ ariety of difappealing. With its slow and lazy ferent influences and bv collabohip-hop rhythm and insipid lyrics, rating with different artists, The the selection is boring and mo- Propellerheads created a diverse notonous because it lacks direc- and entertaining album. Unlike other electronic albums mat lose tion and focus. "History Repeating** incorpo- their appeal after only a few lisrates the vocal .talents of Shirley tens,"DECKSANDDRUMSAND Bassey (known for her vocals on ROCKANDROLL** has enough the theme JOT James Bond's differentiation to keep it interestGoldfi nger) with swing style horns ing for long periods of time. This and a throbbi ng electronic pulse. album is best suited for fans of "On Her Majesty'sSecretService** electronic music (especially for continues The Propellerheads* in- fans of Orbital ox Meat Beat Manifatuation with James Bond as they festo) and for anyone else who remix the original orchestration for likes good hard dance music. the 21st Century. Combining the classical orchestral score with

it

Free Beer" at Bruno's DiCaprio Lives On in Iron Mask
Beer, which is comprised of Behrend students, Gabe Josset, Rob Shaffer, CK Ceiderlingjand Joe Fnsina, has only been together for a short time, but they Ve played at other Beherend events and fraternities. Free Beer also hopes to have a CD out soon. Mercyhursfs Gloss, which is made up of Zack McHugh, Tim Sul, and Burt Mamula, has been together about one year. They have performed at the Pittsburgh Coffeeshot, Mercyhurst's coffee house, and Mercyburst's Fall Festival. Gloss also hopes to play in local bars after their CD is released sometime next summer. By Angela Harris also wrote Braveheart. StaffWriter j ^ I | Leonardo DiCaprio has been in Opening two weeks ago in the- the spotlight, lately', if sc&ftsf anyatres around the country was The thing with his name on it is thought Man in the Iron Mask. Based on a to attract crowds from miles novel by Alexander Dumas, it is around. Unfortunately, the choice the fictitious story of ran iron- to cast DiCaprio in this movie was masked prisoner and the mighty regrettable on the director's part "Three Musketeersl fcvho try to Through DiCaprio,-the directors restore honor and truth in France seemed to care more about selling tickets than the qua! i ty of the moof King Louis XI V.i I The movie Leonardo DiCaprio vie. The role was entirely out of his as King Louis and as his impris- league, because of its intricacy oned counterpart, and Gerard and dual-nature. In the past, Depardieu, John Malkovich, Jer- DiCaprio has swept audiences emy Irons, and Gabriel Bryne as away with his portrayal of a menthe former musketeers. The direc- tally-challenged boy, a forlorn tor of this film , Randall Wallace, teenager, a love struck romeo and
— 1 J

By Carrie Tappe A &F Editor Bruno's, at Penn State Behrend, will host its first ever coffee house on Tuesday, April 7, from 8-10:30 p.m. The night will be highlighted with discounted coffee* and cappuccino prices. Bruno's will also sell slushies and give all those in attendance free popcorn. Local restaurants and businesses have donated prizes to be given away throughout the night Behrend's new found ,Fr*e Beer, and Mercyhursfs original. Gloss*vn\\ provide the musical entertainment for the night. Free

a sweet, early 20th century pauper. But, as an evil, cold-hearted king,
DiCaprio doesn t measiire lip-

As for the movie as a whole, The Man in the Iron Mask was suspenseful, "romantic," and beautiful. The sets and costumes were lavishly authentic and added a wonderful realism to the story. The 'Three Musketeers" were both funny and noble and created much of t hed rama ti caction for the movie. Even though it received twothum bs down from Siske 1 & Ebert, The Man in the Iron Mask was captivating and exciting. It was a good movie as a whole and 1 would recommend that you see it.

S c o t t Koskoski
SG T
$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $

ASURER
$ $ $ $ $

Lfot mu mind on ins Hfione ^Arnd the moneu on mu
$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $

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Please Vote April 7-8

K O

K O

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On Sunday! April 5, the 1 MaryiiD Angelo Performing ArtsiCenter is sponsoring the third ajiinaal " I nternational Pops on the Hill" concert at 2:30 p.m. Frank Collura will direct the orchestra which inwild s D' Angelo School of Musici faculty! andjj dents* Numbers will include: Irish tunes jand selections from " Pha n torn of M the||Opera and other Broadway musical hits* JTlie concert is free I to [President's Card holders andi students jlritb ID.

ITS A SHORE THING!

VOTE:

COURTNEY SHORES
MSfi TREASURER

PAGE 4

THE MERCIAD

April 2,1998

Student

mm

Candidates for the 1 9 9 8 - 9 9 M S G Executive Board VICE PRESIDENT P R E S I D E N T

y

Ryan Kennis

I

Jodie Polk

Mike Gratzmiller
I've been a member of Student Government for two years. I feel that I will represent the student body extremely well. With my close ties to many Mercyhurst students I feel the campus will benefit if I am in office. j Remember, if elected I will "Fight for your Right to.. v " Enjoy the Hurst! Thank You.

Colleen Nardi
I am very qualified for the position of MSG Vice President for many reasons. I am a student representative this year and I was also a rep last year. I want to make resources better available and more convenient for, the. students. My mission jg to serve your needs and make you happy. I 'm a hard worker and very dedicated. I wish to do what is best for the student body and to protect the academic, social, and financial interests of my constituents. So please remember to count on me for MSG VP.

I feel that I am the best candidate for MSG President for many reasons. As your Treasurer for the past year, I acquired the ski 1 Is and experience necessary for a president to possess in order to function with maximum efficiency? I handled your ~ moriev.'"hucPa Successful aiidit', and served-' id 1 as the c'h'aifrhah'of the bud'ge't and finance committee. In addition I was able to meet with President Garvey, along with the rest of the executive board and get results. Along with this year's experience, I carry the experience of being a freshman and sophomore representative. I have taken pride in performing the work that you have elected me to do in the past, and I hope to continue doing so as your President.

