Strictly Taboo By Rebekah Theisen Emma Sparks was standing in front of her last class of the day.

She was ready for this day to be over. It seemed extremely long due to the fact that they were on an extended schedule, because of state mandated testing this morning. This was her only class that had mixed grade levels, which made things difficult at times. The mixed maturity levels often caused for many distractions during the fifty-five minute class. There were also a few students that were good at distracting her and getting her off topic, which was every middle school students’ dream. Because of testing this morning, she had given her class free time to work on their book reports. Most of them had worked diligently during the period, and a few of them had chosen to talk which she didn’t mind today, because they had been cooped up in testing for so long. Ring…. Finally! Emma thought to herself, as she noticed one of her students heading to the door. “Kai, back to your seat please,” Emma commanded. “Who dismisses this class?” “You do, Ms. Sparks,” Kai said, as he sulked back to his seat. “And what does not dismiss this class?” she asked him. “The bell,” he replied with his head down. “Don’t forget everyone,” she said turning her attention back to the rest of the class, “your monthly book report is due Friday. That only leaves you two days to finish it.” Emma paused and waited for her sixth period class to be silent, which didn’t take long since they knew the routine, and they knew she didn’t deviate from this when there was a special schedule for the day. The longer they talked, the more their chances of missing the bus increased. “You’re dismissed,” she said with a little smile to herself. This class sure has come a long way from the beginning of the year, she thought, as she sat down at her very well organized desk and entered the last of the grades from Tuesday’s test. She then put the test in the basket of items that needed to be passed back to the students, and went on to get the classroom ready for the next day’s lesson. Once she was finished, she headed to Caleb’s classroom next door. When she walked in he looked up and winked at her. She blushed and smiled back. “Are you ready?” she asked. “Almost,” Caleb replied. “Can I do anything to help you?” “Sure, can you change the dates on the boards?” he asked with a sly grin. 1

“Yes. Emma. 2 . he could still make her blush with just a simple look? She changed the dates for him. “I love you. She set down the lunch tote and held on for dear life. “I’ll be done in about five minutes if you want to get your stuff. The drive home was nothing special. “Those can wait. that she had almost given up hope of sneaking in some “us” time. as her knees got weak. and then asked.” He whispered. Why was it that. she was starting to think she should feel lucky that they rode to work together every chance they got. “Are you going to stay for a little while today?” She knew the answer would be no. He knew that was her favorite place to be kissed.” He looked up and gave her that killer smile. He gently brushed his lips against the spot on her nape. Caleb told her he was proud of her and she did the right thing for that situation. They talked about their day. Emma was in the process of putting her lunch dishes in the kitchen sink when Caleb came up behind her and gently put his hands on her hips. but his answer had been no for so long. but felt the need to ask anyway. tracing the line that her favorite deep red and tarnished silver necklace rested on. It was all Emma could do to keep from dropping her lunch bag and the dishes that remained inside of it. for the past two months if he was going to stay at her place and spend some well needed time together. after three years. she has an appointment and won’t be home until after 6:30 pm. She reached out to the counter for support. as she called it.” His lips were so close to that spot at the base of her neck that she felt an intensely hot shiver rush down her spine. She also told him that if he continued she would have to call his parents and get the administration involved.” “Ok!” Emma rushed off to grab her things. and she told him that he apologized and told her he wouldn’t say it again. She had been asking every day. and how she explained to him that he needed to stop saying things like that to her because it was inappropriate. When they got to her apartment Caleb helped her with her stuff and they headed inside. Emma told Caleb about how one of her students. Caleb asked her what Kyle had said to that. had told her she was beautiful for the fifth time in two weeks. “Really? That’s great!” She beamed. Kyle. He leaned forward and whispered. He turned her in his arms and kissed her with such passion and desire that she melted instantly. He had been so busy with all the volunteer work he had been doing. Caleb replied. She hurried back to his classroom and they headed out to the truck. until after the end of the school year.” She blushed again. and it made her feel uncomfortable. She was so delighted he finally had some time for her. “Yeah.

