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of your advertising and marketing. What if you don't sell anything? Should you ignore this information? You ARE selling something. Whether you are a Real Estate agent selling multi-million dollar homes, or a worker trying to sell your boss on the idea that you are a valuable employee, everybody is selling something. So it would be wise to learn these secret tricks and use them to achieve your own personal success. The secret psychological tricks that I am going to reveal are not really secret. They have been used by shrewed salesman for millenium. Their existence was revealed back in 1984 by Dr. Robert Cialdini in his book "Influence : The Psychology of Persuasion". You will recognize these tricks being used everywhere in advertising today. Now you will be able to put them to use to enhance your own personal success. Psychological Selling Trick Number 1: Reciprocity Reciprocity works like this: you give someone something of value for free. That individual feels an obligation to return the favor. Reciprocity is a very powerful principle. To use reciprocity as a marketing tool, you give people something of value for free, they reciprocate by purchasing your product or service. But you would be surprised how many advertisers totally blow it. Either they don't understand the concept of "free", or they don't have total faith in the principle of reciprocity. For example, consider the offer "get a free camera when you subscribe to our magazine for two years." That's not free. Or, "free installation with a one year commitment." That's not free. The customer is paying with an obligation. No sale. Consider the offer,"receive the latest issue of our magazine absolutely free. No bill will be sent." If the prospective customer finds the magazine to be of value, they feel an obligation to subscribe. Or, "one month of free Internet service. No credit card required." If the Internet service performs well, the prospective customer feels an obligation to sign up. The trick is to create something that has high perceived value to a prospective customer, but costs you little or nothing to produce. Free information is a good example. Here again many advertisers totally blow it. The free information turns out to be nothing more than blatant advertising. Free samples of your product or service is another good example. Again, many businesses blow it. They either produce a cheaper version of their product to use as free samples, or they use the free sample campaign as a means to dump reject product.
The largest Internet Service Provider is well known for giving away hundreds of hours of service for free. No credit card required. The largest cookie company is famous for giving away free cookies. Reciprocity is a very powerful marketing strategy. Psychological Selling Trick Number 2: Scarcity Scarcity works like this: There is a limited amount of the item available. After those are gone, the item will not be available. "urgency" implies Scarcity. For example, "this offer will be honored only for a limited time". The effectiveness of the scarcity principle is well demonstrated by the large segment of the population involved in pursuing antiques, collectibles, and memorabilia simply because these items are scarce. Scarcity is often contrived, as when a company produces a "limited edition". For example, when Disney releases a limit edition of one of its classic stories - yes, limited to a production of more copies than they could ever possibly sell - then it goes in the "vault". And how fortunate we'll be a few years from now when they decide to do us the favor of taking it back out of the vault. Note: Manufactured items, especially DVDs and CD-ROMs, cannot be "scarce". It's a simple matter to put the manufacturing dies back into production. All scarcities of manufactured items are contrived. One popular incarnation of scarcity is the "going out of business sale". Customers somehow don't pick up on the fact that the mark-downs are not that great, or that the store has new merchandise coming in the back door to take advantage of the increase in traffic. Scarcity is a very powerful marketing tool. There are many ways to contrive scarcity. You can create a limited edition, or for items like information products, scarcity can exist in the form of urgency by creating a limited time offer. Psychological Selling Trick Number 3: Commitment Commitment involves getting a prospective customer to take a tiny step towards a goal. For example, you might get them to request free information, or fill out a survey. When the prospective customer takes that first step, they have made a commitment, however tentative, towards the goal you have set out for them. They are likely to take another step. One example of this process is the "two step" method used in mail order. When a mail order marketer runs an advertisement, they don't even try to sell the product. Instead, the advertisement offers free information. A prospective customer makes that first commitment towards purchasing the product by requesting the free information. The free information they receive is designed to entice them to take the next step.
Another example of using commitment as a marketing tool is a survey. By checking a few boxes and answering a few questions, a prospective customer takes that first step towards a commitment. The result they receive from the survey is designed to entice them to take the next step. Yet another example of using commitment as a marketing tool is a lottery. For example, people enter their name and address on a ticket for a chance to win a new car. A salesman uses that information to contact them. By entering their name and address on the lottery ticket, the individual has made a commitment to own that new car. The most common example of the principle of commitment are those long-winded full page advertisements in magazines. The prospective customer invests a great deal of time reading through the entire advertisement. That investment of time represents a commitment. They are likely to take the next step, responding to the advertisement. To use the psychological power of commitment in your advertising, don't try to sell your product or service in your ad. Instead, use a survey, contest, or free information to get a prospective customer to make that first step towards a commitment to purchase your product. Psychological Selling Trick Number 4: Consensus Consensus involves getting prospective customers to believe that "everybody's doing it". Everybody is just waiting in line to purchase your product. Everybody can't be wrong, so the product must be fantastic! Of course you're smart enough to know that everybody CAN be wrong. Everybody thought that SUVs were safe vehicles (they roll over). Everybody thought Enron was a great investment (it went bankrupt). Everybody thought Iraq had weapons of mass destruction (well maybe not everybody). You're an independent thinker. Here are some examples of headlines using the consensus principle: "It's the new sensation crossing the country", "People are signing up in droves", "People just can't get enough of them", "Record sales", "Unbelievable response!" and "Join millions of smart consumers". Combine this with a stock photograph of a large group of people, a long line of people, or a crowd of people, and you have a powerful consensus message. Note: Many people don't think they're having fun unless they're in a large, noisy crowd. Unfortunately, every large crowd contains a few lunatics. When things go wrong, the crowd stampedes and people get hurt, or killed. When I see a large crowd, I head the other way. Fortuately, most people are not independent thinkers. They act like a herd of cattle. Use the consensus principle in your advertising, and people, like lemmings headed for the sea, will come in waves to buy your product. Psychological Selling Trick Number 5: Authority 3
Authority involves getting prospective customers to believe that someone who is knowledgeable or famous uses your product or service. If a knowledgeable or famous person uses your product, then it must be fantastic! The bigger the authority, the more powerful the advertising message will be. For example, doctors are authorities. "Most doctors prescribe Tylenol for arthritis pain". Large organizations are authorities. "The National Heart Association says - Quaker oatmeal is good for your heart." The Federal Government is an authority. "The U.S. Food and Drug Administration says whole wheat bread is part of a complete diet". If only we could think of a way to use God as an authority! Here's how to use the principle of authority in advertising: search the Internet for any references to your product or service. Find an article that alludes to your product being of value. For example, let's say you sell black T-shirts. You find an article by the U.S. Department of Agriculture that says "bees are attracted to bright colored clothing". Your copy: "The U.S. Department of Agriculture that says my T-shirts protect you from attack by stinging insects." Most advertising using the authority principle is taken out of context and exaggerated. Some advertising uses totally fake authorities. "My dog biscuits are recommended by the International Association of Dog Nutritionists" (an organization I started last week). Some advertising uses a "study" as an authority. "A recent study found that my lemonade tastes better than any other brand" (my mother liked it better). I don't recommend that you use a fake organization, a fake study, or take information out of context or exaggerate, but if you can locate a legitimate authority or study related in any way to your product and quote it without exaggeration, you will have a powerful authority message. Psychological Selling Trick Number 6: Greed Greed involves taking advantage of many peoples belief that there is a secret short cut to wealth. They believe that wealthy people didn't earn their wealth, instead they know a "secret". Note: I am not recommending that you use the principle of greed because it is used by unethical scammers. I'm simply informing you of it's existence in order to make this series of articles complete. The simplest method of using the principle of greed is the chain letter. You have no doubt received a chain letter at some point. A chain letter contains a chart specifying the massive amounts of money the recipient will get when they follow the instructions. The first instruction is to send money. The multi-level or network marketing scheme works similar to a chain letter. The prospective recruit gets a chart showing the massive amounts of money they will receive when they join the network. After parting with their money, the victim is instructed to con their friends and relatives into joining. 4
They prey on people who believe there is a secret short cut to wealth. Many people don't understand statistics. Then describe each block as a simple task and show that by following a number of simple steps you can progress to the goal. People who have been ripped of by this scam a thousand times before will. and greedy. Remember. How does this work? Consider when you are enthusiastic about something. The prospective customer is required to send money to get the plan. In their mind. For example. You can artificially create the same feeling in someone else. you need to keep focusing on the outcome. He thinks this is a huge and risky task. like hypnotized zombies. If you want someone to do something for you. You don't necessarily think of all the little tedious steps you have to take to get the job done. a number of scenarios are presented and for each a course of action is suggested along with Risk strategy example. lazy. A casino allocates only a tiny portion of it's customers money to winnings in order to create the illusion that the odds of winning are good. Never divulge any details of the plan in the ad. Here are a number of scenarios and solutions to help you get what you want. and they make hundreds of millions in profits. you focus on the goal. the phrase "win a million dollars" translates into "get a million dollars". Diplomacy There always comes a time when you want to influence others. How to Influence Others and Get Them to do What you Want By Ehsan Honary . Run an ad describing how the plan requires absolutely no work to make massive amounts of money. Another example of the principle of greed is the business opportunity scam. The odds of winning most lotteries are about the same whether you buy a ticket or not.Another method of using the principle of greed is the lottery or casino. In this article. You think of it in general blocks. send you their money. May 16. We know it works because successful scammers invest millions to run business opportunity infomercials. You may need to use a variety of psychological tactics depending on the situation and the person you are dealing with.Wednesday. The way to use the principle of greed is to contrive a "secret plan". by dividing the task into bigger 5 . Because you are enthusiastic. Some scammers include pictures of fake checks or fake bank statements. Include a few bogus testimonials and a legitimate looking chart that shows the massive amount of money the plan will bring. They think THIS TIME they will receive the REAL secret plan. You need to make it easier for the other person to make the right choice. so they deserve to get ripped off. 2007 1206 Views :: 1 Comments :: :: Psychology. what matters is always the end game. suppose in Risk. you want to convince a player that it is not really a big deal to invade somebody else's continent. The typical plan instructs the purchaser to run the same scam. The principle of greed is very powerful. How would you persuade him? Solution: Divide the task into a few blocks of activity. The scammers think people who fall for their scam are stupid. the choice that you desire. Scenario: You want to make a task look easier than what it is.
