Richard Carr

Richard Carr’s brilliant fifth book, One Sleeve, collects all the resonating
themes of his earlier work, turbocharges them, and demands that the reader,

One Sleeve
stripped of all pretense, illusion, and self-pity, face the human condition of
our time. From these dark poems shine great beauty and a strange,
tentative-yet-tough kindness, while simile and lyricism transform each
poem into a mythology that is both frightening and comforting. – Nancy
White, author of Sun, Moon, Salt and Detour

Carr’s narrator picks scabs off his philosophical wounds while his alter ego,
―One Sleeve,‖ attempts to make sense of a fractured universe. ―Irony is the
new certainty,‖ declares Carr’s ambivalent speaker, caught between the
physical sensations and philosophical problems of this world and the next.

one sleeve
– David Hulm, Kirkwood Community College, Iowa City

The very first poem announces that Carr will not be playing by the rules.
―He thinks of himself in the third person / except sometimes when he talks.
// I talk between people. / I aim for the space between passersby.‖ Breaking
the rules allows the narrator to speak with/as a protean voice that makes
him always multiple, inciting us—we passersby—into remaining, like One
Sleeve, ―awake, counting beams of snowlight / hovering in the slats of the
blinds.‖ – H. L. Hix, author of First Fire, Then Birds

Evening Street Press

Poems
by Richard Carr
Evening Street Press
Dublin, OH

Evening Street Press

ONE SLEEVE ONE SLEEVE

RICHARD CARR RICHARD CARR

EVENING STREET PRESS EVENING STREET PRESS

DUBLIN, OHIO DUBLIN, OHIO

 EVENING STREET PRESS EVENING STREET PRESS

FEBRUARY, 2011 FEBRUARY, 2011

DUBLIN, OHIO DUBLIN, OHIO

© COPYRIGHT 2011 RICHARD CARR. © COPYRIGHT 2011 RICHARD CARR.

ISBN: 978-0-9820105-9-4 ISBN: 978-0-9820105-9-4

PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

WWW.EVENINGSTREETPRESS.COM WWW.EVENINGSTREETPRESS.COM

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
 TABLE OF CONTENTS TABLE OF CONTENTS
One Sleeve Goes to the Park to Think 1 One Sleeve Goes to the Park to Think 1
One Sleeve Doesn’t Believe in Hell 2 One Sleeve Doesn’t Believe in Hell 2
God Is Angry with Me 3 God Is Angry with Me 3
One Sleeve Doesn’t Believe in God 4 One Sleeve Doesn’t Believe in God 4
One Sleeve Washes His Hands of God 5 One Sleeve Washes His Hands of God 5
I Would Like a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich 6 I Would Like a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich 6
One Sleeve Is Perturbed by Time in the Winter 7 One Sleeve Is Perturbed by Time in the Winter 7
There Is a Deeper Hush in the New Library 8 There Is a Deeper Hush in the New Library 8
One Sleeve’s Volition Slouches Like a Drunk 9 One Sleeve’s Volition Slouches Like a Drunk 9
One Sleeve’s Moral Consciousness Is a Work of Art 10 One Sleeve’s Moral Consciousness Is a Work of Art 10
I Am a Human Chess Piece in the Park 11 I Am a Human Chess Piece in the Park 11
I Watch a Dollar Bill Swirl Down the Sewer 12 I Watch a Dollar Bill Swirl Down the Sewer 12
One Sleeve Does Not Feel Loneliness 13 One Sleeve Does Not Feel Loneliness 13
One Sleeve Does Not Admit the Existence of Any Truth 14 One Sleeve Does Not Admit the Existence of Any Truth 14
I Believe in Ghosts 15 I Believe in Ghosts 15
One Sleeve Knows Pi to One Hundred Digits 16 One Sleeve Knows Pi to One Hundred Digits 16
One Sleeve Limps Under the Weight of Being 17 One Sleeve Limps Under the Weight of Being 17
I Swelter in a Fever of Decay 18 I Swelter in a Fever of Decay 18
One Sleeve Is Not Afraid of Death 19 One Sleeve Is Not Afraid of Death 19
I Contemplate Suicide the Way Kids Contemplate Summer 20 I Contemplate Suicide the Way Kids Contemplate Summer 20
One Sleeve Falls in Love Gradually 21 One Sleeve Falls in Love Gradually 21
The Art Museum Is a Tomb of Good Intentions 22 The Art Museum Is a Tomb of Good Intentions 22
I Hide in the Boiler Room When the Telephone Rings 23 I Hide in the Boiler Room When the Telephone Rings 23
One Sleeve Likes His Egg Salad Sandwich Without Egg 24 One Sleeve Likes His Egg Salad Sandwich Without Egg 24
I Hope to See My Father in the Afterlife 25 I Hope to See My Father in the Afterlife 25
One Sleeve Can’t Imagine an Afterlife 26 One Sleeve Can’t Imagine an Afterlife 26
One Sleeve Thinks the Ground of Being Is Farcical 27 One Sleeve Thinks the Ground of Being Is Farcical 27
One Sleeve’s Certainty Is Absolute, A Silk Pocket Square 28 One Sleeve’s Certainty Is Absolute, A Silk Pocket Square 28
One Sleeve Remembers His Friend in College 29 One Sleeve Remembers His Friend in College 29
God’s Universe Explodes in the Planetarium 30 God’s Universe Explodes in the Planetarium 30
 One Sleeve Believes in Evolution 31 One Sleeve Believes in Evolution 31
I Borrow a White Shirt, Borrow Buttons 32 I Borrow a White Shirt, Borrow Buttons 32
One Sleeve Considers Speech a Validation of the Irrelevant 33 One Sleeve Considers Speech a Validation of the Irrelevant 33
One Sleeve Is Looking for Something to Believe 34 One Sleeve Is Looking for Something to Believe 34
The Elephant Hides Behind Her Long, Shy Eyelashes 35 The Elephant Hides Behind Her Long, Shy Eyelashes 35
My Beliefs Walk with a Slight Limp 36 My Beliefs Walk with a Slight Limp 36
One Sleeve Stands in Front of the Cathedral Looking Up 37 One Sleeve Stands in Front of the Cathedral Looking Up 37
I Foresee the Squalor of My Old Age 38 I Foresee the Squalor of My Old Age 38
Time Infuriates One Sleeve 39 Time Infuriates One Sleeve 39
At the Concert in the Park One Sleeve Recognizes Strangers 40 At the Concert in the Park One Sleeve Recognizes Strangers 40
I Work Through My Nightly Equations Quickly 41 I Work Through My Nightly Equations Quickly 41
I Want My God Back 42 I Want My God Back 42
I Was an Enchanted Child 43 I Was an Enchanted Child 43
The Marathoners Fill the Avenue at Mile Twelve 44 The Marathoners Fill the Avenue at Mile Twelve 44
One Sleeve Does Not Cry for Help 45 One Sleeve Does Not Cry for Help 45
One Sleeve Trivializes Time 46 One Sleeve Trivializes Time 46
I Feel Helpless in a Cab 47 I Feel Helpless in a Cab 47
The Lights Stay Up in the Concert Hall 48 The Lights Stay Up in the Concert Hall 48
One Sleeve Needs to Think 49 One Sleeve Needs to Think 49
One Sleeve Loses His Balance Standing Next to a Horse 50 One Sleeve Loses His Balance Standing Next to a Horse 50
I Look Down the Subway Stair in the Rain 51 I Look Down the Subway Stair in the Rain 51
One Sleeve’s Curiosity Boils in a Pot 52 One Sleeve’s Curiosity Boils in a Pot 52
The Exposed Drain Pipe in the Kitchen Bears My Weight 53 The Exposed Drain Pipe in the Kitchen Bears My Weight 53
One Sleeve Stands on a Hot Tennis Court, Evaporating 54 One Sleeve Stands on a Hot Tennis Court, Evaporating 54
One Sleeve Does Not Plan for Retirement 55 One Sleeve Does Not Plan for Retirement 55
One Sleeve’s Morning Routine Is Efficient 56 One Sleeve’s Morning Routine Is Efficient 56
One Sleeve Redecorates for the Last Time 57 One Sleeve Redecorates for the Last Time 57
I Can’t Afford the Full Price of an Operatic Death 58 I Can’t Afford the Full Price of an Operatic Death 58
Dirty Laundry Does Not Anger One Sleeve 59 Dirty Laundry Does Not Anger One Sleeve 59
One Sleeve Goes to the Park for the Crabapple Blossoms 60 One Sleeve Goes to the Park for the Crabapple Blossoms 60
 1 1

ONE SLEEVE GOES TO THE PARK TO THINK ONE SLEEVE GOES TO THE PARK TO THINK

One Sleeve goes to the park to think. One Sleeve goes to the park to think.
Sitting on a green bench Sitting on a green bench

or standing like a tree, or standing like a tree,

he is always thinking, he is always thinking,

like a watch that never stops, like a watch that never stops,
a TV never turned off. a TV never turned off.

He thinks of himself in the third person He thinks of himself in the third person
except sometimes when he talks. except sometimes when he talks.

I talk between people. I talk between people.

I aim for the space between passersby. I aim for the space between passersby.

If they look and say What? If they look and say What?
One Sleeve puts his head down. One Sleeve puts his head down.

1 1
2 2

ONE SLEEVE DOESN’T BELIEVE IN HELL ONE SLEEVE DOESN’T BELIEVE IN HELL

One Sleeve doesn’t believe in Hell One Sleeve doesn’t believe in Hell
although he maintains a prudent fear of it— although he maintains a prudent fear of it—

an act, one way or the other. an act, one way or the other.
I’m not acting. I’m not acting.

I’m afraid of the people in the apartment above me I’m afraid of the people in the apartment above me
who dance, who dance,

thumping the floor to blurred music thumping the floor to blurred music
on Thursday nights on Thursday nights

while conducting loud conversations while conducting loud conversations

with clanking restaurant-noises with clanking restaurant-noises

and bursts of laughter and bursts of laughter

that shake me like gunfire. that shake me like gunfire.

