1 1

DAYDREAM OF YOU Daydream of you you're something of a minimalist next to searchings for you on my commute from daydreams of you leave me... daydream of you... ne'er again bring our head down to your face in the crowd; conversation swallowed in forecast of what loves beyond you, bare with me through my daydreams of you... through my days upon daydreams of you dejavu mass produced yet Grasped, crafted, there's something beyond you that would not induce me in plain view daydream of you stay from contracting to your face in the crowd because you wiz me by without you and it makes me feel you more when no one’s around


2 2

Metro trek,

next station

past the last,

staring through

and at my face on

some scratched up glass


3 3

Night Terrors Their shoes were at one another’s toes Their hands having the intimacy of each Other’s fingers to hold within them Their attention attached deep as the dream, The dream, seemed a phenomenon of me Remembering Mother’s white gown Her veil and her crown, Father’s presence Over-standing her shins shaking in her throat As she went to bend at the knee and break From an “Oh”… with her hand out for the ring… Darkness drawing in Everytime I awoke To escape from suffocating In it’s approach, spreading for a grab at befallen hopes, I awoke From dreams of the dream coming close, then coming Closer, in-coming, closer they got the less the dream followed me into my sleep, till it stopped; the sweat, the weep, pee down my legs, the threat of seeing her reach through me and never meet back with dad but in memories; Presage of a fetus whom had just been conceived... Indeed I wouldn't know what they'd mean, These dreams… til she told me she had been pregnant with me


4 4

Incisions scarred on my memory, in the kitchen with Ma when any and all stimuli would break

from our senses, drawn to congregate where she's bled a scream,

have only kept mended

so long as it might've been, before she was back to losing the knife in her fingers

Over the cutting board in the sink


5 5
Su Cara Your eyebrows had me in flight, when from a pair of wings they became clouds, spread above me as I faced so deep into you, a vibrato purred in my chest, sitting upright with my knees straddled, for your nostrils...

then like a leaf I fell into your lips, curled on the pond water I recognize ...to be your happiness.

That smile always reminds me that beauty is a human illusion,

just in time to save me from becoming the distance...


6 6

WHERE WE MEET We've been all around the world, I wouldn't know-----where to look were it directions that recorded our paths, you couldn't possibly know----- how difficult it is for me to cross any which way My gut startled in the traffic of possibilities the rhythm of the pace of the scribe imagining you recognizing the story I’ve coddled you for, and the follow through absorbing our eyes

You've been places you couldn't possibly have imagined no you haven't, give me a sign, see you haven't!

They aint talking words if they don’t bend for me, and with silence the thud of knives possessed to a wall days spend the time afforded me by my god, to meet you, I’m sure; knowing who you are talking to when you aint talking at all

feeling you this way I’m feeling you this way I’m feeling

the wind whistling, and my heels clocking my step


7 7

Do swirl, the leaves which leave the ground for barely a moment, picked up in a gust one catches wind of, cuffed how the longing does hold it .

suspending notion of the night dropping again to an empty lot… before goose bumps cede their height to the dark Do they swirl


8 8

We live Mourning cried for the moment that let me tears I could feel It was the first time death was foreal and so I guessed to grieve to share the elders' sentiment angels couldn't caress through the mask impressed upon me skidding down a cheek moaning with the clear day filling the mind on my mind, I remember trying… to understand the mercy for which they wept I remember trying, for something to clear away from my feeling fine. The concept of dying wasn't beyond belief for me, so for a long time I knew myself to be the liar in the room and grew reverting back to find where I may have forgotten to look for my heart scrambling behind from school to the apartment, from my cousin's hand releasing mine at my mother's arms, to her describing where grandpa went...

Twenty years raise me above myself at my waist,


9 9
layered with weight on my thighs shoulders and chest, a thickened neck, with hair formed out my jaw and crossed in my own grasp I stand wrapping my thoughts around questions of life and death, damp in the fog, high above the moss, reminding myself to check from pensive to make sure the children haven't strayed from on front of the gaze holding here Calverton Cemetery on the anniversary of a man I have heard revered, but can only recall a couple of brief focuses on, surfacing and re-submerging back into legend.

This time there were no tears, still and again no emotion stuck, and this time I must have left the guilt of asking myself whether I cared enough, on the galloping rhythm of their laughter, on the space the earth ok'd them to sprawl, manicured between rows of stone heading hallowed ground they were prancing off Who in the world has ever died, There, I wondered, When the children remain happy?


10 10

Things Fall Apart Men become men, may be we became men raising them,

We’d eventually let him down; Cousin, sent’to come and be man of the house once our dad had set out and abandoned us too

maybe We became men, baby men raised me, men becoming aging men

Why else would he have insisted We disband at the park, at the pool, And leave us back some yards On the way home from school

ain't we men?

Why else would he have withdrawn From wrestling in the room so that the onus To mold us continued on the next to oldest having to grapple and roll with his youth


11 11

Playing, men aint being men, behaving, men aint being men;

It was the same for me eventually; was when Jason’s face surfaced the window and saw us two sharing a bath at our age, that I strayed from brother, by the day Grace, healing, aint… safe keeping, peace seeking ways Aint men’s ways,

Even if he wasn't to blame it was up to little dude to prove that he could run with the strong, if I was to bring him along; because I was gone…

Makes me wonder whether it’s how Brother had to have felt, left the bed to himself; whether he wondered if it was any fault of his own the way I often did when Cuzzo left home They aint men, They Rearing men Aint men aye…


12 12

Loosend Let

..Wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round round and round...

Baby girl, you're going to let it out when you do and I've been sure to wait out this desert for the thousandth sun you light to give us a park to play in again I had to be a day ahead, once I saw myself blackening into your blank laughter watching you re-emerge from thinking 'bout what I might be up to the day you wed Spring-on mi amor bounce and jerk, and stand what you gotta do Papi understands, Papi get's it Baby girl, you're going to let it out when you do but, I'm praying that someday if I stay reminding you: at this moment the sun


13 13

is following us both, my words'll speak clear when it's glare stains your eyes closed I've had to be a day ahead so that I may forever assure my voice is not pulling my hair out,

backed up into the midnight howling of the ceiling laying gravity on my face with you not hearing me

Roll in your seat and go on whining, continue climbing and slipping and sliding up and down the chair what you gotta do, preciosa.. Papi understands, Papi gets it The wheels on the bus go round and round, lah dah dah lah, dah, dah


14 14

Flogging at her conscience, boxed down behind the bathroom door the one plea that squealed out her daughter through the hacking demon cast loose from moms dukes', to bring her palm heel dwindling in, was deafening enough that Bebe's cheery apologies for provoking pau-pau remained unresponded to, as she stood there, stroking her mother's hair and peeking up kneeling under her tears, Oblivious to her own little voice

crying "Help Me" in the echoes of the hand that struck a nerve


15 15

Pleas To The Riveter

She's only become disgusted because she swears she's grown she was raised alone on top of the top of the head of her older sisters’ long shadow with meticulous toes_ But how could we discuss this so that she doesn't never know I felt I needed to tell her how there remains the chapter I still cannot close, in her playing the role to the rule

balancing that damn textbook_


16 16
whoa I am men, and I can accept that the time Accrued before her, behind her, to refuse seeing us friends buried the thought off my own hind paws, but_ For just another this once It's not like I’m asking for anything more, than that she remember laughing to her next foot before the yonder…

and that she give an attempt to recognize who enticed her smile back-walking in the wait for it…


17 17

Easy now, easy as ever your mind and eye been growing old together growing wise

Ol pensive baby spent a whole childhood aging, old soul; sage holding hope from its reigns between a queen's eyeliner pencil stuck in the ways of a boy peaking past her best friend come to ask, for that girl at the other end of the question. They like you

Trust, they write you into the bottom of their hearts and kiss you on envelopes sending writings on the wall.

