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CASINO - DAY ALAN KAPLAN, early 30’s, in a suit that makes him look more professional than he actually is, is gathering himself in the parking lot before the big day. His mother calls. ALAN: Mom, what is it now? ALAN: (CONT’D) You can’t keep blaming the cleaning service for everything that goes missing! ALAN: (CONT’D) So use a different service then! ALAN: (CONT’D) Who cares if they do a good job! ALAN: (CONT’D) Hire a new a service then or clean the house yourself! He pulls the phone away from his ear miming his mother’s complaining. ALAN: (CONT’D) I gotta go, I have a job to do. ALAN: (CONT’D) Why do I still work at this place? He kicks the hubcap of the car next to him, it falls off. He looks around and moves along. ALAN: (CONT’D) Because somewhere I learned, not from you, that commitment and hard work will be rewarded. And I’m gonna prove to you that I made the right decision to stay here. ALAN: (CONT’D) I gotta go mom, I’ll call you later. CUT TO: INT. CASINO - DAY
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot"
The Four Spades Hotel & Casino is not the Belagio, but it is also not Fawlty Towers. It’s a diamond slowly being unearthed from the rough. The clock hits 9 a.m. Alan stands in front of a conference room filled with employees. ALAN: Good morning everyone! I have two big announcements for today. First tonight is the Lady Gaga concert! Cut to DAWN ROBERTS, 60’s, she’s been living the casino lifestyle her whole life, filling almost every job, but never cashing out. If you catch her at the right time she can be quite endearing, but mostly she’s rather salty. DAWN: Who the hell is Lady Gaga? Chyron reads “Dawn Roberts, Blackjack Dealer” Cut to FAITH FREEMAN, 30’s, quite pretty and the resident gossip. FAITH: She’s the biggest performer on Earth. DAWN: I’ve never heard of her, she can’t be that big. FAITH: No, I think she’s only like 5’1. Dawn blankly stares at it. Chyron reads, “Faith Freeman, Spa Attendant” Cut to Alan. ALAN: That covers the concert. The other news is the casino is now under new ownership. An employee raises his hand. Yes, Manuel. ALAN: (CONT’D)
MANUEL: Are we all getting fired?
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" ALAN: No. These guys want to see how the first month goes and after that they’ll see where changes need to be made. MANUEL: And then we will be fired? ALAN: Look if you guys do your jobs and just work hard, you’ll be fine. They’re two great guys from England. You’ll meet them soon.
Cut to TRISTRAM TENDULKAR, 50’s, he complains to whoever will listen, but has worked at the casino longer than anyone else. TRISTRAM: What do the British know about running a casino? They can’t even take care of their teeth. Chyron reads “Tristram Tendulkar, Pit Boss.” Cut to OSWALT JANOSKY, 30’s, a decade of loud music has muted many of his brain cells. OSWALT: My grandma always told me to treat everyone equally. TRISTRAM: My grandma was owned by Englishmen back in India. OSWALT: Better her then you right? TRISTRAM: It would have been better if it were you. OSWALT: I don’t think they would want me. Freeze on Oswalt. Chyron reads “Oswalt Oslowski, Entertainer” Cut to Alan.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" ALAN: Just keep doing what you’re doing, and hopefully we’ll all see each other at the next meeting. OSWALT: Easy for him to say, all he has to do is serve drinks. TRISTRAM: What are you talking about? Alan. OSWALT:
TRISTRAM: Alan’s our boss. Raymond’s the bartender. Cut to RAYMOND JONES, a big black man. OSWALT: Oh yeah, right. CUT TO: INT. BREAK ROOM There are a bunch of employees eating, drinking, conversing. Alan walks in. ALAN: How are there so many people in here? You guys realize the trial period starts today? Some of the employees scurry out. ALAN: (CONT’D) At least some of you respect my authority. Oswalt is making coffee. OSWALT: Sorry about that Alan. I’ve just been suffering from some jet-lag. ALAN: You were in Ohio, which is the same time zone as here. Sipping his coffee. He burns his tongue and spits it out.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" OSWALT: I know it’s been brutal. ALAN: Why don’t you go work on some new songs and really wow the new suits, and maybe we can pass along some material to Lady Gaga’s managers tonight. OSWALT: I’ve been looking for this type of inspiration for years. Do you want to be my manager? ALAN: Technically, I am your manager. OSWALT: Alright! I won’t let you down. Oswalt leaves. ALAN: The rest of you I expect to be working.
