start talking cute, wanna tell her that I love her but I'm secretly a mute"), any song possible

from Wicked or Hairspray with a special dispensation for AcrossTheUniverse, {{Anastasia}} and now of all things, DoctorHorriblesSingAlongBlog. What's really creepy is seeing two teenage girls walk up to each other happily, hug, and then suddenly glare at each other and begin to sing "Slipping" in their most villain-esque sexy tones. ** Also, in a non school related example, this same troper was one on a Girl Scouts event hayride. Trundling through the forest in perfect blackness, a cart full of girls on haybales, all having their own separate jolly conversations, when I began to whistle (for no particular reason) the tune most often recognised as [[TheWizardOfOz "If I Only Had A Brain"]]. Instantly, a girl on the back of the hayride began to sing under her breath cheerfully [[{{Goth}} "I'd be thinner, I'd be taller, go clubbing in my collar..."]] FIVE GIRLS BUST OUT SINGING. Then five more. Then five more. That's right. A hayride of girls aged 8 to 14 all performing a lyrically perfect rendition of "If I Only Were A Goth". None of us knew each other. Needless to say, instant bonding. ** And now, the lyrics to ''ShoggothOnTheRoof'' are making the rounds in my family home. I got my mom into Lovecraft. Help me. * The highlight of this troper's sister's graduation party was when everyone started signing along to all 6 minutes of "Bohemian Rhapsody"... while the majority of them were crowded into a rented bouncy castle no less. * This Troper and her friends were hanging out at the beach a few days ago when we discovered that one member of the group had a laptop that had on iTunes the entire Rent soundtrack. With no rehearsal and varying degrees of memorization, we broke into La Vie Boheme A. Our performance was so enthusiastic that a couple toddlers who were making sand castles tried to join in. * This happened a lot in This Troper's high school drama club. During a rehearsal for our production of ''[[{{Theatre/ptitlenjisnv3p}} Les Misérables]]'', our smoke machine set off the fire alarms. After we were evacuated to the parking lot, we decided to stay warm by performing One Day More a cappella with full choreography and blocking. We also often broke into Stand By Me, Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen, No Woman No Cry, and Fields of Gold. * This troper has two separate sources of these. The first was high school theatre - predictably, stuff like "La Vie Boheme A" and "There Is Nothing Like A Dame" showed up, but the most memorable one was when almost every single person in there got in on Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend". The second source of these is her [[{{Nakama}} group of best friends]]. We have a tendency to bust into not only Broadway, but Bob Marley and Disney songs - the best so far has been "Zero To Hero" from Hercules. * This Tropette's 8th grade English class just burst into Don't Stop Believin' during a vocab test. We all failed for talking during a test. So. Totally. Worth. It. * Fun experiment! Go into any crowd of people, and start stomping your feet and clapping your hands to the beat of "We Will Rock You." See how many people join in. Guess how many people this troper got going

once? ''An entire school auditorium.'' It was a pep rally and spirits were naturally high, but the sheer number joining in was fairly stunning. We even had a few people going, "Weee will weee will rock you!" * This happened at my summer camp. It was raining, so nearly everybody was in the indoor cafeteria. One kid in my group started pounding out the beat to "We Will Rock You", only he started singing the lyrics to "I'm a Little Teapot." The first round was solo. Then his friends joined in. Then the entire table. At the end of it, we got half the cafeteria (a big place, mind you) to join in for a good five or ten minutes. * Last year, in this troper's year twelve German class, we were trying to explain "bogan" to the German exchange students. It was harder than it sounds! But one girl started quoting some lyrics from the chorus of Chris Franklin's 'Bloke'. "A labourer by day, he drinks up all his pay!" Cue a vast majority of the class joining in, proudly bellowing out "I'm a bloke, I'm an ocker and I really love your knockers!" * For Spirit day in this Troper's high school, the seniors had to sing a song based on their color (yellow) and the entire school burst out singing "Yellow Submarine". (Likewise, "I'll make a man out of you" from Mulan was pretty much garanteed to get the whole school singing.) * In this Troper's 3rd-grade music class, the kids all celebrated getting new books by finding the page with the "Happy Days" theme and singing it. We sounded pretty good for a bunch of eight-year-olds! Too bad our Music teacher was such a bitch and never let us explore our budding talents. * This Troper's Mandarin teacher gave the class the Mandarin lyrics to "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan. After everyone learned them pretty well, the teacher had the entire class sing it for the principal, complete with interpretive dance moves. * This Troper remembers a cold day at a drama festival. The heater in my friend's mom's car was ticking, and before you knew it one person started going... "Snape, Snape, Severus Snape. Snape, Snape, Severus Snape," and another chimed in "DUMBLEDORE!" It was BEAUTIFUL. * This troper works in a restaraunt, and occasionally the cooks will listen to the radio in the kitchen. One time, the radio started "Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy..." which prompted the cooks and busers to join in. Eventually the entire staff started singing and by "Bismillah, No, we will not let you go!" the customers had gotten in on the act as well. Naturally, a good number of us started headbanging immediately after "Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, FOR MEEEEEEEEEE!" * This happened regularly in {{Red Wren}}'s eighth grade English class with a SchoolhouseRock song. "In-terjections! Show excitement! Or emotion!" was heard whenever there was a lull. To be fair, it was more an I sang and everyone else said the interjections, but it works. This also happened at the first dance of her freshman year, where everyone sang along to Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. The DJ silenced entire lines and we filled them in, in addition to just singing along throughout. Also happens a lot in her choir class, of course (whether we're supposed to be singing the song or not). * This Troper has observed (and started) many renditions of the Time

Warp in public. * This happened to me at a talent showcase in high school. It was Valentine's Day, and I sang "Always Be My Baby" by Mariah Carey. By the time I got to the first chorus, nearly everyone in the small theater where the event was taking place was singing along. * This troper saw it happen at a party...with The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny. This is what happens when you give nerds beer. * I don't recall who started it, but in my high school, half of the people (including me) in our (very) large cafeteria just burst out with singning Linkin' Park's "In the End". * This troper's group of high school friends would sing songs while walking down the street like a portable chorus. Once we were sitting in a park singing pretty much every song we all knew, and when we got to "Signs" by Five Man Electrical Band, about a dozen other people in the park gathered around and started singing along. * This editor goes to an art academy in her high school, so naturally these happen a lot, escpecially with tons of music kids in my freshman year. When my math teacher let us watch SpongeBob episodes on his computer, the very metion of the show's name caused the ''whole freakin' class'' to sing [[ The Campfire Song Song]] * This Troper once did this in Japan, in Japanese and English. I was visiting a college English class and sat at a table with all girls, who just so happened to be in glee club or chorus together I learned later. Well, one of them started singing Circle of Life and a few other songs in Japanese and I sang along in English. Next we all sang My Heart Will Go On in English. They asked if I knew any songs in Japanese and all I came up with was Moonlight Densetsu from Sailor Moon, which we all sang in perfect unison. I was the one who barely knew enough Japanese to be in the "advanced" class so my teacher, who was also their English teacher looked at me and began to say, "Are you really singing?" and then realized I was. If class had gone longer we could have pulled off a whole musical routine. * This troper's brother went to a Third Day concert. They did "Call My Name" and on the La la la bits had the entire crowd singing. * Not a personal example, but TT's best male friend was telling her about an incident playing XBox online, Halo naturally. Anway, as best I can remember, he was with his team against another team, and out of the silence began singing 'Manahmanah' his team followed up with 'Do do do do do' eventually, the other team started singing too. We're planning to try it in our Home Room/Patriot Relations class next time. Will be certain awesomeness. * This happens every year, without fail, for one particular song (or one song per gender) during every musical ever at this troper's school. For ''Seussical'' it was "Oh the Things You Can Think!", ''FiddlerOnTheRoof'' was "To Life (L'Chaim)'', and ''Thoroughly Modern Millie'' was "Forget About The Boy" (for all the girls) and the title song (for everyone). We're also prone to doing this with popular musicals, most notably "La Vie Boheme A" and "Seasons of Love" from ''RENT'' and absolutely anything from ''Wicked''. * [[{{Wander}} This Troper]] had this happen during a play he was in

at college. Large cast, and we were doing a speed-run through our lines. Somehow, someone started off with the 'Ah-weee, ee-oo-ee-oo' part of The Lion Sleeps Tonight. We all started to join in. In 3-part harmony. It was epic, but I never told anyone who wasn't there about it for years because I thought they wouldn't believe me. Seeing this page? Awesome. * This troper went to an award dinner last night that was hosted by Dallas Baptist University, which my brother is going to when he graduates. For the finale, the choir and all of the people there stood up and sang "America the Beautiful". There was a bit of video dissonance (when the song got to "for amber waves of grain" it showed deserts) but it was still cool. * [[DeltaOne This Troper]] and his group of friends do this regularly. The idea is, if someone in the group starts singing, everyone else joins in to show solidarity. This has lead to people staring in utter astonishment as a group of twenty-somethings has walked through the Trafford Centre, one girl singing, "[[AvenueQ The Internet is really really great]]," then the rest replying, "[[TheInternetIsForPorn For [=PORN=]]]!" Common songs for our impromptu performances include: ** Anything from AvenueQ ** Most Disney songs ** Queen's top ten ** Anything enjoyably obscure that other people won't have heard of, Maren Ord's ''Everyday'' being quite good for that. *** [[ItGotWorse It Gets Worse]] if we happen to have our instruments with us. Trust me. * Around the time Miley Cyrus' "See You Again" was a hit, this troper's AP Lit class was on a school trip when it came on over the radio. Commence entire busful of overachieving nerds belting Miley at the top of their lungs. * Occured during this troper's production of ''Romeo & Juliet'', which they based in 1969. There was period music for all of the scenes, so you ended up with the entire cast singing quietly backstage when "Pinball Wizard" started playing just before Mercutio and Tybalt's infamous scene. ** Also occured during their production of ''A Midsummer Night's Dream'', which was set in the 80's and featured period music like "White Wedding" and, sung the most out of all of them, "Love is a Battlefield". Nothing like a roomful of half-naked guys singing Pat Benatar. They're doing ''Much Ado About Nothing'' this summer, and God knows which era it'll be. * This troper has been in numerous Fire Drills and Traffic Jams and can remeber singing: Bohemian Rhapsody, Ghostbusters, The Campfire Song Song, Circle of Life, Proud Mary, Witch Doctor, I am the Walrus, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, I'm just a Bill, La Bamba, Hokey Pokey, Feel Good Inc., Gummy Bear, Immagrant Song, Muppet Show Theme, Crazy Train, Time Warp/Sweet Transvestite, Badger Badger Badger, and Eleanor Rigby. * Another Don't Stop Believin' moment: this troper went to a frat house concert on campus in his sophomore year and while one of the bands was in between songs, one of the students yells out the song for a request. The band didn't wind up playing it, but the person who was

responsible for the MP3 playlists during intermissions must have heard it, cause that song came up during the following intermission, and all of us went nuts as soon as it started. Mass singing ensued. ** In this troper's experience, just about every night of barhopping has involved at least one round of "Don't Stop Believing." Seriously, any time this song pops up on the jukebox, at least half the bar will sing along for a verse or two. * [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] had two experiences like this that he remembers; both involving {{Queen}} songs: ** The first was at school one day. During recess, a friend of mine began to stomp his feet and clap to the beat of ''We Will Rock You'' and began to sing the song. I joined in shortly after, and eventually, we had almost everyone out there singing along. ** The second one was when taking a trip out of town with his sister, her husband, and a friend of theirs. While listening to the radio, ''Bohemian Rhapsody'' started playing, and not long after; everyone in the car started singing along. There was much singing, some head banging, and even dueling air guitars thrown into the mix just for good measure. * [[DarkInsanity13 This troper]] woke up from a dream that ended like this, and she's had "Go the Distance" from Disney's Hercules stuck in her head since. She's not quite sure why, since she hasn't watched a Disney movie since at least the fall (and it's currently the middle of January), and it was Beauty and the Beast. * This has happened to this Troper twice. The first was during a school trip the second during a sports day match. The first happened when on a bus trip that was going to take two hours half way through this Troper started singing the Time Warp for no reason. My friends joined in and the the other students and then the teachers. The other was the traditional sports day students V teachers match. The students were losing and this student starts singing "Oró Sé do Bheatha 'Bhaile" only the first verse and then the other students watching join in. In the end the students won. * This Troper's grade 12 history class was preparing to say goodbye to our teacher on the last day before exams. Suddenly, one of the guys whips out his guitar, and the next thing you know, we're all singing "All You Need is Love" by the Beatles (her favourite song). By the end, she was in tears, and so was half the class. * The day This Troper's Boss retired as head of the police forensic lab; As he left the building everybody joined in a burst of "You'll Never Walk Alone", including all the cops in a guard of honour for him at the time- had about fifty people singing by the end, either at the door, or out the windows. * Happened to [[TheTallOne me.]] I was on the bus on my way to a speech tournament when a kid started singing Sweet Caroline. He sang the opening bit, and for a second, everyone was dead quiet. Then all together: "SWEET CAROLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!! Buh buh buh!" ** Sweet Caroline must be a good crowd song. Every Friday morning, between the first and second bell of the day, the school plays music over the loudspeakers. On the morning they played Sweet Caroline, the entire senior hallway burst into song when the chorus started. * This Troper once went on a choir/band trip up to a nice little

campground, and at dinner time we were informed that the food might be a bit late. Now pretty much everybody was in the school musical, so cue the almost automatic singing of "[[OliverTwist Food Glorious Food]]". * [[MiniKaylee This troper]] started a variation on this at her school orchestra concert the other night. Some of the students in our chamber orchestra, which I play violin in, were warming up in our classroom beforehand. Some of the other violins were practicing one of our pieces, and I kind of randomly joined in. Before too long, pretty much everyone in the room stared playing along. It would have been perfect if we'd had one of the bass players. * [[TheTallOne I]] recently witnessed an entire auditorium, at least 200 people, sing ''Don't Stop Believin' '' whilst waiting for an awards ceremony to start. And that was nothing compared to the spontaneous dance-off that broke out minutes later. It should be noted that this was during a Speech and Debate meet. * There was a small talent show of sorts at [[{{Insegredious}} this troper's]] old college at the end of orientation right before the start of the semester, and he was the first act. When introduced by the MC's, there was some ''very'' audible scoffing and disbelief from the audience. Despite this, he confidently walked out on stage, complete with blazer, [[CoolHat fedora]],...and [[AcceptableTargets accordion]]. After a brief introduction, he proceeded to play and sing [[{{Journey}} "Don't Stop Believin'"]]. Naturally, the surprised audience sang along, and clapping along at the start of the second verse (the first thing that popped into the troper's brain was [[GuitarHero "Star Power Activated!"]]). * [[{{Insegredious}} This troper]] also knows the first season [[{{Pokemon}} Pokémon]] [[CrowningMusicOfAwesome theme song]] on piano, accordion, ''[[JackOfAllTrades and]]'' ukulele, and enjoys surprising people with it every now and then. People always sing along. * This troper's circle of friends was notorious for this in high school (1991-95). We ventured into CrowningMusicOfAwesome territory, however, when we were standing outside a 7-Eleven and the manager (an Apu stereotype if ever there was one) came out, pointed to the "No Loitering" sign, and told the eleven of us (that's right---there were [[UpToEleven 11 stoned teenagers loitering]]) to go away. Someone (OK, it was me) sang "And the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply..." We went across the street from the store (so Apu couldn't call the cops on us) and sang the whole song. * Several times in this Troper's life: Once, a bunch of friends from scifi club (20-30 people) sang "Don't Stop Believing" and "All Star" at a Chinese Buffet (we were asked to stop). Another time, he and two other scifi club buddies burst out with "Falling In Love With You" to help another buddy woo a girl. In high school, his Comedy Club spontaneously went Christmas Caroling around campus, for the better part of three hours, and hitting most of the after school hangouts and ended all our shows by singing Yellow Submarine while doing the Locomotion out of the building and into the bus. * BertieDastard, when in a play that had the other cast member (yes, there were just the two of them) running late, stuck in traffic, was

told to go and warm up the audience, in any way he could. Cue stumbling onto the stage, wide-eyed looks, and starting a bout of songs that had everyone singing along, including My Way, Eye Of The Tiger, and Hey Jude. A CrowningMomentOfAwesome if ever there was one, no? * This troper's Latin class spontaneously burst into "Don't Stop Believin' " on a bus ride. A shame that she was sick and couldn't join in... * This troper took her church youth group to Hersheypark at Christmastime. As our monorail ride concluded and the tram pulled into the station, we heard the opening notes of "Jingle Bell Rock" and ''immediately'' launched into a CrowdSong version. Loudly, but on-key. The people standing in line to get on the ride, sadly, did not join in but rather stared at us as though wondering which was our planet of origin. * [[ArrowDnarrow I'm]] a little surprised that YMCA isn't on here. The DJ at the local roller rink would always play that song whenever there was a school gathering there. ** My drama class is also a fan of this trope. * A bus with around fifty kids on an orchestra trip. Everyone starts singing our competition pieces. THeir own parts (First violins have melody, violas do their parts, 'cellos are providing rhythm, ect.). Coronation March, Brandy 3, and all of the Capriol suite. Prompted the director to say "That sent a shiver down my spine. Please don't do that again". * During AP Psychology class, I don't know how it happened, but someone went "Na na na na." Another part of the room went "Na na na na." Another part responded "Hey hey." And the entire class finished with "Goodbye!" The teacher was understandably confused. * I love my drama group. Sometimes we do crowd songs as vocal warm ups, but the moment I knew I loved them was when we all randomly started singing the CaptainPlanet song. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's happened with a lot of my friendship groups over the years. It has also happened with the Pokemon theme. * "Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world..." ** She took the midnight train going anywhere! ** Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit… ** He took the midnight train going annnyyyywhere! ** A singer in a smoky room ** The smell of wine and CHEAP PERFUME! ** For a smile they can share the night... ** It goes on and on and on and on... ** Strangers, waiting, up and down the boulevard! ** Their shadows searching in the niiiiiiiiii-iights... ** Streetlights, people, living just to find emotion... ** Hiding, somewhere in the NIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! ** (Damn, is Don't Stop Believin' the Most Triumphant Example of EarWorm? It should be) * At the TengenToppaGurrenLagann photoshoot at Anime North 2010, this troper, dressed as Simon, started a sing-along of [[{{Mulan}} "I'll Make]] [[FanVid A Man Out]] [[CrowningMusicOfAwesome Of You"]]. It was ''exactly'' as amazing as it sounds.

* Best crowd song ever: after our final performance of ''Much Ado About Nothing'' and my final high school performance ever, we all went to Steak n' Shake. The show included two girls playing an acoustic version off [[{{LadyGaga}} "Telephone"]], and the show ended with the cast dancing to the actual song. Cue Jordan pulling out her guitar and the whole cast singing and doing a choreographed dance right in the middle of the restaurant. * At this tropers school, whenever "Just a small town girl..." is sung, everyone in the vicinity must immediatly join in with "LIVING IN LONELY WOR-LD!!" * Another "Don't Stop Believin'" example. At my schools Freshman/Sophmore dance last year, the DJ played the song, and everyone, I mean EVERYONE knew every single goddamned word to that song. I knew the chorus and maybe 1/6th of the verses. I chalk this up to three factors: 1) The song is the white people anthem, and I was one of two non-whites there (half-black and at Catholic School, aint that a trip?) 2) I listen to heavy metal, not arena rock. 3) My parents are much older than average, so I didn't hear Journey growing up. At all. Ever. Anyway, that made made me extremely uncomfortable. * This troper's drama friends have a large tendency to do this. Examples include: ** A cast wide "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" ** The cast of Bye Bye Birdie came up with an impromptu song called "The Bye Bye Butthole Blues". ** During breaks while rehearsing for The Diviners, we did "The 12 Days of Christmas" and "The Mysterious Ticking Noise". We also had RENT singalongs in the green room before rehearsals, including "La Vie Boheme" and "I'll Cover You (Reprise)" ** During the cast party for Bye Bye Birdie, the cast, crew, student pit orchestra, director, and band conducter all joined together to sing "Bohemian Rhapsody". ** On the bus ride to a conference, this troper's director put her iPod on showtunes, where we ha sing alongs of Hairspray, Wicked, and, of course, "The Time Warp". *** And on the bus ride back, we were passing the bus of a school we were friends with. We told them to put down their windows, we stuck our dock out of the window, and proceeded to sing "Unwritten" to all of them. * Well, it's actually a chant, but it counts. After a performance of BeautyandtheBeast at [[Tropers/JenKunoichi351 this troper's]] school, everyone proceeded to chant our curtain calls hint before exiting to the crowd outside the wing we were hiding in. "DO I HAVE MY SHOES ALL TIED? YES, I'VE GOT MY SHOES ALL TIED!" It was almost earshattering. ** A more legit example the next day. It was the last play our school was going to perform due to budget cuts, so we decided to exit the wing while all singing "Be Our Guest", with stage people like me included. It served as both a CrowningMomentofAwesome and a CrowningMomentofHeartwarming. * This troper, along with an entire theatre of people, was waiting for the cosplay competition to start at a local anime convention. The director was fiddling on his Macbook and everyone assumed he was getting the performance list. Nope, he opens iTunes and the opening

chords to Don't Stop Belivin' start to blare over the theatre speakers. Not a single person missed the cue. The ''entire'' 300+ person audience comprised of cosplayers and anime geeks begins to sing along in one of the most epic and memorable moments in the convention's history. * [[{{@/DragonKhorse}} This troper]]'s class sung Hakuna Matata during a class test. The teacher joined in, much to our delight. * This Troper was in a small crowd that at the time was focused on annoying a single individual, which somehow culminated in the entire crowd breaking out into a unison performance of the theme from Firefly. I'm sketchy on the details but I think the person being annoyed had never seen Firefly. * This Troper was at the opening panel at PAX Prime 2010. They were playing music before the panel started and Re:Brains by JonathanCoulton came on, the entire audience sang the whole song and raised their arms like zombies during the chorus. * My church had always done this Easter drama for several years until we moved to a different building in 2005. Well, anyone who was either in the drama or watched it every year will automatically start singing the songs if anything that sounds like one of the songs is mentioned. Aahh, nostalgia. * Not really a crowd song, but this troper once began singing the Phineas and Ferb theme-the full version-and right as he finished saying, "...speeeend it...", his friend piped up with, "Like maybe!" Cue a whole two-man chorus of the song. * A few years ago {{McFly}} did a CD signing near this Troper's home, and being a fan of theirs, she went along. When she was waiting inline she was stood next to two fans with a guitar, who began to perform covers of various {{McFly}} songs. Within moments, almost every single person waiting in-line (There must have been at least a hundred {{FanGirl}}s there) were singing along. The band even commented on it! * This Troper is part of a theater company that occasionally goes on a retreat to the artistic director's house in the Catskills. One evening after dinner, people were puttering around and doing their own thing, and one of the playwrights was showing some of us her extensive iTunes playlist -- and something made her put on "Time Warp." To our amusement, first the artistic director intoned along with it -- "It's astounding....time is fleeting...madness takes its toll..." then someone else joined in as Magenta. Yet more chimed in on the chorus. Someone CAME IN FROM A DIFFERENT ROOM just to do the "It's a jump to the left..." part. And soon a dozen or so middle-aged playwrights and stagehands were all crammed into a dining room dancing and singing about how the pelvic thrust really drives you insay-ay-ay-ane. * The bridal party at This Troper's cousin's wedding reception talked the STRING QUARTET playing at dinner into taking a request -- "Don't Stop Believin'" -- just because they all wanted to sing along. * This troper is on the swim team and, at the end of the season this year after conference, we went out to dinner. Right in the middle of it, we all started singing the Free Credit Report. com rap ("F-R-E-E that spells 'free'"). We then went on to sing "I Just Can't Wait to be King" from LionKing and "Go the Distance" from [[Hercules]] then

"Under the Sea" from TheLittleMermaid. This lead into even MORE CrowdSongs like "1985" by BowlingForSoup and, inevitably, "Don't Stop Believin'". This troper and her teammates were surprised that the owners of the restauraunt didn't kick them out. * This troper has a moment with Crowd Drum Break. Her schoolbus driver one year put up some stereo speakers and would tune into the classic rock station in the mornings, and the kids would pay various levels of attention to each song, depending on how tired/late with their homework they were. One morning, one of the songs that came on was "In The Air Tonight", and maybe two kids perked up at the song -- everyone else was talking to their friends, napping, finishing their class reading, whatever. But -- when it came to the drum break, EVERY SINGLE LAST PERSON ON THAT BUS stopped what they were doing, turned around to the back of the seat in front of them, and drummed along -- "BA-dum BA-dum BA-dum BA-dum-bum" -- and then went back to whatever they'd been doing. It took about two minutes for this Troper to stop laughing. * Our school's marching band's theme song seems to be "Don't Stop Believing." It's common for the entire band to start singing it during a trip, starting with just a few people and growing to the entire group. The original Pokemon theme song is another common one. It's a hoot to watch our opponent stare at us, and sometimes a few even join in. * This troper has observed this among the girls with Justin Bieber and recent pop songs. Occasionally a couple others, but when she's tried to start anything from RENT or even Disney she gets blank faces. * This Troper remembers an incident during a pub karaoke night where someone was singing the original (clean) version of "Living Next Door To Alice". Cue the whole pub shouting "ALICE, WHO THE FUCK IS ALICE!" in the chorus. Until they got told to calm down before the last chorus. * This troper remembers a guy with a guitar at college in a room (full of students in music) singing "Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you". After that phrase everybody in the room joined him until the end of the first chorus. Before he started to sing, the guy was explaining to his friend that he heard a comedian saying that if you start singing a song like this one, everybody in the room would follow. Nobody was listening to their conversation, and yet everybody did joined. * My mom and I were leaving a family gathering one night, when I sang a 'Goodbye' rather than saying it. Then my aunt joined in. Then my mom. Then everyone else. Together we sang the 'Goodbye' song from {{Bear in the Big Blue House}}. ** We have also, on occasion sung the goodnight song from {{The Sound Of Music}}. ** Anther 'Don't Stop Believing' moment is one that happened on a tour bus. In ''Italy''. * This troper initiated one in his english lecture, which started off with a serious comment about [[KingLear]] and ended up as '''I'm A Believer'''. And then [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome]] the lecturer joined in... * This Troper has gotten so many people to sing "I'll Make A Man Out

of You" from Mulan with her so many times that she must have broken a record by now. At sleepovers, in public, over the phone/voice chat, even through instant messages and comments on DeviantART and Facebook statuses with multiple people. It amuses her so. That, and the Pokemon theme song from the first season, and "Still Alive" form Portal. Good times, all of them. * This Troper's 8th grade class has a tendency to do this with Rebecca Black's Friday. She also tends to sing loudly in the car, and her sister joins in most of the time. * Yesterday I went to video games live. At the very end, they had a sweet voiced young lady singing Still Alive with Tommy Tallarico on his guitar. Most of the crowd sang along, my little sister and I knew all the words and the lyrics were on a screen so even my mom was singing along by the 3rd chorus. * Just a few months before the school year ended, someone in [[Tropers/{{MiraShio}} my]] class will start singing or playing a song on the guitar. No matter what song it is or who's initiating it, a bunch of others will always join in. Usually, it's either a certain classic, local ballad or "21 Guns" by Green Day. And we also do background vocals. * On Kotaku, in an article about a tugboat running aground-the captain was playing computer solitaire or something-someone posted a link to the Gilligan's Island theme, saying, "...the skipper too..."I posted, "The millionaire...", and someone replied with, "And his waifu." Someone else posted, "The movie star!" I have yet to see any further replies, but hopefully, the song will be completed. * Minor, almost example: One kid in my class was talking and randomly spouts the word "Yesterday." Cue the entire class joining in ''All my troubles seemed so far away...'' in quite the hilarious manner. Then [[TheUnfunny our teacher]] told us to [[StopHavingFunGuys stop]]. So...{{defied trope}}? * I had a pretty epic moment today when there was a partial lockdown and "Bohemian Rhapsody" started playing for the bell. Everyone in my class sang along and was dancing to the music. * This troper is part of a 6th form choir (run by members of the 6th form). On his 18th birthday (May 19th 2011), four other people turned up (one of whom left later). Now, we could have just given up for the week and left, but it was the second-to-last rehersal before we left school, so we basically decided to sing whatever songs we found in full harmony. Cue The Lion King Medely, San Francisco Bay Blues and Concrete And The Clay, amongst an aborted start to Viva La Vida and Bridge Over Troubled Water, being sung. The best part? There was one person in each part (he was bass) and we nailed each song. Unsurprisingly, it was possibly the best rehersal we'd ever had and the best thing that had happened so far that day. * Basically, this happens a lot when a group of theatre kids is in any room together. Or in a bus. This troper, being one of said theatre kids, is part of these a lot. * This troper's entire track team would sing ''Living On A Prayer'' by Bon Jovi when one of our teammates went half-way around the track during a race. We actually got everyone in the bleachers to sing with us on numerous occasions.

* This happened at a Friday Night Football game at this troper's high school. The pep band had started playing the national anthem and slowly the student section started singing one by one. It wasn't that loud, but definitely awesome being in there singing it. * Toniiiight~I'm gonna have myself~A real good time~ * Bohemian Rhapsody happened whenever I told more than one person at a time that I'd changed my middle name to Galileo. ---Come on now! We all know the words! "We are a happy throng, singing and dancing right along, as we all join in the CrowdSong!" ----

CrowningMomentOfAwesome [[redirect:TroperTales/MomentOfAwesome]]

CrowningMomentOfFunny [[redirect:TroperTales/FunnyMoments]]

CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming [[redirect:TroperTales/HeartwarmingMoments]]

CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming2 [[redirect:TroperTales/HeartwarmingMoments2]]

CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming3 [[redirect:TroperTales/HeartwarmingMoments3]]

CrowningMusicOfAwesome * This troper had the privilage of participating in a performance of Sergei Rachmaninov's Piano Concerto #3 in College. to this day, I have not been able to find a recording that matches the emotional response our performance envokes in me. * This troper was having a really bad day, and I felt like my luck couldn't get any worse. Well, after then getting told I have to get a root canal next week, I go home and get on Facebook. Looking on my Wall, my best friend just posted the song "Say Hey(I love you). You have to listen to it to know what I mean, it just completely changed my mood. * I guess this would be more funny than awesome, but somewhere, I saw a couple arguing about something. Cue, "I'm the Only Person Who Takes It Personally" by Breathe Carolina. * This troper mixed the Scott Pilgrim soundtrack, the Terran theme from Starcraft, the Tower of Heaven soundtrack and Red Hot Chilli Peppers. He's still stuck. Help me. Please god, help me!. * How about Crowning Music of Funny? [[Tropers/{{Smerf}} I'm]] at the

gym, resting between sets, when this cute girl sits down at the bench press machine across from me. I think to myself "Hey, she's kinda cute." Cue my iPod on shuffle going to Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it On." She gave me funny looks as I held in the laughter. * Not sure if this goes here, but I hear Video Game Music. In my head. Here's where the strange part comes in. I also hear Video Game Sounds. For example, if someone stops what they're doing, I hear the Super Mario Bros. Pause sound. If someone drops something, I hear the Yoshi sound effect(not the annoying 'YOSHI!' and 'HNNNNNNNNNGH!' in the later games, but the one that sounds like a record scratching.) I could go on... * This troper's [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean first time in bed]] had an MP3 on random shuffle in the background. The song playing? [[TheBeatles Helter Skelter.]] This is now one of my favorite songs. * I am essentially obsessed with music--even if I'm not playing something through my headphones, some song is always running through my head, and half the time I have an urge to sing out loud in public (and I do a lot). My life ''is'' CrowningMusicOfAwesome. ** Same here! * Once this troper was listening to ''Never Gonna Give you Up'' on her ipod, and the back-to-class music blared out, you guessed it, ''Never Gonna Give You Up''. Rick rolled x 2 * This troper and his sister were rocking to some intense music in her car once. Cue me hitting EVERY SINGLE BUTTON on the radio and Louis Armstong's "What A Wonderful World" blasting out the speakers. * Not so much awesome as hysterically appropriate, but when my brother bought his first car (a 20 year old Toyota made cheifly of rust), the first song to come on the radio almost immediately was "Loser" by Beck. It's now the car's theme song. * This Troper's got a great band anecdote about some fanfare she once played for festival. The song on its own was pretty epic, but what really added the awesome to this particular crowning music of awesome is [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome the story behind it]]: While rehearsing one day, one of the percussionists on the Marimba messed up at the very end of the song, loudly shouting "DANG IT!" as soon as it ended without missing a beat. cue everyone in the room laughing their behinds off. The director, ever the comedian, then had all of us band kids replay the ending bars of the song and loudly shout "DANG IT!" at the end. This Troper likes to bring it up on occasion in random band conversation... * I now have a playlist with this exact title. So far only 2 songs have made it on there. "The Fall" by TheProtomen, and the AtopTheFourthWall theme song. ** [[{{lalalei2001}} This troper]] suggests the latter half of Act II by TheProtomen, and most of Act I. if you're into the rockin' sorta songs. ** [[{{Eddurd}} This other troper]] would also suggest ''Won't Get Fooled Again'' by The Who. ''YEEEAAAAAAHHH!!!'' ** [[{{Hopeless Romance}} I'd]] like to suggest "Don't Stop Believein'". One of the most effective power ballads EVER. ** [[{{theburntcheeto}} I]] would like to suggest "Riot" by Three Days Grace and "You're Going Down" by Sick Puppies.

* Probably this fits here... this troper was once playing some [=ADoM=], and finishing out some nasty quest. The next track his audio player chose? "O Fortuna". Cue a feeling of awesomeness for a few seconds. * This troper was involved in the one-act play at school last year. While we were waiting for everyone to show up, one of the guys was listening to his iPod. Suddenly he starts singing along to "Don't Stop Believein'". It happens to be one of my favorite songs, so I joined him. Next thing I knew, EVERYBODY was singing along. That song now carries a bunch of wonderful memories. * Several years ago, [[{{Eddurd}} this troper]] went to [[ irie "Symphony On The Prarie"]] when they were performing Beethoven's 9th. During the 3rd movement (the slow one), I was laying back on my blanket, staring up at the stars. It was almost an out-of-body experience ... the way the music seemed to carry me up until I was drifting through space. Awesome indeed. * Probably comes under another trope, but...I was playing chess against my dad (who is very good at the game). I decided to play with my head rather than my heart and won three of the four games. However, when I won the first one, Johnny Cash's cover of "Danny Boy" was playing on the CD player. I was almost moved to tears (a rare thing from this troper). Ironically, the next game, I was beaten by a foolsmate. [[{{Crowning Moment of Funny}} Everyone was amused.]] ** Same troper from above again. Was reading Mark Simmons Horror movie survival tips and realised that the song I was listening to, "Time Of Dying", suited the part I was reading. I felt a tremble down my spine at the moment I realised. I don't watch horror movies, either... *** Far more appropriate one: whenever I finish a particularly hard English assaignment, I ALWAYS want to sing the very end of Barcelona (the bit where Freddy Mercury sings an ascending scale, followed by the opera singer singing a decending one. Basically the last fourty or so seconds). I only don't do so because it usually happens while in public, but I've been guilty of occationally singing it on the bus. The fact I sang "Barcelona, it was a beautiful horizon" when I first went to Barcelona easily tesifies the song's awesomeness...and the beauty of Barcelona (I'm not joking about that. Easily the best city I've ever visited, although I was surprised by the amount of traffic. But I digress). * In a car trip with a family of four, the original "American Pie" started to play on the radio. This troper sang a few lines, heard her mother sung a few, and her dad piped in as well. At the end of the song, This troper's father mentioned this was the first song that everyone in the car sang along to at some point. Turns out some parts where I thought my dad was singing was actually my brother, who almost "never" sings out loud. * A few years back, right after the release of Star Wars the Revenge of the Sith our headmaster told our school band to play "whatever they wanted" for our 'leadership assembly' - the normal fare plus inspiring leadership talk. So, they played the staff in to the Imperial March. ** MadeOfWin, my friend. You should be proud. * Get on the highway, bring your speed up to 70MPH. Roll down both

front windows, and blast the [=LotR=] version of Requiem For A Dream. The combination of epic music, high speed, and rushing wind is simply sublime. * The music from the [[ first stage of Wily's Fortress]] always made [[JustCallMeNed This Troper]] feel inspired and heroic - like he could do ANYTHING, but he could never describe WHAT about it made him feel that way. Only later did it hit him; you're going up against the most dangerous man in the world - and you're the only one who can stop him. Any other game would have ominous, dangerous-sounding music to show you how much is riding on you coming out alive - and how little chance you have of doing so. Does this game do that? FUCK no! It's driving, inspiring and empowering - it says to you, "You've come this far; it's only a little further! Keep going!" Because that music knows you can do it; it ''believes in you.'' And then he realized - this is probably why that song stands out so much in gamers' minds and memories. Crowning Music of Awesome, with a side order of Crowning Moment of Heartwarming and garnished with Fridge Brilliance. ** [[ Gotta run gotta run now]] * This troper was on a sixthform politics trip to go down to London. Our train got delayed outside London for about half an hour, and we were all getting bored. We started moving again, at which point someone asked where we were. This troper slipped, and pressed his iPod (on a friend's speakers) on, to full volume. The song? London Calling, The Clash. At which point, the guard said "what Joe Strummer said..." * [[{{Tropers/ptitlepgy6ymio}} 0dd1]]: No mock fight is complete without "Techno Syndrome" from MortalKombat, as my friends and I have found. Eventually, the "fight" between my friends got to the point where I started playing [[BennyHill "Yakety Sax"]] instead when it just wouldn't end. ...It's one of those "you had to be there" moments... * This troper was a member of a symphonic band all through middle school, high school, and college. While there are certainly many songs from the many concerts he played in that could count, he is quite sure that absolutely ''nothing'' beats finishing the "last" song of a concert program, letting the audience go into a crazy round of applause as the conductor walks off the stage... and then comes back on the stage to cue "Stars and Stripes Forever". Best encore song ''ever'', and it never fails to bring a smile to my face when I play it. * 0dd1: I've found that listening to BonJovi while playing ''CallOfDuty 4: ModernWarfare'' makes it seem that much more awesome. ** Bon Jovi makes everything more awesome. * [[{{RiL}} This troper]] has fantasized for years about using the [[ Final Fantasy Prologue]] for her bridal processional. She just made good on it. ** [[Tropers/Serperoth This troper]] thinks your mate is a darn lucky person. * [[{{HellmanSabian}} This troper]] discovered Morgan Page by accident on Youtube. I have been hooked on his songs ever since. The first song

I discovered was [[ the longest road.]] I use his songs to relax or unwind throughout my day.(Plus it makes me feel awesome as well!) * DragonForce. No exceptions. * I had a friend in college who used to host giant house parties every weekend. At no less than one point during every party (usually towards the end when it was mostly just the close friends left), they would play Piano Man as loud as possible and everyone would stand together with their arms around each other and sing along. The effect was especially profound at the last party he had just after graduating and before moving away. * This Troper was the only percussionist in her band class last year. [[CrowningMomentofAwesome We got to play Wipeout.]] * When I was in high school, my younger brother and I listened to the radio as I drove us to school every day. On my last day of high school, The Final Countdown by Europe came on our local classic rock station. Cue epic rocking out and feelings of sheer badassery. * Gods Of War by Manowar. Not much more needs to be said. * my bard in my weekly D&D campaign is made of this trope, she carries around several masterwork instruments that give +5 to inspire courage and other bard skills a piece, and has trained several of our hirelings to act as her backup orchestra, once our party got into what seemed like a no win battle with 5 juvinile dragons, their pet basalisks a minotar and a lich, when my bard and our orchestra started playing [[ THIS ]] we steamrolled over them * I saw this guy in concert: Check out the other videos of him on Youtube. His act primarily consists of TV theme songs, show tunes, and Johnny Cash covers, with a few random favorites thrown in, and mimmicking the styles and sounds of the original artists almost perfectly. * This Troper has a playlist for gaming. While playing a game of BF:Vietnam he had it on shuffle (I know that game has awesome music but I have the songs on my playlist anyway) when he's flying a helicopter. It gets shot to hell and I barely manage to survive the landing. I am then jumped by a group of NVA and am stuck fighting them till some freinds in a huey killed them and picked me up to go with them. The whole time the cover of "The Minstrel Boy" from Black Hawk Down is playing. Twas awesome. * This troper played a season of American football in high school. Before the game, everybody had their own special song to get pumped up-- mostly rap, rock, and metal (Kid Cudi, Rage Against The Machine, and Priestess are a few that I remember guys using). Mine? [[StreetFighter Guile's Theme.]] * ''SonicR''. The music alone makes this game the best game ever conceived to this troper, plus the gameplay is pretty wicked too. * This she-Troper has had Sephiroth's Theme from the Advent Children movie as her alarm clock for a few weeks now. * I don't believe I ever lived before that night, getting up in karaoke and leading a ''roomful'' of (admittedly drunken) non-power metal geeks in a rousing rendition of RhapsodyOfFire's

[[ Pride of the Tyrant]]. * I have a friend who occasionally has a show on the public radio station at his college. He's a power metal geek, so it tends to cover everything from {{Metallica}} to {{Rammstein}} to {{Apocalyptica}} and everything in between. He also has a habit of turning up the most incredibly ''[[CrazyAwesome insane]]'' music I've ever heard (Did you know there's such a thing as "pirate metal?" I didn't). But the part that everyone always ends up looking forward to is "What the Hell Did I Just Listen To?", where he plays the craziest metal covers he can possibly find. So far, this has included [[StarWars the Imperial March]], {{Caramelldansen}}, the {{Mario}} theme music, "You Spin Me Round", "The Final Countdown", and the ''BatmanTheAnimatedSeries'' theme. I suspect it's just a matter of time before he gets ahold of one of Crow's Claw's TouhouProject covers. * I was at the dentist's to get a filling, and they were about to numb me. Just as they put the needle in, "Give me Novocaine" from GreenDay's ''AmericanIdiot'' started playing over the speakers in the ceiling. * While playing ''GrandTheftAutoIV'', this troper began a mission to introduce using the in game internet. Upon reaching one of the computer and logging on, the radio began to play Philip Glass' [[ Pruit Igoe]] needless to say he was both [[CrowningMomentofAwesome left in total awe]] and [[CrowningMomentofFunny laughing his ass off]]. ---Head back to the rockin' [[SugarWiki/CrowningMusicOfAwesome main page]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

CruelAndUnusualDeath * After the session were we delivered a [[{{Pathfinder}} Norgorber priest]] to the authorities, one of my partners suggested a way to execute him: tie him to a rock, load it into a trebuchet, and then shoot it in the sea.

Crunchtastic * This troper likes 'Craptastic'. A lot. ** [[{{Cybele}} this troper]] is fond of "craptacular". =D ** This troper prefers "shittacular." * This troper almost always invokes this trope to within an inch of its life.Examples: "Shittastic","Boretastic","Sylaristical"...the list goes on... * This troper calls extremely cute things "cuddly-icious". * This troper likes referring to things that are unhealthy, yet tasty, as "carcino-licious" * This troper has a friend who came up with "humassive." She prefers "humongozoid," personally. ** Hey, I say "humongozoid" too! My late husband was fond of "fuckadonia." Kinda sounds like an exotic country.

* This editor once attempted, with less than satisfactory results, to play the word "Hitlerific" in a [[{{Kwyjibo}} game of Scrabble]]. ** Of course, "Hitleriffic" has TWO Fs! *** A friend of mine who likes offending people came up with ''Holocaustastic'' to describe things. (Hopefully, really bad things.) **** Would something [[IncrediblyLamePun Holocaustic]] be an extreme [[GeniusBonus chemical base?]] * As far as can be determined, the term "[[{{squick}} squicktastic]]" originated here on this Wiki, but the details of who to give credit to have apparently been lost to time. ** This Wiki apparently also originated the term "toyetic". *** ''This very wiki'' has information within it that should show otherwise. * And here I tend to describe things in terms of "ecks dee/equis de" and "lolastic". * This troper uses "craptastic" a lot. He also sometimes uses stranger ones such as "doomtastic" "legiontastic" and "fuckariffic". He's also very fond of using "absotively" (a portmanteau of absolutely and positively). ** Absotively poselutely! * This troper once received a "ninja dictionary" which was basically a list of these, featuring such gems as "nintastic" (fantastic) and "ninstruction worker" (construction worker). * This troper belongs to a small group of ''TheLegendOfZelda'' roleplayers. She's gotten them all to refer to exceptional things concerning the character of Ganondorf as "Ganonical." ** You've just given [[Tropers/{{JET73L}} This Troper]] a fun new word for non-GannonBanned Zelda subjects! * [[{{Seneca}} This troper]] is rather fond of "excellotastic". * [[BooBooBob This Troper]] sometimes refers to himself as "Boblivious". ** My husband (also a Bob) just got a new nickname. *** So glad I could assist. * This troper spontanteously coined the word "rispankulous" to describe the cleavage diplayed by Domino in ''WolverineAndTheXMen'', without even considering the [[FreudWasRight Freudian implications of that particular substitution]]. * This troper coined the term "Roxalicious" among her cousins during a session of KingdomHearts II for hot video game characters. In the same vein, they made "Kyotastic" for hot anime characters. * [[ManJusticeLeague This troper]] has coined "horriblearious" (horrible + hilarious) for referring to jokes that [[DeadBabyComedy really shouldn't be funny]] but [[CrossesTheLineTwice crack you up anyway.]] * Everythin's better with -ness on the end - Awesomeness! * This troper adds the "-ish" modifier to the end of absolutes. "[[OnlyMostlyDead Deadish]]" being most common. * One that's seen an odd amount of popularity - beyond "ridiculous" lies "redonkulous". * [[ThirtyTwoFootsteps This troper]] and his friends will sometimes say "snerg" or "schnerg" as a generic expression of frustration. * This troper likes to add sauce to the end of words. Awesomesauce.

Doomsauce. Noobsauce. Weaksauce. Holocaustsauce. Squicksauce. >.> * Unfortunate implications in works of fiction that employ tropes such as RapeIsLove are often found to be "rapetastic" by this troper. * Probably doesn't fit here, but I made up my own word a while ago, for when you're asleep when someone is talking to you and you wake up.Basically a short form of "Wait,what did you say? I was asleep." That word is "edch'b'wa?" Pronounced exactly the way it's spelt. * This troper has a classmate who made up a word, "custilionistic," that supposedly means "has big feet." * [[NotSoBadassLongcoat This troper]] usually calls things that are funny enough to make one burst (or asphyxiate) from laughter "killarious". * This troper recently came up with 'Spiffyful'. It was immediately declared the most pointless word ever. * [[DFarrey This troper]] once used the word "Contabulisticly." It just rolled off his tongue and sounded like a word at the time. It has come to mean "completely, to a T, or being able to match all the listed qualities of X." * [[MalachiteDragon This Troper]] has a talent for making up swear words off the top of his head, on command. Memorable ones include--->Assnuggets --->Assmonkeys --->Buttbiscuits --->Fuck the fucking fuckers! --->Snazzin' Frazzin' <object> * I use the word Dumbassosity. Example ''"He's practically radiating with dumbassosity"'' * This troper has "Flurgalschnag", which is to the English language what the value of X is to math such that the definition of Flurgalschnag in the sentence "I flurgalschnagged that girl" is the similar to the value of X in the equation Y = 4X. * This troper has a friend who occasionally describes things as 'Sexcellent' * This troper tends to add 'zors' to words, e.g, [[MadeOfWin winzors]], [[VerbalTic meepzors]], [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesomezors]], [[EpicFail failzors]], etc. * This troper has a friend who can't parse abbreviations. We can be having a long, involved conversation about something with a multi-word title -- just as a random example, say, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" -and if I try to abbreviate it, he'll ask me what "RotLA" is. I refer to him as "abbrevilexic". * AngryScientist was the creator of "failwhale", before {{Twitter}} stole it. He also invented "fudgetaculiciousness" and "plagiariffic", the latter used to describe {{Twitter}}'s use of his greatest work. * My brother and some of his friends made a pun on "Excellent" and "Excrement." One professor pointed out a similar pun in German! * This Troper does this several times a day. His favorites are "Orgasmatastic" and "Magitastical". And in times of sarcasm, "Specialriffic". * Tropers/{{Excel-2011}}: ** Disinflectant ** Prefectionist

** (Im)posstible ** Horrorble ** Reasonble ** [[UsefulNotes/{{DNA}} D&A]] ** [[{{CNN}} C&N]] ** Simular ** Chestapeake (a city in Virginia) ** Vidial games ** Misunderestimate ** Bunanas ** Constequences ** Musics ** Algeber ** Rememberize ** Teeths ** Hitleristic ** [[DeadpanSnarker "I only had to do it]] [[PrecisionFStrike fuckthousand times."]] * This troper is fond of "absitively posilutely" ---Return to the page {{Crunchtastic}} - it's {{troperiffic}}! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

CrutchCharacter * Several players on my secondary school hockey team were crutch characters in the long run. When the team started and most of us were new to the sport, there were a few with a bit of previous experience seemed unstoppable (we used to compare our star midfielder to [[TheMatrix Neo]], seriously) and were universally regarded as indispensable members of the team. Perhaps partially because of that status (or because they'd already had the few years of improvement due to most casual players) they never really improved in later years, and quickly became bench warmers - several even quit. I'm sure plenty of other school teams have had the same thing happen. * This troper *is* a CrutchCharacter in the game of Dance Dance Revolution. Within 2 years, I've went from never having heard of the game to being ranked top 10 in North American and top 100 in the world (using Konami's official internet ranking). I suspect (though cannot prove) that I was the number one player in my city, if not my province. In the following 5 years, at least 20 of my peers from my same city have surpassed me. * For the longest time, this troper was relying on his Crystal Beast/Rainbow Deck alot when he was starting out Yugioh, until they later proved to be this trope due to his incompetence, then he learned about the wonderful world of [[GameBreaker SynchroMonsters]] and Stardust Dragon


* [[Tropers/KyleSB This troper]] knows someone who worships volcanoes. Apparently, Volcanicism is the worship of volcanoes, and you can solve any problem by throwing people into the Volcano. If there is a Jerkass running rampant, throw him into the volcano. If there was a witness, throw them in too. If you get caught, you can throw a hostage into a volcano, and eventually, if you believed you have sinned to much and became a problem, you can throw yourself into the volcano, and in this instance, you can't go to hell for suicide, seeing how you died as an offering to the Volcano, you can even throw a volcano into a volcano to stop the volcano from erupting, and as long as you continue to give offerings to the volcano, the world will never end. * [[{{Tropers/Ungulateman}} This troper]] mentioned this trope at random ina social environment, and was then accused as being part of some retarded cult which apparently worshipped dragons and gemstones or something. Worrying.

CuddleBug * [[{{EPIC}} This Troper]]. Apart from being a GentleGiant {{Yandere}}, hugs and chest-cries are what I do best--and as such, LOOOVE recieving them. * One of my friends is such a cuddle bug she actually went through hugging withdrawls after being sick out of school for two days and not being allowed to hug anyone the first day she got back, in case she was still contagious. * I am, but only towards my best friend. I hate touching and being touched by anyone else. * I am an Asexual, but my friends commonly call me a cuddle-slut. I use the fact that I won't come on to anyone to great effect, and manage to snuggle with all but the most uptight of my friends, female and male alike. * Most of the anime/cosplay community where I live seems to be this. A hug is the standard greeting. :3 * My entire circle of friends can't ever seem to stop hugging each other. Group hug! * This tropette and her boyfriend. If we're not cuddling with each other, we'll cuddle with someone else. We're just that affectionate * This Troper would count as well, and the majority of her friends. It's gotten her into trouble now and then with people assuming she's interested in them in a... different... way, when she sees them as friends or [[{{Nakama}} siblings]]. * A certain female friend of mine and me would always snuggle close when we watched movies together. Now technically i would probably be much more of a cuddle bug then just this if i had more opportunities, but shes the only friend i felt i could do it with without freaking them out * It's a RunningGag with me that I'll occasionally try to invoke HoYay (even though I am bisexual) by hugging other guys at random while quoting [[SweetBroAndHellaJeff the Bro Hug Bump comic]]. It's just for laughs, though.

CueCullen [[redirect:TroperTales/AndTheFandomRejoiced]]

CueTheFlyingPigs * When Santa Fe, Texas's high school football team went varsity for the first time in 1993, a local reporter claimed that the team would make playoffs "when pigs fly." Cue 2003. Indians make playoffs. Small rubber pigs were passed out throughout the school, and the man that wrote the editorial was sent one himself. The pigs can still be seen throughout the school today (as of 2010). * In [[NoExportForYou Europe]], the [[PlayStationNetwork list of PSOne classics]] (without counting [[MetalGear Metal Gear Solid]] and [[FinalFantasyVII some]] [[FinalFantasyVIII other]] [[CrashBandicoot noteworthy]] [[{{Rayman}} exceptions]]) is, well, [[UnderStatement quite poor]]. In a forum, a topic concerning the possible release of [[SpyroTheDragon some]] [[{{Ehrgeiz}} important]] [[TombRaider missing]] [[{{Tekken}} entries]] saw a user's post, among the answers, that was exactly this trope. While I thought that was pessimistic at first, [[TakeThat now I know that, boy, he was damn right.]] * I am a Mac guy, self proclaimed fanboi, and have recently decided to Build a PC for gaming. CueTheFlyingPigs * Back in 2003, my Dad said that he'd get me a Palm Pilot or similar product "when pigs fly over a frozen hell, and all of the world's religious leaders agree about what it means" (this has since become my family's standard variation of this trope). Fast forward to October of 2010, and he buys me a Palm Pre and my sister a Palm Pixi. * This troper lives in a simply gods-awful, economically depressed, terrible place to live (why? College.) He intends to move away the moment the ink's dry on his degree. Folks around here give him a hard time about "it's hard to be happy when you've convinced yourself that you live in hell." Said this troper: "Now that is absolutely not true. I know I don't live in Hell because it's been a bloody awful cold winter and last I checked, there was not a string of women lined up around the block to sleep with me." * One OriginalCharacter that I use in a [[{{Pokemon}} Pokémon]] RP once said that she'd never let anyone have a misconception about her heterosexuality until they beat the Elite Four and the Champion 151 times with a team of Level 100 [[JokeCharacter Caterpie]], then took [[OlympusMons Mewtwo]], one of the Caterpie, and a [[GameBreakingBugs Level 0]] [[TheMissingno Missingno.]] to Bill who would let the player into his secret garden where they would find her in a compromising, possibly lesbian position[[hottip:*:Yes, it was a parody of the UrbanLegendOfZelda found on long-lost Geocities sites during the fad surrounding PokemonRedAndBlue.]]. The very next night? Well, lets just say the Caterpie were logged into the Hall of Fame for the 151st time as the character in question engaged in some FauxYay for the [[GirlOnGirlIsHot enjoyment]] of the other girl's fiancee. * A story told in Russian universities has a theory of probability professor explaining the concept of zero probability by saying that "it is the probability of a white horse entering this room right now"

during his first lecture every year. [[TemptingFate He kept it up]] until a group of senior students had actually acquired a white horse, smuggled it to the lecture room door, where he was giving yet another opening lecture, waited for him to say the line and... cue the white horse! The professor is said to have changed the example to describe near-zero probability since that incident, just in case. ** CrowningMomentOfFunny if anything. Where did they get the horse anyway? ---Pigs will fly and hell will freeze over as you go back to CueTheFlyingPigs. ----

CuffsOffRubWrists * Having been arrested, this troper can attest to poorly fitted handcuffs rubbing, and when removed rubbing the wrists to allow circulation is not unusual. * Having been handcuffed to a chair before (long story), this troper can attest that an hour with your hands cuffed behind your back will leave you with sore wrists and unsightly red marks, both of which can be somewhat alleviated by rubbing your wrists. * This troper is taking classes in Law Enforcement and after being cuffed fifty times a day in the space of two hours... very quickly learned to wrap my wrists when the instructer says to get the cuffs out. * This troper has heard that when massaging an injured area, the stimulus from the massage reaches the brain first (or something to that effect), so rubbing your wrists after being bound makes sense. ** This was brought up in a class taken by this troper. See: [[ te_control&rct=j&q=gate+control+theory+pain&usg=AFQjCNH3CF3fz38jWLVhU1 oC_C0QpMyiyw&sa=X&ei=Nw0vTcjXGIP78AbvyZHtCA&ved=0CDwQygQ&cad=rja Gate Control]] theory of pain. * This troper had played a part in a Shakespeare play (''Twelfth Night''), in which he was arrested and had his hands bound. The end scene had various characters on stage at the same time, but without lines, so everyone had to come up with an action to occupy themselves with. Having just been released from bondage, guess what this troper did? * This Tropette has been cuffed many times for....reasons we'll not get into in detail but you can use your imagination, when you're being suspended from the ceiling for a few hours at a time, the cuffs you're wearing need to be on pretty tight, and it does tend to cut off circulation so when you're let loose the first thing you do of course is Cuffs Off Rubs Wrists ----


* [[{{Tropers/Erkhyan}} I am a Malagasy citizen]] of Malagasy, French and Gujarati descent. I rarely if ever speak of these three cultures in a positive way. Actually, I even quite often have to tone down the scathing critique... * [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} This troper]] is a [[{{AcceptableEthnicTargets}} White Australian]] native to Gippsland, a regional area of Victoria [[{{PlanetOfHats}} known for being populated with mostly bogans]]...[[{{MySpeciesDothProtestTooMuch}} and yet he is very far from being a bogan]], in being able to speak English well as well as having an avid interest in Asian cultures (as well as wanting to at least speak passable Japanese or Mandarin one day). Combine that with that he tends to be quite a lot smarter than most of the others, as well as a good chunk of AllOfTheOtherReindeer [[{{BerserkButton}} in his direction...]] he is prone to wishing he was actually Japanese or Chinese (maybe the former...) * This troper cringes almost every day for being Korean. I don't exactly consider myself an American though, so I'm more of a "citizen of the world" type of person. * This troper is Mexican, and if I say what I really think about my county, it would be considered "hate speech"; that's all I'm gonna say... * Every time this American troper tries to suck it up and defend her country in an argument, a gang of flavor-two [[EagleLand Eaglelanders]] come out of goddamn nowhere and [[RuinedForever ruin everything forever]]. It's just not worth it anymore. ** They are trolls. I know this because I have a German cousin who does this for kicks. * This Russian troper (of Korean, German and Russian descent) mostly fits the description of the intelligentsia given in the second sentence of the main article's "The Cringe in Russia" section (incidentally, I am the one who wrote the third paragraph of said section; I am not sure if I did a good job at concealing my cringe when writing it). I say "mostly", because most of the time I find the "civilized, democratic and tolerant West" only marginally better. Neither do I gush about "the East", "the Global South" or whatever the heck is supposed to be the opposite of "the West". I guess I just don't like humanity all that much. ** No, it's not you. It's the fact that the media won't let people let go of the image that Russia is the third worst hell-hole in the world, right after Africa and South America. You really shouldn't care about following any other countries. I think we're all just trying to get our own shit together, and putting on a tough front. *** What do you mean, it's not me? And I am not sure what kind of media you are talking about, but I had spent most of my childhood and teenage years outside Russia, following both Russian and foreign media, and my view of Russia used to be quite positive - that it had its issues, but progress was being made in addressing them and the future looked quite bright. In fact I was somewhat nationalistic in my early teens (despite the fact that I'm not a "pure-blooded Russian"), and by my late teens I had become a more conventional "love the country, hate the government" type. And then my family moved back to Russia and it took less than a year of experiencing the True Russia

for me to start doubting the first part of that statement. Also, as I implied in my previous post, I couldn't care less about "following any other countries" - I believe that emulating other countries politically is not particularly desirable (as a libertarian I find the political systems of all modern states detestable, to varying degrees), while emulating them culturally on a nationwide scale is simply impossible. * This trope is so prevalent in [[ my home country]] that it's actually one of the many reasons why [[MySpeciesDothProtestTooMuch I reconsidered]] working as a [[StrawmanNewsMedia journalist]]: [[StrawmanPolitical they're]] split between [[UsefulNotes/MisplacedNationalism rabid nationalists]] [[HumansAreBastards who think that the government is an evil institution]] [[TruthInTelevision that]] [[StrawmanPolitical should be fed to the dogs]] and [[TheQuisling "anti-patriots"]] who consider [[MySpeciesDothProtestTooMuch their backwards nation and nationality]] as an [[Wangst embarrassment to themselves and the region]], citing [[AlwaysSomeoneBetter the success]] of their [[BlatantLies more liberal]], [[PeoplesRepublicOfTyranny democratic]], and [[DidNotDoTheResearch economically and politically stable]] [[SmallReferencePools neighbors]] as proof of this. That most of these people are [[ScrewPolitenessImASenior veteran]] [[SlobsVersusSnobs intelligentsia]] who don't [[TotallyRadical know]] what an [[ Internet troll]] is, let alone being able to spot one when they see one, is not very comforting. I'm more [[CulturalCringe embarrassed]] of [[BoomerangBigot them]] than [[ForeignQueasine any]] [[CrapsaccharineWorld other]] [[StrawDystopia aspect]] of my [[HolidayInCambodia country]]. Also, either camp is prone to neglecting the [[HumansAreBastards Humans are bastards]] trope; if it's bad, it [[CriticalResearchFailure only happens in the Philippines]].

Eugh, just go back to CulturalCringe and don't even notice what my passport actually says...

CulturePolice * Not all religious schools have these rules for such extreme Culture Police reasons. [[Tropers/DragonRanger This Troper]] attended one that had rules banning drinking and dancing (even while home on break), but it was understood that such extremes were less about "Christian" doctrine and more a move to avoid alienating Bible Belt parents. We also understood that what they actually disapproved of was clubbing and the like; there's a world of difference between going out to a nightclub and a little wine and dancing at a wedding reception. * Two words...DeviantART. I see a lot of people suggest outright ''banning'' art genres they do not like on basis of "It's not art". I've also seen a lot of people suggest "Quality control" to keep the "crappy art" except they suggest banning ''entire'' genres on basis of

"ItsPopularNowItSucks" or "I hate this artstyle". Anime, Fan Art, and photographs get this a ''lot''. ** Particularly nudes.

CunningLinguist * I learn Spanish, Mandarin, Latin and Ancient Greek at school; and I want to learn Japanese and Russian as well. I also have an Albanian Kosovan father, but I currently know about 7 words in Albanian. * This troper wants to be a linguist when she grows up (currently in 10th grade). My Spanish is shaky and my French is basic, but I'm only in Spanish 3 and French 2 so I have a long way to go. I actually ranked 18th in the nation for my level in French, so things could be looking up. I also have German and Russian textbooks lying around that are begging to be put to use. I taught myself Cyrillic and basic verb conjugations in Russian and I taught myself present and both past tenses in German, but laziness and ADD struck and I never really achieved any proficiency in them. * This troper has some prior experience with German, Spanish, Russian and Japanese outside of his current college setting. I fully intend to become fluent in at least three of them, in addition to my native English. * [[{{Cosman246}} This troper]]'s mother tongue ''was'' Hindi, but forgot it when learning English. He then tried relearning it (mixed success). Now he is learning Japanese, Latin, and is trying to learn other languages, even create a conlang.... * This troper's mother language is Greek, with VERY good skill in English and fluency in German and is currently learning Japanese. His plans include Russian and Latin. * This troper speaks English natively, and is fluent in Japanese. If nothing else, he wants to improve his horrendous Spanish. * [[Discworld/NightWatch Veritas, Justitia, Libertas, Amor aequo preto et ovum durmum excotum!]] * [[JET73L This troper]] speaks English natively, was fluent but is now rusty in Mexican Spanish, has a small amount of practice in Castillian Spanish and some in German, is practicing French and Japanese (but really needs a class to [[RidiculousProcrastinator keep]] [[CloudcuckooLander focused]]), and understands much but speaks very little of Italian (and half of what the troper does speak is Sicilian or Americanized Italian). The knowledge is there to puzzle out most Latin and some Greek, and the troper can speak YiddishAsASecondLanguage but not very much. In short, the troper could be described as a [[JackOfAllTrades jack (or 3/6/7/other low-tomiddling numbers) of many languages]], an [[CunningLinguist ace]] [[GrammarNazi in]] one (unless you count SeparatedByACommonLanguage, in which case the troper is an ace in two or [[TVTropesWillRuinYourVocabulary three]]). * ThisTroper also aims to be a JackOfAllTrades CunningLinguist, but is also a RidiculousProcrastinator. Among them he speaks English, French, Spanish, Mandarin Chinese, Russian and Arabic, most of them badly. He also wants to learn German, Japanese, Hindi/Urdu and Portuguese ... eventually.

* This Tropette's native language is Finnish, but I also speak English, Swedish (being my country's second official language) and German. And oh boy, they are nothing but a start, I'm waiting for my French and Japanese classes to start next fall. And if I have enough time in the middle of all that, I guess I'll still enroll myself to Spanish class. * [[{{Trkzsoup}} This troper]] speaks American English natively and knows decent Mexican Spanish (a few years of not studying have made me rusty). In addition to those, I'm slowly learning Italian, German and Portuguese, with bits and pieces of French that I've randomly picked up thrown in for good measure. When out of the country, I tend to find myself speaking some hybridized bastard language I generally call "Spanglitalian." Cue very confused looks from Mexican tour guides and other foreign tourists. * Fluent in English, Swedish, and Icelandic, passable in Basque, German, Spanish, and French, and I know enough to read and get by in Russian, Finnish, and Hebrew. * Least impressive of this whole page, I know Spanish and English... I can however, understand (if spoken slowly) French, Italian and Portuguese :). * [[{{Tropers/AmeliaPond}} My]] native languange is American English, but since I grew up in a ghetto I have native-level fluency in Mexican Spanish as well. I'm fluent in Standard Japanese and Mandarin Chinese too, but not at the native-level. And I'm passable in French and German thanks to high school courses. Being a blue-eyed blonde, I love the looks I get on campus from passers-by when they see me in the cafeteria, chatting in Mandarin with my friends Shu Yi, Dong Cheng, and Xia Lan (Taiwanese exchange students). * I may only speak English fluently, but I have a tongue ala [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Gene Simmons]]. * British Born Chinese troper speaks English and Mandarin as first languages, moved to Spain as a child (now fluent in Spanish) and later began taking Latin and French at school. I'm also self-taught in Romanian just because I like the way the language sounds. * [[{{Tropers/Betterthanstrawberry}} This troper]]'s Arabic-speaking ability is barely enough for an average everyday conversation, but amusingly enough, he's better than a friend who is of Syrian descent. * [[Tropers/SirPsychoSexy This troper]] is fluent in German, Japanese, and Spanish, and knows a smattering of Brazilian Portuguese from a ''Portuguese for Spanish Speakers'' class he took in grad school. All these languages he [[MomentOfAwesome learned in school]] (Spanish: started in junior high; Japanese: started as an undergrad; German: picked up in grad school), since his entire family ([[CaptainObvious save him]]) is monolingual in English. Plus he's been [[MistakenNationality mistaken for]] a Spaniard ('''in Spain!''') and a Japanese ([[FridgeLogic even though he's]] [[PaleSkinnedBrunette whiter]] [[ButNotTooWhite than sour cream]]) because of his language abilities. * This Tropers mother-tongue is Turkish but I live in Denmark and grew up with both Danish (though I live near Sweden and... Yeah you get the idea...), Turkish (some Turkish-Kurdish to that from my dad), English (from my step mother who didn't speak danish and school), French

(again from my stepmother), German(5 years in school) and Spanish (limited because I only had it for 3 years on A-level). Sounds good? I can honestly say that my lingual abilities are completely useless. Cheers. * This troper is currently fluent in Faroese, Danish and English, and has been learning German for a year. She understands Swedish and Norwegian fairly well, due to them being mutually intelligible with Danish, and she understands written Icelandic fairly well too. She's extremely interested in linguistics and is currently trying to learn Russian. ----* Return to CunningLinguist? * ¿Le gustarÃa a usted volver a CunningLinguist? * Zurückkehren zu CunningLinguist? * Gå tilbage til CunningLinguist? * Gå tilbake til CunningLinguist? * Gå tillbaka till CunningLinguist? * &#1042;&#1099; &#1074;&#1086;&#1079;&#1074;&#1088;&#1072;&#1097;&#1072;e&#1090;e &#1074; CunningLinguist? * Terugkeren naar CunningLinguist? * Retourner à CunningLinguist? * Voltar a CunningLinguist? * &#1567;CunningLinguist &#1607;&#1604; &#1578;&#1585;&#1610;&#1583; &#1575;&#1604;&#1593;&#1608;&#1583;&#1577; &#1573;&#1604;&#1609; * Uyafune ukuhambile kwa[[CunningLinguist Cunning Linguist?]] * &#917;&#960;&#953;&#963;&#964;&#961;&#941;&#968;&#964;&#949; &#963;&#964;&#959; CunningLinguist? * Eturn-ray o-tay [[CunningLinguist Unning-cay Inguist-lay]]? * Gusto mo bang bumalik sa CunningLinguist? * Dychwelyd i'r [[CunningLinguist ieithydd cyfrwys]]? * Recedisne ad [[CunningLinguist litteratorem callidum]]? * &#1492;&#1488;&#1514;&#1512; &#1492;&#1494;&#1492; &#1500;&#1488; &#1502;&#1488;&#1508;&#1513;&#1512; &#1511;&#1497;&#1513;&#1493;&#1512;&#1497;&#1501; &#1489;&#1506;&#1489;&#1512;&#1497;&#1514;, &#1488;&#1489;&#1500; &#1514;&#1495;&#1494;&#1493;&#1512; (&#1488;&#1493; &#1514;&#1495;&#1494;&#1512;&#1497;, &#1488;&#1501; &#1497;&#1513; &#1489;&#1504;&#1493;&#1514; &#1489;&#1488;&#1497;&#1504;&#1496;&#1512;&#1504;&#1496;) &#1500;&#1511;&#1496;&#1506; &#1492;&#1494;&#1492; &#1513;&#1502;&#1491;&#1489;&#1512;&#1497;&#1501; &#1506;&#1500; &#1513;&#1508;&#1493;&#1514;. CunningLinguist * CunningLinguist [&#23380;&#28369;(&#12371;&#12358;&#12363;&#12388;)&#12394;&#35328;&#3 5486;&#23398;&#32773;]&#12395;&#36820;&#12387;&#12390;&#12367;&#12428; &#12414;&#12379;&#12435;&#12363;&#12290; * Palataanko sivulle CunningLinguist? * &#1042;&#1077;&#1088;&#1085;&#1091;&#1090;&#1100;&#1089;&#1103; &#1082; CunningLinguist? * Esce vuleu onzanen ad CunningLinguist? * Atgriezties uz CunningLinguist?

* Terug naar CunningLinguist? * Truk noa CunningLinguist? (Cunning Linguists feel free to add or edit translations) ---<<|TroperTales|>>

CupHolders [[AC:TroperTales]] ---* In a [=DnD=] game the Troper Participated in, a "used wagon" salesman in a town was pitching a wagon that featured six "beerstein holders." * This Troper's wife just bought a car. A subcompact. With ''10'' cup holders. ** [[RuleofCool WOW.]] ** Damn, that's impressive. * This Troper's brother has a very nice car with no CupHolders. His sister has put it in TheAlledgedCar territory because of this. * A mild subversion in my case: Nobody drinks anything in my car. * This troper's English cousin (my aunt moved there shortly after highschool) didn't understand our American obsession with cup holders in our cars. Then she moved here and bought a car. NOW she gets it. ** By the way, the troper would like to make the obvious innuendo about holding cups. Hurr hurr hurr. * Whenever this troper writes about vehicles, either the narrator or one of the characters will say something about cup holders, even on things like tanks and fighter jets. ---Take your vehicle of choice (with enough cup holders for your coffee, beer, energy drinks, soda, and whatever else) back to CupHolders. ----

CursedWithAwesome * Having big boobs, people! Sure, they are cool, but you get a lot of trouble finding bras your size and "supportive" enough, sometimes to the point of having to use two at once to keep them in place. They are also annoying when you want to go running... ** [[CrossesTheLineTwice Maybe you could get a guy to hold them for you while running with you...]] * I have to exercise, and strenuously. Otherwise within one or two days, I start going insane. Literally. In other words, I am cursed to always push myself to become physically stronger otherwise I lose my sanity. And it's genetic. * I was always able to get money when needed, strangely enough, someone else always needed it more. In other words, I always had enough money to give to somebody else. * I have no sense of smell. This sucks, unless you live in a family where farting is a common occurrence. ** Given that taste is strongly linked to smell, this can also be

BlessedWithSuck. * This troper had a few people who tried to break her down. Repeatedly. And it didn't work, so now she just has that bit of confidence. [[CloudCuckooLander *blows raspberry*]] * You think being tall and having [[ShesGotLegs super-long, toned legs]] as a woman is awesome? Yes, in some situations, but good luck finding trousers! ** Something like that happened to this troper. It's awesome to have a 100cm butt...except for the little detail that you can't buy underwear without blushing so hard that the employee asks me if I'm okay. And, oh! I forgot to mention that I'm not even an adult. *** Well, perhaps you could get your boyfriend to buy it for you! Unless you don't have a boyfriend, in which case it shouldn't be too difficult for you to get one... [[FridgeLogic well, unless the issue is that you don't want one, that is]]... * I have terrible eyesight so I wear glasses. With glasses my eyesight is better than that of normal people. * I'm dyslexic. Now, the most commonly known symptom of dyslexia is "can't read or write properly". Well, that's ''normally'' the case, but I only show the two lesser-known symptoms (problems reading analogue clocks/can't tell left from right). Why? I found reading too hard and ''learnt to read in a totally different way to almost everyone else in the world'', so that I can read just fine - only, I read fast. Very fast. As in, in a period of time where most people my age can read five books, I can read ''twenty-six''. I have a tendancy to write quickly too, so I do make a lot of typos - but I learnt to spot typos automatically when I was a child, so I automatically know if someone has spelt something wrong! Yes, I'm a walking Word processor/scanner - and all because I'm dyslexic! ** "Tendancy"? * I'm smart. Genius-level IQ. I'm in Mensa. Do I tell ''anyone'' this at work? No. I work a blue-collar job. You could call me an [[AlmightyJanitor almighty front desk attendant]]. I only hold an associates degree. I don't want to finish college, I like what I do and I'm happy - Lots of time to read in my job. However I can't say I'm smart, though lots of people point it out. People would think I'm lording it over them. My managers will think I'm vying for their jobs. I get barraged with questions about why aren't I a college professor, and I should go to college. I'll volunteer some bit of info about physics or something obscure and get asked "How would you even know that?" So I like being smart and all, but it's a bit of a curse, too. * Things rarely get to me. I almost never cry at sad movies, and I am always calm during difficult situations. I never feel worried when my mom is sick or when we have financial difficulties, allowing me to think more clearly than she does in such situations. I sometimes wonder if something is wrong with me and my mother once accused me of being a sociopath. * I'm tall as well. I wouldn't want to be short. But the Curse side is 1) joint pain from growing too fast; 2) hitting my head; 3) I currently live [[HongKong where it's impossible]] to get clothes my size; and 4) I would look like a {{lolicon}} with most women. Still, it's nice being able to see over the crowd.

** I should probably note that to the locals, being 6'6" and having BlueEyes falls under FreakyIsCool. ** Being tall in general is absolutely CursedWithAwesome. Everyone wants you to get things off the high shelf for them, but they won't get things off the low shelves for you! You hear "Wow, I wish I were tall!" but sitting at picnic tables and banging your head off chandeliers and low ceiling beams is no fun, trust me. * I have poor eyesight, but learned to read without glasses before I got some, by learning to recognise the letters from the lumpy blurs that I see. Because of this I'm now unable to read with glasses, and have to ''take them off'' if I want to read something because without them I read too quickly. * I am disturbingly intelegent, and this has alienated me from those around me, though this part I view as a blessing, but the fact that I am always pushed to use my knowledge to help people is a curse as I don't like people ** "Intelegent"? Not to mention you need a semicolon after "blessing". * My family has a history of heart disease. Not to mention that I've recently just developed Acid Reflux. Doctor orders me to not smoke, nor drink coffee, tea or alcohol. Also I have to keep a strict regimen for exercise or I will die young, '''period.''' --->Let me get this straight. I have to be fit as fuck or else I won't be able to see my grandkids? --->Uh...yes. --->BEST. CURSE. EVER. * I have perhaps a mild instance of OCD in which being late for anything even by a few minutes can cause me to freak out. Even close calls are too much even if it's not important, pulling up to a movie theater at 5 minutes before start time can make me start sweating even though it'll at worse mean missing a trailer or two. It's not fun to deal with, but it has made me a very dependable and reliable employee and shields against the even more stressful situation of just being only a tardy or two away from being fired. * [[Tropers/{{Tandra88}} I]] have a small chest and I'm short. These are both very good because A) I can sneak into events and the movie theater as a child, and more often than not, can get in for free, or a way cheaper price than I would've and B) I'm way younger than I look. * For me (mild ASD, not Aspergers troper) it's ** I can read and take information very damn well, but I need stuff repeated in order to listen as I would get lost in information overload. Sometimes it's the inverse. ** I am my own [[DeadpanSnarker snarky critic]] to myself. That is, it takes me 20-30 minutes to get stuff (even something as simple as a Wiki entry) written down because I ponder whether what I'm writing is worth a shit. Also, not everything I wanted to get out gets written. On the plus side, what I've written down is labelled excellent by my peers, I can [[GrammarNazi catch grammar mistakes easily.]] ** [[BirthmarkOfDestiny My birthmark.]] Gives me some ego at the cost of writer's cramp as it affected my writing position. ** I know geography pretty stellarly basically since the first time I saw the globe, which is correlative to my desire to explore. Well, 1) I never had the chance to leave the Americas and 2) that made for one

easy, boring geography class in the eighth grade. On the plus side, it's basically a free high school credit, and the geography teacher was awesome! * This troper has an IQ of 145. She is also The Chessmaster and is only in high school so she can observe the teenager's behavior patterns. This is made of win/suck because she never has anything to do other than creepily watch people. ----

Life sucks when you're CursedWithAwesome. But at least it sucks ''awesomely''. ----

CurseOfTheAncients * As a real life example, this troper's grandmother regularly says, "Well, foot!" when she's angry. This troper also generally uses the phrase "dagnabbit" unless driving. * This troper's mother's epithet of choice was "Oh, sugar!" The closest she ever came to blasphemy could be rendered as "Gee Zeus". * This troper's Spanish teacher, a bit eccentric anyway, often said "aww, sugar" and "cheese and rice!" Similarly, this troper's father says "dadgummit" and generally swears like Ralphie's father on AChristmasStory, and this troper says "dear Zeus!" * 'Ohhhhhhhdeararceus.' This troper has used the name for the God of all Pokemon, as her parents have forbidden her to say 'Oh my God!' Other phrases include 'Oh Arceus...' and, her personal favorite, 'HOLY ARCEUS CRUD!' * [[{{Mysterynovelist}} This troper]] has a whole ''list'' of these. The most common are: ** Holy shittake sauce! (this troper's) ** Cheese and rice! (this troper's friend from the TRIO program) ** Oh, fudgeburgers! (an inside joke between this troper and her friends) * This troper has recently picked up "buggeration", "Sweet Mercury" and "schlock". They are often incorporated into her over-the-top FakeBrit routine. * This troper favours [[{{Discworld}} "Well, I'll be mogadored!"]], "bugger, blast and damn", and now, thanks to ''Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series'' can occasionally be found using "what in the name of buggery?" ** Just so you know, "bugger" does ''not'' sound like this in Britain - it's a fairly offensive swearword meaning "to have anal sex with". TheMoreYouKnow! * [[{{SerialExperimentsLain}} "Lain preserve me!"]] [[{{Sneebs}} I]] find it's such an excellent curse to utter if you're exasperated and don't wish to offend your religious friends.. * [[MalachiteDragon My]] parents, when I was younger (well, to be more precise, my Catholic mother; my atheist dad didn't give a shit) tried to forbid me from swearing "Jesus Christ" or generally taking the Lord's name in vain. The problem was, I grew up Atheist... Guess what

my favorite swears are! * "Oh! For the Love of Mike!" and "Sweet Mary O'Reilly". Don't ask me why. ** [[BurnNotice Is that you, Sam?]] * [[DeltaOne This Troper]] tends to swear either in Xhosa or [[FireFly a kind of Chinese]]. * This troper picked up "Oh, shoes" from her grandmother, and typically uses "Fuzzbuckets" or "Fragwagons" as acceptable curses around her husband's Mormon family. * "By Jove!" "Gah! Blast it!" "Curse this infernal X!" "Begone, wicked scum!" * Not [[BTIsaac my]] grandpa. He swore on regular basis, in a way that would make a sailor blush. Not very smooth from a reputable university professor and literary critic. * This Troper occasionally will use "By Poseidon's Fluffy Bunny Slippers". * For the last few years, 'curses' and 'dagnabbit' have been usually used for swears, unless there's something actually upsetting. * This Troper has been known to curse like a sailor when around her close friends. To keep from doing so in a setting where such language would not be welcome, she resorts to old-fashioned or strange phrases. "Dag nabbit" is the replacement of choice, along with "blast it," "oh, glory/gracious/goodness," "good gravy," and "for the love of *random object*." * This Swedish troper's father used to swear (at least when he had young children) with "helsikes bananer!" (which would mean, in English, "bananas of Heck!") * ''Frostsabre.'' "Man, this is one forkin' [object]!" or "Fork this chip." * This troper's [[NeverMessWithGranny badass grandmother]] has used a multitude of funny words when mad--though occasionally she lets one slip. * From TheLordOfTheRings, I picked up what happens to be the Orcish word for fire: "Ghash!" * "Oh, by heavens..." * This troper has an obsession with saying "Sweet bloody hell" or "Sweet Jesus" when she's surprise or confused, eg. "What the sweet bloody hell did you do to my room?!" or "Sweet jesus, would you look at that outfit. It's like she's from the 80's!" ---Return to rassa-frackin', toe-tappin', sis-boom-bappin' CurseOfTheAncients here, consarnit! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

CurtainClothing * Having had limited access to fabric stores at various points in his life, [[Tropers/DamianYerrick this troper]] has been known to plan out costume cutting patterns to fit on a 160x240 cm piece of fabric. This is roughly the size of a US twin bed sheet.

** As has Tropers/{{JET73L}}, as well as making accessories and trim from the tie-backs of actual curtain sets. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

CuteBruiser * Little seven year old girl I know from Church has this whole [[ death from above]] thing going on. She managed to take out 5'9", 200 pound guy with a flying tackle to the head (She jumped up onto the bonnet of the car and used that to throw herself up. That doubles as a CMOA and triples as a CMOF when she ripped his button up shirt off from the spinning-around-gag that ensued.) * Two women in this troper's ROTC class are short and brutal in combatives, earning them both the nickname of "spidermonkey." They're cute, but don't let them grapple you. * This troper has a backstory in a current Vampire game wherein an [[ReallySevenHundredYearsOld eight year old girl]] tore his arm off because she wanted his attention. She still has it. ** The arm or his attention? ** Could be both * From a MutantsAndMasterminds game This Troper ran: -->Karly Lacci -->Ht: 5' 1/2" -->Wt: 160 Lbs -->Cute, bubbly, Lifting Strength of 50. When bored, would juggle car tires. Once took on an entire platoon of police officers by throwing their cars away. * From a short-lived Mutants and Masterminds game on Jinjing Li, a thin teen standing about five and a half feet in height. Lifting strength 90 (heavy load - Naval Destroyer, c. 3200 tons). With her limiter (a device used to keep her power safely in check) off, her lifting strength topped out at 135 (3.2 million tons)...uncontrolled. * This Troper ran a character in a {{Champions}} game, "Power Mouse", a homage to MightyMouse: 3'2" tall, and able to lift and throw an M-1 tank. * This troper ran a character in {{Champions}}, "Starguard". 18 years old, petite, cute, blonde, perky... and hosting the remnant essence of an archangel. When she chose to cut loose, a pocket Armageddon would fall on you. The only people in the game universe stronger than she was when she channelled her power into physical might were the local equivalents of the Hulk and Thor. * One girl this troper knew in high school solved her particularly vicious [[TheLibby Libby]] problems very succinctly. Ever see a 4 foot eleven girl wail on a decent-sized group of high school girls? All at once? With a good amount of cussing? And left at least three in tears? In the school cafeteria with tons of people watching? [[RefugeInAudacity And get away with it?]] * Real-life: This troper knows a cute girl, not 5'5, who's a complete genius and speaks three languages. She's also an expert in karate and

gymnastics and could easily kill someone twice her size. * [[@/{{Kaizykat}} This Troper]] has always been short but very heavily built. By the time she was eight she could take down her father (Who is 5'11" and does manual labor). She remembers one episode when she was three when she hit her father so hard she gave him a massive bloody nose. Another time, when she was older, she ''dragged him around the house by his foot'' (Keep in mind that the house was carpeted). She couldn't have been older than six or seven that time. * This Troper's little sister is well known for embodying this trope,the first sign being when she was about three or four and easily picked up a heavy concrete slab. At primary school she was feared by every boy in her year because if they annoyed her she could, and did, kick their asses (her preferred tactic was picking them up, carrying them over to the nearest muddy puddle and dropping them in it. She would've been about seven or eight at the time), a reputation which has continued to this day. When she was about ten she took up doing judo after going up against a fifteen year old boy at a sports taster day and kicking his butt, and soon got to the point where she could throw our dad. Most recently she's picked up this very heavy troper with a distinct lack of effort and has given our 6"4 brother piggyback rides on a number of occasions (they both think it's funny). Said little sister is currently about 5"6 and while far from skinny, she doesn't look as strong as she is. * This Troper's english teacher is a very sweet, kind, middle aged woman who bawls when reading ''Where the Red Fern Grows.'' She also skipped a personal defense class in college to go to a Metallica concert, and has deadly aim with an assault rifle. * This troper knows a girl, 14 years old, 5' even, under 140 lbs, slim and toned. She's destroyed lockers at school by punching them, has mostly removed bullying from her school by willingly becoming the target of all bullying and beating them down in turn, and can put her fist through a cinder-block wall with ease. * [[@/DeltaOne This Troper]] knew a girl. Slim, redhead, pretty. Vicious as a snake and [[GroinAttack totally without honour]] [[EyeScream in combat]]. He once saw her make two grown men cry and three others back off apologising in a bar in Swansea. The best part? She's blind. ** She's Toph reincarnated. That's the best explanation I can come up with, and the most awesome. * This troper has a few Cute Bruiser moments. I'm not particularly cute. I'm the tall, lanky, spacey type. If you didn't know me well, you would think I'm a real prissy, girly, quiet girl. Also if I dressed a certaian way you would think i was a guy. Getting back to the point I am actually a really tomboyish and strong person. I once got revenge on my friend by taking a whip cream bottle. sticking the nozzle in his ear, squirting it(and getting some on his guitar), slapping him clean across the face, and ran for it. I also got really pissed and pushed my friend down a hill. My friends also say I have a creepy stare and scare them easily when I walk up behind them. ** I have a few moments of my own as well. I'm not really that cute, though. Either way, when people piss me off (which is pretty hard to do these days)... They'll come out with a bruised shin or arm. If

they're lucky. ** this troper weights 110 pounds and seems rather harmless but she has been known to take down her male friend, who weights at least twice as much as she does, while wrestling. * [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] had a character in [[PhantasyStar Phantasy Star Online]] that was like this. Though I was using a character type typically used as a mage or a healer, I did some hacking to the character to allow her to equip any weapon in the game. The responses from people seeing a [=FOnewearl=] using a broadsword with ease made it all worth it. * This Troper is 5'1", about 110, and is quite small-boned and looks very non-threatening. She regularly threatens football players, has hit one with an umbrella when he was blocking the classroom door, breaks up fights, tells(or rather shouts at) idiotic boys to shut up(Most of whom are about 6' and 180 who could very easily throw her across the room), and has screamed at her entire study hall(Which is in the auditorium and has about a hundred kids) to sit down and shut up or she would personally beat each and everyone of them with her backpack(which weighs about fifteen pounds). They listened. * This Troper's ex-wife is 5'3", currently majoring in linguistics and philosophy, speaks four languages, practices combat sambo, has extensive knowledge of street fighting... and hangs out with headbangers whom she regularly outdrinks. * This troper is just about 5'2 and weighs about 110 pounds as well. I'm mostly quiet and a little shy, my haircut and face shape make me look roughly 4 years younger and I like to wear cute clothes. Except those thick-looking thighs aren't for nothing--I am known for being able to kick really hard. Like I gave guys in elementary school bloody noses, scared my gym classes when we played soccer and such throughout middle and high school. Now in college, I haven't been able to show this off so much, but as I make more guy friends, this will become evident fairly soon... * [[@/RTaco This Troper's]] sister fits the bill, being a foot shorter than him but consistently beating him at arm wrestling since she was 8. * This Troper was this until she hit her growth spurt, roughly 4'10" before and is now 5'6", but would regularly beat up a 6'3" 200+ pound kind-of friend of hers because he was and is a jerkass. * This troper's ex-girlfriend (5'0", 110 lbs.) was very much this (high on the list of [[{{Fetish}} reasons I was attracted to her]]). I met her when she joined guard in the marching band, and in the course of one season, her physique went from average-to-slightly-chubby to lean and well muscled, complete with Chun Li thunder thighs. Even before she looked the part, though, she was absurdly strong. After learning how to do flag work in guard (something that I understand she picked up on obnoxiously quickly), she figured out how to twirl two flags at once, something that takes mondo strength and coordination. She also regularly gave people piggyback rides (almost always people significantly larger than her) because she said it was good exercise. She later told me that she could comfortably lift a hundred pounds by the age of eight, and has always been disappointed getting massages because her back muscles are so well developed.

* I have a very badass two year old sister. If my 5 year old brother annoys her, she will hit him hard enough to make him cry. She is an absolutely adorable little girl, who always wears cute little dresses and has pink ribbons in her hair. * [[@/{{Joerc45}} This troper's]] older sister is about 5" tall and about 115 lbs, but can beat the crap out of guys twice her size. I've felt her punches, and they [[{{Understatement}} HURT!]] I remember once when we were younger she hit this one kid who was picking on her. Needless to say, he began to cry! Yikes! I felt sorry for him. * This troper remembers a small convention, where the arrogant ex of a female friend of his was attending, said female friend, her thenboyfriend and I were also there. When word had it that the ex was spreading lies about her, she turned the {{unstoppable rage}} mode on. ** She was 5'7'', about 140 lbs and slim. ** I was 6', about 300 lbs, pretty big and able to lift the back of my car (Audi 80) ** Her then-boyfriend was my height, about 180 lbs and not much "weaker" than me. ** Long story short: she dragged us both along the parking lot with us having no chance in hell to even slow her dosn. Honestly, when we reached my car, I was afraid she'd throw it aside... * [[@/{{FairyDreamer}} This troper]] has a younger sister who is chubby and adorable, but can and will kick your butt if you provoke her! When she was 6 years old, she beat up a sixth-grader who'd repeatedly harassed one of her friends and he ran away from her in tears. Another time (I think she was 8 or 9), she broke a boy's jaw because he stole her lunch for the 4th time (and no, I'm not exaggerating. She really broke his jaw). She got away with both of these incidents too. * There was a girl who sat next to me in science class during our junior year who wasn't a hair over 4'8", with adorable freckles and gorgeous Brazilian-esque facial features. She was on the track team, and when i asked her to flex, she had muscles harder than some football players i know. * [[Tropers/KatanaCat I]] am usually very sweet and nice, and will rattle on about shows and games I like for hours if nobody tells me that they got tired of hearing about all the WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs moments in ''TokyoMewMew'' or some random ''SonicTheHedgehog'' game an hour ago. I have too many [[GirlsLoveStuffedAnimals plushies]] to bother to count. My room has two origami displays in it, with things like parrots, fish, stars, hearts, bunnies, and cats. I [[GuiltyPleasure secretly]] play ''{{Kirby}}''. [[BreadEggsMilkSquick I also listen to Three Days Grace and Crush 40, and if you piss me off, you had better be very careful about how much and in what way you do. If you're not, then don't expect all of your body parts to be where nature intended]]. * This troper stands just over 155 cm, looks much younger than sixteen (her actual age) and is not even especially physically fit, but one particular {{Jerkass}} was unpleasantly surprised by just how hard she can punch when his hands went where they shouldn't have been. ** Unfortunately this backfires every time on [[StalkerWithACrush another acquaintance]], as he is basically two hundred pounds of

solidness. Damn it. * This troper has her own Cute Brusier moments, most of them consisting of throwing random items at bullies. One gained a black eye because of her infamous school shoes of doom, and one experienced an accidental groin attack because he wouldn't sit still when the troper aimed (and fired) for his head. And those are just the memorable ones. * This troper knew one, He was short, cute and blond, and did boxing, and was exceedingly popular with girls, not to mention being strong and a good fighter, unfortunately, he was a bit of a git, and a bully, and then found out when he attacked me that a very large tough guy tends to beat a very small one. * A friend of mine who plays goalie on my soccer team fits this perfectly. She's about 5'4" and slim, and she's very pretty and dresses in a girly way when she's not in her soccer uniform. On the field, she will totally wail on anyone who gets within a few feet of her when she has the ball, usually knocking over a few people per game. Apparently she's given at least three people bloody noses and broke some poor girl's leg last year. The best part? She's a goalie, so she doesn't even get penalized. ---Hello, my pretty-ack! Alright, alright! I'll go back to CuteBruiser, just PUT ME DOWN!. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

CuteClumsyGirl * Wow, to think that ''[[SpearCounterpart I'd]]'' have to launch this page? @/{{SpiriTsunami}} is a ''male'' {{Dojikko}}. A list will follow. ** Common exploits include: *** Dropping things for no apparent reason--usually ''[[EroticEating food]]''. *** Not realizing that a ramp is starting and thereby hitting the ground too hard because I expected ground where there was air. *** Not realizing that a staircase is ''ending'' and thereby hitting the ground too hard because I expected ''air'' where there was ''ground''. *** Banging into doors because I tried to push when I should've pulled or vice versa. *** Banging into doors because I didn't turn the knob all the way and the door is still shut. *** Smashing myself with doors by pushing so hard that they reach the limits of how far they can open and come back at me. *** ''Stumbling through'' doorways because my weight is being put on it under the expectation that the hinge is on the other side. ** Isolated occurences include: *** Walking into a screen door that I ''[[FailedASpotCheck just didn't see]]''. *** Tearing off a belt loop in an attempt to keep my pants up. (Note to self: yes, the belt ''has'' been reappropriated as a ''female'' fashion accessory, but with my lack of a waistline, appearances have

to be secondary to practicality.) *** ''Breaking a glass with my teeth.'' I ''wish'' I were making that up. Luckily it was a nice even break, one major piece and a few particles that were too small to have a jagged edge, and I didn't draw any blood. **** Are you [[{{Tropers/Joerc45}} me]]? * [[@/ThirtyTwoFootsteps This troper]]'s sister still tops everyone he has ever seen. She's fallen and missed the floor (no, she did not [[HitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy learn to fly]] due to this), and has somehow caught her head in a car door multiple times. There was the one memorable instance where she went to carry a bowl of homemade blueberry pudding over a carpeted area, despite all pleas to the contrary. She even said, [[TemptingFate "It's not that far; it's not like I trip over everything."]] She didn't even make it two feet before tripping and spilling half of it on the carpet. She inherited this from our mother, who is never asked to bring a drink with her from the kitchen for very good reason. * This troper, minus the cute (at least in my eyes). I'm known for falling down and popping back up with an "I'm OK!" at least twice a day, I've ran into glass doors, I've tripped over my own feet or tripped others with my feet by accident... * Present! Minus the cute angle. This troper tops [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Bella Swann]] in terms of sheer clumsiness. I've hit golf balls thirty feet and hit somebody (this was playing mini-golf), I trip over things, I drop stuff, I recently attempted to get off a boat onto the dock, the boat floated backwards, and one foot went very far down while forward momentum propelled my torso onto the dock, with the end result of several scrapes and a three-inch-diameter circular bruise on my thigh. I've also go three successive weeks in a fencing class where I either fall over or drop the sword ''at least'' once per week. Said tendency is made worse because I insist on doing things such as tree climbing, sitting on anything ''but'' the chairs, and so forth, [[TooDumbToLive whenever possible]]. * This troper has numerously run into both glass ''and'' screen doors, had a printer fall onto her face ((Seriously)), and on the very last school day, decided to run across the street, in the rain, wearing flip-flops...which caused her to face-plant into the cement. * Somehow, I've managed to hit the ceiling fan multiple times, despite living in the same house for years. Given that I'm 6'6", the prospect of multiple trips to sickbay with concussions and whacked shins was why I went for the Army instead of the Navy. * [[@/{{Orihime}} This Troper]] always trips over things, drops stuff, has sprained her left ankle at least ''twice'' seriously (and now it constantly hurts a bit), and often has dark bruises all over that she can't remember when or where she got them from bumping on tables or chairs. * This troper is at personal odds with gravity. (I've dumped him twice, but he's very...clingy.) And the forces of physics in general. I drop things covered in glue, trip over hydrogen atoms, bang into things that don't exist, and I can't remember the last time I walked down a public bus without stumbling. Just look at my last soccer match--I fell over seventeen times ''in the first half''. The amount

of falls executed by the rest of the players on the field during the entire game came to about five. At this point in time, I have no less than four unhealed scrapes on various parts of my knees, and am so used to falling over, I can literally bounce straight back up with a happy grin on my face while my legs slowly start to drip with blood. I have no idea if it makes me cute, but it tends to get a giggle out of the crowd, so at least I ain't hurting anyone. * This troper doesn't think she has the cute part down but the clumsy part hell yeah! I constantly trip over thin air, drop things, break things, bash into people, stagger about, there have been a few memorable ones though such as: ** Slipping off of a couch and biting through my bottom lip ** Trapping my finger in a car door, another hospital visit ** Falling off of a flower border and spraining my wrist ** Knocking a can of coke off of the counter at work which then exploded all over me and a lot of cakes ** Dropping a tray of drink cans at work which then exploded everywhere *** I am very surprised that I have survived this long without breaking any bones, however it does mean i am pretty much constantly bruised * This troper is dyspraxic, and thus ends up walking into things, as well as dropping things, tripping, and so forth. This has given this troper a rather blase attitude towards injuries, to the point of skinning his palm entirely after a fall and shrugging it off even while people fussed over it. ** Another dyspraxic (but female) troper here. Ditto all of the above, including the "Huh when did that bruise/cut happen". Also I'm so used to apologising for bumping into others that I say sorry even when it wasn't my fault... or when I've walked into a lamppost not a person. * This troper has expected stairs where there were none and ended up running into walls at school... multiple times, including the last day of freshman year. She has also smashed a finger in a garage door, literally run (down a hill with her eyes closed) into a telephone pole, frequently smashed hands into doorways while walking through them, jammed a thumb on herself, whacked a metal spoon she was holding between her teeth, tripped over nothing, ran a hand into the corner of a fire extinguisher box (very pointy) while carrying plywood, and lots of accidental self-whacking. This troper also has also crashed a bike, requiring 21 stitches, which was separate from the time she biked into a wall. * [[@/InvertedTritone This Troper]] has fallen ''up'' stairs, down stairs, off her bike, had her bike fall on her (multiple times), twisted her ankle running across a football field, tripped over the dust in the air, knocked too many drinks over to count, dropped glasses and had them explode, fallen out of bed, fallen in the rain, gotten tangled up in her own legs while marching, and regularly finds new random bruises she doesn't remember getting. Oh, and once she ran into a bed every time she walked by it. Every time. * A friend of This Troper fits this perfectly. Hell, she once even managed to fall over while lying down. At one point, she was surprised that it had been 2 days since she'd fallen over. I bet her $10 she

couldn't make it to the end of the week. She accepts, then trips over her own feet. * Male version here. I tend to drop things after holding them in my hands for just some short time. Sometimes I try to open doors, only to discover I: ** Didn't push hard enough. Cue door not opening and me hitting it. ** Tried opening it the wrong way. Door won't budge. ** Didn't press down/turn the door handle/knob far enough. Door won't budge. Also sometimes happens with locked doors. ** Open a door, but push too hard. Door swings open, and in one memorable occasion the handle went through the (cubicle) wall the door banged against (now there's a metal plate). ** Go through door, but hit door as I didn't push it hard enough and it closes. ** Successfully manage to pass door, but get my clothes caught on door knob/handle. Cue "GLURK!" as I suddenly and shockingly discover this and almost fall. * [[@/{{Usagi}} This troper]], of course minus the "cute" part, at least in her eyes. She really can't post any examples, because this sort of thing has become routine for her. Being a total ButtMonkey probably helps. * [[@/{{chitoryu12}} This troper's]] girlfriend, full-throttle. There have been some comparisons to Bella from ''Twilight'', as she's almost always finding new ways to hurt herself. If she sees a ledge, chances are she'll jump up and start walking along it, even the outer wall of the Castillo de San Marcos in St. Augustine, which is the only thing between the tourists and the bay. There's even a picture of her standing on a ledge, mouth wide open in delight, and her arms out by her side, while this troper is standing below her with his arms out to catch her. She once managed to pull the power cord of a vacuum cleaner out the wall so hard that it bloodied her nose. * This troper has fallen up stairs, down stairs, slipped on ice after talking about how she was good on ice, dropped and shattered glases, including once on her ''foot'', broken her laptop numerous times despite it being from a line that's known for being very tough, broken her DS within a week of getting it while doing nothing wrong, tripped on her skirt, tripped on flat ground, tripped on her own feet, ran into walls, walked into walls, hit herself in the head with a GameBoyAdvance, cut herself on a CD, cut herself on window blinds while cleaning them, cut herself on her own fingernail on accident, gotten bleach in her eye, gotten bug spray into her eye, slid into a ditch while trying to avoid a speeding ambulance on a country road while driving and took out a mailbox, scarred her knees while climbing out of her mother's truck, hurt her foot playing DDR, and accidentally misnamed numerous pokemon AAAAAAAAAA due to finger slips. This troper regularly discovers bruises and cuts on her arms and legs that she does not remember getting (and no comments about how random bruising is a sign of disease; random cuts are not). This (relatively neurotypical) troper is actually klutzier than her friend who has ''cerebral palsy.'' * This Troper supposes she's one, though she doesn't think the cute bit applies. She guesses she probably just has no common sense -

things that are blindingly obvious are left out of things, she stumbles over basic tasks, and then there's the physically clumsy like filling a mug up to the top and trying to bring it from the kitchen to the living room - which includes plenty of baby steps and shaky hands. Falling down stairs, hitting her head, dropping things, trapping her finger in a car door, bashing into people, leaving things open, etc. She's also left her memory stick (and other items) behind so often she actually lost it - then got a new one, which ended up lost outside and dented, possibly by ''passing cars''. It's just annoying now, and any cute it could have had is lost by her reaction to these things - which is anger and protests of the "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to forget!" kind (and her general [[{{Tsundere}} reaction to most things in public anyway,]] [[TheStoic meaning she isn't cute anyway -]] [[TheQuietOne mild annoyance and mild everything pretty much]]). * This troper's best friend is one. She got hit by a PARKED car... and tripped over a line. Oh, and she tripped over a rock the size of an ice cube, fell on it, and shattered her elbow. *facepalm* * This troper was in a café the other day when a waitress dropped a fork onto the floor. The said waitress happens to be quite little, cute-looking and Japanese (all the staff wear name badges), so perhaps this would count as {{Dojikko}}-ness... * Totally this troper. My friends wonder how I even managed to survive in this world. No matter how I screw something up or injure myself, I always seem to spring back up with a smile on my face. * While [[@/ROFLopadous This Troper]] doesn't want to call herself cute, she is however quite clumsy. Her laundry list of clumsy moments include falling out of her own chair, running into a parked car, taking out a chunk of her finger once while cutting open a bag of pickles at work, walked into a door, nearly taking down a clothing display while shopping, and the topper is somehow knocking off her own cap while walking to get her degree this past week at college graduation. * This troper's main method of coming out of her room recently seems to be falling into the wall directly across from the door. * Subverted, this troper is a wiry sort of guy who never learned to care about falling over due to being MadeOfIron. As such, he terrifies onlookers by falling over, tripping on things, striking things while gesturing and once [[BeyondTheImpossible getting hit by an SUV]] and nonchalantly walking away. The really strange bit is that I really could stop but [[ForTheFunnyz just never bring myself to.]] * [[Tropers/ThisIsATest I]] knew a girl for a year, but never dared approach her out of [[ShrinkingViolet shyness]]. Then I saw her cursing under her breath while fumbling with an oversized portfolio, and shortly afterwards, we became friends. * I know one girl at School who is cute as a button and trips over everything * Mild case with this Troper minus the cute (I've seen dustbins cuter than I am). One time I was emptying the dish washer, and put the chopsticks into a container for spatulas, wooden spoons, etc. And last year at Band Festival, I walked right into a pillar (though my bassoon saved me from any direct contact).

