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to live on the wild side. They partied, gambled, visited brothels and went to bars where they stuffed themselves with food and wine and danced all night and day to the music of harps and lutes and guitars. They lived gluttonous lives of sin, worshipping the ways of devil. They cursed and swore like sailors and would tear the blessed Lord s body to pieces with their foul language and by using His name in vain, (as if the Jews hadn t already done enough damage when they d had him killed). They encouraged each other to sin and would sit around and laugh at all the horrible things they did. And then the thin and shapely dancing girls and the young girls selling fruit and the singers with their harps and the whores and women selling sweets would come over to them to seduce them and encourage them to sin which is so easy for gluttons to do anyway. Just look in the Bible for all those instances when wine and drunkenness led to sin. Recall, for example, how Lot unknowingly had sex with his two daughters. He was drunken stupor and didn t know what he was doing. Or remember the story of Herod, the man who, when he was drunk and full from feasting, ordered John the Baptist s execution, even though John hadn t done anything wrong. Seneca also talks about drunkenness. He says that drunkenness and insanity are one and the same, with the exception that insanity is a defect and lasts longer than drunkenness. Oh, gluttony is such an awful sin! It brought the downfall of a mankind and doomed as until Christ saved us by sacrificing himself. Gluttony has caused so much trouble and corrupted the world so much. You see, god banished Adam and Eve from paradise to live lives of misery and toil because they were gluttons. Everything was fine in the Garden of Eden as long as Adam didn t eat anything, but they got kicked out when he ate the forbidden fruit on the tree. Oh gluttony, we have every right to hate you! If people only knew how much sickness and disease overeating causes, they d eat more moderately, that s for sure. God! The wealthy glutton s taste for fine food and wine makes the working folk everywhere in the East and West and North and South, on land and at sea work to death. St. Paul knew this, which is why he wrote, Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats, but God shall destroy both it and them Ugh, it s awful, I swear, to talk about gluttony, and it s far worse to actually be glutton and turn your mouth into a toilet from drinking so much red and white with wine. St. Paul, the apostle, wept when he said, There are many men out there who will tell you that they don t care about Christ and say that their stomachs are their only gods. It makes me weep to just think about it. Stupid Stomach You are filled with corruption and dung. Both ends make awful sounds when burping or farting. It costs so much and requires so much effort to feed you! Just look at all the cooks who knead and grind and strain to make food for you to keep you satisfied! They mix spices and herbs and roots and bark to make tasty sauces for you. They even work extra hard to extract the marrow out of the animals bones to give you something sweet to eat. Everyone who lives for these vices, though, is surely already dead for having sinned so much.
But when he arrived. and then there s swearing. the more shameful it is you gamble. were all done through prayer and without liquor. you. It goes against God and is the biggest waste of time and money. mind. for example. another evil that old books talk a lot about. It says so in Matthew and Jeremiah. where he told the Corinthians. That s why being called a gambler is such a great shame. I could go on and on. Then there s the example you can find in the writings of John Salisbury of the king of Parthia in Persia. but you get the idea. Or look at how the great warrior Attila the Hun died in his sleep from a nosebleed he got from drunkenness. You can t even keep secrets when you re drunk. Samson. but Lemuel received about how judges who decide legal cases shouldn t drink wine. even though. and you make an awful wheezing sound through your nose that sounds like you re saying. Just look in the Bible and you ll see what I m talking about. and I won t do you dishonor of allying Spartan with gamblers. I don t want to lose my good name. Swear only to make a promise not when you re lying and then only in righteousness. including lying and cheating. Send another ambassador to make the deal if you want. Let me put it this way: All of the greatest deeds and triumphs you read about in the Old Testament that were done in the name of God. The Greek writer named Stilbon. You re clumsy you never know what you are saying. Leaders should always be sober. Casual swearing . Samson for sure. God on high forbade swearing altogether you know. and drunkenness leads to fighting and misery. and no one wants to touch you. Drink that stuff and in no time you ll be saying Samson. Too bad. Samson. but I d rather die than ally you with gamblers. though.Wine only leads to lecherousness. who sent a pair of golden dice to a king of Parthia looked down on Demetrius because of his bad habit. your breath reeks. That s why he turned around and immediately went straight back to Corinth. You should stay away from both white and red wine. Gluttony isn t the only horrible vice. Gambling is just as bad. Jeremiah says. Or just remember the warning Lemuel not Samuel. and you have no sense of decency because the wine has ruined your intellect and ability to speak. the omnipotent. There are certainly lots of more important things a king can do all days besides gambling! Oh. No one likes a king who is a gambler. And the richer you are. Let me tell each of you drunkards out there that your face is disgusting and fleshy. Strong language is abominable. He died with nothing but shame or dishonor. because who knows if he ll also take such risk with the policies concerning his country and his people. was once sent from Spartan on a diplomatic mission to Corinth to strike an alliance between the two powers. he happened to find all the Corinthian leaders participating in a great gambling tournament. Gambling roll so many vices into one. who was a wise ambassador. particularly from those cheap wines from Lepe in Spain that are sold on Fishstreet and Cheapside. and swearing for no good reason is even worse. That s why the wise philosopher said. God knows Samson in the Bible never had a drop to drink.