Easy... easy, easy, easy, ease it down …Ease it now


18 18

Avertedized Truth is I was shy, prudent down to the shoes where I’d hide my hi’s and my bye’s I would lie; pick up a five When asked how many Girlfriends I had I’d’v said more if there were More fingers on my hand If that is what was going to distinguish me as a Man, be as it may I was only a child Poised before aunts and uncles who’d call me to Come to them; negative 6th sense feeling me out for faggotry… learning to answer when it was asked me: “What would you do with that?” ass ...Always folded my hands in class Always Sat in the front of the room Got in line behind the lower inch; and I was quick, to swoop my head away When Josephine asked me what I was looking at… in the middle of a symphony of harps


19 19

“You call that a bitch!”

Looking back

How I wish something in their words Had hardened me… if they weren’t Going to teach me to speak to females It’s a shame the names didn’t prepare me to detach from the boys… through the years her voice would deter me hauntingly, throughout the years I’d avoid encountering the noise


20 20

A prude tickings

Slack gives lay upon an edge in my joints tonight, the light is well though this room is still

It is as if the week's end; the suspense it gives in to heathens, has submitted to the walls, is grilling it's own ego

Here we go, pressing space against every twist I've turned like oil suppressing the water; detaching me from the million things, of things..

Anguish, the convenient companion we befriend, keeping you exclusive to forever within, where a hopeless romantic has never been rejected


21 21

Dem Bones

The fan blowing Connected brother’s Chest snoring

The breath snoring Connected that buzz, we never Guessed the source of

And that buzz paused, to

mother’s calls, before my gawk offed him

.Despite.my worry.I was warned…


22 22

To Gether

A someone I adore creeps the floor...

warm encased in-with the absence of a dream’s early quarters under bats that haven't flapped since she's glinted in the black of empty longings, from heights Love’s nostalgia draws me to

Somebody is moving forth the edge where utopias shred to the stain of sun rays

another day another breathhurt, I may slip the grip of its tourniquet

and leave liable the inner ramblings of a brittle heart to conversation with an abandoned romance,


23 23

but she's breathing inside of me, I’ve been wrong before, but I’ve been right;

I’m arching the frail contour to second encounters, beside somebody, struck by rainbows

which will either bring us to feel the skin of night Or dry up on an imagination poets saunter unselfishly

should snapped from dome there remain I alone to see myself with me


24 24

Oedipus Rex

Twists in turns it burns In the stomach-less inferno Between beating, in the chest And in my thing

Over concern that tonight I Will have you, it will be I you choose

It stings of the blood line, shot Through semen warming the mattress Like the draft from an atomic explosion, And I am wearing his draws…

That man you think I’ll call on As dad, I don’t even know him; What do you owe him that he aint gone’ Have to get, past me, for?

I am ready, for war!


25 25

I can’t recall exactly when It became this big secret; But there came the point, When Ma was going to have to Chase me down to see it Which was really around the time I began getting a good look at my penis, Falling over the waist band Like Mikey’s stash out the attic, then nestled back in, like the magazines he kept hidden behind beams in the laundry shoot


26 26

JUICY; Hard Rock

Upon notice that her tongue had lost it's thought, in the middle of a conversation with mine my attention was twined into the grind at her waist, and her grip on my shirt lifting a gather -ing of my courage

buttons to the floor thread spread loose She asked if i was going to 'juice her', but i was too locked in my jaws

to whisper back


27 27

The Horizontal Merengue ear to ear Ear to ear how we scramble when we dance ear to ear neighbors pipes met with pans we cant hear, ear to ear ear to ear…

ankles scuffing out of shoes, and we're shuffling out of pants absorbing one another’s neck, ear to ear ear to ear wet compress ear to ear chilled at breath at ear, at ear balls and breasts and cuffing ears guiding us to adhere,


28 28

ear to ear…

thuddumping hearts at ear at ear internal sounds we incept dangle, dive, slide and smudge confined and let at ear at ear ear to ear…

at ear da'me, da'le, si at ear

instructional requests at ear remarks perspired out of body heat at ear at ear ear to ear… Till our rhythm's drown the sound to it configured how we're bound, slowing down to come up eye and smile before another go around, Ear to ear





Yes you may have me "here" In the middle of everywhere on front of everyone, "no" I cannot stop "now"... forgive me, but I can only be "the touch" you fiend, the touch I cant leave because of, just breath, bite, try not to scream alright ? Break if you are going to break sit if you have to "take" me further, don't reject the fervor...

Forget about what remains for the hours ahead,


30 30

there isnt any "more" if you can't think of any "more", I'm not trying to be slick please don't get upset with me amor, please "dont" fret so desperately please, please, please "dont" "I'm yours"...

hey, close your eyes smile, you're with me cover your mouth, apologize to the gentleman gentlewomanly shake your head but dont dont, dont, dont, shake me off shake: It is ok...

disappear on me,


31 31

spin with your arms out and face in the sky let them all pass you by let it all roll behind


32 32


Finessed, taken drift through an inhale deep, and back, to deflation down the ribs, past a scope kept harnessed

around her breasts; hardened on nipples and sweat, A semen dense smoke curtailing thin

discards him limp, as the incense glows dim and the scent of Afrikan Musk begins, to re-distinguishes itself




34 34

Like an artist rendering words shaped inherent in his toilings

to have reflected back their essence no different than alters receiving their offer

You let your sexuality sit on my mind and demand appreciation too

I feel humanity; you feel just like any vessel through whom I feel angels

your harvests of lovers bloom, dirt on fruit; it’s poetry growing on me, remarkable


35 35
S o m e k i n d of Power Focus deflated from everywhere I held it in. laughter went. On front of us youngins Evelyce answered her friend: Well don't suck Dick if you don't swallow! One time I watched from across the street As she Unzipped/tugged her crotch low With her wrist pressed on her pelvis, Then lifted forked fingertips spreading her lips! She sent this nigga to hell! Then steamed past me without ever looking my way, up the block, where bricks tag for nameplates: those namesake that cant be taken…

…For a long time I peeped her steelo At a distance, forced to forget we ever had A conversation… should she happen to have been posted up near the store or

In their corner of the park Diddy bopping with her peoples


36 36
There’s this picture, of Gracie Cupped upon my cheeks My God, oh my Touched and out of reach

A veering by equanimity towards a Peace, all mighty : Most-High Supple on my eye

Mine is mine, but enthralled At her stomach inside her palms, I am tried;

in her is a Mother’s world more than a lover’s child

and like her hands, how she’s stretched of veins, her skin is a protector; linea negra tightened to the grain the light she glows exposes neck-up


37 37

It’s something I can’t explain, that’s not The flash, it’s not the focus

It’s in the stature of a Queen Or rather, that of divinity,

But there is something I’m not seeing, And In fact, it’s nothing, I don’t notice All I know is I’ve never seen A human being, as close to being human ...As she, alone, in this picture

She’s posed so beautiful in


38 38

Always you’ll Remember Remember when we were kids And I would pull your hair To see if it had feelings of its own? Tugging your forehead back From your throat like a pez, and climbing down your eyes to check? :: then trying again, next time gathering at your scalp a grip to disjoint the root from it’s length, and with the bottom hand yanking the horse buggy out of it? No? You do not feel that now? Of course I should have expected You’d get involved, with a boy between us; Drop and whip those lox for him, Waving off into memory, streaming Through fingers reclaiming what is yours; our explorations become sister/brother talk…