* This troper has a friend who becomes hyperactive from the smallest amount of suger (due to a allergy) and lousy co-ordination on par with somebody suffering an inner ear infection. Let me repeat: a clumsy girl on hair-trigger hyperactivity. {{Hilarity Ensues}}. * The girl this troper likes at school... Don't judge me... *Shoots* * I am amazingly clumsy-I fell up the stairs, fall over things, walk into doors, fall over my own feet, break nails, slip over on mud and look like ive pooped myself...anything I can possibly fall over or have an accident with. * This troper knows a girl who is so clumsy she once cut herself on bread. She is thoroughly adorable. * [[{{Tropers/Joerc45}} This troper]] is a [[GenderFlip male version]] of this. Just this week, he has knocked over 5 glasses of water, hit his foot against a wall and tripped, and hit his hand on a ceiling fan when he was stretching. Another recent, more serious case of injury in part of said clumsiness occured about a month ago when he was walking down the street one day and tripped on a sharp metal object, leading to severe bruising in one leg and profuse bleeding in the other. * This Troper's wife pretty clearly falls under this trope. She constantly gets bruises from bumping into our bed, somehow missing that she's next to it or something. She's also been known to trip over her own two feet and will usually fall over with a rather cute cry of dismay. * [[{{Tropers/Zanreo}} This Troper]] is pretty clumsy. At least 3-4 times a year, she'll suddenly drop a knife or fork when eating, and spill her drink double as many times. She's also prone to hitting the space between her toes - anyone who's done that will know how painful it is. * This troper regularly trips over her own feet, the cat, and -air-. Also, this troper has been known to fall -up- a flight of stairs. This has happened more than once. She's very good with sharp objects, but anything else is a crapshoot. * This troper has a variety of unbelievably clumsy Japanese teachers one has a routine habit of accidentally launching whiteboard pens across the room, she also drops stacks of handouts, bumps into walls and corners, and manages to walk into/elbow pretty much every piece of furniture in the classroom. A case of {{Dojikko}} as everyone I know adores her. Another of my teachers was once walking backwards while talking - she stumbled on NOTHING, fell over, smashed her elbows on the tables on either side, and then hurriedly got up and apologised as if she'd somehow inconvenienced or offended us. Got to love that Japanese spirit. * I've always resembled Linda Ronstadt so you can take from that your own judgements as to whether you think I should be "cute" or not, but one thing I certainly am is "clumsy"! (And I'm also a girl, but, well, this is a given.) I used to trip and fall so many times I came to realize that I preferred hydrogen peroxide over rubbing alcohol in the post-washing up treatment of my cuts and scrapes. I've twisted my ankles an innumerable amount of times. I can trip even when there's nothing on the floor or ground. I've got a terrible case of butter fingers and have broken several dishes in the kitchen as a result. There is nothing elegant and graceful about me. I am simply clumsy.

* This troper and her mum fit this trope perfectly. dishes,glasses,mugs,etc don't last long in our kitchen and we're never asked to pour hot water or carry delicate stuff. This tropers finds new cuts and bruises on every shower and she's grown so used to it she doesn't even question it. She routinely falls,trips,crashes against stufff,like doors and walls and posts and trees that have been there for years, and while she finds frameless glassess cute, after crashing against the kitche door and breaking them, not so much. as a result, this troper's body is full of scars,her left wrist hurts often due to an unttended injury and her left ankle hurts often due especially when running due to several twists over the year, while falling and climbing and running. * [[Tropers/ElodieHiras I]] am not a cute clumsy girl, but a cute clumsy boy. Yet, my father and my friends finds it cute and laughable. My exploits so far: ** Often dropping stuff I hold. ** Often pushing a door that needs to be pulled and vice versa. ** Often put some of my drinks on my clothes. ** The same for Ice Cream and yogurt. ** Often forgetting a staircase ending, hitting the ground when expecting air and vice versa. ** Cutting myself with Papercut a playing card (I believe it was an ace). ** I once ran into a screen wall outside my university classroom while talking on the phone. ** Slipping in a staircase. ** Walking into cables coming out of my computer (mouse, headphones...). ** Banging my toes against furniture. Ouch. ** Accidentally hitting my own [[GroinAttack gonads]], sometimes with an item, sometimes with my bare hands... * How this Troper keeps her job as a busser at a pizza restaurant/bar is a mystery. Sure, everyone who works there has dropped and broken the odd pint glass. But A WHOLE RACK FULL OF THEM? And let's not even count the times I've run head-on into one of the wait staff because I couldn't get out of the way fast enough. ---[[Main/{{CuteClumsyGirl}} *crash* Whoops!]] Sorry 'bout that! <<|TroperTales|>>

CuteLittleFangs * [[@/TheStupidExclamationMark This Troper]] has a canine and a front tooth in his upper jaw that are placed higher and a little bit more to the front than his other front teeth. As a result, when he smiles, they tend to protrude slightly over his lower lip, giving [[CuteLittleFangs the effect]]. ** @/{{Excel-2009}}. I have the same kind of fangs. One of my old school [=IDs=] shows one of them off prominently. ** Third troper with these fangs. I'm sorta frustrated about two things - the lack of symmetry (because two canines would be just

better) and they have, on occasion, interfered with my ability to drink out of a cup. Dribbles ensued. * This troper makes fun of her brother for having these. He eventually got them filed down to look normal. * [[@/{{Nomic}} This troper]] has these. Altho "cute" might not be the right word. Most people find them creepy, and when he's in a con or other situation that involves people cosplaying, people tend to comment on his "realistic-looking vampire fangs". * I've got slightly oversized upper Fangs. My GF likes them though, so I'm not changing them. * This troper has noticable canines. Unfortunately, they aren't long enough to be fangs. * This troper is so proud of her slightly fang-like, sharp canine teeth that she refused to get braces out of fear that modification to said teeth would be part of the equation. Luckily, they are short enough not to be apparent when her mouth is closed. * This troper is a lopsided freak. She has one upraised, prominent canine, (friends call it the 'werewolf tooth,') and one fairly normal one. * [[@/PurplePantherGirl This troper]] has these, but they don't protrude. They make excellant weapons though. * [[@/{{Rainbow}} This troper's]] cousin has oddly sharp canines, which is interesting because my cousin likes vampires. My Pomeranian's teeth look like this when she opens her mouth, like when she's playing or barking. Although in the case of the dog, it's not as cute when she accidentally bites me while playing. * This troper's little sister. We're too poor for braces, but she looks cute with 'em anyway. * This troper has quite prominent fangs, which coupled with his dislike of direct sunlight (sensitive eyes), and dislike of garlic, earned him some interesting nicknames in primary school. His brother has even more pronounced canines. * This troper had an injury that forced one of his lateral incisors (face teeth next to the canines) up. When he had braces it was dangerous to move the injured tooth so the other was moved up to look normal. Now the canines appear more pronounced. * This troper's old music teacher and a girl in this troper's class have these. * [[@/{{Kuzlalala}} This Troper]]'s friend used to have a boyfriend because of this. * This troper's sister has fangs, and doesn't like other people drawing attention to them. This doesn't stop her from casually threatening to use them. * This troper has two legendarily sharp, fang-like lower canines. The comparative flatness of his eye teeth has made him wonder numerous times if this was normal, and if people would look at him funny if he wore similar-sized "upper fangs" over them. * [[@/SoWeAteThem I]] know somebody from college who, due apparently to a botched dentistry job, had yaeba. Her friends and I would not stop cheering about this for another ten minutes. * [[@/StongRadd This Troper]] has them, but they're not obvious...yet. My buck teeth are too in the way.

* This troper and her mother both have extremely pointy canines that stick out a little bit, enough to notice when smiling. A graduation portrait of her really shows them off. * There's at least one {{Metalocalypse}} fanartist who likes to give Nathan Explosion a single tiny fang. As far as I know, she's never explained why. My hypotheses are that it's a cute trait that doesn't detract from his masculinity, that the slightly feral effect works well with the rest of his appearance and personality, or that Mr. Explosion is secretly a half-orc. * This troper doesn't have fangs per say, but one of his bottom teeth (which is a bit bigger than the others) is opposite another one on the top which is also slightly larger than the others. Add the fact that his smile looks unnatural (not Slasher Smile style, but more like an inhuman smile) and you understand why he never does an open mouth smile unless forced to. Luckily, it isn't particularly obvious with his mouth closed. * My Lhaspa Apsa, Chewi has this in reverse, he has an adorable pair of snagle teeth. * On my right side only, one of my Canine teeth is this, as it was forced upwards when my teeth were growing in. ** Are you me? Cos I have exactly the same. It grows higher up in the gum than the others, and I use to open juiceboxes when I can't find the straw. * [[@/KatanaCat This Troper]] has these, and is happy about showing them off. Her two front teeth (in her upper jaw only) are also rather long, but she doesn't this nearly as much, as the one on the right is the same length as the fang next to it, and the one on the left is slightly longer (and it makes her fangs appear shorter than they are by comparison). If she showed pictures/videos of herself talking or grinning, she would likely get called "Rattata-teeth" by the other members of the Poke-fanclub on DeviantART. Needless to say, those fangs are not very fun to have if she bites her tongue... * This troper has some, but his crooked teeth (which for some reason no dentist has ever reccommened an orthadontist for) take focus away from them. * This troper, though it doesn't quite fit the archetype, used to have a cute little fang in the form of a single canine-like tooth smack dab in the middle of her upper incisors. I had it removed when in the second grade because of incessant teasing, but now I wish I'd kept it, though the dentist did say it probably would've fallen out eventually. I did technically keep it, though, wrapped in cotton in a little envelope on a bookshelf. * [[@/UltimateChimera This troper]] used to have them as a child, until she got braces. This startled several of her friends when she showed them an old photo. A friend of hers has yaeba. * Me and my brother both have slightly fang-ish teeth. * This troper, all canines were notably pronounced until the dentist ground down the lower set. * For some reason, all but one of my canines are pointy and notably pronounced. The remaining one, for whatever reason, looks like an incisor. * This troper's baby canines never came out, and the permanent canines

ended up growing behind them, producing this effect, particularly when she smiles. * Going by the description and various examples, this troper can't quite tell if he has these or the opposite. My canines are more forward positioned and angled a little weird, but they sit higher up than the rest of my teeth, so they don't really stick out or anything. ** [[@/{{Amethystasheryn}} I'm]] the same. It's not noticeable most of the time, but they're prominent enough that my brother has called them vampire fangs when I smile widely enough to show teeth. * [[{{Tropers/DSFARGEG}} This troper]] has them on top and bottom teeth, the upper ones also stick out slightly due to having grown in over the first tooth there, while all my other teeth are unusually sharp to a degree. I sometimes wish they were more obvious. ---Take a bite out of those adorably CuteLittleFangs here. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

CutenessOverload * [[TwoWordsObviousTrope Four words:]] [[ Three. Week. Old. Bunnies.]] ** [[ This picture of]] [[TheIdolmaster Yayoi]] (the one with the orange pigtails). ** Two more words: [[ Baby elephants.]]

CutenessProximity * A metal festival. A trip to the city. A little homeless kitty sitting on a car. Cue the whole dark, satanistic, gloomily gothic clique going "AWWW IT'S SO CUUUUUTE LET'S TAKE IT HOME KITTY KITTY COME HERE TEE HEE". * A cute, homeless cat. In my doorstep. Meowing cutely. Cue [[@/{{Darkangelsv1}} me]] ''crawling and "meowing" back'' over to said cat. It ran away, sadly. * This Troper + puppies/kittens = ''Mental'' "KEETEE!KEETEE!DEH TIENEE WIDDLE KEETEE!KEETEE!/PUHPEE!PUHPEE!DEH KEYOOTE IDDYBIDDY PUHPEE!PUHPEE!" (After all, you don't want to scare them, do you?) * This troper is generally a bit of a misery who takes things too seriously. Add a dog however and this trope occurs. If I'm walking down the street and I see an unattended dog, nine times out of ten there's a mental cry of 'doggy!' (or 'dog-dog', or just plain 'awww')and I automatically start going towards them with my hands going into ear scratching mode. ** There's a good chance that this could be genetic. This troper has seen their sister be completely derailed mid-rant by a pug appearing on tv and their brother goes misty eyed at the sight of puppies and dogs. He and this troper once watched a program called Dog Rescue and

had a contest to see who could go the longest without going into 'Aw' mode. Their brother didn't make it past the intro. * Show [[@/{{Midna}} me]] an image of [[AzumangaDaioh Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga]] and see how long it takes for me to let loose a "{{squee}}!" and start gushing about her big cute [[{{Tareme}} droopy]] eyes, her [[{{Pettanko}} adorably flat chest]], her puffy, plump cheeks, or any other attractive feature I can find on her body, up to and including her clavicles. PerverseSexualLust? Oh yeah. (Of course, cuteness is more than skin deep, but still!) ** Alternatively, show me a picture of [[PanelDePon Lip]] for an equally-sized geyser of {{squee}}. ** Or you could show [[Tropers/SilverMoonDance me]] a picture of [[MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic Fluttershy]] for a similar reaction. * This troper's sister goes into a state of brain-melting {{Squee}}gasm at the mere ''mention'' of dogs. It's quite annoying. * [[@/{{Seanette}} This troper]] has no ability to NOT go into goosh mode when confronted with a dog, cat, baby, or small child. Some other animals even get the goosh reaction, such as squirrels. * This troper, especially with babies and kittens. Regular old cats and some smaller breeds of dogs too. * This troper has this out the wazoo for animals, but she's indifferent to babies and can't stand small children. Present her with her fiance's baby nephew, however, and her brain melts. * How could you look at a puppy or kitten without the squeeing? ** Similarly, this troper is somewhat uncomfortable with small children and actively dislikes babies, but loves animals, particularly cats, and makes the most ridiculous noises out loud on seeing them. ** Thirded; this troper doesn't like being around kids/babies, but show her a budgie (or a ''picture'' of one) and this is the result. * Babies can be included here as well. This troper once visited a couple who had a great-spirited baby girl of 6 months who would laugh SO on-cue, you'd think she was a comedian prodigy. The troper's mother leaned forward and cooed, and the baby.... DID THE SAME THING. Repeatedly. * This troper is wont to literally drop everything when noticing a cat, often accompanied by "Kitty!" This is why he doesn't drive. * This troper, normally pretty calm and reserved, devolves into babytalk and gushing when referring to or interacting with her ferrets ("the squishies"). * This troper goes nuts whenever Baby!Al appears in FullmetalAlchemist, due to having a soft spot for the character and the fact he was always such a sweetie. * [[@/DarkInsanity13 This troper]] likes cats. It takes all her willpower to maintain her cool, cynical and apathetic facade in front of her friends whenever she sees one in the street and not go up to it to try and pet it. She also [[NotGoodWithPeople doesn't mind other animals]], but prefers cats. * I have a feeling that I could be considered an EmoTeen, and often think, that the world is overrun with "emotionless monotone factory puppets", but I often gush over my pets and use baby talk with them, I also will always run for my dog when it sounds like she's in pain. * All of [[@/GwenStacyWannabe my]] friends' animals love me, because

they know that when I come over they get tons of attention. This is sometimes a teeny bit awkward, because [[ShrinkingViolet I never show that kind of attention to people]]. * [[@/JuiceBoxHero This troper]] is definitely ''not'' an EmotionlessGirl, but rather a HotBlooded GenkiGirl with a side ordering of [[LargeHam ham.]] Still, a lot of my energy is directed into being aggressive or competitive or [[TestosteronePoisoning manry.]] This troper ''also'' goes into a quivering coma whenever she encounters puppies, kittens, mice, baby animals of any sort, cats, romantic things, and hedgehogs. However, this troper is not very fond of children at all, though her feelings towards them are of apathy rather than [[ChildHater outright hate.]] * This Troper has a speech coach who can be a bit unapproachable and grouchy (on a bad day, she seems to hate everyone and everything). However, put a baby near her, and... * This troper can becoe like this when he is in the company of cats... and tortoises. * This troper, whenever she walks into the laundry room immediately begins gushing at her 'boys'. The three male cats who are not allowed anywhere else in the house because they spray (and their fixed, ***! I got all of you boys fixed so you could hang out in my room, but you won't give up!) Her female cat gets no such talk, only the boys. Of course, I don't baby talk I just talk in a normal voice about how they're great and I love them while they swarm around me for pets. The only one who gets any kind of baby talk is the cat who adopted me, Midnight. I call him 'Babyyyy!' often in a baby voice. * [[@/AcrossTheStars This troper]] has an involuntary [[{{Squee}} Squeegasm]] around various little creatures, including but not limited to: hamsters, squirrels, hedgehogs, kittens, puppies, mice, ferrets, rabbits, and guinea pigs. * [[@/{{Griffinguy24}} This troper]] is secure enough in his masculinity that he will unabashedly do this. However, having a [[FriendToAllLivingThings soft spot for animals]], he's not limited to the standard "cute things". Among the things gushed over: [[ReptilesAreAbhorrent boa constrictors, corn snakes, iguanas, baby alligators]], [[BatOutOfHell Egyptian fruit bats]], [[OwlBeDamned pissed off great-horned owls]], [[FeatheredFiend kestrels, turkey vultures]], [[WhatMeasureIsANonCute hyenas, baboons, Tasmanian devils, tapirs, and, in general, many many animals that no one would consider cute]]. It has gotten this troper some weird looks, I'll tell you. ** This female troper does that, too. Fruit bats have the cutest widdle faces! ** If you take out the birds (not really a fan), I'm pretty much like that too. I don't get superbubbly, but animals make me very close to that. * [[@/{{Leradny}} This troper]] is quite fond of dogs and giggles whenever she plays with her own. She didn't even know she was doing it till her sister pointed it out. With other dogs, particularly large ones, she is wont to say "You're such a handsome man/pretty lady, aren't you? YESYOUARE! *giggle*" Partly because large dogs can't really be described as cute, and partly because she thinks the awkward stares people give her are hilarious.

** It depends on the large dog. The fluffier-coated ones can definitely be...this troper once lived with a collie who looked like a living cartoon. * [[@/{{Momonga}} This troper]] loves all the animals most people think are cute, but has an especially soft spot for [[EekAMouse rodents]]. Mice, rats, squirrels, gerbils, chinchillas, viscachas, sugar gliders, capybaras, all of 'em. Ironically, the rodent she finds least cute is the hamster. Human babies do not activate the "cute instinct" at all. The mere mention of a rodent, however, will elicit an "awwww!" (pitch rising steadily until it reaches dog-whistle level). She's [[WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes terrified of snakes]], but would never hurt one, her reasoning being that if everyone who found ''her'' creepy killed her, she'd probably have gone through a whole bunch of reincarnations by now. ** I think I might be a little bit in love with you. * This troper is very likely to experience a drop of intelligence whenever a dog is around. Any dog will do, even one that looks like the recently-deceased [[UglyCute ugliest dog in the world.]] * This troper lives in a neighborhood full of dogs. Cue total idiocy. Big dogs get "[=OOooz'e=] a big handsum boy/pwetty lady den!", little dogs get incoherent squeaking and "oogie booie boo"-ing, cats get "heeeeere, kitty kitty kitty, kssksskss" and "aren't you just ''lovely'', yes you are". Which can make for some entertaining reactions considering this troper's [[{{Goth}} preferred mode of dress]]. ** Of course, this troper ''also'' thinks baby [[NightmareFetishist sharks, snakes, and other such absurdly dangerous things]] are cute too. Go Figure. * One of this troper's biggest pet peeves is how nearly everyone finds it necessary to raise their voice three octaves when talking to a baby. ''Much'' worse than fingernails on a chalkboard. (Which the troper is actually not bothered by at all.) * This troper has a big weakness for dogs, and an even bigger one for foxes. Mere pictures of foxes, including fictional creatures that resemble them (I'm looking at you, [[{{Pokemon}} Eevee and Vulpix]]) can send him into fits of cuteness overload. * [[@/FyreNWater This troper]] loses all ability to hold normal conversations when within visual range of a cat or a puppy. Even more extreme, [[MemeticMutation her brain explodes into candy]] when she sees corgis and Scottish fold kittens. * This Troper's mother is a BadAss, {{Tsundere}} ActionMom; all the neighbors and local politicans seem to be afraid of her. However, said mother goes all "awww, who's the ickle darling..." whenever she sees some of the following (even a picture is enough): Chinchillas, hamsters, cats, or WALL-E. * This trop - oh LOOK, A PUPPY! * [[@/PikaHikariKT This troper]] is in an Animal Care class for this very reason (Her internship is helping with the cats waiting to be adopted at Petsmart. KITTY KITTY!). She just wishes she had her own pet, though -- aside from her grandparents' Golden Retriever (which recently died), the landlord gave the thumbs down when she went to an animal shelter for a kitty. The ten year old troper was crushed.:(

* This troper has a severe weakness for cats to the point that he's the {{XKCD}} strip incarnate, often stopping to say hello if he sees a cat walking down the street. * @/UnitOmega owns a very cute looking kitty, who's moods vary from "If you touch me I will smack you" to "Meh, you ''may'' pet me". No matter the cat's attitude, he feels the need to pet, pick up, hug, etc. almost anytime he enters the same room as her and she's lounging around. And then probably a couple times more, for good measure. Occasionally I even add in the cliched "KITTY!" or "CUTE!". The aforementioned {{XKCD}} is really very true, if you like cats. * @/DesertDragon is like this with turtles. Even in the rare instance that he plays up the ScaryBlackMan image, it will completely dissolve when he's in the presence of a shelled reptile. Puppies and kitties are cute too, but turtles' cuteness isn't limited by age (even though they're ''adorable'' as hatchlings). His Troll Shaman in ''WorldOfWarcraft'' did the Children's Week quests for the sole reason of getting Speedy as a non-combat pet. ** You too? Well, [[@/{{SAMAS}} This Troper]] doesn't play WoW, but he's pretty much the same way. Also around small children. * Bring in a puppy or kitten anywhere near where I'm staying for a while for whatever reason, and watch me keep coming back to it. Usually with an "AW LOOK IT'S A PUPPY!". I don't care if you think I'm less manly for it. I'll gladly trade man-points for another chance to pet that soft fur and look at those adorable puppy eyes and um... yeah. Fortunately, I also have a fairly cute dog at home, and I end up facing the uncontrollable urge to pet her whenever I lay eyes on her. * Having a dog or other small fuzzy animal in the area is a surefire way to derail even the most serious discussion that @/{{Katsuhagi}} is having, which makes the cracking of her {{Unfunny}} demeanor even more hilarious. * I like KITTIES! *huggles kitty*. I am also an personality-wise abnormal 14 year old boy. * [[@/KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper]] will almost always yell "Kitty!" when she sees a cat, before going to pet it. Also, upon seeing kittens, puppies, or other baby animals/pictures of them (except humans, she can't ''stand'' those), said troper will gasp loudly, and suffer what she likes to call 'intellectual failure'. And then she'll probably hug something. * [[@/{{Muselette}} This troper's]] usual response to seeing a cat is to give a genuine {{Squee}} of "Kitty!" and drop whatever she's doing to go pet it. This only happens with cats, however, as this troper was rather frightened of dogs for a long time after being attacked by a Chow Chow as a child. * This troper absolutely loves babies, and will audibly go, "Aww! He/She's so cute!" to every small child, of course I try not to kiss and hug them since that would be creepy. * This Troper's girlfriend is allergic to cats. And yet, whenever she's near a particularly fluffy one, *snuggle* -->'''Troper's Girlfriend''': I can't help it! They're so poofy! * This troper's mother. She'll start {{Squee}}ing and grinning and generally acting like her IQ had dropped 20 points all of a sudden. Troper herself is a DeadpanSnarker JerkAss, so she'll do her best to

keep her mother away from their two cats as much as possible. Or run away. * This troper is usually very calm and polite and prefers either sitting in corners and drawing or lurking in the shadows to be creepy, to being with people (except very close friends). It quite surprises people when she bursts out squeeing over any of the following: cats, birds, foxes, snakes, squirrels, mice, [[CuteShotaroBoy shota characters]], fluffy moments in manga/fanfics/etc., and {{Yandere}} characters. ** ...[[BreadEggsMilkSquick Repeat that last one.]] ** This troper seconds that last one. Aww, what a cute widdle psychopath. :3 *** [[MoreThanMindControl Same here, the fact that they want to yours forever, and they have the cutest expressions. Awww...]] * Not [[@/{{Smerf}} this]] troper, but his teacher. A normally wellspoken, calm individual (and one of the hardest testers he's ever had), she breaks down into baby speak when there's an infant around. * This troper managed to get his hands on a baby fox, his mind shuts off the instant he sees him. "OH MY GOD THE TINY WIDDLE BEHBEE FOXEEE I WUB YOU SO MUCH YOU BLOOBLOOBLOO" * [[@/{{Kaizykat}} This Troper]] breaks into this whenever there is a baby animal around. She gushes so much that people ''stop to stare at her.'' Her voice also changes from a very deep female voice to the voice of a three year old. * There's a rather elderly mountain lion at the zoo I'm friends with, as much as one is ever friends with a large carnivore. When I visit her, she'll come right up to the fence to rub against it while she purrs and chatters as I talk to her. I live a good seventy miles from the zoo now, so I don't get out there as often as I used to. The last time I went to the zoo I was almost sure she'd passed on, since she'd been old and I hadn't seen her in nearly a year. But she came running up to the fence yelling at me when I walked by the cougar pen, and I don't know if it was surprise or relief or what, but the first things I said to her were "Sweetheart, hello! How've you ''been,'' pretty? Are you a nice kitty? ''Yes,'' you're a ''very'' nice kitty! Oh who's my sweet girl?" To an animal that's smaller than usual and ''still'' has teeth as long as my finger, and who would probably be pretty damned not-sweet if that fence weren't between us. ** This troper finds that adorable, and is laughing at the mental image of the expressions on the faces of all witnesses to that. * [[@/{{Lullabee}} This troper]]'s younger sister is a scruffy {{tomboy}} who acts rather cynical and often kind of grumpy. But she totally melts in the presence of ''anything'' cute. ** Does [[Tropers/{{G-Mon}} this troper]] have an alter ego that posted this while he was asleep? * This troper has found it much easier to not hate a socially accepted, frequently JerkAss HandsomeLech since seeing the stupid grin that takes over his face around a cat. Also, my friends' [[{{Squee}} squeeing]] may have permanently damaged my hearing. They've even created what can be best described as a 'sad'' squee which they voice upon seeing anything dead. Including worms and squashed snails. * This troper is usually very calm and collected. She always has a

neutral expression on her face, and has a hard time showing emotions. Unless she sees a dog, cat, or heck... any sort of animal really except for snakes and bugs. Recently, she was walking in the park with her parents, who were commenting on how she never seems fazed by anything. Cue golden retriever puppy and this troper squealing "Ohmygod, puppy! Lookit the puppy! The cute widdle puppy-wuppy! Awwwww!" for a good minute. Troper's parents couldn't stop laughing. * If you ever meet this troper in public, you'd probably think he was at least part goth, natural stern look, tall and looks rather strong, silent a lot of the time... Put me in the same room as any number of cute animals (a.k.a. Pet animals, butterflies, fruit bats, otters, some kindsa' birds) and watch said goth image go right out the window. Heck, when a substitute teacher told a horror story and revealed a gigantic wolf was stalking a little boy, the only thought running through my mind was 'Awww, PUPPY!' * This Troper was once on a fishing trip, and we had a barrel of live shrimp to use as bait. Before I would actually put the shrimp on the hook and start fishing, I would first spend a couple of minutes silently gushing over how cute it was. I find a lot of weird stuff to be cute; I kid you not, I nearly squee'd at episode four of [[SaladFingers Salad Fingers]]. Also, cats. ** Wait, it's not normal to find Salad Fingers [[TheWoobie adorable?]] I may be in trouble. *** I may also be. [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Then again...]] * [[@/{{Orihime}} This Troper]] simply loses sight of anything in her surroundings whenever she sees a cat around. * [[@/{{Starshine}} This troper]] visited her friend once, who's cat had gotten [[{{understatement}} rather large]]. We declared him to be "Emperor Of All He Surveys, Lord of the Rug and Duke of the Surrounding Wood Floors", and felt the need to announce his full title whenever he entered the room. And then rub his belly. * If you allow a massive mutt to lie on your lap and lick your arm until you feel like it's going to come off and float away on a river of slobber while you tell him what a sweet, sweeeet puppy he is, this trope is probably in action. * This troper will express her sentiments ''very vocally'' when presented with images of: cats, dogs, horses, rats and mice, rabbits, any marsupial (especially possums), bats and other flying/gliding mammals, most birds, most aquatic mammals, several species of reptile, bovines, infant humans, and occasionally male humans. (It's more likely if they're ''drawn'' male humans.) Or cute fanart. My friends have matching earplugs. * This troper ''is'' this trope with all manner of cute animals and babies. She cuddles her cats and talks to them in baby talk, much to the annoyance her family (who will make fun of this troper by calling her [[TinyToonAdventures Elmyra]]). * This troper has been desribed as having a weakness for anything cute and fluffy. And Cats, I can't NOT go any pet cats I see. * This Troper knows an Girl. She's got the MostCommonSuperpower like there's no tomorrow, HartmanHips, epic curves, and is a semi-dwarf, only 4 foot something tall. Yesterday she sported pigtails. I tell you the truth, she was so cute I couldn't look at her boobs all night, and

frankly, [[InnocentFanserviceGirl I had tons of chances]]. * [[@/{{fidheallir}} This Troper's]]] usually [[{{DeadpanSnarker}} blunt and snarky]] housemate dissolved into a stream of incomprehensible [[BabyTalk Baby Talk]] ([[{{BilingualBonus}} in Russian and English!]]) at the sight of said troper's new baby leopard gecko. * This troper sometimes says "aww, what a cute little bird" at falcons and owls. They might be birds of prey, but they're still adorable. (This also applies to fictional ones, like [[TheMummyTrilogy Horus]] and [[HarryPotter Hedwig]].) * D'aww... Teen/adult male humans please. They have bigger eyes than children if you put your face close enough. :p * This troper is actually quite a misantrope for her age, people say. Basically discussing what most people put off for way later in every day conversations. Usually leaning on the morbid. She owns a dog, and even though he is 10 years old, when he's not around the carpet napping...aww....doggledogdog... :> *glomp* * [[@/{{Ryumaru}} This Troper]] once walked pass one of his school's Biology class displays an- oh, look, bunnies.... They're being raised as a class project. * This (male troper) and around his family's two cats. Imagine a highpitched falsetto: "Hello ''Sally!'' You're a little baby! A ''little baby!'' ''Ah Hello! Helloooo!'' What you doing? You having a sleepyweepy? ''Aw!'' You have a nice sleepy-weepy, Sal-Sal!" ...ahem. * I'm usually TheStoic, EmotionlessGirl, but whenever I see a really cute cat... "Awwwww! That's so [[BilingualBonus KAWAIIIIIIII]]!!!!!!!!" * This troper's circle of friends, and family, spend a lot of time working with cars. This troper has become somewhat known in her circle of friends for her adoration of junkyard cats, and tendency to shower them in love while her boyfriend and his friends go find parts. This troper has also been complimented on her devotion to her cat, who may have been somewhat neglected by its previous owner (through no fault of that owner's... own). Said devotion consists of such comments as "Barney baby booboo!" "He's my kitty witty biddy" "He's a kitty!" to the tune of Hallelujah, and other related comments, and much petting, cuddling, and playing. Some dogs, usually larger ones, all cats, children up to the age of 12 and sometimes older, snakes, lizards, and domesticated rodents usally get similar, but milder responses. Yes, snakes. Snakes are actually right up there under cats. * [[@/KennyMan666 This troper]], totally. BadassLongcoat? Check. DeadpanSnarker? Check. Going {{Squee}} upon seeing things like kittens or spiders? Check the [[BlasphemousBoast likes of which God has never seen]]. Yes, I find spiders extremely cute and interesting - my friend has severe arachnophobia, and I'm essentially her polar opposite in that regard. * This Troper, especially with cats and kittens. She's usually a Kuudere but around a cute little fuzzy cat... * Subverted by this troper's best friend. He's usually stoic and a little on the antisocial side, until he sees his dog and dissolves into a mess of affection. ''Then'' the dog does something stupid and my friend is back to grumbling and cursing at the dog.

* [[@/{{Robbychu}} This Troper]], while fairly chipper, is intensely shy and has a history of going into periods of hating the universe. Then she sees a puppy, kitty, birdy, turtle, [[WhatMeasureIsANonCute shark, hyena, lizard, bat,]] ect. and goes into [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny KITTY! mode]], which includes her focus going entirely to the animal in question, dragging other people to see them, and having her voice shoot up to glass-shattering range. The happiest moment of 2010 so far? The lorikeet exhibit at the zoo. Birdies! She hates squirrels, though. They steal food from the birdies. Birdybirdybirdies~ ** Above troper sounds like the female version of [[@/{{CyberXigbar}} this one]]. Well, except for the squirrels, he finds those aww~dorable too. * I have a friend who is quite a LargeHam and who, whenever she sees a dog ''anywhere'', will proceed to coo, "Puppyyyy! Puppy puppy puppy...", etc. She has two dogs at home, and, being at college, she misses them. * One time this troper's male friend was really angry, stomping around throwing things and cursing like a sailor. My other friend calmly held up a picture of a baby chinchilla. The first friend immediately halted his rampage and dissolved into "Awww! ^_^"s. I still can't believe that actually worked. * [[@/MayaTH This troper]] reacts this way to her pet hamster. The hamster is fully aware of his own cuteness and likes to use it to his advantage as much as possible. If he wants attention, he knows that if he puts a front paw on the bars of his cage and stares up at me, I'll melt into a puddle of {{Squee}} and not stop petting him until he gets bored of being petted and wanders off. He also gets very annoyed if people are having a conversation near his cage, because he is so used to anyone near his cage speaking BabyTalk to him and doesn't like it when he's not center of attention. Even my mother and grandmother, both of whom are scared of rodents, find my hamster adorable. * This Trope has a running joke about this trope and a picture of [[ Baby]] [[Main/AceAttorney Godot!]] * This troper's younger sister has a bit of a problem with this. Luckily, he has so far resisted the urge to strangle said sister. * I always gets a goofy smile whenever I'm near cats. Apparently it's kind of disturbing since I'm usually quite surly, so seeing me smile like that freaks my friends out. * This rather jaded troper developed an extreme case of this towards both humans and animals due growing up with her [[strike:batshit insane]] [[CloudCuckooLander goofy]] mother, who is even worse. * This slightly insane troper goes completely nuts whenever he's near an animal. Any kind of animal. Cats, dogs, rabbits, goats, toads, snakes, turtles, lizards, spiders, birds, eckcetera, eckcetera. Averted once when this troper was [[{{Squee}} squeeing]] at large lizard. Said lizard climbed up his jeans. And stayed there. He tried to shake it off, but he can't. Then he lost it and screamed like a little girl. Then the lizard hop off and this trope was in full effect again. * This Troper is very proud of her loud, {{Jerkass}} nature, topped with a serving of DeadpanSnarker and a side of LargeHam. Cue her

sisters. CutenessProximity in full swing, she'll gush and squee over everything they do, BabyTalk, and a [[BigBrotherInstinct Big Sister Instinct]] will give away what my friend described as "The [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold heart]] that no one is ever prepared for" * In this Troper's family, we have a big black lab/border collie mix and a small tricolor purebred border collie. Twice a day, everyday, we engage in "The Daily Worshiping of the Puppies". We are unashamed. * This troper finds dogs and cats adorable. She also does this when she sees cute kids. And while poor [[TheLastAirbender Noah Ringer]] cannot act (She blames the director), she finds him adorkable. * I'm usually quite a stoic person and even the cutest of animals and children don't turn me into some sort of squealing mess...until recently that is. A few days ago I was helping a friend babysit another friends baby daughter and after dressing her for bed found myself going ‘[[TastesLikeDiabetes D'aw, awen't you da cutest, pwettiest wittle girl! Yes you are! Yes you are!]]’ and nearly melted when she giggled. Cue '...did I just hear you coo over a baby?' and a smirk from the friend. Also, despite my allergies, I couldn't help but pick up and cuddle the newly born litter of kittens. * [[@/CyberBlade This Troper]] has this in every meaning of the phrase. All cats are adorable and need immediate petting. All dogs are puppies, as well. That violent, drooling, currently-engaged-inripping-out-your-spine guard dog? A puppy. Only exacerbated by having enough strength, pian tolerance, and biological (appendage's range of motion most specifically) know-how to be confident (note use of "confidence" instead of "experience") enough to think he can restrain most dogs long enough for a (probably functional) bear hug. Combine this with utilizing his ability to accurately replicate a number of high pitched animal noises (most cat noises and dog whining) to confuse/attract them long enough to pounce. Oh, and it's not just cats and dogs actually. If it's got fur, it is automatically in need of a big hug. * This Troper is almost 20 years old... and is like this with ''stuffed'' animals. * This troper actually managed to avoid getting her grade lowered by her Computer Science teacher by being so cute. :D * When This Troper was about 9 he thought his newborn cousin was the most adorable baby girl ever. She just got even cuter after the awkward "shriveled pink infant" phase. Now that he is in his mid 20's and she is old enough to start considering what college she wants to attend...he ''still'' thinks she is the cutest baby girl ever. Turnabout is fair play, since her mother (this troper's aunt) treats him this way too. * Being a NightmareFetishist and a FriendToAllLivingThings, this trope is an inevitability for me whenever I'm around a baby anything, be it a kitten, puppy, or Chupacabra. I'm also this way around my three cats by default, seeing that I raised them from the bottle I'm the closest thing to a mother they have. Did you know that, when you bottle feed a kitten, sometimes their ears simultaneously twitch? Squee! * This troper is quite tall and has a look that suggests that he's pissed off all the time, but when he gets close to his cat all he can think about is the widdle tabby boo and the cute widdle boo paws!

* [[{{Tropers/Joerc45}} This troper]] issues the following statement: "Do not overly expose him to cute things for long periods of time, it causes extraordinary changes in his cognitive faculties, reasoning ability, and overall intelligence. In recent studies, it seems his sudden IQ drop is in direct correlation with the rise in cuteness levels in his proximity.":) * I squee over babies (they seem to love me!), and also animals, whether its cats, dogs, rats, snakes or spiders... * One of the few ways to get [[Tropers/{{Animenutcase}} This Troper]] to break her [[TheStoic stoic-ness]] is to-(gasp!) IS THAT A KITTY/PUPPY/(insert adorable animal of your choice here)!? [[{{Squee}} It's so cute]]! Can I [[ImTakingHerHomeWithMe take it home]]? * My neighbourhood is crawling with latchkey cats. I can't help but take a few minutes to pet them, and if no one is around, coo to them. Cue: "Who's a cute kitty? You're so handsome, yes you are!" Sometimes leads to embarrassing moments when people walk by. * This troper walks by the same pet shop every day, with a cat in the window. Many a time I have seen people reduced to babbling nonsense as they walk by and notice the cat. Just today I found myself cooing to the kitty.. she was scared of the leaves falling! * When {{@/Tidal_Wave_17}} see's something adorable, expect him to go "D'aaawww!" and start saying things like "D'aren't you just so wahdorable!" * [[{{Tropers/Fungal88}} This tropette]] loves cuteness so much, she gushes about it whenever she comes across anything that she finds simply adorable, whether it's real or fictional, and the protagonist in ''AnAmericanTail'', one of her all-time favourite movies, is definitely no exception. Speaking of which, she often goes as far as to think that a bunch of cuteness-loving teenage girls might have went crazy over how cute he is when they [[SchoolStudyMedia watched it in their history classes]], despite never having said experience like that herself. * Okay, [[@/SoWeAteThem I]] was never clear headed to begin with. But when one frequent visitor to the commons lounge brought along her pet rat, I all but transformed into [[InvaderZim GIR]]. For the next few hours (Look, it's a while between classes, OK?) I was bent over the fuzzy sucker's cage, grinning and blabbering incoherently about its cuteness, and taking every available opportunity to pet it even after it had crawled down a fellow student's jacket. (Said colleague was male, it was up his sleeve, I'm nuts, not suicidal.) * This troper's squeetastic moments are caused by baby lemurs and sugar gliders. Granted I don't really approve of sugar gliders as pets even though they're legal where I live, if only because most people don't have the discipline to properly care for one. * [[{{Tropers/TedAsanto}} Ted Asanto]] here: as long as it's a clean domestic pet rodent, feline or canine not trying to get nasty, I would ''love'' to stroke it. And what a trait: ItRunsInTheFamily, too, for the most part, which is why my family owns a domestic cat. * This troper's family around- COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORGGGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII *ahem* * I found my way into a pet store this morning. They had rabbits and dwarf hamsters, and THEY LET ME PET THEM. I've been going into random

cuteness squee mode for the rest of the day. (OH MY GOSH THE HAMSTERS WERE LITTLER THAN GOLF BALLS AND ONE OF THEM KEPT GRABBING MY FINGER AND THE BUNNIES ALL CAME UP TO ME AND STOOD ON THEIR HIND LEGS TO LOOK AT ME AND THEY WERE SO CUTE I AM GOING TO DIE NOW.) I also do this with puppies, kittens, and toddlers. And snakes, on occasion. * This troper routinely makes references to his broken cuteness meter. He once even jokingly threatened to sue a friend for the costs of repairs after her hamster effectively pummeled it into the ground. (I have a weak spot for rodents in particular. Yes, this includes mice.) * Anne Beeche fondly remembers a psychology class in which a random teacher from next door brought in a husky puppy. Hilarity ensued. Everybody was petting and loving the dog for the rest of the period. * This troper's reaction to a plastic [[{{Pokemon}} Wooper]] with the most adorable smile ever. You can laugh now. * One of the local priests in my town (a retiree who lives closeby) recently got a puppy that his fellow priests share and take care of. I got to meet said puppy a few days ago. It was a black Lab that reminded me of a dog that belonged to another priest back when I was a kid. I immediately went, "Hi there! Where did you get those eyes? You're so cute, yes you are!" * This troper will see animals, usually dogs (not big dogs) and cats, and disolve into a giant puddle of cooing baby talk. As I am usually fairly [[TheQuietOne quiet]] and somewhat [[TheStoic stoic]], everyone around me will simultaneously disolve into giant puddles of "What the hell?" * This level-headed, stoic, strong-stomached troper skips the coherent part and moves straight to the babbling. 'Kipugabadadadadakubakubikababaaaaaa[insert more random syllables here, which have slight connection to the words which would be said if my brain wasn't turned to mush by cuteness].' Though, I guess I do have an [[YaoiFangirl underlying condition]]... * This troper was at the mall today and saw these little Girl Scouts selling cookies. One of them was wearing a cookie costume and she looked so adorable I couldn't even look at her for too long. * I once had an argument with my brother, leading to me leaving the room in full anger mode. Cue my cat running into said room with me chasing just behind it yelling "KITTY!" with arms outstretched, anger completely gone. While it's not unknown for me to act strange like this, this still was very unexpected for my brother. * So [[Tropers/{{MiraShio}} I'm]] the girl who took taekwondo classes, enjoys ''TheHungerGames'' series in all its morbid glory, is sometimes physically stronger than some guys, can watch nearly any horror film without scrambling away, and then squees like a five-year-old when presented with tiny animals. Especially meerkats. * Normally I'm a [[DeadpanSnarker Deadpan Snarker]] and a Kuudere with a [[PungeonMaster quirky]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice sense]] [[GallowsHumor of]] [[BlackComedy humor]]. Now, imagine a fine day where I'm walking down the street with my guy, [[ItMakesSenseInContext making a joke involving the band Dying Fetus]]. Then, all of a sudden I see a pug walking our way. In such a situation, I'll squee and exclaim, "D'AWW! It's a cute widdle pug wid its squished-in face! D'ohhh it's so adorable!! Whosa cute widdle pug? You are!

Idjywidjywoo!" ^.^ (This was basically my reaction when I went to my boyfriend's house for the first time and saw his rabbit.) A more mild version of this is if I'm talking with a friend of mine and, upon seeing a cat walking by, saying "Hi, Random Cat!" Animals that also invoke this reaction in me are snakes, rats, baby alligators, and possums. * [[@/DogLikeSparky I]] am a rather bizarre example of this. I'm not particularly fond of animals, just being anywhere near a baby for more than ten seconds is enough to put me on edge (the only thing worse than the babbling and squealing and getting in the way people call "cuteness" is the screaming). However, I am not made of stone. There is a Worlds of Wonder-era Teddy Ruxpin in my closet. I bought him at a yard sale a little more than a year ago. He's my third; as much as I loved them, neither of the two I had as a youngster could withstand the way I treated them. Every time I spend more than a few seconds with him I'm overcome with both deep and unabiding love for him and a sense of guilt and loss in regards to the lost dolls. Dwelling on it for an extended period of time is enough to bring me to the verge of tears. * This troper had a six-year-old friend when she was younger who was just adorable. I used to ask her to smile for me, because she looked so adorable when she smiled. (Something tells me she didn't like it that much.) I also get this way around my cat when he lies with me at night. * This troper listens to death metal, watches and reads disturbing anime and manga, and will melt into a puddle of goo if presented with a small animal with big shiny eyes and will stay that way for at least an hour, this has been used against him during arguments. It works well enough his friend carries a pad of pictures with him to stop his rants. * This troper, for some reason, becomes extremely sardonic (albeit in a kind way) around cats and babies. He swears it breeds an understanding between him and the cat/baby. There are other things that will just produce gushing, though. Like bunnies. ---Go back to... [[CutenessProximity Aw, who's a good little trope, then!]] ---<<|TroperTales|>>

CutHimselfShaving '''Before adding personal examples,''' keep in mind that this trope is about lying to cover suspicious injuries. If your father beat you one night and you tell everyone you walked into a tree, that'd be a straight example. If you really did run into a tree but people ''assume'' your father beat you, that'd be an acceptable subversion. But simply running into a tree just makes you TheKlutz. * A subversion that's almost exactly the one given as an example on the main page: This troper was present when her mother hit herself in

the face with the door and gave herself a black eye. Everyone thought she was abused (and a doctor she worked with offered to kick her boyfriend's ass!), except for her friends who knew she was a clumsy person. * This troper had an "emo" phase. Eventually, she just started making things up to see what people would believe. Apparently hammers, trampolines, bushes, pet chickens, fell down a tree, and squeezed a lightbulb are all good. Though, sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. She has a very noticable scar by her knee... Which was made by falling on a stair-stepper machine, and another one from a butter knife slicing opne a pre-cut bagel. * Clumsiness runs in this troper's family, and he has had the darnedest time explaining to people that his horrible injuries were actually inflicted in this manner. ** This troper does that on occasion. She once had the misfortune of a particularly egregious one in ''shorts weather'', and consequently had a terrible time explaining to her parents that the gigantic angry bleeding slash on her thigh looked far worse than it actually was. ** This troper is extremely clumsy (able to throw over two glasses within 5 minutes) and extremely prone to bruising. And has an brother that likes 'playful' fighting and is much bigger than she is. This results in the trope being zigzagged and subverted; people have asked her if she was being slapped, after doing something clumsy, and ignored one giant bruise caused by a 'playful' fight. * This troper once injured himself by not paying attention and running into his father. The doctors at the ER gave his father some funny looks until he reinjured himself through clumsiness in the examination room. ** This troper's little sister got into a very similar situation when she was young. She was extremely clumsy and was always falling down and bruising herself. One afternoon she cut her head open and was rushed to the emergency room, where the doctor that treated her got incredibly suspicious of all the bruises. It was only when this troper got into an argument with her little brother over which of the bruises were from where that the ER staff relaxed. * This troper once fell off of a sidewalk and ''cut his wrists on the edge''. Naturally, everyone makes the assumption that it was done on purpose. Additionally, he owns many, many knives and swords, and enjoys cooking. So burns and cuts are fairly natural, and again assumed to be done intentionally. Because everyone is an EmoTeen, apparently. * This troper was so clumsy as a toddler that Social Services investigated her parents. The vaguely Potter-esque scar on her forehead is ''not'' the result of dark magic or parental abuse - she tripped and hit her head on a radiator. ** I did that (the radiator bit, except it was over my right eye) and nothing happened. Then again, it was at the swimming pool when I was young. Some people used to joke that I looked a bit like a gangster and never believed the truth. ** I've split my lip on a radio, not a radiator, but hey, it sounds close enough. * Not cuts, but [[{{Momonga}} this troper]] developed allergies

several years ago (supposedly to grass, but seeing as this troper barely comes in contact with grass, she claims she's "allergic to life") with the result that she gets huge swellings occasionally, most often on her arms or legs but sometimes on her face, with no discernible cause. The first occurrence was after having spent the night (no, not [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean that way]]) at her boyfriend's apartment - she woke up in the middle of the night and noticed that her upper lip felt odd, but soon fell back asleep. In the morning, a look in the mirror showed that said lip was horribly swollen, as if it had been punched. She felt quite awkward riding the bus alone back to her dorm, especially when the bus driver said "Did someone hit you? D'you need me to beat him up for you?" Troper did her best to stay out of sight until the swelling went away. Next time it was her eye... luckily the ones on her limbs are more readily identifiable as allergic reactions. * This troper enjoys lying about a surgery scar he has on his right hand that zig-zags, and then goes straight. It looks quite ghastly with the slight bulging from uneven healing and stich scars along it, not to mention the 4 inches it is in length. The lie he tends to give is something along the lines of a ninja attack, when in reality he has a genetic defect causing nerve damage, and had surgery to counter-act the problem. * This troper once had a scratch on her arm that, if it wasn't so far down her arm and so shallow, might have looked like she cut herself purposely. What had actually happened was that a book (Rurouni Kenshin volume 1) fell off the shelf in her locker as she was reaching for something, and the corner of the plastic covering the library used to cover it to protect it nicked her. She finds it mildly amusing. * This extremely clumsy and sensory defensive troper's mother's stress levels plummeted when she turned eighteen. She was always worried that someone would call child services because of this troper's rarely bruiseless state and tendency to yell like she was smacked over the head with a hammer when simply tapped on the shoulder. * DesertDragon's accident prone nature as a child led to near constant scrapes, bruises, and cuts. As he's also naturally rail thin, he's become quite familiar with the "Is there anything going on at home that you want to talk about?" conversation with teachers. * This troper's friend had to make up one of these stories to tell to her mom, after her sister accidentally hit her in the face with a shovel. She has a hardcore scar on her eyebrow now. * This troper has no belly button any more due to getting a cyst around that location. Belly button now looks like an eye socket after the surgery. So said troper is thinking of coming up with ways to explain to people other than nurses, doctors, police officers, and family on how he got this almond shaped scar on his stomach. Said troper is thinking o fusing some kind of ninja knife fighting story. Said troper should also explain to people his 5-inch scar on his ass from a reconstructive operation. * [[{{Indigo}} This troper]] has a friend who's an ER nurse. Apparently "I fell on it" is a very common excuse for finding diverse items in a certain orifice - despite raising the question of how one can believably fall onto a cucumber while naked.

** Would this hospital happen to have an [[{{Scrubs}} "ass box"?]] * [[DarthSaturnina This troper]] wears a lot of black and one day got into a fight with her pet cat. Almost everyone at school assumed the scratches on her arm were a result of self-mutilation. Had a bitch of a time trying to explain it, too. ** That happened to a friend of mine who owned cats - she submitted a slightly depressed poem to an English competition, and the English teacher sent her to the counselor. She had some rather unfortunate cat scratches on her wrists that day... but nothing ever came of it. ** On a related note, some friends of [[{{Skazka}} this troper]] who self mutilate ''do'' explain it away as "oh, the cat scratched me." In perfectly symmetrical, equally spaced and pressured lines. Of seven scratches each. Multiple times. Only on one arm. It is convincing no one, and only serves to make the people who ''do'' love you and care about you increasingly worried. (This troper, however, is also recovering from a habit of self harm, and finds it disturbing how many people really do take "oh, I have really dry skin on my arms and I scratch it in my sleep" as a suitable explanation for a several-inchlong gash hidden carefully under gauze and long sleeves.) *** This troper actually does have dry skin and periodically winds up with gashes like that. Not just on the arms though. :/ ** [[PomRania This troper]] once explained away a blood spot on the carpet (I think you can tell where it came from) as being from a nosebleed. This was believable as I do frequently get nosebleeds and don't particularly care about cleaning up after them; however, ever since the truth came out, I always have to say that yes, it really WAS a nosebleed. * This troper isn't sure if this fits here, but she had a variation of this kind of thing today. I had gotten a tattoo on my arm that was leaking blood through the plastic wrap down my arm. This sweet young lady working the register at a Boston Market looks at me ordering my food and keeping a napkin at the lower end of the plastic wrap and says, "Oh, you hurt yourself?" with an appologetic kind of look on her face. I smiled back and said, "Nah, just a tattoo." She kinda moved back a bit and laughed quietly. I can't wait to explain why I can't move my arm too much over the next few weeks. * This troper has on two occasions given herself ''beautiful'' black eyes. Once aged thirteen, during a rounders game at school where she tripped over her feet and skidded face first for ten feet on grass. The other time when she fell over drunk and hit her bespectacled face on a towel rail. Yeah. * In third grade I was playing cops and robers with my friends in the schools parking lot which doubled as our playground (my school wasn't exactly poor, just miserly) I had just caught one of my friends, when I triped over ''something'' (eather a pebble or a classmates foot, I didn't see it and it was about 50/50 what story I heard from those who did) instead of letting go like a smart person, I held on to my friends ankles while she was still running, resulting in scrapes that my mother afectionatly termed "narghly road rash" on my ''face'' for the rest of the year. Thank God it was after picture day or I don't know what I would have done. * This troper's cousin recently overbalanced at the top of a concrete

flight of stairs. She called a friend to drive her to the hospital and... well, you can guess the kinds of looks he was getting. He's refused to take her anywhere until she gets better. * This troper has a clumsy friend who bruises easily. She dates a tough-looking guy (who is actually a complete pussycat) and is frequently seen with bruises all over her arms. Not everybody believes the clumsiness explanation. * A friend of mine used to date a guy she knew from her martial arts class. She reports that matter of factly stating that the bruises were, in fact, from her boyfriend hitting her (in class) got odd looks from her co-workers. * This troper USED to be horribly clumsy when living in the city/suburbs. We had a flight of concrete steps and a metal railing that she would fall down every week.Then she moved to the farm,and of course,quickly had to grow out of that.Clumsy + farm = death or serous injuries!\\ \\ She has so many scars that doctors would ask if she was being abused,causing this troper to be offended. Then she looked closely at herself and realized...goddamn she has a lot of scars...\\ \\ My dad FacePalms at my frequent injuries. To date,i haven't broken a single bone--just cracks and a few dislocation,bruises,scrapes,cuts,burns,and punctures. * This troper gave herself two matching so-dark-as-to-be-''black'' bruises in the soft parts of her shoulders by falling off a swing. (Look, the chains were industrial-style chain, and my arms stayed on the swing while the rest of me came down...) They aren't quite symmetrical, but apparently they do look like someone pinned me down with their thumb forced under my arm and the rest of their fingers holding down my shoulders. Which makes people [[RapeAsDrama worry.]] In a fandom example, the crack sector of the roleplay this troper was in had [[TanzDerVampire Herbert von Krolock]] explain away being covered in human [[LesbianVampire blood]] with repeatedly walking into the same door. When asked why it's coming from his mouth, "I chipped a tooth." (And in a less comic example, from the same roleplay, [[LesMiserables Feuilly]] was apparently a [[AbusiveParents clumsy adolescent]]. Not because of his parents, as he's an orphan, but at the hands of his employer.) * This troper has a not-quite-as-funny example- she has a few scars on her legs because she had a seizure while her cat was sleeping in the bed next to her and scared the ever-living daylights out of him. However, they ''look'' like they were self-inflicted. The fact that the real story is so bizarre doesn't really help. * [[DeltaOne This Troper]] went to the police station to complete some paperwork. Leaving the office, he tripped and fell down a short flight of stairs. That's right, a young man walked out of the police station with a black eye and a nosebleed telling everyone "I fell down the stairs! Honest!" * What This Troper claimed to have done, during an emo phase where she actually did cut herself with a brand-new pack of razors. All. Over. The. Legs. There was so much blood while I was doing it that it was

literally dripping right off my skin. Beautiful and horrific. I swore never to do it again. * [[{{Chamale}} This Troper]]'s sister was a very accident-prone kid. It's hard to make doctors believe your kid telling them she "fell down the stairs" and "walked off a chair" within months of each other. When they were a bit older, they used to have [[TemptingFate falling-downthe-stairs races]]. * Inversion here. I managed to cut my lip open, but managed to play it off like I was punched intervening in a fight at school. * [[{{Malendras}} This Troper]] (using first person now) gets a lot of cuts and scrapes at my job. We use razor blades to cut open skids and boxes. I once accidentally gave myself a nasty cut on my wrist with a razor. I went into school the next day, and when asked how I got the the cut, absent-mindedly replied "Razor blade." Cue worried looks, and me attempting to assure them it was an accident. It ended after a trip to the counselor's office where I convinced her I was not, in fact, depressed or suicidal. * This troper likes to invert this one. When he first cut himself shaving, he blamed the small cut on a bear attack. It's only gotten sillier from there. ** My dad does this too. Every wound supposedly came from a long forgotten war years ago. * Inverted by me, I have scars on my left arm that look like I cut myself, but actually one of them is a burn caused by the edge of a hot baking tray, one is from the cat and some of them are from my little sister scratching me. Unfortunately played straight (most of the time, im really not sure what to think...) with my friend, who was abused, but also is the clumsiest person in the world. She had so many accidents from falling over and stuff that when her boyfriend actually was hitting her, everyone thought she was just being her usual clumsy self. * A(nother) time back in grade school, I was minding my own business in art class while some kids the next table over were messing around. One of them threw a blue marker at another, but it missed its target and hit me in the eye. With the cap off. I tried to wash the ink off, but only succeeded in smearing it. By the end of the day, I'd more or less forgotten about it, until I got home and walked in on my dad, who looked up and spluttered, "Who gave you a black eye?!" * A strange subversion. This troper used to compulsively pick her pimples open until they bled during class. Then someone would worriedly say, "Umm...! You're bleeding!" I was always too embarrassed to explain what had happened, so I made up excuses. My wackiest one: "I was walking the other day while holding a pencil. I tripped and stabbed myself in the face. The scab occasionally bleeds." * This troper has a few subversions, and a strange aversion. This, occasionally dumb, troper had her arm under an oven rack while pulling food out. The scars left from those burns are often mistaken for cut scars. This troper was also accidently punched by a guy (while he is an idiot, he didn't do it on purpose), and many people thought he had done it to be mean. And when this troper when a toddler, she developed Henoch-Shonlein Purpura, which left her unable to walk, and the legs

literally looked broken. Said troper's parents were investigated to see if there was any abuse. * This Troper has bruises on his arm and a busted foot. He freely admits that it was the result of slipping in the shower. The part he leaves out is that he slipped due to...[[{{ADateWithRosiePalms}} well, recoil]]. ** Please excuse @/DesertDragon while he dies laughing. * [[LadyShadowflame This troper]], when very young, broke her arm when she crawled off her mother's bed. Child protective services proceeded to investigate her home life. Fortunately, the woman took one look at the way this troper was charging about everywhere getting into mischief, and realised any injuries were definitely accidental. On a slightly related note, she once passed off reddened puffy eyes from crying over online drama as having "tried out some foundation and it got in my eyes." * [[{{smittykins}} I]] was sledding with my husband behind our house when I flipped the plastic disc I was using and my face struck a rock, giving me a cut below my right eye and breaking my glasses. Although no one directly accused my husband of hitting me, it was definitely implied in the stares and the "are you ''sure'' that's how it happened?" tone of voice from a lot of people. It didn't help that my husband was known for his temper(although he never did lay a hand on me in anger). * Somewhat of a double subversion: A high school friend of this troper's was a martial artist whose boyfriend accidentally kicked her in the face while sparring one day. Rather than lie ''or'' explain the whole truth about the nasty cut on her face, she cheerfully told people her boyfriend was responsible and left them to draw their own conclusions. * [[{{bettername2come}} This Troper]] once used this line on an annoyingly nosy kid at school after cutting herself on the leg by [[YouWouldntBelieveMeIfIToldYou walking into barnacles on the steps of her best friend's pier.]] She then felt guilty for lying and told the truth. It was not believed until my friend confirmed the story. Eleven years later and the scar's still there. * After performing some self-injury with a compass point, a classmate asked if they were cat scratches. I said "Yeah. Sure." * Subversion. [[@/DialgaX This Troper]] has three faint scars on his wrist. Everyone assumed he self-mutilated. The scars are [[spoiler: from slipping and falling and then cutting his wrist on a tape dispenser.]] * A fried of this Troper was recently assaulted and his chin split. A night in A&E and some stitches later he came into work and joked that he'd cut himself saving. The kicker? The cut was under a BEARD. * One of this Troper's previous girlfriends got rather extensive bruising on most of her body during our relationship, for a laugh we both joked that the bruises were from her cutting herself shaving and other nonsensical things, although it stopped being funny when people accused me of abuse. We had to sit all our friends down in a circle and explain to them what was [[{{CasualKink}} REALLY]] going on. Well we tried to, but just kept bursting out in laughter. * [[@/LanceOmikron This Troper]] once scraped the heel of his hand

after falling off a bike, leaving a very big scab for a while. A few days afterwards he went to a MagicTheGathering tournament, and if asked about the huge scab, played this trope for laughs by claiming it was from a "freak shuffling accident". * This troper's cousin broke his arm falling off his bike. Unfortunately, since my uncle is a tall and heavy guy who has {{no indoor voice}}, people assumed that he had a short temper and was therefore abusive. Truth is, he's a {{gentle giant}}...who just has {{no indoor voice}}. * This troper showed up at summer camp with rather obvious scars on her chest, where they're covered by her clothes. After she finished changing on the first night, the other people in my dorm kept asking her about her family life. At the same summer camp, she experienced a ''psychological'' version of this - her favorite places are corners (the smaller the space she's in, the better), where she generally remains absolutely silent. Combined with the scars, some people came to [[AbusiveParents the obvious conclusion]]. She actually has no idea where the scars came from. They've been there as long as she can remember. And the hiding in corners is because she likes to watch people going about their lives. * [[{{Tropers/Crowqueen}} This troper]] was sunbathing when their aunt's Staffy got spooked and hit her in the eye, giving her quite a nice shiner. A day or two later in Manchester Station she had cause to go to the police about something and they questioned her closely as to what had happened with the eye, only letting the matter drop when she named the breed of dog that hit her. ---Go back to CutHimselfShaving...and don't forget to take some Band-Aids with you! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon * [[Tropers.ReikoKazama This troper]], whilst holding a spoon and contemplating how to [[CrushKillDestroy slaughter]] [[KillItWithFire the]] [[KillEmAll denizens]] of [=~4Kids Entertainment~=] for the [[{{Macekre}} abomination]] that was [[{{Bowdlerise}} Mew]] [[{{Americanitis}} Mew]] [[MarketBasedTitle Power]]: "Yes... I'll, I'll sharpen this spoon, and, and cut all their hearts out with it... [[LaughingMad ahahahahahahahaha...]]" * "Such a fine appendix you have there. I would hate to have to remove it with this cup" * See that? *points to stomach* I will tie it into a balloon animal, use it as a float, rape you with this [[{{nightmare fuel}} television]], and shank your testicles off with a sheet of friggin' wax paper! OR: I will Rip out your tummy, replace it with a piranha, eat the piranha and then empty my bowels in your mouth whilst you fall into an acid covered trash compacter made of rusty nails! Hai.

* This Troper once tried to quote [[DragonballAbridged Dragon BallZ The Abridged Series]] on his friend, but it didn't really work... * This Troper often uses threats such as "I'll carve out your soul and drink it in a tea cup." or "I'll tear out your small intestine and use it to strangle you." ** I use the same one. Exactly the same. Just out of curiosity, do you sometimes append, "And then nail your arms to your eyes"? ** [[@/{{Riddick}} I'm going to kill you with my teacup?]] *** Never added that before. And Riddick had nothing to do with it... at least This Troper doesn't think it did. * [[@/{{Weaver}} This Troper's]] sister once uttered the phrase "touch the hair and I'll murder you with my bare finger nails." * [[@/{{Nomic}} This troper]] sometimes uses threats such as "I'll rip you'r lungs out and beat you to submission with them". * I'm rather fond of "Mess with me and I'll chew your face off!", or the massively more ridiculous "I'm going to kick you in the crotch so hard you'll be sneezing babies for a week!" of course said in a overthe-top scottish accent. * This troper's most common threat is to "impale you on a dictionary." * This troper tends to use "carve out your eyes with a toothpick and mail them to your family" and "I am now going to rip out your spine through your nose. It might take a few tries, so hang in there." * This troper's threats (to others and self) tend to get rather... fanciful. And disturbing. "Take a power drill to your belly button", "put your coffee mug through your face", "cut your face off and nail it to the wall", "cut ''my'' face off with a band saw and put it back on upside down"... ** Also, as of late, "I will disembowel you and pack your limbs inside your torso like a suitcase." Makes no effing sense. But fun to say. * This troper once said "I'll pin you to a museum wall like the pathetic insect that you are. Parents will tell their children "that's what a tyrany looks like, but don't be afraid, (my name) saved us from this one. Glory to me, oblivion for you!". To put this in perspective, he had said that he was going to brainwash me. ** What, no [[GoodOmens "your fate will be whispered by mothers in dark places to frighten their young"]]? * [[@/EddieVanHelsing This troper]] is fond of, "Your suffering will be legendary". Also, "I will attend your funeral" and "I will ensure that your funeral is a closed-casket affair". * I usually go for the classic "don't fuck with me, else you'll get such a heaping dose of Rainbow-Colored Brick to the face, you'll be singing ''Wizard of Oz'' ditties for a week"...that is, when I'm in a ''good'' mood... * This troper absolutely fucking HATES people in his neighborhood who play loud, shitty rap music in the wee hours of the morning. (Not that there's much for GOOD rap music.) Two choice things he has yelled off the back porch are "I'll chop off your balls and use them as ear plugs" and "Motherfucker, I will rip your cock off and shove it up your nose". * This troper's favorite threat: "I will tear off every one of your fingernails with a pair of rusty pliers and pour acid into the gaping, weeping wounds."

* One of my friends is now infamous for her rant: "I hope one day... you FALL DOWN... and two nails pierce through your eyeballs and INTO. YOUR. BRAIN! And then you'll BLEED and DIE!" * This troper's ''grandmother'' was apparently fond of the occasional threat to "tear off your arm and beat you with the bloody end of it". Oh, grandma. I love that woman like crazy. * This Tropette is fond of threatening to rip arms off and beat people with them. She also employs "If you don't shut up, I will rip your vocal cords out and STRANGLE YOU WITH THEM!" as well as "I will cut your kidney out with a rusty garden rake!" Good times, good times. ** Also, I've been threatening to "Knee you in the crotch so hard your grandsons'll be singin' soprano." Several people have pointed out to me that that is [[YouFailBiologyForever physically impossible]], but I don't care. ** Also, "I will hurt you in places you didn't know you had nerve endings." * This Troper's favorite tends to be 'I will tear out your tongue, string it up and wear it around my neck as a trophy and a warning.' * This Troper's best is "I'll rip out your lungs and feed them to you." * This Troper prefers "I will find you when you least expect it and I will bring Batman with me." Batman is badass to the ''extreme''. * One that "this troper" has been waiting to use is "I'm gonna rip your throat out, and use it as a condom while I skullfuck you!" If you're gonna be violent, then why not be colorful? * "I will kill you with a cheese grater!" Though this troper is not sure she will have an opportunity to use it outside of friendly mocking. * This Troper's friend has a lot of odd threats, putting odd accentuation on key words in the insult and each one somehow connecting to the previous threats, I.E., "I'll take this PENCIL, and shove it up your ASS! Then, I'll take your ASS, and shove it up your DICK! Then, I'll take your DICK..." And so on and so forth. His best threat was a full five minutes of him starting with a fork in the eye, and ending with robot Jesus riding on a My Little Pony crossbred with a three headed shark killing the insulted with a shotgun that shoots flaming ninjas. Also, my personal favorite is: "IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP, I WILL SERIOUSLY RIP OFF YOUR JAW AND USE IT TO DESTROY AN ARMY, GOD DAMN." ** Nice biblical allusion. * [[@/{{Magus}} This troper]] was playing a game of {{Diplomacy}} at a club in school. One of the club members was playing Austria-Hungary and this troper was playing France. The aforementioned club member threatened that if I didn't let him have four supply centers (Italy and Munich), then he would invade Spain, a project that would take five turns if I didn't intercede. * This troper will annihilate you right in the head. * [[@/{{Lord Nadir}} This Troper]] is fond of such threats and has once said "I'll kick you in the groin so hard that they have to remove your tonsils to check you for testicular cancer." * [[@/{{AntipathicZora}} This troper]] once threatened her teacher with the phrase "I will beat your ass...WITH A SPOON!" whilst holding

up a spoon in dramatic manner and pointing at it with my free hand while we were funning around. Needless to say, the teacher took it seriously and I wound up in seclusion, where she... fell on the floor laughing. I'm also quite fond of "I'm going to hit you in the mouth so hard your grand-kids are going to need dentists!" * This editor is quite fond of "Mess with me and I'll snap your arm off like a twig and beat the crap out of you!" * This troper likes to stick with "I'm gonna hang you upside-down and beat you like a pinata 'till candy comes out!" * This troper sometimes uses "I'll chew a hole in your chest, screw it, and ejaculate in your lungs 'till you drown!" Also "I'm going to scrape your scalp off with my nails and use it as a napkin!" * [[@/MisterAlways Mine]]: " I will strangle you with your own EYE..." ( Y' know, the... part that attaches it to the brain. The nerve? Optical nerve strand?... Idk.) ** " Mom, shut the knife drawer." " Why?" " Because I will gut [my sister] and wear her guts for JARRETELLS if you don't." " I'll get the key." ** " There are five ways to kill a man with his own femur. I will now demonstrate one of them on you." ** " I'll choke you with your own foot!" * This troper will find you one day with you and your beloved anime and: [[{{NeonGenesisEvangelion}} go berserk, and smash you to bits]], [[{{GundamWing}} fire a big damn gun at your corpse]] and then [[{{CodeGeass}} Geass God so he erases all knowledge from your mind and returns you as a slobbering idiot who cannot answer 2 + 2]] and [[{{DeathNote}} Matsuda will shoot you nonfatally and then Ryuk will write your name in his Deathnote.]] ** fyi, the person mentioned above never leaves his home anymore and refuses to read anything but Japanese stuff. He does nothing but translate visual novels. Waste of life and intelligence, it makes this troper sick * A couple of weeks ago, [[@/MutantRancor this troper]] came up with this gem: "I'll rip your heart out through your mouth and put it back in from the other end!" * This troper has assured his fiancee that, should she ever die or disappear under mysterious circumstances, "My vengeance will inspire operas." This troper is well aware that it's not the sort of line that he could use in the real world, as he encounters very few BigBad types there. However, he could die with a smile if he is ever able to deliver the line under appropriate circumstances. ** This troper has also wished to promise: "Do that again, and the last sight to greet your dying eyes will be of me feasting on your still-beating heart." * This troper likes to use: "I will impale you with a brick" and "I will grab your foot and shove your whole leg up your butthole". * This troper's brother once threatened to beat him to death with his drumsticks. I replied with "You hit me with your drumsticks, and I'll beat you so hard that you'll be sneezing out of your belly button!" Unoriginal, but it was still fun to say. * It's not uncommon to hear this troper say "I'm going to disembowel you through your ass with a rusty crowbar while I set you on fire and

dogs eat you alive after you've been impaled on super-charged spikes wrapped in barbed wire with your hands nailed to your back and one of your ribs removed!" * In [[@/{{NickTheSwing}} this troper's]] fanfic/ CrisisCrossover, a character named Zeltha V swears he will "cut out Axis' (from Sara Douglass' series The Wayfarer Redemption) heart and eat it with a fork and knife, and maybe that will, in being so much more vile than your murder of your brother, bring back my cousin. You never tried to turn him good, you were so blind with rage." [[AFateWorseThanDeath Axis at the end wishes Zeltha had just done that.]] [[ColdBloodedTorture Oh no, Mister Starman, you get a lot worse than that!]] * From when This Troper worked at a restaurant, he had a whole little speech: "If I see one more half-eaten steak--''one''--I am going to grab the first two things at hand which at the moment are [(a ladle and a collander/a bunch of corncob holders and a dish sponge/a pair of salad tongs and a turkey baster) pick example of choice] and start giving surprise appendectomies to everyone within fifty yards, probono." * This troper has used "my scarf will devour your soul", "strap you to something extremely uncomfortable and dissect you with a blunt scalpel" "stab you to death with this plastic spoon" and my favorite, "stop or i will sing opera at you" * This troper is shocked by the lack of metaphysical threats here. Personally, he likes cursing people in Lovecraftian methods. * "I am going to hurt you so badly you will wish you were dead! Then you WILL be dead, because I will have killed you so hard, that you'll just be a puddle of blood! And then, I will keep you in a jar, and throw you at people I don't like!" ** Another threat that is too ridiculously long to describe ends up with the victim hanging from a tree by a rope tied to his teeth without a lower jaw or any limbs and covered in burns. * Not exactly a threat, but This Troper has once used "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits." * [[@/MalachiteDragon This Troper]] tends to make up new ones every day; The few times that he has actually had to use them, he tends to combine them with the HannibalLecture and TheSlowWalk, as well as the SlasherSmile all the while... -->"I am going to do things so terribly,horrendiously erotic to you that porn stars will simultaneously scream in terror and in ecstasy. There will be jars of honey, wooden dowels, tasers, and a small spoon, c* ck-rings, piercings, cellphones, and small toys, spreaders and ball-gags and ''copious'' amounts of rope, ribbon, and twine. It will be broadcast and podcast live across the world and across the 'net, and when it reaches your poor parents' eyes they won't know whether to wank themselves stupid or cry at the sight of their child being so fiendishly defiled. Do I make myself eminently clear? I will drive from you every fetish that you adore and force into your brain ones that repulse you ''until you begin to accept them if only so I will stop.'' You have earned no mercy and I shall give none; There will be blood and tears and seed and honey and sweat and water and mayonnaise and any other fluid that I can get my greasy little mits on and they will be '''''used'''''. Do I make

myself...absolutely...''crystaline''?" ** Unsurprisingly, He's also the hugest pervert out of all his friends, talks about porn quite often and announces his nightly masturbation sessions by saying "Happy fun pr0n time!" and is quite, quite good at {{Squick}}-ing out even those who know him best. Except his girlfriend- she has proven unsquickable. Gods, he loves her. ** Why do I keep hearing this spoken by [[{{Watchmen}} Adrian Veidt]]? ** ([[@/MalachiteDragon Same troper]] who posted the rant) Probably because I have a similarly huge vocabulary as him and know how to use it. :D * [[@/{{Axioanarchist}} This Troper's]] high-school biology teacher began threats with "There are OneHundredAndEight ways to kill a human being with a popsicle stick." It caught on. * "Try anything funny, and I'll rip your balls off and shove them down your throat." "Do that again and I'll use your rib cage as a guiro!" "I swear, I will rip your spine out and use it as a xylophone!" This troper has weird friends. * This troper will mail you to all fifty states! * "If you don't leave right now, I swear by almighty God I will find a way to strangle you with this wireless mouse." * -blinks and clears throat- Once I accomplished delivering this to a friend who had nailed me with a water balloon in December. Ahem: "Oh. You think you're funny, clever boy? Let me tell you something. The things I am imagining doing to you are most likely legal in every state because someone would not assume anyone would be so damn psychopathic, with so few morals, as to attempt such foul treatment, nor would anyone care to deserve such a fate. But you, my friend, I am experiencing an epiphany. I have seen the light. And the light was Michael Tyson, and so myself and the light shall beat into you a new definition of "pain". I will tourniquet and guillotine every single part of your body that is sprouting from your torso, save for your neck. I will carve out your neck with a pen, making an inky gash-hole. And then I will stab it again. With my ''dick''. However, you will be spared of all but the dick-shank, provided you get me a fucking TOWEL!" * This is part of this troper's [[AxCrazy daily dialogue]]. Usually it's along the lines of "strangle you with your own intestines" or "castrate you with a splinteery wooden spoon." In a noteworthy {{Eviler Than Thou}} moment, a friend of mine threatened to eat my firstborn (FYI, I dont't have kids) with a spork (or something), to which I immediately responded, "Not if I eat it first. With chopsticks." * {{PsychoticSmirk}}* * I once wondered out loud, [[CloudCuckooLander at random]], "Do you think you could rip someone's arm off and beat them to death with it?" * "Stab you in the eyes. With lasers. And ''bears''," is [[@/{{Nerrin}} this troper]]'s standard starter. Being a physically unimposing little nerd, obviously I don't use these very seriously. However, I sometimes scale up from there in increasing levels of absurdity just to horrify people with the way my mind can work, even if I can't actually do anything to them. * I shall tear out the lower end of your intestinal tract through your rectum, nail it to a bridge and drop you off so gravity forces you to

crap out your own digestive system. * This troper has several, starting with the mundane: "I'll beat you to death with a large blunt object!", to the typical: "I'll rip off your arm/leg and beat you to death with it!", to the outright bizarre: "I'll beat you to death with your own head!", "I'll scoop out your eyes and ''skullfuck you''!", "I'll stick my foot so far up your ass, you'll have to open your mouth so I can tie my shoes!", "I'll kick you so hard you'll be swallowing with three Adam's apples!", "I'll hit you so hard, your ''ancestors'' will bleed!", "I'll beat you in ways your mama never tried and your daddy only dreamed about!", "I'll tear your heart/lungs/spleen out through your nose!", and my favorite joke to my son: "I'll hang you upside down by your toes from the ceiling fan!" or "I'll kill you until you are dead!" (I know that last one's from a movie but I can't remember which one, any tropers out there know it?) Then there's an oldie but a goodie, "I'll hit you so hard when you wake up your clothes will be out of style!" ** The quote's from ''HotShots Part Deux''. It was originally said by ''Saddam Hussein'': "I'll kill you until you die from it!" * This troper has just one: "I will feed you chili so powerful that it will make you shit out your large intestine, which will then ''burst into flame'' from the sheer heat of the spices you have consumed and ejected." ** And from a webcomic I read once: "Put the goddamn cellphone down or so help me I will shove it so far up your colon you'll be farting free minutes for a week!" * I'm gonna fuck you up so bad you'll be slower than a retarded tortoise!" * "I am gonna cunt-punt you so hard your grandchildren will be barren!" * "I'll hit you so hard you'll travel back in time and when your past self sees what has happened to his body he'll die of shock. You'll die ''yesterday''." * Good one for a police officer: "I will shoot you into tiny pieces and fine the pieces for littering." * "I'm going to kick your ass so hard you'll be shitting out your penis!" and, conversively: "I'm going to kick you in the nuts so hard you'll be pissing out your ass!" * Overheard: "I'm gonna kick you in the crotch so hard you'll have to open your mouth to take a leak." * "I'm going to castrate you with a potato masher!" * A friend's "I will castrate you with a rusty spoon" became "castrate you with a wooden spoon." * "I'm going to give you an uneccessary amputation with a cheese grater!" ** Oh I thought I was the only one using cheese grater threats. "I'm going to do horrible things to you with a cheese grater!" *** "I will give you a cheesegrater [[AssShove enema]]!" * "I'm going to kick your nipples off!" * "[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking I won't give you a hug!]]" * "I will shove this umbrella up your ass and open it!" * "I'm gonna reach down your throat and start ripping out organs till I get to something vital!"

* "I'll make sure none of your internal organs remain internal." * "I'm going to cut off your appendages one by one with a butter knife. A PLASTIC butter knife!" * "I swear to God Almighty and His Highest Holy Choir, I will saw your balls off with a sheet of paper!" * "If you don't knock it off, I will shove your head so far up your ass, it comes back out your neck!" * "I will stick that pole (a large flagpole) somewhere 'very' unpleasant" ** Made better recently, when a guy I was using it on let his imagination run wild with it out loud. * "If you do that again, I swear to God, I will beat you to death with an orange!" * "I'm going to start wounding you now. I'm not sure IF I'll stop, let alone WHEN" * "I will rearrange your organs into numerical order" * "[[AnsemRetort I swear to me that I will find a way to kill you with a flower necklace]] * "I will SHANK YOU with this! (Troper was holding a styrofoam cup) * "I am going to knock you unconscious with a styrofoam packing peanut!" * "I will strangle you and beat you to death with your corpse!" ** Same troper, another favorite of mine is "I will castrate you with a stapler!" (other object are occasionally used, but the stapler was the first and favorite) * "I will rip your body to shreds, and then feed the shreds to rabid wolves, and then kill the wolves, and then throw the wolves' carcasses down a glacial crevasse!" * "I will kill you with a plastic soda bottle in many different and creative ways." * "I will rip off your arm with my teeth, and then rape you with it 'till it comes out from your mouth." * "I will shave all your boy 'till you run out of skin, then season you with salt and dump you in a pool of acid." * "If you don't shut up right now, I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it!" * "You say that again, I'm gonna take this bottle, break it, and sodomize you with it. Do we have an understanding?" * "Look, I'm a peaceful man, but that won't stop me from tearing out your femur and strangling you with it." * "Think of it this way, if you say 'goodbye', and walk away, you get to go about your business like none of this ever happened. You do anything else, the same things gonna happen, only tomorrow, you'll wake up hanging from a ceiling in an undisclosed location, via a number of meat hooks embedded into your limbs, and I'm gonna set up an armchair and watch you bleed. So pick one, either one really, because I don't have any plans for tomorrow, and it's fixing to be a really boring day." * "We're not going to just shoot the sons-of-bitches, we're going to rip out their living Goddamned guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks." Yes, General George S. Patton really said that. * Seen on [[

mother-doesnt-work-here-of-the-hospitality-industry/ numerous signs]]: "Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy." Every parent's worst nightmare? * "I swear to God, I will drag your ass into a church and choke the life outta you RIGHT IN FRONT OF JESUS!" * "[[LogicBomb I'm gonna strangle you with a brick!]]" * "I shall tear out the bottom end of your intestinal tract, nail it to a tree and force you to walk round it." * "I'm going to rip your arms of and punch you to death with your own fists." * "I'm going to skin you alive, eat your intestines like noodles, drench you in gas then light you on fire while crushing your kneecaps with a bat!" * "I will strangle you with your own intestines!" * "Have you ever tried to pick up your teeth with broken fingers?" * In college, a roommate's buddy kept using my towel to plug up the gap under the door. I finally told him, "If you throw my towel on the floor one more time, I will shove it so far up your ass you'll be able to wipe your mouth without using your hands." * "I will tear you in half and stab one half with the other half!" * "I'm going to force feed you barbed wire till it comes out your ass, then grab both ends and ''floss you to death!''" * "If you don't get out of bed this instant, I'll throw you down a mile long razor blade into a pit of rubbing alcohol!" (This troper's father on Sunday mornings.) * "I will kill you, feed you to rabid wolves, kill the wolves, burn their corpses, and then chuck their ashes down a bottomless glacial crevasse!" * "If you don't get out of the way, I am going to string you up by your toes, use you as a pinata, pluck out every single one of your hairs, make you eat all of them, and then smear you with honey and leave you for the wasps!" * My friend had a good one, once - "I will get you pregnant and [[BeyondTheImpossible punch you so hard in the stomach you will regurgitate a]] [[PlotRelevantAgeUp grown man]]." Note that this was a girl, to a [[MisterSeahorse dude]]. * "Tell me what you want for your birthday or I'll slice the skin off my forearms, cure it into a belt and CHOKE you with it!". She did, folks. She did. ** [[CompletelyMissingThePoint So how's the forearm-skin-belt working out so far?]] * "If you don't watch your tongue I'll make it stick out of your butthole!" * This troper is just waiting for an opportunity to say to a human, instead of a videogame character, "If I catch you doing X, ''I will make you wish I hadn't''." * After a friend's boyfriend broke up with her, all of [[@/TheTallOne my]] friends rallied around her in mutual hatred of her ex, producing such gems as "I will kick him so hard in the crotch, all his nuts will be good for is a flap to keep the dust out of his ass." * "If you don't shut the fuck up right now I will stab you in the MOUTH and use your blood vessels to SEW IT SHUT." My best friend is

FULL of these. * "I'll cut off your dick, grind it into a pulp, and pour it down your throat!" Little sisters are so cute. * [[@/SalFishFin This troper]] has used a few, most notably "I'm going to rip out your spleen and pimp-slap you with it." * This Troper's friend used to use "I will kidney-stab you in the face'' as a generic joke death-threat. * "I swear to God, I am this close to beating you to death with my peace medallion." * "I'll eviscerate you with a rusted plastic spork." * Me and my friend came up with some interesting revenge ideas for her ex... ** "Ill set his dick on fire and shove a chainsaw up his ass" ** "Ill cut his heart out with a spork and throw it off a tall building" ** "Ill chop his balls off with a rusty knife and make him eat them" ** "Ill shove my hair straighteners up his ass and leave them on until he cooks" * "I swear I will punch you in the soul if you keep this up," combined with a death glare, is fairly effective at getting people to stop annoying This Troper. * This troper has a few, from the SchlockMercenary inspired "Kill you all over the room. The coroner is going to have to use ''evidence bags''", through the "mid-range" threats like "I will [[EyeScream pop your eyeballs]], set fire to your sinuses and burst both eardrums. The only reason you won't be screaming in agony is that the pain will make you pass out before your vocal cords get unstuck" and "I'm going to break every singly bone in your body with my bare hands. Including the little ones in your wrists which are surprisingly hard to do", to the ones I only use when I'm ''really'' [[{{Understatement}} not happy]]: "You will never sleep soundly again, for I will do things that will cause you to wake up screaming so hard your throat bleeds, every night. For the rest of your life. And you might want to end the agony by dying, but you will be too scared to go into that long dark, in case I'm waiting for you" and "I am going to rip your genitalia from your body, rub coarse sea salt into the wound, then lightly sautee said genitalia with paprika and crushed black pepper and feed it to you with new potatoes, asparagus and a chilled Riesling (men only)/ Pinot Noir (ladies). ''Then'' I'm going to get ''nasty''." * This Troper once threatened someone by telling her that, if she (the troper) could have it her way, the girl would be burning in hell, being raped up the ass by the Devil's Pitchfork. ''And not the handle part, either''. She's also said something to a lesser "Eternal Punishment" extent to a male friend. He was boasting about something or the other, and the troper promised him that if he didn't shut up about it, she's personally feed him his own man bits for dinner. ''Why, yes,'' I ''am'' a raging psycopath~! :3 * [[@/SoWeAteThem I]] have threatened or proposed, more than once, something along the lines of "rip his dick off and dent his skull with it!" We've also joked about turning an antique mole trap on a family [[AcceptableTargets Acceptable Target]], and I once used a set of expressions that eventually evolved into "Well, castrate me,

lobotomize me with my dick and hurl 'em both off a cliff while I watch!" * Care for three? ** [[@/PoptartTan This Troper]] tried to invoke this on her dad when they were messing around, but it came out wrong. (She said "you'll have to breathe through your lungs." She meant that they'd be in front of his face.) [[CrowningMomentofFunny He replied, "And when I'm done with you, you'll be walking on TWO LEGS!"]] ** A friend, [[GenkiGirl who meant well but]] [[MotorMouth talked too much even for HER,]] was annoying the living [[UnusualEuphemism funnel cake]] out of This Troper. Eventually she snapped, saying "Shut up, alright? I will steal your SOUL, okay?! Shut up or I will STEAL YOUR SOUL!" ** Finally, from an MST that she's writing of MyImmortal, one character comments yet again about how much she wants this to be over. That lead to this: "You are going to plant your ass in that cushion and stop whining, or so help me I will grab you by your upper and lower jaws and pull at them beyond their breaking point, so that you bleed and bleed and DIE, and then inside your mouth will a demon be cast, opening a portal TO HELL that will CONSUME YOU COMPLETELY. IN YOUR OWN MOUTH. I WILL MAKE YOU EAT YOURSELF." *** Make it four. A classmate was pissing her off for a stupid reason, and she finally shouted, "I will ram my fist up your urethra!" Best reaction she's ever gotten. * This Troper and his friends have a few: ** "Don't make me lobotimize you with this candy cane." ** "May rabid space goats devour your liver!!" ** "I shall tear out your soul, nibble on it, and then beat it with that desk!" ** "I shall replace your heart... with a hampster... a LIVE hampster... with delicate and pricise surgury... using only that table!! And then I will steal your shoe." * This is my favorite kind of threat. I once threatened to beat a kid to death by tying a cougar and an eagle together to make a flail of sorts. * This troper once said "Would you like me to smash your liver with a rusty hammer?" Unfortunately there was nobody to say it to. * I own a forum, and I have a very persistent troll, who I banned and he keeps spamming my inbox asking to be unbanned. After a few increasingly less polite replies to him, my final reply was "Contact me again and I will shove a copy of the forum's rules up your ass sideways!!" * This Troper's current standby is "I will bludgeon you to death with a goddamn tire iron!". My most colorful one so far though was a threat towards my friend's new boyfriend...[[ToThePain "I will cut your back open with a rusted butter knife, grab you by the shoulder blades, throw you into a wood chipper, but pull you out as soon as you've lost your legs. I will then proceed to tear your shoulder blades out the rest of the way with my bare hands.]] [[TranquilFury And then you will bleed to death, screaming in agony, while I sip on fine wine and watch you like my favorite soap opera, laughing madly. That is what will happen if you hurt her."]]

* I occasionally shout "I will loot your corpses!" at enemies in [=RPGs=] in a manner not un-akin to AxeCop's shouting of "I will chop your heads off!" * This troper likes "Do X again and I will redefine your tragically extended final moments as pain and misery." Usually followed by: (Beat) "I'm not only going to kill you, but I will do it in such a way that it hurts for a really long time before you finally die." ** And also, "I will mail you to all 50 states." (Beat) "SIMULTANEOUSLY" * This troper likes, "When I'm through with you, there won't ''be'' a body to recover". He also likes, "I will rip your balls off, fry them, and shove them down your throat, pan and all!" * Classic standby: I'll tear off your arm and beat you to death with the soggy end! It was referencing something, but I can't remember what. * Years of dealing with bullies made death threats my usual greeting, great language knowledge made my greetings elaborate: "Another word and I'll hang you to the nearest lamp pole. By the ears." ->'''Friend:''' ... and what if I splashed you with water? ->'''Me:''' then I'd splash you with your own blood. ->'''Me:'''Please, stop that. ->'''Friend:''' Or what, you're going to shove your hand in my mouth and pull out my stomach? ->'''Me:''' Dear God, no. Where do you get such ideas from? That's terrible. And it's not as terrible as it is illogical. I mean, if I were to put my hand deep enough in your throat, then my hand would be ''inside'' your stomach. I couldn't possibly pull it out. Unless, of course, I were to poke my way out your stomach wall, grab it, turn it upside-down'''and then''' pull it out. But before that I'd better cut the connection to your intestine, or else all your digestive organs would come out, while I wanted only the stomach. * Two favourites: "I'm going to shove your head so far up your ass you can lick your own tonsils!" and "I will take you for a drive in the country and hang you by the guts from the first electric fence I see!" * This troper's brother used to have a friend that liked to threaten "I'm going to shoot you right between the nose!" * This troper threatens to kill people with wooden spoons, cardboard rolls, spools, erasers, and other things that are around. Sometimes a combination thereof. Usually wooden spoons. * '''''[[Tropers/DeathToSquishies I'LL]] MURDER YOUR FACE WITH A TOOTHBRUSH.''''' ** On that note, "I feel inclined to inform you that should you not silence your big bazoo within the next 60 seconds, I shall drive this pen so deep into your skin that your lungs will be circulating ink for the next month." * "Fuck you up the ass with a rusty chainsaw." Alternatively, "with a pineapple." ** Also, "I'll kick your face in so hard it will come out of your ass."

** "I'll kill you, cut you into pieces, feed you to rabid dogs and burn their poop." * "I'll castrate you with a pair of scissors!" * When this Troper's very good friend tweeted a suicide note (thank god it didn't work), this troper was going crazy out of her mind when her friend didn't pick up the phone, so she could talk her friend out of it. Through the 10 minutes (felt like 10 years) that the phone was ringing, this troper was muttering "if you killed yourself, I'm going to kill you." Realizing the humor of her statement was the only thing keeping her sane at the moment. * [[{{Tropers/Metalitia}} I]] came up with a rather odd exclamation, which I then later adapted into this kind of threat. -> Me: "Ow, you stabbed me in the knife!" -> Which then became "I will stab you in the knife." Just for lulz. * The TropeNamer has become a RunningGag between my sister and I. I'm still working on my two BFFs at college, especially since one of them repeatedly jokes about killing herself and/or castrating my exboyfriend with a spoon. * "Yes, I can't beat you up, but your soul will be so delicious to rend." * [[Tropers/AdelePotter I]] tend to threaten to "impale you upon your own pencil. Then, I will remove all your internal organs and give them to people you hate so they can eat them. I will feed your flesh to sharks and your blood to mosquitoes." * "First, I'll slowly chop off your fingers, one by one. Then, I'll shove them in groups of two up your ears and nostrils, and then one each up your asshole and your dick, even if you don't have one. Then, I'll inject paint into your eyes, and not the nice, modern type of paint, but that old type of paint from some hundreds of years ago that apparently contained various toxins. After that, I'll spoon out your paint-filled eyes, ad force-feed you them while I slowly rip off the skin on both your arms and legs. An if you're still alive after all of this, I'll lower you into a vat full of acid, feet first." * "I WILL RIP YOUR LIMBS OFF AND THROW YOU INTO THE DEAD SEA." * [[Tropers/WarriorOfLight This Troper]] has taken to using "I'll cut your appendix out with a gummy worm, castrate you with the blunt side of a Snickers, and gauge your eyes out with my cock" as his "please stop talking to me" threat. ---Return [[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon here]] or I'll cut your heart out with a spoon. * If you try that, then I'll have to rip you lungs out. ''Through your ears.'' ** [[ThatGuyWithTheGlasses And shove them back through his nose, no doubt.]] ** Tropers/AdelePotter would like to thank you all for making her laugh so hard she almost pissed herself. <<|TroperTales|>>


Sometimes, throwing your phone, your pager, or whatever device is tying you to your job can feel ''much, much more'' liberating than just turning it off. The proof of this? Just look at these stories: ---* I, [[DaNuke Da_Nuke]], after finally passing digital electronics and suffering with the RS-232 protocol (in layman, the computer's serial port), broke in half my [[ MAX232]] chip and cut my capacitors with a pair of wire pliers. ''Never has the sight of electrolyte bubbling from a capacitor felt so pleasant and relaxing''. * This editor had a pager that was part of his job - monitoring Cable TV Broadcast equipment. When I was called to the main office and told that it was my last day, in reply I almost threw the pager across the table. * This troper's father is a network consultant with a fairly large computer company that isn't a piece of fruit, and as one of the most senior employees, he's "on call" at least half the time. He says his dream is, after retirement, to take that pager and skip it like a rock into the waves on a beach in Key West. * This troper got fed up with his mobile phone repeatedly ringing one evening while he was close to emotional breakdown and trying to have a heart-to-heart conversation with someone, and (cos it was a flippy phone) opened it to answer... and kept opening until the top snapped off. Man that felt good. * This troper's friends apparently have no concept of when he is at work or not. This, more often than not, leads to him cutting the leash ''while at work''. * This troper had a total nightmare week due to a dying PC. Solution: Log splitter. Best stress relief EVER. * This troper was on Winter Drumline at my school. The director was getting mad at us for messing around. Cue phone being thrown across the gym where it smashed into a wall and broke off into it's (normally removable) parts. It still worked, but I heard the phone whistling as it flew past. We worked hard after that. * This troper, after a very bad week at work which culminated in the termination of his employment, decided to his problem in a highly enjoyable fashion. Cue judicious use of high explosives on a simple pager. * This troper used to almost never have his cell phone on, because nobody ever called him but his parents and he really didn't want to talk to them. Unfortunately, now that he's having phone interviews with prospective employers, that doesn't work out so well. * A roomate of this troper went for a swim. When he came back out of the water and went to his pile of clothes/pocket contents, he discovered that his cell phone was missing. After a few minutes of contemplation, he decided that not having a phones wasn't such a bad idea. Of course, he immediately found his phone nearby. But he had made his decision, so he threw the phone into the lake and has yet to replace it. He is both crazy and much smarter then I am. * This troper was once trying to fix a cheap piece of crap of a router that had never gone 12 hours without a problem since it came out of the box. (A tip to everybody reading this: Don't buy any products from

D-Link. Two routers from them and neither one worked worth beans.) It felt so satisfying to just stomp the router flat right before buying a new one from a brand that doesn't suck. ** YourMileageMayVary. My D-Link router has worked fine for several years. I'll only be upgrading it soon to get one with better wireless security protocalls. ** Ditto. Mine's worked like a charm for years now; the only times it's conked out on me are when either 1) everyone else on the block lost their internet as well, or 2) I forgot to pay the bill. Mmm, broadband. ** Ditto the YMMV. I had a D-Link for a few years; I finally had to replace it after a power surge took out the WAN and two LAN ports (oddly enough it still worked, but only two ports and no WAN made it next to useless.) That same incident messed up a computer - might have been part of the path that damaged the router. The Siemens router I had before that was another story; I entertained the thought of using that one for skeet SEVERAL times. * This Troper does it for two days out of the week, where he has to cover his Nightporter's days off in the Hotel he works in, and do the graveyard shift. ''Nothing'' [[RantInducingSlight invokes his wrath]] as much as someone ringing him about something unimportant like ''getting someone else's phonenumber'', or ''when they're getting paid next'' when you've just been asleep for 2 hours and it's daylight out, and whatnot. * Something of a rule for [[DeltaOne This Troper]] and his friends whenever we go on roadtrips. All cellphones, pagers and whatever get passed to the guy behind the passenger (because they're "Comms") who is responsible for not allowing the outside world to interfere with our roadtrip. HilarityEnsues when boyfriends call and get Comms going, "No, she can't come to the phone. No, I can't tell you why. Go away!" ** Just to clarify, the driver is the Driver, the passenger is Navigation, the one beind the driver is Logistics (they have the food/drinks) and the one behind Navigation is Comms. The one in the middle is Tailgunner, who has no role until the UK weakens its gun control laws enough for me to mount a turret on the back of my car. * From this troper's physics class:\\ PA: Teachers, please excuse the following announcement... \\ Dr. [REDACTED]: NO!\\ PA: Will the following students--\\ (rips PA box off wall) ** [[@/SoWeAteThem My]] AP history teacher had the same contempt for the high school intercom. He did, however, know the location of the off switch. ** If I am right: you're not the only one who reads tjbash. If I am wrong: Cool Story, Bro. * When [[@/{{endlessness}} I]] moved to Linux, I happily destroyed all my (pirated) [=CDs=] of Windows software. * This is one of the reasons this troper doesn't have a cell phone at all. Want my attention? Leave me a [[PrecisionFStrike fuckin']] email. ---If you can't bring yourself to turn off the computer and go outside for a change, you can go back to Main/CuttingTheElectronicLeash

instead. ----

CuttingTheKnot * Is this troper the only one who's ever been lazy enough to want his shoes off, looked at the tightly tied laces, then looked at the readily available pair of scissors on the desk and thought "fuck it, shoelaces are only 70¢"? ** 50¢ for me, but yeah. * This Troper can solve a Rubik's Cube in 90 seconds without turning it once. How? [[spoiler: Six different colors of paint.]] ** Is this basically the updated version of solving the cube by taking the stickers off and putting them back on again in the right order? * An incident like this happens a lot when I roleplay, which is why I no longer make these puzzles despite enjoying solving them when they come. One example is when I have the only door of a relatively small dungeon room locked by a gate, with half the party on one end (outside), the other half of the party on the other end (trapped inside) and [[FriendToAllLivingThings one of the players, who was a beast master of cute critters]], [[RidiculouslyCuteCritter had a pet cat]] who was fighting with another, larger monster over a [[PlotCoupon doll]] [[SpeakFriendAndEnter where their fights were heavily focused on with the intent to hint that the door is unlocked and can be pushed open whenever the doll's head fell off, but locks if the doll's head is reattached]]. The door is [[GodModding nigh indestructible]] to ''[[BeyondTheImpossible anything]]'', and the parties are quick to notice that no matter what attack they throw, no matter how powerful the attack is, it won't leave so much as a dent because the dungeon "cell" was mentioned to be specifically designed to hold incredibly powerful god-like monsters (which explains why travelers, who have an eighth of said god-mon's powers, couldn't do anything to it). What do they do? They spend half of one week nuking the door to high hell, alternating on who nukes the door to high hell between inside and outside (all the while that tamer's cat kept stealing the doll, but was perfectly content to make its master hug it as opposed to allowing the other mon to take its head off if not do so itself), the other half to spam attacks for as long as possible, and nearly half of a second week was spent nearly causing a cave-in for the party inside the dungeon trying to blast the surrounding walls to get around the door, only to find ''even more of the indestructible barred walls was built within the surrounding dungeon walls''. [[SarcasmMode Because, of course, they figured people who want to trap powerful gods inside what essentially is a giant cage would only bother building an indestructible door and won't take into account said god can blast the rest of the cell to break free]]. (As for the doll, the tamer got annoyed and tried to kill the other monster who kept trying to grab for the doll's head. Eventually I got the monster to be so agitated it ripped the doll's head off while the tamer was holding it despite getting attacked by the cat for it). It took them so long to realize that the doll had something to do with the door

that I not only had to solve the connection in front of them myself, but push the door open afterward to let them go (because even when they attacked during a time the doll lost its head, they were attacking the surrounding walls they unearthed as opposed to the door, and it didn't occur to any of them that the door was unlocked until the monster blatantly opened it to walk through. ''TWICE''.). [[{{Wallbanger}} *HEADDESK* *HEADDESK* *HEADDESK*]]. ** Then there was a second incident that seemed more like the players were [[JerkAss The Fellowship of the Dicks]] than they were stumped. There was a boss they had to face, but it is only defeatable if they take advantage of its elemental weakness: water. The easiest weapon that is of the water element is an artifact guarded by a whole collection of races who were made entirely out of water. The solution? The players had a member of the party who was of the same race as these watery people and could ask the chief for the artifact to take with them, because they were a known important diplomat to them. ''Their'' solution? Try to kill everyone by slicing them to bits despite the fact, as water people, they regenerate back to normal no matter how many times you slice them. In the end I just had an NPC among the people feint ignorance that these people and what is essentially their prince tried to slaughter them all and just give them the damn artifact anyways, because it didn't occur to any of them that they could just. Oh, I dunno.... ''ASK?!'' * This troper once had to do one of those "you have a 3 gallon bucket and a 5 gallon bucket. How do you get exactly 4 gallons?" problems. He jokingly suggested drawing a gun, pointing it at the nearest person, and tersely saying, "Four gallons. ''Now''." He still doesn't know how to solve this problem... ** You take a A three gallon fill it then place the three gallons into the five. Now you take the three gallon again and continue filling up the five and stop when the five is full. Empty the five and poor the remaining one gallon from the three. Refill the three and pour it into the 5. Done. *** And the alternate solution: You fill the five, pour three gallons from the five into the three, empty the three, pour the two gallons left in the five into the three, refill the five, and then pour one gallon from the five into the three to top it up and leave four gallons in the five. Double done. * I challenged my players with an unbeatable djinn who forced them, one by one, to answer one nearly impossible riddle each, or he would kill them. And they had three seconds to answer. The first was too surprised by the short time limit to do something, and died. The second just sat there until he was killed. The third decided to strike first and attacked, but was killed by the UNBEATABLE djinn. The fourth said "I don't know"... and passed. The djinn never said the answer had to be RIGHT. ** Killer DM much? * Once, I was replacing a car battery with my father, and I accidentally dropped the wrench into the undercarriage. It wasn't on the ground, and we couldn't see it or reach it no matter how hard we tried, so we resigned ourselves to disassembling the car to get the wrench back. Then I said, "You know, this may be dumb, but why don't

we just drive the car, brake really hard, and shake the wrench out that way?" It worked. * This troper remembers watching her friend play through the Temple of Time mentioned on the Zelda entry for the main page of this trope. Neither of us had played the game before so we didn't know the statue's hammer could smash the gates into pieces. So I watched him work the statue all the way down to the 3rd (at least I think it was the 3rd) floor, and he couldn't find a switch to open the gate blocking the way to the next transporter for the statue. He'd only JUST found out he could make the thing swing its hammer, so after looking everywhere he went over to the gate with the statue and started smacking it with the hammer while shouting "OPEN UP YOU STUPID-!" Right as he said 'stupid', the gate shattered. He stood there dumbfounded for a moment, then hid the wiimote behind his back and protested "I didn't do it!" It's hilarious to watch him play a new Zelda game for the first time. If he gets stuck, he ends up frustrated, and then he usually applies this trope at random. And it always works. I can't wait to see what happens when he gets his hands on Skyward Sword. In a computers class one of the exam questions was "what is the best way to permanently remove information from a hard drive?" My response was: "With a hammer." Got full credit. * BridgeOfDoom: (in my GameWorld, Khelefmiis and Howonda are expys for Europe and Africa) TollKeeper: what is the velocity of an unladen swallow? PC: Do you mean a Khelefmiis or a Howonda swallow? TollKeeper: Khelefmiis. ** The correct answer is "24 mph". Knowledge Animal and such-like dice rolls. Next, TollKeeper asks the velocity of the Howonda Swallow, NPC whispers the answer and crosses the Bridge. PC rolls Listen to hear bits of the answer which is of course, "Nobody knows the velocity of the Howonda swallow. The Howonda swallow's chief weapon is Ignorance and Fear. The Howonda swallow's 2 chief weapons are Ignorance, Fear and a fanatical devotion to the Archbishop of Vayzey. The Howondaland swallow's 3 chief weapons are ..." By which time, NPC has crossed the bridge.

