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Renesmee Cullen follow through.
I shuffled through memories in my head, looking for the one memory that had had me gasping for air every time I relived it. I didn’t have to look for long, as soon as I thought of Jacob I remembered every detail. It’s funny how one bad memory can completely push any good memory into the dark. It was the only thing I could see when I thought about Jacob, none of the happy things, none of the good things, just that one moment that single handedly tore me to shreds. “So… are you going to tell me or not?” Nahuel sighed, rolling on his side to face me. I copied his movement, and readjusted my weight so that the bed re-molded to my side. I didn’t like talking about it, this storm cloud that always hovered over my head, so I placed my hand against Nahuel’s warm cheek.
I shut my eyes, concentrating on what I wanted to see. I rewound back to a few days before it happened. I was sitting on the bonnet of Jakes new car, one that my mom had gifted to him for his birthday. I was glad they had stayed so close, but I had a feeling that I might have had something to do with that. If Jake hadn’t imprinted on me then I don’t think he would have stuck around for so long. I was looking out at the sea, I loved First beach, it had always been my favourite. Jake jumped up next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I leant into his side, inhaling heavily and closing my eyes, absorbing his smell. He leant down and whispered in my ear, his smooth voice telling me he loved me. I smiled at him and just knew. I knew what I wanted at this moment. What I wanted to do with him. I leant over and kissed him fully on the lips, our tongues moving in sync so perfectly. He was like putty in my hands, and I took full control of his hands, moving them where I wanted them. I slid them under my dress, Jake running them up my thigh… The vision blurred out of sight, and Nahuel looked blankly at me. I dropped my hand and rubbed my eyes. “I don’t think you need to know the rest of that night.” I said, looking over Nahuel’s shoulder, staring at the wall. He nodded and gently pulled my hand back to his cheek. I re-focused on the next morning.
Mom and Dad were out hunting when we got back that night. We waited at the living room table for mom and dad to get home. I knew it wouldn’t be long, their note said 9pm and it was already 8.47pm. My nerves were going crazy; I didn’t know how they would react to the news about me and Jake. A little while later, I heard their footsteps on the forest floor not to far away. Jake straightened up and wove his fingers through mine. I
could feel waves of anxiousness being admitted from his body. Mom and Dad walked through the front door, and at any second now dad would pick up on what I was thinking. What I predicted was exactly what happened.
Dad picked up a chair and threw it at the wall, watching it shatter into tiny pieces. Mom put a hand on his shoulder and asked him to calm down, obviously understanding by the looks on me and Jake’s faces and dad’s reaction. Dad struggled to control his breathing as he sat next to mom at the dining table, opposite us. He was glaring at Jake, probably thinking about all the different ways to kill him. Mom just looked at me calmly, no hint of anger or disappointment on her face. She turned to dad and put a hand on his chin, twisting his face to look at her. “We knew this was going to happen one day.” She said, “And I don’t see the need to overreact Edward.” “She’s our daughter, Bella.” He snapped, his eyes burning into my forehead, trying to get me to shift my gaze from the table to his eyes. I didn’t budge. “We know Jake loves her, and the bond they have is just as strong as or maybe even stronger than what me and you have.” She replied a little bit more sternly. “That makes it OK? She’s too young!” Dad pushed his chair back loudly and started to pace back and forward across the room. “How do we know she wasn’t rushed into this? For all we know she didn’t even want to!” He yelled. Jake brought his fist down hard on the table and narrowed his eyes at dad. “Don’t you dare think that I would ever pressure Renesmee into doing anything she didn’t want to do.” Jacob shouted across the room. I buried my head into my hands and let a few tears fall onto the table. Jake released my hand and stroked my back. “Do not touch her.” Dad said in a low voice, jabbing his finger through the air at Jake. There was a light knock at the door, and mom stood to go get it. She returned to the room with Rosalie and Carlisle behind her. Rosalie looked around and turned to mom. “What’s going on?” She asked, pulling a chair towards me. She placed it next to mine and rubbed my shoulder. “Ness?” I didn’t lift my head. I could hear dad running through the story with Carlisle and Rosalie in a fast low voice. Rosalie gasped beside me and stiffened up. “Edward, stop, that’s not what happened. Jake did not force her into doing anything with him!” Mom almost yelled. Rosalie released her frozen stance and stroked my hair. “Like hell he didn’t! I can read his thoughts, and he’s been desperate to get into Renesmee’s pants ever since she looked of age!” Dad shouted back. That’s it, I’d had enough of him blaming Jake, making Jake look like the bad guy. I stood suddenly and marched over to dad. Rosalie and mom followed, standing a few steps back. Jake stayed at the table, fists clenched, breathing heavily. I looked over at Carlisle who was standing behind Edward, and he looked at the floor.