One Sleeve despises the rude louts. One Sleeve despises the rude louts.
I’m nervous, dog nervous. I’m nervous, dog nervous.

I don’t know what to believe. I don’t know what to believe.

Once in a movie theater I fell asleep, Once in a movie theater I fell asleep,

and I was a character in the movie. and I was a character in the movie.
The others were talking to me, The others were talking to me,

but I didn’t know my lines. but I didn’t know my lines.

That’s how nervous I am on Thursday nights. That’s how nervous I am on Thursday nights.

One Sleeve scoffs. One Sleeve scoffs.

They will suffer wild excruciations in Hell. They will suffer wild excruciations in Hell.

And now I see them dancing in fire above me, And now I see them dancing in fire above me,
all those characters in the movies. all those characters in the movies.

2 2
 3 3

GOD IS ANGRY WITH ME GOD IS ANGRY WITH ME

God is angry with me. God is angry with me.

The oversized lawn tractors mowing the park The oversized lawn tractors mowing the park

circle the trees at full tilt circle the trees at full tilt
like outlaw cowboys like outlaw cowboys

terrorizing the townspeople. terrorizing the townspeople.

I’m next I’m next

unless I uproot my feet and move away. unless I uproot my feet and move away.
One Sleeve is thinking. One Sleeve is thinking.

He’s not going to move for anyone, He’s not going to move for anyone,
least of all God playing cowboy. least of all God playing cowboy.

3 3
4 4

ONE SLEEVE DOESN’T BELIEVE IN GOD ONE SLEEVE DOESN’T BELIEVE IN GOD

One Sleeve doesn’t believe in God. One Sleeve doesn’t believe in God.
He knows this angers God. He knows this angers God.

I talk to Him. I talk to Him.

I pray. I pray.

One Sleeve humors the Supreme Being. One Sleeve humors the Supreme Being.
I know this angers God. I know this angers God.

After getting into bed After getting into bed

and pulling the covers up to my neck, and pulling the covers up to my neck,

I say my prayers, I say my prayers,

explaining all the events of the day explaining all the events of the day

until I fall asleep. until I fall asleep.

One Sleeve dreams he can fly. One Sleeve dreams he can fly.

He soars like an angel. He soars like an angel.

I feel like God, kind of angry. I feel like God, kind of angry.

4 4
 5 5

ONE SLEEVE WASHES HIS HANDS OF GOD ONE SLEEVE WASHES HIS HANDS OF GOD

One Sleeve washes his hands of God. One Sleeve washes his hands of God.
I’m terrified. I’m terrified.

One Sleeve understands the stars in their billions. One Sleeve understands the stars in their billions.
He looks into the night sky He looks into the night sky

and comprehends. and comprehends.

I do not comprehend God, I do not comprehend God,

his vengeful and almighty power his vengeful and almighty power
to do nothing, to do nothing,

and I wash my hands twenty-five times a day, and I wash my hands twenty-five times a day,
searching the bathroom mirror searching the bathroom mirror

with blacked eyes. with blacked eyes.

One Sleeve knows: Enough is enough. One Sleeve knows: Enough is enough.

5 5
6 6

I WOULD LIKE A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH I WOULD LIKE A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH

I would like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I would like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,
sweet and soft like all the good things in life, sweet and soft like all the good things in life,

Mother for example. Mother for example.

One Sleeve thinks the dead taste like dirt. One Sleeve thinks the dead taste like dirt.

I only want a nice lunch I only want a nice lunch

on a paper plate, on a paper plate,

on a tablecloth checkered blue and white on a tablecloth checkered blue and white
in my perfect kitchenette. in my perfect kitchenette.

One Sleeve is interested in the fuzz under the refrigerator, One Sleeve is interested in the fuzz under the refrigerator,
that layer of gritty felt, that layer of gritty felt,

and crouches like a rabbit and crouches like a rabbit

to sniff the dust and crumbs and hair to sniff the dust and crumbs and hair

and draw out samples with the flat of his hand and draw out samples with the flat of his hand
to taste. to taste.

One Sleeve thinks everything tastes like dirt One Sleeve thinks everything tastes like dirt
ultimately. ultimately.

I finish my sandwich with dirty hands. I finish my sandwich with dirty hands.
It tastes like Mother. It tastes like Mother.

6 6
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ONE SLEEVE IS PERTURBED BY TIME IN THE WINTER ONE SLEEVE IS PERTURBED BY TIME IN THE WINTER

One Sleeve is perturbed by time in the winter One Sleeve is perturbed by time in the winter
and kicks the ticking radiator and kicks the ticking radiator

for counting too slowly for counting too slowly

and then too fast. and then too fast.

On a cold night, he keeps heavy boots by the bed. On a cold night, he keeps heavy boots by the bed.
When the snow falls and the radiator gurgles, When the snow falls and the radiator gurgles,

time halts entirely. time halts entirely.

No amount of kicking will save him. No amount of kicking will save him.

I remain awake, counting beams of snowlight I remain awake, counting beams of snowlight
hovering in the slats of the blinds, hovering in the slats of the blinds,

waiting for the timid ticking to resume. waiting for the timid ticking to resume.
One Sleeve slumps in dumbfounded slumber. One Sleeve slumps in dumbfounded slumber.

7 7
8 8

THERE IS A DEEPER HUSH IN THE NEW LIBRARY THERE IS A DEEPER HUSH IN THE NEW LIBRARY

There is a deeper hush in the new library, There is a deeper hush in the new library,
a new technology, a new technology,

and a darker librarian. and a darker librarian.

I read more quietly than ever. I read more quietly than ever.

Civilizations still topple Civilizations still topple

but without the rumbling and cracking of stone, but without the rumbling and cracking of stone,

and the invading armies march, as always, and the invading armies march, as always,
but with softer boots. but with softer boots.

The video footage is muted, tacit. The video footage is muted, tacit.
One Sleeve makes subtitles One Sleeve makes subtitles

out of book jackets, out of book jackets,

cutting and pasting. cutting and pasting.

They read like manifestoes. They read like manifestoes.

I squirm in my wooden chair. I squirm in my wooden chair.

I squirm in a plastic chair, I squirm in a plastic chair,

courtroom decor in every room courtroom decor in every room

and all the books nefarious. and all the books nefarious.
The magistrates look down from their desks. The magistrates look down from their desks.

One Sleeve is a radical at his computer, One Sleeve is a radical at his computer,
cutting and pasting, cutting and pasting,

a dissident writing his own narrative, a dissident writing his own narrative,
anarchist, nihilist, anarchist, nihilist,

clacking louder and louder on the keyboard. clacking louder and louder on the keyboard.
I should say something, I should say something,

but I am obedient. but I am obedient.

The librarians are coming for him. The librarians are coming for him.

I sit silently, frozen, I sit silently, frozen,

fingers curled over the keys. 8 fingers curled over the keys. 8
 9 9

ONE SLEEVE’S VOLITION SLOUCHES LIKE A DRUNK ONE SLEEVE’S VOLITION SLOUCHES LIKE A DRUNK

One Sleeve’s volition slouches like a drunk One Sleeve’s volition slouches like a drunk
waiting to cross the street, waiting to cross the street,

an arm wrapped around the lamppost an arm wrapped around the lamppost
like an old friend. like an old friend.

The Walk Don’t-Walk light changes my mind The Walk Don’t-Walk light changes my mind
every thirty seconds, every thirty seconds,

thrilling! thrilling!
One Sleeve is not disturbed. One Sleeve is not disturbed.

A satyr tasting a dark plum, A satyr tasting a dark plum,

he contemplates his next move. he contemplates his next move.

9 9
10 10

ONE SLEEVE’S MORAL CONSCIOUSNESS IS A WORK OF ART ONE SLEEVE’S MORAL CONSCIOUSNESS IS A WORK OF ART

One Sleeve’s moral consciousness is a work of art: One Sleeve’s moral consciousness is a work of art:
incomprehensible. incomprehensible.

A dazzling lake of summer, A dazzling lake of summer,

a blank snowscape— a blank snowscape—

he has not decided. he has not decided.

He adds minute dabs of color, He adds minute dabs of color,

leaning this way and that. leaning this way and that.
I suck the wooden tip of my brush. I suck the wooden tip of my brush.

I’ll paint a rustic cabin and a fisherman on the dock. I’ll paint a rustic cabin and a fisherman on the dock.
Or a pine forest with a gray wolf in a blizzard. Or a pine forest with a gray wolf in a blizzard.

I can’t decide. I can’t decide.

One Sleeve thinks representational art is a moral smokescreen, One Sleeve thinks representational art is a moral smokescreen,

easy to see through. easy to see through.

He scrapes paint off the canvas. He scrapes paint off the canvas.

He scrapes the fibers of the canvas He scrapes the fibers of the canvas
until only diaphanous shreds and white dust remain until only diaphanous shreds and white dust remain

to represent his moral ideal. to represent his moral ideal.

I paint an abandoned cabin I paint an abandoned cabin

with tattered curtains in the window with tattered curtains in the window
and snow falling lightly on the sill. and snow falling lightly on the sill.

10 10
 11 11

I AM A HUMAN CHESS PIECE IN THE PARK I AM A HUMAN CHESS PIECE IN THE PARK

I am a human chess piece in the park. I am a human chess piece in the park.
I stand contentedly in my square I stand contentedly in my square

until called forward until called forward

or driven into retreat. or driven into retreat.

One Sleeve observes impatiently. One Sleeve observes impatiently.

He does not trust chess masters. He does not trust chess masters.

He appreciates their willingness to sacrifice. He appreciates their willingness to sacrifice.

He understands their love of pawn structures. He understands their love of pawn structures.

But he does not relish a victory— But he does not relish a victory—
so many decisions so many decisions

and so little outcome. and so little outcome.