---To get back to the main page, type "h" "t" "t" "p" ":" "/" "/" "t" "v" "t" "r" "o" "p" "e" "s" "." "o" "r" "g" "/" "p" "m" "w" "i" "k" "i" "/" "p" "m" "w" "i" "k" "i" "." "p" "h" "p" "/" "M" "a" "i" "n" "/" "C" "u" "t" "t" "i" "n" "g" "T" "h" "e" "K" "n" "o" "t" into your address bar. Or just [[CuttingTheKnot take a shortcut]]. ----

DaEditor * The former editor of my school's newspaper fitted all the above

requirements, except the cigar, and was a girl. That only made her more intimidating. She is the unequivocal embodiment of this trope. ----

DagwoodSandwich * Troper Tales I know, but I once did some work for a burger bar that did one of these. As a sort of bonus I agreed to give the staff and customers some entertainment by trying to eat one. The owner's mother seemed genuinely concerned I might injure myself. --Michael * In Myrtle Beach, SC, is a restaurant called [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Dagwoods.]] Seriously. * This troper's mother calls the sandwiches this troper makes Dagwoods. Since they're only double-decker, though, this troper is uncertain whether or not this is correct. * [[JusticeReaper I'm]] not sure if this counts, but...once I made a sandwich with the following fillings: a burger patty, a slice of chicken bologna, cheese, a fried egg, lettuce, and tomato. It was pretty hard work just to hold the finished product in place while [[BigEater I ate it]]. * In Montreal, there is a chain of sandwich restaurants called Dagwoods'. Last I checked, it was just a renamed, fancier Subway. * [[llamasrnice I]]once made a sandwich like this, it had 4 layers of bread, 3 layers of bacon,ketchup,cheese, both cheddar and parmesan, dijon mustard,and cranberry sauce , yum. ---Somewhere in that pile of deliciousness is a [[DagwoodSandwich link]] back to the main page.

DamnYouMuscleMemory * This troper plays {{Burnout}} Paradise and Midnight Club: LA on the X360. What is nitro/boost in one game is handbrake in the other (usually A [boost in Burnout, handbrake in MC] or X [handbrake in Burnout, nitro in MC]). Which makes for crashing out the car in Burnout when attempting to boost (and the same when attempting a uturn via handbrake), and accidentally smashing into a traffic or a cop car when attempting to nitro away (and thereby losing a race at a tight corner by accidentally going into the wall, instead of sliding to victory) * RatchetAndClank. KingdomHearts. Both are PS2 games, and both are two of [[Tropers/NeoEevee this troper's]] favorite video games. They also have control schemes and gameplay that are almost complete opposites of one another. See where I'm going here? * This troper used to play Battlefield 2142 quite a bit and was pretty good at it. Sometimes, if a player sneaks up behind you, they'll try and knife you for a humiliation kill - but hit detection on the knife is terrible, so sometimes they'll miss and you'll hear the ''tink'' of their knife hitting the ground next to you. On at least two occassions later on, I was walking around campus only to hear a faint tinkling sound from somewhere, and spun around as quick as I could in a ready stance.

* This troper and his ADD causes problems. Once he starts thinking real hard he just lets muscle memory take care of things, leading to a lot of things he actually didn't want to do. He once went to go get paper towels from the bathroom to clean up a spill, and instead took a shower once he reached the bathroom. * Okay, Tropers, 'fess up. How many of you start looking for the "Edit" button on ''non-editable web pages'' when you find an annoying, easily correctable spelling or grammar error? ** [[Tropers/{{Xevon}} * raises hand* ]] ** [[Tropers/{{todbot1}} Aaaa-yup.]] *** How many of you nearly try to PotHole a {{YouTube}} comment? *** [[Tropers/TheGreatUnknown Guilty on both charges.]] *** [[Tropers/HydroGlobus What do you mean, nearly?]] *** [[Tropers/{{Valbinooo}} Not only do I look for an "edit" button, I also forget that I am not in MS Word and cannot highlight/edit. Very frustrating]] ** And how many of you have tried to use a WikiWord on IRC and halfexpected it to turn into a link? *** [[Tropers/RitiTroll Not IRC, but a forum]]. She still is upset that it doesn't turn into a pretty blue link and her not-so-clever [[PotHole potholing]] skills are for naught. *** The TroperIrcChannel has a bot that gives the URL for any wiki worded trope name said on the channel. ** And how many of you have tried to place a PotHole in your thoughts!? ** And how many of you tried to place a PotHole in RealLife? ** How about using apostrophes to ''italic'' or '''bold''' or '''''both'''''? *** I don't normally do that, but I've slipped up and apostrophed my italics when working on the mock-trope-page on the wiki for an RP I'm in. (We didn't think the RP was sufficiently large, public, or significant to actually put it on TV Tropes proper, but we maintain a big page o'tropes InTheStyleOf this wiki.) *** When I'm talking about TVTropes (or TheOtherWiki) on LiveJournal. Every. Single Time. ** And who here looks for an undo button what they mess up a drawing in real life? * BUMPERS DO NOT JUMP IN [[CallOfDuty CoD 4]]! THAT'S HALO 3! (I use Bumper Jumper) * Not sure if this counts, but this troper will frequently make typos while writing (such as writing "switche'''s'''" instead of "switche'''d'''", or while speaking. ** Did the same thing while writing an essay for Spanish class- kept meaning to finish a Spanish word, but instead adding another letter to make it an English word. ** This troper has a hard time typing the word ration--no wait, ration--argh! ''ratio''. *** In a similar vein, [[Tropers/{{Nyperold}} my screenname]] makes it hard to stop at "r" when typing things like "super". ** Whenever [[Tropers/{{Metz77}} this troper]] attempts to type the state motto of New Hampshire, or even ''say'' it, he always ends up with "Live free or die hard" because of that ''damn'' movie.

** This Tropette was typing essays about Romeo and Juliet, and eventually had to set auto-correct to change Romero to Romeo. * This troper recently switched her coaster brake bike with a bike that has hand brakes and for a while panicked when she tries to apply the coaster brake and nothing happens. * I'm a big RPG fan, and I'd been playing a lot of ''NeverwinterNights'' and ''[=KotOR=]'' recently- both use reasonably similar control schemes, including Space for tactical pausing. I then got out ''{{Warcraft}} 3''. In the middle of a big fight, there's often a fair bit of micromanagement needed to get full use out of your casters. So what do I try to do? Why, I press Space to pause the game to give me time to get everything right. Only problem is, in this game, Space moves you to the location of the last important message... * Switching between ''SuperMarioGalaxy'' and ''The Force Unleashed'' tends to result in a lot of Star Bits wasted. ** A similar thing happens whenever I play Call of Duty before Bioshock or Left 4 Dead. As a result I often either use a plasmid or melee (respectively) when trying to aim through the sights. * This troper just wants to say that following up programming in Python with typing an essay is NOT a good idea. ** This troper concurs; he can't believe how many times he's typed 'if' or 'while' and automatically typed an opening parenthesis. ** [[Tropers/PoochyEXE This troper]] would like to add switching between two programming languages, especially when they're vaguely similar in syntax, such as Java and Python. After spending lots of time with Java, this troper first kept putting parentheses after "if" and forgetting to put colons in Python, then started to omit semicolons in Java. *** In C, argument lists in function declarations are comma-separated. In Lisp, they're space-separated, and commas are used for something completely different. [[Tropers/{{Ambar}} This Troper]] has gotten a few errors for "comma outside of backquoted expression" due to this. *** * blank stare* If you heard a faint whistling sound, that was everything you just said passing over my head... *** [[Tropers/PoochyEXE This troper]] can explain: Say you're calling a function f with the arguments (inputs) 1, 2, and x. In C, you would write "f(1,2,x)" while in Lisp, it would be "(f 1 2 x)" ** Switching between C++ and Java is fun, too. Any object you handle in Java is automatically a pointer. This means they behave roughly the same as C++ pointers, except that you write them like they're not pointers. For member access, for example, a "." in Java does the same thing as a "->" in C++, but a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT thing to a "." in C++. *** [[Tropers/PoochyEXE This troper]] find just as bad the use of << and >> for streams in C++, where Java usually uses + for concatenation. Meanwhile, Java function calls for IO instead of C++'s streams to cout and from cin, and << and >> in Java are reserved for binary shifts. Examples for the uninitiated:\\ '''To output "x = " and the value of x to the console window and start a new line in Java:''' System.out.println("x = " + x);\\ '''To output "x = " and the value of x to the console window and start a new line in C++:''' cout << "x = " << x << endl;\\

'''To append a space to the end of a String named s in Java:''' s = s + " ";\\ '''To append a space to the end of an ostringstream named s in C++:''' s << " ";\\ And even worse is the use of default constructors. "[=ClassName=] x;" (for static memory allocation) or "[=ClassName=] * x = new [=ClassName=];" (for dynamic memory allocation) in C++ calls the default constructor for a class called "[=ClassName=]", both roughly equivalent to "[=ClassName=] x = new [=ClassName=]();" in Java. Meanwhile, "[=ClassName=] x;" in Java creates a null pointer, equivalent to "[=ClassName=] * x = NULL;" or "[=ClassName=] * x = 0;" in C++. The C++ error message you get for an unneeded pair of parentheses is clear as mud, too. * [[Tropers/DarkSoldier This troper]] uses {{UnrealEd}}, Maya, and Photoshop CS3 in his game design courses. They all have mutuallyexclusive interface schemes with one exception: Alt-F4. I also have to use Final Cut Pro; Macs have different function keys than Windows and only one mouse button. ** Nerd rage - rising ... ** OMG YES!!! Why can't they all agree that "CTRL-Z" is undo (and you can undo up the history as many times you want) and "CTRL-Y" is redo? At least all of Microsoft Office's CTRL keyboard shortcuts agree with each other... ** Option(=alt)-click on a Mac = right click. Or just plug in a normal PC mouse, and...right-click. * My bike: Paddle shifters. My GF's bike: Twist shifters. Me+GF's bike=Accidental braking. * At one point, this troper somehow got the IRL motion of glancing at her watch associated with opening the menu of a video game. When exploring a new college campus, she spent a good several seconds looking at her watch and trying to remember which command would pull up the map... that she was holding in her other hand. ** You wouldn't happen to be a fan of Goldeneye? ** If you start doing that IRL, you ''' ''might'' ''' wanna consider taking a bit of a break from the game, hon... * [[Tropers/{{Leradny}} This troper]] has been a casual ballroom dancer for several years and still struggles when she switches from any dance with smooth, light steps to any of the Latin dances. * This troper was a tetris grandmaster on the computer. Then he switched from a Widescreen laptop to a smaller one with about 75% the size keyboard. Many a game has been lost due to hitting up instead of Shift at the wrong moment, causing a turn instead of swapping out the Terimino. * Try playing ''FinalFantasyIX'' and ''Yugioh GX Tag Force Evolution'' back to back. You'll wonder why the menus are broken. * You can also try playing the XBOX360 clone of ''FinalFantasyXIII'' and ''DragonQuestIX'' back and forth. You'll be pressing A when you want to press B and vice versa, you'll also be opening the map (button X) insted of the menu (button Y) a hell lot of the time. Happy frustration! * ''RedAlert 3'': Use ability with right mouse button. DawnOfWar 2: Left mouse button. See where [[Tropers/SkarmoryThePG This Troper]] is

going? ** This Troper had the same problem, in reverse. He went from RedAlert ''2'' to DawnOfWar, and spent his first three hours with the game getting massacred by selecting enemy units instead of blowing them to kingdom come. * This troper has, on multiple occasions, attempted to press ctrl-z or the like while writing with pen and paper. ** Same - I've done art on the computer for years, and still find myself looking for the "undo" button when drawing with pen and paper. I've also caught myself checking the bottom-right corner of mirrors, etc. for the clock. ** Dear lord, I'm not the only one whose done this? Funny thing though, after it happened, it made me feel more depressed than anything else: --> Troper: (Makes a mistake while drawing. Does the Ctrl-Z motion with his fingers.) --> *Nothing happens.* --> Troper: (Remembers that he's not at a computer.) ''Sigh'' (Picks up eraser and erases his mistake ''manually''.) * [[Tropers/{{Dallenson}} Me]] in both {{Battlezone}} games (From Activision and Pandemic Studios), I have caught Myself telling a Recycler/Matriach to deploy on a Scrap pool (Which resembled geysers from the first game in which Your Recycler/Factory/Armoury deploys on) * [[Tropers/{{HolocronCoder}} This troper]] often, when he can't find something in his room, will want to press apple+space, the OS search function in Mac OSX. ** [[Tropers/{{mehayo}} This troper]] on the other hand, constantly prays for an crtl+F function when doing book research. * This troper became fed up with wanting a "control+F" for books after it happened so many times, that he started finding PDFs of books, so he could do exactly that. They're more common than you'd think. ** This troper used that command for switching IME’s since Panther. In Tiger, that got shoved out of the way for Spotlight... and so for every new install, it's been Damn You Muscle Memory indeed. * [[Tropers/MiffTheFox This Troper]] will forever curse Visual Studio's mapping of Ctrl+W to "open utility window", due to it being the "close tab/window" button in pretty much ''everything else''. * In [[LaPucelle La Pucelle: Tactics]], the Execute and End Turn commands are switched in contrast to how they're used in many other [[RolePlayingGame SRPGs]] (N1 and otherwise), often making me lose turns. * Whenever this troper goes back to play one of the ''LegendOfZelda: Oracle'' games, she always seems to get the urge to play one of the classic ''Pokemon'' games at the same time. This results in attempting to open Link's pokemon menu, and attempting to slash grass with Red's sword. * I played ''MegaMan & Bass'' via emulation [[NoExportForYou before its]] US release. As I did with all the ''MegaManX'' & ''MegaManZero'' games, I mapped Bass' dash to the R button. When the [=GBA=] release came out, they took out control mapping, so the only way to dash is double-tap forward. It makes Bass' game [[FakeDifficulty unnecessarily hard]].

* I'm forever instinctively center-clicking links when I'm forced to use Internet Explorer, in which it brings up the directional scroller. In Firefox (which I use), this opens the link in a new tab. And speaking of IE (specifically IE6): Clicking a read link or a comment link in ''Engadget'' will always crash IE6. I've killed many a session forgetting that. Now guess what the entire district where I work uses? ** Strangely, that first bit is the way I discovered middle-clicking opens a new tab in Firefox; I was trying to scroll around in an iframe, and wondered where this tab was coming from... ** Firefox: Ctrl+F and start typing. If you've serched once since opening the browser, go down and to the left. IE: Ctrl+F, up and to the right. *** It gets worse: depending on the browser, the text box for "Find" can appear in the lower left (Firefox), upper right (IE7/Chrome), or upper left (IE8). * For some reason, the default page-turning action on the [[ eBookwise]] is the upper of the two pageturn buttons. 20 years of computers tell me that ''down'' moves toward the ''end'' of a document. This is "reverse paging" in the [=eBookwise=] settings. Why? I dunno. ** well, think for a second. when you're reading a physical book, do you grab the upper corner or the bottom corner when you turn a page? *** The middle of the page. *** Bottom, or the page itself. That leaves this (right-handed) troper's left hand free to type. * In a ''FreeSpace 2 VideoGame/WingCommander'' mod, [[{{Night}} This Troper]] kept hitting the wrong key for missile launch. This is a fairly impressive testament to the success of the mod, considering it had been about seven years since he had played an authentic Wing Commander game. ** If you think that's bad, try moving from the ''X-Wing'' series to ''FreeSpace 2''. By default, the button that means "Target ship in reticle" in the X-Wing games means "Fire secondary weapon" in FreeSpace. * {{Tropers/Jonn}} kept finding himself flanking other units in ''AdvanceWars'', despite the full knowledge that that mechanic thing was from FinalFantasyTacticsAdvance, a game he had last played more than ''years'' earlier. * This troper is a bad example of this whenever he plays the online multiplayer [[{{Tetris}} tetromino game]] ''[[ Blockles]]''. On most ''Tetris'' clones that he plays on his computer, he maps A and D to counterclockwise rotation, S to clockwise, Space to hold piece (if it exists), Left and Right for sideways movement, Up for fast drop, and Down for slow drop. Well, Blockles has a very counterintuitive control scheme: Left and Right are sideways movement, Down is fast drop, and this is where similarities end: fast drop (and he means locking hard drop, not the "firm drop"/"sonic drop" feature from ''Tetris: The Grand Master'' that he's accustomed to) is '''Space''', counterclockwise rotation is '''Up''', and there's no clockwise rotation button. This leads to misdrops involving hitting Space with the intent to hold a piece (''Blockles'' doesn't have this feature) or

Up to do a fast drop. [[ItGotWorse It gets worse]] at times when he mistakes Space for, for whatever reason, the ROTATE button. Although he can get around this by using [[ m JoyToKey]] to map keyboard buttons to one of his game controllers, there's only so much he can do when he has ''one rotation button!'' * Play ''{{Halo}} 3''. Then play Mirror's Edge less than a minute afterwards. Then after that play Dead Rising. It will INFURIATE you. * This troper picked up ''TheLegendOfZelda: Twilight Princess'' recently after a long time, and started cursing her thumbs almost immediately. It turns out, in many games, a context-sensitive "A" button will prompt your character to pull him or herself up over a ledge when hanging onto it. In LegendOfZelda, it prompts you to ''let go of the ledge''. This contributed to many, ''many'' falls to a horrible fiery death in lava when said Troper got to the Goron Mines... * [[Tropers/{{Ambar}} This Troper]] has this problem with ''speech''. If I've been talking about trees for a while, the next time I try to use the word "three" I will mess it up. ** That ain't nothing. [[{{Tropers/Lioyd}} He]] finds himself inadvertantly using English spellings when speaking French, ''his native tongue''. * [[Tropers.{{Gerusz}} This troper]] did karate for quite a while. So watch how he reacts to any sudden move in his 1 meter proximity. ** [[Tropers/MutantRancor This troper]] has the same reaction, and he's never had any martial arts training. Must've watched way too many shonen anime to drop into something resembling a fighting stance whenever something unexpected happens...not that I'll stop. Strangely, I have the same reaction in video games, which often leads to a "save it for the enemy" or "I'm on ''your'' side" moment. If playing on my team, either remain visible at all time or make sure friendly fire is turned off. ** [[Tropers/CorporealWolf This one too.]] He has no idea where he got it from though. 2 months of Tae Kwon Do, that was some 6 years ago. He's still advising people to not be behind me, lest he accidentally maul them. ** After growing up learning Kung Fu, this troper still elbows people who enter a nine inch zone behind him. Regrettably, he can't stop it. ** [[Tropers/{{Claystripe6514}} I]] had a variant of the above problem. Whenever someone places their hand on my shoulder from behind me, I will automatically pivot and smack their arm away with a downward elbow... followed by an upward elbow to the chin/nose. I barely managed to restrain myself from doing it to my 80-year-old ''grandfather'' once. ** This troper did martial arts for eight and a half years, throughout his childhood and adolescence. He's been out of the game for 3 years now, but he still has scarily quick reflexes when defending himself, and the ability to do very nasty things to a person very quickly. Unfortunately, this has led to dumb playground fights having...[[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown disproportionate endings]]. Gotten him in a lot of trouble. * The first 3D games I ever played were flight sims. In flight sims,

you push the stick forward to point your nose downward. Now I occasionally play console [=FPSes=] with my friends, on dual analogue, in which you pull the stick backward to aim down. Needless to say, every time I play I need to invert the stick, else I'll spend the whole game alternately staring at the ground or the sky. (Since I'm on someone else's console, I can't just leave it set like that, either.) ** Seconded. Worse, my first FPS was ''DukeNukem3D'', which played like a flight sim, which led to many problem when switching to other games... ** And on the same theme, ''FinalFantasyVII'': [[GlobalAirship Highwind]] vs. [[GoldenSaucer Speed Square]]. * Before college, I worked mainly with [=PCs=], and the Macs at school were always iMacs - computer and monitor in one. So the first time I encountered a Mac tower, I spent about 15 minutes trying to figure out where the button was that would make the CD/DVD drive open. When I finally went to another student for help, I was directed to the "eject" button on the keyboard... that I hadn't remembered was even there. * This troper is a fan of the ''GodOfWar'' and ''DynastyWarriors'' series, which have virtually identical control setups. In God of War, being able to roll quickly to evade attacks is a major part of the gameplay, but in Dynasty Warriors 5, there is no roll maneuver, which has caused this troper to accidentally activate (and waste) a [[SuperMode Musou Rage]] token while trying to roll out of the way of an enemy attack, because they're both mapped to the right analogue stick. Also, the O button is the grab in God of War, but in Dynasty Warriors, it activates your [[LimitBreak Musou attack.]] Yeah... * This troper's brother started playing ''TombRaider 2'' after an extended addiction to Rayman. I will never let him live down using a key on the keyboard to try to get Lara to use her hair to fly instead of the key for jumping. * [[Tropers/{{Nohbody}} I]] (screw "This Troper") had problems when first playing the {{MMORPG}} [[SimulationGame Space Sim]] ''Jumpgate'', after years of playing VideoGame/WingCommander. Jumpgate uses pseudo-Newtonian physics for ship movement, while Wing Commander... does not. As going too fast when you dock can kill you in Jumpgate, trying the Wing Commander landing routine, which is speedindependent, can become messy, particularly since cutting the throttle does ''not'' stop you almost instantly, like it does in WC. If your ship is loaded with heavy cargo, you generally can't turn tail-first and counter-thrust in time before going "splat". * It always throws me for a loop whenever I go back to play ''FinalFantasyTactics'' after playing.. pretty much any other game, really, only to find that the button that's usually "cancel" is suddenly the "select" button and vice-versa. Sure, it makes sense: O for yes, X for no, but still... ** [[Tropers/JET73L This troper]] can't remember how many times he was frustrated when starting a new game on ''FinalFantasyVII''. He has no idea any more with what game he trained himself into it, but ''X is yes, Triangle is page back!'' Makes the Gold Saucer minigames so much more frustrating since the instructions go by the original controls instead of the personalized ones.

* This troper often has trouble with the new dualspec system in ''WorldOfWarcraft'' because his specs feature very different button configurations. He keeps pressing the wrong buttons when playing on his secondary spec because he's used to the configuration on his main spec. * Whenever this troper is forced to use Internet Explorer for reasons of compatibility, he finds himself spending a lot of time trying to use the mouse gestures that he has installed in Firefox. * Having played ''{{Crysis}}'' this troper continues to try to switch suit modes in every other FPS he plays. * This troper was recently visiting a friend who lives in Washington DC. As he was entering the area, he idly noticed a sign for the Pentagon. Hey, the Pentagon! I wonder how the Brotherhood is doing nowadays? I'll just pull up my pipboy and hop on over - DAMNIT! * A police office this troper once read about in her Psychology textbook used to train himself how to knock guns out of criminals' hands. He'd set up a scenario where a friend would point a gun at him, he'd grab it, aim it at said friend, then give it back. Then he met a criminal with a gun. It worked wonderfully, and he disarmed the man... and then he gave it back. Luckily, the criminal was too shocked to do much but hold the gun and stare until the other officers came and took him down. ** There are many more stories like this floating around. Apparently, in episodes of high stress / heartrate, most people start relying on muscle memory to the exclusion of their brain. Two examples: *** A private detective happens to be in the habit of dialing Information instead of writing numbers down. While cleaning his gun one evening, he shoots himself. He tries to dial 911... but his fingers dial 411. He does this ''several times over'', knowing exactly what's going on but unable to help himself. *** When shooting on the range, if empty shells are expended (I don't know from guns), it is apparently customary to pocket them for tidiness. On the battlefield, this wastes time and is not recommended. Nevertheless, soldiers on the battlefield would later find shells in their pockets with no memory of putting them there. * The ''HalfLife2'' vs. ''Left4Dead'' example is a real-life story. * Camera control conflict: ''SkiesOfArcadia'' versus ''TheLegendOfZelda: The Wind Waker''. * Happens with [[Tropers/{{chitoryu12}} this troper]] often when playing a new game after spending a long time playing one of a similar genre. Not entirely the same, but he can't under any circumstances write while singing; he ends up writing the lyrics instead. * Averted by [[Tropers/TropeKira this troper,]] who can remember which buttons do what on a controller and can separate TV remotes. Sadly, my dad refuses to hand me the remote when he can't find what he's loooking for. * Last time I wrote an English essay, I kept referring to things by their trope names. Would also count as a TVTropesWillRuinYourLife, if not for the fact that I not only got an A, but extra credit. * Going from SuperMarioGalaxy to VideoGame/SuperMario64 found me shaking the controller for an no-exsistent spin-jump ** Also going from [[MarioKart Mario Kart Wii]] to [[MarioKart Mario

Kart DS]] found me tilting my friends DS trying to steer. D'oh ** A case of DamnYouMuscleMemory actually '''''helped''''' this troper. Whilst playing EpicMickey, he attempted a jump and nearly fell short, which would have resulted in a never-ending plummet to Mickey's death. His habit of making poor jumps and then spinning carried over from SuperMarioGalaxy to EpicMickey. Mickey's swing attack gave him '''''just''''' enough distance to catch the ledge and stop from falling. * At one point, I was going back and forth between ''EccoTheDolphin: Defender of the Future'' and ''TheLegendOfZelda: Majora's Mask''. The first is, basically, a very pretty 3D dolphin simulation, and the second has some of the best underwater controls in the ''Zelda'' series; at one point in ''Majora'', I attempted to do a quick-stop from ''Defender'' while swimming around as Zora-Link. ...Did I mention ''Majora's Mask'' is a Nintendo 64 game and ''Defender'''s for the [=DreamCast=]? - Tropers/SparkyLurkdragon * After a nostalgia-trip session of Driver and Driver 2, this troper switched back over to GTA IV. Most control differences are easy to reconcile, with one exception: L1 in Driver is sharp turn. In GTA IV, it fires your weapon. Needless to say, local law enforcement was unsympathetic. * This troper always plays one video game exclusively for a long period of time, and then plays nothing until finding another one, so certain patterns get very ingrained. A Star Wars Battlefront period (where the circle button rolls) was followed by my current passion for KingdomHearts(I). Where the circle button is ''jump''. Cue spending THE FIRST FIVE WORLDS of Kingdom Hearts trying to Dodge Roll away from an attack ''and instead jumping right into it.'' Poor Sora took a lot of undeserved verbal abuse. Bizarrely, never once did I confuse any other commands. * Non-video-game-related example: a fencing drill requiring this troper to never advance, retreat, or lunge. You could parry their attack or hit your partner if they stayed too close to you, but that was it. This troper's instinctive strategy is to jump backwards from attacks and then charge at the opponent recklessly (which isn't the best of strategies anyway). DamnYouMuscleMemory approximately every other minute. It didn't help that the instructor's corrections were, if not Crowning, at least Bejewelling [[CrowningMomentofFunny Moments of Funny]], causing this troper to break into unrepentant-sounding giggles despite extreme frustration. * This troper (Darkurai recently changed his control settings in The Conduit to something he finds superior due to Wiimote waggle no longer throwing off his aim. However, this led to doing what I thought would finish off the guy in front of me whose face was just shotgunned and was quickly reloading, but actually ''made me face the other direction.'' Speaking of which, trying to turn around leads to throwing a ''grenade at the wall in front of me.'' * This troper has found what he thinks is the perfect PC FPS control system. He puts his movement keys in the middle of the keyboard (TGFH). With this setup, he has around 15 more buttons accessible with his left hand, instead of the 9 he can reach using WASD. Hilarity Ensues whenever anybody else tries to play an FPS on his computer, as

(among other things) he canonically maps use to A, auxiliary menus to E, and weapon change settings to S and/or D... * In an inversion of the full-size-keyboard-to-laptop example on the main page, {{JET73L}} usually types with his right hand while using his left arm to hold up the laptop. Since he is rather large and his hands are sized to fit, it's more efficient to type with just one hand anyway on the 90% desktop size keyboard with keys about as third as tall as a desktop keyboard. Not so much when it comes to using a university terminal or borrowing a PC, where his figertips keep getting caught and his alt/ctrl/shift habits go out the window. * [[Tropers/{{Dinru}} This Troper]], upon picking up ''TheLegendOfZelda: The Minish Cap'' for the first time in years, she ran into a bit of a problem: The bushes in that game were too similar to the tall grass in ''{{Pokemon}} Pearl'', causing her to habitually avoid them. After a while, however, she managed to stop doing that. However, when she went back to Pokemon again after that... * Opera browser has mouse gestures. This troper doesn't use most of them, but "Back" and "Forward" are so ingrained in this troper's memory, that he always has a hard time in IE. * This Troper was arranging a song to be played on piano, and after a few days was told that it'd sound better if the left hand took the melody for part of it. I found it totally impossible and had to switch my arms over in a highly uncomfortable way to even be able to play it sounding like that at all. I happened ot not play the song for about a week, and was then able to retrain myself appropriately. * [[TsundeRay This troper]], when he was regularly playing ''InitialD Arcade Stage 4'', would have no problems transisting from other driving games to that, but going from ''Initial D 4'' to another racing game ''always'' posed a problem due to the unique way ''[=ID4=]'' is played--on ''Wangan Midnight Maximum Tune 3'', for instance, he would steer too hard or attempt to tap the brake to initiate [[GoodBadBugs penalty cancel]]. Additionally, he has no problem driving his real-life car after playing most racing games for a long time, but if he's been playing ''[=ID4=]''' for a long time, he initially finds himself not turning the wheel hard enough to make a real turn. ItGotWorse when one of the arcades around his area upgraded their ''Initial D 4'' cabinet from the more common version 1.2 to 1.5, which significantly alters a mechanic involving entering a corner too fast. Needless to say, he doesn't play ''Initial D'' anymore. * Upon reaching the bottom of this page, [[Tropers/EtherealFrog This Troper]] left clicked the link, rather than right-click slight down, left click, which is open link in new tab in K-Meleon, and probably other browsers, which I usually do. I had to press backspace to get back here and edit. Damn you lack of muscle memory! * [[Tropers/{{Unistrut}} This Troper]] has two Volvos, both mideighties 240 series. One is a two door sedan with turbocharger, body bracing, strut tower bracing, thickened sway bars, Bilstein shocks, Yokohama touring tyres, four speed gearbox with overdrive and a radio that is low down in the center of the dash. The ''other'' Volvo is a completely stock base model wagon with a five speed gearbox and a radio located high in the center of the dash. My morning commute is a daily game of DamnYouMuscleMemory as I reach the wrong place for the

radio, try to shift into a non-existent fifth gear, tap the top of my gearshift trying to hit the overdrive button that's on the other car or wonder when the hell the turbo's going to spin up before realizing that this is as fast as I'm going to go. Then I reach a corner and my brain forgets I don't have $1,000 worth of handling upgrades until the car starts to oversteer and lean like a galleon in a strong wind. * [[Tropers/AXavierB This troper]], while playing ''Half-Life 2'', kept trying to do ''Mirror's Edge'' parkour moves. * This troper died in the first dungeon of "Ocarina of Time" Master Quest because of this trope. * This troper's brother played waaay too much Urban Terror, which uses the usual T to chat. He then found himself writing an essay for school. And starting every sentence with t. * Occasionally, this troper will play an arcade game, but accidentally have his fingers shifted to the side, so as to be over the wrong buttons. Naturally, throwing a grenade when you needed to jump, or jumping when you needed to attack doesn’t usually end well. * This troper had worked as a cashier for a couple years before ever using the service desk register, which faces the opposite way from the store's regular checkouts with approximately half of functions reversed. Let's just say I'd be a dangerous man in a right-hand-drive car. ** Same guy, years earlier, a HighSchool woodshop assignment was to modify oars to accept large knobs (off-the-shelf doorknobs) on the ends. This was for a camp for special needs kids, to prevent the oars from falling through the oarlocks. Rule Number One of rowing is "Don't drop the oars"; using a non-electric wheelchair is about the same movement except that you let go at the end. It was explicitly explained to us as a muscle-memory thing. * This troper has been playing some BulletHell games lately. In most of these made by Cave, you slow down by holding down the shooting button, which will also activate a laser or somesuch depending on the game. In the {{Touhou}} series, you press a different button entirely to slow down, which can get a bit harrowing if you need slow down and realize you're already holding down the shoot button. Also, bombs are lifesaving mechanisms, but while Touhou gives you a fraction of a second after being hit to activate them... well, most other games don't. D'oh! ** ''Touhou'' offers a "Slow Down" mode which has Cave-style slowdown (hold fire to activate focus mode). * ''{{R-Type}} [[UpdatedRerelease Dimensions]]'' + ''StreetFighter IV'' Fight Pad + A to shoot and X to release and retrieve Force Pod + unremappable controls = What? Force button is ABOVE fire button?! * [[Tropers/JapaneseTeeth This troper]] spends so much time screwing around on this wiki that he keeps trying to italicize stuff with double apostrophes. ** He also once played Star Wars Battlefront for so long that he started instinctively tapping the dpad to reload. While playing Super Smash Bros. He also tends to ArchiveBinge on manga and webcomics simultaneously, so he always reads everything in the wrong order because of the switching. * This troper can't play ''{{NetHack}}'' on a public server, because

he uses the arrow keys to move in his copy, but public servers use HJKL. * This troper used vi on linux so much at one point that whenever he tried to use Microsoft Word, he would try to save it the way you save something in vi. This led to a greet on IRC that only unix users understood: <NiveusLuna> You might use vi too much if you try to save a Word document by using <esc> :w ** * waves* Been there, done that, would get the T-shirt if they made one. ** So does this troper. He finds himself typing :wq everywhere or pressing ^D (log out from a terminal in Linux) to exit a CMD session in Windows. Also, ending everything with a ; when programming in anything other than C. *** This troper has tried to close instant message windows with ":wq" and "exit", both of which seriously confused the people he was talking to. * This troper has pretty much forced this on himself between a few games on Steam. One key does something entirely different among three different games that run on the same engine and control pretty much exactly the same, which is especially troubling because in one of those games the key in question is bound to "self-inflicted CriticalExistenceFailure". ** And this, folks, is why Steam gave us the option to edit which keys we use. Of course, after playing with a certain set for a while, changing it just makes this worse. * Up until this year, every true/false test I had ever taken which was to be marked with X's and O's used the logical X-for-No, O-for-Yes setup. For some reason, this year's teacher wants hers to be marked the opposite way- X is yes, O is no. Apparently, I can sit with the test in front of me and say, "Okay, idiot, X is YES!" and then proceed to mark it the wrong way. To the point where I think, "Alice was a dictator. True. X." and still manage to write an O. * After habitually playing [[FZero F-Zero GX]] and walking everywhere for a few months, the semester ended and [[Tropers/{{Softspoken}} this troper]] started the long drive home. Partway back on the highway, another vehicle gradually pulled up beside him to pass. Mentally, I hit the X button and jerked the analog stick towards the other car. This is how you '''ram other vehicles off the road''' in [[FZero FZero GX]]. I took a break from that game for a while. * This trope is why dotchan prefers BLU in TeamFortress2. Years of playing video games has pounded into her head that blue = ally and red = enemy, and shooting at her teammates wastes ammo. At least as a Pyro, it means she can sometimes catch a Spy in the act. * This Troper actually has made critical fumbles due to muscle memory... in the same game. Being a Soldier fanatic in Team Fortress 2, the muscle memory's something like 'fire rockets until enemy's nearly down, then switch to shotgun and finish him off'. So while trying out the new Soldier unlocks (two of which are not actual weapons but still replace the shotgun in the secondary slot) I was often caught holding the Buff Banner, rather than the shotgun which I had hoped to pull out... * This Troper has an example that tops most others. Once, he had been

having computer troubles and when he realized it basically was beyond hope without reinstalling Windows, he left the reinstall running during a 35 minute wait period, went to do some sketching (yes, on paper) and thought to himself ''multiple times'' that "I should probably save in case the program crashes again". Facepalm when he realized that ''reality'' has no save button... ** Although it sure would be nice if it did, wouldn't it? *** Hey, I've tried to hit command-F to search for keywords when reading a physical paper more times than I can count. ** Reality needs a save button, an undo button, a redo button, and a find button. The fact that it doesn't have one has apparently not gotten through my brain yet. (Yes, I spend too much time typing on the computer. Why do you ask?) * This (brand-new) Troper is unable to play {{Marathon}} and {{HalfLife}} 2 within the same one-week (or so) period. What's really annoying is that * both* of those games allow you to fully customize the controls and I don't use the default set for either game, meaning I get hung up on the little things. Half-Life expects that you'll use the mouse/trackpad for movement, creating the most annoying discrepancies from what I'm used to in Marathon. (Left arrow is sidestep left in Half-Life; it's turn left in Marathon.) Since I got Marathon first (and Marathon started as a Mac-exclusive anyway), I used command as my run key, which created boatloads of annoyance when I switched to Half-Life, since Windows doesn't recognize the command key, forcing me to use option/alt, which is my * sidestep* key in Marathon. (To add an additional layer of annoyance, pressing command while running Windows using all my Mac hardware opens the start menu, minimising anything you happened to be doing at the time. At least it has the decency to * pause* the game before it hides it away from me because I pressed what my muscle memory remains convinced is the sprint key!) * Try and figure this out: ** ''Roblox'' gameplay controls: WASD for movement (also arrow keys), right mouse button (click and hold) + move cursor = camera, "/" is the prompt for chatting, numbers keys are mapped to whatever's in your Inventory (changes between games and depending on what Gear you have), and other keys change based on the level, like the Y key starts a car engine if you have a car tool active. ** ''Toontown Online'' gameplay controls: Arrow keys ONLY for movement, camera is locked behind player (though angles can be cycled through with Tab key), letter and number keys go directly to chat, right-clicking does nothing, left mouse button is used for the [=SpeedChat=] Menu and pretty much any other menu-based stuff, including Cog Battles. ** See the problem? * After playing on her Nintendo DS for years, getting a PSP made [[Tropers/DarkInsanity13 this troper]] curse this trope. Since, you know, on the DS "A" usually means select and "B" means cancel, while on the PSP "X" (located where "B" is on the DS) is select and "O" is cancel. Constantly switching between them is all the more annoying, because once she gets used to one, she'll be doing that particular muscle memory on the other for at least half an hour.

** Speaking of X and O, this troper has that problem going from Asianregion games to US-region and vice versa. (In the former, "O" is confirm" and "X" is cancel; in the latter, it's the other way around.) This is particularly bad in the ''DJMAX Portable'' series; of all the games in the series, only one, ''DJMAX Fever'', is US-region, causing him to accidentally make a lot of wrong menu decisions when he goes from any other game to ''Fever''. *** This troper's having the same problem with [[SuperRobotWarsMX Super Robot Wars MX Portable]]. He constantly finds himself mashing the "O" button on the Home menu to get to the game before realizing to press "X". He adjusts quickly to most control switches, though. * This troper has had "turn the lights off when you enter a room" shoved into his head for so long that he turns on the light in his bathroom then turns it off when he leaves. Said light is burnt out. * This troper once stayed the night at a friend's house, playing Link's Crossbow Training for the Wii until four in the morning (for a total of eight hours.) At that time, said friend decided to go to bed, and I decided to try my hand at Resident Evil 4, also for the Wii. Completely different controls. * This troper has done this to himself after buying a second Wiimote and using it to play both ''HouseOfTheDead OVERKILL'' and ''[[ResidentEvil The Umbrella Chronicles]]'' GunsAkimbo. The most jarring issue is that the reticule colors for each player is reversed between the two games. * Whenever this troper plays ''StarFox 64'' and goes through Aquas, he spams the A (shot), B ([[strike:bomb]] torpedo), and R (DoABarrelRoll) buttons to BS through the stage. So when he gets to the stage after, Zoness, and forgets that his B button weapon is once again limited in stock and that he's now in the air instead of underwater... * ''CityOfHeroes'', by default, uses Q and E to turn left and right and A and D for strafing. I actually like this setup, but not well enough to change every other game's keybindings to make it consistent. So, when switching to or from [=CoX=], I often find myself strafing when I mean to turn and vice versa. (I also tend to hit space trying to jump, even if there's no jump command in the other game.) * Do not go back to traditional [=FPSs=] after playing Fallout 3 for a long time. I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 while screaming "Y IS NOT JUMP! WHY IS Y NOT JUMP!" and confusing the heck out of my friends. * This troper's family has two silver Chrysler Town & Country vans, 2000 and 2002. The parking-brake-release on the 2000 model is in the same location as the HOOD RELEASE on the 2002 model. Cue swearing, getting out, and slamming the hood back down (luckily I have never opened it twice in a row... yet.) ** On the subject of parking brake releases. Guess what's in the same place as the clutch on my other car. Clutch goes all the way in to disengage, so I can start the car. Parking brake goes all the way in to lock the wheels in place. ** Another car related example. My father's car's hand brake is to the right of the driver, like in most right-hand drive cars. My mother's car's is on the left side. The levers for the wipers are also just the other way round (up vs. down). I mostly use my father's car, so this happens a lot on the few occasions I do use my mother's car.

* [[Tropers/{{Ziggerfreud}} This Troper]] is quite reluctant to try out fighting games on MAME because of how whacked the control schemes get, hell, getting ultimate mortal kombat 3 to imitate my MUGEN control setup was a bitch in itself. * In my school district, we must wear ID badges at all times. This leads to habits of fiddling with them all day at school, and constantly checking to make sure they're there. Many people (including myself) will forget them for a day or so, and never notice they're gone. But everyone I know will freak out for a second when they reach for their ID and can't find it outside of school, like at the mall, or out to eat, or asleep in bed. I've even had times when I've exited the shower and reached for my ID badge and freaked. I'm not even wearing clothes, and I expect it to be there. ** Must be too many NotWearingPants dreams ;p * This troper frequently has trouble navigating menus in US-region PlayStation games. Why? In nearly every other video game system ever made, the button for "confirm" is immediately to the right of the "cancel" button and usually a little ways up. This standard was even maintained in Japanese PlayStation games. So why the frak did the numbskulls at SCEA change it for the US? * There is no sprint button in Fallout 3! Pressing the left stick makes you ''crouch''! Seriously, that's happened to me too many times for me to remember. I end up taking damage that I could have avoided but didn't because I thought I would sprint away while instead I was crouching. * For reasons [[Tropers/{{Quillpaw}} this troper]] cannot comprehend, on either side of her up key is a € key and a $ key (the second is doubly weird since shift-4 does the exact same thing). Trying to scroll up in a document and finding a string of $$s or €€s. It's incredibly annoying. * No, it doesn't matter what game I play, but if it's on a console and involves fighting I ''will'' press my left index finger for [[{{TalesSeries}} Free Run]]. The consequences are often fatal. * This troper's most frequented forum recently switched the order of two sub-boards, one of which she checks occasionally and the other all the time. True, the change was asked for because another pair of similar sub boards which this troper neglects is in that order, but she still winds up at the former board more often than she wants to. * This troper unlocked the Mirror Mode in Mario Kart for the Wii every track I'd previously done, except a mirror image, meaning ''every turn was switched from left to right or from right to left.'' So those tracks I could practically do with my eyes closed? Totally backwards. All i could think of was this trope. * A few tales from this troper: ** Growing up as I did in the DOS era, I got it ingrained into my head that CTRL and ALT were the keys to do something in platformers. Usually jump and fire. Then came the Windows key. I got so frustrated at calling up the Start menu that on any game that would let me, I remapped what had previously been mapped to CTRL and ALT to Z and V, because they were roughly the same distance apart. *** This troper has actually managed to avoid having windows keys on his gaming keyboard. When I can't resist any more I will do to my

keyboard what I did to that of a friend who was also fed up with hitting the windows key in games. I'll remove the windows key with a screwdriver. ** There is a version of the Berkeley Tools for Windows. Once placed in the system32 folder, these little programs allow use of some simple Unix commands in the Windows command prompt. After getting used to typing 'ls' everywhere, including in DOSBox, I would always get tripped up by having to type 'dir' on machines that don't have it. On the other hand, now, Windows PowerShell allows ls automatically. ** I got into [[CallOfDuty CoD 4]] for a few months. I had remapped Melee to mouse button 4 on my Logitech MX518. And then I went back to Team Fortress 2 for a while. Several times, I expected my medic to whip out the bonesaw with a single click. * This troper has developed the unfortunate habit of trying to CTRL+F books. ** Same. * This troper died to Killer Croc several times in ''BatmanArkhamAsylum'' because he kept pressing the "Use" button rather than the "Detonate" button, and didn't realize what was happening for a few minutes. * How many times have I tried to press the Y button to use my bike on a GBA Pokemon game, after having played Platinum for a while? Likewise, how many times have I tried to use the bike with Select on Platinum? The answer is: a fucking lot. * This Troper usually wears a family heirloom ring, and fiddles with it constantly. I left it at home one day by accident, and several times during the day I ended up touching my finger and trying to twist a ring that wasn't here. * This Troper, having gone from WarioWare Smooth Moves to Twisted, took an embarrassing amount of time to figure out you had to press the A button to jump in Wario Man's boss stage. Curse becoming used to physically carrying out the action! * This troper once tripped on a bus because the bus usually went before he sat down. Whenever a bus driver waits for him he stumbles about halfway through the aisle. * I work at a Netflix hub (the place where the [=DVD=]s are shipped to and from) as a ripper (the poor fuck who has to spend hours a day ripping the mailers). After a few weeks of doing this (to the point that I can do it without thinking AT ALL) the machine that sticks the [=DVD=]s in the mailer broke, so we were asked to stay later to pick up the slack (for extra pay, of course). The problem was that I was so used to throwing the mailers out that I had to stop myself from throwing away ones that were meant for you assho... I mean, fine folks. To go with this incident I actually said "damn you muscle memory!!!" (although I felt better when I saw that everyone else was haveing the same problem, at least I wasn't just stupid). ** They've got ''people'' doing that?! I always figured there was a machine. * [[{{Valbinooo}} I]] enjoy KnightsOfTheOldRepublic and {{Morrowind}}. In KOTOR, space pauses the game, left click moves you forward, right click makes the cursor visible and allows you to click on your inventory/etc., tab switches party leader, and caps lock does nothing.

In Morrowind, space is "use item", left click is "attack with melee/range/magic", right click brings up the in-game menu, tab does nothing, and caps lock is the walk/run button. [[{{Understatement}} Sort of frustrating]] if I switch between the two. ** Same troper here, but whenever I type "Morrowind", I instinctively want to type "morrowing". This happens a lot with typing. * Try swapping from a vehicle that has the gearshift as a lever behind the wheel (Mazda B2500 truck), to one that has it at the console on the driver's right (Kia Sedona van). I kept turning on the wipers while trying to put the latter in Drive. ** This troper has the same problem, but with different vehicles (switching between a minivan and sedan). Oddly enough, her minivan is the one with the gearshift behind the wheel. * How about waving your key fob at your ''brother's'' house? * Going back from Japanese arcade controls to American ones. Suddenly, the stick is taller, has a bigger throw, and moving it along its edges feels too smooth. Also you're now standing up instead of sitting, which makes you hold the stick at a now-awkward position. * This troper tried to play some ''{{Quake}} Live'' after having played ''{{S4 League}}'' for a few weeks. Notes to self when playing QL: ** Machineguns are weak. ** There are no {{Critical Hit}}s. ** Your melee attack does not cause you to charge around nor can you perform special jumping attacks. ** This is first-person, not third-person. * My sister apparently thought that she could open doors that she needed keys to as long as she had the key, meaning that she thought that she didn't have to actually ''use'' the key, because of video games. I myself have tried pressing the R button to block or dodge in Kirby's Adventure after playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl, and tried holding the R1 button to run faster in Kingdom Hearts after playing Sly Cooper. * Playing Pac-Man on today's Google logo. Who doesn't have a strong muscle memory of how to play that? * Going from IWBTG to Mega Man X on an emulator...I'm still trying to teach myself that I cannot double jump in Mega Man X. * I have an odd, non-gaming-related example: I often briefly switch mousing hands and don't bother to reassign the mouse buttons, so I'm used to clicking with my middle finger when I mouse left-handed. When I intend to keep using my left hand there for a while, I remap the buttons and then find myself constantly trying to click with the wrong finger. * On any given day, I will drive both a left-hand drive manual transmission, and a right-hand drive automatic. At ''best'' this means making my stick shift car cry when I try to start it by hitting the brake and turning the key. * [[@/{{TehNubkilr}} This troper]] started using the 'alt' button on his Windows 7 machine at home as the 'ctrl' button after working in a university research lab that uses Apple computers exclusively. It's not too bad, but it will take me a while to get used to both. Another time, I accidentally used the right-click as the scope button while

playing Halo 2. On my machine, the right click is assigned to grenades for Halo 2, but I had spent the past month on Crysis, where the right click was assigned to scope mode. What was originally supposed to be an easy kill turned into a [[HilarityEnsues hilarious suicide]]. ** Seriously, I get hit by this so much: when driving once, a shower hit, so I switched on the wipers in my car. I was driving another car a week later, and it rained again, so I went to switch on the wipers. In the other car, pushing the column ''down'' activates them (whereas the car I regularly drive requires that the column be pushed ''up''). Instead of clearing the windshield, I got a blast of wiper fluid, which made things worse. * [[Tropers/{{Keeyla}} This troper]] can screw herself up when switching between playing SecondLife and WorldOfWarcraft. I try to jump with the spacebar, log out by typing '/camp', or try to drag the camera around in SL, and I look for my camera-panning buttons in WoW. Not to mention I used to have a bit of trouble switching between the 4 different classes I have level 80s of, but I've gotten the hang of it now. However, the problem will probably pop up again when I roll my Warlock and Warrior in Cataclysm. Off the computer muscle memory, it took me a few days to stop trying to tuck my hands into the front pouch on my school uniform's sweatshirt once we got out for summer. * I got royally screwed by my guitar teacher, when he made me play [[ Bach's prelude in D minor (BWM999)]], a piece that I already knew WITH COMPLETELY NEW FINGER POSITION.This is akin to trying to forget to eat with your hands and relearn it with your feet * One that many people who have reason to be armed can relate to: This Troper was in a cafe, talking to a Royal Marine (on leave). Because the cafe had no umbrella stand, there was a walking staff (OK, fine, ''my'' walking staff) propped up against a table. It fell over with a loud bang; both he and I half-turned, half-started to dive for cover, while reaching for weapons that weren't there. The kicker? ''I'' was reaching for a sword... ** Same troper: I've also developed some idiosyncratic stances and gestures as a result of learning to manage a cloak in a crowd, as well as other anachronisms of dress. The most telling (but not most obvious) is my left hand automatically tries to rest on/control a sword hilt, making me look like a southpaw gunslinger from a SpaghettiWestern, while my right makes frequent "flicking" gestures either to my side or behind my back * This Troper was writing a rather long paper using [=LaTeX=]. Then he had to finish a piece of work he had started on [=OpenOffice=]. Cue him trying to use [=LaTeX=] commands on [=OpenOffice=]. ** Me too! ** [[@/CodeMan38 This troper]] has on several occasions managed to get [=LaTeX=] syntax and Wiki syntax mixed up. Needless to say, this gets [[strike:{\em very}]] ''very'' frustrating. * The serverroom at the place i work has a special door handle rigged to a fire alarm. If you want to get out you just have to type in a security code an pull the door, not the handle. If you do pull the handle down, you can get out but there is an immediate fire alarm. Very annoying

* Do not attempt to play Left4Dead and then ANY ResidentEvil game. Especially with a Wesker fan girl who threatens to throw you out if you grumble about the completely unintuitive controls. Goddammit, I should not have to come to a dead stop and then use two buttons to shoot. * When unable to find an object in real life, [[Tropers/{{HavocThricefold}} This Troper]] will often find herself standing motionless while trying to remember how to bring up the Search function. She is still waiting for the internet to catch up to her little habits... ** This troper has a related habit. When reading printouts from webpages or anything else where certain selections of text are printed in a different color (especially blue), this troper will try to tap the blue text with his pen, perhaps expecting something to happen. * This troper used to only use the PS2 she shared with her sister to play [[KingdomHearts Kingdom Hearts II]], which uses one of the buttons to jump. When she switches to playing {{Tales of the Abyss}}, which doesn't have a jump command, she had a very [[{{Understatement}} difficult]] [[{{Angrish}} time]] [[EarthShatteringKaboom adjusting]]. * This troper drives a [[CoolCar Pontiac Grand Am]]. His wife drives a [[TheAllegedCar Ford Focus]]. On the Pontiac, the ignition is located in the dashboard, between the steering wheel and the stereo/AC controls. On his wife's car, the ignition is on the steering column. So, if you, accustomed to the Pontiac's interior, were to blindly try to stick your key into that spot on the Ford's dashboard? You'd end up putting the key directly into the ''DC electrical outlet''. ** Isn't the Focus one of those cars with a reverse lockout ring, as well? * After watching Youtube videos for hours on end, this troper will wonder why in the world she can't pause a show while watching normal TV. Sometimes it gets even weirder: once she was listening to her father talk, and he said a funny line-and she wanted to go back a couple of seconds and listen to it again. ** The same troper also hated switching from TwilightPrincess on the Wii to TwilightPrincess on the GameCube (She was playing her main game on the Wii, and helping a friend out on the GameCube). Not only are the controls different, but everything is flipped--so instead of going through the door on the left side of the room, she'll go through the door on the right side. * This troper has played enough Dwarf Fortress that he will try to scroll more quickly in documents by holding down the shift key. * This troper set up her laptop so that her left mouse key works as a right mouse key and vice versa since the right mouse key no longer works. It takes a few moments for me to remember that most computers use the right mouse button when I'm not using the laptop. Another thing is that this laptop no longer has a working comma and period key so she must copy/paste in order to use those punctuation marks. She will find herself doing so even if she's on a keyboard where those keys work. Luckily this troper is getting a new laptop soon... * This troper once went from playing {{Xenosaga}} 2 (which uses the the circle, square, and triangle button to attack in battle, while the circle button ''selects'' on the menu) to playing {{Persona 3}}, where

the X button selects and the circle cancels in the field, while, in battle, the square button allows you to skip your turn, and the triangle turns on "Rush", a tactic that has everyone automatically attack with their weapons. Needless to say, she screwed up ''a lot'' of battles in Persona. * This troper saw a Police Officer on patrol casually wander in his general direction. He must've been playing too much Hitman, because his thumbs were reaching for those friggen buttons like mad. * When This Troper was a toddler, her uncle and his best friend liked to take her places in their pick-up truck. (Girls would come up to them to say "Aw, what a cute baby!" and they might get a date for the weekend.) Since this was the "good ole days" before seat belt laws and car seats, I would often stand in the seat between them and they'd grab me whenever they came to a stop. One day, they happened to have a young lady sitting in the seat I was usually in.... * This troper recently got fed up with how electric razors take such a long time to shave his face and still leave about 5-10% of his beard completely unharmed. He recently started using blade razors for the first time, only for his face to come out as a raw, bleeding mass of flesh ''every single time'' because he just cannot stop himself from pressing as hard as he used to. He also can't go back to electric because shaving this way is so much quicker. * This Troper had two cases of this trope ** I had been using using programs such as GIMP and Inkscape which uses middle click + drag to pan around the image I'm editing. When I use Photoshop, I repeatedly middle click and drag the image to no avail ** The second case involves me using Blender 3D, which uses shiftmiddle click + drag. After using Blender for a while, I always mistakenly use shift-middle click + drag in Inkscape which is the actually zoom function. AndThatsTerrible! * Some time ago, I was unable to shoot someone in ANY FPS with a sniper rifle. Dammit, I done everything right! No wind... And I aimed upward to compensate for gravity... Except I wasn't playing Sniper Elite. And I always shot any gard three times from point blank range in Splinter Cell. ** When I play any RTS with a commands pannel that I can activate with hotkeys, I always use (with an AZERTY keyboard): AZERQSDFWXCV, according to the position of the button in the interface. But they use the first letter from the command. Unlike Blitzkrieg. * Don't try to play SuperSmashBros after playing [[{{Touhou}} Scarlet Weather Rhapsody]]. The latter has a system based on "grazing" through bullets by pressing either the dash or double tap left/right. So, imagine me, confused why didn't Pikachu grazed through Fox Lasers... * In any fighting game, I usually ajust the shoulder buttons for quick combos. And example would be Soul Calibur III: L2:A+B L1:A+K R1:B+K R2:A+G. When I went to go play tournament style at this one place, I got owned because I wasn't using my should button style. Hell, THEY DISABLED THE SHOULDER BUTTONS! I managed to get fifth, but I was still pissed because the first round I lost was because I couldn't quick grab. * When [[{{Kargaroc}} I]] use Seamonkey instead of Firefox, I always

think that clicking the tab at the end of the tab bar will bring up a new tab, like it does if Firefox. But in Seamonkey, the same button CLOSES the current tab. I think I'm opening a new tab, and i just hosed whatever i was reading before. Insert trope name here. * Hello. I've been on TV Tropes for a four-hour session, because I attempted to go to Google Translate and instead of typing '', I typed '', and hit Enter. [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife Aaaaugh]]. * This troper spent quite a bit of time in Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep viciously Strike Raiding the nearest inanimate object when she only wanted to save her game. Why? Because in [=KH2=] and [=Re:CoM=], whenever green suddenly appears on your Command Menu or on the field, you push Triangle and something (usually) good happens. And in BBS, the commands such as save, examine, etc. are in green, but you use X for them. Pushing Triangle just uses a Deck Command. ** Same game, [[DarkInsanity13 different troper]] with a different problem. Switching between the story modes makes this troper forget than the three characters don't all have the same abilities, such as gliding or certain dodge moves. It was particularly frustrating finishing one storyline and starting another with a different character with none of the moves or abilities the other did (or not yet anyway). * This troper has a terrible habit of wanting to, and more often then not, pitching objects when he holds them in the palm of his hand. Also, when needing to throw things, I instinctively throw them like a baseball. * SlyCooper has a good control scheme that's intuitive - mainly because it's so similar to other platformers. Unless you've recently played one of the sequels, in which case you ''will'' find yourself cycling through special moves instead of, you know, actually ''doing'' anything. * Anytime I screw up in Real Life with my left hand on a flat surface, it will slide down in a futile attempt to press ctrl+z. * This troper has repeatedly gotten immensele frustrated due to his fondness of two specific games: Vampire: the Masquerade: Bloodlnes and Jedi Academy. Their quicksave and quickload keys are reversed, which, when alternating between them to often leads to horrible moments after particularly tough battles of "phew, that was insane, gotta save... NOOOOOO". * In vi I keep typing Ctrl-x Ctrl-c, and in Emacs I keep typing :wq! * This troper taught himself to read and, by extension spell off of books that were either '''a)''' Published and/or printed in the British Isles (I have british copies of the first five ''HarryPotter'' books) or '''b)''' were printed and/or published in Canada. (And the library had ''Adventures Of Tintin'' books that were basically the european english version) So naturally they have the British and Canadian spellings, also when we were learning how to type in schools, I was already good at it but the software was basically alternating between English and British spellings, probably so we wouldn't rely on muscle memory to type or something, but I still developed it anyways. Also, some games like ''RuneScape'' are European. So naturally, I have a tendency to use some British and Canadian spellings, so even in my

creative writing class I was asked why I had stuff like "Colour", "Glamour", "theatre", "Dialogue" (This one is often given a pass; I notice), or "Offence/Defence" in my stories and my response is pretty much DamnYouMuscleMemory. * In FinalFantasyII through to FinalFantasyV, casting a spell on a group of allies/enemies was done by pushing the D-pad left or right, depending on who you're casting on. FinalFantasyVI changed it so that you have to push the R Button to group cast, leading to this troper believing that group-casting was removed from the game altogether. * This troper just upgraded from an second-gen iPod touch (which he's had for two years) to a fourth-gen model. It's just similar enough in design that he hasn't really gotten the hang of the sleep button being on the opposite side and he keeps putting his index finger over the camera on the back; The old model had a plastic pad in the exact same spot that he used to idly scratch when holding the iPod. * I do this a lot, especially with writing, as I sometimes automatically write something if another word i use more often is spelled using the first few letters, I have also been known to write my username and password (for forums and stuff) instead of name and date on school work. Also I find myself looking for the undo button in real life when ive done something. * Left Trigger? The hell is that? ''Oh'' you mean L2! ** Explanation: [[Tropers/{{Theoneyoucallwe}} I ]] grew up on goddamn Sony Playstation; I will ''never'' make a full transition to "Trigger" and "Bumper." ** Also: WHY THE HELL IS GRENADE ON 'BACK' BUTTON IN MASS EFFECT?! [[NoIndoorVoice WHAT KIND OF RETARDED CRAP IS THAT?!]] *pause* AND WHAT THE HELL IS THE 'BACK' BUTTON ANYWAYS?! * In ''MarioKart Wii'', A is the accelerator, Right Shoulder is dirft, and Left Shoulder uses items (using the Gamecube controller). In ''[[SegaSuperstars Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing]]'' on the Xbox 360, Right Trigger is the accelerator, Left Trigger is drift, and A uses items. Going from the latter to the former resulted in a lot of "WHY AM I NOT MOVING?" * Any ''TeamFortress2'' player, when watching a video of said game, will move their mouse around to try and watch their back - when it's not even them. * This Troper plays both Fallout 3 and Left 4 Dead 2. He also has to keep reminding himself that you cannot look down your weapon sights in ''{{Left 4 Dead}} 2'' and can't melee with the butt of your gun while expolring the wasteland. ** I went from Fallout 3 to Call Of Duty: Black Ops. I kept instinctivly trying to use VATS. To make it worse, I decided to go back to trying to beat [[ThatOneLevel Executive Order]] on veteran (I was stuck partway through when I stopped before). * This troper, whenever he tries to type Kagami (as in [[LuckyStar Kagami Hiiragi]]), ends up typing [[{{Vocaloid}} Kagamine]] instead. * This Troper once spent an afternoon watching his brother play ''MetroidPrime'' with some friends. It was his first ''Metroid'' game, so he constantly confused the "shoot" and "jump" buttons. In an effort to help, we all chanted "B is jump" every time he jumped. It never really got old.

* I've been recently Googling a lot of minecraft stuff. When I was trying to get to Tvtropes I accidentally typed in Tvcraft... * [[@/{{endlessness}} This troper]] has quite a few ones: ** He has a netbook which don't have the '?' and the '/' keys, you need to press AltGR + Q and AltGR + W respectively to get them. Even when he uses his laptop-turned-desktop with external keyboard/mouse, he keeps using those keys for '?' and '/'. ** He uses an HP calculator in RPN-mode for most of his university work, and gets baffled whenever he has to use a non-RPN calculator. Similarly, anybody trying to use his calculator gives up after a while. ** Most Linux desktop environments use Alt-F2 as the "Run" dialog. Windows uses Win+R. Do the math. Happens to him whenever using Windows. Also, trying to switch virtual desktops (it's a shame that Windows doesn't have this feature by default). * Wait, "jump" is ''what?'' It's ''L1?!'' That makes no sense, HalfLife! And '''slow down''' already, Gordon! God, you'd think he'd never heard of walking! ** This is the HalfLife PS2 port, by the way. * Just recently [[Tropers/{{LLSmoothJ}} I]] have come to find out that from the right side of the screen, I am barely able to execute a {{Shoryuken}} command in StreetFighterIV and MarvelVsCapcom2 after years of playing other games, let alone non-Capcom fighters (I often find myself accidentally jumping forward/backward). With MarvelVSCapcom3 just around the corner, I seriously hope that this isn't a bad sign. * Both the Windows command prompt and the Unix ''bash'' shell offer the ability to run a "for" loop on a bunch of files. The syntax is ever-so-slightly different between the two; Windows adds an extra percent sign and parentheses, while Unix throws in some semicolons instead. [[@/CodeMan38 This troper]] uses both [=OSes=]... and always screws it up one way or the other. * This troper downloaded the demo of the WiiWare game And Yet It Moves; I spent the entire demo pressing A to (attempt to) jump. (I've deleted the demo--mostly because of this trope--but I think Z was actually the jump button. The A button for AYIM "froze" the scene and allowed you to "rotate" the scenery by tilting the Wiimote.) On a similar note, this troper also downloaded the demo of CaveStory, and kept trying to go into doors by pressing Up on the Wiimote's control pad (doors are entered by pressing down in that game). Finally, the laptop that this troper got for Christmas doesn't have a port I can put my external mouse into (it's not a USB mouse), but I keep reaching over for said mouse anyway when I want to move the cursor/scroll down/what have you. Also, the Fn and Ctrl keys are switched around from where they were on my last laptop, and the Delete key is ''two keys over to the left'', and Pg Dn is on this laptop where the Delete key was on my last one. * Thanks to a recent AxisPowersHetalia online event that required the refreshing of the page several times, this troper hit F5 inside of Print Screen like she intended when wanting to take a screenshot on the front page of the website. * When writing someone's name, I attempt to tab-complete it, even if I

am using pencil and paper. It's a habit I have picked up from countless hours on IRC. * This trope doesn't just apply to keyboard shortcuts. It also applies to file names when switching from DOS to Windows 95 and later. [[@/{{Roxor}} This Troper]] ran afoul of TheProblemWithPenIsland during the transition from DOS-style naming of files to full use of long file names. Why? Well, one stage in the transition is stopping abbreviation of words, but still not using spaces. Cue an unexpected snarky remark from the recipient when sending a PNG file of a screenshot from Series/DoctorWho as reference material to an artist when the file was named "doctorwhoref.png". * This troper plays lots and lots of {{Role Playing Game}}s. Most [=RPGs=] have the Menu button mapped to the Triangle/X buttons depending on the console by default (in this case, PlayStation and Nintendo consoles). Many ShinMegamiTensei games tend to screw me up by mapping the Menu button to the Square/Y button, and even the ones that DO use the default button also screws me up! Oddly enough, games that use the Start button as the menu (ie. every Kingdom Hearts game, GBA [=RPGs=]) don't have the muscle memory effect on me. * This troper plays a fair amount of FPS games, mainly ModernWarfare2 and Black Ops. Recently, he just tried out Bad Company 2 on an internet cafe computer. And what was 'use' in the former two games is 'chuck grenade' in Bad Company 2. Whenever he tries to access a supply crate in BC2, he chucks a grenade before he gets it right. x.x * This troper uses Windows for gaming and Mac for everything else. Annoyance ensues when he wants to look something up on the Internet during a gaming session and starts hitting Command-based hotkeys. On another note, switching from [[ResidentEvil5 Chris to Sheva]] was quite disorienting at first. You would think that a little thing like moving from the left side of the screen to the right wouldn't be a problem. You would be wrong. * When playing Dead Space 2, this troper remembers what frustrated him most in the original. "Kinesis" and "use medkit" are the exact same button, the former only requires the player to be aiming to activate. However, when a swarm of Necromorphs are suddenly bearing down on him, panicked button mashing ensues. This often leads to three or four medkits activating while his frantic brain attempts to figure out why spikes aren't flying. He will also find himself accidentally hitting B during perfectly calm moments, using up an incredibly rare and expensive large medkit to heal a sliver of missing health. B also happens to be "melee" in Reach. If a Necromorph gets too close for comfort, I heal instead of beating it back. ** Also, back before the computer containing all of his Oblivion data was consumed by a virus (days of game time lost, sadface), he used to play it for long periods of time. Shift was "block" and tab was "open inventory". Shift-tab, however, minimized the game. He would be locked into combat with a final boss for a quest (mods FTW), realize his health is dangerously low, and open up the inventory to heal. He would often do this while blocking an imminent attack. Cue game freezing and minimizing, a process that took at least five minutes. * This troper has experience with this trope taking place in ''one

game''. Capcom has been running a MarvelVsCapcom3 event across the country to hype the game up, and one of the biggest things they show is an arcade cabinet - really a pair or hard-wired sticks with a hidden PS3. The problem is that for some reason, the buttons had a habit of changing between matches. What was initially Light/Medium/Launcher/Heavy became Medium/Heavy/Light/Launcher. Not only that, but sometimes one of the assist buttons would turn into a dash button instead. Enter this troper. Generally pretty good at fighting games, went for like a 30-game streak on the machine. Suddenly, the buttons change, my brain doesn't get the message fast enough, and I'm off after one game. GODDAMN MUSCLE MEMORY. * [[{{Tropers/Kadorhal}} I]] have this issue with ''{{Blood}}''. I use the default binds for controlling, which gives me issues when I need to crouch, because Blood is the only non-CallOfDuty FPS I have where crouch is the C key. Oddly, I don't have the same issue with alt-fire being on middle mouse instead of right mouse, but it's probably because that's the same case in KillingFloor (which has the nice effect of making both games' [[SawedOffShotgun double-barreled shotguns]] work the same way). ** Also I'm having this problem now that I'm trying to get back into ''SuperSmashBros Brawl''. My original Gamecube controller is broken, my wireless one sucks, and I can''not'' play the game effectively with just the Wiimote or it plus Nunchuck, so I'm pretty much stuck with the Classic Controller, which puts attack on the rightmost face button, special on the bottom, and quick-grab on those tiny z buttons at the very top of the controller. Up until I reconfigure the controls so special is left, attack is bottom, and quick-grab is just R, because that is the exact moment my brain decides I actually became used to the default setup for the Classic Controller. Cue me jumping when I want to smack people and grabbing at the air when I'm trying to block or dodge. And that's not even getting into how sensitive the controller's analog sticks are compared to, say, the [[PlayStation2 Dualshock 2]] I'm used to. ** Me again, and once again ''Killing Floor'' related: after buying the game a year ago and always playing at pings averaging at least 100, I noticed when I played on a LAN server with my brother the other day that I could barely keep him healed from long range, because the medication dart from the [=MP7=] was now actually hitscan like it's supposed to be; I kept compensating for lag that wasn't there. This was especially troublesome because he was playing [[KnifeNut Berserker]] and frequently required healing. Eventually I switched to Sharpshooter and just shot things dead before they could surround either of us. * {{Prototype}} uses Shift for running and gliding and Space for jumping. BatmanArkhamAsylum uses Space for running and gliding, jumping is largely automatic, and Shift is only used for certain combo attacks. Switching between the two is...awkward. * [[{{Tropers/AccelSynchro}} This Troper]] learned the hard way that switching the controls around in certain emulators will end up screwing you over, even if they are better suited to the game you're pirating/playing. * [[{{Tropers/RAMChYLD}} This Troper]] had the issue while still

playing both Animal Crossing: Wild World and Animal Crossing: City Folk simultaneously: He'd often get the locations of the various landmarks mixed up. It's made even worse if one or more of the same neighbors are also living in both towns at the same time. * In WoW, the achievements screen is mapped to Y by default. For Rift, I'm stuck with H for now. Not that I give a hard damn about it as I'd rather play a game that doesn't have cheevos, but I occasionally check the achievements screen every so often (rather than opening up the raid screen as the Y key does). ** Hello. This troper (Frostsabre) again with another real life example. My A.P. Euro classmate would ask so many questions with the teacher on tests (example being "on number 24, what do you mean by substantial?") that he referred to our math (precalculus) teacher as (Mr [insert history teacher's name]) when he asked him a question. The reply? "I don't think he has heard that question." * My car (a Chevy Cobalt LT) has power steering. A few years ago said power steering went out (which was a common problem, mine just did it before it was popular). As the main page says, it's much harder to steer with no power steering after so long with it. *** When [[Tropers/{{Reflextion}} I]] was learning to drive, my teacher cited that very fact as the reason why he used a non-power steering car for at least the first few lessons. ** When I took it in to get it fixed my parents let me use the van I drove in high school. My Cobalt's shifter is by the center console. The van's shifter is by the steering wheel. Also, the van is (obviously) bigger than the car and thus drives differently. * [[@/{{Tadaru}} This troper]] thinks Ctrl+C is "copy". It certainly isn't on emacs. He must be the only CS-related person who doesn't want to marry Linux. * This troper once walked into a dark room, and instinctively reached for his F key (the flashlight button in Half-Life). The thing is- it wasn't a game, there was no F key, and I felt like an idiot afterwards. * When [[@/ShadicTheHedgehog I]] switch between my PC Laptop (Dell Inspiron 1500, I think) and A. Anyone else's different-model PC; or 2. My Dad's Mac, I tend to push the wrong buttons (ctrl+c does nothing on a Mac) or miss buttons. There's also the stupid decision Dell made to switch the shortcut buttons and the "F#" buttons, resulting in having to push the "Fn" key when I'm playing an emulator and need to quicksave with "Shift+F1." ** As well, when switching between [[DissidiaFinalFantasy Dissidia]] and KingdomHearts: BirthBySleep, I start screwing up because in Dissidia, I use the D-Pad to move, and in BBS, the D-Pad moves the Command Menu. It also works out inversely, as the Analog Nub moves the characters in BBS, while, with my preferred configuration, the Analog Nub moves the camera in Dissidia. Cue me just starting a battle against a high-level monster and I'm moving the camera while getting killed instead of running away. * Tip: When going back to play one's old PS2 platformers, make sure you stay within one series at a time and play something different during the transition... and if you're going to replay JakAndDaxter, RatchetAndClank and {{Psychonauts}}, do ''not'' play them in that

order. It's like doing trying to do English homework, then Japanese, and English again. * I never learned how to touch-type; I've simply used the hunt-andpeck method for so long that I can rely on muscle memory without needing to keep my fingers on the home row. The trouble is, muscle memory remembers more than just where the keys are; it remembers what movements to make for particular words, and has a tendency to go on autopilot once I've begun typing a word. I therefore trend to come lacrosse is a bit strange when I don't have time to spell-cheque. * I often surf TVTropes on my iPad. The problem with that is that spoilers don't show up when highlighted. I got around that by copying a spoiler I wanted to read, pasting it into the Note app, reading it, then deleting it. Guess what happens when I paste something into a note I want to keep... * When I got the Jump Ultimate Stars game on the DS, it took me a while to get the controls down, as A=jump, and B/Y= attacks, and the down button in the D-pad was guard. Soon I got the hang of it, but while playing Super Smash Brothers with my friends, I realized just how much I screwed myself over when I kept pressing A to jump back up the ledge and pressing down to shield. * This troper is a small-boat sailor and an instructor at a sailing camp. When she gets in the car to go home she has to think very carefully about turns, because ''the car wheel is not a tiller''. * I used to play a lot of StarWarsBattlefront before switching to ModernWarfare 2. So a lot of the sniper-type missions end up with me pressing the grenade button (RB on the Xbox 360), thinking I'm firing (R1 on the PS2, same position as RB on the Xbox), and dying in a hail of Russian gunfire. * Sudden motion tends to trigger a block reflex in this troper. Helpful for fighting games? Yes. Helpful in RealLife? It's a bit more mixed... the kicker is that I don't know how I developed that reaction. Also, I happen to know a DoubleSubversion of this: I ctrl-S pretty much every time I finish a sentence in a text editor out of habit. Then I open Gmail and type a relatively long email (still only a few lines). Hit ctrl-S out of muscle memory. The subversion is that this shortcut actually ''does'' let you save in Gmail. The doublesubversion is that you almost never need to save an email anyway since you almost always type them in one sitting. Surprisingly, I don't do this on any other site... * This troper, when putting aside a magazine yet still holding it, often moves his hand over it so it doesn't go into "screensaver mode". * [[{{Tropers/RAMChYLD}} This troper]] just experienced one while trying to play the classic Movie tie-in game TheLionKing. He has always played the Genesis version of the game, of which the "roar" button is A, which is the furthest left button on the gamepad. He just played the SNES version, and on that version, "roar" is also mapped to A, which unfortunately happens to be the rightmost button. Also on the Genesis version is that the "jump" button is mapped to C, which happens to be the rightmost button. On the SNES version, however, the "jump" button is mapped to B, which happens to be the "middle" button. HilarityEnsues. * This is the main reason [[{{Tropers/Pokenatic}} This Troper]] has

only played both KingdomHearts and JakAndDaxter on the same day once. * This troper has one from[[GaiaOnline ''zOMG!'']]: she has two different accounts with different ring a different order. For example, the healing ring on one account is in slot #6, while the other one has an attack or buff ring there, resulting in either useless buffs or accidental attempts at self-injury when trying to heal. She also has a non-game example: switching from [=OpenOffice=] (on her computer) to Word (on school computers). "Alt-E-P... what the huh are you doing?" Also, she once had to work with a keyboard that had the little nub thingy not on the F and J keys, but on D and J. Got a little annoying. * This troper has this problem when walking to classes in high school. Her schedule is memorized by the way she walks across campus to each class. The good part about that is that she can often zone out and not realize where she's walking, and end up at her next class while also forgetting just ''what'' that class was. The bad part is that if she has to go to the same place in one day twice (our school's laid out by section), she will repeat the previous step and end up in Science again instead of going towards the Math room like she was supposed to, again without thinking of just what room it's ''supposed'' to be. Another side effect of this is that whenever parent-teacher conferences come around, she has no clue what room number the classrooms are. * This troper has recently started playing [[KingdomHearts Kingdom Hearts]]. Thing is, she played 358/2 Days before (well, about half of it, before her save file went poof), and her first thought when playing the PS2 game was: "why did they have to swap the buttons?". Another example is trying to use English words in a conversation in Polish (troper's native language), as she usually spends most of the time reading/typing English, and actual real-life conversations are rare. ---Go back to DamnYouMuscleMemory. (Single left-click, by the way) ----

DanBrowned * This happened to my friend and I when we were in high school. We had to complete a paper on Sumerian mythology and read in front of the whole class. We DidNotDoTheResearch (due to laziness) and when we had to speak in front of the whole class we just made it all up. Our classmates were completely ignorant on the subject, so everything went fine... until a nerd started pointing out the {{CriticalResearchFailure}}s one after another *facepalm* * I chatted with a ghostwriter and she told me that she likes the idea of fiction based in real world history because it would give some knowledge to people who don't want to study history. I personally don't think that fiction should have this goal, because a fiction writer is prone to {{CriticalResearchFailure}}. * [[{{Sheora}} This Troper]]'s forensics teacher actually offered extra credit on an exam for watching an episode of {{Bones}} and

bringing her a list of up to ten things wrong with it. Each inaccuracy equaled one point on the exam. She had to cap it at ten or she would have been handing out A's to people who didn't even sit the exam. * This troper wishes to mock this trope by writing a novel that starts with a claim that everything in the novel is accurate and then proceed to completely abandon research, like having the climax take place on a beach on [[YouFailGeographyForever THE SOUTHERN COAST OF TIBET]][[hottip:*: And the scene in question doesn't occur when Tibet DID have a cost, before India collided with Asia]]. * There's a professor in my school who claimed the Homo Erectus came from the Homo Neanderthalensis. [[YouFailBiologyForever The truth? It is backwards.]] * [[ Well, more like Australian Radio Show tales]] but somebody got hold of the old definition and worked it into their show. Viewers phone in and give their examples. It's interesting, informative and funny, like this was meant to be... * Not sure if this goes here or somewhere else, but in this Troper's class, they had to write a paragraph-long summary of a chapter of a book we were reading, and he forgot to read it. Most of the students who didn't read it tried to act like they did. This Troper, however, chose a different approach... ->I had forgotten to read this chapter, so here's a summary of [[ResidentEvil5 Resident Evil 5]] \He apparently was going to get a minimal grade(it was crossed out), but it was changed to a [[CrowningMomentOfFunny basic.]] * One of my college professors- a Ph.D.- claimed that Vikings landed in Washington- the state, mind you- and cowboys invented the necktie. By the end of the semester, she used to flinch when she heard me say, "Ummm...", because it meant I was about to correct her again. Most mean-spirited A I ever got, and I feel no guilt. * At one point, having had a few drinks, I got into a long theological debate with a fundy christian who was soap-boxing in front of a large crowd of people. He was doing the whole "Gays will burn, blah blah blah, sodom and gomorrah, blah blah blah" thing, and I started calling him out on stuff left and right. The crowd was laughing as I started taking his points apart, leaving him so flustered that he blurted out this gem in an attempt to refute a point I had made: "Well, Dan Brown in TheDaVinciCode..." "Wait... I'm going to interrupt you here. Are you now attempting to use a novel... a book I would find in the FICTION section of a bookstore, whose author is notorious for [[DidNotDoTheResearch making things up]], as a source you are willing to cite in this argument?" "....Yes?" "No, go ahead, I was just wondering." At which point the audience, howling with laughter, shamed him off the 'stage'. * This troper works in a casino. Not in Vegas, but still. Troper works half her time in the slot department, and the other half in surveillance. She absolutely CANNOT watch LasVegas anymore without raging. ** Specifically, one episode had to do with a girl celebrating her 21st birthday (the legal age for gambling) at the casino. The second her watch shows midnight, she starts playing, and hits a jackpot on

the first pull. Turns out the casino's "official" time was three minutes to midnight, so she's still underage...cue plot. In real life, she would not have been allowed anywhere near the machines until the casino said it was the right date. Not to mention how opulent and spacious the surveillance room on the show is... ** In reference to the above, I've heard the same sentiments from just about everyone I know who has ever seen their profession portrayed on TV. TV writers hardly ever get it right; sometimes its for dramatic presentation, but most of the time, it's just 'cuz they failed to do the research. * This troper's original story is set in France, and thus I've tried to do as much research as I can. The failure comes from when I (and to be fair, I was only 13 at the time), gave my main characters fantasyesque names which are punny in themselves - turns out in France, you can't have made up surnames. My [[AssPull attempts]] at justifying it are: a) It's a fantasy book set on an Alternate Earth, why can't the names be a bit unusual? b) The migration of the characters' distant ancestors might have influenced why they have such weird surnames. [[VillainousBreakdown c) It's f***ing book, stop getting worked up over tiny details and enjoy the show]].

[[DanBrowned Take this well-researched, 100% true, completely factoid link back to Do Not Do The Research.]]

DanceOfRomance * My date felt this at our junior prom. Unfortunately, I didn't and in retrospect wonder where my brain was that night. It's like a character looking back on a DisneyAcidSequence and wondering, "What the hell just happened?" * [[@/{{KissofCamine}} This troper]] and her current boyfriend shared a sort-of roleplayed one shortly before getting together. Mind you, it was all in pictures but she still has the entire conversation saved on her computer. Minus the bizarre events leading up to said dance. * This happened to [[@/TheTallOne me]]. We had to take dancing lessons in gym, and the boy with whom I made a RealLife FanPreferredCouple and I kept ending up dancing together. It turned out that almost everyone in the class was working together to shuffle the lines so we danced together all the time. * This troper ''almost'' had a chance to try to invoke this on a crush at her cousin's wedding, but chickened out. We both hate dancing anyway, so it probably wouldn't have worked. * First dance of this troper's junior prom was this. Two friends who developed feelings for each other over the span of the past 6 months slow dancing together and nervous as hell. Partway into the song, a realization was felt and by the end of the song, this troper stood in a daze as her date held out his hand to her. She entwined her fingers with his and then they headed outside. ** That is seriously cute. * This troper attends a college with a very active social and swing dance community, so this happens quite frequently. Especially

considering almost everyone on the Competitive Dance Team is dating within the team. It's really fun to watch. * This troper is also a regular dancer and while nothing serious has ever come of any of the dances I've had, the sensation of swooping around a floor in a man's arms while terribly romantic music plays is enough to make any girl look at her partner in a new light, even if they've known each other for years. * The slow dance in this troper's prom officially confirmed his feelings for his friend. At the moment, it's pretty one-sided. * I had one of these at a party. There was one slow dance the whole night and I was asked to dance by a guy who had been in a few of my classes all semester and the end result was distinctly a Dance of Romance. Unfortunately we had both graduated earlier that day so no matter how romantic it was it wasn't going anywhere. At least not for a while.

Dandere * [[@/JET73L This one]] has is typically extremely reserved (as a result of being a natural {{Kuudere}}, then after being [[BrokenBird broken]] and built back up into something [[JadeColoredGlasses cynical]] enduring [[TrainingFromHell great practice]] forcing the more quiet form of {{Tsundere}}'tude back into {{Kuudere}}-ness), but has found that a few (well, two. Well, arguably two) people bring out a jovial, talkative personality even in public (the "in public" part leads to the "arguably"). * [[@/ROFLopadous This one herself]] is one of these. She just has a lot of trouble breaking the ice when it comes to meeting people but once that ice is broken, usually she's just fine. As time goes on, usually people come to find that she's just a nice girl who is [[CloudCuckoolander is touch out there]] and has a tendency to not shut up if you give her the right topic ** Hello, [[{{@/Joerc45}} I]] welcome you, soul mate. ^_^ ** Are you me? I'm chronically shy but I talk a lot once you get to know me... * [[@/GoldenLantern This one, too]], is pretty shy and also doesn't know what to ask when trying to initiate conversation. It doesn't help that she's the DistaffCounterpart of MrImagination (one of the rare ones who doesn't have an imaginary friend either), who loves her daydreams more than actual interaction. * This one starts out rather shy and unwilling to talk, but as time goes by, she starts to become pretty talkative if she's interested, and even has some shades of JerkAss. If she's not interested enough, then she just turns into TheStoic / DeadpanSnarker. * [[{{@/Phoenixor}} This troper]] in real life. On the internet, he's more of a DeadpanSnarker, but even then he can be rather cold when not talking to his [[{{Nakama}} band of friends]], especially his best friend and crush. It just takes the right person to break through the wall he's put up. * [[{{@/Kizuchan}} This troper]], so much. She'll actually be friendly and open with a lot of people, but they have to kind of chip through a layer of [[ShrinkingViolet shyness]]. To her closest friends, she's

actually a fairly cheery {{CloudCuckoolander}}. ^_^ * Being one of these is something of a source of frustration for [[@/TheHeroHartmut this non-drinking Irish troper]]. He's a [=COMPLETELY=] different person when with his colege's choral society, and singing to himself cheers him up a little when feeling lonely (regardless of whether in public or not). In pretty much all other social situations, however... * I'm kind of Spock outside and Deadpool inside. I'm slow to put myself out there due to [[AbusiveParents well]], [[KidsAreCruel problems]] but can be a full-on TalkativeLoon with the few people I trust, love all things cute, and [[{{Shipping}} ship]] friends (with them knowing about it.) Yes, even in a slash/femslash way. And am male. But if you don't know me, you'll probably be reminded of Teal'c. From season one. * This troper is a {{Shrinking Violet}}, who only talks when someone talks to her first, and is only singing "Dango Daikazoku" to herself, like a little girl. Many people ask me why I don't talk, but I can never answer them. But in my house, I am a {{DeadpanSnarker}}, and an [[{{AloofBigBrother}} aloof big sister]] * [[@/DarkstalerRaoul I'm]] somewhere between this and Kuudere. I'm generally one of those kinds of people who prefer to be left to their own devices, but somehow I end up drawing in people who won't leave me alone, won't shut up, etc, etc. When I'm with one of my friends, though, that's another story. ** Sounds like me. * I've gone through days completely mute before. I'd love to talk to people, but I've had a lot of really bad experiences with other people in the past, so I'm used to just shutting up, and expecting people to dislike me no matter what. If I find an opportunity to make someone smile, I might open up bit by bit. Only with my friends will I ever talk, but once I'm with my friends, my nature is revealed to be a perverted DeadpanSnarker. ** You are basically me, except more of a DangerouslyGenreSavvy GeniusDitz (or sometimes [[GeniusBruiser bruiser]] ) DeadpanSnarker with a SplitPersonality. * Oh yeah, this is me. Once you get past my nervousness around people and actually become friends with me, I'm a full-blown genki girl. * Get past this [[{{Rivux}} troper's]] inability to make a conversation, inability to make small talk, [[OverLongGag inability to ask someone the time]], I might open up to you. Might being the key word. * Who knew that there was a word that sums me up so accurately! I get insanely nervous when meeting new people and when big changes happen in my life overall, but after a while I get to know people better and things become routine enough that I develop a comfort zone among those people. It's still hard for me to make friends, though, being a huge nerd and only really being comfortable around people who share my interests. * This troper is a very quiet {{Meganekko}} who typically only speaks to people who speak to her first. Around her friends, however, it's a different story. She gets a lot more talkative. ** Are you me?

* This Troper has actually had people comment on her dandere-ness... I'm a {{Meganekko}} who kind of prefers books/ [[CloudCuckooLander my own]] [[MrImagination imagination]] to humans (after [[KidsAreCruel primary school]], I kind of ended up terrified of people), but if you manage to catch my interest and make me trust you, then I become a GenkiGirl and a lot more open about [[YaoiFangirl what's]] [[DeadpanSnarker actually]] [[CloudCuckooLander going through my head.]] [[SillyRabbitRomanceIsForKids Unless I'm around someone I have a crush on,]] in which case I become an odd mix of this and {{Tsundere}}. * This troper's boyfriend, while shy in mannerisms, will talk to me for literally hours. * This troper is extremely quiet and shy when first meeting people. It literally takes about ''three years'' for her to show her true, [[CloudCuckooLander weird]] self. To make this even more apparent, compare how she is [[GenkiGirl at school]] to when she is having [[ShrinkingViolet singing lessons]]. Her school friends even admitted that they could never believe that such a loudmouthed girl could be quiet and distant. * [[Tropers/SanaMae This troper]] is more-or-less one due to her rather sucky teenage years. She'll act like an EmotionlessGirl around most people (which is in fact just caused by trust issues and selfdoubt) but around my {{Nakama}} turn into a sarcastic, bubbly, GenkiGirl not entirley different in termperment from [[AxisPowersHetalia Prussia or Poland]]. * This Troper is a {{Shrinking Violet}} personified. She constantly turns into a blushing stammering mess whenever people she doesn't know well talk to her (and don't even get her STARTED on people she likes or admires). However, she really loves her classmates (and her few friends, even more so) and wishes they could find out some way, because due to her antisocial tendencies, people assume, she doesn't enjoy their company or feel awkward. * This Troper is this. I can be very shy. I can be very [[TheQuietOne quiet]] or [[TheStoic emotionless]], and I tend to be ignored a lot. Once the sort of shyness barrier is down and people actually start talking to me (or rather, if I start talking to people), I'm a fun person to be around. I'm actually very [[LargeHam over the top and dramatic]] for [[PlayedForLaughs comedic effect]], but I can't show that to just anyone. Aside from that, I'm also very kind-hearted and compassionate, if not a bit naive and gullible. But, I have good intentions that just don't appear apparent at first, since I'm just shy and I need to work on approaching people, or appearing approachable. ** Wow your like [[ZenoTheGreat me]], except for the fact that I'm pretty sure [[SplitPersonality I have ulterior motives...]] * [[Tropers/{{Sageheart}} This troper]] is over-apologetic (read: worse than usual) and barely speaks above the volume of a bee's wings whenever she is stuck with unfamiliar people; she's to scared and [[CloudCuckooLander stuck in her imagination]] for interacting with strangers. When she is [[NoIndoorVoice around]] [[LargeHam her]] [[CheshireCatGrin friends]], however...(which might account for her friends believing she is an {{Expy}} of [[YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries

Abridged Marik Ishtar]], because they don't see her around other people.) * [[Tropers/{{Haazii}} This Troper]] is strange in that around girls that she doesn't know well she is a full blown dandere but around boys she doesn't know she is a total {{Kuudere}} and {{DeadpanSnarker}} (Although they never seem to understand that the reason I don't like speaking to them is that they laugh at every word that I say), around people she knows she [[GenkiGirl is]] [[CloudCuckooLander completely]] [[MotorMouth different]]. * [[Tropers/{{United}} This Troper]] is an honest to God Dandere. If I'm around strangers or people I'm not comfortable with you will find it hard pressed to get me to speak. But once I get to know someone or if I'm with close friends I'm a lot more open and somewhat of a {{CloudCuckooLander}}. However I'm also somewhat of a Type 2 {{Kuudere}} to go along with my shyness. ---... ...You can go back to {{Dandere}}...If you want...