My name is Jodie Polk and I am running for MSG President. Along with two years of experience in MSG, I am currently a junior biology/secondary education major. I am very active here at Mercyhurst. Being the student chairperson of Habitat fcir-Humanity, with, two years ofinvolver rrient is one of my active attributes in regards to student life. Don't sell yourself short! Put me i n office. I'm willing. I'm deserving. I'm the right person for the job. 1 Vote Polk for President. Besides, "Polks Make Great Presidents!"

TREASURER

SECRETARY

Courtney Shores
Jenny Novak
Just call me Jenny. I want to be your Secretary forStudentGo\ emment. WHITE OUT = I ma) not be the perfect spelling Secretary but I sure can try. I havewhite out and I'm not afraid to use it. Support WHITE OUT, Support Jenny Novak.

Scott fKoskoski
1 believe I'm the better candidate for MSG Treasurer, and I ask for your vote. I have several leadership}positions on campus including two years as a MSG representative. If you support me in this election I promise to do the best I can and also help all of MSG represent us better. You pay the money to be here, why^shouldn't you have an active student government working for you?

Lou D'Ambrosio
To my fellow students, I'm presently running for the position of Secretary^for Mercyhurst Student Government. A few things you should know about me: I'm a Taurus. I love dogs, old people, and children. I can make things happen. Choose wlselv on election day.

Here I am, a Biology major and Psychology minor. I have been an MSG representative for two years, as well as served on the Senate. During the summers I am the manager of the cashier department of an amusement park in New York. There I supervise all the transactions made in the park. It elected, I plan to execute the most effective way to distribute the MSG finances, such that it will benefit you, the student.

Special Bonus: April FooVs Day Insert

IVOL 1. NO. 1

MERCYHURST COLLEGE. GLENWOOD HILLS, ERIE, PA. 16546

APRIL 2,1998

By Francois Mitterand Staff Writer f|

Moore Starts N e w Clothing Line, Discovers Hair Growth

Formula
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In a press conference held last Tuesday, Mercyhurst's Director of Housing, Tyrone Moore, announced the advent of his new line of retro clothing known as Tyrone's Threads, Inc and his discovery of a new formula for miraculous hair growth. :*t According to fashion critics in Paris, London and New York, Moore has obviously done his market research as t he polyester suits and satin shirts, which he has depen ded on for so long, are in high demand the world over. Surveys taken near a Tyrone's Threads table located outside of a high end New York discotheque indicate that the movie Boogie Nights has influenced the recent shift of public fashion. Local lounge lizard, Big Brother Ray Ray, was more than impressed with the quality of Tyrone's Threads. "He be diggin' on the right groove wit' his stuff. I know quality

when I see it, and this stuff is fly!" Ray Ray said. Local merchants an xiously awai t the first shipment of leasure wear. When asked about Mr. Moore's new clothing line, a Mercyhurst alum, who manages a fashion storeat the M i llcreek Mall said, "I have the utmost faith in Tyrone's Threads. He was wearing the same stuff twenty years ago. Now that's qual -

ity!!"

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Later on Tuesday afternoon, Moore announced his discovery of a chemical compound which produces up to six inches of new hair in less than 37 seconds. Moore even demonstrated the tonic's effects on himself by applying a couple of drops to his own head/ Sporting his freshly-grown hair for the press, Moore proceeded to sign over his rights to the formula to the South Korean government for an undisclosed amount of cash. (Moore had no comment as to what his newly acquired wealth, youthful appearance and successful business ventures would mean for the future.

Health Center Continues to Save Lives Merciad Hosts Spring Contest
By Carrie Tappe Health Commentator
S.

Junior Underwater Basketweaving major, Kissa Q. Miass, came neartobitingthe bulletlast Wednesday after a drive- by in Garvey Park. After being rushed to the Cohen Student Health Services located in Preston Hall, Miass was saved by emergency surgery using tweezers and a strong dose of Halls Cough Syrup. A works tudy who wishes to remain nameless, pronounced Miass dead at the scene, but after careful examination and protest from Miass, her condition was upgraded to stable. In other news, a recent study

conducted by the Cohen Student Health Services, the combined power of "Sucrets" and the center's famous, "Phenylpropane," if taken every 10-12 hours, have been proven to cure the long term effects of sleep deprivation. These effects include drowsiness during lectures, headbobbing in class, desk drool, pretest moodiness and midterm anxiety. "Sucrets," taken alone, is also being tested in the fight against Spring Fever, an epidemic evident all over* Mercyhurst's campus. "Phenylpropane" (the little blue pills), have been known to fight every symptom ever presented to the Health Services staff. Together,

the two drugs can produce great results. An anonymous nurse at the Cohen Health Services, commented, "We've been experimenti ng a lot lately with different drugs. Duetto the wide range*of symptoms presented in our offices, we thought it could be beneficial to start mixing random drugs. We also found that the benefits of 'Sucrets" with 'Phenyl-propane' are not inhibited by the use of alcohol." • At press time, college President Dr. William Garvey, had no comment on the effects that these lifesaving substances could have for the college community. '

By Randy Hilliard Campus Life Editor

The Merciad editorial staff has announced that they are sponsoring a spring contest. The first person'to answer the following question correctly will win $200. Answers should be sent to "Spring Contest c/o The Merciad* through inter-campus mail This contest is open to any member of the Mercyhust community, including faculty, administration and students. The winner will be announced in next weeks issue. Question: From what historic speech is the following text taken?

.thrae eht morf hsirep ton llahs elpoepehtrof,elpoepehtyb,elpoep eht:$ fo tnemnrevog taht dna, modeerf fo htrib wen a evah llahs doG rednu noitan siht taht, niav ni deid evah ton Hash daedeseht taht evloserjiylhgih ereh ew taht .— noi loved fo erusaem fluf tsal eht evag yeh t h c i h w rof asuac taht ot noitovod desaercni ekat ew daed deronohesehtmorftaht— su erofeb : gniniamer sksat taerg* eht? ot detacided ereh eb ot su rof rehtar si iT. decnavda ylbon os raf suht evah ereh thguof ohw yeht hcihw krow dehsinifnu eht ot ereh detacided eb ot rehtar gnivil ehtsu rof si tl I Good Luck!

