If You Really Loved Me Tim Minchin Tabbed by: Patrick Cason Gm If you really loved me D7/F# the way you say

you do Bb/F If you love me half as much C7/E as I love you Cm7/Eb Bb You would pluck a planet from the sky A D You¶d use a star to dot the ³i´ Gm D7/F# In I love you... that is what you¶d do Bb/F You'd take a dreary day C7/E and you would paint it blue Cm7/Eb Bb If you loved me unconditionally A These are the things D that you would do for me Because I need you Like a fish needs the sea Like a fire needs oxygen Like a flower needs a bee And if you really care for me You¶d let me video you while you wee Standing up in the bath, I shouldn¶t even have to ask Perhaps you¶ll even store a little more in a flask These are just the things that people do A D Gm When their love for one another is true Ba da da We go together Like a cracker and Brie Like racism and ignorance Like bling and R&B But if you really want to show you care You¶d let me wear your underwear When we visit your mum's, it's a bit of harmless fun I just like talking about your childhood with some lace between my buns There¶s no reason for a big to -do If your love for one another is true Ba da da We go together Like a bird in a nest Like Internet and porn Like guns and the US And if you love me

like you say that you do You'd purchase forty cockatoo And teach them to fly in formation in the sky And shit the words ³Tim is God´ on my ex-girlfriend¶s Hyundai Sure, it might be easier with doves But shirking challenges is not what love Eb Is all about D Eb Love is not all wine and roses D Eb Sometimes it¶s handcuffs and cheese C/E F No-one said love is for free Am/E And if you agree with that Cm/Eb You'll sing me passages from the Koran D7 Gm wearing nothing but a Bob the Builder hat Dmaj#5/Gb (or... D/Gb) To the tune of waltzing Matilda Dm/F Gm/E I just love the combination of Islam, Eb/F F E nationalism and buil--der

--*SOLO*-- (Best of luck...) (Builder) (Islam) (Nationalism) (And a little bitty builder) (Islam) (Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy) (And Bob the fucking Builder) ... (Let Bob the fucking Builder!)

Am Because I need you E7/Ab Like a tick needs a tock C/G Like bananas need pyjamas D7/F# Like a nun needs cock Dm7/F C But if you want to put your love for me first B E You wouldn¶t go through childbirth Am You¶d agree to adopt E7/Ab so that you could stay thin C/G We¶ll get a Chinese kid,

Eb I guess I¶m self-employed F7/A but do I still pay as I go? Fm7/Ab G And does the threshold apply to me? C G And should I register for GST? C G And if you love me unconditionally A D Gm Would you let me video you while you wee? C Assuming there's nothing worth watching on the ABC .D7/F# it could teach us Mandarin Dm7/F C And communists don¶t make as much noise B And they¶re really good E Am G at sharing their toys Cm Because I dig you G/B Like an Aussie digs pies Eb Like Born-Agains dig Jesus F7/A Like Jesus dug guys Fm7/Ab G And if you love me unconditionally D G You¶d do my tax return for me Cm Cos it¶s way overdue. G/B and I just don¶t know.