DarkerAndEdgier * Not sure if this belongs here, but I once had to do a point of view paper on The Pearl, after the attempts failed, I then had to change the subject of the point of view to a nursery rhyme. I then managed to turn a four stanza nursery rhyme into a story about how a boy became to be so misanthropic that he'd rather stay in jail than go into the outside world, and though I didn't make it obvious, he got into jail after he was thought to have commited a sex crime. My teacher loved it, apparently. And the best part of this is that it was suggested I do a nursery rhyme after my suggestion to do the paper on a song was rejected just because someone's head gets chopped off in the song, and for those who don't know, in The Pearl, a baby gets its head shot off. * This troper frequents [[ImageBoards /tg/]], and has seen them turn {{Pokemon}} into cute and fuzzy Eversor Assassins, set up the {{Warhammer 40000}} [[{{Transformers}} Autobots]] as being [[PsychopathicManchild Ork Trukks]], and Emperor knows what else. He's even ''responsible'' for coming up with a GRIMDARK CaptainPlanet in which the main characters were ecoterrorists and the Captain was a primal force of nature rather than a guy with a silly haircut and terrible puns. ** So what pray tell is the GrimDark version of the [[WhatKindOfLamePowerIsHeartAnyway Heart]] power? *** MindControl. * [[{{Etheru}} this Troper]] seems to want to try this in a fantasy work, well, actually, the first part would try to [[{{Reconstruction}} Reconstruct]] the Tropes associated with a Fantasy, in the TimeSkip, where basically, [[spoiler: after overthrowing the world's oppressive military, the "Dark Purities" show up, {{Well Intentioned Extremist}}s that want to "Purify" the world by removing what makes humans unique, the main hero (incidentally, a HeroicMime) is shown to be an

ArtificialHuman, also deconstructing purity of the heart, because [[PureIsNotGood if one is "Pure", they would have no understanding or sympathy for others, as they don't seem to even]] ''[[PureIsNotGood know]]'' [[PureIsNotGood what these concepts are, because their emotions are only set to "Save Everything"]], there would also be more NightmareFuel prominent, and at least one character trying to bring one person he loved back to life... [[WarpedAesop After she's advised him to not "Replace" everything (prior to her death, he started figuring out not everything could be replaced)]], so he tries to bring her back to life... And he used to be part of the ''heroes group''.]] * This troper's art style has gotten significantly darker over the years thanks to ArtEvolution. I went from an SD-Manga style to a more realistic, Frazetta-with-a-pencil-like style, getting more detailed with the skills I pick up. * This troper fell in love with this trope. When he is going to watch something which I suspect is too childish and cliché -infested, he often asks: "Does it have blood and gore? Or sex and violence? Or explicitly used religious references? Or controversial commentaries against the system?" Often I take kids' shows and turn them into Crapsack Worlds with lots of criminals and controversial topics. * This troper used this trope with Viandas/Evershadow Genesis. It was made as a Darker and Edgier version of New Dawn, a very idealistic little Sentai book. Viandas deals with such themes as the nature of existence, the truth of feelings, and near every character has a negative feature. TheHero is a Type Four AntiHero at first and is quite [[ByronicHero mad, bad, and dangerous to be around.]] His life thus far has been multiple [[GambitPileup very complicated plans all connecting and forming a very complicated web.]] Even the lowliest demon mook probably has an origin derived from HighOctaneNightmareFuel towers where horrible, horrible things happen. Oh yes, and then our lovable hero becomes immortal and lands in another series of Xanatos Gambits. You would think becoming a PhysicalGod would do good things for Johnson, but only means he can now be attacked by other Physical Gods, and the process of becoming such a being led to the opening of a gate that let TheEmpire into the still volatile world Johnson calls home... * Life in general once 9/11 happened, if you ask [[Tropers/CabbitGirlEmi me]]. ** So World War Two wasn't DarkerAndEdgier than the time before it? Vietnam wasn't darker than the post-WW2 era? There is a reason why real life examples aren't allowed - people's NostalgiaFilter may say things were great, but actually reality has a grimdark reboot every decade or so followed by a LighterAndSofter period. To say 9/11 is DarkerAndEdgier seems to me to be forgetting all the other terrible things happening in the world - and in Eagleland, too. * This Troper is her own Darker and Edgier: She's bisexual and has a whole range of fetishes spanning the entire BSDM acronym, but hasn't told anyone, for fear of brain explosions. (Her bright, bubbly personality was well established at school long before she realized all of this about her sexuality.) * This troper went through this starting in 11th grade, fueled by an increasing anger and frustration at nothing in particular. Luckily, an

outlet appeared in the form of [[CrowningMusicofAwesome Industrial music]]. * This tropers' alternate personality, who is even refered to as being 'The Dark Side of troper' * This gay troper has gone through this recently, he fit each letter in the BDSM acronym and has worn almost exclusively black for a while now; he's also started listening to {{Industrial}} and has an obsession with [[MurderArsonAndJaywalking death, murder, zombies, nonsparkly vampires, and theatre]]. Most people would not expect it [[PerkyGoth because he's always so happy]] [[CloudCuckooLander and weird.]] * Life as you grow up. Always. ** Bullshit. I know plenty of people with abusive childhoods whose lives are now significantly LighterAndSofter. Your life =/= everyone else's on the planet. ---Fly back to DarkerAndEdgier with all of the ponies! * Just to clarify, you mean the [[HarryPotter Thestrals]], right? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DarkFic * This Troper wrote a SonicTheHedgehog2 fic from the point of view of a turtle that Robotnik transmutes into one of his robot slaves. Basically, it combines UnwillingRoboticisation with MindRape induced {{Brainwashing}}. [[ Link]] * Pretty much all of Alex McMullen's stories on 'Clown' especially is a horrific crime story. There is enough HighOctaneNightmareFuel to drive a car across Australia in one go. Out of the thirty or so stories i've written about two thirds are violent horror stories. If you do check them out be wary of cannibalism, zombie babies, torture, mutilation, suicide, child death, dissembowelment and rivers of blood. Have fun! * This user wrote, and is continuing to write a ''CardCaptorSakura'' fanfiction where all the characters are sadistically forced to look at their inner sins, their "Kaos" as the fic's BigBad would call it. As the fic takes place between two seasons, the fic also explains the emotional growth the characters seem to have made in between seasons, despite that nothing significant appears to have happened canonically. ** While we're on the topic, this troper read a ''CardCaptorSakura'' fanfic that suggested that Clow Reed made the Clow Cards from ''people''... people who didn't ''want'' to be made into Clow Cards. * This troper wrote a very dark deconstruction of one of the ''AdventureQuest'' games, which shows how tragic life would be if every event/quest in that particular mecha game was rendered almost realistic. * This troper wrote a RealPersonFic where a FormulaOne driver had [[DeathNote shinigami eyes]], meaning he was able to see how long a person had left to live. And then he had to go through the 1994 San

Marino Grand Prix (an infamous race where two drivers died over the course of the weekend). [[ParanoiaFuel It kinda drove him crazy]] [[DrivenToSuicide and suicidal]]. Don't worry, [[IGotBetter he got better]]. ** I feel wrong for asking, but ... link please? *** Warning: a bit of slash in it. [[ Table of Contents here]] * This Troper wrote what was meant to be an intentionally over-the-top DarkerAndEdgier orgin story for [[TeamFortress2 the Pyro]]. It ended up being so dark I didn't even bother finishing it. A condensed version of the plot is that [[spoiler: The Pyro was a firefighter who sadistically burns people alive for fun while on the job.]] * Never mention a SuperRobotWars DarkFic from this Troper's point of view. Many Users were disgusted by how I wanted a Darker version of super robot wars * This Troper's online handle came from a vicious StarTrek DarkFic she wrote in high school. Her family was collapsing in on itself, a sociopathic bastard was screwing his way through her {{Nakama}}. Classes were stressful, I'd just outed myself as Pagan and Socialist in an {{Eagleland}} military town that defined "liberal" as "those bastards who hate America." Nothing was working, and there was nothing I could do about any of it. So I wrote a very long, supremely nasty fic involving religious terrorists on Bajor and pretty much puked all my frustration on the page. I kept the name as to remind myself never to do it again. ** This troper understands, sometimes I find it cathartic to write DarkFic. One of the fics written above? Written to cope with my grandfather dying. * I have written a few about people who have annoyed me, it helps me feel better and its better than calling them names or hitting them. * There is a very well-written StarTrek fic out there called "Two Summers" that is basically unabashed, unmitigated Wangst revolving around [[spoiler:Kirk mourning Spock's untimely and violent death]]. Even though it's all wangst no plot it oddly comforted this troper in a morbid, sadistic kind of a way, and the writing and shout-outs are awesome. It's written by Anon-j-anon, the writer of "Observations" (THE best StarTrek2009 fics out on the FanFicRec page!) so even though they are supposed to be in different universes, this troper makes "Two Summers" the sequel to "Observation" in her headcannon to make it even SADDER. Yes, I have problems. * This troper wrote Negima fic which involves the volumes after the Ken Akamatsu {{Writer Revolt}} being {{All Just A Dream}} so it can actually go back to not being all heroic and Shounen-ish and more of an {{Unwanted Harem}}. * This troper just can't help herself. She sets out to write fun smut (it is a hooker!verse she mostly writes, after all) and it ends up sad and bittersweet, with the sex as either comfort or issue-laden. Gah! ** It wouldn't happen to be ''the'' hooker verse, would it? * This Troper once tried to write a war-based DigimonTamers fic. He didn't get very far in it, but he plan on killing off Terriermon and thrusting Jenrya into a HeroicBSOD before coming to a few chapters

later, a la Simon from TengenToppaGurrenLagann. There would've also been very intense violence (some fight scenes planned were to be quite graphic), liberal swearing (Takato shouted "SHIT!!" in chapter two, and there had been uses of "damn", "hell" and "bastard" prior to that) and some slight sexual material (Juri was to sleep with Takato at one point in the fic, and Ruki was to complicate things by forcing herself onto him later). Thinking back on it now, I'm thinking that I might pick the idea back up. * This troper's fanfictions seem to turn into this even if they start out on the funny side. * [[FarisV This Troper's]] WIP Kingdom Hearts fanfic, Sins Of Our Hearts (sequel to Paths of Our Fathers), is definitely shaping up to be this. We have both Vincent Valentine AND Sora losing control of their {{Super Powered Evil Side}}s. Both of the aforementioned Evil Sides are freaking psychotic. Sora is going through some serious PostTraumatic Stress Disorder after having witnessed [[spoiler: a driven insane Riku slaughter and burn down the Destiny Islands and be killed by Sephiroth right before his eyes]]. Our heroes are called into a conflict they didn't even want to be drawn into thanks to King Mickey, and are now facing off against a triumvirate of [[FinalFantasyII Mateus]], [[FinalFantasyIV Golbez/Zemus]], and [[FinalFantasyVI Kefka]]. [[ItGotWorse Oh, but it gets even better.]] Vincent's methods of interrogating Imperials for information START at Rorschach-level brutality, and only get WORSE from there. Oh. And Kefka captures Vincent, torturing him by basically having the magitech lab people dissect him ALIVE, laughing all the while and getting off on it. {{Darker And Edgier}} in-freaking-deed. * This troper can't stand dark fic. I read mostly ATLA fic, and while there is much FridgeHorror there to be reaped and turned into HighOctaneNightmareFuel, I just... ugh. I liked ATLA for the way it turned out. I liked the idealism balanced with realism. I liked the darker elements... hell, the "darkest" episodes are my favorite ones. I loved the show the way it was, and I really don't need to read "what if Aang lost the fight against Ozai" fic. In a way, it seems disloyal to the show itself. There is plenty of ''good'' scariness to be had in that canon ''without'' damaging its integrity. I know it's a matter of personal preference, and not everyone agrees with me here, but there it is. ** You know what? I agree with you. I'm a Pokemon fan, and I've gotten really sick of how overloaded with dark fic the fandom is. Some authors can pull it off, but for the most part it's just the same tired plots and tropes. Besides, there are reasons Satoshi Tajiri made the games so family-friendly and idealistic, and I feel most dark fic thus goes against the spirit of the series. There are just so many good ways to write a more "mature" Pokemon story without going grimdark, and the mons genre has way more than enough deconstructions as it is. * My brother once managed to make a dark {{Hamtaro}} story. I don't even know how he pulled it off, he just did. * This trooper is a fan of dark fics also oddly humor. * This Troper managed to write out a DeconstructionCrossover DarkFic between HunterXHunter and {{Disgaea2}}, of all things. Sometime post

endgame in Disgaea 2, Adell ends up noticing that being a DesignatedHero completely [[BeingGoodSucks ruined his life]], and that it was [[spoiler: another person who ended up the chaos on Veldime]], making his presence ''useless''. [[{{Understatement}} He does not take]] [[SanitySlippage this very well]]. [[TheStoic Kurapika]](from HXH) is a result of this very same breakdown, [[DoomMagnet with]] [[ItsAllMyFault some]] [[FailureHero variants]]. * This troper write has written two [[AltFic alternate universes]] for ''HarpersIsland''. One, called "Captivity" (or "Life with a besotted sociopath"), is very much darkfic: basically [[spoiler:Jimmy dies after falling over the cliff with Henry and Abby is forced to remain on the island with Henry and go along with his fantasy life. No help ever arrives for her. She learns to survive by her wits alone.]] There are currently seven one-shots within the AU, all linked from [[ here]]. * This troper wrote a Literature/{{Twilight}} darkfic, though it's more a WreckFic. It's still in writing, but after subtracting the sparkles, there's murder, attempted rape, MindRape, an apocalyptic story in a [[WorldHalfEmpty very unpleasant world]] and liberal swearing.

DarkIsNotEvil * True as it is about Goths, black metal fans are, a hell of a lot of the time, freakin' nutty, and their fashion happens to coincide with {{Goth}} fashion a lot. This Troper happens to be a black metal fan, and, well...he chased his friends with a knife last Saturday. Yeah. ** This Troper would like to stay far, far away from That Troper. *** This Troper asserts that the First Troper is trying too hard. *** This seems more like a subversion. * This troper would like to point out that fashion sense does not equal personality. Some of the nicest people he knows dress in the goth style just because they like the clothes (and in truth having a bajillion pockets on your pants can be seen as beneficial) while some of the nastiest people he knows dress in what would be considered casual wear. Fashion is just another form of art. ** In addition to the pants that rival most backpacks in terms of carrying capacity, there also the trenchcoats that border on a {{hyperspace arsenal}}. This troper knows a person who manages to lug around pretty much every handyman tool you can think of with hardly any signs of it on the outside. Hammer, check, screwdriver, check, electric drill, check, spare battery for said drill, check, spade(don't ask...), check, various boxes of screws, nails, nuts, bolts, glue, check. The only downside is that the coat weighs only slightly less then a full set of plate armor and will demolish any coathanger it comes in contact with. *** How on earth does he/she carry the spade and stay able to ''walk''? * This troper would like to add that if one has the good fortune to be born a {{Pale Skinned Brunette}} with [[CommonEyeColours green eyes]] and [[GoodHairEvilHair curly hair]], there's often little choice in the matter. She can and does look {{goth}} in a pink polo shirt and

chinos from the Gap. ** This Troper is exactly the same way. My freckles and adorable catseye glasses help negate the effect, though. ** This troper is the same, only with [[KingdomHearts Xion's haircut]]+ pigtails. She's gotten both "adorable" and "intimidating." * Subverted- This troper is friends with a goth who is a total sweetie and is actually very lighthearted (and has a wild sense of hummor). * This troper knows a female goth, now 19, who used be rather dark and moody, with her {{MySpace}} page reflecting it. Over time, though, she became more lighthearted, as well as her page, putting more focus more on goth fashion and modelling than on the lifestyle. * This troper used to eat lunch with a group of goths at school every day, since he knew a few of them from years back. He was surprised to learn that they were actually very friendly and personable. * I would like to point out that all of you are totally awkward and I don't want to talk to you. :(. ** Nobody said you had to. Hey, you can go eat in the library and squee over P.B. Shelley, for all we care. *** Above troper deserves a MadeOfWin. First troper deserves... some help. * This troper's social circle subverts this trope constantly. Most people don't expect a bunch of goths to be the jokers at parties. * In this Troper's larp group, there is one guy with a bunch of piercings and a shirt with some heavy metal band on it every time he's there. He's one of the nicest guys ever, and requires a hug from everyone before he leaves. * This troper had a friend who was pretty much this. Always wore black, lots of pins and piercings, but she was incredibly kind and just fun to be around. It also helped that she was DAMN GOOD at math - the day we cemented out friendship was the day she helped me with my math homework... and she also happened to be a fan of DevilMayCry. She has since gone to uni and I haven't seen her for about 5 years. I miss her very much. * This troper typically wears black, but more in minimalist than Goth style, mainly because he hates choosing clothes. He's had several Goth and Black Metal fan friends in his life, though (and likes good metal music himself, too), and these days he associates black leather, piercings and other elements of such fashions with people who are nice, personable, and safe. If he'd have to choose whether to walk past a gang of metalheads, or a gang of soccer fans late at night, he'd choose the metal fans any time. * This troper's friends both avoid and play this trope straight. One friend wears black and is often referred to as the anti-christ, another group of friends are the biggest goths ever and the most cheerful and friendly people I've ever met. They even gave each other nicknames, and just to put the point across that they are fun-loving people rather than sociopaths, they gave me the nickname of "cub". * This troper has a [[DeadBabyComedy twisted sense of humor]], a tendency to level death threats, and [[VideoGameCrueltyPotential a love of video games that let you torment the enemy in various different ways.]] He's actually an okay guy, according to his friends. * This troper is a reclusive DeadpanSnarker, and everything,

'''everything''' she wears, owns or uses, is black. Her wardrobe, her purse, her backpack, her wallet, her mp3 player, every single one of her gaming consoles (Yes, including her Wii) and she seldom even turns a light on. If you do get the chance to talk to her though, you'll find her to be anything but goth. Sure she's snarky and can be a bit foul-tempered, but everything being black and her general dark-andspooky gimmick is more of a BunnyEarsLawyer thing. * This troper is essentially like this, his favourite colours are black, purple and blood red and he's the only member of his family who does not cry or freak out while watching horror movies, he's also a bit of a Genius Bruiser and a Dedpan Snarker. He's also at times a big softie and almost John Candy-like in personality terms. Although it is sometimes subverted when he's pretending to be evil. Despite his twisted sense of humour and his naturally creepy ability to do a good Peter Lorre impersonation he's actually quite nice. * This troper has never been entirely sure what being a "goth" entails, but she's accused of it often. She wears black everything, as often as possible, with maybe a slogan on the t-shirt if she's feeling really flashy. And has purple hair (my friend's idea, not mine). She's also the bubbly, upbeat one in her circle of stressed and slightly gloomy friends (all of whom favour either brighter or lighter-coloured outfits). * Somewhere in the region of 95-99% of this troper's shirts are black. Combined with the fact that her work uniform precludes black pants and shoes and she only changes into her work top at... well, work, she gets a lot of stares on the commute. ** Preclude... I do not think it means what you think it means. Unless you're being stared at because you have a black shirt with non-black pants/shoes. Which I'm not sure why it would elicit stares... *** (original troper) ...uh... y'know, I actually run a community for wrong words over on livejournal and I never thought I'd get caught in this. Include. Right. Yeah. Not preclude. ...I'll just run off and self-mock now. * This troper looks pretty dark from the back... dark hair, lots of black clothes... then you get round the front and see the black shirt has an Autobots logo or "To err is human, to blame someone else indicates management potential" on it. ** I want those shirts. Heck... I just hope you're a dude so I can justify my sudden schoolgirl-crush. * [[Tropers/AXavierB This troper]] almost constantly wears a black hoodie and seems, at first glance, to be a [[LonersAreFreaks brooding, antisocial creeper]], and has been called a future killer by peers. But in reality, once I warm up to someone, I'm cheerful and friendly to [[CloudCuckooLander an almost off-putting level]]. ** Wait, there are two mes ? * Dungeons and Dragons game example: one game this troper is in has her playing a Dread Necromancer for whom standing in the presence of paladins and clerics is painful, potentially fatal, and she's usually surrounded by undead minions. She's LawfulGood, the conscience of the party, and constantly expresses moral outrage at the presence of a Binder in the party. * This troper. Sure, I like black, maybe a little too much. Yes, I'm a

bit of a loner. But I'm a bit of a KuuDere[[hottip:* :...And the [[YanDere other]] [[TsunDere deres]], but that's beside the point...]], and when I warm up to a person... let's just say I've been compared to [[TalesOfSymphonia Colette]], [[FinalFantasyX Rikku]], and [[HaruhiSuzumiya Mikuru]] ([[FreudWasRight Not like]] [[MostCommonSuperpower that]]!),, and other such PollyAnna, GenkiGirl, or MoeMoe characters. * This troper wears all black, with military boots and a trench coat (As well as long hair, and would have had a goatee if he'd had enough beard growth). He's been described as "How can you manage to be so cheerful all of the time?" and "Possibly the least dangerous person I've ever met." He also has a natural affinity with children and a goofy laugh. * All of this troper's mother-figures (besides her actual mother, who is... not particularly maternal and can be unnecessarily harsh) have been very, very goth, or otherwise dark, heavily pierced, exotically dyed, and quirky. They seem to enjoy taking care of me for some reason, despite the fact that I [[HugeSchoolgirl am not exactly waifish]] and [[ADarkerMe am an unnecessary drama-llama]]. Every group needs a den mother, I suppose. Not all these warm, maternal people are even female, either. * Might as well contribute to spreading the good word. This troper would, if the colour black was anthropomorphically personified, marry it and sire an extensive and saturnine brood. I like dark, disturbing music and movies, enjoy solitude more than other people and, if I ever got published, I'd do my level best to give my reading audience night terrors. For all this, and despite some tendency to cynicism, I'm also incredibly comfortable to be around. It helps that I'm a doormat and frequently bubbly to the point of mania. Also, I've got a fair few friends from goth and alternative backgrounds. While they're not all perma-cheerful goody two-Doc-Martens, they are still amongst the friendliest, good natured people I've had the fortune to know. * This troper can control the element of Darkness and is one of the most heroic people she knows! Of course, she also lives in her own little world and alternates between the Cloud Cuckoolander and Magnificent Bastard personalities that share her body, so she suggests you don't listen to a word she says. * Raekuul's newest project centers around a (Male) Virgin BareFistedMonk who can't get into the Knights Proper because of his Vampiric powers. Not that it really bothers him... * This troper always wears dark clothing (not a goth, he just likes it), and he can safely say he's the most empathic and sensitive person in his entire school. [[TheStoic Undercover]]. * [[Tropers/AXavierB This troper]] is a [[LonersAreFreaks recluse]] and {{deadpan snarker}}. His trademark item of clothing is a black hoodie, and he has an extremely morbid sense of humor. Everyone thinks he's an evil sociopath, but when you get to know him he's [[{{Keet}} irritatingly cheerful and airheaded]]. * This troper likes to wear her Harley-Davidson combat boots with her ZettaiRyouiki. [[ These]], for reference. ** That sounds [[FetishFuel so hot.]]

* This troper isn't exactly dark, but he's generally a loner and doesn't talk much. In spite of this, he's known for being an allaround nice guy. * This troper has used the Magic the Gathering colors in a personality test he created that he can give on the spot to just about anyone that uses three of the five colors to help me figure out your personality. Some of the nicest people I know have Black in their personality color triangle. * This user is kind of a jerk (flipping off salesmen, using deathglare with reckless abandon to get people to move, and occasionally just running down underclassmen with a rolling backpack), wears fairly dark clothing (green, dark gray, and occasionally black if I am in a bad mood...Except for my trademark silver jacket, that coat's been through three JROTC camps, and four hunting seasons without taking any serious damage, it may very well outlive me. So I consider it a good luck charm/security item), and I hate people seeing my eyes, so I wear sunglasses on any day where it is not dark or rainy enough to render me nearly blind by doing so. BUT I don't hesitate to help the few people in this world who's existence I can actually tolerate for more then five minutes. And WILL DESTROY anyone who messes with them in the most effective manner possible (I obey all laws, however, you can't help your friends if you're doing 20 years for kicking a bully in the genitals). Being a douche does not make you evil. - Exdeath64 * [[Tropers/{{Falconfly}} This troper]] wears usually a dark coat, has black hair and spends a good part of his time resting in shadows; people tend have the LonersAreFreaks behaviour (aka: avoiding having anything to do with me) and those who are friendly somewhat seem to be scared, except my friends. That said, while I'm not truly malevolent, I'm ChaoticNeutral, and my InternetToughGuy impression genuinely seem to keep at bay any trolls or assholes, since I haven't had a single attacking comment on my DA page even when people who are simply atheists or LGBT have. * While this troper isn't nescisarily 'goth' He does have a tendancy toward dark clothes, leather trenchcoats, has dark hair, and actually experiences physical pain from the sun (Very light sensitive eyes, great for seeing in the dark, sucks for daytime). He also tends to strike up a conversation with just about ANYONE that he sits/stands near for longer than 5 minutes and will often be instant friends with them, consistently plays good alingment, and is considered the 'safest' boy that any of his girlfriends have ever dated. Oh, and did I forget to mention that my first car was a RETIRED HEARSE!!!! ** AJ? That you? * This troper is black. I haven't even killed anyone this month. * [[Tropers/{{GosuroriOtaku}} This troper]] has extremely pale skin and eyes and tends to dye her hair dark (it looks nicer that way)and wear deark clothing. She is also somewhat a {{deadpan snarker}}, but is generally considered a kind, trustworthy, friendly person by almost everyone she knows. At least those that don't yell 'Emooo!!!' at her from behind. * This troper's wardrobe is mostly black. It's warmer, and simpler, and though she doesn't consider herslef a goth, she does have a personal preference for the shade and style. However, she's

[[ApologizesALot chronically polite]] and just doesn't like being mean. People have commented on her 'surprising' cheerfulness. Also, little kids tend to gravitate towards her despite the dark appearance. Or perhaps, because of? Who knows. * It's a bit roundabout, but this Troper and her internet friend once got another internet friend really riled up by calling this trope on an OC she made, an evil gargoyle. Attempts to convince her that, historically, gargoyle's weren't evil, resulted in said internet friend throwing a hissy fit and not talking to either of us for a week. It was a nice week. * [[Tropers/{{Umbee}} I]] wear mostly black, I'm a huge NightmareFetishist, and I sometimes go out of my way to creep people out. But I'm also one of the nicest people I know, if a bit shy. * This Troper noticed that, every day when he has Law as 1st Period, there's always the same girl dressed in black in front of the classroom, waiting for class to start. Once, this Troper addressed that with a quip ("You use some kind of teleportation spell?"). When we ran into each other before class the next day (by chance -- we had different classes that day), she told me that remark hurt her feelings. I apologized, explained that I was going for a cheap laugh, and we shook hands and made up. Geez, colBoh, have you learned nothing from [[WesternAnimation/TeenTitans Raven]], [[AhMyGoddess Urd]], [[FullMetalAlchemist Lust]], and [[VideoGame/PaperMario Vivian]]? * This troper isn't goth, but wears black. He also has an intimidating physique, a deep menacing voice, a blood-curdlingly evil laugh, a sinister smile, a penetrating glare and tendancies towards MagnificentBastard and DeadpanSnarker... and yet his friends still love him. * This troper doesn't need to be a goth (although there was that phase...). This Troper is just socially awkward and was never led in into the joke of social skills. However people who took time to not be offended by this tropers mere presence often state how surprised they are that you can be nice and a bookworm and that wearing glasses doesn't make you arrogant. * [[Tropers/{{Gerusz}} This troper]] wears a lot of black (except in summer), has a black computer, black speakers, a black MP3-player and a black pen case, filled with black pens, most of them actually writing with black ink. He also listens to metal, has a penchant for DeadBabyComedy, BlackComedy and GallowsHumor. He is an extreme DeadpanSnarker on a [[SnarkKnight Daria-level]], and hates white lies with a passion, resorting mostly to BrutalHonesty. He is also extremely loyal, responsible, trustworthy (especially regarding secrets and promises), and practically can't refuse to help any of his friends. And his brutal honesty is not his mean of deliberately hurting others, but results from his personal ideas, despite him being otherwise extremely cynical. * In a roleplaying game, I made a character who was the nicest Shadowcaster you'd ever meet. She worshipped Pelor (The sun god) claiming that because shadows require light, which comes from pelor, it must be good. She regularly talked her way out of fights, and would even try to finish an enemy off with her non-lethal attacks, if reasonable. She wore blackened leather, carried around an umbrella,

and got really angry when enemy spellcasters used the good power of shadow for evil purposes. * This troper had an old friend who was extreme in her goth/emo dress. She was also one of the nicest and cheeriest people this troper has met. * Me. Just me. I listen to lots of metal (especially death metal), wear lots of black, have long hair and a giant goatee, wear a [[{{Badass Longcoat}} black leather duster]] everywhere from fall through spring, and is consistently referred to as an incredibly nice guy. I try pretty hard to be as nice as possible. * This troper got some strange looks walking down the street with her friend, both dressed entirely in black, laughing hysterically, locking arms and skipping, patting each other's heads... Additionally, her boyfriend, who dresses like a simplistic Hot Topic goth, is the nicest boy she has ever met. * All year round, every day, [[Tropers/TheAmazingIowan This troper]] wears long blue jeans and a black-colored heavy metal t-shirt. I'm a devout liberal Christian and an ActualPacifist. * This troper's favourite colour to wear is black (with blue being a close second), listens to a lot of rock and metal music (and is currently typing this while listening to Nightwish's song "Wish I Had An Angel": look up the lyrics and make of that what you will) and is rather anti-social to strangers. He is, however, one of the nicest guys in his school (for some quick maths: he's 17 3/4 on the posting date (18/2/11)), has an incredibly level temper (he's not been in a fight for over five years, despite enough abuse from some people lasting at least three years (it's not as bad as it was: some of it was pretty bad, but, when he started studying for his A-Levels, it mostly faded away, as most of the abusers left school)...and the last fight was an agreed one, so it didn't technically count: the last unagreed one was six years ago and the other person had basically been abusing him for half a year both in school and out (she walked the same way home he did), so he feels it was justified) and is a pacifist on the level that he will not strike the first blow in a physical fights. * This troper is known for wearing the color black. It is a color he feels fits him, due to [[DesignatedVillain various reasons.]] He's also African-American, and so he gets in trouble a lot with the police ,particularly because he looks [[DarkIsEvil suspicious.]] He is a FriendToAllChildren, JerkWithAHeartOfGold, and borderline TheMessiah. Wears black pants, black shirt, black hat, and black [[CrazyPrepared steel-toe shoes]]. Though in his personal opinion, he's something of a subversion. * This she-Troper. Pagan, bisexual, Geek Chic with hints of Indie Goth. Although slow to warming up to people, relationships are vital. Couple that with a short stature, and one has a lovely dark doll with frightening intellect to cherish. * Pick any employee in Hot Topic at the mall near this troper. Despite the fact they're some kind of "rebellious" stereotype incarnate, they treat you like they're your friend. * [[Tropers/{{Zenelithia}} This Pretty Goth Chick troper]] has gotten many, MANY stares and many people sent scurrying in the other

direction just because of her looks. 99% of my clothes are black, and the stuff that isn't is red. Big metal music fan who enjoys walking around in long skirts, boots, pentagram necklace, and a trenchcoat adorned with all sorts of buckles and metal thingamajigs. Has been called "emo" ONCE (definitely gave that person a death glare, GOTHS AND EMOS ARE NOT THE SAME,) "goth" numerous times (which I am happy to accept,) and even been called a devil-worshipper (which funnily enough, I am now, and this trope applies to that too!) Everyone who gets to know me says I'm one of the nicest people they have ever met, my teachers commented if I "wasn't so lazy, could be in Honors classes," and I am VERY shy (Social Anxiety Disorder anyone?) I also have a [[WorldofWarcraft "For the Horde!" t-shirt, and a Legendary Warlock t-shirt.]] Plus I'm a huge nerd, I even love math. * In the stories of this Troper, Darkness [[AnthropomorphicPersonification in human form]] is represented as a shy, weepy YamatoNadeshiko. Then there's her "mother" Water, who actually has ''darker'' skin and hair than she does; and [[{{Yangire}} alternately gives just about everyone she interacts with tons of affection and tons of physical and emotional abuse]]! * This troper has the tendency to get the cold shoulder from her classmates for being a horror fan with a [[{{deadbabycomedy}} darker]] than [[{{blackcomedy}} dark]] sense of humour and a particularly sinister appearance. People are actually shocked by the fact that she is [[{{perkygoth}} optimistic]], polite, and very friendly. * This troper does weird things with this trope. I look utterly, utterly girly (fond of makeup, dresses, heels, jewelry, etc.), am a laid-back optimist, and...delight in morbid things. It's a running joke among my friends that I'll go cannibalize small children when I get too hungry and my poetry-course classmates are amused that all of my stuff winds up about poison or murder or the gruesome death of a goldfish cracker. I've had quite a few people get freaked out overhearing such conversations, and it took a long time for aforementioned classmates to realize that finding creepy stuff interesting doesn't necessarily make me a crazy, gloomy, unhappy person. * This troper is working on a subversion in one of her stories, where the leader of the group of heroes is visually a Terminator {{Expy}} who is the most intelligent and well-spoken of the team, whereas the villain looks like an incredibly beautiful human. * This troper wears nothing but black and tends to hang out in the background, simply because I like the color and I'm a fairly shy person. [[DeadpanSnarker Deadpan Snarker]] to the extreme, as well as fairly cynical. I've dressed this way since fourth or fifth grade, and I've been called "goth" or "emo" often, even though I don't identify myself as such. I'm too lazy to do the fashions correctly, and I dislike metal music and many other stereotypically "goth" things. Dark humor is the best kind of humor, and I tend to stay pretty quiet if you don't know me. However, if you do know me, I'm probably one of the most silly, nice, loud and sarcastic people you'll meet. I can never seem to stop cracking jokes, as sarcasm and humor are my security blankets. I'm also fiercely loyal to any friends, and I tend to be the one friends come to for advice.

---Don't let my black cloak and [[RedEyesTakeWarning glowing red eyes scare you]], I'm just here to direct you back to DarkIsNotEvil.

DarkReprise * This troper has actually co-written a sarcastic echo version of 'All By Myself' for a pantomime. The song was designed to sound heart rending, until the ugly stepsisters ended each musical phrase with nasty comments about the quality of the song. Like all the best pantomime gags, this one came about partly because we couldn't think of a way to finish the phrases, and partly due to our inability to play anything straight. * When this troper was with his last girlfriend, our "song" was about how much we loved each other in spite of our flaws. Listening to it now, the song is a lamentation about how this troper still can't get her out of his head, despite everything she's done to hurt him. What's even better is that the lyrics or the tone don't need to be adjusted at all. * All For The Best from {{Godspell}} has a certain bitterness to this troper after he got rejected from the local production of said show. Now I go to the theater every day after class and perform Jesus' part on stage. * See my TroperTales entry on MusicalWorldHypotheses for information on this. -OOZE ---Revisit the DarkReprise now. Suddenly it's a [[FunnyAneurysmMoment lot less lighthearted...]] <<|TroperTales|>>

DarkSkinnedBlond * This editor recently saw a picture of one of his classmates when he was about 5 or 6. No one previously believed him when he'd said he was blond as a child. Needless to say, he was. Combined with his dark skin and green eyes, it had a rather jarring effect. His hair's jet black now, though. * This troper saw a lot of DarkSkinnedBlond women at a graduation in Spring/Summer 2010 in a city outside Boston. * This troper knows someone who is attracted ''exclusively'' to tanned blond Germans. * In the eerie coincidence category, while this troper was reading this page at work a dark skinned young man with blond hair walked up to the counter! * This troper somewhat applies to this,as his hair used to be black,but in his familiy(On the guy's side anyway) it has turned more of a [[WhiteHairedPrettyBoy silver]] color.That and the fact that he's African American. * This troper's cousin had children with a half-native American women, he's blonde, she's dark-skinned, their kids have blonde hair and dark skin.

* Common where this troper lives, in Oklahoma, where Native Americans and whites intermarry often. At least three who fit this description goes to This Troper's school. ** Having done a recount, there's six, they're all female and all very hot. * Sun bleaches hair and tans skin, so this trope is quite common in Southern California. This troper's sister is olive-skinned and sandyhaired. ** This troper can assert to that. When she was a kid, she definitely was tan with sunbleached hair, but then went reclusive at puberty and has ended up as a brunette with fairly pale skin... other than the farmer's tan on her arms. * This troper's mother; she's part Cheyenne and part German. No-one ever believes she is naturally blond, a cause of great annoyance to her. * This troper had a guy in one of her creative writing classes once, who was a Navajo man with naturally blonde (actually, bright ''yellow'') hair. She even recalls him saying, in one pre-class discussion, something along the lines of: "Yes, my hair is actually this color naturally." * This troper's older sister. * [[{{Joerc45}} This troper]] dyes his hair blonde at times, but is a bit too light to fit this trope without the proper tanning. ^_^ * I recently met a Russian girl who had been working as a lifeguard. She fit the description perfectly. * This troper's brother has sandy hair and skin which tans til it's almost the same colour, and he spends a lot of time outside, so . . . he ends up being this trope. Also, my mother was apparently this when she was younger, complete with pale blonde hair, although she spends too much time indoors now to work up much of a tan. * this troper when he was around 4 years old, had bleach blonde hair and very tan skin. Now at 19 he has Dark brown hair and is very pale. * My mother is the very definition of this trope (to contrast with me, her PaleSkinnedBrunette daughter), although she was not born this way. She was born with dark blonde hair and only slightly tanned skin, but now that she's 53 (and looks only in her late 30s), she touches up her roots (and accidentally dyed her hair) with a platinum blonde dye and it looks quite natural. Her dark skin comes from working in the sun all the time (she's essentially a gardener). Also at my school (the poor man's Los Angeles on the East Coast), many girls bleach their hair and get tans that resemble Snooki's. * This troper had a classmate in elementary school who had ruddy skin and blond hair. She was definitely Turkic, and she got poked fun at for being a blonde Asian. Teachers thought she was albino, apparently she wasn't. * I once worked with a black woman who was naturally blonde (so was her daughter) but she was frequently accused by an older black coworker to dying her hair in a attempt to "pass as white" kind of a phenotype stereotype with a negative connotation (is there a trope for that?) I commented that apparently it's understandable for white people to have variations in skin/eye/hair color but all other races must be homogeneous and she backed off.

* I have a classmate who looks just like this. She's extremely tan, although her hair is pale blonde! I don't think it's a dyejob either. * This Tropette fits the trope. When she spends enough time outside during the summer in the good old Los Angeles County heat, she can get the perfect look. As she hasn't for the past few summers, she's fairly monochromatic now, but with summer closing in, she intends on getting the {{Dark Skinned Blond}} look back. What's worse, her best friend is an {{Eerie Pale Skinned Brunette}}, which makes the contrast so much more visible. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DarkSkinnedRedHead Ever met a natural redhead with dark skin? Naaaah, didn't think so. ---* My hair is more of a copper-color than full-on red. :/ But I'm certainly pretty brown. * Well, thistroper met one who dyed her hair red. Does that count? ** ...No. * This troper's brother used to semi-qualify. His hair's towards the browner end of the spectrum of redheadedness but it still counts as red, and when he was younger he always had a bit of a perma-tan, not a lot but more then you'd expect of someone with his hair colour. However, not even the perma tan could withstand several years of him hiding in his bedroom so he's been disqualified. * This troper knows one - a half-Iranian girl who has naturally red hair, a permanent deep tan and... freckles. ** HNNNNG! *** This troper does too. * This troper once had a cousin (by marriage) who appeared black except for his naturally red hair. She never met him, as he died when she was very young, but her mom told her about him. * Uh, my friend has naturally red hair and is black. It looks good on her. * Considering all the characters mentioned are either Arabian in origin or just have a tan....Yeah I've met plenty of "dark skin" redheads since when was Tan considered Dark skinned I thought it was just tan. * I doubt this. Really? I am dark skinned, because I'm mexican, and also because my parents took me to the beach every day since the day after I was born. My hair is copper red. So... Nobody else? Really? Please, don't let me be alone. ** Hey buddy, if I could tan, I would. ** My mum has dark olive skin and naturally auburn-red hair. She didn't like being a redhead, though, so she dyed her hair brown. Also, my dog is a Shiba Inu- they have orange fur and black skin. I don't know if that counts for anything. Just throwing it out there. * My youngest brother and late great-uncle. We're fair-skinned black. * This troper has a cousin who's Hispanic on her mother's side (giving her darker skin) and part Irish on her father's side (giving her

really red hair and freckles). * A friend of mine has a Scottish father and Filipino mother. She's short, curvy, deeply tanned, freckled, and has the most vibrant red hair I've ever seen. * My family is heavily English, Irish, and Scottish (English and Irish on my dad's side, Irish and Scottish on my mom's) with some Belgium, French, Penobscot, and Creek thrown in (Belgium, French, and Creek from my mom's side, Penobscot from my dad's). I myself have bright red hair, green eyes, and the palest skin in the world (I can't tan). My brother has brown hair, blue-grey eyes, and he tans lightly. My little sister, however, has red hair, hazel eyes ... and she TANS. And she's out in the sun a lot, too, so she has a pretty good tan, too, even in winter. So, yes, TV tropes, I have met a dark-skinned redhead. * My genes are a genetic cocktail, so I can become one when I spend too much time in the sun. People would always ask me if I dyed my hair, but they didn't believe it was natural, so I dyed my hair Dark Brown and secluded myself in my room, effectively becoming a ''PaleSkinnedBrunette'' * This troper once saw a little girl with deep tan skin and orange hair. Looked very unnatural, I don't know how it happened. * This troper's immediate family excluding herself because of her status as the ''PaleSkinnedBrunette''. No, my father's not the milkman. Heritage: Shawnee/German on father's side, Stockbridge/African/Russian on mother's side. * This troper technically is one. As in I tan to a certain extent during the warm months. I think being portuguese irish has something to do with it. * I have dated two redheads in my time. Both loved to sunbathe, neither would tan they both would just kind of turn from pale white to pink. * This troper works with a guy whose father is of Greek decent and his mother of Irish. This has led to him having flaming red hair and olive skin, and meant that when he lived in Australia, he got dark rather than burnt. This very pale blonde is excessively jealous. * This troper's friend's family has several of these. Apparently, several generations ago, the great-great grandmother was an AfricanAmerican slave owned by an Irish man. I'm sure you can guess what happened. Ever since then, those genes crop up once every generation. My friend's aunt has red hair and striking green eyes, which led her to become a professional model for a short time back in the eighties. * This Jewish troper knew several Israeli girls in her hebrew school with very dark skin and bright red hair. My hair turns reddish in the sun, but it's predominately dark brown, and I have light olive skin that never burns. <<|TroperTales|>>

DartboardOfHate Putting a picture of someone you hate on a dartboard so you can throw darts at it isn't limited to fictional media. Some people do it in real life too.

---* [[FroggoFan64 The troper starting this page]] does it with pictures of cartoon characters he detests, such as [[FostersHomeForImaginaryFriends Bloo]] and [[TheFairlyOddparents Trixie Tang]]. * I've got one for Miley Cyrus. * This Troper's father made off with a large picture of Dick Cheney a while back. It just needs corkboard and darts (or so he will tell us gleefully) to be complete. * I used to have(and have since retired)a Sadamm Hussein dartboard that had seen a lot of use. I've been looking for a B. Hussein Obama one to replace it, but have yet to find it. * [[DeltaOne This Troper]] had a friend who, as a hobby, threw knives. Proper throwing knives. She used to practice by putting a cardboard cutout up against a piece of corkboard and throwing at it. Most hilarious one was a cutout of Harrison Ford, which she couldn't bring herself to impale. * This Troper's mother took a target home after a day at the shooting range. She took a sharpie and named it after her Ex-Husband. * This Troper could use a picture of the [[WhatAnIdiot Obama-hating troper above]] to use as ''his'' dartboard. ** This troper would lend you darts. * In the sixth grade, a friend of mine cut up our class picture and put the people she hated on her mini dartboard. * Back when I was first year law student, right before Christmas break of our first semester a classmate who decided to drop out after that semester gave me his dartboard as he was getting rid of excess belongings so he wouldn't have to move them. I found a picture of the professor I hated most, put it on the dartboard, and took out my frustrations with him that way. * Not real darts, but this troper has a target for suction darts with [[{{Adolf Hitler}} Hitler's]] face on it. Previous targets have included Benito Mussolini, Pol Pot, and [[{{Arson Murder And Jaywalking}} Steve, this one jackass I knew from school.]] ---Return to the main article [[DartboardOfHate here]]. Ten points if you get it through Hitler's nose. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DastardlyWhiplash * For a script, I made a parody of this. But who would play it straight? It's so damn funny! * This troper had to compose an original melodrama as part of a school assignment. Of course, I was playing the villain- Dr. Crash Blink, exactly like this trope, but [[RecycledInSpace IN THE FUUUTURRREEEE!]]

DatePeepers * [[{{WJC}} This Troper]] remembers hearing about one poor guy in his year at school who liked a particular girl. However, every time he went to ask him out, his volleyball team would turn up and watch. [[{{PassThePopcorn}} Once they even brought chairs.]] (Eventually, she said no.) * This troper made a rule that no one was ever allowed to ask her out in front of people because she's a heartless bitch and also because of the traumatic experience of being backed into a corner and asked out while at least five of her friends watched and egged the guy on. * While not peeping directly per se, my friend will frequently text her roommate about every five seconds to call a "hand check" when she's on a date. ** Similarly, another one of my friends proposed text-bombing my newlywed friend on his wedding night. The idea was quickly nixed as being in bad taste, though. * My elder sister was slow dancing with her boyfriend at the school dance. I walked up to them and said hi. They both gave me the finger at exactly the same time. It was pretty much synchronized a little creepy actually. * The night my ex asked me to be his girlfriend, my friends stalked us from a distance, hiding behind cars and trees in the parking lot, and yet they still managed to miss our first kiss. They actually stalked us quite a bit in the early days of our relationship, before they decided they didn't like him.

DatingWhatDaddyHates * This Troper spent three years dating a woman whose parents couldn't stand me... and I'm in no stretch of the imagination a "bad boy." * This Troper isn't allowed to date any non-geeks. Dad's orders. Don't think this is going to be a problem though. ** [[GeekyTurnOn Like]] [[{{meganekko}} geeky girls]]? * This Troper was very reasonably asked to never dated a man who grew up in a culture where women are subservient to men. On the other hand, Dad also warned her about [[CompleteMonster Red Sox fans...]] * This Troper in high-school once dated a girl purely to rub it in her father's face who I despised. Quite twisted really. * Black and Liberal in Georgia. Blond and blue eyed Cheerleader girlfriend's father makes certain commentators look Liberal with his beliefs. At least he has a good sense of humor. For Christmas I got a Rush Limbaugh book from him and I got him a Keith Olbermann talking Bobblehead and Mug. * Subverted with this troper's family. This troper's Armenian relatives(his mom's side), who are way into their Armenian-ness, have never had any problem with the fact that his father is about as whiteAmerican as one can get. * Subverted with this tropette's family as well. Her Japanese grandparents don't mind that their daughter married a white-American. ** On another note, I think my dad is relieved that his little girl has sworn never to date a Democrat (my family is Republican) after a

pretty nasty and uncomfortable period of time wasted with her ex. * This troper's close friend dated a communist just to piss off her father. * This troper's mother wants her to date "Dr. Prince Charmington Harvard Yale Brown III, Esq." And she does go into borderline KnightTemplarParent mode when it comes to protecting her from "threats to her well-being," so she is always very anxious about bringing guys home. Her father is (usually) more easygoing, but then, he isn't the one who dominates the family. * This troper's father hates people who are jewish. Her current boyfriend is jewish. ----

DawsonCasting * This troper, then fifteen, played an eight-year-old CreepyChild in a video for French class (by necessity -- she was working alone on the project, and couldn't find a little girl to play her character), and her appearance wasn't very convincing (largely because she kind of slapped together a costume which emphasized her HartmanHips by accident). * This troper once played little orphan Annie at age 13. * This troper is 26. He's still sometimes mistaken for a high school student. (Being [[TeensAreShort 5'4'']] probably has a lot to do with it.) * This troper is 20. Most people put her age at around 14. I've been told this will benefit me in later years, but it is ''really hard'' to get people to take me seriously as an adult. * The reverse, as a result of DawsonCasting... this troper lost out on the role of 15 year old Kim in a production of Bye Bye Birdie because it was decided that she was too young-- at age 16. * Proof that this trope is [[RealityIsUnrealistic affecting people's perceptions of real life]]: [[Tropers/TheRedRedKroovy this troper]] was on a field trip to the Great Swamp National Wildlife Refuge with his (college) biology class, when we were asked by one of the landscapers what {{high school}} we were from. We told her "college," and then joked around with her about watching too much ''GossipGirl''. * One of my female friends is 5'3" and has a very childish face. She also acts like a little child, she's always hyper and she has a short attention span. Most people think she's 13 or 14. She's 17. (And extraordinarily brilliant.) * [[{{Be}} This troper]] routinely gets asked for ID at bars and such, which is fine, clean-shaven there's no way he looks 18. It gets slightly harder to stomach when he gets asked for ID when attempting to buy games or [=DVDs=] rated 15. FYI, he's 21. ** I wouldn't call that Dawson Casting. People who are in the business of checking ID often err on the side of caution, which is why many establishments post signs that they check ID for anyone who looks under 30. I don't know so much about video games, but a bar can get in a lot of trouble for serving underage drinkers. *** It depends where you are. In most of the United States, that's true. In certain parts of Canada, however (like Quebec, where the

drinking age is often considered "just a suggestion") it's not such a huge deal. So you went to the bar at 17 rather than 18. Who cares? * This troper's friend is a professional dancer who, at 28 years old, still looks young enough that she got an audition for the UK national tour of ''HighSchoolMusical'' - as one of the kids! * This troper frequently gets carded by the proctors at the high school where she teaches! I'm frequently mistaken for a student. I can't blame them, though, as I have been stopped by a cop who thought I was a sixteen year-old truant. I'm 33 and barely 5'2, by the way. * This troper has always looked younger than he is, a family trait. Both of my parents are in their 70's, and look at least 20 years younger. I'm 40 and still get mistaken for being in my mid-20s... even moreso when I shave off my goatee and mustache. * This Troper is a 19 year old, who was once mistaken for an 11 year old. People think her tall 15 year old sister is older than her. * This troper is 21. But her young face, [[PetitePride small chest]], and [[TeensAreShort height of 5'5"]] cause many people to believe she's about 16. * This troper, at 21, doubled as Fleance (12-ish) and Young Macduff (maybe 5 or 6) in a production of {{Macbeth}}. True, she was the youngest in the cast, but she was also the ''tallest''. She wound up spending the whole murder-of-the-Macduffs scene sitting on the floor. * A girl I know expressed irritation at this trope, she was rejected at an audition for looking too young for the parts they were casting, even though she was the same age as the characters. * I've experienced the inverse of this. Wear the right clothes, carry around the right attitude, and a 20-year-old can convince the guy at the counter he doesn't need to be carded. * [[MtOlivePickles This troper]] is kind of an odd example. When I had been at my job a year, one of my coworkers asked how old I was and was surprised when I said 22: "I thought you were seventeen at the most!" But when I was actually underage (around 13/14, to be exact), I was thought to be much older than I was due to being tall for my age and [[BigBreastsBigDeal being more developed]] than the average middle schooler. * This Troper, despite being seventeen and taller than her fourteenyear-old sister, is often mistaken for a twelve-year-old while said sister is thought to be at least sixteen. * My friend has looked like she belongs in fifth grade since she was in seventh grade. She's seventeen. People ask her what elementary school she's in. Obviously, she always tries out for the little kid parts in drama. The trope was horribly inverted when my friend was extremely excited to try out for Gavroche (the little boy) in Les Miserables. The part was given to a fifth grade boy because the drama teacher thought that no older student even wanted the part. ** Technically that is horribly ''averted'' because Gavroche '''is''' supposed to be a child (though 13 when he dies). Inverted would be if he was supposed to be an older teenager and this happened. * In this troper's area, a "child" on the buses is from 6 up to 16, though people try to buy them afterwards. I managed it for about a year before being [[GrowingTheBeard foiled by facial hair]]. Rumours abound of people trying it on at 18 or 19. My mother supposedly

managed it until she was ''23''. * I've often have the reverse of this, when I was fourteen my neighbor had asked me how old I was. I naturally replied "Fourteen", the neighbor went "What? I thought you were at least sixteen or seventeen!". Also, the first year I started high school, countless people thought that I was either a junior or a senior. I have also been mistaken for a store clerk and also someone working in a hair store in the mall. Parents say it's because of my "personality/maturity", I say otherwise. * A friend of this troper is a recent graduate in her early 20s who's played kids almost half her age onstage, due to being about 5'2" and babyfaced with the figure of 13-year-old. * This troper, at almost 20 and a sophomore in college, was assumed to be a sophomore in high school. * [[Tropers/RandomSurfer I]] am currently 43 years old, and am playing Artie Straus in ''Compulsion'', based on the Leopold & Loeb murder case. Artie is the Loeb character - age 18. "He barely even shaves yet!" * This troper's 15 and STILL gets asked if she wants a kids' menu at resteraunts. * This troper often feels Dawson Cast in his own life: he's ''barely'' 20, but is always taken for being in his mid- to late twenties. * I'm 40, above-average height, buxom, and I really do have some grey hairs mixed in with the light brown. Most people guess my age at between 23-25, and a couple people have even guessed 20. One professor teased me about having a fake ID after he found out my real age, and another used me as backup in our history class when we reached events that I could remember. Funny thing about the second- a girl in class got very indignant over my "claim" to be older than the professor, and the usually deadpan professor was smirking as he confirmed that, actually, I was. * I'm an 18 year old college freshman and I was watching the movie ''Remember the Titans'' with my younger brother and he commented that all of the high school characters in the movie were younger than me but they looked way older. I had to explain this trope to him. His response, because he is quite snarky, was "You're just mad because you look young". While I admit that I am younger looking than a lot of guys my age, even the older looking guys my age don't look as old as the actors in that movie. * This troper has tried ''excessively'' to get cast as younger girls in plays (only a year or two younger than my age) but is always rejected for being "too old and tall"... okay, maybe 5'8 is tall for a fourteen year old but still! Then when I try out for 17-22 year old girls I'm not cast because I'm "too young". I just can't win!!!!!!! * My grandpa played that nerd who stabbed Brenda in Scary Movie. But he was credited as "young man in theatre." * My high school is putting on {{Urinetown}} as a play, and Little Sally is being played by a teenage girl. It's very disconcerting to see The sweet little Sally driving home after rehearsals. * Last year, I was in a homeschool production of ''CheaperByTheDozen''. We had a few aversions... but the boy playing Jackie, who is supposed to be the youngest (not counting the babies,

who were mentioned, but unseen in the play), was in 7th or 8th grade at the time (I can't remember), and in an inversion, the mother and father were played by a junior and senior in high school, respectively. This was particularly awkward when there was a line near the end about Mr. Gilbreth being in his 50s, which was referring to how [[spoiler: he was having heart trouble.]] Also, one 7th or 8th grader (I can't remember that detail either) played three characters, two of who were supposed to be in high school, and another who was the family doctor. I was actually one of the aversions, playing Frank, Jr., who, while not the oldest child, was the oldest boy. I was 17 at the time. In another inversion, the girl playing Anne was, again, in either 7th or 8th grade (I really can't remember any of those...). * Not a Dawson Casting example, but an example of how Dawson Casting ruined my ability to tell how old people are at first glance, especially women. Women in general love this, because I've mistaken a 40 year old for 22, but this also has a downside, I often also mistake high school girls for being around 20, and that could land me in a heap of trouble if I'd never find out the girl's age and pursue a relationship with her. * Some years ago at a library I wanted to take out a video but the librarian said I needed to have a parent sign a form saying that I understood the rules about being careful with them and would return them on time, etc. "Can my husband sign instead? I'm 25," I told him. Also, a teacher refused to let me into a school where I was substitute teaching during lunch period, because she thought I was an elementary school student when I was 23. Finally, I was hit by a snowball when I was walking into another school where I was substituting. The boy who threw it wailed to the principal, "I wouldn't have thrown it if I'd known she was a teacher!" (They had a no snowballs policy, though.) The fact that I'm five feet tall probably has something to do with all of this. ----

Get someone to take- oh, wait, you can drive? That's right, it's your ''character'' who's 12. Go back to DawsonCasting. <<|TroperTales|>>

DaydreamBeliever * This troper used to have a friend who honestly believed that the four main characters of ''YuYuHakusho'' existed -- and, not only that, but they existed to protect her from demons and were invisible to normal humans. Granted, she was thirteen at the time... ** ''Thirteen?'' Um, [[FlatWhat what.]] * [[@/SabrinaDiamond This troper]] has clearly been watching/reading too many anime and movies and wishes at least half of those movies were real, or if I wish or think hard enough my own characters would become real (like in the theory of Tulpa). Thanks to reading Animorphs, when young I had some ParanoiaFuel about the Yeerks coming

to invade us- and now I hope Pandora (the Avatar movie!) exists in some AlternateUniverse... Being a Therian doesn't help at all. I think that my own life is a really badly acted unfortunate RealityTv show! * This troper spent her entire childhood expecting to become a [[SailorMoon Sailor Scout]] when she turned 13. She was also very disappointed about not getting a Hogwarts acceptance letter. Oh, the wasted years... ** [[@/JET73L This troper]] was a DoubleSubversion. Of ''course'' there's no chance of getting accepted to [[HarryPotter Hogwarts]]... Hogwarts operates in and for Great Britain, so there would have to be a separate system for the U.S. On top of that, I had been rather fatalistic about meeting Harry Potter in any sort of system transfer/inter-school activity, since although the films' Harry Potter was to be less than a year older than I was, the book Potter would have been in a different age class altogether (and, as evidenced by later clues and eventually WordOfGod, graduated by the time the first book came out in the U.S.). Yes, I did the calculations. [[ArbitrarySkepticism I was quite strange]]. This of course ended long before the fourth book came out, which actually introduced the idea of schools from other countries. * This troper and his aunt have thought about the idea that in an alternate universe, their lives are a manga. Fairly odd, but not compared to some of the above... * [[@/{{sabrina_diamond}} This troper]] thinks her life is a computer game/reality show and the goal is... ** This one wants to comment on how he's increasingly sure he's a character in a sitcom, complete with frequent silences after something silly happens because of course he can't hear his own LaughTrack, but can't because he's supposed to take such comments to this trope's nonexistent Troper Tales page. *** This troper semi-seriously entertained similar beliefs when she was young, but reflected on what a plotless show it was. Now she knows better... she is living in a postmodern novel about politics and the internet. *** Maybe it's [[{{Seinfeld}} a show about nothing?]] ** [[@/{{Specialist290}} Yours truly]] used to suspect that his life was a sitcom when he was in high school. Now that he's in college, he's starting to wonder if it's a {{seinen}} anime... ** [[@/{{Nomic}} This troper]] sometimes thinks his life in high school took place in a sitcom, but he wasn't the star of the show. *** Just be glad it wasn't a teen drama. ** You too? Just looking over this wiki has [[@/{{Ryumaru}} me]] convinced that my life is... well... just check my Contributor page. ** This is all, of course, incorrect. This reality is, in fact, the setting to a video game, and, while most people believe themselves to be the main character, [[@/DamienTheKillerIguana This Troper]] is quite aware that he is nothing more than [[BossBattle a boss]]. Possibly a RecurringBoss, possibly an [[BonusBoss optional superboss]] or maybe just a [[ThatOneBoss really, really hard one.]] Whatever the case, one day, I will have a massive battle with someone in my own personal arena, and, though I'll ultimately defeated by him, ''it's really gonna be FUN!''... This Troper has issues with this

trope. ** This troper's high school years were ''definitely'' a sitcom of some kind set in [[OneGenderSchool an all boys school]]. He was most likely the main character, a BrilliantButLazy CoolLoser and fluctuated between "generally kinda popular" and "loner" [[DependingOnTheWriter depending on the episode]], with plots varying from everyday life to the... really, ''really'' stupid antics that he pulled on a semiregular basis which [[StatusQuoIsGod always sorted themselves out somehow]]. * This troper has invented a (semi...) complete fictional history of the [[LordOfTheRings Middle Earth]] auto industry. Ties in with an old legend in car circles that the 1957 Chevy stayed in production ''somewhere'' well into TheSixties, along with the usual branch-plant suspects. * This troper occasionally worries, late at night, in bed but before he can go to sleep, that some day he's going to run into a character he wrote early in his writing career. They are not likely to be happy with or forgive him. ** I do this same thing, but with characters I have now. It would be both awesome and horrible to meet one of my characters. ** If any of the characters [[@/{{Digital-Madness}} this troper]] ever wrote about were to meet him, he would have a whole lot of explaining to do. * [[Tropers/HopelessRomance This Troper]] has a friend who honestly believes SherlockHolmes existed and will [[BerserkButton tear you a new one if you say otherwise.]] * [[@/PlanetCool This troper]] (who shamelessly identifies himself as a DaydreamBeliever on his contributor's page) often entertains the possibility that the characters in many (if not all) works of fiction can actually think and may even be aware of their lot as fictional characters, a la ''ThursdayNext''. He also considers the possibility that they ''don't'' know they're fictional, a la RealLife. * In her formative years, this troper steadfastly believed that she and her friends were [[{{Digimon}} Digidestined,]] and were going to be swept up into the Digital World any day to help save the universe. She even could have sworn that one of her friends was "possessed" for a little while by [=DeviTyrannimon=], the BigBad in the Digital World at that time. Unless they were given VictoryGuidedAmnesia by a kindly Mega-level Digimon, this hasn't happened yet. ...Damn, now I'm wondering. * When somebody says that [[AnimationAgeGhetto animated films are nothing but kiddy trash and have no real artistic merit]], this troper can't help but feel that the person is more than a little [[FantasticRacism racist]] against the [[{{Toon}} toons]]... * This troper, at 11 years old and having rented ''TheLegendOfZelda: Ocarina of Time'' a couple times, was a Zelda fanboy who thought Hyrule was real and existed in a parallel universe. * [[@/{{Starscream}} I]] still (and always will) believe that my favorite "fictional" universes exist somewhere...they're just waiting to be discovered. I do ''not'', however, fit into any of the subcategories in the main page; it's just a general thing. ** Are you me?

** Or me, though they exist in the multiverse, and it goes for any sort of work, be it books, movies, TV shows, or video games. How they remain existing with plot holes (see: Data using contractions in early episodes of StarTrekTheNextGeneration), I don't have a clue. *** Maybe the screenwriters/authors whatever are people who can "see" into alternate universes without realizing it, but they don't always see things properly or they get it wrong while writing it down, or change it because they think it makes a better story, thus introducing plot holes. Yes, I've entertained the "alternate universes" viewpoint too. Also it's 1 am. ** [[@/ThomasCastle This troper]] is of a similar mindset. He believes that every piece of fiction ever invented resides in its own little alternate universe somewhere, of which the creator of the universe is its personal god. It helps with empathizing with his characters when he does some horrible new torture to them. He also believes that this universe is a similar fictional universe. ** [[@/MonSolo This troper]] is relieved that she is not the only one who believes this. She also firmly believes that StarTrek is set in a universe that appears to be nearly identical to our own, except that the laws of physics are less important than those of NarrativeCausality. ** It's nice to see that I'm not the only one who believes this. Just imagine: [[AllMythsAreTrue somewhere out there]], [[TheSandman there's a king of all that is fictional, watching both over that which doesn't exist and that which does]]. Somewhere, [[UminekoNoNakuKoroNi there's a witch clad in gold, held in the eternal embrace of her loved one]]. [[TheDCU Somewhere, sometime]], [[GreenLantern a brash, fearless man is chosen to be part of a force that protects the entire universe]], and another [[TheFlash with a reputation of being late to everything becomes the fastest man alive]]. Somewhere out there, [[{{Multiverse}} many worlds exist]], [[{{Planescape}} connected by]] [[ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve beliefs and thoughts]]. I believe in this sort of thing because it ''can't'' be true. Does that make any sense? * [[@/SapphireFlame This troper]] maintains that fictional characters are "real" in a memetic sense. That is, they exist inside the mind of anyone who reads/watches them. Therefore, theoretically, someone who manages to get into the mindset of the character and walks, talks, and acts like them has effectively made the character "real", albeit in the body of someone who's a little too obsessed with said character. So, if you tried to act, talk, and think ''just like'', say, [[TwentyFour Jack Bauer]], you have effectively "become" him and brought the character into the real world. Soulbonding doesn't sound ''quite'' so crazy now, does it? ** So a character actor is pretty much a professional soulbonder? *** And every time they stop acting, the character goes back to their world? *** Well, only someone who was truly a lunatic could perfectly emulate a fictional character, and there's no "world" for the character to go back to. They're just that: an idea. It's really more of a thought experiment. **** Its impossible to emulate anyone real or fictional perfectly, regardless of sanity.

***** I suppose even with AlternateCharacterInterpretation, probably. ** [[@/{{Skritz}} I]] suppose that as long as someone remember the character, it technically exist. ** [[@/{{Dukia}} This troper]] can attest to that. She is a [[DracoInLeatherPants former fangirl]] of [[{{Squick}} Spandam]] from ''OnePiece''. At some point during her one and a half years of Spangirlism, the character almost became "real" to her: that is, she started thinking of, and nicknamed, [[ShadowArchetype her own evil side]] as "Spandam." However, she is (and was) fully aware that the character isn't real: this mental "Spandam" is just symbolic (and exaggeratedly so) of how she tends to treat others when angry, annoyed, or otherwise under a lot of stress. * [[@/{{Lurkerbunny}} This troper]], despite her other eccentricities, usually doesn't do this sort of thing. And yet every time she sees a headline about a supposed UFO spotting, she frantically clicks the article wondering "Was it [[MorkAndMindy shaped like an egg]]? Did anyone come out of it? Did he look like a young RobinWilliams?". * @/{{Griffin}}, when she was younger, used to make imaginary friends/adopted children out of fictional characters. Her little sister joined in the fun. [[spoiler:They even had this sort of weird imaginary alternate shapeshifting thing where they were two eagles who were mates, except when they transformed back to humans. Naturally, now they look back at that and go o_0.]] (Censored for {{Squick}}) * To this day, this troper (''even though she's sixteen'') finds herself believing in the NightsIntoDreams Nightmaren (Reala, Jackle, etc.) and that they actually cause you to have good or bad dreams. That's why she leaves several pennies under her pillow for Jackle so he won't give her any more bad dreams...(It works! Seriously!) ** Well, of course. Since dreams are mentally generated, it stands to reason that if you believe something works, it will. * For some reason, I believe that there exists an alternate universe where ''we'' are fiction, complete with normal everyday lives, and DieForOurShip movements, I even think that in another universe, I'm paired up with a relatively insane girl while another friend is turned into an ass, but when he's paired up with the insane girl, I turn into an evil mastermind conspiring to rape her, and don't get me started on the frickin' yaoi. * This troper spent much of her childhood earnestly believing one could turn into a Furby. Later, earnestly wanting to believe the events of the ArtemisFowl books were nothing but sober truth. (It helped that I had just been put through all the confusing and upsetting stuff that goes with being labeled a "gifted child", and my only real role model for what the optimal intelligent child would be like happened to be a twelve-year-old evil genius.) At the moment, I'm perfectly happy to call upon [[ShamanKing Faust VIII]] when getting shots, or [[{{Gankutsuou}} Franz D'Epinay]] when called upon to make a dramatic sacrifice, but I don't actually ''believe'' in them. * When [[@/GwenStacyWannabe I]] was a child, I did not create imaginary friends...I ''stole'' them from movies and books! I distinctly remember playing "catch" in the backyard with [[TheLionKing Shenzi]], and really believing that [[ToyStory toys came to life]] and...I can only imagine what the neighbors thought. More recently, I

read a fanfic proposing that centuries later, the descendants of [[AvatarTheLastAirbender benders]] still exist, and I have kind of adopted this theory simply because it fascinates me. ** Now this sounds familiar!... though for me it wasn't TheLionKing but rather the characters from [[FurryFandom Disney's Robin Hood]]. * I worry sometimes that being a DaydreamBeliever as a kid (and still a daydream believer at heart) is why I'm so cynical these days. * This Troper [[DaydreamBeliever DaydreamBelieves]] too. Believes in the [[ tenth dimension]]version of it. That is: if infinite possibilities exist, then everything must exist somewhere. Actually, going by that I believe in the ''[[UpToEleven eleventh]] dimension'' which, I will be the first to admit, is pure bullshit I made up when bored. When the tenth dimension is every possibility ever, the only logical step to go further is to imagine '''im'''possibilities. Which is, of course, impossible. Told you it was bullshit. :D * This troper (Ettina), from around 7-10 years old, insisted that the {{Animorphs}} series was true and we were really being secretly invaded by mind-controlling aliens. I even accused some of the nastier people I knew of being Controllers. * This troper is still waiting for a letter from Hogwarts. They're... They're just a little late, s'all... * You watch, this troper will be sailing the stars in a [[Series/DoctorWho TARDIS]] in no time! Still waiting for her Hogwarts letter, and to be taken away to Neverland to fight pirates with Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. Sixteen is not too old. Sixteen is not too old. Sixteen is not too old. * As a child this troper wanted to become a KnightInShiningArmour, Then a SuperHero, Thena journalist because that's what superheroes were in their secret [=IDs=]. It took me quite a while to realize I might need to settle for writing about these kinds of people. Still wonder whether I'd make a good espionage agent though. * This troper considers works of fiction as their own little universes with various departures from our reality. He like to abuse this hypothesis by attempting to combine different works into their own universe. ** For example, Highlander proves that Sean Connery movies are a single continuity. This means that Ramirez has been, variously, a British secret agent, a Russian sub captain, Robin Hood, and various other roles while trying to disguise his true identity as an immortal. * Somewhere between 10 and 11 years old [[@/{{Falconfly}} this troper]] believed the dragons from {{Dragonology}} were real and that every single fucking thing in that book was real science. Then came DragonsAFantasyMadeReal, only to make things worse. * Until he was 10, troper Charlie Brown thought that COLOR was a human invention or discovery between the 40's and 50's, and that it integrated into society in a Pleasantville-like fashion. For perspective, he was 22 when Pleasantville was in theaters. * This troper likes to believe that the worlds from books, movies, and anime are real in alternate worlds. Authors and writers are simply gifted at seeing into these other worlds subconsciously and drawing inspiration from them to write stories for our own world.

* This troper, when he was a kid, would hold up a toy digivice to his computer daily. ** I did the same, but mine wasn't a toy. It just...came in the same packaging as the toys...yeah. * This troper recalls seeing someone like this on the [[{{Neopets}} Neoboards]] (that reviled spawning ground for nooblets), where someone was spamming Kingdom Hearts roleplaying threads. Either he was a troll, or he honestly believed that he was in a sexual relationship with Roxas. Probably a troll, though. * I still look up at the sky almost every day expecting to see [[CastleInTheSky Laputa]]. * For years, this troper believed that her {{Neopets}} would just jump out of the computer and live in the real world with her. Still hasn't happened yet... * [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] believed in the existence of a AlternateUniverse his sister came up with at a slumber party with their oldest cousin ages ago. In this alternate universe, everyone is [[GenderBender gender-swapped]] and is also a form of royalty (Therefore, this male troper was [[EverythingsBetterWithPrincesses a princess]] in that alternate universe). I still would like to [[Series/DoctorWho fall through a crack in time & space while traveling in the TARDIS]], meet the female version of myself, and [[ScrewYourself do her]]. ** Seconded! When I run into the alternate-universe guy version of myself, no one's going to see either of us for days. (And then we're going to do TwelfthNight.) * [[@/TheTallOne I]] believe in the theory of a multiverse where every reality you can think of exists somewhere, in a parallel universe. I'm a DaydreamBeliever by default in that case. Also it's extremely comforting on really bad days to think that somewhere you are fighting dinosaurs with Luke Skywalker and Link. * I used to believe in fairies, mermaids and ghosts...then, I became a b**ch and life got slightly different... * Ever since [[@/MightyKombat I]] played TheLegendOfZeldaMajorasMask, I just can't trust that moon anymore. And I keep thinking that [[{{Castlevania}} One of the Belmonts]] is hiding in my college. * This troper became convinced, in her freshman year of college, that she and her friends were living in a DianaWynneJones novel. Since then, she's never been sure if she's in a harem manga, a P.G. Wodehouse story, a D&D campaign, or some kind of weird softcore hentai. Her current theory is that she lives in a fanfiction of her own life, which keeps changing authors, genres, [=AUs=], and shipping preferences. (Also, her brother's car is totally a TARDIS. It's blue and can fit implausible amounts of stuff inside and bad plans happen in it. What?) * At the age of ten, this troper was halfway convinced that she would wake up on her sixteenth birthday floating above her bed (a la ''SabrinaTheTeenageWitch'')...and was mildly disappointed when it didn't happen (six years later). She also gathered her favorite toys in front of the TV to watch Toy Story 2 because she still believed there was a possibility that the toys were alive. She was in high school at the time.

* This troper's still not ''entirely'' convinced she'll never be able to go back in time to attend certain events and meet certain people. [[WideEyedIdealist It's just... unfair, otherwise.]] * This troper likes to ponder the possibilities shown in TheMelancholyOfHaruhiSuzumiya; namely that there could be a person out there, that you might even know, who has power over the entire universe... and they don't even know it. Heck, it might even be ''you!'' * This troper has maintained that there is something called the "Tree of Reality", wherein every reality "B" there exists a parent node to a higher reality "A" where reality "B" is a work of fiction. Within reality "A", every work of fiction branches into a child node on sibling level of reality "B", but unknown by the citizens of reality "B". They can be crossed over, but in so far as the author of "B" wills his work to merge with a sibling node. Further more, anyone in reality "B" can create a child node reality "C" where C is a work of fiction within the work of fiction of "B". This tree expands in a child direction ad infinitum and in a parent direction until either ad infinitum OR "God" is achieved. ** So, [[{{Anathem}} a Directed Acyclic Graph, Wick version?]] * This Troper collected all the rings from the BlackestNight books and still likes to pretend that one day, aliens will induct him into the GreenLantern corps. I used to think that my toys were alive ala ToyStory, and would talk about me while I was gone. I also once dreamed that I was reading a forum discussion about my own life, and people were [[{{Shipping}} shipping]] me with my friends. Oh, and apparently, my then-girlfriend at the time was TheScrappy of the show. [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife I really need to stop browsing TV tropes before I go to bed...]] * In [[@/{{ladygem}} this troper's]] Senior year of high school she had to do a project where she planned out and budgeted her life 14 years in advance (ten years from finnishing undergrad) When it got to the part where we described our husband and kids, we were encoraged to marry whoever we wanted,including celebrity crushes, as we had to support our kids by ourselves anyway. My husband ended up being an alternate universe version of DavidTennant who was fifteen years younger, (so the age difference wasn't as [[{{Squick}} squicky]]) and was a scientist instead of an actor. After finding out that a friend of mine married a character from her favorite TV show, I spent the rest of the period daydreaming about what it would be like to marry [[Series/DoctorWho the Doctor]] * If infinite alternate realities exist, then there is a reality where [[Series/DoctorWho Doctor Who]] is real. And that show has already shown that travel between dimensions is possible. Which means that if the {{Whoniverse}} exists, it's completely possible for Cybermen to invade our dimension. And remember, [[{{NightmareFuel}} Count the Shadows]] ** And don't forget [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel not to blink...]] ** look behind you. (Damn you Moffat!) ** Are you me? *** Thanks for that, guys. I'm never sleeping again! O_O * As a young Pre-Troper, I believed I was the [[MarySue omnipotent

supporting character]] in a story I wrote. [[IGotBetter (I got better.)]] * This troper has semi-genuine fear of a robot apocalypse a la {{Terminator}}.. but that's because she attends a school with a prominent robotics program, in which many of the students have expressed their delight in creating robots that may one day kill us all. Adding insult to possible injury, it's a prominent university for research, and has good ties with other colleges quite capable of adding fuel to the fire, meaning that if anyone is going to get it done, it's going to be these students and their future colleagues. Seriously, if it ever happens, guys, this troper will know exactly who to blame. * I think I'm a daydream believer, because reading a few discussion threads in various fandoms has convinced me that [[TheBigBangTheory Sheldon Cooper]] is real and ''very'' active on the Internet. * [[Tropers/SukiSelfDestruct I]] believe that: ** I was indeed invited to Hogwarts. The owl drowned in the ocean on its way over ** I am a Chameleon Arched [[Series/DoctorWho Time Lord]]. Who may or may not be the Master. ** I opened a rift in time and space by dividing by zero on my calculator one day and that soon I'll see the TARDIS materialize outside my school so the Doctor can fix it... ** That when I write, I'm either drawing from another universe (and when I hit Writers' Block, it's because I've caught up in real time to the events of the universe) or that I'm creating a new universe from the story * This troper took part in a philosophy group last year. She was introduced to [[MindScrew the dream argument]]. Ever since then, a little part of her has been thinking that she is dreaming, and fictional worlds are simply glimpses into her REAL life. This is the first time she has mentioned this. Mostly because nobody here can take me to a psychiatric ward... [[ParanoiaFuel I hope...]] * I know most of my friends so well that I can hold lengthy conversations with them in my head during class. This leads to confusion when I tell them what I'm thinking in my head, then later say "Hey, remember when I told you about X?" much to their bemusement. * This troper's dad always sets off the metal detectors at airports. I am sort-of convinced that he is a {{Terminator}}. * I can give a little benefit of the doubt to some of these things. When it comes to having the soul of an animal or some such... consider that you leave observable, provable reality behind the moment you say “soul,” even though people who believe in those are not considered mad. Consider that many mainstream religions believe in reincarnation, and even some of the ones that don’t don’t prohibit the idea. I don’t see how, if the real you is this invisible floaty thing that lit on your body when it became available and something of its past incarnations sticks around, it having once been in a non-human body and leaving something behind is *that much crazier* than what I’m already having to just take on faith. ** And then, soulbonds. To a point. I don’t believe SpiderMan is real - even if we go with the LiteraryAgentHypothesis, anyone who goes to

*this* site knows there are [[ExecutiveMeddling many]] [[RealLifeWritesThePlot outside]] [[CreatorBreakdown factors]] that result in the author’s original vision and what finally makes it to screen or page differ. BUT... consider people with multiple personalities. (I won’t go into details that will make who I’m talking about obvious. I’ll just say that I have more than one friend who is real enough for me to respect and care for, even if the DSM calls them a symptom of someone else’s disease.) It’s been demonstrated that each personality has a different brain wave pattern, and many of them will tell you that the popular perception of such - childhood sexual abuse = “shattering” = chunks of broken person each with a different “job” based around coping - isn’t the only way it works. (Yes, I’m getting at something!) Now... how many writers talk about their characters “talking” to them? Starting small, but the more you work with them, the more realistic, more automatic, the more able to deal with the reality around you? Could such a person become self-aware in its own right? Again, if you believe in anything like a soul, most of what makes *you* a real person is taken on faith. Most religions don’t state outright that two can’t be in one body. If you don’t, the question becomes “Is the human brain {{Badass}} enough to develop *another* of whatever makes you ‘you?’” In other words, a functional person who seems as real as any of us to both themselves and an observer who didn’t know, who started as one’s idea of a character but grew (because the brain can do that and you don’t know souls can’t) into someone who remembers being Captain Kirk but realizes this world calls his world a movie, and can drive and play DDR and do taxes and everything a normal person can... it can happen and nothing says they’d have to be less “real” a person as you or me. But I put "soulbond" in quotes because I don't necessarily believe the most common idea of how it works (the soul of Peter Parker came from the MarvelUniverse and bonded with you). ** TL;DR: The gods don’t say you definitely weren’t a spotted owl in your past life or couldn’t possibly have *some* connection to them that causes what you perceive, whatever its nature may be. It’s no weirder than things *many* of us believe in but can’t demonstrate. And though multiple humans with multiple motivations made your favorite character’s history, nothing we know makes it clear a “soulbond” of him can’t be a real person. I have no solid reason not to accept that much, once given reason to really ponder it. * [[{{@/Tidal_Wave_17}} This troper]] swings between this and LongingForFictionLand. He also believes that TvTropes could be, if used right, a portal into a universe where every kind of media in the world, from novels to cartoons to television shows are all real and exist together. After all, life is just one big story, right? * This troper, when on vacation to the UK, saw a police box. Just one (from the bus, unfortunately). Since then, she's been on the lookout in case the Doctor happens to drop by. * [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} This Troper]] may not be an actual Daydream Believer, but she is a therian (see the Otherkin part of the main page). She doesn't attribute it to multiple worlds or reincarnation; rather, it's psychological/an identity thing, rather akin to being transgendered.

* Tropers/{{Mort08}} wants to go to [[{{Film/HowToTrainYourDragon}} Berk.]] ''Really'' wants to. She ''knows'' there is a way. * This troper has caught himself seriously speculating if [[{{Touhou}} Gensokyo]] was real and that all we need to do is to pass through a dimension to get there. He has also caught himself speculating if he could go to Gensokyo as his personal afterlife. * There is a girl at this troper's school who is like this. I try to be nice to her, because it seems like everyone thinks she's crazy. Which probably isn't far off, but she really is a sweet person. * [[Tropers/{{ladygem}} I]] firmly believe the Doctor is real. And I will be his companion someday. So what if I'm American? So was Canton, and Captain Jack at least sounded American! * I fancy the thought of being reincarnated into my own fictional universe in my next life. Also, a couple of my characters have become imaginary friends. I'm convinced that they are real and separate from my consciousness. One is a wise counselor, who successfully helped me on more than a few occasions. * This troper's actually an otakukin hirself. If there's any others here from the worlds of Kenshin, Zelda, or HisDarkMaterials, I'd love to meet you! * This troper is a dragon otherkin, and the weirdest part is, she can actually feel wings! * To this Troper, there are Stargates currently in use, and SGC is just keeping it secret. Soon the public will find out about the Stargates and adopt them itno everyday life. The we will segue into the Firefly 'verse in the future! * This troper once encountered an ''{{Animorphs}}'' fansite seemingly occupied entirely by Daydream Believers. It was a long time ago, but this troper does recall one thread where a person claimed that they wanted to give themselves up to the [[TheVirus Yeerks]], and a number of people responded with heartfelt "don't do it!" posts. ** It's either the same one, or there's more of these, this Troper also remembered a few people who are convinced it was all real, and were seriously planning various anti-Yeerk devices and means to communicate with Andalites. * I'm not a straight example (though I was when I was younger, heh), but I've found that through meditation and concentration, I can create various sensations that allow me to experience things like flying, having wings, having a fifth arm, et cetera. (And before you ask, yes, there's some PowerPerversionPotential there. And that's all I've got to say about that.) * I'm very logical, not at all superstitious, and stick to my religious convictions. However, I always cringe a little when I hear a little kid say [[PeterPan they don't believe in fairies.]] A Tinker Bell-loving friend and me once beat up a third friend for saying that he didn't believe in fairies, because ''"You just killed a fairy!"'' * This troper spent the entire fifth grade believing that his mother was a Yeerk and that the events in the Animorphs series were actually unfolding. Feels good to finally admit that. ---Go back to DaydreamBeliever... everything that page describes is real in a parallel universe!

DaylightHorror * The scariest moment in this troper's life happened in broad daylight. He had just gotten his license and was driving down a country road late one afternoon. He thought it was a nice day for a drive and took his car out. Eventually, he saw a weird old lady riding her bike too close to the road (she was a strange local). This troper, being an inexperienced driver at the time, moved to the side as much as possible while stupidly looking out his passenger window to make sure the weird old lady was safe; he was supposed to checking the rearview mirror and keeping his eyes on the road better. He ended up going straight into a ten foot ditch and in his panic, slammed on the accelerator, ramping his car over a mound in the middle of said ditch, sending it into the air, barely missing a telephone pole. He hit the brakes and looked up, noticing that if his car had continued going forward, it would've hit an oil rig in the field. Oh, and the weird old lady kept riding her bike and didn't seem all that concerned to see if this troper was all right... or at least apologize for riding too close to the road. ---[[DaylightHorror My God... What's that lurking in the daylight?]]

DeadBabyComedy * I really dig 9/11 jokes. But i think it's mostly because i don't give a fuck. * I remember an instance this past 9/11 when someone posted a facebook status that was a text image of a plane flying towards two black rectangles. Another person came in and started deriding the poster for disrespect (I agreed with him, it was disrespectful). The poster basically said, "This is no worse than your dead-baby comedy!" And suddely the derider said, "That's hypothetical. Meanwhile, you're shitting on 3,000 graves." Even Evil Has Standards. * Whilst discussing our various origins from different countries, this troper's very Israeli and Jewish friend mentioned that she believes she comes from all of the countries in Europe, except maybe ''Germany''. This troper burst out laughing. She said something along the lines of "That's so darkly funny....I'm sorry.... that's just awful....I mean... you get it?....". This troper's friend responded "I got it". And this troper continued "You see why that's so sad... man, that's funny in a darkly ironic way...". This troper's friend then continued with "I might not be from ''Austria'', either". She was serious. [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity ensued.]] * When we play DungeonsAndDragons (4E), a common way of incapacitating an an opponent is to use the Wizard's utility power: Illusionary Wall (we use some creative rules interpretation to get a lot of use out of it). We joke about calling it "the quiet room". And then we talk about using Phantasmal Horror (we're too low level to actually use it in game), a spell that involves attacking the creature's psyche using its

nightmares, calling it "Uncle Billy", a generic name for a [[RapeAsComedy pedophillic relative]]. We often state how [[YouBastard we're horrible people]]. * This troper's usage of literal dead baby jokes (more accurately, the euphenism "punch a baby" for expressing frustration) is the primary reason his first girlfriend dumped him, funnily enough. Especially odd considering this girl spent her days giggling at /b/. Hm. ** Many of my friends make dead baby jokes such as "If we get this right, maybe I won't kill a baby," or "Peanut butter is baby toes." * This troper has started making them about ghosts and mummies in ''TheLegendOfZeldaTheMinishCap'', because of their...profoundly disturbing attacks. ("Look out, Link! Dead paedophile!") * This troper often makes quips about turning aborted fetuses into oatmeal...yet he still hates 911 jokes. * I ''really'' shouldn't have laughed at this line in the Main/LilWayne page, but... -->NearDeathExperience: Accidentally shot himself when he was twelve. * [[@/ARandomSerf This troper]] spent most of seminar last year finding ways to connect dead babies to the current discussion. -->'''Friend:''' All he did was make dead baby jokes. -->'''Me:''' I did not make dead baby jokes! [[NoExceptYes I made dead baby relevant points!]] * Lately, this troper can't seem to stop thinking about wildly inappropriate songs to [[TheFunInFuneral play at a funeral]]. The songs listed on the ClusterFBomb trope are some definite winners! * An classmate of this troper's spent a lunch period and the following class period stringing dead baby jokes together. Most of them didn't make sense, but the ones that did were awful. One went something like, "How many dead babies does it take to stop a car?" "As many as it takes to make a speed bump!" It was very disturbing. * As my humor primarily consists of this and pretending to be either a [[CloudcuckooLander CloudcuckooLander]] or [[AxCrazy Ax Crazy]] I make a lot of this sort of jokes. One that I keep coming back too is the following practical joke. Assume that I die over +40 years of natural causes and that mp3 player, GPS and battery technology have sufficiently miniaturized. In that case, I would swallow a mini GPS connected to an mini mp3 player just before I die. The GPS would activate the mp3 player when my body reaches my grave. For the moment I'm in favor of 'Join me in Death' of HIM (at volume [[UpToEleven UpToEleven]] off course) (suggestions for other songs are welcome). * I work in retail and become good friends with one of the guys who works in the men's apparel apartment; we just have a lot in common. Apparently, that includes humor, because one of the section manager, who was pregnant at the time, was being rather rude to him (well more so than usual; the workers have a very dysfunctional relationship with the current management staff...). He (only jokingly) confided in me that he wanted to "Punch her so hard in the stomach that she gave birth on the spot! Just punch the baby out of her!" [[LampshadeHanging I said that was the most awful thing he ever said to me, ever]] and laughed along with him for about two minutes straight. * This tropers umm… ''friend'', pull a literal example when we were talking about what we would wear to a 'bad taste party'. while the

hostess had intended for a poor taste in ''[[OutdatedOutfit fashion]]'', said friend said it would be funny if she spatted red paint on her thighs, stuck a doll between her legs and go as a [[DudeNotFunny later term abortion]]. I admit that i found the idea funny as hell until [[ItGotWorse she went and actually did it.]] ** My God...I think I'm in love. * This troper was watching a documentary at school about polar bears, and the narrator said, in the most absurdly melodramatic voice ''ever'' "By the end of the year, over half of all of the cubs will perish." cue uncontrollable laughter from almost everyone in the room. * This troper has a friend who used to make dead baby jokes. It was rather annoying, because he had some strange (and seemingly arbitrary) means of determining what you could make jokes about. Dead babies, abortions, genocide, rape, murder, etc. were all fine. Jokes about 9/11, pedophillia and quasi-racist topics (only racist against black people, though) were, for some reason, horrendously wrong. He claimed EvenEvilHasStandards, but it came across more as hypocritical. * This troper had a friend in high school who was told she wouldn't live past forty. I couldn't help but think of jokes involving her having her mid life crisis. * This troper's favourite brand of humour. He has a friend who's that way too. Needless to say, conversations between us two tend to sound offensive. * This troper knew a girl in school, who was a mother of a kid, who regularily made that sort of jokes. * This troper makes these jokes all the time, thanks to my being sociopathic (I don't feel guilt), being the OnlySaneMan who points out the ridiculousness of so many CloudCuckooLander moments, and being a DeadpanSnarker. But, seriously, this is all subjective. I mean, I snicker when parents talk about how sad they are their kids did drugs, and want to save us all from the evils of drugs. Why? Basically, because I'm thinking to myself "Yeah, I'd be sad too if I learned my kid was stupid enough to willingly inject and eventually kill himself with what is basically poison.". Yes, yes, I'm evil, I'm going to hell[[hottip:*:Yeah, like ''that'' exists]], I know. But don't worry, [[NotSoDifferent I'll save you a seat!]] And a joke I made, before I go: -->What gets louder, as it gets smaller? -->[[spoiler:A kitten in a trash compactor!(Yes, I '''hate''' cats.)]] ** At least it wasn't a baby. *** [[ChildHater Too bad]] it wasn't a baby. * One of this Tropette's friends has an entire stand-up act where he goes out [[MonsterClown dressed as a clown]] and [[CrossesTheLineTwice tells horribly tasteless and offensive jokes involving anything from rape to torture to Aristocrat-Style stories]]. [[TheSameButMore The more offensive]], [[UpToEleven the better]]. Only people who get the over the top Gallows humor behind it think it's all that funny. * This troper loves this comedy, so much so I surprise myself. Like the time I drew a character running over orphans...who it made orphans of in the first place. It just came back to finish the job. * Posted by a friend of mine at a private forum, regarding the nuclear meltdowns in Japan:

-->Fortunately, we've helped the Japanese develop a tolerance for radiation. ** Let us not stop there -->Guy1 - My Japanese girlfriend dumped me. -->Guy2 - [[spoiler:Don't worry, there are plenty more in the sea.]] * This Troper's school was performing ByeByeBirdie, during a rehearsal, this exchange occurred: -->Girl playing Kim: It's too late for cookies, Miss Alvarez! -->Me: It's never too late for milk and cookies... unless, of course you have diabetes. ** There was also this reaction to a skit I was a part of for my theatre class. Said skit involved a main character getting hit by a train. -->Girl in class: I can't believe you left her to die. -->Me: It was actually a plot to kill her. -->Other student: Really? -->Me: No, it just sounds like something I would do.

DeaderThanDisco * At my local library, we have a stuffed BugsBunny toy and a number of kids don't recognize him and call him simply "a bunny." Likely due to shows such as ''LooneyTunes'' no longer airing regularly on major networks. * A friend once told me that when he worked as a lifeguard at a local pool around 2003 or 2004, he taught swimming lessons, and when he and the other lifeguards/swimming teachers tried to get the kids to stick out their arms with their kickboards, they would say, "Show me your {{Superman}}." The kids had no idea what this meant since the last major ''{{Superman}}'' film was made in 1987, probably over a decade before they were born, and they were still too young to have seen [[SupermanTheAnimatedSeries the animated series]] or the ''JusticeLeague'' cartoon.

DeadGuyJunior * Surely this can't be that uncommon. This Troper's mother was named after his grandmother (as was one of her sisters, actually.), this Troper has three brothers named after Grandparents, this Troper himself has got a middle name off of his father (Though he still lives). * This troper is a fifth-generation Katherine; there are three of us still alive as of this writing. Also, her father is a third and her sister is named for the other grandmother. (This troper suspects her family might not be all that creative when it comes to naming kids.) * This Troper shares her name with both her grandmothers (one was dead before she was born, the other's still alive) and one of her grandfathers (died before she was born too) had a very similar name to hers. * This Troper's family names children after ''both'' grandparents of the same gender - one as the first name, one as the middle name. It alternates between children as to whether the first name comes from

the maternal or paternal grandparents. * This Troper knew a boy named "Edward... the eighth". Yes, in his family, EVERYONE named their son Edward. He even had an heirloom with all the Edwards' dates of birth and death written on them. * This troper's middle name is that of her late grandmother. * According to This Troper's mother, it's a Jewish tradition. * Mercifully averted with this troper's husband, who was born three days after his maternal grandfather died. His mother shot down the suggestion by pointing out her father ''hated'' the name "Ferdinand," so why would she want to saddle her child with it? * This tropers father was named after his uncle, who had died very young shortly before his birth. Said troper is also named after his father, but the later is thankfully still very much alive. * Every female in this tropers family has the middle name Louise but nobody seems to remember who the first one was. * This troper was named after a favorite uncle of his father's who commited suicide via plugging himself in the head ([[QuestionableContent No, he didn't leave a note]], in case you were wondering), who was always refered to as Uncle. And now this troper's sister has had a daughter... so again 'Uncle Paul' has come into existance. No worries on history repeating, this troper isn't that type of person :D * A variant: [[Tropers/{{animenutcase}} This troper]] has the same ''middle'' name as her late sister. Strangely, I once had a classmate guess what it was before I even dropped a hint. [[supersecretspoiler:It's Marie, if you must know.]] ** Averted by my brother, who is named after our still-living father. * Nobody involved is dead, but this troper has his father's first initial and last name. Troper's brother has their grandfather's first initial and last name. The troper isn't sure about the other brother, but he's probably named for a more distant relative. * This Troper's paternal great-grandfather died about a month before she was born, and her grandmother suggested several feminine variations on his name for her. Dad had already promised to name his first son after his grandfather, though, so Troper was named by her mother instead. Flash forward to the birth of Troper's younger brother, and now, since our maternal grandfather was very sick (he died shortly after), Mom slipped him in as a middle name. I... should not be laughing at the Main/HarryPotter examples, should I? * @/SacredSturgeon's [[JerkAss older]] [[ItsAllAboutMe brother]] inherited his name from his grandfather. My dad inherited his name from his grandfather. His dad's dad inherited his name from his grandfather. His dad inherited his name from his grandfather. Those of you gifted in the art of pattern recognition can probably guess who his father was named after. Meanwhile I got my name from an uncle who probably also had it passed down to him from just a tad too many generations. I come from a depressingly uncreative family. * This Troper knows for a fact that she would BE this trope if she had not been born female. Her parents did inform her her name would have been her grandfather's. Considering it now, she rather prefers her girl name to her guy name. ** That would have been this Troper's case too; her little brother

ended up using the name instead. Had he been a girl, though, he would have been named after our grandmother. * In one of this troper's works in progress, two childhood friends who wind up [[HappilyMarried married]] in the [[DistantFinale epilogue]] name their daughter after a mutual (male) friend who died to protect the mother. It helps that the friend had a gender-neutral name (Hikaru). * This Troper's first name is that of a friend of her mother who died in a car accident in her youth. Her mother didn't want to tell the story till she was 22. This Troper has three more names of relatives but they were all alive during her naming. * This troper's name is the feminine version of her great-grandpa's name. We even share a birthday. * @/{{Kathadrion}}'s first name was her paternal grandmother's middle name. She was still alive when I was born, though. And I'm the fourth generation on my mother's side with the middle name Ingalill. Three of us are still alive. Oh, and my maternal grandmother named her cats after her maternal grandparents, and then my mother went and named her cats after ''her'' maternal grandparents, and I'm sorry, but that's a tradition I won't be following! * This troper's father was named after his older half brother who died in the holocaust as a baby (he has changed his name however as he preferred the hebrew version to the polish one). This troper's older brother's middle name was in honor of said father's father. This troper is undecided at the moment on whether or not he will name his own son, should he ever have one, after his own brother, a subject he thinks about often despite having no intentions of having children for at least several years. * Fairly common in this troper's family. And complicated, she now realizes. First off, for a couple generations every first son of the first son was named Harold, although her cousin broke it years ago, and her mother was named for her aunt, who died the day before she was born. She herself has her grandmother's name as her middle name, both her siblings middle names are the maiden names of our two grandmothers, her brother is named for their great-grandfather and her sister is named for their great aunt. * This troper possibly subverts this, in that her parents didn't know they were naming her after her great grandmother until her father nervously approached her grandmother about it (it's tradition in her family to be named after a dead relative) and was surprised that the nickname he'd been calling his grandma all his life wasn't her real name. ** She also knew a girl who had been named for both her grandmothers, by combining their names. * This troper's girlfriend is named after her mother's dead twin sister. Not in the usual way, mind, but in that ''her initials spell out the dead twin's name''. She has a ''stupid'' number of middle names. * My grandmother was named Kathleen because she looked very similar to her late older sister Katherine as a baby. Now Kathleen has traveled down the family (I'm one) so are we all Dead Guy Juniors? * This troper's (now deceased) grandfather's twin brother (who is also

deceased) shared the same name as me: William. Anyone who has read the "Just William" books will be able to work out why I want to change my name...[[spoiler: for the confused, the title character is called "William Brown". I know it is great when you are five, but when you are seventeen, it is really embarrasing. I just hope it was coincidence...]] * This troper's parents had an elderly friend who lived across the street from them in their first house. The old man, named Martin, died when I was about 3. Three years after that, my brother came along and was named first for our deceased neighbor, secondly for our dad. This troper also has a teddy bear, given to him by the elderly neighbor Martin. The bear's name is the same as my brother's. ~ferlessleedr * This troperette's middle name is Ruth, after her great-grandmother (her father's grandmother), although she was still alive when the troper was born. * When this troper and her twin sister were three years old and our mother was crying because her Aunt Mildred died, we named a teddy bear Aunt Mildred and gave it to her to make her feel better. Also, we were given slightly modified and feminized versions of our greatgrandfather's and grandfather's names. * According to this troper's [[ShroudedInMyth family lore]] his sister shares her first name with our mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, great-great-grandmother, great-great-great-grandmother, great-greatgreat-great-grandmother, and great-great-great-great-greatgrandmother. Curiously, it's always the youngest girl in each family that was given the name. * This Troper shares her middle name with her deceased Grandfather,making this a gender-bent example. Her male cousin also shares his first name with our Grandfather, but he (like Papa) goes by his middle name. * My mother was named after her great-great-grandmother. ---And that's the story of how you became known as DeadGuyJunior. ----

DeadpanSnarker %% %% Before you add, remember that this TroperTales page is, contrary to popular belief, NOT for Jerkass. %% Anyone who brags about being witty on the internet cares way too much about what other people think of them to be a true deadpan snarker. ---ATTENTION, {{TROPER}}S! This is a very important notice. Please read it before you add an entry to this page. Now, I know you all want to add that time you made everyone laugh at your school, or whatever. That's perfectly understandable. But, I urge you to reconsider. Please remember that, no matter how funny it is in context, almost anything that was funny or witty when spoken loses something when converted to text. That's why many of the examples on this page seem a tad

underwhelming. They were probably quite amusing in person(some of them, anyway), but that tone of voice, that perfect deadpan expression, that all-important ''context'' is not present here. So, if you've been reading these example and thinking "Well, that example was lame. It's nowhere near as funny as the time I *whatever*", then please realize that the only reason you think your example is funny is because you were there. Nobody else has that context, that body language, and so it comes off seeming rather flat. So, think before you edit. Thank you. * No shit? ** '''[[SeriousBusiness No shit.]]''' ** To be fair, it doesn't seem like many people are reading this disclaimer before they post. ** Damn, I was about to add a hilarious story about coprophilia. Oh well, guess I'll have to sate my fetish with the rest of the page. *** Erotophonophile, [[{{Tropers.EPIC}} over here.]] * It helps if you have a pencil or pen in your hand when you snark. Then you can flip it to be even more condescending. Just make sure you catch it. * This troper has always found the highest measure of snark ability to be how well one snarks at oneself. It makes the insults you throw at others so much better received (read: you don't like as much of a Jerkass) if you toss in a healthy does of SelfDeprecation every now and then, not to mention the practice that you get from it. * [[{{Tropers/HG131}} This troper]] is often like this, especially when watching everything. It's annoyed my family countless times when I won't stop snarking at the characters for whatever stupid thing they're doing or saying. ** Are you me? * {{This troper}} was going to post several arrogant paragraphs chronicling every vaguely sarcastic comment she had ever made and then come back later to read all the comments about what an unfunny loser she was, but instead decided to just quickly mention that her mother has banned her from opening her mouth while ''TheXFactor'' is on. * [[Tropers/{{NaomiLawliet}} This troper]] recalls an exchange between herself and her art teacher ---> Art Teacher: You drew that vase wrong! Where can you buy such an ugly vase??!! ---> (Switches to first person)Me: Crate and Barrel! * [[Tropers.ReikoKazama This troper]] can be pretty snarky at times. One example that had almost everyone present in hysterics ''twice'' was at a showing of [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Eclipse]]. During one exchange (I don't remember who it was between), there was a ''blatant'' DoubleEntendre, and so me being the snarker that I am, I go "[[ThatsWhatSheSaid Bow-chicka-]][[HehHehYouSaidX wow-wow!]]" The whole cinema just cracks up. The second time around was when [[spoiler: Victoria is killed]], and as soon as [[spoiler:her head hits the ground]], I go, "[[CaptainObvious Dead.]]" Again, the whole cinema cracks up as I say, "Bye-bye, bitch!". Then when [[spoiler:Edward [[KillItWithFire sets her on fire]] to finish her off]], I put on my best Dan Forden impression for a single word: "[[MortalKombat TOASTY!!]]"

** I can't even tell if this is a joke or not. But I really hope that it is. *** Ahh, you must be the rumored one fan of Literature/{{Twilight}} on [[ThisWiki this entire wiki]]. *** If no-one can tell, then why do I bother? * {{This troper}} isn't a very good one, but he still makes himself feel cool like his favorite {{anime}} character by posting on TVTropes about how much of a witty and highly regarded {{deadpan snarker}} he is, citing situations in which he made a {{cliche}} or vaguely sarcastic remark while remaining completely oblivious to the underwhelmed and unamused reactions of just about everyone that hears his comments. Actual conversation: ** '''Classmate''' (asking a teacher in class): "What's going to be on the test tomorrow?" ** '''Me''' (loudly and very deadpan from my seat in the back of class): "Words" ** '''Everyone in class''': *too stunned by wit to say anything* *** Do I detect a hint of sarcasm in that entry? * {{This troper}} had a {{deadpan snarker}} moment at lunch one day. We were eating when my friend Jeremiah said: ** Jeremiah: "You know I was thinking about something." ** Me: "That's a first." ** (Nearby kids laugh) ** Jeremiah: "Mr. Norman (history teacher) was talking about how the caveman culture was expanding, right? So they had to be having SEX!" ** Me (deadpan): Really? [[ScoobyDoo Jinkies, Scooby, you solved the mystery!]] * All the history teachers in [[ThisTroper this troper's]] school are {{Deadpan Snarker}}s to some degree. Especially when they repeat the other students' horrible grammar in a monotone voice in order to make them look like idiots. * NOTE: Someone went all over this page leaving Snarky comments. They just did it so much they crossed the line from DeadpanSnarker into JerkAss. ** Big surprise there. ** Yup, just saw the comments. I guess that particular {{troper}} didn't understand "snarker" and "asshole". Or, it was someone from one of the many small groups that don't like TVTropes for reasons unknown. *** I don't think anyone else on this page understands it either. ** Yes, how dare they be snarky on the DeadpanSnarker page. ** Snarking at snark? '''HOW CRUEL.''' ** Wow. {{Trolling}}. [[SarcasmMode That's SOOOOO original.]] ** In this case the difference between a snarker an and asshole is whether or not they're snarking on your examples *** PROTIP, people: There's a difference between being a DeadpanSnarker and a complete asshole. Last time I checked, being a sarcastic dick to random people for no reason is NOT Snarker behavior, but JerkAss behavior. For fuck's sake, [[GoodOmens learn, guys.]] * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] friend's dad was at a pawn shop when his dad asked the cashier if they sold furniture. His reply: [[JerkAss No. You might want to try a furniture store.]] * [[Tropers/CabbitGirlEmi This tropette]] knows someone on the

internet who is definitely this {{trope}}. [[ This video]] shows how much of a Snarker he can be (he's the big guy in the fedora). * {{This troper}} was rowing (Crew) with a 8-man boat. We were preparing to start our 2 kilometer piece when I, in bow seat (the most forward seat) realized that about twenty small one man boats (singles) belong to the B-team were in our way. --->'''Me:''' "Hey guys, we should warn the singles to get out of the way." --->'''My buddy Sam:''' "They'll figure it out." * {{This troper}} usually isn't a snarker, unless irritated. And even then, it mostly fails. Actual conversation: --> '''Alice:''' (Trying to convince people she's desirable, because of multiple boyfriends at once) "I'm really hot, hotter than you'll ever be! --> '''Me:''' (Complete deadpan) You're so hot, what little brains you actually have have been fried. Congrats. ** You're too hard on yourself. That was fucking awesome. * ThisTroper left his aunt in stitches from his incredible dry wit on his last visit. His snark varies by the mood he's in, but in general there's always a little snarkiness. * Most {{Troper}}s. ** All {{troper}}s. *** The {{trope}}s themselves. ** This is why SincerityMode came about. * {{This troper}} and a friend both played {{Deadpan Snarker}}s in a World of Darkness game once. It was probably the silliest World of Darkness game ever played. * Everyone WANTS to be a {{deadpan snarker}}. A real {{deadpan snarker}} tries desperately NOT to be one and fails. ** Exactly! {{This troper}} tries not to snark, as it causes him a great deal of problems. He usually manages to keep his snide remarks in an internal monologue, but sometimes it slips out. ** Same with @/{{Cosman246}}, who is criticized for being caustic and sarcastic. ** Same with {{this troper}}. Didn't realize it until very recently, and I am surprised I didn't realize it earlier. ** Same here, too. People don't want to go to movies with me anymore. ** Same here. None of my friends want to sit by me when we go to the cinema. ** Same with {{this troper}}. It doesn't help that when I actually am being snarky it sounds sincere and vice versa. ** {{This troper}} does his best at keeping his remarks at bay, since it's easier to handle moody (well, any, actually) people that way, but it's quite difficult to actually remember not to comment until it's too late. ** FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF Goddammit, how can [[{{EPIC}} I]] be {{Shotacon}} [[CuteShotaroBoy bait]] when I speak my mind so much!? [[YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Screw the tactness, I have wit!]] * It helps if you're making snarky comments about ''events and things'' instead of ''people''. If you can refrain from snarking about

others, then it really helps ''both'' your NiceGuy and DeadpanSnarker reputation. *** '''UPDATE''': [[CheerfulChild Cuteness]]-induced high-pitched childish voices brings down the concealment of sarcasmic volume. [[{{Tropers.EPIC}} This Troper]] ultimately subverted his snark. ** As @/SapphireFlame already explained, my snark level varies with my mood. Good mood = NiceGuy. Bad mood = DeadpanSnarker. *** I wasn't aware that people's style of conversation can occasionally vary with the mood they are in. Thank you for that brilliant psychological insight. *** Thank you @/SapphireFlame, I thought that I'm the only guy with split personality around here. Loonies of all countries, unite! Uh oh, I guess I am in the bad mood right now... ** I do say that most {{troper}}s (and people in {{real life}}) attempting to be this indulge heavily on the snark but forget to add the deadpan. ** Few months ago, I considered OP's remark as a fucking bullshit...but now that I'm trying to be an author, couldn't have been truer. * {{This troper}} will snark at just about anything on TV. ** [[MST3K Joel/Mike]]? Is that you? *** If it is, I want in on your MST group. [[SincerityMode No really. I want in.]] * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] family is composed ''entirely'' of {{deadpan snarker}}s, each and every one of us. The holidays are an absolute riot :D ** I'm sure they are. ** Same with [[ThisTroper this troper's]] (immediate) family. It's not Thanksgiving if one of the cousin-in-laws isn't trying not to laugh/cry at the same time. *** [[ThisTroper This troper's]] family is the opposite: she gets people shouting her down whenever she says something which could vaguely be construed as negative. ** When I actually try to be sarcastic, it kind of fails. I just recently realized that I don't need to try, I already am. * {{This troper}} is definitely the DeadpanSnarker among her friends, though her male best friend is also one. The two of us are not allowed to sit near anyone else at movies, due to our constant mockery of the {{film}} being shown. ** @/CoyoticEvil thought you were that female friend (wrongly), so you're not alone. ** [[ThisTroper This troper's]] favorite showing is the first matinee. Snark as loud as you want; there's no one else there. * {{This troper}} always gets designated the end seat when seeing a movie with friends because of this. Although the snarkiness is not limited to movies. ** Same. ** Your friends are doing it wrong. The Snarker is supposed to sit in the ''middle'', that all may hear and partake in her wit. Guess where {{this troper}} sits during movies?? *** [[CompletelyMissingThePoint The front row?]] * @/SeanTucker. I snark whenever I get a chance to.