Security Apprehends Burglary Suspect on Library's Fourth Floor
By Melish Winetrob Investigative Reporter 2Working in conjunction with the local police department, Mercyhurst Security managed, over the weekend, to apprehend a suspect believed to be connected with a series of robberies occurring within the past few weeks. Following a large number of complaints from female students living in the Warde Townhouses regarding the theft ot doorknobs, Chiclets and used cat litter from their rooms. Security responded with increased patrols and observations of student housing on Briggs Ave. Late last week after receiving a call from a student on upper Briggs reporting suspicious activity, Security alerted the cops and proceeded to the scene. The male suspect, who had just fled, was eventually identified by both forces aftcr being spotted in a stolen dress and high heels cavorting through Garvey Park. The suspect was chased through the Grotto, where the officers were unexpectedly led off the trail by a box of donuts. The suspect was later apprehended on the fourth floor of the Hammermi 1 Library al ter several 1 students in the Catherine Walker Reading Room complained about the sounds of rattling chains and groaning coming from the walls. He was later released to the Hamot Behavioral Health Center for men; tal evaluation.<

The Hammermlll Library's fourth floor, where security recently apprehended a burglary suspect

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he DIACREM

April 2,1998

1998 Fresher Survey Results
By Richard Costelloe Staff Wriier \ Late last month even fresher student received a copy of the 1998 Fresher Survey, containing 60 questions concerning all aspects oflthcjilrst few months of their college experience. The Fresher Survev allows the college to find out what this vear's incoming class has been up to for the past oight months. Included in the survey were ques1 tions concerning the students personal, social and academic<attitudes and achievements throughout the Mercy hurst experience. As always,fthc Fresher Survey has provided some interesting results. For exam pie, the majority of those who completed and returned the survey answered "unsure" as to how Mercy hurst has helped them to "think more logically and critically." A large majority of freshers also reported having frequently" worked in a local, state or national chapter of a subversive political party, while most reported "not at alP* to drinking beer, experimenting with drugs, contemplating their navel or having attempted to develop a meaningful philosophy of life * | Also of note, more than 60% of this 'year's class responded "strongly agree" to the concept of a | hypothetical concrete .planet, 51% favored the abolishment of e the w ealthy, ?39% opposed the f continued use of bar codes and 63% reported that they "strongly disagree" with nothing in particular. Only 12% favored the establishment of the death penalty on campus. There was a disappointing return for the Fresher Survey this year by the seniors, only 12 completed forms were received. Although this is a 47% rise from last year's returns, 3 of the forms had to be discarded for illegibility and another two for lewd or inappropriate responses.

Spam sues Muppets
By Amanda Huginkis Staff Writer ^, ,| Hormcl Foods, producer of the famous processed meat, Spam, have attempted to sue Oz Productions, creators of the Muppet movies and series. Seemingly Hormel caught wind of a character named "Spa*am" who was to appear in the next Muppet movie. "Spa*am" is an evil pig who idolizes Miss Piggy to a somewhat disturbi lgdegree. In a press release, themovie 's producers said that the villainous character was not in any way intended to debase Hormel's processed meat product. However, executives at Hormel claim that creating the association between their product and an obsessive, evil pig will seriously hurt sales. The case will be presented in a New York court later this month. . No one from the campus organization SPAM*(Student. Philosophers at Mercyhurst) was available for comment on the issue.

Students, Faculty Agree ~ Foucault Must Go!!
By Dmitry Aurelios Idiot Savant Following a disturbing rise of reported mentions and references towards concepts associated with the work of Michel Foucault in various Mercyhurst classes, a group of students and faculty in several of the science and humanity departments have joined together to take action. A group of 11 faculty arid students have collectively requested the administration for permission to lift all books written by, for or about Foucault from the campus library, reporting academically subversive and nonsc ienti fic discussions within their classroom environments influenced by the famous French thinker. The presence of Foucault's theories within the classroom has allegedly caused severe problems for the faculty. The professors involved have reported frequent tangential and irrelevant discussions based upon the ethics of power and knowledge in the classroom with the student body. Although the majority of complaints came from professors in several of the sciences, there have been complaints filed from almost every department During a recent basic dance class an essay written for a professor questioning the methodological individualism behind one cerr? tain dance interpretation reportedly caused a small, graceful riot One junior English major wished to remain anonymous for fear of ostracism or other forms of retribution for challenging the Foucalt orthodoxy. "I don't care if he did have the second largest collection of S&M pornography in the world, Foucalt still sucks as a critical theorist,"the student said.

VOTE
Chris Wloch for? KING OF 1 THE j WORLD
Democracy fosters mediocrity. What this campus really needs is a new, friendlier fascism which only oppresses willfully stupid people."
Campaign Speech, March 13,1998
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April 2,1998

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By Marcia Farrell and Jody Washington Merciad Writers