Of course another popular technique is to give someone a deadline. Computers are good at number crunching and can quickly end up with vast number of options that they need to select a solution from. you have to think how you can distribute them on the borders. take away some of the options humans may have. Combine deadlines with limited options and you will get very quick reactions. Create the same feeling in someone else and they wont do it either. simply because you can't be bothered to do it. You may say. and they will end up deciding much faster. Then. Perhaps he needs a bit of help to get out of his dilemma. If you want him to make a deal with you. there is no guarantee that all other players wont start attacking you as you have become more powerful. For example. The more choices there are. getting Europe suddenly sounds a lot harder than it was before. The AI can perform much more efficiently in a smaller search space than in a larger one. This means you should carry on making defensive moves for quite a while. However. Always put yourself in your opponents' position and see how can you help them to make a decision that is most appealing to you. Would you tell him how much better off he will be if he listens to you? What if he doesn't care about it? What if he doesn't trust you. They reduce the search space artificially. Scenario: You want to get someone to listen to you.blocks and show him how easy it is to carry them out. Scenario: How would you get someone to quickly decide on their actions? Solution: Take their options away from them. you can divide the task into lots of little steps. the more time they have to spend on the problem and the more undecided they will get. It's as if he is undecided. Scenario: You want to make a task look more difficult than it is. At least twice the size of armies you want to destroy. Similarly. As an example. "You can either say yes or no. or thinks that you must be up to something. Even though the reduction is artificial and may remove some of the good solutions. he is hesitating. here is the Risk strategy." As you can see. "If you want to conquer Europe. so you can protect the whole continent from counter-attacks. To help them. Even when you have got Europe in control. 6 . first you need to prepare lots of armies for the invasion. your Risk opponent wants to conquer a continent. What would you say to stop him? Solution: As explained above. This is a common issue when designing Artificial Intelligence (AI) as well. and you have only 2 minutes to decide!" Scenario: You have carried out all the hard work to convince a player to make a deal with you. what would you do to push him to the finish line and make the handshake? Solution: Give him an incentive. Imagine when a task looks boring to you. AI designers usually use a simple trick. Giving a freebie at the right time can be an incredibly effective tool in tilting the negotiation towards you. Humans like to make perfect choices. so that no one takes advantage of your new vulnerability. you also have to reinforce your original borders. The sheer number of steps may prohibit him from taking the action. Every little step in that task becomes a huge issue. it is still better than having all the possible options. Meanwhile.
Alternatively. you might tell him that I promise I will not attack you. Would you just ask them. Put up a picture of your dog (or even a friend’s pup) in your workspace. As a result you have to let them know up front that the decision is theirs. they may completely give up on you. To seem like a team player at work . For example. Of course if you want to influence their decision. they not only tend to presume you’re loyal. Research shows that too many personal shots make others perceive you as a less professional worker. and don’t smile as often as you’re inclined. You are here only to assist them in reaching that decision by providing facts and pros and cons on both sides of the argument. or that if you cooperate with me I will be on your side. you can tell him that by spreading too quickly he may end up weak and vulnerable. Scenario: Suppose you want to persuade someone to do something for you.. This is known as reactance.. -The navigation can't become worse than this. but they may also act more loyal toward you. To bond with the boss . they may choose to do the opposite for the hell of it. or even force them to do it? Solution: It is well-known that if you limit someone's options to a point that they are forced to follow your advice. • Research shows that the second method is much more effective. he only makes the situation more difficult for himself as you will not help him.Solution: There are generally two ways to go about this: • You can tell him about the gains he may get by listening to you. You’ll be seen as assertive and directed. 7 . They can then make the decision themselves. Wear a chic all-black outfit to work. 1. the customer gets extremely annoyed and will not deal with you any more even on other products) just as a matter of principle. Or that if he doesn't cooperate.. 3. When people look at shots of a pet dog.. To appear more powerful in the office hierarchy . in Risk. For example. 2.. By focusing on the negative aspects of the decisions and losses. But don’t paper your cube with canines. Just to show you that they are not bullied. you may stand to gain more than if you tell someone what you can do for them instead. Anyone who has ever tried to sell something knows that if you go too far in selling something by adopting forceful tactics. Basically hard selling is bad.. you can focus your argument on what he may not get as a result of listening to you. while the act of keeping a neutral face is associated with higher status and power in a work environment. Offer to get her a hot cup of coffee — even if you’re not her assistant — and chat her up as she’s drinking it. Studies have found that people in black uniforms (like sports teams) are viewed as more dominant figures. you would need to bias the pros and cons so that heir decision leads to your preferred choice.
. Your slob roomie to clean up after herself more often . That means that he’ll be more likely to be open and disclose his true feelings to you. Here in the UK we tend to keep eye contact around 60-70% of the time. she’ll implicitly assume you’re an emtionally warm person — someone very likeable. like they've got a bit of vegetable stuck between their teeth or a dew drop hanging from the nose. author. 7. You can also use this straight head position when you want to be authoritative and what you're saying to be taken seriously. 5.. Experts say that as you talk about their hero in a positive light. tilt your head just a 8 . 8. such as a political figure. A Dutch study recently proved that the faint smell of a cleaning product will spur people to start picking up the area around them. Take him to a restaurant that has soft feminine colors and furniture with few angular lines. Just don’t hand her an iced latte or you could trigger a frosty reception. Maintaining good eye contact shows respect and interest in what they have to say. this seductive I-feel-likeI’m there speech will make him associate your personality with the lush sensations you’re describing. . And because they’re looking at you. as it makes you feel good almost instantly. get your posture right and you'll automatically start feeling better. We like to see ourselves in other people. when you want to be friendly and in the listening. 6. Researchers at New York University found that when you’re sitting across from someone who’s unconsciously shaking his foot.A recent study showed that just by holding the high-temp liquid. Top Ten Tips: Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of dealing with others. it will give them a feeling of comfort and genuine warmth in your company... To seem more alluring when you meet a guy . so be careful in other countries) By doing this you won't make the other people feel self conscious.. any less and you give off a signal that you are lacking interest in them or their conversation.. You can also prime her by squirting a little fluid in the bathroom sink before she goes in to use it.. Subtly touch the back of his hand as you’re reaching across the table for bread.g.. especially people we've just met. they’ll subconsciously link you with that person’s positive traits. Talk about a beach vacation you took using sensual terms (e. receptive mode. Start mirroring her behavioral tics. (However. if you start moving yours in a similar but unobtrusive way. take a look at how your standing or sitting.. It’s a proven way to win someone’s affection: Libraries and car dealerships have higher customer-satisfaction ratings when workers imperceptibly touch their clients. To make a friend out of an acquaintance .. Casually praise someone whom you’re certain his mom or dad holds in high esteem. like touching your hair when she touches hers. To make your crush fall for you on a dinner date . or celebrity.. “The sun felt so fabulously warm against my skin”) to paint a mental picture about the climate. Conversely.. Chances are you'll be slouched over with your shoulders drooping down and inward. Touch activates the human desire to bond. When you want to feel confident and self assured keep your head level both horizontally and vertically. To have "the talk" without making your partner flip out .. Head position is a great one to play around with. any more eye contact than this and you can be too intense. 9. Posture is the next thing to master. then the person feels more positive toward you. Researchers think that simply being in this kind of an environment can influence a person to behave in a more feminine way in terms of communicating. This collapses the chest and inhibits good breathing. To impress a guy’s parents the first time you meet them . According to psychologists. Next time you notice you're feeling a bit down. which in turn can help make you feel nervous or uncomfortable. with yourself and others. Instead. Spray a bit of liquid all-purpose cleaner in the air right before she enters the skanky spot in question. there are wide cultural differences. 4. your targets start to think about all the qualities they admire in that person.
palm down is very important when it comes to handshaking and where appropriate we suggest you always offer a handshake upright and vertical. friendly and interesting and angle ourselves away from those we don't. you've got two ears and only one mouth. me. Mouth movements can give away all sorts of clues. so observe if in a group situation how close are all the other people to each other. Hand gestures are so numerous it's hard to give a brief guide but here goes. if at all. we are not in complete control of our angle at the cinema because of the seating nor at a concert when we stand shoulder to shoulder and are packed in like sardines. which should convey equality. You can shift the tilt from left to right at different points in the conversation. they will get a feeling you were not to pleased. emphasizing and possibly aggressive.little to one side or other. Just be aware that the last position mentioned is known as the "Figure Four" and is generally perceived as the most defensive leg cross. Ears. Obviously if someone says something that gets your goat. Palms slightly up and outward is seen as open and friendly. so keep your arms out to the side of your body or behind your back. This palm up. The quieter you are the less you move your arms away from your body. Also notice if you move closer to someone and they back away. Arms give away the clues as to how open and receptive we are to everyone we meet and interact with. They tend move around a lot more than normal when we are nervous. especially if it happens as someone tells a you something that might be of a slightly dubious nature. There are also different types of smiles and each gives off a corresponding feeling to its recipient which we'll cover next time. When you want to come across in the best possible light. In general terms the more outgoing you are as a person. We angle toward people we find attractive. it's that simple! Angles includes leaning in or away from people. Palm down gestures are generally seen as dominant. For example. especially at interviews or work meetings. If you listen twice as much as you talk you come across as a good communicator who knows how to strike up a balanced a conversation without being me. no in front of others. Distance from others is crucial if you want to give off the right signals. me or the wallflower. crossing the arms is a no. so try to use them in that order. it will probably be spotted by other people and although they may not know the comment. stressed or being deceptive. Be careful too in the way you cross your legs. We purse our lips and sometimes twist them to the side when we're thinking. Stand or sit too far away and you'll be "Keeping your distance" or "Stand offish". look for a sequence) Angle of the body in relation to others gives an indication of our attitudes and feelings towards them. especially when there is no movement or bending between the wrist and the forearm. you're probably just a tiny bit too much in their personal space. So. However. consequently they're the hardest bits of our bodies to consciously control. Do you cross at the knees. even though general terms most people can't move them much. So best to keep them as still as possible in most situations. Neither are what we want. ankles or bring your leg up to rest on the knee of the other? This is more a question of comfort than anything else. then by all means show your disapproval by crossing them ! Legs are the furthest point away from the brain. try to strike a natural balance and keep your arm movements midway. Nevertheless. or moments after. yes your ears play a vital role in communication with others. Another occasion we might use this movement is to hold back an angry comment we don't wish to reveal. "You've overstepped the mark" and should pull back a little. In these situations we tend to lean over towards the other person. 9 . (As always. the more you tend to use your arms with big movements. as we often just tilt from the pelvis and lean sideways to someone to share a bit of conversation. Stand too close and you'll be marked as "Pushy" or "In your face". This shows you are not scared to take on whatever comes your way and you meet things "full frontal". their comfort zone.