“God you are so beautiful. She loved it when he touched her like that. “I’ll be home soon. not possible. Caleb answered as he got up he looked over his shoulder at Emma lying in the bed. He was just trying to wait for the right time to tell his family. Her heart soared and filled with all the love she had for him. She knew he hated Heather because of it. She could barely hear the conversation but she could imagine what was being said. “Fine. He rolled over and reached down to grab his pants. Emma knew that wasn’t true. It caused a little doubt to creep into her mind. 3 .It made her so happy when he said those tender words to her. he ran his fingers through her strawberry blonde hair and down her bare arm. enjoying every moment they had together. They spent the rest of the afternoon in each other’s arms.” he would respond. Caleb’s smiling face peaked through and he apologized like always. Caleb.” Caleb said coming towards the closed bedroom door. The part that she hated hearing was when he would tell Heather that he loved her. “Love you too. and she nodded. Caleb was admiring Emma and running his fingers through her long. She knew the routine. before he got dressed and rush out the door to beat her home. “Ok. curly hair. Emma also knew that he loved her and that they would be together soon. They would chat about what was for dinner. They both knew the ringtone and knew he had to answer it. then he closed the door. The door opened. just like her students knew theirs. “Ok. He casually sat next to her on the bed.” he would answer. “I love you too.” Heather would say. he had just leaned in to kiss her again when his phone started to ring. try to reassure Emma in some small way that he truly loved her and not Heather. He had told her how they haven’t been together as husband and wife for over two years. He would come back into the bedroom and apologize for the interruption.” she heard him say as he hung up the phone. and pushed the thought aside. The expression on his face when he rolled his eyes made Emma giggle. “How was your day?” Heather would ask. Was he still in love with Heather? No. Emma couldn’t believe how convincing he sounded when he told Heather that. She knew about all the fights they have been having and how Heather treated him in front of his friends. He motioned for her to stay quiet as he walked out of the room. or about the house work that needed to be done and then he would hang up. Of course they would exchange their good-byes before they did.” he whispered.” She whispered against his lips. She hated this part. she thought to herself.

Emma grabbed her plush fuchsia terry cloth robe and put on her best smile. She thought to her self. Her heart sored so high at that moment. He gave her one last lingering kiss. as she shot up in bed. She was crying and begging me to stay. “She just looked at me! She was so shocked. “I have to go. She knew there would be time for that later. Emma was lying on her bed watching the eleven o’clock news when her phone rang unexpectedly.” was all Emma managed to whisper as she sat there and listened to him go on. looking down at his bare chest to try to hide the hurt that she was feeling. and I wasn’t going to put up with it any more. the hot moist tears that she had been trying so hard to hold back started to trickle down her cheeks. I packed up the truck and left her standing there. I couldn’t believe that the words I’ve wanted to say to her finally came out of my mouth. She could hear something wrong in his voice. I told her I couldn’t take any more of her verbal abuse. There was a long pause before he answered. “I told Heather that I was leaving her. and she pulled the covers up to her chin.” He paused and took a deep calming breath. “I’m on my way to my parent’s house. and I just couldn’t take it.” Caleb returned somberly. I told her to shut the fuck up! I actually said that to her.” “Wow. then headed out the door.” Emma sighed softly.Emma could feel her cheeks turning pink. it’s finally happening! “She was yelling at me again. She was going on about everything that I do. “she’s on her way home. If the house needs cleaning. He hugged her close and told her he loved her with all of his heart. She just wouldn’t stop belittling me.” 4 . “Hello. because there afternoon was coming to an end. so that she would not break down and cry in front of him. how I don’t do anything around the house right! I’m the one that does everything around that house. and how it’s all wrong.” “What?” Emma asked trying to hide her excitement. When Caleb came out of the bedroom she quickly dried her hands on her robe and walked to the door with him. I just can’t be with her anymore.” answered Emma with a worried tone in her voice.” “I know. “What’s the matter honey?” she asked. She meandered into the kitchen and tried to busy herself with the rest of her lunch dishes. “Hi babe. He smiled at her before he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. As soon as she slid the dead bolt into place. She just sits around on her ass when she gets home from work. “Emma. I do it! Not her.” he murmured. As he got dressed.