Caffeinated Parasols Madame Stolichnaya s Horoscopes
SAGITTARIUS Poor, unfortunate Sag. I see no hope for you when the police do that urine test. You Jose the sports scholarshi pand end up II ippi ng burgers at a stripclub, married toa woman named Butch. The bright side could be death, but alas, a strange nuclear CAPRICORN The mate of your dreams is much accident will turn you into a horribly twisted, but closer than you think. Since you come from Union City, mortal freak. you know what I mean. LEO Strong and secure are the normal leadership AQUARIUS You think the boat trip is a good qualities of a Leo. Unfortunately you don't happen to idea. You think life preservers are dumb because you fit that mold. By the way, sheep aren't quite your fit are a good swimmer. Yet the monster of the lake is an ei t her. even better swimmer and has really sharp teeth. So when your buddies jokingly throw you overboard, SCORPIO Nobody likes you anymore. Everybody don't say I didn't warn you. hates you. It has nothing to do with your looks or attitude, Get over it—at least you'll make' a good GEMINI* HA, HA! You are the big cosmic Republican. joke. Everything ever created was done so for the sole purpose of making fun of you. Don't feel too badly—at VIRGO You're just never going to score. least the rest of us will always be guaranteed a good You might as well take the vows and then just blame ; laugh at your expense. your luck on voluntary chastity.
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As we approach the final 50 days of our undergraduate studies, we are faced with a plethora of new thoughts and emotions. We listen to the heart-Wrenching cries of our classmates and think, 'This can't be!" Our eyes tear at the thought of parting forever and we are meagerl y supported by the fading memories in our yellowing photo albums. Soon "Mercyhursf will exist only in our old notebooks, exaggerated stories and familiar songs: (sniffle, sniffle, weep, sob, weep, weep). But, who the hell cares? A Who needs the headaches of teachers piling on heaps of outside reading to make up for wasted class time on tangential discussions? Who needs to complete their senior project? Who needs the mandatory dorm and department meetings at 9:00 on Thursday nights when you'd rather be watching "Seinfeld"? Who wants to do that-take-home midterm anyway? Who wants to be hassled by Student Accounts or Housing? Who wants to keep up with a hectic work, study and social calendar? Who wants to finish those senior cores when the sun is shining so brightly? Who wants to eat the cafeteria food? Not us! We'd rather be skiing or boating or hiking or fishing. We'd rather be getting dangerous tans without sunscreen down at Presque Isle. We'd rather be walking in 38th Street rush hour traffic. We'd rather be readi ng War and Peace for fun. We'd rather be sticking our tongues on flagpoles in the middle of winter. We'd rather be thinking up creative ways to pay for graduate school. And, actually we have... There's waitressing, selling cars, bussing tables, telemarketing, lemonade stands, baby-sitting, tailoring, basket-weaving, stealing change from; small children,-stealing change from roommates, okay, stealing change in general, donating plasma over and over and over again, mowing the lawn, del i \ en ng flowers, pumping gas, putting on your own production of 'The Lion King" since it's sold out on Broadway, reenacting 'Titanic" in the Union on the mock bow of the top floor, selling shares of the Brooklyn bridge, selling swamp land in Arizona, selling tests as study guides, selling copies of The Merciad (did we say "selling"?, charging admission to,see movies in the Great Room, and starting an independent taxi company. So, instead of crying into your bed over thoughts of yore, get off your bottom and do some manual labor! Suck it up, be productive,'but whatever you do, don't take us seriously because we're April Fools!

ARIES Combativeness is in your blooduse it Join that militia group you've had your eye on because they know what's going on. The world is about to end and the government wants to silence you.

PISCES You feel pretty proud of yourself, don't you? So your little plot worked out and now you hold a tidy sum of taxpayer's money. I had to pay this time, and I admit I am jealous of your new found wealth. Expect a visit from the IRS sometime soon, and try not to drop the soap. CANCER That itchy, irritated wdlt on your you-know-what isn't going anywhere because of the critters that live there now. Take a bath you dirty little monkey!
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LIBRA There are many intelligent and interesting people in your future. You are not one of them. My advice is a career as an accountant or telephone sanitizer. Then you can meet people just as dull as yourself and talk about weather patterns and lawn mowers all you want.
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TAURUS No, those new growths oh your chest aren't from pollution. They are the result of steroid use. There is a bright side. Now you can breastfeeding, something you've always wanted to do.
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Americana: The Great Fabricator
By Emilio Colaiacovo Senior Writer The constitutional crisis our country is enduring is quite fascinating and disheartening. While I have constantly remi nded that all a politician has is his credibility* we have seen the steady decline in President Clinton* s credibility in a legal sense. However, again it is amazing that the American people disregard the severity of this issue. Some insinuate that "it's nobody's business." If the president broke laws, you better believe that it's everyone's business. Regardless of the politicization that has accompanied this entire circus, there are several legal factors that continue to complicate this anathema. Last week, conveniently when he was on a "goodwill tour" in Africa, President Clinton invoked the rarely used Executive Privilege to prevent the grand jury investigating the Monica Lewinsky matter from hearing testimonyj from two of'his top aides,, Sidney B lumen thai and Bruce Lindsey. Before analyzing this questioned act, it is necessary and proper to define the legal boundaries of this discussion. According to the Supreme CouYt, Executive Privilege is the "exemption from the disclosure requirements for ordinary citizens because of the executive's need for confidentiality in discharging highly important ^governmental functions." While most presidents have reserved this right to areas pertaining to national security and foreign policy where the Court has afforded the presidency great latitude, the Court, at- the same time, has frowned on the use of Executive Privilege in domestic matters which teeter on the brink of illegality. In the land mark case United States v. Nixon, the Court ruledthatExecutivePrivilegecould not cover illegal acts committed by the president or aides in his intent. Furthermore, in Harlow v. Fitzgerald, the Court held that senior presidential advisers forfeit immunity if they knowingly act in a matter in which an individual' s constitutional rights are violated. In relating this legal information to this instance, Clinton should not assert his Executive Privilege to hide embarrassing, and for that matter potential criminal informaw

tion. While some of the information that Clinton said may not be extremely controversial, I would rather have a grand jury that has survived voir dire be the judge of the .criminality, or lack thereof, of this material. Allowing this "morally and sexually challenged" administration to act as judge, jury and executioner would not at al 1 be wise. What complicates this matter further is that the White House is contemplating extending Executive Privilege to the First Lady due to the fact she acts as a senior advisor. This is complete balderdash. This^is^yetyanother feeble attempt to stymie a federal investigation. Hillary Clinton has been involved in efforts to prevent political and legal damage from allegations that surround allegations charging Clinton may have engaged in a sexual encounter with another woman. If she has pertinent information, it must be reviewed by the Special Prosecutor. In no uncertain terms Should Executive Privilege be extended to wash away the Presidents' sexual: peccadillos. As evidenced by US v. Nixon, Executive Privilege can not be extended to cover criminal actions. Therefore, President Clinton is treading on thin legal ice and may be charged with tampering with witnesses and obstructing justice. These charges, if true, constitute an egregious abuse of power and all citizens, 'conservative and fliberal alike, should be repulsed by their president. The argument presented by some saying that each president, in some regard or another, has lied in the past does not expunge the president's culpability. While many are eager and quick to state, and for that matter deliberately, ignorantly, and foolishly misinterpret I ran-Contra and Watergate, that these affairs should not concern us, I utterly reject such a supposition. The president is no different and should be treated as such. What angers me the most is the President's cavalier attitude towards the entire scandal. Quoting another political analyst, "America is left with one clear impression - that the president has something to hide and he is willing to put the country through a cons ti tutional crisis to keep it hidden." So much for ethical statesman-

