BANGER BANTER NEWSLETTER : APRIL - JUNE 2011

Sponsor Spotlight INTERVIEW WITH ANDREW LAMONT The Wall Of Knowledge
INDIAN EXPATS TAKE OVER WALL STREET

www.oldbangkokbangers.com

The Healthy Banger
HOW TO CURE A HANGOVER

Footloose
RITCHIE OWENS

EXCLUSIV

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Stews Views

The Ancient Quill

Banger Humour

Ask Nantida

Tom Kerr

You Will Always be A Banger

April - June 2011

10 Message from The Chairman

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5 6 7 8 15 19 20 22 24 26 27 28 30 31 33

Andrew McDowell elected again as Chairman.

Tates
Our Club Captain. The season sofar

Mi Chiama Roberto
The Colts Captain has his say

The Ancient Quill
Kevin Hutton - Smith on the Bangkok International Tens 2011

Moving On
Shaun Stewart heads home to South Africa

Now Phuket
Tom Kerr is back in Thailand - Phuket

Footloose
Ritchie Owens travel stories. New column

Geoff The Chef
Thought you knew your coffee? Read this.

Stew’s Views
A Banger back in the UK.

Wall Street Gossip
What’s happening at Rick’s Pub.

Five Minutes
Quick questions to Grant Signal.

Strewth
Bazza on rugby. Oz style.

Bangerpedia
All about Shirts and Boots.

The Healthy Banger
How to cure your hangover

Hartley’s Banger Humour

Chris finds jokes to brighten up your day

Banger Banter. April - June 2011

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The Banter is late coming out this quarter. Over a month late in fact. The view was we wait until after the Annual General Meeting (AGM) so we could include details of the new committee. The first attempt at the AGM didn’t get off the ground. However, the second effort was better attended with a mix of new senior and younger members putting their names forward to be on the Committee. This an encouraging step and bodes well for the future of our club. Des Gist, Bob Pearson, Chris Hartley, Paddy Mckenna, Brett Richards and Graham Fox were elected, joining Roberto Goulo, Andrew Tatam, Andrew McDowell, Cris Dunning and Grant Signal from last years Committee. One point that Andrew Tatam, our re-elected Club Captain made during the AGM is worth noting. The Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club is a social club and we should not lose sight of that. He is right on the money here. Every year we have to build new teams, with player attrition a constant reminder we are only guests in Thailand. This season will again be challenging and fun, as we renew old rivalries, and also start some new ones, all in the spirit of rugby. The more we collectively put into it, the more we will, collectively and individually, get out of it. Every year our club gets a little stronger as we aggressively recruit for all teams. The club is preparing to train under the direction of our new coach Des Gist. I am sure Des will make sure we are well prepared to start the season off on the right foot, play as hard as we can and of course mostly have fun. It promises to be an exciting year Last season was highly successful with great progress being made at all levels. This obviously takes a lot of organization and time from the committee, players and supporters. The ongoing commitment and dedication from all Bangers is what has kept the club going over the years. As mentioned earlier, it promises to be a exciting year and the Banter wishes all our three teams every success.

Editor
EDITORIAL : Roberto Guolo, Andrew Tatam, Rick O’Shea, Geoff McKenna, Kevin Hulton-Smith, Tom Kerr, Mike Laloli
CONTRIBUTORS Sopo Fakaua, Kilea Fakaua , Chris

Hartley, Ritchie Owens

PROOF READER : Roger Fitzgerald WEBMASTER : Mike Laloli

PHOTOGRAPHY : Johnn Jaspers, Robert Brewer

The BANGER BANTER is published quarterly by the Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club for members, sponsors and friends of the rugby club. The Banger Banter is downloadable from the club web site. Members contribute all editorial and photography. The layout and design is provided by Ruck Graphics - a member of the Old Bangkok Banger Rugby Club

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Banger Banter. April - June 2011

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ust a few words since we have had our AGM which was reconvened due to poor attendance at the first calling. The new Committee has had its first meeting, and I would like to let you know who is on the committee, and who is appointed to what task. I was narrowly re-elected as your Chairman and below is the list of 2011/12 Committee members and contact details:
First Name Last Name McDowell Raming Tatam Pearson Richards Hartley Dunning Gist Fox Signal McKenna Goulo Hutton Smith Laloli Mobile 0837691100 0869763243 0852434155 0853181901 0847136446 0859801670 0896670497 0818391738 0818086014 0818122297 08061 55443 0879392778 0818119372 0891672742 Email Address andypenn5@gmail.com andrew.raming@gmail.com tatamandrew@hotmail.com blp11@hotmail.com polarbrett@yahoo.co.uk christopher.hartley@alcatel-lucent.com dunningc@ap.aurecongroup.com des_gist@colpal.com foxymoronbkk@gmail.com grant.signal@iag.co.th paddymoo@gmail.com robertoguolo@yahoo.it khultonsmith@gmail.com mlaloli@gmail.com Chairman Social/Event Management Club Captain/Vets Captain Kit Management/Recruitment Social/Event Management Secretary/Membership Sponsorship Coach Ancients Rep/Club Tours Treasurer Website/PR/Recruitment Colts Captain Ancients Captain Web Development/Publications Position

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Andrew Andrew Andrew Bob Brett Chris Cris Des Grahame Grant Paddy Roberto Kevin Mike

Considering the size of our membership, the AGM was still poorly attended. Please make an effort to come along to as many Banger events as you can. Players, ex players, veterans, ancients, social members and supporters, your Club needs you. Give us your support. Now you have the contact details of your committee. We welcome all ideas on how the club should be run. The direction of the club depends on you, make sure your voice is heard by the Committee if you have a comment. Please don’t forget to support our sponsors, their products and services whenever you have a chance. They are extremely important to us. We could not arrange all the events we organise without their generous support. Make the effort – let’s make sure all we meet know we are about “Fun, Fraternity, and Friendship”. Yours in Banger Rugby

Andrew

www.oldbangkokbangers.com

Banger Banter. April - June 2011

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011 has certainly started with a bang with many of our annual traditions continuing to keep all sections of the club entertained and enjoying the Club spirit which comes with being a Banger. We have remained coach-less for the past few months since Pete stepped down but I hope that by the AGM on the 28th of this month we will have some good news on this front. A huge thank you to all those who have stepped in and taken sessions to keep the Banger ball rolling while we have been between coaches. Once again we had three teams representing us at our very own Bangkok 10s with the Colts enjoying a Super Sunday, the Old Boys enjoying two great days before being battered in the final by the Bali Legends which had six ex-International Rugby leaguers in their squad and a show stopping entrance and exhibition from our now infamous Ancients. Well done to all of those who helped Eddie to host another great tournament. A special mention to Nak Suu who we were very pleased with the club donation of 40,000 Baht. Also over the weekend the Nak Suu Rugby Academy children had their very first taste of competitive rugby. A merry band of Bangers from all over South East Asia notched up another first for the Club, by entering the Manila Tens in the Philippines with an Old Boy Team. The team certainly returned home with plenty of tales to tell but no silverware this time. We should certainly look at returning next year with an Old Boys and perhaps a Colts team if we can get the numbers. This years Captains Dinner certainly did not disappoint, with fifty Bangers enjoying the hospitality of the
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Sheraton Grande for a memorable evening with plenty of laughs included.