don’t you? You helped me through it and listened to me when I needed someone to talk to.” Emma answered. It was a beautiful house that had plenty of room for the 5 . You don’t deserve to be treated like that.” Emma couldn’t believe it.” “Thanks baby. She could hear it in his voice. “but at the same time I didn’t. She was starting to have doubts that Caleb would ever find the right time to tell Heather that he wanted a divorce. But at the same time. I feel like a scum bag for hurting her. “She keeps trying to call me.“I know Caleb. and leaving her standing there like that. I love you. because he finally realized that our marriage was in jeopardy.” “Did you feel like a shitty person when you first left Scott?” “I did. She had more time with Caleb than they had in the past six months.” “I love you too Caleb.” Emma continued. “Please tell me it will be ok? I need to know that this will get easier Emma. thinking. and I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere by myself.” “Then don’t answer her. “It gets easier. but I do need to call my parents and let them know I am coming over.” “Ok. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.” He paused. it was also the best thing I have ever done. They talked about everything they had only dared to dream about before. and had finally agreed on this amazing four bedroom on an acre of land. I really don’t want to talk to her.” “Oh Caleb. I promise. She felt like she was dreaming. We fought all the time and even though I knew I was hurting him. I’m sure you remember how it was for me. but at the same time she knew Caleb was having a hard time with what had just happened.” Emma cooed. They had truly started planning for their future together.” “I’m not. I was so trapped for so long. “You are such a good person and you deserve to be happy.” Emma felt like she was on cloud nine. I need time to calm down. it was the hardest thing I have ever done.” “Ok. “I’m not going to lie Caleb. I’ll be up for a little while longer. She couldn’t believe he did it! Now her heart was racing and she started to let herself dream a little about having a life with him and it was an amazing feeling. call me back if you need anything. You remember. It really does get easier. When I went through this with Scott it was very hard at first. I wasn’t allowed to have friends outside of the few he approved of. so I chose to brave the choice I made so that I could have the happiness I want. They started looking for a house to rent. The next four weeks were a blissful blur for Emma.” She said reassuringly. I couldn’t take it anymore.

When she got into Caleb’s truck that afternoon she was all smiles.” He started to say.” She reminded him. “I talked to my parents last night. “This doesn’t mean that I don’t want a life with you. Everything was going better than Emma had ever dreamed. “And?” she questioned. He grabbed her hand and gave it a gentle reassuring squeeze and then brought it to his lips.” “Oh. and forced a small smile. They sat in silence for a few minutes. gently letting his kiss linger on her warm skin for a few moments before he went on. and she didn’t like where this was going either. It was also big enough for guest. I feel that if I do move in with you then they might not accept you as a part of my life. but she kept herself in check and let him continue.” “Oh? And what did you tell them?” “I told them I’d give it some thought. It was all she could do to fight back the tears that were welling up on the heavily mascaraed lashes of her big brown eyes. They were getting ready to sign the lease papers the next day.” 6 . “What’s on your mind sweetheart?” Emma asked with a concerned look in her eyes. I just need a little more time before we start our life together. With that being said he blurted out.” “I understand.two of them. Caleb glanced over at her. if you have something to say then just say it. or if they decided to start a family of their own. Remember. They said that they don’t want me to throw away the last five years of my marriage. It shouldn’t be more than a month. “You know that I like things to the point. “Oh please.” he paused. Emma was getting a little impatient with his vagueness. which they had been talking about a little more lately. but this time Caleb kept squirming in his seat. “I don’t know how to bring this up. and saw that she was having a hard time with what he had just told her. we can always tell each other anything. “They want me to try again with Heather. “I hope you understand that I need to do this to prove to my parents that it is really over between us. which was not unusual for them. “I feel like I can’t move in with you until I have tried to appease my parents.” He paused again.” Emma teased. Really? Could he blame her? He just put a halt to their plans that they had been making the past month. he was acting like one of her students who got caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing. not sure how to go on. Deep down she really felt like her heart had just been ripped out of her chest and stomped on. should they have family visit. “and have you?” “I have.” “Hmm…” Emma didn’t like the tone of his voice.” She lied.” Emma replied as she looked out the window pretending that something had caught her eye.