By Brian Eichstadt Staff Writer^ ;-

Remote Viewing: Providing Intelligence Collection with a New Perspective
sions provide useful threads, ideas, and detailed information but their results should not be considered an absolute truth. He thinks remote viewing should be used as a research tool in conjunction with other intelligence to create the best overall picture for a decisionmaker. American efforts to remote view began in jj 1976 as a response^ to confirmed reports of successful Soviet developments in mental espionage and mind control. Operating with classified status under names like SCANATE and SUN STREAK, the early remote viewing teams included natural psychics and tarot card readers which were part of various agencies such as the CIA, DIA, and the Headquarters of U.S. Army Intelligence and Security Command (FNSCOM) in ^Arlington, VA. Duringtheeariyyears,these'groups were used in support of the enti re national intelligence community, especially in cases where'.other types ofdata -collection had failed. In 1983 a major breakthrough occurred in remote viewing when Ingo Swann (considered the "Fatherof Remote Viewing") formally developed an accurate model of how the collective unconscious communicates information to the conscious awareness. This discovery resulted in the creation of operation CENTER LANE to test the controversial hypothesis. As a classified project (which included Swann and five others), it achieved substantial success after only six months when the new technique was able to produce more consistently and accuratly than themost talented natural psychics. At the end of the si x- month period, Swann left the project in the hands of his

The Cold War was responsible for more than expanding nuclear arsenals, advancing conventional weapon technologies, and creating the bloated defense budgets of the United States and the Soviet Union. As each superpower maneuvered to gain an advantage on the global theater, both nations placed heavy emphasis on the need for reliable and current information. Besides developing intelligence agencies and spy networks to collect data, they also pursued other unorthodox ways to gain technical advantages. One technique, known as remote viewing, achieved legitimacy through the bipolar information struggle as a way to conduct psychic espionage. Described by Major Ed Dames (an expert on remote viewing) as a "disciplined program that teaches the trainee to accurately download information from the collective unconscious," remote viewing is not a bunch of television psychics making random predictions. Actually, the technique is rather demanding because it follows a stringent set of procedures to help a person manage attention to become spiritually free of both time and space. A typical session usually lasts 45 minutes and includes a viewer (usually more than one) andaselectedtarget(person,place, thing, or event). The viewer usually draws or writes about^thcir perceptions during their spiritual experience and compares their results wi th other participants to formulate a general conclusion about the target. Major General Albert N. St. Libblebine HI, an advocate of the technique, believes the ses- j

prize student, Major Ed Dames. Abandoning normal intelligence collection methods, Dames began exclusively to use the technique until it was reliable enough to be used in support of life or death missions or special operations that involved the use of military force. He continued this work from 1986 to 1991 under project "Stargate," but his team became increasingly buried as it was passed among different bureaucratic agencies. After leaving the U.S. Army in 1991, the practice of remote viewing became declassified and Major Dames created his own company, called Psi Tech, in Beverly Hills, California. As a "for-profit" business venture, Psi Tech conducts professional remote viewing sessions for a number of different clients who range from private investigators to governmental agencies.* It also serves a dual role as a remote viewer academy where students can pay to attend classes or buy audio cassettes on how to become a viabl.e trained psychic. Some recent projects undertaken by Major Dames and his company have included finding the location of biological weapon plants in Iraq, discovering the identity of the Unabomber, and also finding the causeof the TWA Flight 800crash. According to Major Dames, other nations have used and are currently rumored 3to be utilizing various forms of remote viewing within their intelligence apparatus. These include the United Kingdom, Germany, Russia, France, and Israel. In a world shifting toward a multipolar system where minority factions can commit devastating acts of terrorism, remote viewing will be a valuable tool in predicting the unpredictable.

For the fourth year, the Department of Foreign Languages and Cultures will sponsor its Travel Abroad Essay Contest Students will have an opportunity to compete for a $300 cash prize to be used toward defraying the cost of a summer travel abroad experience, with the following qualifications: Students must have a recognized plan of travel/study to a country outside the United States during the summer of 1998. Foreign students may not use the money to travel home, but are, of course, eligi ble to compete to use the money toward a travel experience outside their home country and the United States. Toenter, students should respond with an essay to the following: "This is my letter to the world/ that never wrote to me." Emily Dickinson. If you were writing a letter to the world, what would your message be? Students should submit two copies of their essays, one with name, campus box and phone number, major, plan of travel/study; one should be anonymous. Entries must be no more than 300 words, typed and double spaced. SUBMIT ENTRIES TO ALICE EDWARDS, PRESTON 206, BY APRIL 17,1998

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WOMB CONTROL
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Stasis: What is the mythology of today?
stories progressed with their respective cultures, then where are we and what have we today? Supposedly a people's myths reflect the common an popular beliefs in higher powers and society that they have. This is the insight we take from them. It is pa^t of what we look back on as historv. We don' t necessari ly accept a ny of the beliefs as truths from this mythology of old, but we study them in respect to the cultures that did. If indeed the cultures of vesteryear held true the stories which today we look upon as simple fiction to study and be entertained by, then what will future generations laugh at that we have today? If past mythology reflects that culture's widespread belief, then the widespread beliefs of today inevitably are in the: process of forming, or have already formed, the stories that will be gazed upon in the future. See the popularity of our religions like Christianity and the stories that formulate them. See the social success and acceptance of the occasional film or novel that gi ves a portrai t of our world seen to be large, adequate, and accurate by us."Just look at all of the series, scenes of,philosophy, and ideas popularly presented and received