A huge thanks to Mike for his help in preparing for the evening and to Roberto for helping with the presentation on the night. Also thank you to the ladies of Soi Cowboy who managed to return all of Jeff’s belongings the following day! The day after the Captains Dinner was our amazing free trip to the Heineken Brewery provided by Andrew Lamont as part of his generous sponsorship. The timing worked against us a little, as only nine made it onto the bus. All those present had a blast and enjoyed the training, the brewery tour and product sampling during a long and memorable day. The final event, was our second game against the Thailand National Team as part of their preparation for an international match versus India. Even with very short notice, we were able to raise a twenty plus squad with some guest players from our friends, the Bangkok Japanese, who answered our call to arms. The game was close for the first three quarters, with four tries to two before our match fitness caught up with us. The Thais touched down three times in the final quarter. We should be suitably proud of ourselves and in particular a very strong display from the pack where Carlos and Rhys used their combined 300kg to great affect. We wish Thailand the best of luck in their match against India and we hope to continue to build on this relationship we have with the national side. The Chris Kays Tens in Pattaya and Phuket International Tens are on the horizon. In addition we have a few visiting teams coming to kingdom. Keep those boots handy!

Banger Banter. April - June 2011

You Will Always be A Banger

Ciao nother season is about dawn and I am really looking forward to it. Thanks to everyone for voting me in again as the Colts Captain at the AGM. Its a real honour. We have a lot of work to do this year, particularly if want to improve upon on last season. We lost a few players last year so we need to get out and recruit new bodies. If you know of anybody that interested, please bring them out for training. You know the rules. They don’t have to be stars. Over the years, we have had new players that knew nothing about the game, join the club and we turned them into rock stars. We now have a coach. Des Gist. I look forward to working with Des in getting the Colts off on the right track for another year of great rugby. There are hugh challenges in front of us but I know we can do it. By the way, we have another generous sponsor. We were recently contacted by Brad McElroy, CEO of The Barbecue Store in Bangkok. He has donated a four burner barbecue to the Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club for our support of the Bangkok Lions. Just fantastic. Thanks Brad. I am back in Italy at the moment. Unable to make it to Pattaya for the Cris Kays International Tens. Best of luck lads and we will see you soon Tante cose

Roberto

Banger Banter. April - June 2011

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Post”. The game was played at a furious crawl. Supermac proved to be faster than Superman, kicking off then shuffling to the sidelines. He was also supposed to organise the rolling subs, but must have forgotten to take his pills. By half time all subs were on the field. No one was counting heads anyway. A few minutes before full time, the referee was reminded of rule number one of the Ancients Rugby credo. ”No Winner, No Loser” This gentle reminder influenced his next decision A very deft kick-off, a lot of fumbles and missed tackles by the Red team and the Black team scored a double try -- Whatever that is. The game, of course finished in a draw, The winner was rugby. All the players retired to the first aid room for their Geratol or was that a Heineken? It is very encouraging to see so many oldies keen to join in the spirit of our “Ancients” style of rugby. We must wholeheartedly pursue the development of our special game, unique in Asia. What is important it keeps the really old fellas in the game. Other clubs in the region are beginning to take notice. My personal thanks to all the players and also to the younger Bangers for their enthusiastic support.

The Old Bangkok Bangers “Ancient” style of rugby is very much alive and kicking. This was proven at the recent 2011 Bangkok International Tens. Thirty five players showed up for the exhibition game, all aged more over 50 years, who willingly put their body on the line in the name of fun, friendship and fraternity. The eldest player was 71 years young, with most players in the 60 plus range. There was no truth to the rumor that Capitol Television needed to record the match for the expected coroner’s inquiry. Raine Grady, the producer, made it clear she needed some quality, real life rugby action as filler to support the boring takes they recorded from the main tournament games. The boys put on a great show for the crowd. We were piped on to the field by bagpipes of Iain Mowatt, a fellow Ancient. No he was not playing “The Last

Banger Banter. April - June 2011

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BANTER : Where are both from in New Zealand ? SOPO : We were born and raised in South Auckland, New Zealand BANTER : You have Samoan lineage. Are your parents in New Zealand ? SOPO : Our parents are were born in Samoa and migrated to New Zealand in the early 60’s and now have moved to Australia and live in Perth, Western Australia. BANTER : How old were you both got a taste for rugby ? SOPO : I remember going to watch my father play rugby, so every match all the kids will come out and have a run on the field after the adults had played there match. I guess it was in our blood and once you put that ball in our hands, we become different people. KILEA : Born with it BANTER : Do you have fond memories of your early rugby days ? SOPO : Yeah, at a early age everyone wants to be number 10 – so I started playing in the forwards and loved breaking off the scrum and sizing up my opposite number. KILEA : Always loved looking out to the sideline and seeing mum and dad cheering me on. BANTER : Who were big influences on your career growing up? SOPO : Of course my parents and just the work ethic they had and love for us – they believed we
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could be whoever we wanted to be if we worked hard at it KILEA : Hands up to my old man BANTER : Who were some sporting heroes growing up ? SOPO : My father. He loves sport and was a boxer and a rugby player – I saw the passion he had for the sport and the discipline of being the best you can be in it. Michael Jones and John Walker are a couple others sporting heroes that spring to mind, KILEA : Michael Jones (Iceman) and Brian Lima (Hitman) BANTER : Can’t help but notice your love of physical contact during a game.? SOPO : At school – we were always taught that you MUST commit to the tackle even if it’s a two on one - so the follow through has been an important game plan growing up. The Samoan game is always physical, as they say “The bigger they are, the bigger they fall” BANTER : Who’s the better athlete Sopo or Kilea? SOPO : I don’t know how to answer that one. We both love and respect each other’s abilities to be as good as you can be and enjoy playing the game. KILEA : I think the more important question is, “who is the better looking?” Me of course, but seriously, my brother is the better player. BANTER : What have been your best sporting moments on the field? SOPO : The best moments for me are playing against the Southerners and beating them!! Having a good team of gifted players behind you, always makes for awesome sporting moments on the field. BANTER : What do think of the current All Black side ? SOPO : I don’t know who’s been picked for the squad this year. BANTER : Are we good enough to win the World Cup ? SOPO : Not sure, but they will have the massive pressure of winning this years World Cup. I think they just need to play every game and enjoy it. They are a gifted group of guys. KILEA : I think we can win it, as long as Graham Henry doesn’t put Luke McAlister on the paddock. BANTER : Cannot help but notice the number of All Blacks with Samoan heritage ?
Banger Banter. April - June 2011