Cut to JASON DAVIS, early 20’s, bright and eager, he aims to impress, but has adapted to the off-beat style of the employees. JASON: Is there anything I can do? Chyron reads “JASON DAVIS, INTERN.” ALAN: I need you to go buy a mustache. You’re going to walk around here pretending to be one of the new bosses. Keep these guys on their toes. JASON: You think I can fool them? He thinks about it momentarily. Yes. ALAN: FADE OUT. FADE IN:
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" INT. HOTEL - LOBBY Alan is making sure everyone is doing their jobs. ALAN: Make sure to water those flowers. They look dry. FLOWER GUY: They’re not real sir. ALAN: Well make them look as real as possible. Okay boss. FLOWER GUY:
He begins to water them. Alan heads to the concierge desk. ALAN: Jamie! Didn’t expect to see you here. Jamie is in her late 20’s, pretty, which enables her to work at a sub-par level. JAMIE: I’m here everyday in the same place. Chyron reads “Jamie Inglesoft, Concierge” ALAN: You sure? I could swear I missed you last Tuesday. JAMIE: Nope, I was here. And yesterday, and the week before that, and the next one after this too. ALAN: So what do you think of the new owners? JAMIE: Well one of them was drunk at eight this morning, and I haven’t really met the other one. ALAN: Still celebrating the purchase I suppose. They’re all great guys. (MORE)
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" ALAN: (CONT'D) JAMIE: I’m sure they are. ALAN: (CONT’D) (cautiously joking) Of course. Don’t fall for the whole British thing though. She looks up from her work and thinks about what he said. CUT TO: INT. CHAPEL
Months in the future. Jamie is marrying one of the Brits. Alan is standing in the background depressed. Series of shots depicting her high roller, jet-setting lifestyle. Cut back to present. ALAN: Jamie. Jamie. JAMIE: (smiling) Sorry. I was just... ALAN: (interrupting) So, do you have any lunch plans? Yeah. JAMIE:
ALAN: (surprised) Really? With who? A guest interrupts. GUEST: Excuse me, I’m looking to check in. JAMIE: Welcome to The Four Spades. What’s the reservation under please? GUEST: Miller. Brian Miller. JAMIE: Let me look that up.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" Jamie steps to the side. ALAN: I’ll catch you later. I have a lunch date to make. JAMIE: At 10:30? Why did you ask me if I had lunch plans then? ALAN: Oh, uh, just making sure you’re eating. I need you guys in your best condition. Alan leaves. ALAN: (CONT’D) (O.S.) Lunch? Couldn’t even say breakfast. JUMP TO: INT. OFFICE
Alan meets with the new owners, STUART KENSINGTON and TIM RICHARDS. They are used to living the high life. Alcohol runs as deep as blood in their veins. STUART: You run a tight a ship here Alan. We’re very impressed. ALAN: Well I’ve been here a long time. This place is my home. TIM: What we don’t want is stale though. We want to re-energize this place. ALAN: Of course not. STUART: And just like everyone else here, you have to prove yourself to us. Alan is taken aback, seemingly confident in his job security. ALAN: Naturally. I’ve got some great ideas.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" STUART: Let’s not jump the gun. Your time will come. Tim opens a bottle of wine and pours 3 glasses. TIM: 2002 Quintessa, try some. I’m okay. ALAN:
TIM: Suit yourself. He pours the third glass into his, wafts and sips. TIM: (CONT’D) We’ve been looking for a partner beyond us two for a while now and if you can demonstrate you’re a capable businessman, we would like you to be that man. Tim lights a cigar. ALAN: Well I’m flattered. TIM: Don’t wet your whistle just yet. ALAN: My whistles dry. STUART: We have designed a plan to resurrect this place and you’re going to help us implement it. Okay. ALAN:
STUART: The next item we need to cover is employee relations. ALAN: What about it? STUART: Everyone loves you Alan. We want that relationship with the employees. We feel, we feel...