She looked out the window again. and that hole was caused by the bomb that he just placed in her lap.” No matter what he said it wouldn’t take away the pain he had just caused her. she thought as she realized they were pulling into her complex. Emma unbuckled her seatbelt. She lay there for hours. She barely made it through the door before the wave of tears overtook her. trying to fight the lump that had lodged itself in her throat. To tell him that if he loved her then he wouldn’t be going back to Heather. Her thoughts were running wild. which was no easy feat in stilettos. “Yes. even though she was trying to be stoic and not cry in front of him. the tears started to roll down her cheeks. She felt like she had a huge hole inside of her. but he managed to say. and refused to let go. I promise it won’t be much longer.” He glanced over at her. They rounded the corner and pulled into a parking spot. The pain could be seen in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away and focused her attention on the road passing by. trying to get him to let go. threw herself onto her bed and just let it all out. If he loved her he would be with her right now and never look back. Does that make sense baby?” Emma tried to smile for Caleb. knowing that he was watching her. She didn’t know how much longer she could hold back the tears.” He pulled her close and kissed her with all that he had. That he wouldn’t need to give his marriage one final try. When he finally let her go she grabbed her bags and practically ran upstairs. Caleb held onto her other hand. “Another reason I need to do this is I don’t want to have any regrets about the choice I make. She was grateful that they were almost to her apartment. to try to understand his reasoning. She didn’t want to think. “I’m so sorry Emma.” she commanded softly. Thank God. I want to move forward in our relationship and I need to do this so that we can.He went on. “Emma. She knew he would really regret it if he didn’t do this. Emma finally looked at him. She felt like her heart was in a million pieces. She just wanted to go back to before Caleb told her he was 7 . She dropped everything and ran to her room. The pain in her voice and the hurt in her eyes choked him up. he always waited until she made it inside before he pulled away. She wanted to scream at him. I don’t want to have any reason to blame you for my divorce. She fumbled with the keys. She hated crying in front of anyone. the sobs racking through her body. “Please Caleb.” she replied weakly. She needed to go upstairs and sort this all out. “You know I love you baby and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. and reached for the door handle. I want you to know I love you and I promise we will be together. or even feel right now. and mostly she needed to cry. It wasn’t working though.

She didn’t understand. like they were supposed to. She was still in her work clothes. It was around one o’clock in the morning when Emma woke up. like a bandage was being ripped off the huge hole in her heart. That way she and Caleb could go sign the lease papers tomorrow. and so physically tired. Then they could start moving into their new house. It was a cross between an apology and shame. “Emma. she hoped and prayed with all that she had. Caleb. She slid them off and walked into the bathroom. She didn’t cry as hard as last time though. baby. “This is me. She managed to wash her face and change her clothes. So when he came into her classroom after school Friday afternoon.” he started. and managed to eat most of it without crying. She saw the looks he gave her in the hallways. When she was through she headed back to bed and set her alarm and sent Caleb a text that said she was driving herself in the morning. As her eyelids drifted closed.” She lied.” she stated in a matter of fact tone. One look in the mirror was all it took for the tears to start again. “why are you avoiding me?” “I’m not avoiding you. “Emma. You can’t hide your emotions from me. The way her eye make-up was running down her cheeks left her looking like a bedraggled raccoon. The rest of the week she drove herself to work everyday. She felt so hurt every time she looked at him.” he said in that tone he used when he knew she was trying to keep from hurting his feelings. She didn’t really feel like looking at him right now. She crawled back in bed. For a moment all you could hear was the sound of the dry erase marker squeaking across the board. She was surprised that she still had her stilettos on as well. that when she woke up in the morning she would find that what happened after work was all a really bad dream. “I don’t want to talk just yet. “We need to talk about this” “Hmm.” “You’ve been avoiding me all week.going back to a loveless marriage for a little while longer. Karma. “Really?” she asked scornfully. and start their lives together. She felt so betrayed which was ironic because wasn’t she the one that betrayed her marriage. she kept her back to him and busied herself with writing the objectives for Monday’s lesson on the board. She needed time.” 8 .” She sneered. she felt so emotionally drained. Who else knows you better then I do?” He asked her. and you need to stop. She even fixed herself a snack. Couldn’t wrap her brain around it. She couldn’t take it when he looked at her like that. She still didn’t want to spend too much time with Caleb. “I’m not ready for this Caleb. She thought to herself and half chuckled.