You Will Always be A Banger

SOPO : The influence of New Zealand rugby in the 60’s has played a major role for the sport played in Samoa. I think for every young Samoan that plays the sport is always dreaming of representing their country and for those who have been given opportunities to play in New Zealand, is like they have struck gold. KILEA : Yes its because the capital of Samoa is Auckland BANTER : When you arrived in Bangkok, how did you both end up playing with the Bangers ? SOPO : I’ve played for the British Club under Eddie in 05’. When I moved here 07’ Eddie told me about the Bangers and I have been playing for them ever since. Le’a visited Bangkok a couple of times I had him come and play for us He remembered the great atmosphere and how he bonded well with the guys in the club. KILEA : Easy. Sopo was already a member of the club and I happily tagged along. BANTER : Enjoying your rugby in Bangkok ? SOPO : Very much, I would like to get more involved with rugby here especially with one of the rugby programs that we run with the Slum kids – I think we can take rugby in Thailand into another level. KILEA : Absolutely, The fact that rugby exists in Bangkok is a bonus.

BANTER : Tell us a little about Ark International and the Nak Suu Rugby Academy ? SOPO : Ark International is an organization that works with Children at Risk in SE Asia. Prior to starting Nak Suu, we would visit different slum communities during the week and run our kids program in those communities. I noticed a patterns of school drop outs, addiction, with no real role models or opportunities for kids to achieve something in their life. These kids have great potential but lack the opportunities to be successful in life. I had an idea about creating a sports program. All the kids that play rugby also attend the mentoring program, which focuses on life skill development: making choices, perseverance, identity and self-esteem etc. So that’s really how Nak Suu was born. It is 100% non-profit and all of our staff are volunteers - it’s been really positive so far and we feel privileged to serve the communities in this way.

BANTER : Kilea, you had a great year on the paddock. You seem to connect well with Shaun Stewart and Jacques Boshoff ? KILEA : Yer it seem to work well. Shaun was such a gifted player. He gave me many plenty of space to work with. The understanding between Jacques and Shaun was also something special. It was liked they had played together before. It was a great season and I take my hat off to every Banger that played. BANTER : You won the Colt of the Year at the recent Captains Dinner. Must be happy about that? KILEA : Thanks Bangers. Really appreciate it. Another trophy added to my extensive collection (grand total of 1)
Banger Banter. April - June 2011

BANTER : What’s your involvement with Ark International? SOPO : I’m the SE Asian Regional Director (noth11

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ing fancy but the overseer). KILEA : I work with Sopo and the Nak Suu Rugby Academy. I coach two teams, both in the under 10’s division. During the week I also help out with our other programs and mentor a group of teenage boys in one of the communities BANTER : Briefly, what are your long term plans for the Nak Suu Rugby Academy ? SOPO : My plans for Naksuu are to develop a center where we can expand our resources into more communities so that more and more kids have access to our program.

We have a desire to network with different universities around the city to give scholarships for these kids who have great potential – use this as an incentive for our kids to remain at school and to understand the importance of education. Our wishes for the youth center is that it could be a place for further training and development into other areas of specialized skill BANTER : The Old Bangkok Bangers have helped with some funding and your coaching program. It seem however you need more to meet your objectives? SOPO : Firstly, we are so grateful for all the support that the Bangers have contributed to the Nak Suu program and for all the Bangers who have volunteered in helping with our programs. I believe that giving the kids rugby is not enough to sustain them in making good choices in life and building character – transforming lives and communities is a big commitment and we are willing to go all the way. In regards to funding, there are different categories of needs for individuals/clubs to direct donations for Nak Suu • A rather significant amount of money to purchase land and develop a Youth Center • Weekly running cost (approx $400) • Acquisition of 3-4 Large Vehicles ($30,000 each USD) – this makes up nearly 2/3 of our running costs each week at present. • We always need more volunteers and committed coaches BANTER : Thank you both for your time.

The IRB Law 2 states: • The ball must be oval and made of four panels. • Length in line 280 - 300 millimeters • Circumference (end to end) 740 - 770 millimeters • Circumference (in width) 580 - 620 millimeters • Material: Leather or suitable synthetic material. It may be treated to make it water resistant and easier to grip. • Weight: 410 - 460 grams • Air pressure at start of play: 65.71-68.75 kilopascals, or 0.67-0.70 kilograms per square centimeter, or 9.510.0 lbs per square inch.

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Banger Banter. April - June 2011

Contact : EDDIE EVANS

You Will Always be A Banger

Des Gist
e have a new coach. Des Gist Des has been a member of the Banger for last three years. Des grew up in North Queensland. He originally played rugby leaque, however converted to union while still at high school, playing for Townsville Grammar. Following on he had spells with South Kiwis in Townsville - now the Ross River Redskins - the University in Melbourne and the Typhoons Rugby Club in Hong Kong. When he took up his regional appointment in Bangkok with Colgate Palmolive, he naturally wanted to be involved with rugby, so joined the Old Bangkok Bangers. Des’s coaching career started when he became involved with the Hong Kong Rugby Union Mini Rugby Program when his children started to play the game. He has maintained an interest ever since. When he arrived in Bangkok he became involved with the Bangkok Lions, taking responsibility for the under 14’s . When he asked what he hoped to achieve in coaching the Bangers. He said “That was a good question. With such an eclectic bunch with wide degrees of skills/experiences and age it will be an interesting task to challenge the skillful and improve the inexperienced while maintaining the philosophy of inclusiveness and fraternity.” This man should be a politician when he give up coaching. We wish Des the best of luck and anticipate he will take Banger rugby to the next level. Des will have a regular column in the Banter.