The shadowy thief that people call death. Go out right now and find out whose body that is. and they tore Christ s body apart with their foul language. though. interrupted the bartender. Mister. He has killed a thousand people during this outbreak of the plague. women. and set out for that village the bartender had told them about. Sir. By St. in case you ever meet him that you should be careful around him and always be prepared to meet him unexpectedly. it s so bad that it s even one of the Ten Commandments: Thou shalt not use the Lord s name in vain. Death has killed men. okay now I ll tell you my story. I mean. they saw a man ringing a bell as he led a cart with a dead body on it through the streets on the way to the graveyard. the three rouges I was telling you about a minute ago were drinking in a bar.for no real purpose is a sin. Gentlemen. We ll vow to kill this villain Death who has killed so many people. We ll find him and vut him down before nightfall! Together the three delinquents swore to live and die for the others just as if they d been blood brothers from birth. may God bless you and keep you well! . When the rouges saw this. children. are you thinking what I m thinking? Let s all grab hands and take an oath so that the three of us become brothers. I ll kill you with this dagger! will all get you into trouble. I don t need to go out there and ask. I should warn you. even if it s just a small swear. drove his scythe into the man s heart and sliced it in two before silently moving on again. furious and very drunk. While they were sitting there. if you cheat me. God thinks cursing is so bad that this commandment even comes before those against murder and other heinous crimes. the boy replied. anyway. and we d be wise to be on guard in case we happen to meet him. and wealthier folk alike in a large village just about a mile from here. God will have his revenge on anyone who swears too much. that s for sure! Saying things such as By God s own heart! and The blood of Christ! or Seven s my lucky number as yours is three and five! And B God. Is he really that deadly? Then I swear to God I ll search all the streets and hunt him down! My friends. one of them called the waiter over and said. On their way. they swore like sailors to kill Death. I reckon Death probably lives there. don t curse. laborers. Well one morning before the church bells had even rung for morning mass. And it all stems from gambling. So for the love of Christ who died for our sins. When they d gone only about half a mile. Someone told me about a couple hours before you came in here that it s an old friend of yours who was slain as he was sitting drunk in a chair last night. who kills everyone in this land. the kid I right. Then they stood up. Okay. By Gods arms! said one of the rouges. they came upon a poor old man. This year alone. Mary. though. just as they were about to hop over a fence the old man greeted them politely and said. That s why my mother always told me.