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" TIM: We feel that the employees are a little wary of us. ALAN: Have you met any of them yet? TIM: Well, no. We’re a little apprehensive. ALAN: Well you are the ones who do the firing. STUART: Exactly. We don’t want to be known as that, we want to be viewed as an ally, someone they can confide in if they come home and find another man in bed with their wife. ALAN: Why would you want that? STUART: It’s just an example. ALAN: So the people who own the place are scared of the people who work here. Tim finishes his wine in a big gulp. ALAN: (CONT’D) I mean I’ll help you, I don’t know exactly what to do though. STUART: Pretend that Tim is an employee here, what would you say? ALAN: Hey Tim, how are you doing? How are the kids? Did you have a good weekend? Tim finishes Stuart’s glass. TIM: My kids died in a horrible Ferris Wheel accident. ALAN: Oh. I’m really sorry.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" TIM: I’m just kidding. Why would I have kids? STUART: The point is we want to imitate that exchange with every employee. It’s much easier to work with what you have then replace everyone. ALAN: Just be yourselves and I’ll help when I’m around. We’ve got something of a symbiotic relationship developing here. TIM: Just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean I’m interested in that. What? ALAN:
STUART: Never mind. He’s a little confused. Alan leaves. TIM: I didn’t know he was gay. FADE OUT.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" ACT TWO
FADE IN: INT. CASINO Dawn is dealing to a table of one. DAWN: You’re in or you’re out. And if you’re both, you’ve come to the wrong place. She deals the cards. DAWN: (CONT’D) What’s it gonna be? Survey says hit. Hit. She flips a card. DAWN: That’s all she wrote. He walks away mumbling some swears. DAWN: (CONT’D) This is a casino, not a pirate ship. Enter Tristram. TRISTRAM: Don’t you ever dream about working the strip? The glamorous people, all the lights instead of this classless slum? DAWN: Your type wouldn’t get hired on the strip. TRISTRAM: What do you mean my type? Assholes. DAWN: PLAYER:
TRISTRAM: I’m a product of my environment. DAWN: You’re a product of being an asshole.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" TRISTRAM: I have a work persona and a real-life persona. DAWN: (sarcastically) Ha. Same as how I care about my job. TRISTRAM: Well hopefully the new owners provide us with some inspiration. DAWN: I’ve been working in this industry for almost my whole life, inspiration dies at the door. TRISTRAM: What’s with the morbidness. We work in a bloody casino, not a morgue, although you’re not too far off from there. DAWN: They’ll be lucky to have me. TRISTRAM: (sarcasm) Just like we are.
CUT TO: INT. CASINO - DAY Alan introduces Stuart and Tim to Tristram and other nearby employees. ALAN: Stuart, Tim, this is Tristram. He’s the best pit boss in the business. CRAIG: (to himself) Not for long. Chyron reads “Craig Taft, Pit Boss & Tristram’s Rival” ALAN: Guys, I want to introduce you to Stuart and Tim. They’re the new bosses.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" TIM: (nervous) Don’t call me boss though! How are your families doing? Looking to Alan for encouragement and approval. STUART: That goes for me too. We want you guys to feel comfortable around us and your families. They’re somewhat confused. TRISTRAM: I can’t imagine you’ll be any worse than Robert. Robert? STUART:
ALAN: The old owner. He was a strange man. I think he bought the casino thinking it was a playground. Flashbacks: -Robert snorkels in the jacuzzi. -Robert plays blackjack in a speedo. ALAN: (CONT’D) Needless to say, we’re happy to have you guys. STUART: Well that’s good to hear! Jason frantically enters. JASON: (in accent) Alan, there’s a guest at the front desk freaking out about something. ALAN: What’s wrong? Can’t the concierge handle it? JASON: I don’t know, but he looks upset.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" ALAN: Okay, I’ll come check it out. STUART: I’ll come with you. So where in England are you from mate? JASON: Me? Uh, Man-chest-ter-pool-ham STUART: Never heard of it. Near the Cotswolds? JASON: Yeah right near there. They head to the front desk.
