Eloisa to Abelard In these deep solitudes and awful cells, Where heav'nly-pensive contemplation dwells, And

ever-musing melancholy reigns; What means this tumult in a vestal's veins? Why rove my thoughts beyond this last retreat? Why feels my heart its long-forgotten heat? Yet, yet I love! ² From Abelard it came, And Eloisa yet must kiss the name. Dear fatal name! rest ever unreveal'd, Nor pass these lips in holy silence seal'd. Hide it, my heart, within that close disguise, Where mix'd with God's, his lov'd idea lies: O write it not, my hand ² the name appears Already written ² wash it out, my tears! In vain lost Eloisa weeps and prays, Her heart still dictates, and her hand obeys. Relentless walls! whose darksome round contains Repentant sighs, and voluntary pains: Ye rugged rocks! which holy knees have worn; Ye grots and caverns shagg'd with horrid thorn! Shrines! where their vigils pale-ey'd virgins keep, And pitying saints, whose statues learn to weep! Though cold like you, unmov'd, and silent grown, I have not yet forgot myself to stone. All is not Heav'n's while Abelard has part, Still rebel nature holds out half my heart; Nor pray'rs nor fasts its stubborn pulse restrain, Nor tears, for ages, taught to flow in vain. Soon as thy letters trembling I unclose, That well-known name awakens all my woes. Oh name for ever sad! for ever dear! Still breath'd in sighs, still usher'd with a tear. I tremble too, where'er my own I find, Some dire misfortune follows close behind. Line after line my gushing eyes o'erflow, Led through a sad variety of woe: Now warm in love, now with'ring in thy bloom, Lost in a convent's solitary gloom! There stern religion quench'd th' unwilling flame, There died the best of passions, love and fame.

or some captive maid. let honour. No happier task these faded eyes pursue. and those I need not spare. Warm from the soul. Fame. Nor foes nor fortune take this pow'r away. Guiltless I gaz'd. at sight of human ties. . Nor wish'd an Angel whom I lov'd a Man. Thou know'st how guiltless first I met thy flame. Love but demands what else were shed in pray'r. Ah. that I may join Griefs to thy griefs. wealth. Speed the soft intercourse from soul to soul. Shone sweetly lambent with celestial day. Back through the paths of pleasing sense I ran. and sacred be her fame. And truths divine came mended from that tongue. attemp'ring ev'ry day. Those restless passions in revenge inspires. Excuse the blush. Some emanation of th' all-beauteous Mind. And is my Abelard less kind than they? Tears still are mine. And waft a sigh from Indus to the Pole. Spreads his light wings. more than share it! give me all thy grief. How oft. When Love approach'd me under Friendship's name. Nor envy them. and echo sighs to thine. From lips like those what precept fail'd to move? Too soon they taught me 'twas no sin to love. they breathe what love inspires. wait the wedded dame. Curse on all laws but those which love has made! Love. Before true passion all those views remove. and honour! what are you to Love? The jealous God. The virgin's wish without her fears impart. And bids them make mistaken mortals groan. and pour out all the heart. and faithful to its fires. Heav'n first taught letters for some wretch's aid. To read and weep is all they now can do. when we profane his fires. Dim and remote the joys of saints I see. Some banish'd lover. Those smiling eyes. when press'd to marriage. They live. heav'n listen'd while you sung. My fancy form'd thee of angelic kind. August her deed. that heav'n I lose for thee.Yet write. Then share thy pain. oh write me all. they speak. Let wealth. and in a moment flies. free as air. allow that sad relief. have I said.

Pant on thy lip. And each warm wish springs mutual from the heart. Ah no! instruct me other joys to prize. Her poniard. by shame. Barbarian. The crime was common. make me that to thee! Oh happy state! when souls each other draw. Come! with thy looks. Should at my feet the world's great master fall. his world. Give all thou canst ² and let me dream the rest. . Himself. Let tears.Who seek in love for aught but love alone. No. relieve my woe. I can no more. stay! that bloody stroke restrain. that solemn day. his throne. and burning blushes speak the rest. or zeal. love only was my call. I bade the world farewell? As with cold lips I kiss'd the sacred veil. and nature. Still on that breast enamour'd let me lie. common be the pain. thy words. and the lamps grew pale: Heav'n scarce believ'd the conquest it survey'd. make me mistress to the man I love. Those still at least are left thee to bestow. When victims at yon altar's foot we lay? Canst thou forget what tears that moment fell. law: All then is full. had oppos'd the dire command. This sure is bliss (if bliss on earth there be) And once the lot of Abelard and me. Yet then. and to thy heart be press'd. With other beauties charm my partial eyes. No craving void left aching in the breast: Ev'n thought meets thought. warm in youth. to those dread altars as I drew. When love is liberty. More fond than mistress. and possess'd. where was Eloise? her voice. possessing. her hand. And saints with wonder heard the vows I made. ere from the lips it part. I'd scorn 'em all: Not Caesar's empress would I deign to prove. If there be yet another name more free. When. Still drink delicious poison from thy eye. I lose my all. Canst thou forget that sad. The shrines all trembl'd. but you: Not grace. Alas. by rage suppress'd. And if I lose thy love. Not on the Cross my eyes were fix'd. how chang'd! what sudden horrors rise! A naked lover bound and bleeding lies! Where.