** And thus you prove your lack of self control. *** I bet you know '''''ALL''''' about lack of self-control, don't you, dearie? * My brother, cousin, and I will often mock kids shows, like our own little MST3K. Also, I will say laughtrack after every bad joke my mother makes, which seems to be all of them. ** {{Overly long gag}}s will [[CrossesTheLineTwice cross the line]] [[UpToEleven thrice]]. * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] boyfriend of several months will sometimes introduce himself like she wouldn't remember who he is when answering the phone. Sometimes it takes her a second to realize that he's joking... and that she does know him. She's not incredibly gullible; he's just that good. * {{This troper}} is no longer allowed to talk during Dorm meetings because she finds it's too easy to make anyone who says something stupid regret it. ** Funny. It seems like you don't regret it. * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] mother calls her Doomsday. Her reaction on first hearing this? "Whoa... my snark level has risen to the point that '''''it can kill {{Superman}}'''''!" ** That just makes you a nerd. *** Oh, would you shut UP already?! *** That's a bad thing? I hadn't noticed... * {{This troper}} also turned into this after spending on enough time on this site, sadly his friends misinterpret it so often that "it's called sarcasm" is rapidly turning into his {{catchphrase}}. ** Clearly you're doing it right if you have to explain it. * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] brother was playing Air Soft at a family friends house (in the middle of hick country) when a man on a tractor rode up to him and asked if the owner of the property knew he was there. My brother's response, sounding completely serious: "I would hope so, he's shooting at me." * @/SharmHedgehog is definitely a DeadpanSnarker. When a friend talked about how he wanted to marry someone in school, I promptly said, "Don't worry. When you're rejected and you come back crying, we'll take you to the nearest Waffle House." I also can't help but riff certain parts of movies he sees. Yes, I know I am a ThirdPersonPerson. Got something against that? (See? I made another snark! Ha!) * [[@/BooBooBob I]]'m a tech support schmoe. Do the math. I'm still waiting for an invention that will send small electrical shocks over the phone. ** That's BOFH not {{deadpan snarker}}. Nice try though. Goodbye. * @/{{Jonn}} speaks fairly normally unless angry and irritated, at which point he waxes downright {{Shakespeare}}an. This rather confuses his mother, who happens to be a former English teacher; she frequently has trouble telling whether he's serious or joking. About ''anything''. -->'''Jonn''': I tell you once, I tell you twice, I tell you once again... ** He's actually been trying to hold it in when dealing with a particular coworker who's a dick, because he figures fighting fire with fire just makes everything burn. It doesn't always work; one

recent exchange involved said coworker berated him condescendingly about not checking a minor fact that coworker had advised him about once or twice, over Jonn's protests that he ''was'' checking said fact. -->'''Jonn''': You will let nothing derail your dick train, will you? *** [[SincerityMode I really like the word "dick train". I think I'll use it more now.]] * {{This troper}} comes from an entire family of {{Deadpan Snarker}}s, as well as being one himself. It's especially interesting that the snark is all for different reasons, and in different styles. * {{This troper}} has the snark, but lacks the deadpan. He's an ''Animated Snarker.'' ** I'm another Animated Snarker, at least in person. Online, since there's very little intonation in text, I come across as more deadpan. ** My level of animation varies depending on my mood and energy. When I'm in a good mood I'm a completely DeadpanSnarker; when I'm tired I become an UncontrollablySneeringSnarker. At four in the morning I'll just start coming out with complete non sequiturs in a bitingly sarcastic tone, for no apparent reason. * {{This troper}} is the resident [[BrutalHonesty brutally honest]], animated snarker of most social environments, to the point that people are thanking him for his comments brightening their day (though he's often only deadpan when tired/depressed). It's so ingrained and noticeable that when once at a large (8-9 people) dinner gathering of friends and friends of friends, {{this troper}} was accidentally seated beside the OTHER {{deadpan snarker}} of this larger social network. The two of us were stepping over each other's opportunities to snark, leading to us canceling each other's humor out. It was agreed to always sit at opposite ends of seating arrangements from then on. ** Have you seen the MagnificentBastard TroperTales page recently? I suspect that you and the people who post themselves on there would get on brilliantly. * {{This troper}} has that position in her own family and group of friends, but is easily out-snarked by her boyfriend or any given member of his family. ** This is because your family is clearly a pack of deranged baboons. *** What a way with words you have. *** You're not exactly on the highest rungs of the evolutionary ladder, are you, dearie? *** She's well above you. *** You're all stupid tbh * Me and my friends snark on many occasions. I often like do a bit of MST3K when watching any movie as well. * [[{{Hinoa}} I]], being yet another DeadpanSnarker {{Troper}}, am beginning to wonder if there are any {{troper}}s that ''aren't'' {{deadpan snarker}}s. (On another note, snark runs in my family. On both sides.) ** Claiming to be a {{deadpan snarker}} {{troper}} makes you automatically good at it, doesn't it? * Oddly enough, being a highly-pessimistic loner doesn't make your a sarcasm machine. I mean that sincerely. However, there was a classmate

who went from Token Emo, to {{Jerkass}}, to DeadpanSnarker. * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] friend is part this and part {{Tsundere}}. ** You're THAT desperate for friends? *** Has the above {{troper}} ever heard of psychological projection? They might find it quite interesting. * {{This troper}} is. [[HouseMD He also has a bad right leg, so that he needs a cane to walk, and also wants to be a doctor]](seriously). He also frequently gets in arguments with anti-evolutionists, antiabortionists, and similar people. He often "loses", but that's because the people he happens to argue with aren't very good at it, and so end up telling him to shut up, usually right after he's proven them wrong. Case in point? -->Alice: I hate the Golden Compass. It's about killing {{God}}! -->{{This troper}}: Well, it's just a stupid book. Then again, so is {{the Bible}}. -->'''OR''' -->Alice: Wicca are older than Christianity! -->{{This troper}}: No, it was made up by some old guy in the fifties. (For the record, it was. I do my fucking research, just like "Alice" claims she did.) ** Now, see, you've got it wrong. You ''aren't'' an example of a DeadpanSnarker. You're smack dab in [[JerkAss Jerk Ass City]]. You're ''going out of your way'' to make mean remarks that's not the least bit sarcastic (and throwing a TakeThat at someone's religious beliefs isn't the same as arguing with anti-evolutionists or antiabortionists, anyway). Take heart, though! Being a JerkAss gives ''real'' [[DeadpanSnarker Deadpan Snarkers]] a chance to show you how it's done, like the guys at Something Awful who quoted your first example and commented with this: ''"Oh, my. If I'd been 'Alice' I just would've withered up and died after facing such a display of genius."'' ** Implying that those goons aren't [[Jerkass Jerkasses]] themselves. *** Technically the roots of Wicca are already over 100 years old, though still a far cry from the claims. And yeah, {{this troper}} has a lot in common with the one above. Pretty much every time he encounters a person massively sure of themselves he'll proceed to poke holes in their beliefs, no matter how much he may agree with them himself, or what those beliefs might actually be. It's my life's philosophy to be uncertain about everything - nothing should be taken for an absolute fact. * {{This troper}} and his family are all {{deadpan snarker}}s to some extent. ** Unique and descriptive example, valuable addition to page 5/5 *** Snarking about snark. [[HypocriticalHumour How amazingly original.]] * {{This troper}} carries on a proud family tradition. Get him and his parents watching a {{film}} (or for that matter a football match or even the ''news'') and you'll see. ** Alright, where do ya live? * {{This troper}} waffles between deadpan snark and "LOLRANDOM" humor, as it suits his mood. His friends often agitate him specifically to

draw out twenty minutes of snark for entertainment, especially on road trips. ** That's not {{deadpan snarker}}. That's {{cloudcuckoolander}}. * @/{{Dark}}'s [[BuffySpeak snarkitude]] varies depending on which group of friends/family he's with. Most of his college friends are sarcastic as well, so he tends to fit in. Among his friends who go to another college, he's the obvious snarker of the group. Among his high school friends (the ones still IN high school), he's the unchallenged king of DeadpanSnarker. His family, however (including his dad and brother), are better than he is at snarkerism, so he tends to have it toned down when around relatives, mostly due to snark overload. Be that as it may, he still makes the funniest and most pointed comments when watching movies. * @/JillBug seems to be an unwitting example: people complain about her being sarcastic even when she wasn't trying to be. Her sister is a deliberate DeadpanSnarker (and an excellent one at that); together they have driven their mother to distraction many times over the years. * Subverted with [[ThisTroper this troper's]] friend. At first glance, you might think she's a DeadpanSnarker. But then it turns out she's just a (self-admitted) *** . * Hi there Ladies and Gentlemen! ''Welcome'' to my week. * @/{{Mac}} has been banned from answering the phones and using the PA system at work for this exact reason. * Huh? [[@/{{Specialist290}} Me]], a DeadpanSnarker? Surely you jest... * {{This troper}} was watching a presentation in English class in high school and went "Do you want some ham on your wry?" in a low voice, only to realize afterwards when half the class looked like they were going to laugh and the other half wanted to strangle said {{troper}} that he realized that said that during a sudden pause in said presentation. * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] snarkiness is reaching Max levels. It doesn't help his family and friends are all snarkers. Combine, with his discovering TVTropes and you now have a certified Weapon Of Mass Snark. * I'm so *** funny, aren't I? * {{This troper}} seems to be growing in her snarkitude. She thinks her King of Deadpan Snark chemistry teacher is to blame. * {{This troper}} is an optimist at heart, but loves playing the DeadpanSnarker because it is so fun. Being an everyday contributor and reader of [[TVTropes]] doesn't help things either. ** Finally! Someone who admits that they're only putting on a mask! *** [[OrIsIt Or they're just being sarcastic.]] * @/{{Emz}} is definitely the {{deadpan snarker}} in her group of friends. It's gotten to the point where when they say something stupid, they just look at her and say "Not. A. Word." Her entire family is the same way, though they each have their own...unique flavor. Oh, and her English teacher calls her {{Daria}} sometimes. * I'm a cynical {{deadpan snarker}} but I try to cut back around my family etc. Here's the unnecessary quote: -->Friend: Seriously, it was a brilliant {{film}}.

-->Me: 'Brilliant'... ''shit''... It's a thin line. * @/{{gorgardard}}'s little brother is the type of DeadpanSnarker who doesn't actually make sincere statements anymore - some of us believe he is actually incapable of genuine sincerity. ** A {{deadpan snarker}} is perfectly sincere, except when he's not. * {{This troper}} likes to engage in the quieter or sillier kinds of snarkery. ** Then it's not deadpan. *** Care to point us to the 'Undeadpan Snarker' page? *** Zombie snarker? Now I'm really scared. * {{This troper}} combines the DeadpanSnarker with the Cloudcukoolander in an incredibly dangerous and hysterical way. A personal favorite is whenever someone says "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me," just hit them with a dictionary. Did this in American Lit class, wound up one of the most popular kids in the class for the rest of the year. * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] French teacher is one of these. Given that she's teaching a class of blabbermouths, this side of her tends to show up a lot. * @/{{Gerusz}}'s "Snark mode" switch is stuck at ON. And turned UpToEleven. When he is [=IMing=] with his friends, he has to explicitly declare when he is ''not'' sarcastic. It doesn't help that his other specialty is DeadBabyComedy. Since his first name is (equivalent to) Gregory, it's quite obvious [[{{House}} how his friends sometimes call him.]] Luckily, his friends tolerate it well. ** Ah, my evil twin surfaces at last. * I make a fair few deadpan comments, often without care of the seriousness or context of a discussion. When a friend saved me from falling off a cliff, my response "Well, the was a bit sh*t." I did however thank him later. * Two thirds of [[ThisTroper this troper's]] history class. {{God}}, I love that class. * [[ThisTroper This Troper's]] snarking mechanism works at full capacity when she is exchanging quips with her [[VitriolicBestBuds best friend]], who plays this trope straight all the time. * Half of [[ThisTroper this Tropette's]] class was watching a prerecorded news cast on fast forward, all snarking and whining about the anchorpeople. It was... Surreal, to say the least. * {{This troper}} is snarky to the point of being yelled at by my mum a lot, not that I care. * When @/SapphireFlame is in a bad mood, he becomes this without meaning to. In fact, this is my favorite character type since they get to say the things that I would like to be able to say but would get in trouble for saying so. * {{This troper}} has recently been taken up being a DeadpanSnarker. Not very good at it yet, but practice makes perfect. ** No amount of practice could make up for that optimism. * [[@/TrickyPacifist This editor]] has been acknowledged (or perhaps called out) on their power of snark on multiple occasions. The editor's crowning moment of snark (so far) came during their first semester of college. The Board of Trustees were meeting in a few days to decide basically whether they were going to close the college or

not. Naturally, the campus community was very concerned about this, and many of us were putting a lot of energy into efforts to keep the college open. At one meeting of the community this editor's psychology professors gave a short speech, saying basically that while we (the students) were doing good work trying to save the community, we shouldn't let that totally consume us; that we should save some time and energy for the other things we needed to do to take care of ourselves and continue our lives and--at around this point, this editor called out "Don't worry, we'll come to class." * @/JethroQWalrustitty's English teacher. Favourite topics include complaining about the univerrsity, complaining about Finland, complaining about students, complaining about America, complaining about the French, conspiracy theories. Also, TT personally thinks that calling oneself a DeadpanSnarker would be awfually narcisistic, and 'titles' such as this should only be awarded by other people in social interaction, which, undoubtedly, many here don't have much of. ** It's only narcissistic if you subscribe to the opinion that it is necessarily a good thing to be. Otherwise, if you are a person who is prone to being both [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin deadpan and snarky]], it's just descriptive. * @/{{Gecko}}'s geometry teacher, normally just to two or three particular students, but any member of the class is a possible target. It's rather amusing, though. * {{This troper}} is actually considering having cards printed reading "ThisTroper. Card-Carrying DeadpanSnarker". ** If you have to tell people... ** [[DontExplaintheJoke You must really suck at it if you need to tell people.]] * {{This troper}} is a bit of a Tsundere, alternating between CloudCuckooLander and DeadpanSnarker. In both cases he enjoys racist humor a little more than normal, and retains qualities of both in either mode. ** Because racist humour is {{deadpan snarker}}y rather than, say, racist humour. ** Bragging about something automatically makes it true. * I wouldn't really consider myself a DeadpanSnarker, just someone who sometimes have those moments. Such as the time when my Pre-Calc teacher handed back our tests and asked if I had any complaints, I replied, "Well, if you really want me to. My feet hurt, I'm tired, it's cold outside, I have an essay to write..." * {{This troper}} used to think that he was only sarcastic when the situation called for it. When he (jokingly, as he is an atheist) decided to give up sarcasm for lent, he was met with shock and disbelief. * Normally, {{this troper}} is very kind, idealistic/optimistic, and polite (so much so that people find it strange). However, she has an inner DeadpanSnarker side that comes out when she's annoyed or around others with a similar sense of humor and is, apparently, funnier than her normal sense of humor. In an interesting inversion of certain aspects of the {{trope}}, she only really lets this part of her show to people she's comfortable with. * From the {{troper}} responsible for adding snarky comments after

many people's declaration of snark: I feel like this has been a dethroning moment of mediocracy. I feel like the skinniest guy in fatcamp. ** That's supposed to be a good thing. *** When you're the skinniest guy in fatcamp you're still in fatcamp. Hence mediocrity. ** You shouldn't even be in Fat Camp. You want Obsessive Compulsive Disorder camp. Next exit. * {{This troper}} usually keeps his snarking to himself. Unfortunately, when annoyed or aggravated he loses self-control and goes into snarkiness overdrive. I have gotten into a lot of trouble this way. * {{This troper}}, strangely, acts like more of a DeadpanSnarker around friends than strangers. * {{This troper}} is a full blown {{deadpan snarker}} when it comes to just people in general. Between seeing the stupid decisions made by family, people's behavior in public, and how gaming "fans" act, my motto is "people are idiots and lack common sense and logic until proven otherwise". ** Yeah, because stating the obvious certainly qualifies. *** Actually, I think most people think that stating the obvious DOESN'T qualify...oh wait! I get it! By saying it DOES qualify, you're actually implying that it DOESN'T! You communicated a message that is the opposite of your literal statement! Why hasn't anybody else ever thought to do this? You are clearly some sort of wizard of wit, you MUST share your secret with the world! **** That was too long. * [[@/InsanityInside My]] mother is one. And she keeps telling me I need to stop being so damn sarcastic all the time because I might offend someone. My usual reply is that it is not politically incorrect to make fun of the stupid, since they are not a minority. * {{This troper}} tries to be cheerful and happy like his other classmates and is in fact quite convinced that RousseauWasRight. But when he argues his case he snarks at Rousseau for saying the world sucks (like he has any reason to, the rich bastard) it kinda lapses into snarking. High expectations on life that are rarely fulfilled (a positive streak once more, twisted to the Snark) combined with fondness for sarcasm does not help the case. * {{This troper}} is not one, but knows one in her school. He's also TheHyena and TheScrappy. Hmm. * {{This troper}} is most definitely a {{deadpan snarker}}. However, in a slight subversion, she is normally optimistic and cheerful, which makes it even more of a shock when someone says something to her and she shoots back cynical, sarcastic comments. The optimism is a failed act, really. * {{This troper}} seems to find fault with everything and everyone, constantly pointing out faults in his own mother. Not like I care though. People will get my respect when they earn it. I've also been asked whether or not I think about what I say before speaking in the middle of a class. My response: "Yeah, if I actually care." ** I can't imagine why anybody wouldn't want [[JerkAss your]] respect. ** Especially when it's obviously just an idiot who thinks he's better

than anyone else, but is really just a mediocre hack. * {{This troper}} is one at social events. When I get called on it, I just point out that they should stop giving me the [[SnarkBait ammo]] if they don't want me snarking. * {{This troper}} does this as a [[SuzumiyaHaruhi internal running commentary]] at her [[SurroundedByIdiots job.]] Unfortunately, she has a tic where she begins mouthing her thoughts, leading to some {{Cloudcuckoolander}} moments. * {{This troper}} is a LittleMissSnarker subversion. Subverted, because she is actually at an age where sarcasm is just fine, while looking like she's too young to be sarcastic. * {{This troper}} is a DeadpanSnarker to most his classmates at school mainly because a lot of them are [[SurroundedByIdiots idiots]]. A girl once tried to point this out but failed by saying it was because I was evil. * {{This troper}} is so deadpan that I can say the most outrageous things and then have to explain that I'm kidding. There was the faked flip-out when the lab computer wouldn't logout and I thought I was being a real ham. The teacher asked with concern if everything was all right. * {{This troper}} wasn't even aware she was a snarky until her friend said to her "You seem extra bitter today. Usually you're always making sarcastic comments about everything but today it seems like you actually mean them!" * @/ShadowPanther and his friends are snarky about just about everything. If it wasn't for the fact it was snark, you could easily brand us the most hate filled people in all of Christendom. ** Now that's something to tell the grandkids one day. * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] mother used to be the Master of the art of Deadpan Snark, that it got difficult to tell wheter she was serious or sarcastic. She's gotten softer over the years, so much that my younger sister won't believe me when I tell her about the epic heights of snark my mother could go to. Although she does revert if we do something epically stupid. This might explain why I can drive the most [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan of snarkers]] insane; I've had training since I was young, as you can tell by the number of white hairs on my mother's head. I still love her though. ** Yeah, because anyone can see your mother's head from here. * {{This troper}} used to try and be the DeadpanSnarker, but people wouldn't get that she was using sarcasm and would give her weird looks and, for the times she snarked about leading a double life as a serial killer, sometimes start backing away. She would then have to explain that she was being sarcastic, often drawing the response "You didn't ''sound'' sarcastic..." These days, she is enough of a CloudCuckooLander that her friends are used to her completely false claims, snarky or not. Although when she is snarky now, it's not so much deadpan as enthusiastic and loud. * {{Eisenblume}} is not a pure {{deadpan snarker}}. He is very calm and likes to point out the stupidity in the plans and ideas brought to him and the unlikelyhood of plans succeeding. Then he goes ahead and does them anyway. Thus he calls himself an "optimistic realist" and everyone else calls him sarcastic. Which, you know, he kinda brought

upon himself. * {{This troper}} can't resist the opportunity to engage in deadpan snark, to the point where he's [[ChaoticStupid been fired]] for doing it to the boss. ** I know what you mean. My snarkiness got me killed once. * {{This troper}} is an odd mixture of [[TheQuietOne The Quiet One]] and a spewer of [[IncrediblyLamePun unfunny puns]] IRL, but in the internet or in her mind, she loves to snark a LOT. If she's snarking in the internet, most of the time she's snarking at [[TalkingToThemself her own posts]]. Sometimes she snarks out loud without knowing, or at least that's what others say to her. * At a dinner once, [[ThisTroper this troper's]] brother was describing a bike that his friend from college owned. The brother was describing the very low quality bike, noting poor steering and the fact that it was to small and too close to the ground. [[ThisTroper This troper's]] response was to ask if it had ribbons on the handlebars. {{This troper}} usually snarks like this quite a bit, with a varying degree of success. * Subverted by {{this troper}}. She is a snarker but not completely deadpan; about a quarter of the time when she snarks, she turns away or hides her face or just walks away with a ridiculous grin on her face from the satisfaction of making such a witty remark. However, [[ThisTroper this troper's]] friends have begun to attempt this, only to fail because they don't find the right words (to add the zing) fast enough. Plus the grins on their faces are blatantly visible. * {{This troper}} had his moments. A [[CrowningMomentOfFunny memorable]] one was in high school after a teacher complained about his classmate, who seemed more interested in [[TheCasanova picking up girls from each classroom]] than graduating. -->'''Teacher:''' ''... Sometimes I wonder why you even come here every morning.'' -->'''{{This troper}}:''' ''Probably 'cause he thought the whorehouse was too expensive...'' * Cue laughing all around* * {{This troper}} has been stuck playing TheCaretaker and TheDutifulSon to an increasingly sick and infirm mother and an autistic sister (and not the RainMan kind either, the completely nonfunctional and incoherent kind!). Along with [[VideoGame videogame]]s and general nerdiness, he's found that excessive snarkasm is probably one of the few effective defense mechanisms against total [[AxCrazy ax craziness]], or at least, just plain old craziness. ** So snarkiness is an unquestionable sign of sanity? Good to know. * @/{{INUH}} wrote all three of his essays on a standardized test in this style. He got the highest possible score. Apparently, people who have to read and grade variations on the same boring essay for hours on end appreciate humor. * {{This troper}} considers her Crowning Moment of Snark to be when her mother was complaining about not wanting to go to a funeral, to which she (the {{troper}}) responded 'Yes, they are dreary affairs.' With a completely straight face. ** Another one, on contemplating a dinner party involving her highranking HSBC employee of an uncle, and two merchant banker friends: "Well, won't that be a jolly mix of capitalism."

* @/{{Bulbaquil}} not only is a DeadpanSnarker himself, but so are many of the people he talks to on a regular basis. This often results in recursive snarkiness. ** No, that last statement wasn't redundant at all. Honest. * Both @/{{Wretchkin}}'s parents, which caused me, my brother and three sisters becoming this as we grew up. Most conversations consist of us trying to out-snark each other. * {{This troper}} is part [[CloudCuckoolander Cuckoo Lander]], Cynic, and likes to take {{Refuge in Audacity}}. Most of my ideas, jokes, or snarky replies to jokes tend to be done in such a deadpan tone (straight face included), everyone can't tell whether or not I'm being serious, considering the fact most if not all my friends have ever seen me in a constant serious mood. ** This also actually helps to add an "{{Oh crap}} he actually means it this time." effect when I actually am serious. Needless to say, I think people like the crazy personality more. * {{This troper}} is pretty much this when she's not being a CloudCuckooLander. In fact, she rarely speaks now in Spanish class since the teacher and students all signed a contract and one of the items was no sarcasm. Guess who no one in my family like to watch a movie with? [[ThisTroper TT]]. Guess which movie is [[ThisTroper TT's]] favorite? Rocky Horror. Guess who has to keep her mouth firmly shut when her little nine-year-old sister was telling her about her vampire-zombie story that somehow involved dragons and faries? Yeah. * I think I'm beginning to become one. [[{{Wangst}} Being ignored by my classmates may be helping that along.]] * @/{{Igordebraga}} often goes into this. And a classmate of his is even worse. Great exchange between us two: -->Me: When people talk to you they have to wear protection goggles so you don't spit poison in their faces? -->Him: You speak spitting saliva on people! Why can't I spit some poison? * ThisTroper knows a few people who try very hard to be {{Deadpan Snarker}}s, as that makes them feel as attractive and witty as [[HouseMD House, MD]]. Sadly, they all seem to be posting on this page now. * {{This troper}} is an unabashed DeadpanSnarker. He was well known for this in high school, to the point where a number of his quotes underwent MemeticMutation. Examples: -->Me: (A friend is watching a football game on his laptop during English class) Great essay. -->Me: (A friend makes a comment about always wearing condoms when he has sex) You don't need a condom to masturbate. -->Me: (Will was a conservative nutjob. He was out that day, and Lauren started saying conservative things in Political Science) Oh my {{God}}! Lauren's possessed by Will! * {{This troper}} did it so much that, by the end of the year, several of his friends, plus his girlfriend, were all starting to imitate him. New recruits for {{the Dark Side}}. * {{This troper}}, not like you'd believe him. * I doubt I'm a snarker, though I may be, but does this example count? I work as a cleaner at a movie theatre, and when there were no

customers, my manager told me to say thank you to the customers as they were leaving the theatre. I responded with, "Thank you for leaving a huge mess for us to clean up." Though not to a customer... * I am the type of person who has become so cynical that he has become religious and humanist because of it. I know that the world sucks and a lot of people are going to ridicule me for my beleifs and that, yes, the majority of humanity at any given time is not worth trying to help. But it's still worth trying to make someone's day better. So I try to make everyone's day better, usually through copious amounts of attempts at humor. On bad days when I don't give a damn about anything, I'm ussually a deadpan snarker. * One time, in music class, the teacher was out of the room. A bully started dissing me in every way possible, while I just sat there with a bored look on my face. When the bully stopped, I said "Are you finished?" He said "No, you * ^%&$!" and started again. I continued to sit there, reading a book. When he stopped, I said "Hello to you, too." Without looking up from the book. ** I think you're my hero. * {{This troper}} has his witty moments, though according to a friend he made over the summer (said friend lives in Florida) I can be funny one day and horrible the next. ** Same here for {{this troper}} with one guy I know not understanding what I'm doing and even recently commented on a Facebook status asking why I "must respond to any joke with hostile sarcasm". When the day before he commented that my sense of humour matches Chandler from Friends (specifically my sarcasm). * Like most {{troper}}s, {{this troper}} isn't usually funny or witty when she snarks at others in a deadpan manner. Or when she snarks at others in an animated manner. She just does it because she doesn't know how else to effectively express her frustration/mild amusement at what someone has said or done. Among her group of friends, it's just her thing. * [[@/{{valbinooo}} I]] am known as a source of dry sarcasm and snarkery among my friends. I try to keep most of it to myself, to avoid veering into what's probably considered JerkAss territory, but sometimes an opportunity is just too good to pass up. [[GratuitousFrench Par example]]: ** TheLibby(one of them):* looking at APUSH assignment related to William Lloyd Garrison's writing* So wait...did he REALLY WRITE THIS?[[hottip:!!!:this was a primary source document, so yes, he did write it]] ** Me: ...NO...he didn't write this...[in the DeadpanSnarker tone of voice] *** [[But then again, Libbies are AcceptableTargets at my school...]] * @/{{X2X}} is a NiceGuy by default. Unfortunately, if my buttons are pressed (or if I'm SurroundedByIdiots), I tend to jump to the other end of the spectrum, complete with {{facepalm}}ing and the repeated use of "[[CatchPhrase Sounds like a personal problem to me]]". My snarkiness and [[SarcasmMode sarcastic remarks]] aren't taken to JerkAss levels (there, it's borderline JerkWithAHeartOfGold), but it's really something that people around me should try to avoid setting off.

* @/{{ABadDriver}} often winds up in this territory if not turning into an outright {{Jerkass}}. Of course...this counts for the entirety of my family. * I found this to be [[GayOption one of the best examples]] of DeadpanSnarker on the whole wiki. --> "Apparently, the reason why Bioware did not put an M/M option into the relationship system is because there were, at the time, no gay men on the development team whom they could gather research! Luckily, one of the sound engineers happened to be a monogendered alien." * I'm honored to say that every {{troper}} on this page is a joke looking constantly for a punchline. ** And now you are one of them. Lucky you. *** ITT: irony * @/{{Fishsicles}} is a DeadpanSnarker of the finest kind. The fact that it is doubled with SpockSpeak and a JerkassFacade has led to near-legendary remarks at parties. * This {{trope}} fits me to a tee. Who hasn't been a DeadpanSnarker at least once in their lifetime? * My father handed down the DeadpanSnarker gene to me. For example, when walking into the living room while he was watching a football game: --> Me: Who's winning? --> Dad: The team with the most points. --> Me: Who's playing? --> Dad: Two football teams. -> And this exchange between my wife and I: --> My wife: What are you reading? --> Me: A book. --> My wife: What kind of book? --> Me: The kind with words. --> My wife: What's it about? --> Me (flips to the last page): It's about 400 pages. * Some years back, [[ThisTroper this troper's]] brother was working at a local Best Buy. One day, he was carrying a cardboard box containing a desk out to a customer's car. The box was very large, but not very thick. --> Customer: Will I have to put this [desk] together? --> My brother: No, sir, just add water. * My Math and English teachers are actually this, leading to rather fun classes. This led to a CrowningMomentofFunny in math class, where one of the students asked if he could go to the bathroom. Teacher says no, and the student assumed she was joking and left anyways. After another kid's comment, teacher realizes that the student thought she was joking, and then decided to play a prank on him by pretending to send him to the principal's office. Much lulz ensued. * {{This troper}} is a strange example--she often behaves like a DeadpanSnarker, but also tends to switch into GenkiGirl mode at any given moment. * [[@/LoveIsWeird This troperette]] has a habit of sardonically commenting on various things happening in her classroom or the world if she doesn't have a book to keep her busy. * I've gotten to the point where people frequently mistake actual

compliments I make as sarcasm. * {{This troper}} has been guilty of doing this for about all his life. I end up doing it a lot to my television. * {{This troper}} can't avoid it while talking to her (so-called) friends. Most of them admit her to be quite unpleasant when talking about soccer, politicians and t-shirts. * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] Biology teacher fits this like a glove. Sometimes he would unleash consecutive sarcastic comments on us and then laugh a really weird laugh (hA. HA. Ha.). That way you could never tell if he was being serious or sarcastic. His favorite phrases are: "Dipdong!", "Riddle me this, batchildren", and more that are escaping {{this troper}} right now. He always speaks in a deadpan tone that seems to vary, greatly, in volume. * [[@/{{Damngoodcitygirl}} Myself]] and my brother both have this kind of sense of humor. Except we actually remember the deadpan part, so nobody ever knows when we're kidding. You'd think the exception would be when we talk to each other, right? You'd think so... * ThisTroper doesn't consider herself a {{deadpan snarker}}, but like others above, she has her moments. Most of the time, just to get a snicker out of somebody, or to point out (in the cases of text) how something someone has just said, could totally be taken in a different way. Example of this was last night, when a friend showed her a piece of music. A couple of minutes in, said friend complained at her about another friend showing [[ThisTroper this Troper's]] friend a picture of a Walrus that... well... she didn't wanna see. ThisTroper told her that it was TMI. Brief awkward silence, and then: -->'''Friend''': So, do you like it? -->'''{{Troper}}''': What, the Walrus or the music? * Who ''isn't'' a snarker? We should really just delete this page. ** I'm not. I'm just not quick-witted enough to be one. *** Good. ThisWiki [[SincerityMode really needs less snark for the sake of snark.]] * {{This troper}} can't help but imagine {{the protagonist}} in each ''{{Pokemon}}'' [[VideoGame game]] as a DeadpanSnarker with a generous dose of OnlySaneMan. * {{This troper}} is an odd case. He's usually a ShrinkingViolet, but takes a Level in Snark when angered. * ThisTroper knows several, the worst offender of this is called Louise. * Normally {{this troper}} ISN'T one. However that changes if someone goes all DeadpanSnarker when talking with me. The subject of said snark doesn't matter -- I reply in the same style and it quickly becomes an escalating competition of snark. Well, this, and the wish to riff movies I'm watching... but that's because of [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife TVTropes]] * Some people love this aspect of my personality, but most ''desperately'' want me to stop. * I thought I was safe from this. Turns out I was wrong... crud. * To quote my father after I made one comment or two, 'You're a smartass little bitch, ain't ya?' ....To explain what lead up to the that, he had looked outside at the heavy downpour and announced it was wet outside, and I responded with 'No, really?' followed by him

telling me to go get the bag of chips. I looked around, and asked what the crap he was talking about, to which he replied with 'They're up!' and pointing vaguely. After a couple minutes I finally [[FacePalm facepalmed]], glanced up and asked 'You want me to bring you the /ceiling/?'...I like to think I'm a {{deadpan snarker}}, but I'm definitely horrible at it. ^^; Also, people have learned to stop asking me where other people are, because my answer will always be 'I killed/ate them'. * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] former Law and Social Studies teacher is a {{deadpan snarker}}. On student was talking about a drink being "all natural", @/McKillop's answer, "how about some arsenic, it's all natural." * [[ThisTroper This tropette's]] boyfriend. * @/BertieDastard and his father qualify as this; his friend loves going round, 'cause when BD and his father get snarking at each other, it lasts a long time, and devolves into a lot of snarking. * {{This troper}} has an excellent example. A joke with his friends used to be that whenever the teacher asked where someone was, the answer was, invariably, that they were dead. I carried this on to another school, and during French class, the teacher asked where one of the other students was. I responded, in perfect French, that they were dead. She apparently didn't understand the sarcasm, [[ItAmusedMe and the shocked look on her face made my week.]] * {{This troper}} can keep a friend laughing for 45 minutes by pointing out inane stuff and adding a good dose of dry wit. Because, you know, getting someone to burst out laughing while their mouth is filled with spaghetti for 45 minutes non-stop is safe. Just to point out one thing to all the above {{troper}}s: Saying someone's dead when you're asked where they are is incredibly lame (by [[ThisTroper this troper's]] standards). If you're a real DeadpanSnarker, come up with something else, and if all else fails, there's always RefugeInAudacity where you can create a story involving aliens, mutated cows, and a malfunctioning IronMan suit. ** I usually try to be polite about avoiding inanity, but if you ever tried to tell me that story I would have no choice but to straight up turn around and run. * Theatre people tend to be this, which is why {{this troper}} loves them so much. * I used to be a LittleMissSnarker when I was in 3rd-4th grade. Now, I've grown into a full fledged DeadpanSnarker. Actual conversation. --> Kid Who Sits In Front Of Me In Science: You're so ugly. --> Me: Ooh, I look like you? --> KWSIFOMIS: No. I'm hot. --> Me: (completely deadpan) Have you ever looked in a mirror? --> KWSIFOMIS: Have ''you''? --> Me: [[InsultBackfire Yes. Just this morning, actually.]] ** So using grade-school insults makes you a {{deadpan snarker}}. *** Grade-school? That pithy remark would have left me in despair 'til university time. * [[@/{{MiraShio}} Mira-chan]] often finds herself in a snarking competition with her teachers, just do drive the point home. * Me and my friends are all snarkers, though I'm the only deadpan one.

* @/TenderLumpling is locked-in to SarcasmMode. A mild example would be anyone else describing a food I find completely revolting: "''Scrumptious''." Or, for a better example: A few months ago, my brother said he could never take his shirt off around his daughter since he as a tattoo that says "BULLSHIT AIN'T NOTHIN'". When he asked how he was going to answer the inevitable "What's 'bullshit'?" question, I said, "Ninety-five percent of everything Daddy says." My brother actually thought it was hilarious; not surprising, though, since snark is [[InTheBlood my family's defining trait]]. * Yes, I am sure you are all {{Deadpan Snarker}}s. Just like all of you are {{Brilliant but Lazy}}. * I became like this in high school because my transfer school was full of douchebags, nearly every time I tried to make friends they'd turn me down so eventually I became the quiet kid who occasionally made snarky comments, I still have some traces of this today. * {{This troper}} is often this in regards to her [[LargeHam mother]], who usually either ignores her or just isn't listening. * {{This troper}} is a Silly-Grinning Snarker. She says things like "That makes complete sense" with a sweet smile when her friends speak nonsense, and uses "How lovely" to describe basically everything she hates. Unfortunately, her silly grin makes people think she's in SincerityMode when she's not. * {{This troper}} tends to point out anything negative, so at least some of those comments are ought to turn out snarky, but I wouldn't give myself the credit of being a real {{deadpan snarker}}. A far better example is my best friend. As me and the other girls from our class have put it after a long discussion, she really isn't doing it on purpose, somehow her brain can generate a sarcastic remark on anything much faster than it can decide whether it's a good idea to say it in the current situation. The fact that she's the best student in the school helps, she gets away with much more than a normal person would. Also, she never, ever changes her facial expression. {{This troper}} saw her falling down in PE and her ankle was twisted visibly, but she still looked so deadpan that the teacher couldn't tell at once that something was wrong, until the girl told her herself, in a rather {{jerkass}}-like way. Then she couldn't walk for a month. * {{This troper}} isn't a real snarker, just a person very prone of {{verbal tic}}s that change every once in a while. For a few months her style of talking involved a lot of sarcasm and sounding bored. As for the deadpan part, this troper didn't even notice until enough people pointed this out. {{This troper}} feels dumb right now, because she never actually noticed that her facial expression doesn't change according to her emotions like it does with all the other people. She's working on it right now, but keeps forgetting to smile, which sounds kind of creepy when written like this. * ThisTroper is a {{deadpan snarker}} so much so that no one ever really knows when he is joking or not (a stealth snarker one may say) one night, though drunk he did his best one yet that his mates actually understood; a mate was telling a story about how he had a run in with a cop some earlier time and along with it he was raising out his arms in the most animated of extremes when he said. -->Mate; "I have no idea why I'm moving around like this."

-->Me; "Trying to scare away bears, apparently." Que laughter from the rest of my friends. * Everyone in [[ThisTroper this troper's]] family has their moments, but honestly, she thinks that her dad easily takes the crown of snarkiness. He just has this ability to make almost anything he says entertaining, even when it's about very technical computer stuff. Any surprise that {{this troper}} aspires to be like him? (Then again, he's almost sixty. He's most likely had years of practice.) * [[Tropers/SgtFrog1 I've]] actually had short conversations made entirely of snark with a friend of mine. -->Me: then my roommate moved out during the second semester, so I kinda let the room go to crap...trash and dust everywhere. -->Friend: Congratulations. -->Me: It was quite an achievement. My parents were so pleased with me. -->Friend: I bet they were. * [[Tropers/HiWayXingFrog This Troper]] is one ''par excellence'', only showing animation in the form of a smirk at the reaction of his victims. I actually scored a magnificent one on my own mother earlier in the week. -->Mom: Your sister's actually very athletic. But she's getting really girly and not wantin' to do nothin'. -->Me: So... you're saying laziness is a feminine trait. * [[{{Zarpaulus}} This troper]] gets it from his mother, [[sarcasm]] and often does it in online conversations.[/sarcasm] * {{This troper}} is quite the snarker, so much that he could fit right in ''PrideAndPrejudice''. While watching TheMovie, I said stuff like "they have five daughters... but only two have personalities". Needless to say, everybody wants me to help riff * [[{{Tropers/Joerc45}} This troper]] is a {{Deadpan Snarker}}...[[DefiedTrope NOT!!]] :) I'm quite [[NiceGuy amicable]], [[LoveFreak kind,]] and [[TheCutie cheerful]] and not afraid to admit it. Strangely enough, people say that he has his moments of snarkery. ^_^ ** [[SincerityMode I'm actually quite surprised to find you here.]] *** Yeah. :) Played straight, however, with his grandmother. * {{This troper}} is a {{deadpan snarker}}, for sure, but her friend, "M" is by far the greatest {{deadpan snarker}} she has ever known. Probably one of the wittiest people there are. * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] recently been called out for being one of these. And she HATES it. It's driving everyone away. * My entire family at some point or another, but mostly my mother and myself are guilty of it. Of course, I'm guilty of it in {{jerkass}} proportions. * Tropers.Market43Fan, but moreso his sister. * {{This troper}} tries to control her snark and fails miserably at it. Once at her school, she snarked back so badly at the class JerkAss that a guy two rows to the side turned to look at her with a horrified face. * There's a {{jerkass}} at my school whose favorite hobby is bullying me and my friends. At least, it used to be. He stopped after losing many snark wars to me. And I probably got it from my dad, which

results in many arguments. There simply can't be two snarkers in the same home, it seems. * {{This troper}} and her dad have their moments, but her cousin even more so. He almost borders on SilentSnarker- some people may be surprised to find out that he actually knows how to talk. Most of what comes out of his mouth when he does is witty sarcasm. * No matter how many times I try to be this, I fail. However, I have mastered a way of belittling people's intelligence via this. Example: Friend: I'm alive! (This is after surviving a whole shooting phrase in 40k) Me: Great. Me too. * I'm sure the ability to pull out stock one-liners makes you all witty and smart people. ** Touché, friend. *** Yes. I bet they think they're regular Einsteins. ** Judging by your comments on this page, [[SarcasmMode my friend]], the definition of the word [[ irony]] needs to have a word with you. * What can I say? Over 18 years of loving {{deadpan snarker}}s such as [[That70sShow Eric Forman]], {{Batman}}, SpyroTheDragon, [[ToyStory Hamm]], [[SabrinaTheTeenageWitch Salem]], [[SouthPark Stan and Kyle]], and the like has affected [[Tropers.MexicanJuice my]] overall sense of humor. And the people who know me are well aware of the fact. Hell, even the people who don't know me very well. Just ask my dentist. * In one of my classes the teacher said about a time a dentist drilled into his sinus cavity and his head swelled up. Without missing a beat a woman across the room asked "when do you think the swelling will go down?". The teacher, being a pretty good snarker himself, countered with "the doctor said it's stuck this way". * [[@/RedWren This troper]] was this for quite a while in elementary and middle school. Sadly, she has found it fails when one's audience DoesNotUnderstandSarcasm or subtlety. On the other hand, she's in GATE and they were ''ten'', so this is permissible. She now perpetually worries people won't understand, and fits the whole [[IJustWantToBeNormal trying not to be a snarker]] thing mentioned above to a tee. What's worse is that she's been out of practice for so long that when she slips back into it, ''they suck''. This has been a rant by Red Wren. * I'm definetely one, and has been one for years. I remember my snarkiness starting in Year 1, when I asked a teacher something, she said 'Good question, Neil'. I replied, 'Yes, it was, wasn't it'. It basically secured my reputation as one of the funniest people in the year. ** I can't tell if you're trying to parody the other posts on this page not, which is a bad sign for you either way. * This tropers WHOLE. FAMILY. It gets annoying sometimes when I'm beaten at my own game... (WHEN I am) * What does Pastylover2 want for dinner. Food. * My brother loves this trope, and takes a rather obscene amount of pleasure from catching me when I say stupid things; to be fair, though, I'm usually asking for it. My favorite comes from last year, while I was watching him play one of the VideoGame/PaperMario games.

--> Troper: Don't you hate it when random lumps blink at you? --> ({{Beat}}) --> Brother: (AsideGlance) That can just ruin my whole day. * This troper's history teacher is the embodyment of this trope. -->student: What's "The Inquisition?" --> Ms. Vance: Well, 'the' is an article... -->student: Hey, Miss Vance, do you know what the Inquirer is? --> Ms. Vance: You, apparently. ** This teacher sounds awesome. * This troper's 15 year old younger brother exemplifies this trope. He is an outgoing, typical teenage boy, and yet his preferred type of humor comes in the form of sarcastic one-liners made with a straight face. Since both my mom and myself are fairly sarcastic people, it kind of runs in the family. Still, my brother takes it to the next level. Can be pretty annoying in real life, though. * This troper has actually made a teacher leave the classroom (likely to laugh) while invoking this trope. View: ** Teacher: So what is Shakespeare trying to say in this sonnet? ** hmhp: He's saying "don't sacrifice our love". ** Teacher: Actually, it's saying that the woman doesn't want his love. ** hmhp: Well there you go. What would you rather sacrifice, a nice soft lamb or some gnarly old goat with three legs, one horn, half an eye and bad halitosis? ** Teacher: (Pause. Throws down marker and storms out) I quit! * The following two conversations happened between this troper and a certain dumb blonde with a taste for expensive brand names hereby dubbed Vee: --> '''Vee:''' Oh [Troper], that's a pretty necklace you're wearing! Where'd you get it? --> '''Troper:''' (Not looking up from her reading) Walmart. ** It was the honest truth. The deadpan tone mostly came from the fact this troper wasn't entirely paying attention to the world. But somehow it made the whole table at lunch crack up. --> '''Vee:''' (Looks over to see Troper playing cards by herself) --> '''Troper:''' (Flat look) It's ''Solitaire''. ** Sadly, the above conversation happened at least once more after that. * [[{{Tropers/Luna87}} This troper]]. Full stop. In fact, the best way to describe myself in terms of my sarcasm is just imagine [[TheSimpsons the Comic Book Guy]] if he was lighter [[FatGirl (somewhat)]], black, and female. And given my [[GranolaGirl other]] [[SoapboxSadie traits]], my sarcasm occasionally has some level of preachiness attached to it: ("just think about how many hungry children could have been saved with the money we spent on this garbage"). However, at the risk of annoying people, I do hold my snarking back at times (when I was watching ThePrincessAndTheFrog with my mom and my niece, when we first saw the bad guy in his first, brief scene, I just kept my snark ["gee, I wonder if this is the villain"] to myself). * There's this very quiet Asian boy in my class. One day, some kids

were asking him wht his nationality was(Chinese) and then a girl butted in to the conversation. -->'''Girl:''' Wait, you're Asian?! -->'''Guy:'''(immediately) No, I'm black.\\ A lot of my friends are like this, actually. One of my favorite comebacks from my friend is this: -->'''TheLibby:''' Screw you! --> '''Friend:''' Sorry, I don't swing that way. * @/DJMarred is brilliant at the delicate, subtle, intricate art of snarkery. They were hanging out with some friends, and one of my friends had just thrashed another friend in Table Tennis: -->'''Friend:''' Ha ha! Take that, you South African! -->'''Me:''' I thought you married one. -->'''The others:''' Ooooooo! ** When we were hanging out again some other time: -->'''Friend:''' Sorry he couldn't turn up. He was off getting his wisdom teeth removed. -->'''Me:''' He must be foolish by now. And a third time: -->'''Friend:''' Tell me your secret. -->'''Me:''' I will... in a hundred years time. -->'''Friend:''' [[CompletelyMissingThePoint But I'll probably be dead by then.]] -->'''Me:''' That's the idea. -->'''Friend:''' [[MagnificentBastard You bastard.]] -->'''Me:''' [[SmugSnake I know.]] * This Troper thought she was good at this. Then she met her French professor, who is capable of saying absolutely anything with a straight face. His attempts to tell us about the culture of France often devolve into stunned silence followed by choked laughter. Highlights include telling us about the inferior quality of French cocaine, implying that if aliens wanted to conquer Earth they could just take away all of France's wine and bread and let the ensuing riot destroy us, and telling us that gay bars are more fun in the USA, all in a totally bored tone. He also taught us verbs with examples like 'I want a kilo of heroin is different from I wanted a kilo' and writing this up on the board. People who have no interest in the French language have transferred into the class purely to have fun... and it works. I've never been as close to decent at another language as I am now. ** That said, he considers my lesser level of stoic snarkiness endearing, and has introduced this (female) Troper at least once to strangers as his 'beautiful gay son', which is about as close to a compliment as Professor Bob is capable of giving. * [[Tropers/AdelePotter This Tropette]] is very good at WRITING deadpan snarkers (Anna, [[UnFortunateMe Delilah,]] Luna, Aurora, to name a few), but isn't that big of one herself. Unless you piss her off. * Wow, a "one time at school entry." That's original! Anyway, in English IV, my senior year, we read a poem about a portrait of a boy, or something, some man owned. It was a portrait of his late son, who passed on at a young age. After reading it, the teacher asked us,

"What did his son get to experience in life?" Without missing a beat, in chimes This Troper; "Puberty?" Cue annoyed teacher and a classroom in stitches. * I'm known to do this around my father. Given he is an AdultChild , this happens alot. (minor example) ** Me: Hey, dad, you not going to work today? ** Dad: Yeah, I got the week off. So we can stay home and play checkers all day! :D ** Me: Sounds like hours of fun. * I am this to a HUGE degree. And for some reason most of the teachers at my new school are entertain-able so I get away with a lot. It comes so naturally that I often can't even remember specific occasions. But I think my best was the time I answered a question with the phrase "When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much..." and it fit the question enough that everyone laughed. The sad part is I forget the lead-in line, making me wonder what the hell the teacher asked. * Just about everyone in {{this troper's family SoullessWarlock}}, but I am one to almost JerkAss degree. * I have my moments. ** Girl: Shut up. You are just a fat idiot. ** Me: At least my voice doesn't kill kittens. ** Me: (a really fat girl jumps up and down like a little girl) Earthquake alert! *** Yeah, the earthquake thing just makes you a bitch. **** Indeed it was, but for chrissake, she's a hundred fourty pounds {{Gonk}} who thinks she's the cutest and funniest thing ever. Can't help it. * Me. Here's an example from my Maths class about a week ago: -->''Friend'': [[DickAndDomInDaBungalow BOOGIES!!]] -->''Me'': This is the year 2010, not 2003, thefore Dick and Dom isn't funny anymore. ...and he's 14, not that you'd realize. * This troper cannot go a day without being snarky. Also, I'm Vietnamese but very tan, so people always seem to think I'm Filipino. My usual response to people finding out I'm Viet: --> Person: Wait, you're Vietnamese?! --> Me: No, I'm black. * [[{{neoYTPism}} This troper]] notices that there seem to tend to be some among professors at university. In high school I had some slightly snarky teachers, but their snarkiness was nothing compared to that of some of my professors. (I was surprised by that, because I expected people at a higher level of education to be more professional, which I expected would translate into a LOWER level of sarcasm.) Even among those professors, though, one stands out for snark; my first-semester English professor. -->'''Prof''': So basically, [[TitusAndronicus Tamora]] is actively encouraging her sons to [[RapeAsDrama have their way with]] Lavinia. [[SarcasmMode My, what a wonderful mother she is.]] * This troper is the resident snarker of his class, often switching between TheQuietOne and SarcasmMode, while retaining a soft, low, and deadpan voice. I am also GenreSavvy Ever since discovering [[ this place]]

back in 2007, I've always been one. Well, mostly in secret. But when they find out, my response will be: --> Classmate: I didn't expect that! --> Me: [[SarcasmMode Yeah, 'cause that was SO not obvious.]] * I'm is well known for it at my school. When asked to define sarcasm one kid just pointed to me and said "90% of what comes out of that guy's mouth." The teacher just paused then said "Well I really can't argue with that." * This troper became a deadpan snarker at a very early age because of the influence of her sister. Unfortunately, she lost the charm by the time she became old enough for people to understand that she was being sarcastic and not in sincernity mode. * While I am normally this, I had a rather good moment today. Some kids in Grade 9 (the youngest age in our high school) were pounding their fists on a vending machine because their Skittles weren't coming out (that they probably didn't even pay for, mind you). After several people told them to stop, I said "pounding on the machine won't help you" in a not kind, but not condescending tone. Then they started to act tough (for no apparent reason) and said "Oh yeah? What do you know?" My response: "Okay then, you just stand there all day, pounding on the vending machine, looking like colossal dumbasses and pissing off all the seniors who could probably throw you out of the building with no effort, not to mention all the teachers who like to keep the school quiet this time of year (as it was during exams). I won't stop you." They immediately left. * This is what this troper is. An example of my snarkiness is when my mom got a call from my aunt a few days ago asking for a cure for hiccups. -->'''Troper's Mom:'''(Troper's name), your aunt wants to know if you have a cure for the hiccups. -->'''Troper:''' Just shut your mouth and the hiccups will go away. I tried it once and it works. * This troper comes from "Snark Stock," which is to say, his entire family is a gigantic bunch of snide bastards, and he's about the biggest culprit of all. Some fun exchanges between family members and I: -->'''Uncle:''' Tell your dad I'll be bringing the high pressure washer over later. -->'''Chris:''' What's that for? -->'''Uncle:''' ...For washing things at ''high pressure?'' And of course, between my father and I when I was working at his family practice in place of a secretary that had called off: -->'''Dad:''' ''*walks a patient out*'' Wow, Chris, you're sorta useful! -->'''Other Secretary:''' Doctor, here are your charts for the evening. *points to a stack of at least fifteen charts, meaning fifteen patients* -->'''Chris:''' Hey, you're sorta useful too, Dad! * Wow, now I see that everyone on TV Tropes has a dry, sarcastic wit based solely on stories about how they burned their friend this one time with absolutely no context. ** You have made me smile.

* My friend regularly asks if there is something on her face after lunch. I get annoyed by this. -->'''Friend:''' Is therer something on my face? -->'''Me (in perfect deadpan):''' Yes. It is what we call "skin". (nods disapprovingly) * This troper remembers a snarky moment from a family party. -->'''Cousin (on phone with her friend):''' What's your emergency?! -->'''Me (pretending to be her friend):''' I think I broke a nail. * While I can be this at times, a guy I work with fits this trope in spades. He's ''especially'' snarky on anything that has to do with Windows (he's a Linux guy) and anything ''not'' the Green Bay Packers (on a related note, [[BerserkButton never say anything bad about the Green Bay Packers around this guy]]). * Kyle, a friend of mine, is a humorous version of one which happens to gain his EnsembleDarkhorse status. Probably the most hilarious example is this: -->'''Best Friend (to Kyle):''' Did you know we have lunch after this period? -->'''Kyle (reading a book):''' (with a serious expression that quickly changes into a mockingly cheerful expression) [[SarcasmMode Oh really!?!?!]]. (changes back to serious expression while glaring at my best friend). * [[{{Tropers/Bannermanonemillion}} This troper]], full stop. Won't waste space with examples, but if you get to know me, it'll be evident. * me. * One of this troper's classmates. No one likes him except another boy, and even that boy can't stand him sometimes. To make it worse he often snarks in English, which many of my other classmates don't understand, at least not enough to understand what he means. * This Troper managed to pull this off in school today. -->'''Guest Speaker:''' She has a soul, doesn't she? What about her soul? -->'''Me:''' I don't have one. I'm a ginger. * Yeah...this page sound more like {{Jerk Ass}} then {{Deadpan Snarker}}. * This Troper managed one a few days ago. -->'''Friend says something about Zeus and how he was flawed and stuff and how humans were modeled after him(I don't remember it exactly) -->'''Me:''' That would explain a lot. * This happens with me sometimes, but half the time somebody talks before I can get my response out. But I CAN get in some gems. --> Kid: What about them ninjas? Them ninjas is cool, look at that old lady ninja! --> Me: *clearly watching Fullmetal Alchemist* What kind of idiot ARE you? * This Troper believes sarcasm to be the default mode of communication for her generation (i.e. The 90s kids). She was very much one, constantly sparring with her sharpest-of-tongue high school BFF, but has mellowed out since university (or so she hopes). * This troper's girlfriend once did something clever, and afterwards said "I'm using my smarts!" I replied "BOTH of them?!"

* This troper is around 75% Deadpan Snarker and 25% Jerk with a Heart of Gold. I tend to make off-handed comments clearly intened to be snarky, but get taken for face-value. Such as this charm. --> Club Supervisor: *Talking about a male-dominated job sector, and how there will be a presentation for girls wanting to get into this profession (Video Game Designer)* --> Me (Deadpan): So its some sort of [[{{BuffySpeak}} chick enpowerment thing?]] * This Troper is more or less a {{Silent Bob}} most of the time, but whenever I do talk, I tend to intiate full-on Snark mode. * [[{{@/Anomaly188}} This Troper]] is an Aspie and thus Deadpan Snarker is my hardwired default setting. I snark off whenever an opportunity presents itself no matter the situation or setting. One example was during a college level English Comp class. The lady professor refreshed us on the FANBOYS acronym, otherwise known as the conjunctions. Near the end of class she gave me a window that I couldn't pass up: --> Professor: What are FANBOYS used for? --> Me: Target practice! * This Troper does this so damn much that his family can only tell the difference between him being serious or if he's actually snark-mode 95% of the time. * [[{{Tropers/Aspie}} This troper]] does this sometimes. He often forgets to use SarcasmMode when doing it on the net, causing [[HilarityEnsues hilarity to ensue.]] * Occurred when my teacher was trying to convince me not to hate chorus. Keep in mind I was in chorus and very, very badly wanted out. -->'''Teacher:''' Oh, come on, [Troper]! Let your inner canary sing! -->'''Me:''' My inner canary wants to sing {{Dragonforce}}. ** I think I love you. * My band director fits this to a T. After doing something really dumb, he asks, "[Troper Name], were you being extraordinarily stupid yesterday or just normally stupid?" That and his deadpan way of threatening to kill at least one person in the band on a near-daily basis. *** Hrm, sounds extremely familiar to this troper... ** This tropers classmate Nolan almost always talks in a very serious, deadpan voice. So he was reading a story, a very serious one obout the word overflowing with water, and people dying, and things like that. He gets to the part in which the king of an island thats about to drown is going to hang himself- and then we get some evil guy who was responsible for the flood coming in, and the king asking what he wants. Then, we get this line: "We want your ipod. Your music is cool." The entire class started laughing. * I had a really good one the other day: --->'''Aunt:'''So are your classes hard? --->'''Me:'''[[SincerityMode Not really.]] *{{beat}}* [[BadAss Not if you're me!]] * One of my best bud's CatchPhrase is "Apparently your defintion of [insert an adjective] is different from mine."

* This troper has a Calculus teacher like this. The class isn't quite sure if he's a full-time DeadpanSnarker or a part-time JerkAss, too, since he usually snarks at students, but we do think he's funny. So long as his comments aren't directed at us. It also pays to know your audience when it comes to sarcasm--some people ''really'' don't appreciate it. * [[{{Tropers/DoubleG}} I]] usually cross JerkAss territory instead of being [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]]. In fact, I'm pretty much like this on a daily basis, well thanks to [[TookALevelInJerkAss past experiences]]. One time, my friend told me a joke in class, and our classmate/acquintance asked what was funny, my friend told him nothing and that it was an inside joke. When my classmate said he didn't get it, I told him: --->'''Me:''' Of course you wouldn't get it, because it involves friends. * Depending on the situation, this troper can play the role exceedingly well. --->'''Friend:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext See, I can gather sticks!]] --->'''Me:''' To be fair, a dog could do the same job quicker. --->'''Son-to-not-be-friend:''' Hey, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. --->'''Soon-to-be-slapped-me:''' I did. It's very impressive that canines can be trained to higher competency levels than certain humans. Then I got bored of normal snarkiness. So I moved on to hypocritical snarkiness for added joy. --->'''Me:''' Of course. Only Americans would make such broad generalizations. * This troper is more of a standard smart aleck mixed with [[LargeHam Large Ham]], but can be more deadpan if he wants. * This troper fits the Snarker part, but replaces the Deadpan with [[LargeHam Large Ham]]. Outside of LargeHam Snarking, I'm one of the biggest [[ThePollyanna Pollyannas]] you'll probably ever meet. ---Go back to DeadpanSnarker. Like that will help. ----

DeadTVRemoteGag * @/{{Warlock}}: My old-old-inherited-from-my-stepdad TV, where the face buttons were half dead, meaning that the remote was the only reliable option for changing the channel or volume. So dead batteries == screwed. * @/{{Seanette}}: It was not possible to change channels on my previous cable box without the remote. The box had ''no'' buttons at all. Its successor does have control buttons on the box itself, which I consider a vast improvement. * During one of my computer classes, the instructor discovered that the batteries in the remote for the projector were broken, precluding him from turning the device on. Rather than hunt for batteries in the middle of class or go without visual aids, he simply poked the power button with the end of the remote.

DealWithTheDevil * That editor had a nightmare where a female devil was giving these out en masse. In a twist, while she always made sure the result was up to specifications, she'd consider it an agreement even if you were only tempted by the offer. Meaning you could say no, and she'd take your soul and give you what you wanted anyway "because you were thinking 'yes.'" ** Was she hot? On a related note, [[UnitOmega This Troper]] has detailed plans if he is offered such a deal that involve him getting what he wants, but ''not'' getting screwed, hopefully. (Think GrimGrimoire.) *** She was reasonably pretty, though at the time I was more worried about "HOLYCRAPIJUSTLOSTMYSOUL!" **** You can borrow this one. It's a loaner, but the milage is pretty low. **** ...Erick? * Remember that "Soul Contract" thing from {{XKCD}}? Yeah, I actually did that. * I'm not sure when it started but because of my mischievious nature, my friends and cousins seem to think they're making such a deal with me as the devil whenever I offer to do them a favor. The ones who found out about the pitchfork toy I owned all gave me blank looks when they saw me with it. * Our tabletop gaming group used to own our Dungeon Master's soul in exchange for a soda. He bought it back later in two installments. (Please note this was played entirely for laughs. Tabletop gaming does not actually give you the power to extract or manipulate souls.) ** [[ Someone hasn't read his]] JackChick it seems...([[CriticalResearchFailure Don't]]) * In a rather disturbing and depressing Real Life version of this trope, my Biology teacher once told the class a story about a smart, intelligent girl who went bad when she was about fourteen; having constant sex with everything, doing drugs, stealing, all that, and she even bragged she had promised the Devil to kill herself on her eighteenth birthday if she got everything she wanted until then. In what this troper truly hopes is a coincidence, shortly after her eighteenth birthday, she didn't kill herself but she was arrested and was thrown in jail, and is still there to this day. Mind you, the focus of the story was on how a person with such potential threw it all away, not the demon part, and he didn't even point out that her life stopped being "good" after the promised birthday, but it's still creepy. * This troper had a history teacher who mentioned a student that would sell candy bars for souls. She always had the right kind of candy bar. ** This Troper will gladly sell his soul to that student. Mostly because he doesn't think he has one. Weeeee! Free candy bar! * [[{{Crion87}} This troper]] wants to sell his soul for a long-term [[{{IfYouKnowWhatIMean}} romantic involvement]] with an albinistic

woman - he doesn't care anymore, even if she turns out to be an EvilAlbino... ** This troper knows a female albino. She's Mormon and would probably pretend to trade your soul for a relationship, and then laugh at you and walk off. Maybe she ''is'' evil? *** Agreed, but [[{{Crion87}} this troper]] is currently trying to atone for a [[{{YourCheatingHeart}} two-timing]] [[{{NoodleIncident}} incident]] involving betraying a GamerChick with an OlderThanTheyLook [[{{HookerWithAHeartOfGold}} ex-prostitute]] [[{{TheFundamentalist}} hypocritical Christian fundamentalist]]. Thanks, but [[{{Crion87}} this troper]] has a second chance with said GamerChick now, maybe later, Satan. Plus that's not the [[{{EvenEvilHasStandards}} kind of ''evil'' I meant...]] **** Wait, let me get this one straight. You ''dumped'' a ''GamerChick''?? * This troper sold his soul to the devil recently. Easiest 20 bucks he ever made. * [[{{Joerc45}} This troper]] would sell his soul for a [[BuxomIsBetter busty]], [[{{Gainaxing}} bouncy]], [[HairOfGold blonde beauty]] with a [[HotLibrarian genius intellect]], [[TheMessiah heart of gold]], and [[GeekyTurnOn vast knowledge of video games, anime, books, and computers.]] ** You fool. For a soul you could easily get a partner with blue hair! Or pink hair. And a job of some kind, so you don't have to give them money constantly. You cast too wide a net. * I'm currently willing to sell my soul to get a happily ever after with my unrequited love interest, bonus points because in the future when I get cybernetic upgrades, they won't have a soul to eat <3. * Er...not sure this counts, but this troper is writing a novel in which my protagonist ''tries'' to sell her soul to Hades (a fairly benevolent deity in this adaptation,as per the original myths)to save her dying LoveInterest but can't manage because she doesn't technically have a soul. ** In my short story, a guy who likes a retired band tries to sell his soul to a sort of Incubus who (probably) means him no indirect harm... By doing so, the Incubus lets him time-travel back to the times his band rocked and an ensuring fire breaks out at their concert. but in an OuterLimitsTwist, the friendly demon lets TheHero weasel his way out of the contract- by haunting indefinately the store he worked at after the same fire kills him. * This Troper's wife (who is a domestic, lifestyle slave) repeatedly asked for her contract to be revised after our marriage to specify I own her soul for all eternity, after which time I consented. I have a great wife. This has not, however, disabused friends of mine from openly referring to me as "the devil." * This troper would sell his soul to change the world. * This troper's brother is more like a deal with the sidhe, but otherwise operates on the same principle. He won't enter into any agreement (with this troper, at least; who knows, maybe he's actually trustworthy when I'm not around. Pigs have flown before) if he thinks there's any possibility he'll have to hold to the spirit of the deal; perverting the letter of the deal to his own advantage is like a

twisted little hobby for him. * This troper thinks the people of the Middle Ages were idiots for thinking someone would agree to this.Back then,everyone was TheFundamentalist.So why would anyone of the time make a deal with Satan if they knew who he was and that it'll end up in misery?I knew they were BookDumb,but I didn't think they'd be this TooDumbToLive ** YouFailHistoryForever. Not everyone was TheFundamentalist, and the Devil's usually believed to be pretty damn persuasive. *** Yeah, but it's your ''soul''. Unless the person was really stupid, did not truly believe souls existed, or Satan used mind control or hypnosis (which would be pretty likely...) * This troper was one of the few to defy this. Upon hearing on skype that two of her friends(who were together) met up again, I complained that [[TemptingFate I would give anything to meet up with my boyfriend.]](I should point out that [[LongDistanceRelationship he lives on the other side of the country.]]) Cue the devil showing up and asking for my soul in exchange for being able to see him. Knowing that I already intended to meet up with my boyfriend this summer and that the devil would probably outsmart me in some way, I declined. We argued for a bit, and he eventually left, along with his assistant demon. * In an AllDogsGoToHeaven[=/=]Balto Roleplay this troper was in, Sakak, one of the main villains and an ancient Trickster spirit pulled a HeelFaceTurn with Belladonna, her coming along with him because they were in love. He buys the Devil out of one of these (Sakak litterally invented loopholes in this RP, so making deals with him wasn't a bright idea) in exchange for buying back Belladonna's soul for her because he loved her, [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming aww!]]. * This Troper has a friend who, whenever she asks her for anything (especially money), will ask for her soul in return. It's less a permanent sale than collateral for a loan, though - she'll give it back once I pay her back. Sometimes, if it's not something I can return (like a sheet of paper to take notes in class), she'll give it back anyway, since she says the fun is in the chase. She doesn't want to torment me for eternity, and it's no fun to just have it. ---You can go back to DealWithTheDevil, just sign on the dotted line in your own blood. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DeathbringerTheAdorable * [[{{SorenDiz}} This troper]] was playing Disgaea 2, and due to the game's rather idiosyncratic random naming for generic characters, ended up with a Lv. 1 Healer named... Deathsatan. Kind of ironic, if you think about it. * [[{{Indigo}} This troper]] lived next door to Killer, a shy toy Yorkie who could put all four paws in the palm of an adult's hand. ** [[{{Sciatrix}} This one]] lives next door to an adorable, impeccably-behaved, fluffy Cockapoo named Spartacus.

* [[ManCalledTrue This editor]] has a pet chihuahua mix named Bruiser. He calls it "the rat". It barely stands taller than his ankles. ** Are you sure you're not on this troper's old paper route? Someone there had this cute little chihuahua-type thing named Bruiser. Every time this troper approached the house, Bruiser would come running, doing his best Rottweiler impression, but never actually got very close, and would run off if yelled at. ** This troper's aunt has a dog named Bruiser. He's the most neurotic dog she's ever met. He's terrified of trees! * This troper's best friend has always planned on buying an evil looking dog and naming it Cujo, however she plans on it being extremely sweet and terribly dumb. This same friend's mother had a dog named Mad Dog, which caused a bit of trouble when she called its name in the streets. * This Troper named her kind, sweet-tempered, and extremely shy cat [[{{Warrior Cats}} Hawkfrost]]. This was before she found out the canon Hawkfrost's actual personality... ** HilariousInHindsight much? * This troper, as a 16-year-old with an 8-week-old miniature Rat Terrier puppy, named her Dragon. The joke is she will learn to breathe fire and fly when she grows up. ** '''My''' rat terrier is named Thor, but he's a hydrophobic little skittish freak! I'm extremely excited! For no fuckin' reason! * This troper always wanted a dog, but due to [[ExecutiveMeddling Parental Meddling]] ended up with a goldfish. She named it Spike. This turned out to be a subversion, as it then ''ate its tankmates''. * This troper has named his new baby bunny in advance: Colonel Fear, Lord of Darkness. * More a [[IronicNickname nickname]] than an actual name, but this troper has taken to calling Monty, his sister's ball python, "Monster," solely to invoke this. Monty is a cute, sweet-tempered, cuddly sort of creature who likes warm hiding places and tickling people with his tongue. Monsty is actually the reson this troper is no longer scared of snakes. * This troper's best friend has a Pomeranian named Ripper. * This troper's cat, Psycho, may just be the single most cuddly and affectionate animal ever. * This troper named one of his Nintendogs Deathbringer ([=DthBrng=], actually, due to the name length limit) solely due to this trope's existence. And it is adorable. * This troper knows of a Labrador puppy (although it's probably a full grown Lab by now), named Killer. Strangely, the name made it seem even cuter. * ThisTroper has 3 dogs named Randy, Taz, and Blondie. When there are salesmen nearbye, they are Werewolf, Satan, and Beelzebub * This troper originally had subverted this when she named her Siamese kitten Meany, as he was wild and crazy and would bite, claw, or destroy everything in sight. However, when Meany grew up, he apparently learned to accept himself and turned into a feline drag queen who loved to prance around in pink ribbons and flowers and the like. It was hard to explain why the frilly little critter had that name while he was begging for his favorite pink bow to be put around

his neck. * This troper had a leopard gecko named Spike. He wasn't sweet, as such, but he wasn't threatening, either. Mostly, he would just lie around in his terrarium. * This troper lives next to a man who keeps three rottweilers: Ripper, Shredder and Gouger. They're adorable, though Shredder has, apparently, chased an incompetent burglar out of the house. ** Same guy keeps Varelisus the Spineborn, Eater of Hearts. He's a hedgehog. * [[{{Tropers/Kalle}} This troper]] and her boyfriend are planning on getting a Dachshund puppy and naming it [[NeonGenesisEvangelion Evangelion Unit 01]]. 'Eva' for short. * Tropers, meet Fenrir and Cerebus, the world's most lazy pair of Dutch Barge Dogs. * This troper used to have a kitten she named Hercules. This trope's continued with all her cats. Especially the ginger Persian named Cuchulainn. ** Wait a second there. You called a cat "The HOUND of Chulann"?! WTH??!! * This troper knew a guy at university with a hamster called Mumm-Ra the Ever-Living. ** But hamsters only [[{{Irony}} live three years]]... * [[BretheWriter This Troper]]'s family named their basset hound puppy Loki, after the Norse God of Fire and Mischief. Although he will run up and bark at you madly if you dare to come near his yard, if you lean over to pet him, he runs as though the hounds of Hell are chasing him, ''still barking defiantly.'' No one is impressed. * This troper's sister-in-law's family owns a German Shorthaired Pointer named Kaiser. He comes up to this troper(6'1")'s stomach and is the biggest puppy you've ever met. He can leap the fence, though, so might partially be a subversion... * This troper's guinea pig is called [[CthulhuMythos Cthulhu]] * [[{{Smerf}} This]] troper's mother, as a child, had a pet dachshund (aka wiener god) named "Brutus", who was a sweet dog that like having his ears stroked. ** Subversion, though: Brutus killed a deer in the back yard one day, and the animal control people had to pry his jaws open with a crowbar. He was a throwback to the original dachshunds, which were used to hunt badgers. ''In their dens.'' * This troper knows a woman who named her kitten Rasputin. Troper herself has always wanted to name one of her own pets after a serial killer. ** I named my cat {{Dexter}}. Close enough? * This troper has a couple next door that have a dachshund named Raider. He comes up barking at you and will back away, still barking, if you try to come over and pet him. If you leave walking, he runs after you, barking. This troper believes that he thinks he's running you off his turf. * [[{{Karalora}} This troper]]'s cat is named Sekhmet, after the Egyptian lion-headed goddess who was so violent and bloodthirsty that the only way to calm her down was to spike a hundred barrels of beer with red dye so that she would mistake it for blood, drink it all, and

then pass out drunk. The cat? Has ''never'' used her teeth or claws in anger, and loves to cuddle. * This troper once knew a pit bull named Cain, who was the sweetest dog you would ever meet, and who loved to invite himself over to play with our dog. * This troper has named a Goldfish Hercules. Possibly a subversion as he was the biggest fish in the tank; and if my dad's theory about whether or not he was responsible for the deaths of several other fish, may have lived up to his name. My friend also named his adorable, black lab puppy Caesar, though I'm not sure if that counts since it's a common name for people and animals, but the dog was adorable. * This troper has a pet dachshund named Maximilian(or Max/Maxi for short). He made a Rottweiler twice his size back away from him, and a large fox run away. * When my mother's cat had kittens, she allowed me and my siblings to name them. I named one Crassus, after an Ancient Roman general and politican, who defeated the Spartacus Revolt and had the surviving slaves crucified. I just like the sound of the name. * My dad once had a Chihuahua named, and I quote * clears throat* [[OverlyLongName Chico Bananas Gonzales Hernandez Fernandez Desoto Pancho Cisco Pedro Juan Emmanuel Chili Con-Carne Bacon]]. And it apparently thought it was a Doberman. ** Your father (if he named it) must have had good memory to remember all that. This Troper bets just about everyone else had a shorter nickname for it (and it was probably Chico). * Gigantic (and I mean gigantic, I think there's some lynx or something in it) orange cat owned by an ex-army South African named Ghengis Khat. Complete wuss. Attatched to owner to a suspicious degree, seems to be jealous of wife. * Whenever my dad takes our three-year-old, very cute but balding Pomeranian named Koda for a walk and encounters anyone, especially if they have a big dog, he calls our Koda, "Killer" * Now, because of this trope, I'm gonna name my grandma's kittens weird things. [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife Thanks, TV Tropes.]] * This troper has Oberon the houseplant and Poison the two-inch long fish. Poison ''is'' a Siamese Fighting Fish, though, so this troper guesses he kinda deserves his name. This troper actually got that name by butchering "poisson", the French word for "fish". ** It is to be noted that poison is spelled the same in in French and English, but is pronounced almost exactly the same as poisson, but with a zz sound instead of an ss sound. So, really, not that hard. * Game example: [[GamerFromJump My]] Raticate started as a Deathbringer. A Rattata named [[{{Transformers}} Ravage]], not very intimidating. After evolving, it [[RodentsOfUnusualSize grew into its name]]. ** This troper invoked this deliberately on two seperate occasions. Deathman the Togepi and Doom the Eevee (Now a Togetic and an Espeon respectively) * This troper knows a friend who has a rottweiler named War. The reason he's on this page is because he's really a sweetheart. * Don't really know if this counts, but... This troper had a gerbil

she happily called León (Lion) after a character from a book she had just read. This troper's mother decided to call the poor thing Ratigan. He never did anything beyond escaping from his cage once. * This Troper's [[BigFriendlyDog Yellow Labrador]] was named Baron by his mother (as in after the RedBaron). And he just loves to be petted (and will lie down lazily when he gets it). Also loves to play with water (one of his funny habits is to splash around in a vat used to collect rain water). * My mother has a dog who's about a feet high (he's a mix between a small poodle and a papillon), and he's an absolute sweetheart. His real name is Harry, but we call him "the great beast." * ThisTroper has a friend whose brother got a Pit Bull and named him Tank. And oh my gosh does he belong on this page! He thinks he's a lapdog, he always wants to be petted, and he's perfectly fine with being subordinate to the tiny older female dog the family owns. He's the sweetest thing ever, wants to be loved on and lick people, and is just so cute! * This troper has a pet Pekingese, all of a foot high and two feet long, named Zeus. He likes licking people and is the closest thing to a living ragdoll she's ever owned, since he goes completely limp when picked up. * This tropers old teacher told him about when she lived on a farm with chickens. I asked the names of the chickens, but i cannot remember any of them but one called '''Firebird.''' * This troper plans to name her future puppy "Goliath." :) * This troper has a 12-lb toy poodle named Jack, who is also known as the [[GirlGenius Jagerpoodle]] . He thinks he's a guard dog, and has taken on the neighbor's pit bull and won (it was more of a play fight, but Jack vs Spike always ends with Jack winning). He's a cuddle monster, but can destroy things like you wouldn't believe. * [[ The Kitten Cthulhu.]] You're welcome. * This troper, an avid Pokemon player with a creepy sense of humor, has had such gems as [[AdolfHitler Hitler]] the Pidgey, Mussolini the Mankey, and [[TexasChainsawMassacre Leatherface]] the Pachirisu. * So a year ago, my parents decide to get a new dog, a Shih Tzu. They found out that a friend of theirs at work had to get rid of a 2 year old dog, so we adopted him. His name? Cujo. He's just this adorable little gray and white dog with a love for being cuddled and absolutely no mean bones in his body. The person who named him? Had no idea there was even a movie or book called Cujo, and named him after a hockey player's nickname. * My cat, an adorable Birman, is named Nazi. ---Back to DeathbringerTheAdorable. Awwww, whosa sweet widdle trope? You are! ---<<|TroperTales|>>


* This troper once had a dream involving a castle with an enormous, stained-glass window inhabited by a giant dragon. The dragon immediately smashed through the window to attack me, but all I could say was, "I knew it! I knew that would happen! That window was far too huge and breakable to NOT be broken!" As I was standing there yelling, the dragon immediately ate me. * This troper and his friends were playing TabletopRPG when his party entered a abandoned temple, looking for a certain treasure. It was only one room full of scary looking statues to the sides with a small altar containing the treasured at the end. This troper immediately said "Uh, guys, I think those statues are going to come to life and splatter our guts the moment someone touches that thing...". Nevertheless, the other party members decided to disregard my advice and get the little trinket, while I stayed as far away of it as I could, thinking the statues were only going to attack those ''near'' the thing. Turns out I was right, and the moment our spellcaster took the treasure, the statues came to life. Then it turned out I was wrong, and the statue closer to me immediately splattered my guts while I wasn't looking. This troper made sure to have his last words being: "I... Told you... Motherf...". * This troper occasionally chooses characters with longer ranged weapons in [[SoulCalibur Soul Calibur]] in the hopes that I can keep opponents at a distance... too bad this often incenses them into rushing into me, effectively foiling my strategy. * [[MalachiteDragon This Troper]] had a dream like this recently after reading too much on the SexEqualsDeath trope page. He and his girlfriend, in his dream, had just finished [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean doin' the horizontal mambo]] when I roll over onto my back and stare up at the ceiling. Cue beat panel, then I close my eyes and say out loud, "Awww fuck. This is the point where we die messily, isn't it?" Cue [[NightmareOnElmStreet Freddy]] stepping out from behind my door. --->'''Freddy:''' "Yeah, pretty much." --->'''Me:''' "Totally called it!" '''*BLARG*''' * This Troper's friend once played in a DnD campaign where his party was going through a castle when they spot a chest. They want to open the chest, but he says that it will eat him. They argue for a while, then the rogue opens the chest without anyone noticing. Guess who gets to scream "I told you so!" before being devoured by a chest? * [[TheTallOne My]] English teacher is a horror movie aficionado, and one day we were talking about who would survive if our entire class were dumped in a horror movie. It was decided I would be second to die ([[BlackDudeDiesFirst after the mouthy black kid, of course)]], because of my GenreSavvy and [[DeathByPragmatism pragmatism.]] * My Drama club, and several other kids, decided to make a zombie game. The rules were simple. 1 kid would be chosen at random to be the infected one, and eventually turn, trying to get everyone else, who would them become zombies. We would then try to kill the zombies before they could kill us. Being the genre-savvy deadpan snarker, I was the first one targetted. Subverted, because I saw that one coming and promptly took off with the rest of my 5 man band, and set up a large ambush in a forest clearing.*We were playing in the woods* In the end, we were the only 5 to survive, as the zombies all immediatly

lunged for me, allowing me to easilly bait them. ** However, they still haven't forgiven me for it, so I may end up Dead by Genre savvyness yet... I just KNEW there'd be a link to DeathByGenreSavviness on this page! I just KN-*'''CRUNCH'''* -----<<|TroperTales|>>

DeathByNewberyMedal * This Troper was researching depressing books for fanart for MyImmortal. She came upon a theme. Most depressing books are either about dead dogs or Nazis/The Holocaust. So, the most depressing book ever would logically be about Nazis who kill a dog. I can see it now! ''Blondi, Mein Freund'', the heart wrenching tale of Adolf Hitler's beloved German shepherd and his agonizing decision to kill her before the Russians do. ''The Diary of Anne Frankfurter'', the bittersweet memoir of a dachshund who hides with her family in an attic during Nazi occupation. ''Mitzi's Choice'', a Polish Lowland Sheepdog named Mitzi is impounded along with her puppies, and she's forced to choose which one will be put to sleep. There would also be such titles as ''Old Yellow Star'', ''Where the Red Army Marches'', ''Summer of My German Shepherd'', ''The Schnauzer in the Striped Collar''...OK, I'll stop now! ** Thanks for all the PlayedForLaughs. No seriously. The two topics alone are depressing, but put them together and it's no longer serious. *** Glad you like. However, I just found a book today that does sort of put the two together! It's called ''Saving Zasha''. It's about a boy named Mikhail who lives in Russia just after WWII and finds a German shepherd. Because these dogs are associated with Nazis, a lot of Russians want them dead, however, the war has caused dogs to be scarce in Russia. It has no medal on the cover and I haven't read the whole thing, so I don't know if Zasha dies or not. (Safe to say Mikhail won't since it's from his POV.) **** OK, read it. It won't be winning the Newbery. Sasha not only does not die, but she's going to have puppies that, according to the author's historical notes, will be instrumental in breeding the black Russian terrier. The dog thieves go to jail and, just to make it a mega-happy ending, Papa comes home from the war, battered but alive. ** Someone needs to write this book, just to subvert all of the really shitty books that have played this straight. Seriously, someone just has to make the YA section snap out of it.

DeathGlare * This troper warns others of incoming [[UnstoppableRage Unstoppable Rage]] through a [[DeathGlare Death Glare]]. It's very effective, possibly because she has striking, dark blue eyes and makes scary

[[SlasherSmile Slasher Smiles]]. Just today, some boys tried (and failed) to trip her in the hall... she kept walking forward but unwaveringly glared back at the boys. She opened her class's door so forcefully, it slammed against the wall. The boys looked a tad disturbed... [[ObfuscatingStupidity hm, why?]] * >:( * One of the most umcomfortable experiences this troper has had was when once, at a dojo, one of the younger black belts came to sparring practice without his gear. When one of the instructors called him on it, he gave an excuse, and the instructor just death glared him in total silence for something like thirty seconds. This troper wasn't even on the receiving end and she wanted the earth to open up under her. * Being the [[OnlySaneMan Only Sane Woman]] in my class full of morons, I get to practice them a lot. Particularly when I get asked an incredibly stupid question. It's fun to watch them recoil with an, "Oh shit" look on their face. * This troper has a look when neutral that is, if not a death glare, at the very least a bullet-to-the-foot leer. When I'm really mad... well, my mouth can't really smile or frown (except when laughing, but I can't smile consciously.), but it becomes even more of a flat, emotionless line, and then I have piercing, slightly squinty blue eyes. I always, always win staredowns with people. * This troper, while a fire chief, had to deal with a pre-teen who had intentionally set a snowmobile on fire. Said kid's parents were trying to excuse it as a simple childish accident gone awry. Having been in a really bad mood for assorted reasons, I didn't want to lose my temper, but apparently the death glare came out and, within minutes, the kid was crying and promising never to do anything like it again and the parents were working out a deal to pay the owner for damages. A local police officer present asked if I could be borrowed next time they had an interrogation. ** Isn't this [[strike: practically]] a CrowningMomentOfAwesome? ** An [[{{Darkbladedancer}} aspiring firefighter]] would like to meet you. Seriously. ** [[MemeticMutation You must teach me how.]] * This troper was once going to read a speech out for some friends. As she started the first line, one friend opened a can of soda with an especially loud ''crrrk!'' Apparently, not ''only'' did she unleash a truly horrifying DeathGlare, but turned her head around in an almost Exorcist-worthy fashion. * This troper, having a joking father, has used the DeathGlare too many times to count, and each time getting a comment about if her eyes were guns, he'd be dead. ** Same with this troper, but also goes for a joking brother and friends (along with the occasional annoying one). Her brother often does what he does for the evil glare. ** Are you me? [[AcrossTheStars This troper]]'s father has remarked that her glare could drop horses dead in their tracks. * This Troper once completely inadvertently gave one to a woman at one of my old retail jobs. It was a super stressful time at a job I was fed up with enough that I was only weeks away from handing in my

resignation. A woman walked in who loudly and very seriously announced that she was there to give us a problem, and launched into a tirade. Except after a couple of second of me looking at her she would stop or pause in the middle of sentences, and began nervously asking things like "You're not having a very good day, are you" and quickly moderated her tone. By the end of the interaction she was unconsciously flinching while I was very politely helping her. The fact that less than a week earlier I'd received a [[GoodScarsEvilScars large gash right below my eye and the stitches were still in might have helped...]]- [[Tropers/TheWanderer The Wanderer]] ** Whoa, If that is not a CrowningMomentOfAwesome I dont know ''what'' is! * [[{{Cosman246}} Do not ask stupid questions...]] * This Troper has, after significantly bad days, had his ''teachers'' back down from Death Glares when they try to get in to his business. * This troper, whom has a habit of wearing [[{{CatGirl}} Nekomimi ]][[{{CosplayOtakuGirl}} in public]], of course, deals with smart-ass comments and the like a lot, (although she gets her fair share of compliments as well.). Some days, this troper can tell who's going to laugh and the like and who isn't, but if she's not in a good mood, ''everyone'' gets the DeathGlare. [[strike:Hell hath no fury like a weeaboo in a bad mood.]] ** This troper once bought a cat collar, with a little bell on it, and came home wearing it. He got one of the biggest death stares in his life from his father. ** Son I Am Disappoint ** Hey, [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} someone else who]] wears this stuff in public! I wear wolf ears, a collar, and a tail pretty much ''everywhere,'' including school. I get [[{{DeathGlare}} death glares]] all the time! :D * This troper's friend has a death glare that works on everyone /but/ this troper, who has spent so much time making funny faces with her little brother that she has an immediate response to start making faces whenever said friend attempts the death glare. * This troper has almost a ''permanent'' death glare, especially when he is pissed. Which he is often. . ** This troper empathizes. Childhood depression in elementary school (yes, that young) left him with a permanent frown-shaped mouth (even when neutral emotionally), and he was born with sunken, "Benicio del Toro" eyes. Very often he merely looks bored or excessively tired, but he often gives death glares without meaning to. When asked by acquaintances how he accomplishes such an iconic stare, he replies, "I just tilt my head down and look out from under my eyebrows." Instant movie villain. On the bright side, I once used it on a canoe trip to scare off someone who interrupted my story by slapping me hard on my back and ribs at the same time. Pause. Glare. Glare. Glare. Person's smile slowly fades and he walks away sheepishly. Continue story. Instant {{Crowning Moment of Awesome}}. * While this troper is... well, ''way'' too shy to have a Death Glare, her father is a different story. His glare might not be that intimidating on its own, but he compounds it by talking in a very, very reasonable tone, and he does not back down until he gets what

he's looking for. Employees get their managers, managers sweat and become conciliatory. This troper really wishes she was more like him. * [[JapaneseTeeth This troper]] has an interesting story about one of these. During a class trip, his friend was messing around on the bus while another guy took a video. Later, when we were watching the video we noticed that he had accidentally bumped into one of the girls while messing around. We also noticed that she gave him the worst DeathGlare we had ever seen. When it came on the screen, we actually backed up about five feet from the computer because it was so scary. The "look of Death" became somewhat well known after that. * This troper has been cultivating a death glare to deal with the DOZENS of people trying to hand him leaflets on his way through downtown. Also, at work he's frequently asked whether he's pissed off or sleepy. Which is just confusing. * I have decided that I will give one of these when someone has done or said something too stupid to insult with words. I actually haven't had a chance to do it seriously yet. Often I end up doing a mock version of it and laugh during it. * This troper is usually cold and distant, yet keeps a helpful and polite demeanour. There have been exactly two times, however, when he has inadvertently and literally ''killed'' someone's joy just by looking at them, for no apparent reason (granted, this troper might have been in a bad mood at the time, but still...). They would be laughing or beaming with happiness, and then their eyes would meet this troper's. Their expressions would almost immediately turn into "Oh God, I think I died inside." faces. Needless to say, it filled this troper with soul-crushing guilt. * Once when this troper was but a wee little high school freshman on a "freshman firday," a group of juniors sat down at my lunch table (I had just moved there and thus didn't know anyone yet, although I don't usually make the attempt anyway) demanding that I let them "mark" me with the traditional magic marker "F." Now, I have been known to have a deep hatred of face-painting and other sort of body markings, so naturally I told them no. They insisted, saying it was a tradition, to which I replied it was also illegal without consent. About 15 seconds of a death stare eventually made them mutter "forget this kid" and leave. I call it a victory since when I was a junior freshman ''never'' got away with stuff like that * For this troper, it's a family joke. The "Go Die Now Look" is said to run in the family on the female side. Troper's mother uses it as a last resort in her job as a middle school teacher. * This troper ("Dialga") only uses it when arguing with his mother over schoolwork but it is accompanied with an oddly appropriate icy voice. * This troper's mother refuses to look at her in certain moods, and while young she would regularly beat her father in out-staring competitions because she would "put up a mirror, everything I push gets reflected back". * Touching [[{{Tsochar}} this troper]]'s D&D books without his permission will earn you this. * This troper, despite having the overall attitude of the helpful guy, has successfully stared down a particularly aggressive K9 at the

Sheriff's Department where he interned. * This troper has it as his default expression. It generally keeps lesser life forms (other people) away, the problem is, I don't know how to turn it off. It's gotten to the point where my college ID picture could very easily be cut out and turned into a mugshot. * This troper supplements his death glare with costume lenses. It even works without direct eye contact! * This troper is incapable of doing a death glare, but is more than capable of outstaring people who can. During a convention, this slightly addled cosplayer bumps into me at full force, causing me to stumble back. This guy was 6'2 at the very least, and was dressed up like Kamina. For reasons I will never comprehend, he decided that it was my fault for getting in his way, so he demands I apologize and gives me one of the most intense death glares I have ever seen. Seriously, some of the people who were watching practically ran away because it was just so scary. I just stood there with an amused grin on my face, calmly staring back at the guy. This lasted for a good three minutes before he gave up and walked away. After he left, I sighed in relief and continued on my way. * This troper uses this all the time when he goes grocery shopping, as he does so at a particularly infamously crime-ridden neighborhood and figures if he looks creepy enough, no one will bother him. ** This troper has used this for similar purposes. It served her quite well. * This troper's mother has all but perfected her stare, to the point that he and his brothers would refer to it as the Stare, with capitalization implied. We firmly believe that if she was angry enough, lasers would eventually fire out of her eyes and kill us instantly. * This troper's sister has said that their parents have glares that can make Chuck Norris cry. ** [[MemeticMutation Does that mean we get that cure for cancer?]] * This Troper has been on the receiving end of Death Glares on several occasions..which is a different problem. The best two came after: wearing a "Red Sox 2004 World Champions" t-shirt and hat in the middle of Penn Station, [[TooDumbToLive N]][[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Y]] in the middle of the day, and after making a drunk-but-deserved comment to a girl who he was formerly interested in dating. Of course he didn't back down, but he definitely felt the icy breath of the Reaper on his shoulder. Fun times for all! ** Sorry, I just had to tag NY for that story (I am a Sox fan). * ThisTroper (Draken) did this on accident to a photographer for his senior photos. The guy asked him to give the best serious look he can. So ThisTroper did. When the guy went to pick out the photo outta tha machine, the photographer AND his assisstant jumped back 6 feet. "Damn, kid, you look like you're about to kill us!" Best part? The photographer accidentally put that image on a RED background. ThisTroper still has the photo, and was disappointed when he couldn't put it as his picture in the yearbook. ** Then there was another incident. He was working for a movie theater a year later, waiting for a movie to finish so he and a coworker could clean, and the coworker asked if he could see what ThisTroper looked

like when he was angry. So he did. In the dark. Coworker nearly fainted. Had to sit down afterward. * This Troper has made people visibly uncomfortable when she turned her death glare on them. Strangely, my face, naturally stoic, doesn't really change. I express anger through my eyes. Then, there was a boy in my high school debate class. He had issues and often had a glare on his face. One day, I was talking to a classmate, and he looked over at us. Classmate, who was one of his best friends, was unaffected. I spent the rest of the year afraid of him. To his credit, he was more patient with me than some of the other classmates and actively worked at trying to convince me that he wasn't someone I needed to be afraid of. * This troper has had his Therapist ''talk'' to him about not distancing himself from other people with, quote, "That death look." Whoops... * This troper's mother has only ever struck her once, when she was twelve. Every other time before or since she didn't have to, because her glare can '''''solidify stomach acid'''''. * This troper is a little sensitive about her full name. Every other woman she meets has that name, including a few friends... so of course the occasional slip happens where someone accidentally calls her that. She has her friends well trained at this point. These days, they begin backpedalling ''before'' she gets to whip out the Death Glare. ** Is your name Rachel? I have that name, and I sympathize with you, even if you don't, because I know what it's like to be in a hall, hear your name called out half a dozen times, and never have the shouts addressed towards you. * [[{{WhiteArchmage}} This Troper]] has been trying to perfect his own Death Glare for years, however he seems to do it accidentaly most of the time. Once when a van honked at him (turned out to be one of my friends trying to catch my attention) he turned around and practically scared the shit out of them (Or so they said) and another during his entrance exam to the uni, scaring a girl going to his same career (though we're really good friends now) also seems to happen whenever he takes an official photo (exception being his voting credential, though that one has another mistake altogether). * I haven't pulled off Death Glares, but I do have an immunity to them. Even from parents. The grin/rolleye I pull off incences them further. ^_^ ** Haha, ditto. I can't pull off one of my own, but other people's own don't affect me in the least bit. "Staring at me isn't going to change anything." or "When did this turn into a staring contest?" just pisses them off more... :D * This troper generally stares down New York City cab drivers, while crossing the street, and when it's the cabbie's light. * This troper's brother's expressions are all some version of death glare, except his crazy-killer-clown smile. It doesn't help that his emaciated appearance and dark, sunken eyelids make him look like a crack addict. Actually he's a really nice guy. * This troper had finally, after the best part of a year worked up the courage to talk to the girl he likes, and right at the point where he was going to ask her out, one of his other friends who was at the same

place jumped into the conversation to ask about something trivial. The glare this troper gave that friend should have by rights left nothing but a scorsched silhoutte on the wall. * There's a dark grey, shaggy cat that this troper's neighbours own who, whenever he's out on their front lawn, will glare at anyone pulling into our driveway. Now I could just put this down to typical feline arrogance and that he's just glaring at the car; but I swear, when I pull in, he's not glaring at the car; he's glaring through the windscreen and right at ME. It's not an ordinary look to see what's happening; it's a full-on, narrowed-eyes, head-slightly-tilted-down, "how-DARE-you-do-that" DeathGlare. ** Now that this troper thinks about it though; it might be because he knows what's about to happen: our automatic garage door opening. That may not sound like much, but it hasn't been oiled in a while and when it opens; it opens with the screech of the damned. * This troper works in the retail business and is generally complimented on how nice and helpful he is. However, it appears I have a very potent Death Glare. It was late and a customer was being downright rude to another cashier, basically calling her stupid and laughing about it. He accidentally makes eye contact with me and I'm NOT happy at that point in time with him. He stops laughing and doesn't talk for the rest of the order. * This troper becomes extremely irritable around the holidays. I don't hate them, and I actually celebrate and take pride in choosing gifts for people. The irritable gets worse and worse as Christmas Day approaches, to the point where last-minute shopping is accomplished by dragging me to a store, and putting me in front with my DeathGlare to cut a path through the rest of panicked shoppers. * This troper, [[{{HypocriticalHumor}} although a]] PungeonMaster [[HypocriticalHumor herself]], will often combine the DeathGlare with her most deadpan expression when a friend of hers makes a particularly terrible pun. Especially effective if the pun maker in question is not in her line of view, in which case she can execute the slow turn of the head, completely serious expression, and a 500-megawatt DeathGlare. This is rarely intended to be serious, however, and more for comedic effect to show exactly how terrible the joke was. She can usually keep it up around seven seconds before both parties burst into laughter. * My 4th grade teacher had the closest thing to a death glare you will ever see. I hope, even if you are a murdrer, that you don't, because no one deserves to see it, heck not any 4th grader. It made one kid faint in front of the whole class when she gave him the stare because he got a wrong awnser. That kid is usually pretty solid, too. * [[{{Stoney}} This troper]] does this by accident, but can never do it intentionally. He instead just raises an eyebrow, which seems to intimidate people often enough. * Teaching runs in the female side of this troper's family. Pity him, therefore, when he makes an inappropriate remark at a family gettogether. Eight SIMULTANEOUS death-glares. O.O "I'll be good". * This Troper has one the can make her siblings cower. And her friends. Her father also has one of these supposedly. She has never noticed her father's and dosn't find her's that scary. Go figure.

