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First Day of Forever
First Day of Forever By Mary Calmes
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author‟s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. First Day of Forever Copyright © 2010 by Mary Calmes Cover Design by Melissa Cogan/Daniel Silvester Photo Credit Getty Images
First Day of Forever
I was sitting at my desk on a Thursday preparing to call it a night when my cell phone rang. I was happily surprised to see my best friend Davis Boone‟s number on the display. “Hey,” I smiled as I answered. “What the fuck?” He growled at me from the other end. “Charming,” I chuckled. “I change my mind, I am not happy to see your num––” “Why aren‟t you coming?” I had no idea what we were talking about. “Sorry?” “My party is Saturday night Cam and I‟m supposed to do what––celebrate without my best friend? Really?” “Party?” I was so confused. “Yeah, asshole…party. Did you get the invitation or not?” Invitation? “I checked with my assistant and she said that yours went out first before anyone else‟s so don‟t even play it off like you never got it!”
First Day of Forever
He was really mad and he was never mad so something was seriously wrong. “Davis, buddy, what‟re you––” He growled at the other end of the phone. And then it hit me. “Oh that.” “Oh that,” he repeated snidely. “So are you coming or not?” I had not planned on it. It was his big party to celebrate him becoming partner at his law firm in San Francisco, and I had not even once considered going. I was busy, I had a lot of work to do, and getting on a plane was at the very bottom of my to-do list. “Ya know Davis I––” “No Cam that‟s bullshit. You‟ve been blowing me off for month‟s now–– years, and its crap. I need you to be here, without you it won‟t mean….if you‟re there then….shit.” If I was there then whatever it was was real and happening to him, if I wasn‟t, it could be a dream. Without me in attendance, to validate his moment, then he wasn‟t actually having one. I understood why it was that way even as I wished it wasn‟t. Davis Boone and I had grown up in the same suburban Chicago neighborhood but whereas after high school I had stayed home and become a police officer, he had gone first to USC on a full ride academic scholarship and
First Day of Forever
then on to Yale to study law. After graduating, he returned to California to join a firm in San Francisco. Now five years later, at thirty-six, he was being made partner and apparently, it was a very big deal. I had no clue, I only remembered about the party because my mind had flashed to the fancy metallic and calligraphy covered invitation that was currently stuck to my refrigerator with a smiling banana magnet. My mother liked to leave me notes, and as such had bought the crappiest plastic magnets I ever saw in my life. I liked them immensely. “Cam!” Crap. “When is it again?” I asked him, returning to our conversation. “You don‟t care anymore––what the fuck happened to you?” “What‟re you talking about?” I placated him. “I––just…can you just be here please, for once.” “For once my ass,” I snapped at him. “I have been going to see you since you graduated from high––” “But not in forever,” he groused at me. “You haven‟t seen me in I don‟t know how long.” “That‟s bullshit,” I grumbled. “I just saw you in…in…” I had to think. “Yeah, see. When was the last time you saw me?” God when was it? That was terrible.
My partner. When he was in college. I had come out to my parents my freshman year of high school and while they were concerned. he decided 6 . I was a rookie and then a patrolman. I figured it was fate.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes But it made sense. My father figured it was a phase and my mother. When I made detective. who was always practical. After being disowned by his parents. I had been thrilled. Jeff Doolittle. just an officer in a uniform driving around in a crappy car. he was never coming back to Chicago. I had been more concerned about the reaction of my best friend. and in law school. And of course. I could no longer just hop on a plane whenever I felt the urge to see my best friend. I got busy. he was returning to the Windy City. they dealt with it. I had been crazy about him since the seventh grade and when I told him that I was gay and he told me that he was too. and confused. informed me that at least this way she would never have to worry about me knocking some girl up. I had never really worried about the reaction of my family. nothing special. It turned out that I didn‟t have to worry as Davis was just as gay as I was. and by the time he was. I knew I was loved. used to complain all the time that navy blue was not his color. I had rolled my eyes a lot. But Davis wasn‟t ready to act on his feelings. His wife had informed him that he was a “spring” and should be wearing pastels. there was no way in hell.
I explained that by me making regular trips into the city with my fake ID that I was much more knowledgeable than he was and so was the perfect person to shepherd him into the gay life. all of it. his whole life in pieces for anyone walking along the street to see. they just ran. I warned him to shut his mouth. They would learn together. “Or what you little faggot. his cousin Paul arrived with some friends. his mother prayed. in my opinion was flawed. He disagreed. with the rest of the defensive line from Jefferson High. trophies. he decided that he needed to tell his parents before he took the final step. He wanted it to be his first time and some other guy‟s first time. family photo albums. but by the time I wore him down. His father yelled obscenities to the neighborhood. Boone. I was big. before I got there.” I roared back. When Davis‟ father turned the stream of screeching obscenities on me. all his possessions scattered on the front lawn. and we made quite the intimidating sight. I showed up. Since I had been the last phone call he made from the house. 7 . “Or I will tell my father Mr. and finally. the rest of the guys even bigger. His logic.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes that I was too much of a slut to be with. standing up straight. and when Paul and the others saw us.” he yelled back at me. They threw him out of the house on graduation night. I appeared in time to save him from a bashing. It was disastrous.
But his hand went to my chest as he lay panting and swollen-lipped beneath me. having lost my virginity at fifteen. He would not take kindly to what Davis‟ father was saying to me at that moment. they were both stevedores. My mother fed him.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes He shut up instantly. Even though I knew the timing sucked. Screaming at his son‟s best friend who happened to be gay was one thing. and was ready to give him all the benefit of my experience. my tongue was talented. my father talked to him in the den. once. And just because I was gay had not stopped me from making the all-city football team. I had four years of practice being in bed with other men. They were both union men. and my hands knew all the right buttons to push. had not stopped me from being tough and mean and scary and had never. diminished my father‟s pride. as soon as the lights went out. told everyone to go back to what they were doing as he and the rest of my buddies helped collect Davis‟ things from the front lawn. 8 . My mouth was hot. Mr. screaming at the kid of his boss at the docks was another. I was all over my best friend. and my sisters went through his things and figured out what could be salvaged and what was a goner. I took him home with me. I wanted him too much to let that sway me. Boone and my father. My friend Sam. but my father was higher up on the food chain. there alone in my room in the basement. That night.