No suffering, no death, no hope. No suffering, no death, no hope.

I’m glad it’s just a game. I’m glad it’s just a game.
I walk off the board anytime. I walk off the board anytime.

Followed by bulging eyes and angry murmuring Followed by bulging eyes and angry murmuring
at the merest disruption of play, at the merest disruption of play,

One Sleeve walks away disgruntled and righteous: One Sleeve walks away disgruntled and righteous:
The insanity of the masters is evident. The insanity of the masters is evident.

11 11
12 12

I WATCH A DOLLAR BILL SWIRL DOWN THE SEWER I WATCH A DOLLAR BILL SWIRL DOWN THE SEWER

I watch a dollar bill swirl down the sewer. I watch a dollar bill swirl down the sewer.
It was my only dollar, It was my only dollar,

blown from my fingers in a gust of rain, blown from my fingers in a gust of rain,
and the vendor snatched back his newspaper. and the vendor snatched back his newspaper.

I’ve seen how dollars are made, I’ve seen how dollars are made,
in secluded factories with mammoth presses thundering full bore in secluded factories with mammoth presses thundering full bore

and slaves and slave masters and dark lords and slaves and slave masters and dark lords
who all work twenty-four hours a day who all work twenty-four hours a day

and never speak. and never speak.

I can do without a newspaper I can do without a newspaper

under the circumstances. under the circumstances.

One Sleeve grabs one and runs. One Sleeve grabs one and runs.

12 12
 13 13

ONE SLEEVE DOES NOT FEEL LONELINESS ONE SLEEVE DOES NOT FEEL LONELINESS

One Sleeve does not feel loneliness. One Sleeve does not feel loneliness.
He’s too busy thinking. He’s too busy thinking.

He thinks all day in the sun downtown. He thinks all day in the sun downtown.
At the crazy deli counter At the crazy deli counter

I shake one finger in the air and babble like a stock trader I shake one finger in the air and babble like a stock trader
for my pastrami and Swiss on a bagel. for my pastrami and Swiss on a bagel.

Outside in the clanking, honking street, Outside in the clanking, honking street,
in the flow of lunchtime pedestrian traffic, in the flow of lunchtime pedestrian traffic,

I eat and walk. I eat and walk.

One Sleeve’s mind flows with people. One Sleeve’s mind flows with people.

They all have a dab of mustard on their lips, They all have a dab of mustard on their lips,
a little to the left. a little to the left.

It rains, It rains,
and they lift their faces into the shower and they lift their faces into the shower

and lick away the mustard. and lick away the mustard.
They are strange to each other They are strange to each other

but not to One Sleeve but not to One Sleeve

who regards their expressions fondly when the sun who regards their expressions fondly when the sun
suddenly returns. suddenly returns.

13 13
14 14

ONE SLEEVE DOES NOT ADMIT THE EXISTENCE OF ANY ONE SLEEVE DOES NOT ADMIT THE EXISTENCE OF ANY
TRUTH TRUTH

One Sleeve does not admit the existence of any truth. One Sleeve does not admit the existence of any truth.
Lies are real—inky, indelible—but truth is a hoax. Lies are real—inky, indelible—but truth is a hoax.

On a job application he writes that he dropped out of college, On a job application he writes that he dropped out of college,
left his last job without notice, left his last job without notice,

and stole yellow sticky pads from the supply cabinet. and stole yellow sticky pads from the supply cabinet.
In the inevitable interview, In the inevitable interview,

he is at a loss to explain himself. he is at a loss to explain himself.

I expose the lies, I expose the lies,

but the truth is a rush but the truth is a rush

and I fall over backward in my chair. and I fall over backward in my chair.

14 14
 15 15

I BELIEVE IN GHOSTS I BELIEVE IN GHOSTS

I believe in ghosts, I believe in ghosts,

souls eternally feeding on dry toast for breakfast. souls eternally feeding on dry toast for breakfast.

They pour coffee. They pour coffee.

Watch TV. Watch TV.

Munch toast. Munch toast.

One Sleeve believes in ghosts One Sleeve believes in ghosts

who can’t remember their unfinished business, who can’t remember their unfinished business,
why they are punished. why they are punished.

He moves the salt and pepper shakers like chessmen. He moves the salt and pepper shakers like chessmen.
Tapping on the checkered tablecloth, Tapping on the checkered tablecloth,

the salt is a white knight cantering two squares forward, the salt is a white knight cantering two squares forward,
one right. one right.

The pepper is a bishop floating diagonally across the table The pepper is a bishop floating diagonally across the table
as far as the arm can reach. as far as the arm can reach.

One Sleeve has all day for this. One Sleeve has all day for this.
I bite my toast in shame. I bite my toast in shame.

15 15
16 16

ONE SLEEVE KNOWS PI TO ONE HUNDRED DIGITS ONE SLEEVE KNOWS PI TO ONE HUNDRED DIGITS

One Sleeve knows pi to one hundred digits One Sleeve knows pi to one hundred digits
and recites them in the morning and recites them in the morning

like the Pledge of Allegiance. like the Pledge of Allegiance.

I brush my teeth endlessly. I brush my teeth endlessly.

Spattering foam onto the mirror, Spattering foam onto the mirror,
I count stars in the milky constellations. I count stars in the milky constellations.

I count the row of border tiles on the wall. I count the row of border tiles on the wall.
I think of parked cars on my street. I think of parked cars on my street.

I count the shower curtain rings I count the shower curtain rings
and think of satellite dishes across the rooftops. and think of satellite dishes across the rooftops.

Standing too long, head cocked Standing too long, head cocked
like a dog listening to music, like a dog listening to music,

I bend over the sink to shave, I bend over the sink to shave,
spine twinging in resistance, spine twinging in resistance,

and scrape the razor upward on my neck and scrape the razor upward on my neck
in a rude gesture. in a rude gesture.

I rinse my face with hot water I rinse my face with hot water
and think of seashells in white sand. and think of seashells in white sand.

One Sleeve recites pi rapidly. One Sleeve recites pi rapidly.

I comb my hair in three strokes. I comb my hair in three strokes.

16 16
 17 17

ONE SLEEVE LIMPS UNDER THE WEIGHT OF BEING ONE SLEEVE LIMPS UNDER THE WEIGHT OF BEING

One Sleeve limps under the weight of being. One Sleeve limps under the weight of being.
Two heavy grocery sacks Two heavy grocery sacks

pull his arms toward the pavement, pull his arms toward the pavement,
his chin straining upward. his chin straining upward.

His knees trembled in the produce section His knees trembled in the produce section
among the misted apples and wet lettuce heads, among the misted apples and wet lettuce heads,

and he touched everything—onion skin, tangerine, and he touched everything—onion skin, tangerine,
splintery wooden crate, silvery hanging scale. splintery wooden crate, silvery hanging scale.

Two full sacks, six blocks home, Two full sacks, six blocks home,
his arms tremble with knowledge, the flesh crushed, his arms tremble with knowledge, the flesh crushed,

and cramps climb up and down his legs like heavy-clawed and cramps climb up and down his legs like heavy-clawed
lizards. lizards.
Unsteadily Unsteadily

he unlocks the apartment door. he unlocks the apartment door.

I am ill. I am ill.

17 17
18 18

I SWELTER IN A FEVER OF DECAY I SWELTER IN A FEVER OF DECAY

I swelter in a fever of decay. I swelter in a fever of decay.

The molecules of me hold hands bravely. The molecules of me hold hands bravely.

One Sleeve has the strength of an ape. One Sleeve has the strength of an ape.
His hot breath smells of tea and sugar. His hot breath smells of tea and sugar.

I am dry. I am dry.
The bed fills with sloughed off skin. The bed fills with sloughed off skin.

Loose hairs curl in my eye sockets. Loose hairs curl in my eye sockets.
I remember hot summers mowing lawns. I remember hot summers mowing lawns.

I sweat through the sheets, through the mattress, I sweat through the sheets, through the mattress,
melting like a candy bar. melting like a candy bar.

This is how I want to die, This is how I want to die,

like a bouillon cube dissolving in hot water, like a bouillon cube dissolving in hot water,

my body sinking in a warm lake. my body sinking in a warm lake.

Fading into sleep, dream, Fading into sleep, dream,

erotic pleasures and terrors, erotic pleasures and terrors,

One Sleeve sweats like a concrete wall. One Sleeve sweats like a concrete wall.

18 18
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ONE SLEEVE IS NOT AFRAID OF DEATH ONE SLEEVE IS NOT AFRAID OF DEATH

One Sleeve is not afraid of death. One Sleeve is not afraid of death.
It’s the state of nonbeing after death It’s the state of nonbeing after death

that troubles him. that troubles him.

One Sleeve will miss having himself around. One Sleeve will miss having himself around.

I’m going to miss having Beethoven around, I’m going to miss having Beethoven around,
LP records, old piano scores, LP records, old piano scores,

the clok clok of the metronome, the clok clok of the metronome,
my hand twitching like a dead insect. my hand twitching like a dead insect.

My room too small for a piano, too quiet for music, My room too small for a piano, too quiet for music,
I no longer play. I no longer play.

And so the heart quits beating. And so the heart quits beating.
The blood stops flowing. The blood stops flowing.

The brain ceases to compute and command. The brain ceases to compute and command.
Without stimulus or impulse, Without stimulus or impulse,

the light of the mind scatters. the light of the mind scatters.
The sparks of the evening’s last firework fall. The sparks of the evening’s last firework fall.

In darkness lie memories in motionless pools, In darkness lie memories in motionless pools,
unremembered. unremembered.

The fingers stop twitching. The fingers stop twitching.

One Sleeve is afraid of this. One Sleeve is afraid of this.

19 19
20 20

I CONTEMPLATE SUICIDE THE WAY KIDS CONTEMPLATE I CONTEMPLATE SUICIDE THE WAY KIDS CONTEMPLATE
THE END OF SUMMER THE END OF SUMMER

I contemplate suicide the way kids contemplate the end of summer: I contemplate suicide the way kids contemplate the end of summer:
I count the days. I count the days.