CUT TO: INT. CASINO - CONCIERGE ALAN: Oh, that’s just Mr. Pitt, he lives here. Lives here? STUART:
ALAN: Yeah, his wife left him and he won’t leave here. I see. STUART:
ALAN: Hey Jamie, what’s going on here? JAMIE: You need to kick this lunatic out of the hotel. MR. PITT: Kick me out? I’m your best tenant. What kind of business is this? Chyron reads “Mr. Pitt, Lifetime guest” STUART: What seems to be the problem sir?
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" MR. PITT: Who’s this guy? Can’t run your casino Alan? Had to hire some foreign help? STUART: My names Stuart, I’m one of the new owners. What can I do to help you? JAMIE: He seems to think some of the slots are anti-Semitic. What? STUART:
MR. PITT: You have an entire row of machines called Pharaoh's Revenge. Revenge against what? The Jews of course. STUART: I assure you that Pharaoh's Revenge isn’t anything more than a slot machine. Let’s go to the bar and we’ll have a drink, I want to get to know our most valued guest. TIM: A drink, such a great idea. MR. PITT: I take these things seriously you know! STUART: So does everyone here. He escorts him out. JAMIE: I didn’t even know he was Jewish. ALAN: He was born Catholic, but after his wife left him he converted. He held his Bar Mitzvah here. CUT TO: Months in the past. Mr. Pitt getting hoisted in a chair. Cut back to the present.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" JAMIE: Did you see the way Stuart handled that situation? So poised and composed. So British. ALAN: What exactly did he do? JAMIE: He handled the situation! ALAN: He offered him a drink. JAMIE: I didn’t see you doing anything. ALAN: You wanna get a drink? I’m working? Yeah, true. JAMIE: ALAN:
JAMIE: (interrupting) You think he’s single? ALAN: No. In fact I think he might be gay. Really? JAMIE:
ALAN: You never know. JAMIE: Guess I’ll have to find out. ALAN: Alright, I’m gonna go make sure the ships still sailing smoothly. He leaves. CUT TO: INT. CASINO - SPA Faith is attending to a guest.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" FAITH: Alan obviously likes her, but she doesn’t give him the time of day. Typical West Coast attitude. GUEST: What do you mean? FAITH: She used to be married to some millionaire, but he lost his money. Now they’re divorced, and she’s forced to work. GUEST: That’s so sad. FAITH: I don’t know how she still works here. Anyways, are you going to the concert tonight? She’s such a character. GUEST: She’s definitely weird, but I’m sure she will be amazing. FAITH: It’s the first big concert we’ve had here in ages! GUEST: I’d kill to look like that at her age. FAITH: Isn’t she much younger than you? GUEST: Only on the outside. Faith gathers some tools. FAITH: Here comes one of the new owners I was telling you about. You can just see how classy they are.
Jason enters in disguise and converses with some employees. He heads towards Faith. JASON: (in accent) How’s everything going over here?