today. By Paul Wynne many avenues of happiness, then Our social progression (societal Merciad Columnist why shouldn't they pursue their growth) happens effortlessly. It course of action, as long as its in always will. A subconscious probIn last* week's column, ^J the realm of reason? Yes, hopelem we all have is our own mortal- Caffeinated Parasols" Marcia I*fully other factors such as intelliity and fallibility as we desire to Farrell makes several points congence and personality are considsee ourselves as the most knowl- cerning sel I -image and self-happiered in the equation; quite often, edgeable and perfect people to date. ness in regards to one's weight. I people, with the aid of some type But the same ideologies we look to do agree with Ms. Farrell in the of physical attribute, i ncrease their today have been supported for m i 1 - sense that people shouldfindhapchances of*finding another who lennia under whatever media suits piness in themselves for what they both possesses and seeks these i nthe day. There are different media are, as well as others viewing one ner qualities. as it progresses, accommodating for what they are on the inside. Another troublesome statement By Joe Gallagher the society. Wc laugh at the whole However, I take issue with several reads that Ms. Farrell likes herself Merciad Columnist of the myth. assertions that are made. better because of who she is..."it Maybe Star Wars will be the Ms. Farrell seems to imply that saddens me to see so many people As children, we learn of Greek Bible in two thousand years, its anyone who decides to go exercise who have not reached that point". and Roman myths in our schools. characters and lines and plot, and or engage in a diet is obsessed with Now, just who is happier? One If we are of the fortunate few who Stephen Spiel burg& George Lucas looking good and does not enjoy who claims to like themselves bethad informative teachers in those will be viewed as God's messen- life as much as someone who sits ter for who they are and j ust throws scholastic business centers we may gers on Earth. How sensibly ri- home and eats "butter pecan*ice in the towel in a major area of their have found out more than a breeze diculous our pedestals of belief cream.'Thatisabsurd. Yes,people life? Or those who are happy with about some earlier pagan mytholcan be. History means nothing if should be happy with who they who they are A ND ALSO identify, ogy as well. The traditional stories we learn nothing from it. History are, but they may also strive to what they desire, make the ATdesigned to encompass the plot a repeats itself What we laugh upon make themscl ves happier. I sn' 1 hat•^TEMPT, commitment, and sacri1 culture has taken have existed at today is what we will become to- what life is about? Just as people fice to improve themselves, strive least as far back as the written texts morrow. seek to improve themselves intel- for it, and then reap the rewards of these tales that have been found Note: Last ^week's Stasis lectually, socially, and spiritually, and benefits of working toward and can still be translated today. thev can also imbrqvc themselves " and achieving uSeif seals-thus pipcolumn was supposed to The* folklore we have retainedis physically. Physical improvement vidmg happiness in many ways? have been titled "Blue most often that which has been is a good ideal, as long as it is not Personally. I '11 take the latter. B ut. recorded in written form some-! v Colored,"' with pun m- taken to extremes which would personal happiness is up to each where along the lines of when it tended, instead of "Blue cause severe obsession or health individual. Even if Ms. Farrell is had been culminated. it problems. Collared. happier, with her perception, she Since the mythology we hear of It is proven fact that people who has no place to belittle those who today is of yesterday, and if the do work out or engage in some do strive for more, such as she does type of physical activity generally when she knocks those who go for do feel better than those who do a jog or go workout. not I n addition to releasing endorI wonder, if this were the Baphins, which block neurotransmit- roque period in which "heavy set" ters that cause people to feel bad, women were the "in" ideal, if Ms. people vs ho exercise also feel bel- Farrell would have wri tten her colter because they are enhanci ng their umn. Yeah Marcia, there are the physical self, gaining confidence, "little immature boys" that YOU Chris Wloch Editor-in-Chief Jim Hain Copy Editor increasing self-esteem as well as speak of who prefer tfyin women, News Editor Jim Gorman Jessica Russell Photography garnishing many other heal th ben- but there are also guys but there Sports Editor Scott Vance> Ian Davis 1 Advertising efits; and mere is nothing wrong, you might like in everyway who 1 narcissistic* or necessarily "com- also prefer thin women. You have A&E Editor Emilio Colaiacovo Senior Writer Carrie Tappe pulsive" with that. Attainingamore loaskyoursclftwoquestions. First, Features Editor Shawntae Howard Cartoons BUI Melville attractive physique does not nec- what do I have to do mat would Randy Hilliard Campus Life Editor Jerry Trambley Advisor essarily equal "the perfect surface make people I'm interested in, be image" as suggested. interested in me? Secondly, is it Many people work out and par- worth it? Yes, I do want my obituary to take in diets with the other part of Paul Wynne Marcia Far re II Joe Gallagher the dual purpose in mind, which is read that I enjoyed I ife; but, I know Rich Costelloe Angela Harris Todd Zielinski that they wish to look better both to I enjoyed life much more from Neil Norberg Brian Eichstadt Jamz Porzio themselves and those that they may exercising, improving myself Bruce*Leon Snead Perry Wood Heather Cvikovich wish to look good for. And what is physically, reaping all the associwrong with that? Let's face it, ated benefits and feeling good. The Merciad is the student-produced newspaper of Mercyhurst College. people do take into account physi - Maybe we can't ever reach our Box 16 L 501 East 38th St. 16546. Phone: 824-2376.* cal attributes of others when at- "perfect image," but shouldn't we traction is concerned, and ifpeople do u hat we can if wc so choose? e Merciad are willing to do what it takes to Even i f there is along the way, a make themselves more appealing little, what you might call obsessigned to others, which could provide sion, it is certainly worth it. Ttiesday

The Merciad
Merciad Editors

VOL. 71 NO. 17

April 2,1998

Merciad Staff

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Petronio Retires from Language Department
By BUI Melville Features Editor Dr. Vivetta Petronio. director of ihe Foreign Languages and. Cultures department and professor of French, will retire in May, but will return next year as a part-time professor of I tal ian, because of the Italian language requirement for voice major at the D'Angelo music school.. v Petronio said she plans "to pursue other interests, including a trip to Holland and Switzerland this summer, where I plan to visit a friend I haven't seen in 18 years.** "Dr. Petronio was my Italian teacher when I first arrived here. I still like to stop in and talk to her in her office- in French and/or Italian. Mercy hurst is losing a talented lady in Dr. Petronio," Bill Meyer, a senior anthropology major, said. Originally from Collecorvino, Italy, Petronio came to America when she was two, and has lived in Erie almost all her life.> She attended Mercyhurst and received a bachelor's degree in French with a minor in English. Petronio then received a master's from Middlebury College in Vermont, and a doctorate from Yale University. > Petronio was the first Mercyhurst graduate to receive- ajFulbright fellowship, which she used to study in France for a year. After teaching at Strong Vincent High School for a year, Petronio took a position in the foreign language department at Mercyhurst. Dr. Alice Edwards, professor of Spanish, said, "Over the past few years. she has overseen tremendous development in the department She has facilitated the reinstatement of several majors and minors, and the creations of new ones, such as the East/West Studies minor. As a colleague, she's been real .supportive and important for me because she's given me a lot of guidance and allowed partments were ? combined, she served a their joint director. "What impresses me most about Dr. Petronio is that she always prepares her classes from scratch, so that they don't become a routine exercise. Moreover, so many students over the years have felt free to go to her for advice not related to academics. Many alumni she taught have kept in touch with her over the years," Sr. Elisabeth Lintsen, director of Campus Ministry, said. Petronio saic she has been fortunate to see many changes in Mercyhurst during her time here. "Mercyhurst has taken on the atmosphere of a large college, whereas before it really had a familial college atmosphere." Aside from her Fulbright Fellowship, Petronio has received several other awards in recent years. Several years ago she was honored as Italian-American Woman of the Year club ^ «* *™ - Petro-mo

