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ÌI0VO0 announccdȈ aȈ compct¡t¡onȈ 1otȈ t hcȈ bcstȈ
po|¡t¡ca|Ȉjokc.Ȉ
l¡tstȈ pt¡zc:Ȉ TcnȈ ¶catsȈ fotccdȈ |abot.Ȉ
VHLÏALL
S¡nccȈ t hcȈ htstȈ cd¡t¡onȈ ofȈth¡sȈcoIIcct¡onȈ WasȈ pub-
I¡shcdȈ ¡nȈ !9ó9,Ȉ t hcȈ Sov¡ctȈ Emp¡tcȈ hasȈ conquctcdȈ
motcȈ coI on¡csȈ andȈ hasȈ ¿toWnȈ motcȈ poWctfuI;Ȉ ¡nȈ
pattȈ bccauscȈ Amct¡cansȈ havcȈ bccnȈ IuIIcdȈ ¡ntoȈ
catcftccȈ ¡nd¡ñctcnccȈ b¶Ȉ thcȈ ttustccsȈ ofȈt hc¡tȈ sccu-
I1l)¡ WHO HuVc HuUc ¡Î_Ht O1 "tHc ÎDOtUÎDatc 1cat O1
Commun¡sm.Ȉ"Ȉ
YhatȈ ¡sȈ Commun¡smȈI¡kc"Ȉ
ThcȈ fuIIȈ ansWctȈcanȈ bcȈIcatncdȈb¶ȈI¡v¡n¿ȈundctȈ ¡t;Ȉ
aȈ patt¡aIȈ v¡cWȈcanȈ bcȈ¿a¡ncdȈb¶Ȉtcad¡n¿Ȉ suchȈWotksȈ
asȈ SoIzhcn¡ts¶n'sȈ LuÍ0g .ICHI]8Í0gO.
ButȈ aȈ¿I¡mpscȈ ofȈthcȈ scnscIcssȈ btutaI¡t¶Ȉ ofȈCom-
mun¡smȈ¡sȈ aIso,Ȉ¡nȈ¡tsȈWa¶, Ȉcau¿hDzȈb¶Ȉt hcȈjokcȈ ofȈt hcȈ
sncczcȈ thatȈ ¡ntcttuptcdȈ StaI¡n'sȈ spccchȈ (tƾcȈ htstȈ ¡nȈ
th¡sȈcoIIcct¡on) .ȈThcȈstot¶Ȉ¡s,Ȉ ofȈcoutsc,ȈputcȈhct¡on;Ȉ
¶ctȈ thcȈ factȈ that,Ȉ I¡kcȈ thcȈ othctȈ j okcs,Ȉ ¡tȈ madcȈ t hcȈ
tounds,Ȉ ¡nȈ Wh¡spctsȈ andȈ am¡dȈ subducdȈ I au¿htct,Ȉ
thtou¿hȈaIIȈ ofȈt hcȈ Sov¡ctȈ Emp¡tcȈ shoWsȈ thatȈ ¡tȈ WasȈ
¡nvcntcdȈWcII.Ȉ!nI¶ȈthcȈĭust¡hcdȈĮokcsȈ ofȈt h¡sȈsava¿cȈ
humotȈ sutv¡vcȈ b¶Ȉ natutaIȈ scIcct¡onȈ ¡nȈ aȈ host¡IcȈ
cnv¡tonmcnt.Ȉ
Yh¶Ȉ arcȈ thcscȈ j okcsȈ whispcrcd"Ȉ Yh¶Ȉ isȈ thcȈ
I au¿htcrȈ subducd"Ȉ ThcrcȈ arcȈ somcȈ ¶oun¿Ȉ
AmcricansȈ toȈ whomȈ thcȈ answcrȈ isȈ notȈ obvious:Ȉ
bccauscȈ inȈ 5taIin'sȈ da¶Ȉ thcȈ pcna|t¶Ȉ ofȈ tcI|in¿,Ȉ orȈ
cvcnȈIistcnin¿Ȉto,Ȉ oncȈ ofȈthcscȈstoricsȈ wasȈ !0Ȉ ¶carsȈ
forccdȈ Iabor,Ȉ whichȈ inȈ thoscȈ da¶sȈ oftcnȈ mcantȈ
dcathśȈ 1nȈ thcȈT0'sȈ itȈ¿otȈaȈIitt|cȈ bcttcr,Ȉ andȈ nowȈ itȈ isȈ
¿cttin¿Ȉ worscȈ a¿ain,Ȉ forȈ asȈ anothcrȈ j okcȈ hasȈ it,Ȉ
sociaI istȈ rca|ismȈ (thcȈ oƷciƛII¶Ȉ approvcdȈ schooIȈ ofȈ
art)Ȉ hasȈ bccnȈrcpIaccdȈ b¶Ȉ nco-rcprcssionism.Ȉ
1nȈan¶Ȉ casc,Ȉ whatȈ ¶ouȈ arcȈ nowȈ hoIdin¿Ȉ inȈ¶ourȈ
handsȈ addsȈ upȈtoȈscvcraIȈ ccnturicsȈ ofȈforccdȈ Iabor.Ȉ
1Ȉ hcardȈ virtua|I¶Ȉ cvcr¶ oncȈ ofȈthcscȈstoricsȈ whiIcȈ
lȈ stiI|Ȉ|ivcdȈinȈthcȈCzcchosIovakȈcoIon¶Ȉ ofȈthcȈ5ovictȈ
EmpircȈ ( throu¿hȈ !9ó3);Ȉ 1Ȉ havcȈdoncȈ noȈ morcȈ thanȈ
5cÌcCl uDO ȘƹǽÌðIōɄ șHCƥ.Ʉ ¡ HdYÛ dUUÛU SÛYÛIdÎ lhalȈ
camcȈtoȈ mindȈ a¿ainȈaftcrȈpubIishin¿ȈthcȈhrstȈcditionȈ
[ undcrȈthcȈtitIcȈ ÜHIS]8I8O 7H8COOl8S inȈ !9ó9Ġ;Ȉ andȈ
1Ȉ havcȈomittcdȈ aȈfcwȈthatȈdidȈIittIcȈtoȈthrowȈIi¿htȈonȈ
thcȈ charactcrȈ ofȈ CommunismȈ andȈ IifcȈ undcǦȈ it.Ȉ
1Ȉ thinkȈ thcȈrcadcrȈwiIIȈ ¿ctȈmorcȈoutȈofȈthcscȈjokcsȈ ifȈ
hcȈrcadsȈ thcmȈinȈscqucnccȈ(whichȈI oosc|¶Ȉ tc|IsȈ somcȈ
sortȈ ofȈstor¶),Ȉ rathcrȈthanȈ nibb|NJn¿Ȉ hcrcȈandȈ thcrc.Ȉ
ThcscȈjokcsȈhcIpȈtoȈkccpȈupȈthcȈspiritsȈ ofȈthcȈscrfsȈ
ofȈthcȈ 5ovictȈ Empirc.Ȉ
Ma¶Ȉ thc¶Ȉ hcIpȈAmcricansȈ toȈ undcrstandȈ whatȈ itȈ
isȈ thatȈ isȈ thrcatcnin¿Ȉ thcm.Ȉ
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1h8 bn8828
5taIinȈaddrcsscsȈ aȈscssionȈ ofȈthcȈ 5uprcmcȈ 5ovictȈ
inȈthcȈKrcmIin.Ȉ AȈI oudȈ sncczcȈintcrruptsȈhisȈspccch.Ȉ
"YhoȈ wasȈ that,Ȉ comradcs" 'Ȉ
MoȈ answcr.Ȉ
"Guards!Ȉ ìiquidatcȈ thcȈ hrstȈ row. 'Ȉ
ThcȈ ¿uardsȈ stcpȈ forwardȈ withȈ thcirȈ subă
machincȈ ¿unsȈ andȈ mowȈ downȈ thcȈ firstȈ rowȈ ofȈ
mcmbcrsȈ ofȈthcȈ5uprcmcȈ5ovict.Ȉ
"YhoȈwasȈ it""Ȉ 5taIinȈasksȈ forȈ thcȈ sccondȈ timƫ.Ȉ
MoȈ answcǧ.Ȉ
"Guards!ȈìiquidatcȈ thcȈsccondȈ row. 'Ȉ
ThcȈ ¿uardsȈ mowȈ downȈ thcȈ sccondȈ IOW OÎ lDC
>UjICUC ĂOȩƈŌȗ.Ʉ
"YhoȈwasȈ it" 'ȈasksȈ 5taIinȈa¿ainďȈ
AȈ dcput¶Ȉ standsȈ upȈ inȈ thcȈthirdȈ rowŪȈ
"1tȈ wasȈ mc,Ȉ ComradcȈ 5taI inď'Ȉ
¨L8SuHOH8Ilͯ cxcI aimsȈ 5ta1inȈandȈcontinucsȈwithȈ
hisȈ spccch.Ȉ
Ï8lSÌghl80
AfDZcrȈ thcȈcoupȈ ofȈ !948,Ȉ KIƬmcntȈ GottwaId,Ȉ thcȈ
CzcchȈ CommunistȈ I cadcr,Ȉ bccamcȈ prcsidcnt.Ȉ 1nȈ aȈ
¿csturcȈaimcdȈatȈthcȈIar¿cI¶Ȉ CathoIicȈ popuIation,ȈhcȈ
attcndcdȈ aȈ 18 18uH inȈ hisȈ ownȈ honor.Ȉ
Ourin¿Ȉ thcȈ scrvicc,Ȉ sa¶sȈ thisȈ stor¶,Ȉ hisȈ wifcȈ
ƆartaȈ whispcrcdȈ toȈhim:Ȉ
"OoȈ ¶ouȈ sccȈ thatȈ manȈ onȈ thcȈ cross"Ȉ Hc,Ȉ too,Ȉ
wantcdȈ thcȈsaIvationȈ ofȈmankind,Ȉ andȈ whcrcȈdidȈ itȈ
¿ctȈ him"Ȉ Thc¶Ȉ crucihcdȈ himȈ. . . Ȉ 'Ȉ
"Oon' tȈ worr¶, ' Ȉ GottwaIdȈ whispcrcdȈ back.Ȉ "B¶Ȉ
thcȈ timcȈ 1Ȉ amȈ throu¿hȈ withȈ thcȈ CzcchosIovakȈ
cconom¶,Ȉ thcrcȈ won'tȈ bcȈ aȈ picccȈ ofȈ wood,Ȉ norȈ aȈ
sin¿IcȈ naiIȈ I cft.Ȉ. . Ȉ'Ȉ
ÏÌ8Sc0
GottwaIdȈ hasȈ IostȈ hisȈ pipcȈ andȈ phoncsȈ thcȈ
MinistcrȈ ofȈ thcȈ 1ntcriorȈ (inȈ char¿cȈ ofȈ thcȈ sccrctȈ
poI icc) .Ȉ ButȈ haI fȈanȈ hourȈ IatcrȈȇMartaȈ brin¿sȈ itȈ toȈ
him;Ȉ itȈ hadȈ sIippcdȈ undcrȈthcȈcouch.Ȉ HcȈ phoncsȈ toȈ
rcscindȈ hisȈ prcviousȈ ordcrs.Ȉ
"TooȈbad, 'Ȉsa¶sȈ thcȈministcr.Ȉ "ThcȈbo¶sȈ havcȈar-
rcstcdȈ !50Ȉ suspccts,Ȉ andŊȈ !20Ȉ ofȈthcmȈ havcȈ aIrcad¶Ȉ