“Dad, stop!” I hissed. “This isn’t Jakes fault. I wanted this to happen! I love him so much, I would crawl over barbed wire just to hear his voice.” Jacob flinched and let out a quiet growl. “No you wouldn’t. You shouldn’t be that serious, you’re only 6!” Dad whispered back. “I’m not 6. A 6 year old wouldn’t know that their dad was acting psychotic for no good reason like you’re doing now. It’s fine. It’s my choice. I had sex with Jake, and I’ll probably do it again because it’s what I want, and you can’t stop me!” I yelled. “It. Is. Not. Fine. It is anything but fine Renesmee. I can stop you! You are not going to see Jacob anymore!” “Over my dead body.” Jacob snapped. He had risen from his seat and was standing at my side, twisting his arm around my waist. “I can make that happen, mut.” Dad took a step towards Jacob. Jacob gritted his teeth and started to shake. “Edward!” Mom hissed, and was quick to stand in between them. “Stop this now. Carlisle?” Mom said, turning to grandfather, “Can you please take Edward some place else? He needs to calm down and I need to sort this out.” Carlisle nodded and tried to tow dad out of the house. “Come now son, I think it’s best if you leave now before something happens that you will regret.” Carlisle said softly but with a tone of authority. Dad was reluctant at first, but gave in after a few seconds and followed Carlisle out of the house. Everyone was quiet for a while after he left. Finally, Jacob shook his head and looked down at me. I was still staring at the place where dad had been standing. I hadn’t shifted my gaze one centimeter. “Are you okay?” He asked, rubbing my back. I nodded and wiped my cheeks, surprised that I had been crying the whole time; I thought I had stopped crying when I started to yell at dad. Jake pulled me into a tight hug, resting his chin on the top of my head. I could hear his heart beating through his skin, and leant into his chest some more. “Rose,” mom said, “I think you should go tell the others what has happened, and to watch out for Edward.” She pressed her fingers to her temples, and rubbed them. Rosalie smiled half-heartedly and flew out the door. After the sound of her silent steps was long gone, mom looked over at me and Jake. I pulled my palm up to my chin and drummed my fingers against my lower lip. “Jacob.” My mom said calmly, “I think it’s best you say goodbye to Renesmee before Edward gets back.” Jacob growled in response, and mum held her hands up, palms forward. “I just mean for now, nothing permanent. I’m sure Nessie’s tired too.” “Bella-” Jake started, but mom interrupted him.
“I’m not angry or disappointed Jake, it was Nessie’s choice. We will talk about the rest tomorrow, without Edward.” “Ok.” Jake looked down at me and hugged me again. “I’m so sorry Ness. I didn’t mean to get you into this much trouble. We shouldn’t have-” “Don’t say it Jacob. I’m glad that it happened. It’s not your fault, at all, so don’t blame yourself.” I looked around to find my mom gone. “She’s gone to find Edward.” Jake mumbled. “Listen Ness, I love you, you’re more than I could ever dream of. I love you so much. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you. He can’t stop us Nessie, it’s me and you forever, ok?” I knew that wasn’t true. If dad wanted to, he could stop Jacob from ever looking at me again. Jake knew it too. He brushed his lips across my forehead and let a few tears fall again. “Don’t cry.” He said, lifting my chin and wiping under my eyes gently. “I have to go, I love you.” Jake kissed me softly on the lips then turned to leave. He stopped at the door and tried to smile, but it didn’t work. Then he turned and disappeared into the darkness. I started off towards my room not bothering to close the door. If there were anything out there then I would let them come and get me, hopefully kill me quickly, because I knew this was a losing battle. Jake and I were going to lose. I fell on my bed and started to breathe through my mouth, trying to prevent the hyperventilating that would soon come. Then I started to cry, sobbing heavily into my pillow, and I didn’t stop until sleep took over.
Nahuel stared at my hand, which was lying limp beside me again. My eyes were threatening to spill over again, so I shut them for a while. “Was that why…” Nahuel started. I put my hand back to his cheek.