Shaun Stewart
ts not often we write about a player that has moved on after a season with the Bangers. That tradition is cared before before the player leaves with a party and farewell drinks. However from time to time, some players stand out who in a short space of time made a real impact on the Banger game. We are talking about Shaun Stewart. Diminutive in stature, Shaun made a hugh impression last season with the Banger Colts. He has since left the club and returned to his native South Africa. The pint-sized assassin possessed a tactical awareness of the options available in attack and defense. His agility, balance, quickness, and the ability to get the ball out to the back line in a timely and controlled fashion was a pleasure to watch. Time and space are popular and overused words these days to measure some of the talents of inside backs. In Shaun’s case these words are just perfect. He kept his opposite number and the loose forwards always guessing and on the back foot. Another skill was his ability to pass the ball without looking, always knowing intuitively there someone was there to receive it. When you asked Shaun where he acquired these talents he modestly replied it came naturally. The Old Bangkok Bangers wish him all the best back in South Africa. He made many friends here and would always be welcome back.
Banger Banter. April - June 2011
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Banger Banter. April - June 2011

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Commercial Manager

HEINEKEN
BANTER : What changes do you see occurring in the next ten years in the industry and how is Heineken positioning itself to take advantage of these opportunities? ANDREW: The competition within Thailand will increase as the market opens up and consumers look for more choice, this has been experienced in many markets. Heineken is in the enviable position of dominating the premium segment so we need to work to ensure the brand remains relevant as the consumer needs change. It is also important to have a strong portfolio of brands so we are fortunate to have Tiger, Cheers (a local beer), Guinness and Kilkenny. BANTER : How would you define Heineken current positioning in the Thailand beer market? ANDREW: Heineken is the premium international beer in Thailand, targeting the drinkers 25 +…you don’t learn to drink with Heineken, we leave that for the mainstream beers. The Thai consumer is our core target, however farang account for higher consumption per drinker so you guys are still very important to us. BANTER : How does an organization the size of Heineken measure its performance? What are the key drivers that enable success? ANDREW: Quality is a key measure and not just in the product but the way we present the brand in the market and the activities that we run. For us it is not about how much volume we sell, although this is very important for the team at the brewery, but how we add value to the brand by driving equity and consumer demand.

BANTER : In preparing for this interview the Banter did a little research. There is not many countries you are not in these days. 170 countries I believe ? ANDREW: That’s correct. Heineken first arrived in Asia in 1931 as a joint venture partner in what is now Asia Pacific Breweries out of Singapore and currently has 37 breweries in 13 countries throughout Asia. BANTER : Before I start, I must say I did the Heineken brewery tour in Amsterdam a couple of decades ago. It was on of those things you did as a right of passage backpacking around Europe ? ANDREW: I also recall a brewery tour in Pilsen, Czechoslovakia where we ended having to sleep the night in the brewery carpark after a bit too much sampling went on, never looked back! I am very fortunate to be paid for doing something that I enjoy doing and able to have an excuse to spend time in bars rather than behind a desk. BANTER : What are the qualities that Heineken possess that have allowed it to continue being so successful? ANDREW: Heineken is a true international beer with consistency across the world. We regularly sending samples back to Amsterdam to have tested, to ensure strict quality standards are met and we also source raw materials from the same suppliers as other Heineken breweries so we are always producing a consistent brew, which is hard to beat.
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BANTER : Andrew you were in Hanoi before taking up the reins here? Any similarities between the Vietnam market and Thailand ? ANDREW: The difference is that the beer market in Vietnam is growing quickly as the wealth increases and drinking beer is part of the culture so when you go out, beer is ordered by the crate and you sit there until it is finished…some close similarities to the Bangers! BANTER : The Bangers gives support to Heineken in the usual manner . We drink enough of it. Broke the record at the Red & White Restaurant on Soi 105 recently. 141 bottles in one session ? ANDREW: I have had the pleasure of joining the Bangers at the Red & White for the Christmas Carols and saw the potential even with it being a family session…must say that the Bangers are also a major contributor to the beer sales at the Bangkok 10’s. BANTER : See you have a trot with Banger Vets occasionally, Are you enjoying the rugby here ? ANDREW: I enjoyed getting out for a run at the Bangkok 10’s but age has certainly caught up since I was last on the pitch. Not a bad effort put in by the team with a spot in the finals. I intend getting out again when the time allows and get down to the NIST training. BANTER : Thanks Andrew. See you at training

Old Bangkok Bangers. Coach 2003 - 07

ell I’ve made it back to our beloved Thailand and I am so much wiser and maturer than when I left almost 4 years ago. Sounds like a great opening line for an epic novel, but it’s just the senile musings of an ex-coach, ex-player, ex-pat Banger who now sees all around him the Old Bangkok Bangers Rugby Club going through changes. I didn’t expect anything else. Now don’t get me wrong I have assiduously followed the Bangers fortunes from Malaysia, Ireland and Egypt during my absence and have made the odd pilgrimage back to worship at the Wall of Knowledge. However when you are back amongst it, it’s no longer a voyeuristic titillation but you get to appreciate (again) the hard work and dedication that makes the Bangers a uniquely friendly club. Now I’m being a little disingenuous here as I’m not actually in Bangkok but living in the pearl drop island of Phuket – home of our arch rivals the Viagrabonds. More of that later. The Bangers can now boast age ranges from minus 8 months (foetuses are ritualized into the club as soon as a Bangers little spermatoza hooks up) through the Nak Su Academy, the Colts, the Old Boys and now the Ancients. What next - the Decrepits and the Arthritics. Alas, I’m now living 900 kilometers away so the Colts will just have to do without me. The Viagrabonds have been tempting me with free diving trips to the Similan islands and swimming with manta rays. Pat Cotter is indeed a wiley coach. Of course every man has his price but I’d rather be a Trojan horse amongst them than go down in history as a traitorous Brutus, Judas or Gavin Henson. If at some stage, I may be persuaded to don the enemy’s mantle you can be sure that it will not be against the Bangers and that I will he handsomely awarded for it – swimming with Pippa Middleton might just do the trick.
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Banger Banter. April - June 2011