* This troper's best death glare ever happened by accident. He had been waiting in a long line at the DMV to renew his license plates and the clerk, who had no way of knowing that the troper was recovering from a rather painful extraction of all four wisdom teeth (the painkillers, they do nothing!), cracked a joke in an attempt to cheer him up. Being utterly incapable of smiling at the time without serious pain, he just looked at the clerk and saw her face go from smiling to "oh my god, please don't kill me" in under a second. He did feel a bit bad since it was unintentional. * This troper has been accused of making Death Glares for no reason at people. He thinks this is because his eyes are so sensitive to bright light, making him alternatively squint or glare without even noticing. It gets troublesome when people get either angry or disturbed by his entirely unintended antics. * This troper has the tendency to give Death Glares to idiots. This thankfully (most of the time) results in them shutting up. * Kind of a subversion: [[GwenStacyWannabe I]] don't ''glare'', exactly, as much as just stare at people who are irritating me for long periods of time, without breaking eye contact. This makes them very uncomfortable and is actually quite fun. * I hug anyone who gives me a death glare. I can't help it. My brother would death-glare me anytime he needed a hug and it just... comes naturally? '''Subversion.''' * [[{{Gerusz}} This troper]] has the piercing ice-blue type eyes. Sometimes a simple look makes people around him subconsciously shiver. The fact that his eyes are deeply seated enough to be completely in shadow in natural lighting conditions (i.e. light from above) doesn't hurt at all. After he noticed it, he used this look on purpose, with great success. * According to friends, this troper has ''three'' types of death glares. One is dubbed the "L" glare because I take on the stance and the freaky wide-eyed look of the character, another is the "official" death glare that sometimes includes a disturbing eye twitch, and the third is apparently a simple narrowing of the eyes...but they said there's something about it that scares the hell out of them. * This troper's neutral face is a hairbreadth from being a death glare, thus making intentional death glares quite frightening. Well, he discovered at Halloween Horror Nights 2008 that makeup heavily amplifies the effect. After getting his face painted to resemble the Joker (Heath Ledger version), he could make people so scared by his appearance that they would refuse to even look at him. He, of course, took advantage of this and actually attempted to scare some people as the scareactors did. He even worked with the scareactors a few times, and three times had his picture taken with his victims. * This troper's been on the receiving end of a large-scale death glare. He plays in the pep band at school, and at one particular basketball game the opposing team's cheerleaders had the most obnoxious free-throw mess-up chant (it consisted of the entire squad stomping out a rhythm and chanting "Miss it, miss it!" in the most irritatingly shrill voices ever). Troper decided to tell the ''entire pep band'' to copy the chant for the next time the opposite team had a free throw. When said throw came around, cue a band of 40 people

standing up and copying the chant '''exactly'''. If the glare we got from those cheerleaders had been lasers, Troper was told later by his conductor, there would have been a 40-foot smoking crater on our end of the gym, with a few burned-up instruments scattered about. * People have fainted. Seriously. ''Groups'' of large men have jumped back and/or run away. This troper is 5'1" and wears pigtails. You do the math. * This troper is immune to "death glares", and doesn't see what the big deal is. * This troper fails miserably at death glares, however, she ''was'' in a production of Much Ado About Nothing once. The kid playing Don John was a charming and easygoing guy, with a death glare that made being onstage with him ''terrifying''. This troper was ALWAYS onstage with him. This guy made a little boy ''cry'' at a performance by glaring. Otherwise he's a pretty cool dude, though. * [[{{Pinkbaron}} This troper]] remembers having to read one of her original poems to her 8th grade English class. Just as she opened her mouth, a smartass nerd in the front row [[BerserkButton interrupted her.]] Cue [[TheExorcist Exorcist-]]style head turning, a Death Glare, and said nerd promptly shutting up. And all of this was ''videotaped.'' * This troper was able to drive people literally up the wall with her death glare. Granted, her death glare was not a few-second long event-it was typically a 45 min (or however long the class was) "I want you to drop dead" glare. * This troper had had a particularly bad day where she'd learnt a family secret and that everyone she knew had been lying to her for 2 years. She came in to school and when the Headteacher, who was also in on said secret, asked why she was late, she tried to smile crookedly before giving up and glaring "I learnt about something my Dad did." He froze and she ''turned her back on him'' to go to her classroom. Later on, when she entered the classroom (it was homeroom) all her classmates instantly backed up and began asking with mildly panicked expressions what they'd done wrong. * This here Troper has a stare that REALLY creeps out certain people. Combine Mr. Burns with Artemis Fowl.That's my stare. * I thought every mother had one of these. Mine has a particularly creepy one, because, due to her green eyes, you can ''see'' her pupils contract slightly. ** My eyes do that, too. It's pretty frightening, even to me. ** Obligatory aversion: This troper's mother does not have a DeathGlare. She's a good, kind person and that shows in her face, whether she likes it or not. She compensates with a sharp tongue when need be and can cause the same effects as a DeathGlare with speech or writing. * This troper does so unconsciously whenever he is being reprimaded, interrupted or basically anything that would cause temporary dislike within a person. He has apparently never been able to artificially recreate it in front of a mirror, but his parents have dubbed it his "serial killer look", a classmate once said that it was a look that could turn people to stone, and this troper knows of at least one teacher (and apparently there were others when I was younger) who

tried to get him labeled as a problem child based chiefly on this subconscious death glare. This troper tries his very best not to get very angry at people as a result. * This (19-year-old) troper has pretty much given up hope of inheriting his father's death glare, which has been known to cause flies to explode. * Not a typical death glare, this quiet troper is known for hers because it's so glaringly obvious to her friends that she means business when it comes out. When she gets angry, she goes past the petty violence stage and into real rage. She had one friend totally terrified of her for quite a while, because she was convinced she'd kill her in her sleep. * {{Excel-2009}}. A good way to make a kid sorry he bumped into you in a public area is to quickly move your head to about 5cm away from theirs with eyes wide open and an otherwise blank expression. Try not to blink or make any sounds for maximum effect. I could only get the kid to cry, but if anyone manages to do this and make them soil themselves, I will tattoo your name on my right arm. * MY name is CJ and I, although I'm a fragile 100 lb 4'9" girl in a wheelchair, once made one of my peers (a youmg man in 10th grade who has like a foot and probably 60lbs on me) piss his pants. I had been in classes with him and his group of idiotic friends for years. They did not bully me per say more like annoyed the hell out of me, starting anew each day. One day I had enough and glared from the corner of my eye at him for a few minutes, all while doing my work, before slowly (you could hear my neck popping) methodically turning my head so Icould fully glare at him all the while getting this Heath Ledger Joker-esque grin on my lips. He jumped and a big wet spot formed in his pants as we all saw this yellow liquid trinkle out of his seat and onto the carpet. Although he left me alone for a week or so, idiocy dies hard and soon he began annoying me again. * [[DesertDragon This troper's]] father seldom had to say DontMakeMeTakeMyBeltOff. He would just give you this look from over the top of his glasses that said you were five seconds away from getting a piece of his waistline. * This troper used to do this to bullying classmates back in gradeschool. The kids would say "Ooh,Edith's giving you the evil eye!" or"The Edith Eye!" I just condesed all my loathing and bitterness for them into my eyes and shot it like a laser into thier souls though their eyes. i got better--after i left that shithole. she did this to another guy in highscool after he had whipered a slur that shocked his bullying friends and the girl sitting beside him confirmed it with a numb nod.The look i gave them made his buddies cringe back and pale. he refused to look me in the eye. I restrained myself fantastically so. * Once at school, this troper was in a particularly bad mood, so when she heard some [[TheLibby Libbies]] talking about her during recess, she whipped out one of these. They ran away. * This troper has two different glares. One isn't really a glare, it's more of a "Surely you jest" look that I use whenever someone either says or does something stupid. The other I only use whenever someone mixes up my name with my brother's and it's more of a "Try again or I

will kill you where you stand" look. There was also this one time my freshman year when I was repeatedly being interrupted doing something (I think it was reading) by two girls. When one of them tapped me on the shoulder I snapped my head around and fixed them with a death glare, along with a loud "WHAT?" that made them jump back in their seats. ** My mother also has one, which she accompanies by baring her teeth. * I can't manage a death glare, but I do have one hell of a deadened, vacant stare, that can be easily combined with a deranged smile. If you want to avoid talking to someone, seriously, just slowly turn to face them with a giant SlasherSmile and glassy eyes. * This Troper has ADHD. Since my eyes are not always focused on say, the person I'm talking to, when I DO look at them it appears I'm staring right through them. This is completely unintentional and I have no want to kill anyone (yet). * This troper and a ladyfriend he was busy seducing shared the dreaded Simultaneous Two-Person DeathGlare at a friend of hers who decided it'd be a nice time to break up the little liaison-in-the-works. * This troper({{Dark Lady Celebrian}})'s guardian, Lightning, is a master of this. You can tell how angry she is by looking at her eyes and how much she's narrowed her angriest her eyes are basically just little slits. Lightning likes to brag about how you better run if her eyes start to narrow. There is a scene or two in her game where you can see her infamous narrow-eyed death glare as well, at its mildest. * This troper doesn't exactly have a death glare per se, considering the fact that I really don't know if it could be considered one at that. Actually there are two types of glares I am known for; the quizzical stare which I give when someone says something stupid and then there's the one where I have a psychotic/malicous light in my eyes as well as what could count as Technically a Smile. The latter one I have been giving off more and more which causes people to camly ask, "What the hell are you thinking and why should I not be worried at all?" * This troper has spent a large amount of time in JROTC and can tell you from having been on the business end of like 15 of these, that anyone in the military and JROTC who is in any position of power has developed a death stare capable of inducing a moderate form of paralysis in lower ranking soldiers/cadets. When I was still in the program, our SAI had one that made a car thief from TEXAS stop in his tracks and make a strange noise not unlike a dying cat. I even perfected one, which while not too potent is enough to scare the shit out of anyone who does not know him. (Works better if you are carrying a blunt object.) * This troper has sent complete strangers gibbering in asking for forgiveness with their Death Stare. * This troper really, really likes giving people death glares. When I'm bored, I look around for anyone staring in my general direction to glare down. It seems to work subconsciously, so the victims often end up looking terrified with no idea what just happened. I once gave a camera a death glare when my picture was being taken, and upon getting the picture back, recoiled in fear from being stared down by

''myself''. I also made an eyeball pin, and wear it on a daily basis, just so I can have three eyes to give people the death glare with (and if my actual eyes are busy, there's still one unblinking eye there to stare down anyone). And it works. * This troper was once being nagged about some inane thing by the stupidest teacher she has probably ever met, and while trying to assume a nonchalant look on the outside, imagined that her eyes were lasers, boring through the woman's head. The teacher actually turned around and asked her to stop, please. * Though not really a glare, this troper has been known to give a look that has frightened several friends and family members. And apparently this look is somewhat genetic because several women on my Mum's side have a death glare like this, too. * This Troper has very pale blue eyes. This seems to come in handy when she wants to perform an effective DeathGlare. Once, a particular classmate was being extremely irritating. My response was just to sit there, looking at her, for as long as I could without blinking. After about ten seconds of this, she was whimpering and hiding behind other students' desks. This incident was immensely satisfying. * This Troper isn't all that intimidating to first look at. I'm scrawny, pale, pretty much a wimp. I have a sharp tongue, but you wouldn't know it from looking at me. Well, I realized that I even HAD a death glare just this summer, during a festival. I was walking around with my friend, who mentioned that her ex-boyfriend might be walking around near us. I absolutely HATE her ex. And she knows it. I hated him from the first moment I met him. And the dislike was mutual, since he constantly threw insults at me. (Insults so vulgar, I wouldn't dare post them here.) However, my friend was still friends with her ex's sister. Eventually, we did run into him there, and since his sister was with them, she mostly ignored him and talked to his sister. I immediately recognized the situation and fixed him with a single, lingering glare that pretty much said "I still hate every last ounce of you." Cue to him excusing himself to go get a drink...and not coming back until I'd left. * This troper sadly slips into this often without noticing (parents never bothered correcting it) and has earned a lot of enemies this way despite being a [[NiceGuy ridiculously nice girl]](possibly to make up for all the death glaring? * So there's this girl at [[CaptHayfever my]] university who lives in the same building as me. I once unsuccessfully asked her out, but we remained friends. The rest of her GirlPosse, however, intensely distrusts me for no adequately explored reason & greets me with Death Glares whenever I encounter any of them. Normally I can shrug off things like that, but the frequency of triple-glares makes my friend totally unapproachable unless they aren't around. * DEFCON 1: At Sea Cadets Boot Camp, I was protesting to my company officer (he was present at the company commander, assistant company commander, and master-at-arms were somewhere else) about the behavior of my shipmate. What happen next was that he stormed over to me, stared me directly in the face (you know how it goes in the movies), and asked me if I was his drinking buddy. I said no. He said that, as

an officer, he demands to be treated with respect. I got my company extra PT (after another tongue-lashing from the boot camp coordinator, who basically said the same thing as the officer, except the ACC, CC, and MMA were present and we were at GQ). For the life of me, I doesn't remember saying anything offensive - I'm pretty sure the officer misheard me, probably thinking I said his first name or something or other, or maybe my choice of words (the entirety of which, I only remember saying "But-!" in an annoyed tone. Hmm.) * [[CorporealWolf This Troper]] supposedly has one. BlindingBangs, {{Evil Eye}}s and a nice SlasherSmile mix well. Strabismus causing my bangs to not affect my eyesight noticeably helps. * Mild example. [[{{Vendetta}} This troper]] has frightened children away with these while in a bad mood. * This troper's grandfather has what is not so much a DeathGlare as a "YouWouldntLikeMeWhenImAngry Look", peering sternly over the tops of his glasses. When we were younger, all of us kids were terrified of it. However, once we were old enough to wear glasses (everyone in my family starts needing glasses by the age of eight or twelve), we began imitating it, to the point of having DeathGlare Contests with [[BadassGrandpa Grandpa]], the winner being the one who managed to keep from laughing longest. [[TheStoic Grandpa]] always won. * Apparently [[{{MiraShio}} my]] DeathGlare is both menacing and adorable. * As told by [[{{Miso}} This Troper]] in the BigLippedAlligatorMoment troper tales page, her guitar teacher started randomly singing the 'One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other Thing' song from SesameStreet. Troper only shut him up using one of these, and the moment [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment has not been spoken of since.]] She also loves doing this to little kids to intentionally scare the fuck out of them. [[ChildHater It's]] [[NightmareFuelStationAttendant unbelievably fun.]] * This troper was once on the receiving end of a terrifying Death Glare at the hands (eyes?) of an otherwise [[NiceGuy kind, sweet girl]] who happens to hate him (or at least, did at the time). The Death Glare was prompted by a comment that was intended in a friendly, joking manner ("Oh, because ''Julianne'' moved it..."). The incident has since become famous among this troper's friends because of the [[OhCrap sheer terror]] it induced in him, how it highlights the girl's intense dislike of him, and how ''nice'' she is otherwise. * This troper's death glare apparently runs in the family. He can get just about anyone to back down, and strangely never gets the pitches about 'extended warranties'. His father has an equal glare, compounded by the fact that he's 6' 5" and built like a truck. Muggers would probably whimper an apology and walk away slowly. * This troper has a particularly funny one, or at least it's hilarious to the victim. It's so degrading. * Once this troper was walking through town and came across some idiot who was "busking" I put that in speech marks because all that he was doing was standing around shouting insulting things at people walking by (he still had a hat out for money for some reason). When I approached he started to sing at me (if you can call it that) "you're a dodgy bastard, you're a dodgy bastard!" I was tired and gave him a

death glare that immediately made him shut the hell up (perhaps that was because when I looked I imagined myself side kicking him in the face) and he stayed very, very quite for along time afterward, once I walked past I muttered under my breath "good for me." * I was just finishing up in the toilet when I heard a knock at the door. Quickly, I went to open it to see a [[BritishPoliticalSystem Labour Party]] canvasser. I do NOT like politicians. I didn't appreciate hurrying just so I can be greeted by this slick, friendly public face of a backstabbing powermonger. And I DEFINITELY didn't want to answer the door with my belt undone. Just as he started into his spiel, "Hi, I'm from the-" Glare. Slow shake of head. His winning smile slipped. "Did- did I disturb you?" Glare. "Um... uh... Sorry. Bye!" The funny part? I hadn't registered, so I couldn't have voted anyway. * {{Fishsicles}} here has a rather nasty one when provoked. [[MostAnnoyingSound Anything that beeps or rings]] is the traditional target (RingRingCRUNCH is a tad uncivilized), but it has been used on people in the past. [[{{Emoticon}} <,<]]. Considering my [[TheStoic normal]] [[MagnificentBastard demeanor]], and the fact that I accompany it with a variation of [[NeonGenesisEvangelion the Gendo pose]], I can understand why it frightens smal children. All I want to do now is figure out how to [[ScaryShinyGlasses make my glasses into a 128-alpha one-way mirror]]. * While watching his wedding video with the new wife and mother in law, I started giving it the MST3K Treatment. Dual Death Glares, to be sure. * I delivered a rather powerful death glare to a couple of my cousins at a recent family gathering after they wound up bouncing a big rubber ball right into my face, which then smacked my open laptop (mercifully unharmed). They got out an 'ohhhh... sorry' with wide eyes. I keep glaring and they ran up the stairs and I didn't see them again the whole time I was there. * This troper has one, and unleashes it when he [[TheDeterminator hits]] [[SuperpoweredEvilSide his]] [[TheStoic limit]], but his has NOTHING on a girl he knew from middle school, all the way through to graduation, who had a DeathGlare To End All Death Glares. When I'm not trying to kill people, I'm actually [[GeniusDitz very]] [[BoisterousBruiser entertaining]], but I'm not exactly... [[TooDumbToLive smart]], or [[ChivalrousPervert subtle]]. So naturally whenever I began with my usual schtick, I would of course say something mildly offensive around her and out come the claws. Oh, and this girl? [[TheOjou Tall, blonde, blue-eyed ballet dancer/violinist.]] ... Hey, I aim '''high'''. * During high school, this troper was once made a target of a game the jocks occasionally play to "celebrate one's birthday", essentially singing you a birthday song while they take a couple of cheap shots with their fists using a numerical advantage to make sure you can't properly retaliate (the fact that it was hardly ever the target's birthday didn't seem to bother them). For whatever reasons, I was in a fairly confrontational mood at the time, and rather then running away like most people targeted, I got up, slammed my fists toghether, switched to fighting stance, and put on an expression suggesting I was

getting ready to rip their thorats open with my bear hands (being rather tall, fit, and unshaved for a nerd helped). The next time I was targeted for that particular annoyance, I put on the same expression, and the initiating jock couldn't actually get anyone in the room to join him, allowing me to use him to practice a rather nasty choke hold. Since then, I began taking martial arts lessons (some of which just so happen to take place in a square at the center of town in plain view), and now many of them are afraid to do as much as look at me funny. * This Troper managed to look like someone just about standing up and killing everyone on the class photographs for the last four years of school. She manages to shut up every single student at her school, starting from the scary nerds up to the super cool footballer by one look which lead some guys to call her [[TheRing Samara]]. She admits, though, that she practiced the glare for three or four months in front of the mirror. But therefore it works perfectly. Especially if she looks at you under your pony. * This troper likes to greet his friends with these. Usually accompanied with a pointing finger and a growl of "YOU." * [[{{Kulboroa}} This Troper]] has often been told that his eyes seem to go from blue to black when he is angry; and has often been told "That look could kill." Although it has an amost 100% sucess rate in getting people to shut up, I can only do it when angry and never intentionally * This troper, due to being exactly the opposite of obese, combined with naturally sunken eyes, can achieve a death glare that actually made one of my classmates lose control of his bodily functions. I wasn't even trying. ** I also used it on a co-worker who was being a jerkass. Combined with a precision F strike, he suddenly switched to happy and cheerful and nice to the point where it started to be creepy. Fortunately (or not) this effect wore off overnight. I'm considering doing it again next time. * [[{{MidnightVelvet}} This Troper]]'s neutral expression ''is'' a death glare (considering his crazy eyes and inability to smile or frown), but it is especially prominent when he's pissed off to a considerable degree. Considering his "surrounded by idiots" mentality (which ''is'' partially justified), this is fairly often. * This troper loathes it when people steal her hats, and when a (doomed) young man innocently decided that a great way to get her attention was to do just that and then run away, laughing, she decided to get into a habit of practicing a through-the-eyebrows [[DeathGlare Death Glare]]/[[SlasherSmile Slasher Smile]] combo in the bathroom mirror every morning. She perfected it. Nowadays, no one takes her hat after just one time on the receiving end. * This troper is infamous for them, and once made someone fall over backwards with one. I'm deadly serious. * This teenage troper dislikes going out. It's aggravating enough to have to go to a therapist every other week even though she said this troper might not need it anymore (it's required to get her ADHD meds), but if her ditzy mother winds up taking her on the wrong day/at the wrong time (it's happened) and the therapist can't just see us then

(again, it's happened), this troper will turn her head Exorcist-style and give her mother one of these looks. She's also developing a habit of giving her mother one of these every time her mother interrupts her while she's talking (which happens a ''lot'') * When this troper gets in an ill mood, he gets a DeathGlare. It really pisses his mum off when she's on the receiving end. Also, I once did it to a customer who lost his temper at me. he told me "If you glare at me again, You'll regret it." I told him if he threatened me again, I'd call the cops. * This troper has a permanent DeathGlare regardless of her mood (she's usually pretty happy or at least neutral). She really, really, ''really'' does not want it and is trying to offset it with haircuts and makeup. * I'm the kind of people to avoid eye contact... usually. When I'm annoyed, sad, or plain angry, I'll be constantly using DeathGlares to make the people in front of me back off, often with successful results. As an example, I spend around 6 hours in a day helping someone moving house - carrying heavy things, and just at the end, a heavy box falls... Lucky as I always am, it falls on my foot. And I see my stepbrother howling in laughter. I slowly face him and glare him to death while saying calmly "Is there something funny or are you just laughing to yourself ?" He answered "I was laughing to myself, of course... !" in a very nervous voice. Of course, I'm a TechnicalPacifist who (almost) never loses his cool, but he didn't know that ! ** Another example. I was in vacation at my father's house, and was going to return to my mother's next day. Then my step-cousin arrives and tells me "So you're leaving tomorrow, heh ?" I simply answer "Yes." in a tone that means "what about it ?" and look into her eyes intensely. She simply laughs nervously and exits the room quickly. Yeah, I do those quite often ** [[tropers/Mousy677 This troper's]] way of telling people that she's pissed with them [[UnstoppableRage (unless she's really, amazingly, murderously pissed)]] is to stare, unblinkingly at them. I can keep this up for up to ten minutes, and, even if that person looks down, I keep it up so that when they look up again, there's a creepy girl about a foot taller than them (short year, huge me) wearing a [[BadassLongcoat black trenchcoat]] staring unblinkingly at them. It has actually caused... let's see now... seven people to run away from me. Hah. * This Troper is a nice, shy girl who rarely is seen pissed off.But try.The strongest mind of my family, my uncle, froze in fear, and after that he always says that "the girl was possessed". * This Troper is incapable of performing her Death Glare on cue. However, she does have a look of evil for said circumstances, which basically implies that the victim is reaching a level of unprecedented stupidity. Her actual Death Glare is... well, my family members are immune to it, apparently, and they're really the only people that tick me off to the extent that I end up using it. So I don't know if it's terrifying or not. * This troper has studied animals, under the belief that humans are just as animal as they. Monkeys don't smile, they just show their

teeth. It's a "go away now or I'll hurt you" look. So my Death Glare is raising my eyebrows slightly to show a little white above my eye, and smiling without moving any muscles other then my mouth. What people end up seeing is someone smiling at them. But what their brain is seeing is, "HOLYSHITHESGONNAEATUSRUNRUNNOW!" It doubly helps that I'm normally a very polite but reserved person. * This 13 year-old Troper practiced the Death Glare as a child. After trying to figure out the best way to add a bit of flair to hers, she thought she could contract her pupils. Her default face is always semi-lidded, pupils enlarged to almost cover the iris, to convey that [[DeathNote L-esque]] look in her eyes. The fact that her eye colour is almost inderterminable (it really depends on the lighting, but they tend to look like light shades of blue, grey, or green) adds to the effect. Once she puts on the Death Glare, the light hits her pupils like a ton of bricks, and they shrink dramatically. The [[FourEyesZeroSoul Glasses]] definitely help out a bit. She has used this glare to its full effect, and shows no signs of stopping. A [[CreepyChild child]] staring at you with such intense hatred, added effect of [[ScaryShinyGlasses Scary Shiny Glasses]], plus not being able to accurately describe them? * This troper's friends now joke that her Death Glare can kill people. Also, people complain that I am "shredding their soul" with my eyes. Compounded by the fact that if I can't keep a straight face I give a Slasher Smile. Also, TT's eyes are either yellow-amber or green so they glow if sunlight hits them and you can see the pupils contract. I have had peoeple run away. Let's also mention that I am small, delicate looking girl and look very sweet and cute, so the Glare of Death takes people by surprise. * This Troper is a really nice person... but I can give a DeathGlare like no one else. I have a 6'2" male friend who is a black belt in karate and jujitsu, and I can make him cower. It helps that mom is a teacher, dad is a soldier, and I'm the oldest of four. ^_^ * When agitated, this troper (Thexare) can have a very effective Death Glare. Not only has it, without fail, gotten a four year old cousin to stop misbehaving, it has worked on a young screaming child he has never seen before (somewhere in the 2-3 year old range) - the kid was dead silent for the next fifteen minutes. Sadly, it's not very reliable, and it doesn't work on adults very often. * This troper, like many on this page, can't do a [[DeathGlare Death Glare]] on cue. I tend to be the quiet person in the back of the room that just wants to be left alone. So one day during my senior year in high school I'm in my English class (which I hated with a passion) and I go up to the front of the room to make a presentation for something, when this kid that sat in the front of the class who I barely knew, cheered out encouragement to me in a kind of annoying manner. I was apparently in a bad mood that day, because I shot him a glare that made him recoil and shut up. As I was walking back to my seat when I was finished with my presentation, I heard him mutter to the person next to him "She stared into my soul man...". I was more proud of getting that reaction out of him than getting through my presentation. * This troper has always been a quieter, more stoic kid. I've never felt particularly angry or anything like that, but ever since third

grade, people have been asking me if something's wrong, because I look like I'm "about to kill someone". * I was once in an improv class when somebody made a reference to Monty Python, and a classmate said they'd never heard of it. Do you know anyone whose DeathGlare has caused about half an improv class to approach him as if he were about to eat a classmate's liver? Other than me, of course. (In truth, I wasn't feeling murderous, just incredulous. Honestly, who the hell signs up for a comedy class without having heard of the classics?) * My BFF can do a quite effective DeathGlare, and it works best when she's tired. But if she's tired, she's not even aware that she's doing it half the time. One time when were 11, and we'd stayed up all night, we were staring at this teen boys who were acting like idiots. They looked up. They saw me. They saw my BFF. They shut up instantly. * Whenever this troper is thinking of something is (in his mind) serious, such as the climax of a plotline in one of his fanfics, he unconsciously adopts this look. I actually had a girl walk up to me and ask me what I was angry about (at the time I was planning out a battle close to the end of a ''{{Pokemon}}'' story I'm writing, where the protagonist is battling Cynthia.) * Some of my favorite moments in life has been seeing people do what they assume is a 'death glare' and laughing directly in their face. Almost no one can pull this off, but 99% of people think they can. So... uh, this would be a subversion? Although, some people can do it as very specific moments when they're dangerous. My dad once did this in the dark. Only one, but he gets points for doing it with almost zero lighting. I think the biggest part of the death glare is the circumstances in which it is given. * This troper cannot do the glare on cue. But she, as well as her mother and brother, has a very effective glare when she's pissed. Someone directly pointed out that I have what she refered to as the "Family Glare" (well, substitute the word family for this Troper's last name.) I insisted I didn't know what she was talking about, but she kept pestering me about it and I got kind of mad... At which point she yelled "Aaaah, there it is!" And afterwards immediately clammed up. * This lil' troper is usually fun and bubbly, but when mad is extremely quiet. Death Glares from this 15 year old troper have been known to freeze three full grown Seniors looking for trouble in their tracks. The addition of a raised eyebrow had them hightailing it out of there. * I've been told I have a Death Glare. At my last regular job, any time a certain bigwig was scheduled to show, I was told to take a day off because after the DG I gave him at our first encounter, they were afraid I would haul off and deck him. (He shouldn't have called me "sweetie". Especially not in THAT tone of voice.) On another occassion, I was walking home from work after a Bad Day. It was drizzling and cold, and I was aching all over, and I was close to the end of a three mile walk. Cue the drunk fratboy types, who start to laugh and head toward me. I don't stop walking, but my hand clenches around my walking stick (5+ feet of rock maple) and I slowly lift my head and LOOK at them. They freeze, and one of them says, "Holy shit,

she's gonna kick our ass!" They take off in another direction at speed, and I smile all the way home. * The most effective DeathGlare [[Tropers/SabresEdge this troper]] has ever felt the effects of was from his 11th-grade AP English teacher. It wasn't so much an angry, I'll-kick-your-ass glare as a level, unamused stare that had the side effect of making the target's soul wither and die inside of them. * This troper is quite TheStoic, and his DeathGlare is thus as dispassionate as a DeathGlare can be. When he doesn't want to be bothered, for any reason, he will simply look at those who bother him/stand in his way/hurt him with an empty, cold and bored look (picture yourself Ulquiorra from {{Bleach}}) that means ''"You're not even worth to face my wrath... but don't push it."'' It works... pretty well, to say the least. * [[{{Tropers/Ekuran}} This Troper]] does this unintentionally. People can't stand eye contact with me for more than a few seconds, as they usually tell me in some manner that I give the 'Gonna kill you and enjoy it' look. I've tried making it less so, since it's kind of shitty for picking up girls...and having any conversation for that matter. * This troper can only do a decent one when she's in the grip of TranquilFury. If she tries at any other time, she just manages to look like she either has a migraine or is smelling something she doesn't like. * This troper's brother has a middle school teacher who is immortal for his death glares. If a student misbehaves, he spends the remainder of the class staring murderously, probably unblinkingly, at him or her, even at the expense of writing on the board turned away from it. * I'm not sure if cats have any other way of looking but the death glare. Sure, they might hesitate while you're awake and have access to weapons, but they'll give you the look anyway and bide their time. Then one night, you wake up to her staring at your neck, stalking at your artery, and you can't be sure that if you hadn't woken up she wouldn't have torn your neck apart like the exceptionally expensive furniture you bought because you thought the toys would distract her enough so she wouldn't scratch the furniture. You were wrong in the latter case, how can you be sure about this one? Once she realises you've woken up, she'll give you the ''look'' again. Perpetually. Until she finally succeeds. Evil bastard. ** I suppose this was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, because otherwise you appear to be not only paranoid as hell but also afraid of animals that are genuinely harmless (assuming your cat isn't psychotically agressive). The reason cats appear to give humans Death Glares is because ''[[StarfishLanguage that is the way they always look at things]]'' -- including you. If they're also opening and closing their eyes slowly when they look at you like that they are actually telling you '''they love you'''. * This troper ([[Tropers/{{Seiryu}}]] Seiryu]]) ''can'' do the death glare on demand, but I chose not to. I think of it as the facial expression of a PrecisionFStrike; when it's used, people take it seriously. It helps that I have pretty good vocal control, and know several lines that can seriously help accent the glare. Namely,

[[{{Firefly}} "Is that the direction you want this conversation to go?"]] * [[{{MegaSpiderMan}} This Troper]] has found that he has a VERY intimidating mess-with-me-and-I'll-hit-you look. I just haven't found the time and place to actually use it effictively. * [[{{Crusador}} This Troper]] believes that he inherits this little trope from my mother's side of the family. My mother and a few of her siblings already possess a commanding presence of authority. Especially my mom, since she has very short fuse. As for me? I'm not like her; I can get frustrated at times, but never angry. Enough provocation, however, and I seem to play this trope straight. For example, I know a former "acquaintance" of mine who at first, was quite [[BitchInSheepsClothing amiable has turned out to be quite a dick]]. Normally, I would not be too bothered by misanthropic tendencies and eventually move on with life like I never met the guy in the first place. Not so in this guy's case; You see, we're both students at our college, have similar majors, and use mostly the same facilities, so I am bound to see him frequently, with the biggest difference being that I do not live in the school's dorms, but in an apartment JUST outside of the school. I did nothing to earn this guy's disdain, but for whatever reason, he decides to make me his verbal punching bag, try to turn friends we both have in common against me, and muscle me out of facilities (Especially the public game room in the dorms that is open to ALL students, dorm residents or no) that he feels entitled to use instead of a non-resident who is "mooching". I could only deal with his antics for so long before tiring of it and very kindly telling him that I've enough, using both this trope, and the [[ReasonYouSuckSpeech Reason You Suck Speech]]. Now mind you, he's taller than me and appears to be more built, but even without seeing his strength, I know that he is only a [[SmugSnake coward holding up a self-righteous and haughty facade]]. As for me? I'm an unassuming 5'7 with no real background in Martial Arts training, but I have the build and temperament to handle an actual fight, and knowledge in both techniques and areas where to apply force on the human body. In spite of all this, and me very clearly establishing that it is in his best interest to not [[BewareTheNiceOnes provoke me]], he still continues to be a self-entitled douchebag, only this time continuing his acts if he could very easily get away with it and has something to gain from it all. [[BullyingADragon He still is pushing his luck though.]], as I have hinted to him that I've had ALOT of opportunities to hurt him both verbally and physically, and came close on multiple occasions. * This troper knew a guy who *could* do it on cue. I'd walk up with a cheerful smile and say something like, "Good morning! Disapproving Glare!!!" and he'd pin me with a death glare, no matter what mood he was in. I'd still be intimidated even though I knew he was doing it on cue. Bonus intimidation if I actually was interrupting whatever he was doing. Though sometimes he couldn't maintain it for more than a few seconds as we'd both dissolve into laughter. * This she-Troper apparently fails at pulling these off, although there are different names for them. Heard a DeathGlare be called "Crusties"...although said she-Troper prefers "pulling a Medusa." * This new Troper just got to be known for the sole purpose of sharing

his one single "true" Deathglare, the certified version: It was classes (German) and some schoolmate was making fun of how I would totally love to to this particular task (which I wasn't reluctant to do in general, just that guy was annoying me to hell and beyond that time). When our teacher (an otherwise great one and up to date still one of the few teachers I genuine like) picked right on that one, the deed happened. To picture it: I was sitting at the long side of the room, vertically from the teachers point of view, having my gaze (tried Deathglare!) focused on said schoolmate. My head was resting in my palm, whose rest of the arm again was resting with the elbow on the table, effectively almost sealing my face from my teachers sight with only the glimps of my eyes being visible to him. The gaze itself was already enough to unease said schoolmate, but when the teacher came with: "Ja, eine nette Idee. Was halten sie davon uns dies einmal vorzuführen Herr Jakob? / Yes, a nice idea. What do think about showing us Mr. Jakob?". I simply turned my gaze from the schoolmate towards the teacher, practically "overturning" them to look in his eyes with the feeling of "Not you too" and was somewhat surprised for my teacher backing down and even telling "Whoa, habt ihr diesen Blick gesehen? Purer Hass sage ich euch, purer Hass! / Whoa, did you see that look? Pure hatred I tell you, pure hatred!" Ironically, we became to understand us better since that moment. * This troper does this unintentionally. She rarely shows emotion, and is sleep-deprived, so her eyes are half lidded almost all the time. She has often caused people to back away slightly by unintentionally glaring at them. Ironically, this troper is very shy, a bookworm, and very nice once she gets over her shyness. * This troper, when in a particularly bad mood, can create these easily. Sadly, by this point, he is usually considering murder, so training himself to do these normally would be impractical, as my friends would have to make me want to kill them and take a picture of my face just so I could practice, but I'd probably be too angry to sit still long enough for them to take said picture. * [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} This Troper's]] friend does this to people all the time. Problem is, this friend is easily offended, so I can never tell whether she's actually mad or not. :| * This Troper has incredibly dark brown eyes that are unnervingly shiny and terrifying at the right angles. For example, if I look down with my face then look up with my eyes, I look like I've been possessed by the devil. I've terrified many a friend this way, and can't even look at one of them properly anymore without her accusing me of giving her the death glare. * This troper has both a very heavy brow AND natural villian eyebrows, the combination of which has given him the ability to perform a death glare so effectively chilling that he's become rather renowned for it. Unaware peers have gone up to him and requested it, and promptly turned around and walked away, heavily shaken, never to ask for it (or provoke it) ever again. * This troper has two adorable little bunny rabbits. She also has a cat. The rabbits are kept separate from the cat, because she tries to chase them. One day while the bunnies were being fed, the cat went

into the room, hopped into the pen containing the larger of the two, and went to hide in a basket we put in there for him to use as a makeshift burrow. He stopped what he was doing (which was eating), turned around, flattened his ears, narrowed his eyes, and GLARED. She quietly got up, hopped out of the pen, and left the room. * This troper is a non-commissioned officer in the US Army. I'm not very intimidating at all, and I almost always have a smile on face. My soldiers long ago learned that if they do something that causes me to lose that smile, my death glare will mealt their souls. * Whenever this troper is pissed of, I give people(mom, friends, etc) a death glare. I'm quite famous for it actually. * This troper is know to be somewhat of a sore looser so naturally when a friend started acting all smug during a three way {{Magic The Gathering}} game she became a [[{{Understatement}} little]] ticked off and produced what her friends described as the most frightening death glare they had ever seen. They were both rather wary of sleeping in the same tent that night... It becomes rather funny when one considers this troper is barely 5'2" and both my friends are around 5'8" =D. * [[Tropers/OriginalHobbit I]] am a DeathGlare expert. Often times all I have to do to get people to listen to me is give them a serious DeathGlare. I've even had most of my friends tell me not to give them "the look" because it makes them feel guilty or scared. I'm thinking of even testing it over the phone, to see if people can tell I'm doing it. * This troper has a real death glare all the time, when relaxed, when happy, when joking, a friend of mine is constantly telling me "god you look like youre gonna kill someone", and then when the real death glare comes out, people start running away. * This troper is immune to them for the most part. Mainly because he's able to read the mood of the situation and is a problem solver. If the death glare is because I told a joke I'll just [[RefugeInAudacity shrug and grin, inordinately pleased with myself]], if it's because the situation is serious I'll just tell them to [[QuitYourWhining snap out of it]] [[RousingSpeech and help me]] [[DareToBeBadass fix the damn mess]]. * This troper's mother has a withering death glare developed over twenty years of teaching. His older sister agrees that the "Look", as they call it, is still terrifying after all these years. For the record, this troper and his sister are 22 and 32 years old, respectively. * At my college Wind Ensemble concert, during the Battle Hymn Republic, our snare drum player forgot that the conductor adding in triplets a measure earlier than they were supposed to appear, so I was the only one playing them (on timpani). The snare player then tried to catch up and rushed her triplets, which messed me up too. The conductor shot the snare player a horrifying DeathGlare. * This tropette usually gets what she wants via CutenessProximity. She uses a PsychoticSmirk if she wants to make someone nervous (Both are usually directed at her [[MasterOfTheMixedMessage long-suffering]] [[UnderstandingBoyfriend boyfriend]]). The last time she remembers genuinely remembers DeathGlaring at someone was in a study hall in the beginning of her sophomore year of high-school. She was talking with

said boyfriend about some of her favorite fantastic creatures and legends. Among them, [[OurBansheesAreLouder banshees]]. The minute the word "Irish" left this 5'3" and [[FieryRedhead very, very ginger]] tropette's mouth, some idiots in one back corner of the classroom started laughing about, and asking if I was, a leprechaun (This joke has been directed at her quite often. These boys just had the pleasure of using them on the [[UnderStatement wrong day]]). I replied with a rather icy, "No, actually, we're talking about banshees, which are a bit different." One boy remarks that they can't be different since everyone in Ireland is a leprechaun. I stiffen, [[GenreSavvy my boyfriend has started silently praying for death]] and I turn to the boys with an absolutely scorching DeathGlare, very quietly explaining exactly what a banshee is, and what they do... with some [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel embellishments]] [[ArtisticLicense added for flavor]]. The leprechaun jokes stopped. Immediately. ---Go. Back. To. [[DeathGlare Death. Glare.]] '''NOW.''' ----

DecemberDecemberRomance * Parodied, somehow, in real life. My mom's "great uncle" Jackande my father's mother were talking at a family meeting. The exchange seemed like a married couple already, so my mother/father/sister and I think that it's a December December Romance. --> '''Jack''': So how old are you? 93? --> '''Grandma''': Well that's not very polite! --> '''Jack''': Could be worse. I would've said 94! * Not something that happened to me personally, but in one of my playthroughs of [[ Alter Ego]]. I made a number of attempts at romance, but pretty much everyone I met was a cheating whore. Eventually, I got fed up with this and just gave up trying to find someone... until old age, when I figured I'd give it one more shot. The woman I met was a widow, which I suppose is to be expected for someone of that age who's available. She had a fun personality, and eventually I decided to propose to her. To my great relief, she accepted. However, before we got to planning the wedding, my doctor told me that I had certain troubling medical issues that would be best addressed by surgery. The moment after I clicked the button to go through with the surgery, I died of complications on the operating table. I was immediately confronted with the tragedy of a man who found love after decades of fruitless searching, and a woman who found love after, I think, having lost hope of ever having it again, only for this love to be destroyed the very next instant. * When my grandma was younger, she was in love with a young man, but he happened to be of a different denomination than her (she was strictly Catholic), so their families opposed their relationship. She was sent away to school, and the nuns held back the letters that he sent her. So, they had to forget each other; she met and married my grandpa, and her former lover married as well, and they didn't hear

any more from each other for decades. Then, my grandpa died of cancer at a relatively young age. When my grandma was old, her former lover reconnected with her; they rekindled their relationship and got married, and he became part of the family, becoming like a second grandpa to her grandchildren (as many of us grandkids didn't get to meet our biological grandfather). Tragically, he died not too long afterwards of cancer. :( Such a sad story, as he was a lovely man, and they were really happy together. Strange how life can resemble fiction at times. * My biological grandfather and my step-gradmother met at a hospital (they were both in their 50s) where both of their spouses died of cancer. They started dating after a while, and eventually married. Since I never knew my biological grandmother, it took me a while to realize that my step-grandmother was, well, my step-grandmother. And I wouldn't want it any other way. ----

DeceptivelySillyTitle * This troper worked on a play titled "Everybody Poops But You". It was about a robot in high school, and the writers and directors were prominent members of a sketch comedy group. People were surprised when it turned out to be a character drama.

DecidedByOneVote * This happened to me when I was on my school's Sixth Form Committee. It was a fairly small committee so most of the posts were uncontested, but there were two candidates for president. One was a good friend, but the other one seemed to be a bit more serious about the job, so it was a tough decision. In the end I voted for my friend, figuring it would be a chance for her to prove herself, and she won by 11 votes to 10. Afterwards, I discovered that my sister and a friend of hers had both favoured the other candidate, but had not bothered to show up for the vote because they thought their candidate would have an easy win.

DefeatByModesty * [[{{Vorpy}} This Troper]] was subjected to this trope during a fight at school. Add Humiliation with sexual jeering and my expensive clothes being ruined, there was no way I wanted to continue. Don't fight at school kids, especially as a girl. ** This is why [[{{Phrederic}} I]] always [[FlungClothing rip]] my shirt [[ShirtlessScene off]] ''before'' a fight, plus it throws your opponent off. * [[ThisTroper This Troper]] enjoyed a similar happening at his highschool's spring festival once. One of the taller, prissy girls in my year had begun picking on a girl in a lower year over just about anything from what she was wearing to her [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean size]] and so on, with a little crowd watching as prissy-bitch continued on louder and louder. Cue the small girl finally losing her temper, giving prissy-bitch a shove, the motion catching prissy's pink

sundress on a locker hook/handle, and down went the prissy-bitch to the floor with her dress in tatters left quite behind. I don't believe the prissy-bitch was in school for the rest of the week...but none of us forgot her taste in black lace thongs.

DefeatMeansFriendship * This troper always has someone who hates him, never for any reason. Once he ends up with them in an unbreakable lock on the floor, he doesn't quite become friends with them, but they never mess with him again. Ever. ** BJJ? * In high school, one kid had something against this troper, and eventually attacked him. After the fight (such as it was), we didn't become friends, but he did become somewhat friendly toward the troper. * An emotional version of this was common in several of this troper's childhood relationships. The new kid gets treated a bit harshly to see how they react, and after the conflict is over (sometimes they fight back, sometimes they don't), they're a friend. Participating in this sort of ribbing is a sign of friendship and goodwill in itself. * Avoided by this troper (rather sociopathically, in hindsight) after a fight in high school by insisting that since his opponent was still alive, the fight was a draw rather than an outright win. Let's just say that this troper's opponent was not the kind of person he wanted hanging around. * In middle school PE, we used to play [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin two ball soccer]]. All the teams were usually split up with one jock team (school athletes), three teams of average guys, and a team of nerds. I was part of the nerds team most of the time. We'd usually lose, but one day, we started winning. I scored two goals, and unlike the other nerds, I wasn't afraid to play physically. One day, one of the teams of average kids (that me and my team of nerds beat earlier that day) came up to me and told me to stop playing physically. My answer: "If you don't want me to play physically against you, put me on your team". The next day, I joined that average kids team, and we beat the jocks for the first time, and they never defeated us during the rest of the school year. * This troper punched a female friend's ex-boyfriend after he said something particularly nasty. He's now one of her closest male friends. The female friend has grown distant and un-friendly. * This troper choked a girl until she turned blue. The roly-poly-ness of my usual self and my heartfelt apology in my weird stoic-comedian way made her melt. And consider going lesbian, apparently, due to some uncomfortably long hugs. Even to PyroSkittle the Hugglerizor, they were uncomfortable. * This seems to be [[{{Cliche}} this troper's]] strategy game playing style. If he is at war with another civilization, he will mercilessly capture/destroy his opponent's cities until said opponent surrenders. Typically, we usually get along just fine afterwards, maybe even forming a friendly alliance, unless something disrupts this truce into hostility again. Of course, the other option is complete genocide. * This Tropers best friends in a nut shell. When they met they hated

each other but liked me. Eventually the friend I had longest pissed off the new friend leading to him chasing the offender down (being the lazy ass I am I didn't bother following) eventually leading to the new friend FLY KICKING THE OTHER IN THE BACK. They've been best mates ever since. ** Shit, are you [[EtherealFrog this troper's]] best friend? I had the same sort of thing. The other guy was unable to walk for the next 30 minutes and stayed home the next day. The teacher came in about 15 minutes after he was kicked, but we both have a WeirdnessCoupon. Although, we were all friends for the previous 3 years, so I suppose it doesn't really apply. * When is troper was a kid he was often bullied by many other boys until he got sick of it and beat them up, eventually most of those bullies ended up becoming my friends. * [[EddieVanHelsing This troper]] once dealt with a bully who attempted to invoke this trope by beating him up a second time. As the bully lay bleeding on the floor, this troper said, "We are still enemies. The only difference between then and now is that you are no longer a threat to me." * Inverted: When [[{{Specialist290}} Yours Truly]] was still big on UrbanDead, he was once headshotted at a revive point while waiting on a revive. Due to a rather convoluted set of circumstances, he ended up recruiting the guy into [[RagtagBunchOfMisfits the group he was part of]]. * This Troper, in a game of MaidRPG, my character (A Robot Assassin (long story)) defeats the Russian cross-dresser (longer story) in a match of skeet. The Russian proceeds to shoot her, but is eventualy almost killed, until a third partner intervene. The Russian now considers the robot his rival, and they have had numorous scenes of rivalry, AKA friendly competitive activities. * This silent hellraiser got to know his first friend, John, this way. He is rather tall and broad for a 12-year old boy. Sometimes pretty clumsy, but still hits hard as hell. I'm quite short and scrawny - yet all the more quick-moved and fiercer for it. Throw in an argument and a few stupid slanders. What ensues is one hell of a fight. Ouch, just recalling it makes my body ache all over. Both learned a lesson the hard way... we also got '''six hours of detention''', which is said to be a record in our school. A week later we laugh at the whole thing as we find more and more in common. * My best friend and I started out this way in our Sophomore year of high-school. We hated each other's guts, but we tolerated each other because we were both friends of a girl (Both of us guys, he had a bit of a crush on her, I was already taken.) We never got into an actual fight, I don't think, but there were plenty of the verbal kinds. Now we're practically inseperable; We actively acknowledge each other as brothers. * Sixth grade was an interesting year for me. I fought wayyyy too much, and ended up becoming somewhat friendly with most of the people I fought with. * Not a 'physical' example, but... This troper lost most of her stationery to a girl at school, who would also inflict pain on her

every once in a while. Then the teacher announced that she was going to add an art section to the class bulletin board. Both of them were good at drawing. This troper won, and the other girl was impressed. Now we're best friends. * An unorthodox example occured with this troper and Series/DoctorWho. For a while she had been avoiding the show, partly due to HypeAversion and not really thinking why it should appeal to her. Then one day she watched "[[ fAngels The Time Of Angels]]" with a friend and it was the [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel only thing ''ever'']] to make her need to sleep with the lights on and generally freak her out so much that nightmares followed. She decided to track down the show and watch it. It is now her favourite show and the Weeping Angels are her favourite monster. * My best friend and I used to work together. On our first night out he was...a bit abrasive and we came to blows. Afterwards, we were inseparable. This is actually quite common in male relationships. Despite society's blanket disapproval of violence, there is evidence that fighting is actually hardwired into male psychology and social in most mammalian social groupings. Can't comment on women though. * This troper met his best friend when playing against a rival hockey team in college. He checked me hard and in the process had dislocated my shoulder. I broke four of his ribs. We've been inseparable ever since. * In a PE lesson the teacher jokingly suggested we do sprint training. Completely Missing the Point, I said "That'd be awesome!" He thought I was being a smart-ass and made the whole class run like hell for the whole lesson, people were dropping off and giving up throughout, the teacher saying "Remember to thank [This Troper] for these laps! Because he loves it!]" Everyone got all pissed at me, but by the end I was the only person who hadn't dropped off or even stopped at all. I had earned this teacher's respect after that and now we're all chummy. It's pretty funny when you think about it. * This is how I made most of my friends in school. It's also the story of how me and my soulmate met. I didn't defeat him, but I did end a fight between him and another guy on an internet forum by coming up with a compromise. But if it wasn't for that fight I never would have noticed him. * My best friend in elementary school and I became friends thanks to this. I ended up not being sure about who won that fight ([[TheRashomon I don't really remember, but she says I lost and started to cry, which made her confort me...that must be bullshit]]), but the truth is that, after the incident, we were BFF. * In a d20 Modern, Urban Arcana Campaign, our party was ambushed by a gang of kobolds, taking a surprise round and failing initiative. Unfortunately, [[CurbStompBattle the DM had drastically overestimated their effectiveness]], and every attack on us failed, quickly turning an {{OhCrap}} into {{MyGodYouAreSerious}}. When our turn finally came, the team's [[TheLadette girl]] [[MightyGlacier bruiser]], named [[NorseMythology Sigurd]], [[GroinAttack kicked one in the groin]],

[[OneHitKO instantly dropping it to negative HP]], threw it in her car and simply left the battlefield with the rest of the party. The Kobold, now her prisoner, mentally declared her to be some sort of warrior goddess and followed the party for the rest of the campaign, leading up to this line: --> '''Sigurd:''' "So I kicked him in the groin so hard he passed out, and then I took him home and handcuffed him to my kitchen table. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking And then I fed him chicken.]] [[DefeatMeansFriendship And now he thinks I'm awesome.]] [[LampshadeHanging I don't know how that works.]]" * This troper got into a fight with a boy who he barely knew in school. Now they are close friends. * This is how things work for this troper's [[WeaponsOfTheGods Weapons of the Gods]] character. All his followers and friends (save the other [=PCs=]) are people he defeated in combat and impressed so much that they swore loyalty to him afterwards. ---Now that that's over, let's go back to DefeatMeansFriendship, ol' friend. :-) ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DefenestrateAndBerate * This Troper's aunt gladly recalls the time a Job Corps staff tossed a Tandy (a $9000 machine!) out a window in frustration, and ended up trying in vain to fix it. ** Ask anyone on the ''{{Achaea}}'' forums what happened to Cain's laptop. (Apparently he beat it up first.) * This Troper's ex girlfriend destroyed a picture of another woman (with whom the troper had never had a sexual relationship, and had last seen her years ago) while taking her belongings from his flat. No biggie, but the narrative dropped the anvil never to trust your flat to a ClingyJealousGirl. * This wouldn't count as defenestration, but when I was in Year 5, rumours were spreading round that a particularly mean teacher had thrown a dictionary at a student's head and then started yelling at him! Luckily, it missed. ** A teacher at this troper's schools regularly throws things through the window, granted, it faces a garden and we're in the first floor, and most of the time it's justified since the object that is normaly flinged is the cause, but becomes hilarious when an I-phone was thrwon out and several classmates asked to go to the bathroom simultaneously. * When [[{{Insegredious}} this troper]] was in high school, he heard a story about a classmate in an AP Calculus class: the student was playing games on his graphing calculator, when all of a sudden the teacher grabbed it, erased the memory, and handed it back. When the student started going through it to see if any of his games had been spared, the teacher said to put the calculator away "[[CrowningMomentOfFunny before it turns into Super Calculator and flies out the window]]". * ''Frostsabre.'' Zigzagged to the point that that was added to my

list of ArcWords. There was ''always'' someone in my A.P. Euro class that this troper's classmate wishes to defenestrate but couldn't since the windows were too small and opened inward. Even I didn't know defenestration deserved its own TVTropes page. ---Now go get your [[DefenestrateAndBerate trope]] off the ground. <<|TroperTales|>>

DefensiveFeintTrap * Tropers/{{JET73L}} does this almost constantly in ''VideoGame/Mabinogi'', mostly with dungeon bosses and their underlings thanks to all of the convenient corners and door frames that the pathfinders take a while to compensate for. Since MP regenerates, and the troper plays a RedMage, this makes it possible to defeat any dungeon boss with enough patience, projectile range, and walls, and little enough difference in speed. Painfully subverted a number of times when, for example, one of the other zombie creatures take notice of the spell or the PC trips over the troper's cursor, but [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesomely]] (and luckily) subverted when fighting a [[LawOfChromaticSuperiority red]] grizzly bear along [[ArtificialStupidity the edge of its territory]] [[[CatchPhrase not associated with]] ChainBear], wandering too close while low on MP and being tripped up to lose control of the queued spell castings, [[OhCrap realizing too late that the sword had been unequipped]], and getting ''just'' enough of a critical on the series of barehanded, melee {{Desperation Attack}}s to defeat the bear. It was a good day to not die. * Standard RTS tactic for [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} this troper]] in games possible, providing that the defensive buildings used in such a tactic can handle the enemy. Keeps more of your troops alive for later if you're good. Also good if a few anti-ground capable air units are parked nearby, [[{{VideoGameCrueltyPotential}} and are employed against those of the enemy's forces that can't shoot them back]]... * I've done a variant a few times in arguments, letting my opposite get angry enough to say something stupid that makes him look like an ass or destroys his credibility, sometimes bringing up something that makes them uncomfortable (such as a bad deed they're hiding) to get them defensive and angry. You can also use a similar variant for catching liars and then showing off their lie to everyone around, or for neurotic people, making something that seems like a mistake that they would rush to point out then revealing the truth and seeing how they react. These tactics work a lot better when the person is actually in the wrong. If someone tries this on you to bury a lie or injustice, play it really really cool until they snap, then if you're lucky you can turn it back on them, or at least make them look like an ass. It can also be an effective way of exposing a troll, not really reacting until they get annoyed and show their work to get you to notice them (such as one idiot who openly declared he bought the game just to annoy people and that he had kept the receipt to prove it, thus getting his review removed).

* You can do this in martial arts. If you're willing to take a risk a slightly lower defense, fight with your arms down, or at an off stance, or make "mistakes" like attacking to wide when it doesn't leave you vulnerable, then strike when your opponent underestimates you or is off guard. If you DO make a mistake sometimes you can immediately counter simply because they're thinking you screwed up (e.g. if you kick in a predictable fashion and they catch your leg, you can strike their chest if you're fast enough). ---There are too few media examples to remain here safely. [[DefensiveFeintTrap Retreat to the main trope page]]! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DefrostingIceQueen * [[{{Alrune}} This troper]]'s best friend used to be a real bitch to men and usually NotGoodWithPeople, often seen as insensitive or confrontational. Or just, you know, [[JerkAss a bitch]]. To her credit, the men she was bitchy to were mostly well-known [[TheCasanova Casanovas]] or similar types. And then she met her boyfriend... This troper doesn't remember having seen her smile so genuinely and being so considerate in a very long time. * Even though [[{{Tropers/Joerc45}} this troper]] could qualify as a male version of this trope, I once knew a woman who fit this to a T. She would always be mean to him by [[TheBully ridiculing him,]] [[TheGadfly arguing with him,]] [[IShallTauntYou calling him names,]] etc. As time passed, however, she became [[WhenSheSmiles less hostile]] toward him and became good friends and dare I say, [[ThePowerOfLove even fell in love with one another]]. Then one day, she took a [[{{Tsundere}} turn]] [[{{Jerkass}} for]] [[TheMasochismTango the]] [[BrokenBird worse...]] * This troper is in the process of defrosting a male version. He's starting to smile at me now. * This troper is defrosting right now. * There is a girl in this troper's class, who if you asked him what he though of her about 4 years ago, he would have told you she was an insufferable bitch. Flash forward to the present day, and he has the biggest goddamned crush on her and CannotSpitItOut. I'm not sure which of us got the CharacterDevelopment. * My boyfriend calls me his little defrosting ice queen. It makes me laugh (in a good way). * This troper is (trying) to defrost a female one. [[TheDeterminator for the]] [[strike:[[TheDeterminator second]]]] [[TheDeterminator third time]]. ** Update! (same troper) It's working! * This troper somewhat defrosted towards her friends in the last few years, but not fully. In fact, sometimes it gets worse and she switches back to the frosty and mean personality. * This troper. For the first two semesters of this school year, she just sat through most of her classes and only talked in the classes

that her best friend was in. She usually replied to things indifferently and didn't say anything to one of her teachers at all, even if he was trying to be nice or have fun. At the beginning of the third semester, this troper decided that she didn't want to be like that anymore. She was getting a new teacher for a new class and really wanted to improve upon herself. On the first day of the third semester, she gave herself a nickname, started joking with her new teacher, made a friend out of a former enemy/acquaintance, and improved existing friendships. She is still in the process, but has made great progress. She hopes that by next year, she is completely defrosted. * [[{{Tropers/Troper66}} This male troper]] was a walking glacier in his younger days: SillyRabbitRomanceIsForKids, RealMenHateAffection, StrawFeminist, ParalyzingFearOfSexuality, AllWomenArePrudes, all UpToEleven. Sixteen years later, [[{{EarnYourHappyEnding}} still married]] to the girl [[{{CrowningMomentOfAwesome}} who defrosted me]] after my father died. ** Whoots! * This troper has too often seen the opposite, but they have seen it succeed once. I attempted to get familiar with one acquaintance, who tended to be fairly popular around their classes, but it was difficult. At first, they considered me annoying and ignored me. After during one swim practice though, they began suffering from one of their periodic stomach clenchups(they regularly suffered from internal problems), and being the closest, I was stayed by her side and comforted her while the counselors came over to help them. She remembered that the next day and came over to talk to me, but after a week, forgot about it. The next year, I had a class with her, and tried talking to her regularly, but several months passed and I didn't make any progress. However, I had picked up on rumors about her difficult family situation, and decided to make her a card and hope she liked it. The card I spent several days on, however, ended up being given to another friend, who had just entered the room crying and I ended up scratching out the name and giving it to her(she thought it was nice, then forgot about it.) I made another card on the fly in class later, and ended giving that one to the acquaintance, but she suddenly became extremely happy by it! After that she got along much better with me. She still ignores in person but if I speak to her on the Internet then she seems much happier to talk to me. So it's worked out in some way. ---Go back to DefrostingIceQueen with warm intentions. Usually works. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DelayedReaction * Visiting a Denny's at 9:45 at night with a group of this troper's church friends, we saw an older man sitting alone at a booth finishing his meal. Everyone immediately ran up to him to shake his hand and were talking to him excitedly. After he left and we got our food, this troper shouted, "OH MY GOSH, THAT WAS THE CARDINAL!" He had performed

this troper's confirmation and is a good friend of her grandfather's. * facepalm* * This troper remembers detecting a "free trial" which you had to pay money for a few years ago; I ran straight to my dad, who said, "Yes, you're smart. S-T-U-P-I-D, smart." I then said "Thanks," and walked out of the room. About 25 seconds later, "HEY!" * This Troper's middle school performed a Trope-stuffed comedy called Register Here which involved Rhett, the deaf and dumb butler, find a dead body on the porch. Thus began a game of charades to determine what he means. After they finally discover it, "Dead man on porch! How could we be so stupid?" ''{{beat}}'' "Dead man on porch?!" * Happened to This Troper recently. Through a series of circumstances, all the girls were gone from my Drama class (I'm male). One student commented "All that's left is guys. [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg And Sam.]] My response: "Ya, that's weird... wait, what?" * Extreme version of this, to BeyondTheImpossible levels... When This Troper's mother was in high school, she told a friend a joke (She doesn't remember what the joke was now. Something about ferrets...), and the friend didn't get it, even though everyone else was cracking up. '''''Seven years later''''', they happened to be hanging out together, and the friend suddenly burst out laughing so hard she fell out of her chair. Turns out, she had [[LateToThePunchline just gotten the joke]], which had nothing to do with their present conversation. * A perhaps less lighter-hearted version of this trope in action: [[TheHeroHartmut This Troper]] was once with a group of people (some friends, others friends of friends). One of the girls in the group then had to leave, and began to hug everone present. Once she reached me, she hesitated and asked if she had to hug me. I didn't think much of this remark at the time, but now... * This Troper got one when he was putting boats away while helping his aunt at a watersports course. A friend of mine (well, an old friend who used to go skiing with us a few years ago) came up behind me and said hi. I turned, said hi back, turned back, was about to continue with the boat, then the penny dropped. I was too shocked to speak proper sentences for a few seconds (I hadn't seen her for about two or three years). * This Troper was browsing around on failblog, when he came upon a rater awkward video. This news anchor, without missing a beat, said that Barack Obama was the son of a black man from Kenya... And a white MAN from KANSAS. So, this troper decides to tell his father. His dad confirms it, doodles with his laptop for all of five seconds, and makes the oddest face before asking him to repeat that. Many laughs were had. * One of this troper's friends and bandmates told another bandmate that global spelled backwards was orange. About five minutes later, cue "Wait... No! No it isn't!" * This Troper's dad once put googly eyes on the handles of my wheelchair, and commented to my sister that I had "Eyes in the back of [my] chair." My sister didn't get it. Cue months later on a road trip to Minnesota, with my sister sitting behind my wheelchair. "OH, that's what you meant!" Everyone but dad forgot about it until then, which made it double as a terrific BrickJoke.

* This troper was on a first date, and accidentally implied to her date that she was under 18 (she's not). A moment later, he choked on his Coke. Oops. You see, he had bought her an alcoholic drink earlier in the evening ... * Earlier, this exchange happened. -->'''Brother''': We got a de-humidifier. Remember the time it rained in the basement? -->'''Me''': It rained... Inside the basement? -->'''Brother''': [[SarcasmMode Mhmm, it rained and it took clouds inside the pipes and it rained in the basement.]] -->'''Me''': Ah. -->''(we walk back upstairs)'' -->'''Me''': Wait. Cloud- wh- huh? ---Hey idiot, here's the link back to DelayedReaction. * Thanks. <{{Beat}}> Hey, wait a minute! ----

DelegationRelay * Reading the [[DelegationRelay Delegation Relay]] trope reminded me of my own experience playing that game. I spent the last 17 years at the same company alternating between being a programmer and being a tech support person. On one of my support stints, a customer called in asking for help with a problem in our accounting software. I was a specialist in a different product area, although after 10+ years with the company I had a reputation for knowing "everything". Nevertheless, I needed help understanding the accounting principles behind the software problem, so I went through proper channels and asked my direct supervisor to go over to the programming department and get me one of the programmers who worked on the accounting product. My supervisor forwarded my request to the department manager, who forwarded it to the director, who forwarded it to her counterpart over on the programming side, who forwarded it to the manager, who forwarded it to a supervisor. Now, bear in mind, this whole time the entire trail of forwards, including my original request with my name on the "From" portion and my signature on the bottom, was retained. The supervisor on the programming end saw the subject title and read the first few layers of forwards and concluded, "I have just the person to help with this! He's been around forever and he knows everything!" Well, you probably saw how this was going to turn out long ago, and you're right. Programming supervisor recommended to Programming Manager "Let's get (troper) on this ASAP!" Programming Manager forwarded the response to Programming Director, who forwarded it to Support Director, who forwarded it to Support Manager, who forwarded it to my supervisor - this was nearly a week later and of course she had long since forgotten my original request - who sent it to me saying "(troper), can you help them out here?" I wish I were making it up. * When I was a child, I was getting ready to go to overnight camp for the first time. For whatever reason, my dad was looking at a disposable camera, and gave it to my older brother to hold. My older

brother gave it to me to hold. I gave it to my mom to hold. It worked. <<|TroperTales|>>

DeliberatelyCuteChild * This troper's friend's little brother looked like he was four when he was almost eight, and took advantage of this fact for all it's worth. He never broke character either... Only his siblings didn't crack under his relentless cuteness. * A little boy I babysit breaks a bowl on the floor. *bats big blue eyes and smiles bashfully* "I sowwy Bebby. I bad boy. I love you!!" * Children being deliberately cute does not work on this troper. If they're just naturally cute, I'll fawn over them just like everyone else. The second they start acting cute for any reason, it instantly snaps from [[CutenessProximity "Awww, cute kid"]] to [[BerserkButton "Most annoying thing EVER, stop that right now before I lose my temper!"]] * Although this troper is sixteen years old, she still does this. When talking to her parents, she uses a higher-pitched voice than when she's talking to friends, and she calls her parents "Daddy" and "Mama" when she wants something. Also, the only time she only actually calls her aunts and uncles "Aunt" and "Uncle" when she wants something. Same thing with her cousin (as in, he does this, too). * When my sister first started chorus, we would ask her to sing the songs she learned. Once she started singing, she would use a baby voice and lisp, bouncing around like a 3 year old. When she stopped, she would proceed to talk and act normally. "Twinkul Twinkul wittle star, how I wondeh wheh you aw..." "Stop that" "What is it? You didn't like my singing?" She still does that sometimes, she tells us that it's cute. It's annoying. * This Troper feels only a little shame for doing this. * This troper suspects this sort of thing is why her younger sister maintained the sort of mannerisms you'd expect from a three- or fouryear-old, like assuming weird poses and babbling nonsense/making up gibberish words, up until her early teens. * This Troper has a little cousin, and whenever she wants something, she'll start smiling really big and laugh ang giggle and point at the thing she wants. If you fail to give it to her, she toddles over and gives you a big hug, still giggling. Its irresistible. * [[TheTallOne I]] was one of these, to an extent. I hated school as a small child, and after watching my classmates, I realized if I cried and said I missed my mommy, I would get to go home early. In retrospect, I was a wee bit of a manipulative bitch as a toddler. Perhaps it's why I am now immune to deliberate cuteness. * This troper's name is Samantha. Whenever her five-year-old sister wants something from her, she calls her, "Samanthy." If I resist, she goes back to chasing me with screwdrivers. You know, like her normal self. * Not a child, but a Deliberately Cute Dog: there's a running joke in this troper's family that his sister's corgi, [[DogsAreDumb dumb as a

bag of rocks]] to all outward appearances, uses his powers of CutenessProximity and ObfuscatingStupidity to get everything he wants, all the time, and in fact is secretly the smartest member of the household. The kicker? The dog's name is [[DiabolicalMastermind Lex Luthor]]. * During work experience today I was watching over a bunch of sevenyear-olds doing football based games. About five of them were holding footballs, and were instructed to pick someone who didn't have one to give their ball to. Most of the kids who wanted a ball started jumping about shouting "ME, ME!" but one of the boys just used PuppyDogEyes, said "pweeeeeease" and of course he was one of the ones who got the ball. He then proceeded to repeat this about three more times in the space of an hour in various different situations. It worked every time. * [[Tropers/{{Cheeseypoofs}} This Troper]] was friends with one of these. She was a 14-year-old girl who would act like a seven year old. [[ItsAllAboutMe Including some of the more annoying 7-year-old mannerisms]] * This Troper knew one of these back in elementary school. If the teacher was around, she was cute and bright and a total sweetheart. Teacher walks away? "GIVE ME THE BLOCKS! GIVE ME THE BLOOOOOOOCKS!!!" She turns into the EnfantTerrible. Oddly enough, she got along with the LittleMissSnarker that I was back in elementary school quite well (well, until middle school, when she transformed into TheLibby. But that's another story.) * [[{{Tropers/Smerf}} This]] troper's niece will do this. It doesn't work, except for when we're playing tag and she's it. "Can I have hug?" ''Of course'' I give in. * This Troper's little brother, who is both AnnoyingYoungerSibling and the coolest younger sibling of anyone I know [[BeyondTheImpossible AT THE SAME TIME]] (well, cool as long as he's on my side...)! I can always tell he wants something from my parents when he starts pulling the cute act and talking in a high-pitched voice (heh, like to see him try once his voice changes). They, however, don't realize he's doing this- and as the baby, the kid gets almost whatever he wants. So, you know, being the good minion... I mean, BROTHER... he is, sometimes he'll agree to get stuff for me by doing that. (Yet somehow, it works less often....) * This troper's younger brother does it. He's thirteen now, but he has been doing it since he was about...two, three maybe? It doesn't work on me and at times I feel like I'm probably the only one who's aware of it. At one point, I was about ten and he was three, and I was visiting my dad and stepmom. (He lives with them.) I was crying because I'd gotten homesick and wanted to go home. When he saw that I was hogging his spotlight, he started crying. Now that he's thirteen, he's grown up into an Emo Teen. ** Same Troper would try and give my friend the puppy dog eyes whenever I wanted him to do something for me. (I'm not manipulative or anything like that, we were just joking around for the most part.) Because he's got only sisters, he obviously didn't buy it. I think he's only ever cracked once. ----

Aw, of course you can have an extra cookie! Now let's go back to DeliberatelyCuteChild. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DeliveryGuyInfiltration * This troper witnessed an invocation of this trope at a real-life MilSim not too long ago. Team A had to enter a warehouse and steal some {{MacGuffin}}s, but the guard would always sound the alarm (and call in Team B) before they could get past the door. Out of frustration, they finally tried just knocking and shouting "pizza delivery!" Ever the GenreSavvy player, the guard opened the door, was immediately shot in the chest, and with his pretend last breath announced: "Wait--I didn't order any pizza!" (This probably belongs in this article's TroperTales entry, but none exists and it was just too funny not to share.) ----

DepartmentOfChildDisservices * This troper and her younger brother's family suffered Type 2 of this. While their parents were very loving, treated them right, and only lifted a hand to spank them a few times for misbehaving, Troper and her brother were thought to be abused by the teachers at their school. Child Services was sent to their house several times a month, inspecting their parents and interrogating them, despite protests from everyone that things were alright. They were never taken away, thank God, but they were ''terrified'' that it would happen. Wanna know why the school thought they were abused? ''They were skinnier than the other children'' (due to high metabolisms), ''and their clothes weren't ironed.'' ** A similar thing happened to a friend of ThisTroper. In his case it was exacerbated by the fact that he played hockey and as such tended to have bruises quite frequently. Fortunately the teacher was more reasonable about it and asked his mother about it before calling child services averting this trope. *** I don't think they're supposed to do that -- what, after all, would the hockey player's mother have said if she ''were'' beating him? * This troper's adopted little brother and little sister were abused for years by their mom. We tried to get CPS to intervene repeatedly, but they only acted when my mother took drastic action and refused to give them back while babysitting them. She actually threatened to call the news stations, since by this point their mother had nearly killed the girl fairly recently. ** Good thing your mom has good sense! ** That's definitely your mom's CrowningMomentOfAwesome. * This is, sickeningly, truth in television. A malicious, uncollaborated report was made about this troper's family and the local Department of Child Disservices reacted by: coming to our house

while (they thought) nobody was at home and peering through the windows; not telling my terrified parents anything about the allegations, who had made them, what rights they had, or what consequences they could expect; interrogating my siblings alone; and continuing to pester us for weeks about 'supporting evidence' even after it was totally clear what a loving, supporting, and healthy environment my siblings enjoyed. Worst time of our lives, which really is saying a LOT. * My friend's family was torn apart when DSS took the word of his mentally unstable and clinically depressed foster brother over the word of his two perfectly mentally healthy mothers. It was one of the saddest things I've seen, watching them take his little foster sister and brother (who couldn't have been older than five and seven, respectively, at the time) who had just been taken away from their mother, away from their family again, and seeing my friend try to be cool while he had to stay with my family and it was clear he was totally torn up inside. He managed it except for one day when we were talking and I mentioned the suicide of a mother of a girl who had gone to my school, and he responded "I'd rather my mother be dead than know that she's right down the street and they may never let me talk to her again!" and this is a boy who is usually very calm, so seeing him burst like that was scary. * My friend had five children. She has depression, but a caring mother to these children, but she had them taken away from her. I think its wrong how she had the kids taken away from her and hasnt seen them for ages, as she loves her children and misses them, and losing her children has made her even more depressed. * [[{{FairyDreamer}} This troper]] has been thought to be abused by her school because she doesn't eat lunch often. Even though she has told teachers and other staff many times that she doesn't eat simply because she's not hungry. She also once broke her ankle and child services kept coming to check up on her as a result of the school reporting it even when she repeatedly said she broke her ankle due to a fall down the stairs. But the biggest reason she's thought to be abused at home? Because she's very shy and doesn't like being around large groups of people. Now, perhaps the broken ankle is a bit understandable, but since when did natural shyness and a small appetite become signs of child abuse (at least, on their own)?! * Let's just say that there is a really good reason why this troper despises the state department who deals with child abuse and neglect. Thinking about said reason tends to really make me want to smash things. * When this troper, who's father had sole custody of her, was young she was blown over by the wind and broke her leg. Accusations were made. My dad was furious. Thankfully... no action was taken. In their defence, being pushed over by the wind and breaking your leg is an unlikely story. * This troper's younger brother had behavioral issues as a child. A social worker that was brought in and somehow thought that my mom was molesting him. When I heard that I was about to go apeshit on her ass (I was 11). * This troper and her family went through a particularly arduous

battle with DCF when we started to volunteer at a "last-chance" community and decided we wanted to adopt an "unadoptable" boy. I have a stepbrother with an IQ of 48, whom my mother adopted and raised as her own child, and they told us that we could not adopt this boy because he was "special needs" and we could not handle it. They then began to accuse my mother of being abusive and a bad mother when they found out that she was badly abused as a child. We finally went to court with the DCF and I was allowed to testify about my "bad" mother. It was a personal CMOA for me to tell the judge I was entering college at 17 with sophomore standing and a full-ride scholarship thanks to the actions and teachings of this bad, abusive mother who had never ever laid a hand on me. We won the case.

DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment * From math class: A three-sided triangle. You know, as opposed to a three sided square. * [[Tropers.ReikoKazama This troper]] once heard something being described as "[[ShapedLikeItself simplistically simple]]". ** Same troper, different example. Working at Huon FM at the moment, and I saw ''this'': --> [1] Jessica Mauboy feat. Snoop Dogg - Get 'Em Girls (feat. Snoop Dogg) ** Completely unnecessary, and redundant to boot. [-Note: The [1] means it's the first song I put on my list.-] *** Reiko-chan at Huon FM again, and it's a different and more recent song from the same artist: --> Jessica Mauboy feat. Ludacris - Saturday Night feat. Ludacris *** Again, unnecessary and redundant. * This Troper has many folders in her "My Music" folder. One of these is simply called Music. She's not changing it [[RuleofFunny because it'S funny in a stupid way]]. * I hate finding this kind of thing in technical manuals. The one I'm reading now has an annoying tendency to re-explain formulas and laws that first appeared in a previous chapter. ** [[@/{{endlessness}} This troper]] used a circuit analysis textbook which said something to the lines of "A non-linear circuit is a circuit which is not linear". * [[Tropers.BrownieTheOne This troper]] has taken to saying "(S)He was struck with a fatal case of death." whenever anyone asks him where someone has gone. * Watching a program devoted to beautiful actresses, Keira Knightley came up. One of the guests described her appeal as "this sort of... young youthfulness." Face to the palm. * This troper has a friend who, when trying to make a point, says "FOR YOUR FYI!" Which, if we take away the [[FunWithAcronyms acronyms]], says "for your for your information." * In RealLife this troper has some stuff at her workplace labeled "PPE Equipment". For those of you who don't know, PPE stands for Personal Protection Equipment, or on this sign Personal Protection Equipment Equipment. She also lives down the road from the Athletic Club Club (usually called the AC Club by locals).

* [[{{Pirka}} This Troper]] recently received a science sheet with the following title: ''Wind is Air is Wind''. Seriously! Here's [[ y_Pirka.jpg photographic proof of its existence]]. ** All the curriculum taught in Bahrain is like this. Example: "&#1575;&#1604;&#1605;&#1587;&#1575;&#1601;&#1575;&#1578; &#1575;&#1604;&#1576;&#1610;&#1606;&#1610;&#1577; &#1575;&#1604;&#1608;&#1575;&#1602;&#1593;&#1577; &#1576;&#1610;&#1606; &#1575;&#1604;&#1580;&#1586;&#1610;&#1574;&#1575;&#1578;".&#12288;Redu ndancy, purple prose and redundancy. * This troper's boss does this [[ThisIsSparta ALL. THE. FRACKIN. TIME.]]. "We're gonna have an alley run in the alley!" * This troper has heard that this trope is RepeatedlyUsedOnThisVeryWiki. * [[Tropers/{{Dallenson}} This troper]] Made one out of this Trope "Even though its called Department of redundancy department, It Doesnt take place in a Department, even though it says Department ** [[{{Nintendo wars}} Will]]. Carrying a strong will, will prevail in a post-apocalyptic wasteland (Doesnt work for the Europeon version of Days of ruin (Called dark conflict) Because his name is Ed) * This troper has ''personally'' witnessed a redundant phrase at the food-court of a local mall: 'vegetarian vegetable soup'. Upon sighting this, he then sent his companion into gales of laughter by saying 'Good morning! I'm from the Department of Redundancy Department. How are you today, this morning?'. ** Sounds funny until you realize that, more often than not, vegetable soup isn't vegetarian. Most of them are made with chicken or beef stock. ** A customer once inquired if the orange juice we served was vegetarian. Upon posting said question for mocking on an LJ community, several responses were received along the lines of the above. * This troper once drank a bottle of milk that said "WARNING: CONTAINS MILK". Thank you, bottle, for this important information. ** Likewise, it is actually quite common for a pack of peanuts to say "WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS." Overlaps with CaptainObvious are quite humorous. *** But...peanuts ''aren't'' nuts! *** It gets worse. Some packets of nuts bear the message "WARNING: MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF NUTS". *** I've seen a peanut butter jar that said: "Contains peanuts. May also contain nuts." *** My favorite is on Almond Joys, you get ALERGY WARNING: Contains Almonds. I would sure hope so seing as how I just bought an Almond Joy and not a Mounds bar * I frequently talk like this, like I'm all like "Dude, man. Is that a corporate building of corperateness I see over there?" * [[SharmHedgehog This troper]] once said that ''TheGreatMouseDetective'' got a lot past the radar because it had, "alcohol, beer and drinking". This was intentional on his part, though. * This troper (editor) found it quite hard (difficult) to read a

particular creationist website (internet page) because every other (each second) word was accompanied by (associated with) a synonym in brackets (parentheses), as though the writer (author) had written (composed) it with the excessive (immoderate) use (utilisation) of a thesaurus. * This troper has seen a truck with "Frozen Ice" on the side of it. ** It could be worse; imagine bottled water labled "Melted Ice." *shivers* * This troper has had to physically restrain herself from tearing apart menus which list their meat as served "with au jus" because ''au jus'' is French for ''with juice''. She goes out to eat a lot, and nearly every restaurant in her town does this. ** Most people think au jus is a sauce and that that is its name. * This troper is eating a Cadbury's Fruit & Nut chocolate bar. It has "Fruit and Nut" printed on the wrapper, along with pictures of raisins and hazelnuts. On the back, by the ingredients list which includes the word "nuts", is a warning label which states, helpfully, ''Contains nuts''. ** This Troper has seen a similar thing, on a pack of Tesco Value Nuts -- "warning, this product may contain nuts". *** ''may''? *** Yes. It's a large conspiracy by the squirrels. The nuts might not actually be there, and you may just end up with the unwanted wood chips and bark bits that come off when a squirrel scrambles up a tree. Hence, it ''may'' not contain nuts at all. Might be wood. *** Shroedinger's nuts. They may or may not exist. *** On reading the above, this troper had to reach for the BrainBleach due to the [[DoubleEntendre second meaning]]. *** What? Schroedinger might be female. *** Schroedinger's gender? It's more of a male/female version than a live/dead, but it counts. ** This troper has a picture of a carrot bag with the ingredient list, which says, oddly enough, "carrots". Thank you, FDA regulation. * This troper saw this happen ''constantly'' when working at the IRS since the U.S. government loves [=TLAs=] (Three Letter Acronyms). Any two-word tax or credit would get a description added on to make three letters, such as Self Employment Tax. But then the description would get added on again for clarity, giving you SET tax and EIC credit (Earned Income Credit credit). ** People who work for the IRS are a bunch of [=TMFs=]. ** [[{{Zemyla}} This Troper]] edits government regulations, and sometimes encounters "IAW with current regulations" or something like that. "In accordance with ''with'' current regulations"? ** And on the Canadian side of things, the SIN Number, that's "Social insurance Number Number" *** A friend of mine takes this further with "Sin Number Number" ** I always did wonder when they'd get around to taxing tax. * This troper has noticed, repeatedly, a bag of shredded cheese labeled (on the package) as "Kraft Cheese: Queso Blend". While they are attempting to imply that the blend is somehow "Mexican" (which is ridiculous by itself since the cheeses are Cheddar, Jack and Mozzarella), they are actually labeling it as "Kraft Cheese: Cheese

Blend" * While on a road trip, this troper once saw a sign in a store advertising the availability of an "ATM machine", or, in other words, an automated teller machine machine. ** Don't forget that you will have to enter the personal identification number number to use one. ** [[MidnightMan This troper]] has photographic evidence that there are ATM machines at the Fryderyk Chopin airport in [[LondonEnglandSyndrome Warsaw, Poland]] because he took a photograph. * [[PotatoBucket This troper]], when describing the ''{{Transformers}}'' movie (MichaelBay version), often says (in jest, of course): "It's got [[HumongousMecha giant robots punching each other]]; Megan Fox; [[MadeOfExplodium explosions]]; Megan Fox; [[LordOfTheRings Hugo]] [[TheMatrix Weaving]]; and [[RuleOfThree Megan Fox]]." * [[{{Bisyss}} This Troper]], whilst shopping, found a sticker on a [=DVD=] that proclaimed the movie was produced by "the makers of ''SpiritedAway''!". The movie? [[SpiritedAway Guess]]. ** In a similar vein the ''AvatarTheLastAirbender'' season 3 DVD contains an advertisement for the ''AvatarTheLastAirbender'' seasons 3 DVD. I facepalmed. ** In the showing of ''TransformersRevengeOfTheFallen'' [[GwenStacyWannabe I]] went to, there was a commercial for General Motors (?) and at the end: "''TransformersRevengeOfTheFallen'' in theaters now!" I lol'd. * [[ This image.]] That is all. * "Chili Con Carne with Beans." Chili With Meat With Beans. ** Which means "chili (peppers) with meat, with beans." As chili con carne does not have to have beans, and chili peppers by themselves do not have to have meat, there is no redundancy there. * A sage exclamation from [[GwenStacyWannabe this troper]]'s best friend: "Horrible women are ''horrible!''" ** [[{{Lolcats}} Longcat]] is loooooooooooooooooong. ** In the same vein, this troper's friend's amazing bit of wisdom: "Brown is brown." * At this troper's workplace, all of the milk crates we use have "THEFT OF THIS CRATE IS A CRIME" written in bold writing along the one solid piece of plastic on the thing. ''Thanks'', crate, I didn't know stealing was illegal. * [[{{Tinweasel}} This guy]] often spends his spare minutes at work with a Valve Maintenance List list (VML list for short). * On the Nickelodeon advertisements for ''{{Coraline}}'', Dakota Fanning says "It's a fantastical fantasy!" '''Fantastical. Fantasy.''' * This troper's girlfriend mentioned this shoe ad: "GREEK GRECIAN SANDALS: Classic Leather Vintage Sandals, Exclusive Unique Designs". * While watching a LetsPlay of the original ''DevilMayCry'' game, this editor read out part of a description from late in the game. The description in question mentioned "dark evil powers". Her father's response? "They're probably bad, too." * {{Raekuul}} once posted on a ''Pokémon'' forum that his favorite Pokémon were Crobat, Quilava, Crobat, Gyarados, Crobat, Tentacruel,

Crobat, Eevee, Crobat, Beedrill, Crobat, Swalot, Crobat, Mawile, Crobat, Gengar, Crobat and Crobat. ** [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Why do you like Beedrill so much?]] *** What other Pokemon gives you a perfect excuse to quote TengenToppaGurrenLagann? * The drama club at this troper's school is called TADAS. It used to stand for Theater and Drama Association Society until we changed 'Association' to 'Appreciation'. A lot of people wanted to keep the redundancy. * This troper once watched a video in a geography lesson that stated "they leave the ice frozen because it is easier to move than wet water." * [[RayAyanami This troper]]'s CatchPhrase is, "ItSucks So ItSucks." ** I assume you're expressing dislike towards black holes. Or defective leaf blowers. *** Or [[{{Spaceballs}} Mega-Maid when not on blow.]] * It's not a PIN Number, damnit! It's just a PIN. Personal Identification Number. Get it right! ** Don't put your PIN number in an ATM machine. You might get the HIV virus. *** And you might get it PDQ. * [[WitheredRoses This troper]] was once trying to describe one of her characters without giving away too much of the story's plot. In desperation, she blurted, "She's a female thief girl." * ThisTroper's personal RunningGag: "Oh, did I mention that I really hate X?" a while after he finished ranting about X. * [[ThaliaAerith This troper]] once heard a teacher say, "One single line" when telling people to line up. * One RP {{Quarma}} was in had me essentially posting "Toma is sleeping in Binary's room" seventeen times over a course of two hours. * My parents were out at Taco Bell one night, and my mom wasn't fully awake. So when she called home to figure out what we wanted, she asked my younger brother "Do you want hard or crunchy tacos?" [[DeadpanSnarker He told her that he wasn't being given much of a choice...]] * This troper owns a shirt about apparently typical Irish sayings. One of them is "She is a female woman of the opposite sex." * On the side of this Planters peanut jar thing, it says Ingredients: Peanuts, Contains: Peanuts o_o O RLY NAO? * Whenever I am faced with redundancy, I feel obliged to point out that it is "repetitively redundant." Unfortunately, not everyone appreciates the humor. * A wall calendar at this troper's office refers to the day after (American) Thanksgiving as "The Day After Thanksgving Day". * From This Troper's local supermarket's range of amazing special officers: ** Bread: £1 per loaf, 3 for £3. ** Chocolate Milk: 50p each, 2 for £1. *** Justified in that, for some reason, [[EverybodyHatesMathematics most people can't do simple math,]] [[YouFailLogicForever sadly enough.]] **** This troper happens to work in the PID (Price Integrity

Department) department of such a supermarket and can explain the reason for this is that the price and the offer are administered seperatly from two different rooms on opposite sides of the planet with no outside communication. * From a translation assignment (about PabloPicasso's painting ''Guernica'') in this troper (0dd1)'s Spanish class: "Picasso no necesito usar colores para hacernos sentir el terror y el dolor. No vemos ni el amarillo de las explosiones ni el rojo de la sangre o del fuego. Todo esta representado en blanco, negro y gris." Translation: "Picasso did not need to use colors to make us feel the terror and pain. We see neither the yellow nor red explosions of blood or fire. Everything is represented in white, black and gray." I don't think it's been made explicitly clear, but it's talking about the absence of color in Picasso's black, white, and gray painting ''Guernica'', by Pablo Picasso, which does not use colors at all. * This Troper's girlfriend was having a discussion with one of his friends where she was talking about a friend in Grade 12, when she said "Grade 12, which is when she graduates". * This troper once wrote an article on {{Soap Opera Disease}} for his anime club's newsletter (calling it SOS, for Soap Opera Syndrome). When the article ran, it was titled "SOS Disease", or "Soap Opera Syndrome Disease". * This troper has encountered this on this very page: you notice how many times a variation of "Peanuts: Contains nuts" has been said? * After walking into a large room, I commented "It's cavernous! Like, you could fit whole caverns in here." * This troper has been known to do this on occasion. The most recent involved describing the utility of using copper wire for jewellery. And what did he say? "I'm sure you could find a more useful use than that for it." * On this troper's bottle of Canada Dry Seltzer Water: "SPARKLING SELTZER WATER". * The packaging for ''Hot'' Pockets contain instructions to "heat until hot". For added redundancy, it then proceeds to warn you that the item may be hot. * [[CrashGordon94 I]] was once accused of being a "sex pervert" on a forum [[SelfDemonstratingArticle once]]. * While marking someone's else quiz anonymously, This troper and her friends decided it would be fun to creep out the poor kid who's test I got (who is known for being really shy and reserved) by writing things like "we will always be ~* ~best friends~* ~" with hearts and stars. I ended up putting, "Marked by your BFF FOREVER". Which-- I didn't realize until after-- was repetitively, "YOUR BEST FRIEND FOREVER FOREVER." In the end, though, it was definitely more creepy with the emphasis on forever. I saw him do a nervous look around when he got it back. * Once, in my english class, someone couldn't stop repeating their point during a debate. To which my teacher quiped, "Department of Redundancy Department." to shut him up. * Just today This Troper bought a carton of hard-boiled eggs from Publix. The writing on the carton? "Allergens: Contains eggs." [[SarcasmMode Really? I hadn't noticed!]]

* This Troper, when trying to explain the characters of Dr Horrible, meant to say 'Moist is Howard', but instead said 'Moist is Moist. ' It's now a RunningGag/Catchphrase * This troper has a friend who, when confused, likes to say "What the WTF!?" * This troper recently saw a packet of cheese which contained "queso quesadilla cheese." Translation: "cheese cheesy tortilla cheese." Incidentally, the manufacturer's slogan is "[[ShapedLikeItself Tastes better because it's made better.]]" ** That wouldn't count if you mentally drop the "cheese" at the end. Spanish adjectives and describers come ''after'' the noun, never before, and a quesadilla is basically just a grilled cheese sandwich in a folded-over tortilla. Thus, a better translation of Queso Quesadilla would be "Flatbread sandwich cheese". * This Troper has a habit of saying, "My brain just stabbed itself in the brain because of you," when people say or do something particularly stupid. * A quote from a friend of mine: "She's dead, 'cause she died of death disease." ** On a similar note, I will kill you so hard you are going to die to death. * During marching band practice, the director told us that if we got to our spots (in our formation on the field) too fast, then we were going there too fast. Then, right afterward, the trumpet section leader lampshaded it by saying "Department of redundancy department." * While at the mall with a friend, said friend proceeded to ask "Do you think they have a change machine for change?" * Automobile insurance forms ask for the Vehicle Identification Number, or VIN. Though when talking to the agent, they'll ask for the VIN Number. * Oh ye fuzzy Gods, I've come across people that talk like this. Like the Baptist Preacher's sermon format, they'll tell you what they're going to tell you, tell you, then tell you what they just told you. ''IN NORMAL CONVERSATION.'' * Came across this word randomly on, what do you know, Tv Tropes for [[ForbidenFruitTheTempationOfEdwardCullen mancarrot/wet mushroom]]. "Campire." There is no such thing as a "campire"--ALL sparklepires are camp. That's just redundant. *sparkle* * One Electromagnetics problem I've been given at university started with the words "A spherical sphere..." * I was trying to make a [[ThirtySuePileup great fanfic]] with some friends, but there was a problem beside the fact that we were a bunch of fourteen year old girls: none of us could narrate properly. The result was beyond awful, but the part that took the cake was something like: ---> The phone ranged. Bob picked the phone up. No one answered. ---> Bob: No one is answering! * From my school ---> English Teacher: This book is shorter than some of the other books that are longer. * I constantly have to fight the urge to hit people who say "at _ A.M. in the morning" or its evening or nighttime equivalent.

* [[{{Tropers/Betterthanstrawberry}} This troper]] once directed, wrote, arranged the soundtrack of and acted in a school play. He also designed the poster. At the bottom of the poster was a warning that the contained "mildly disturbing content, simulated violence, mild profanity, sex, partial nudity, innuendo, more sex, and some sexy stuff". * My fifth grade teacher set aside 15 minutes each day for everybody to just sit at their desks reading something quietly. She called it "SQUIRT Time". SQUIRT stood for Super Quiet Indepedent Reading Time. The entire class, and at least two sets of parents, thought this was hilarious. * ThisTroper once read a comment on a ParappaTheRapper video that said this: He got tired from karate (cool mode) He just got his license (bad then good on last) He selled a skunk (cool mode) He made a cake made of crack (cool mode) [[CrowningMomentOfFunny He had an acid trip in an acid trip (cool mode)]] * This Tropette doesn't know if this is universal or unique for her Swedish high school, but when we wrote papers, you were always supposed to begin the paper with a summary were you described what you would write about, then the paper itself were you wrote it, and then a conclusion at the end which was basically another summary where you described what you had written about. * The other day, one of this troper's professors produced this gem: "The text is very redundant. It constantly repeats itself." * This troper has the odd habit of being redundant ("That fire thing is shooting flaming fireballs of fire") when hanging out with friends. * This troper's favorite curse/exclamation of surprise is "shit and scheiße!" which combines DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment with GratuitousGerman. * This troper ordered rectangle-shaped pizza at a restaurant she went to today. When her parents asked about her going to the restaurant, she described it to her parents as "rectangle shaped pizza cut into rectangles." As opposed to rectangle-shaped pizza cut into, maybe, triangles or something. * This troper is often told how much she looks like her mother. One time, a friend, after seeing her mother for the first time, said, "Wow, [Troper]. You really look like your mother and she looks just like you." * This troper's American History teacher said once that businessmen that created monopolies during the Progressive Era "succeeded very successfully" in creating monopolies. [[SelfDemonstratingArticle Wait a second...]] * A local restaurant serves biscuits and gravy. A variety of this comes with "spicy chorizo sausage". It just so happens that "Chorizo"

is a type of spicy sausage in spanish speaking countries. * This troper commonly finds herself engaging in long chain conversations of groups of people pointing to each other and saying "I blame him!" And it tends to repeat several times... * Can north pole bisexual mammals suffer from mood swings? Because that would prove the existence of bi bi-polar polar bears. * This Troper was forming teams for a scavenger hunt at a university frosh event. Each member who joined added a synonym to the team name. And thus, Team Group Squad Alliance Contingent Coalition Organization Party League Posse Force was born. (11 members, for those counting at home.) The event organizers referred to us as TGSA and Redundant Name interchangeably. All of the members wrote their contribuition on their Frosh shirt. * At a restaurant I went to recently one of the puddings available is brownies. As well as the title of it saying brownies the description says it contains "Brownies, cream, brownies, ice cream and chocolate sauce". * "Welcome to the Department Of Redundancy Department," welcomed the tour guide of the Department Of Redundancy Department in welcome to the visitors to the Department Of Redundancy Department who were visiting the Department Of Redundancy Department and being guided around the Department Of Redundancy Department by the tour guide who was giving the tour of the Department Of Redundancy Department. * On the back of an issue of Time for Kids, I saw Mae C. Jemison listed as a "medical doctor." No, really. * While describing a lab, this troper's chemistry teacher said something along the lines of 'bleach is bleach. It bleaches things.' * ThisTroper was looking at TheOtherWiki, on the Innsmouth page, and noticed the same year number twice. --->Lovecraft first used the name "Innsmouth" in his 1920 short story "Celephaïs" (1920), where it refers to a fictional town in New England. * This troper was at a counter fascist rally a week ago and ADL currently has 5 threads in the same section about this on their forums. They NEED a DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment. * One of my friend's shtick is this. Mostly like, "<INSULT> <NAME> is <INSULT>." Ex. "Stupid Joe is stupid." * When I'm writing I sometimes have the habit of accidentally using a word twice in a sentence accidentally [[hottip:*:Yes, it was on purpose that time]]. Usually, I'll go back and correct forum posts that are like this, but once I used "somehow" twice in a sentence, then thought it would be funnier to edit my post and put ''more'' somehow's in. * This troper and goes to anime club at her library on the first wednesday of the month and has a habit of referring to it as "Wednesday is Friday today day" ** same troper, different scenario: she once read that the definition of a wheel and axle was "consists of a wheel that is turned on an axle." * This tropers reason for the 60's being the best decade ever are: weed, JFK, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Stones, LSD, weed, beer, hippies,...WEED!

* This troper met someone on TeamFortress2 [[AwesomeMcCoolName Named wonderBOY boy of WONDER.]] * "IF YOU'RE DEAD, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"--HannaIsNotABoysName * At my local grocery store, I saw a self serve tub of peanuts that conveniently stated: [[RunningGag "WARNING: May contain traces of nuts."]] ** I once came across a jar of peanut butter which said, "Contains peanuts. May also contain nuts." ---Click this link to return and go back to the Main/DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment main trope page here by clicking this link, which leads to the Main/DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment main trope page by clicking this link... ---<<|TroperTales|>> <<|RepeatedlyUsedOnThisVeryWiki|>>

DepravedDentist * One of [[@/DRoy my]] uncles likes to play as one. Whenever I go to him to get examined, he keeps saying stuff like "Sorry kid, I'll have to pull all your teeth out, and we are out of anaesthetics." He's a decent person, but he still scares me.