” I assured him. six feet to my six-two. “Why?” I swallowed hard.” 9 . and I saw the war he was raging with himself.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “We can‟t.” he held me off. “What about me?” His eyes softened. All that bronze skin I had dreamed about since I was twelve. “Oh we can.” He took a shaky breath. my mouth watering at the sight of him. but he was leaner.” It was like he punched me. I need a job and––I mean when school lets out for Christmas break where the fuck will I go?” “You can come here idiot?” His eyes got flat and cold.” he gasped. What his body wanted against what his soul needed. staring at the tent of his boxers. “No. looking up at me with passion-clouded eyes. I was more than ready to taste him. “Fuck that. I know what the fuck I‟m doing. his muscles long and sinewy whereas I was built like the football player I was. squirming out from under me. “I swear to you D. “You‟ll come see me. Never. Once I get on the plane Cam I am never coming back here. leaning down to recapture his full. “I just––I just lost my folks ya know? I have to go to college in two weeks and beyond what the scholarship does I‟m fucked. He was only a little shorter than me. perfect lips.
“Wherever I am you‟re gonna be. “Yeah. You‟re it. I made a sound like I was dying. he was the one that walked me home. If it got weird with us then I might as well just fuckin‟ kill myself ya know? You‟re all I got now Cam.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “Oh I will?” I teased him. and that‟s why this…this ain‟t gonna work. and went with me to the emergency room with my father. the Boones were not Italian and in our neighborhood…but I was still allowed to be at his house and he was always welcome in mine. I remembered him at all my birthday parties. I got no family at all. I didn‟t have one memory of childhood. I scoured the neighborhood with him for a week until we found it. trying to lighten the mood. So I understood him not wanting to lose me. We were inseparable and now I was it.” he nodded. all I wanted was to be buried to my balls inside of him. good or bad. and even though our parents had never been close. I was his one and only remainder of home. but at eighteen. Without you…I got nothing. 10 . horny with raging hormones. I was his whole world. that did not include Davis Boone. When his new bike got stolen. When I broke my arm jumping off the roof of Theresa Fucilla‟s house. the smile turning up the corners of his beautiful mouth.” We had met in kindergarten.
pushing against me. panting. grabbing me. willing my body to calm down. crossing the room to the opposite wall. trying to wriggle closer. “Cam?” “Give me a second okay?” “Okay. eyes closed.” And I did know it but I wanted to make him feel it. between us.” he said into my shoulder. shoving him off me as I stood up. pressing. I wanted to push deep inside him and I wanted him to splatter my stomach with come. wrapping his arms around me. gripping the edge of my desk. “Okay. his head thrown back. it was all I ever wanted.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “Please Cam. I wanted him riding my shaft. breathing hard. molding his warm body to mine.” he breathed out. “You know I love you. 11 . moving forward in a rush. holding on for dear life because I didn‟t want to vent my frustration at him. “Please Cam. I wanted him to know how good it could be with us.” I gasped. his warm breath on my skin driving me right out of my mind.” Davis cried. moaning my name. I wanted to own Davis Boone. and most of all I wanted his legs wrapped around me. moving without realizing it.
I wanted to kill him. always will be and now you showed me ya know? You showed me. “I will. big blue eyes narrowed in half.” I looked over at him disheveled in my bed. blond curls tousled. “You want me to go upstairs and sleep on the couch?” “No. “You don‟t…you don‟t know how much I want the first time to be with you Cam. always have been. like I was a rapist or something.” I said quickly.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes I heard the calm in his voice and for a second. I…you‟re so gorgeous and when you kissed me I nearly…and if you kept going there‟s no way I could say no but…that I mean more to you than just––it means everything. You‟re my best friend. It means you love me too. I had never wanted anyone like I wanted him.” Oh yeah. He was so relieved that I wasn‟t going to force him to have sex with me. “Cam.” I growled at him. “Promise me we‟ll always be friends.” “I promise.” I was almost to the stairs when he stopped me. starting up the steps. clad only in his boxers pushed low on his narrow hips and couldn‟t hold back my groan of need. I was goddamn fuckin‟ saint. 12 . pushing off the desk.
I had thought that sometime over the course of eighteen years that they would bury the hatchet. “I said that I would come and see you but you live…I mean. again. But the ice never thawed and when my parents moved to La Grange.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “You‟ll find someone perfect for you and when you do I‟ll be all kinds of jealous. I didn‟t want to see his parents either. stomping up the stairs. “Sorry D.” I assured him. I never even drove by their house anymore. now what?” There was a frustrated growl on his end.” I nodded. but losing their son over it was ridiculous. “God are you even listening to me?” I was.” “Yeah.” “Cam you‟re my best friend. give him a call and tell him that being gay might not be okay with them. You‟re all I have from…you‟re it so I need you to be here. “Yes I‟m listening. focused. It‟s a really big deal for you to––” 13 . it wasn‟t fair to ask him to run the risk. my folks are still––” “No I know. I was sure I would. away from the old neighborhood. “Cameron Frances Mancini are you listening to me?” From the shrill sound of his voice I was guessing I had been checked out for several minutes in the middle of him talking to me. not even to accidentally bump into.
” “Why?” He caught his breath which was sweet of him. “When is it again?” “This weekend. Saturday…in two days.” I said softly so no one would hear.” “Fine. like he was really sorry. I‟ll figure something out.” “It‟s a big deal and I need––” “Oh for crissakes I said okay already.” His laughter was relieved and warm. 14 .” he cleared his throat.” “Oh? What did he want that you didn‟t?” “To have another guy join us in bed.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “Sure. don‟t fuckin‟ run it into the ground. okay. “Jace and me. um. we‟re takin‟ a break.” “Okay. grabbing folders and keys off the top of my desk. standing up.” “You will?” “Yeah. are you coming alone or is Jason coming too?” I made a noise in the back of my throat. “So. “We just want different things.
