FADE IN: INT - THE SEQUENTIAL DETECTIVE AGENCY - NIGHT Drake stands in the doorway.

Smolder and Scullery sit at the desk. DRAKE I'm glad you haven't tried guessing. Drake looks down at his feet and then crouches down. He picks up a dirty envelope and stands up again. SMOLDER What's that? DRAKE It looks like a communiqué. SCULLERY When are people going to learn that slipping notes under doors is the worst way to communicate with other people. It just makes you seem stupid. DRAKE Hey, I slipped a note under your... oh wait. I see what you just did there. Drake hands the note to Smolder. Smolder opens the envelope and pulls a note out. SMOLDER (reading) Hello dearly. I have reason to inform you that deadly deeds have developed in the days most recently. I've involved myself in these entirely dangerous developments and a dandy ally of yours is deeply dug in this dilemma. His life is forfeit if you don't disentangle him during the dancing of the corsairs that develops when darkness overtakes the day. Duration is decisive if death is to be taken down a peg. I will be there to defy you in an act of dissent. Signed. Project Wendigo.

SCULLERY That seems sort of serial-killerish. Drake closes his eyes and SCREAMS. SMOLDER What's wrong with you Drake? SCULLERY Stop screaming! Drake stops screaming. DRAKE I'm sorry guys. I just had a flashback to when I was looking through the Engelsikarios Corporation's files. I know what Project Wendigo looks like and it's scary as hell. SMOLDER So Engelsikarios is behind this. DRAKE I doubt it. The file said that the project was a failure. Maybe it escaped during that big thingamajig and it wants revenge or something stupid like that. SCULLERY Who's the "ally" that's in danger? Smolder closes his eyes. SMOLDER It's Jeff. He's being held captive at some sort of pirate dance party. Smolder opens his eyes. SCULLERY Well that was easy.

SMOLDER Project Wendigo clearly doesn't know who he's messing with. SCULLERY Wendigos are suppose to be Native American human cannibal monsters. This thing doesn't seem like one of those. It can write letters and has a large vocabulary. DRAKE So? SCULLERY Well why'd they call it Project Wendigo if it's not really a wendigo? DRAKE Who cares? SCULLERY Apparently no one. SMOLDER If we're going to infiltrate this party and save Jeff we're gonna need disguises. DRAKE To the costume store! CUT TO: INT. DANCE HALL - NIGHT

There are 8 tables forming a circle around the dance floor. There's a food table in the South Eastern corner of the room and there's a DJ booth in the Northern area of the room. In the North Western corner of the room is a large curtained area. Numerous people dressed as PIRATES are either dancing on the dance floor or sitting at the tables. EASTERN SIDE OF THE ROOM

Drake, dressed as a pirate, pops out from underneath one of the tables and sneaks over to the--FOOD TABLE --and pulls out a vial. He starts pouring the contents of the vial all over the food and in the punch bowl. Drake whispers into his sleeve. DRAKE The refreshments have been tainted. WESTERN SIDE OF THE ROOM Smolder pops out from underneath one of the tables. He is also dressed as a pirate. He whispers into his sleeve. SMOLDER Instigate a food riot. FOOD TABLE Drake turns to the dance floor. DRAKE (yelling) Me mateys! The grub be running out soon. Last call for hearty deliciousness. All the pirates rush over to the food table. Drake avoids the people and makes his way into the-EASTERN SIDE OF THE ROOM --and sits down at one of the tables. WESTERN SIDE OF THE ROOM Smolder crawls out from underneath the table and sits in one of the chairs. He whispers into his sleeve. SMOLDER Scullery, time to take over the DJ booth.

NORTHERN SIDE OF THE ROOM Scullery, dressed as a pirate, pops out from underneath a table and sneaks into the DJ booth. She whispers into her sleeve. SCULLERY What kind of music should I play? WESTERN SIDE OF THE ROOM SMOLDER The ultimate chill out music. EASTERN SIDE OF THE ROOM DRAKE Play Hungry Hungry Hippos! NORTHERN SIDE OF THE ROOM SCULLERY That's a board game not a song! WESTERN SIDE OF THE ROOM The SOUND of the pirates at the food table getting rowdy. SMOLDER It sounds like the drugs kicking in. Just start playing something quick. NORTHERN SIDE OF THE ROOM Scullery starts playing some music. The SOUND of the music fills the room. FOOD TABLE ONE THE PIRATES Arrr, let's get this party started mateys!

The pirates all rush over to the-DANCE FLOOR --and they all start dancing. WESTERN SIDE OF THE ROOM Smolder surveys the room. SMOLDER Okay Drake, its time to search for Jeff. EASTERN SIDE OF THE ROOM DRAKE Can't you use your thingamajig to find him. WESTERN SIDE OF THE ROOM SMOLDER For some reason I can't pinpoint his exact location but he's somewhere in this room. Smolder starts checking underneath all the tables on the western side. EASTERN SIDE OF THE ROOM Drake starts checking underneath all the tables on the eastern side. DRAKE So are pirates dangerous? WESTERN SIDE OF THE ROOM SMOLDER That's a complicated question. If you asked Carolco Pictures they'd probably say yes. They'd also probably say showgirls are dangerous though so asking them would probably be a waste of time since they went bankrupt.