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" FAITH: (flattered) Good, good. I thought you guys would be all hands-offsey. JASON: There will be a lot of hands on, I promise. She laughs sensing some flirting. FAITH: Quite the charmer aren’t we? JASON: We can’t change who we are. FAITH: I wouldn’t want that. JASON: Well I’m just making rounds. I’ll see you around... Faith. FAITH:
JASON: See you around Faith. He leaves. FAITH: Well that was unexpected. Cut to Jason walking. OSWALT: Hey Jason! How did you grow that mustache so quickly? He feels the mustache. Incredible! OSWALT: (CONT’D)
JASON: (in accent) Thanks. Get back to work. OSWALT: Sure thing boss. CUT TO:
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" INT. BREAK ROOM Tristram and Craig are sitting at a table. CRAIG: You think you have a better shot than I do? TRISTRAM: Why would Lady Gaga want to sign an autograph for someone who probably resembles the composite of everyone of her stalkers. CRAIG: She must have some good looking stalkers. TRISTRAM: Do you own any mirrors in your house? CRAIG: Forget that. What’s at stake here? TRISTRAM: Whoever gets her autograph on the most bizarre item wins. Wins what? CRAIG:
TRISTRAM: I’ll bet my pit. Craig is taken aback. CRAIG: I’ll put my cat up. TRISTRAM: I don’t want your stupid cat. CRAIG: Fine, how about my watch. It’s a family heirloom. TRISTRAM: It will be an honor to put an end to that. Alan enters.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" ALAN: Do you guys even work? We should call out there the break room. CRAIG: Yet, you’re always in here too. ALAN: What do you guys even have against each other? CRAIG: Have you ever had a rival? It’s invigorating. There’s always someone you want to better then. TRISTRAM: All the great people in history have had a rival. Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr, Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier, Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong. ALAN: I don’t think those two were rivals. CRAIG: I don’t you know what you’re talking about. ALAN: Well, you want to be the best? First pit to bring in $10,000 wins a prize. It’s on. CRAIG:
Craig and Tristram shuffle out. DAWN: What’s the prize? ALAN: A gift card to the bar. FADE OUT. FADE IN: INT. CASINO - PENTHOUSE Alan is supervising the room set-up for the arrival of Lady Gaga. Employees are running about the room.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" TODD GURKIN, 30’s, he just missed the cut to be one of the hosts on Queer Eye. ALAN: Everything needs to be perfect. TODD: Perfect is my first, middle, and last name. ALAN: That’s a lot of perfect. TODD: Well someone’s got to be because I certainly don’t see any of it here. Freeze on Todd. Chyron: “Todd Gurkin, Interior Designer” ALAN: That’s why you’re here. TODD: Exactly why I’m getting paid as much as I do. ALAN: Stuart mentioned how highly recommended you come. How much are they paying you exactly? Todd is directing people. TODD: Yes, Yes over there. Not enough clearly because if I wasn’t here she would think she were staying at the Red Roof Inn. ALAN: Well we wouldn’t want that. TODD: (sizing him up) No. No, I don’t think we would. Alan, could you be a darling and go fetch me my design book over there? Yeah sure. Fetches book. ALAN:
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" TODD: Do you want any pomegranate or coconut water? It’s very good for the skin. ALAN: No, I’m okay thank you. TODD: Suit yourself. Alan surveys the room. ALAN: Do you really need all this stuff? She’s only here for one night. TODD: You want her to go home and tell her celebrity friends that she stayed in a room sparse of exotic flowers and halfnaked exotic men? ALAN: I’m not sure how to answer that. TODD: (escorting him out) The answer is no. If you want anymore celebrities coming through here I’m gonna have to work on you next! Door closes. Alan checks his watch. ALAN: Is that the time? He rushes off.
CUT TO: EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT A black SUV pulls up. VALET: Hello, welcome to the Four Spades. ASSISTANT: Yes, hi, I’m supposed to be meeting Alan Kaplan.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" VALET: Mister Alan busy man. ASSISTANT: He told me he would meet me here. Looking at her watch. Alan runs in. ALAN: (panting) Hey, you must be Rachel. We’ve got everything you requested. We had a hard time tracking down some snow, but we got it all sorted out. ASSISTANT: Perfect. She’s so excited for the show tonight. ALAN: Good, good because everyone here is also. ASSISTANT: Remember when she arrives, she doesn’t want anyone to look at her until she gets inside. ALAN: Alright, I’ll alert the crew. ASSISTANT: I’m going to check us in. ALAN: Everything’s been taken care of already, you can follow him up to the penthouse. She leaves.
CUT TO: INT. CASINO - BREAK ROOM Alan bursts into the break room. ALAN: I knew I could find most of you here. No one looks up.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" ALAN: (CONT’D) Important news guys. I really need you to pay attention and spread the word because it could set the tone for the night. DAWN: Are you dying? No. ALAN:
They go back to what they’re doing. ALAN: (CONT’D) It’s really important that when Lady Gaga arrives, you guys don’t look her in the eye UNTIL she has entered the building. DAWN: What is the deal with this woman? Who does she think she is Medusa? ALAN: I’m not sure what will happen to you, but I’m not ruling out anything. Spread the word please. CUT TO: INT. OFFICE Stuart and Tim are celebrating. STUART: We’ve been waiting a long time for this. Let this be the start of something successful. Cheers. Pops champagne. TIM: After tonight, I want this place to be on the map. I want to be trending, I want to be on Perez Hilton. STUART: What the hell are you talking about? TIM: Us. This place. Success.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" STUART:
Okay. Alan walks in.