But I remember your revelation The occasion Ma let you cut it off, When you claimed you could still feel the hair Even though it was no longer there, And it crystallized for me then, that For Solania, …had flashed more than a dozen Birthdays blinding, me, planted behind her From cradling her spine to setting a ginger palm on my baby sister’s shoulder,


39 39

you know what? For As long As I’m alive And in my mind enough to Climb back into your eyes to check, If you’re with me when I recollect How we built one another up; every once in awhile you’re gonna feel My presence behind you It’ll be the same if I died too… Because since I’ve been old enough To know you to have grown enough To agree to lend me the answer to a Basic question off the top of your head, I’ve been convinced that there is nothing That isn’t an extension of life; and neither Do memories, have dead ends


40 40
To The Hush Mama, that man with the kids our age I found myself looking around from amongst, where you left us to play; clearly wasn't teaching me how to lift weights like he promised. And you'd both be gone quick as I’d think to ask how long did we have to stay; don't you think for a moment, that I never got it...

hanging later than usual, in the school yard, waiting on you, to scoot; for your boots to pull you off the gate to thread apart from his hand. Running plates of food across the street, up his stoop to the man your girlfriends referred to as chi'o through the blinking zone screening my scope, do not think for a moment, that, we didn't know...


41 41

How you couldn’t live, left to your lone

how, step-dad slept through his every second at home; through your long baths and your slow jams, your smiles and tears, you going out for sun and letting the draft in;

I get why you crept, though back then, my stomach hurt too much... seeing the ol' man come from work, to the hush…

And when the phone became the front that didn't feel too adventurous, the front became his entrance and when you kissed it heckled us, to our exodus... And as the hours became his, everything and the shower became his, wrapped in bed covers


42 42

with his face in the fridge, and his way with favors he came to expect that you'd send for...

Mama, I no longer feel any torment

for, I now understand you'd never put a man before your children; I apologize if I was hell-bent on rubbing your nose in how I felt then. But

my anger was real and in such humiliation I had forgotten 'bout all the love I was raised in,

I’m putting the bastard in the ground, along with how ugly I may have been...

I simply want you to be happy as Mother's come, maybe I never got that you were happy as Mother's came;


43 43

Perhaps it sent me into shock witnessing, what I wasn’t convinced you got from Mothering; a Loving joy that filled a void, a freak you voyaged on your wings, your buddy, toy, your thug, your king I no longer struggle with what he means

And neither should you because I know that you do... He was just another, to whom, yourself, you were giving of, to; another your love drew, to whom you held like Mothers do; just another lover, who loved you


44 44
Take Two

It’s your lead, And I peeped your Q,

Stoking a fire Like Jimi over his Electric Lady,

deep into your fingers inviting yourself to come.

Your eyes squeezing Me out, like I’m the waking hour And you’re trying To keep this dream attuned…

Guess I’ll just keep it to how You do you When I please don’t move


45 45
IM INSTANT MESSAGE (ToneAre) 1:41 AM What is it that attracts you to a man? Is it his shoulders, his chest? His jaw, his brow? Is it the scent of a man? INSTANT MESSAGE (Kay Dee) 1:42 AM I like women. I have had women, I will continue to be with women… But I LOVE men! I love being with a man. I love a man’s touch, I love the bond. It’s not just a physical thing, I don’t go around just fucking. I made sure at a very young age to appreciate the people who take care of you.. and I like to take care of others as well. My environment and having to survive where I came up, that forced me to make sure that I secure some kind of spiritual connection with WHOMEVER I’m with! And to not just run around like some confused faggot! I like being with a man that shares himself with me, his soul, and I like to share my soul with a man, I like to care for a man. I love giving head to a man, and I love getting head from a man. I love fucking! And just being.. being with a man. love it… I love it, I love it, I

INSTANT MESSAGE (ToneAre) 1:43 AM Wow brother… really didn’t expect you to come at it like that. The way you explain it, just sounds like …really human


46 46

Stale, the cool down cold; pale, days by day go; deadening life like moisture of the skin, and the glint cross blades of hair

Where do I start, so that I may move on, with all the world I’ve quelled surrounded in

When the sky floats face down

above me, and I’m so unsure

that you wont come around again


47 47

For Your Sake Hate is too weak a word an inhuman inflection of anger, and Love is too strong, a word, for you, I haven't an emotion

A quizzical grappling.. that's all. Ties me down to that space in my treasure of childhood mindings, till my mind leaves my face, having brought you back from behind me Still unable to make of what it was, about me being ok with you being my big friend, that gave my arms to your squeeze, and knees to the floor, other than your please and your promise, to stop when I didn't want to no more; It couldn't have been my dirty hands; but I wonder sometimes if maybe when you held me to cross it was me letting you be the man.. If it wasn't the mucus on my breath, maybe in words I chose to speak own bed, with you, I was making my sandbox bed.sand boxbed sandbox bed…

You did let go, when I told you that it hurt and it doesn't hurt anymore, but you got to let go... how I ever will, I don't know


48 48

but it doesn't hurt anymore, I don't know you did let go, and it doesn't hurt I don't know Rarely do I revisit the pain, knowing I’d be reminded of how I was giving up names of others in my treasure so I wouldn't feel ashamed, about being the only one you tried it with together... Weren't for the part I may have played with every subsequent puff that hit their chest every pound of pressure to pound the next one of us back and forth, to those passed, away, in leading our spring horse into harms way I might not be having those days still, that fatal foreshade, that I haven't quite made up my mind that I wont kill you; walk up to you without a heart or a brain and maim you for every toy trunk I could put on a gun ...one for every one of my students I walked into you eyeing, down yay to them high, that fateful afternoon I brought up the back of the line into your prayer too abrupt for you to say whatever you may have, before I asked whether you remembered what my name was, then gave you a hug so I may, rather, gaze into that...


49 49

Take me

how I want

or I will fight

better you not leave and take what I need, I'm here to bleed,

I wont be broken in, wait, please continue to break, me, down

continue to Take me how

I want


50 50


Climb up, find me, there get a grip, size me, yeah bring me in to hold you stare within forever glimpsed I know you dear... quiver now Who knows you? Collapse Whisper loud then get that Stroke in your back my soul forbears what it's shown every time you've found me alone, till you're here. And you’re back! To lollygag round the living room With me, smiling on a swan of a neck behind you, and I’m on my jack like Spike Lee, following slowly Into another fantasy


51 51

Trail Struck Your kiss

Something about your essence, the bitter sweet warmth of your breath tames, that wilderness in your scent, keeps me kep t in the foul We coalesce at our mouths how our hair and humidity take, or bare foot immersed on the dirt, the sun and the baking concrete Like a Lass with a jug of black beer, blood becoming cashmere, pocket o lullabies full of posies, a lure cures your approach

your face breaking down to your feel sight sealed, till it peels us apart constrains me open the moment, I inhale the moment; a Roamer 'pon the wild we embark


52 52

Give Me

Help me from submitting No, let me go, I'm giving each the other's soul encroached upon to a nova snapping back to scene; beautiful eyes, a bed of water lost my cool consumed in some ...force; I'm lost, but cool, I am yours for you Was the heat, of the moment the torch, that burns to a tighter grab dag, I’m exhausted, hot, in the flash Father's hands on the small of mother's back when they wrapped big dreams, conceiving emotions in me I stopped believing I could understand,