confcsscdȈ. . . Ȉ 'Ȉ

H8l8lÌVÌly
ThcȈ diñcrcnccȈ bctwccnȈ anȈ optimistȈ andȈ Ö
pcssimist.Ȉ
AnȈ optimistȈ cxpcctsȈ toȈ bcȈdcportcdȈ toȈ 5ibcria.Ȉ
AȈ pcssimistȈ cxpcctsȈ thc¶Ȉ wiIIȈ makcȈ himȈ waIkȈ aIIȈ
thcȈ wa¶.Ȉ
An0lh8l V8lSÌ0n
ƒLcȈ pcssīmīstȈsa¶sȈ "ThisȈ isȈ thcȈ uItimatcȈdc¿radaĄ
tion.ȈYc'rcȈrcaII¶Ȉ inȈ thcȈsoupȈnow.Ȉ ltȈjustȈcan'tȈ¿ctȈ
an¶Ȉ worsc. 'Ȉ
ButȈ thcȈ optimistȈ objccts:Ȉ "!hȈ¶cs,Ȉ itȈcanȈ. . .Ȉ'Ȉ
1h8 ÏÌ8l
AȈ ccIIȈ inȈ prison.Ȉ AȈ ncwȈ prisoncrȈ hasȈ justȈ bccnȈ
brou¿htȈ in.Ȉ
"HowȈmuchȈdidȈ¶ouȈ¿ct" 'ȈaskȈ thcȈothcrȈinmatcs.Ȉ
"25Ȉ ¶cars . ' Ȉ
"YhatȈdidȈ ¶ouȈdo" ' Ȉ
"Mothin¿!Ȉ BcI icvcȈ mc,Ȉ ÍɄ amȈ innoccnt! 'Ȉ
"!h,Ȉ comcȈ oƱƲȈ it!Ȉ YouȈ onI¶Ȉ ¿ctȈ l8H ¶carsȈ forȈ
that .Ȉ . . Ȉ 'Ȉ
JuSlm80
"HavcȈ ¶ouȈ hcardȈ thcȈ Iatcst"Ȉ CzcchosIovakiaȈ isȈ
¿o¡n¿Ȉ toȈ havcȈ anȈ adm¡raIt¶. 'Ȉ
ĆYhat"Ȉ AnȈadm¡raǒt¶Ȉ ¡ nȈaȈcountr¶Ȉ thatȈdocsȈ notȈ
bordcrȈonȈ thcȈsca" 'Ȉ
"5o"ȈYcȈhavcȈ aȈ JusticcȈOcpartmcnt,Ȉ don' tȈwc" 'Ȉ
1hl88 ÌS 8 Ll0W0
lorȈdccadcs,Ȉ×ichardȈ 5IánskýȈhadȈ bccnȈthcȈno.Ȉ2Ȉ
manȈ inȈ thcȈ CzcchosIovakȈ CommunistȈ Fart¶.Ȉ 1nȈ
!950,Ȉ hcȈsuddcnI¶Ȉ fcIIȈ ¡ntoȈdisfavorȈ andȈ onȈ5taIin'sȈ
ordcrs,Ȉ hisȈ |ifc-Ion¿ȈcomradcȈGottwaIdȈ hadȈ h¡mȈar-
rcstcd.Ȉ
ĜhrccȈ prisoncrsȈ inȈ aȈccll.Ȉ
"Yh¶Ȉ didȈ thc¶Ȉ IockȈ¶ouȈ up" 'Ȉ
"1Ȉ spokcȈ badI¶Ȉ ofȈ5IánskĞ. 'Ȉ
"AndȈ ¶ou" 'Ȉ
"1Ȉ spokcȈ wcllȈ ofȈ5lánskĞ. 'Ȉ
"AndȈ ¶ou" 'Ȉ
"1Ȉ 0H 5ƽánský. ľȈ
%88 Lulp8
1nȈ !95 ! , Ȉ5IánskýȈwasȈ brou¿htȈtoȈ aȈ showȈ tr¡aIȈ ¡ nȈ
thcȈ bcstȈ5ov¡ctȈ trad¡t¡ on:Ȉ BroadcastȈovcrȈ thcȈrad¡o,Ȉ
w¡thȈ aȈ packcdȈ aud¡cnccȈ thatȈ chccrcd,Ȉ appIaudcd,Ȉ
h¡sscdȈ orȈboocdȈasȈthcȈscr¡ptȈ rcqu¡rcd.Ȉ 5IánskýȈcon-
fcsscdȈ toȈ cvcr¶th¡n¿Ȉ fromȈ bc¡n¿ȈaȈpa¡dȈ a¿cntȈofȈ thcȈ
¡mpcr¡aI¡stsȈ toȈhav¡n¿ȈstoIcnȈh¡sȈ bcstȈfr¡cnd'sȈ watch.Ȉ
AftcrȈaȈ fcwȈda¶sȈ ofȈth¡sȈ show,Ȉ hcȈwasȈscntcnccdȈ toȈ
dcathȈ andȈ han¿cdȈ shortI¶Ȉ aftcrwards.Ȉ
!nȈthcȈn¡¿htȈofȈthcȈcxccut¡onȈhcȈcaIIsȈ forȈaȈpr¡cst.Ȉ
"1Ȉ wantȈ toȈ confcsǪŜȈ Îather.'
"Y ouȈ mcanȈ thcrcȈ ¡sȈ st¡IIȈ somcth¡n¿Ȉ ¶ouȈ havcn'tȈ
confcsscdȈ to""Ȉ
"1ndccd, ȈthcrcȈ¡s.Ȉ 1tȈwasȈ mcȈwhoȈ burntȈ JanȈ Hus,Ȉ
whoȈ bI¡ndcdȈ JanȈ
Ɨ
¡Ƙka'sȈ c¶c,Ȉ andȈ whoȈ IostȈ thcȈ
BattIcȈ ofȈthcȈYh¡ tcȈ Mounta¡n! "čȈ
¯ L2cch rcIí¿íOus rcIOrmcr Hus was burnt at thc stakc ìn
l 4lô,
_
ìzkawasaOnc-cycdHussìtcgcncraIìnthclÓthccntury,
and thc Vhìtc MOuntaìn was whcrc thc LZcchs IOst thcìr ìn-
dcpcndcncc IOr aImOst J0Ʉ ycars ìn lóZ0.
1B8 M8l88Íl8l
lnȈ !9ó2,Ȉ 5!ánsk¶Ȉ wasȈ cxoncratcdȈ andȈ dcc|arcdȈ
:nnoccntȈ ofȈa||Ȉ maĬorȈcrimcsȈ ofȈwhichȈ hcȈhadȈ bccnȈ
accuscd.Ȉ
"ÀɄOȢɄ kDOwɄ lhCɄ UIŚCǦCDįCɄ bctwccnȈ aȈ ChristianȈ
andȈ aȈ Communist!Ȉ
AȈ ChristianȈ bc|icvcsȈ inȈ posthumousȈ |ifc;Ȉ aȈCom-
munistȈ inȈ posthumousȈ cxoncration."Ȉ
1h8 L8ngSl8lS
AftcrȈ t hcȈ 5ħánsk¶Ȉ tria|,Ȉ thcȈ cxprcssionȈ "aȈ pro-
vocationȈ :nst:¿atcdȈ byȈ 5!ánsk¶Ȉ andȈ h:sȈ ¿an¿'Ȉ
bccamcȈ aȈ standardȈ c|ichĤȈofȈthcȈ CommunistȈ prcss.Ȉ
ThcȈ|on¿ȈstatcmcntȈ cxp|ainin¿Ȉ5ħánsk¶'sȈcxoncta-
tionȈ inȈ !9ó2Ȉ wasȈ fu||ȈofȈdoub|cȈta|kȈ andȈ contradic-
tions.Ȉ
"OoȈyouȈ knowȈ whoȈwasȈrcsponsib|cȈforȈthcȈ5!án-
sk¶Ȉ tria|!Ȉ 1tȈ wasȈ aȈ provocat:onȈ insti¿atcdȈ byȈ
5!ánsk¶Ȉ andȈ hisȈ ¿an¿!"Ȉ
1h8 b0un0 0Í lh8 bn8k8
ThcȈ MinistcrȈ ofȈ OcfcnscȈ inspccǯsȈ tıoopsȈ onȈ
paradc.Ȉ"5alutc,Ȉ comradcs!"Ȉ hcȈcallsȈ outȈ toȈ anȈ in-
fantryȈ unit;Ȉ "5alutc,Ȉ ComradcȈ Gcncral,"Ȉ thcyȈ
bcllowȈback,Ȉ asȈdcmandcdȈbyȈ5ovictȈ ArmyȈƊcƻuǑ8Ą
t ions.Ȉ čȈ McxtȈ arcȈt hcȈ artillcryȈ mcnĐȈ t hcy,Ȉ t oo,Ȉ rcplyȈ
"5alutc,Ȉ ComradcȈ Gcncral!"Ȉ atȈ t hcȈ t opȈ ofȈ thcirȈ
voiccs.Ȉ AndȈsoȈonȈunt ilȈ hcȈrcachcsȈt hcȈKGBȈ (sccrctȈ
policc)Ȉ units.Ȉ
"5alutc,Ȉ comradcs!"Ȉ hcȈcallsȈ outȈ toȈ thcm.Ȉ
BackȈ comcsȈ thcȈ rcsponscȈ inȈ aȈ chorusȈ ofȈ honcy-
swcctȈ whispcrs.Ȉ
"5alutc,Ȉ ComradcȈGcncral,Ȉ salutcȈ. . .Ȉ"Ȉ
LV8lyb00y ÌS M8µµ¶ P0W
AnȈ AmcricanȈ corrcspondcntȈ arrivcsȈ inȈ Czccho-
slovakia.ȈThcȈ hrstȈ thin¿Ȉ hcȈsccsȈ isȈaȈ ¿iantȈ strcamcrȈ
proclaimin¿Ȉ Eĝ£ƋYŰOŵYȈ ĕsȈ HēPPYȈ lĘȈ l£OPė£'sȈ
O£ƅOCƌ1ſCȈ CƖ£CĔOsėOĝŬĕē.Ȉ
Amazcd,Ȉ hcȈ buttonholcsȈ aȈ littlcȈ manȈ andȈ asksȈ
himȈtoȈcxplainȈthcȈ sccrctȈ ofȈthcȈ CzcchsĊȈ happincss.Ȉ
"Wcll,Ȉ youȈ scc,Ȉ it'sȈ likcȈ this,"Ȉ saysȈ thcȈ man.Ȉ
lȈcomcȈhomcȈaftcrȈ!0Ȉhours'Ȉ workȈandȈswitchȈonȈthcȈ
li¿ht ,ȈandȈ1ȈamȈhappyȈthcyȈhavcn'tȈcutȈthcȈpowcrȈto-
day.ȈThcnȈlȈ ¿oȈtoȈwashȈ mysclf,Ȉ andȈlȈ amȈhappyȈthcȈ
¯ 5OvíclArmyKc¿u|atíOnsa|sOa||OwanOmccrlOmakcuscOI
hís Iírcarm IOr maìntaìnìn¿ díscíp|ínc amOn¿hís mcn. Lndcr
Hí¿hlso] lhe5ovíel5oldíerOnc Iínds"AsO|dícrhaslhcrí¿hllO
cOmp|aín abOut anylhín¿ cxccpl lhcscvcríty OIhíslraínín¿and
lhc harshncss OI hís puníshmcnl."