The wand'ring streams that shine between the hills. (O pious fraud of am'rous charity!) But why should I on others' pray'rs depend? Come thou.Full in my view set all the bright abode. Or lull to rest the visionary maid. By thee to mountains. husband. The grots that echo to the tinkling rills. . And make my soul quit Abelard for God. See how the force of others' pray'rs I try. And only vocal with the Maker's praise. and murmur to the hollow wind. In these lone walls (their days eternal bound) These moss-grown domes with spiry turrets crown'd. And gleams of glory brighten'd all the day. But now no face divine contentment wears. think at least thy flock deserves thy care. wilds. Here brib'd the rage of ill-requited heav'n: But such plain roofs as piety could raise. daughter move. Thy eyes diffus'd a reconciling ray. Shades ev'ry flow'r. No weeping orphan saw his father's stores Our shrines irradiate. 'Tis all blank sadness. and darkens ev'ry green. Long-sounding aisles. and round her throws A death-like silence. From the false world in early youth they fled. The lakes that quiver to the curling breeze. And breathes a browner horror on the woods. and deserts led. or emblaze the floors. Deepens the murmur of the falling floods. Where awful arches make a noonday night. brother. by dying misers giv'n. No silver saints. And all those tender names in one. And the dim windows shed a solemn light. Plants of thy hand. Black Melancholy sits. or continual tears. and intermingled graves. sister. And Paradise was open'd in the wild. But o'er the twilight groves and dusky caves. The dying gales that pant upon the trees. Ah. my father. friend! Ah let thy handmaid. and children of thy pray'r. No more these scenes my meditation aid. thy love! The darksome pines that o'er yon rocks reclin'd Wave high. You rais'd these hallow'd walls. the desert smil'd. and a dread repose: Her gloomy presence saddens all the scene.

where frozen chastity retires. regret. my life. despair. and solicit new. ever must I stay. I ought to grieve. Now think of thee. myself ² and you. so pierc'd. or from despair? Ev'n here. not waken'd. But let Heav'n seize it. not lament the fault. Conceal. affections ever ev'n. I view my crime. how often hate! How often hope. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted. can succeed to thee. all at once 'tis fir'd. And wait till 'tis no sin to mix with thine. ev'n then. Repent old pleasures. but rapt. Confess'd within the slave of love and man. And here." Desires compos'd. Tears that delight. Assist me. and curse my innocence. disdain ² do all things but forget. Here all its frailties. I mourn the lover. that equal periods keep. Heav'n! but whence arose that pray'r? Sprung it from piety. and sighs that waft to Heav'n. Love finds an altar for forbidden fires. only death. Sad proof how well a lover can obey! Death. shall my cold dust remain. . Or how distinguish penitence from love? Unequal task! a passion to resign. Ere such a soul regains its peaceful state. resent. I weep my past offence. for he Alone can rival. Labour and rest. Fill my fond heart with God alone. How often must it love. Renounce my love. and each wish resign'd. 'Tis sure the hardest science to forget! How shall I lose the sin. can break the lasting chain.Yet here for ever. And love th' offender. Not touch'd. so lost as mine. all its flames resign. Now turn'd to Heav'n. "Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep. but kindle at the view. For hearts so touch'd. Ah wretch! believ'd the spouse of God in vain. by the world forgot. yet detest th' offence? How the dear object from the crime remove. but cannot what I ought. How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting. Of all affliction taught a lover yet. but inspir'd! Oh come! oh teach me nature to subdue. yet keep the sense.

. no more I view. the same sad prospect find. The phantom flies me. And melts in visions of eternal day. and leaving nature free. ordain A cool suspense from pleasure and from pain. waves roar. All my loose soul unbounded springs to thee. And mild as opening gleams of promis'd heav'n. gaze o'er all thy charms. I shriek. view thee. and winds arise. And low-brow'd rocks hang nodding o'er the deeps. Far other dreams my erring soul employ. Or moving spirit bade the waters flow. I hear thee. Ye soft illusions. I call aloud. And round thy phantom glue my clasping arms.Grace shines around her with serenest beams. no more ² methinks we wand'ring go Through dreary wastes. Then conscience sleeps. And stir within me every source of love. of unholy joy: When at the close of each sad. it glides away. For her the Spouse prepares the bridal ring. dear deceits. For her white virgins hymeneals sing. And wings of seraphs shed divine perfumes. Thy life a long. sorrowing day. I stretch my empty arms. you beckon from the skies. Oh curs'd. For her th' unfading rose of Eden blooms. Sudden you mount. severely kind. To sounds of heav'nly harps she dies away. Where round some mould'ring tower pale ivy creeps. and no blood that glows. For thee the fates. Fancy restores what vengeance snatch'd away. start up. dear horrors of all-conscious night! How glowing guilt exalts the keen delight! Provoking Daemons all restraint remove. as unkind as you. it hears not what I say. Soft as the slumbers of a saint forgiv'n. arise! Alas. Still as the sea. Clouds interpose. To dream once more I close my willing eyes. I wake ² no more I hear. No pulse that riots. Far other raptures. And whisp'ring angels prompt her golden dreams. And wake to all the griefs I left behind. and weep each other's woe. dead calm of fix'd repose. ere winds were taught to blow.