Your feelings will actually reinforce your new behaviours and feelings of weirdness will dissipate. You might sit with your legs almost ridiculously far apart or sit up straight in a tense pose all the time. Try to loosen up by shaking the shoulders a bit and move them back slightly. Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out. Try using what you can learn from them. And people aren’t looking as much as you think. Yeah. But fake it til you make it is a useful way to learn something new. Then try it out. it might seem silly but no one is watching you. If you slow down your movements you’ll feel calmer. Keep your arms and legs open. Don’t cross your arms or legs – You have probably already heard you shouldn’t cross your arms as it might make you seem defensive or guarded. That’s ok. how you stand. what you do while talking to someone. Observe what they do and you don’t. These are some common interpretations of body language and often more effective ways to communicate with your body. If you smile a bit more you will feel happier. 10 . If you are not used to keeping eyecontact it might feel a little hard or scary in the beginning but keep working on it and you’ll get used to it. open and relaxed or whatever you want to communicate. You might also want observe friends. You’ll probably want to use your body language differently when talking to your boss compared to when you talk to a girl/guy you’re interested in. 3. to change your body language you must be aware of your body language. attractiveness and general mood. Improving your body language can make a big difference in your people skills. See yourself move like that version of yourself. 4. they are worrying about their own problems. This will give you good feedback on how you look to other people and give you an opportunity to practise a bit before going out into the world. here is just a few of many pointers on how to improve your body language. Have eye contact. give them all some eye contact to create a better connection and see if they are listening. They might move up and forward a bit. There is no specific advice on how to use your body language. Don’t be afraid to take up some space – Taking up space by for example sitting or standing with your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in your own skin. depending on the setting and who you are talking to. You might want to practice in front of a mirror. Some of these tips might seem like you are faking something. 2. If you sit up straight you will feel more energetic and in control. First.Continuing from the previous post 6 reasons to improve your body language. Relax your shoulders – When you feel tense it’s easily winds up as tension in your shoulders. In the beginning easy it’s to exaggerate your body language. movie stars or other people you think has good body language. Notice how you sit. Take bits and pieces you like from different people. 1. Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure. What you do might be interpreted in several ways. practice and monitor yourself to find a comfortable balance. role models. And remember. but don’t stare – If there are several people you are talking to. Just play around a bit. feelings work backwards too. how you use you hands and legs. This goes for your legs too. Try to relax. Another tip is to close your eyes and visualize how you would stand and sit to feel confident.
6. Use your hands more confidently – instead of fidgeting with your hands and scratching your face use them to communicate what you are trying to say. But don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker. If someone addresses you. Don’t fidget – try to avoid. don’t invade it. when the two of you get a good connection. 7. smile and laugh when someone says something funny. Keep you whole spine straight and aligned for better posture. Or lean back too much or you might seem arrogant and distant. Your spine ends in the back of your head. Smile and laugh – lighten up. 17. they might think that the spine ends where the neck begins and therefore crane the neck forward in a Montgomery Burns-pose. Lean. don’t hold anything in front of your heart as it will make you seem guarded and distant. Lower your drink – don’t hold your drink in front of your chest. don’t snap you’re neck in their direction. However. sit up straight – but in a relaxed way. But don’t be the first to laugh at your own jokes. Don’t touch your face – it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the listeners or the people in the conversation. 10. 14. And don’t let your hands flail around. you might lean 11 . That means that you mirror the other person’s body language a bit. you will start to mirror each other unconsciously.5. Realise where you spine ends – many people (including me until recently) might sit or stand with a straight back in a good posture. If you want to show that you’re confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. turn it a bit more slowly instead. 16. Declutter your movements if you are all over the place. Lower it and hold it beside your leg instead. you’ll seem insincere. 8. You’ll seem nervous and fidgeting can be a distracting when you try to get something across. But don’t use them to much or it might become distracting. it makes you seem nervous and needy. Mirror . Don’t slouch. Smile when you are introduced to someone but don’t keep a smile plastered on your face. don’t take yourself too seriously. Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon. Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make. 12. Slow down a bit – this goes for many things. To make the connection better you can try a bit of proactive mirroring. phase out or transform fidgety movement and nervous ticks such as shaking your leg or tapping your fingers against the table rapidly.Don’t keep your eyes on the ground. slow down and focus your movements. use them with some control. Try to relax. Relax a bit. If he leans forward. Don’t stand too close –one of the things we learned from Seinfeld is that everybody gets weirded out by a close-talker. it might make you seem insecure and a bit lost. People will be a lot more inclined to listen to you if you seem to be a positive person. 13. Nod when they are talking – nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. Walking slower not only makes you seem more calm and confident. 11. Let people have their personal space. not in a too tense manner. Keep you head up . it will also make you feel less stressed. but not too much – If you want to show that you are interested in what someone is saying. 9. 15. lean toward the person talking. In fact.Often when you get along with a person. But don’t lean in too much or you might seem needy and desperate for some approval.
You can change your body language but as all new habits it takes a while. Reading her Body Language Well who cares whether she is interested in you or not? You will soon get her interested in you! But why not have fun along the way? Watch her body reveal her thoughts as she moves from indifference towards affection. Keep a good attitude – last but not least. keep on until it sticks. Her hair: • • • She pushes her fingers through her hair. She protrudes her lips and thrust her breasts forward. while others run the tongue around the entire lip area. this is often combined with a smile and some eye contact. Her eyes: • • • • • She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated. She raises both eyebrows exaggeratedly for a couple of seconds. she blinks more than usual. She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance. keep a positive. Eyebrows raised and then lowered. Take a couple of these body language bits to work on every day for three to four weeks. 18. And if you try and change to many things at once it might become confusing and feel overwhelming. you might do the same. This can be one hand movement or more of a stroking motion. Here are some of the most obvious things you could be looking for! Her lips: • • • • • Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face.forward. She is throwing her hair back off her shoulders. If not. She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you. then a smile indicates interest in you. While talking to you. Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue. She wets her lips. open and relaxed attitude. But don’t react instantly and don’t mirror every change in body language. By then they should have developed into new habits and something you’ll do without even thinking about it. fluttering her eyelashes. Her clothing: 12 . How you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major difference. Then take another couple of things you’d like to change and work on them. licking her lips or touching of her front teeth. If she holds her hands on her thighs. some women use only a single-lip lick. She puts her fingernail between her teeth. Especially things like keeping you head up might take time to correct if you have spent thousands of days looking at your feet. For information on how make yourself feel better read 10 ways to change how you feel and for relaxation try A very simple way to feel relaxed for 24 hours. wetting the upper or lower lip. Then weirdness will ensue.
This indicates that she's thinking about you and her relating in some way She is fondling keys. She is fixing. you catch her glancing in your general direction (actually. dumbass).every once in a while she seems to appear out of nowhere in your vicinity and if you move to another spot. palm up. She blows smoke straight out from between her lips and toward you. She rubs her wrists up and down. Her hands: • • • • • • • • • She exposes the palms of her hand facing you. Micellaneous: • • • • • • She mirrors your body language and body positions. She laughs in unison with you. She sits with one hand touching one of her breasts. playing with toys or other things on the table. patting or smoothing her outfit to make herself look better. She is sitting with her legs open. shoulder. sliding hands up and down a glass. Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth towards you. She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours. glancing at YOU dummy!:). In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you. Her legs are rubbing against each other. While talking to you. She is pretending to look at her watch as you pass her. she bumps into you. thigh. accidentally. She sits with her legs crossed in a manner to reveal her thigh. accidentally etc:) 13 . while holding out her other hand. She plays with her jewellery.• • • If she is wearing clothes that show her nipples underneath and you notice they are getting perky and erect. just like in junior high school. Her voice • • • • She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours. She touches your arm. She leans over and speaks into her friend's ear. hips slightly thrust forward. Her legs are rubbing against the leg of the table. one foot behind the other. The hem goes up to expose a little more leg. especially with stroking and pulling motions. She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm. soon she appears out of nowhere again. she rests an elbow in the palm of one hand. or hand while talking to you (in case you already haven't started yourself. At a party . While she is seated: • • • • • • • She moves in time to the music. She is standing with her head cocked slightly at an angle. touches you. Her skin tone becomes red while being around you. with her eyes on you.
14 . head tilting. You may be surprised to learn about behaviour you weren’t aware of. Chin jutting. without too little or too much focus. and adapting your movements. an intense questioning session with a friend is useful for noting any negative body language that occurs under pressure. breathing patterns and expressions accordingly. Body language is used to express our conscious or subconscious thoughts. and can be as subtle as a sidewards glance . any gesture or mannerism we use to express a non-verbal message can be considered body language. So how can you fine-tune your body language for success? Before your next job interview. as playing with unneeded pens or papers will only betray your jitters. and decreases your risk of sending mixed messages. “But if you want to gain more self-awareness. is a great choice. but with body language counting for a large part of how people perceive us.” says Kelly.When talking to a girl. friendly and accepting cues can also help you create a winning perception. and face touching can all threaten job interview success. even eye blinking . But if you find yourself forgetting your words.or as obvious as a slap in the face. Additionally. so place one hand on your waist and gesture with the other to control any nervousness. When it comes to the job interview itself. ask a friend to identify any potentially distracting habits you may have such as playing with your hair or drumming your fingers.” And if that’s not enough to give you an air of self-assurance. Kelly recommends creating instant rapport with the interviewer by being sensitive to their body position or pose. concentrate more on yourself. such as foot-bouncing or lip-biting. shoulder shrugging. fiddling. “Viewing your body language as other people do is a valuable experience. do you? Body language tips for job interviews Waving hands or twitching face muscles might not be the first things you think about when preparing for a job interview. And keep your spare hand free. learning by example increases the likelihood that your actions will be read as you intend them to be. interest and confidence. these are some of the more important signs to watch for: • • • Can you keep conversation going with her? Does she react well to Does she touch you? Does she laugh? Well if the answers to most or all of these questions is "YES" you really don't need further guidance. stage a mock job interview with a friend and video it. actions really do speak louder than words. According to Michael Kelly of Kelly Speech Communications. arm-swinging. Bear in mind that swaying. Kelly says that observing confident people and modelling their open. Next. Maintaining good eye contact will also help impart trust and understanding: a steady gaze that conveys alertness.they all fit the profile.
but if you can 'point' at the interviewer with your knees or your feet it shows you're focused right in on them.Finally. To avoid that staring-like-a-serialkiller mistake. Steer your body Crossing your legs loosely is fine if it makes you feel happier. two palm-to-palm pumps and good eye contact will create just the right impression. Your manner and your dress sense certainly say a lot about you. Flipping the chair round and straddling it is also perhaps just a little too cocksure. Good effort. “A cool hand. instead use a moment to get comfortable. and at the very least your interviewer will think you know what you're talking about. but your body could still let you down. Body language for interviews So you're not drunk and you've made the effort to polish your shoes. especially if you're wearing a skirt. the perfect handshake. it'll encourage your interviewer/s to feel at ease in your company. Maintain eye contact Keep it true and steady. but remember to blink. firm grasp. an interest in their mouth may persuade them to think you're hitting on them. Relax into your chair The way you sit conveys a lot of subtle information to the people on the other side of the desk. An equal handshake This is a tough one to call when greeting someone for the first time. but if you can mirror their grip it avoids any dominant/submissive vibes. 15 . and kick back like you're at home on the sofa. Any further south and things start to get a bit intimate. So sit up straight. form a mental triangle on your interviewer's forehead and make sure that your gaze doesn't drop below eye level. Use your hands If you can be physically expressive as you speak it shows a certain confidence in the stuff you're saying. is all about finding a happy medium that you’re comfortable with. and let TheSite help you send out the right signals. If you look relaxed. Just be careful not to take it to extremes. So don't take the seat like it's Old Sparky.” says Kelly. like most body language. Use your hands to roll out your answers or give shape to your ideas.