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Dr. Vivetta Petronio
me to grow. "I was persuaded to take the position by Sr. Gabriel, who was then the head of foreign language department. I thought I would enjoy college teaching more than high school teaching, and that has proved to be true," Petronio said. Petronio eventually became head of the department, served for several years as the director of the humanities division, and when the English and foreign language de-

also received Me rcyhurst's Teaching Excellence Award,.. For Petronio, teaching and interacting with students has always been a priority. In foreign language classes, I always hope that students attain some fluency and a love for the language and the culture. In literature courses, I would hope that students would gain some insight into experiencing life through literature." P Having spent the majority of her career at Mercyhurst, Petroniosaid she was reluctant to place some accomplishments as more important than others. "It's hard to sum up my whole career since it has been so long and diverse, but what has remained consistent is working with a strong faculty. 1 also love working with students, many of whom have become great friends. Enjoying work with {students is an inseparable part of this career," Petronio said.

Milinovich: R e a d y to Return Pocus'to Music
By Bill Melville

play a lead role in this May's Song Features Editor of Norway. During her free time, For Karen Milinovich, senior Millinovich takes*voice lessons early childhood education major, with Louisa Jonason, assistant choosing a college was based on professor of music. both the school's closeness to her "Louisa's a very busy person, so home in Waynesburg, Pa., and the I'm lucky she's taken me in. She's really inspired my love for music. quality of the education departEven though I'm not a major, I ment really feel like a part of the music "I didn't want to go to school school," Milinovich said. more than three hours from home, Milinovich also sings the national but I wanted a school with a strong focus on early childhood educa-. anthem at Mercyhurst football, lion. It was really just a matter of basketball,and hockey games. On looking at campuses, and MercyDec. 7,1997, she received the hohurst had a definite homey feel. nor of singing the national anthem For me it was important that the before a Pittsburgh Steelers game school had a music school and a at Three Rivers Stadium. Karen Milinovich campus ministry, so I could re"A friend of mine told me the main active in those areas," help with children's activities. Steelers were asking for audition Millinovich said. About her major, she said, "I al- tapes. I sent it in late June, and Senior Tom Bender, a long time ways had a good connection to completely forgot about it until friend of M i 1 i nov ich' s, said, "Fromthem. It's what I' ve always wanted they called me the day before the first moment I met Karen, 1 to do." Thanksgiving to see if I could sing. knew there was something special Despite majoring in early child- Needless to say, I was available," about her which demanded re- hood education, Milinovich has Milinovich said. spect. I t*s hard today to find some- spent a lot of time working with the In addition to her singing, one who's so genuine and consis- music department. Milinovich Milinovich currently serves as the tent in who they are and what they was a member of the chorus in the president of Phi Eta Sigma, the D' A ngclo School \s productions of Mercyhurst honors society for are." I £ Cavalaria Rusticana and Ma- freshmen, and has served as a Milinovich said she chose to bedame Butterfly. As a junior, member of Ambassador's Club. come an education major due to Milinovich played a lead in The For all four years, Milinovich has her love for children. At her home Marriage of Figaro% and will also worked in McAuley Admissions, church, Milinovich volunteered to

and has been a peer minister for Campus Ministry. "When I joined campus ministry in 1995, Karen helped tremendously to make me feel warm and welcome. She's blessed the entire campus with her beautiful voice as well as her beautiful personality. As I watch her sing in church during these last few weeks of school, I know my time with her is coming to an end. 1 1 miss her voice and *1 smile, but most of all, I'll miss my friend," Michelle Garvey, campus minister, said. After graduation, Milinovich said she plans to take a year off and

focus on her music, because school has limited the amount of time she has had for music. "I know I'll end up teaching at some point, but for now I need a taste of music again. Music has been such a big part of my life, so I need thetimejust to focus solely on it," Milinovich said. Milinovich said that her Mercyhurst experience has been nothing but fulfilling. "My mom once told me that everything here was mine to use, and I've taken that to heart. I've become a better person for following her advice," Milinovich said.

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WHITE OUT = JENNY NOVAK

April 2.1997

THEMERCIAD

PAGE 11

Baseball T e a m Struggles to Find Winning
By Stephen Nolan Sports Writer The Men's Baseball team played their first home games this weekend at North East against conference rivals Saginaw Valley. The Lakers Splayed on Saturday and won the game with a 15-10 score. The second was rained out On Sunday the Lakers faced Saginaw in a double header, Mercyhurst won the opener 4-3 and lost the second 8-5. The Lakers have a 9-8 record, 2-1 in GLIAC conference. The Lakers hit four home runs against the Cardinals including a grand slam by Senior Brian DePalma in a seven run* second inning. DePaima is hitting a .327 average for the season. Junior Adam Tills pitched 6 1/3 innings and claimed the victory.t Tills said aboutthe game, "I felt really good out there. I started to get tired around the fifth inning but by that time I felt we had the game in control. Our hitters were great and they, with out a doubt, won the