WĜȕŊǥɄ IǼɄ ǥǶnnLjn¿.Ȉ ƑhcnȈJhcrcȈisȈaȈknockȈ aJȈJhcȈdoor.Ȉ
lJĉsȈ J hcȈ sccrcJȈ policc.Ȉ ThcyŚȈaskȈ "ArcȈyouȈ ComradcȈ
Iovƚkđ'Ȉ andȈ lȈ say,Ȉ "Io,Ȉ ComradcȈIovákȈ livcsȈ inȈ
JhcȈ aparJmcnJȈ abovcȈ mc,"Ȉ and, Ȉ boy,Ȉ amȈ lȈ happyȈ
JhaJȈ lȈ amȈnoJȈ ComradcȈIovák!"Ȉ
1h8 %0Sl Y8lu8bl8 ASS8l
LuI ÀOSl l0Íu0DÍ8 7SS8l IS lH8 ÍuH0H D8IH¿¸
saysȈ aȈ frcqucnJlyȈ hcardȈ CommunljsJȈ slo¿an.Ȉ
AȈ ¿roupȈ ofȈ forci¿nȈ JourisJsȈ visiJin¿Ȉ lra¿uƪȈ
dcsircsȈJ oȈsccȈ JhcȈ CzcchȈcrownȈ Įcwcls.ȈThcirȈ ¿uidcȈ
JakcsȈJhcmȈJoȈJhcȈCasJlc,ȈbuJȈJ hcyȈhavcȈbccnȈmovcdȈ
ƤurĪn¿Ȉ oncȈoưȈȚHCɄ [Cǧ[CIȤðÌɄ ICOI_uDÍzutÍOD5. Z1tCt
manyȈ JclcphoncȈ calls,Ȉ J hcyȈ hnallyȈ hndȈ JhcyȈ havcȈ
bccnȈ movcdȈJoȈaȈvilla¿cȈncarȈlra¿uc,ȈandȈJ hcrcȈJhcyȈ
hndȈ Jhcm.Ȉ ÍƵɄ aȈ dilapidaJcdȈ barnȈ JhaJȈ hasȈnoȈ lock,Ȉ
JhcȈpricclcsǩ,Ȉ ǰhousandŎycarȈ oldȈ JrcasurcȈ licsȈ inȈ J hcȈ
hay.Ȉ ThcȈvisiJorsȈ arcȈ amazcdȈ J haJȈ J hcȈ ¿ovcrnmcnJȈ
shouldȈ bcȈsoȈnc¿li¿cnJ.Ȉ
"Wcll,Ȉ youȈ scc,Ȉ "Ȉ cxplainsȈ JhcȈ ¿uidc,Ȉ "ourȈ mosJȈ
valuablcȈ asscJȈ isȈ JhcȈ humanȈ bcin¿ĐȈ andȈ whcrcȈ
humanȈ bcin¿sȈarcȈconccrncd,Ȉ ourȈ¿ovcrnmcnJȈ locksȈ
J hcmȈupȈ ¿oodȈ andȈ propcr."Ȉ
A ÏÌlll8 An0Wl80g8 ÌS 8 Ï8ng8l0uS 1hÌng
AȈ ctowdȈ o1Ȉ CzcchsȈ admitcsȈ theȈ LSȈ Ēmbas-
sadot'sȈ CadiIIacȈ patkcdȈ inȈ aȈ lta¿ucȈ sttcct .Ȉ !ncȈ o1Ȉ
thcmȈsa¶sȈ t oȈhisȈ nci¿hĢot:Ȉ
"1sn'tȈ itȈ Ģcaut i1uI"Ȉ YhatȈ aȈ showȈ ofȈ matutcȈ
tcchnoI o¿¶Ȉ andȈcconomicȈ powct!¨Ȉ
"Ycs, ¨ ȈanswctsȈthcȈ addtcsscdȈ man,Ȉ "aȈ ¿tcatȈ ptoĄ
ductȈ o1Ȉ 5ovictȈ industt¶Ȉ...Ȉ¨Ȉ
"YȈouȈctaz¶"Ȉ Oon'tȈ ¶ouȈ knowȈ aȈ CadiIIac"¨Ȉ
"5utcȈ 1Ȉ do.Ȉ lt'sȈ youȈ whoǔȈ lȈ don'tȈ know.¨Ȉ
Qu8Sll0n 1Ìm8
AtȈ thcȈcndȈ o1ȈaȈ ptopa¿andaȈ Icctutc,Ȉ toȈ whichȈaIIȈ
sct1sȈ o1Ȉ StaI in'sȈ EmpitcȈ wetcȈ subĭcctcdȈ wǃijhǛdzǫȈ
DCtCy ODCC u monIJh,Ȉ ǬhcȈspcakctȈsa¶s,Ȉć1IȈ¶ouȈhavcȈ
an¶Ȉ qucstions,Ȉ comtadcs,Ȉ fccIȈ ftccȈ toȈask.¨Ȉ
"1Ȉ havcȈ onc, ¨ Ȉsa¶sȈ ComtadcȈ
ű
ctný.Ȉ "YouȈ sa¶Ȉ
mcatȈ ptoductionȈ hasȈ doubIcd,Ȉ andȈ outȈ popuIationȈ
hasȈdcctcasedȈ b¶Ȉ3Ǒ miIIionȈcxpcIIcdȈ Gctmans.Ȉ ThcnȈ
howȈ comcȈ ¶ouȈ can'tȈ ¿ctȈ aȈ picceȈ o1Ȉ mcatȈ withoutȈ
standin¿Ȉ inȈ I incȈ 1otȈ houts" ¨Ȉ
"YcII , ¨ Ȉsa¶sȈt hcȈ ptopa¿andist,Ȉ "lȈ doȈnotȈ havcȈ thcȈ
ptcciscȈ mcatȈ statisticsȈ withȈ mcȈ toda¶.Ȉ ButȈ 1Ȉ wiIIȈ
IookȈ thcmȈ upȈ 1otȈ youȈ andȈ answetȈ ¶outȈ qucstionȈ
ncxtȈ wcck.¨Ȉ
McxtȈ wcckȈ hcȈ a¿ainȈ cndsȈ hisȈ IcctutcȈ withȈ "AtcȈ
t hctcȈ anyȈ qucstions"¨Ȉ
"ĖustȈ onc, ¨Ȉsa¶sȈ somcbod¶ŕȈ "YhctcȈ isȈ ComtadcȈ
Ų
ctný"¨Ȉ
1h8 ½Ìnn8l
1949Ȉ wasȈ thcȈ !50thȈ ann¡vctsatyȈ o1Ȉ thcȈ b¡tthȈ o1Ȉ
A.5.Ȉ lushk¡n,Ȉ ¿cnctaII yȈ cons¡dctcdȈ t hcȈ ¿tcatcstȈ
×uss¡anȈ poct.Ȉ¯hcȈ cvcntȈ wasȈ w¡dcIyȈccIcbtatcd.Ȉ
¯hcȈ 5uptcmcȈ 5ov¡ctȈ dcc¡dcdȈ toȈ bu¡IdȈ aȈ ncwȈ
monumcntȈtoȈt hcȈ poctȈandȈannounccdȈaȈcontcstȈ1otȈ
t hcȈ bcstȈ statuc.Ȉ AnȈ obscutcȈ ×uss¡anȈ scuIptotȈ wonȈ
thcȈ htstȈ pt¡zc.Ȉ
H¡sȈ statucȈ showcdȈ 5taI¡nȈ tcad¡n¿Ȉ lushk¡n'sȈ
poctty.Ȉ
L0mpHlHlÌV8 ÏÌl8lHlul8
!ncȈ o1Ȉ t hcȈ ¿tcatȈ ach¡cvcmcntsȈ o1Ȉ t hcȈ bcI ovcdȈ
5taI¡nȈ wasȈ thcȈ massȈcducat¡onȈ ¡nȈcIass¡caIȈI¡tctatutcȈ
ȔCɄ ȲhƄĮhɄ hcɄ ƅnědȨcǤtcntƞȾɄ oȴǏDŽǺodɄ ŰƆǻɄ sub]octt· 7ho
contcmpotatyȈ hct¡onȈ putȈ outȈ byȈ h¡sȈ stoo¿csȈ wasȈ
uttctIyȈuntcadabIc,ȈandȈ soȈ cvctybodyȈtutncdȈ toȈt hcȈ
cIass¡cs.Ȉ
¯yp¡caIȈ o1Ȉ t hcȈ untcadabIcȈ booksȈ p¡I¡n¿ȈupȈ¡nȈ thcȈ
bookstotcsȈ wasȈ aȈ mcd¡ octcȈnovcIȈ byȈ Azhaycv,Ȉ Í0I
JIDH ÀDSCDW. lȈ doȈ notȈ tccaIIȈ ǭhcȈ authotsȈ o1Ȉ anȈ
ant¡-Amct¡canȈ bookȈ caIIcdȈ ÍH lH8 OH0ODWS DJ lH8
OK)SCI0µ8IS. Makatcnko'sȈ Ü8 Ü0Hl lD ÍIV8 wasȈanȈ
catIyȈ 5ov¡ctȈ bookȈ o
ǕȈ
juvcn¡IcȈ dcI¡nqucnts.Ȉ
"HavcȈ youȈ hcatd"Ȉ ¯hcyȈ havcȈattcstcdȈ thcȈ cnt¡tcȈ
stañȈ o1Ȉ thcȈ b¡¿Ȉ bookȈ stotcȈ ¡nȈ YcnccsIasȈ 5quatc!"Ȉ
"Yhy""Ȉ
"¯hcyȈputȈthtccȈ booksȈncxtȈtoȈcachȈothctȈ¡ntoȈt hcȈ
shopȈ w¡ndow:Ȉ Y£Ȉ Yŭ1Ȉ 1OȈ ìƀȈ ¯ lŮȈ lěOƄȈ
MosƝoǹȈ ¯ lĘȈ1żȈ5ŻOƔȈOŹȈ1Ĕ£Ȉ 5ƁYsųƍ£ěs."Ȉ
%0VÌ8 Acc8SS0lÌ8S
×ussianȈ hImsȈ o1ȈthcȈ 5taIinȈ ctaȈ wctc,Ȉ i1Ȉan¶thin¿,Ȉ
cvcnȈ wotscȈt hanȈthcȈnovcIs.Ȉ Mobod¶Ȉ wasȈ intctcstcd.Ȉ
AȈ womanȈaskcdȈaȈtc11ctȈ inȈ aȈ bank:Ȉ "1Ȉ havcȈaȈ onc-
toubIcȈ bankȈnotcȈ hctc.Ȉ WhatȈ canȈ ÌɄ doȈ withȈ it"¨Ȉ
"YouȈ canȈ takcȈ itȈ t oȈ thcȈ ÀI8V cincmaȈ toȈ sccȈ aȈ
×ussianȈ hI m. ¨ Ȉ
"AndȈ t hat'sȈ aI1Ȉ ÌɄ nccdȈ t oȈ¿ctȈ in"¨ Ȉ
"YouȈwiI1Ȉa1soȈnccdȈaȈsubmachincȈ ¿un,Ȉ madam."Ȉ
"AȈsubmachincȈ ¿un"Ȉ WhatȈ 1ot"¨Ȉ
"Lad¶,Ȉ¶ou'1IȈ bcȈ scatcdȈstiñȈ inȈthatȈ bi¿ȈcincmaȈaIIȈ
b¶Ȉ ¶outscI1!¨Ȉ
V¡rst 1híng8 IírSt
!nȈ thcȈ othctȈ hand,Ȉ thctcȈ wasȈ anȈ cnotmousȈ in-
tctcstȈ 1otȈ thcȈ WcstctnȈ movicsȈ occasiona11¶Ȉ shownȈ
dutin¿Ȉ thcȈ 5ta1inȈ cta,Ȉ suchȈ asȈ LautcnccȈ !Iivict'sȈ
Í0HÍPl andȈ ÍPHI) Î. Lon¿Ȉ I incsȈ 1otmcdȈ 1otȈ
tickcts,ȈandȈ sca1pctsċȈ 1ccsȈ sk¶tockctcd.Ȉ
1nsidcȈt hcȈcincma,ȈaȈwomanȈsaidȈtoȈhctȈnci¿hbot:Ȉ
"Look,Ȉ thcȈ scatȈ ncxtȈ t oȈ¶ouȈ isȈ cmpt¶!¨Ȉ
"Ycs,Ȉ 1Ȉ know.Ȉ M¶Ȉ husbandȈ hadȈ anȈ accidcntȈ andȈ
couIdȈ notȈ comc. ¨Ȉ
"ThcnȈ wh¶Ȉ didnċtȈ ¶ouȈ ¿ivcȈ thcȈ tickctȈ t oȈ aȈ