the iron-man bonecrusher grip. 2. you may send the message that you have a desire to dominate the interview. try to inconspicuously wipe them against the seat cushion upon rising to shake hands. Your hands are warm and reasonably free of perspiration. and even applying a little talcum powder. The handshake itself is executed professionally and politely. Certainly biting ones nails or fidgeting with ones hands could be distracting from what you are trying to say. with a firm grip and a warm smile. When we are in stressful or uncomfortable situations.Body Language Sending Signals Without Words Body language is extremely important in an interviewing situation. Some would argue that it is just as important as what you say and what is on your resume. The following are tips to help you give the right non-verbal clues. EVERYBODY LOOKS BETTER WHEN THEY SMILE! 16 . smile confidently. The ideal handshake starts before the meeting actually occurs. many of us have habits that can be distracting to other people. this is not a good impression to leave with one's potential boss. however. holding one's hand close to the cheek for a few seconds. do not pull back.) If your hands sweat a lot. Creating the right impression with the handshake is a three-step process. Better to wait a moment and allow the interviewer to initiate the shake. 3. body language can reinforce what you are saying and give greater impact to your statements. and make good eye contact. Why? Because we can learn quite a bit about people from their non-verbal actions. (There are a number of ways to ensure this. if you do. Be sure that: 1. Don't keep shaking! Be sure you put your hand all the way into their hand. Be sure to smile and make eye contact when you are shaking someone's hand. You only one chance to make a first impression. Remember that if you initiate the handshake. you will appear indecisive. Instead. • • • • • The Greeting Facial Signals The Hands Feet Seven Signals for Success The Greeting Giving a "dead fish" handshake will not advance one's candidacy: neither will the opposite extreme. Shake three times and then drop. These are examples of body language that can be harmful in an interviewing situation. including washing hands in warm water at the interview site. Your hands are clean and adequately manicured. Remember many interviewers have made their decision within the first few minuites. do not give a wimpy fingertip hand shake. This is one of the ways that an interviewer tries to size you up as a candidate. Used correctly. (If for any reason you find yourself initiating the handshake.) Use only one hand. make the best of it.
Watch out for hands and fingers that take on a life of their own. Make sure that you do not find yourself looking down or away. almost like a bob of the head to one side. (Rarely will an interviewer ask you to stop doing something annoying. "faking" a cough when confused with a difficult question. Tilting the head slightly. (Do not overuse this technique. Do not stare. and congratulate himself for picking this up before making the mistake of hiring you. Slower nodding. and/or gnawing on one's lips absentmindedly. paper. Everybody looks better when they smile. Offer an unforced. or your hair. Avoid at all costs the technique that some applicants use: grinning idiotically for the length of the interview. Proper use of the hands throughout the rest of the interview will help to convey an aboveboard.Facial Signals Most good interviewers will make an effort to establish and maintain eye contact. demonstrates friendliness and approachability. Employing any of these "insincerity signs" when you are asked about say. The Hands As we have seen. If you wear glasses. no matter what. Pen tapping or drumming of fingers is interpreted as the action of an impatient person. Women and men wearing slip-on shoes should beware of dangling the loose shoe from the toes. fidgeting with objects such as pens. be sure to buy the non-glare lenses (even though they cost more). confident smile as frequently as opportunity and circumstances dictate. he'll simply make a mental note that you are an annoying person. instead. unconsciously). The Seven Signals for Success 17 . It's worth remembering that the mouth provides a seemingly limitless supply of opportunities to convey weakness. a confident and positive handshake breaks the ice and gets the interview moving in the right direction.if only the interviewer would let you. Rapidly nodding your head can leave the impression that you are impatient and too eager to add something to the conversation -. shows that you are validating the comments of your interviewer.) Don't crack your knuckles!!! The Feet Some foot signals can have negative connotations. This will only communicate that you are either insincere or not quite on the right track. this is an example of an otherwise trivial habit that can take on immense significance in an interview situation. emphasizes interest. on the other hand. why you lost your last job. this can be quite distracting and. and subtly encourages him to continue. as it is a gesture often used to signal physical attraction. will confirm or instill suspicions about your honestly and effectiveness. it has no place in a job interview.) Your smile is one of the most powerful positive body signals in your arsenal. when combined with eye contact and a natural smile. This may be done by touching the mouth frequently (and typically. The tilt should be momentary and not exaggerated. "nothing-to-hide" message.
but what messages should be sent. Men like to draw attention by adjusting their clothing. encourages eye contact." he says. "Of course.to reproduce the positive signals your interviewer sends. but it may be true. or if they betray a sign that your date is praying for a natural calamity to get out of the situation. Reading the senses They say your eyes are windows to your soul. and tall upon entering the room. but you may have noticed anyway. never look down. Gaurish Korgaonkar. And.) Say the interviewer leans forward to make a point. if only you experiment a little. however. in the world of dating. You can look into your date's eyes and read if they show interest in you. 1. Once relaxed. you should never mirror negative body signals. in a way that says she wants to look appealing and make a good impression. leave. Ever been on a date where you get the feeling you're invisible? It's the feeling you get watching your partner check out every man or woman walking by. In other words. Relax with every breath. a touch on the arm is a big leap forward -. 18 .also known as body language. give (and. relies heavily on these 'vibes'. for instance. a few moments later. understanding this communication can be a huge asset. constant eye contact is vital." Restless eyes are not promising -. keep your head up and your eyes front at all times. Do not hurry any movement. receive) a friendly "eyebrow flash": that brief." To help those who do not have Alan's insights. "If she leans in while having a conversation. someone who is shy will need a little prodding and take time to relax. Sounds like a clich�. On the other hand. make an effort -. but you will learn that it is far from that. 3. and how? Here are seven general suggestions on good body language for the interview. It could have been subtle. when you do so. deliberately. 2. Maintain a naturally alert head position. Say the interviewer leans back and laughs. This technique may seem contrived at first. Use mirroring techniques.a sign that your date is comfortable with you. you "laugh beneath" the interviewer's laughter. 6. "I tend to look at my date and what she does with her hands. look confidently and calmly to the right or left. a 22-year old psychology major from Pune. Alan believes that any kind of touch communicates interest. taking care not to overwhelm your interviewer by using an inappropriate volume level. a 25-year old marketing executive based in Mumbai. 5. and (when accompanied by a natural smile) sends the strong positive signal that the interview has gotten off to a good start. a 28-year old who works at a bank in Mumbai. She could be running her hands through her hair. Jaya Bodke. finds this behaviour common in men as well as women. 4. If the lack of interest is obvious. This is because the part of the brain that controls the motor skills of your hands is right next to the portion that controls your speech. relies on eye contact.subtly! -. (Of course.the kind that constantly scan surroundings and fail to settle on you. at least on a date. hopefully. Alan D'Souza. you lean forward slightly in order to hear better. 7. thus drawing attention to their bodies. Walk slowly. Why invest time and effort in something that isn't going to pan out? Our everyday interactions are filled with non-verbal signs -. you know you're doing something right. slight raising of the brows that calls attention to the face. On greeting the interviewer. Remember to avert your gaze from time to time so as to avoid the impression that you are staring. here's what you should watch out for.So far we have focused primarily on the pitfalls to avoid.
Silence isn't always golden Pregnant pauses could have two meanings. Arms crossed over one's chest could be an attempt to warm oneself. smiling. 26. Jaya believes interest can be judged by participation. It can make you feel like a performer whose act has fallen flat and is now afraid to step under the spotlight. In a tearing hurry? Compared to the other signs. who works in Mumbai's hospitality industry. All theories on non-verbal communication clearly advise against using just one sign to judge. I feel Body Language is the most important language you can learn. it is unlikely that the two of you will hit it off instantly. You need to give it some time and not let a sign or two discourage you. If your attempts at conversation are met with monosyllables. They are bad if your date is constantly fidgeting or keen on finishing dinner and making a run for it. A lively conversation usually involves a lot of emphasising through gestures and facial expressions. The rest will take care of itself. although we had no common hobbies. "It was clear we had nothing in common. exercise caution when drawing your conclusions. They are good if combined with a lot of eye contact and smiles. depending on the situation and persons involved. It bypasses the verbal communication barriers and gives you an insight into what others might be thinking. or what actions they are likely to take. we had similar personalities. this is more subtle. A lazy response could mean your personalities don't match. As the evening progressed." he says. We soon realised that. According to Shubham Saraf.she called Alan the next day! While all these signs are insightful and offer an excellent advantage. rather than a gesture of defensiveness or discomfort. Observe and learn While these are some of the signs commonly sent out and interpreted. she started looking me in the eye. Making impromptu plans to extend your time is also encouraging. Even taking your time to order means you want to prolong your time together.A smile can say a lot Next to eye contact. while on a first date. However. 19 . "That is until we began talking about our friends. you could be headed for disaster." A little effort and things certainly clicked for them -. Can you read dating body language? Share your experiences nterested in learning how to read body language? Would you like to be able to tell when people are lying and understand people's intentions? This article will provide you with the top 10 tips for reading body language. a date's reluctance to leave is one of the most positive signs. a smile is the most important non-verbal sign we send out or receive on a date. It is our reaction to any pleasurable stimuli and is a no-brainer. Alan recollects a date where things were headed downhill. don't forget to relax and enjoy your time together. leaning in and using her hands to gesture. Moreover. A blank face or forced smile in response to your jokes is discouraging. Remember to take into account the external environment and other influential factors. there are many others that come into play. she kept staring at everything but me.