Instead of riding a bicycle or swimming in the public pool, Instead of riding a bicycle or swimming in the public pool,
I eat green apples. I eat green apples.

I collect acorn caps in my cupped palm I collect acorn caps in my cupped palm
like alms. like alms.

There is not enough to save for the future. There is not enough to save for the future.
One Sleeve stands near the hot dog vendor. One Sleeve stands near the hot dog vendor.

Green paint peels from the park bench like a fungus. Green paint peels from the park bench like a fungus.
The park board do not answer his thistly letters. The park board do not answer his thistly letters.

The pigeons search nervously for hot dog crumbs. The pigeons search nervously for hot dog crumbs.
One Sleeve contemplates: This will end badly. One Sleeve contemplates: This will end badly.

20 20
 21 21

ONE SLEEVE FALLS IN LOVE GRADUALLY ONE SLEEVE FALLS IN LOVE GRADUALLY

One Sleeve falls in love gradually. One Sleeve falls in love gradually.
Cigarette butts accumulate on the pavement Cigarette butts accumulate on the pavement

around the base of the trash can around the base of the trash can
like caterpillars marching to and fro, like caterpillars marching to and fro,

gathering steadily gathering steadily

until it’s obvious: One Sleeve is in love with a bicycle taxi, until it’s obvious: One Sleeve is in love with a bicycle taxi,

the girl pedaling, the girl pedaling,

her beautiful strong arms welded to the handlebars, her beautiful strong arms welded to the handlebars,

and the contraption itself, and the contraption itself,

the bicycle chain a black slick greasy love-chain. the bicycle chain a black slick greasy love-chain.

One Sleeve flicks his cigarette into the air. One Sleeve flicks his cigarette into the air.
The chain pulls him forward. The chain pulls him forward.

I hold back I hold back

and scrounge the ground for a smokable butt. and scrounge the ground for a smokable butt.

21 21
22 22

THE ART MUSEUM IS A TOMB OF GOOD INTENTIONS THE ART MUSEUM IS A TOMB OF GOOD INTENTIONS

The art museum is a tomb of good intentions The art museum is a tomb of good intentions
and flawless air. and flawless air.

One Sleeve walks fast through the galleries, One Sleeve walks fast through the galleries,
his hair fluttering behind him like two little bird wings. his hair fluttering behind him like two little bird wings.

He gropes feasts with his nose, He gropes feasts with his nose,
slips on sidewalks with his eyes. slips on sidewalks with his eyes.

There are no sounds but the tapping of feet. There are no sounds but the tapping of feet.
I stand, slack, I stand, slack,

and stare at the wall. and stare at the wall.

How easy for a madman with a razor How easy for a madman with a razor

to approach a canvas, to approach a canvas,

to slice across a wrist, to slice across a wrist,

the man, blinking, the man, blinking,

suddenly exquisite and precious suddenly exquisite and precious

like a painted image of a man. like a painted image of a man.

My love is wasted here. My love is wasted here.

22 22
 23 23

I HIDE IN THE BOILER ROOM WHEN THE TELEPHONE RINGS I HIDE IN THE BOILER ROOM WHEN THE TELEPHONE RINGS

I hide in the boiler room when the telephone rings I hide in the boiler room when the telephone rings
and hunch like a pin-cushion cat and hunch like a pin-cushion cat

among the ventilation ducts, hot water pipes, old wiring, among the ventilation ducts, hot water pipes, old wiring,
a slowly turning fan, a slowly turning fan,

the building infused from its roots the building infused from its roots
with heavy pulses of power with heavy pulses of power

drawn from the earth itself, drawn from the earth itself,
the dark, wet clay ready to take back what we borrowed the dark, wet clay ready to take back what we borrowed

and the bedrock below it and the bedrock below it

cracking open in the ooze cracking open in the ooze

to suck down the frightened soul. to suck down the frightened soul.
The phone rings. The phone rings.

One Sleeve answers but does not speak. One Sleeve answers but does not speak.
He listens, He listens,

hiding his breath, hiding his breath,

until the voice exhausts its curiosity until the voice exhausts its curiosity

and follows its hunger elsewhere. and follows its hunger elsewhere.
An electric click signals all-clear. An electric click signals all-clear.

I loosen my shoulders I loosen my shoulders

and lick the spoon I was holding. and lick the spoon I was holding.

23 23
24 24

ONE SLEEVE LIKES HIS EGG SALAD SANDWICH WITHOUT ONE SLEEVE LIKES HIS EGG SALAD SANDWICH WITHOUT
EGG EGG

One Sleeve likes his egg salad sandwich without egg. One Sleeve likes his egg salad sandwich without egg.
He denies the existence of egg in egg salad. He denies the existence of egg in egg salad.

I unfold my wrapped lunch deep in the park on a cool day I unfold my wrapped lunch deep in the park on a cool day
by a spurting fountain of nymphs and monsters, by a spurting fountain of nymphs and monsters,

a troupe of school children dipping their hands, a troupe of school children dipping their hands,
not old enough to see the coins not old enough to see the coins

glinting in clear, sunny water for everyone to see. glinting in clear, sunny water for everyone to see.
Everything must have a soul Everything must have a soul

though not always silver though not always silver

or delicious. or delicious.

And what is that lumpy stuff And what is that lumpy stuff
floating on its cloud of white bread floating on its cloud of white bread

if not the very quintessence of egg salad? if not the very quintessence of egg salad?
One Sleeve will starve without a soul. One Sleeve will starve without a soul.

24 24
 25 25

I HOPE TO SEE MY FATHER IN THE AFTERLIFE I HOPE TO SEE MY FATHER IN THE AFTERLIFE

I hope to see my father in the afterlife, I hope to see my father in the afterlife,
not that he’ll speak to me. not that he’ll speak to me.

Talking with him was like playing ping pong in the wind, Talking with him was like playing ping pong in the wind,
not that he’ll acknowledge me now. not that he’ll acknowledge me now.

I think of him as scraps of bark and leaf in the sandy soil. I think of him as scraps of bark and leaf in the sandy soil.
Those were his textures in life. Those were his textures in life.

One Sleeve tamps down the dirt with his foot. One Sleeve tamps down the dirt with his foot.
My urge is to kneel My urge is to kneel

and try to converse with the gravestone. and try to converse with the gravestone.
One Sleeve is bored. One Sleeve is bored.

His eyes wander away. His eyes wander away.

The wind lifts his hair. The wind lifts his hair.

25 25
26 26

ONE SLEEVE CAN’T IMAGINE AN AFTERLIFE ONE SLEEVE CAN’T IMAGINE AN AFTERLIFE

One Sleeve can’t imagine an afterlife. One Sleeve can’t imagine an afterlife.
He imagines sitting in a folding chair He imagines sitting in a folding chair

on the barren rooftop of his apartment building on the barren rooftop of his apartment building
among the vents and chimneys and broken glass, among the vents and chimneys and broken glass,

all the other rooftops deserted all the other rooftops deserted
except for the backs of billboards. except for the backs of billboards.

The glaring sunset is for One Sleeve alone. The glaring sunset is for One Sleeve alone.
He is conscious of his retinas burning. He is conscious of his retinas burning.

Take away consciousness Take away consciousness

and the whole scene is deleted. and the whole scene is deleted.

I open my eyes in a dark room. I open my eyes in a dark room.

My bed smells of lavender and wood smoke. My bed smells of lavender and wood smoke.

The ceiling is a deep lake, The ceiling is a deep lake,

its waters lapping the walls, its waters lapping the walls,

the fogged window a cloudbank the fogged window a cloudbank

muting the machinery of the outside world. muting the machinery of the outside world.

I imagine the afterlife will be like this one, I imagine the afterlife will be like this one,
all too conscious and familiar, all too conscious and familiar,

and no second death and no second death

but a long night lying awake. but a long night lying awake.

26 26
 27 27

ONE SLEEVE THINKS THE GROUND OF BEING IS FARCICAL ONE SLEEVE THINKS THE GROUND OF BEING IS FARCICAL

One Sleeve thinks the ground of being is farcical, One Sleeve thinks the ground of being is farcical,
like visiting a cemetery where no one is buried. like visiting a cemetery where no one is buried.

I see the ground of being as a dark soil I see the ground of being as a dark soil
littered with hair, eyeballs, a broken sandal, a lost watch, littered with hair, eyeballs, a broken sandal, a lost watch,

the frayed, decomposing fabric of the self, the frayed, decomposing fabric of the self,
in time, nothing but dark soil. in time, nothing but dark soil.

The process is gradual, seasonal, natural, bloom and decay, The process is gradual, seasonal, natural, bloom and decay,
without consolation or joy. without consolation or joy.

One Sleeve is exultant! One Sleeve is exultant!

The ground of being is a sham. The ground of being is a sham.

No one grieves in the cemetery No one grieves in the cemetery

but a fool. but a fool.

27 27
28 28

ONE SLEEVE’S CERTAINTY IS ABSOLUTE, A SILK POCKET ONE SLEEVE’S CERTAINTY IS ABSOLUTE, A SILK POCKET
SQUARE SQUARE

One Sleeve’s certainty is absolute, a silk pocket square One Sleeve’s certainty is absolute, a silk pocket square
neatly folded. neatly folded.

Not sure if I recognize the coffee shop, Not sure if I recognize the coffee shop,
I step up to the counter I step up to the counter

solemnly, solemnly,
like it’s an open casket. like it’s an open casket.

My lips open, My lips open,

but I have corpse-mouth. but I have corpse-mouth.

I look everywhere for my tongue, I look everywhere for my tongue,

frowning. frowning.

I try to order telepathically, I try to order telepathically,

frowning a beam of dark roast thought-waves with room for cream frowning a beam of dark roast thought-waves with room for cream

and a little desire… and a little desire…

The spiky barista sings Hi the usual? The spiky barista sings Hi the usual?