TIM: Alan! Have some champagne! They force a glass into his hand. ALAN: I’m okay for now. Maybe later. TIM: You need to unwind, you look tense. ALAN: This is the most important day of this casino’s life. Lady Gaga is here, and until she leaves I can’t relax. STUART: Did anyone look at her? ALAN: Not that I know of. STUART: Excellent. So what’s the plan? ALAN: I’m going to make sure everything’s going accordingly. I just wanted to make sure you guys were doing okay. TIM: We’re more then okay. We are going to supper, shall we save you a seat? ALAN: No thanks. I’ll see you guys at the show. He leaves. TIM: Polite chap that one. They cheers to Alan. STUART: Todd was raving about him.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" TIM: So, he is gay?
CUT TO: INT. CASINO The assistant is on the phone frantically. ASSISTANT: She can’t go on stage without her costumes. Alan walks in. She motions to Alan to wait. ASSISTANT: (CONT’D) And I wouldn’t care if he was playing squash with the Olsen twins. Get him to call me! ALAN: Is there a problem? ASSISTANT: Yes! There’s a big problem! One of your staff has misplaced the outfits for the show. ALAN: I’m sure it was just a mistake. They can’t just disappear. ASSISTANT: You don’t send an astronaut into space without a spacesuit. ALAN: You’ll have them back soon I promise. CUT TO: INT. CASINO Alan running through the hotel and casino. He calls someone. ALAN: The outfits are missing! Drops his phone. Picks it back up. ALAN: (CONT’D) I don’t know. We need to find them immediately. Send some people to look.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" He hangs up. ALAN: (CONT’D) If I were a collection of bizarre outfits where would I be? He has a hunch.
CUT TO: INT. CASINO - DRESSING ROOM Alan bursts into Oswalt’s dressing room. He has one of the outfits on. Oswalt! Too much? ALAN: OSWALT:
ALAN: I need you to take that off. OSWALT: I thought our relationship was strictly business? ALAN: No. No! Those aren’t yours. They’re Lady Gaga’s. OSWALT: I thought these were too small for me. I was worried I was losing my figure for a second. He starts undressing. ALAN: Wait for me to leave please. CUT TO: INT. CASINO - SUITE Alan rushes in with the clothes. ALAN: I got them! I got them! ASSISTANT: Perfect. At least someone can do something right. Now leave us be.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot"
He leaves. Once the door closes he leans against the wall. ALAN: I need a drink. CUT TO: INT. CASINO - BAR Raymond serves Alan. ALAN: Diet Coke please. RAYMOND: Sure thing boss. ALAN: I think you and I are more alike than we think. RAYMOND: Who ever said anything about us being alike? I just did. ALAN:
RAYMOND: I don’t think we’re remotely similar. He notices Jamie leaving. ALAN: Hold that thought. He catches up with her. Jamie! Yes? ALAN: (CONT’D) JAMIE:
ALAN: Not staying for the show? JAMIE: I spend enough time here already, I think I’m good for the day. ALAN: You want to grab a drink?