.Hands Open palm. Tip 3 . Generally when some ones hands are open it means that their defenses are relaxed. pick up the signals.Mimicking When you are talking to someone. and at the same time not let on to that person you are doing this. Likewise if they are gazing down this express's shame. As in most situations. When standing opposite one 20 .Remember that the art of being able to read body language is to be able to look at some one. Tip 1. Tip 5 . or it could mean that they are focused.the person is interested in the topic. It depends entirely on the circumstances at hand.Rubbing of the Chin If someone is rubbing their chin it generally means that they are thinking. . Practice makes perfect. Remember the eyes have so many meanings and it's easy to make the wrong evaluation. They can tell so much information about the person if you know what you are looking for. If you do the person will become uncomfortable.Eyes Dilated pupils . The example above could also mean that the person is on drugs. When folded the person is possibly angry or disapproving. the same signal can be interpreted in a different way. Tip 2. Tip 4 . The hands have many expressions and are a good place to start when learning how to read body language. if they are mimicking your body position and action it means that they are comfortable in the situation and most likely interested by you and what you are saying. People say that the eyes are the windows to the soul.the person is relaxed and comfortable. Tip 6 .Eyes If someone's eyes are gazing to the side it is a trait that they are feeling guilty.Arms The main two expressions with arms is that they are either closed (folded) or open.Feet When you are in conversation with someone you can tell if they are comfortable and interested by what you are saying by their feet position. When their arms are open the person is in an honest position and is accepting of the situation. Tip 7 ..
it can also indicate anger.Legs When stood up Legs are a good indicator of how confident someone is. normally the person is shocked or surprised. Drumming or tapping with the fingers indicates frustration. The same as when standing. When stood up with legs crossed the person is probably shy. Tip 9 . A pointing finger can either be someone pointing to a item or place. eading the Signs (of Flirting & Body Language) 21 . the greater the frustration and tension inside the person. This means that they are comfortable and their head and eyes will also be focused on you. Tip 10 . When the eye brows are raised. The more you practice the easier it will become and the more subtle you will be able to do it. Listed below are some examples. When someone flicks their eye brow up and down quickly they are greeting someone else or are showing they have acknowledged them. The greater the surprise the more raised they will be.another the other persons feet are facing in your direction. If someone is curling their fingers tightly they are usually pleading for some thing. If someone is standing with their legs shoulder width apart they are relaxed.Eyebrows The eyebrows have many uses. Tip 8 .Fingers Fingers can create many gestures and are great for reading body language. If the legs are open when the person is seated then they are in a relaxed position. When sitting down if the legs are crossed it shows the person is in protective mode. The faster the beating. When standing opposite someone their feet are pointing away and their head and eyes are not focused on you. This is very much used alongside crossed arm action. If they are standing with a stance wider than that they are a confident and are in a grounded position to show they are in control. I hope you have enjoyed learning how to read body language tips. They will most likely be nodding and agreeing with a fake smile. Remember reading body language is not a skill that can be learned over night. This means that the person n question is not interested and might even feel uncomfortable in the situation.
my dear Watson. Exposing her neck. the body doesn’t lie. The other 93% is nonverbal. As for the so-called “fairer” sex.” Daily says. Leaning inward or toward you. the foot rule also applies to women. body language is the smoking gun. Ego-driven comments about their successes in life (jobs. according to Mari Smith. It’s his feet. straw. pen or cigarette. a relationship coach based in San Diego.” Smith adds. look downward. author of “Stop Getting Dumped!” (Subtitle: “All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love With You and Marry ‘The One’ in 3 Years or Less. look for the following nonverbal cues from a woman: • • • • • • Extended eye contact and smiling (just like men). California.If you’re on a first date and you’re trying to figure out what Mr. Upright stance or posture. “He may have one hand in his pocket.” When you take the Sherlock Holmes approach to reading your date. or Ms. “Even if we’ve got our game faces on. their cars). Flipping her hair (with her hands or a twist of the head) or twirling it playfully. Tips & Clues Men send out the following tips when they’re interested in you. Extended eye contact. Grooming behaviors (straightening their ties. trying to sleuth out whether he/she thinks you’re hot (or not). In fact. Where the toes point.com. with his thumb sticking out.”) As it turns out. “Watch the feet of the person you’re attracted to.” says Lisa Daily. hands or palms. Crossing and uncrossing her legs. pulling up their socks). cash. Freud…) 22 . Potentially Right thinks about you. silly.” she tips AdamandDrew. Fondling cylindrical objects like the stem of a wine glass. according to Daily and Smith: • • • • • • Smiling. or tuck his thumbs in his belt. “The key to a man’s heart isn’t his stomach. “People who are attracted to each other subconsciously try to ‘line up’ with the other person. studies reveal that only 7% of our communication is verbal. (Paging Dr. Standing with their chests thrust outward and shoulders back (think of a giant preening peacock). Not there. the heart follows.
” Daily says. Daily takes it one step further. “When someone is not interested in you. “and typically men love it and gravitate toward the woman who looks the most fun.” “Flirting is how we communicate our interest—and how we connect emotionally before we connect physically. but it can sometimes be interpreted incorrectly by the ‘flirtee. it’s a sign of discomfort. she was probably just flirting for fun. your tone. traumatic breakups and consequent crisis periods often call for “a few Nora Ephron movies and two tubes of frozen cookie dough eaten right out of the package. “Generally. guys…) “Playful.” • • • Look for speech patterns that are wildly out of sync.’ The key is to pay attention to the tone of the flirtation and wait to see how the flirter responds if you try to take it up a notch.” she says. the speed and volume of your voice. “ When you synchronize your overall body language. The other obvious. voice and body synchronization to make others feel like they have a special rapport with you. We Have a Problem” “For both sexes. (Sorry. not-so-great sign is going in for the doorstep kiss—and getting a handshake instead. without going over the top. flirting is harmless.com.” he tells AdamandDrew.” says Daily.” “Use attitude. “If you give your date a hug on the doorstep and he or she pats you on the back.” (Ouch!) Positive signals are much easier to read: a concrete invitation for a second date. Smith believes women have the edge—and a lot more fun—when it comes to flirting.“Houston. a communication specialist and author of “ How to Make Someone Love You Forever in 90 Minutes or Less.” Translation? Create chemistry by mirroring your partner’s physical presence and verbal behavior. with firm plans—not just “let’s do this again” or “I’ll call you sometime. the bigger the pat.” Daily says. “He’s a slow talker. familiar and trusting with you. If she escalates the flirting in turn. who notes that distasteful dates. she’s communicating interest. The Flirt Factor Flirting with your date—and being on the receiving end—meets Sherlock’s criteria for irrefutable evidence that your lovely evening may evolve into a bona fide relationship. asserting that flirting is “absolutely necessary. “The more uncomfortable your date feels.” Smith adds. while she’s a thousandwords-a-minute. other cues foreshadow your relationship’s future. they will typically point their body and feet away from you and position themselves at a greater distance. Saying Goodnight…or Saying Goodbye? As your date winds down.” advises Nicholas Boothman. Defensive body language—arms crossed in front of the chest or hands subconsciously protecting the groin area. and even the type of words you use—as well as your attitude— people feel safe.” He encourages those he counsels to learn to “access—and rev up—your sex appeal. If she backs down.” she says. lighthearted behavior is really the domain of women. there are also signs that things are not going well.” she says. Someone who keeps looking over your shoulder while you speak. It 23 .
and that is a huge turn-on for women. arm. neck. she’s trying to impress you or look more attractive in your presence. People can subconsciously pick up if you are depressed. but you can still decode their inner thoughts and feelings anytime by skillfully interpreting female body language signals.Never cross your legs or your arms. If she starts fondling her face. Posture. chest. Slow Down. Crossing of the limbs means you are a closed perso n. She’s interested in you and wants you to make your next move. but your spine doesn’t actually end at your back. and your shoulders held back. Take up space.Observe What She Does To Her Hair. If you’re at a bar. or any other emotion you can think of.Watch Her Finger’s Actions. This says that you are a confident person. don’t be afraid to kick your leg up on a chairs peg next to you. take up as much room as possible. 3. Women may not tell you how they feel. alert. Tip # 2 on Interpreting Female Body Language . And you can decide right from the start whether you’ll continue to pursue the relationship. If you use these 5 quick-tips next time your out. she’s seducing you to take more notice of her. never be in a hurry. walk with a straight posture with your head tilted up a little. happy. calculated. If you’re lounging on a couch. Remember. With this ability. Tip # 1 on Interpreting Female Body Language . you won’t have to guess whether they’re enjoying your company or not. 4. So what does this mean for you? It means you are about to change the game with my top 5 body language tips! 1. and that’s what people will subconsciously pick up if they see you as such. shoulder.Always spread out. 24 . Here are 4 body language tips to help you determine her level of attraction to you. 2. it ends at your skull. and smooth. When attracting women. If she starts caressing or combing her hair when you look at her. the way we hold and present our bodies can give more messages then a regular chit-chat.This is one of the most important tricks that anyone can use. Eye Contact. did you know that 90% of all conversation is conducted by body language? It’s true. it becomes more of a job then something you enjoy. I guarantee you will see an almost instant in the amount of women you can successfully attract. thigh or leg in your presence. tired. body language can make or break you.Don’t jerk! Always make your movements slow.certainly pays to familiarize yourself with all of the signs of attraction so you know how and when to communicate interest—and make sure you’re sending the right message!” When picking up women. angry. the number one-thing to do is to just have fun. If she tosses her hair to reveal more of her skin. then there’s a big chance that she fancies you. Open. So from now on. the most important part of the pick-up is conversation.Not many folks know this. However. This says wonders about your confidence. Always look people in the eyes. and you’re not afraid of interaction. 5. Tip # 3 on Interpreting Female Body Language .Pay Attention To Her Body Position. If you get too caught up in the things you read.
then she’s attracted to you. you appear to be defending yourself against the others. beware when she’s leaning away from you. 25 . eye contact. Body Language Tips When Meeting New People October 30. Bonding.If she’s leaning towards you. Tapping – Tapping your foot or fingers suggests you are impatient or nervous. Both mentally more open minded and physically more accessible. What she does with her hair and fingers.People who are lying often rub their nose or look away when speaking. However. That means she’s trying to evade you and is a clear sign of disinterest. Watch your body language and control the unconscious message you might be sending. Tip # 4 on Interpreting Female Body Language . Take a cue from her actions and notice if she’s trying to captivate you. above. then that’s an even better body language sign. She’s mesmerized by you. handshake. 2007 in Body Language. If she crosses her arms. She’s conveying her attraction to you and enticing you to make your move. Here are some common body actions and the impressions they create: • • • • • • • • • Fiddling – Playing with your watch or a pen looks like you’re bored or impatient Clock watching – It looks like you’re anxious to move on to something else.When you have your hand in front of your mouth. Is she subtly revealing her chest. Use these body language tips in your girl-hunting pursuits and have a gre Communicating effectively means more than knowing what to say and when to say it. Confidence Tags: Body Language. can easily reveal her inner emotions. Interpreting female body language signals is very simple and easy. Rubbing your nose. thighs or legs to you? Even better. No eye contact . she’s putting herself in a defensive stance and wants to stay as far away from you as possible. you seem to have low interest or a lack of confidence. you appear timid. Communication involves the subtle signals your body language sends to those listening. is she stroking them? Is she always wearing sexy outfit that exposes more of her skin when she’s with you? Is she dangling one shoe with her feet while in a crossed leg position? Watch for these seductive body language signs. Confidence. Arms crossed – If you keep your arms folded during communication.) How you say things in communication is just as important as what you say.Keep An Eye On Any Seductive Movements. meeting The first step in attracting others into your social circle is being more open. (Don’t forget staring. If her shoulders and knees are pointing towards you. Staring – An unblinking stare conveys aggression Legs crossed or body hunched – Closing up your body profile —becoming smaller— looks like you lack confidence. Touching your face . looking away .If you won’t look the other speaker in the eye. as well as her body position.