tcIativc"¨Ȉ
"Thc¶ȈcouIdnńtȈ comc,Ȉcithct.ȈThc¶Ȉa11Ȉ wcntȈtoȈ hisȈ
1unctaI . ¨ Ȉ
L0uc8l80 Lu8SS
1nȈ 1951,Ȉ Ion¿Ȉ bcfotcȈ an¶bod¶Ȉ sctiousI¶Ȉ anȃ
ticipatcdȈ aȈ 5ovict-ChincscȈ tift , Ȉ t hcȈ CzcchosIovakȈ
ministctȈ ofȈ infotmation, Ȉ tcsponsibIcȈ fotȈ indoc-
ttinatin¿Ȉ CzcchosI ovakia'sȈ 14Ȉ miIIionȈ inhabitants,Ȉ
visitcdȈ China.Ȉ
"HowȈ man¶Ȉ Chincsc,Ȉ doȈ¶ouȈsupposc, ¨ ȈhcȈ askcdȈ
MaoȈ TscȈ Tun¿,Ȉ "atcȈ opposcdȈ toȈ ¶outȈ tc¿imc"¨Ȉ
"Vct¶Ȉ fcw, ¨Ȉsa¶sȈ Mao.Ȉ "MotȈ motcȈthanȈaboutȈ14Ȉ
miIIion,Ȉ lȈ wouIdȈ think.ȈĒndȈ inȈ CzcchosIovakia" ¨Ȉ
"MotȈ motcȈ thanȈ t hat,Ȉcithct.¨Ȉ
%008Sl Ï8SÌl8
OnȈ theȈ othetȈ handŖȈ whenȈ 5ino-5ovictȈ tcIationsȈ
didȈ tcachȈ ¿Iowctin¿Ȉ hostiIit¶Ȉ aȈ dccadcȈ Iatct,Ȉ t hcȈ
foIIowin¿Ȉstot¶Ȉ madcȈ thcȈ toundsȈ :nȈ Ïta¿uc:Ȉ
ltȈ wasȈ 5t.Ȉ Ïctct'sȈ bitthda¶Ȉ andȈ hcȈ dccidcdȈ toȈ
¿tantȈ oncȈ wishȈtoȈcachȈ ofȈt hcȈ htstȈ thtccȈattivaIsȈ inȈ
hcavcn.Ȉ
ThcȈ htstȈ wasȈ aȈ ×ussian;Ȉ hcȈ askcdȈ thatȈ thcȈ
bubonicȈ pIa¿ucȈ consumcȈ 8ʼnǑ miIIionȈ Chincsc.Ȉ
ThcȈ sccondȈ wasȈ aȈ Chinaman;Ȉ hcȈ askcdȈ thatȈ anȈ
catthquakcȈ dcstto¶Ȉ ×ussiaȈ withȈnotȈ oncȈ btickȈ IcftȈ
standin¿ȈonȈanothctȈ ftomȈVIadivostokȈtoȈthcȈloIishȈ
ftont ict.Ȉ
ThcȈ thitdȈ wasȈ aȈ Czcch:Ȉ "YcII ,Ȉ 5t.Ȉ Ïctct,Ȉ ifȈ¶ouȈ
atcȈ ¿oin¿Ȉ t oȈ ¿tantȈ t hcscȈ twoȈ ¿cntIcmcnȈ t hcitȈ tc-
qucsts,Ȉ lȈ wouIdȈ sutcI¶Ȉ apptcciatcȈ aȈ cupȈ ofȈ
coñccȈ. . . Ȉ ¨Ȉ
i

Al lh8 Ln0 0Í MÌS H0p8
CadtcȈ!mcctȈ isȈ aȈposiJionȈJhaJȈ hasȈnoȈcquivaIcnJȈ
inȈ YcsJctnȈ counJtics,Ȉ whctcȈ 5ccuriJ¶Ȉ !mcctȈ isȈ
pcthapsȈ JhcȈ ncatcsJ ,Ȉ Jhou¿hȈ nowhctcȈ ncar.Ȉ HcȈ
waJchcsȈ ovctȈ JhcȈ idcoIo¿icaIȈ tcI iabiIiJ¶Ȉ o1Ȉ JhcȈ
cmpI o¶ccsȈ o1Ȉ hisȈ compan¶Ȉ (cvcr¶Ȉ compan¶,Ȉ noȈ
maJJcrȈ howȈsmaII ,Ȉ hasȈ onc) ,ȈconsJanJI¶Ȉ invcsJi¿aJcsȈ
JhcȈ acJiviJicsȈ - boJhȈ omciaIȈ andȈ privaJcȈ - o1Ȉ aIIȈ
pctsonncI ,Ȉ chccksȈ ouJȈ ncwȈ cmpI o¶ccsȈ bc1otcȈ Jhc¶Ȉ
atcȈ hitcd,Ȉ hasȈ aȈ hIcȈ o1Ȉ tcpotJsȈ onȈ cvcr¶Ȉ cmpI o¶cc,Ȉ
andȈtcporJsȈ "radishcs ¨Ȉ( rcdȈ ouJsidc,Ȉ whiJcȈ insidc)ȈJoȈ
JhcȈsccrcJȈ poIicc.Ȉ!nI¶Ȉ pctsonsȈ o1Ȉ unswctvin¿ȈI o¶aI-
J¶ȈandȈ unhcsiJaJin¿ȈtuJhIcssncssȈ¿cJȈJhcȈj obȈ( otȈwanJȈ
Îȓ,Ʉ ŘOǣɄ lHdl üdllÛI). ćHÛ c8drcȈ oƵccrȈ ĩsȈ JhcȈ mosJȈ
haJcdȈ mcmbcrȈ o1Ȉ JhcȈ IowctȈ cchcI onsȈ o1Ȉ JhcȈ Com-
munisJȈ powctȈ sJtucJutc.Ȉ
ThcȈ chatwomanȈ tushcsȈ inJoȈJhcȈ ditccJot'sȈ omcc.Ȉ
"ComtadcȈditccJor!Ȉ!utȈcadtcȈ omccrȈhasȈhan¿cdȈ
himscI1Ȉ inȈ JhcȈ JoiIcJ!¨Ȉ
"GoodȈ God!Ȉ HavcȈ Jhc¶Ȉ cuJȈ himȈIoosc"¨Ȉ
"Mo,Ȉ noJȈ ¶cJ. ¨Ȉ
"Yh¶Ȉ noJ"¨Ȉ
"ThctcȈ isȈ sJiIIȈ somcȈ I i1cȈ Ic1JȈ inȈ himȈ. . . Ȉ ¨Ȉ
Ü8hÌn0 Ü8lS
AȈ dtunkȈ sta¿¿ctsȈthtou¿hȈthcȈ sttcctsȈ o1Ȉ lta¿uc,Ȉ
ttips,Ȉ andȈ 1a11sȈ 1accȈ downȈ ont oȈ aȈ scwctȈ ¿t:d.Ȉ
×c¿ainin¿ȈconsciousncssȈa1tctȈ thcȈ b1ow,Ȉ hcȈ squ:nǮsȈ
thtou¿hȈthcȈ batsȈo1Ȉ thcȈ ¿tidȈandȈ mutmuts:Ȉ
"lȈ shou1dȈ havcȈ knownȈ bcttctȈ thanȈ toȈttustȈ outȈ
cadtcȈ omcctȈ. . .Ȉ¨Ȉ
L0ml808 A8S0p
AȈctowȈsatȈonȈaȈ btanchȈho1d:n¿ȈaȈ p:cccȈ o1ȈbtcadȈ
inȈ itsȈ bcak.Ȉ
"YhatȈ aȈ 1ovc1¶Ȉ voiccȈ ¶ouȈ havc, ¨ ȈsaidȈ thcȈ 1ox.Ȉ
ThcȈctowȈ putȈ thcȈ btcadȈ undctȈ itsȈ win¿,Ȉ ctowcd,Ȉ
andȈ tctticvcdȈ thcȈ btcad.Ȉ
"ButȈ¶outȈcadtcȈ omcctȈ:sȈ11itt:n¿Ȉw:t hȈǼoutȈw:1c!¨Ȉ
"Yhat"¨Ȉ cxc1aimcdȈ t hcȈ ctowȈ andȈ dtoppcdȈ thcȈ
btcad.Ȉ
ThcȈ motaIȈ o1Ȉ thcȈ stot¶Ȉ ¡sȈt h¡ sũȈ
YhctcȈ cadtcȈ omcctsȈ atcȈ concctncd,Ȉ kccpȈ ¶outȈ
mouthȈ shutȈ otȈ ¶ouȈ w:ž1 1 oscȈ ¶outȈ dai1¶Ȉ btcad.Ȉ
1hHnkSgÌVÌng
"YouȈ don'tȈ sayȈ 1H0HK LOO anyȈ motc, "Ȉ aȈ pto-
pa¿andistȈ cottcctcdȈ oncȈ o1Ȉ hisȈ studcnts.Ȉ "YouȈsayȈ
1H0HK Ol0ÍIH.´
"AndȈ whcnȈ 5taI inȈ dics""ȈaskcdȈt hcȈ studcnt .Ȉ
"¯hcnȈ youȈ canȈ sayȈ 1H0HK LOO!´ saysȈ aȈ voiccȈ
1tomȈthcȈ backȈ o1ȈthcȈ haII .Ȉ
Lagíta¡ Luín8
YhcnȈ 5taIinȈ didȈ dic, ȈthcȈ dcviIsȈ I ockcdȈ thcȈ ¿atcsȈ
o1Ȉ hcII ,Ȉ1otȈ hcȈ wasȈ motcȈthanȈ cvcnȈ thcyȈcouIdȈtakc.Ȉ
ButȈ ncwȈ attivaIsȈ piIcdȈ up,Ȉ andȈ thcy,Ȉ too,Ȉ wctcȈ
I ockcdȈ out.Ȉ 5oȈ oncȈ o1Ȉ thcm,Ȉ anȈ athIctc,Ȉ makcsȈ aȈ
dcaIȈ withȈ5taIin:Ȉ11Ȉ hcȈ¿ctsȈ5taIinȈ in,ȈhcȈwiIIȈopcnȈt hcȈ
¿atcsȈ 1otȈ thcȈ othcts.Ȉ
HcȈ opcnsȈaȈ ba¿ȈandȈtcIIsȈ 5taIinȈ toȈ¿ctȈ in.Ȉ ThcnȈhcȈ
caIIsȈ thcȈ dcviIsȈ bchindȈ thcȈ ¿atc.Ȉ
"OoȈyouȈhavcȈaȈ1cIIowȈbyȈthcȈnamcȈ o1Ȉ KatIȈ MatxȈ
inȈ thctc""Ȉ
"Ycs,Ȉ wcȈdo, "ȈanswctȈ t hcȈ dcviIs.Ȉ
ThcȈ athIctcȈ t htowsȈ thcȈ ba¿Ȉ ovctȈthcȈ waII .Ȉ
"YcII ,Ȉ hctcȈ isȈ thcȈ intctcstȈ onȈ hisȈ L0µIl0Í!´
zzȈ
Ln Ü8l8nc8
¯husȈwasȈ5taIinȈsmu¿¿IcdȈ intoȈhcII.ȈAIcxandctȈ11,Ȉ
aȈ IibctaIȈ ¯satȈ (asȈ ¯satsȈ wcnt)Ȉ wasȈ aItcadyȈthctc.Ȉ
"YcIcomc, Ȉ YosifȈ Vissationovich, ¨Ȉ hcȈ ¿tcctcdȈ
5taIin.Ȉ "AndȈ howȈ isȈ MothctȈ ×ussia"¨Ȉ
"Ooin¿Ȉ wcII ,Ȉ YoutȈ Majcsty,Ȉ doin¿Ȉ wcIIą¨Ȉ
"OoȈthcȈ pcasantsȈ ownȈ t hcȈIandȈnow"¨ Ȉ
"Ycs ,Ȉ thcyȈdo.Ȉ AtȈ IcastȈ inȈ aȈ way.Ȉ¯hcȈ statcȈ ownsȈ
thcȈ Iand,Ȉ butȈ thcyȈ wotkȈ onȈ it ,Ȉ ifȈ youȈ knowȈ whatȈ
1Ȉ mcanȈ. ..Ȉ
"ďes¸Ʉ ¡Ʉ kDOwɄ whĝlɄ ȿOȣɄ mcan.Ȉ ltȈ wasȈthcȈsamcȈ inȈ
