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Compilerʼs Note: Aaah, the section that nobody reads. Well, I hope not. I distinctly remember coming to Zan after meeting with frustration after frustration with Mystery and David DeAngelo. My personality wasnʼt meshing with any of this “pickup” stuff and I thought I would just be one of those guys left by the wayside. Enter Zan. I wish I could tell you that on my first listen to Zan that everything became crystal clear and I became a Casanova overnight. It didnʼt happen. I was 18 and at the time, a lot of Zanʼs points seemed counter-intuitive, and frankly, just a little wacky. What? You need to learn how to “enjoy the interaction?” Fuck that, I want to have sex. It was not until some years later (the present) that a lot of what Zan was saying began clicking. I lost my virginity to a wonderful girl, we parted ways, and I began to see what Zan meant when he said women are beautiful creatures and we should treat them with wonder. I began these notes with the expectation that they should serve as a guide and refresher, but not as a replacement for, the actual thing. No one can replace Zanʼs tonality, way of expression and the genuine joy that comes out of his voice when he talks about women. I have split the notes up by CDs, including Mindset Moments, Quotable quotes, and Parting thoughts. The notes are in bullet form, and the really important things that I feel need special emphasis are otherwise bolded, italicized or put into a really big obnoxious box. These notes cover both the earlier Monte Carlo Session 1, and the newer just released Monte Carlo Session 2. There will be some overlap in notes, as he continues to hammer home key points. It is in Helvetica font because Helvetica is sexy. End of story. Zanʼs material requires a certain amount of maturity to digest and understand. If you are relatively new to the “Game,” I recommend you read these notes without bias or skepticism, then go out in the world and fuck up. You heard me. Crash and burn, screw around, and make mistakes. Only when you have figured out what it is you want from pick-up or women in general should you revisit Zan. And when you do, I canʼt wait to say I told you so.
We can either be seekers. not being our real self Afraid of what other people might think of us We want to make people “comfortable. or those settled in regret. Be authentic. The 200 most successful CEOs – commonality: they take time every day to be still. Donʼt dial yourself down. The question to ask: “Whatʼs not working for you?” (us) You have this moment to choose how the rest of your life is going to be. “This is who I am. Know your right to be a man. Materialism and accumulation have led us astray. We have forgotten what it means to stay still.” The results of not doing things with intention and settling for the status quo: • • • • No purpose in life. so she declines. Be honest and upfront about who you are. but to add life to your years.” Sheʼs engaged. rather than trying to do things. But he was being honest and having fun! . We donʼt need to look for the answers. We need to introspect again.” Itʼs not about trying to get something for “me. Know who you are and what you WANT. Tell the girl right away. no longer do we go through “rites of passage” where we go deep within ourselves. Just be. Keys to achieving this new mindset: • • • • • • Pursue a vision relentlessly Stop manipulating girls in order to force a response.” Mindset moment: Stop making people comfortable.Monte Carlo Sessions: Disk 1 We have stopped doing things with intention.” Be congruent and authentic Example: First 30 seconds of meeting a girl that he likes: “You and I should get together. Conformity. we have them in ourselves! Quotable quote: “The goal is not to add years to your life.
“Numbers game” is not truly game. We donʼt want someone to like us for our techniques. Both losses! Donʼt take it personally if she declines your invitation. Get women to REMEMBER you. rather than the trappings of fulfillment. that new house) but until we love ourselves for ourselves. all the trappings that we think will make us more attractive to women (ie: that car. “The I am the prize mentality” is wrong because youʼll miss her because sheʼs cute and you like her.Points to take away • • • • • • Use honesty that is not hurtful. Not that you got her in bed and had sex with you. Any tactics and techniques that donʼt come from that self are like ill-fitting coats.” Donʼt pin your hopes on a future possibility. They mean nothing. those things will be empty. Make her feel sexy and alive Your responsibility to inject something special and fun into her day…just by being you. The secret to success: pursuing your desires wholeheartedly and removing all distractions. We can accumulate all the things. The goal is to get the girls to love you. open to all possibilities but unattached to an outcome. We want to be loved for who we are. Real success with women is women allowing you to be you and loving you for it. You cannot get girls by sitting on your ass. Our true authentic selves are amazing. Quotable quote: “You can never be a lover of women if you donʼt love yourself. You have to go into girlʼs territory. Getting stuff to fill the emptiness wonʼt solve the problem. It is not fulfilling. Be direct without presumption. just own yourself and the moment with her and have fun. . Thatʼs more powerful. Mindset moment: The goal is not to get girls to go to bed with you. Get her to always remember you. Phone numbers are dead pieces of paper. but because we crave connection on a deeper level. not who we pretend to be. Points to take away: • • • • • Seek true fulfillment.