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" JAMIE:
ALAN: Yeah. Raymond and I were just discussing what size boat I should buy. JAMIE: Don’t you have work to do? ALAN: Well, maybe another time or dinner even? JAMIE: Maybe. We can talk tomorrow about it. She leaves. ALAN: You hear that? We’re getting dinner. I’ll take it. RAYMOND: Yeah, were nothing alike. FADE OUT. FADE IN: INT. CASINO - THEATER Oswalt is performing. Alan stands backstage with the two Brits. ALAN: He’s pretty good. We found him performing in some local clubs and offered him the gig. STUART: He has potential. ALAN: What he lacks in brains, he compensates in talent. Oswalt finishes his set to crowd applause. Good job. ALAN: (CONT’D)
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" OSWALT:
Stuart walks on stage and begins introducing the headliner. STUART: Ladies and Gentleman, it is my pleasure to introduce to you... As he delivers his speech gradual fade-out. FADE OUT.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" ACT THREE
FADE IN: INT. CASINO - OFFICE Stuart and Tim are celebrating. Alan walks in. Alan! STUART: ALAN: How’s it going boys. I brought you a real American treat. He places a box of Dunkin’ Doughnuts on the table. TIM: You seen the papers today? He begins reading some lines. TIM: (CONT’D) “The show was flawless from the outfits to the venue, one of the most memorable shows of the tour.” Stuart spreads the array of newspaper reviews out. TIM: (CONT’D) That’s one of many! Now drink or you’re fired. ALAN: Is this going to be a regular thing? TIM: Breakfast? How do you start your days? They toast. ALAN: Well men, if you can excuse me for a moment. I have some business to wrapup. He finishes his glass and leaves. STUART: Always working. CUT TO: TIM:
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" INT. CASINO - BREAK ROOM Tristram and Craig are sitting arguing. CRAIG: You think that counts? TRISTRAM: It’s more than you got. He holds up a picture. TRISTRAM: (CONT’D) She doesn’t even know you were there! The picture displays Craig being carried away by two giant bodyguards with Lady Gaga in the corner. CRAIG: That’s not true. I heard her say, “didn’t you try this same thing in Denver?” TRISTRAM: Well, I was right. This watch is going to look beautiful against my lucious brown arms. CRAIG: That’s not a family heirloom. I bought it in Times Square for $10 in 2004. TRISTRAM: Well, you’re still watchless. So it’s a win. Alan walks in. ALAN: What a surprise. TRISTRAM: Do you really need to make a comment every time you walk in here? We know we’re here a lot. We get it. ALAN: Well, anyways I’ve come to deliver the prize. Which one of you made the quota fastest? CRAIG: Neither of us. We got bored and lost track.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" ALAN: Well that’s too bad because the prize was worth it. I guess. TRISTRAM:
ALAN: I thought you guys were competitors? TRISTRAM: We are when it’s worthwhile. What am I supposed to do with a gift card to the bar? I don’t even drink. CRAIG: And Raymond already gives me drinks for free. ALAN: Do you think Buzz Aldrin stepped down from Neil Armstrong when they were competing. How do you think Neil made it on the moon first? You guys call yourself rivals. They look at each other pondering what he said. He leaves. CUT TO: INT. CASINO Alan is walking through the casino when he finds Jamie. ALAN: Hey Jamie, how was your night? JAMIE: I fell asleep drunk at 9:30 watching Iron Chef. ALAN: Sounds like a good night. Yeah. JAMIE:
Alan is beckoned by an employee. ALAN: One sec.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" JAMIE: So it turns out Stuart isn’t gay. ALAN: You positive? JAMIE: Yeah, he’s been married 3 times and separated 4 times. ALAN: How does that work? JAMIE: I don’t know, but I’m not getting involved with someone with that track record. Alan perks up. ALAN: Do you want to grab a drink or dinner later? As friends of course. JAMIE: Okay. Find me later to make sure I still feel like going. Okay! She leaves. MANUEL: Mr. Alan, there’s something going on in the casino. What? ALAN: ALAN:
MANUEL: I don’t there’s just something going on. ALAN: There’s always something going on. I need you to be more specific. There is commotion in the background. Someone comes sprinting down the corridor towards the exit. Robert is running in a spandex outfit with a bag of money in one hand and a hotel decoration in the other.
"HIGH ROLLERS' - Pilot" ALAN: (CONT’D) Is that Robert? MANUEL: I can’t see that far. ALAN: I’m pretty sure that’s him. I thought he wasn’t allowed here anymore. MANUEL: You want me to find security? ALAN: We’re losing money to the man who built this place. There’s something wrong with that. MANUEL: Kinda ironic too. ALAN: I’m going to take care of this. He finishes his drink and walks off.
FADE TO BLACK.
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