First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “That sounds hot? Why is that a problem?” “Oh I‟m sure to you it does sound hot but to me…I want different stuff at thirty-five than I did at twenty ya know? I‟m ready for the house and the dog and the ring. wondering what the hell he was talking about. that‟s all you heard. and once he even hinted that you weren‟t enough. and I know how your mind works.” Silence. I know you. You stopped listening right then. “That you are an all or nothing guy Cameron Mancini. “you already figured it all out for him. He‟s figuring out what he wants. you were done. “Davis?” “Yeah no.” he sighed. I know…so you‟re doing what?” “Taking a break.” “I don‟t––” 15 .” “What are you talking about?” “The second he said he wanted some other guy to join you.” “What‟re you trying to say?” I frowned.” “No he‟s not.
“Did you shrug?” It was like he could see me. “Fuck you. month and a half ago. “Jesus. he can‟t take it back.” “See. because let‟s face.” I grunted.” “I can tell you‟re devastated. not just the other guy. like a month.” And he was right. 16 . but all you heard was that he wanted somebody else and so you shut yourself off.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “He wanted you too idiot.” He started coughing.” “What?” “Do you have any idea what a prick you are?” I shrugged. you already are. “You should just say that you and Jason Collins are over. “He said what he really wanted.” “When did it end?” “I dunno.” “It can‟t be fixed.” I told him.” he exhaled. “Yep. He‟s probably trying to figure out how the hell to fix it with you.
“Fine. with a shit eating grin on his face.” I grunted. I‟ll see you. “Where ya goin‟ now pretty boy?” 17 . He chuckled.” “Swear. “So you‟re coming?” “Oh for fuck‟s sake I said I was didn‟t I?” “When will you be here?” “Friday night. “Crap. I‟ll see you at your place. “Friday.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “You‟re such an asshole D.” The laughter snapped my head up as I saw my partner Everett Hastings sitting at his desk. Call me as soon as you know when you‟ll be in and I‟ll be at the airport.” “What‟re you five?” I snapped at him. leaning back.” he cleared his throat.” “I know.” “Cam I––” “I‟ll see ya. feet up next to his computer keyboard. I‟ll see you then.” “Fuck that.” It was only when I hung up that I realized what I‟d done.
First Day of Forever Mary Calmes I flipped him off as he put his head back and roared. 18 . Watching me go from hard-ass police detective to total push-over for my best friend had him pretty damn amused.
His den was above his bedroom. and I had the fleeting urge to yell to see if my voice would echo. and his bedroom was behind a thick frosted wall of glass. South of Market. in a neighborhood that used to be more industrial but had gone through a lot of changes to become thee place to live in the city. It was a massive space. huge windows that were in no way child safe. 19 . Many buildings had been converted from warehouses to lofts and Davis‟ place was one of those. The bathroom was to the side of his enormous king size––emperor size––bed. His dining room was on one side. his living room on the other. It was basically a huge studio except that it had a second level.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes Two I had only been to my best friend‟s loft once before but my memory was good so I was able to give the cab driver directions from the airport. It was a huge space with a heavy steel door that had to be rolled open and bolted on the inside. It had a high ceiling and you could see the pipes over your head. His apartment was not far from Union Square. a kitchen along one wall and a sink shared space with the counter where he had barstools for people to sit on. as were two more guest bedrooms and the second bathroom.
You don‟t even have olive oil in your pantry D.” “I don‟t see a coffee maker in here either. “Hey. I eat out. probably at happy hour. “Where are you?” “I‟m at your place asshole.” “And breakfast? You don‟t even have eggs. I buy it. I wondered where the hell my best friend was at four-thirty on a Friday afternoon.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes As I took the stairs to the second floor to claim one of the bedrooms. “I don‟t cook. which was fun to hear. I get coffee on the way to my office. What the fuck?” He chuckled.” “I don‟t have breakfast. I had already called his office. “You‟re where?” “In your apartment. realizing how hungry I was. I‟m fuckin‟ starving. you know this. I gave him a call. and was informed that he was gone for the weekend. where are you?” “What?” He gasped.” 20 .” “But you were supposed to call me. so I‟m gonna go pick some shit up. and I could hear the noise behind him.” “I have a key.” he answered on the second ring. I have the stupid thing that opens the security door downstairs. He was out somewhere.” “Are you listening to me? I don‟t make it. and we both know I don‟t do airports. After I showered and changed.
“When will you be here?” “I‟m coming now. I want to––there are things I wanted to tell you and…I‟ll be there as fast as I can. You‟re right. “And I‟ll be here at least until Tues––” “You know what. I‟ll never use it again.” “I like coffee. I just need to ditch my friends and––” “No don‟t do that. “I‟ll get you one. Who didn‟t have 21 . “I haven‟t seen you in over a year.” He was agreeing with me? “Did you hear me?” I grunted. Waiting for the man to rise from his coffin every morning while I waited for breakfast and coffee was not my idea of fun.” “Okay D.” He chuckled and hung up. Like milk. I‟ll eat and hang out and when you‟re done just––” “Cam. don‟t hurt yourself.” I told him.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes I groaned loudly.” “Why? Once you go. I needed to stockpile his refrigerator with staples. knowing that our sleep schedules had never coincided.” his voice cracked which it never did. especially since I was on east coast time. I grabbed his key and my leather jacket and headed out. Not wanting to starve. get the coffeemaker. we can catch up whenever you get here. we‟ll need it.
expensive. did say it was closer than any of my sisters could do. “Is this your friend?” Davis nodded. I opened up a bottle of Chianti. the ties were missing. but he was still a no show. I got the groceries put away. Davis breezed in with four other men. walking around the bar to reach me. Jesus. I smiled at them. and started cooking peppers and sausages because I knew it was his favorite. They were all in the same kind of wool suits. the ties were loose. little Astrud Gilberto. with trench coats on over the top. By the time I got back it was after six. “You‟re cooking. my voice husky. tailored. and was tossing a salad when the door rolled open two hours later. “Jesus Christ.” “I always cook. low. all laughing. I put down the wine glass and held out my arms.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes milk in their refrigerator? Even an ex-boyfriend of mine who was lactose intolerant had the soy kind. but nothing ever was. loud. clearing his throat. because it was so good to see him.” I reminded him. on the other two. tipsy but not drunk. It wasn‟t as good as my mother made. Though my father. and my best friend. On two of them. after tasting mine.” the guy on Davis‟ left breathed out.” 22 . “C‟mere. turned on some Latin jazz.