“We were so close to finally having our chance at happiness. but I want you to know I’m not happy about this. “Caleb. she could see he felt so ashamed for how he had hurt her. “I promise you Emma. “I can’t take that. So forgive me if I don’t understand. I do love you Caleb. Do you think you can please give me till then?” He paused waiting for an answer. Emma stood there in silence for a few minutes. Heather wants to try marriage counseling. I hurt!” she countered. one where I don’t have to share you with another woman. “I want this baby.” “Emma. I can’t take this too much longer. He usually didn’t do that at work for fear of someone catching them. It breaks my heart every time you do. You are the one I love Emma. with all that I am. and you took that away from us. and I agreed to go.” She hissed at him. I’m just going to the first session and then I’m done. When it didn’t come he continued. Our appointment is in two weeks. It makes me feel like you pity me and I don’t want your pity Caleb. I will give you the two weeks. You are the one I think about all the time. I want a life with you. I feel like you have ripped out my heart.” he said “Yeah.” He said as he motioned to her and then to himself. She whirled around “I’m not the one who looks at me the way you have been looking at me all week. I’m doing this to appease my parents.” she said softly. I want your love.” He said pleading with her. you said that too!” she retorted. You are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with Emma. I need to prove to them that my marriage is over. “I need you in my life. “I want you. That’s all I have ever wanted for us. but you need to know that doing this is killing me inside. but at this moment she could see that he needed to feel her close to him. Caleb looked down. “I hurt in a way that I have never hurt before. I’m not doing this to hurt you.” He crossed the room and took her in his arms.” He paused.” “You’ve already told me that. “I can’t watch you go home to her every night. we will be together. and that’s why I am giving you the time.“I need to stop!” she started to raise her voice and then realized that they were standing in her classroom and someone might hear them. so close to starting our life together. Letting the words he had said sink in. “I’m so sorry Emma.” “Because Caleb. please try to understand.” She said with a sarcastic wave of her hand. it’s all I think about. That’s all I want.” “Then why can’t you take my word for it and know that I still want to be with you and have a life with you as well. You are the one that makes me happy.” He 9 . You are the only one for me baby. “All I’m asking for is a little time. She started to turn and face the board again.