It's this some kind of way that I feel

It's nothing.. just… well, ...it's real


53 53

BEES THAT WAY Sweet Sugar, shacked up here catching air pardon I appear touched in the cool; clear through Sweetie I hear you

Pit in my caress cradling, your limbs strapped across relaxing might be the delirium answers what you ask me, Honey, go easy We're fresh out of the flowers the consistency of our love is still a sap, but I aa-m feeeling sleeepy


54 54

Partner lover long live you mine muse for countless others, adoring their own love, to know of

adorning the heart with notes putting breath behind you, before you, beside you,

trapped from the ear to the spine


55 55


As -I've- been, may -she- begin killing the lights before we rise high... let us belong don't let it be long before her eyes dry untended to in the cool air, may they enclose us hold us two; there, I close us too... don't leave me high, we can meet up on the other side don't leave me dry, keeping me up on the other side

For breaths that never touched my chest has sure started and stopped me over it, nose to nose to lips close up in lids back to Venus let me carry those bags

with a vicarious grab of the hands


56 56

on her road to implode on this secret we've frequented

yes it feels of the gut lest it feel of rose buds.. On the avenue, through the windshield at her finger tips, in my palm trapped in her name a dozen refrains back, digging the place I’m at coming near, praying I have something here with her waiting to hear that I notice


57 57


Used Silent

to be Lover

Perhaps I am not the real man I’ve prided myself to be, conjugally now we know; ...man did I let go! I allowed myself to b r e a t h tranquilo and how I moaned! well, I actually wouldn't say they were moans exactly, chill, more like a panting; the tongue of a lion in the sun, hotter than the glare on the edge of a diving board, over mellow waters inviting you deep as you could stroke I use to be a silent lover heaved up on my chest, mounted on locked elbows, duro, stiff, all dick! but lately I've been wakening off how the warmth of your flesh feels; a baby boy whining not to be taken off the ride under your density rocking me to stretch open

It's always been my pleasure to let you deliver, but I never recognized your pleasure to let me have it from you,




to have become free as when I begun looking inside your eyes, and how since: I needn't remind my hands to strum the riffs that make you hiss, that jerk your hips when I fold you, then fold over you with a kiss, and nibbles in bits playing along with the song you've taught me to sing, that wont make me a real man to my mans and them; not like I’d expect them to understand… how much time it takes to cuddle, to get every spot every time, to get, that to love you right means tonight you need me to remember how I met you where we've climbed, and to forget about using the same trail to get you there again, but to get you there, again, because you want me to know what it's like to really be the man, and you probably want to know whether you were hearing right


59 59

Word If You're Worthy

LISTEN ; tune out the hysteria I want you to roll with us Through the flatline Let me put those securities over my shoulders Trust... let the words rub your limbs undone Turn me up a pipe in silence; I'm holding ears of dead loves with their eyes on me, hoping I can pass you the cipher we sacrifice to the fire And you’re not lost on the fluttering blessings of Oshun: A queen to whom my every temperament is a squire, Fallen worldly home to roam the zombie's mire it's Out of my hands to procure, if you don't allow me The teeth, tongue and chords, On my line of sight through the light enshrining yours... Too many night falls have recovered me From depths my senses peeled dull in Following arousal of inter-exchanges like these When the charmed evaporate In, out and around to utility poles and trees down town. …You all egress so sudden. When those serpent skin curves get Lost behind the couch, or in the nestled up Word worms browsed, or by my heels Blazing an incision 'round the sky on nuyorks inner edge Don't bother minding I don't hear If you weren't listening When it was raw vibe


60 60
Placing_ Early morning, night waiting the dark through, my sensory bank deposits all of my time thinking about, thinking away from, thinking into you stillness wallowing out like wet cement empty under city lamps, encamped on my pulse I swallow and blink with my chin on my thumb, on my pillow, my tongue circulating notions I might wish to put my breath behind should no other way earn me permission to speak to you, To chance that you'd receive them to know that you'd keep them This is when communication is a third world electrical grid, but I wish I could say I had a moment to conserve, that was more than a promise to work up nerve for words to signal response You know, when I can't help feeling powerless over the silence, touched on me to taste, to my ears and my nose the quiet clutched in my eyes, in my hands, prepared to stop squeezing if not to cover while you light, to let go


61 61

Words Ought To Be Simple Simple, they ought to be. Simple words, along with un -thinkable deeds; Now we're talking the language she'll speak, should she be able to find the words, to express what you mean, to her Let her, express what you mean to her, you could be a creature of it's own creativity, or you might be her silly putty to squeeze on, maybe you're both; a man in her mold for all we know you mean: a change of the season, sea beneath the boat, ...freedom You just focus on what will draw you out from other men


62 62

She needs to do, who she be, to do it! finding a man to love is like fighting the government right place right time, to say what she's needed to hear in her lifetime Keep it simple, and to the point, like a shot to the heart, the simple aim to change the world... tell her like that! Make it a point to give her words she'll forever search to give you right back


63 63


Silence my dear, it was in the silence that I feel we came near that's when the universe disappeared and we gave our voices and faces inside one another to life

Just keep on talking my glow it's nothing, you know, I'm listening go on, never mind that it appears I'm unfocused, as though I've noticed something, I'm open that's all ..

.you're so beautiful




65 65

My… Her skin my god her skin and ____may I ? Her legs, her feet her toes her waist, her back her neck Her collar holds her dignity as high as this woman is strong; submerging the eyes of weak men so that they cannot force them any more than they can to the sun,

high over a boundary I can wait forever for permission to trickle down slow as the streams tumbling El Yunque… A kiss on the eyelids is such a sensual carino

It makes me afraid projecting it being that love to which all waves of communication gravitate... to cause our greatest thinkers to rigor through contemplating whether ANY poem EVER

had anything to say___ that satisfied both want and need, That could justify itself enough in material harmony to be audible in the four letter dimension


66 66

A Poem I Wrote Napkins reading solicitations of the heart: front pocket. and back pocket: folded investments in arms. If they aren't showing how Black they are, gone blue balls in the wash cycle Ink has been a life force complementary to the functioning of my blood in keeping me alive, to my semen carrying the future

and even in my clothes a voice delivered by the spirit, on anything I can find to hold me to myself To a promise, in writing… First poem any stranger ever heard me read was a kiss goodbye the night my brother told us he was leaving to raid cement enclaves: imagining it egg cartons crunching to boots he'd lace doors into the memory of unborn fetuses huddled within cornered families, with a kiss into the floating dust


67 67

of the spotlight, midnight open mic, chairs hoisted onto tables, bar back and I, a cigarette, footsies and whispers; the cold front icing my lashes where the door of the Nuyorican slammed on the poet to follow

There have been about as many as there have been lovers I’ve sung out, a tight fist; I couldn't fill a hand open; on paper it'd appear I’ve dated a beginning, middle, and last name the couple of times giving my body to a stage, to the microphone.. faces in the dark I show them love; when I’m alone, I’ve shared a thousand poems

With fate a sheet under urgency when I feel one coming in my sleep, a collections bill envelope a white man with dred locks when I lay my love on it, I mumble home from the store in pajama pants forgotten of a phone to text it to myself, there goes my finger in the air, there I go noticing I have my finger in the air, tracing another piece to place in love of me… I go noticing there has been no lover in quite some time in my life and time


68 68

and suddenly, suddenly, and suddenly, suddenly I want to read somebody I want to be brown, brave, and beautiful to

I want to free the world and scatter the guilty to their caskets from my self because I be lonely, with a lot of loving to give

from it's hand basket

and free the free

to save me


69 69

SOMEBODIES "Him over there..."