I woke up later that night, and mom and dad were arguing downstairs. I went down to talk to them but dad just looked away. He didn’t want to talk to me. “Look dad, I know I’ve let you down, but you let me down.” I said. Mom came and stood beside me, putting her arm around my waist. “Renesmee, you’re grounded. For a month, and I don’t want you to see Jake anymore.” Dad answered quietly. I felt like my skin was being ripped off, my whole body stung. This was so unfair. “N-no!” I stuttered. “No! You can’t do this! I’m not going to stop seeing him, I’ll be grounded, do whatever you want, just not that!” “Renesmee” Dad sighed, “You know I don’t want to make you unhappy, but this is best for you. You either stop seeing Jake, or we leave Forks.”
I turned to mom; she was looking at dad with shock across her face. I started to cry again, but I didn’t give up, he couldn’t do this. “Best for me?” I shrieked. “No, it’s not best for me to tear me away from the person who makes my world worth living, the person who is my world!” “He’s not your world. You’ll find someone new somewhere else. You’re not to see him and that’s final.” My breathing got heavier as I took in my fathers words. Without realizing, I flew across the room faster than ever and shoved him as hard as I could. He stumbled back into the kitchen wall, and hit it with a crack. He lost his balance and slid to the floor. I hoped it hurt. I had always loved my dad, but he had done it now. I wanted him to know how much I truly despised of him right now. “Renesmee!” Mom gasped. She ran over to me and pushed me behind her. “I hate you! I hate you!” I yelled at my dad, backing towards the door. My mom helped him back to his feet and turned to frown at me. “Renesmee stop this no-” She started. “No. And don’t think that I will ever forget that you’re letting him do this to me and Jake.” I screamed. I turned and ran to my room. I wanted to run so much further, I wanted to run to Jake.
I hand slipped away from Nahuel’s cheek, and I shook my head. “Too much?” He asked lightly. I nodded and gazed over his shoulder again at that plain wall. “Maybe I can tell you the rest tomorrow, I’m tired.” I said, yawning on queue. “I better be off then.” Nahuel said, springing off the bed. “No!” I half yelled. “Stay or I won’t be able to sleep, not in this room anyway.” “If you want” Nahuel said, flopping down on the bed beside me. I hummed along to my Band of Horses CD playing from the lounge, and slowly drifted off to sleep. That night, I dreamed the rest of my story. The part I hadn’t shared. The painful part. “Why hasn’t Jacob called me back? Did you do this dad? Mom? Did you guys tell him not to call! Not to see me? I saw Quil at the Reservation, he said Jacob didn’t want to see me, that’s a lie, Jacob always wants to see me. You guys said something, didn’t you? You told him to stay away. What did you say to him! Tell me!” “We didn’t say anything to him Renesmee, we haven’t seen him since last month.” “You’re lying!”
“No she’s not Ness. Your mother is telling the truth. We haven’t seen him since that night.” “Renesmee, honey, sit down.” “Why?” “Just listen to your mother Ness.” “Honey, Billy called a few days ago. He said Jacob couldn’t be with you anymore.” “What? Why would he say something like that?” “Because Jacob asked him to.” “No, that’s not right.” “Nessie, all I know is that Jacob took off. He told Billy to tell you sorry, and that he couldn’t see you anymore. Billy doesn’t know where he’s gone, only Leah and Seth do, and they’re not going to budge.” “Why would he just leave me? He loves me, I know that, so why would he leave? Jerk. Why! Fucking stupid imprinting dog. He can’t leave me!” The dream blurred into the next part of the story. “Renesmee! Stop! You’re breaking all your things!” “I don’t care. I want them broken. I want them shattered into a million pieces!” “Your father has gone to get Alice, you said you wanted to talk to her.” “I don’t anymore, I found another way to deal with my anger!” “Nessie please. Stop this.” “I can’t.” “I don’t think you should do that Ness, it’s one of the most precious things you own, Jake made it for you.” “Which is exactly why I have to get rid of it.” The memory slowly slid away, allowing me to dream of the next bit. “Alice, tell me how to stop loving him.” “I can’t Ness.”
“Then tell me how to make the pain go away.” “I’m sorry Nessie. I can go get Jasper if you want.” “No, it won’t work. The pain would just rip straight through.” “Please stop crying, he’s not worth your tears.” “I want to leave Alice. I want to leave Forks, and I don’t want to come back.” “Well I’ll talk to Edward and Bella.” “Thankyou.”
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