Form

game for us. When you put 15 runs on the board it's a good performance. The outfielders had a tough day because it was so windy but they, did a ^ good job oft keeping things under control," he said. Junior John McGowan pitched a four-hitter on Sunday's opener. A solo home run from Junior Mark George help the Lakers to victory. An early start by Saginaw saw them taking a 4-0 lead in the second inning. The Cardinals held out for the rest of the game to take the victory. , .• I ndi vidually the stars for the Lakers have been many, Freshman Mark Mattson is batting .424 and has four home runs and 11 RBI'S. Justin Santonocito has a .431 average, with six home • runs and 24 RBI'S. Mike Snusz has also been impressive fof*the Lakers batting .411, with 13 RBI'S. Senior catcher Mike Dombkowski shows full concentration as he gets ready for the pitch The Lakers have some impressive pitchers this season. Senior innings pitched, also McGowan Allendale,MI this weekend, where toughest teams w e will face in our Jason Smith has two wins this sea- has over 28 pitched innings and they will play two double-headers conference," said Tills. Next week son and an ERA of 1.59, Welker has an ERA of 6.67. ' .. against Grand Valley State. "This the Lakers return home for games has an ERA of 2,16 in over 16 The Lakers will travel to is a big game. They are one of the against Point Park and North wood.

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Men Lacrosse Defeats Boston College
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By Todd Zielinski Sports Writer Last weekend the men's Lacrosse team traveled to Cornell University to play Boston College in a mm ism tight Division I match up. Winning the match 12-9 the Hurst remains optimistic about the up coming k\$L match at Siena April 8th at 1 p.m. According to assistant coach Vinny Lang, the team had a distinctive game plan coming into the Boston College match. The hot weather and long bus trip meant the Lakers had to rotate five men on defense to keep everyone fresh so they could apply their high pressure style defense. Offensively the mid-fielders had to take on more of a scoring role because they knew Boston College would >look to shadow their bestoffensi ve threats. A Laker player tries to close down his opponent at the Erie stadium The results were outstanding.

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The Lakers scored the first goal and from there on, "We basical 1 y controlled the tempo," said Lang. The Lakers offense was balanced, getting seven goals from seven different players. Sophomore Doug Bellamy took a lot off the pressure of the Lakers leading scorer, Senior co-captain Bruce Alexander scoring three goals. J uni or Jon Savage also contributed scoring two goals and an assist. Mid-fielder J.D. Jones took even more pressure off the offense as he found the Midas touch wi*h two points (goal and an assist). x A nother key point to the offense was the majority of face-offs won by mid-fielder Gavin Prout who allowed the Laker offense to basically "control the whole game." The performance of; the game would have to go.to sophomore mid-fielderPaul Fullerton who had

a game high six points with three goals. Defensively, the Lakers did not allow any two players to have more than two goals. Sophomore defense man Brent Crosato and Ed Gotovich were crucial as they shut down the highly explosive Boston College mid-fielders. Juniors Rory O'ConnorandBrianHapemanalso played steady dependable defense. Derek Kravitz was steady in goal for the Lakers stopping 26 shots, 17 of them in the fourth quarter. Next on tap, the team gets ready to take on Siena. Both offensive and defensive strategies will remain the same. According to coach Lang rotating five guys on defense is a "great dilemma, because we lose nothing." While not much is known about the S i ena team, coach Lang said, "If we get off the bus not ready to play they can hurt us."

Mixed Fortunes for C r e w Boats at Crawford Bay
By Carrie Tappe A &E Editor stayed with host families from the Portsmouth Area. Crew from George Mason and jUSNA also The Men's and Women's Var- resided with the host families, givsity and JV crew teams traveled to ing the participating athletes a the Crawford Bay Crew Classic in friendly environment to meet other Portsmouth, Virginia -; last week- rowers. This is the first year Merend. Competing against teams cyhurst competed in the Crawford from University of VA, University Bay Crew Classic. of North Carolina, George Mason, Mercyhurst will host its first Hobart William and Smith; and the home race on Sunday, A pn 15, at 9 U.S. Naval Academy, the men's a. m. at Findley Lake in New York. varsity and JV and Women's Var- The men's and women's Varsity, sity boats all qualified for the fi- JV and Fresher teams will all be nals. The Women's J V boat missed competing in the dual meet. This qualifying by eight seconds. 1 would be a nice meet for the LakWhile in Virginia, (he crews ers to win.
49

Classic

The Mercyhurst men's eight enjoy thefineweather during their latest meet

Men's V-Ball Lose 3-1 To Ohio State
v.v.v v.v.v

This past Saturday evening the Mercyhurst Lakers men's volleyball By Stephen :| team faced the Ohio State Buckeyes in a conference match. The BuckSport* Writef. eyes brought with them a 21 -1 record to the match, a 7-0 record in the conference, and a number fiverankingin the country. The Lakers came into the match with a 15-7 overall record, and a 1-7 record in the conference. The Buckeyes remained undefeated in the conference while the Lakers, dropped a hard-fought eighth game. The Lakers play domiL^eSuperiorStateUniversrtyand ;:;wotttwoou^ nated the Buckeyes the first game of the match. The Lakers kept their an Teclt These wins fur- and with wins coming fp>$ composure to win in extended play, 16-14. However, in games two three ifier nwproved the/Lakers overall" Vinci and Scott Robsoii and and four of the match the Buckeyes took them 15-7,15-9, and 15-6. • m m m m • m OUACV -mmmm -mmtimm Statistically the differences in the game were most evident on attacksrecord;; eames were irftport^it late* oT these wins waTTmpoftanf usand 1 nope we can 00 me same the Buckeyes spiked for .457, while the Lakers only spiked for .256. The GLIAC matches for the-team...... as it was won by the Lakerstna tie- next week against DilrfllonH pew- Lakers' Adam Tokash managed to hit .400, with 21 kills. On defense the : : T h e ^ e r $ : ^ f c a ^ ^ U J « ^ ^ i ! i i i s ^ p i i ; | | : :crh«»e : | S ^ ^ ^ ^^jiw^k^ Lakers were led by Matt Tamborino who helped the team block the : on Saturday and they had no trouble Therefore the Lakers onlyiieeded LSim^ s^^^^taiGiMiS£0iate "V^lfl^ Buckeyes 13 times- the Buckeyes blocked the Lakers only nine times. f
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