I want to allow conclusions to wrap around it like a movie reel, the notion that you were him, subject of their inquiry

But there was black than there was white back then, and neither between nor any of the two did we fit clean, and so the history we carried with us stood to've either withstood or to've worn away


70 70
on the pipe dream each of our countrymen took turn to force in your day; drowning in the leaks I can see you rinsing work off in

"With the big hands..."

There wasn't a champion before you; the first professionally sanctioned fight in Puerto Rico, and you Alfredo 'Al Clemens' Clemente,

You took the reigns with the weight of your Americanized name thrown around by bidding Marines and colonial industrialists by the ring. I want to believe you shadowboxed behind the conveyor belt, and that they


71 71

leaned in to ask whether it was you in whispers well due, for a seminal figure

on salary at the Campbell soup factory after opening a market that drew the cock fight mass, the proud National; produced an export besides pharmaceuticals

"The Island's Champ..."

But Abuelo, I can't delude the truth, I won't stretch the grandeur of my impressionable youth and ignore that they could've cared less for a bunch of Spiks tearing at the finger tips

Skin slipping off of your knuckles as the label did, off cans they had us collecting in elementary school to go on trips, that taught


72 72
the significance of their place in the brain of machines you strained to work on your way to work on your way back home;

in the zone, with your fists in the air For your own...

probably in themselves never recognized whom you were, busy getting to work, under the lurk of the roaming Foreman

"Al Clemens."

Or were you brought back to homes, in mouths giddy to speak

"Alfredo Clemente"


73 73
...over Rice and Beans, after signaling to get in a peep all day and affably intermingling to the subway with a name to share with the wife; …before sleep, as the dark sedated the final wide hour, and whispers usurped every other trace of his presence, healing their bodies of its labors

"Campeon Boxeo De Bayamon"

…Because despite what I read about your peers of pedigree turning to paupers on these streets, I’d rather choose to believe Our people become fighters with our fighters, and didn't

lose the fight in us with you

struggling to terms with being somebody.


74 74



No, you're not! Yes, mami right I'm trigena? Ehh.. you're more like an olive skin like. Papi wouldn't a person with my complexion be considered trigena? Si fuera mas cerca al color de una India Tuviera; Trigena Browner Boricua oh red bone of ours you raised me away from my face in the mirror with chulo y ese nariz con los labios bembon over here, eyes looking like they're lulling me to sleep Mami was the darkest daughter, so the way I always thunk was as the darkest daughter's darkest son, carifresco, with muscles knotted like ropes on my arms, with an easy drawl hanging dense down my draws Lola's boy; I still got to represent!




Trigeno I am you in love being; Trigeno was always how pretty they knew I spoke and moved. Trigeno you are me in suffering; Trigeno how ugly I felt the fear felt in their eyes around me Mami always swore she was trigena, and even when I saw for the first time that my knuckles were pink as, oh pity, my nipples are pink.. when mi bon-bon cho.co.lat.e informed me that I was not trigeno and to please call her negra, I tried to see that my hands weren't honey but knew only sweetness on front of me Negro. Stop trying to be Black! Somewhere in our bloodline there was a negro, no? does that make me a negro though? Your grandmother is Boricua FROM Puerto Rico, Morenita, it's Different Negra Black Boricua dare I mention Africa..

You kept your secret a slave keeping the home, concocting magic elevating then slouching us heavy under, receiving your


76 76

grand children unconditionally, grooming the daughter like you did your scalp, worshiping the son, never letting go of your Spaniard mother

Abuela we need to deal with this I was thinking about how you said visabuela was ran from la finca over who she wanted to be with, then you go and fall in love with grandpa whose melanin deficiency you managed to sneak mami past, It's like a double helix the way she then thought my dad had the wherewithal to fair'en us all, and yet, my daughter's hair wont fall To me it is no coincidence everyone always thought I was your favorite, Lola's boy preservation is an instinct preservation is an instinct god damnit preservation IS an instinct! Negro, I am you in love being; Negro was always how pretty they knew I spoke and moved. Negro I am you, in suffering; Negro how ugly I felt the fear felt in their eyes around me


77 77

Abuela never spoke of being Puerto Riquena much less... but even in taking the flag down taking my hand down since she's witnessed Jehova, within deep I know I went to sleep and awoke a... trip to Amish country couldn't save me from the drum, from the men in white, from call and response, cards and candles, from the night... Grandma No kielbasa experiment could ever save me from your mondongo and though pills now encapsulate your ancient remedies there is no hand but yours that soothes you will never save me from Africa because I cannot be cured of you Mami, you are more than exotic you are of the original purest root, and proof of it's ability to restore it's youth

Afro-Boricua honor your ancestors look into the mirror, now close your eyes and feel your hair, your face, your hips do not resist what they tell themselves


78 78

Afro-Boricua African Taina Woman Our All-American OURS

Mi Hija

you are the daughter of Lola's boy..

You better represent!


79 79

But Colors of Restoration When I heard the sad clown was gone I found myself angled upward a memory And while surveying why they mightn't have brought me down; the tears he cried, his frown I tailed away to take in the white paint around the frame, picturing a certain emptiness Grandma must have been living through, setting me up in a room I remember and still feel unbounded in as I were, scouring her ever giving eyes, while building blocks that captivated her past me, into premonition. Might've been the moment, which haunted me into shaking shapes out the box for her to watch me to return immediately after she was done pulling socks off the ol' man, maybe it was when I came to understand


80 80

the childhood this saint must have never had, for her to thump on in straight for the grab, replace toy-time with paper to draw on and to continue chores beyond the door as I fixed his face happy outside the lines the clown that watched me play, and sleep The friend I left in that room To weep, while I went and Gave Grandma a kiss on the cheek And a picture for her to keep


81 81

A Brush of Wonder

Your face is just like my face all of my friends say, she has your face, I hear it all day everywhere we go together; la misma cara “that was you” your Wela says amazed Were there a confession I wish to make to clear the way, to get to the point of where I’m going, with a loss for words agape in a gaze on you as you play on it's just that there was a time in my youth when I was so consumed with this fanciful kind of greatness I imagined my potential; that my bust became a stencil for affirmations, my face would become these paintings Wonderment saw the same thing people see in your face, in it's state of me this very moment, I’m wondering if maybe those faded dreams of greatness actually came to be If you are one of those mysterious ways they say God works, I’m wondering... because you must be


82 82

at every curvature and meticulous shape, in the nuances they portray they see in the semblance assembling us before their very eyes

They say that even your expressions are the same as mine... And I’ve never carried any doubt as to whether you were mine, I’m the last person whom needs to hear that I can't deny you; everything from my hair down to my jaw line don't chance a lead to such denial. Besides, you are my world... But are you the world's attention I always knew I'd find girl?




84 84

You will say all womyn are beautiful and this may be true, but I never knew a woman beautiful as you are.. You guard the humanity of your god pure of heart, I must filter the prints of my most verbose spittings to maneuver clean longing to caress the one I want even in words, it's a treasure, to enter a Goddess, a Queen, even-with-words; to be Incepted by your human:being

a pleasure to shake your hand if it is all that will be mine; I can understand that you belong to your people, our women need you They need to know they are beautiful, they are... although none are beautiful as you! and if ever comes my time of day with, you


85 85
will have to forgive me for bringing shade to you sun ray, because you are the most beautiful woman I've ever known, Want I to need you my own … that said, I would have said all I used up all my time anticipating to say, so in turn, from me it is all you'll need to know! you have taken your make-up down, at times you raise it up again. It takes you time but I know it doesn't bring you anywhere with it you are wearing slacks and flat shoes but I know that there are sets of lingerie that would go with your new short do, and I'm sure that in fact.. they do But I am a man and I do not have to tell you our battle is not the same, nor will I tell a thing when you are saying something and you are not speaking to me! Because I love to hear you say all womyn are beautiful, woman it's not that I ain't listening.. you hear? I love how you and I have the same relationship with time; how it can beat us to the razor by a few days and whether that's what blows my mind, I cant say... It’s the only thing I cant fully understand in a way... God knows there are some beautiful womyn in this world... but there's just something about you girl... there's something about you...