Donʼt worry about things to say to them! Just talk about women .Quotable quote: “There is no such thing as fake-it-till-you-make-it. Go out into the world and stop hiding! Parting thought: Women are the one subject that both sexes have in common. have an interesting life.” The moment you step out of your comfort zone. you take the first step— thatʼs starting to make it! Mindset moment: If you want to be interesting.
and there will be no such thing as her seeing you as a “nice guy. Men enter the game actively. Donʼt make her your life. he takes himself out of the game. When he finds that one and wants to be exclusive. Passion is the ingredient that is missing from our lives. women participate in the game passively. Women are complicit in their own seduction. We drive her to seek it--she does nothing. Intrigue. another month. and she shrinks down to something lesser than herself. She doesnʼt. Women crave emotion and passion—they will find it somewhere. one approaches women. sheʼs always going to be approached regardless. mystery…bring that to her. When one is single.” Mindset moment: Assume every girl has a boyfriend and is taken. be playful with that and joke with it. She will even start fights to feel that passion again. When you lack passion. Woman: I canʼt. I have a boyfriend. Another day. that anxiety. Donʼt back down. • • • • Men do the approaching.Monte Carlo Sessions: Disk 2 Women are desperate for passion. Be attentive without being needy. He makes that active effort. but have a goal in life that is not simply her. but for your life! What do women want? – men that are not focusing on them constantly but have something else going on in their lives! Quotable Quote: Women want someone that inspires their passion…in themselves! Points to take away: • • • • The “nice guy” is always available. Guy: Thatʼs not what I asked. women become frustrated. Get out of that neediness. Change your internal geography. Combine the two: be courteous and attentive. and reframe and center your perspective onto your own life. women are always approached. and go through the motions of life. Donʼt give her relationship status another thought. Every girl has a guy she can call/ have sex with. :P . Examples (smileys added to emphasize point): #1 Guy: Letʼs get together tonight. Mindset moment: Be passionate not simply for her.
#2 Zan: Letʼs have a drink tonight. Connection 3. Essence of an attractive personality: 1. • • • • Believe in yourself. 2. If she gets mad at you. your real self. KEY: Presenting yourself like a man. playful manner. and life. Iʼll pick you up at 7 Girl: I canʼt my boyfriend wouldnʼt like it. or any other issue) is not a problem for you. Being cool and aloof comes off as try-hard. not cool and aloof. Recognize that you donʼt need to come from a place of need. We teach people how to treat us. Zan: Of course! I understand! Letʼs make it 8 then! :D #3 Zan: Hey youʼre kind of cute… Girl: Isnʼt that your girlfriend over there…? Zan: (hand on her back) Oh her? Thatʼs my favorite girlfriend! Girl: How many girlfriends do you have? Zan: (playfully) including you? Girl: Iʼm not your girlfriend! Zan: But you could be my favorite! Donʼt back down from your position or defend yourself. Aliveness. Never respond ever to her challenges. Shit tests – given to challenge your resolve and to see how serious you are about it. Mindset moment: A man who loves women is loved by women. Know who you are and donʼt apologize for it. Come in with a spirit of loving women – coming from a place of strength rather neediness allows so many doors to open up for you. Keep it fun and light. act like you have no idea whatʼs going on.) .” • • • As soon as that (her boyfriend. Authenticity. No fucking presumption. straightforward. We project how we want to be treated onto women. in an unashamed. Quotable quote: “Move through life with the belief and expectation that every woman is into and interested in you. women. she wonʼt have a problem with it. (Be animated and alive. Be yourself for yourself.
”Does she like me. am I tall enough? Does she like me? Ask. Quotable Quote: Women want sex just as bad as you do! There is no such thing as shifting into rapport. the best of the direct (focused on her. exude your enthusiasm and they will reflect it back to you. Points to take away: • • • You can say anything as long as you say it without presumption. “Focused and relaxed. o 2. A guy needs to embody both…continuously! Women desperately need this.4. flirt with every woman. I donʼt know what it is. step out of your comfort zone. o 3. not of your agenda. treat them all the same!) Mindset moment: Make flirting and loving women part of your nature. passion. but Iʼm still trying to figure that out. You canʼt just give her one track (stability and security) and skimp out on the other. • • • • Donʼt back down from a challenge.” Saying that upfront does the opposite. Iʼm curious about it. (relaxed and unattached to the outcome). It becomes one continuous flow. Donʼt forget to have fucking fun. Women want a guy that desires them but doesnʼt NEED them. I have no intention of sleeping with you. They are all women. Women want to be swept off their feet. do I like her. security. do I like her. Donʼt ever apologize for being honest in your desires. Stability. • You have to be aware of both tracks. Donʼt try to manipulate and “steal” something from her. you arenʼt acting indifferent) and relaxed. the best of the indirect. or escalation if you make your intentions clear upfront. Adventure. Donʼt qualify or mask your desires of being a man.” “Just so you know. she ends up wanting to sleep with you!” . Two tracks in a womanʼs mind of their ideal man: o 1. comfort. Fierce Courage (French for of the heart. desire and romance. passion and adventure. do I like her?” An honest compliment: Thereʼs something about you that I like. Mindset moment: Instead of constantly thinking on a date.
Parting thought: “Madam. . we should begin an intrigue…” – Giacomo Casanova.
) Women are very aware of your motive and intent. Hesitation is the absence of confidence. Is your whole attention so that she likes you. (I donʼt like him. Quotable quote: “Never dial yourself down.) 3. she will believe you. Non-entity. Telling a girl separates you from the other men.Monte Carlo Sessions: Disk 3 Ways we can lose a woman: Neediness is the absence of fulfillment. Knows of you. 2. Nice guy (“Friend-zone) 4. Women do not want that. (You know what you want. or is it because you delight in beautiful things? Mindset moment: Your motive is all the difference. Arrogance is the absence of empathy. If I like you. simply by giving off that vibe. has no presence. and you know what you like. never dial down your sexual tone. Tell a girl upfront.” Five Boxes that Women Put You In: 1. they will not respect you for that. creepy. but doesnʼt know you. he has potential) 5. “Potential boyfriend/husband (I like this guy. Iʼm going to say it. If I want to take you to bed. If you tell her with enough authority and confidence. has a bad vibe). Lover Your goal is to get into box number 4 or 5 in every interaction with a woman. Indecisiveness is the absence of purpose.” This is said without presumption. “I am not like other men. and gives her an option to accept or decline. Iʼm different. Dislike. . (Guy is not noticed. • • • Be in touch with yourself. Being unattached to the outcome – first step is being aware of yourself and knowing what you want. Iʼm going to tell you.
Instead of trying to “befriend her” and to hope for the best at the end of the night. there is nothing wrong with expressing your interest! Have fun.No women put you into box number 3. Example: Girl: So what do you do? Zan: I give women pleasure.) Points to take away: In response to what adventures do you actually take her on: Itʼs not so much a physical adventure than an emotional one. Trying to be nice to her. say something wild like. Be a sexual creature. . The fact that she declines does not change your expression of interest. Quotable quote: Live your life like every interaction with a woman is a seduction. “Maybe we can have coffee sometime guy. He is not being horny and aggressive. let your desires be known in a confident.” Mindset moment: Donʼt apologize for being a sexual creature. If you are content with having a “nice interaction” with a woman you are interested in without showing your innate sexual interest. All women are your girls. hesitant. This is simply a demonstration of the mindset you should carry yourself with. “A treasure hunter! Or “I am on an adventure to find beauty and adventure. Never tell her what you actually do. Move in with passion—without horniness. non-needy manner. Have compassion for them. trying to hide your interest is dishonest. The essence of charm is making women feel beautiful in your presence by just being you.” You donʼt want to be that guy who is all horny and humping her leg. do you wanna come?” (Compilerʼs note: This isnʼt a canned response to be used as such. It is not dependent on her response. then you fail yourself and you fail her. you didnʼt do anything wrong. Even if she declines your advances. Be the guy that is not afraid to express himself and be masculine. He is also not the unassertive. Thereʼs a difference in being a sexual creature and a “horn-dog. You put yourself in the friend-zone.
she will reject you to prove a point. youʼre so smooth”: If a seducer knows they are overpowering her. If it isnʼt an issue for you. Youʼre already doing something and you just invite her along! Your mindset shouldnʼt be to go out to pick up girls. When you make her the adventure.” The ability to knock yourself around and to be vulnerable in front of a beautiful woman comes off as massively self-confident. Your mindset should be to have fun and meet people and be honest and upfront about your sexual interest. If you are too good. it wonʼt be for her. but how you go about it. she becomes intimidated. Points to take away: • • • You have to show flashes of humility and weakness Donʼt be too smooth. Announcing it is better than trying to hide it. . in response to something like “Wow. youʼre kind of cute. Iʼm actually intimidated by you.On taking a girl out: It doesnʼt matter so much where youʼre going. they will back it down and say something like: “Iʼm overcompensating actually. On age/any concern: A forty-five year old man had twenty-something girls with him all the time. it may come up as intimidating to her If you go too far. Cary Grant. Before they would bring up his age: “Whoah. Quotable quote: You can never be too good. Donʼt make a girl the sole purpose of your life and the future. You have to show some vulnerability. when asked his secret with women said. “I tell them I canʼt get it up. • • • Make fun and laugh at yourself Let her know that you are smitten by her…without being needy. Itʼs not so much like a formal planned out special date. Everyone who is good with women knows that showing vulnerability is key. For instance. Show this in your demeanor. Every seducer recognizes the secret to his power over women lies in the power they have over him. Mindset moment: If it doesnʼt matter to you. but Iʼm old enough to be your father!” You take that objection off the table immediately in a joking manner. it wonʼt matter to her. you become needy and clingy. Good seducers know how to inject vulnerability in the proper amount.
Zan: But we are lovers in every sense of the word. By assuming that you are already her lover. Assume the mindset that youʼve already slept with her.” then she will be up for a glass of champagne. Are you from San Francisco? Girl: Yeah.” You can always talk about normal talk but you always have a sexual edge. she will respond to you as such. Example: Girl: I need to get to know someone first to get comfortable. Girl: We havenʼt even made love yet! Zan: What do you think weʼre doing now? You are teaching her how to treat you.Mindset moment: Never portray apathy or indifference in an attempt to sneak under the wire. and you know it. If you present you desires without presumption. and be sexual (without sexual perversion). You would be comfortable around a girl youʼve already slept with. Interact with her with that vibe. Example: Zan: Iʼm not from San Francisco. Zan: You and I have been connected forever. Quotable quote: “Know this. Women will open up their bodies to you if they know youʼre not going to take advantage of her trust in you (ie: donʼt go high five your buddies right after). theyʼll believe it. I am an honest guy. If you do this. We are lovers. Stating that you are different causes her to view you differently. Iʼm not just going to be your friend. You donʼt ALLOW yourself to be put into the Friend Zone. Be honest. in every sense of the word. :P Points to take away: • • • • • Women believe in us until we show we donʼt believe in ourselves. because thatʼs how youʼre introducing yourself. Zan: Oh you are? I might need a new girlfriend when I move there. I am different from other guys and you know it. • . A girl wants to be sexually intimate with you (even on a first date) They hold out only because they are afraid youʼre not going to respect her (what her friends will think) If she knows you never “kiss and tell. and sheʼs just coming back over again tonight. sheʼll believe you. Girl: Lovers? I just met you. because youʼre cute. there will be no such thing as Last Minute Resistance if she continues the conversation. When you assume it.
to not manipulate them. to not be an asshole. They will never forget you. all the while still maintaining a sexual energy and presence of a man—this is what itʼs all about. Parting thought: This is the goal: To be loved by women.We instruct people on how we want to be treated. .
but she will never be hurt in the sense that you lied or mislead her to believe something false. You might not be able to see her again. Avoid the whole “I donʼt want to see you anymore scenario” by being honest and upfront with what you want in a relationship. you like her and want to see her again tomorrow. If you delight in her enough that it doesnʼt feel like a one-night stand. but the attitude is that you want to see her again. she wonʼt think that itʼs a one-night stand. Zan invites two girls on the same date and transforms the “date” into a night with friends. The truth is you donʼt know what the future holds. and I can bed the queen of France. embrace and enjoy that. you promise to love her and delight in her in the NOW. You donʼt have any connection there. but the intention is never just for a one-time thing. become an attractive person. you may be with this girl for forty days. Points to take away: • If you are honest about your intentions.” Make things fun and light. they are attracted to men that are compelling and interesting (that in itself is attractive).” You donʼt boost her with false expectations. The key is to delight in every moment and take it one step at a time. And it really isnʼt.Monte Carlo Sessions: Disk 4 A one-night stand is essentially glorified masturbation. Always be upfront with your intentions concerning what you want out of this relationship.g. Doesnʼt mean you will/are able to. Mindset moment: Sometimes we donʼt know we want long term with a girl. Live in the present moment. avoid the serious heaviness (e. Overcome your negative beliefs of yourself. Never begins an interaction with the intent of a one-night stand.) • • • • • Quotable quote: “Women are not attractive to men that are good looking.” – Voltaire . or for the next forty years. Donʼt make things a “date. she may be saddened because she did want something long term. but donʼt project any expectations onto the future. o “Give me five minutes to explain my ugly face. “I like you today and I canʼt wait to see you tomorrow.” • Change the perception of yourself. What do we really want—connection! Delight in your girl and her body. Tell her that.
They are your past lovers. The thing you want the most in the world is to make a woman fantasize about the man who just incited such strong emotions of passion in her. How? Because you are honest with her. and good friends. All the relationships you have with women. You LOVE these women. You are connected to all the women you have in your life. assume a comfortable and confident posture. but stop doing it when you are in a relationship.o Nothing to do with looks and eternal things and everything to do with the way you carry yourself—your presence and aura. you want to leave with thoughts of “Who was that man?” You create that emotional fantasy in them by being a sexual being. When you are coming from a positive place. Points to take away: • Your perspective dictates your body language. with people.) • Mindset Moment: You are a man who loves women. Seduce them through the sheer force of an attractive personality. Your body has memory that goes beyond that in your head. When entering a room. Recall a good memory in which you were comfortable and confident and occupy it. Relationships never end if you live your life this way. you will come from a place of power. regardless of whether you know anyone or not. Why should you be afraid? Everything flows from your image of yourself. you are not being truthful. Honesty is everything. How to move: with power and grace. you stand taller and your movements become easy and graceful. they are inordinately gorgeous and beautiful because they are women – how are they . never end. remember that your ancestors once carried swords and that you are grounded in the earth. scan the room with purpose.g if you buy her chocolates and flowers when you are dating. When you move around the room. (e. current lovers. and immediately. not the desperation and longing of a needy dog. If you become that being in that moment. Owning this mindset here is crucial. You donʼt misrepresent yourself so she doesnʼt feel cheated. go and engage someone in conversation – smile and shake their hand. • • • • • Your mindset when entering a room of women should be one of delight and excitement of Don Juan. • Understand the workings of women and see them in their natural state.
and you owe it to her to be a sexual creature. o We focus too much on lines and what to say next rather than listening to what sheʼs saying. Your duty to her is to convey a sexual energy (but not desperation) from the get-go. Where would you like more adventure in your life? – GOOD o Open-ended questions make you more receptive to others.) Enters a club with his girlfriend. Girl: Thanks. Women crave this.” Would you like more adventure in your life? – BAD. No mistakes of friend-zone then. • Zanʼs opener – Iʼm curious about _____. Get caught in lies! But always be honest! Example: Compilerʼs Note: (Zan refers to his girlfriend as his sister. You can even just say hi! o Emphasizing “your” establishes a connection and makes it personal. isnʼt that your girlfriend though (points to girl next to Zan) Zan: (hides her behind his back) Who this? This is my sister! :P Girl: So where are you from? Zan: Iʼm from Vancouver. Open-ended questions that cannot be answered simply with “Yes” or “No. Zan: (with a mock-serious face) Never heard of it. :D Itʼs fun and light. o Always talk to people in the elevator. Playful banter.NOT delightful? YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO APPROACH HER. What about you? Girl: South Dakota.” Infuses a fun vibe into the interaction. women will not see you with any sexual energy. sees a pretty girl. Women can sense a sexual being when he walks into a room. o Opening line is irrelevant. Zan: I really like your dress. If one does not have sexuality within himself. or a girl he just met as his “girlfriend. You want a girl literally teasing and punching you in the arm…catching you in an obvious lie! . itʼs the next thing you say that matters.
The Catch-22. they will open themselves up to you physically. stature. Being the jerk is not as powerful as being a delighted. but itʼs not your GOAL. Donʼt feel personally rejected. as opposed to you trying to force the issue (Last minute resistance etc). sex will find you. You donʼt have an agenda remember? Mindset moment: The really pretty girls never get approached. Donʼt try to engage a girl who is trying to be cold to your lightness. honest and sexual creature to a woman. Everything (Body language. voice. Walk away without being upset. For the sake of the interaction itself! You desire to have sex with her sure. Awareness – aware of your surroundings and in tune with how women think Flexibility – unattached to the outcome. . a talking point about women again!) The Essence of Flirting • Attitude – carry yourself with grace and power that comes with knowing your place on this earth. Sheʼs being rude to you—why do you want that in your life? You donʼt want a girl like this in your life. honest. These girls are lonely! (side note: ask her if sheʼs ever been asked out – look at that. You donʼt give a shit about her bitch shield. etc) flows from this confidence and awareness of yourself as a sexual being. o In being that guy who is respectful.If a girl is cold or standoffish/ignores you/turns her back to you. o Leads to greater intuition on women. To get her in bed? No. but not indifferent to her. and in not pursuing sex. • • • Parting thoughts: • • Your ex-girlfriends should be your friends for life. Then they get spit on. and not trying to manipulate them. you focus on her and are interested in her. on the contrary. You donʼt care. but not indifferent! Intent – the BIG important one. you donʼt allow this girl to ride rent-free in your head. unless a guy is drunk. o You move about women without apology and without presumption. You are unattached to the outcome. o Know why you are having the interaction.
That is where we step in. Your goal is to have the interaction because its fun for you and you get to enjoy the beauty of women. . anything to bring back passion and desire into their lives. all the while being unattached to the outcome more often than not leads to women making their way into your bed.This is not a guarantee that every woman that comes into your room will sleep with you. That is not your goal. Women are lonely out there and they are waiting for something. There will be no such things as getting lucky anymore. simply out of your love for all of them. There may be other aspects at work for why she wonʼt. Your intention should be to make women feel beautiful.
Thatʼs wrong. and she doesnʼt exist. and I like that. and I would like to have coffee with you.g. Need to shift the focus of the compliment away from us. Look at the cool new toy I have). In trying to be cool and indifferent. e.. lead. we create a mask of our real selves. Mindset moment: The secret to success with women: Beauty needs a witness. we just SHOWED up. you look like a nice girl. We are constantly looking for that perfect girl. shift it to “What can I do as a man to make women more attractive to me?” • • • Make a paradigm shift in your mind so you can see beauty. Itʼs not something that we did.) Shift the way we speak into active statements of ownership (it was nice talking to you. I have to get this woman so I can be cool. Itʼs not who we really are. Quotable quote: Instead of saying “What can I do as a man to make myself more attractive to women?”. Women pick up on that. We are looking for that positive outcome. and onto her. We canʼt fool women. lead! Let them become girls again. while women want the whole relationship. A compliment is not meant to make them like us more. Guys want the object. Not authentic We think it works because women give us a phone number/sex and we think it works. . • • The “Problem” with Compliments • • We are told from the start that we cannot compliment women. Thursday night you should cancel your plans!) Iʼm a man. Points to take away: • • • • • Women all around him are beautiful. youʼre a woman. Change your perspective on how you see women.g. We can. Itʼs about us and not about her. Women can read our faces. All women want romance. Lead.g. they have been their whole lives. There is no neediness there. but…women are horny too.Monte Carlo Sessions: Disk 5 Oftentimes we look at women as some sort of fulfillment or validation in our lives (e. they become beautiful in his presence – because he sees it that way! Tell her what you want! (e. trying to make her like us. become a man not intimidated by women.
now I have to be dynamic. Control your vibe and demeanor. o Being unattached doesnʼt mean you donʼt care. but to express yourself. they just have to go out there into the world of women. Mindset moment: We already have everything we need within us.” We have to throw it off. – BAD. one of the hottest people ever. You are not responsible for her reaction. “Do we want to be men or do we not?” Men donʼt see the positive things in themselves. you have already arrived at success. • Be open to all outcomes but attached to none. We fear rejection and we hesitate as a result. (If a woman is being mean/cold) Donʼt pursue a woman in which your energy is blocked. That is confidence and masculinity. “You are already creative. o Megan Fox. We are our own worst critic. Fear of success also holds us back (e. we just have to show up in the world. Points to take away: • • • • One of the most common negative beliefs: Iʼm not good enough. resourceful and whole. you care a great deal. Cold shoulder? Just leave without anger and presumption.g. We will never be 100% positive in ourselves. She can do whatever she wants with that.o “I was over there with my friends and I just couldnʼt help but stop and tell you how beautiful I think you are. Quotable quote: We donʼt just fear rejection and failure – we also fear success! • • If you could see what other people are thinking about you when you enter the room. The moment you step out of your comfort zone. even with our nervousness and apprehensions – this first step is everything. NO AGENDA. oh she likes me. You are unattached to the outcome because the purpose is not to please her. Start believing it!” o “90% of success is showing up!” – Woody Allen On Negative and Positive beliefs: • • • • “Even the most successful people have negativity about themselves.” Truth. now I have to be good. Men donʼt need seminars and self-help. so you go and tell her how you feel. Come out of it and take it. • . you would be amazed.”) We like holding onto our “wet blanket” of “weʼre not good enough. etc. Everything you want is outside of your comfort zone. but it doesnʼt matter. thinks sheʼs ugly.
” but you need to move beyond them. Be that guy who is alive! This girl is on a date with you! How fucking fantastic! Enjoy the fucking moment! Get that “WOW” and passion back.” Doesnʼt mean she wants you to call her. We put up masks.• • • • “You know what. Donʼt be excited to get the phone number. Phone numbers are wooden. you tease. o Be curious. The number is not the result. Listen to her. o “Did I show up and do my part as a man?” That is true success. doing something that is not safe or comfortable.” She wants to get to know that funny. • • • First thing out of mouth: Who are you? Tell me about yourself! Curiosity is incredible.” When you are with your guy friends. not being dependent on her. you stop being yourself and a man in hopes of trying to impress her. you expressed your desires with confidence. and feel free to interrupt her. • • • • • Whenever she talks to us. our “cool persona” because we think our real self “sucks. her essence. Techniques can help you “show up. Iʼm a little nervous and Iʼm going to run out of things for sure. The moment a girl shows up. Success is not simply the results we get (ie: phone number. but I just HAD to come here!” Thatʼs powerful there. She can respond however she wants. Our measurement of success needs to go back to ourselves. but listen and be curious about her. Thatʼs CURIOUSITY. too many times we get stuck on the next thing to say. We become “cool” and “indifferent. Why arenʼt you in AWE of what is POSSIBLE? Can you imagine how many great things can happen in this very moment!? Sit down and have a conversation with her. Find out who this woman is in front of us. We need to stop being so mature and serious. You have a choice to see women in a certain way: something normal and unimportant— or as maximally beautiful beings. You just suppressed your MOST ATTRACTIVE self. • • • • Parting thoughts: Stop trying to worry about the next thing to say and just blurt. you are naturally you. Speak about whatʼs on your mind and in the moment. You blurt. date. and you tell dirty jokes. natural guy with your friends. . lay). they are given out en masse because she doesnʼt want to be the “bitch. Get her to reveal herself to you. You are showing up. A woman should be like a surprise gift for you that you are delighted in. Donʼt ask any small questions. in your element. “Iʼm curious about…” Donʼt dump your resume to a girl. you stop that. Stop trying to impress her as opposed to being genuinely interested in her and curious in what she has to say. You are out there.
tell them you see them that way. o Make them feel alive. and tell them the way you want them to be. o Donʼt try to pursue an agenda or get anything. beautiful and radiant.o So when they are in your presence. .
in every moment. . Being authentic and honest serves people the best. Stop trying to figure out how. We can take thirty minutes to watch a sitcom. even without knowing how. o This is not to say you donʼt care about anything/anyone. o Donʼt settle and be afraid of pushing the boundaries of ourselves. donʼt do it. Never stop searching for that. “What do I want?” Points to take away: • • The greatest thing you can give to the world is to be 100%-honed-in on your authentic desire of what you want. but wonʼt spend thirty minutes to sit quietly alone to say “Who am I and what do I want?” It doesnʼt matter if you donʼt have an answer. commitments fantastic. Donʼt think about how to do something. just stay focused in upon what you want. ask yourself. “Is what I am about to do today the best memories I can make? If not. Walk towards your intentions each day and… • • • • Quotable Quote: Ask yourself. Pursue it with passion. Itʼs also not goal-driven of how to get something. In everything you want to do. Making a list of goals doesnʼt work. and I donʼt care how. Not a “wish-list” or goals. o Obligations create resentment and are forced.” • Obligations are sin. Mindset moment: The fundamental question you need to ask yourself is. Explore the confusion! Stop looking for answers and seek mystery. o We rush about our days and donʼt reflect upon ourselves. Itʼs not a mindful thing to wish to be a millionaire. “What do I want?” (Not a bucket list) Itʼs not selfishness.Monte Carlo Sessions: Disk 6 Find out what is true to you in your life. “Iʼve got to do this because…Iʼd rather do this but…” o The greatest commitment you can make to your family and the world: “Who am I and what do I want?” “I donʼt know how. but Iʼm going to walk towards my life today because I set intention this morning about how I want my life to be. because itʼs the greatest thing you can do for people.
She wonʼt throw us through hoops if we are confident in our expression of that. because we lack it. you donʼt trash your exes. If men got more sex. controlling. and look at you!) Compilerʼs note: This is a very hard concept to articulate. you miss all the women youʼve been with. You had fun and memories with her.Re-emphasis of Mindset Moment: Men who love women are loved by women.” our sexual energy. you are elevating her to a representative of all women. cocky and charming. your hair looks fantastic. in contrast. (e. When you compliment her in the context of all women. Stop trying to take energy from women. Men. Look at your dress.” They want woman.g instead of saying. In our quest to be funny. come from a place of scarcity. Iʼve had tons of experience with women and. They know they can go out on any given night and have sex with someone. Points to take away: • Compliment a woman in the context of all women. they would seek something deeper in a girl instead of just wanting to fuck. Men donʼt walk into a club with assurance that they will 100% have sex that night. “She was a wonderful girl. If you love women as much as you say you do. oh my ex-girlfriend was like ______. Itʼs much easier to show than type. “Rise up. Like. They donʼt look for that. • • . We friend-zone ourselves because we are afraid to express that we have a desire for women. Women come from a place of abundance. You believe in women. etc. they generally want something on a deeper level. be beautiful around me!” Donʼt be afraid to show that you are a man and a sexual being. It doesnʼt work. if you truly love women. I love women.g. o E. an adventure.” Instead. Share instead. look at how wonderful you look! Youʼre saying you love women and youʼre not afraid to show it. to get things. They think in the mindset of “getting lucky. make them feel beautiful and feminine around you. • • • • • • Donʼt diminish your ex to make ourselves look better and in the hopes of trying to make the other girl feel better. For sure. but I miss her every day. You donʼt take away from her. we lose connection with our “darkness. Something that captures them. to take things from them. I love you dress.g. (e. wow look at you. and it just didnʼt work out. Sexual Talk: • • Men have a “cloud of horniness” around their eyes. our undertone is to try to covertly say “But youʼre not like that.
o When women meet a man who can meet them with the same kind of strength and speak truth to them. he can study all the books. and vice versa. take all the classes. Our “cloud of horniness” makes it easy to confuse lust with connection. o If we strip away our cloud of horniness. if youʼre not trying to do it! A phone number given out even though it was not your goal will get picked up. o Do these things and women will never forget you. Your “outcome” is the interaction.” We raise our hand for her to spin. without trying to dismiss her and dominate her—even the most haughty and “planet” type women (the ones who have men constantly orbiting them) will become girls again. Mindset moment: Itʼs not what you say to her. but he canʼt truly dance without a partner. o We always think the women that are attractive to us donʼt like us. Points to take away: • • • • • • • • Lead! Never follow! Be honest and upfront with her! Make your interactions infused with fun and adventure Donʼt apologize for your intentions and your desires as a man. If a man is learning to dance. Itʼs up to her if she does it or not. we can “spin” her without forcing her to “turn. Talk to women on the same level as them. not trying to get something from them. they donʼt just want sex. we will find that the women that REALLY attract us are also attracted to us. Dance is a twoperson interaction and when we lead the interaction. Dance Metaphor Example Women want men to lead without being controlling. They are ALL “your girls!” You are a lover of women. and we give her the space to spin around. .• • • On going to seminars on girls: These guys donʼt just want to get laid— they want connection. o Donʼt try to explain or justify yourself. $2000+ can buy a lot of sex. they will open doors for you. They want someone who cares at the fundamental level. Just connect with her and make her a girl again. but what you say to yourself. women will get into your bed.
o You can have one of “rejection. We choose our negativity. I know who I am and Iʼm going to go talk to that girl. Everything in life is the pursuit of money. • Nice guys are nice and attentive. o A woman doesnʼt want to be the adventure. We donʼt know anything about this girl.” that she wonʼt like you. Itʼs a choice. she wants to be taken ON an adventure. “I know what I want. • • • • • Your perspective influences your daily life. NOT her.” The woman doesnʼt even know us. (buy her flowers. A man who has a compelling vision of what he wants in life is attractive to women. Or you can have a perspective that she will like you. It wonʼt. There is no such thing as rejection of “you. o We try to have more in life rather than trying to be more. o A girl has no right to push you down. stop hoping your past will change. we canʼt tell what sheʼs thinking. nor respond to her challenges (ie: shit tests) Quotable quote: You donʼt have to do anything.• Never take advantage of women. o You can choose to have the perspective of inferiority and you will be fighting an uphill battle. – women like that. o They donʼt like the fact that they are 100% available. You have the right to be “spacious” and occupy your space on earth. Our moment is today. Bad guys are focused on other things in life that arenʼt her (drama. but we never live in the NOW. o Stop pursuing money and start pursuing an interesting life. o Or you can have one that is one that is confident in yourself. That is all that matters! Stop worrying about back then. we donʼt have to have to! We think and live in the past. hold her purse etc. . beaten up etc. o Follow what you desire in life and money will follow. and itʼs going to be a fun interaction. You can live your life however you please. an assumption Assumptions belong to ourselves. etc) o They donʼt like being treated badly. I hope my hair is okay…I hope I donʼt say anything stupid…” GIRLS ARE JUST AS CONCERNED AS WE ARE.) they care about her. This guy approached me. Combine the two: be a nice guy who has a purpose in life that isnʼt her. There are many factors at work (ie: she might be getting engaged the next day.” Think about what she is thinking.
o Donʼt work to get past her shield. o You will teach women how to treat you. always strive for greater excellence. you might be with her for the rest of your life. “Forever” isnʼt honest. “You had all these bad things in your life. and all these good things in life that created who you are today. You are who you are today. But I like you today. • You might be with a woman for a few weeks. Never again. Move through life with grace. Donʼt fear commitment. and you can make a change by making a choice about what you want in life. We promise things we canʼt know. to make her feel pretty and smile every day. and women will move into your life in that same way.” • .” “Our past does not matter at all. believe in beauty and romance. o Have that fun energy exuding from you. You canʼt change your past. Take her on an emotional adventure! Parting thoughts: Be honest with yourself for the first time. to make her feel beautiful rather than trying to get her to like you. Points to take away: • • • Give women the gift of fun.) Sincerity and being upfront and honest in your intent is not aggression. comes from a whole different mindset. find women who are delighted in life like you are. o Relationships die because we put a box around them. and you get to choose how you want your steps to go forward tomorrow. o Donʼt back down. the relationship will die. they will give you phone numbers and go to bed with you. If you make women feel pretty and alive. We canʼt know that! Just make a promise that you know who you are and you know who she is. and it may last forever! o If the man and woman arenʼt constantly trying to be more excellent. Complimenting girls in a different way. but you can change your relationship to it. The goal is the interaction. Itʼs that simple.Mindset moment: You are who you are today. And I like you for who you are today. Your past isnʼt going to change. and donʼt be aggressive (in the presumptuous sort of way. Never settle. o Everything you should do with women should be enormous fun.
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