pursue. One thought of thee puts all the pomp to flight. Religion disapproves. dispute my heart. Thy oaths I quit. While altars blaze. far as pole from pole. and tear me from my God! No. and wanton in my eyes. from the blest abode. Rise in the grove. Nature stands check'd. Priests. Come. all adieu! Oh Grace serene! oh virtue heav'nly fair! Divine oblivion of low-thoughted care! Fresh blooming hope. trembling. swim before my sight: In seas of flame my plunging soul is drown'd. Ev'n thou art cold ² yet Eloisa loves. just mounting. Thy voice I seem in ev'ry hymn to hear. virtuous drops just gath'ring in my eye. tapers. thy memory resign. Abelard! for what hast thou to dread? The torch of Venus burns not for the dead. Nor share one pang of all I felt for thee. Assist the fiends. think not once of me. While prostrate here in humble grief I lie. Take back that grace. Stain all my soul. hate whate'er was mine. with one glance of those deluding eyes Blot out each bright idea of the skies. With ev'ry bead I drop too soft a tear. where I fly. and those tears. Rise Alps between us! and whole oceans roll! Ah. Forget. I waste the matin lamp in sighs for thee. before the altar rise. And swelling organs lift the rising soul.Come. ador'd ideas. Take back my fruitless penitence and pray'rs. come not. Ah hopeless. And dawning grace is op'ning on my soul: Come. those sorrows. Snatch me. While praying. and warm th' unfruitful urn. renounce me. all charming as thou art! Oppose thyself to Heav'n. if thou dar'st. Kind. What scenes appear where'er I turn my view? The dear ideas. Thy image steals between my God and me. in the dust I roll. gay daughter of the sky! . fly me. When from the censer clouds of fragrance roll. temples. lasting flames! like those that burn To light the dead. fly me. Fair eyes. write not. and angels tremble round. and tempting looks (which yet I view!) Long lov'd.

See from my cheek the transient roses fly! See the last sparkle languish in my eye! Till ev'ry motion. when 'tis man we love.And faith. Ev'n superstition loses ev'ry fear: For God. absolves our frailties here. And smooth my passage to the realms of day. Here. Bright clouds descend. our early immortality! Enter. and breath be o'er. And saints embrace thee with a love like mine. pulse. I go. each amicable guest. Thither. Here grief forgets to groan. where sinners may have rest. See my lips tremble. Where flames refin'd in breasts seraphic glow: Thou. when fate shall thy fair frame destroy. or seem'd to say) "Thy place is here. and my eye-balls roll. I come! prepare your roseate bow'rs. Ah then. as I watch'd the dying lamps around. Present the cross before my lifted eye. thy once-lov'd Eloisa see! It will be then no crime to gaze on me. sad sister. In each low wind methinks a spirit calls. Suck my last breath. and learn of me to die. Receive. each mild." I come. and catch my flying soul! Ah no ² in sacred vestments may'st thou stand. . and all my joy) In trance ecstatic may thy pangs be drown'd. and pray'd. O Death all-eloquent! you only prove What dust we dote on. wept. And more than echoes talk along the walls. From op'ning skies may streaming glories shine. not man. I trembled. "Come. Propp'd on some tomb. though now a sainted maid: But all is calm in this eternal sleep. From yonder shrine I heard a hollow sound. (That cause of all my guilt. sister. come!" (it said. and wrap me in eternal rest! See in her cell sad Eloisa spread. Love's victim then. and love to weep. The hallow'd taper trembling in thy hand. a neighbour of the dead. And ev'n my Abelard be lov'd no more. Then too. Teach me at once. and ever-blooming flow'rs. Abelard! the last sad office pay. Celestial palms. and angels watch thee round. come away! Once like thyself.

If ever chance two wand'ring lovers brings To Paraclete's white walls and silver springs. who shall feel 'em most. Devotion's self shall steal a thought from Heav'n. When this rebellious heart shall beat no more. our tender story tell. who loves so long. Let him our sad. And graft my love immortal on thy fame! Then. if fate some future bard shall join In sad similitude of griefs to mine. . Such if there be. And swell the pomp of dreadful sacrifice. Amid that scene if some relenting eye Glance on the stone where our cold relics lie. with mutual pity mov'd. when all my woes are o'er. Condemn'd whole years in absence to deplore. Then sadly say. ages hence. "Oh may we never love as these have lov'd!" From the full choir when loud Hosannas rise.May one kind grave unite each hapless name. And image charms he must behold no more. O'er the pale marble shall they join their heads. The well-sung woes will soothe my pensive ghost. One human tear shall drop and be forgiv'n. He best can paint 'em. And sure. so well. And drink the falling tears each other sheds.

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