86 86

FAST Disappeared from the apparent, and returning it is apparent, I am a Man... in reflection upon the temple of my familiar; suppressed in the familiar, sweating out it's command back from the company of a woman I feel.. impulses tranquil to a journey; present to her presence, dis-inviting my self to the absence of her will toward desires reserved for a man in a man's world, stocked with familiar concealings of savagery for a feel of a feel healed of a feel up, held down.. restraint of any inquiry of the hands, phallus, the jaws, had transitioned to a discipline dismembering persuasions construed up by the source fiending her obedience to a cordial pacing for it And from restraint spawning discipline, transformed the struggle to a quest; the radiance of my temple through my familiar flesh absolving to a camaraderie in her sisterhood If you've ever had a powerful Sister feeling you, you feel what it do... solvent of rugged condensation


87 87

fighting familiar notions of a whimper, the vicarious discovery that to be a real brother one doesn't have to cripple his spirit or resist safety in emotions Feeling in touch...

For what it was, I disappeared from the apparent to return familiar with whom I have submitted to sharing, in a universe unfamiliar with the fully human yet rooted in the prodigal legacy of the soul

Feeling in touch...

For what it was, I disappeared from the apparent to return familiar


88 88

Drama, love, feuds power struggles, love, louder love, that silent love too, corrupt, foul vow of trust, the lust love voluptuous, rider love, the love struck


89 89

Karmic Retribution Hindsight doesn’t forgive itself Before it marks it’s ditch in the future It’ll neutralize the manipulator Sooner or later, to hurt. I’ve lived and I’ve learned Giving concern to whether all I took For granted, leaves you stranded still, as though compassion will revoke The hand I dealt, or revive the man, it killed.

Couldn’t live fessing to spin you So I let you choose what you Were getting into, meaning; I reset the rules Whenever you seemed to be rekindling And left till you’d agree to un-commit to me Never once in recognition That you offered unconditionally, What I’d coerce to expect, if it wasn’t given; I see, how I, was living…

Wasn’t long before I really fell in love With a woman, who was my prototype, Then was left by her, when it occurred I swore to know the role she’d like I’ve become withdrawn in my wrongs Although I’ve grown to know what’s right, I’ve found it hard to move on but you probably know what that’s like


90 90
Man to Man

Next time is now Man Next time is now

Abreast the shameful hurt that's going to possess your pain for her,

Dont you let us down My Man, don't you direct your conscience to step around the Sister at his hands, show him some love and get that Man to the ground, where he stand

For once and for all liberate your God from the beast in you, that keep the


91 91

weak aloof; meet this dude at his wall, and walk it into the floor; speak him into retreat or beat him till he bawls

this one cannot slide, you cannot let it go.. you know it's not alright to suppose she's his business, and he's his own; you know that it's a lie to say it's out of your control; we know you know we know.. you know we know you know

It's time this discussion begin my friend it is time that Brothers heal; it's time he know you're butting in when you got to keep it real


92 92
because there may not be a next time but that all depends on now, and it's going to be too late if you don't leap the cowardice; because there just may be a next time, until which coming 'round will have brung you down to her eyes hung, on a powerlessness you've vowed to desist fronting 'bout

come to your feet, up through the noise, confront your boy, approach with poise hug him and lead him from his voice out front by the street, then sum him a choice

either to leave so he could breath or simply avoid continuing, or pull up his sleeves and leave the beef where it linger between: him and me, me and him...


93 93


Dresser drawers of course Oughtn’t be where infants sleep But the more the story was told me In its grave quip, I have to believe Sensibilities recurrent of fairytales are what animated life to smile out of it . So when the tears broke down To meet, consciousness where my face saw it off, it was because my brother was back in those drawers, and this time; With the wet frightened quiver I do Remember taking my fist years along, Up where I couldn’t reach for’hm this time, ... ... . . . . . …this time with, a face . . I was lost, I had found, on the intrinsic nature of my anger; led up to the conclusion I am upon today, one, which came in Esperanza's consolation .OF COURSE I had to have seen you pummel, bludgeon her; OF COURSE we heard your knuckles when you swung at her...


94 94

What is ordinary about being forced to harbor an infant from a toddler? I WAS THERE TO WITNESS WHAT THE MONSTER'D DONE

uncovering trauma, of imagination over the spook like a sheet, jigging off the protectorate of Fatherdom Esperanza let me see -our toes impatient, damn near clapping we're ok, she's ok, we're ok so what happened, was... "We used to have to hide your Brother" . . The pause would have let you in to listen to what a demon sounds like with your hands, and your eyes, as he cries to an epiphany, you'd have sit listening, to the other side of the story llorando, the tinting of his heart swelling under Mother's cheek bones on Brother; your son I wish it had never occurred me how come "El mismo del Pai" was always followed by "Ai !" I shun to think about what shivers down the vertebrae


95 95
of the accounts I learned behind blinks around her mouth, sounding out bruised fables; colors, shapes, shades...

although I am sure, those walls couldn’t show you the floor collapsing in her chest when you look her way everytime I look her way; anymore than you ever saw the hate your gaze projected in the behavior of babies, Esperanza helped me assess could never be born with hearts that beat meticulous as these recollections of me inflicting harm from a reminiscing Mom to whom we listened on, rocking rocking rocking

under the pressure of toeing between what she speculated we remembered anyway, and what she was hoping we'd have rendered to O'Henrietta's day for a dresser draw -er deep security pending the laughter of her children


96 96

I will hold you

Flaca, how do I hold you I am thrown for a loop such a big presence and your back in my hands is begging I ask how I could hold you without, like how do I hold you so you know I wont impose my will, and still feel you all in my possession Your drama became my drama as you spoke of surviving I felt it lock my body up and set onto my eyes, flood el barrio in my blood, on my life this is mine I got this and know it wasn't that you had no one to go to it's that Flaca, la casa in their bones couldn't host you How do I hold onto a nomadic force the universe revolves around it's like asking how could I hold the sun, how do I hold onto you woman

How do I


97 97

I couldn't help you let go without holding you, and if you told me different I wouldn't know what to do but feel powerless hoping it were enough that I listened How do I hold you Flaca how do I hold you in a manner that appreciates how you are holding your own with all that you've been through, pick your head up amor I just want to be sure you're in flight and wont let your arms fall to the only heights you could fly to before, go on cry, pero let me make sure you dont fall from your eyes mira me mas, look at me more let me hold your eyes in mine... and help me do this por favor I am going to hold you in my arms, on the floor Let the night unwind leave it all unwind leave it all


98 98



Swimming in hell fire out of currents in the crest of a hock of phlegm bringing down the life in her sight, far gone

He was relieved by how it seemed almost like, you could see it leave

from the duress at their baseball bats; terror, escaping from the threat, falling, like her dress

at the behest of strange men who paid, then, drove away;


99 99

The little boy

who so wishes he never wouldve joined

in such mischief...

under highways he's written checks that bring them by, to play with his kids


100 100


Knew a, grown woman, who fell apart once Yes I'm sad to know I once did But privileged to have, you must know, The whole pueblo should be told who she is The mask on My eyes she did lift I haven't reclused back Behind ever since She's my swagger; are the confidence That I rap it to these mamis with The whole pueblo should know who you are… She mothers a man in my heart When sly time to blink open the smile Like blinds curling up to sunshine, Cuando la lengua grinds a nod to the room, When it's mine the guiding hand assumes It's you Why there's rhythm, why there's dialogue, How I know firm embrace by moist inch, Moans and giggles stop to kiss in the middle and we continue at lip when we're through because of you!