Her voice is a bright light: It makes my eyes flutter Her voice is a bright light: It makes my eyes flutter
in delighted, consternated affirmation. in delighted, consternated affirmation.

One Sleeve is glib, One Sleeve is glib,

his fingers busy with bills and coins, his fingers busy with bills and coins,

but desperate, but desperate,

skin crawling with impatience, sticky nakedness. skin crawling with impatience, sticky nakedness.

He wants exact change. He wants exact change.

There will be no tip. There will be no tip.

28 28
 29 29

ONE SLEEVE REMEMBERS HIS FRIEND IN COLLEGE ONE SLEEVE REMEMBERS HIS FRIEND IN COLLEGE

One Sleeve remembers his friend in college. One Sleeve remembers his friend in college.
He was beautiful and religious—like other boys. He was beautiful and religious—like other boys.
One Sleeve remembers him in a medieval quadrangle. One Sleeve remembers him in a medieval quadrangle.
In those days no one quite smiled In those days no one quite smiled
except with their eyes, cast upward, except with their eyes, cast upward,
under quirky monastic haircuts. under quirky monastic haircuts.
It was so many centuries ago It was so many centuries ago
no one has survived no one has survived
but in memory. but in memory.
I haven’t changed a bit. I haven’t changed a bit.
I stand in the arched tunnel of matriculation and attrition, I stand in the arched tunnel of matriculation and attrition,
drawn to neither light. drawn to neither light.
The ceiling drips rainwater The ceiling drips rainwater
of an ancient April shower. of an ancient April shower.
One Sleeve no longer loves the Ancients, the Fathers, the One Sleeve no longer loves the Ancients, the Fathers, the
Doctors, Doctors,
asleep in their libraries and labyrinths, asleep in their libraries and labyrinths,
and wanders the grounds and wanders the grounds
as a stranger. as a stranger.
He crosses parking lots and footpaths, courtyards and lawns, He crosses parking lots and footpaths, courtyards and lawns,
to the mound where an old tree stood, to the mound where an old tree stood,
and memory, palimpsestic at best, and memory, palimpsestic at best,
a curled, burnt, blurred parchment, a curled, burnt, blurred parchment,
at worst a soap bubble reflecting the present, at worst a soap bubble reflecting the present,
reflects his friend, reflects his friend,
recreates the beautiful, smiling boy recreates the beautiful, smiling boy
in a stranger. in a stranger.
One Sleeve wants to say hello One Sleeve wants to say hello
to the unapproachable, the damnable, the thin air. to the unapproachable, the damnable, the thin air.

29 29
30 30

GOD’S UNIVERSE EXPLODES IN THE PLANETARIUM GOD’S UNIVERSE EXPLODES IN THE PLANETARIUM

God’s universe explodes in the planetarium God’s universe explodes in the planetarium
in a frightening burst of light and rumbling, in a frightening burst of light and rumbling,

then expands quietly. then expands quietly.

I am at peace: Hushed and expectant, I am at peace: Hushed and expectant,

I sit out my life I sit out my life

appreciating the fluke of carbon appreciating the fluke of carbon

and other atoms lucky to be alive. and other atoms lucky to be alive.
Earth twinkles and blinks out. Earth twinkles and blinks out.

The synthesized music swells and spirals into the future The synthesized music swells and spirals into the future
which darkens which darkens

and falls to silence. and falls to silence.

Outside in the daylight, I blink and gape. Outside in the daylight, I blink and gape.

Rushing pedestrians bump my shoulders, Rushing pedestrians bump my shoulders,

turn me around. turn me around.

Tunnels feed the obese metropolis. Tunnels feed the obese metropolis.
The boulevards convulse with cab traffic. The boulevards convulse with cab traffic.

Nothing stands in mute testament Nothing stands in mute testament

except One Sleeve. except One Sleeve.

The city is soft, the asphalt supple in the sun. The city is soft, the asphalt supple in the sun.
One Sleeve bites a peach with tender suction. One Sleeve bites a peach with tender suction.

30 30
 31 31

ONE SLEEVE BELIEVES IN EVOLUTION ONE SLEEVE BELIEVES IN EVOLUTION

One Sleeve believes in evolution. One Sleeve believes in evolution.

It’s degrading but true. It’s degrading but true.

In a corner diner, In a corner diner,

all yellow formica filthy with age, all yellow formica filthy with age,

I eat salty french fries I eat salty french fries

while it rains. while it rains.

Holding my cheeseburger to the left of my head Holding my cheeseburger to the left of my head
like a violin, like a violin,

I chomp ketchupy french fries three at a time, I chomp ketchupy french fries three at a time,
grinding them up like body parts in a wood chipper. grinding them up like body parts in a wood chipper.

This is what it’s come to. This is what it’s come to.
One Sleeve is disgusted. One Sleeve is disgusted.

He slides to the deep end of the booth, He slides to the deep end of the booth,
pulls one foot into his lap and cradles it. pulls one foot into his lap and cradles it.

The rain falls. The rain falls.

The forest is quiet. The forest is quiet.

One Sleeve picks bits of sand from the pocked leather sole One Sleeve picks bits of sand from the pocked leather sole
of his shoe. of his shoe.
He tastes one. He tastes one.

31 31
32 32

I BORROW A WHITE SHIRT, BORROW BUTTONS I BORROW A WHITE SHIRT, BORROW BUTTONS

I borrow a white shirt, borrow buttons. I borrow a white shirt, borrow buttons.
I borrow eyesight to find my way out of the house. I borrow eyesight to find my way out of the house.

Out on the street I borrow bricks, glass, gritty scaffolding. Out on the street I borrow bricks, glass, gritty scaffolding.
I borrow air—one breath at a time. I borrow air—one breath at a time.

In the old department store, built like a palace, In the old department store, built like a palace,
One Sleeve walks briskly to the back One Sleeve walks briskly to the back

and browsing in fields of lavender, lilac, and fleurs-de-lis and browsing in fields of lavender, lilac, and fleurs-de-lis
selects a necktie. selects a necktie.

At the checkout counter, I borrow conversation, At the checkout counter, I borrow conversation,
eavesdropping on a purchase of cufflinks, a purchase of socks. eavesdropping on a purchase of cufflinks, a purchase of socks.

One Sleeve marks the credit card slip, One Sleeve marks the credit card slip,
his signature an elegant discharge of purple ink. his signature an elegant discharge of purple ink.

I borrow fingers to feel my way out of the store. I borrow fingers to feel my way out of the store.
I borrow sunshine and shadow, I borrow sunshine and shadow,

brown shoes— brown shoes—

I borrow quick happiness for the walk home. I borrow quick happiness for the walk home.

32 32
 33 33

ONE SLEEVE CONSIDERS SPEECH A VALIDATION OF THE ONE SLEEVE CONSIDERS SPEECH A VALIDATION OF THE
IRRELEVANT IRRELEVANT

One Sleeve considers speech a validation of the irrelevant. One Sleeve considers speech a validation of the irrelevant.
I nibble my tongue. I nibble my tongue.

He litters: Scraps of paper float on the duck pond— He litters: Scraps of paper float on the duck pond—
paper cups, whole newspaper pages. paper cups, whole newspaper pages.

A burger wrapper sails sedately through the scum A burger wrapper sails sedately through the scum
like a schooner returning to port. like a schooner returning to port.

The breeze pushes against One Sleeve. The breeze pushes against One Sleeve.
Tourists ask him directions, the time, the name of the lake, Tourists ask him directions, the time, the name of the lake,

but he walks in the mind’s depraved precincts but he walks in the mind’s depraved precincts
and does not answer. and does not answer.

Trash swirls around his feet, Trash swirls around his feet,
returning to him. returning to him.

I try to warn people away I try to warn people away

with round eyes and shaking head. with round eyes and shaking head.

33 33
34 34

ONE SLEEVE IS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO BELIEVE ONE SLEEVE IS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO BELIEVE

One Sleeve is looking for something to believe. One Sleeve is looking for something to believe.
I’m looking for my keys I’m looking for my keys

in the cookie jar. Flower pot. Sock drawer. Toilet tank. in the cookie jar. Flower pot. Sock drawer. Toilet tank.
Oven. Cupboard. Coffee pot. Pocket, pocket, pocket, pocket. Oven. Cupboard. Coffee pot. Pocket, pocket, pocket, pocket.

One Sleeve flips through books, One Sleeve flips through books,
looking in all the old places looking in all the old places

marked enigmatically marked enigmatically

with yellow highlighting, marginalia in a tiny script, with yellow highlighting, marginalia in a tiny script,

question marks, question marks,

stars. stars.

He stops to inspect a sentence, touching it He stops to inspect a sentence, touching it

almost tenderly, almost tenderly,

sometimes sometimes
runs his finger down the cleavage between pages. runs his finger down the cleavage between pages.

34 34
 35 35

THE ELEPHANT HIDES BEHIND HER LONG, SHY EYELASHES THE ELEPHANT HIDES BEHIND HER LONG, SHY EYELASHES

The elephant hides behind her long, shy eyelashes. The elephant hides behind her long, shy eyelashes.
One Sleeve is in love and can’t stop looking at her. One Sleeve is in love and can’t stop looking at her.

I like the zoo because it exhibits only the obvious. I like the zoo because it exhibits only the obvious.
The giraffe is self-explanatory. The giraffe is self-explanatory.

One Sleeve is a glutton. One Sleeve is a glutton.

Never satisfied with an explanation, Never satisfied with an explanation,

he wants three scoops of ice cream stacked on a cone, he wants three scoops of ice cream stacked on a cone,
all chocolate. all chocolate.

He licks methodically: around, up. He licks methodically: around, up.

I lick the side of my hand. I lick the side of my hand.