DescriptionCut * One time, two friends of this troper were discussing the future of a certain student institution once the seniors that year left. And yeah, it really happened. --> A: Oh, I don’t think it’s that bad. C seems competent enough.\\ B: Well....\\ C: *walks in while stuffing a water bottle into his mouth* ---- Return to DescriptionCut here. ---- <<|TroperTales|>>Â

DesignatedHero [[AC:TabletopRPG]] * In one 3.5 campaign this Troper ran (in fact his first serious attempt IIRC), his party were tracking orcish raiders in Silverymoon. The plot was that one of the retired Zentarim was causing trouble for the other towns. Eventually, the "heroes" manage to get a lead, but they needed to get more proof, so they broke into the man's house in order to gather info. Standard PC fare, correct? It gets worse. The party Thief finds a random servant girl, captures her, interrogates her (uncovering nothing), and knocks her unconscious, and stashes her in a closet. The party Mage, a morally ambiguous individual to begin

with, breaks into the wine cellar, where he is uncovered by several guards, whom he proceeds to colour spray. Then, while he's down there, decides to set the whole place on fire, because he thought the place was crawling with evil assholes trying to undermine the stability of the Silver Marshes, but in reality by and large they were just a bunch of people trying to get by. The house is burned down (and yes, the poor servant girl was still inside), resulting in the town going into lockdown. Eventually, when they try to get out, they try talking their way past the guards, but when they get suspicious, the Thief grabs a guard and holds him hostage. Eventually, when they're a bit away, the Mayor (the guy who was implicated) and his elite guard charge on horseback to deal with the [=PCs=]. During which a climactic battle occurs, in which the orc raiders attack (reneging on their deal with the Mayor) and forcing a confession from him. Eventually, the orcs are scattered the cavalry, the Mayor is captured, and he gets tried and was sentenced to hang. However, the Mage proceeds to bribe the hangman so that the rope chokes him instead of snapping his neck. Given the look the Mage was giving the Mayor, he realized something was up, and choked out a death curse. The next campaign pretty much had the authority in the Silver Marshes bring charges against the Mage (for which he was framed for the most part, but still had several capital crimes levelled against him). * This troper's party (a group in which he includes himself) spent a lot of this evening, based of suspicions of a mole aboard our ship, stalking, ransacking the room of, attempting to charm, successfully dominating and interrogating until she went comatose, and then mindwiping an innocent woman. And we're supposed to be a mix of good and neutral alignments. ** Similarly, his character is the Lieutenant Commander aboard the ship, even though one of the lower-ranking officers is infinitely more qualified for the job. The only real explanation is [[AuthorityEqualsAsskicking Asskicking Equals Authority]]. * I usually see my Anime Club Leader or the Senior as the Hero. The Freshman seems to like to exert his superiority over me even though I outrank him as a Sophomore... * D&D 4e: EVERYONE in this troper's group except the LawfulGood halfling paladin, who [[DumbIsGood isn't the sharpest sword in the armory]]. As in, there's a wizard who collects vials of blood and randomly kills shrubbery for no reason, a warlock who is perhaps the first known DeadpanSnarker to wear a cloak made from ''elf skin'' ([[OldShame me, in a less praiseworthy moment]]), a ranger who ''violated a necromancer's corpse'' ([[{{Squick}} AFTER said corpse had been skinned]]), and a warlord who stores live kobolds to devour later. The Unaligned, um, alignment is stretched to breaking point on a depressingly regular basis. * This Troper has run two DnD campaigns with the same group, both ending up under this trope. ** In the first, they were supposed to stop the BigBad from reassembling a broken ArtifactOfDoom. Instead, they decided to reassemble it themselves. The campaign ended when they blew up the plane they were standing on. ** In the second, the party was supposed to be looking for a way to

restore the setting's diminished magic. Not five sessions in they ended up getting the rest of their expedition killed and became pirates. ** One of my own characters in another person's campaign is literally a designated hero, ie. TheChosenOne. He was prophesized to save the world, and takes advantage of that fact to excuse his every (often {{Jerkass}}ish, or even sometimes outright villainous) action. Example: Dragon terrorizing a village is appeased via VirginSacrifice. He theorizes this is the only thing it can eat, and so instead of fighting it directly decides to... er, [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean poison the food supply]] * This troper ran a D&D/d20 campaign premised on the characters being the mortal reincarnations of various metaphysical cosmic principles, across multiple times and dimensions (including the modern day). For the most part, their incarnations were decent folk, but two in particular fell right in the middle of DesignatedHero territory: in the "space opera" timeline, the incarnation of the Spark of Creation and Innovation (a dark and disturbingly mad scientist) and his "son," the incarnation of the Animistic Principle/Machine Soul (a sentient, ensouled, and [[HeroicSociopath extremely violent]] android -- even the living spirit of the pure force of magic was confused by his existence). Probably the only reason their existence was tolerated by those around them was because they were still firmly on the side of Reality in a conflict with Lovecraftian horrors from outside space and time. ** The same troper also ''plays'' a lot of these if he's playing anything non-good. He's less a bastard-that-everyone-deems-heroic as he is massively apathetic to doing anything for the right reasons, and ends up helping the good guys only because the bad guys have annoyed him (or targeted him for death, as the case may be). * This Troper was DMing a campaign with 3 lawful good characters, a neutral good, and a lawful neutral. They decide to enter a city through the back entrance (i.e. The middens), but get swarmed by its beggar inhabitants. So what do they do when confronted by hundreds of beggars? ''Set them all on fire.'' Then they bribe the city officials with their services as adventurers to get them out of jail. [[AC: RealLife]] * [[Tropers/FurikoMaru This troper]] has somehow ended up being [[TheHero the heroine]] of TVTropesTheTVShow, [[TrueNeutral despite]] [[{{Tsundere}} being]][[ComedicSociopathy ... yeah]]. * To [[Tropers/MegTheMaggot This]] ChaoticNeutral troper's dismay, people seem to think I'm always an excellent choice for leadership roles. Even in groups where I am visibly the youngest, people defer to me. It'd be funny if I wasn't so ill-suited to make choices for other people. ** Same [[{{Tropers/MiraShio}} here]]. Since my groupmates usually turn to me to do most of the thinking, though, I've taken to using threats to this effect: "If you make me the leader of this group, I won't be writing the script." * To prevent this, [[{{Tropers/StongRadd}} this troper]] will clearly explain at the beginning of his webcomic-to-be that the protagonist is

NOT the hero. * Hi. [[{{Tropers/Zblayde}} I'm]] a guy who's really good at helping people. In fact, I like helping people. But, thanks to my rapidlychanging personalities, there are times I like to see them suffer, and times I will '''make''' them suffer. But I want to help people more. I think. I hate this. ---Go back to DesignatedHero, though I don't know why you're the one we're asking to do it. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DesignCompromise * Three friends of one troper wanted to build a treehouse. I wanted things like a slide and a lift. Even drew up plans with measurements and labels. We ended up with a couple of planks nailed to a tree and a ladder of short pieces of wood. * Let us all stand up and share a moment in silence, remembering all the genre-defining, thrilling, moving, inspiring, awesome novels, movies, pictures, animes, mangas that live(d) in the minds of all those awesome tropers!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hey, lets head back to DesignCompromise, it going to be the best trope ever! ----

DespairEventHorizon * This troper recommends reading the HeartwarmingMoments pages to anyone who goes through things like these. In my comparatively dark moments (which luckily don't approach anything like these often), it's a real aid. * This troper really ''really'' gave up all hope for the people who were nice to him after seeing people morph into some of the most hypocritical jackasses over the ''pettiest'' things. don't want to know what happened, but I had these happen with FanDumb and HateDumb...and that was just throwing salt in the wounds of other sorts of shit that happened. ** As long as you don't become one too, and try to shine through the darkness, and be for others what most weren't for you, there's always hope. * [[{{Tropers/Anarquistador}} This troper]] had something of a DespairEventHorizon when his internet forum degenerated from a place dedicated to civil discourse to a cesspool of hate speech, and finally self-destructed when the hosting company got sick of it all. I came to

realize that the Internet (except for TvTropes, of course) is largely populated by [[{{Main/GIFT}} Jerkwads]], and that trying to get people to act civil toward each other will get you called, at best, a killjoy, and at worst, a fascist. And that maybe there really is no place on the Internet for intelligent, rational discussion of important things. It also gave me something of a HeelRealization, since the forum was largely composed of outcasts from another message board. We migrated to escape the Jerkwad behavior we percieved there...and then WE became the Jerkwads to each other. Or maybe we always were the Jerkwads, and they were right to cast us out... * [[{{Tropers/SNDL}} SNDL]]: This is how I felt at the end of December 2, 2007; due to reasons [[RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement I know I'm not allowed to put here]]. [[AndTheFandomRejoiced Next day in early morning, however....]] * This troper is recently hitting one and is ready to just leave ''LeagueOfLegends'' forever. I'll tell you why: I wound up playing a game with DefenseOfTheAncients and HeroesOfNewearth players. Traumatic flashbacks to the times I played ''DefenseOfTheAncients''...horror...the horror...the [[WretchedHive scummunity]] of the game practically turned me off from ever playing multiplayer games. * This troper crossed it several years ago, following four years of caring for a girlfriend with severe agoraphobia, a suicide attempt after both of his closest friends abandoned him within ten minutes of each other, and the slow death of his father to lung cancer. I'm still there. * This Troper has been disappointed with the staggering amounts of willfull ignorance and sheer stupidity exhibited by many ''many'' people in [[{{Eagleland}} his country]] (including at least one of our major political parties) for a while now, but what really drove it home was seeing a list of countries based on things such as (low) infant mortality, scientific literacy, lack of corruption in government, and the like... and the United States is nowhere near the number one spot in any of them. [[PrecisionFStrike Fuck you]], history classes that teach American exceptionalism! [[ThatLiarLies YOU LIE!]] That, combined with the over-the-top ActivistFundamentalistAntics that have become par for the course for one political party, and the sheer unwillingness of the other political party to go about fixing things, has convinced me that I will be a very old man indeed when the United States ceases to be an [[AcceptableNationalityTargets Acceptable Nationality Target]] and is treated with the same respect as the rest of the First World... assuming I even live that long to see it happen. For all I know it might take centuries to undo all the stuff that the South knowingly and deliberately ruined. * It doesn't take much to lose hope. For the most part, the reason that most of the world is so apathetic is because they have looked around them and realised that there isn't much to hope for, and that they should deal with whatever happens. Now, for the unfortunate few people of this world who just can't look away...we break. We become so tired sick of seeing the violence and depravity that always lurks just beneath the surface, ready to come up and devour us whole. We begin to see the eyes that we once saw only from within the maw of the abyss in

our own mirror, and we lose all faith in ourselves, in humanity, and in higher powers. When this happens, people change. Some die by their own hand, but the rest evolve. Some find principles that must be lived by. Some go mad from the revelation and go into hiding. Some take up arms and fight, trying desperately to change things. Call them a hero or a villain, however way you want. What's important is that it is these people who try to influence the world, and the reason that they become what they do is because they despair. ---There's no hope...go back to DespairEventHorizon if you dare. Or go [[ here]] if you think you really need it. ----

Determinator * I beat some guy on the ground after he stabbed me with a screwdriver. I broke my fingers in the process. ** Seek psychiatric help. ** Afterwards, pat yourself on the back. * [[{{Grognor}} I]] never give up on anything. ''Ever.'' Suffice it to say that when I say I'm determined to do something, that thing will be done. ManlyTears have been shed in my efforts. * I'm trying to become this in my academics. Otherwise, I'm like this in video games, like [=RPGs=]. 50 hp left and no items? Keep fighting! * I'm not sure if this really counts, but this troper and friends were playing hide and seek when I was around twelve. Now, I was in a pretty bad mood, so when I found all of said friends hiding inside a large shack behind locked doors, he nearly tore it down to get to them. Luckily the door is still intact due to my remembering the consequences and them opening the door. Then again, breaking down the door wouldn't have been a fairly ''difficult'', and I'd been stopped, but it still counts right? * My granddad at the age of twelve jumped on a bus to New York without anyone knowing and came back ''just to get a cup of coffee.'' he dropped out of high school at fourteen to help his parents pay the bills be ''hauling bricks up the sides of skyscrapers. My dad has followed in his footsteps to help put me and my brothers through school, and is physically incapable of breaking a promise no matter how stupid or insignificant. I have inherited the trait as well, and hopefully I'll have little Determinator kids someday. (To avoid it being an InformedTrait I should tell you that I traversed 300 miles in a massive behemoth of a vehicle with a max speed of 100 MPH... in two hours. My willpower and that of my friends> relativity physics). * This Troper definitely falls into this category in all aspects of her life. * I'm a fairly laid back man. I'm a real-life GentleGiant, a pacifist (unless you throw the first punch, in which case I'll fight dirty. Never said I wont defend myself), and pretty much the nicest guy in the tri-state area. My best friend is so amazed by my personality that he's convinced, using KingdomHearts terminology, that I'm all Light

and I have no shadow whatsoever. But you do not. [[PapaWolf You do NOT...threaten my friends, or my girl.]] If you bring either one harm, I will not stop until you pay for what you have done. I will not be placated. I will not be bribed. I will not be convinced. You will pay, and it will be terrible. If you raise so much as a finger to anyone I care about, limbs will be broken. ** Well hopefully you'll marry (and keep married to) your girl and keep in touch with all your friends, or you're gonna read this 20 years down the line and have a good laugh, eh? Of course, this goes for everyone. Most people (especially those living in the modern world) are never going to face a big crisis involving a tangible enemy. * This troper's BadassCreed is "Want me to commit to a goal? Tell me to quit. I can make the choice to give up, but I'll be damned if anyone makes it for me." ** Similar to me, though I just do it internally. My guidance councilor informed me, right before the final for basic physics, that I was likely to fail AP physics the next year if my then-current grades were any prediction. Fast forward a little less than one year, and I am on the only team in our class to make it to the finals for the Team America Rocketry Competition. Fast forward another month, and I received the highest possible score on my AP exam. I then walked up to my councilor, and said to him [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann "Just who the hell do you think I am?"]] ** Congratulations above troper! You've won the internet! * My Dad is like this. He makes a promise to you, and the laws of physics wouldn't stop him from keeping it. I like to think I have this, too. * This Troper combines a deep inner determinator instinct with a Social Anxiety Disorder. The desire to go full throttle all the time conflicting with a fear of other people's judging me leaves me in a near-constant state of uncertainty and emotional confliction but god help you when the social anxiety goes away because of either a sizable adrenalin rush or a push of my berserk button. ** Wow, ditto for [[{{Joerc 45}} this troper]]! * This troper has a friend that did one of those no chair lean backs on the wall at fat camp this year. She stayed up there for FIVE minutes with both arms above her head and one leg in the air. From the back you could tell that it was pure agony for her and she did this just so that our team could win that part of the games we were doing that night. She won and afterwards couldn't walk for at least half an hour. The only thing that kept her going was pure luck and determination. * [[ChicaMusica This troper]] is rarely considered to be a Determinator, but when she is, it's for relatively small things. Even when she walks away form it, she is still planning on how to do whatever the thing is. Basically, if she says she will do something (with actual feeling and not usual lazy ass saying it), it doesn't matter how long or how she does it, SHE WILL GET IT DONE. For example, she had to run a mile in under 15-20 minutes. Keep in mind that she has almost no stamina and running capability. She managed to continue going at a reasonable pace while her lungs were on fire,

hyperventilating and slowly blacking out. She tripped, fell, couldn't see a thing and soon as she managed to get a bit of sight back, she finished it with 4 minutes to spare. Her greatest accomplishment sadly... * [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] has always been like this over video games; more so when he was younger (Back in the days he did not accept failure easily). If I failed to beat a boss or a challenge in a game, I'd keep at it however long it took before I beat it (This being ridiculed by my older sister, who often made comments like "At least I know when to quit when a game gets tough, unlike my brother; who'll keep at it until he breaks something in rage"). ** When we are on the topic of video games, [[{{Klon}} This Troper]] played this trope as straight as possible when playing [=SmackDown=] vs. RAW 2008. In a [[VideoGameCrueltyPotential mean streak]] I decided to play Kelly Kelly against The Undertaker. To even the odds, I took the ability Showman (allowing you to copy your opponents {{Finishing Move}}) and had Tommy Dreamer as my manager. The latter got himself extremely fast banned from ringside. But seeing as I went already some minutes without getting beaten, he took the challenge seriously and fought with everything he got and despite Taker slamming, punishing, kicking, punching and so on and her being completely red everywhere, the "Phenom" could not pin her, because this troper pushed buttons like his life would depend on it. And after reversing the Tombstone Piledriver, Kelly got the fourth Tombstone Piledriver of her own through, actually pinning that monster. * [[SirPsychoSexy This troper]] has an iron will. He recently (starting in January 2008 as a New Year's resolution) put it to good use losing 110 pounds and ''keeping it all off for a year''. He also channels his {{Determinator}} status into writing term papers- one of which was a 32-page long independent study on BoysLove (which got an A, BTW). Just suffice it to say that he can do anything he puts his mind to. * This Troper fondly recalls her girlfriend saying her best quality is the fact that no matter what, I always say "I can do it!" To humorous and sometimes epic effect. If I give up, it's because I absolutely cannot keep my attention focused on it, but I usually at least try to come back to it later. The one exception being Siddhartha. Goddamn that book. * It took this troper a whole autmn and winter to refresh her math to pass her GED test. There were some times where she felt like giving it all up because it was too hard to comprehend. Fast forward to June of 2009. She walked into the testing room with he head high and walking strong. She sat down and got the test over with. That evening, her mother pulled up her scores. She passed with flying colors. Her determiation payed off 100%. * Me? I find it rather hard to commit myself to anything. But once I do, my commitment is unshakable. * [[{{Contributors/Zenith}} This troper]] once walked an hour and a half in the snow to his high school (which is on the opposite end of the school district from his house) take a Psychology final. (It counted for a fifth of my grade!) ** [[{{Joerc 45}} This troper]] did the same thing, except to get home

from work, and it was a 2 hour trip. Wow, we deserve a {{Crowning Moment Of Awesome}}! * I'm a laid back, pleasant sort of fellow. I don't usually put too much into things... except when I do. One good example: I once swam over 50 yards underwater as part of a challenge. I literally passed out from lack of oxygen 3/4 of the way through, inhaled water, and KEPT SWIMMING. Nobody had the slightest clue anything was wrong till I climbed out and vomited up a lungful of water. To this day, I only remember half the swim, and waking up on the side of the pool. To recap: I drowned, and kept going. It's probably a good thing that I'm normally a lazy SOB, as otherwise I'd be some driven, ruthless asshole. * [[TomatoKirby I]] have a sort of honor system with my will. Basically, if I "bind something to my will", it ''will'' be done at all costs. For example, as of this typing, I recently bound my will to run in snowy weather. When I mean snowy, I mean one of the biggest blizzards in the area since a decade (or two?) ago. I also decided to wear fall clothing...t-shirt, long-sleeve t-shirt on top, socks, shoes, and short pants. It was ''cold''. Having a strong will is part of my identity and way of life. * [[{{Xkun01}} This Troper]].In life in general,has trouble finding things to commit to,other then [[GoodFeelsGood Good]].However,once he picks a goal,he will not stop at it,until he has accomplished it.He's been working on a goal for seven years,and still has not given up.Through pure will.In fighting games,he doesn't care how much life he has left,because I believe that until all my health is gone,the fight is not over yet. * Earlier this year I was determined to kill a deer because basically everyone I knew who had gone hunting had got their deer already even the young kids and I had been hunting for 7 years by that point, so after the weekend was over thankfully I didn't have a job at the time so I could hunt any day of the week so two days later I finally bagged my first buck a nice sized four pointer. * The week before exams began, this troper's friend's computer crashed. She is a digital artist so her computer is her life. When she took it to tech support, they told her that they could fix the computer but they simply lacked the equipment to save her files. (They also recommended her to a company that might have been able to save the files... if besides the computer, she also handed over an arm and one leg.) My friend had been working on those five projects for the past three months. She has so far remade three of those projects that took three months to gather info for... ''[[FromASingleCell in one week.]]'' '''[[{{Badass}} THIS WEEK.]]''' And is at the halfway point for the other two. ''[[YouGoGirl Damn, girl!]]'' * This troper is never a {{Determinator}}, even though he reckons the results could be worth it. Now, when his [[VitriolicBestBuds friend]] comes into the picture, and shows that he can do it, this troper will go all-out to beat him. He has impressed himself with his strength. He knows about it, and he knows that flashing a wide grin at me after doing something I can't tends to convince me that I must do it. * [[DarkInsanity13 This troper]] has this attitude towards SuperSmashBros, especially since she has a habit of not using dodge or

shield moves until her damage meter is fairly high, and even then she's not good at remembering to use them. "That which doesn't kill me only gives me more of a chance to take you down!" She has a similar attitude to getting injured in sports. She may not be good at it, she may be complaining, but you'll be damned if you think she won't keep trying to help the team anyway! Getting smacked in the face by a soccer ball twice in a single game (within 10 minutes of each other, even) only had her laughing like a maniac and she was still attempting to play before she was convinced to take a break. * [[{{Anime King194}} This troper]] Once walked about 3 miles in the cold snow to and from Gamestop to preorder Bioshock 2...then he did it [[BeyondTheImpossible again the very next day]] to pick it up, despite all the damn snow and ice breaking beneath his feet and slowing him down, he kept going until he got home and played the shit out of that game. It was so bad that his calves were bleeding and he didn't even notice until an hour after he got home! * [[{{Rhysdux}} This troper]] woke up from a nap in 2005 and couldn't move. I called 911 and was taken to the hospital where I promptly went into an eight-day coma from which I was not supposed to awaken. When I woke up, both legs were paralyzed and so badly infected with staph that the doctors were talking about double amputation. I asked for leg exercises to get the leg muscles working again; one of the nurses told me about some yoga moves that were often used in physical therapy. Absolutely no one--including that nurse--believed that the legs would ever move again. Two weeks later, I flexed the ankle of the left leg-the worse of the two--voluntarily. This freaked out the medicos no end. Why? Because the tissues and muscles of both legs were so damaged by lymphedema tarda and staph that ''voluntary movement was no longer supposed to be POSSIBLE.'' They then decided that okay, I'd regained motion, but just enough to get in and out of a wheelchair. Two months after this, I was using my wheelchair as a rolling walker. Seven months after falling into a coma, I went back home. And since then, I've gone from wheelchair to regular walker to orthopedic cane. The doctors still can't figure out how this is possible. I think that sheer bloody-mindedness has a lot to do with it. * This troper is normally quite lazy, but only with things that he is actually good at (if he doesn't enjoy it). It is things that he sucks at where he becomes a determinator. Just as an example, when his gym class started to play touch football, he could never throw the ball properly, and he could almost never catch it. His only advantage was my good sprinting power. He kept playing despite constantly failing, and being being mocked for it. After months, he was actually competent enough to not embarrass himself. The only time where time where he gave up on anything in that category was when he was basically ''forced'' to play basketball, which he normally isn't too bad at, but he was running on four hours of sleep and was playing in front of about 20 other kids, half of whom were laughing out loud at him. Even then he played for nearly ten minutes despite failing to get a single basket. * When it comes to academics (mostly math), this troper's the first to give up, but on the wrestling mat, he will use every ounce of strength to win, doesnt know the meaning of "quit", and would rather pass out

on his gut than lose on his shoulders. This is the only true reason why he managed to qualify for Nationals. Reason he didnt WIN the Nationals? The [[NeverLiveItDown flu.]] * This troper, when it comes to academics. When I was doing a problem set for calculus, I encountered one problem that made absolutely no goddamn sense. The only logical course of action was to keep at it until I solved it. Seven hours later, I did. * I don't have the patience or attention span for determinatoring in academics, or writing, or just about anything. Even in video games, I often RageQuit. ''However'' I do always make it a point to come back and I will ''fucking win goddamnit.'' SCREW YOU, [[{{HarderThanHard}} HEROIC LEVEL]] [[{{Halo}} SESA 'REFUM!]] D:< * Shear bloody-minded stubbornness is what got [[{{Tropers/Smerf}} me]] through chemistry in college and, later, grad school. * If [[@/SpessMehren32 this troper]] promises to do something, he will either do it for when he said he would or do it later than expected. Starting essays at four in the morning just because I promised to get it in that morning, but was busy the previous night is rare, but not unheard of. This also applied when I had to de-snow the street on my own, despite only having done the task once previously (and that time was with my dad, so it wasn't technically on my own) recently: it was snowing, icy, cold and parts of what I was de-snowing were only just big enough to slide the shovel under, not enough to lift it out. I still did it and the path to my neighbour's house (and my own) an hour and a half (it was roughly two and a half hundred metres of snow). Two days later, I did the same task again and, but for a conversation with the neighbour (I was talking about jam, christmas cakes, chutney, salmon pate, her poor health and the weather, as well as being given a pot of jam and two small containers of salmon pate and having to find a good place to put them (I ended up putting them on the wall outside my house due to finally realising the snow would keep them cool)) and having to redo part of the work due to a lack of thought (putting some of the snow on the road: I cleared part of the road to make up for it), would have done it in an hour. Did I mention that I hate excercise in the best of circumstances, so I'm technically unfit, as well as athmatic and very thin? Granted, my dad normally does the job in half in hour, but, when you consider he is in good shape and in his fifties... * Anyone and everyone who competes in Cross Country and/or any of Track & Field's running events, even moreso if they happen to have asthma. It is not unheard of for an athlete to ''crawl across the finish line'' [[MetalGear in a way not unlike Snake's single most tear jerkingly awesome moment (minus the whole 'radiated to hell and back' part)]], not to mention that the first meet of a season, league meet, any large sized meet, and if one qualifies, regional and state meets are automatic AwesomeMoments. There is a reason that we runners claim that "Our sport is your sport's punishment", and that "Running is the precursor to Hell". [[BadassBoast If running is the precursor to Hell, then we are the Lords of Darkness!!]] ** Preach, mofo!!! We are the definition of AwesomeYetPractical!!! * The whole world may hate me...Everyone can try to break me...BUT I DO NOT BEND! I KEEP GOING UNTIL I'M DEAD! RAWWWWR!

* While ThisTroper was in bootcamp and during the FinalTest known as the crucible one of his friends' tore his calf muscle the day before it started. However, not wanting to end up in boot camp longer than he had to be he kept going and hiked the 50+ miles and did the obstacles associated with the event all without limping or looking injured. Then, to further prove his determination, one of his shoulder straps ripped (the one opposite of his good leg) while hiking up the last hill (known as the Reaper) and still made it up. Then he hiked back down the mountain (he was given the option of being driven back down but refused) without the mainpack, and marched perfectly during the Eagle, Globe and Anchor ceremony. He was such a bad ass that he got meritoriously promoted for what he did in those three days * While my family has it's share of determinators, one particular example stands out, my great grandmother. She even showed shades of CrazyAwesome and MagnificentBastard, [[NeverMessWithGranny and remained that way even into old age]], but her refusal to give up on anything bordered on insanity. But before I explain, a little backstory. After WWII had ended, in my home country Croatia, which was then part of Yugoslavia, there was a communist regime, and all peasants were forced to give a significant amount of their harvest to the government. My great grandmother refused to do so, but there were spies everywhere and any suspicious behaviour was reported, so during olive harvest she would just normally harvest olives in a sack, but on the way home, she would pick a moment when no one was looking and toss the sack in nearby bushes, then come back for it in the middle of the night. Now, olives are used to make olive oil, and to do that you need some heavy duty equipment, which she had in the basement of her house, but there was no way to get into the basement from within the house, and carrying a sack into your basement then coming out with bottles of olive oil was suspicious (spies, remember?), so she drilled down her kitchen floor into her basement so she could secretly process olives into oil. But there's more, one time there was a dispute with a neighbour (something about a gardening hose), he came over with his two sons to argue, her response? Punch him in the face, down a flight of stairs, while his two sons watched. The two the simply carried their father home, and no one ever tried to argue with her again. There was also another dispute with another neighbour, he built a two storey house with one of the walls on the property line, normally this wouldn't be a problem, but he put a window on the second floor of the house that looked into my great grandmothers property, and by law he could only do that if he had written permission. He didn't, he never even asked for it. So she told him: "You seal that window, or I'll do it for you." He didn't listen, so she built a two storey high wall on her side of the property line, and now when the neighbour opens his window all he has is some half a meter of space and a view of a big wall. * In certain cases, such as, for example, [[@/SoWeAteThem your]] eight-grade science class, which you happen to just barely not be failing at the time, adopting such personality traits can be useful and in fact may contribute to you coming out of said class with a B grade. In other cases, however, such as your brief stint in the highschool JV wrestling team as a freshman, this results in you getting

the scorn [[AcceptableTargets and acceptability as a target]] of your then-teammates for the rest of your tenure at high school, as going down like a limp noodle and lasting through, never mind winning, two entire matches tends to turn attending every practice and game you were physically capable of attending to be a negative attribute rather than a positive one. [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Of course, the above-mentioned situation is purely hypothetical and bears no relevance to my life whatsoever.]] ** Another one: My dog used to run out of the house at any given opportunity and go loose throughout the city. The last time this happened, she was hit by a truck. She's a small terrier. She was quite hurt, so there was but one thing I could think to do--walk to the vet, dog in arms. I managed to travel quite a length until two members of staff from my high school recognized me and drove us the rest of the way there. The dog is also a case as well, with multiple cases (even one where we were convinced we'd have to euthanize her) to her name. * I have a ''tree'' in my front yard that corresponds to this. It's a cherry tree with three huge main limbs splitting across a short distance from the trunk. Now the trunk was already split almost down the middle when we got the house some five or six years ago, and gave out cherries like a factory. A year or two ago, this massive crack was heard, and it wasn't until a few months later we discovered that had been the trunk splitting down to the ground, with one of the branches now hanging out over the street. Everyone said we should have it ripped up, as it couldn't possibly give anymore fruit. Two years later, we still haven't finished last year's (frozen, so many were there) cherries, and the new ones are already coming in. Not bad for a dead tree. * This troper has been beat up, insulted, was born with his appendix in his chest and his small intestine twisted to the point that he could not digest food and required surgery at the age of four months, belittled by teachers, and suffers from migraine headaches. When, a few weeks ago, his girlfriend dumped him for another guy, he fell into a state of complete depression and attempted suicide twice, convinced that the world would be better without him. And yet, he is still alive. I know that this example is not as inspiring or tear-jerking as other examples on this page, but I needed to make my plight known. * This troper used to go to a school where Sports Day was basically 'Humiliate-the-non-sporty-kids' Day. I knew a girl who was more than a little overweight and she was dreading the races because ''everyone'' has to participate. But dear lord, she ran every one of those races right to the end, even when kids fitter than her gave up, and it took more than a head wound to stop her jumping the hurdles. If anyone deserves the title of Determinator, it's her. * The two best friends of this troper. One has a congenital heart condition and had open heart surgery as an infant. The doctors didn't know if he'd make it to his fifth birthday. He's 18 and other than poor stamina, is in perfect health. My other friend, I swear to god, Determinated her way through clinical depression. * Of course this is nothing compared to the tales of perseverance some tropers have, but while normally even cowardly I find myself reverting to this in three situations; strategy video games, running and

writing. * The troper is this when it comes to finding videos on the internet nothing come hell or high water will stop me. Oh yeah and strategy video games for me to. * One time when I was playing outside, I wanted to use my kite. Problem was, it was hopelessly tangled. I wound up standing out there for a good thirty minutes, winding string through loops and twists until I finally got that mass of tangled thread back to normal. When I was done, there was just enough sunlight to get a little bit of flight. * It was five weeks ago. I was walking home from my college class, crossing the street, when I was hit by a car. I just got back up, onto a sprained ankle, and walked over to the side of the road, and kept going for a little bit longer. Some friends saw me soon after, and after an argument, took me to a hospital. I dunno whether I should just chalk this up to adrenaline in hindsight, but my family sure seemed suprised. * Everything I've ever set my mind to has been done. It didn't matter how hard it was, how long it would take. In video games, I could sit for hours playing on the toughest difficulties imaginable, with the toughest self-imposed challenges possible, trying and trying. When everyone else had already left the game, I kept playing. I would die at the same spot, 100 times in a row and refuse to turn the difficulty down. But it only happens if I set my mind towards a given task's completion. If I don't care about it or don't like it, well, needless to say I tend to retreat from it and give up easily. * This troper had a friend in her PE class who hated to loose, despite being not very good at sports. turning a game of Rocks- a little like capture the flag, but with no jail and four flags per team- she singlehandedly organized her team from a rag-tag bunch of misfits into a competent team. we were losing pretty badly, and if we didn't get a flag back, we were going to loose- so she ordered a bunch of people to go after flags, and ran herself, at the flags rather than as a distraction, like she'd been doing. halfway across the field, one of the other team players tripped her, and she fell pretty hard- her shoe went flying. she could have gone to sit out, but rather, she stood up and limped back to her side- and started back towards the flags. our team won the round, and the next. at the end of the last round, she even managed to grab the last flag. * [[{{Tropers/Skyhawk431}} This troper]] is completely determined to at some point in his life be the owner of [[ Lambay Island]]. (Don't ask why, I really have no idea) ----

DeterminedDefeatist * This Troper is basically this - [[SelfDeprecation Self Deprecation]], and all that (details, details...), where one of his mottos are basically, "It's not going to work, but I'm trying it anyways!" I think that's both optimism and pessimism at the same time...

* This is basically [[@/{{Icarael}} my]] personal philosophy. Even if I know that I will die unloved, unmourned and unknown, even if I know that my dreams are unattainable, even if I know that all of my efforts will come to nothing in the end, no matter how hard I try, I will continue to live and pursue my impossible dreams. It just gets tiring being this pessimistic sometimes.

DeusExMachina * This troper once became a Deus Ex Machine when he woke his friend up who would've overslept his finals. * This troper, one day, was supposed to meet up with a friend before class to work on homework. That morning, feeling in need of more sleep, he decided to sleep some more. Instead of oversleeping, however, he was saved by his phone going off due to an unrelated call from his haircut place. It just so happened that he had set his phone's ring volume to maximum, making it loud enough to wake him up. * This troper was just leaving work when I crashed and totaled my first car. With no cell phone and no friends in the area, I thought I was screwed. Cue two friends I hadn't seen in years arriving on the scene instantly to give me a ride home. Turned out the crash happened in front of their house; they'd been living across the street from my workplace in my hometown for months and none of us had known it. * Don't we all just love it when the teacher's absent on the day the paper's due? * This troper, designated to bring the construction paper for his group's project, forgot to bring it on the day itself. Cue in a guy from the other group who, [[CrazyPrepared out of utter craziness,]] brought TWO pieces of construction paper. Asked the guy to give me one, and problem solved. * This troper has an exam he has to do tomorrow but he has not revised in the slightest. I just went to the bathroom, to find it... Uh.. [[{{Squick}} Half-digested]]. Also I threw up. Woo! * When I was younger, I managed to somehow spin in the air and land on my feet, after my friend pushed me off a ledge. On a later date, another guy put a firecracker in my jacket. I thought my neck would explode and just stood there. Nope. It just made a hole in my jacket. * When I was much younger, my dad was holding me down while my sister was running up to spank me. Then I farted just as she was winding her hand back. * Played with when this troper's 8th grade drama class was doing improv. The scenario was four co-workers stuck in an elevator. However, the class was going to end in a minute or so, so one guy came up with the brilliant line of "Wait! I have an axe in my suitcase!" and then chopped open the elevator doors. * This troper once organized a soccer team to play in a tournament where all the money spent on organizing would be used to help cure cancer. Day of the tournament comes, troper throws up, and is unable to play. * One of the things that I'm revising in my novel is one of these that happened by accident. One of the villains did something that caused a very short earthquake, and I realized that the scene where this

happened happened at the exact same time that one of the secondary protagonists was fighting TheDragon -- and that the protagonist doing the fighting had a tendency to do a lot of jumping around while fighting. The end result: An earthquake happened that knocked TheDragon off her feet, while leaving the protagonist untouched (Because she was in the air at the time). It didn't really resolve the situation (TheDragon ended up winning the fight anyway), but it came off as contrived regardless. * A reality is stranger then fiction moments; Once while working from home (my job involves lots of computer work, I'm here at TVTropes alot) I fell asleep during a 15min break by mistake, my phone went off due to an unrelated event, woke me up exactly 15min after I started my break, and saved my hide. * This troper WAS the Deus Ex Machina once. We were playing a game related to American history. Our team was dominating so our teacher decided to mix things up and send the two smartest kids in the class (me and a friend) to the other class (we had split up our classes to play against each other.) The moment we walked in, our classmates were overjoyed, because they were really behind. The moment the teacher started again, we knew the answers. BOTH halves of our class beat the other class in the end. ---Go back to DeusExMachina, and while you're at it, thank God for bailing you out ---<<|TroperTales|>>

Diary ''This is about the process of '''keeping''' a diary or journal. For Troper Tales of '''finding''' a SecretDiary, check and post to the troper tales there.'' ---* [[{{Tropers/Pittsburghmuggle}} This troper]] has kept a diary/journal since he was 15, and is 36 now. He doesn't hold himself to an entry every day, but feels guilty when he doesn't. I'm particular about writing in it with a black pen and using those gradeschool composition books for them - I'm on number 23 of those now. I insist on keeping the original hard-copy instead of digital because it would be too easy to copy/e-mail/print, or if a disaster happened and I didn't have electricity to type. I had attempted to keep one a few times before, but the first "official" entry is November 3, 1990 when my mother attempted suicide. Most of the very early entries are normal teenage boy angst, though "why can't I get a girlfriend", "why do I jerk off so much", "I'd like to at least KISS a girl", etc. I kept it up every few months or more often if something big was going on, but the desire hit in 2003 to have my life written down and clarified for my kids when I'm older or the unthinkable happens. My diary is private (box in the top of the closet) - I reserve that right because if anyone could pick it up I wouldn't be completely candid when I write in it. When my wife and I are having one of those grumbly weeks all couples have it's nice to get my thoughts out in a constructive

fashion and then reread them to see if I'm really in the right or not. I do read excerpts aloud to my wife and kids, though - like family vacations I've chronicled, etc. I've been trying to type the diary up, but after nine volumes it has gotten dull (I'm up to 2004 now). * ''"Dear diary... why do people always write "dear diary"? Do you sign diary entries like you sign letters, too? I dunno, maybe I'm thinking too much. But if I'm to address you, you should have a name. You will be called the Resonant Requiem. Oh, don't look at me like that, it's a lovely name..."'' ItGotWorse. * [[@/RedWren This troper]]'s diary would seriously annoy any historians. She writes about big things, but since ''really'' big things tend to leave her reeling, you would, for instance, find a tragic poem or story instead of and entry stating what happened on 9/11. And most of it is her internal though process: thoughts, epiphanies, stories... * [[@/{{endlessness}} This troper]] keeps a sort-of diary (not sorted by date, just random ramblings and notes) in a password-protected Dropbox account - sort of a single-user, password-protected Tumblr (which he can't get used to). * This [[@/{{foxgaze}} troper]] keeps a spiral book diary and has an E-Diary for a 'Just In Case' moment. She has only had a diary once, this being her first time, except for some terrible diary-things she made when she was 8-10 years old. This troper is terrified of having someone go through her diary, even keeping a list of what she would do if her diary was ever read through. She even made a small script of what to say. I'm not CrazyPrepared about this, why would you say that? ---Close or lock this up and put it away where no one can find it so you can [[{{Diary}} go back to the Diary main page]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch * My neigbour is Korean, and he doesn't speak much English, so he usually gets the slang wrong. It's funny. ** [[BackToTheFuture Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?]] * When I was young, I knew somebody who had moved to America when he was about 4 from England. He purposely tried to say "bloody" as much as possible simply as a way of trying to get in touch with his homeland... the problem being that he was basically just getting in touch with the Hollywood version of his homeland (I have no idea why his parents didn't just correct him). ** I'll bet [[RuleOfFunny I can guess]]. * This English Troper consistently uses words like "bugger" and "pillock" on online forums that would ban him for using "ass" or "hell" too much. {{Rule Of Funny}}. * Averted (hopefully) in one of this troper's stories, which takes place in Scotland, particularly Glasgow. I actually bothered to look up the blasted Glasgow patter so that I could make the story actually accurate. Hopefully.

** No one understands Glaswegian other than Glaswegians. I wouldn't worry. * This troper's sister has a funny story where one of her friends' older siblings (No it's not an urban legend...I've met the person in question) was an exchange student to the UK in the 90s. One of her first days in class, she had a nosebleed and said "I have a bloody nose!". Then she was sent to the Headmaster's office because they "Don't allow that type of language here". ** And no-one asked why she was so surprised at her possession of a nose?! Hmmm... * This troper has gotten into trouble on more than one occasion (this is when he was younger) where he used "bloody" as an expletive. His parents immediately told him to knock it off. * This troper once wrote a short story set in Edinburgh for an exam. He got complimented on the accuracy and level of detail, thus proving that the correcting teacher didn't know anything about the place, either. * RadioactiveZombie's Shadowrun character was a weirdo from London, who used Chav to describe wiggers and annoying gangbangers (the MUD he was playing on, he only pissed off the admin [[[FridgeLogic who was Australian. Go figure]]]). He did use Cockney Rhyming Slang, but that was short-lived (another Australian who lived in Brisbane, which apparently has a large amount of British Expatriates, noted that they were pretty outdated for Shadowrun and IRL, too) ** He does have a tendency to use "flat", "mum", and "cunt", amongst other things in real life, too, though they're accurate in the case they're used. * This troper got into an argument with a boy who'd lived in England for a year over what the word "tosspot" meant. I forgot how the argument ended, but the next time I saw my English sister-in-law, I asked her and I turned out to be right. Since the guy in question no longer went to the same school as me, I asked his cousin, who happens to be my best friend, for his phone number just so I could call him up and tell him I was right before hanging up on him. ** According to Tolkein (see the scene with the Wood-Elves in Mirkwood in ''TheHobbit'', for instance), "tosspot" means "one who drinks heavily" (toss == a sudden throwing motion, as might be made in downing a drink in one; pot == another name for a drinking glass, esp. a pint glass). But it's seldom if ever used in that sense nowadays. * This troper says "bloody" a lot because she does not like saying American swear words. This, combined with the fact that she talked about a trip to Australia, led several people on a forum she was once a part of to assume she was Australian. * This American troper likes to take advantage of people [[DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch Not Doing The Bloody Research]]: this has primarily resulted in her curse of choice being an emphatic "bugger!" -- because it sounds ''less'' crude than [[ClusterFBomb the alternative]] while actually being cruder (and because people will still know she's serious when she breaks out the PrecisionFStrike). And the kicker? [[DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch Nobody ever notices.]] * This American Troper's high school decided "twat" would be a good word of the week. The administration also thought that it would be a

good idea to encourage the students to call each other twats in place of "real" swear words. * This American troper is prone to using 'bloody' and 'bugger', because it means she can swear without getting in trouble. * This Canadian troper has taken a liking to saying 'bloody', 'bugger' and similar words recently simply because they just roll well off the tongue. It doesn't help that she was watching several British comedies not too long ago. * Probably as a result of spending too much time with British literature ([[{{Pun}} read]]: TerryPratchett); this American troper has taken to using "bugger" as his default expletive. Then there's his usage of "arse" instead of "ass", "Oi!" instead of "hey!", and "bloody bugger", the last of which is most probably [[DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch gramatically and idiomatically incorrect]], but it's a force of habit, so he uses it anyway. ** The last of which sounds ... pretty horrible if you imagine them literally. ** [[{{Tropers/Betterthanstrawberry}} This troper]] used to have the online catchphrase "[[ShareTheMalePain Bloody bollocks]]". Note that English isn't even my first language, but it does bring up some interesting mental images. * [[GibberingTroper This troper]] will admit to falling victim to the TropeNamer and being called on it by his bloody student (who was first generation British American.) She struggled with math but she new her arts and cultures. * The single "Uptown Top Ranking" was in heavy Jamaican English throughout. According to one of my mother's fellow teachers, the BBC would probably have banned it if they'd understood what the lyrics said. * This troper's baby boomer parents have chewed her out for using the word "bloody", even when it was a complete misunderstanding (as in "Who left these bloody bones in the sink?"). Understandable, since they were born in a time and a place where many Canadians still thought of themselves as British subjects while the following generations developed the notion of a purely Canadian identity. ** This troper (born in Canada, raised in the US) once got chewed out by his baby-boomer Canadian mother after using "arse" as a euphamism for "ass". (For her, of course, it's the other way around). * I know this is for a "It Just Bugs Me" page, but I didn't feel to create such a page, so I'll ask: when the British say 'Bloody Mary', in reference to that queen, it really means Bloody Mary in the same sense as 'Damned Mary' or 'Cursed Mary' or '(censored) Mary', or it's just because she was a violent ruler? ** I believe the name Bloody Mary came long before Bloody was considered an expletive, but I'm not entirely sure myself to be honest. *** The Bloody in Bloody Mary refers to her literally being covered in blood, due to her habit of having Protestants executed. *** I was always told that "bloody" rarely referred to actual blood, but was once pronounced as "By our lady" (The Queen). Over time, the words merged into something like "b'luddy" and it was just a coincidence that the word already existed. "Swearing Bloody Mary"

would likely mean just to swear by the Queen. * This troper's bloody science teacher used the bloody word "bloody" all the [[RuleOfThrees bloody]] time. * [[{{Tropers/Gilgameshkun}} I]] grew up on a small island in the northwest Pacific. We spoke English. And this island wasn't that stuffy or conservative either--it had a thriving gay community and public beach, etc. But my experienced vocabulary was very different from what I later encountered in the United States and on the Internet. Words I had known to be taboo at least to some degree: "ass", "bastard", "bitch", "dick", "fag", "faggot", "fuck", "jackass", "jap", N-word, "piss", "pussy", "shit", lord's name in vain. And words I was never sure were taboo or not: "homo", "hump", "jerkoff", "lesbo". And words I'd never heard until I was an adult: "arse", "batty", "bugger", "chink", "cunt", "douchebag", K-word, "shite", "spastic", "tranny", "twat", "wank", "wetback", "whang", "yiff". And known words I'd heard/used but never in a taboo manner, and only learned as an adult they could be taboo: "bang", "bloody", "cock", "come", "cracker", "dyke", "fanny", "frog", "gay", "prick", "queen", "queer", "roger", "shag", "snatch", "sod", "spaz". As for "spaz" and "spastic", I only learned ''today'' that they were taboo anywhere at all. ** This Australian troper is rather amused at what you've chosen to censor there and what rankings you've given them. I also had to look up the K-word, and got several different examples. Just goes to show, every place is different. *** The K-word that's used against Jewish people. Never heard it until I was an adult. And I recently learned about ''another'' vile uncivilized word I'd never heard before -- the S-word specifically used by Americans against Mexicans. * This British troper has an American friend who insists on using things like 'bloke' and 'mate' to supplement 'guy' and 'buddy' or what have you. I find it mildly amusing. * This troper is a semi-regular poster on [=StarDestroyer=].net, whose admin team are famous for their loathing of racism and homophobia. Since I'm a fairly GenreSavvy kind of guy, the {{Homeworld}} fanfic I posted in the User Fiction sub-forum carried a small disclaimer explaining that "fag" is a British colloquialism for a cigarette. * This American troper had a Spanish teacher born in the U.S. that once suggested to her class, which had a [[FMinusMinus low passing rate on quizzes,]] that we "don't wank around" (not doze off) in class. * This troper once got frustrated in art class and said "Bollocks!" under her breath. Her art teacher, not from Britain but knowledgeable in those kinds of things, quickly told her what it really meant. She hasn't used it in public since, naturally. * Back in the Neolithic Era, on Compuserve, we were having some load times delays and I posted a thread titled "Why are things taking so bloody long to load?" A British user couldn't believe I could say "bloody" on a family-friendly forum. * This troper has an odd... variation? Inversion? In any case, when I was six or so, I saw a picture of [[ St. Basil's

Cathedral]], and I thought it was pretty much the coolest thing ever. Later, I discovered that if I made a fist and pointed my middle finger upward, it kinda resembled one of those magnificent, colorful domes. I immediately ran over to my dad and shared my discovery, thinking he'd be totally impressed. He patiently explained to me what that gesture actually meant, and that I shouldn't ever use it. In retrospect, I'm just glad my naiveté didn't get me in serious trouble on that occasion. * This British troper was working in an American summer camp when one of the kids flipped the Vs at me. They were actually doing the "I'm watching you" gesture but weren't close enough to their eyes for me to realise this, and I was rather offended. I also thought it was strange how "crap" was a totally acceptable word to say over there, when my own parents made it quite clear that it was rather rude. * Yeah, over here "crap" is pretty tame, it's often even used on children's television as a substitute for "shit". But anyway, when I was maybe 11 or twelve, I had never heard [[CountryMatters the "C" word]] before, and a relative of mine was commenting on how inappropriate my initials were (CNT). I didn't know what he meant, and he asked me to pronounce the letters as a word. I pronounced them as he had asked, and earned a shocked look from my mother, and laughter from the rest of the room. * This British troper once, in an rp with some Americans, had his character 'smoke a fag.' * This troper uses "Bugger" a lot when something happens that annoys him. He also once thought that there was a bad word in ''TheHobbit'' when the main cast got to Rivendell and the song that the elves sang involved the line "The faggots are reeking", meaning "The fire is burning", I guess. ---Judging by your gratuitous use of the words "Wanker" and "Spastic", I'd have to say that you really should go back to DidNotDoTheBloodyResearch. <<|TroperTales|>>

DidNotEatTheMousse * [[DFarrey This troper]], back in junior high, was once in line for lunch. This nazi-lady who presided over the cafeteria enforced imaginary rules and sent everyone from about 4 places in front of this troper all the way to the back of the line back to their seats for being too loud. This troper hadn't opened his mouth since he got up and was really hungry, so he refused to comply. Nazi-woman sent him to the office. When he got there, the secretary told him to go ahead and get his food anyway. * Back in the fourth grade, I had this mean teacher who loved to punish us kids. One day, some of the students in class were a bit too loud, so she kept us in during lunch. We usually had lunch at around 12:35 (which is already pretty late), but she kept us in until 1:20. This one boy had to use it, but she didn't let him. So he ended up using it on himself. At first, no one noticed. But then we heard

crying from the back, and saw what happened. Our teacher approached him and basically said "You're crying for no reason whatsoever. You stunk up the whole classroom! Now we have to waste cleaning materials because you couldn't hold it in!" ** How did you all not lynch this woman? * This troper had a strict third grade teacher there was one particularly bad kid if he did something wrong near the end of class she gave the entire class detention even though we did nothing wrong. ** The theory is that the other students will hate the perpetrator for getting them in trouble and reform them by peer pressure. In reality, the students generally side with anyone rebelling against such an unfair teacher. ** [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] experienced something like that in the last year he went to an RA meeting at his church. Because the leaders of our group where tired of us pointing the finger whenever someone caused trouble, they introduced a new rule called "teamwork"; if one of us caused trouble, than everyone did push-ups as punishment. ** [[InkkiBookman This little troper]] remembers various times when the teachers tried the ''TheDirtyDozen'' style of punishing everyone for an individual's misbehaviour; either you end up with a tough-guy troublemaker who loved the fact everyone gets punished for his behaviour thus cause even MORE disruption to the class OR the teacher is dismayed to find that the student who cause all of us to be punished gets the crap beaten out of him which is actually more or less how this ''TheDirtyDozen'' style of punishment is SUPPOSED to work. Said teachers tend to quickly abandon the technique after that. * My class was once held back from going to lunch for a half hour. [[MS3049 This troper]] has medical conditions that make him prone to fainting, random drops in blood pressure, gnawing pain in my stomach if I don't eat enough, and has issues with blood sugar. I ended up in the nurses office for a good hour due to inablity to stand because the compounding results of this. I was told that, "In the future, your classmates should be quieter and this wouldn't happen." ** Wow, I hope you punched somebody out. (Or at least sued.) *** I second that comment with the addendum that we hope the defendant lost large sums of money. * No more than ten out of [[{{MiraShio}} my]] class of nearly thirty students did not put down their guitars even after repeatedly being reprimanded by our Grammar teacher. The result? A sermon from nearly all our teachers a couple of days later, which lasted for three-and-ahalf hours and caused lots of tears. Subverted in that some of us had been misbehaved for most of the year already, and that last incident was what crossed the line. * This Troper's sixth grade class was regularly punished as a group for the actions of one of its members. In a class with over 30 students, at least half of which were underperforming teenagers who were repeating it for the third or fourth time, this meant a neverending stream of punishments. Frequent complaints of "I haven't done anything wrong!" were met with an explicit explanation that they were being punished anyway to encourage the class to exert peer pressure on the single guilty party. Ultimately, it worked; a threatening note was left in someone's locker. When it was discovered by the school

administration, they cancelled classes and got everyone together for a big meeting where they declared "we're a big school family, and we don't do things like that." After which they went straight back to imposing mass punishments to encourage peer pressure. ** [[YouFailLogicForever They fail logic (and psychology) forever]]. It's amazing that such dumbasses are allowed to run schools. * ThisTroper once had a [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin late bus]] driver in seventh grade who decided that, because three or so kids in the back ([[UnfortunateImplications who also happened to be ethnic]]) were talking really loud on ''her bus'', we *all* would have to sit with the bus parked by the side of the road until she felt good and ready to drive again. She did it once and I figured she wasn't serious. But then she did it again about two blocks from my house, and declared that since the three kids in the back were still talking (and not even that loudly this time), she was keeping us until six o'clock at night. It was four or so, and I was getting sick of being punished for something I and most of the other kids didn't even do, so I tried to explain politely to her that I really needed to get home, and my house wasn't that far, so she could let me off the bus. But no, she so much wanted to exert power over a group of random kids on a bus that she began to call my parents rather nasty names. Loudly. Loud enough that the entire bus could hear her. Instead of telling her my name and getting written up, or sitting back down and letting her win, [[TakeAThirdOption I calmly told her goodbye and jumped out the back escape door of the bus, then walked home and told my mother about the situation]]. AndThereWasMuchRejoicing, even though I lost my bus privileges the rest of the year and had to bike to school, even in the winter. It was totally worth it, though - [[HoistByHisOwnPetard the driver was summarily fired]]. ** Awesome! *applauds troper* ** There ''is'' a theism whose deity exists. ** [[MadeOfWin You win at life.]] ** Are you female? If so, are you available? ** Hell, I'd take them if they were a dude. Much applause, troper! * The summer camp [[@/SoWeAteThem I]] spent my middle-school years in was was wont to do this, especially after the the manager became a counselor. ** A case from high-school civics: After much disobedience from a few students in the class, the teacher snapped and made everyone, and I do mean ''everyone'' spend the next several days making notes from the entire third chapter, which was no mean feat in the face of all the other homework. * This troper once had a rather surprising aversion in high school; the whole class was supposed to be in detention over break because someone had been writing on the desks. Whereupon said class, who were generally not, shall we say, one big happy family, told the teacher that it absolutely ''couldn't'' have been this troper or her friend, because we 'wouldn't do something like that'. We got to go and have our break. * This troper was walking to class with some friends, when she said ([[CuteButCacophonic in her constantly loud voice]]), "That sucks!" A teacher that was walking past us stopped, and said to me, "Let me tell

you something - and the rest of you can listen, too, if you want". She then lectured me on my usage of that "foul" word and my friends stayed with me. She then let us go. We got to class late, and we all got lectured for it. ---If SOMEONE doesn't admit to returning to DidNotEatTheMousse, you'll ALL have to stay on this page for an hour! <<|TroperTales|>>

DidYouDie * This Troper's mother has a habit of this ([[EvilMatriarch though it's certainly not her worst problem...]]) "I'm at my dad's house now." "Did you get there on the train alright?" ** That actually generally means, in This Troper's experience, "Were there any problems on the way over there?" not "Did you get there?" Though yeah, it does sound stupid sometimes. * " Aren't you dead yet?" is pretty much the standart greeting between me and some of my friends. * Slightly subverted, but this troper, when asked where somebody is, has a tendency to reply with "He/She died." ** Same with me, but I sometimes substitute with "I ate them." * After calling a coworker's name behind her back: -->'''Coworker:''' Don't ever do that to me again. My mother used to say that if you heard someone say your name behind your back and you looked and no one was there, you would die. -->'''Me:''' Has that happened to you before? -->'''Coworker:''' Yes... -->'''Me:''' Did you die? ** May not actually count, because obviously I was just being a smartass about her superstition. * When this troper's maternal grandparents met, Grandma was casually dating another guy. The two of them were in a car accident one night, and the first words Grandma heard as she regained consciousness were "did I kill you?" She started dating Grandpa after that. ---[[SoWhatYouAreSaying And you say]] you went back to DidYouDie? Did you make it back out?!

DidYouJustHaveSex %%Please don't add outright porn, obvious fiction, or anything involving underage sex (whatever that means where you are) * {{This troper}} and her boyfriend, despite only doing oral. {{This troper}} was going down on her boyfriend while he was playing COD live with some friends. He started making mistakes, and got "Are you getting it on?" Awkward silence... ** ...Anthony? Is that you? * A friend of mine who tends to take his gaming rather seriously shrugged off a couple of stupid mistakes from team members one afternoon, leading to the obvious question. Thing was, his friends

thought they were being funny (he was significantly less experienced than they were), until the several minute silence. Yeah... * Happened to {{this troper}}. I came into work with a big grin on my face, and it was the first question asked. * [[ThisTroper This high school troper]] once saw a maths teacher with a big grin making his way down the corridor. He was intercepted by another maths teacher (female) who started giving him little friendly punches in the shoulder and yelling "YOU GOT LAID." * My girlfirend and I visited a castle, there were very few visitors that day, so we went to the Countess' chamber and ... ensued. Later, we met Father John, a priest I know. [[AwesomenessByAnalysis He calculated the whole situation from the fact that I was wearing my Sunday clothes on a Monday. Therefore, Sunday night, I had not slept at home.]] ** .......Is Father John Batman? * {{This troper}} has on two separate occasions known when people had sex completely from intuition. The first time was sophomore year of high school. I saw a friend sitting at the cafeteria and knew immediately even though she acted no different from usual. The other time was junior year of college when again, I saw a friend across the dining hall and called him out immediately. Once again, he wasn't acting any different from usual. This doesn't work on people who have sex all the time. It's a strange power; fear people like me making your life just a little more awkward thank it was before. * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] brother was a virgin when he ran away to New York with his boyfriend. When he came home for Christmas, he was way, ''way'' more upbeat than usual. We were all quite proud of him. * {{This troper}} once got to one of his classes... 25 minutes late because he didn't feel like going to class. Cue different variations of this question being asked when he sits down. * [[ThisTroper This troper's]] best friend tends to be in a good mood after having virtual sex in chatrooms. * This is a {{running gag}} for characters in my FanFiction; a 13 year old girl figured it out just by looking at her older brother's smile one morning. * {{This troper}} came home from staying at a female friend's house after playing [[DungeonsAndDragons D&D]] that night with a group of friends. His mother watched him for a few seconds, and said "You're not a Virgin anymore, are you?" I was happy to finally get that monkey off my back at 19. ** Yes... [[DungeonsAndDragons Dungeons & Dragons]] lead to my lost virginity. *** [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome AWESOME!]] ** Hax * {{This troper}} once had this facetiously asked of her after coming out of a practice room with a male friend she had a duet with and (allegedly) had messed up hair. The twist being that she and her friend were twelve and eleven at the time. * ThisTroper has a friend who can tell if people had sex recently. When asked, he explained that he could "smell it". Sounds sarcastic but he does have an incredibly sharp sense of smell.

* I had this happen to me after the first time I had sex with my ex girlfriend. I went out with friends the next day and the first thing one of them said was "you totally got laid, didn't you?" I never know how people can tell just by looking at you. ** It's more about smell than sight, due to the fact that humans have a kind of pheromone receptor in their noses (they also have a deposit of iron beneath the ethmoid bone that points them toward magnetic North, but that's another trope). ---%%Please don't add outright porn, obvious fiction, or anything involving underage sex (whatever that means where you are) Someone's in a good mood. Wait... DidYouJustHaveSex? ----

DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu TABLE TOP GAMES * Dungeons and Dragons: I didn't exactly kthill Cthul, but I did kthill his cthousin Steve, a giant squid. I had a Shock spell prepared, but I needed to get in position to cast it. It tried to grab me twice and missed, meanwhile it had eaten two members of the Party. I cast the spell, but it made its saving roll, what a disappointment. But that was the saving roll for its body; it failed the saving roll for its tentacles. Pop, pop, pop, all the tentacles fell off and it sank to the bottom of the sea, the sea, the sea. Then I swam down, slashed at its mouth, scored a critical hit and cut a hole big enough to free my comrades. ** Missed me once = 1/10 chance; missed me twice = another 1/10; missed saving throw = 1/4; attack = 1/20; critical hit = 1/3; for a grand total of one chance in 24,000. * Real life: With a HumansAreCthulhu twist. My sister was draining her fish tank, only to suddenly exclaim "IT BIT ME!" and run off. The "It" in question was a fish roughly 1 inch in length, with no teeth. Think about this from the fish's perspective: a being several hundred times larger than you has just entered your home, and your first instinct is to taste it. Granted, it wasn't "punch out" so much as "send screaming to its mother" but still, that's pretty impressive considering the size difference. * Munchkin Cthulhu: I was playing Munchkin Cthulhu with 3 other people and the dungeon expansion, after the group voted to kill me, before my first turn, as a dungeon affect, I came back with a very good hand. Because of my Prehistoric Ax(+5), My Miner's Helmet (+2), Professor Telsas's Electrical Protective Device (PAT. Pending)(+4),a Flamethrower (Created Using Cinematic Rules)(+4), as well as being one of three cultists (+4), with a Backback Full Of Dynamite (+6) the first thing I fought was Great Cthulhu (Level 20) I beat him, alone, 26 to 20 on my first turn. And adding injury to insult, I got to keep my Backpack Full of Dynamite because I rolled a 6.

DREAMS * I had this retardedly weird dream where the {{God}} decided to make mathematics the universal language (I have no idea how that works, at least not literally), with FlyingSpaghettiMonster as his right hand...thing. Being BookDumb math hater, I was really so terrified and grabbed a folk and threw it and what do you know, it flew like a goddamned [[NeonGenesisEvangelion Lance of Longinus]] and flew like a missile, piercing the FSM and hitting the God right in the heart, sending him flying to the moon and pinning him. I must have been really exhausted, you know, too tired that you can't even sleep properly type. * I once had a (rather strange, yet slightly scary) dream wherin I went about my daily business (Wake up, catch bus, go to school, that kind of thing), but throughout the dream there was a figure that kept appearing, as if stalking me (a good comparison would be the Slender man), everything around this figure twisted and distorted (unusual, as my dreams usually look relatively normal, even if the events are not), the ground, walls and objects warped and stretched as if the figure was a black hole, the colours and even the lighting of things around the figure changed (Some objects were reflecting blinding light whilst others were pitch black) and quite frankly, he was a bit of an annoyance (even though he didn't say anything). My solution? [[GroinAttack Kick him in the nuts]]. WRITING * So I got bored in the middle of brain-storming for a story about omni-dimensional [[GameBreaker Game Breakers]], and decided to do a fun little exercise WhatIf segment taking place after the end of the story. Essentially, TheHero goes off on assignment to take back a universe from someone who just [[DidyouJustScamCthulhu stole the resident god's power]]. Dimension Lord versus God Usurper! Heaven or hell, let's rock! After a scant few fight items (slicing Earth in half, [[BeyondtheImpossible walking and talking in space]], a [[ColonyDrop moon throwing contest]], and making the sun go Red Giant), TheHero gets bored of handing out a CurbStompBattle and just [[RealityWarper punches the divinity out of the fucker.]] Then reminded him that the expanding sun should reach the parallel-Earth he was now stranded on in a few minutes. So I guess you could say it was more of a case of one Cthulhu punching out another Cthulhu. ---Ha! The [[OddJobGods God of Hyperlinks]] blocks your way back to DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu-- what do you mean, "I all ready beat him"?! ----

DidYouJustRomanceCthulhu * I once participated in a LARP based on the Cthulhu Mythos. One of

the players - an insane, evil sorcerer - had sex with [[ Shub-Niggurath]] to gain power. * In this one {{Pokemon}} RP I do, Deoxys stuck his NaughtyTentacles in Elesa. Only she turned out to be a HumanoidAbomination many classes of power higher than Deoxys ([[StarfishAlien yes,]] ''[[PhysicalGod that]]'' [[OlympusMons Deoxys]]) was at the time, and much greater than he became until [[SwordOfPlotAdvancement the Blade of the Southern Cross]] chose him to wield it. Of course, for any other girl who gave herself to Deoxys, not only did she have the love and respect of one of the universe's more powerful and capable beings, but as a bonus she fit this trope! ---Oh, God. What is that thing? And why did it wink at you? Main/DidYouJustRomanceCthulhu?

DieForOurShip * This ''{{Disgaea}}'' fan said long ago, after seeing all the Vyers/Etna subtext in the PSP version's Etna Mode, "If Laharl dying were the only way to make this pairing happen, I'd be all for killing him off." though it was more because of what came from his what-if death than him actually being in the way. Regardless, about two years later, I laugh at myself for thinking that way. ** This Troper thought something among these lines too, but she is also a Laharl/Etna shipper, so that didn't make much of a difference.the one that REALLY got her anger on her early {{Disgaea}} days was [[{{Ojou}} Rozalin]], as she ships [[IdiotHero Ad]][[LauncherOfAThousandShips ell]] with just about everyone else, and the awfully cliché'd BelligerentSexualTension got on her nerves.Now she just makes them have a break-up instead of killing her off. * {{Tropers/Rebochan}}: I still remember a list of about 100 different reasons why Seiya Kou was better than Chiba Mamoru for Usagi, that included such enlightening reasons as "Mamoru sounds like mammary". This was circa 1998. I wrote a response to ''every single one''. I still feel guilty for getting caught up in the anti-Seiya fervor launched by the anti-Mamoru fans. The Seiya character is nowhere near the jerk the Mamoru-haters would have needed her to be for them to "win". * Happened to this troper in [[TruthInTelevision real life]] when her close male friend got himself a {{Tsundere}} girlfriend. It turned out half our school year had been shipping the two of us, and were now mortified by the sight of this new girl cuddling up to him in our Common Room. I wasn't bothered by it at all, but the girlfriend (understandably) took it rather badly and [[LoveMakesYouCrazy started going a bit nuts]]. They have since split up, prompting this troper to wonder about the psychological effects of shipping in real life, along with why the hell everyone was watching our group interaction so intently. We're not even that interesting! * This troper tends to do this. She doesn't take it very seriously anymore, but it's so much fun.

* This is one of [[@/{{Orihime}} this troper]]'s biggest fandom pet peeves ''ever''. To borderline BerserkButton extents. ** Rejoice, amigo. [[@/BlakeDiamond You are not alone]]. ** Count [[@/{{rheasilvia}} me]] in. Freakin' fangirls. ** [[Tropers/{{FreeRadical}} Same here!]] ** Ugh, tell me about it. Count me in too! ** It pisses [[Tropers/TropicalSnow me]] off to no end too! Join the club! ** Seventh... ed. I avoid shipping in fics in general, but that doesn't mean that I don't hate the idea of characters being derailed, killed off, or worse. ** [[Tropers/{{Chlortro}} Eighted...?]] I especially hate it when it's used on female characters to blame them for "breaking up teh yaoi" or "being Mary Sues/not ~feminist~/useless" ** [[Tropers/ZeniTheWonder Ninthed]] (which is apparently not a word, but oh well). Even if it's a fic about a pairing I love bashing a pairing I loathe, it drives me crazy. It's a lazy plot device to create cheap, contrived conflict. It generally is coupled with taking the ship in focus and derailing them into SickeninglySweethearts. It's predictable, cliche, and overdone. Heck, I've seen people create [=OC=]s as rival love interests with [[FlatCharacter no personality beyond being a manipulative jerk]] for someone in the main couple solely to invoke this trope. * [[{{@/Taelor}} This Troper]] freely admitts to doing this to [[{{Jerkass}} Tomo]] of ''AzumangaDaioh'' for the sake of [[DeadpanSnarker Yomi]]/[[CloudCuckoolander Osaka]]. * [[TsundeRay This troper]] sorta feels this way towards [[MiraiNikki Akise]], in regards to Yukki/Yuno. * It may not be this trope exactly, but [[@/ShotgunNinja This Troper]] has a strong dislike towards the idea that the only person you can pair an ActionGirl with is the nearest {{Casanova}} (never mind [[FridgeLogic the idea that it'll be so easy for him to switch from polygamy to monogamy]], but that's a whole other issue), so any men of said archetype tend to get this treatment ([[TalesOfSymphonia Zelos]], [[TalesOfVesperia Raven]], [[{{Inuyasha}} Miroku]], [[KeychainOfCreation Racer]]...). While it involves hating the pairing and liking another, it's not even about who the girl ends up with so much as the guy in question being dropped off a cliff or [[PutOnABus onto a bus]]. * [[{{@/Pancho}} This troper]] once felt this way about Kairi when I was in my [[KingdomHearts KH]] craze for Sora/Riku. Of course, I've gotten over that and just decided to ship [[GirlsLove Kairi/Namine]] instead. Fun times for all! ** Wouldn't that technically be masturbation?... * Generally, I'm not this type. I did jokingly declare that Pete of Stargate SG1 should die so that Jack and Sam could be together, but I didn't really mean it. Now, I just sit back in bewilderment when people rip up the ship blockers. I often find myself liking the poor characters; I might even ship the pairing if it didn't interfere with an OTP. * I normally don't act like this in regards to my favourite pairings unless the obstacle in question is a genuinely annoying character; on

the few occasions I am like this, it is usually jokingly. Well, my OTP is [[UminekoNoNakuKoroNi Beatrice x Battler]]. So I look up Ep6 spoilers, and the firt thing I find is...[[spoiler: a screenshot of [[TheScrappy Erika]] about to get married to Battler]]. Aaaaand cue cries of [[BerserkButton "NOOOOOOO! YOU (insert assortment of profanities/degrading insults to women here)!!!!" ]] Fortunately, [[spoiler: I later learned it was one-sided, done to control Battler, and that Beatrice crashes the wedding]]. * This Troper, while watching Castle, totally believed that [[RomanticFalseLead Detective Demmings from Robbery]] was behind the murder just because he was a rival to Castle. And Castle was totally jealous because "Captain America" was bordering on MartyStu territory. This troper's guy friend was pretty much the same. * This troper used to be this way about Harry/Hermione, though I only ever bashed Ginny, not Ron. These days, I've grown disgusted with the Harry Potter fandom as a whole and am trying to avoid it as much as possible. * This Troper has this for many ships, such as Teyla when I shipped Weir/Sheppard etc, but I tried so hard to ship Ellie/Morgan on {{Chuck}}, but found that I couldn't wish DieForOurShip on Captain Awesome. He's just too awesome. * [[@/CalamityJane This Troper]] (who is too lazy to sign in properly) has a thing for [[OCStandIn OC Stand-Ins]], and pairs them off on occasion. However, there is a minor controversy for me; I pair u [[HelloNurse Red]] [[TheMedic Al]][[TeamMom ert]] and [[TheStoic Per]][[TheSmartGuy cep]][[TeamDad tor]], yet this is so freaking rare compared to Red Alert x [[PlayingWithFire Hot]] [[ObfuscatingStupidity Shot]] that I have grown a [[ really deep hatred of it]]. Good thing my friends who support it don't mind me hating its guts! * This troper was a die hard [[HarryPotter Snape/Lily]] shipper since the 5th book and was totally vindicated by the "Prince's Tale." I used to be a DieForOurShip Kirk/Spock fan, and still am as far StarTrekTheOriginalSeries is concerned, though I also like S/U and K/[=McCoy=] for the reboot. I also realized that I have GOT to stay away from message boards ran by crazy rabid Yaoi Fangirls fighting with right-wing homophobic nutjobs or my love for my favorite new fandom will be RuinedFOREVER. * This troper used to treat [[CodenameKidsNextDoor Numbuh 1/Lizzie]] on a rather neutral light in the first seasons she appeared. However as she started to fall into {{Jerkass}} territory, he admits to have joined his first DieForOurShip in his life. * This troper and her fandom friend both ship [[TheDreamer Alex/Bea]](Bamilton, Whamilton, Balex, either or) and when we found out that Alan had tuberculosis we were jumping with joy. We're rabid. * If this troper gets into a popular pairing full of this trope, she usually won't be bothered by the character in the way at first, but the fandom tends to push her into it. After a while, I learn that I don't care about the character so much, but how the opposing fandom is always smarter, more mature and logical than mine is, I'm jealous of them, and I want to make them look as stupid as possible, but I can't.

* I had a rather strange conversation with a girl during lunch one day. She had just finished telling me about the fanfic she was writing, where Draco wasn't a deatheater, ''Voldemort wasn't evil,'' (Of course, Dumbledore is) and Harry is a Slytherin. (I kind of made the mistake of going "Ohh, so its a [[PoesLaw parody fic!]]" to which she replied with an offended "Uh, no. Its an actual fic.") We had a conversation about why she so hates Gryffindor (especially Hermione and Ron, and calling JKR stupid because she didn't see that Harry was a true Slytherin. Harry. ''The character she wrote.'') So: --> '''Girl:''' Oh, and Ginny is ''not'' his true love! (The girl is, I think, a Draco/Harry shipper) --> '''Me:''' Uh, why? --> '''Girl:''' She's a slut! --> '''Me:''' Harry dates almost as much as she did. In two years, he dated two girls, the latter of which he married. In two years, she dated three guys, the last of which she married. --> '''Girl:'''...But she slept with a lot more! --> '''Me:''' Ok, now you're just making stuff up. --> '''Girl:''' ''She is a slut!'' ** this is also a case of rooting for the empire. *** She doesn't happen to be called Tara does she? Cough, cough, my immortal, cough * I want to do a deconstruction-like story that just tears apart [[SlashFic bad yaoi fics]] where the girl, who is actually a sweet girl, finds out her boyfriend is cheating on her with another man. Naturally, she's upset and the BastardBoyfriend tries to justify this by using her outburst as a justification but she [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech verbally thrashes him for being selfish]] and essentially leaves him. It's probably not gonna get done, though. ** I would love to see this. I can name a [[UnderStatement few]] fandoms that could be done. * Invered in one Fan Fic I wrote Harly and Ivy get blone to smitherines by Jokeer and find that the devil cuts the LGBT some slack. * This troper knew someone on fanfiction who insisted Sakura was not for Sasuke or Naruto because "she'z a dumb bimbo wit stupid hair, a [[RougeAnglesOfSatin falt]] chest, and is sooo stupid." Every one of her posts was about how stupid Sakura was. When someone wrote a thread bashing Yaoi, she went on there shouting that [[GodwinsLaw "Yur jus like Adolf Hittler, you just hate gay people]], fuk u, go die in a river while being eaten by crocodiles. Sasuke and Naruto r so cute together, they even kissed! Shut da fuck up, bunch of Nazis. No, Sasuke is not evil, he is just doin whats right, the village deserves it 4 killin those awesum Uchihas!!!!!1111!!!!" ** [[{{Narm}} Hahahahahaha! Man, that's hilarious!]] Sorry, but the whole 'go die in a river while being eaten by crocodiles' part cracked me up. Damn troll! Why would you go hating on Sakura (note that [[Tropers/{{FreeRadical}} this troper]] isn't even into ''{{Naruto}}'') to suit your [[YaoiFangirl yaoi]] fantasy ideas, attack her for no good reason, diss her for [[{{Pettanko}} being flat]] [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and then]] not even be sober while doing so!

* This is one of [[Tropers/TheGDude this troper's]] biggest peeve with the KingdomHearts fandom. Yes, he accepts gay people. Yes, he accepts your right to ship whoever you want. No, that doesn't mean he'll accept your [[DarthWiki/{{Ptitlew9bltta3dv6n}} So Bad It's Horrible]] RevengeFic. * this is also one of my pet peeve's I mean there could at least add a non mary sue OC or just pair Alice with anther character but nooo there have to blashed her or change her personality that and does anybody notice that half the girl take's a hit and the guy doesn't I mean what the heck?! * That really depends on my mood during the day but back then I sometimes feel like treating Shiro or Cute Pink or Racer (even though I really like Racer) in this kind of fashion for the sake of [[HoYay Shiro/Kuro]] or [[FanPreferredCouple Gold/CutePink]] * [[Tropers/{{Kankurette}} This troper]] is a Sakura Haruno fan, and is sick and tired of people playing her off against Hinata - and that includes on here - because they're the two girls most likely to get it on with Naruto. She thinks both girls would probably be great friends if Kishi bothered to make them interact, and would like to point out that Hinata beating some sense into Sakura would never happen. Hinata's above such stupidity. * [[Tropers/FreeRadical This tropette]] really doesn't think it's fair to hate on one character just because they get in the way of ''your'' {{OTP}}. I'd [[TakeAThirdOption rather just]] [[OneTrueThreesome ship the three of them together]] and call it a day. ** [[{{@/Icarael}} This troper]] agrees wholeheartedly. Why hate on a character who's in the way of your OneTruePairing when you can just have him/her share the love interest? Plus, [[FetishFuel threesomes are kinky]]. * This troper has seen [[EpicMickey Ortensia]] get this treatment rather horribly: Some people who [[FanPreferredCouple prefer Oswald with his first love Fanny Cottontail]]... ** turn Ortensia into a feline version of [[AvatarTheLastAirbender Azula]] that spends most of her time scheming about ways to [[MurderTheHypotenuse to get Fanny out of the picture]], usually ending with her getting treated to some rather humiliating and painful punishment that [[DesignatedVillain she apparently deserves]], ** turn Fanny into an [[TheBeautifulPeople EXTREMELY attractive]] [[SympatheticSue Sympathetic/]]PossessionSue that has [[DespairEventHorizon lost the will to live without Oswald's love]] on some select occasions, ** [[NeverLiveItDown bring up some of the less saintly things she's done as 'Sadie' in the Lantz/Mintz cartoons to make her look bad]], ** accuse her of being a CanonSue just because her name was derived from either [[MeaningfulName the word 'horticulture']] or [[BilingualBonus the Italian word 'orto' (garden)]], ** claim that she distracts from the Mickey/Oswald brotherhood plot despite having less than a minute of screentime (yeah, this troper checked), ** or, after decades and decades of happy marriage and family life, have Oswald [[EurekaMoment suddenly remember all the bad stuff Ortensia did as 'Sadie']], [[CharacterDerailment destroy every single

physical memory of her]], and [[MoralEventHorizon abandon her AND the Bunny Children without a second thought to look for Fanny and re-start life with her by his side.]] Most of the ugliness of this war has died down since, but it's still worth a mention, as this troper now feels ashamed for supporting Oswald x Fanny as 'old canon' * In AxisPowersHetalia I've noticed the hate for [[PluckyGirl Seychelles]] is basically "OMG she's [[YouKeepUsingThatWord Mary Sue™]], trying to ruin England and France's [[HoYay tru luv!1!]]" [[CoolBigSis Belgium]] is [[RealWomenNeverWearDresses also a Mary Sue™]] [[ShallowLoveInterest that only exists to split Spain and Romano up]] and has an ''[[VocalDissonance annnoying voice!1]]'' Seychelles and Belgium are minor characters, but the shippers see evil Sues that only want to stop the ''hawt yaoi'' with their girlness. * This 13-year-old troper is an [[SoBadItsGood M.I. High]] fan. When [[EstrogenBrigadeBait Oscar]] began to be shipped with Avril, her personal [[TheScrappy Scrappy]], she had to try extremely hard to stop herself from invoking this trope (her [[OneTruePairing OTP]] is OscarXCarrie) because it's usually one of her [[BerserkButton Berserk Buttons]]. She probably would not have cared, had the following not happened: Oscar being previously [[ShipTease Ship Teased]] with Carrie in a couple of episodes beforehand; the previous season's Blane and Daisy ending up paired off; and Avril suddenly being played as a perfectly normal girl, despite previously being an extreme [[GranolaGirl Granola Girl]] [[StalkerWithACrush Stalker With A Crush]]...

---DracoInLeatherPants can go die in a fire. You x DieForOurShip is my OTP! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DieOrFly * Some people believe that the best way to teach children to swim is to throw them in the water where it's deep. More an ability than a superpower, but still. ** This troper, having nearly died from the application of this technique, would tend to disagree. ** This troper, whose mother acquired severe aquaphobia from the same, would also disagree. ** This troper, who is sane, would also disagree. ** This troper, who is insane, would also disagree. ** This troper, having jumped into a 12 foot pool when she was 8 months old would also have to disagree. ** This tropette would have to be the one to HER case only. She was basically useless until her father threw her into a pool where she nearly drowned, but she picked it up nearly a week after. Huh. ----

DiesWideShut * This troper was somewhat distressed to note that the eye-closing thing didn't seem to work in real life. ** Actually, eyelids need to be sewn shut if you want them to stay. *** Or weighted down with something. Coins are a favourite. **** Actually, human eyes are kept shut with a sealant which is usually mixed with Vaseline in order to create a very slight wetness around the eyes. This helps to make the body look more natural, or alive. Without sealant, the eyes will never stay shut for more than five or so minutes. * Nightmarishly averted. This troper learned this the hard way when her baby rabbit, Veronica, died many years ago. She didn't even look dead (just lying in her cage with her eyes wide open like she usually does) until she poked the thing and it tipped over like a cup, frozen in same position due to rigor mortis. ** Played straight with her hamsters. She thought they were sleeping.

DifferentAsNightAndDay * Many identical twins do this to keep from being seen as a HiveMind, and are often contemptuous of the idea. [[{{Sharysa}} This troper]] and her twin are an example: While both of us are quite smart, I am definitely more serious and quiet, while my sister is cheery and talkative. Physically, we haven't had the same hairstyle or clothes since middle school. And people STILL mixed us up in high school. ** God, I know that feeling. I had longer hair and wiry build, he was stockier and either buzz cut or flat-top hair, both of us dressed completely different, and there were whole months when we were never seen together at school. And yet there was often someone who would come up to either of us and hold a whole conversation as if we were the other brother. * This troper has a twin who is so opposite in looks and personality that they tend to be [[RelativeError mistaken for boyfriend and girlfriend, not siblings]]. * This troper went to high school with a pair of identical twins that were worlds away in personality, though they did have a few similar interests (videogames, card games like Magic, and the like). One twin was rather pretentious, enjoyed Latin, had a sophisticated vocabulary and was definitely more tightly wound, while the other twin was a bit more BookDumb, loved to just hang out and have a good time, and was more hyperactive. * [[DokEnkephalin This Troper]] and his twin tried to invoke this around junior high, just for some sense of personal identity. This didn't stop everyone from ''always'' referring to us in the plural, but it was an improvement over the CreepyTwins we were before. We mellowed out of this too, and now we're really only as different as any two other people who may or may not be related; aside from the genes, of course. * This girl and her younger sister, although we are not twins, are completely different. While I am tall, light brown haired, [[{{Dandere}} quiet and shy]], my sister is short, dark haired,

[[{{Tsundere}} noisy and tough]]. * This troper and his younger (not twin) brother, to the point of me being born at night during a new moon, and him born during the day before a full moon. There's almost no similarity between us at all: not in appearance, interests, or personality. * this troper and twin count. one of us is male, blond, blue eyed, tan, skinny, about 6 foot, a fast runner, quick with fists( but not words) good with science not so good with animals, and is bad at math. the other is: female, has dark curly hair, green-gray eyes, paler than paper, a little heavy, about...5 foot, can't run to save her life, quick with words( not with fists until she gets really steamed) bad at science, great with animals(despite being terrified of them) and terrible at math. * This troper and her sister, who is two years younger. I'm short, pale, and red-haired, shy and introverted, more artistic (being a writer and all), and [[WritersCannotDoMath hopeless at math]]. She's taller, tan, brunette, outgoing, and prefers math and science. We were seldom seen together in high school, so very few people knew we were even sisters. Those who knew thought we were stepsisters, or that one of us was adopted, at least at first. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DiggingYourselfDeeper * Happens to this troper from time to time. The most recent version ended with me shouting after the fleeing listener, "I only find dead babies funny ''in theory!''" ** Joe Rogan says the same in his stand-up, minus the Digging Yourself Deeper part. After about 5 minutes of jokes involving babies, he says "I'd never hurt a real baby, but I'll piss all over a fake one!" * [[PotatoBucket Yo]]. Every girl he tries to flirt with. Turns out, when he learned to talk, he never learned to shut up.? ** Are you my double? *** Or every guy this troper flirts with. * "[[JET73L This troper]] has his very own bucket of ears collection... that is, of occurences... linguistic occurences, not actual buckets... at least not filled withj ears... Or anything else, for that matter... How long ago should I have shut up?" Friends think it's endearing. Makes it hard to meet anyone new, though. Erm, not that he needs to meet anyone new, nothing happened to his friends... Not that anything would happen... This is not that much of an exaggeration, he can go for several minutes just digging a deeper grave. For himself. Figuratively! The Backspace button is his friend. * every single FUCKING time this troper says something stupid. i really should learn to shut up. ** I know what you mean. I attract more attention than I should (not that i don't want attention) when I talk about something that could be best described as ambiguously weird, and people give me the looks; sometimes, they laugh at me, too. And at the rate of stupid things I say, people act like this with me almost all the time. Not that I'm a weird person, it's just the... Ambiguosity... Of the thing. Not

''that'' thing, just what I say. * Almost every single time [[{{nine}} this guy]] talks. It's annoying to him, funny for others. * Anytime this troper [[SingleIssueWonk tries to talk about Twilight]], even with non-fans or fellow-haters, it just goes completely to hell. * While discussing gardens with the neighbor (mine weed-riddled and making its way onto hers, rid of weeds), I suggested retirement must remove a lot of worries from their life. Boy, there were no good options down ''that'' DialogueTree. * This troper tends to lapse into it, intentionally. Why? It makes everyone else feel pretty awkward, which amuses me to no end. * This troper revels in ear buckets, it's just fun to see how far off track you can take a simple greeting. * A friend of mine has saved almost every phone message I've ever left her, because of my tendency to dig myself into a hole with [[HilarityEnsues hilarious results.]] * {{Excel-2009}}. I pride myself for my inability to catch myself on my own insensitivity before it's too late. I say something that everyone I know (save my parents, usually) wouldn't bat an eye at, and before I know it I find myself apologizing and explaining myself for something that makes perfect sense in one community but is {{facepalm}}-inducing in another. * Happened once during a driving lesson. The instructor asked me some technical question to which I attempted to answer. After various halfhearted answers, I asked if I was just digging myself deeper. His face was eloquent enough for an answer. * The following has become something of a running gag for this troper: "I dug myself INTO this hole, and I will DIG MY WAY OUT!" * This Troper was talking to a friend that he sort-of-kind-of-maybe has feelings for. She was complaining that all the guys who ask her out were only interested in sex. So naturally, I say: -->'''Troper:''' Well, ''I'' Don't want to have sex with you. --> [[BeatPanel * beat* ]] --> '''Troper:''' I'll just go over there. * This Troper would like to cite this trope as an argument against his consumption of alcohol. His friends would like to cite it as an argument ''in favour'' of it. ** Few things are funnier than two people Digging Themselves Deeper with each other at the same time. * A short one, but: One time I went to a friend's house after a rough night of babysitting. When I realized how edgy I'd become - barking at my friends, I tried to explain. First that I'd been babysitting, fine; then, how I generally enjoy kids, only that with these kids, I had trouble doing several hours at a go and would've done better with just a small period of time. So, what came out was: -->"I mean, I like kids, but I like them better in pieces." ''(Wait. Rephrase.)'' "I mean, in ''sections''." * [[BertieDastard This troper]] has a tendency to do this, both on purpose, and by accident. When he does it on purpose, he'll keep adding to something he says, stretching the comment from innocent right into cringe-worthy. He also does the same when he does it by

accident, to the point where even he isn't sure which is which. He knows when he starts doing it, though, 'cause his friends'll say 'you want a jcb or a shovel for that hole?' * [[EternallyAnonymous One time]], strolling the mall with a friend, we pass a dress shop that she likes, and comments on getting her Grad dress there. I responded that I got mine (My suit) piece-meal, and missing only a single beat, I added "Not my dress though, I got that all at once." We had a good laugh afterwards. * I keep getting close to it, and I succeed at digging myself out. I just stay perfectly hones at all times and it works. * This troper's bisexual brother was telling her about how awful the guys in his class were, and she said, "You know what? You're gonna have to deal with a ton of dicks in your life. I mean, assholes. I mean..." He almost died laughing. * This troper best remembers seeing that a friend got a hair cut that didn't seem to fit her well in this troper's opinion. Turns out she should have waited to find out how the friend felt about the hair before saying anything: "What happened to your hair!?" "...What? I... liked it." "I... guess it looks okay. Just not on you-* realization* ." "Oh gee, thanks. I see who my friends are." "No! I meant that it doesn't really fit your personality and style and-." "No, no, I'm just gonna go over here where my real friends are." "...* facepalm* " * This troper usually realises before digging too deep, and manages to get out by virtue of being such a CloudCuckooLander that her friends expect just about every conversation to go this way at some point, another friend isn't as lucky, she tends to keep digging as quickly as she can until she ends up a flailing, embarressed wreck, or someone yells at her to [[SharePhrase dig up, stupid!]], to the point that [[FootInMouthDisease it's been hypothosised that she only opens her mouth to change feet]] * Happens quite often to [[{{Trkzsoup}} this troper]], given her tendency to ramble and a generally rather haphazard train of thought. "...that's not what I meant" is the frequent follow-up to this conversational derailment. * This troper was having a conversation about "shudder" Jedward. Apparently they don't drink milk, for some strange reason. I wondered how many "deluded fangirls" had sworn off milk as a result of this. They responded they had. I replied "when I said "deluded", I meant... something less insulting". * Happens to [[Tropers/{{Bookhobbit}} this troper]] ALL. THE. TIME. This is partly because she's very prone to ThatCameOutWrong and rambling, and partly because she's a pedantic, so if she feels her meaning is unclear, she'll go on along rambling spiel trying to clarify it. Usually this just succeeds in muddying the waters. A typical example, from when she was on vacation and talking to her dad on the phone, went something like this: --->'''Troper''': Okay, see you later. Well, not actually later. Well, yeah, I guess it is kind of later, but much later, since it's not for a week. I guess it really depends on how you define later. know what, love you, see you lat- uh *hangs up phone* * This troper had a real gem recently at work. One of his coworkers is adorable, and this troper is afflicted with severe

PerverseAsexualCuddlelust for him. Add that into a tendency to talk to himself, and you have a bit of a recipe for disaster: "Hey, [Name removed]! How are you doing? I was just talking to myself about you. I do that a lot. Talk to myself, I mean. Not always about you. But sometimes about you. But I talk to myself about my other coworkers too, so you shouldn't feel awkward. And I never answer, or hold conversations with myself, so that probably means I'm not crazy. At least I don't think so. Then again, if I was really crazy, would I think I was? Probably not. You don't think I'm crazy, though, do you? *Laughs slightly desperately* I'll just stop talking now." * [[@/{{Miar}} This troper.]] [[{{Understatement}} Far too often.]] About 1/3 of what he says, even. His thought process and tendency to ramble about anything causes trouble, especially with friends and relatives. * FlyingFerret has a huge tendency to do this. The most recent time, I tried to make sense of an article on economic problems in the European Union. I ended up with "so, basically it's not on life support, but it may have cancer?" * This lesbian troper's best friend got herself into this situation after making a "JustinBieber is gay" joke around me. She got embarresed and tried to justify it. At it's height: --> Friend: Look, I only think he's gay because I hate him! --> Me: You're not helping yourself here! --> Friend: [[CringeComedy I know! I'm sorry!!]] ->She genuinely seemed like she hadn't realized the implications of Justin-Bieber-is-gay jokes until that conversation, so I wasn't too mad at her, though. * I try to (or accidentally) subvert this by whenever saying something into AccidentalPervert or UnfortunateImplications territory, I just mind my own business, while people look, something jaw-dropped at me. I nonchalantly turn to them after 5-10 seconds and go "What?" If they keep doing it, I just go on "WHAT???" They prefer to leave it at that. * At a camp one time This Troper, another camper, and a counselor went into a store where they were selling stuffed animal sperm (seriously). The other female camper thought they were cute and wanted to get one, but was out of money. So she tried to get the male counselor to lend her some money. The following conversation went something like this: --> Camper: [[InnocentInnuendo Can I have some money to get sperm?]] --> Counselor: What?! --> Camper: No, I meant will you buy me sperm! --> Counselor: What?!?! --> Camper: NO NO NO! I meant I want sperm! --> Counselor: (laughing) You want to try saying that again? --> Camper: NOOOOOOO! --> Me: (Choking on laughter) ** This went on for a few more minutes, and I'm pretty sure she started doing it on purpose at some point. Funniest thing I've ever seen. ---So let that be a lesson- never dig yourself into a hole. Not an Ahole, I mean a hole, I mean I guess an asshole is a hole but not the sort of hole that you want to dig into... not that there's anything

wrong with that, just saying you probably don't want to end up [[DiggingYourselfDeeper elbow deep in an anus]]. * This troper has a friend like this. Let's call him Ted for now. Once in a class conversation about Justin Bieber, this troper's other friend (we'll call him Jim) turns to her and says, "Phoebe, I would get involved in this discussion, but now that Ted has gotten involved, it's best to just drop it right now, because once Ted starts digging a hole, he will never dig himself out." ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DigitalBikini * In a store once I was looking at picture frames, and one of the photographs was a beach scene. I realized that the bikini in the photographs had been drawn on the photograph with a marker. ---Click [[DigitalBikini here]] to give those girls some modesty. Wait what... ----

DigitalPiracyIsEvil * [[Tropers.ReikoKazama This troper]] has a pirated version of [[SpyroTheDragon Spyro 3: Year Of The Dragon]] (cracked by a group called Paradox), which allows her to - if she so chooses, which she usually does - become invincible, have unlimited lives, and be able to get all the eggs and gems in the game without actually collecting them just by pressing the shoulder buttons. Unfortunately, this version will not let her battle [[BigBad the Sorceress]] the first time around, instead glitching out and [[NoFairCheating returning me to Sunrise Spring Home with no eggs or gems]] in some bizarre fusion of the balloon (which takes you to Midday Gardens after defeating Buzz) and the rocket (which takes you to Midnight Mountain after defeating Scorch). This prevents me from accessing the Sparx worlds and getting OneHundredPercentCompletion, and has led me to believe that the only way to do so is to use no cheats at all or play a legitimate copy. Oddly enough, all my other pirated games are fine. * Back in the old days of computers, back before the Internet was big, there was the commodore 64, and other 8 bit computers. And there was much piracy. The thing is, the pirated versions were BETTER than the originals. Did a game keep a high score list and not save it? Well, the pirated version would make it save the high scores to the disk. Game UnWinnable because of some bugs? Not after the pirates got through with it. The pirated version also wouldn't rattle your disk drive, would often take up fewer disks, load much faster, and have optional trainers (but disable high score saving when you used them). No matter how good the protection was, people would crack it as a matter of pride. Oh, and there's the matter of the games from countries with a different video standard that wouldn't run on your computer at all. The pirates would NTSC-fix them to work, which often

required MAJOR reprogramming. Digital piracy is evil? ** Not to mention that some of the pirate "title screens" they created were actually pretty impressive for an 8-bit computer... ** Something similar can be said about the Wii's Virtual Console. While, let's say, NES VC games are several megabytes long, the respective roms are merely kilobytes, which is really healthy for a console with only 512mb of internal memory. And those roms can be easily played on the console via homebrew, with the emulator that supports things like saving snapshots (that's pretty useful in games where you're supposed to write down long passwords to go on) and playing with lots of control schemes -simultaneously-. And you can configure them as you wish. That aspect is even more enhanced with SNES/Genesis games; in VC, if I'm not mistaken, you can only play them with Gamecube and Classic controllers; in an emulator, you have the generic nunchuck + wiimote avaliable too! Another funny aspect of the Wii is that, apparently, using homebrews make your console safer than, say, updating your console via Nintendo (even with no homebrews); it has been reported that some un-modded consoles BRICKED upon installation of the new System Menu. Digital piracy is evil? *** The PS3 version of GunstarHeroes is 35 MB. The ROM for the Genesis version is 1 MB, and the only difference between the two versions is an annoying frontend that doesn't let you watch the intro properly or use the ingame menus. * If Steam (Or someone else) ever started selling download-to-own cars (ones that you can actually drive IRL, not one for a game), I would probably buy one. So yes, I [[TakeThat WOULD download a car.]] * [[{{Tropers/HG131}} My]] opinion on it used to be that music was ok to pirate, but not other things. However, recently, I've just stopped giving a damn about a lot of things (basically, I've always known how shitty the world is, but until recently I've had hope it might one day be better. Not anymore), so I'm fine with everything being pirated. Ironically, the above mentioned reasoning in the parenthesis came during a speech to my my own father about how crappy the world is. * This troper remembered Pirating both [[{{Commandandconquer}} Tiberian sun]], [[{{commandandconquer}} Tiberian dawn]] And [[{{Commandandconquer}} Renegade]] it wasn't until the release of Tiberian Twighlight that the former 2 became freeware (Rendering being convicted of Piracy invalid). Renegade...not so much * [[{{Magus}} This troper]] often calls his friends who do such digital piracy "dirty thieving brigands". All in a spirit of humor, of course. ** Arrr! * This troper's entire family is pirates, although his dad will only watch something pirated if it's good quality (DVDRip, R5, Workprint, PPVrip, etc.) A very big chunk of his life is guilt-free downloading. ** Same troper here- his high school teachers, when showing a movie, would download it and show it as opposed to renting it. * An interesting example happened to [[DaNuke Da_Nuke]]. When the Canadian exchange girl was at her house, she ''never'' downloaded a single song, in Canada, where doing so is a crime. She moves to Mexico, a place where ordinary piracy is culturally ''encouraged'' and where digital piracy will probably never be enforced, and next thing

we know, she was downloading entire discographies. ** In Canada, downloading is still a legal gray matter; however, uploading is illegal. *** Actually, both uploading and downloading (more generally 'sharing') of music is all pretty grey, and most courts would have a hard time really convicting anyone, considering the taxes we pay (specifically said to be for this reason) on all recordable media. *** I believe it's only illegal if money is involved somewhere. (selling burnt [=DVDs=] for instance) **** Oh yes, that's definitely illegal. If there is no money, then it's a bit more grey. **** Actually, uploads are illegal while downloads are legal. It's the difference between distributing copies (uploading) and making a copy for yourself (downloading). The latter is technically fine because the Canadian equivalent of the [[BigBad RIAA]] gets a cut of the tax that's part of the price of recordable tapes and discs. They are, of course, trying their damnedest to get this 'fixed'. As far as this troper knows, though, it only applies to ''music'', not video. **** Music is 100% fine to download under Canadian law. (There is a specific exception in the copyright act for it, and a levy is placed on all blank media that goes to pay musical artists). Other kinds of downloading are technically legal, in that they aren't explicitly illegal. (In the last case that involved this kind of thing, the supreme court decided to put any decision on the legality off until more lawsuits about it rolled in). In any case, the head of the RCMP is on record as saying that they don't care about people who download stuff for their own use. They only care about people who distribute pirated works for cash. * [[{{Jonn}} This troper]] honestly thinks that piracy is a [[{{Understatement}} Very Bad Thing]]. Ironically, he lives in a country where the vast majority of people pirate their [=DVDs=] and music. And it's only a few minutes away from Florida. This actually strengthened his conviction, especially when people argue that piracy is justified if the pirate lives outside the US and Europe and [[UnfortunateImplications has to wait]] for the media. ** It's also justified when the country where the item originates from ''refuses'' to have it exported...[[NoExportforYou EVER!]] *** Did you just say "I want, therefore I'll have"? *** I thinks they meant "I can't buy it legally anywhere, so I'll get it illegally". This troper ''used'' to think like that before she found a site shipping to her country. * This troper used to download some from limeWire in high school, but doesn't anymore. And is also a big anime fan but doesn't watch fansubs or download them. She just sticks to anime YouTube channels, Hulu and Funimaition's Video Portal. If she likes it, she'll buy it, and feels very proud of her small, but steadily growing anime collection, most of which was bought because of legal alternatives and not piracy. However, she does sometimes download comic issues, because she doesn't want to pay three bucks an issue when she knows they'll put them out in trade paperbacks, which she ends up buying anyway. Otherwise, she looks for comics at the library. * This troper chanted this for two whole years of middle school and

her freshmen year of high school whenever someone told her that they got their Ipod/MP3 music from Limewire. ** [[{{Jonn}} This troper]] is the same in the level one bullet above, and I don't even bother anymore, largely because he'd run out of breath. One of his coworkers-who is a dick-makes a point of passiveaggressively pointing out he would burn me a copy of X game, CD, or movie, if only I pirated. He also points out whenever I so much as ''look'' at anything pirated in his presence. *** This troper shares the troper above's pain. And probably displayed terrible grammar in that last sentence. * I can only add [[ this]]. * Being a strong believer in following the law, yet being surrounded by people who don't, I find myself being the deliverer of this trope. I'm not a KnightsTemplar, so I'll gladly watch something that I know is downloaded if I visit a friend, but I'm against doing so myself. Then again, the pressure from friends, random strangers, adults, teachers (!) and internet denziens is downright annoying. I have, uh, ''experienced'' before, but the bad conscience means I don't anymore. ** Wow, you watch something that's downloaded when you're at a friend's house to keep your conscience clean. At least your friends are more honest about it. *** I never said that I keep my conscience clean, and I don't particularly like watching things that other people have pirated either, but there's a difference between doing things I believe in (or in this case, not doing things I don't believe in) and being a huge asshole to all my friends. [[SarcasmMode It's not like I hate myself for not managing to hold myself to the standards I know I should hold myself to. No no. Not at all.]] ** I know how you feel. At first, like everybody I know, I didn't give a crap, but then I started to find music that I really loved, and artists that I really wanted to support. I justified downloading because I used to live out in the middle of nowhere, and I had no money. Now that I have both an income and somewhere to get [[TheyMightBeGiants great]] [[TomLehrer semi-obscure]] music, I try to never download anything. ** This troper manages to find lots of good music for free ''without'' piracy. *** This troper salutes you. ** Knowing how much of a CorruptCorporateExecutive a record label can sometime be, [[DaNuke Da_Nuke]] actually ''prides'' himself in stealing from the evil record labels. Nine Inch Nails's album "The Slip" is the proof that record labels are obsolete and doomed to disappear. *** So your justification for stealing from artists is that they're already being robbed by record labels? Real classy... ** I'm pretty much like the 1st guy in this part. I don't do it but have no problem with other people doing it as long as they know it's illegal. This is more because I have a rule that I will never inform the authorities about anything that doesn't directly effect me (like if someone steals my stuff I will call the cops, but not if someone shoplifts). If they want to fuck themselves over it's their business.

* In truth, I want digital piracy to either be legalized or criminalized. If the entertainment industry (or, more importantly, the entertainers and developers) really aren't being hurt by the downloading, then the option should be made freely available to everyone without guilt. Or, if there really is damage being done by the people who do this, then people should be incurring severe fines and/or jail time to the point that anyone who actually does so is aware of the risk they're taking. What I can't stand is the current situation, where the thought process is "downloading these files is bad and wrong, but there's no reason not to do so, and you're an idiot if you don't". Or worse, "it's okay for me to download these for free, but other people should still pay for them." ** This is the way of all victimless "crimes". Nobody gets hurt, therefore nobody is around to report it, therefore the law rarely gets enforced. Theoretically, the penalties for digital piracy are severe. On the books, Copyright violation is, in theory, a criminal offense (hence the FBI, CIA, Interpol, etc. warnings on media products). In reality, it's unenforceable... and unnecessary. Copying information is not the same thing as taking stuff, and, in fact, the only way to protect one's monopoly in information is to violate another's stuff. Which is more wrong? *** I'd say the people who started the whole thing. You know, ''pirates''? *** It's not victimless. The people who would have retailed the media are now losing revenue. UNFAIRNESS! **** I've heard some piracy advocates argue that most pirates wouldn't pay for the stuff anyway. Which means the ones that would are losing the retailer's money, and the ones that wouldn't are taking stuff without permission that they have no intention of paying for. I think we have a word for that. ***** I've also heard advocates insist that "This is the age of information, all information should be free, it wants to be." Alright, by your logic, your own personal private information wants to be free because it should be - fork it over." Insert counterargument on how personal info doesn't count. ****** It doesn't count and shouldn't, and the two should be considered separate, everyone still has their right to privacy. * [[@/GamerFromJump This troper]] only uses [=ROMs=] to avert NoExportForYou, and to play games for which I actually own the source media (several from the cartridge era of gaming, like ''Power Blade'' and ''Super Mario All-Stars''). I guess decrypting [=LIT=] ebooks would count to some people, but I ''paid for those''! And anyone who thinks ripping a purchased CD to an iPod is piracy is just going to have their face laughed in. Of course, mostly I shop at iTunes and cut out the disc altogether. ** This Troper will second that- he will only download [=ROMs=] of games he could never get legally. {{Earthbound}}, we're looking at you. *** Do the kill switches built into Earthbound trigger when it's played on [=ZSNES=]? I haven't tried it. *** I haven't had any issues. ** This troper used to do this quite often with arcade games that

lacked home ports, or had ports that either [[PortingDisaster blowed]] or were different from the arcade original, such as ''{{Area 88}}''/''U.N. Squadron''. He still does it today with the Japanarcade-only ''{{Tetris}}: The Grand Master'' series and ''TGM'' clones, because he's not buying a Japanese Xbox 360 for a console installment that's [[GaidenGame not even a real TGM game]]. * This troper didn't even know file-sharing was illegal until he came across the trope here. * This troper admits to pirating music and ROMs, but will try to buy a game or CD when she gets the money. Personally, I don't like it when people pirate things they can easily buy domestically because they're too cheap. I have a friend that does this and it's become a running joke that if he gets sued for piracy, that he'd try to find a torrent of a lawyer. ** This troper is the same. She actually got into an argument with a friend because he couldn't get why she wanted to support Studio Ghibli by waiting for their movies to be released on DVD. * [[EddieVanHelsing This troper]] only resorts to bootlegs (he refuses to call it "pirate") under four circumstances: ** A legal copy is unavailable because it was never exported. ** A legal copy cannot be purchased because it's abandonware. ** He already has a legal copy, and is downloading a cracked bootleg to get around DRM. *** So you buy a legal copy without checking to see if it has DRM, and ''then'' download a crack, which as far as the producers know is no different from someone downloading it without the game, thus further "justifying" DRM? [[SarcasmMode Good for you]]! **** There's this delightful little website called "Google" that I use to determine if a title I want has DRM, before I buy it. If there's no mention of DRM, then I have no reason to download a cracked bootleg to go with my legit, shrinkwrapped retail copy. Google's really awesome; [[SarcasmMode you should try using it.]] **** Not to mention that some of the DRM is outright ridiculous. SecuROM takes the cake. "Thank you for buying our game! As thanks, you have to reactivate the game every ten days or you won't be able to play. Also you're only allowed to install three times. And we'll mess up your computer." Thankfully EA removed the "ten days" thing, but still. I fully understand wanting to protect your games against piracy, but basically punishing the people who bought it isn't the way to do it. *** ''Cough'' This Troper bought MassEffect legally, but downloaded a cracked copy rather than install the ''virus'' that they refer to as copy protection. And I knew full well what I was doing. ** He already has a legal copy, but that copy is unplayable for assorted reasons. * This troper began his long history of digital piracy when he was 10 years old with ROMs for the SNES and NES; back at that time, he didn't know that what he did was illegal (tough he knew it wasn't morally good). * This troper tends to simply justify his regular acts of piracy by concluding that a company like [[DungeonsAndDragons Wizards of the Coast]] a) can probably afford a few illegally downloaded 4th edition

books (which are far less convenient on computer anyway) and b) isn't selling 3.5 books anymore. Of course, he had a medium-sized guilt trip after reading the "If You Downloaded This Book" section in the CthulhuTech rulebook; this proves that he only feels guilty about digital piracy ''if the company acknowledges it's a problem''. If WOTC want to bury their heads in the sand, he'll gleefully take their materials. ** Although he does tend to eventually buy most of the materials he pirates, because the books are more convenient. *** This troper feels like an idiot whenever he buys the books since all his gaming group have pirate downloads of them. True books are more convenient, but they're way more expensive. He now has pirate scans of all the books he paid for (thanks to his gaming group) which are more convenient (as long as I have access to a computer) simply because they all fit on a flash drive. I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about this since I've already forked out money for the hardcopies. ** You know what I really ''really'' wish someone would do? Make some kind of software that has all of the rulesets and updates from any given edition of a tabletop game so that I don't have to either scan through a PDF ''page by page'' or go over to a bookshelf and take out a rulebook and see what I want. Seriously; I'd ''thank'' whoever did that. * This troper is in a strange gray zone, in that he's just too damn lazy to bother pirating the music, and would rather just ask for a given band's CD for Christmas or his birthday. That said, he ''does'' listen to music on YouTube, which has become his default CD player when he only wants to listen to specific songs. Similarly, he's also too lazy to bother trying to figure out how to pirate music or movies he might otherwise like, and is perfectly happy to spend the money to get it. This is the same attitude he has regarding hiring a plumber, electrician, or mechanic if he ever has to deal with maintenance problems-why bother doing it himself and royally screw up, when he can just pay someone who actually knows what the hell they're doing to do it for him? * The interesting thing to consider, of course, is that the people who go after you for downloading MP3s often aren't the artists, but the [[CorruptCorporateExecutive RIAA execs]] who've managed to manipulate contracts and laws pertaining thereto such that only they themselves profit, rather than the artists. This troper will gladly start shelling out $40 a CD... When someone starts legitimately allowing him to do so without getting a disc that has one song he wants and eleven he doesn't. Otherwise, he'll settle for downloading songs and sending checks to the artists. Pay the creators, not the distributers. And as to software? He's of the belief that companies who want to complain about people ripping off their games shouldn't give people a reason to do so - I.E. don't stop selling them, or putting in DRM nonsense that causes more trouble for legit buyers than pirates. ** The problem regarding a lack of good songs on CD would have easily been resolved if CD singles were still around. People get to listen to the song they want, record companies get money, and nothing is pirated.