I'm needing her to know it too


101 101

The pueblo __must know__ you are one of these women, who go falling apart, running, for lord knows what bundled with bags __after the bus, walking as she hasn’t most the years boys arched behind have been alive, standing where her ass perks her up on her phone somewhere outside, waving her eyeballs around, ducking her head and heaven knows why waving her eyes side to side, like a baby saying a lie All the hood knows her, long as they have by what's gone around the latest word How baby I wish they'd remember you as their native daughter, their sister at church

A mother of men of her own Sometimes I lament with A willow in my spine Seeing you crying somewhere alone though I know you're the run of minds more tangible than a promise is, for nostalgic pleasures that wont come around with them

Why shouldn't they have been horizons striped ____on her wool stockings and sunshine's glare goggling her stare?


102 102

Why did I take it there, where psychosis suspends the deranged?; as if the gold lit in your heart had corroded to the makeup flaking your face and sent the cracks splitting up your nails... While her words chased helium in her veins I could have ____come up with a way, of giving back all your time festering on my mind I know a woman I'm not so sure knows Who she is anymore than I knew Whom she was before the pieces of her released me on stilettos, I picked up on, as I gathered you were letting go... Since you've bade me your crazy adieu a good part of me regards me detestable in reflection of what i've left of you Wooed, Sexed; ___susceptible to dry up in the soul; como un guiro

A woman fallen apart, beneath a wife and mother becomed...

on top of a home she's on the sneak from for a place to plant her feet… on the run, to return in one piece


103 103

Highest Form of Flattery

A toast

To the porcelain figurines,

Now waiting on me

to conceal my dysfunctions

With a ring


104 104
Walking off

Her eye improvises still in eve's whisper off the tail of the butterfly I climb in the stutter of time seized in remembrance of what the eidolons of love have got to be a drifter behind retinas in the palms of my mind stopped to see the true impression of an omen she's looped the essence of the moment The breath of her tone wove me like sex to the moan of other women couldn't then left me alone atop the legs of pedestrians. What echo's in sentiment insists I’m the extension of him and we're a stretch from us pulling to tell if we look through to an opposite ends of two wells. well, what every spell above me now must've knew well was me flooding out her screening brow would come to me coming-to under clouds which intuit a sullen dew as her eyes silently ski away

And on the stray, I can hope all I want


105 105

she sulks a note stars quote through a low sky, I’ve been the sand, sea and shoreline before her eye watching the bottle float by…

while reoccurs the vibe that with goodbye we’ve cuddled for sleep in passing retreat air bubbled in the sheet seeps,

And the minute fancies wind kids with me encouragingly, I don't care anymore than 'bout why the horizon stares;

smoking, bare, dry in it's glare with everything that paces by behind you don't see nothing but the cold between

denying your heart it's every attempt at a hug, knowing you see where you're going... lashes sent to hold you

leaning on, crashing wet shattered love


106 106

That woman is running a lead Again, wandering me for fire, Circling my mind feeding the motions To starry nights... how I Wish she'd make my day a symmetric cast out of the intensity to keep her eyes aligned where they are, at least till its me playing out of her dreams


107 107

Where Do You Be Where do you go to find my love ? Do you carry an eye with your bag on the ave, with your swag do you carry, swing, swat, trace an eye for me out there somewhere?

Where is it you be where am I going to find you finally Where do you go to find my love? Where can you be found searching the flirt immersed in the scene of personality you observe is he; the person that gives words to what you are thinking, keeps you open to him listening to you speak until your heart skips a beat when are we going to lose what's been happening between us and complete what only seems sensible for two bending towards a lean across the table, against a table?


108 108

Where can you be found searching around, where can you be at the time i'm at the place i'm at Where do you go to find my love ? Is it the bookstore or the bar, the cafe or the beach, is it the theater, is it the roller rink, the park, the pier, is it in the hall or the library ? do you direct an eye for me in the dark before a screen, over a magazine, through the steam of your tea or down the bench through the branches of a tree for me out there somewhere?

Where can you be found searching around, where can you be at the time i'm at the place i'm at ? Where do you go to find my love? Where is it you be

where am i going to find you _finally


109 109

You Have An Admirer Unrest pri-ri. Pri-ri. Pri-ricked at Tap tap tapped on; Lunged off off off off Another morning lost: to worrying Whether it seeped from under me Or I was even given the floor Another morning lost to a noon nightfall Lonely as I've ever been: Unrest lofting along the parameters of my skin will wear it thin until I see you again…

I am hardly straight when a leap of faith spurs the days dormant flesh from the moment Hardened straight I've been a boulder in my abode with you, waiting on black skies to empty through the stream of unconsciousness we hence re-route where there is only us, But now, loneliness, abound parameters of an hour sifting by on it's way with


110 110

your book in your bag, zipper to your neck And the grace in your swagger:


To feel me up

Using your smile and your voice

To lure me for the evening

And leave me back to you in the morning


111 111

In The World How ever many 'bodies' one might claim to have could once be spoke in inference to the murders that man's committed

What's it a sign of that on the back of a bus, inquired was "how many bodies you got", by some teens

priding whom they've been with…

I've heard them cut, stab, and dig; hit and beat; bang, pound, smash, crush, who they fuck


112 112
but beyond it being obscene, what's it mean, in a time when trading blood is dropping us like knees at love's mercy; the universe, reciting words, we're living..

It, isn't my motive to preach, i'm not from, some time of innocence, I was 9 or 10 when I lost my virginity

turned the lights out from Catch-and-Kiss to 7-Minutes-In-Heaven, and in between reggae, made our legs into butterflies wings

and while that mightn't sound dangerous we fingered abrasions the same, our grips squished the will to abstain…

I'd never dis-encourage young people from experiencing, life, as an open expression;


113 113

now, a life sentence, that's a different thing!

I contemplate the future an age I fare to must live; age old and love remains destructive.. out-of integrity with the spirit of giving birth unto a world corrupt in fear of love; like what we feel

is what we fear about us.

Where are there signs to confront our kids, How’ll they resign to caution of Appeal to violence With how we’ve disappeared

Into our silent oblivions? How’ll they ever know me to be More than a body, if in the seat nearest them That is all I’ll appear to them


114 114

WET Nightly consumed by textures which so illuminate, nostalgia keeps awake my extremities of passion dry in your nectar and neck high along your skin like the belly of a serpent; what immediate most sensation my memory envelops is penetrating the hours eroded where we once lay...

where, since, they draw me away from another day back for irrigation to that montage array in your heat when I was a rock, and the moment: a mason building to climax over in my sleep

.was what rhythm rode had me wincing, holding steady, corralling it's motion, holding when you broke it down! my focus gathered at the tip; what sent the barricade crashing was catching sight of your fists clenching


115 115

and the sheets rippling reverberation up your back with my hands on your hips when you broke it down!