myȈdayȈ...Ȉ AndȈ howȈaboutȈ thcȈ ptcss"Ȉ 1sȈ itȈ ftccđ"Ȉ
"AbsoIutcIy.Ȉ ¯hcyȈ mustȈ notȈ wtitcȈ a¿ainstȈ thcȈ
¿ovctnmcnt,Ȉ ofȈ coutsc,Ȉ butȈ itȈ isȈ absoI utcIyȈ ftccȈ
othctwisc.Ȉ¨Ȉ
"Ycs,Ȉ thatȈ isȈ howȈ itȈ wasȈ inȈ myȈday,ȈtooȈ .. .Ȉ AndȈ
howȈaboutȈ outȈ vodka,Ȉ isȈ itȈ stiIIȈ 40ŠşȈ aIcohoI"¨Ȉ
"Mo, ¨ȈsaysȈ 5taIinȈ ptoudIy.Ȉ "5ovictȈ vodkaȈ isȈ 45ĿȈ
aIcohoI . ¨ Ȉ
"YcII ,Ȉ wcII ,Ȉ soȈtimcȈ hasȈ notȈ stoodȈ stiIIȈ. . . Ȉ¨Ȉ
5iIcncc,Ȉ whiIcȈ ¯satȈ AIcxandctȈ muscs.Ȉ
AftctȈ aȈ whiIcȈ hcȈ spcakȈ upȈa¿ain.Ȉ
"Listcn,Ȉ YosifȈVissationovich, ¨ ȈhcȈ says. Ȉ "YasȈ aȈ
siIIyȈ hvcȈ pctȈ ccntȈ inȈ vodkaȈ tcaIIyȈ wotthȈthcȈ whoIcȈ
uphcavaI?¨Ȉ
%ÌghlÌ8l 1h8n lh8 bW0l0
HcII .Ȉ
MapoIcon,Ȉ thcȈ Kaisct,Ȉ andȈ H:tIctȈ tcmin:scc.Ȉ
"l fȈlȈ hadȈhadȈ butȈaȈsin¿IcȈtank,Ȉ1ȈwouIdȈ havcȈwonȈ
atȈ YatctI oo,"Ȉsa¶sȈ MapoIcon.Ȉ
"AȈ sin¿IcȈ jctȈ bombctȈ wouIdȈ hġǸeȈ DuÓe n¡¡ thc
ƢDŽƴctcǖŴƧȈ8\Ȉ Ɠctdun, ļ ȈmuscsȈ thcȈ Ka:sct.Ȉ
"AIIȈ 1Ȉ nccdcdȈ wasȈ ÌI0VO0,¯ sa¶sȈ HitIct.Ȉ "HadȈ
lȈconttoIIcdȈ ÌI0VO0¸ ThcȈ ×uss:ansȈ wouIdȈnotȈknowȈ
toȈthisȈ da¶ȈthatȈ lȈ I ostȈ t hcȈ watȈ . .Ȉ
1h8 bup8l·bl8lÌn
ltomȈYcstctnȈ Czcchos1ovak¡aȈtoȈthcȈ Bct¡n¿Ȉ5caȈ
thctcȈ wasȈnotȈaȈta¡1toadȈstat¡onȈ w¡t houtȈaȈstatucȈ o1Ȉ
5ta1¡n,Ȉ notȈ aȈ c1asstoomȈ w¡thoutȈ h¡sȈ p¡ctutc.Ȉ ButȈ
t hcȈ b¡¿¿cstȈ 5ta1¡nȈ statucȈ wasȈnotȈ¡nȈ Moscow,ȈnotȈ inȈ
5ta1¡n¿tad;Ȉ ¡tȈ wasȈ ¡nȈ lta¿uc.Ȉ ¯hcȈ CzcchȈ Com-
mun¡stȈ latt¶Ȉ out-5ta1¡ncdȈ a11Ȉ 5ta1¡nȈ wotsh¡ppctsȈ
b¶Ȉ bu¡1d¡n¿Ȉ aȈ monumcntȈ somcȈ !20Ȉ 1cctȈ ta11Ȉ
( pcthapsȈ motc,Ȉ 1Ȉ doȈ notȈ knowȈ 1otȈ sutc).Ȉ1tȈ wasȈ
hcwnȈ outȈ o1Ȉ ¿tan¡tcȈ b1ocksȈ ttuckcdȈ ¡nȈ 1tomȈ aȈ
quatt¶Ȉ ¡nȈ MotthȈBohcm¡a,Ȉ andȈ thcȈ bt¡d¿csȈ onȈ thcȈ
wa¶Ȉ hadȈ t oȈbcȈ tc¡n1otccdȈ t oȈw¡thstandȈ thcȈ sttcss .Ȉ
¯hcȈ h¡11Ȉ onȈ wh¡chȈthcȈ LcadctȈ o1Ȉ Mat¡onsȈstoodȈ hadȈ
t oȈ bcȈ ¿¡vcnȈ ¡njcct¡ onsȈ o1Ȉ conctctcȈ 1cstȈ ¡tȈ co11apscȆȈ
UtÓer Iis we:ght. Ít tOOK motcȈ thanȈtwoȈ¶catsȈ t oȈ
hn¡shȈ th¡sȈ 5ta1¡nȈ o1Ȉ a11Ȉ 5ta1¡ns ,Ȉ anƣȈ wDžt hȈ \hcȈ
Czcchs'Ȉ ptovctb¡a1Ȉ badȈ 1 uck,Ȉ ¡\Ȉ wasȈ hn¡shcdȈ ¡nȈ
1954,ȈtwoȈ¶catsȈ bc1otcȈ t hcȈ Ţ0thȈlatt¶Ȉ Con¿tcssȈ¡nȈ
Moscow,Ȉ whctcȈ 5ta1¡n,Ȉ posthumous1¶Ȉ andȈ tcm-
potat¡1¶,Ȉ 1c11Ȉ ¡ntoȈd¡s¿tacc.Ȉ
l¡na11¶Ȉ t hcȈ o¿tcȈ stoodȈ t hctc,Ȉ 1 ook¡n¿ȈdownȈ onȈ
lta¿uc,Ȉ sm¡1¡n¿,Ȉ h¡sȈ 1c1tȈ hand,Ȉ Mapo1con-1¡kc,Ȉ
tuckcdȈ ¡ns¡dcȈ h¡sȈ ¿cncta1¡ss¡mo'sȈ tun¡c.Ȉ
1nȈ CzcchȈ 1o1k1otc,Ȉ thctcȈ ¡sȈ aȈ 1c¿cndȈ assoc¡atcdȈ
w¡thȈ mostȈ bu¡1d¡n¿sȈ ¡nȈ lta¿uc'sȈ !1dȈ C¡t¶.Ȉ ¯hcȈ
5ta1¡nȈ monumcntȈ hadȈ ¡tsȈ 1c¿cnd,Ȉ t oo.Ȉ
ThcȈ CzcchȈ Commun¡stȈ latt¶Ȉ askcdȈ 5ta1¡nȈ t oȈ
comcȈt oȈĚta¿ucȈandȈapptovcȈt hcȈs¡tcȈ ÍOI h¡ǨȈmonu-
mcnt.Ȉ HcȈ stoodȈ onȈ t hcȈ h¡11 ,Ȉ 1 ook¡n¿Ȉ downȈ onȈ
Ěta¿uc,Ȉ sm¡1¡n¿. Ȉ
ţ

"Ycs,Ȉ comtadcs,Ȉ 1Ȉ I¡kcȈ ¡tŗȈ ButȈ ¡t'sȈ ¿o¡n¿Ȉ tǜȈ costȈ
¶ouȈ aȈ ptctt¶Ȉ pcnn¶.ȈA11owȈ mcȈ toȈ contt¡butc.¨Ȉ
AndȈ hcȈ tcachcdȈ fotȈ h¡sȈ chcckbookȈ ¡nȈ thcȈ ¡ns¡dcȈ
pockctȈ ofȈh¡sȈ coat.Ȉ
"HowȈ muchȈ¡sȈ ¡tȈ ¿o¡n¿Ȉt oȈcost"¨Ȉ
Thc¶Ȉ toIdȈ h¡mȈthcȈ pt¡cc,Ȉ andȈ hcȈ wasȈ pctt¡hcd.Ȉ
Æ÷÷÷
Ñ Ñ Ñ Ñ Ñ Ñ Ñ Ñ
VN0O¡Y
ThcȈ ¿¡¿ant¡cȈ 5taį¡nȈstatucȈ wasȈ backcdȈ b¶Ȉ ¿tan¡tcȈ
b1ocksȈ whoscȈs¡dcsȈwctcȈadotncdȈb¶Ȉh¿utcsȈ hcwnȈ¡nȈ
tc1¡cf.Ȉ Thc¶Ȉ tcptcscntcdȈ wotkcts ,Ȉ pcasants.Ȉ
so1d¡cts,Ȉ ¿uct¡IIas, Ȉctc. ,Ȉ andȈ wctcȈ muchȈsma11ct,Ȉ asȈ
bchtsȈ mctcȈ mottaIs.Ȉ Thc¶Ȉ wctcȈ I ook¡n¿Ȉ ¡ntoȈ thc¡tȈ
I otd'sȈ bacǍs¡dc,Ȉ wh¡1c
ŅȈ
thcȈ I otdȈ h¡mscIfȈ 1ookcdȈ
downȈ onȈlta¿Ǵc,ȈwhoscȈc¡t¡zcnsȈwctcȈfotcvctȈstand-
¡n¿Ȉ ¡nȈ I¡ncȈ toȈ bu¶Ȉ foodȈ andȈ othctȈ ¿oodsȈ ¡nȈ shottȈ
suppI¶.Ȉ
"OoȈ ¶ouȈ knowȈ wh¶Ȉ 5taI¡nȈ ¡nȈ thcȈ monumcntȈ ¡sȈ
sm¡I¡n¿ȈsoȈhapp¡I¶"¨Ȉ
"Yh¶""Ȉ
"BccauscȈ hcȈ hasȈthcȈ bcstȈ p1accȈ ¡nȈ thcȈ qucuc. ¨Ȉ
b8HlchÌng Í0l b0lulÌ0nS
MotȈIon¿ȈaftctȈthcȈmonumƨntȈ wasȈcompIctcd,ȈthcȈ
20thȈlattyȈCon¿tcssȈ mctȈ inȈMoscowȈinȈ !95ó;Ȉ 5taIinȈ
bccamcȈ anȈ Lnpctson,Ȉ andȈ t hcȈ CzcchsȈ wctcȈstuckȈ
wit hȈthcȈ bi¿¿cstȈ 5taIinȈ monumcntȈ inȈ t hcȈ wotId.Ȉ
AnȈ avaIanchcȈ ofȈ ¿I ccfuIIyȈ mockin¿Ȉ su¿¿cstionsȈ
ofȈ whatȈ toȈ doȈ withȈ itȈ madcȈ thcȈ roundsȈ aI on¿ȈthcȈ
undcǢ¿toundȈ ¿tapcvdžnc:Ȉ shootȈ outȈ oncȈ ofȈhisȈ cycsȈ
withȈhcavyȈattiIIctyȈandȈ makcȈitȈ aȈmonumcntȈtoȈJanȈ
ƕ
iƯkaȈ ğaȈ !5thȈ ccntutyȈ CzcchȈ ¿cnctaI|;Ȉ twistȈ hisȈ
moustachcȈ untiIȈ hcȈ IooksȈ IikcȈ K. H. Ȉ BotovskýȈ
[aȈ !9thȈccntutyȈ CzcchȈ poct|;Ȉ andȈ othcts.Ȉ
AȈ womanȈ inquitcdȈ atȈ thcȈ MinisttyȈ ofȈ1nfotma-
tionȈ aboutȈ thcȈpIansȈ fotȈt hcȈ monumcnt.Ȉ
"YhatȈ busincssȈ ofȈyoutsȈ isȈ it ,Ȉ comtadc""ȈaskcdȈ
theȈ oƶƟ¡al.Ȉ
ćYcII,Ȉ1Ȉthou¿htȈ youȈmi¿htȈI ctȈ usȈ havcȈoncȈofȈthcȈ
catsȈatȈaȈ¿oodȈ pticc.ȈMyȈhusbandȈandȈ1Ȉ havcȈaIwaysȈ
ycatncdȈ fotȈ outȈ ownȈ swimmin¿Ȉ pooI .Ȉ..Ȉ
VHSSÌng lh8 Üuck
AttacksȈonȈt hcȈIatcȈ5taIinȈ bccamcȈmotcȈftcqucntȈ
inȈ t hcȈ 5ovictȈ ptcss.Ȉ 5taIin'sȈ potttaitsȈ andȈ statucsȈ
bc¿anȈ toȈ disappcat .Ȉ 1nȈ ×ussia,Ȉ thcȈ 5taIinȈ Auto-
mobiIcȈ lIantȈ wasȈ tcnamcdȈ t hcȈ MoscowȈ Automo-
biIcȈ lIant .Ȉ 1nȈ Budapcst ,Ȉt hcȈ Hǵn¿atianȈ×cvoIutionȈ