“Hey. As they all got comfortable on the barstools. “the view is great from here. squinting at him.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes He flew at me. Davis suggested that they all take seats in the living room. I looked over my shoulder. I noticed that none of his friends had moved. “Yep.” he pulled back. “Nothing. hurling into my arms. “What‟s wrong?” He shook his head.” I said as I moved around his kitchen to check the oven. He was trembling and I had no idea why.” 23 .” “I look the same. “Are you sure you‟re all right?” He cleared his throat. Mitch and Jon and Alain and Rick were all lawyers just like Davis.” Alain assured him. wrapping his tight around me. “Oh no. His friends were nice. away from me but still staring at my face. “You‟re hungry right?” “Yes. except for Alain who worked as a CFO at some company that designed synergy solutions. checked the sausages and then closed the door. I‟m Cam. “You look great.” he coughed. anybody want some wine?” They all wanted wine.” I rolled my eyes. I nodded like I knew what the hell that was.
” he cut me off. take your friends and––” “That‟s not what I mean. the city lights were better from the living room.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes But Davis was right. its fine. I started to butter bread when Davis was suddenly at my elbow. “Well we‟re all in suits and…you‟re in your jeans and that T-shirt that looks about two sizes too small and you‟re barefoot and––” “And? If I‟m embarrassing you. reaching toward me but stopping himself at the last second. “You‟re just…those jeans have seen better days huh?” They were old faded jeans and they were covered in holes but who the hell cared? “Davis. “Did you want to change?” I turned to him. What the hell?” He pursed his lips. He was being so weird.” 24 . “Why don‟t you go change? Just „cause your friends can‟t doesn‟t mean you shouldn‟t be comfortable. your place is just like my place and if I‟m home I‟m gonna be comfortable.” “No. looking uncomfortable.” he said. “Hey look. “What?” He forced a smile. pressing them together like he wanted to say something.
“Yeah but. “don‟t be. curling a piece around my ear.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes His gaze followed where I had tipped my chin.” 25 .” I teased him.” I grinned at him.” I shrugged. I‟ll be right next to you.” I told him. raking his fingers through his short. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?” “Yes.” he swallowed hard. not sure what was up with him. he shifted so he was standing behind me. thick blond curls. looking relieved. What about––” “It makes espresso too. “You shouldn‟t just get stuff that I‟ll like.” he said fast. “really nervous. “Your hair sure got long.” “It‟s perfect thank you. “A red coffeemaker?” “You like red. “D?” I asked. I hope that‟ll be okay. I felt his breath on the back of my neck. I brought my black suit.” After a minute. looking over my shoulder at him. “If you‟re a good boy I‟ll make you some later.” he said. “What‟re you doing?” His hand was suddenly on my hip before his fingers twirled into my belt loop. “Yeah it‟s called undercover.
those kind of men did nothing for me.” Alain said as he walked up beside me. “Sorry. gave him a smile. I would have remembered. “I made enough if you wanna invite them to eat. I liked all the cards on the table. “It‟s okay. “Can I help butter your bread?” The way he said it.” I waggled my eyebrows at him. I fixed him with a heated stare. “Davis never said you were gorgeous. wet my lips and leaned close to him.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “I even brought a tie. laid the lines on you. I had never been one for games. I heard his breath hitch and looked back at him again.” “Oh we‟re eating. genuine desire. made me instantly annoyed. Guys who shoveled it on.” The muscles in his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed in half. from the heart. that was stupid.” I settled. calmed. Turning.” 26 . all flirty like he was just so smooth. you think you‟re up for that?” His eyes went all over me and he caught his breath. real need. even halting declarations which ended with straightforward questions like do you want to take me home and fuck my brains out just tuned me on big time. Honest. “Are you sure you‟re okay?” He nodded fast. “I dunno man.
“Go sit at the goddamn table.” He growled at me. “Tomorrow is my big day.” “And I cook. “Jesus Cameron you‟re beautiful. shoving in between us.” Davis growled. sinful lips.” I shrugged.” I said. pushing Alain out of the kitchen before rounding on me. “My friends are off limits you shit.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes I reached up and touched his cheek. could you not fuck everything in sight until you get back home please. He leaned into my touch. rubbed his cheek into my palm. you know that. Handsome man. “And you‟re busy. delicate features. eyes the color of a storm-washed sky. “After dinner would you come home with me?” It was straight to the point and I liked that. “You just got out of a long-term relationship. “he started it. He was definitely my type. pointing at me. going back to preparing the meal.” he rasped back. you‟re so ready to start a new one?” 27 . “Davis!” Alain yelled at him.” “Fine.” I teased him.
” “Oh yeah?” Rick gave me a devilish grin. Come on Cam. When I arched an eyebrow for my best friend.” Mitch vouched for him.” I smiled over at him. bringing him close to me. “but mine are better. “Cameron‟s going to be sleeping around while he‟s here. why didn‟t you tell us?” “What did I miss?” Rick asked as he returned from the bathroom. “It‟ll be okay D. I‟ll show you at my house.” I laughed at them. “Jesus you‟re really in a twist about this thing tomorrow huh?” I asked. “Then let me tell you something Cameron.” “Me too. “really. they were nice guys and obviously enjoyed giving Davis crap.” “Count me in!” Alain volunteered. Your friend is smokin‟ hot Davis. my thumbs smoothing over his cheeks as he gripped my wrists. only then did I notice how upset he looked. Ask anyone. Moving fast. I did what I always did.” “They are good. make us a plate and let‟s go. “Aww. “I just wanna get laid.” Jon waved at me. scowling. “Thank you.” I asked him. I give the best blowjobs in the city. and cupped his face in my hands. staring into his face.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “Who said anything about a relationship. I 28 .