Barbecue Store 21 Sukhumvit Soi 39 Sukhumvit, Bangkok

You Will Always be A Banger

Global Traveller

t was the year of 1997 when my beautiful blue eyes were opened up to the world; I was to encounter two life changing experiences. Firstly I lost my virginity. Yes I know it was late (17 years old) but in those days I was even uglier than I am now. Whilst I’m sure you are all intrigued about my virginity, sexual conquests and desires it is my second experience which has had more of an impact on my life. The first time I travelled abroad. I can’t remember the exact date, thirteen years is a long time ago. Stumbling downstairs to have breakfast my mother calls me “Ritchie! Come here please” I was thinking “What now?” I haven’t done anything wrong or misbehaved in the slightest which believe it or not was a rarity in those days when I spent parts of my youth being a bit of a bad boy. My mother was sat with my grandmother in the lounge sipping on their coffee, very unusual indeed. I was asked to sit down and then it was broken to me. I was going to Barcelona in Spain, for the last ten years all I had to look forward to was a week in Butlins. I was so excited and had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, the only downside was it was with my grandmother. After several minutes of weighing up the pros and cons of travelling with my grandmother, I was like Why Not ? she was only in her 40s at the time and still raring to party. The trip from the Northamptonshire countryside to Gatwick was a long and boring one. Conversation between my grandmother and I was at a minimum as I was shitting myself about getting on a plane for the very first time. After an hour and a half we arrived at the airport. I was so excited I could barely contain myself. My parents waved us goodbye as I saw the build-up of tears in my mother’s eyes; for the first time ever my mother was going to be without her eldest son. As we are sat patiently in the departure

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hall, the call goes out for us to board. My grandmother says “let’s go; now the fun starts.” The flight was turbulence free and I wondered to myself what all the fuss was about, apart from taking off and landing you wouldn’t even have known you were moving. So the first night in Salou, a popular tourist destination south of Barcelona. We arrived late in the afternoon there wasn’t much time to explore so we decided just to relax by the pool and get up early. As we met couples and families it was becoming apparent that I could indeed have some fun. So my grandmother and I are necking the beers as the bill tab increases steadily. All this was too much for my grandmother as she retired to bed leaving me all alone, how trusting! The first thing I did was light up a fag, in those days I liked the odd cigarette. The evening was very uneventful; nobody was around so after an hour or two I also decided it was time to sleep. After stumbling through the door and waking my grandmother, it was obvious I was in trouble. “Have you been smoking?” No I replied. I stunk like an ashtray. Whilst eating breakfast at some stupidly early time it was revealed to me we were going to Barcelona. The trip was an organised one which included the Olympic village, driving around a lot, the Gaudi cathedral, La Sagrada Famila and Nou Camp the home of the Barcelona Football Club. The only place I was interested in was the Nou Camp, but it was the work of Gaudi which blew my mind, I was in total awe of his masterpiece and was truly astonished by what he achieved. This one trip paved the way for me to travel the world, only for me to witness some of the most amazing buildings and natural wonders that exist on earth today.
To be continued. .... Banger Banter. April - June 2011

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Banger Banter. April - June 2011

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You Will Always be A Banger

As everybody knows, coffee contains caffeine.
hat’s the stuff which acts on the nervous system. Coffee contains alkaloids, volatile aromatic substances and other compounds that make up the phenolic phase of reconstituted coffee beans. A moderate amount of coffee soothes, eliminates the feeling of tiredness and exhaustion, makes mental work easier and overcomes drowsiness. Larger doses of caffeine can cause nervous excitation, trembling, insomnia, palpitations and irregular heartbeating. Coffee also acts as a digestive stimulant which, some experts say, is why coffee should never be drunk on an empty stomach. The coffee shrub originated in Abyssinia and the Sudan. It is a large evergreen bush with dark shiny leaves. The cherry-like fruit is soaked, depulped and dried. The seeds are then polished to remove the parchment-like husk and outer filament. Legend has it that the first man to drink coffee was the Mufti of Aden, who lived in the beginning of the ninth century. Coffee, Geoff Mckenna - Banger Class of 2002 in the Middle East is considered one of the first necessities of life. It was hardly known in Europe until the sixteenth century. The Dutch founded the East India coffee trade when they introduced coffee into Java around 1690. The best varieties of coffee, known as mocha or Yemen, came from Arabia, Reunion Island and Martinique. The original names have been preserved in the trade to distinguish three main types of coffee. • Bourbon: Medium sized, oblong beans that are yellowish in color. • Martinique: The largest beans, rounded at the ends and greenish in color. • Mocha: Small irregular beans, yellowish in color and convex on both sides. Coffees of various origins are usually blended in different proportions. When green, coffee keeps for a long time, provided that it is protected from dampness. It is totally devoid of any smell. To release the aroma, coffee beans have to be roasted. Well roasted coffee should be brown with varying degrees of darkness but should never be black. If not sufficiently roasted, it produces a colorless liquid that is rough and astringent. If over roasted it results in a black, bitter mess. After roasting, coffee does not keep its aroma for long. Instant coffee was the invention of a Mr. G Washington, an Englishman living in Guatemala. The story has it that while waiting in the garden for his wife to join him for coffee, he noticed on the spout of the silver coffee pot a fine powder which he thought to be the condensation of the coffee vapors. This intrigued him and led to his discovery of soluble coffee. In 1906 he started experiments and put his product on the market in 1909. Of course, since then, hardly any adult on the planet starts their day without a hot cup of Java, Joe…Coffee. Decaffeinated coffee involves an operation that consists of breaking up the beans by the use of steam, subjecting them to an extraction in a solvent, such as chloroform, then eliminating this liquid by heating and roasting. After roasting, the coffee retains the same taste as ordinary coffee that has not been treated without having any of the stimulating properties of normal coffee. (What a waste!).
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Banger Banter. April - June 2011

