Lines for your Myspace/Facebook Status Thomas Kovilakath 2008 Thomas likes to do things without drugs, but

ends up just doing a lot of drugs Thomas will only fall asleep in the car when he’s tired Thomas will only feel the breath of the night when he’s in a nostalgic and sentimental mood Thomas can’t dance to the beat of his own drum, because he sold his drum set in 05 for plane tickets to Hawaii Thomas can’t stand late nights alone with indie music and love, but if he goes to long without them he loses his identity to the media. Thomas enjoys explaining what abstract humor is to people using stories about wolves and movie theatres. Thomas would drift into nothingness (which isn’t death at all) if he knew how. Thomas knows LSD doesn’t help with finding a way to drift into nothingness; it only helps with nothingness drifting into you…mmm. Thomas is glad he has an H in his name so he’s not perceived as Hispanic as much. Thomas doesn’t care when people are racist, only when people assume he’s a race he’s not and then are racist against that race but…to him. Thomas is not a writer but he tells girls parents he his so they will be more comfortable with him feeling up their daughter Thomas tells the girls he’s a writer because he can use that as an excuse to paint them naked (they don’t see the flaw in logic because they are normally really drunk!) Thomas actually has morals but thinks that it’s too boring to let the world know you have morals so he talks about hookers (this one is very, very true) Thomas makes up words but then makes up the meaning to those words in a language that he doesn’t know (like Russian) making him unable to understand his own made up words. Thomas wants to dance with the moon and the stars when he can figure out what that metaphor represents, he hopes it’s cake

Thomas finds it easy to write in the third person, but when he tries writing in the first person he jerks away from an imaginary needle and blacks out. Thomas should get paid for writing these things, but not by the people reading them, he likes you guys, but by delicious Quiznos. He’s all over getting a sponsorship by them like the cheese all over the cheesy prime rip sub at Quiznos. Thomas’s dad gets drunk a regular basis and wants to fight Joe Montana Thomas’s calls himself a hipster but writes awesome random lists thus putting him in a much cooler class then hipster, probably the class of the fonz or a member of the band “Tapes n’ Tapes” Thomas is in a dancing mood, but when he tries to dance people tell him to leave the middle school classroom he has to observe for school. They don’t like you dancing there, at least not with glow sticks. Thomas wants you to look up what “Peak Oil” is and then laugh at it and go start up a gas generator for no reason. Thomas doesn’t drink often but when he gets an answer wrong after raising his hand in class he claims he is really drunk and then acts all jumpy so the professor believes him. This only works when the professor is really lonely and thinks that if he pretends to believe Thomas’s drunk story Thomas will tell him about his cat. He wont. (you guy’s follow me on that one?) Thomas thinks that if the aliens came to earth they would turn all department stores into wal-marts. Thomas believes aliens are very corporate and wear ties. Thomas rewards him self with a pat on the back and meth (that’s funny, so I wrote it, don’t read into it, unless you like doing meth in which case lets party…that’s a joke too) Thomas tries to let the world know he’s joking about all his drug references just in case he has to defend himself to the Supreme Court and the freggin scary UN. This is also why he denies any involvement in PETA. Thomas thinks the religious right is spooky. Thomas thinks the liberal left is idealistic and socialistic Thomas thinks socialism is worse then meth (don’t believe me? look at Russia circa 1950. yeah, not too pretty) Thomas doesn’t know who to vote for so he may just write in a vote for “laughter” Thomas is writing this because he’s all wound up from (meth) a day of looking fear in the

eye and spiting on the ground all intimidating like and then saying to fear all tough and to the point “what?” and then fear runs off. Thomas is finding meth very funny tonight, teehee it ruins lives Thomas wants to remind you that behind the bright lights of Las Vegas, there’s a pimp, a drug dealer, and a gift store for the pimp and drug dealer so you can remember the times. (sorta true) Thomas is creative when he’s not hitting his wife (in reality that’s a really sad thing too, but this is my-space NOT FUCKING REALITY) Thomas is sick of my-space so he tried stopping and going out side and got lost and cold so now is back to the warm comfort and good feeling of my-space. Wait not my-space he means Meth. Thomas thinks rap music can be very entertaining, sometimes in an intellectual way, but mostly in the way a circus or poor people falling down is entertaining. Thomas actually took a walk down memory lane and there was like 3 foreclosed houses and a few homeless people there, but there was a girl selling lemonade and this old lady mowing her lawn. Thomas thought that was sweet. Wait no, Thomas actually went to Horizon ridge. Hmm. Funny? You tell me America text ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to %535 %#$ (my space error)!! We’ll announce the results on Friday at 6 on MTV right after that awesome show with the stupid guy with the piercing. Thomas writes music but then spaces out half way through and writes half a screen play before he spaces out and burns both of the halves of the works of art creating a whole pile of creative ash. Thomas made an ash tray out of his hand print for a toddler Thomas doesn’t spend money on crap - he “turns money” into an autographed picture of Winston Churchill. Actually he thinks that would be awesome. “Crap” would be a lamp…just a boring, not signed by a historical figure lamp. Tisk tisk Ikea. Thomas met a Swedish girl, though she was cool, learned a lot about Sweden, but still chooses to believe Sweden is a part of Germany. He thinks they talk the same. Ignorance is the blood of the working class. Thomas believe they should automate the mating process, pairing people up based on height, belief in god, facial hair preferences, and social class (it’s there, you cant make it go away just by listing to the pixies and wearing a scarf when it’s warm.) Thomas both makes fun of and identifies with the hippy and indie sub cultures. What would a therapist say about that? Probably something all big wordy and loving that would

fix his life’s problems and make him happy in his daily life. Too bad Thomas thinks therapists are gay (unless you’re schizophrenic then they rock)

American Idol? More like American this show is dumb and this line doesn’t stick with the theme of this list. Thomas doesn’t want there to be poverty in the world but LOVES buying stuff from corporations and then burning them to see how they burn. And then trying to use email scams to steal money from poor countries (like Syria)… haha I wont scam any money from them, maybe cocoanuts HAHA I don’t give a damn about geography . Thomas is a moral leader, a moral leader of rocking (seemed like the right thing to say) Thomas thinks that’s enough.

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