“Um. pressing. but he insisted. you don‟t want to miss out.” Alain asked. leaning out of my arms. and it smells amazing. resting my chin on his shoulder.” Davis said huskily. Cam always cooks enough to feed an army. Besides.” I said before I drew him forward. “So Cam.” I smiled at him. into my arms. he‟s a fantastic cook. “thanks for the offer of the meal Cam. Davis got them to stay because Davis could convince anyone to do just about anything with enough time. before he let out a deep breath and leaned into me. it‟ll be great. hear the banter and the traded stories. “Let‟s have dinner. He wore you down. and in the end. pouring himself another glass of wine. They excluded me without meaning to. “I‟m here. we‟ll never finish it all if you guys don‟t stay and help. easing back.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes promise.” “No. just part of being the only one without the ivy league education and the six-figure a year job. It was nice to sit and listen to the men talk. wrapping him up.” one of the men said from behind me. sighing. his fourth.” I felt his hands slide across my back.” They said no. but I think we‟re going to just go ahead and go. 29 . and shaking. “what is it that you do?” “I‟m a police detective.
the hard bulge in his dress pants shoved into the crease of my ass. He leaned into me and I froze. “Davis. “I didn‟t mean to––” “I know you didn‟t. standing to clear the table. “I know. sliding over my abdomen. I just don‟t feel like getting into it. “What the hell are––” 30 . trying to breathe as I had to clutch at the counter.” I assured him. His hands were suddenly up under my Tshirt. “He didn‟t mean anything. The only one worse being the one that followed. swallowing down my heart. it‟s fine.” I felt his hands on my hips.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “You carry a gun?” It was a stupid question that I had stopped answering years ago.” I began. “You ever have to shoot anybody?” “Yes. “What is with you tonight?” I chuckled. but I don‟t do the highlight reel unless I‟m really trashed or if I wanna get in your pants.” The table fell silent as I carried plates to the kitchen.” Davis said from behind me.
one eyebrow arched as he looked at me. “You feel so good. “Your body is so beautiful.” I never saw people move so fast in my life. “When everybody leaves. concentrating on breathing. his hands tracing over my stomach.” he rasped his voice cracking as he pressed his face between my shoulder blades.” he gasped. “Please. “Christ.” he urged them. “I need to let my best friend fold me in half and fuck me until I pass out. my groan sounded strangled. daring me to move. will you forget about the dishes and pound me through my mattress?” My knees went weak.” he said. his blue eyes flashing.” He was going to kill me where I stood. When I looked at him. I could eat you.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “Cam. 31 . always has been but now. “I need to talk to you okay?” I nodded. “Have you lost your mind?” He shrugged. pressing a kiss to the side of my neck before he ordered everyone to get the hell out. he was grinning like crazy. The protests came fast. “I‟ll take that as a yes.” he said.
for like the last couple years. “Lately––no not lately. you‟re everything. I‟ve been thinking that I couldn‟t be any more stupid if I tried. I thought Jason was never going to fuck up. keep counting on your relationships crashing and burning so you‟re never serious about anyone? Jesus. “Cam?” 32 .First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “You said you didn‟t wanna mess stuff up with us. Thank God. “See?” “What am I seeing?” He took a breath. staring at him.” And I tried then to pinpoint a date in my mind. he‟s a bigger idiot than I am. “Say something. I‟m the only family you got.” I had no idea what to say. I mean you‟re it. “think now.” “When was the last time you heard that from me?” Last time? What the hell? “Every time you see me you tell me again how glad you are that we never tried to mess up what we––” “Wait.” he put up his hand. and what am I gonna do. Really try and remember when the last time was.” I just stood there.
” he shivered. “I don‟t want to but really.” he promised me. the only one I want to kiss and I swear to 33 . but we both knew that and really… I‟m so sorry Cam. “And you know that. You knew this was right when we were eighteen and I didn‟t. move out here. I‟ll move home. I just didn‟t know. it‟s lame and I‟m stupid. “I know. I mean. And now. swallowing hard. “It‟s not fair. I know. Years of putting him out of my mind and now he was ready to have me? What the hell? He put up his hands. “I would never make you move home. and now because I‟m ready you‟re just supposed to jump on board the love train. get a new job and…. “if you won‟t or can‟t….or.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “Why are you fucking with me?” “I would never.” he swallowed hard. Cam…you‟re the one so if you say I have to…I will. you‟ve been it since I was old enough to know who my best friend was. “Quit your job.” I was stunned.” “Good. and I wasn‟t ready and I was scared.” I tried really hard not to smile at his phrasing. you‟re the only one I want to sleep with.” “Oh fuck you!” I roared at him. What can I tell you that you don‟t already know?” There had to be something.
turning away from him.” “What if it ends up just like you were worried about all those years ago?” I was struggling so hard not to just grab him.” I said. even though I was pretty sure damn sure before.” Which was precisely my point. that I cannot. “Listen. will not.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes God. still unsure if I was awake or asleep. I will even learn to cook so you don‟t have to do it every night. where did he get off? 34 . striding toward the open window to get some air. have you touching anybody else from now on. I almost threw up watching you touch Alain and I realized. But please. really mad.” “And you were gonna tell me this when?” “What‟re you––” “When did you have this fuckin‟ revelation?” “I told––” “Its bullshit. I need you. Maybe the plane had gone down somewhere over Texas and I was in a coma fighting for my life. “You just got sentimental watching me with––” “Cam I haven‟t even seen you in almost two years. I was mad suddenly. just let me have you.
“God I wanted this.” he assured me.” I always meant it when I kissed anybody. It was unavoidable at that point. “always have been.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes He stepped in front of me. “You hope. “Baby.” I confessed. ever. “What?” He asked. Kiss me like you mean it. “And I‟m so sorry for everything. leaning in.” he surged forward and I smiled under the onslaught of his lips and teeth. If I kissed him.” “I am so not your––” “Oh yes you are.” he said. bumping. drawing blood. not meaning to hurt me but not caring at the same time. want. I was just too scared and too stupid to know it. and full of wanting him. he had his hands on my face. I––” 35 . neither one of us would recover.” I teased him. “No I know. and before I could move away.” “Not wanted. “You looking at me like you are now. his tongue sliding over my bottom lip before he bit it gently. “Forgive me my blindness.” he corrected me. I really wanted it. his eyelids fluttering as he looked up at me. my voice deep and husky.