Smolder moves to the-NORTHERN SIDE OF THE ROOM --and checks underneath the tables there. SMOLDER On the other hand if you asked Disney they'd say pirates are a good investment. EASTERN SIDE OF THE ROOM DRAKE I get the feeling were not really talking about actual pirates. Drake moves to the-SOUTHERN SIDE OF THE ROOM --and starts checking underneath the tables there. DRAKE Also, and this is gonna sound crazy coming from me, doesn't this whole plan make no sense. NORTHERN SIDE OF THE ROOM SMOLDER We were in a hurry. Smolder looks over at the curtained area. SMOLDER I'm checking behind the curtained area. Smolder casually strolls over and enters-THE CURTAINED AREA --where he discovers Jeff locked up in a cage.

JEFF Smolder! Smolder rushes over to the cage and tries to open it. JEFF There's no lock. It's completely solid. SMOLDER How'd he get you in here then? JEFF I don't know. I just woke up inside it. WENDIGO (O. S.) Darling I do declare, these dark times are upon us. Do we fight or do you die? WENDIGO enters the curtained area. He's dressed like a homeless man and has a large scruffy beard. He's very animal like. In his hands are two swords. SMOLDER We fight I guess. Wendigo throws one of the swords at Smolder and he catches it. Wendigo HOWLS loudly and the MUSIC stops. WENDIGO (yelling) Delicious declarations have been declared! SOUTHERN SIDE OF THE ROOM DRAKE What's going on? DJ BOOTH SCULLERY I don't know Drake.

THE CURTAINED AREA The curtains fall revealing Wendigo and Smolder to everyone else in the room. Smolder backs up as Wendigo advances towards him and they enter-THE DANCE FLOOR --where the pirates form a circle around them. SMOLDER Scullery! Play something with a lot of bass! Scullery starts PLAYING music with a lot of bass. Drake joins the circle. DRAKE Ready? FIght! Wendigo lunges towards Smolder who parrys the attack. Smolder spins around and tries to take out Wendigos legs. Wendigo jumps over Smolder's sword and punches Smolder in the face. Smolder falls back, does a backwards somersault, knocks some of the pirates out of the way. Wendigo chops down at Smolder but Smolder rolls backwards over a table. Wendgio's sword chops into the table. Smolder jumps up on the table and kicks Wendigo in the face. Wendigo pulls his sword out of the table and tires to take out Smolder's legs. Smolder jumps over Wendigo's sword and lands back on the table. The table buckles and falls towards Wendigo. Smolder lunges off the falling table at Wendigo, knocks him over, and jumps to his feet. Smolder swings his sword at Wendigo but Wendigo blocks his attack as he gets up. They circle each other. WENDIGO My dimensional distortion of dreamlike darkness that brought about my birth definitely wasn't planned to make me such a disgusting abomination. Wendigo swings his sword at Smolder's head but Smolder parries his attack, spins around, and smacks Wendigo in the face with the back of his fist. WENDIGO I've been damned by the corporations deeply set desire to destroy their enemies

by experimenting in devilish magics they don't comprehend. Smolder thrusts his sword at Wendigo and cuts his arm. Wendigo grabs Smolder's sword and pulls Smolder close to him. WENDIGO (whispering) I use to be human. Wendigo trips Smolder. Smolder falls to the floor. Wendigo gets ready to kill Smolder. SUDDENLY Drake jumps at Wendigo knocking him over and stabbing him in the neck with a fork. WENDIGO (quietly) Death... Drake stands up and Wendigo's dead body disappears in a flash of light. Scullery rushes over to Drake. SCULLERY Are you okay Drake? DRAKE I'm fine. Jeff runs over to Drake and hugs him. JEFF You freed me. Smolder gets up off the floor and looks around at all the shocked and stoned looking pirates. SMOLDER You're probably all wondering what just happened... well... (pauses) Run! Smolder, Jeff, Scullery, and Drake all run out of the room. The pirates all look around at each other.

ONE OF THE PIRATES Party! The pirates all start dancing around again. CUT TO: INT - THE SEQUENTIAL DETECTIVE AGENCY - NIGHT Smolder, Scullery, Jeff, and Drake all enter the office. They start taking off parts of their pirate costumes. SCULLERY I have to say... that was really bizarre. SMOLDER I don't think you had to say that. JEFF Yeah. It was self evident. DRAKE Did all of that really happen? Smolder lays down on the couch. SMOLDER It sure did Drake. You stepped up to the plate and saved my life. I didn't think you had it in you. Scullery sits down at the desk. JEFF (to Drake) I know you don't remember anything about our friendship but... I still care about you and I hope we can become friends again. DRAKE I hope we can too.

SCULLERY So were those people actually pirates or were they just pretending to be pirates? SMOLDER Does it matter? SCULLERY Not really. The phone RINGS. Scullery answers the phone. SCULLERY (into the phone) Hello? (pauses) Oh hi Ryanne... (pauses) An explosion! (pauses) Are you okay? (pauses) Okay I'll tell him. Scullery hangs up. SCULLERY Ryanne Fasthorse wanted me to tell you that the Anders are preparing to attack Washington. CUT TO BLACK: THE END