Between such satin invitation and dick in the witches black dress there's been a whole lot of lonely love...

and while kissing my lack of rest I can fathom no less than being holding; know my only: we float shadow up from dusk... morning rush that follows us through the train gushing flush in what clutch

let me know in flux you flood between cusps


116 116

Flower Peddles on The Floor

Today, I stared at your picture all day long,

You were looking at me...

Between love poems and porn Between your breath and mine conceiving a baby to name, and we have yet to've even agreed on how to introduce each other to whom you wish me to meet to whom you wish me to meet;

Lover Lets saunter to our graves court me to my resting place in your trembling eyelids in your fists, flower peddles on the floor flower on the floor flower peddle to the floor, do you


117 117

I will tuck the universe away in your box, and turn into a kiss when you are ready to call it a life...

love me not? Or do you love me too?


118 118

Your eyes are a well I wish to be stranded at the bottom of When it's your face from which the prairie molts out Warming to the orange tint, of the sun through the lids Upon whom you're thinking about


119 119

WWISYA Years, it has been sending days that turn a glimpse by, at the last time we fit our faces around space between us, like the tagging of eyes off a kiss on a kinetic sidewalk...

and still, I have yet discovered so much as a hinging impression . that you ain't something . of the most stunning presence within a trajectory of beauty, to ever hold my breath... A long time coming, back to the sly curiosity settling in your smile, telling me it's been awhile telling me there's something about me, which perhaps, has wandered you too; wondering under each moon


120 120

seemed questions came and caught every stray I gave slack, from the pulse, beating me to stalling sips tonight; You know I noticed... I noticed you know, I noticed you so

Man, you walked onto the window, then, without time for me to have you there forever you brought my stare into me; the door, and eventually ...Another day will escape the days of my life, that matter for something, of relevance for you inevitable as we know this off hand, i couldn't go another weekend before addressing a question which has remained in suspense since we became friends: When will I see you again? When will I see you again?

I just couldn't go without addressing the question When will I see you?


121 121

Coney Island Tide Cacophony of Joey, Cocolo, Jesus and Santos Pa's homeys' Reverb, dated to my ears crowding to a kaba, up with the pushbacks and fros strapped hold atop Pa's neck like a koala

Etched shavings of their Brooklorican accents blown out the clouds, probably sound out of me like I don't even imagine; litter a memory relative to how it might chill, her someday…

Over and again scattered, I reacquaint spacious, if not barren amidst the score of the merry-go round and ricketing coaster saddened over spring as the shadows cast from giant sharded tents behind For-Lease signs

The ambiance of disco queens post disco, contrived to freestyle's go on the rides, the day of hiphop kings, and affixed souls The Himalaya'd spin on a high.


122 122

Sirens come the police engine vrooms patched on the back of leathers Stillwell rumbled in strangling beads; yelps out commotion so deep, who but our babies would imagine us celebrating? abound the quiet laughter gurgles in her scream she is thrilled, exhilarated, real elated really happy Every little thing i can do to deflect my little girl's crystal glare from reflecting a look at me, unprepared for what's happened to this place; dependent upon my face, to jolt if it stops, with the bumper cars resonant on 'El Dorado' fading a trailer's smoker-vox to the everpresent edifices of NYCHA's reservation Still around, still Brown and run down as the hookers who've disappeared entranced on the hard, in ripped leotards; as the warrior tribes of Pa's day, arriving with knives and chains in their cadres; as the first dates, and the birthdays, and the off days of students, workers, congregants and preachers, entrepreneurs and artists from where we found a safe-space to come, here…

gone, receded over the years


123 123

like the sands pocked by sudsy crests of waves swiping shells and bottle caps of grains planting the hour at my feet

walking the R.Moses possessed developers' new frontier, tween the cyclone.. wonder wheel.. past stretches of dirt that are as much a memory as skin graphs, where Astro Land Park used to be; front page of The Brooklyn Papers that reads of a new Coney Island, rolling by like, tumbleweed with my baby coded slick in the print of cotton candy, eyes scoped on what her finger is pointed for; having the time of her life with whatever she needs to accompany her wherever she'll be, in my absence

Behind her


124 124


And folding in between,

on whim with every notion I still remember broadening to a spectrum

my covenant to love you with every last finger you could count on;

A brilliance, of age from exuberance matured out of the anxiety once

interlocking our hands;

..humble ...One with you dear


125 125

Patch Work

Soons Once rushed me to Calm

Fridays Saturdays Sundays’ Dusk meeting dawn On a trust gone fleeting Once once became enough For me to just sleep…. So I know My angel, I know Deep as you’ll dream it Into the demon that sifts in Where we part at my bus, It will not be enough, To -just believe. I will not keep you up To have you imagine yourself In my hands above me if I wasn’t coming... I know, My Heart, I understand as much As you’d feel if the illness I'd be ill in the stomach with


126 126

Conditioned how you’d deal; It wouldn’t be enough to Just Come to grips With the windowsill I Found my own spirits lifting, For a glimpse of my hand waving his eye When I tell you I’m coming It will not be a lie, I do not give My father’s goodbyes... and that's why, I need you to smile for me My star in the sky, my sunshine Though, you know, it’ll be a little while For as long as I’m alive I need you To keep that sigh from me, because I’d be watching myself cry on front of me, from within a stable of emotions which know not where to run, between the shell of shame I couldn't bare to become... and self blame staring from you my child I'm with you right now ready for sleep as soon as you lie down


127 127


The sun followed me home Across my life along planes And highways

To tell me it will always love me With a glint on photos of A smaller me

And those of Mother Tinted tamarind

I awaken from daydreams With the crook of rays beaming Heat around me, I’m awoken

Mornings to this conscious stream… Wide awoke and Longing To come ‘pon what it means


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 10 12 14 15 17 18 20 21 22 24 25 26 27 29 32 34 35 36 38 40 44 45 46 47 49 50 51 52 53 54 Daydream of you Untitled Night Terrors Untitled Su Cara Where We Meet Untitled We Live Things Fall Apart Loosened Let Untitled Pleas To The Riveter Untitled Avertedized A Prude Tickings Dem Bones To Gether Oedipus Rex Untitled Juicy; Hardrock The Horizontal Merengue Shake Resinin Untitled Some Kind of Power There’s this picture, Of Gracie Always you’ll Remember To The Hush Take Two IM Untitled For Your Sake Untitled Ahiy Trail Struck Your Kiss Give Me Bees That Way Untitled 55 57 59 60 61 63 65 66 Capturer I Used to be a Silent Lover Word If You’re Worthy Placing Words Ought to be Simple Closer Untitled A Poem I Wrote

69 Somebodies 74 100% 79 But Colors of Restoration 81 A Brush of Wonder 84 Untitled 86 Fast 88 Untitled 89 Karmic Retribution 90 Man to Man 93 Monster 96__I Will Hold You 98__The Crucible 100 Incubus 103 Highest Form of Flattery 104 Walking Off 106 Untitled 107 Where Do You Be 109 You Have an Admirer 111 In the World 114 Wet 116 Flower Peddles on The

118 119 121 124 125 127 Untitled WWISYA Coney Island Tide When She’ll Know Patch Work Awake






Tony Rivera graciously covets the title, Poet, although he favors himself to be recognized an Artist/Educator. A Social Justice Activist, Tony dedicates much of his energy and resources supporting programs working to empower People of Color, Womyn, Queer Folk, and Youth. He is currently spearheading an anti-violence/ anti-sexism Young Men’s Toneare@gmail.com Group in his native New York City.

-Elevator Wall Paper – 2010


Sign up to vote on this title
UsefulNot useful