*** CD singles are still released in the UK, but account for a minority of music sales these days. ** ''$40?!'' That said, you have a point about the majority of the money going to the record execs instead of the people who, you know, actually ''made'' the music. ** That's like saying it's wrong for the people who invested in a company to get the profits. Breaking a band costs a TON of money, in short, there's a lot more into it ( and the bands know this ) than just making and selling music. Bands are like businesses, record companies are providing investment capitol and expected to be paid back. To be fair, it is arguable whether some of their charges are reasonable, but as a concept it makes sense. * This troper's happy to download individual songs her friends recommend or put on fan soundtracks, and has actually ''bought'' a couple [=CDs=] because of this. Anything else, she won't pirate unless it's a [[CopyProtection Sims 2 expansion]] or impossible to purchase legally. Also, video game soundtracks (which tend to fall into the "unable to purchase" category anyway) tend not to count in her mind. * This troper rips audio from YouTube without a shred of guilt, because hey, it's on the internet for free already, amirite? However, she refuses to use LimeWire any more. * This troper is just sad that the state of piracy has fallen to such low standards. Seriously, you're not a *real* media pirate unless you plow your pirate ship into a Best Buy and pillage it of all its [=DVD=]s, games, and [=CDs=]. Yo ho ho, you little pansies! ** This troper would gladly do so, if it wasn't for the fact that landgoing pirate ships are kind of obvious when it comes to crime. ** If I owned a Best Buy and someone tried that, I'd ''let'' them pillage everything. Actually, no, first I'd try to give them as fun a fight as possible, but still let them win, and throw them some candy on their way out. *** [[{{Yinyang107}} Seconded.]] * This troper only pirates things that are out of print (because the publisher gets exactly the same return from him downloading as from him buying second-hand) or unavailable where he lives (because it's not a lost sale if they never intended to sell it to him in the first place), but thinks anti-piracy has gone way over the top these days. * This Troper once referred to someone who pirated a well-known video game as having "fallen to the dark side", and proceeded to have an overly long conversation full of Star Wars puns with him. * This Troper justifies piracy by pointing out that movies and music are merely long numbers, and you shouldn't really expect to make money by selling people numbers. Although he did pay for The Sword's first two albums after he realized how awesome they were. Then he ripped them to FLAC, since they're still just numbers, and keeping them on the original [=CDs=] is very inconvenient. ** My word, you're a caricature. I'd like your name, address, bank account and credit card number, since they are, after all, just numbers on a computer, or ink on paper. * To [[NotSoBadassLongcoat this troper]], digital piracy is not evil just a royal pain in the ass when it comes to making the games work. He also had some kicks out of telling his gullible neighbor that

modding his XBox to play pirated games will brick the console. [[DidNotDoTheResearch He's right]], because [[AssPull the information comes from a credible source]], right? * If I'm thinking of buying a CD, I usually pirate it and if I like it, I'll buy it legally. If I don't, why should I pay for something not intended for me? Also, I really wonder why it's legal to copy CD's with DRM for personal purposes but not DVD's. I also pirate stuff that's definitely not reaching my country (meaning most anime). * To my mind, there is a lot of stuff out there (mostly television, movies and music) that I simply refuse to pay for. I'm only rarely opposed to watching/listening to these things, I simply am not going to pay good money for a sub-par product. At the same time, I have downloaded movies which I would never have seen otherwise that I'll later buy because I enjoyed the movie so much. I'll pay for good quality and not regret it for a second, but I don't feel bad at all for not paying for things I don't actually want much. I guess what I'm saying is that I purchase more due to digital piracy than I would without it. ** For each story along these lines, I can talk about a people I've spoken to online, ''people I respect'', who have said things like "I was looking forward to buying this game. Then I found out they're releasing it in Europe a week before the US. This is an insult, so I'm going to download the game and not pay for it." Or "I've read reviews of ''Mario Kart Wii'', and I'm not going to support Nintendo for releasing such a broken mess. Still, I want to play it, so..." There are many people who will download things for free that they would have settled for buying if they didn't have an alternative. And given the option, they'll say ''anything'' to justify their right to not pay for it. But rarely to justify not playing it. It's all about entitlement... ** Well, what those reasons people are very different from the reasons stated by the fellow Troper. The previous Troper admitted to wanting to buy something only if they think it's good, not because "it doesn't come out for the console they want". They never said anything about games, in the first place. Also you have no proof that they would have bought it if they didn't have an alternative, as this troper knows plenty of people who don't have the means to pirate said video games but refuse to buy it while secretly wanting to play it, and guess what? They don't buy it. Never underestimate fanhate. I generally agree with the opening troper as for, This troper is an anime fan, and has been since they were still released on VHS, and in order to watch a new anime, I would literally go by the description on the box. What ended up happening was that I often ended up paying at least $30 for a 4 episode anime, that I wound up hating. Until I learned how to download and watch anime onlline, I would spend up to $90 a year on anime alone (what? the economy was good back then), of the selection that I bought I only liked 1 or two of them if I was lucky (this was before box set releases). Then I found out how to download free anime online I would use that as a test to see if I liked the series enough to buy it or if I would want to claw my eyes out from watching it. I still buy anime I just only buy what I like. * [[TsundeRay This troper]], at a friend's birthday party, overheard a

couple guys talking about [[NintendoDS R4]]s and how they have hundreds of games on theirs. When said troper pulled out his DS game case, said guys were surprised to find out that he "actually" buys DS games. Now, I don't mind people who pirate as long as they are aware of the taboos of pirating and do buy legit copies if it's affordable, but when you're of the "buying commerical works is dumb, you should just download it for free" mindset, ''especially'' if your wallet can afford legitimate copies... * [[{{Rogue 7}} This Troper]] justifies his piracy (which is honestly fairly infrequent, if you don't count reading manga scans illegally online) by stating that he's poor and cheap, so there's no way that he's going to pay for this stuff regardless. He figures it's better to be a fan and encourage other people to get interested in the products so that they might buy it rather than not do anything at all. Doesn't change that it's illegal, but he doesn't particularly care. ** This is pretty much my MO when it comes to piracy. With an addendum that most of the anime subs I watch are either finished series (meaning I'd have to get [=DVD=]s, which would blow if it turned out I didn't like a series), or stuff I eventually plan on purchasing at some time in the future (Basically meaning I'm planning on paying back my tab). A friend of mine when completely legit with her anime watching, and I told her "Yeah, I'd do that, except in most cases, it's either I watch illegally or not at all", seeing as how I have neither the money nor inclination to pay atm. To be fair, I do watch tons of stuff legally when I can online, through services like Hulu. * At this troper's college, piracy is the fifth highest reason people get kicked out of dorm housing, after things like drinking or assault. This troper plays fast and loose and pirates anyway, because she pays for most of her music and mostly downloads TV shows, which the school cares less about, because she cannot make a job work with her school schedule just to afford exorbitant DVD boxset prices. (Her college doesn't have medical amnesty, either. [[SarcasmMode We're very progressive.]]) * This Troper has no problems whatsoever with piracy, since copyright is just an unnecessary massive honour system that everyone will never agree on. Between performances, commissions, benefaction, etc there's no reason to stop people doing whatever they want with digital things they own. Yes, that's right - OWN. * This Troper was first introduced to a number of artists through illegal downloads. Some aren't worth buying, or even keeping. Some are worth keeping, but might or might not be worth buying (I haven't decided yet). And in one case, I first collected many of the artist's songs, then paid her via her website's tip jar, then eventually bought the albums through iTunes. Heather Alexander, in case you're wondering. * This Troper knew a girl who was totally opposed to piracy, since she was a musician and saw the use of her music without request or acknowledgment as the theft of her intellectual property. Of course she has no problem with accepting burned [=CDs=] and [=DVD=]s from others. I guess it depends whether you are the victim or the beneficiary as to whether you consider it evil. * I buy music if it's available legally by the song. I don't want to

pay for an entire CD if I only want a handful of songs, nor do I want to jump through hoops to get my music. I'm all for supporting the artists I like, but sometimes that just isn't easy or even possible. I don't even see it as illegal if [[KeepCirculatingTheTapes piracy is the only option]]. * This troper is a total film nerd, but doesn't live near New York or LA, so doesn't even get the opportunity to legally see a lot of limited release, indie, or OscarBait movies before they come out on DVD (which is often months to a year after they come out in theaters). Thus, piracy. * This troper, who watched Star Trek growing up, believes piracy is, in fact, the future. Watch TNG and be amazed at how they download food, yes, food, for free! (never mind movies, music and tea in the mug of your choice) ** According to certain AlternateCharacterInterpretation[=s=], the Federation is technically Communist. *** Actually it was a Socialist Utopia. * This troper ({{Dark Lady Celebrian}}) has gotten into arguments with some people she knew over the subject of emulators and torrents. I am strictly against torrenting and piracy while these two girls basically lived on it. Cue many, many arguments about the evils of torrents and emulators. * One of this troper's friends justifies his piracy in the main by the fact that it's usually for his ... uh ... [[PornStash private collection]] ... and therefore that he is actually contributing in some way to the fight against said industry by denying it profits. * This troper tends to pirate. He justifies this by being a college student with no money. His policy: pirated material while not objectively okay is at the very least a 'zero-sum' game. Nine out of ten times, the things he torrents are not things he would have spent money on to see, and he is not depriving anyone else of their chance to go and see it. His downloads tend to be either music or anime/comicbooks/manga. In the case of an 'indie' developer/artist, he will make all efforts to purchase the damn thing (Scott Pilgrim, World of Goo.) This is the ONLY reason he hasn't played Braid yet. Finally, even though I torrent without regret, it is only about 20% of my total media use. I do buy things, own a TV and rely of free/ad-supported giveouts. I'm lo g free legal alternatives (Hulu, lastFm., * This troper has only pirated things that A) Are no longer available (IE, NES Games) or B) he already owns a copy of, but said copy has been damage. This was especially true when not only was the copy damage, but my CD-ROM drive was damage too, so having a physical copy ''wouldn't actually fix anything''. * This troper has his a sort of code when it comes to downloading/watching on Veoh: "How much does the industry need my money?" So it goes: ** Movies/TV/Music: Anything goes. ** Porn: (that is, downloading episodes ripped from paysites) Anything goes. ** Anime: I'll only watch the first episode online to see if I would like it. If I do, I'll buy it. ** Comics: Only old stuff. If it's something I can get in the comic

shop or order from the company website, I buy it. If it's something I would have to go on Amazon/Ebay/etc for, I download it. ** Video Games: Again, only old stuff. However, I will usually buy the VC version if it's available, simply because I'd prefer to play it on a larger screen in my nice recliner. * This Troper used to pirate quite a bit, but has since stopped, started getting rid of every piece of warez in his possession and spent a lot money buying stuff he has previously pirated. Pirating just doesn't feel right anymore. He's also developed a paranoid streak. Still, he feels very little sympathy for the RIAA and their ilk. And in any category, any case of NoExportForYou is up for grabs. * This Troper agrees that individuals really can't screw over musicians any more than a corporate recording label already has. However, he tries to get a commensurate amount of money to struggling artists, especially if they're independent. One of his favorite indie labels, the now-defunct Merck Records, went under for lack of profit. Since Merck Records was by and large a bunch of guys from the old {{Demoscene}} who made retro-sounding techno music, pretty much all of their fans were internet-savvy enough to pirate their music, and it's alleged that this contributed to their money problems. * Heavy subversion - Most small time musicians NEED to distribute their songs over torrents to get anyone to listen to them. Most radio stations only play Top 40 due to the fact that you can buy a single license to all play Top 40 hits. How do they make money? Live concerts, merchandise and personally having fun with their fans (often involving pizza parties). Sounds like a great arrangement for both sides. * This troper tends not to pirate much, but sincerely believes that [[ThreeChordsAndTheTruth getting the big money out of the entertainment industry]] would be the best thing ever to happen to it. * Inversion: The ''{{Touhou}}'' fanbase. This troper's been made fun of by a friend for having attempted to buy one of the games: "Who the hell BUYS a ''Touhou'' game?" ** For the longest time I didn't even know that Touhou Project was not something meant to be downloaded for free. * This troper, after years of buying used, older games that have long gone out of print, has realized that that sort of stuff is absolutely pointless, especially for games that are emulated. He bought a [[{{Horrible/VideoGames}} Sega Saturn]] at Fanime for $55 and now wants to [[strike:sell it]] smash it to pieces, as nearly every game that he wants for it is either already emulated (''BattleGaregga'', ''{{RayForce}}'') and/or prohibitively expensive (''RadiantSilvergun''). * This troper is in the process of a 12-step program he designed to gradually free himself from all illegal downloading. First he declared he would not download anything that he can legally obtain in this country (buying it on eBay doesn't count). Then he declared he would not partake in anything that other people downloaded that falls under this category. Then he declared he would not download anything that ''will eventually'' become obtainable here (such as television series that haven't started airing here or will eventually show up in

Blockbuster). Then he declared that he would also ban anything downloaded via torrent, because the people he uploads to are likely not operating under said restrictions. His expected next step: setting a price limit (anything that costs under X to ship here, I won't download). He's hoping that, by the end, he'll have the courage to take the biggest and hardest step of all: deleting everything he'd downloaded before accepting those restrictions. ** You're the industries biggest friend, if everyone had acted like this iTunes wouldn't have happened, Hulu wouldn't have happened and Netflix wouldn't have happened. Why innovate if there's no incentive to do so? at least piracy gives them a reason to adapt to the internet. *** [[SocialDarwinist That makes it alright, then?]]t. **** [[UtopiaJustifiesTheMeans Yes.]] ***** Well, if you fully admit to signing up for that sort of ideology, my work is done here. ****** There's no reason not to in a lot of countries. Sadly most digital distribution is limited to the USA and it's not gonna change unless the people give them a reason to change that. ******* And I (the original poster) actually do live in one of those countries. Which is why the first steps I took involved limiting things to what I can't purchase here. I have very little objection to pirating things that I can't get anyway. Unfortunately, with the advent of eBay and international shipping, the line becomes rather quickly blurred, and in practice there's very little I can't actually obtain legally if I wanted to. ** And you are doing this because...? *** [[BeingGoodSucks Because it's the right thing to do.]] * This troper only loots things he can't buy normally, such as limited print run stuff and most Adult Swim cartoons. Hey, I'd happily buy them if they'd put them on a DVD formatted for my region. * This troper downloads as a way to discover bands, movies, etc that he normally wouldn't be able to check, and happily purchases the product if he enjoys it. * [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] downloads [=ROMs=] of games mainly as a way of trying out games for his older systems (Seeing as you can't rent games for them anymore). Nowadays, he still uses emulators from time to time; usually to try out a level hack of a favorite game, try out a game he's never played before, or for challenge runs requiring use of GameGenie codes (Seeing as he don't have one for some of his systems), though he still prefers to buy an original copy of the game whenever possible. * It seems like the old [[ asking nicely]] technique doesn't work very well to prevent piracy, seeing as this screenshot was taken from a pirated movie. * DesertDragon's only rule against piracy is to not steal anything indie. LadyGaga will not lose her mansion because I downloaded the three songs off ''The Fame Monster'' that I liked. However, independent bands and filmmakers actually need the support, and even if their stuff ''was'' easy to find on bootleg, I'd feel much better actually buying it.

* This Troper is a pirate, and all my friends know it. (Hell, I wear a button that essentially advocates it.) I don't feel guilty about it, because I know that most of my money wouldn't go to the artists anyway. Plus, most of the bands I listen to are okay with it. * This troper kinda agrees. He can't avoid piracy at times - his games are either downloaded, pirated or (only for his GameCube) used (because original games are ''really'' expensive in his country), he downloads lots of songs (and sometimes burns some MP3 songs as regular audio [=CDs=]), sometimes watches movies from borrowed pirated [=DVD=]s and due to horrible showtimes watched the first three seasons of ''Heroes'' on borrowed pirated disks. But he still buys [=CDs=], doesn't download movies or TV shows (That stuff was meant to be watched on a TV, not a computer! Even those ''Heroes'' [=DVD=]s were played on my TV!) or buy pirate [=DVD=]s - theater, video rental, TV or buying the regular one are good enough - and even though bootleg transcripts/translations of the two last Harry Potter books were on the net, he still waited the four months before the book release in his country. Sometimes, he can see a bit of dissonance with people he knows, who just like to download or buy pirate versions. * If it's not available in my [[NoExportForYou country]] and [[AbandonWare time]], then it's fair game. If something is burdened by DRM to the detriment of usability, go ahead. I may not be a freemarket zealot, but if the crappy black-market knockoff is actually ''better'' than the legit product, don't expect me to get upset when people choose the superior option. DRM makes it hard to distribute free copies to all your friends? Buy it. DRM requires a constant internet connection for a single-player offline game? Buy it and crack it if you can. Pirate it if you can't. DRM installs a virus? Definitely pirate it! DRM limits the number of installs or otherwise forces you to buy multiple copies? Buy one and pirate another if the DRM makes the first stop working. DRM is detrimental to performance of your computer? Pirate it. DRM requires me to [[BerserkButton install Steam on a Mac?]] [[UnstoppableRage PIRATE! PIRATE! PIRATE THE THING!]] Admittedly, a lot of my approach is largely theoretical at this point, as my media consumption is increasingly limited by the fact that [[TakeThat most new shows, movies and games aren't very good]] and [[JadeColoredGlasses neither are the old ones]]. ** Your rather elitist attitude aside, [[@/{{Bisected8}} This Troper]] has very little sympathy for you. Particularly given that ''Steam'' has none of the issues you mentioned. Its a DigitalDistribution service (one which allows you to download, backup and play any game you've bought on any computer that can run it, no less); the very thing that many people cite the lack thereof as a reason for piracy. Also contrary to what some people seem to think [[spoiler: you can play steam games offline]]. If you insist on buying first party Valve games on retail (which still comes down to the same thing, since you can make a backup if you buy digital and you have access to the d/l version after you've registered the retail copy) then it'll only take you a 1.5mb download and about 30 minutes (and that's assuming you haven't already installed it)...not to mention you've wasted money on petrol/bus fares/metro tickets/etc. Adding in the fact that it allows you to install patches as soon as they're available, provides online

play facilities (something you'll have trouble getting hold of if you pirated it, begging the question of why you bothered considering the online/community elements of most of Valve's games), allows everyone in the world to start playing their copy on the same day (removing regional lockouts) the only reason to pirate a game available on steam is to avoid paying full price. ** I assume this was written prior to Steam becoming available to Macs. If not...why are you whining? Steam is convenient. * I don't do it for the same reason I don't use drugs, with my luck I'd be the one to actually get caught out of everyone who does it in the area. I know it's just paranoia, but I'd rather stay on the safe side. * I'll say the same thing here that I've said to everyone else I know. [[PiratesOfTheCaribbean Hoist The Colors.]] * Thing I don't understand is why everyone assumes that digital piracy is evil just because it's illegal. Seriously, people who pirate actually feel the need to justify it with all sorts of reasons because they feel guilty. Fact is, illegal != morally wrong. Some people (like myself) disagree with intellectual property laws on moral grounds, I think it is ridiculous to suggest that someone can own an idea as opposed to a physical thing. I'll purchase media to support the creators, for example I like to spend my hard earned money on print copies of webcomics I like because I know it goes straight to the artists, but I have no problem with "illegal" downloading, and in cases where they make it impossible to play the legal version due to copy protection, well then I simply refuse to buy the legitimate copy period (actually that's not entirely true, but if I do buy the legit copy I end up cracking it anyways). * Skadrii is a composer/songwriter. Who doesn't perform (and therefore makes virtually nothing from concerts). Who strangely doesn't have a big problem with illegal downloading. Perhaps this comes from having looked into contracts with recording companies, where from each $15 CD sold, he'd get... something like $0.07. Not a huge amount to lose if someone downloads a CD, likes it and then decides not to pay for it. When he gets a website to which he can upload his music, Skadrii's more likely to implement a "pay what you like"/"donation" approach under the assumption that (a) people will be more willing to pay an artist than a recording company, (b) people can get the music for free anyway so fixing prices won't change anything, (c) recorded music will not be a factor in his finances at all, so that matters will be arranged such that money made by record sales will be only an added bonus suitable for obtaining luxury items like a third meal or health insurance. ** It should be noted that Skadrii ''would'' have a problem with other people selling his music and not paying him a decent percentage of the profits though. (That's the kind of situation intellectual property laws were created to prevent, after all. Current digital piracy laws have little to do with safeguarding intellectual property and a lot to do with NewMediaAreEvil.) * The bizare fact was, this troper bought more movies and TV shows on DVD back in the days when he did a bit of pirating on the side than now when he went (more) legit and got a Netflix account. Now I rent

practically everything I want to watch and I'm pretty sure the studio doesn't get that much in revenues from it. I still have an external hard drive with every single DVD I own ripped to it (beats hauling the giant collection to college). I still get tempted with out of print things, though. ** And now he he helped a friend download a copy of a PSP game that his friend just bought because the non-cracked version wouldn't run on his homebrew enabled PSP (since they changed up the encryption). I'm not even sure what the morality involved there is. * [[DialgaX This Troper]] gets most of his music collection off Youtube. He does not use torrents though but he sees nothing wrong with it. Then again some people have described his morals as being "[[BlueAndOrangeMorality almost non-human]]". ** Hell his entire [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] ''family'' does this! And we justify it by saying that we are not making a profit. * Most of the pirating [[{{Kazokuhouou}} this troper]] does is of episodes of [[Series/DoctorWho British]] [[TopGear tv shows]] on the week it premiered on TV, because it usually takes about a YEAR for it to come stateside, and also cause they cut stuff out for ad breaks, the [[PrecisionFStrike fuckers]]. * This Troper has no political or moral reasons preventing or encouraging him from pirating, he just likes downloading things he wants for free. * As far as [[{{Tahaneira}} This Troper]] has seen, I have an odd take on the whole piracy thing. I have no objection to torrenting files I have not paid for, as long as I have access to them in other ways, i.e., soundtracks for movies and games. Also, if it's something I have no access to, media not released in my area and will not be in the foreseeable future, I have no problem with it. Similarly, my computer is frustratingly picky about installing games; something wrong with my disk drive or summat. Anyways, as a result I frequently download games through torrents; however, they're games I've already paid for through proper legal channels. They just don't work properly. I've debated where I fall on the moral scale of things in this scenario, then put it to a good thing canceling out a bad thing, move myself to the gray area in the middle of the scale and call it quits. * [[ This Troper]] would like to thank all TV Tropers for it's contributions to this page. It has helped him write an good economics paper. * Honestly? [[{{Starscream}} I've]] reached the point where I pirate stuff just because it's a hell of a lot more convenient for me; copyright "laws" be damned. ** STARSCREEAAAAAAAAAAAM! *** ...yes? * This troper once booted up a rom of SimCity Creator for the Nintendo DS, and one of the first things he saw was the cutest little mayor ever telling him "Thank you so much for buying our game!" Said troper felt so guilty, he didn't play the game, and bought it instead. Now THAT's Anti-Piracy. * This troper downloads games,tv series,music,comic books,etc. 90% of his life is digital piracy since he doesn't do anything else than staying at his computer all day. He doesn't feel too bad about it

tough, because besides actually buying his favorite games(wich already makes him a saint compared to everyone else here where he lives), he knows that he only downloads things that he'd never buy in the first place either becuase he can't pay for them or because he can't buy. For example, this troper is seriously considering downloading two bioware games(Mass Effect 2 and Dragon Age) even tough he always buys bioware rpgs he likes(the only exception being Jade Empire), the reason he's considering it is that they are impossible to find in here anymore and since he can't buy it out of steam he will have to pirate them. Wich is a shame since he would surely buy both games and all [=DLC=]s if he could. * This troper averts it by having only CC licensed music in his computer. * This Troper doesn't feel the need to "justify" downloading music. Bands get such a tiny amount of their money from CD sales that most could care less. Concerts and merch is where bands really make their cash. If i like a band i go to their shows and buy their T-shirts and the like. Games can be a bit of a grey area but i've always applied the one year rule. If it has been out for a year, it's no longer making any real income. ** That's this troper's MO on piracy too. If the band is selfpublishing, I'll pay for the albums. If most of the money is going to big-wigs that barely have anything to do with the making of the music, then I pirate away and support the band by going to their concerts. Also, the band's opinion on pirating is a big factor too. If they're okay with it, then I slip on my eyepatch, peg leg, and hook hand. Arrrgh. * This troper's reason for piracy is that since life screws him over in so many ways, the one time it's unfair in his favor, he's not going to pass it up. That guy who cuts me off on the highway, the fast food clerk who gets my order wrong, the local official who answers my letter but does what the big lobbyist tells them anyway? They don't care about me, so I pass it right on down the line. * This troper doesn't need to make up an excuse to justify copying. * Strangely, how guilty pirating a game makes me can be influenced by a number of things. The biggest factor would obviously be how old a game is and what generation it was made in. Based on age alone, I wouldn't pirate anything from the sixth generation/2000 or later. However, things such as ''the game's graphics'' and ''how likely it is that people around me can identify it'' can make me feel more or less guilty. Might be why I was ok with pirating King of Fighter 03 but I feel deep shame for even considering pirating Marvel Vs. Capcom 2. * [[{{Tropers/Arutoa}} This troper]] really just doesn't give a fuck about this, and downloads things with very little guilt ([[EvenEvilHasStandards but not stuff by indie bands who NEED the money]]). Ironically enough, his taste for things tend to be {{Abandonware}} and NoExportForYou. * This Troper avoids pirating things like movies and music but has a large collection of theater bootlegs (of both the video and audio variety). It's hard to really feel like a disservice is being done because... if I want, say, a video of an understudy in a role or to see or hear a show that's long closed it's not usually possible to see

it except through bootlegs. Almost every show This Troper has paid money to see live was on account of bootlegs getting her interested first (and she enjoyed the show so much more because she was familiar and therefore able to appreciate the nuances more). Yet, funnily enough, it's much riskier and more difficult to bootleg theater than things like movies and music (this has become a big problem for theater fans when people who are used to more traditional piracy and concerts do things like post bootlegs on YouTube, which both hurts the person who risked recording it and also makes theater bootlegging seem like a bigger problem to theaters who therefore are harsher about it.) ** As a sidenote, Rent released a filmed version of the show on Broadway right before it closed. This seems like it would be a much nicer alternative to bootlegs... but actually, pretty much every bootleg trader This Troper knows couldn't stand it. Shows are made to play to the audience, and the vast majority of bootlegs are filmed from a single spot in the audience, so even though they can't match a live experience by any means they are a decent representation. This filmed version of Rent, however, constantly jumped between angles and levels of zoom and generally did a bad job of showing the musical as it was meant to be seen -- as if they were trying too hard to play to the expectations of the typical moviegoer. * This troper sets a limit with albums; if I want more than three of the songs on one album (or I really want the album because of the artist or whatever), ''and'' there's a practical way to get hold of the album over here ([=eBay=] doesn't count, although that hasn't stopped me on some occasions), I'll go and pay the £10; otherwise, I'll see if it's on the next ''Now That's What I Call Music!'' album; otherwise it's download time. (Through the numbers of artists I've got into through downloading odd songs here or there, I'm pretty sure the record companies are close on profit out of me.) TV; download it from America, and buy the [=DVDs=] when they come out over here fifteen months later. Games; pirate and/or emulate {{Abandonware}} and NoExportForYou, second hand what's available, and buy the rest new. Films; can't be bothered, because I'll never get round to watching them anyway. Porn; there's so much free stuff around that paying for it is the domain of idiots. Pay per play; fundamentally immoral and stupid. Ultimately, it's all born out of the fact that where realistic, I prefer to have something physically tangible like a CD or a DVD than a collection of files on a hard drive that I'll struggle to replace the next time I upgrade my PC or the drive dies or whatever which is also my objection to DRM and legal downloads. (The pipe dream is to replace ''all'' my illegal songs with [=CDs=] at some point, but that'll require buying some four hundred odd albums - more than a few of which probably no longer exist - for the sake of one or two tracks from each.) * this tropers view on the subject? It's only piracy if it's still being sold. * This Troper thinks that it's good to hurt the RIAA and MPAA. They bend the rules to actively and blatantly STEAL money from artists. And the government passes, instantly and unanimously, any law that they propose in order to bend the rules even further. Seriously, people. When you buy music and movies, the artists aren't getting any money.

Who are making megabucks though are the evil corporate execs that do these things. And there's not one single person in THE ENTIRE WORLD that will do anything at all to try and kill these people. ** It's because this is ''capitalism''. [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney Whoever has the money]] [[ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem makes the rules]] In that whole Capitalism vs actual socialism it's pick your poison. Government caters to those who give them the most money at the expense of the consumer, or there's no point in trying to be better. * This troper doesn't pirate stuff he can get legitimately. Pirated copies don't really add to the collector's value at all. (Pirated cartri He does make exceptions if: ** The thing is not available in this region. I could often import it like I did with ''TalesOfEternia'' (I ordered a copy from ''Sweden'') because after all, it's still an original copy of the game that has collector's value. However, most manga? Good luck finding ''TalesOfInnocence'' in America. *** Likewise, I fell into habit of reading manga scans online because they're updated weekly and it's quicker to upload something digitally merely because you don't have to put it on paper, which takes time and money. With manga it's kind of inevitable that there would be a pause, though. However, the advantage of waiting until the monthly ShonenJump is that you can go on an ArchiveBinge since you get a months worth of the series at once as opposed to just a week's worth in Japan. ** It's really really hard to find. I pirated the ''NausicaaOfTheValleyOfTheWind'' and ''{{Akira}}'' mangas because they might as well be printed on paper made from Albino Redwoods given how rare they are out here. Only ''ONCE'' have I ''ever'' seen a bookstore carry volume one of the Nausicaä manga and not yet have I seen books four through six of Akira. So if you're wondering why we're pirating some stuff? It's because it's not printed enough. I'd definitely buy the Nausicaä and Akira Mangas for collectors' purposes if ''I can actually bloody find them'' in stores or sell my soul on an online auction on eBay. I have a budget and I can't spend a couple hundred bucks for the Akira books when buying them one by one is ''cheaper''. * [[SenshiSun This troper]] prefers not to use Limewire to download songs. However, if there is a song I have plans to use (or I can't get it on CD), I will rip it from youtube. Then Limewire went down for legal reasons. Something tells me folks will switch to my method soon. * I will pirate anything that is system exclusive that can be emulated by my computer (I'm not buying a system to play one game...exclusives are a lousy idea) and any game that is more than 4 or so years old. Obviously, if there are no localizations of a foreign product or if the product isn't produced anymore, then pirate away. I will also pirate anything that has invasive DRM on it. I will generally not pirate anything that can be found on Steam, I will just wait for a sale in that case. In general, games are too expensive. $50 for a new game is ridiculous; I get about 5 months of Netflix movies with that. Even old games are overpriced. There's the Nintendo brand Wii games that are still $50 after 5 years, but even VC games are too much. $5 for a 20 year old NES game? It should be about 99 cents. I think games have gotten to the point where development costs are totally out of

whack with the size of the audience. I don't pirate movies though, as I just watch them through Netflix and I hardly ever watch movies more than once anyway. If it's good enough for me to watch more than once, it's good enough to blow some cash on. I will pirate music, but I don't listen to anything new anyway. I will probably use Itunes if I ever get an Ipod or something (but even then it's too expensive. A dollar per song? Albums should be about 4-5 dollars via digital distribution, as you don't get anything but the music). I've only pirated one book in my entire life; A Feast for Crows by George RR Martin, and I'm very glad I didn't spend real money on that turd. * This troper's favorite vocalist sent him an entire album(SIAM's The Language Of Menace) by email in a subversion of this trope! * This (poor) troper downloads like a madman, but when he occasionally has money, he prefers to buy his stuff. * This troper used to pirate(most of her JonathanCoulton collection is pirated), but eventually quit. She does download some things, but they're things that aren't for sale (Youtube [=AMVs=] she likes, cartoons that aren't going to become available for iTunes) or if she can't get something off iTunes. She doesn't think piracy is evil(although if you can afford it and genuinely want the thing, just buy it, your "moral pirating" is probably not going to help anything) and thinks a lot of DRM is crap, but it's sort of a vicious circle: DRM gets worse, more people pirate, executives freak out and invent even worse DRM, etc. It would help if people could collectively stop being greedy idiots(and that goes for excessive piraters too). * This troper doesn't condemn piracy too much (as most who pirate are cheap like me anyway), however he considers inmoral the '''selling''' of pirate copies (if the seller just downloaded it and not actually did a job) at more than a reasonable price. (internet can be expensive but not THAT much) * This troper's music teacher pirates near enough everything (most of the school's music software is illegally downloaded), but piracy also makes him lose out on a lot of royalties that he earns from his former career as a music producer - although that doesn't seem to bother him much. * This troper is a frequent pirate (having a large game collection, music collection spanning 50+ gigs and an anime/movie/TV show collection two or three times that), but he still likes to buy stuff from creators he likes. See also: his purchase of the discography of The Protomen and a shirt from them after pirating their albums. * This troper pirates most if not all of the music he listens to because its free. I can't argue with that. * This troper only pirates because she's poor and doesn't have a credit card. Once she gets a job and a way of buying stuff online, she's resolved to buy a legit version of everything she's ever stolen. Ever. * This troper is so pissed by the DVD copyright ad every American DVD has these days that he's considering moving to the dark side for good. I didn't spend 20€ on a DVD just so I could be condescendingly taunted by a non-skippable minute of the most intellectually dishonest guilttripping ever, usually featuring a bunch of teeth-gratingly annoying douches sitting on a couch, watching Die Hard and basically going "BUY

REAL DVD'S OR YOURE A NERRRRRRRRRRRD". I AM A NERD. I don't need to be forcibly yelled at about it every time I spend my hard-earned cash to buy a DVD. Just... awful, as a psychological tool and as a marketing tactic. * I grab torrents of software I'd like to buy because I'll be damned if I'll not try software before shelling out US$200+ of unrefundable cash only to find out the software sucks. How about full-functioning (but timebombed) demo versions? Why do software houses not do this? ** Trygames used to have this IIRC, but now only for the smaller games. * ''Frostsabre.'' On Nciku (a Chinese-English site) if you type the word "[[ piracy,]]" (&#30423;&#29256;, daoban) just look at the examples. How would people be satisfied if piracy were [[BannedinChina banned,]] just curious? ** On my end, (I dabble on both sides) I buy more games than I pirate. I've bought TrackMania and Torchlight, to name a few, that way. On the other hand, I bought StarCraft 2 because I thought the campaign was going to be good, only to realise that I enjoyed a single mod ([[ Desert Strike,]] by the way) better than that. * This has probably been mentioned before, but this troper would not have gotten into many bands if it weren't for downloading. This troper is also into really obscure music that can't be found in stores nearby *or* on iTunes. How am I supposed to listen to music that I can't buy? * This troper doesn't bother with any justifications. I just download anything I want, because I'm completely egocentric and somewhat sociopathic and don't care about anyone. It also applies to all other laws and regulations - while I understand that they exist, I don't care about them, and simply can't grasp their meaning - they may apply to others, but I can't relate to them. And if benefit from breaking a law will be considerable, and chance of punisment very small, I will do it without any hesitations. Though such situations are, unfortunately, rather rare, and in my country minor offenses, such as drug possession, stealing from people not belonging to your social group, physical assault and such are considered OK by many people, and cops are universally despised and hated. * This troper doesn't consider it piracy if he can find it on the first page of a google search. He downloaded BitTorrent but hasn't used it once. * This troper will pirate TV shows for a rainy day, and download a couple games to see if I like 'em before I buy 'em (or if they're really freaking hard to find and no longer sold, aside from the occasional eBay auction), but that's pretty much it. * Greetings from [[ImageBoard /v/]], where we pirate all of our games; not so that we don't have to pay for them, but so that [[EatTheRich nobody else]] ''[[EatTheRich gets]]'' [[EatTheRich paid for them]]! I don't know if that's proof that DigitalPiracyIsEvil or just proof that HitlerAteSugar. ---Download [[DigitalPiracyIsEvil digitalpiracyisevil]]ISO-88591.html.torrent now!


DinerBrawl * In 2009, [[Tropers/AGroupie This troper]] actually saw one of these happen at Mel's Diner on the Sunset Strip in LosAngeles. A couple of guys started arguing over an unpaid bill, punches were thrown, names were called, and someone got shoved. What made it even more ironic was that someone who had once been in a band known for its epic brawls was in the diner, but neither he nor his party had anything to do with the fight. [[DinerBrawl Look out it's flying mashed potatoes~]]

DinnerAndAShow * [[PollyNim This troper]] always claims it's not a real family dinner unless someone leaves the table in anger. She actually missed it when she went to college. * It is not a good dinner at my house until my mother had to stop the conversation from getting gross at least twice. ** Sadly, it's the case for [[{{Ryumaru}} me]] too. I've often just wanted to nuke a pizza and eat away from everyone else.... It's also the reason I save money to eat out for lunch so much. ** [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] agrees; it's not a good dinner until you make your mom {{Squick}} by mentioning [[VideoGame/SuperMarioRPG Cricket Pie]] * When I was younger, my family lived in base housing, then later rented a house for several years before my father retired from the military and bought a brand-new house in a brand-new neighborhood. For our first Thanksgiving in our new house, they decided to invite the people whom we'd rented our last house from over for dinner. But when it was time to eat, my little sister refused to come to the table; she was too busy playing a rental {{NES}} game. (Here I should note that our guest dining room is right next to the living room, with an open wall/doorframe, meaning we could all see each other clearly. And that Sis was sitting on the floor completely ignoring my parents' calls to come to dinner, [[BlatantLies claiming she was "Coming in just a minute!"]] without even so much as glancing our way, let alone budging from her spot.) After a prolonged argument, with my parents increasingly losing patience with her staunch refusal to so much as ''pause'' the game, Dad got up, walked over and hit the power button. ''[[{{Understatement}} This did]]'' '''[[{{Understatement}} NOT]]''' ''[[{{Understatement}} go over well]]''. My sister flew into an absolute '''[[FreakOut RAGE]]''', ''[[NoIndoorVoice SCREAMING]]'' bloody murder and generally reacting like Dad was beating her within an inch of her life... despite the fact that we could all see that all he'd done was turn off the NES and, after arguing a bit more, haul her to her feet. ...That was when our new dog took advantage of the empty seats to pop his head up, grab a full pecan pie, and run like hell with Mom in hot pursuit. Left unattended with the people we'd rented our last home from, who both looked decidedly disturbed by the fact

that ''THIS'' was the family they'd had in their house all those years, I made a crack like "And this is our afternoon floor show!" ...I don't think it helped... That was the last time my folks invited them over, and the last time we spent Thanksgiving with somebody other than immediate family. * If someone doesn't end up silently seething in rage, it's not a ''real'' Thanksgiving. This is mostly because of my [[RacistGrandma racist grandparents.]] * This is why one doesn't go to my eldest aunt's house for Christmas. In fact, I never actually been there at that time of year...there's a family Noodle Incident involving my greediest uncle eating a tablefull of homemade white-chocolate-covered pretzels on the last Christmas everyone got together, and that was long before I was around. According to my mother, hostess-aunt [[BerserkButton went ballistic]] when she saw the damage, which led to a fight between her, the uncle, and the sister he happened to be married to...which led to my father and other two uncles (yes, all uncles are by marriage -- the all-sisters family might be part of the problem) trying to calm everyone down...which led to religious insults being fired at my Jewish father and the Catholic uncle...which led to storm-outs and threats never to see each other again. The whole family never did do Christmas together again, and it's a true Noodle Incident to everyone else, who say "oh, that time," and refuse to speak of it. On a sad note, more than one branch of my mother's family still can't eat a normal everyday meal together without someone being insulted repeatedly. I lost five pounds in two weeks my parents and I spent at my eldest aunt's house; while I didn't mind it, I know it was because I was taking as little food as I could so I could leave the table quickly. You don't even want to know what happened when we were pressganged/bullied/guilt-tripped into going on a road trip that culminated in a meal at my youngest aunt's house...the Catholic one. By that point I had descended into [[EmoTeen bitter cynicism]], and spent my time picking strawberries, communing with pigs, and trying to avoid speaking to anyone human and above the age of four. Suffice it to say that nobody even noticed that I was insulting everyone at the table when I was finally called in to dinner -- [[VolleyingInsults I was the net!]] ---How dare you say that about your brother! Either apologize or go back to DinnerAndAShow right now. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DirectionlessDriver * This troper's wife is a rare female version of the trope. She has NoSenseOfDirection and can get lost just a few miles from home, but adamantly refuses to use a map or a GPS. Subverted in that her favorite tactic when she gets lost is to give me a call... * This troper. Worse: he plans, eventually, [[TemptingFate to get into aviation]]. * My current workplace is a little hard to get to. I've recited the

litany of directions from every major intersection around town to the point I can just about give them in my sleep, and I've even given latitude and longitude coordinates to someone with a GPS receiver. However, more then once I have had to ''guide people in'' when they called me on their cell phones! This is one of the reasons I took up [[ Geocaching]]. * This troper's dad is an interesting variation. While he doesn't get lost with particular frequency, when he does, it always turns out the same way. He drives around for an hour or so until he is finally convinced to ask for directions. At that point he is, without fail, about two blocks away from the destination and on the right street. * A store that sold old games had an ad on the radio and I decided to go on one of my days off. I drove to the town and began looking for it, which took 4 hours of aimlessly driving around since I couldn't remember where the ad said it was. The whole time I was driving I kept the radio on waiting for the ad to come on... it never did. I finally remembered one of the streets it was on and that it was across the street from Target, which I was, coincidentally, looking right at at that very moment. ** Same troper as above: Another time, I went looking for a Gamestop that had a game I wanted (which I found out about on the Gamestop site). Since I'd just gotten laid off from my job (which is not a good thing, but if you cover the last 4 words and it sounds happy), I wanted to find a way to pass the time until school started, so I got in the car and headed out. When I got to town I began searching for the road it was on. The only problem was that I misremembered the road's name. So I spent several hours searching for the road (passing it twice and ending up completely lost). I finally found it after about 5 hours, got the game, and got home in about 45 minutes. * This troper is a female variation, but its for walking, not driving. Everything looks so different on foot... this troper's dad is a variation, as he has no concept of the quickest way to get places and takes the longest possible route to this troper's band events when we're running late. Why? He's convinced his way is the right way. Men. * @/{{Seanette}} has experienced this with her: father, stepfather, grandfather, father-in-law, husband, and various male friends. She is firmly convinced that the reason the children of Israel wandered for 40 years following the Exodus was that Moses and Aaron, being men, refused to ask for directions. If they'd let Miriam and Zipporah handle navigation, they'd have reached the Promised Land in a year, tops. :) * My maternal grandfather was like this at times. Surprisingly, though he was absurdly tech savvy, he never bought a GPS receiver. Now his widow, my grandmother, is an extreme case (she has to be shown where the pots and pans are kept in her own kitchen). HumanTorch2 ---I don't ''need'' a link back to DirectionlessDriver! I can find my own way!

DisabilityImmunity * [[Tropers/ElodieHiras I]] have hypermetropia. It prevented me from

going blind. Because I have to wear glasses. They stopped at least 5 projectiles. * I have Asperger's Syndrom and I can look horror in the face and say: Meh. Asperger's Syndrom basically causes the person to react differently to certain suitations, such as laughing in a serious matter or being calm and indifferent during a life-treatening suituation. In this, this troper is immune to fear. As many peoples reactions to Silent Hill/Dead Space/Amnesisa Dark Decent for the first time would be "Ho Shit! (turns console off)" Mine was "Chould of been worse." In a technitcal sense I literally have InsanityImmunity aleast to fear.

DisabledMeansHelpless * People who take this tropette's mutism, vacant, dreamy expression and odd actions for mental retardation are notified of her mental competence. Harshly. * When this troper was in a wheelchair for broken legs several people always assumed I was mentally retarded for whatever reason. Sometimes when he met strangers who did this I faked some spastic twitching and moaning sounds to make them freak the heck out before saying "just kidding!". My mom told me to stop doing this sadly. * My Mother works in Social Services and cares for people with learning disabilities, and this assumption irritates her no end - the restaurant "What would she like?" type questions being the most common. Of course people with more pronounced disabilities sometimes do need a little help in this area but people shouldn't assume they do, they are better off assuming they don't. * [[RegShoe I]] had a pair of Great Great Aunts who had both had strokes who lived together. One could not talk or think easily, the other was mentally fine but had to use a wheelchair. The latter found it amusing how often people asked her sister what she wanted, when they should have been asking her what her sister wanted as her sister could not communicate easily. * This troper's wife is in a wheelchair and despite being completely articulate and intelligent would still get treated this way. She's noticed that this happens more often when shes out using her power chair; some people apparently think only the mentally disabled ever use them. I make a point of letting her do the talking to people when we're out together, partly to avoid this trope but mostly because she much better organized than me. * [[PurplePantherGirl This Troper]] befriended a girl who had been born with a problem so she was unable to walk. In every other way she was fine and also extremely intelligent. It drove her crazy when people talked down to her. * This troper's aunt suffers from muscular atrophia and therefore needs a wheelchair for long distances. However, she's extremely knowledgeable when it comes to medicine and medical procedures (due to very frequent hospital visits ever since she was a child) and can often outsmart nurses and doctors. That doesn't stop people who haven't met her before from treating her this way, to great annoyance

of both her and this troper herself. * [[SerenYGogledd This Troper]] discovered this the one time she needed a wheelchair (for nothing worse than a broken ankle!). She found people were more likely to address her directly and not talk down to her if she was steering the chair herself, rather than having a well-meaning friend pushing. It took a while to convince said friend, however. ** Push handles are optional equipment on higher-end wheelchairs used by people with permanent disabilities, precisely to discourage unwanted "help". * This hearing impaired troper put up with this quite a bit while younger. This trope was put into full play when the school insisted on keeping me in the same class as the wheelchair bound kid with cerebral palsy under the assumption that if the teacher knew how to handle him, handling me would be easy. * [[SovietKitty This]] dyslexic, albino troper also happens to be short and [[{{Dojikko}} incredibly clumsy]] and [[CloudCuckoolander ditzy]], leading to many people treating her like a four-year-old with an IQ of 70. They're then quite shocked when she shows her genius IQ and really bad temper, although it stops them. Conversely, some people expect more of her than an average person and pick on her every mistake. * This troper has a cleft lip and palate and a skin condition that, among other things, has made it so that she only has six teeth. Somehow people automatically jump to the conclusion that she can't speak in any way that's remotely understandable, even when the evidence clearly shows that this isn't true, while at the same time assuming that she can eat incredibly hard foods without difficulty, even to the point of getting angry or offended when she can't. * This troper's aunt had to have both legs amputated and suffers from MS, therefore is a permanant wheelchair user. People would probably talk down to her, but she tends to get the first word in so that it's very clear that she's not going to stand for such nonsense. Due to growing up around her I tend to make a point of not treating disabled people any differently to anyone else. * This troper has Cerebral Palsy and finds it odd that when she uses her crutches people are less likely to talk to her like she’s a two year-old, but when she uses her wheelchair people tend to talk to her LOUDLY and SLOWLY. * [[MayaTH This troper]] has chronic fatigue syndrome, and some wellmeaning friends and relatives have a habit of patronizing me in conversation. Although it bugs me, I try not to complain about it, because at least they actually understand that I have a disability. Many people treat me like I'm faking it, since I'm not wheelchairbound and look only mildly ill on the few days I'm well enough to leave the house. Compared to that treatment, I'm fine with being treated like a child, because at least I know those people don't think I'm lying for sympathy. * [[DKN117 This troper]] has Asperger's Syndrome. Now, most people know that this is a high-functioning thing, but I've still encountered many people who seem to think "Asperger's = Autism = mentally retarded" and try to speak to me loudly and slowly in condescending

tones. This happens to be this troper's BerserkButton, and he will almost always react to such treatment by verbally chewing them out with a mixture of SesquipedalianLoquaciousness and {{Cluster F Bomb}}s, showing them that A) this troper is quite intelligent and capable, and B) this troper has a foul mouth and little patience for such treatment. He once sent one of these people speed-walking (they wanted to look composed, so they didn't run) away from him at top speed, and has ''frightened'' some people with how angry he gets at being treated like this. One person (when this troper was a middleschooler with much less patience and restraint than he has now) [[TooDumbToLive kept talking down to this troper despite the display of intelligence and anger]], but the guy shut up when he narrowly dodged a punch, and this troper's [[{{Nakama}} friends]] showed up and chewed the guy out. ** This Aspie troperette is in awe. [[EngagingConversation Marry me?]] ** Join the club. My (top-set) teachers used to treat me as though I was mentally incapacitated until they saw my exam results. They then looked up Asperger's Syndrome and were very embarrassed at their mistake. Never again will they assume that autistic spectrum disorders make one stupid. ** Ditto. I think I got into more [[UnstoppableRage fights]] over this than anything else. Possibly more than everything else combined. (To be fair, some of that was for [[{{Nakama}} various buddies]] with similar "problems". [[SarcasmMode Note sarcasm.]] (On the "problems" part, not the rest.)) ** With the exception of dear old mom, I've never run into this problem. Granted, I haven't exactly mentioned I have Asperger's to everyone I meet, and my ADHD is in fact much more prominent. Especially when I've taken the pill that's explicitly supposed to control it, which also lowers my heart rate so much that the heart rate monitors in hospitals have been known to go off when I'm resting. ** I have Asperger's too, and I've got a bit of an inversion of this (the fact that Asperger's is one of the mildest and more subtle forms of Autism notwithstanding). In my Junior and Senior years of high school, I took Auto Tech class. The first year was mostly textbook stuff, and I passed easily. Level 2 involved more hands-on stuff, and I would occaisionally misplace various tools (though not significantly more than about half the class). The teacher treated this like an intentional reckless abandon of common sense on my part, even though my parents (and my other teachers, for that matter) repeatedly told him to read my file. To this day, four years later, I don't think he's so much as glanced at the thing. ** [[Tropers/{{tadaru}} This troper]] also has it, and his parents know it. He sometimes thinks his parents think he has every symptom of it. * This Troper isn't sure if this fits here, but he'll put it here anyway. He lost most of his left leg in a car accident when he was younger, and had to have a prosthetic leg. For various complicated reasons, said prosthetic ended up being some metal thing that looks like it'd be more at home on The Terminator. Anyway, he frequently gets people assuming he can't do anything for himself, just because he has balance problems, and trouble walking fast or running, and uses a

cane to walk around. * This Troper with Cerebral Palsy has been treated remarkably well by classmates, teachers, shopkeepers, and the like since she hit adulthood, but is routinely astounded by the idiotic behavior of some workers in the health care profession, having once actually been told by a ''physical therapist'' that being disabled means you are automatically retarded. In a weird inversion of this trope, her twin sister shares the same disability, but is able to walk with a only a moderate limp. Because of this, the twin was deeply resented by her assigned elementary school aides and teachers, the gossip among them being that because the twin was neither in a chair or mentally disabled, she ''must'' have been "''faking it.''" ** This physical therapist troper would like to state that while mental impairment is pretty common in individuals with CP (something on the order of 60% or more), your physical therapist had their head up their ass. * This Troper actually remembered and used the "take a wheel nut off each wheel" trick once. I knew it because I'd heard that joke in Boy Scouts. ** To be clear for those who haven't heard the joke, it's about a man driving by the mental hospital and having a wheel fall off his car, due to all the wheel nuts having rusted through. As he is puzzling about what to do, he hears someone behind him say "Use one wheel nut from each of the other three wheels." he does so and is surprised that it worked. Upon turning, he is even more surprised to see that the one who gave him the advice is in fact a patient at the hospital. He exclaims "How did you think of that?" and the man smiles grimly and says "I'm crazy, not stupid." * This Troper has slight difficulty with the motor functions in his hands. Because of this, It is much easier for me to type than to write by hand, which puts me on an Independent Education Plan at school. The assumption that I'm severely mentally and/or physically handicapped follows me everywhere, to the point that, while setting up my IEP for college, I made sure that my professors ''would not know'' about any difficulties I have. * This Troper has experienced the inverted trope of this. She does not have a disability, per se, but this troper does have asthma. This troper was a good runner and beat everyone in my P.E. class during seventh grade. They asked me how I did that. Then they said "her inhaler gives her extra air. So that's how she was able to do it - she has more air than the rest of us". I was like "WHAT?!". * This troper had this (sort of) happen to him when he wrecked his leg and had to walk on a cane. It was kind of difficult carrying all my books, and I found a lot of people were simply dying to help me, although it was clear that the only reason they were doing this was to [[EverybodyHatesMathematics get out of class slightly earlier.]] * This troper has had Rheumatoid Arthritis from a young age, and remembers a summer camp she used to go to where there was a fairly long hike at least once a week. The counselors always offered to carry my bag and such, even though it was clear I didn't need help at all and was even less likely to complain than my (perfectly healthy) peers.

* This troper has spina bifida. As such, it is much easier for me to get around in a wheelchair than with a walker. I've had my share of people assuming that because my legs don't work, my brain doesn't work either. Granted, the fact that I also have hydrocephalus *does* make [[EverybodyHatesMathematics certain subjects]] harder for me than others. People (mostly small kids) occasionally stop to gawk at me, though I've [[BerserkButton mostly]] learned to deal with that part. I've also been treated like [[InspirationallyDisadvantaged it's the most amazing thing in the world that I sing, 'run' two miles three days a week at the school gym, and am even in college at all]]....however, on the flip side, some people think [[HandicappedBadass it's pretty dang cool that, as far as endurance challenges, I beat out most of the 'able bodied' people that use the track.]] I have yet to see anyone else do even one mile. * [[{{Tropers/Smerf}} This]] troper had a friend in high school with cerebral palsy who used a wheelchair to get around (less likely to be knocked over in the halls than if he used crutches). He was on both the wrestling team and the judo team. ** His biggest complaint about people offering to do stuff for him? "I don't mind if they offer to help put my wheelchair in the back of my truck for me, but damnit, most people offer to help ''after'' I've already got it up there." * [[{{Tropers/Syreni}} I've]] conductive hearing loss in my left ear, and wear a hearing aid to correct it. Now the hearing aid isn't that noticeable, because it sits in my ear canal. But once people know it's there, boom! To them, suddenly my brain doesn't work properly and [[{{InsaneTrollLogic}} I can't hear anything at all even though I possess hearing correction.]] I've had people asking me if I'm okay with hearing them even if I'm half an arms length away, sitting next to them in a quiet classroom. Which is rather ridiculous. * This Troper's best friend/roommate is blind. When people meet us, they assume that I'm her caretaker or something. They don't believe me when I tell them that she's perfectly capable of taking care of herself - sure, she sometimes needs to be told where cooking utensils are and which cleaning supplies are which, but that hardly means I wait on her hand and foot. ** Going to coffee shops with my friend is alternately amusing and irritating. Of course, we get the occasional jerk who will wordlessly hold my friend's credit card in the air after ringing the order up, waiting for her to magically sense it and take it back. (Free advice: If you ever ring a blind person, it is perfectly okay to tap their card on the counter a few times, or just to say, "Here's your card/change/receipt.") But more often than not, they're too accommodating. Baristas will often take one look at my friend's white cane and ask me what she wants to order. I will pointedly say, "Golly, I don't know! Why don't you ASK her?" ** One more bit of free advice, since I'm on this soapbox. If you see a blind person who looks like she might be having trouble getting across the street, just ask her. She would much rather you say, "Hey, need any help?" than for you to assume that she does, grab her elbow, and drag her across the crosswalk. Just think how you would feel if a total stranger grabbed and dragged you anywhere!

** The most basic thing I can tell you about dealing with blind people - always ask first. Don't just assume she needs help and swoop in to save the day. Even if she needed the help, if you didn't ask first, trust me, she will resent you. Conversely, if you offered help and she declined, it's a pretty safe bet that she did still appreciate the offer. *steps off soapbox* ** Different troper, similar story. I had a blind friend who was easily the most cool and least helpless person I know. Manipulative as all heck about it when it came to substitute teachers, but she was taking math classes at home since the VI services couldn't work fast enough for her. She also completed her ACT's in the high 20s ''with a papercut on her reader finger,'' and is working on a double major in Law, last I checked. [[spoiler: And between you and me, internet, I am still kicking myself for never getting around to asking her out.]] ** By the way, thought [[ this]] was relevant. ** [[@/{{Amethystasheryn}} I,]] as a blind troper, agree with everything above. (Although the thought of that car sort of freaks me out, but that's just my personal opinion more than anything else.) I don't have many [[BerserkButton berserk buttons,]] but one of them is people who have decided for some reason that the amount of vision I have is inversely proportional to my I.Q. Both of my totally blind parents share that [[BerserkButton particular button]] too, although none of us are at all bitter about it. It's funny, once the initial annoyance has worn off. ** Same troper. I must say, though, playing devil's advocate, that sighted people aren't always given a good impression of what blind people can do. There really are blind people out there who, either because of leading sheltered lives or because of other handicaps, aren't as high-functioning. So I can understand why sighted people draw the conclusions they do. They might be less apt to do so if there weren't blind people out there who will play up the disability for all it's worth in order to get sympathy ... Or in the case of an erstwhile classmate of mine, [[BerserkButton use it to feel up girls]]. On that note, I'd better stop here; I've typed out a much longer rant than I intended ... * This troper comes from a family with a history of mental illness, autoimmune disease, and crippling connective tissue disorders. He also comes from a family of very bright people who habitually carry metaphorical soapboxes. This trope gets... [[BerserkButton discussed]]... a lot. * This troper is... sometimes sensitive when it comes to stimuli due to her disabilities, and it makes her extraordinarily edgy while in that state. Teachers tend to fuss and worry about me yelping or gasping loudly when startled by something soft but abrupt when I insist I just need a few minutes to calm down and handle it myself, not a [[HatesBeingTouched a 'comforting' hand]] or someone bothering. It's just a reflex, for heaven's sake, that's all. * People act this way all the time towards [[{{Tropers/Punkreader}} this Tropette]], and her disabilities aren't even that severe (in her mind, anyway) compared to someone like her much-loved (by her) cousin who's a quadriplegic with a brain tumor. She has cerebral palsy, lacks

vision in one eye, has moderate hearing loss, and has trouble with some physical things (like tying knots, getting up stairs whilst carrying her normal crapload of stuff which includes a computer, and falling), and lots of other stuff, but she's mostly capable of doing things herself. I appreciate offers of help, especially when I ''am'' more tired than usual, but offering to sharpen my pencil is going too far. Also, people, like for the above troper, seem to think that I love being [[{{HatesBeingTouched}}patted on the shoulder or tapping me on the shoulder]]. People also shout at me, which I find hilarious. I also have a rather sad textbook example of this from about a month ago: ** I use a computer for everything except math, because my CP makes it quite difficult to write for anything longer than a decent short answer. One girl randomly came up to me at lunch one day while I was waiting for my friends to arrive and asked why I was using a computer. I patiently explained that it was because my "hands don't work right" (they jerk and spasm, and tire easily when gripping something because of CP-induced spasticity), and writing is hard for me. Her response? "Oh. So, you're retarded?" No. No, I am not. You, my dear, may want to go see your doctor and see if there's anything in that little head of yours. I think the girl was a freshmen (I'm in high school, a Junior), but, really, at least have some ''tact''! People also like to hold me up as {{Inspirationally Disabled}}, when I'm not, I intensely dislike extended attention of almost all kinds, especially public, and I'm trying to live as normal a life as possible in a body that's determined I'm going to be wheelchair bound and imobilized by pain at the age of 30 because of a genetic condition that carries with it a lot of "elderly" diseases: arthritis, bone degeneration, joint degeneration, worsening of circulation (and I already have really bad circulation, thanks.). I want to enjoy what I've got now before I start really hating it - stop reminding me that I'm supposed to be this amazing "disabled person." [[{{Berserk Button}} I am a PERSON who just happens to have disabilities - I am NOT fucking disabled!]] * Subverted with this one. I have conductive hearing loss with a hearing aid in the only one ear that works and am blind in my left eye. If I tell people about my hearing problems, they do not treat me any differently than before they knew. They know I'm capable of taking care of myself. (I ''do'' however, plan to use this trope to my advantage one day...) * I ([[Tropers/{{YnK}} YnK]]) have CP, and while I can walk on flat surfaces, climbing stairs is one case where I would appreciate some help. A lot of people who agree to help me with that assume that I can't go ''anywhere'' without support, and insist on walking me around, even though it tends to only slow me down. That's fine, at least they have good intentions. But the whole "cerebral palsy equals mental retardation" thing comes up often, which is why I'd prefer ''not'' to have anybody accompany me -- they're going to be asked about what I need, when I'm standing right here (and I hate being referred to in third person). Worse yet, I ''am'' slightly slow at speaking, because I tend to think phrases over in order to avoid BuffySpeak and to come up with a sentence that is easier for me to pronounce -- I know it can be difficult to understand my speech -- but

then people just assume I'm slow at ''thinking''. Oh, and apparently being able to write stories and knowing a couple of foreign languages doesn't count as a proof that you can think and talk normally. And don't get started on visiting doctors. An ophtalmologist once asked my dad who came with me whether I could read that letter table they use for checking your sight -- as in, whether I knew letters (incidentally, mom taught me to read when I was three). I was about eighteen at that time. I consider a heavenly gift the fact that none of my ''teachers'' were supporters of the trope in question, and most of my peers treated me as an equal, even if they did have to deal with my not-so-perfect personality. * Same Troper who wrote the above blind rant here. I'm not blind, but I do have myopia, and have worn glasses for it since I was 16. A couple months ago, my glasses broke, and since times are tight, I had to go without them for a month. Oh, what a month. Dealing with my ruined depth perception and inability to see chalkboards and TV screens was a hassle. After I fell up the stairs (yes, up) and discovered I couldn't see crossing signals at crosswalks, my blind roommate laughingly offered me her spare white cane. Well, I finally scraped together the dough for an appointment with the eye doctor. My prescription sheet stated that my vision is 20/300 ''without correction.'' My mom and sister saw it and said, "Oh my God, you're blind!" ''And they were completely serious.'' They thought that legal blindness means 20/200 or worse, under any circumstances. I explained to them that since my vision can be corrected to 20/20, I am not legally blind, even without my glasses. It didn't help. They started reading the TV screen for me. * This troper's mother doesn't seem to understand how little his legal blindness effects his life, creating a huge disconnect between us. It's disheartening when I want to go to college and am focused on my career and what the school is like, only to have my mother pushing forward about "accommodations" ( which I was going to look into eventually).I appreciate that she cares and I don't expect her to care as much about some aspects of my life as I do, but she won't get it in her head that I don't need much . When I try to tell her this, [[BerserkButton she claims I'm " in denial"]]. * I've got Asperger's and OCD, but I'm a relatively mild case compared to many others. I have plenty of friends without these things and I have no trouble in social situations. I also have a genius level IQ and have proven time and again to have exceptional writing ability. As a symptom of the AS, I also speak [[MotorMouth quite fast]] which makes it hard for people to understand me at times, but I'm able to deliberately slow down my speech and it sounds normal to them (even if it sounds slowed to me...go figure). Most of the time this trope doesn't come into play except when it comes to my mother of all people. She realizes I'm not mentally retarded or anything, but she also takes it upon herself to look up accommodations for me that I don't want or need and acts kind of like a crusader to help me out. She's done this since I was diagnosed with Tourette's (my first diagnosis, which is pretty much gone) at 6 or 7 and I'm now 21! I ended up going to a school for people with Asperger's/high-functioning autism/other mild mental disabilities from 7th to 12th grades, against

my wishes at the time and in my current opinion ultimately to my detriment academically. All of this has put a very severe strain on our relationship and we often get into fights, often because I tell her to StopHelpingMe. ** Same troper, mentioning a different disability and viewpoint. I also have ocular albinism, a rare condition that brings about a slew of annoying eye conditions like astymatism, nystagmus, increased light sensitivity, and 20/80 vision that ''isn't correctable using modern medical science''. I'm lucky in some ways in that people usually don't care about THIS one either, but honestly this one I don't mind having it brought to my attention because it has a far greater effect on my everyday life. Until new technology comes along, I will never be able to drive in the car culture of L.A. that I live in (believe me, I've tried...) and I often need help reading things from a distance. Case in point, if I'm ever at a fast-food place I almost always need help from the cashier telling me what it is on the overhead menu. I can see the pictures, but those only give a general idea so I have to point and say something like "I have bad eyesight and can't read that from here. What is that item?" At times like that (or tons of other situations) I wish they WOULD notice I have problems and just help me. Because my eyesight is pretty much completely uncorrectable I don't wear glasses or contacts, so there's no indication that anything might be wrong aside from my squinting. I don't want them to think this trope, but I sometimes wish my condition were actually more noticeable (for reasons I never looked into, I have normal colored (blue) eyes, so they can't even use oddly colored red or purple eyes as a giveaway for the albinism). * Perhaps not helpless but {{This troper}} is autistic but I know idioms aren't meant to be taken literally. * This troper is also autistic and wishes she had a dollar for every time she encountered this. For example, when she was in elementary school, she had an aide who would follow her around all the time and assumed that she didn't know how to buy her own lunch among other things. When she started trying to make this troper drink her chocolate milk with a straw[[hottip:*:This troper prefers to drink milk straight out of the carton, thank you very much]], [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome this troper then blew bubbles in her chocolate milk with said straw]]. Also, when she was a teenager, her mother started making her go to a camp aimed at teaching social skills and it infuriated this troper to no end the way the counselors always talked down to her as if she was five years old even though she was a teenager and well in possession of a tremendous vocabulary of SesquipedalianLoquaciousness and swearwords. [[CompletelyMissingThePoint And this troper's mom thought this was a good experience for her]]! Instead of shouting out [[ClusterFBomb Cluster F Bombs]] at them, though, she got through the time at that camp by contemplating tying them to their chairs with duct tape[[hottip:*:but only over their clothes, though, [[TheMerchantOfVenice for the quality of mercy is not strained]]]], shouting out the [[ClusterFBomb Cluster F Bombs]] at them, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and then spraying them with sugar water mixed with vinegar]]. Then when the camp was over, this troper then

tore up everything in the folder that the counselors told her to take home to her mother. [[ Needless to say, this troper's mom was not happy]]. Thank God this troper is now an adult and therefore unlikely to ever be in this situation again, at least from authority figures, but then there is more she can do about those who do assume this. ---Do you need some help getting back to DisabledMeansHelpless? Here, let me hold your hand and carry your books! <<|TroperTales|>>

DisabledSnarker * A lot of autists tend to be snarky, this troper included. ** This tropette managed to pick up sarcasm as a second language, despite not being very apt at understanding it due to having AspergersSyndrome. * As someone with severe hearing problems, I often snark about it by saying things like, "If I could hear it, I don't see why you couldn't. I'm the dude with hearing problem, here!" * This Troper's blind friend's middle name should be Snark. Nothing is sacred for this guy. (Although, he's not bitter, and it's not a coping mechanism.) He's offered several times to drive me somewhere. ** My mom, my dad and [[@/{{Amethystasheryn}} I,]] all totally blind, are the same way. My mom especially enjoys asking and offering to drive people places.

DisasterDemocracy * I remember once teaching a class on the Cold War, and establishing that the class has to decide who to "imprison" as spies. Without any prompting or discussion the class started voting on who to imprison. It's sort of a Democracy Default in Americans. ** ThisTroper had a similar experience in his American History class, except that "the accused" was levied with the same charges as the Rosenbergs. ---- We should all vote to go back to DisasterDemocracy. ---- <<|TroperTales|>>

DiscoDan * I sometimes still hang on to "old" memes long after they are considered "dead". That is all.



DiscreditedMeme * Whenever someone mentions The Game, this troper says that he just won it. If challenged, I say that I refuse to play by the rules (hey, if there's no way not to play the game, then there's no way I can be disqualified for breaking the rules, is there?). ** [[{{@/TARDISES}} I]] just outright refuse to play it. The rules can't apply if you don't play, amirite?

DiscreetDrinkDisposal * In France, once someone's poured you a glass of wine it's generally considered rude to refuse it or not drink it - and usually a glass will be poured for you without your being asked. This troper was at a picnic, carsick from the trip out, and "accidentally" knocked hers over when no one was looking. * This troper once left a shotglass of whiskey on a stagee in a bar, since he was going to be driving home soon.

DiscriminateAndSwitch * This troper's mother was once shooting dirty looks at two ladies in Dallas Cowboys jerseys who were publicly displaying their affection. -->When the troper's mother got up to use the bathroom, the troper's boyfriend said "I didn't know your mother was so intolerant." -->"I swear to God it's because they're Cowboys fans." * This troper had a girlfriend with the VerbalTic of "You people..." Her black cousin reacted with offense once, saying "What do you mean ''you people?''" I immediately answered, "She means Virgos." Which was the truth, and wasn't any secret to the Virgos in her family. * [[Tropers/GalenDev This Troper]] was trying to get the local phone company to finally accept the fact that his mother was dead (and thus transfer the bill into his name). After the fourth attempt at this and subsequently the third time faxing the death certificate - he finally had this exchange. -->'''Me:''' You people are all incompetent! -->'''Obviously Black Operator:''' What do you mean, ''you people?'' -->'''Me:''' SBC! Your whole damn company can't seem to accomplish one simple task! ** The worst part is, I meant every word. The fact that the operator was black was and is completely irrelevant. * During Army Sports Day PT one morning, this troper's all-white squad ("first squad") huddled together to discuss teams, rules, etc. A (black) member of second squad ran over to join our group. -->'''Squad Leader:''' We don't want any of ''your'' kind playing with us! -->'''2nd Squad Member:''' EXCUSE ME?! ''My'' kind? -->'''Squad Leader:''' Yeah, we don't need any one from 2nd squad playing with us!

* This troper used to date a Hispanic girl whose father made it clear that he didn't like him. When this troper assumed that it was because he was Japanese, she revealed that [[{{Interservice Rivalry}} her father was a retired Marine, and this troper's father was Navy...]] * This troper's father claims he doesn't like her hanging out with her Cape Verdean (Portuguese/African) friend because he doesn't like Brown people. He's referring to the fact the Cape Verdean friend goes to Brown University.

DiscussedTrope * [[Tropers/LeighSabio This Troper]] discussed StrawVulcan when her math test had a couple of free points in the form of questions like "What are our school colors." I was talking about this with an acquaintance: -->'''Troper:''' I could just start tearing my hair out and be like..."What do I do? The math does not work here. This is illogical. This DoesNotCompute. *falls down dead*" ---If this were the [[DiscussedTrope main article]], your life would be [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife ruined already.]] ----

DisgustingPublicToilet * The bathrooms at the university this troper attends make me think some people ''really'' need to be given diapers...and in the dorms, with some of the showers. It's a mess. What on earth is it with people ''taking a dump'' in the showers?! ** When [[Tropers/{{Redhed311}} this troper]] was in college, somebody once left a used feminine product in one of the showers. Luckily, I wasn't the one who found it, I only knew about this because somebody wrote on the mirror in eyeliner "DON'T LEAVE YOUR DISGUSTING BLOODY PADS IN THE SHOWER STALLS!" * The big problem at my college isn't leaving the seat up -- it's not lifting it in the first place. Seriously, dirkwads, if you pee all over the seat, clean it the hell up. Yeah, it's nasty and you don't want to do it, but do you think I want to clean up someone else's pee? After it's all dried and caked? Also maybe you should just sit if your aim is that horrible. * There is a cinema near where I live, the public bathrooms aren't particularly bad compared to some other places, but someone had decided to take all of the toilet paper, stuff it into one of the toilets and then proceeded to shit on top of it. My old school had it a fair bit worse, I stayed there throughout my entire time in secondary education, and not one day I used the toilets was it not completely wet on the floor everywhere, you could tell if someone was in side from little splashes on the floor, near enough no paper, piss on the rims, dreadful smell, for six years. It wasn't that bad a school either, which made it odd they couldn't take the time to clean

up that room a bit. * On the way back home from Texas on a road trip, I had to make a stop in an Alabama gas station. The toilet was literally clogged to the brim with crap, piss, and... Ugh... * Not as bad as the other examples, but once, I went to a high school for a robotics competition, and when I went to the bathroom, the stalls didn't have doors. It's not like the doors were stolen or anything, they ''hadn't been installed to begin with''. Wanting my privacy, I went to the other side of the gym to another bathroom... which ''also'' had doorless stalls. Seriously, what were they thinking? * The one at my high school was awful, someone wiped themselfes with the whole toilet roll instead of pulling a few pieces off. There was never soap or paper towels, the hand driers didnt work, and there was hardly any toilet roll. The toilets were gross,I have no idea how a woman could miss the toilet in that way, seriously, there was piss all round the seat and some people should really learn to flush!!!! * Oddly enough, for this troper's high school the toilets theselves are clean, it's the actual stalls that are repulsive... That, and the fact that crapping on the floor seems to be a game between the dickweeds at this tropers school. * Not a real bathroom, but the hideous one at the start of SilentHill2 lead me to briefly think that the game had started in the Otherworld. * This troper hasn't encountered any truly disgusting bathrooms yet, [[GenreSavvy but he still avoids public bathrooms due to this trope]]. * This troper recently used a port-a-potty that actually [[AvertedTrope averted]] this trope. It was perfectly clean, had a deodorizer that made it smell great, included a urinal as well as the toilet--which ''flushed'', and--the piece de resistance--had a footoperated sink, soap, and towels! If there is such a thing as a luxury port-a-potty, that was it! * This troper has had multiple experiences with these. The earliest one he can remember was at an outdoor public pool, where you had to walk through the restrooms to get to the pool. The flaw in the system was that there were no doors in either of the door frames, anything could wander in unimpeded. The result was bugs all over the place. There was only one urinal, a full-wall job, and the drain was chocked with drowned bugs of all sizes. Worse still you had to go into a stall to change, and you never know if something large was clinging to the inside of the stall door until it was to late. To top it off the whole place was wet and poorly lit. We only ever went there once. The second experience was in Junior High. The boy's restroom nearest the school library was a small number, with only two sinks, one urinal, and one toilet. The problem wasn't that it was unclean, it was the layout. From the door you could walk straight to the urinal, and to your left were the two sinks and a half wall, the kind that stick out the length of a cabinet or in this case the sinks. Once past the wall you could keep going forward another two floor units until you reached the urinal, or you could go left one floor unit and then forward again to reach the toilet. If you're thinking toilet stall, however, you'd be mistaken. The only sort of separation from the rest of the room the toilet had was another one of those half walls between it and the

urinal, not even a curtain. And so, unable to reach a restroom farther away, you'd sit there and hope no one came in at any point to use the urinal and create a moment of soul-scarring awkwardness and shame. * The ones on the seafront, those are the worst. Thank god there's usually an alley behind them... * Once, I went to a [=McDonald's=] and the bathroom was pristine ... except that the toilet was covered with partially dried blood. The worst part was that it was the men's room. * This troper's had multiple experiences with them. Probably the worst was a public loo in America in the middle of nowhere - it was so bad the authorities had slapped a warning on the door telling people they might catch dysentery from the loos. Needless to say, I gave it a miss. * The bathrooms at the old Roosevelt High School in Seattle (before it was gutted and remodeled). Very few doors on the stalls, lack of soap, tissue, and paper towels, and automatically-flushing urinals that were easily clogged. * This troper thinks somebody who has researched the GIFT for Psychology or Sociology should try writing a thesis on public areas like toilets and stores and see if it can apply there. There was already an economical theory that if the public had access to the same resources, they'd consume it to the core because they wouldn't feel responsible for it. (It was in Economics, though) Naturally, this applies to other resources and public goods - People wouldn't do stuff like shit in a sink, piss on the walls, throw bloody tampons on the ceiling (There was one on the library ceiling for ''years'') or try to flush shirts down the toilet if ''they'' had to clean it up. The same thing happens in the computer labs; in the Agriculture department, if we destroy the computers in the public labs and it's found to be something we could have done, it indirectly comes out of ''our'' pockets to replace them, and it's much harder to get away with wanton destruction. Meanwhile in the lbirary, where it's significantly easier to get away with stuff? More viruses than your average porn or Geocities site, keyboards that reek of sour beer, computers who have been overheated due to excessive use, food smeared onto the screens...People wouldn't do that stuff to their computer if ''they'' were paying for it. * This troper really dislikes outhouses. He doesn't need to see people's leavings, and the a breath is held, the deed is done, and he always makes sure to carry some good hand sanitizer, it's likely the foaming stuff is either weak or emptied out. * I went into a public toilet one night, that was so disgusting the floor was sticky with things I dont want to think about * During a trip to California, [[Tropers/ThePoppyBrosSr This Troper]] and her friends needed to make a pit stop, so we pulled over. Unfortunately, the restroom we stopped by was sickening. The floor was wet with... Something, the toilets were clogged and nigh-unusable, there was next to no toilet paper, and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking there was a nasty smell hanging around.]] I decided to hold it for the rest of the drive instead. * As nasty as it is that people don't bother to flush or clean up in

public restrooms, this editor just wonders ''how'' some of this horrible stuff is accomplished. Seriously, do some people just ''spontaneously explode'' when they close the stall door behind them? A human being should not be able to poop ''at eye level''! * Once at summer camp, one of my friends came back from the bathroom, and proceeded to tell me about a toilet that looked like someone had "rubbed their butt ALL OVER the toilet seat WHILE POOPING" I didnt see it for myself though. I also thank god I have an uncanny ability to only go to the bathroom twice per day while on a campout. * Wal-Mart has some of the most ''ungodly'' bathroom stalls known to man. It's bad enough when someone has bad aim or explosive diarrhea (or both...), but what on Earth possesses someone to take their shit and smear it all over the sides of the stall, or go #2 in a urinal? * The bathrooms at This Troper's high school were all reasonably clean for most of his first year there (Natch - the place had only been built the previous year), but things went downhill from there. This troper has memorized the locations of all the least-used bathrooms, which are usually the cleanest (Not that that's saying much). * [[Tropers/Jill Bug]] has seen the real life worst toilet in Scotland. It's in a public park where she and her family pulled over about half an hour away from Aberdeen Airport ... * Not a toilet, but I once saw a used pad lying on the floor in the dressing room of a clothes store. [[Understatement Ew]]. * A toilet I saw on vacation. The seat was gone, there was no paper or soap, and the sink was broken so there was no possibility to wash your hands. I decided to hold it in until I found a better place. * The men's toilets at East Slope Bar on the Sussex University campus were renowned for this. A friend of mine with hippy tendencies once made the mistake of going in there barefoot, came ''running'' back out and poured two pints of tap water over his feet. * During my stay at Texas Tech for a summer research program, my program had to share bathrooms with a program for visually impaired kids, who understandably had rather poor aim. I tried to use the bathrooms on the sixth floor of the biology building whenever possible. * The outhouses at the Boy Scout camp I live right next to are disgusting. My Venture Crew tends to camp there sometimes (which is literally camping in my neighbor's yard...), and the bathrooms are the worst I've ever seen. The smell made me want to puke, and there was stuff all over the "stall" that I didn't want to know about. * There was a minigolf place called Magic Carpet Golf in Tucson, AZ (closed now, thankfully), that this troper decided to go to one day on a visit down there. The place was falling apart and wasn't well maintained and was quite a disappointment. But then, he needed to use the bathroom. OH GOD, THE BATHROOMS. I swear they hadn't been cleaned in decades; there were black masses in the toilets which I can only assume were made of crap, mold, and may have possibly been sentient. The room smelled of death (maybe worse), and this troper had to try [[{{Understatement}} very hard]] not to puke after being in there for a mere 20 seconds. Needless to say, he decided to hold it until he left that godforsaken place. * [[Tropers/{{Twentington}} This troper]] has two tales to share about

this: ** On a trip to Florida, I found a fully clogged, overflowing toilet at a BP station in Adel, Georgia. The whole gas station was rather dirty, come to think of it. ** A friend of my mother's is an amateur writer who once wrote a story about a disgusting pit toilet at a state park, in which his glasses fell down the pit. * After living in Singapore for 4 or 5 years, this troper found it mind-boggling about how they prided themselves on cleanliness yet almost every public toilet was either really damp, smelt terrible or was in really bad condition. Not even the toilets in the flashy malls were very clean. * At this female troper's university (McGill University), sometimes she would find toilets filled with shit, piss, AND menstrual blood. * This Troper, when I was about nine or so, ran into two on one trip, one on the way there and one going back. The first one had bugs n the sink, and I don't remember much about the other one, except it was so bad I just went in a bush not too far away. Also, both were at gas stations. * This tropette's hometown's public restrooms are the worst. There are no doors on the stalls, there are bugs and once three dead rats on the floors, and when I was a kid, my parents would make me watch my sisters in the restroom in case of creepers. However, in my grandparents' hometown, the restrooms are so clean, they sparkle. Literally. * At [[Tropers/CrystalGlacia my]] high school, there's a terrible set of restrooms near the tech room and stairs. In the ladies' room- I'm a girl -the one stall at the far end is missing the door, the doors get caught on the toilets, they don't lock, and they have to be held shut or else they'll swing open on you. Even right after the janitors have finished cleaning them, they always reek of stale urine and ancient sanitary napkins. When it comes time for our school to host the marching band competition, that is the only restroom the visiting bands are allowed to use. If I get to post up signs leading people to the restrooms, I'm going to write them an apology on the last sign. * Used toilet paper...stuck to the ceiling. That is all. * This troper spent a few years in a nondenominational Christian school. Although it was eventually painted over, the walls of the stalls in the boys room were the gayest thing he'd ever seen. (Unfortunately, it took years to realize that this troper had a touch of bi to him, even though the reaction to the graffiti was pretty much AnythingThatMoves.) * This troper once had to use a portapotty in the middle of nowhere on a hike. She swears she saw a skeleton down in the blue stuff. There was also the ''church'' bathroom that was covered in blood. She washed her hands really, really well after that one. At least it was the ladies' room. ---Ew... you do ''NOT'' want to go back to DisgustingPublicToilet. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

DisneyAcidSequence * The "Pink Elephants" scene from Dumbo + copious amounts of Vicoden = ... yeah. * Visit to Disneyland? Raspberry-flavored vodka and Sprite in a water bottle? Hell, yeah! Teacup ride? YES. * I grew up watching Disney films and most of the older ones were recorded off the Disney channel by my parents. So when it came to recording Dumbo my mother didn't approve of the Pink Elephants sequence and decided to do a little bit of editing and cut the whole part out of the movie. It was ''years'' before I found out the sequence even existed. I was a senior in high school when I finally I rented the movie on Netflix and saw it for the first time. Man, it was trippy. * The Heffalumps and Woozles room at the Disneyland Winnie the Pooh ride is one of these, just like the scene it was based on. This troper had the bad fortune to be in that room when the ride suddenly stopped, meaning he was trapped in the room with the song playing repeatedly, for the better part of an hour.

DisobeyThisMessage * This troper has actually allowed this idea to overtake her life, to the point where it is nearly impossible for her to get along with anyone other than herself. Not only do I hate the people who think they're clever by rebelling, I hate the kind of people who think they're clever for hating people who think they're clever by rebelling. I've developed a HairTriggerTemper over the past few years. ** Wow, and I thought I was the only one who had that problem! That paradox pretty much drove me crazy until I realized that I was falling into hypocrisy by caring what others said/did/believed in the first place. My solution: I'll like what I like and do what I want, thank you very much, and if others like/do/think the same thing, or like/do/think another thing, then good for them--that's their decision to make and I won't let it affect mine. *** That makes two of us. :) **** Three! We should make a club. Or something. ***** Wouldn't that invalidate the point of it? Anyway, I (none of the above tropers) would probably show up in a clown suit, or my usual vaguely-gothic outfit. Whatever seemed more interesting at the time. Screw sticking it to The Man via non-conformist conformity and all. *** [[{{JChance}} I've]] reached the same point, of liking what I like whether it's popular, rebellious against one group but popular with another, or completely obscure...and I say, along the same lines, if we ''want'' to form a club, why not? Also, as far as recognised symbols of rebellion, mass-marketed or not, I have to say that they can be insincere or not. Do they mean something personally, or are you just trying to sign on for the sake of joining? **** Oh God this is what I keep thinking like - make it 4. I feel pretty genre savvy so I realise things I'm doing, and then I think "wait, if i realise i'm doing this, does it mean i'm trying to be

this?" and then it goes back and forth. I always called it morality ping pong. **** Make that 5. It appears to me that you just can't win these days - if you like something mainstream, you're a conformist, but if you like '''anything''' out of the mainstream, you're either trying to hard to be a nonconformist, or worse, you get slapped with the dreaded "hipster" label (of which I can't even find a solid definition of. Go figure). *** [[{{Aryn}} My]] solution has been to be myself, which generally misses mainstream and non-conformist tendencies alike. For example, in my music tastes, I just steer clear of any and all lyrics, with notable exceptions, like [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann TTGL's]] ''[[CrowningMusicOfAwesome Rap Wa Kan No Tamashii Da!]]'' * This troper has pointed out to his class that he hoped none of them missed the irony of sitting in class receiving the wisdom of Ralph Waldo Emerson, when the only reasonable thing he ever wrote was that you shouldn't take your opinions from long-dead philosophers. ** He said wrote lots of reasonable things! Though admittedly this troper isn't American, and thus never had the high-school beingforced-to-study-something-ruins-it experience. * This troper has a shirt that says "Subvert the dominant paradigm." It seems to be referring to many people who follow this trope religiously. * This troper's teacher was talking about Socrates's subversiveness with his "question everything" and "all your teachers are lying to you." --> '''Me''': So we should question every teacher? --> '''Teacher''': Yes. --> '''Me''': Including Socrates? --> '''Teacher''': Yes. --> '''Me''': Including you? --> '''Teacher''': Yes. --> '''Me''': Even though you're the one telling us we should question everything? --> '''Teacher''': Exactly! --> '''Me''': (''brain hurting'') ** There is no paradox in his statement. Either you trust him, and therefore people similar to him as well, and he's telling you that's not a smart thing to do, or you do not trust him, in which case you can still agree with him if he says something which makes sense to you, and what he's saying isn't new. The only problem is that you cannot possibly question everything relevant to your life, and you therefore do need to have unfounded trust in people. * While at university, this troper had a lecture on the carnivale in writing, and how things can be turned on their head for fun. (I studied Creative Writing.) One of the instructions the lecturer gave was "Write, but disobey me." We all promptly didn't write anything, which was of course the wrong thing to do. Afterwards, she said only two people came close to total anarchy: one was a girl who had walked out when told to disobey, and the other was me who had taken my shoe off and threatened to throw it at the lecturer's head. I had nothing against her, it just seemed appropriate.

* Scrawled on one one of the many benches in school are the words "Question everything". I couldn't help writing underneath it: "Why should I?" * Am I the only person who thinks that these are all LogicBombs? * This troper started a forum adventure game called OBEY, which is based around this concept, and the main character spends the entire story doing the opposite of what people tell her- and falls into so many traps because of it. The eventual aesop is "obeying without reason is dumb, so is rebelling without reason." ---Don't [[DisobeyThisMessage click here]]. <<|TroperTales|>>

DisorganizedOutlineSpeech * This troper is known for conversations that go something like this: -->'''Troper:''' One, (long and convoluted sentence). Two, unless I said A before, in which case B--->'''Friend Being Ranted At:''' No, it is two. -->'''Troper:''' Okay, two: ...wait, crap, what was two? * While chatting with a friend on Facebook I started listing my favourite ''StarTrek'' movies in descending order. This was shortly after the 11th came out, and I realised as I reached that I'd missed one because I was counting down up to 10 instead of 11. My attempt to fix it just made it more awkward. * [[Tropers/MiraShio My entire class]] when reciting the periodic table. An example: -->'''Me''': *after reciting the first thirteen elements almost breathlessly* 14, Si, Silicon... wait, did I just say 13 or 14? * This troper does this with ''essays''. * Holy crap, my English teacher this year couldn't keep her head straight for two seconds. Usually, my only question is, "So what does that have to do with the question we first started with?" ---First, this is a TroperTales page. B, it isn't the main page. Secondly, you can go back to DisorganizedOutlineSpeech here, and five.. no, wait...

DisproportionateRetribution * My brother once spat in my just opened bottle of sarsaparilla. When I was done drinking he laughed his ass off and told me he'd spat in it. Later that day, when he grabbed his cup to rinse out his mouth while brushing his teeth, he got a mouthful of what he at first thought was water, but turned out to have a much higher urine content. He also had his pillow spat in (below the cover, so it wasn't as obvious) for a whole month. It's been around seven years since then, and to the extent of my knowledge he's yet to spit in another drink of mine, and to the extent of his knowledge I've yet to piss in a drink

of his. * ThisTroper's father just stabbed him in the forehead with a fork for supposedly using derivative (as in a show is too derivative) incorrectly. ThisTroper's father didn't even apologize. * This Troper can be a [[CompleteMonster Complete Monster]] when playing video games. In games when team killing is possible, I've been known to kill my own allies when they kill an enemy I wanted to kill. ** People like you are why we cannot have nice things. * When this troper's sister stayed at an MIT frat house to complete a summer internship at Harvard, the fratboys there often stole her bags of cherries, one of her {{Trademark Favorite Food}}s. Keep in mind that these 1-pound bags of cherries only cost $5 a bag. Eventually she got so fed up with their continually [[AccidentalInnuendo stealing her cherries]] (and trashing her living quarters with their parties) that she stole a $60 bottle of Drambuie alcohol from their pantry to take home as a souvenir. ** An Internship often lasts for at the very least a month. If they were continually stealing her cherries, and she always bought more, it's entirely possible she wound up paying more than $60. ... Also, what kind of crazy frat has expensive alcohol? * This troper likes to get horrible revenge on her Sims if they do something she doesn't like. One sim got killed for kicking over someone's garbage. ** [[VideogameCrueltyPotential You too, huh?]] ** In my game, I made it a crime to ''use Love Potion #8.5 as it was an illegal drug...'' Penalty: Execution by firing squad. Here's some crimes and punishments: *** ''Vampirism:'' Execution by fire *** ''Public WooHoo (Disturbing public decency):'' Life stage imprisonment for both parties *** ''Attacking emergency personnel:'' Life or execution for army and federal agents, TWO life stages for firefighters and police *** ''Refusal to pay bills:'' Repossession and life stage ban on owning a house (Implementing this for when I get Apartment Life) *** ''Possession and/or use of Love Potion, Vamprocillin-D or Magical Powers:'' Execution for Love Potion and Vamprocillin-D, life in prison for Magic Powers (AL) ** This troper once killed a Nanny for causing a potty trained toddler to wet himself. ** [[Tropers/TropicalSnow This Troper]] does that too! * When this troper is playing Medieval II: {{Total War}}, on his first playthrough, he kept being attacked by several factions. We'd have a war for a while, then ask for a ceasefire. Eventually it got so annoying that I went all [[MassEffect Reaper]] on them. No offers of ceasefires, just CONQUERCONQUERCONQUER. * [[{{MiraShio}} This troper's]] ex-dad used to ground me from the Internet for a couple of weeks whenever I don't get to drink eight glasses of water a day. -o** That ranks up there with the time my dad grounded me for arguing with him. Okay, but guess what it was about. I commented that once I had a case of E. coli when I was around six. My dad argued that I never did. Cue the grounding when I insisted. [[spoiler:A week later

my dad said, very casually over the breakfast table that he did, in fact, remember the time I had E. coli. Was there an apology for the now-useless grounding? Of course there wasn't.]] ** That [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] blows. I think you should show your father this page and gently ask him to apologize or this troper might just [[HypocriticalHumor FIND OUT WHERE EXACTLY HE LIVES]] AND [[PokeThePoodle CHASE HIM WITH A DVD]] OF THE {{GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE}} WHILE [[FridayThe13th DRESSED UP AS JASON VORHEES.]] * This troper was born male, and was sentenced a year's full-time community service for the "crime". ** [[{{MKH90}} I'm]] presuming this has something to do with conscription? * This troper sometimes employed this. Although once it was perfectly justified: discussing with an enemy, he called me his friend. Threw my case, missed. [[ThrowTheBookAtThem Threw my notebook]], right in his face! (and I didn't even think before attacking, it was practically reflex.) For a case he once saw, a guy (brother of a classmate) said to a classmate something bad about his girlfriend. The classmate replied by punching him hard enough for his mouth to bleed and require stitches! * I added [[SpongebobSquarepants Mr. Krabs]] to the CompleteMonster page once. They deleted it, flipped me off, started saying I don't understand the trope and just read the name of it, went against this entry, became rude to me, and banned me for a day. ** [[FridgeLogic They e-flipped you off?]] Deleting it and saying you did not understand the trope are quite called for, as the first two criteria (if not the others) of CompleteMonster are in stark contrast to the style of villainy of Mr. Krabs. Banning you for a day might have been taking it a bit far, but users who seem not to know what they are doing should not be editing until they have a better idea of it, and temporarily banning users who so evidently misinterpret the CompleteMonster trope might seem to be a good way to help clean up the trope. As for rudeness, it depends on what the extent of the rudeness was... * This Troper once unleashed a NoHoldsBarredBeatdown on a guy twice her size. His crime? Insulting her favourite film, and her favourite character in said film. Granted, he was doing this ad nauseum, but still. Needless to say, he never wanted to be within a five mile radius of her again. * This troper spent about 15 minutes using the computer at my youth centre, putting up with a jerkass poking me with a pool cue every minute. On my way out I flipped him off, causing him to follow me down the street and into a shopping arcade, where he beat me to the floor and started kicking me. * [[EinDose This troper]] roleplays in CityOfHeroes, with a character that's a known fan of Disproportionate Retribution. Such crimes include dealing with his childhood bully by lacing his food with a high-powered explosive, killing an ex-girlfriend for just generally not being very bright (to be fair, there is something of a FreudianExcuse going with those two - he attributes the fatal flaw of everybody who wronged him being lack of intelligence, and believes the world needs to be smarter by any means necessary), and delivering a

fatal dose of electricity to a woman who dared interrupt his phone call. This does have a negative side-effect, however, in that when he's actually fair about something (YourMileageMayVary, but I think trying to kill your murderer after you [[IGotBetter get better]] is proportionate) he's still considered to be taking it too far. ** Understandable, but shouldn't that character be a villain in that game? *** Yeah, he should definitely be a villain. There '''is''' ''City of Villains'', you know. * This troper has a twin brother which his friends often confuse for the other. In one incident in the locker room, he called him a "stupid motherfucking KKK racist bastard" and swore he would do his best to make sure the poor dipshit would fail at everything he tried. * In Command & Conquer: Generals, this troper's computer opponent made the mistake of hitting his trade center with an aurora-strike. In retaliation, I hit his base with 37 SCUD Storms loaded with Anthrax gamma, obliterating it in the blink of an eye. * At the [=McDonald's=] where this troper works, as we were going through the breakfast rush, we saw a guy run into our parking lot, followed quickly by five police cars and an animal control car from the opposite entrance. A man built like a linebacker leapt out of the animal control car and tackled the running guy and, apparently, they hit the ground so hard the running guy needed some [=EMTs=] to look at his head before the cops threw him in the back of one of their cars. So, what had this guy done? Well, [[TooDumbToLive he had robbed the store that was literally across the street from the police station.]] What did he take? A couple cartons of cigarettes. Do ''not'' steal cigarettes in my city, the law will find you and make you ''pay''. * Like most people here, I can only come up with a video game example, but here it is. I was playing the Empire in StarWars: [[RealTimeStrategy Empire At War:]] [[ColonCancer Forces Of Corruption]]. The Rebels had just committed a few small harassing attacks on my planets which eventually annoyed me so much that I built a Death Star and blew every single one of their planets to bits. ''Burn in hell, Rebel scum!'' * This troper has one which I would have put in berserk button, but that is blocked, but it still kinda falls into here. After a long week of being sick as a dog, and because of that being off work, and because of that being conscripted by his father into helping move house. I finally get home tired and all I want to do is sit back, relax, and watch some {{One Piece}} on my computer before having to go to work the next day, and guess what? I turn on my computer and find that it has been messed with. My friends had put a {{squick}}-inducing background and played with it so that it restarted every minute and opened all of my games at once. I was so pissed that I kicked over my chair; I knew it was a prank, but wasn't in the mood. Knowing nothing of how to fix it, I woke up my hungover flat mate, who did something to stop it. It wasn't until later that my other flatmate walks in with a smug grin saying: -->Flat Mate; "so did you find something wrong with your computer?" -->Me: "is it alright if I punch you now?" -->Flat Mate; "no because you punch hard."

** I did it anyway; punching my flat mate so hard in the arm that the he almost cried and had a huge bruise which ached for two weeks afterwards. It was not until later that I found out the flat mate hadn't had much to do with the sabotage at all and the rest of my mates (the ones actually involved) had yet to have disproportionate retribution dealt to them, they will have it soon or later and I will make sure to post it on here. *** [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} This troper]] says the Above Troper's flatmate had it coming - if someone messed with [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} this troper]]'s computer like that though, he would at the least dealt a GroinAttack or two on the culprit... * [[{{Kadorhal}} I]]'ve noticed that the AI in ''Left4Dead'' loves dishing this out upon me and my teammates if we ever let it be known that we're fed up with their [[ArtificialStupidity mind-numbing stupidity]]. The most recent example is from a singleplayer session Charger hits me on a stairwell, Coach pisses off a Witch and gets himself killed while trying to help, and Rochelle gets hit by a Smoker. What does Ellis do? [[HeroicBSOD Stand completely still and do nothing.]] I ended up having to use the console to kick all the Special Infected involved, plus Ellis. What do I get for removing Ellis? [[BossRush Dozens of Witches, thousands of Chargers,]] and [[MultiMookMelee billions of zombies from that point to the end of the map]]. * This troper had an infected toe. {{Squick}}, I know. Standing on said toe was a serious {{Berserk Button}} for him at the time. One time at a prize-giving ceremony for the school, a fellow classmate (read {{Jerkass}}) walked backwards and stood on the toe by accident. This troper politely shoved the classmate and told him to "Not stand on my toe!". The {{Jerkass}} shoved this troper back saying "It was a [[PrecisionFStrike f**king]] accident!". The classmate then crossed the {{Moral Event Horizon}} by attempting to stand on the toe for the rest of the day. * Three examples for this troper: ** Do something as minor as not stopping to do something when I ask can net you a screaming ball of fury trying to claw your eyes out and aim for your throat. I have gotten a lot better about that, but there are still occasions (e.g. Once, I was high strung and instead of going to cool off, I went to line up for lunch. A person commented on me budging, if I recall, and I replied by biting their arm and attacking them. There is a reason I take medication.) ** Total Annihilation Kingdoms example. Once, I was playing, and kept getting pounded. I eventually staved off the attack and even stole one of their mages for building. Cue me making three of the four (one of the races wasn't on the map) race dragons and a huge army of drakes that razed everything in their path. Did I just send them to the base? No. I selected all of them and had them attack one target at a time, then let them scatter (in groups of 10-15) to destroy any stragglers. THEN I finished the mission objective. ** Pokemon. In Pearl, Cynthia beat me. I kept trying (by resetting) until I saw the last Pokemon I needed to see to get the National Dex. Cue me using the Pal Park to transfer over a team of level 100s, followed by me completely destroying the Elite 4 in one run through.

* A guy I know had people get him and this other guy mixed up because they looked alike or something. The guy got tired of it, misquoted what he said about a video game making it sound like a death threat, and got him kicked out of school. * This Troper was de facto expelled from school, and barred from participating in any school activities, even his own graduation. After he used pepper spray on a student who ''attacked him'' in a position that could have caused asphyxiation if prolonged. This Troper's act of self defense qualified as "Assault" (A police officer even implying that I could be charged with "Assault with a Caustic Chemical). Meanwhile, the offending student was let off with a slap on the wrist. My therapist implied that this overwhelming reaction was because they feared I would become a school shooter. ** Once, this troper was suspended from school. For being choked by another kid. At least he got suspended too. ** Am I correct in assuming this other student was [[AbuseIsOkayWhenItsFemaleOnMale female]]? * I have a humorous case of this and a not so humorous case: Let's go with the unhumorous case first. This troper has held this grudge against this girl for the following "crimes": 1) Acting attentive in one class and then being all spacey in another (seriously, what the hell?) 2) Wearing her shirt too low. She told her to pull it up and her friend said "Shut up Troper." She then did a presentation on women's rights in history. A tad hypocritical? [[YourMileageMayVary Maybe]] [[SeriousBusiness if you're that picky about crap.]] 3) [[BunnyGirl Wearing bunny ears with another girl to school on dress up day at school.]] 4)Happening to get the attractive history this troper wanted in tenth grade (this troper and her already had him the year before and developed a crush on him). 5) Accused of being dispespectful by playing with her nails (if you've gotten this far, commence either laughing or banging your head against a wall) which made this troper want to call her out for reasons 2 and 3. 6) She happened to be a [[AllGuysWantCheerleaders cheerleader.]] Put reasons 2, 3, 4, and 6 and you could tell that this troper is a [[{{Understatement}} BIT]] of a {{Yandere}}, a ClingyJealousGirl, and an [[JerkAss ass]]. [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone Wow. That's sad.]] ** On a [[PlayedForLaughs humorous]] note, there was this time where my friend (jokingly) said that his father owed him a car FOR EATING ONE OF HIS COOKIES. I even [[LampshadeHanging pointed this out by saying this trope name.]] * This troper consistently insults and yells when his computer doesn't work. He's flicked it off, and one nearly punched it for not doing a search on DeviantART. Also, once shouted "bite me" at his mother when she asked me if I just woke up. Went to anger management, and now he's better. ** Also, once some kid was calling me fat, or something to that affect, so I punched him. He starts trying to choke me, shouting "I'll kill you!" Later, he apologized, and I've never seen him again. * This troper once accidentally ate his sister's dessert. Her response? [[AxeCrazy Ran at him with a hurl]] (like a hockey stick, except really f***ing heavy). * This troper made an excellently humorous status update on Facebook,

only for one of his friends to point out the joke. This troper proceeded to link that friend to DontExplainTheJoke, [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife thus exposing him to TV Tropes and sucking him in for the rest of his life]]. * This Troper had a job in a factory for a couple months, when one time he was told he was coming back from break late too many times. I quickly apologized to my supervisor, promised it wouldn't happen again, and suggested they dock my pay as punishment. The supervisor looked at me like I had just personally insulted her infant son and walked away. I quickly forgot about it and went back to work. No more than fifteen minutes later, the head honcho comes up to me and pulls me aside. He yells at me for being late so many times, for "getting snippy" with my supervisor, mentions how much said supervisor, and him for that matter don't like me, and immediately terminates my contract. He tells me to hand over my card and, "Get the fuck out of here." He follows me until I leave the factory and proceeds to inform me that I am now barred from ever coming on the premises again. Makes it kind of a pain since this Troper's friend also works there and carpools with him. * This troper's high school teacher arranged a student-teacher-parent conference over {{Pokemon}} fanart, but turned a completely blind eye to some of the male students [[DudeNotFunny laughing and hooting at the explosions during the 9/11 Twin Towers attack]]. * There was a bully at school who decided to beat up one of this troper's friends. Me and another mate cornered the said bully, [[GroinAttack kicked him in the nuts]], and give him a beating twice as bad as the one he gave my friend. ** I believe You're looking for the ''{{LaserGuidedKarma}}'' section as well as ''{{CrowningMomentOfAwesome}}'' * [[{{neoYTPism}} This troper]] was once picked on a bit in middle school by one guy on the hockey team, and picked on worse by the people said guy from the hockey team associated with. One day, when said guy got into a spleen-rupturing accident on the hockey rink, he ended up hospitalized for a while, and when said guy came back I said "I'd frankly have been happier if you died in the hospital" to him. I didn't quite mean it, and I later apologized, [[PayEvilUntoEvil but the point is that the reason I said it to him was because it was something I thought he deserved to hear]]. * [[{{Tropers/Betterthanstrawberry}} This troper]] once saw a pay toilet (the kind with horrific hygiene and buckets for flushing, not the kind that you put a coin into and cleans itself automatically) guarded by a cop wielding a Norinco Type 56 assault rifle. I wish I could make this up. * This troper would like to share a recent news story with you all and it goes a little something like this: A man at a party was extremely intoxicated and farting uncontrollably. Fellow partygoers proceeded to deride his flatulent state. Offended, he leaves the party and all goes back to normal. Forty-five minutes later, he returns with three knives and proceeds to start stabbing everything in sight. Four people are hospitalized, one of whom dies from his injuries. No, [[,0,3311130.story I'm really not kidding.]]

* [[{{Tropers/Luigifan}} This Troper]] is pretty mellow now, but trust me, I was one heck of a BullyHunter in my youth. In first grade, I made the schoolyard bully scared stiff of me by repeatedl