the way he breathed out. letting him feel the beginning of the rhythm I could provide. When my tongue touched the seam of his lips. trying to prolong the contact. he was the one man who set fire to my blood. deeply… I was lost.” The heavy-lidded eyes.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “It doesn‟t matter. He tasted like honey and I pulled him forward and kissed him deeply. That‟s all I want. sly curl of his lip. it‟s all I can do right now period. tipping his chin up as I bent and sealed my mouth over his. without fail. 36 . The picture of him under me kept slipping into my head over and over. “We can talk later.” I said gently. which was very sexy. Always. he leaned with me. “Cam I just wanna get in bed with you. slowly. the slow.” I wasn‟t sure whether insisting we clear the air first was the best thing or not and my body was not helping at all. holding him tight in my arms. he parted them for me eagerly. went straight to my cock. His eyes were glazed as I looked down at him. it‟s all my body wants. The moan. and he licked his lips. torn from his chest. When I eased back.” I promised. “We should talk.
hands sliding over my burning skin.” he said. “Are you okay? You sound like maybe you like the idea of that. My caution. it was all I could think about. kissing my eyes. and he lunged at me. just a jock who became a cop and the only thing that ever made me special was my family…. My jaw hurt it was clenched so tight. my throat and then my lips. But he was the beautiful one. I was just me. my jaw. I felt how much he wanted me.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “Look at you.” And because he‟d voiced his desire.and him. was useless when it came to Davis Boone. my nose. Boone. I seemed incapable of not making a complete fool of myself. His touch sent sizzling heat straight to my groin.” I smiled at him. “Somebody wants me bad.” Like there was ever any question of that.” So much for silence. control.” He let out a low moan of appreciation. he couldn‟t seem to get close enough. 37 . pulling back to look into his glittering eyes. I turned to look at him. “I can‟t wait to feel you inside me. my cheeks. His smile was wicked. “You‟re so beautiful. lifting my T-shirt. It was all I could do not to grab him and kiss him breathless. “You‟re very forceful Mr.
First Day of Forever Mary Calmes He just stared at me.” I just stared at him. over my heart.” “No now. so very masculine. feeling how tight he was holding on. “Come with me. I want to hear about this epiphany of yours.” “I said after. “We need to talk. After you fuck me for hours… I‟ll do whatever you want. I‟ll do whatever you want after. his chest pressed to mine. Two steps up from the floor to where his bed sat behind that frosted wall of glass. “So talk.” “After?” He leaned into me.” he said.” “When?” 38 . I stilled his restless fingers.” “Whatever you want. My head snapped up and my eyes locked on his. I followed. lacing his fingers into mine. I had time to admire the dark earth tones. “Yeah. flattening them against my chest. the myriad shades of brown and black before he had his hands all over me. tugging me after him. “You have no idea how I‟m gonna be.” I concentrated on breathing.” “You scared me.
” “Davis––” 39 . “clearly you‟re overwrought. go––which is it?” “No that‟s not. I waited. putting my hand on his cheek to comfort him.” he tried not to smile.” “D.” he exhaled sharply.” “Wait. covering my hand with his. pulling him close. “stop. “I knew right then that if I didn‟t tell you the truth I‟d lose my shot at ever having a home. “Last night when I talked to you I thought Jesus…. what if you wanted that? What if I lose you to––” “Never mind. his eyes searching mine.” I growled at him. “Jesus.” I chuckled. He swallowed hard. I got it. Lemme kiss you. pressing my palm hard against his cheek.” I said.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes He just looked at me. I haven‟t talked to Cameron in so long… I have no clue what‟s going on in his life and then you tell me you broke up with Jason because he wants a threesome and I‟m thinking shit. He leaned into my touch. reaching for him. “I just got it you know? In that second.
” he breathed out my name. I can‟t have you fall in love with someone else Cam. then all the time we spent apart would‟ve been for nothing. his voice going out on him as the tears filled his eyes. you don‟t have to––” “You‟ve only ever been in love with me. “You‟re here with me and I‟m going to make you want to stay and never leave me. when we see each other.” “Davis––” “And so I begged you to come. honey. you‟re going to fall in love with somebody else. to the side of his neck and lower under the collar of his dress-shirt. “And if I lose you. his voice husky. all the time. He gave me the smile that could break my heart. Something had pleased him. I know that for a fact. “Cam. is getting longer and longer and pretty soon you‟re going to give up on me. I‟m not stupid. and here you are.” he said softly.” he said. sliding my hand down his cheek.” “Davis.” I nodded. walking slowly forward. Pretty soon. but I know too that the time between. 40 . “And I‟m lucky because you haven‟t.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “You‟re my home Cam. learn to trust. I know I had to grow up.” he said. find out what I needed to know before I could come home. not yet. so I had to step backwards toward the bed. his pupils dilated now as he stared at me.
” 41 . the way his hands were all over me. loving the way his mouth ran over my skin as he kissed his way down the side of my neck to my shoulder. and the noises he made. waiting. under my shirt. biting and licking my throat. the obvious delight. kissed me. To see the familiar look on his face. The way he was looking at me as he stood over me was very possessive. “So you‟ll think about it?” “I‟m already thinking about it. before he shoved me back hard. “Maybe we should slow down. gliding over my abdomen. very hot. like he was diving into a pool before he grabbed me. Did you mean you‟ll stay?” “We need to talk about it. he took my breath away. Ripples of pleasure were coursing through me. I hit the bed I hadn‟t realized was that close behind me.” He took a quick breath.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes I went silent watching him.” I smiled at him. my jaw…. “You agreed. “D maybe––” “Maybe what?” He asked. made it hard for me not to just grab him.” I closed my eyes and let my head fall back. “Cameron…. pressing kisses against my neck.
” he said. “I want you to take off your clothes.” I smiled.” “Sorry. reaching up to frame his face in my hands. really… only me. I had always wondered if they got deep and dark with lust. I could just tell him since he already knew. Everybody did. “Oh yes. and it seemed I had my answer. “What?” “You‟re missing the meaning of slow.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes He made me gasp when he came down on top of me.” I smiled at him. “Yes. I couldn‟t stifle my laughter. “And you‟re adorable but I want to talk to you and––” “I don‟t wanna talk to you.” “And you love me. like I‟m a ghost or something. swallowing hard.” 42 .” “Do you want me Cam?” My heart stopped. “You should see how you‟re looking at me.” I could feel my heart pounding just looking at him. “It‟s just I‟ve been waiting on you my whole life.” It really was not any kind of revelation.” “Davis––” “Because I‟m the only one you love. take in the luminous smile and the now glowing sapphire blue eyes.