Death doesn t want me either. because people would accuse us of stealing it and hang us for moving our own money. so I have no choice but to be as old as I am until God changes His mind. And if we could carry all this money to my house or one of your houses we d never have to worry about money again. My flesh and blood and skin are all drying p. Now. unless he s done something really bad to you. He isn t going anywhere. one of the other hooligans said. Unfortunately. May God who saved mankind save you! The three scoundrels ran off in that direction until they came to the oak tree. I wish I could trade that beautiful chest in my bedroom for a burial shroud to put myself in! But so far. Remember that it says. Still. Mother Earth. gramps. listen up. and he s certainly not going to run away from you. No. that you re his spy. Just look at how wretched I am. but I m pretty sharp. All I can do is wander around like a restless soul. We can t move this money in broad daylight. if you really want to find Death. let me in! I say. gentlemen. she hasn t helped me at all. Even if I walked all the way to India. I m thinking that you re in cahoots with him. You re not going anywhere. We re not going to let you get away that easily! You seem to know a lot about this bastard Death who s been killing our friends around here. though. In other words. we ll have to transport it at night and do it carefully as possible so that no one will see. I d never find anyone who d want to trade me their youth for my age. two of us should stay here and guard the . old man. until the worst of the three finally said: My brothers. They sat down next to the bags of gold for a while. Why are you all wrapped up except for your face? And how have you lived to be so frickin old? Shouldn t you be dead by now? The old man just looked him in the eyes awhile before finally saying. I m sure we can find ways to spend all this! Who in God s name would have thought that today would be so lucky for us? I say this gold is ours because we found it. I should continue on now. They were so awestruck by the shiny gold coins that they completely forgot about hunting and killing Death. though. wherever you go. Not so fast. Instead. and that you re trying to kill all the young people! By God and the Bible. respect your elders. they discovered about eight bushels of gold florins. Fortune has given us this treasure so that we can always live our lives in comfort and revelry. the old man replied. As for me. you better tell me where Death is or you ll regret it! Well. I may goof off a lot. old man? the most arrogant of the ruffians asked. which is why I m as old and disgusting as I am.What the hell do you want. Don t do or say things to an old man that you wouldn t want done or said to you and May God go with you. Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head! . When will my tired bones be laid to rest? Mother. it isn t very nice of you to speak to an old man the way you did. See that oak tree? He s right under that one. knocking my walking stick on the ground morning and night hoping Mother Earth will take me back. of finding Death. which is why I m so pale and rickety. then all you have to do is walk up this crooked path because I just left him over there in that grove of trees. I ve got an idea.
and will take effect in less time than it d take you to walk mile. I can sell you some strong poison. If only there were some way I could have all that money to myself. Then you can pull out your dagger and do the same. Then. we swore an oath to be brothers. This stuff is so strong that no living creature in the world will be able to survive if it eats or drinks this. I give you my word that I won t betray you. I ll sneak up behind him and stab him with my dagger. . But wouldn t it be great if we could figure out some way so that we d only have to divide it between the two of us? Wouldn t you like that? Yeah. The youngest of the three. while the two of you are wrestling. the other one answered. wait for him to sit down. Then we ll have all his money to ourselves and will only have to divide it tow ways instead of three. the first one began. We have all this money here to divide among the three of us. He then put three straws in his fist and had each of the other two take one to see who d be the runner. Sure. I think we should draw straws to see who should be the one to run to town and get the food. Can you keep a secret? I swear I won t tell anyone anything.money while the third goes to town and gets some bread and wine for us to eat until we can safely move the gold tonight. Lord! he exclaimed to himself. there are two of us and only one of him which means that we can take him. meanwhile. enemy of all mankind. There wouldn t be any man alive who d live as happily as me. Well. He thought about it and thought about it until finally the devil himself. and then jump up and grab him as if you wanted to horse around. You know. where he asked the clerk if he could buy some poison to kill the rats in his house and the skunk that had been eating his chickens at night. That ll give each of us more money to play around and gamble with and do whatever we want. so he set off immediately for the town below. said the other guy. that d be great. The other ruffian liked this idea. The youngest of the three picked the shortest straw. When he comes back. But I don t know how you re planning on doing that. It s fast-acting too. so the two of them agreed to this plan to kill their friend. one of the remaining two rouges turned to the other one and said. What would we say t him? What are you thinking? I have a plan that I think will work. As soon as he was gone. the clerk said. the first rouge replied. considering our younger friend knows about the gold. He headed straight for the town drugstore. put it in his thoughts that he should poison his two friends so that he could have all the money to himself. couldn t stop thinking about those bright new gold florins as he headed into town. which is why I want to tell you something that I think will interest you.