35 35
36 36

MY BELIEFS WALK WITH A SLIGHT LIMP MY BELIEFS WALK WITH A SLIGHT LIMP

My beliefs walk with a slight limp. My beliefs walk with a slight limp.
People who believe in cures People who believe in cures

enter the 5k charity run. enter the 5k charity run.

Imagination, the new faith, heals the crippled Imagination, the new faith, heals the crippled

and diseased. and diseased.

I hobble I hobble

with stern dignity, with stern dignity,

gathering adulation along the race route. gathering adulation along the race route.

I believe in the paper number, the free T-shirt, I believe in the paper number, the free T-shirt,
camaraderie, joggers against death. camaraderie, joggers against death.

I believe in pouring a cup of water on my head. I believe in pouring a cup of water on my head.
One Sleeve winks. One Sleeve winks.

Irony is the new certainty. Irony is the new certainty.

I cross the finish line with tears streaming down my face. I cross the finish line with tears streaming down my face.

36 36
 37 37

ONE SLEEVE STANDS IN FRONT OF THE CATHEDRAL ONE SLEEVE STANDS IN FRONT OF THE CATHEDRAL
LOOKING UP LOOKING UP

One Sleeve stands in front of the cathedral looking up. One Sleeve stands in front of the cathedral looking up.
The structure is not big enough for his ego. The structure is not big enough for his ego.

Some out-of-towners mount the steps, tentative, Some out-of-towners mount the steps, tentative,
and tumble back, and tumble back,

awed. awed.
Their egos are too small. Their egos are too small.

I like to have lunch in the sun. I like to have lunch in the sun.
The vast staircase is like a mountain face. The vast staircase is like a mountain face.

I perch on the cool stone, elbows on knees, I perch on the cool stone, elbows on knees,
holding a baloney and American cheese sandwich in both hands holding a baloney and American cheese sandwich in both hands

like a harmonica. like a harmonica.

The out-of-towners pause to listen. The out-of-towners pause to listen.

A bubbling stream of foot traffic flows on the sidewalk A bubbling stream of foot traffic flows on the sidewalk
below. below.
One Sleeve admires the view from here, One Sleeve admires the view from here,

a middle-world of suspended belief, a middle-world of suspended belief,

and suddenly the out-of-towners know they are trapped. and suddenly the out-of-towners know they are trapped.

They huddle, searching each other’s faces. They huddle, searching each other’s faces.
One Sleeve stands and points to their tour bus down the block. One Sleeve stands and points to their tour bus down the block.

37 37
38 38

I FORESEE THE SQUALOR OF MY OLD AGE I FORESEE THE SQUALOR OF MY OLD AGE

I foresee the squalor of my old age, I foresee the squalor of my old age,
newspapers, urine, newspapers, urine,

towels piled under the bathroom sink, towels piled under the bathroom sink,
the kitchen packed like a junk shop. the kitchen packed like a junk shop.

One Sleeve’s mind is settled, One Sleeve’s mind is settled,

like a shelf of folded sweaters. like a shelf of folded sweaters.

He will not permit any aesthetic misstep. He will not permit any aesthetic misstep.
I see a plate of dried up noodles covered in red fungus. I see a plate of dried up noodles covered in red fungus.

One Sleeve meditates on the blank TV screen. One Sleeve meditates on the blank TV screen.
Sun tea brews on the brick windowsill. Sun tea brews on the brick windowsill.

38 38
 39 39

TIME INFURIATES ONE SLEEVE TIME INFURIATES ONE SLEEVE

Time infuriates One Sleeve. Time infuriates One Sleeve.

His long, beautiful, devastated hair His long, beautiful, devastated hair

stripped, perplexed in the wind, stripped, perplexed in the wind,

he submits to a trim. he submits to a trim.

One Sleeve puts all his trust in the stylist One Sleeve puts all his trust in the stylist
and so despises him. and so despises him.

It is impossible to think in the swirling salon. It is impossible to think in the swirling salon.
There is too much touching— There is too much touching—

everyone talking. everyone talking.

Insipid snippets, speech clippings, Insipid snippets, speech clippings,

word-hairs slip down his neck, word-hairs slip down his neck,
ticklish, like bees crawling on the flesh, ticklish, like bees crawling on the flesh,

but One Sleeve does not touch the itch. but One Sleeve does not touch the itch.
He submits to the ritual. He submits to the ritual.

Under the cape, Under the cape,

I clench my hands together in a fist of prayer. I clench my hands together in a fist of prayer.

39 39
40 40

AT THE ALL-DAY CONCERT IN THE PARK AT THE ALL-DAY CONCERT IN THE PARK

At the all-day concert in the park At the all-day concert in the park
One Sleeve recognizes only strangers on the great lawn One Sleeve recognizes only strangers on the great lawn

and greets them one by one and greets them one by one
with a lopsided nod. with a lopsided nod.

I keep moving, concerned someone might speak to me, I keep moving, concerned someone might speak to me,
though I saunter. though I saunter.

A youth orchestra drones “Louie, Louie” and “Tequila,” A youth orchestra drones “Louie, Louie” and “Tequila,”
and a local artist belts out her twangy ballads. and a local artist belts out her twangy ballads.

As night falls, lasers crisscross the crowd As night falls, lasers crisscross the crowd
and a techno group plays a jaw-popping “Helter Skelter.” and a techno group plays a jaw-popping “Helter Skelter.”

Blackness covers the lawn. Blackness covers the lawn.

One Sleeve moves closer and closer to the bright stage, One Sleeve moves closer and closer to the bright stage,

the source of being, the source of being,

the island from which all the chaos of life erupts, the island from which all the chaos of life erupts,

falls on the dancing thousands, falls on the dancing thousands,

flows through the gridwork of streets, flows through the gridwork of streets,

settles into the familiar patterns settles into the familiar patterns
that so confound the little mind that so confound the little mind

returning to his apartment returning to his apartment

to make dinner. to make dinner.

40 40
 41 41

I WORK THROUGH MY NIGHTLY EQUATIONS QUICKLY I WORK THROUGH MY NIGHTLY EQUATIONS QUICKLY

I work through my nightly equations quickly, I work through my nightly equations quickly,
a hairy cat full of electricity, a hairy cat full of electricity,

seated on the edge of the bed, seated on the edge of the bed,
twitching, tensing. twitching, tensing.

Done, Done,
I don’t spring away I don’t spring away

but blink slowly, but blink slowly,

once. once.

I love mathematics like a brother— I love mathematics like a brother—

protective, precise, protective, precise,

difficult, difficult,
always another problem. always another problem.

One Sleeve is a prickly calculus. One Sleeve is a prickly calculus.

He cannot be touched, He cannot be touched,

only thought. only thought.

A bony cat crosses the alley in the distance. A bony cat crosses the alley in the distance.

I do not blink all night I do not blink all night

but watch at the window alone. but watch at the window alone.

41 41
42 42

I WANT MY GOD BACK I WANT MY GOD BACK

I want my God back. I want my God back.

I want to pray again, but to whom? I want to pray again, but to whom?

One Sleeve is silent. One Sleeve is silent.

I say it out loud: I want my God back. I say it out loud: I want my God back.

I stand at center stage in the crumbling amphitheater, I stand at center stage in the crumbling amphitheater,
high noon, off season, empty of voices high noon, off season, empty of voices

but mine: I want my God back. but mine: I want my God back.
Pigeons flap sharply. Pigeons flap sharply.

I bite my lip. I bite my lip.

One Sleeve is thinking. One Sleeve is thinking.

42 42
 43 43

I WAS AN ENCHANTED CHILD I WAS AN ENCHANTED CHILD

I was an enchanted child. I was an enchanted child.

One Sleeve doesn’t believe in childhood. One Sleeve doesn’t believe in childhood.

As kids clamber onto the refurbished carousel, As kids clamber onto the refurbished carousel,
glossy pride of a derelict boardwalk, glossy pride of a derelict boardwalk,

I watch from a distance. I watch from a distance.

The machinery begins to move. The machinery begins to move.

A dazzled little boy riding a pale blue unicorn A dazzled little boy riding a pale blue unicorn
reaches around to grip the white horn reaches around to grip the white horn

at its base at its base

to feel the power of the magical beast. to feel the power of the magical beast.

All the animals are sexual— All the animals are sexual—
lion, elephant, swan, man. lion, elephant, swan, man.

One Sleeve refuses to believe. One Sleeve refuses to believe.

The tooting music drives him mad with memory. The tooting music drives him mad with memory.

43 43
44 44

THE MARATHONERS FILL THE AVENUE AT MILE TWELVE THE MARATHONERS FILL THE AVENUE AT MILE TWELVE

The marathoners fill the avenue at mile twelve, The marathoners fill the avenue at mile twelve,
rounding the corner like cockroaches spilling out of the cupboard. rounding the corner like cockroaches spilling out of the cupboard.

I look for my sister in the crowd. I look for my sister in the crowd.
One Sleeve doesn’t believe in sisters. One Sleeve doesn’t believe in sisters.

I study the runners as they lope past, I study the runners as they lope past,
their faces sunk deep in subcognition, their faces sunk deep in subcognition,

like the people of a bombed metropolis like the people of a bombed metropolis
who grieve who grieve

watching their city burn, watching their city burn,

artworks, the music hall, walk-up apartments, artworks, the music hall, walk-up apartments,

all of it, all of it,

whole families lost in the firestorm, whole families lost in the firestorm,

or separated and thought dead. or separated and thought dead.

One Sleeve’s face sinks in clear thought. One Sleeve’s face sinks in clear thought.

His sister dances in fire. His sister dances in fire.

He does not cry for help. He does not cry for help.

44 44
 45 45

ONE SLEEVE DOES NOT CRY FOR HELP ONE SLEEVE DOES NOT CRY FOR HELP

One Sleeve does not cry for help. One Sleeve does not cry for help.
He does not make lovers’ promises, He does not make lovers’ promises,

does not pray to feeble gods. does not pray to feeble gods.
I make butter and sugar on white bread I make butter and sugar on white bread

a secret communion. a secret communion.