hadȈ IcftȈ onI yȈ t hcȈ dictatot'sȈ bootsȈ standin¿Ȉ onȈ aȈ
pcdcstaI;Ȉ bIowȈt otchcsȈ hadȈ bccnȈ uscdȈt oȈfcIIȈ t hcȈupȄ
pctȈ pattȈ o1Ȉt heȈ ƃcadctȈ o1Ȉ Ƈat¡ons,Ȉ wh¡ƞhȈ wasȈ t henȈ
smashcdȈ toȈ tubbIc. Ȉ 1nȈ EastȈ BctIin,Ȉ 5taIin'sȈ mostȈ
dcdicatcdȈ vicctoyȈ LIbtichtȈ ¿avcȈ in:Ȉ HisȈ wotkmcnȈ
sawcdȈ oñȈ thcȈ statucȈ o1Ȉ hisȈ bcIovcdȈ mastcrȈ I ikcȈ
thicvcsȈ inȈthcȈ ni¿ht,ȈandȈ LIbricht'sȈshowȈ piccc,Ȉ thcȈ
StaI inaIIcc,Ȉ suddcnIyȈ bccamcȈthcȈ lrank1urtcrȈAIIccȈ
a¿ain.Ȉ !nIyȈ thcȈ CzcchsȈ wcrcȈ stiIIȈ stuckȈ withȈ thcirȈ
¿iantȈ monstcr.Ȉ
ButȈ inȈ thcȈ SovictȈ Empirc,Ȉ thcȈ buckȈ isȈ passcdȈ
downward;Ȉ itȈ cndsȈ withȈ t hcȈ I ittIcȈ manȈ tooȈIowȈtoȈ
passȈ itȈ on.Ȉ
lrcsidcntȈ MovotnýȈ phoncdȈ thcȈ primcȈ ministctŘȈ
"źctȈ tLJoȈ OÍ IDCɄ monumcnt. ĽȈ
ThcȈ primcȈ ministcrȈ phoncsȈ thcȈ ministcrȈo1Ȉin1or-
mationȈ ( propa¿andaȈ ministcr).Ȉ "GctȈ ridȈ o1Ȉ thcȈ
monumcnt. ¨Ȉ
"Mothin¿Ȉ toȈ doȈwithȈ mc,¨ȈhcȈ snapsȈ back.Ȉ "AskȈ
ÎDcȈ DID:ster Ot UcÍCD3C. )ʼnɄ ŮO¡ķǹɄ RIS ǟ8ǣadcsȈonȈthcȈ
pIainȈ bchindȈ thcȈ monumcnt. ¨Ȉ
"Mothin¿Ȉ toȈ doȈ withȈ mc,¨Ȉ saysȈ thcȈ ministcrȈ o1Ȉ
dc1cnsc.Ȉ "AskȈ thcȈ ministcrȈ o1Ȉ thcȈ intcrior.Ȉ HisȈ
ministryȈstandsȈ ri¿htȈ ncxtȈ toȈ it. ¨Ȉ
"GctȈ ridȈ o1ȈthcȈ monumcnt,¨ȈthcȈ ministcrȈ o1ȈthcȈ
intcriorȈ isȈ toIdȈ ovctȈthcȈ tcIcphonc.Ȉ
"YhatȈ monumcnt?¨Ȉ hcȈ asks,Ȉ dccpIyȈ surptiscd.Ȉ
"YȈ ouȈ knowȈdamnȈ wcIIȈ whatȈ monumcnt.Ȉ KindIyȈ
takcȈ aȈ IookȈ outȈ o1ȈyourȈ window!¨Ȉ
"YcII,Ȉ whatȈ doȈ youȈ know,Ȉ thcrcȈ tcaIIyȈ isȈ aȈ tinyȈ
I ittIcȈ monumcntȈ thcrc.Ȉ ButȈ justȈ waitȈ andȈsccȈ whatȈ
myȈ boysȈ o1Ȉ thcȈ scctctȈ poIiccȈ ȱƃ¡¡Ʉ doȈ toȈ thcȈ proȅ
pa¿andaȈ scctctatyȈ o1Ȉlra¿uc'sȈ 7thȈ district!¨Ȉ
P0l AgHÌn
ThcȈ×ussiansȈ wcrcȈ inȈ troubIc,Ȉ too.Ȉ YhatȈ toȈ doȈ
w¡thȈ5ta1¡n'sȈ bodyȈ¡ nȈthcȈ Mausolcum?Ȉ
"GctȈridȈ ofȈit, ¨ ȈsaysȈKhrushchcv.Ȉ"5cndȈ itȈ awayȈasȈ
farȈasȈ possibIc.Ȉ !utȈ ofȈthcȈ country. ¨Ȉ
"ButȈ whatȈ countryȈ wouIdȈ takcȈ thcȈ monstcr"¨Ȉ
asksȈ Ka¿anovich.Ȉ
"lsǤaƩl, ¨ȈsaysȈ M¡koyan.Ȉ"ĜhcȈĖcĴsȈ Ĵ¡1lȈ doȈ¡tȈ fotȈ
moncy.Ȉ YcȈ wiIIȈ payȈthcmȈ wcII. ¨Ȉ
AȈ tcI c¿ramȈ isȈ scntȈ t oȈ1sracI , Ȉoñcrin¿Ȉ oncȈmiI1ionȈ
doIIars.Ȉ
TcIȈ AvivȈ witcsȈ backȈ withinȈ t hcȈ hout.Ȉ
"No 1uaNKs. wB HċɄ HɄ oNB kBsUkkBc1toN
mkB aLkFabY."
LµllHµh
1nȈ !9ó! , Ȉ5ta|¡n'sȈ bodyȈwasȈtcmovcdȈ1tomȈthcȈ×cdȈ
5quatcȈ Mauso|cumȈandȈ but¡cdȈamon¿Ȉsccond-tankȈ
5ov¡ctȈ |cadctsȈ whoȈ tatcdȈ on|yȈ aȈ p|aqucȈ ¡nȈ thcȈ
Ktcm|inȈ wa||řȈ
¯hcȈ ¡nsct¡pt¡onȈ onȈ thcȈ p|aquc,Ȉ saidȈ thcȈ ¿adĦics,Ȉ
wou|dȈ tcadȈ
1O lH8 µOSlHuHOuSÍ) O8DuHK8O OH8
ÍIOH lH8 µOSlHuHOuSÍ) 8XOH8I0l8O.
@nntsncncv
1H8 0HuS IS HOl lH8 HOSl µÍ80S0Hl µ0Il
OJ lH8 DOO)
-Þíkílc 5. Khruschcv,
lcclurín¿ 5ovícl wrílcrs on
howlo wrílc¿oodlílcrclurc
Ï8m0nSllHlÌ0n
YhcnȈ KhtushchcvȈ hadȈ hnishcdȈ hisȈ 1amousȈ
spccchȈ dcnouncin¿Ȉ 5taIinȈ atȈ thcȈ 20thȈ latt¶Ȉ Con-
¿tcssȈinȈ !95ó,ȈhcȈaskcdȈ1otȈ qucstionsȈtoȈbcȈpasscdȈt oȈ
t hcȈ tosttumȈ inȈ wtitin¿.Ȉ
"Comtadcs, ¨ Ȉ hcȈ saidȈ a1tctȈ tcccivin¿Ȉ aȈ batchȈ o1Ȉ
qucstionȈsIips,Ȉ"1ȈhavcȈtcccivcdȈ aȈqucstionȈaskin¿Ȉ7S
DDÍSH8VIKS, HDW CDuÍO )Du Sl0HO D) 0HO W0lCH
Ol0ÍIH´S 0lIDCIlI8S WIlHDul Sµ80KIH¿ Dul 0¿0IHSl
lH8H: YhoȈ wtotcȈ this,Ȉ comtadcs?"Ȉ
ƎĪIcncc.Ȉ
"1Ȉ askȈ ¶ouȈ a¿ain,Ȉ comtadcs:Ȉ YhoȈ askcdȈ thisȈ
qucstion?¨Ȉ
5iIcncc.Ȉ
"Comtadcs,Ȉ atcȈwcȈ BoIshcviksȈ otȈ atcȈwcȈcowatdă
I¶Ȉ oIdȈ womcn?Ȉ ÌɄ sa¶Ȉ 1otȈ t hcȈ thitdȈ andȈ I astȈ t imc:Ȉ
YhocvctȈ askcdȈ thisȈ qucstion,Ȉ IctȈ himȈstandȈ upȈ I ikcȈ
aȈ man!¨Ȉ
5iIcncc.Ȉ
"YouȈ scc,Ȉcomtadcs?Ȉ¯hat'sȈcxactI¶Ȉ wh¶Ȉ wcȈkcptȈ
outȈ mouthsȈ shut,Ȉ tooȈ . . .Ȉ
1h8 LlHÌf0yHnl
ThcȈ fo||owin¿Ȉ stotyȈ mayȈ |ookȈ asȈ ifȈ itȈ hadȈ bccnȈ
tcconsttuctcdȈ withȈhindsi¿ht.Ȉ 1t Ȉhasn't:Ȉ ThisȈ isȈhowȈ
1Ȉ hcatdȈ itȈinȈ Fta¿ucȈ inȈ thcȈ sptin¿Ȉ ofȈ195ó.Ȉ
AsȈKhtuschcvȈ dtoncdȈ onȈ atȈ thcȈ 20thȈ FattyȈCon-
¿tcss,ȈoncȈ ofȈthcȈ dc|c¿atcsȈdozcdȈoñ.Ȉ5oonȈhcȈbc¿anȈ
toȈ ta|kȈ inȈ hisȈ slccp.Ȉ
"Khtuschcv,Ȉ thatȈ spinc|cssȈttaitotȈ. . . ȈBul¿anin,Ȉ aȈ
pƙidȈ a¿cntȈ ofȈthcȈ impctialists.Ȉ. .Ȉ Molotov,Ȉ aȈ fou|Ȉ
cncmyȈ ofȈthcȈ toilin¿Ȉ masscsȈ. . . Ȉ "Ȉ
HisȈnci¿hbotȈ shakcsȈ himȈ awakc.Ȉ
"WakcȈ up,Ȉ comtadc!Ȉ YouȈ wi||Ȉ ¿ctȈ usȈ a||Ȉ intoȈ
ttoublc!"Ȉ
HĞȖhŋUɄ 1D İetsİitationŏȈ thcȈ dclc¿atcȈ wakcsȈ up.Ȉ
"1Ȉ justȈ hadȈ thcȈ mostȈ hottib|cȈ ni¿htmatc,Ȉ com-
tadc!Ȉ 1Ȉ dtcamtȈ 1Ȉ wasȈ aȈ dclc¿atcȈ toȈ thcȈ 21stȈ FattyȈ
Con¿ǠcssȈ ...Ȉ "Ȉ
33Ǒ
%8lHm0lµh0SÌS
lromȈ !948Ȉ untiIȈ 5taIin'sȈ dcathȈ inȈ 1953,Ȉ nobodyȈ
- notȈChurchiIIȈ norȈTrumanȈ norȈanybodyȈcIscȈ -
wasȈ honorcdȈ byȈthcȈ CommunistȈprcssȈwithȈasȈmuchȈ
abuscȈ asȈ thcȈ Yu¿osIavȈ hcrcticȈ Tito.Ȉ ThcȈ invcctivcȈ
ran¿cdȈfromȈ"hcnchmanȈ ofȈthcȈ AmcricanȈ impcriaI-
ists"Ȉ toȈ "thcȈ bI oodyȈ butchcrȈ ofȈ thcȈ Yu¿osIavȈ
pcopIc, "Ȉ butȈ thcrcȈ wasȈ oncȈ cpithctȈ thatȈ wasȈ ncvcrȈ
missin¿ŧȈ 1H8 DÍOOOHOuHO. "Tito,Ȉ thcȈ bI oodhound"Ȉ
DeCane aD ÎDUIVIõIO¡C [RIdSÛ.