” He let her go. The two weeks seemed to drag on. and cleaned her room. He had to leave work as soon as the students left because of the appointment with the marriage counselor. and all that I ever will be. “I love you with all that I am. and then tenderly kissed him.kissed the top of her head. There was too much to do in her classroom. “You better get out of here before someone sees us.” “Ok. She really couldn’t focus right now. when she should be putting the grades from today’s assignment into her grade book.” Emma replied looking up from her computer screen. She gave him a shy smile as he headed to the door. She decided to set up the board for tomorrow. a little voice inside of her whispered. When she finished that task.” she said. With that he left the room.” “Ok” she agreed. So many questions that she wanted to ask but didn’t know how. I’m leaving. she still 10 . not knowing what else to say. and avoided all conversation about how things were going with his marriage. The afternoon before his appointment he let Emma know that she would have to drive the next day. You’re a fool. She only saw him while they were at work and on the drive to and from work. and she was eager to see how it went after the meeting. Things between Caleb and Emma seemed to pretty much go back to the way they were before he had decided to leave his wife. and winked at her. No. and turned back to finish setting up her classroom. “Good Luck. They managed to make idle chitchat on their drive. She smiled at him and returned the sign. “Thanks. Caleb stuck his head into her classroom and said. Emma was thankful that the appointment day was finally here. “Hey. He wants to be with me. and we need to do it this way so his family knows it is really over.” Emma smiled weakly at him.” He winked at her and held up his hand. she told the voice and pushed away the thoughts. Then she playfully shoved him away and said. hiding the ‘I love you’ sign he was making with his fingers from anyone that might be walking by. and abandoned the graded papers on her desk. and left Emma sitting there with so many thoughts running through her mind. When he pulled back he looked in her milk chocolate brown eyes and said. and she wasn’t ready to head home either. I’m not I’m doing the right thing. “I’m driving next week and I’ll be there to pick you up Monday morning. She sat there staring at the computer screen and just let her mind wonder.

“How cliché of you. She kept telling herself that this would be over soon and they could be together. “We will get through this. “I know. There was no counseling. She decided to just head home and finish the grades tomorrow.” “Oh…” She mumbled trying not to sound like she just had another piece of her heart ripped out. She didn’t see this coming.” “You’re going again?” Emma asked confused. She kept thinking to herself over and over again that all she wanted was to be with Caleb. She could feel the lump building in her throat. “how did last night go?” “Not like I thought it would go.” There was a look of anguish in her eyes. next thing she knew a month had passed. She knew he wouldn’t be able to continue this façade of a marriage anymore. “How so?” “It was a get to know you session with the counselor. The next week went the same as the week before. Why was it so difficult when they were so close to their goal? “I’m trying. because we didn’t talk about anything Emma. When they got there they gathered their things and walked in to the building in a melancholy silence. I can’t just tell her after last night that I’m really leaving. “Why is this so hard?” she asked more rhetorically then really wanting an answer. “I feel like I have to because we didn’t really discuss anything.” Caleb said glancing over at her. The next morning Caleb picked her up for work.” She answered trying her best to smile back at him. Did he tell her last night? How did she take it? Who cares how she took it. She was sure he would tell her last night. “Please try to understand baby. That week turned into another and another.” He could tell that didn’t help much. but she waited again. Our next appointment is when the counseling starts.couldn’t focus.” he said with a reassuring smile. She didn’t quite know what to expect when she got in the truck. They really didn’t say much more on the way to work. “Really?” She asked puzzled. She didn’t understand why he didn’t tell her. 11 .” she whispered. and nothing had changed. He smiled reassuringly at her and said. “Love is. She rolled her eyes at him. He told her that he was going to yet another counseling session. I need to do this right for my parents. She gathered her thing and headed out the door. Emma began to wonder if things would ever change in their favor. Which didn’t make sense to Emma. and always will be. would they be able to move forward with their plans? “So…” she ventured. the greatest and the worst thing in life.” Emma stared out the window.