You Will Always be A Banger

Stewart Gorman - London, Banger 2007 -10

ANTICIPATION IS HALF THE FUN
irst off Bangers, congratulations for your sterling efforts in the Bangkok International 10s with the Old Boys and the Colts reaching their respective finals only to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. At least the Weasel Cup is back in its rightful place. Not forgetting the Ancients who we all aspire to be one day. Great performance chaps. To be honest, at times like this it can be frustrating writing a rugby article, as I read all about the games the Bangers play on a regular basis. I am looking forward to only my second game since arriving back in London. Fortunately, that is this weekend and I’m really looking forward to it. Wanstead’s Vets or as they call themselves the Desparados or Despos for short, have apparently never won a match, so social rugby will be the order of the day – just how I like it. About a month ago, I received an email that the Despos annual fixture with Old Bealonians had been arranged for Saturday 16th April. Out went the call for all Vets regardless of ability to get their act together and head for training some four weeks before the game. So on Wednesday 23rd March I planned to go, only to be thwarted by visiting my mum in hospital. I expecting the visiting bell to ring on time at 7.00 pm giving me the opportunity to meet the 7.30 training deadline This was scuppered by the visiting bell ringing at 7.20. Not to be outdone, the following week I took a day’s leave and arranged for some work to be done at my mum’s house allowing me to do the hospital visit

earlier and get to training on time. It was well worth it with a turnout of 10 vets raring to go. That was until the shuttle runs started and ball retention training routines implemented, leading to several injuries (real or fake I don’t know) and an agreement that we’d best finish off with a game of touch. Knackered but thoroughly enjoyed the hour and half on the paddock I resolved to return the following week. Unfortunately, could not make the final training session this week as we had friends over from Thailand and went out to dinner with them. However I am now worried about my energy levels are not what they should be. Jintana asked me to carry two bags of compost up two flights of stairs for her and I was breathing hard after completing the task. It is now less than 48 hours to the game, butterflies are beginning set in just like they do before the first game of the season. Can already smell the deep heat in the changing room, anticipating the pre-match banter, that first hit and can almost taste the after match thirst quenching Guinness. Now I fully understand why I play this silly game. Hope to catch up with Damien Cryne before too long for a beer as he is another Banger back in London. Understand he has joined a club too but hasn’t told me which one. Nick White on the other hand is playing for Kettering IIIs and invited me to have a run out with them Enjoy the upcoming Pattaya and Phuket tours and in return I’ll tell you all about my second game back in England in the next edition of the Banter. May even have a photo or two!
Banger Banter. April - June 2011

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You Will Always be A Banger

he Old Bangkok Bangers ended another year in a good financial shape. Sponsorship was hard to find this year, so the Banger year will now start on the 1st July instead of the 1st April. The Annual General Meeting didn’t materialise and was re-scheduled for 28th April. Several new faces are standing this year, with the young guns expected to replace some of the Banger “Originals”. The Captains Dinner was another great success. It’s a huge effort putting this event together. Well done to the Andrew Tatam, Roberto Goulo, Douggie and MikeL. The club is moving on to bigger things these days and I wish them luck in their endeavours. Times have changed from the club’s humble beginnings. They are the premier “farang” side in the Bangkok rugby competition and a truly professional outfit. Time for old boy administrators to move on. We still have the Banger Ancients !!!!! Rick O’Shea - Banger Class of 2002 We had a celebrity visit the club rooms recently. He comes from the other code they call soccer. Owen Oyston, a Director of the Blackpool Football Club, was in Bangkok and had meetings with the Thai Football Association plus Bec-Tero Sasana FC. Should they remain in the premier division, they will tour Thailand and play two games. They will use the clubhouse as their den so looking forward to that. May have to get “edumucated” on the round ball code. Well, the Kiwis were unbeaten at the recent World Cup. The Super 15’s has seen a couple of surprise teams with the Reds and the Highlanders playing a good brand of rugby. You get the feeling however, its the Crusaders with no home ground, who will be the team to beat at the business end of the season. The Stormers, Reds, Crusaders, Waratahs and Blues are all looking good for the top six. The Tri-nation series this year will be a reduced format with just a home and away game. On the 9th September the Rugby World Cup commences. All kiwi eyes are not on the competing teams but rather on the ten referees they selected to run the show Controversial refs Jonathon Kaplan and Steve Walsh have been included but not Stuart Dickinson. Yep, Wayne Barnes is flying in from his villa on the south of France. The scary thing here is, should England not make the final he will referee that game. All bets are off!

Still
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Banger Banter. April - June 2011

You Will Always be A Banger

Where were you born ? Marton, New Zealand. The name of your first rugby club ? Bulls RFC. What was your club nickname? Mouse. Did you ever play first grade rugby? Hardly! Where do you call home? Bangkok, Bulls, Wellington, Palmerston North. Five words that describe you.? Persistent. What’s is a phrase you use often...? Oh shut up, Rick. Are you superstitious? No. Touch wood. What is the most surprising thing ever to happen to you ? A woman agreed to marry me. And then another one did too What’s a common misperception people have of you ? That I’m a good ref. What’s your ideal night out ?. Watching rugby at the pub. In a nutshell, what is your philosophy of life ? Life is not a practice run. Get involved. After a busy day what would be the perfect way to relax ? Beer, rugby on the TV What motivates you to be focused and driven? Money. What’s your favourite food? Lamb of course. And I like eating it. What is your greatest talent or party trick? I have many talents. Refereeing rugby must be my greatest. Book you are currently reading or have just finished ?: Ring of Fire – Valentino Rossi’s career (or me after a hot curry) Favourite TV programme:? Cops Favourite Film:? Zulu (before they had cops) Most enjoyable holiday location:? New Zealand – motorbike riding Person you would most like to meet: ? The guy/girl who ‘keyed’ my car in Soi 33 a couple of years ago. Hobbies: ? I can’t say, I’d get arrested. Biggest influence on career: ? Adolf Hitler and Genghis Khan Best career advice you were given ? Get a job. And a haircut.
Banger Banter. April - June 2011

Other sports that you played: ? Cricket, Soccer, Shooting, Basketball, Tennis, Go Karting. Best rugby memory: ? Scoring two tries on debut for the Bulls RFC Under 12s. Rugby player you admire most ? Tates, of course. Rugby team you admire most: ? Stupid question. Sporting event you would most like to attend: ? RWC 2011. Lucky I have tickets! Three people you would invite to dinner ? The Undertaker, Hannibal Lecter, and the wanker that keyed my car. QUICK FIRE Comedy or action ? Action. Books or films? Films. Beer or spirits? Beer. Fast food or health eating? Roast lamb. Night in or night out? Out. McDonald’s, Pizza or street food? Street food. Deep Purple or U2 ? Both. Heineken or Singha ? Sponsor’s brew, naturally. Blonde or Brunette? Brunette. FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND Best airline ? TG Politics ? Best avoided. Religion ? Presbyterian. My conservative nature. Sex ? As often as possible. Reality TV ? Yep. Red Shirts ? Idiots. Soccer ? Ban it.
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You Will Always be A Banger