Use the ‘social gaze’. but highly effective habits you should acquire. I’m sure you have guessed what this magical tool of communication is by now. 26 . feet or boobs. but equal. • • Smile. Initiate the handshake. as touching below or above the elbow will not yield the same positive results. As you do this repeat their name aloud ‘nice to meet you Jessica’. No Grinning or Pouting. subconsciously adding to the judgement the other person makes of you. not tilted sideways at an angle. This is simply. spanning the worlds continents it is known by everyone whether they are consciously aware of it or not. whereas the elbow is considered a more public place. Adjust their tilt during the handshake so both your and their hands are held horizontal. not what you say but how your physical body acts. You don’t want to come off as being dominant or submissive. focus on the areas created by an imaginary triangle formed by a persons eyes and nose. How you shake hands is very important when you meet someone. Don’t stare at their forehead. for three seconds. Touching directly on the elbow is important. and use whenever you are introduced to someone new. making that all important link in your mind. This will make the person feel important and valued. Here is a list of simple. (the hand with the palm facing down is the more dominant whereas if the palm is tilting upwards. • Make eye contact.Though verbal skills are important. No more than 3 seconds though. You will remember their name as you have time to identify their face with the name. but instead be taken as an invasion of privacy. yet knows no national boundaries. it is more of a submissive gesture) • Touch their elbow gently. whilst shaking their hand. For a start it establishes the power balance of the relationship. Grip firmly and pump once or twice. This language does have regional dialects. Maintaining eye contact and smiling throughout. Hold your hand out straight. If these cues are words then they form the most important language of all. which is indicated by the tilt of the hand. non-verbal cues are just as important in determining your success. Just smiling. Don’t put froward a limp hand or cut off their blood supply.
This feeling will be remembered when they think of you afterwards. The audience is confused. That’s to say forcefully adopting positive body language. and what comes out of their mouths doesn’t match up. They perform all the textbook hand gestures. often in their subconscious “I didn’t trust that guy. makes you more confident. and as a result people will be eager to continue their interaction with you. It won’t take long before it all comes automatically. However. Which is essential in developing your relationship with that person. as their state of mind at the time of meeting you and how you made them feel will be linked to you. Here are the 3 biggest body language presentation pitfalls. Both the feeling and projection of confidence rebound off of each other. but I’m not quite sure why”. calm and confident attitude will make the other person feel at ease and comfortable in your presence. then your impact on someone you meet for the first time will be great. sometimes we do give advice on body language for presenting. A confident person. Primarily as that pre-existing link that your body has between feeling confident and projecting it will be reaffirmed.If these steps are implemented properly. You will instantly stand out from the crowd. but by learning to adopt a confident posture you will be received as that which you set out to project. Here is the four-step process summarised for you to internalise. and what you can do to avoid them: 27 . Your cool. This is important. Secondly your confidence will be boosted as you notice people react to your presence differently. and neglect the content of their presentation. People can get obsessed by trying to look convincing or slick. Simultaneously your internal feelings of confidence will be boosted for two reasons. illustrating how mental processes of the mind are interconnected with the movements of the physical body. You are not a stuffed duck now but a social butterfly! Three essential body language tips One Minute Pause No 33 When teaching presentation skills at Natural Training we tend not to prioritise body language. • • • • Eye Contact Smile Initiate Greeting Touch/Name Repeat. Learning to concisely control your body movements not only means your more focused on creating a positive overall impression. This is mainly when there are aspects of a presenter’s body language that serve to distract the audience from the main message.
Hand position One of the greatest problems you might have is knowing what to do with your hands. with one or two hands. or whenever they look at you. In the name of research from the audience side. Suddenly they become a big issue when presenting. such as the ‘chop’. By doing this you won’t make the other people feel self conscious. Meeting people’s eyes is crucial for maintaining audience interest. you probably don’t care. get your posture right and you’ll automatically start feeling better. The best thing to remember is to stand with your feet pointed towards the audience. Quite strange really given that you never have to worry what to do with your hands when you are chatting to friends. If you keep your feet pointed towards the audience then when you turn to the wall you be naturally inclined to return to your audience-facing position. If you think I’ve missed the point. what prevents you from maintaining eye contact with everyone? Well one of the reasons could be the Sympathy Nodder . You will choose the Sympathy Nodder over the guy making a pen pyramid any day. 3. as it makes you feel good almost instantly. Even if you suspect someone is sympathy nodding. Head position is a great one to play around with. Maintaining good eye contact shows respect and interest in what they have to say. Most of them are of little use. keeping your hands steady. Or you can hold a pen. When you’re presenting you usually gravitate towards attention and recognition. 2. Look the presenter dead in the eye and nod a couple of times. This solves a very big presentation skills problem. almost as if you are the only person in the room. Repeat about 5 times per minute. professional and relaxed. A cruel experiment perhaps. . Instead. As an audience member we feel that you are actually talking to us . You can spend thousands getting personal coaching and practicing 20+ hand gestures. This sounds very simple. You have two options.1. like they’ve got a bit of vegetable stuck between their teeth or a dew drop hanging from the nose.such as when you are reading off PowerPoint. until they seem natural. or have any delivery tips that you would like to share. but one which will prove to you that as a presenter you must resist the one person who seems to be giving you the attention and maximise your eye contact with everyone. with yourself and others. So. You will undoubtedly find the presenter draw their attention towards you. So you direct your attention almost solely to that one person. the ‘opera singer’ or the ’sweep’. but it does the job. Eye contact Sharing eye contact around the room is one of the best presentation delivery skills you can have. try the Sympathy Nod Experiment during your next boardroom presentation. With the money you save on personal coaching. When you want to feel confident 28 . please add a comment or two to this OMP on the blog. This means that you have alienated the audience in favour of the Sympathy Nodder. Posture is the next thing to master.rather than talking to the PowerPoint screen or to the table. it will give them a feeling of comfort and genuine warmth in your company. especially people we’ve just met.the only person in the room who is nodding and paying you attention. you can buy yourself a better pen. Stance There have been many books written on stance and posture. who is probably concentrating more on nodding than listening. Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of dealing with others. which is turning your back on the audience . I think they are the big 3.
most important of all.. Positive Body Language How to say "I like you" -. it means a liberal use of nods. I like you. • Direct eye contact (no staring) • Warm.. The most "attractive" people in the room know how to make everyone else feel attractive and interesting.and self assured keep your head level both horizontally and vertically. How to Attract Others With Body Language Let your body do the talking... If your new acquaintance crosses his or her arms.it may just mean the room is cold! Instead.. especially when there is no movement or bending between the wrist and the forearm.. • • • • • • • • • • • • • Eye contact not met Tight or no smile Down and away glances Not fully facing.. body language centers around clusters of gestures and expressions. eye contact and. Use the lists below to detect body language patterns in yourself and others. Hand gestures are so numerous it’s hard to give a brief guide but here goes. it doesn't necessarily mean they dislike you -. at an angle Leaning away Hunched shoulders Too-stiff posture Weak handshake Chin into chest Arms crossed Legs crossed Body sagging Legs outstretched while seated 29 ...." Translated into body language. i believe these tips will help you in some way or other. Their secret? They use plenty of reinforcement behaviors that say "I hear you.. Positive body language is all about how you make others feel... I know what you mean. The field of kinesics (the scientific study of body movements) tells us that no single movement has a precise meaning. Palms slightly up and outward is seen as open and friendly. and show our true inner feelings. open smile (teeth revealed) • Nodding • Head tilted • Open.. These patterns of movement can be most revealing. Palm down gestures are generally seen as dominant. emphasizing and possibly aggressive. inclusive gestures (palms showing) • Fully facing others • Leaning forward • Upright but relaxed posture • Firm handshake • Double hand clasp handshake • Feet firmly planted • Chin up • Sitting forward Negative Body Language Are you guilty of these sins? Avoid them and people will respond more positively to you.and how to tell if they're interested in you.. gestures. a good warm smile. Attract and dazzle all kinds of new people with this quick guide to better body language...
That will buy you. They size you up and make a decision. The girls notice him. adjusting skirt. their legs crossed. to close the biggest deal of his life. 2007 5:24:00 PM Tags: tips body language information 9 Body Language tips to excel in every situation. just visited his brain and announced him that they. This will buy you the next one minute. And the big chief looks at him. 30 . if that is physically possible. sticking out chest • Mirroring another's gestures and body stance • "Accidently" brushing another's hand • Scanning the face with eyes (don't go below chin) • Preening behavior: straightening tie. Posted by Ankit in NEVER GIVE UP on May 21. A man in a suit is getting inside the hall. The girls notice him. a decent flirt time window. his heart is beating like crazy and his hands are sweaty. and not what you say. but usually a sign of attraction) • Absentminded gazes • Dropped gazes • Staring • Scanning body below neck • Fidgeting • Standing too still • Exclusive gestures (closed and away from your body) • Self-touching 9 Body Language tips to excel in every situation. At the very exact same moment. A woman in less than 20 seconds will decide whether or not she will speak to you. wetting lips • Blocking behavior (to keep others away from the two of you) • Pupils dilated (hard to detect. Non verbal communication is everywhere in every move you make in every step you take and yes in every breath you take. his blood is boiling and a big group of nasty hormones. They beat the shite out of him. And our hero opens his mouth. He opens his mouth.• Eyebrow flash upon greeting • Touching another's arm or shoulder • Winking (used with discretion) • Tightened abdomen. He will meet the big boss of the other company. in another remote location a man is sitting in a bar. People judge someone. 93% of what they understand is only how you say it. Five meters from him 2 magnificent women are drinking their Mohito drinks. He approaches. for the next two minutes to have a party up there. This is the moment. Not very far away another guy decides to do exactly the same but this time with two brunettes. fixing hair. decided. He approaches. Their boyfriends notice him. His mouth is dry. the first 20 seconds he or she appears. their beautiful thighs revealed.
Lion Using body language to enhance how you start a conversation can lead to great conversation. Read them. And you move from there. What is your position in the chain of command of life. you are in stressful situations. If you want more information you can read Alexander Technique which is an excellent example. someone was holding your head with a cord. pieces of information. Relax. 3) Stand up. 3) Your pitch and tone of voice must resonate from the chest and not from the nose or the vocals. Body language is a way to communicate without putting yourself at risk of saying something wrong. The Rules Voice 1) Be a bit louder than most people. 2) Move slowly. 2) Speak slowly. Shoulders down. You probably already use body language. So you get the first two. because you are going to tie/anchor this body language with a stressful memory. Got that. Cut your speed at half. He. only when. This is especially useful in situations where you can not seem to get a word in or where you are unsure of how to start a conversation. Don’t stand around like making an excuse for being there. that decide for a man if he seems to be. what is your pecking order? These are the rules. try to understand if you are the boss or not. This is a long post but for the moment keep in mind that those different frequencies resonate at different body areas effortlessly. but do not even notice it. of High Social Value or not. Monotones are death for a speaker. old as humanity. like if. every hour. Take vocal space in the minds of the people around you. Body Language 1) Take space. who moves the least is in control. 5) Keep eye contact with people around you. 4) Remember to smile from times to times. Own your space around you without trying too hard. people that are watching you. It will be impossible for you to remember them consciously all the time. as many times as you can. 4) Hit at least two tones. only seven plus minus two. Got that. You have to practice them every day. Is contagious. remember just that. Your true smile. A person can hold in his mind maximum. Avoid practicing these. You start doing more two. Don’t scream but a tiny louder. with plenty of pauses. If you have to remember something. And remember that these habits are hard to change. So keep the spine straight. You do not have to say much just a look or a movement can speak volumes for you. you practice them until they become automatic. The top of your spine is not on your neck but on top of your head.Every moment. Nothing jerky. Slow hand movements. 31 .