I lift my glass of milk I lift my glass of milk

between hands folded in prayer, between hands folded in prayer,

although the words don’t come to me. although the words don’t come to me.

The kitchen is neat, the table clear, The kitchen is neat, the table clear,
smallest, quietest room. smallest, quietest room.

45 45
46 46

ONE SLEEVE TRIVIALIZES TIME ONE SLEEVE TRIVIALIZES TIME

One Sleeve trivializes time. One Sleeve trivializes time.

He treats the days like playthings— He treats the days like playthings—

Saturday, Tuesday—rearranging them indifferently, Saturday, Tuesday—rearranging them indifferently,

perversely, like switching spoons and forks on the tea table. perversely, like switching spoons and forks on the tea table.

He swims through months with a scissors in each hand, He swims through months with a scissors in each hand,
calendar pages frothing under his digging arms. calendar pages frothing under his digging arms.

He flings whole calendars spinning like galaxies across the room He flings whole calendars spinning like galaxies across the room
to smash apart against the wall to smash apart against the wall

and fall behind the couch. and fall behind the couch.
He throws bibles and epics against that wall. He throws bibles and epics against that wall.

Dinosaurs crawl out of his toy box full size. Dinosaurs crawl out of his toy box full size.
He dips a finger in green slime at the seashore. He dips a finger in green slime at the seashore.

A piece of lint on the carpet, A piece of lint on the carpet,

I am sucked instantly into the hand vac. I am sucked instantly into the hand vac.

That’s how fast it ends. That’s how fast it ends.

That’s how fast I want to die. That’s how fast I want to die.

46 46
 47 47

I FEEL HELPLESS IN A CAB I FEEL HELPLESS IN A CAB

I feel helpless in a cab. I feel helpless in a cab.

I give the driver an intersection, I give the driver an intersection,

one intersection like another. one intersection like another.

I get out in traffic I get out in traffic

and hail another cab. and hail another cab.

It takes a lot to get a cabbie to stop on a bridge. It takes a lot to get a cabbie to stop on a bridge.

I feel helpless standing on a bridge, dizzy above the river, I feel helpless standing on a bridge, dizzy above the river,
but not lost. but not lost.

Back in the city, behind the wall of skyline, Back in the city, behind the wall of skyline,
One Sleeve crouches in hiding. One Sleeve crouches in hiding.

47 47
48 48

THE LIGHTS STAY UP IN THE CONCERT HALL THE LIGHTS STAY UP IN THE CONCERT HALL

The lights stay up in the concert hall. The lights stay up in the concert hall.
The amber woodwork behind the orchestra The amber woodwork behind the orchestra

and the worn wooden floor and the worn wooden floor
reverberate with light. reverberate with light.

The boards thicken The boards thicken

and grow heavy with light. and grow heavy with light.

Verdi’s Requiem startles, choir lashing out angrily, Verdi’s Requiem startles, choir lashing out angrily,
and I am fully exposed, and I am fully exposed,

centered, eighteen rows back, twenty-one in, centered, eighteen rows back, twenty-one in,
and surrounded. and surrounded.

Like a convict strapped into his chair, Like a convict strapped into his chair,
I grip the wooden arms, I grip the wooden arms,

unready for my sentence, unready for my sentence,

unready for the chamber full of heavy light, unready for the chamber full of heavy light,

wanting only a few more minutes to think, wanting only a few more minutes to think,
a few calm moments. a few calm moments.

One Sleeve needs to think. One Sleeve needs to think.

But the music rushes forward through anger, tears, grief, But the music rushes forward through anger, tears, grief,

disaster upon disaster, disaster upon disaster,

and as the visible world begins to swirl and sicken him, and as the visible world begins to swirl and sicken him,

One Sleeve stands. One Sleeve stands.

He steps on feet, pushes against knees: But he cannot get out. He steps on feet, pushes against knees: But he cannot get out.

48 48
 49 49

ONE SLEEVE NEEDS TO THINK ONE SLEEVE NEEDS TO THINK

One Sleeve needs to think. One Sleeve needs to think.

He contemplates the monster in the closet. He contemplates the monster in the closet.

I pull up the bed covers. I pull up the bed covers.

Monsters can’t get through bed covers. Monsters can’t get through bed covers.

Only the exposed face is vulnerable Only the exposed face is vulnerable
and must remain vigilant. and must remain vigilant.

The closet door swings smoothly, opening imperceptibly The closet door swings smoothly, opening imperceptibly
as the building breathes. as the building breathes.

In the crack of darkness, In the crack of darkness,

invisible shirts hang with slumped shoulders, invisible shirts hang with slumped shoulders,

belts like entrails. belts like entrails.

Piled on the floor, smooth shoes jostle soundlessly, like snails. Piled on the floor, smooth shoes jostle soundlessly, like snails.

Maybe all my beliefs are imaginary. Maybe all my beliefs are imaginary.
One Sleeve contemplates the monster One Sleeve contemplates the monster

and gets no sleep and gets no sleep

in his bed of maggots and visions. in his bed of maggots and visions.

49 49
50 50

ONE SLEEVE LOSES HIS BALANCE STANDING NEXT TO A HORSE ONE SLEEVE LOSES HIS BALANCE STANDING NEXT TO A HORSE

One Sleeve loses his balance standing next to a horse. One Sleeve loses his balance standing next to a horse.
There is no hope of surviving the carriage. There is no hope of surviving the carriage.

Rolling, the wheels grind against the pavement. Rolling, the wheels grind against the pavement.
One Sleeve hears the grinding wheels of the universe. One Sleeve hears the grinding wheels of the universe.

The driver points out the fountain of pure waters, The driver points out the fountain of pure waters,
the green meadow, the green meadow,

yet nothing is green or pure yet nothing is green or pure

but reeks of horse shit. but reeks of horse shit.

One Sleeve sniffs the shit of the world. One Sleeve sniffs the shit of the world.
The driver announces the end The driver announces the end

profoundly, profoundly,
his brogue incontrovertible. his brogue incontrovertible.

One Sleeve climbs down on legs of plaster and peanut butter. One Sleeve climbs down on legs of plaster and peanut butter.
I am nowhere to be found. I am nowhere to be found.

50 50
 51 51

I LOOK DOWN THE SUBWAY STAIR IN THE RAIN I LOOK DOWN THE SUBWAY STAIR IN THE RAIN

I look down the subway stair in the rain. I look down the subway stair in the rain.
The underworld fills with people The underworld fills with people

escaping the rain. escaping the rain.

One Sleeve mocks the symbolism, One Sleeve mocks the symbolism,

as though there were two realities, as though there were two realities,
one the shadow of the other. one the shadow of the other.

When the sun breaks through, When the sun breaks through,
I go down the stairs, I go down the stairs,

my shadow stepping daintily beside me, my shadow stepping daintily beside me,
its long arm reaching for the handrail. its long arm reaching for the handrail.

There is only one way to avoid the symbolism There is only one way to avoid the symbolism
and the mockery. and the mockery.

Go down under ground where only shadows go. Go down under ground where only shadows go.
One Sleeve’s fingers slide along the handrail One Sleeve’s fingers slide along the handrail

unable to grip it. unable to grip it.

He is sorry to go this way. He is sorry to go this way.

51 51
52 52

ONE SLEEVE’S CURIOSITY BOILS IN A POT ONE SLEEVE’S CURIOSITY BOILS IN A POT

One Sleeve’s curiosity boils in a pot. One Sleeve’s curiosity boils in a pot.
It is a thin, ferocious soup. It is a thin, ferocious soup.

He glares out the kitchen window He glares out the kitchen window
at the brick wall across the alley. at the brick wall across the alley.

Gusts of steam and dust circulate upward in the alley canyon. Gusts of steam and dust circulate upward in the alley canyon.
The city leaks. The city leaks.

I’m always hungry, I’m always hungry,

not for food exactly— not for food exactly—

bacon, tomato, and a little mayonnaise on toast— bacon, tomato, and a little mayonnaise on toast—
but for the freshness of food, but for the freshness of food,

as though food were life-giving, as though food were life-giving,

uplifting. uplifting.

One Sleeve is impatient. One Sleeve is impatient.

He pulls a chair from the table and stands on it. He pulls a chair from the table and stands on it.

52 52
 53 53

THE EXPOSED DRAIN PIPE CROSSING THE KITCHEN CEILING THE EXPOSED DRAIN PIPE CROSSING THE KITCHEN CEILING

The exposed drain pipe crossing the kitchen ceiling The exposed drain pipe crossing the kitchen ceiling
bears my weight. bears my weight.

My arms too thin for pull-ups, My arms too thin for pull-ups,
I hang, knees raised, like a monkey, I hang, knees raised, like a monkey,

like a little boy in gym class like a little boy in gym class
who can’t pass the test. who can’t pass the test.

I will hang myself here I will hang myself here

when the time comes. when the time comes.

Dangling shoelaces or floppy bare feet, Dangling shoelaces or floppy bare feet,
all dressed up all dressed up

or completely naked— or completely naked—

there are issues to resolve first. there are issues to resolve first.

And there is always one more good day, And there is always one more good day,
although statistically rare, the calendar more X’s than O’s. although statistically rare, the calendar more X’s than O’s.

I lower my feet to the chair, step down to the floor, I lower my feet to the chair, step down to the floor,
sit. sit.

One Sleeve thinks about the park. One Sleeve thinks about the park.
He wants to see the kites again, He wants to see the kites again,

dragon, box, diamond, dragon, box, diamond,

bucking and veering in a blue sky seething with wind bucking and veering in a blue sky seething with wind

and string. and string.

I know how to build a kite out of newspaper and yardsticks. I know how to build a kite out of newspaper and yardsticks.