” he pleaded. the hard pecs. the trembling.” I moved my hands down his throat before I started unbuttoning the dress shirt he was wearing. The way he closed his eyes under my hands. his collarbone that drove me crazy and his long. the defined muscles in his arms.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “Same here. “Show me. wetting his lips. there‟s only you. and I felt him shaking. There was all at once the sleek golden skin I remembered.” “Honey––” “Cameron…show me.” I stopped breathing. “What are you thinking?” I was silent as he sat up. straddled my hips. it was all very satisfying. “So dark…” I stared up into the blue eyes I loved. “Please baby. “You should see your eyes. “You‟re gorgeous. “Talk to me. smooth throat.” I watched him instead as he slid the unbuttoned shirt from his shoulders and pulled it off. My hands roamed up his thighs before I even realized I‟d done it. washboard abs.” 43 .” he breathed in.
sprawled out on the bed under me. Our remaining clothes were shed in a frantic rush.” he breathed out.” “Cam” my name almost whimpered. Because as much as I wished he knew the depth of my love. drinking in the sight of him.” “D. I knew that it had to wait. If I didn‟t manhandle him and pound him down into the bed.” he said. So I was rough with him. in that moment. pushing down into me. desire equaled heat and urgency. and even though I wanted to kiss him and hold him and make slow love to him. I sat there staring down at him. his voice husky. as he was finally right where I wanted him. “Cam. “tell me.” “Then fuck me. say it…say it now. I couldn‟t really want or need him. he needed to be shown. I heard his breath catch as I pulled him down to me. barely there.I want you inside me. there was nothing as important as him knowing that any more time away from him would kill me.” “I love you Davis. “Baby please…. and when he was naked. And right then. “I‟ll beg if you want. demanding.” my name was spoken like he was in pain as he shifted over my groin. “Please.” 44 .” Which annihilated any remaining strength I had to say no to him. For Davis.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “Cameron.
“You did?” Like he could ever be replaced. under his knees as I pulled him forward. licking. kissed down his chest. gripping him gently. my hand slipping over him. 45 . sucking at the same time.” I answered as I gently bit the side of his neck where it joined his shoulder.” “Beg.” “Please baby what?” “Cameron I‟m never going to…I…” “Can‟t talk?” “Let you go. “Cam…” “Yes?” “Please Cam. his voice cracking as the tears filled his eyes.” I told him as I ran my hands over his skin.” barely a whisper now.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “God I missed you. “I did. “Please baby.” he rasped out. His soft moan before the pleading began. leaving deep red marks on his skin. at the same time wrapping his legs around my waist. my mouth moving slowly. the way he let his head fall back on the bed. He couldn‟t stop shaking. the whimpered urgency there in his labored breathing. I was so stupid for so long. flushed skin. Don‟t make me beg you. “Cameron I just want to be with you.” I growled against his ear. his hot. his whole body vibrating under me. I don‟t need to…” He was pushing up into my hand. “I‟m so sorry.
there was only one more thing I needed. I would need to learn how he liked to be touched.” I squinted down at him.” “And have you ever fucked anyone without a condom?” “No. He jolted when I bit him. “No.” he howled when I reached toward his nightstand. with him. “Davis I––” “No. I knew his body so well and didn‟t. my thumb sliding over his gold eyebrow.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “Please baby…please. never leave you I just––I love my…baby. learn if he liked hard and fast or slow and deep. his voice cracked. every reaction. I leaned over him. He was breathtaking. memorizing every texture.” I shook my head and then was stunned to silence as the most radiant smile was given to me. I already had the lube. “I‟m clean.” he growled at me. “Cam…baby…please all I want is to be with you. and every look. unable to hold back my annoyance. my lips on his throat. running a hand down over his abdomen. loving the feel of him.” His back bowed. I was drowning in sensory overload. let out a deep sigh when I licked over it. Are you?” “I‟m a cop.” To be there. not once without and I‟m clean. 46 . “I‟ve never.
only to plunge back deep inside. and his lube to good use. him I would be inside and I would feel everything. the pressure. Hard. made my heart stop. all of it. mine to do with as I pleased. He cried out when I pulled back. adding fingers until I knew he was ready for my cock. He begged me not to be gentle. I held him down.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “So I‟m first. the heat.” I had never been inside anyone without a condom. stretching and preparing him. my best friend in the world. sliding in and out of him until he was writhing under me. It was the sweetest sound I ever heard. But now. Never wanted to be. followed by the demand that I fuck him.with nothing between us. I had put my fingers. 47 . how unbelievably tight he was. It was too much. and by his response I understood that the dominance was craved. Davis tore his mouth from mine and yelled my name. the man who had my heart since we were twelve. everything. “Davis––” He pulled me down for a kiss. never cared enough to ask for that gift. When I finally slid inside of him. his tongue driving deep inside as I lined up the head of my painfully engorged shaft with his ready entrance. I‟ll be your first…me….
When I rolled my head sideways. I never thought I‟d pull off that trick. hovering. “Do you think your mother will hate me?” I scowled at him.” “Why?” 48 . I found him standing over me. thinking about something. “What‟re you talking about?” “Your sisters? Your Dad?” “Davis––” “I bet they will though… hate me I mean.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes Three When I woke up I knew instantly that I was alone in the mammoth bed.” “We need to talk about all that.” I grinned up at him. when I take you away from Chicago. He was silent for a minute. “What‟re you doing?” “Watching you sleep.” “Why?” “Because you‟re finally in my bed.