tapping the foot rapidly or putting your hands on your hips can all say things that might not be too good. Body moves: Everyone has said hello with a wave of the hand or shown a lack of patience with a tap of the foot or nodded in agreement. You can speak volumes with a simple movement. clapping. feet and head can speak for in many cases. tapping your foot to music or extending a hand shake can say great things. A serious look of concentration may be seen as disapproval. You should maintain good eye contact to let others know you are listening. 2. Your eyes.The following list shows the main points of body language that you should be aware of whenever you wonder how to start a conversation. 1. Be careful to not let your eyes say you are bored or not interested in a conversation. Always be aware of what your body is saying. Body language can also share a feeling with someone so only the two of you know. but would like to acknowledge someone. Make sure your body language is saying what you want it to. Facial expressions: Smiling can say more than words sometimes. Facial expressions can often be misinterpreted. 12 Tips on Body Language 32 . 3. from rolling them to winking. Eye use: People say that they can learn all about a person through their eyes. body and face can carry on a whole conversation for you. You can use body language to convey a message you may not otherwise want to vocalize. You should be aware of your facial expressions at all times. arms. It is probably the most used part of the body to communicate next to the mouth. you can display many messages with just your eyes. Your hands. Crossing the arms. Sometimes you may unaware of what your eyes are saying. Your eyes can say many things. Just make sure you are using the rest of your body to speak as well and your facial expressions should come across clearly. On the other hand. Knowing how to end or start a conversation with body language can come in handy if you do not have time to carry on a conversation. You may frown and be unaware of it.
6. 2. You may feel that arm-crossing is simply comfortable but others will think you’re not approachable. Touching above or below the elbow does not produce the same result and touching for more than 3 seconds will receive a negative response. This explains why we sometimes see a â€œtwinkle in the eyeâ€ when a person is happy or excited. 2006 | Email This Post | Print this page Allan and Barbara Pease are the internationally renowned experts on human relations and body language. 4. Being â€˜perceptive’ means being able to spot the contradictions between someone’s words and their body language. 20 million book sales worldwide have turned them into household name internationally. 5. 7. â€˜Mouth Cover’. When you fold your arms your credibility dramatically reduces.Posted by Wayne Berry on October 7th. the â€˜Eye Rub’. Skilful elbow-touching can give you up to three times the chance of getting what you want. And that overall women are far more perceptive than men. Pupil dilation is a sign that the person likes what they see When the pupil of the eye dilates. Research reveals that women read the situation accurately 87% of the time. the â€˜Neck Scratch’. False smiles pull back only the mouth while real smiles pull back both mouth and eyes. the â€˜Ear Grab’. the â€˜Collar Pull’ and the â€˜Fingers In The Mouth’. Try turning the volume down on the TV and see how well you do. the black section in the middle grows in size. This has given rise to the term “women’s intuition”. 3. the â€˜Nose Touch’. the more positive reactions others will give you. Did you know that according to Allan Pease… 1. Modern humans are worse at reading body signals than their ancestors because we are now distracted by words. Science has proven that the more you smile. Gestures can reveal if a person is lying. Seven of the most common â€˜lying gestures’ are the. while men only scored 42% accuracy. A light 3 second elbow-touch creates a momentary bond between two people. 33 . The larger black area reflects light differently.
closed legs show male reticence Crossed legs not only reveals negative or defensive emotions. is an effective way of obtaining co-operation from them. why people will stand a certain distance from another person. the benefits come from good communication. It’s been flaunted as one of the many ways to move up through your company. Those who carry a large. left or right of the person. 9. 12. Read gestures in clusters and don’t interpret a solitary gesture on it’s own 2. Slim briefcases say that the owner is only concerned with the bottom line and therefore has more status. look under the table or desk. Jiggling the feet is like the brain’s attempt to run away from what is being experienced. Look for congruency between people’s words and their â€˜body language’ 3. 11. is communication. The size of a briefcase is linked to perceptions of the status of its owner. bulky briefcase are thought to do all the work and probably take work home with them because they are poor time managers. next to the person and so on. as our legs are in full view and so we don’t feel as if we are in full control. a rectangular table or no table at all. What body language really comes down to though. the closer they will stand to each other. but at their hearts. Where you sit in relation to other people in a meeting or even socially. it makes a person appear insecure and causes others to react accordingly.8. Open legs show male confidence. Remember to read gestures in context with the environment and other things that are happening Have a great week. 1. Allan cautions us though not to jump to conclusions when we see gestures and suggests three rules for accurate reading. 10. There are cultural reasons too. 34 . Sure there are many other benefits of understanding and controlling your body language. and just increase your overall mood. Make it a great week! We’ve all heard of the many benefits of controlling your body language. a square table. If you are not sure whether you’re being lied to or not. Glass topped tables cause us more stress than solid tables. It’s a fascinating subject and reading a person’s body language is a skill which can be developed. get that girl or guy you’ve been eyeing from across the room. The closer people feel emotionally to each other. It also matters where you sit â€“ across from the other person. It makes a difference whether you sit at a round table.
but try to refrain from laughing at yourself. feeling. This may seem difficult or peculiar at first. is the most defensive stance. We tend to angle towards people we find attractive. you’ll seem artificial. but it also portrays you as a person with low selfesteem. Posture . words account for 7%. Open palms are seen as receptive to interaction and friendly. 6. Be aware of their movement. Laugh frequently. 3. interesting. but after a few days of consistency. As with arms.Arms are clues to how receptive a person currently is to interaction. To really get a grip on your listening skills. We often tighten our lips or tilt them to one side when we are 35 . tone of voice counts for 38%. and body language accounts for 55%. They have a propensity to move around when we are stressed or nervous. In this rule.Be sure to stand up straight. hinders traditional angling. leaning can be seen amongst a crowd with the same conditions as angling. Smile . Slouching not only makes you appear shorter. Be aware of other mouth movements. but do not stare. Hands . Arms . Keep your shoulders back and head up. Be aware that one’s body in relation to another’s is an indicator of one’s feelings about those others. 8. but if you keep that smile on your face for too long. and we angle ourselves away from those we do not. arms work both ways. make an effort to keep them still. be aware that the “Figure-Four”. A subset of angles is leaning. use your hands to describe something as you talk about it. so be sure to keep your head straight too. Dedicate Attention . which is bringing up your leg to rest on the knee of the other. 7. Hand gestures with you palms facing down can be seen as dominant and perhaps aggressive.Angles are everything. don’t hesitate to cross your arms and let them know. For now. but not constantly. and to communicate effectively. If you are talking with someone who just said the wrong thing. if you are seriously interested in what someone has to say. Eye Contact . crossing your legs matters. check out 11 Tips to Be a Better Listener. Laughing at oneself is often seen as a nervous maneuver.As a kind of catch-all. legs are the hardest part of our bodies to control.Smile frequently. your body language will project that you are. Instead of fidgeting with your hands. Get the Angles .For many people. it travels up and through your head. and fun. you’ll realize your eyes are one of the best ways to convey emotion. keep in mind the basics: maintain eye contact. 2. 55%! That means that more than half of communication is done through body language! Here are my favorite tips to enhance the control of your body language and be a better communicator: 1. However. Let your arms rest at your sides or move them behind you. like stadium seating in a classroom. friendly. Try to refrain from crossing your arm as this is usually perceived as a defensive sign. Smile especially when you are introduced to someone. There are many ways to cross your legs and although legs have less importance in determining the receptiveness of a person. 4. Whenever seating restrictions. Legs . 5. Your spine doesn’t stop at your neck.To write about all the subtleties and benefits of good eye contact would be enough for its own post entirely.Keep your palms face up.This can be attributed to Albert Mehrabian’s 7%-38%-55% Rule of communication. next time you feel your legs moving.
or wagging are also signals to move on. Proactive Mirroring . For example. There are a number of ways to convey that you want to get to know someone. and thrusting your chest forward give the message that you are interested. pointing. observe the average distance between others in the room and pick a distance accordingly. looking at the ceiling and all around the room. you would do well to do the same. if the other person leans forward slightly. let some changes in their body language go un-mirrored. in a rhythmic (as opposed to fidgety) manner. and you never know you might just attract the attention of that gorgeous neighbor. How To Use Body Language To Your Advantage When Dating This is the language where you don't need any words. First Impressions Count You leave your home ready to go to a party when you spot your gorgeous neighbor. Why? Because you aren't dressed your best. look away from him and don`t look back at him again. or balled in tight fists are all bad signs. Keeping your hands unclenched shows you're open to him. drumming. you lean forward slightly. busy cleaning glasses. crossing your arms. Turning your body toward the man you're conversing with. Becoming fluent in body language will ensure that you will be skilled in attracting the right man. However. Standing either too close or too far from a person is not a good thing. the better. try picking fluff off his jacket. Using your hands to caress objects. this will tell him that you were watching him and are embarrassed that he caught you . Stand Out Your posture is one of the most telling signals you transmit. flashing a small. locks of your hair. Next. Fingers tapping. As for ways to send a man packing. Women have been doing it for hundreds of years .to attract the man they want. If the other person places one hand on her lap. look your best. A Few Extra Tips 36 . immediately lower your eyes and smile to yourself. also shows a definite lack of interest. So make sure that before you leave your front door. and sending the get-lost signal to the wrong man. An open posture is evidence of an open person. Hands that are jammed in pockets. keeping your feet flat on the floor and leaning forward are actions that show interest. they often begin to unconsciously mirror each other’s body language. not what you are thinking!) Even without direct contact. or the sleeve of your blouse. This same pursing of the lips is used when we are trying to hold back a nasty comment. The Hand Job (no. This is when you have to make an impression. When in conversation. Looking your best will make you feel your best. You can use this to your advantage by pro-actively mirroring a person to induce a “getting along” situation. Be aware of this because it will be picked up by others and they will get the feeling you are not happy. most people look to see who has come in. 10. open-lipped smile.When two people are talking and getting along with each other. such as the rim of your glass. holding a drink high in front of you. touching him to punctuate a point. As well. slightly tilting your head.a sure sign of interest. your hands can send very powerful messages. Watch Your Distance . Once he turns to meet your gaze. Let other people know that you have your own personal space and be careful not to invade theirs. turning your body away or resting your feet on their toes will tell a person you are not interested.Create your own personal space. If there is a man that is giving you the eye and you are not interested. be bold and try holding his stare. give ample time before imitating and don’t be an exact mirror. begin with direct eye contact. Then. And for the braver hands. 9. Eyeing Up the Prize The more eye contact you establish with the target. or using the "accidental touch" when reaching for the salt.thinking. crossing and uncrossing your legs. and he doesn't give you a second glance. can be a sensual act. Before you make a decision. When you enter a room. Start with some sidelong glances.