53 53
54 54

ONE SLEEVE STANDS ON A HOT TENNIS COURT, ONE SLEEVE STANDS ON A HOT TENNIS COURT,
EVAPORATING EVAPORATING

One Sleeve stands on a hot tennis court, evaporating. One Sleeve stands on a hot tennis court, evaporating.
The body mostly water, The body mostly water,

it is possible to feel death in action, it is possible to feel death in action,

limbs thinning, dripping, the torso shrinking like clay. limbs thinning, dripping, the torso shrinking like clay.

He mingles with the summer air. He mingles with the summer air.
I am unnerved, desperate, cracked, irresolute. I am unnerved, desperate, cracked, irresolute.

He lifts his face to the sun He lifts his face to the sun
and drifts home on puffs of air. and drifts home on puffs of air.

My sunburned head feels like a dried up kitchen sponge— hard, curled, My sunburned head feels like a dried up kitchen sponge— hard, curled,
dirty. dirty.

He lifts a glass of water to his lips. He lifts a glass of water to his lips.
My gut is hollow, like a shriveled gourd. My gut is hollow, like a shriveled gourd.

He is a fern garden fragrant and moist in the shade. He is a fern garden fragrant and moist in the shade.
I lie down in the shade. I lie down in the shade.

54 54
 55 55

ONE SLEEVE DOES NOT PLAN FOR RETIREMENT ONE SLEEVE DOES NOT PLAN FOR RETIREMENT

One Sleeve does not plan for retirement. One Sleeve does not plan for retirement.
He cannot stop thinking. He cannot stop thinking.

He has never owned a home. He has never owned a home.

He has not raised any children. He has not raised any children.

He lays no flowers on no stone He lays no flowers on no stone

and cannot stop thinking. and cannot stop thinking.

I buy candy in the drugstore, I buy candy in the drugstore,

crumbly chocolate and tart, fizzy tablets. crumbly chocolate and tart, fizzy tablets.

One Sleeve remembers his violin. One Sleeve remembers his violin.
He ought to practice. He ought to practice.

I remember candy cigarettes, I remember candy cigarettes,

the pavement a dalmatian skin of gum spots. the pavement a dalmatian skin of gum spots.

The hot sidewalk in summer is timeless. The hot sidewalk in summer is timeless.
Eating candy outside the drugstore Eating candy outside the drugstore

timeless, timeless,
One Sleeve’s thoughts melt on his lips. One Sleeve’s thoughts melt on his lips.

55 55
56 56

ONE SLEEVE’S MORNING ROUTINE IS EFFICIENT ONE SLEEVE’S MORNING ROUTINE IS EFFICIENT

One Sleeve’s morning routine is efficient. One Sleeve’s morning routine is efficient.
He does only what is necessary to survive. He does only what is necessary to survive.

My interest in survival grows less and less. My interest in survival grows less and less.
The bathroom mirror darkens year by year. The bathroom mirror darkens year by year.

Silvery, iridescent splotches Silvery, iridescent splotches

cover my face. cover my face.

I stretch the skin with both hands I stretch the skin with both hands
like smoothing a tablecloth. like smoothing a tablecloth.

I shave without enthusiasm. I shave without enthusiasm.

Looking in the mirror always means death. Looking in the mirror always means death.

56 56
 57 57

ONE SLEEVE REDECORATES FOR THE LAST TIME ONE SLEEVE REDECORATES FOR THE LAST TIME

One Sleeve redecorates for the last time. One Sleeve redecorates for the last time.
His devil’s-head has grown decrepit on its shelf. His devil’s-head has grown decrepit on its shelf.

He wears a wig of cobwebs, He wears a wig of cobwebs,

mouth dry as a wasp nest, cheeks hard as black fruit. mouth dry as a wasp nest, cheeks hard as black fruit.

Black hairs sprout all around the scaly neck Black hairs sprout all around the scaly neck
and seem to glisten. and seem to glisten.

His eyes still dash to and fro. His eyes still dash to and fro.
Scaffolding, paint-splattered boards, Scaffolding, paint-splattered boards,

a sun-filled window is the allure a sun-filled window is the allure

behind a hazy plastic tarp. behind a hazy plastic tarp.

One Sleeve paints the wall in long, dripping strokes One Sleeve paints the wall in long, dripping strokes
under a bare bulb. under a bare bulb.

Eyes sweeping back and forth, Eyes sweeping back and forth,
I must keep watch on the devil’s-head. I must keep watch on the devil’s-head.

57 57
58 58

I CAN’T AFFORD THE FULL PRICE OF AN OPERATIC DEATH I CAN’T AFFORD THE FULL PRICE OF AN OPERATIC DEATH

I can’t afford the full price of an operatic death. I can’t afford the full price of an operatic death.
I must die standing. I must die standing.

I want to watch the great baritone die I want to watch the great baritone die
imperiously imperiously

and descend into the fires of Hell, and descend into the fires of Hell,
red and yellow scarves licking his upraised arms. red and yellow scarves licking his upraised arms.

A lady from Hell argues at the ticket window. A lady from Hell argues at the ticket window.
She has been given the wrong death. She has been given the wrong death.

Sometimes I wait all afternoon, Sometimes I wait all afternoon,

watching ladies climb the carpeted steps watching ladies climb the carpeted steps

and descend. and descend.

All the men are tall. All the men are tall.

I admire those legendary lovers whose world is an unresolved chord I admire those legendary lovers whose world is an unresolved chord
except in death. except in death.

I also like the wayward girl, degraded, outcast, I also like the wayward girl, degraded, outcast,
who dies exquisitely on a velvet couch. who dies exquisitely on a velvet couch.

Sometimes I wait all afternoon in line, Sometimes I wait all afternoon in line,
spinning on my heel. spinning on my heel.

Sometimes there are no tickets Sometimes there are no tickets

and I go on living. and I go on living.

Today the lady from Hell turns around imperiously, Today the lady from Hell turns around imperiously,
and One Sleeve gapes at her in tongueless horror and One Sleeve gapes at her in tongueless horror

as she thrusts her tickets into his chest. as she thrusts her tickets into his chest.
I’m ready for this. I’m ready for this.

I’ll scalp one ticket I’ll scalp one ticket

and make love to the other. and make love to the other.
58 58
 59 59

DIRTY LAUNDRY DOES NOT ANGER ONE SLEEVE DIRTY LAUNDRY DOES NOT ANGER ONE SLEEVE

Dirty laundry does not anger One Sleeve. Dirty laundry does not anger One Sleeve.
Clean clothes do not calm him. Clean clothes do not calm him.

I swipe at flies in the laundromat. I swipe at flies in the laundromat.

I hate laundry flies. I hate laundry flies.

The industrial style washers drone like giant flies, The industrial style washers drone like giant flies,
and I hate them too. and I hate them too.

The bulging glass doors look like black eye-facets, The bulging glass doors look like black eye-facets,
and inside, the chaotic fly-mind tumbles endlessly. and inside, the chaotic fly-mind tumbles endlessly.

One Sleeve is calmed by the motion of thought. One Sleeve is calmed by the motion of thought.
I want to break the glass and let it spill out. I want to break the glass and let it spill out.

59 59
60 60

ONE SLEEVE GOES TO THE PARK FOR THE CRABAPPLE ONE SLEEVE GOES TO THE PARK FOR THE CRABAPPLE
BLOSSOMS BLOSSOMS

One Sleeve goes to the park for the crabapple blossoms. One Sleeve goes to the park for the crabapple blossoms.
I’m too tired to start another day. I’m too tired to start another day.

One Sleeve wants to know how wind and soil make crabapple One Sleeve wants to know how wind and soil make crabapple
blossoms. blossoms.
I lift my nose into the air. I lift my nose into the air.

He ponders rain for the millionth time, He ponders rain for the millionth time,
and a spate of drizzle speckles his glasses. and a spate of drizzle speckles his glasses.

I turn up my nose at all these questions. I turn up my nose at all these questions.
I think there is a better Heaven. I think there is a better Heaven.

He feels warm sun beyond the clouds, and stars beyond the sun. He feels warm sun beyond the clouds, and stars beyond the sun.
I see time and nothingness, painless eternity. I see time and nothingness, painless eternity.

He sits on a wet bench. He sits on a wet bench.

His shoes are wet. His shoes are wet.

I want to quit. I want to quit.

I want to go back to sleep. I want to go back to sleep.

He’s ready for a new day, even in the rain. He’s ready for a new day, even in the rain.
I am resigned to a bad end, especially in the rain. I am resigned to a bad end, especially in the rain.

He rolls up one sleeve, willing to reconsider everything. He rolls up one sleeve, willing to reconsider everything.
I button one down, unable to resist. I button one down, unable to resist.

60 60
 Richard Carr
Richard Carr’s brilliant fifth book, One Sleeve, collects all the resonating
themes of his earlier work, turbocharges them, and demands that the reader,

One Sleeve
stripped of all pretense, illusion, and self-pity, face the human condition of
our time. From these dark poems shine great beauty and a strange,
tentative-yet-tough kindness, while simile and lyricism transform each
poem into a mythology that is both frightening and comforting. – Nancy
White, author of Sun, Moon, Salt and Detour

Carr’s narrator picks scabs off his philosophical wounds while his alter ego,
―One Sleeve,‖ attempts to make sense of a fractured universe. ―Irony is the
new certainty,‖ declares Carr’s ambivalent speaker, caught between the
physical sensations and philosophical problems of this world and the next.

one sleeve
– David Hulm, Kirkwood Community College, Iowa City

The very first poem announces that Carr will not be playing by the rules.
―He thinks of himself in the third person / except sometimes when he talks.
// I talk between people. / I aim for the space between passersby.‖ Breaking
the rules allows the narrator to speak with/as a protean voice that makes
him always multiple, inciting us—we passersby—into remaining, like One
Sleeve, ―awake, counting beams of snowlight / hovering in the slats of the
blinds.‖ – H. L. Hix, author of First Fire, Then Birds

Evening Street Press

Poems
by Richard Carr
Evening Street Press
Dublin, OH

Evening Street Press