rikey dik, its three months since I penned my last column for the Banter. A lot has happened on the rugby pitch since then. The Super 15’s has been exciting this year, with the Queensland Reds showing the way. Top of the ladder. You can’t do any better than that. The recent game against the Waratahs was beauty. I said last year, the Reds were going to be the team to beat in a season or two. Its happened faster than I thought. The wobbly Waratahs have a lot of work to do. Really disappointed. Just seem to throw games away. Buggered if I know what wrong with them. The Melbourne Rebels are finding it tough in the big league, the Western Force are competitive and the Canberra Brumbies have pressed the self destruct button. The Brumbies goes through coaches like I go through cans of Tooheys. Bets are on to see how long Jake White stays. Which brings me to the Crusaders. They are the Kiwi team to beat with Sonny Boy and Danny Carter and that fellow with the odd name, Israel Dagg, giving them plenty of bullets. However, they are not having it all their own way across the pond That Auckland mob are looking good this year also. The Pommie flyhalf, Danny Cipriani has failed to fire and has been benched by the Melbourne Rebels. What is it about some players, that seem to want make more news in the bars than they do playing on the paddock. Danny is like that Welshman Gavin Henson, who is always in the news for all the wrong reasons. I see he has been released by Toulon. Cannot help but notice the silly money that is being offered to top players these days. What’s a player to do? Wear the national flag on your breast or a go and play for a French club and earn a million dollars a year. I take the view, its a slam dunk. The million dollars wins. Which brings me to “Dingo Deans”. He must be happy with what he sees out there. His star players are all playing well. If he can get all his ducks in a row right before the World Cup, the Wallabies have to be odds on to make it to at least the semis. I see he has just signed a contract extension. For those interested in how my fitness program is going or was. Started well with a couple of laps around Lumpini Park each morning and a workout on the weights in the apartment building. Then a pile of mates come up from OZ. And that was it. They expected me to show them the town and I did. Still learning to pace myself. See ya round. Bazza

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Banger Banter. April - June 2011

You Will Always be A Banger

f you popped into Wall Street during the recent Cricket World Cup, for a beer you would have noticed there was not a Banger in sight. The Wall Of Knowledge was looking rather forlorn. However, at the other end of the bar business was brisk. Not with Banger rugby club members though. The patrons were mainly from the sub continent and local Indian expats supporting India in the Final against Sri Lanka. Baht was flying across the bar proportional to India’s performance in the game and the drinks just kept coming. Not your budget happy hour beer here but cocktails and spirits. Rick O’Shea, the beaming publican reported “Business was booming. Like old times” His patrons on this day were not just any Indians. These guys were serious movers and shakers in the property market in Bangkok. It turns out they owned most of dirt and buildings on Soi 33. Wall Street Bar & Grill, the Banger clubrooms, are part of their portfolio. The Banger hoi polloi first heard the news, when another favorite watering hole of the Bangers, Tenderloins Steak House, across the road from Wall Street, recently got their lease terminated and marching orders. The not so happy owner did have time however, to find vacant space in a shop house closer to Sukhumvit Road, owned coincidentally by another cartel of Indian property investors!!! On the Tenderloins site, the property syndicate are building a multi story hotel. Like everywhere in Bangkok at the moment, cranes are working overtime building condominiums and hotels. The clubrooms have escaped the hatchet. Apparently, Punters Outside Wall Street Watching The Cricket World Cuo the proprietor has an iron clad lease. Whatever that means. What’s happening on the Wall of Knowledge? Not a lot to report these days. The owner is away on his annual motorbike pilgrimage around the kingdom. The Wall of Knowledge could do with a bit of a spruce up. Its looking a little tired these days. With the World Cup coming up, maybe the Wall of Knowledge Board of Deputies should have a quiet word in the ear of the owner. Some things never change. On any given Saturday, you will find Douggie Ozanne and Geoff the Chef sitting at the Wall. They are two very loyal patrons. Not easy to find that type of customer devotion these days in a crowded Bangkok pub market.

Banger Banter. April - June 2011

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You Will Always be A Banger

ugby shirt, often referred to as a jersey, is a shirt worn by players of rugby union. It usually has short sleeves, though long sleeves are common as well. Rugby shirts have a buttoned opening at the top, in a similar style to polo shirts but with a stiffer collar. Modern rugby shirts often have a very small collar so as to provide less material for a potential tackler to latch onto (even though such an action is illegal in a game). Rugby shirts traditionally have rubber buttons so that they would, if pulled on in a game, come undone rather than pop off. Rugby shirts, like most sports jerseys, will usually have a logo on the chest and a number on the back, though shirts not meant for competitive play will usually forgo the number. Labels of sponsorship are common, and generally appear on the abdominal area of the shirt. A traditional design of rugby shirt consists of five or six horizontal stripes or "hoops" in alternating colours. Rugby shirts were traditionally made out of cotton, but as synthetic fabrics became cheaper they have become incorporated into rugby shirts. The two most common materials are a mix between cotton and polyester and pure polyester. The reason for the preference of polyester in a game situation is twofold: firstly, polyester is harder to get hold of in a tackle situation, as it is inherently more 'slippy' than cotton or a cotton-blend. In addition, the increasing use of skin tight shirts further enhances this effect, as there is no loose material for a tackler to get a grip of. The other benefit of man-made fibre over cotton is that it absorbs less water and mud. A cotton rugby kit can weigh around 6 to 8 lb (2.7 to 3.6 kg) when wet.

ugby boots are the most important tool for a rugby player. They are the primary asset on the field, and have a huge impact on the performance of a player, so it is imperative to ensure that they are kept in good shape. As boots can be rather pricey, - if you are not buying Silom Road copies - it makes sense to take special care of them; else you will have to keep on buying new boots all the time. Not only will proper maintenance prolong their usage, it will also help you improve your game by increasing support and comfort! The important thing about cleaning your rugby boots is to do so after each wear. The boots must be dried out after the every game especially after playing during bad weather like rain. Rugby boots are subjected to constant kicking often in awful conditions, such as muddy and watery grounds. It is important to clean off all traces of dirt, mud or grass off your boots with a soft damp cloth, preventing damage to the leather. When not in use, try to keep them as dirt and dust free as possible. If there is excessive dirt that cannot be removed easily, use a leather cleaner. If you do not have this specific cleaner, do not use any other type of household cleaning product on your boots. These can damage your shoes and cause colours to fade. If your boots are wet, let them dry naturally. If the sock liner is not glued into the boots, remove it and stuff the shoes with crumpled newspaper. This will ensure that the shoes will retain their shape while drying. Do not use artificial heat such as a radiator to dry your boots, as this will cause the leather to become stiff and deteriorate the adhesives. If the heat is intense enough, the soleplate can warp, making your boots uncomfortable to use. If you have screw-in studded rugby boots, these require additional care to maintain the studs and thread area. When dry, remove studs from the sole of the boots, clean thoroughly and grease the studs. Greasing the studs will present rust from forming if moisture gets in. Re-tighten the studs to ensure that they do not fall off.
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Banger Banter. April - June 2011

You Will Always be A Banger

ugby players on occasions engaged in an evening of heavy alcohol consumption. Many of these individuals likely suffered the miserable physical and psychological effects the following morning. Irritability, headache, muscle aches, fatigue, nausea and photophobia are all part of a post-alcohol syndrome known as a hang over. The symptoms associated with a hang over can last hours to days depending on the individual. Fortunately there are some steps you can take to help get rid of a hang over faster.