ButȈ aftcrȈ 5taIin'sȈ dcath,Ȉ thcȈ ncwȈ 5ovictȈ Icadcră
shipȈ improvcdȈ rcIations,Ȉ andȈ inȈ !955Ȉ KhrushchcvȈ
andȈ BuI¿aninȈ arrivcdȈonȈ aȈ statcȈ visitȈtoȈ BcI¿radc.Ȉ
AsȈ thcȈ 5ovictsȈ stcppcdȈ fromȈ thcȈ pIancȈ andȈ sawȈ
TitoȈ waitin¿Ȉ toȈ wcIcomcȈ hisȈ visitors,Ȉ KhrushchcvȈ
opcncdȈhisȈ armsȈ andȈcxcIaimcd:Ȉ
"MyȈcharmin¿Ȉ I ittIcȈ foxȈ tcrricr!"Ȉ
3ťȈ
MÌS %HSl8tS Y0Ìc8
1nȈ anothcrȈ fcncc-mcndin¿ȈtripȈdurin¿ȈthisȈtimc,Ȉ
KhruschcvȈ andȈ Bul¿aninȈ wcntȈ toȈ En¿|and. Ȉ
ButȈ thcrcȈ wasȈ aȈ problcm.Ȉ FrotocolȈ dcmandcdȈ
thatȈ KhrushchcvȈ kissȈ thcȈ Quccn'sȈ handȈ atȈ thcȈ
rcccptionȈ inȈ Buckin¿hamȈ Falacc.Ȉ YctȈ howȈ couldȈ
thcȈhcadȈofȈthcȈ statcȈ ofȈworkcrsȈandȈpcasantsȈthusȈ
humiįiatcȈ himsclfȈbcforcȈ monarchy"Ȉ
"ThcyȈ havcȈ aȈ lotȈ ofȈ spiritualistsȈ inȈ ìondon,"Ȉ
saysȈ Bul¿anin. Ȉ "ìctȈ thcmȈ conjurcȈ upȈ ìcnin'sȈ
¿host,Ȉ andȈ wcȈ willȈ askȈ himȈ forȈ advicc."Ȉ
Acccptcd.Ȉ
"KissȈ hcrȈ hand,"Ȉ saysȈìcnin'sȈ ¿host.Ȉ
"ButŐȈ VladimirȈ llĵitchőȈ asȈ BolshcviksȈ. . . Ȉ "Ȉ
"!h,Ȉ shutȈ up,Ȉ Khrushchcv!Ȉ YouȈ hadȈnoȈqualmsȈ
aboutȈ kissin¿Ȉ 5talin'sȈ assȈ forȈ 30Ȉ ycars,Ȉ soȈ don'tȈ
fussȈ aboutȈ kissin¿Ȉ thcȈ handȈ ofȈaȈ |ady!"Ȉ
L¡Ìqu8¡¡8
BackȈ inȈ Moscow,Ȉ KhruschcvȈ ¿ctsȈ dis¿ustcdȈ withȈ
somcthin¿Ȉ andȈ spitsȈ onȈ thcȈ carpctȈ inȈ thcȈ Krcm|in.Ȉ
"BchavcȈ yoursc|1,Ȉ MikitaȈ 5cr¿cycvich,"Ȉ ad-
monishcsȈ Ka¿anovich.Ȉ "×cmcmbcrȈ thatȈ thcȈ ¿rcatȈ
ìcninȈ wa|kcdȈ throu¿hȈ thcscȈ ha||s!"Ȉ
"5hutȈup,Ȉ Ka¿anovich,Ȉ whatȈ doȈyouȈ knowȈ aboutȈ
ctiqucttc"Ȉ1ȈcanȈ spitȈa||ȈlȈ |ikcȈ hcrcňȈ lȈ havcȈitȈstrai¿htȈ
1romȈ thcȈ QuccnȈ o1Ȉ En¿|and!"Ȉ
"ThcȈ QuccnȈ o1Ȉ En¿|and""Ȉ
"Ycs!ȈlȈ spatȈonȈhcrȈcarpctȈinȈ Buckin¿hamȈFa|acc,Ȉ
too,Ȉ andȈ shcȈ said,Ȉ ' Mr. ȈKhrushchcv,Ȉ noȈ doubtȈ youȈ
canȈdoȈthisȈinȈthcȈKrcm|in,ȈbutȈyouȈcan' tȈbchavcȈ |ikcȈ
thisȈ hcrcȈ...Ȉ 'Ȉ "Ȉ
AcculH¡8 J0ulnHlÌSm
MorcȈ tripsȈ 1o||owcd.Ȉ lnȈ 1955,Ȉ thcȈ GcncvaȈ
mcctin¿Ȉ withȈ FrcsidcntȈ EiscnhowcrȈ tookȈ p|acc.Ȉ
AȈ 20Ȉ yardȈ raccȈ bctwccnȈ EiscnhowcrȈ andȈ
KhrushcƼcvȈ isȈ arran¿cdȈ a1tcrȈ thcȈ con1crcncc.Ȉ ThcȈ
rcsu|tȈ isȈ rcportcdȈ byȈ ÞuOP ÌI0VO, thcȈ CzcchȈComǿ
munistȈ dai|y,Ȉ asȈ1o||ows:Ȉ
"ComradcȈ KhrushchcvȈ conqucrcdȈ thcȈ sccondȈ
p|acc;Ȉ thcȈ AmcricanȈ FrcsidcntȈ pantcdȈ inȈ lastȈ butȈ
onc.Ȉ
I0cHl LHll
ThatȈ ycatȈ KhtushchcvȈ alsoȈ htstȈvisitcdȈ thcȈ L5. Ȉ
1nȈ thcȈ WhitcȈ HouscȈ hcȈ i sȈ imptcsscdȈ withȈ aȈ
mitaclcȈ ofȈ AmcticanȈ tcchnolo¿y,Ȉ aȈ ditcctȈ
tclcphoncȈlincȈ toȈ hcll.Ȉ
HcȈcallsȈ upȈ 5talinȈ andȈ hasȈ aȈ convctsationȈ withȈ
him.Ȉ AtȈthcȈcndȈ ofȈthcȈcall,Ȉ thcȈopctatotȈ tcllsȈhimȈ
"ThtccȈ minutcs;Ȉ thcȈchat¿cȈ isȈ Ĉ1Ŧ0."Ȉ
BackȈ inȈ Moscow,Ȉ hcȈcxhottsȈhisȈcommunicationȈ
CD_¡DCCI3 DO¡ lO Îu_ DCD1DU ¡Du rDutÍCuD5 uDU lO
installȈ aȈ similatȈ lincȈ inȈ thcȈ Ktcmlin.Ȉ WhcnȈ itȈ isȈ
hnishcd,Ȉ hcȈ callsȈ 5talinȈ andȈ talksȈwithȈ himȈ fotȈ anȈ
hout .Ȉ ThcnȈ thcȈ opctatotȈ announccsȈ "ó1Ȉ minutcs,Ȉ
80Ȉ kopcks."Ȉ
KhtushchcvȈ isȈ futiousȈ andȈ shoutsȈ atȈ hisȈ
cn¿inccts:Ȉ "WhatȈ kindȈ ofȈftaudȈ atcȈ youȈ ttyin¿Ȉ toȈ
putȈ ovctȈ onȈ mc"Ȉ AȈ ¿cnuincȈ callȈ toȈ hcllȈ costsȈ thcȈ
AmcticansȈ Ĉ1T0Ȉ fotȈ 3Ȉ minutcs,Ȉ soȈ don'tȈ tcllȈ mcȈ1Ȉ
wasȈ talkin¿Ȉ toȈ hcllȈ whcnȈ thcȈ billȈ fotȈ motcȈthanȈ anȈ
houtȈ isȈ lcssȈ thanȈ aȈ roublc!"Ȉ
"Ah,Ȉ butȈ thatȈ isȈ diñctcnt,Ȉ comtadcȈ chaitman,"Ȉ
saysȈ thcȈ chicfȈcn¿incct.Ȉ "WhcnȈ thcȈAmcticansȈcallȈ
hcll,Ȉ thcyȈ havcȈtoȈcallȈ lon¿Ȉ distancc. "Ȉ
3TȈ
t ½0n0l0uS blHl
Fra¿uc'sȈ bi¿¿cstȈ industrialȈ p|ant,Ȉ producin¿Ȉ
railroadȈ cn¿incsȈ andȈ othcrȈ hcavyȈ machincry,Ȉ isȈ
callcdȈ CKOȈ 5talin¿rad.Ȉ ìikcȈ allȈ CzcchȈ industrialȈ
p|ants,Ȉ itsȈ mainȈ bui|din¿Ȉ isȈ toppcdȈ byȈ aȈ rcd,Ȉ hvc-
pointcdȈ star.Ȉ ìikcȈ a|lȈ CzcchȈ industrialȈ p|ants,Ȉ itȈ isȈ
¿ricvous|yȈ mismana¿cd.Ȉ
WhcnȈ KhrushchcvȈ chan¿cdȈ thcȈ namcȈ ofȈ 5taȀ
lƿn¿radȈ toȈ Vol¿a¿rad,Ȉ thcȈ dircctorȈ ofȈ CKOȈ 5ta-
lin¿radȈcallcdȈ aȈ mcctin¿Ȉ ofȈ hisȈ advisoryȈ board.Ȉ
"WhatȈnow""Ȉ
"EasyŨȈ ×cnamcȈ itȈ CKOȈ Bcthlchcm."Ȉ
"WhyȈ Bcthlchcm""Ȉ
"AȈ starȈ abovcȈ andȈ aȈ styȈ undcrncathȈ. . .Ȉ"Ȉ
1hHnkSgÌVÌng
ThcȈ samcȈ plantȈ wasȈ alsoȈ thcȈ sccncȈ ofȈ aȈ trucȈ
occurcncc. Ȉ
"WcȈthankȈ thcȈFartyȈandȈGovcrnmcntȈ for .Ȉ . . Ȉ "ȈisȈ
aȈ stanoatoȈ phrascȈ onȈ billboards,Ȉ strcamcrs,Ȉ andȈ inȈ
ncwspapcrȈhcadlincs.Ȉ 1fȈpriccsȈarcȈ raiscd,Ȉ itȈ isȈcallcdȈ
anȈ "adjustmcnt,"Ȉ butȈitȈisȈ bcttcrȈnotȈ mcntioncd;Ȉ if,Ȉ
occasionaIIy,ȈthcȈ priccȈ ofȈsomcȈ productsȈisȈI owcrcd,Ȉ
upȈ ¿oȈ thcȈ biIIboardsȈ "WcȈ thankȈ thcȈ FartyȈ andȈ
GovcrnmcntȈ forȈ thcȈ priccȈ rcductions. "Ȉ
1nȈ !954Ȉ (1Ȉ bcIicvc),Ȉ aȈ partiaIȈ soIarȈccIipscȈ passcdȈ
throu¿hȈ CcntraIȈ Europc;Ȉ IikcȈ aIIȈ nonŋpoIiticaIȈ
cvcnts,Ȉ itȈ causcdȈ muchȈintcrcstȈandȈ wasȈ muchȈ writ-
tcnȈ about.Ȉ
!nȈ thcȈ mornin¿Ȉ ofȈthcȈ ccI ipsc,Ȉ thcȈ poIiccȈ wcrcȈ
caIIcdȈ toȈ CKDǑ 5taIin¿rad.Ȉ AȈ sI o¿anȈ paintcdȈ onȈ thcȈ
waIIȈ byȈ unknownȈ pcrpctratorsȈ wasȈ quickIyȈ rc-
movcd.Ȉ 1tȈ said:Ȉ
WB 1HaNK 1HB raR1Y aNb 1HB CovBRNuBN1 roR
1HB soLaR BcLirsBl
LX¡lH-b8nS0ly V8lc8µ¡Ì0n
TwoȈ CzcchȈ "shockȈ workcrs"Ȉ arcȈ rcwardcdȈ byȈ aȈ
tripȈtoȈthcȈ 5ovictȈLnion,Ȉ butȈonIyȈoncȈ rcturns.Ȉ HcȈ isȈ
surroundcdȈ byȈ hisȈ co-workcrs.Ȉ
"What'sȈ thcȈ foodȈIikc""Ȉ
"WonƠcrfuI,Ȉ 1Ȉ couIdn'tȈ bcIicvcȈ myȈcycs. "Ȉ
"AndȈworkin¿Ȉ conditions""Ȉ
"WondcrfuI,Ȉ 1Ȉ couI dn'tȈbcIicvcȈ myȈcycs."Ȉ
"AndȈ I ivin¿Ȉ conditions""Ȉ
"WondcrfuI,Ȉ 1Ȉ couIdn'tȈbcIicvcȈ myȈcycs. "Ȉ
"AndȈwhcrcȈ isȈ Joc""Ȉ
"1nȈ 5ibcria.Ȉ HcȈ did bcIicvcȈ hisȈcycs. "Ȉ
Ť9Ȉ
bHlVHlÌ0n
ThisȈoncȈcamcȈ fromȈBudapcst,ȈsomcȈycarsȈbcforcȈ
thcȈ rcvolution. Ȉ
"×ákosiŒȈ GcrǗȈandȈlarkásȈ [prc-195óȈCommunistȈ
lcadcrs|Ȉ ¿oȈ forȈ aȈ plcasurcȈ ridcȈ inȈ aȈ rowboatȈ onȈ
LakcȈ Balaton.Ȉ 5uddcnlyȈ aȈ stron¿Ȉ windȈsprin¿sȈ up,Ȉ
andȈthcȈ boatȈcapsizcs.ȈMoncȈ ofȈthcmȈcanȈ swim,Ȉ andȈ
allȈ thrccȈ scrcamȈ forȈ hclp.Ȉ GucssȈ whoȈ isȈ savcd!"Ȉ
"Who!"Ȉ
"ThcȈ Hun¿arianȈ pcoplc. "Ȉ
3Bt Rngl0·Ïl8nch·ZÌ0nÌSl L0nSµÌlHcy
Budapcst,Ȉ !ctobcrȈ !95ó:Ȉ ×cvolutionȈ a¿ainstȈthcȈ
CommunistȈ opprcssors.Ȉ
AȈ manȈ sitsȈ inȈ anȈ hotclȈ room,Ȉ rcadin¿Ȉ Rudc
Pr0vo, thcȈ CzcchȈ CommunistȈ daily.Ȉ !utsidc,Ȉ
machinc¿unsȈ chattcr,Ȉ riĦcȈ hrcȈ cracklcs,Ȉ artillcryȈ
shcllsȈcāplodc,Ȉ bombsȈ whinc.ȈButȈ unpcrturbcd,Ȉ hcȈ
rcadsȈ onȈ aboutȈ thcȈ An¿loŌlrcnchȈ landin¿Ȉ onȈ thcȈ
5uczȈ Canal.Ȉ
5uddcnlyȈ aȈ shcllȈcāplodcsȈ soȈcloscȈ thatȈ thcȈ blastȈ
throwsȈ himȈ outȈ ofȈhisȈchair.Ȉ
"ThcscȈ damncdȈimpcrialists!"ȈhcȈcāclaims.Ȉ "YouȈ
canȈ hcarȈ thcmȈallȈ thcȈ wayȈ fromȈ 5uczȈ...Ȉ "Ȉ
1h8 bnHg
AftcrȈ thcȈ uprisin¿,Ȉ Kadár,Ȉ hcadȈ ofȈthcȈ Hun¿arianȈ
puppctȈ ¿ovcrnmcnt,Ȉ wcntȈ toȈ MoscowȈ toȈ con1crȈ
withȈKhrushchcv.Ȉ
"WhatȈ doȈ youȈ nccdȈ toȈ ¿ctȈ thin¿sȈ ¿oin¿Ȉ a¿ain,Ȉ
ComradcȈ Kadár""Ȉ
" !ŞȈtrain|oadsȈo1Ȉ windowȈ pancs. "Ȉ
"YouȈ sha||Ȉ havcȈ thcm. Ȉ WhatȈc|sc""Ȉ
"20Ȉ train|oadsȈ ofȈccmcnt. "Ȉ
"YouȈ sha||Ȉ havcȈ thcm. Ȉ WhatȈc|sc""Ȉ
"50ȈhcavyȈtrucks."Ȉ
"YouȈ sha||Ȉ havcȈ thcmȈ..Ȉ AndȈwiǝcȈ thatȈ¿rinȈ oñȈ
yourȈ facc,Ȉ wi||Ȉ you"Ȉ What'sȈ thcȈ mattcr,Ȉ don'tȈ youȈ
be1íeve me?"