Eye Contact. I guarantee you will see an almost instant in the amount of women you can successfully attract. it becomes more of a job then something you enjoy. • If you try your hand at it. Remember. This says wonders about your confidence. 37 . This can lead to very ugly circumstances. Posture. happy. and that's what people will subconsciously pick up if they see you as such. • Chain smoking. Always look people in the eyes. take up as much room as possible. or when you're best just to wave the white flag. abort the mission immediately. Take up space. 2. or you may be seen like you’ve got something to hide. tired.This is one of the most important tricks that anyone can use. you have an attack plan and a clear idea of when it's time to get down and dirty. "Looking for Love.Always spread out. You don’t need to stand at perfect attention. Take your hands out of your pockets.Hopefully by now. People can subconsciously pick up if you are depressed. Stand tall. If you use these 5 quick-tips next time your out. if all else fails. the number one-thing to do is to just have fun. the way we hold and present our bodies can give more messages then a regular chit-chat. Open. 3. Hold them loosely by your side. 2. and you're not afraid of interaction. and that is a huge turn-on for women. alert. calculated. So what does this mean for you? It means you are about to change the game with my top 5 body language tips! 1. 3.… • Following him around all night will only serve in making you look needy and desperate.Not many folks know this. Keeping your shoulders pushed back will lend you an air of confidence. walk with a straight posture with your head tilted up a little. body language can make or break you. If you're lounging on a couch. or having eyes only for your plate of food will not put you in the best standing for the body language game. 4. even if you’re the shortest person in the room. So from now on. it ends at your skull. angry. but your spine doesn't actually end at your back. 1. 5. Spread your weight evenly on both feet instead of leaning on one. If you're at a bar. and smooth. And finally. Slow Down. When attracting women. • Don`t tease him by offering more than you plan to follow through.Don't jerk! Always make your movements slow. never be in a hurry. and your shoulders held back. Crossing of the limbs means you are a closed person. Here are just a few more tips when trying to perfect your body language skills: • You'll know things are going really well when you begin "mirroring" one another's body language and gestures. However. just keep your feet apart so you balance well. did you know that 90% of all conversation is conducted by body language? It's true. being extremely intoxicated." When picking up women. or any other emotion you can think of. the most important part of the pick-up is conversation. and he's not responding.Never cross your legs or your arms. buy yourself a T-shirt that reads. don't be afraid to kick your leg up on a chairs peg next to you. This says that you are a confident person. If you get too caught up in the things you read.
right. You literally should strut through that room. but also when you walk in. That’s it. People naturally are always looking toward the entranceway of a party or bar to see who is walking in. and they’re hustling their way in there very quickly to make a beeline to the bar. Khiem: You know what David? Every time we do a blog. if you deliver that smile with conviction. you make sure that you greet your friend in the same powerful way. when you walk into a room. so you’re looking at the entire room. and you look around the room. you make sure you have really good posture. What do you think is the source of that? David: Well. that’s easy! The first step. What I always tell guys to do is stop when they walk into a room. But what if you’re a man. shake his hand. They have to get there really fast. Make sure your shoulders are back.Simple Powerful Body Language Tips Body Language Tips By David Wygant Todays blog is an actual transcript from a conversation about body language that Khiem and I had the other day while we went on a hike. and everybody just gets the powerful energy vibing from him. smile. You frame whatever doorway there is. right. is to slow down. you make a doorway around you. A lot of guys will walk into a room. People noticed you when you walked into the room. center. You can walk away from that right after you do that because it is how you deliver that smile. You stop for two to three seconds. It’s literally a 3”x3” foam block. What you want to do is lay on that block every single night. Walking through that room at a very slow pace. Put your hand on his shoulder. You make sure you look good. then she’s going to wonder who you are. If you deliver that smile very strongly. So now when you go talk to a friend. look directly in his eyes. Enjoy. So much of life is based on initial impressions. make sure you’re standing straight up. left. So if you walk in there and you command power (commanding power is standing upright and walking in) then you have to walk through that room slowly. Take the block and stick it right between your shoulder blades – and lay back on the block. Then put another block 38 .com and order a block. and ask her how she’s doing tonight. center. Give her a direct look in her eyes. and you want to be that guy? The guy who walks into a room. Body language is very important. What if I have bad body language? What can I do to fix my body language? Or is there anything I should know about how to put my shoulders back? How far back? What’s the right way? David: Well. we always talk about that one women who walks into a room and all the men are mesmerized by her. and with good body language. you’ve mentioned puffing your chest out and everything. let’s say. Go to www. Then you go directly your friend (or whoever else) and have great body language when you talk to them. off to London tonight and promise a lot of great videos from London. if they’re at a party.yogaaccessories. Not only do you do that. Khiem: Now. You smiled at the woman and she smiled back at you – you now have acknowledgement from all of the people that are around you. and if there’s not a doorway. and have a very commanding presence. You look left. there’s a great exercise that I do in order to get really good posture. your chest is puffed out. smile at a woman that you see – make that initial contact.
You’re putting your body into its natural position in that situation. When you walk into a room slowly. Once again. but you’ve got to get the walk right too. a strong. Those are the guys that look really gay with their hand motions. you’re hustling into that room so fast that you’re basically just a blur. A lot of guys have bad eye contact. If you have any 39 . Another one to do is just to stand up against the wall. David: The funny thing about it is that I’m a hand movement kind of guy. Stand there and hold your chest back and your shoulders back until they touch the wall. That’s one great exercise in order to get really good body language. and you’re puffing your chest out so you’re not overdoing it. But it’s the way that I do it – I’m facing the person I’m talking to. Khiem: And what about hand movements? What about that? I have some friends that always look gay – I don’t know what it is. Khiem: So basically what I’m hearing from you in terms of movements is that your movements should be slow. They shouldn’t go any further back than that when you’re walking either. like Jesus Christ. You may have the body language right. powerful man looks directly into someone’s eyes and shows them who the man is. Khiem: I think that’s a great exercise. So your hand motions are directly towards them. just bouncing all over the place and their hands are flying back. you have to face that direction also. that’s another good tip that guys can use. It shouldn’t look jerky. If you just open your palms a little bit more – and I wouldn’t say you should walk with your hands completely open. You have to bring her in to that scope or frame – so you’re mirroring each other.under your head. you’re a commanding presence that people will notice. and they start to look like Pinocchio. whichever direction she is facing. This means that if you’re standing there in front of her. especially since I’ve heard from various martial arts teachers in talks about body language that you can even imagine yourself as being hung like a rag doll from the top of your head. it looks like you’re nervous. not only is body language important but also the speed of your walk. your shoulders kind of close up. So you should be looking like you’re walking upright instead of walking like Cro-Magnon man. deliberate and flowing. which gives you this hunchback look a little bit. Another thing I’ve observed is that a lot of guys tend to have their knuckles facing forward when they shouldn’t. because if it looks jerky. but your thumbs facing forward would be better. your head naturally aligns with your back so you look taller than you would be. When you face the person that you’re talking to. But once again. right? David: Correct. because they’re looking all around the room and their hands are flying backwards! It’s all in the way that you look at somebody. What you are doing is spreading your chest and your shoulders. you need to look directly at her – your body needs to frame her body. and by putting that block there. you’re automatically getting really good posture. If you do that. You have to be a commanding presence. What do you think about that? David: Yeah. When you walk into a room quickly. I’ve done a lot of TV and I’m always moving my hands around like a maniac. you are literally creating what I call a funnel between the two of you. waiting to receive a gift. Another thing is that when you speak with a woman. By having your knuckles facing forward. You’re taking your shoulder blades and putting them back where they should be. They’re all really good tips. but the way they move makes them look very feminine.
You should be in a little bubble of your own. You should stand tall and make eye contact with everyone. Just don't act like you are doing it for a purpose. Women want to date leaders! 40 . Remember: • • • Women want to see confidence Women want to see you standing tall in front of others Women want you to know what you are doing How does a confident man walk? You have seen the way they move smoothly. Keep reading for some excellent tips to start using every single time you interact with a girl. For a deeper understanding on Body Language and how to use to not only meet a woman but drive her crazy in bed let me suggest my Mens Mastery Series. Keeping your composure and being able to laugh is important. It is natural for you to be the leader. center. I suggest you YouTube Bill Clinton. I’m looking directly into people’s eyes to make them feel like I’m connecting with them. ie. Stop thinking so much in your head. and pay attention to what is going on in the moment. right. they have a calm and they are in comple control. Don't be squirming around in the chair and don't be rocking back and forth while talking. anxious or fidgety. You can answer her when she is finished. You want to be the man that stands out from all the rest? A Guys Guide To Body Language and Dating 60% or more of your success at dating women comes down to your non verbal communication. nothing startles them. If you get your confident non verbal communication skills mastered. relaxed at all times. Remember women want a confident guy and to get confident you need to be good at showing off positive body language. Fake it until it is a natural skill you can do without thinking about it. Stay in the moment. It is all under control. Plus you seem fun to be with and aren't worried about anything. Body Language. I’m talking to left. Don't tap your fingers on the table. Move slowly and always have a purpose. Keep your body relaxed.questions about body language or anything. Flirting with women will not succeed without excellent body language skills. Focus. It doesn't matter what you say if you look like an average boring guy. Talk to everybody and be the center of the action most of the time. I know when I’m talking to a room of people. Bill Clinton has great body language when he speaks. you will be able to say just about anything. Instead of being in your own head thinking about what you are going to say next. click here to find out more. which is what people are looking for. just her and you. Todays video is all about how to meet women in museums and art galleries. This is a good little primer on body language. If your body language portrays a weak and insecure guy. listen to what she is saying. You do not want to be nervous. Your smile is a big key it gives off the impression that you are positive and in a good mood. you will be killing your chances with her. A confident guy will be able to be in control of things.
Don't cross your arms or hold your drink in front of you. If you walk up to a woman and slouch or rock back and forth. you will pull everyone else down. 41 . It is your attitude that makes the difference.Don't avoid conflict. if and only if your body language speaks to them. So come in happy and fun. she will notice. It is important to be comfortable in your surroundings. No matter what happens. You should be adding to the energy not taking it from them. This allows your body to relax and your anxieties will be reduced to manageable levels. Read as much as you can on the subject. If you don't keep eye contact. Move slowly and keep your posture open. If your energy level is low. you are not a boy anymore. Keep your shoulders back and chest up and out. Bottom line stand up for yourself and your ladies. Good things happen to confident men. she will notice. Try this next time you go out. Plus it helps in all aspects of your life. no looking at the floor. It is powerful in your dating life. you can handle it. You need to get out and practice just hanging out in social gatherings. You will be able to appear like you know what you are doing. Act like a man. How would you stand. hold your drink and react to whatever happens? You would be totally relaxed and comfortable. Just go to have fun and get used to the whole scene. Make sure to pay attention to peoples reactions to your body language. and practice it full time. act like you would act at home in your living room. Pay attention to your body language at all times. this is a required part of looking attractive to women. Head held high. You will have much better reactions from women.