First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “I have a job.” “Davis we haven‟t even talked.” I assured him.” He bit his bottom lip.” “Can‟t you transfer? Don‟t policemen do that?” “Yeah but––” “I just made partner. You don‟t get to decide that you want me and then get me. we need to figure out a way to combine them.” “And I won‟t.” “And I want that too. “I just want to be with you. You said you wouldn‟t make me move home. reaching for him. I have to stay here. It doesn‟t work like that. 49 . Why can‟t we talk?” “Because I want my life to start right now!” “You‟re being an ass. “I don‟t live on your timeline.” he breathed out. you have a job…we need to slow down and figure everything out. “I see you––you aren‟t going to make me leave San Francisco but you‟re not moving here. we just need to figure out how.” I said. We live two very distinct very separate lives. “I won‟t ever make you do any––” “Oh.” I informed him.
because his quivering breath. kissing him thoroughly. “I always wanted to just lie in bed with you. I chuckled into his hair. deeply. snuggling into my shoulder.” “Well I am. I made sure I got all of his mouth. watching the golden brows furrow like they always did when he was irritated with me. “Davis Boone…holy shit. “What?” “You‟re not listening to me?” “Yes I am.” I lied. pulling him back down. burying my fingers in this thick hair. leaning close. told me as much.” Me. God I loved him. “I just can‟t get over the fact that you‟re in bed with me.” “Yeah?” I leaned over and kissed him so he‟d know. I realized after several minutes. The way he wrapped around me. letting him feel the jolt of need that ran 50 . and was glaring down at me. that he had lifted his head. like he‟d been doing it for years. breathing him in. into my arms. the whine in it.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes He took my hand and let me pull him back down into bed. made me smile. shifting closer to him. couldn‟t get enough of him.” I said. and since I plan for it to be a continual thing. saying his name must have appealed to him. so natural. stroking his forehead. we need to––” “I could die happy right here.
“Don‟t stop. until he pulled away so he could breathe. up from his soul. “I could die from this. 51 . I spoke close to his ear. my hands sliding into his hair.” he pushed me back again. leaning in. kissing him so hard that the moaning was guttural. gulping for air when he shoved me off. I sucked his earlobe inside my hot mouth. “I feel like I haven‟t seen you in years.” “C‟mere.” I sighed. lingering kiss. my lips pressed to his. and I felt his breath on my face as my lips were still hovering over his.” I slanted my mouth over his. making it last. “God Cam the way you kiss me.” I said gently.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes through me. “No I––” “My dear sweet man.” he rasped out. It was a demanding. he closed his eyes under my touch.” he told me.” “You don‟t think maybe we could do that in the morning?” I chuckled.” “It felt like it. consuming.” He said. “Cam. When I bent for another kiss. Leaning back. staring down into his eyes. I just wanted to bask in his attention. “I wanna talk to you. “Wait.
I couldn‟t ever lose you. there was no denying how much he wanted me.” I chuckled and kissed his collarbone.” he smiled. kissing my throat. “I didn‟t think you‟d ever want me.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes The noise he made was very satisfying.” I smiled up at him. “Me too.” “Idiot. and leaned up. shifting over on top of me.” “I want to give you everything you‟ll ever want. I have to be brave.” “Are you sure? Being made partner and all is––” “No Cam. “I gotta dive into the deep end. you‟re my home. pinning me to the bed.” He said.” “And now?” “Now I know that I have to take a chance. as he slid his fingers over my jaw.” “We do. “I worry that we don‟t want the same things. I can‟t let anyone else have you just in case it doesn‟t work with us. with you. I promise we do.” 52 . “I just want a home. My body instantly responded to him being pressed against me. I just needed to make sure that it would work with us. I‟ve always wanted you.
brushing it back from his face.” “Yeah. my hands in his hair.” It took a second for his words to filter into my brain. Just staring up into his dark blue eyes. “Oh yes please. “I‟m going to make you so happy if you just let me.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes I was silent. hoping he finally knew what he wanted and praying that it really was me. and a life with me. that‟s what I‟m saying. You‟re saying I could quit if I wanted and stay home. you don‟t have to be. that‟s a done deal that you got.” I smiled at him. “Wait.” I smiled slyly.” he sighed heavily.” “A boy can dream. “And if you decide to move out here and if you don‟t want to be a policeman anymore. made my heart hurt. 53 . it‟s the kept man part that ain‟t gonna fly.” “Can you ever really see that happening?” “About the wicked things?” “Oh no. I opened my mouth to say something. “Just stay home and cook for you and be here every night to do wicked things to your bod?” He caught his breath.
“It is?” “Yes.” “Baby––” “Stop.” He jolted under my hands.” “Never mind. sucking his bottom lip inside my mouth.” I assured him. my mouth demanding. I just. all the things I said over the years. we just have to figure out the geography.” he cut me off. “There‟s nothing as important as us. “I don‟t need you to tell me everything right now. “I was so stupid…. Weren‟t we amazing?” “Yes we were. “Cameron Mancini is all mine. my tongue pushing between his lips. “You‟re mine. That was shitty of me to try and push. “just lemme hold you.” I growled at him. made me smile.” he beamed up at me. The moan rose up out of him.” “But––” 54 .” I breathed out. easing him down to me. everything‟s settled.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes “Shut-up. had always been. I just wanna be with you.” The sound he made when I rolled over on top of him. “We‟re gonna be together. you‟re thinking too hard. That‟s the easy part. I want you so bad Cam and now after…we were amazing.” And I was. his eyes drifting closed.
and cuddling him close to my heart. my mouth slanting over his. I was in heaven plain and simple. I was rough and bruising and devoured him until I got the whimper I was after. finally.” Arms around my neck. 55 .” I smiled at him.” he breathed out the words. “Love. “You‟re scared because now you have something to lose and you feel guilty for making me wait. I learned that faith is a good thing to have.” he moaned my name. “Cam. he moaned in my mouth. We‟ll figure the rest of it out. now go to sleep. “This is the first day of forever. I pulled back just enough to unseal our lips but not move out of his embrace. His arms were wrapped tight around my neck and I could feel his heart beating next to mine. leaning my forehead against his. When I slipped my hand between us to fist his shaft. I am and––” “You shit. Forever. We‟re good. he knew it too. and now. “I‟m so happy right now I could fly.” I assured him. “I love you. my tongue invasive. tucking him against me. warm willing body plastered to mine. we‟re smart guys––well. Don‟t okay? You learned that you love me. I had always known who the one was.” he growled at me. It‟ll be okay.First Day of Forever Mary Calmes I kissed him hard. I laughed back.
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