They had been to the major theme parks. but what time they did share was amazing. When the woman realized this fact she found the inner strength to confront the situation. She instantly loved Clearwater Beach. She had been pushing those thoughts aside for so long now. She couldn’t help but feel a little relief when he answered so adamantly. “Ok” she whispered as a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. the movies. She felt like it described everything about her and Caleb. The song was about a woman who was in love with a man she couldn’t have because he was married. It was almost like that topic was a strictly taboo. That is. They didn’t spend as much time together as Emma had wanted. The water was so warm and amazingly clear. That opened a wound in Emma that she hadn’t been ready to face. It was a wound that had festered over time even though she had kept trying to ignore it. Their day was wonderful like the others they had shared that summer. The woman kept begging the man to stay with her and not go home to his wife. she had the air conditioning cranked up. “Absolutely. See. Emma was starting to get restless with the wait. Something she was becoming way too good at. They had completely enjoyed the day. when a song came on the radio that really hit home with her. until the end of the song. The woman told the man that the next time he felt the need to come to her. It was enough to satisfy her for now. That voice was really getting the better of her. Emma instantly loved the song. and out to a few lunches. he needed to just stay with his wife because she wasn’t waiting for him any more. but most of all just enjoyed the time they had together. “Caleb. She started to feel a renewed hope for them. They had finally gone to the beach. and she didn’t want to spoil her plans with Caleb today so she pushed them aside once again. as she listened she noticed that the woman in the song finally came to the realization that the man she loved was never going to leave his wife. but she also knew she couldn’t picture herself with anyone else. She knew that Caleb loved her and that they were going to be together very soon. On their drive home Emma couldn’t take it any longer. Emma!” He smiled. They really didn’t talk like they used to about what Caleb was going through with Heather. are we ever going to have the life we want together?” she asked timidly. She wasn’t sure she could handle the answer. But the thought that had nagged Emma that morning kept creeping back into her mind and she had to fight several times to push it back down. They made every moment count.The summer had come and was half over. Emma swore that she would never go to the east coast ever again. and the radio blasting. She was on her way to Caleb’s house one morning. she told that little voice in her 12 . wishing she could take it back the moment the words passed her lips.

before Emma politely excused herself saying she was on a time crunch because she had somewhere to be. She was just going to have to try harder to ignore it and enjoy dinner with Caleb. Emma put on her best smile and said. He had told her how unhappy his marriage was. Emma looked at Caleb. but she was under the impression that things were not like that with Caleb and Heather. She couldn’t stand there any longer. How much longer? The voice countered. It was all she could do to finish her shopping. This was however. “Emma. and she believed him. “Oh I’m good. This wasn’t the first time she had seen the two of them together when she was out and about.” Heather replied. how about you?” “We’re doing good. Unfortunately that little voice asked again.” he smiled “remember we moved your car incase we were going to be late. and then he smiled at Heather. who for a split second gave her a look that crossed between an apology and a plea for help. looking over at Caleb. I just have to wait a little longer. She was so elated. She managed to make it out her car and pull out of the store parking lot before she started crying again. She got to have more time with him. “What do you want to do for dinner” Caleb interrupted her thoughts? “Do we have time for dinner?” She asked confused. Emma and Caleb had plans to spend Monday together and Emma decided that this would be the perfect time to confront Caleb 13 . why would he lie to her? Her heart felt like it had stopped. I’ll come up with some reason that I’m going to be home after her. She started to turn around when Heather spotted her. the first time she had seen them actually holding hands. She didn’t want to live like this forever. and she knew what married couples did. Emma couldn’t contain her smile. They made small talk for a few painful minutes. We are going to be able to start our life together. “Sure. How are you?” she asked. She knew they were married. How much longer? She couldn’t seem to quiet that nagging voice.head. That weekend she was out grocery shopping when she ran into Caleb and Heather. How could I be so stupid? Why didn’t I this coming? He has no intention of leaving her! Emma was tired of all the hiding and the lies she had told to keep their relationship a secret. Emma didn’t know what to think. and laughing. She wanted to run. which was a lie. He wasn’t rushing home to her.