R

Instructions
Degree Of Difficulty : Moderate Begin consuming fluids as soon as possible to get rid of a hang over. Water is fine but oral rehydration solutions or sports drinks are better choices because of the critical minerals and electrolytes they contain. Eat some sugar to get rid of a hang over. Honey, which contains fructose and glucose, is a popular remedy when mixed with water. Much of the irritability and poor concentration associated with a hang over are the result of the body’s temporary inability to produce adequate amounts of sugar. Start eating solid food to get rid of a hang over. Food consumption will provide the electrolytes and calories necessary to eliminate alcohol and it’s harmful metabolites from the body. Go slow to avoid nausea or vomiting. Consider eating a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich to help get rid of a hang over. This popular ritual is based on the fact that each of the various food components is rich in the amino acid cysteine which is necessary for the production of the antioxidant glutathione. Increase the amount of functional glutathione in your body to get rid of a hang over. Glutathione works to detoxify alcohol and it’s metabolites. Avoid coffee when trying to get rid of a hang over. The caffeine may provide a brief burst of energy; however, it is also a diuretic which will worsen your hydration status. Consider taking vitamin B6 (pyridoxine) to get rid of a hang over. There’s actually a small medical study that supports this practice; however, the amount of pyridoxine used was extremely large. Wash down your vitamins and supplements with a fruit juice elixir that contains bananas, citrus fruits and strawberries. This healthy drink is rich in B vitamins, magnesium and vitamin C all of which help the body detoxify and eliminate alcohol.

Banger Banter. April - June 2011

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You Will Always be A Banger

A Guy Goes Into A Supermarket Our Lawn Mower Broke

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway..” The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
And Then The Fight Started......

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, ‘Do you know me?’ To which she replies, ‘I think you’re the father of one of my kids.’ Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, ‘Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?’ She looks into his eyes and says calmly, “No, I’m your son’s teacher.”

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for my pension. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience today. She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’ And then the fight started... My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’ I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.” And then the fight started........ My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.” I bought her a bathroom scale. And then the fight started... My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, “What’s on TV?” I said, “Dust.” And then the fight started..
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Wallaby Prop Diet
Banger Banter. April - June 2011

You Will Always be A Banger

Old Bangkok Banger Rugby Therapist fuel line. If it’s clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors. I hope this helps Nantida I split up with expat boyfriend six weeks ago after a year together. His excuse was that he wanted space, but three days later he texted me saying he loved me. Then someone told me he’d started seeing another girl, who works as a go go dancer, straight after me. I called to ask him why and he told me he didn’t know what he was doing and that he missed me. He added that he was worried I’d never want him back after what he’d done. I’m so confused. Why did he say he wanted to be alone then get together with someone else? And why does he keep saying he loves me? He’s 36 with no kids and parties a lot. Need Advice You know what, it doesn’t matter why he’s doing all these things. Don’t hang around for his calls or text messages. He’s 36, he’s been with you a year and the commitment has scared the hell out of him. He clearly doesn’t know whether he’s ready to give up partying and go go dancers. He’s trying to keep you on hold. Carry on making a good life for yourself and I reckon that by the time he comes crawling back, you’ll think “Actually, I’m all right without you”. Find a new boyfriend Nantida We have been going together with my Isarn girlfriend for three years now. All was going along fine until my recent visit up country to visit the family over Songkran. Enjoy these visits but nothing prepared me for the request on the latest visit. Here father took me aside ask me if I would buy him a rice harvester..... I nearly choked on my Beer Chang. I have been generous with her family but this request really caught me off guard. I said that I would think about it. Of course, I am not interested is being the family banker and looking for a diplomatic way to say “No”. Hate Rice My advice is just say “No. You cannot afford it.” I think however, you need to understand the real issue. In Thailand the extended family is important, regardless of whether you are Thai or a Westerner. Her family think you have been shacked up with their daughter for three years and you are now an integral part of the family. From time to time, they will come to you for assistance. This is a fact of life here. So just tell him, that you would rather spend any spare cash you might have, making a better life for his daughter, rather than investing in the agricultural infrastructure. Best of luck.
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Nantida I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV. I hadn’t driven more than 5 miles down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbours’ daughter. I’m 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbours’ daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed. Ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won’t go to counselling and I’m afraid I can’t get through to him any more. Can you please help? Frustrated Its difficult to advise on this case. Separation is one possible option. If he won’t take your common sense advice, suggest you talk to your lawyers. They may have a financial solution. That generally works On the engineering side I am up to speed. A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the
Banger Banter. April - June 2011

DHL Thailand 2011 Celebrity Rugby World Cup Dinner
Featuring 3 Past RWC Internationals

Toutai Kefu
1999 RWC

Frank Bunce

Dan Luger M.B.E
1999, 2003 RWC

1991, 1995 RWC

BOOK NOW: Be part of the RWC build up! Tickets Limited DATE: Friday June 24, 2011 Great Auction Items. Including a rugby VENUE: The Conrad Bangkok Hotel simulator to test your All Seasons Place, 87 Wireless Road skills LUMPINI, BANGKOK Hosted by: Justin ‘Sambo’ Sampson TIME: 7:00PM till late
Sumptuous 5 star Four Course Meal, with free flowing Heineken beer and five bottles of wine per table of 10. DRESS CODE: Club Blazer or semi-formal TICKETS: THB2,800 pp or THB28,000.00 table of 10.
AHMED FAWZI—089 811 9683 or BRUCE HILL—081 754 3142 or bkklions@yahoo.com PROUDLY SPONSORED BY:

CONTACT:

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