"!fȈ courscȈ 1Ȉ bc|icvcȈ you,Ȉ ComradcȈ Khrush-
chcvȈ. . . Ȉ1t'sȈjustȈ thatȈ1Ȉ amȈ wondcrin¿Ȉ. . . ȈWiǎ|Ȉ thcȈ
CzcchsȈbcȈ ab|cȈ toȈ dc|ivcr""Ȉ
P8W 1yµ8 0Í HH0Hl
HcardȈaȈ fcwȈwccksȈaftcrȈthcȈ Hun¿arianȈ uprisin¿.Ȉ
ThcȈ ×ussianȈ |atcstȈ sccrctȈ wcapon:Ȉ AȈKadarȈwithȈ
rcmotcȈ contro|.Ȉ
Ï0g'S ÏÌÍ8
ThcȈ FolcsȈ hadȈ rcvoltcdȈinȈ 195ó,Ȉ too.Ȉ lorȈ scvcralȈ
ycarsȈ aitcrȈ thcȈ bloodlcssȈ coup,Ȉ FolandȈ wasȈ aȈ
ǝņƛėȎƀȧeƜȻɄ ŖǞeeɄ cǂuƱȏǟȼ.Ʉ IȐǷɄ ƥƜonoǓĶ,Ȉ howģvģı,Ȉ w8sȈ
allȈbutȈ ruincd.Ȉ !nȈ thcȈ othcrȈ hand, Ȉ CzcchoslovakiaȈ
wasȈbcttcrȈoñȈthanȈ anyȈ othcrȈ CommunistȈcountry.Ȉ
ButȈ politically,Ȉ itȈ continucdȈ toȈ bcȈ aȈ bastionȈ ofȈ
5talinismȈ sccondȈ onlyȈ toȈ EastȈ GcrmanyȈ undcrȈ itsȈ
GaulcitcrȈ LlbrichtȈ (nobodyȈ countcdȈ AlbaniaȈ forȈ
anythin¿,Ȉ anywaĶ) .Ȉ
TwoȈ do¿sȈarcȈ crossin¿Ȉ thcȈ Czcchoslovak-FolishȈ
bordcrȈinȈ oppositcȈ ditcctions.Ȉ
"Hi, "Ȉ saysȈ thcȈ CzcchȈ do¿Ȉ crossin¿Ȉ intoȈ Foland. Ȉ
"WhcrcȈ arcȈ youȈ¿oin¿""Ȉ
"ToȈ catȈ aȈ littlcȈ a¿ain,"ȈsaysȈthcȈ FolishȈdo¿Ȉ cross-
ǀn¿Ȉ intoȈ CzcchosǏovakia.Ȉ "AndȈ you""Ȉ
"ToȈ barkȈ aȈ littlcȈ a¿ain."Ȉ
V08¡ Hn0 V8HSHn¡
Khrushchcv'sȈ I ibcra|ismȈ towardȈ thcȈ arts,Ȉ cs-
pcciaIIyȈI itcraturc,Ȉ wasȈ shortIivcd.Ȉ 1tȈ hadȈ produccdȈ
ƭ ruĨIJȈ ǐĨnjcȈ ƉastctnakŀsȈLoclor Zhtvago, Ŷhrcnbur¿'sȈ
7hc 7haw, andȈ5o|zhcnitsyn'sȈ7 La) in lhe Lj|e o/
!van Lcnisovich. 5oonȈ Khrushchcv,Ȉ whoȈ hadȈ
manifcstȈ dimcuIticsȈ rcadin¿Ȉ thcȈ tcxtsȈ ofȈ hisȈ ownȈ
spccchcs, Ȉ bc¿anȈ toȈ handȈoutȈ adviccȈ onȈ howȈ toȈ writcȈ
¿oodȈI itcraturc,Ȉ andȈ dcIivcrcdȈscvcraIȈ hcrccȈ attacksȈ
onȈ unorthǘdoxȈ worksȈ ofȈ5ovictȈwritcrs.Ȉ
"HcȈ rcaIIyȈchcwcdȈ youȈ out,"ȈsaysȈ aȈ×ussianȈ pcaȁ
santȈ¿|ccfuI|yȈtoȈaȈnovc|istȈaftcrȈrcadin¿Ȉ oncȈ ǙfȈthcscȈ
spccchcsȈ inȈ Pravda.
"HcȈ isȈnotȈ vcryȈ kindȈ aboutȈ a¿ricuI turc, Ȉcithcr."Ȉ
"ThatŁsȈ diƳcrcntŝ'Ȉ saysȈ thcȈ pcasant.Ȉ "WhcnȈ
KhrushchcvȈ taI ksȈ aboutȈIitcraturc,Ȉ hcȈ knowsȈ whatȈ
hcȈ isȈ ta|kin¿Ȉ about."Ȉ
½hHl ½8 P880 %0Sl
ManyȈprc-warȈCommunistȈparticsȈhadȈaȈ¿rcctin¿Ȉ
suchȈ asȈ thcȈ GcrmanȈ lOIW0IlSÍ ["lorward"| .Ȉ WhcnȈ
thcyȈ camcȈ toȈ powcr,Ȉ thcȈ ¿rcctin¿Ȉ wasȈ introduccdȈ
forȈformaIȈoccasionsȈandȈomciaIȈ convcrsations, ȈbutȈ
itȈ isȈ rarcIyȈ uscdȈ inȈ privatcȈ andȈ hardIyȈ cvcrȈ inȈ thcȈ
country.Ȉ
1nȈ Hun¿arian,Ȉ thcȈ ¿rcctin¿Ȉ isȈ O/0D0OS0¿!
ğ "lrccdom"Ġ;Ȉ andȈKhrushchcvȈ wasȈ fondȈ ofȈ usin¿Ȉ aȈ
fcwȈ wordsȈ inȈ thcȈ I an¿ua¿cȈ ofȈ thcȈ countryȈ hcȈ wasȈ
visitin¿.Ȉ
!nȈ aȈvisitȈtoȈHun¿ary,Ȉ hcȈ sccsȈaȈpcasantȈworkin¿Ȉ
inȈ thcȈ hcI ds.Ȉ
"OZ0D0OS0µ |Îreedomj!" he ca!!s OUt tO h:D.
"Ycs,Ȉ yourȈ honor,"Ȉ answcrsȈ thcȈ pcasant.Ȉ "ThatȈ
- andȈ ifȈitȈwouIdȈ rainȈ aȈI itt|cȈ morcȈ. . . Ȉ
ãlP!fJ8J0IJ0
Mcwtsn
Moxcs
100 ÜH0
CommunistȈantiscmitismȈisȈIcssȈovcrtȈthanȈthatȈofȈ
thcȈ Mazis.Ȉ Frcachin¿Ȉ antiscmitismȈ wiIIȈ IandȈoncȈ inȈ
jaiI;Ȉ practicin¿Ȉ itȈ wiIIȈ ¿ctȈ oncȈ aȈ promotion.Ȉ ThcrcȈ
arcȈ ccrtainȈ jobsȈ thatȈ aȈ JcwȈ canȈ ncvcrȈ¿ct;Ȉ butȈ hcȈ isȈ
ncvcrȈ toIdȈ thcȈ rcaIȈ rcasonȈ whyȈ hcȈ isȈ rcNjcctcd.ȈČȈ
AȈ JcwȈ appIicdȈ forȈ thcȈ jobȈ ofȈaȈ maiIman.Ȉ
"CanȈ youȈ rcadȈ En¿I ish,Ȉ lrcnch,Ȉ Gcrman,Ȉ andȈ
×ussian!"Ȉ askcdȈthcȈ pcrsonncIȈ mana¿cǡȈofȈthcȈ postȈ
officc.Ȉ
"Ycs,Ȉ1Ȉ can. "Ȉ
"CanȈ youȈ runȈ !0Ȉ mctrcsȈ inȈ undcrȈ !2Ȉ scconds!"Ȉ
"Ycs,Ȉ1Ȉ can. "Ȉ
"CanȈ ĵouȈǞIaǺaȈ ItDD_et7¯
"Ycs,Ȉ1Ȉ can. "Ȉ
"CanȈ youȈ ridcȈ aȈ bicycIc!"Ȉ
"Ycs,Ȉ1Ȉ can. "Ȉ
"ThcnȈ wcȈ cannotȈ uscȈ you.Ȉ WcȈ nccdȈ aȈ maiImanȈ
whoȈ cannotȈ ridcȈ aȈ bicycIc. "Ȉ
¯ lOsìtìOns nOrma|Iy cIOscd tO Jcws (c. ¿., ¿cncra|, am-
bassadOr, mìnìstcr) can bc Occupìcd by "laradc Jcws" whOsc
sOIc|ObistObc paradcdtO prOvc thatthc|ObcdnbcOccupìcd
by a Jcw. Jhcrc arc, OIcOursc, OnIy Onc Or twO laradc Jcws
pcr |Ob catc¿Ory.
100 HSky
AȈ manȈ oñcrsȈ hisȈ actȈ toȈ thcȈ dircctorȈ ofȈ thcȈ
MationaliǽcdȈ CircuscsȈ andȈ VarictyȈ5hows.Ȉ
"1Ȉ havcȈ aȈ mouscȈ orchcstra."Ȉ
"AȈ what""Ȉ
"AnȈ orchcstraȈ ofȈ micc. "ȈAndȈ hcȈ unwrapsȈ aȈ cascȈ
rcvca|in¿Ȉ aȈ miniaturcȈ orchcstra.Ȉ 5trin¿s,Ȉ wood-
winds,Ȉ brass,Ȉ pcrcussion.Ȉ ConductorