Ineffective Information Mem o

Date: May 1, 200x To: Department Managers From: Waldo Hightower Subject: Hiring As summer approaches, we have been thinking abou t hiring new employees. This is to inform you that w e have scheduled three employment interviewing ses sions. Your presence is required at these sessions to help us avoid making poor selections.

Please mark your calendar for the three times. The fi rst meeting is May 3 in the conference room. The sec ond meeting is May 9 in Office 22 (the conference roo m was scheduled). On May 15 we can finish up in th e conference room. In view of the fact that your proj ects need talented new team members, I should not h ave to urge you to attend and be well prepared. Please examine all the candidates' résumés and send me your ranking lists

3. "should not have to urge you") 5." "In view of the fact that"). Starts indirectly with an explanation ins tead of the main idea. Includes wordy phrases ("This is to infor m you. Does not include end date for returning lists. Fails to develop reader benefits. 4. Fails to list dates for improved readabil ity. . 7. Sounds negative ("avoid making poor sel ections".Faults: 1. 6. 2. "your presence required". Does not provide helpful subject line.

Send me your ranking lists before May 1 so that we can work together to hire the top people you select. . we have scheduled the following three em ployment interviewing sessions: May 3 Conference Room May 9 Office 22 May 15 Conference Room Before the meetings. 200x To: Department Managers From: Waldo Hightower Subject: Schedule for Employment Interviews To help you find talented new team members for you r projects. please examine all the candidat es¶ résumés.Improved Information Memo Date: May 1.

Includes subject line that accurately su mmarizes memo topic. Looks at subject from reader's perspect ive. Avoids negativity. Concludes with end date and reason. achieves positive ton e throughout. Emphasizes reader's benefits. Opens directly with main idea. 5. Eliminates wordy expressions. 7. 2. 8. 3.Improvements: 1. 6. . Lists dates in columns for improved rea dability. 4.

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