I ll write your name down in my official notebook so that you ll have no trouble going straight to heaven when you die. lechery. addicted villains with your swearing on Christ s body! How is it that you can treat your creator so horribly when he has saved you with his own precious blood? Now. well. A holy pardon from me can save you for a modest fee of a few silver coins. I doubt even Avicenna himself. Well. I mean. and be the first to make an offering. caretaker o f our souls. I will absolve you those of you who make an offering. an excellent pardoner. then you can come right over here. he headed back to where his two friends were waiting for him at the oak tree. ladies and gentlemen. and gambling gets you! Evil! Sin! Wickedness! Murder! All you arrogant. He put poison in two of them. the great Arab writer on medical herbs and poisons. said the Host. which he knew he d need later that night because he planned to move all the gold by himself. I mean. And after he d filled the big bottles with wine. Sir Host. the first rogue said. maybe you ll fall off your horse and break your neck or something and need to be pardoned before you die. but he kept the third bottle clean for his own drink.The young rouge bought the poison and then went to see a guy on the next street over to borrow three large empty bottles. I m not trying to trick you here. may God forgive you for your sins and keep you safe from sin of greed. You d call your own pants a relic and make me kiss them even though they re soiled . and make an offering. And in no time at al. which is a veritable breeding ground for sin. and may Jesus Christ. receive my pardon. These two scoundrels suffered horribly as they died. and ring. just as they d planned. actually. That s what I do. And when they d finished. Come one. that s how these two hooligans died shortly after they killed their own poisoner. Aren t you just lucky that I m here so that your soul won t have any problem finding its way to heaven? I think that our Host here should be pardoned first because he runs a tavern. Oh! But I forgot to add one thing. As luck would have it. Now let s sit and relax for a bit before burying the body. ladies. Or you re more than welcome to offer up your shiny new coins to receive a pardon every so often along the way so that you ll know you ll be free of sin and guilt by the time we reach Canterbury. I also accept jewelry. riding with you in case you need to be forgiven. trade in some of your extra clothing for a pardon. You see what gluttony. there really isn t a whole lot more to say. and humbly receive absolution from me. The two older friends killed the youngest right after he d returned with the food and wine. You should all be glad that you have me. Come here. that is of any past wrongdoing to make you as clean and holy as the day you were born. Anyway. they were both dead. silverware. he grabbed and drank from one of the bottles with poison in it and gave the other poisoned bottle to his friend. had ever encountered such awful effects. kneel down. it ll only cost you one silver coin. Christ send me to hell first! I ll never give you anything as long as I live. mind you. Oh no. step up. If any of you feels compelled by your faith to make an offering and see the relics. this is a great opportunity here for you! This is in your own interest. I ll even let you kiss all of my relics. I have right here in my bag some holy relics that are as good as any other relics in England. The pope himself gave them to me. That s right. Take out your wallet.
The gold symbolizes death because it led the rioters to sin and they became very greedy. And Mr. everyone was already laughing hysterically. Their attitudes towards life were irreparable. that s enough. . His tale is about three rioters who go on a mission to seek death and kill him. These characters are known to be corrupt. By this point. his text contains a double irony: His love for money is the root of his evil. The Pardoner is very greedy and deceitful. said the Host. I wish I could have your balls in my hands instead of your so-called relics so that I could cut them off and have them smashed into pig turd! The pardoner didn t say anything. They only think about themselves and have no desire to care for anyone else. Helena found. in emphasizing this. and they all continued on our way to Canterbury. Mr. All right.with crap! By the true cross that St. though. Instead of finding death. yet his sales depend upon the purchaser's love of money. And with that. the Pardoner takes as his text that "Love of money is the root of all evil. No more fooling around. Host. he sells more and gains more money for himself. calm down and go over to our Host. Thus. The rioters and the pardoner both have many characteristics that reflect them as being greedy and disrespectful men. all right. which prompted the Knight to say. I like you a lot. Pardoner. an old man guided them to a tree which had gold beneath it. with you or anyone else. so please just give the Pardoner a kiss and make up. He just stared at the Host because he was too angry to speak." yet he emphasizes how each relic will bring the purchaser more money. The three rioters and the pardoner have a lot in common. The Moral of the Pardoner s Tale In the Pardoners Tale by Geoffrey Chaucer. Let s put this behind us so that we can laugh and relax like we were doing earlier. the Pardoner and the Host kissed and put the matter behind them. Okay.