Then she took a calming breath before she went on.” he said with a smile.” he said looking down at his feet. “That’s not fair. It’s been almost four years since we started dating Caleb. but you can’t do that in return for me. Emma.” she yelled. “We need to talk Caleb.” She was getting frustrated. “She gets to spend her nights next to you in bed. Other times I think I can wait forever for you. I know it isn’t fair Emma. in your arms. She gets to wake up next to you every morning. and I can’t help but wonder how much longer I can wait for you. It breaks my heart a little more everyday that I don’t get to share my life with you. “OK. “Sometimes I really hate what we are. and what it is doing to us. “I wouldn’t blame you if you choose to leave me.” She was so shocked by his words.about what she was feeling.” she paused “you’re not helping.” There was silence for a minute then he said. not after yesterday. It was as if he was giving up on them.” “Ok beautiful.” she said with a perplexed look on her face. and that’s not fair. “I wish I could answer that.” He took her into the living room and they sat down on the love seat. “How much longer do I have to wait for you?” He looked surprised by the question. “Yes Emma. “Do you really want to be with me?” she asked bluntly.” 14 . Did he think she was going to wait forever? “You know. She went to his house like planned and he answered the door like nothing had happened. “Don’t I give you what you need Caleb?” “Of course you do. and didn’t wait anymore. “Hi. She gets all the holidays that I want to share with you. I feel like I am loosing you to her.” He answered.” she said pausing to looking him in the eye.” “I’m sorry about that baby. I want to be the one you come home to Caleb. She rushed on before she lost her nerve. and hugged Emma. She wasn’t sure how she should take them.” he said with a anxious look in his eye. “Ok.” She felt like she had just been stabbed in the gut.” She saw red! How could he tell her what’s not fair? She couldn’t believe his audacity! “What’s not fair is that I have given you the best of me for so long. With all my heart. the one you share your life with. You know what I am going through with Heather. I have another question. I want to share everything I am with you. Like he was choosing Heather over her. but she still gets the best part of you.” He looked so sincere. but I don’t really have an answer right now. She gets to be the priority in your life and that’s all I have ever wanted. “Then why can’t you give me what I need?” she blurted out. “Hi baby. “This is one of those days where I feel like this is never going to work. but it is getting harder and harder.

” He whispered sadly. “I’m not waiting a moment longer. She felt the loss of the man she loved and it was the most painful loss she had ever felt. don’t do what you think will make everyone else happy. and I should have done this a long time ago. but her heart hurt so much. you’d be here with me right now. She didn’t know how to pick up the pieces but she was sure of one thing. “I wont be here waiting for you when you do tell her.” he started. “That’s not enough Caleb. “You have my heart. ARE YOU CRAZY? This is what you have been waiting for! The other part felt pride. anymore. But she wasn’t. She knew that no matter how much she loved Caleb she couldn’t get what she truly needed from him. Did he even know how badly he had hurt her over the years. and I don’t think you can give me what I want.” she uttered. You say I have your heart but I don’t because if I did. “No Caleb. that my marriage is over. “Good-bye Caleb. she knew in her heart that she had done the right thing. but at the same time she felt as if she could hold her head high. I know that I want to spend my life with you Emma. I’m so sorry. “It’s not fair to me. I don’t need to prove to anyone. a man that wants to share every part of his life with me and only me. You are the only thing that matters to me. She was better off with out him. I will tell Heather today that I want a divorce. She didn’t fight the tears when they came. She knew that she would get through this. “I can’t do this any more.” She didn’t give him the chance to say anything.” the words were out of her mouth before she had time to think any further. He looked so shocked. I deserve better than this. She should be ecstatic. and out of Caleb’s life. He was going to tell her today! She should be happy.” Emma was silent for a moment.” She rushed on not giving him time to answer. She was thinking about what Caleb had just said.” With that she stood up and waked out of the room. and then we can start our life together.” Caleb pleaded. How could he expect her to keep on living like this? “I’m sorry Emma.” When he didn’t say anything she went on.“Emma.” Emma felt like her heart was on the floor. Eventhough she felt a wave of sorrow rush through her. “you have one thing she doesn’t have. out the front door. It was probably 15 . If you are going to leave her then do it for you. So don’t leave her if you are doing it for me. I can’t keep sharing you. “I want all of you. Part of her screamed. She got into her car and drove off.” “Emma. I can’t put myself through this any more. Do what makes you happy.” Caleb looked like he didn’t know what to say. I should never have expected you to wait this long. by asking so much of her and expecting her to be content with the life they had right now. I deserve to have a man who can love me like I love him. “And what’s that?” She retorted.

but she would succeed.going to be the hardest thing she would ever face. 16 . She felt truly hopeful for the first time in a long time. She said a little prayer in her heart that she would one day find a man worthy of her love. and that she would be able to share everything in her life with him.

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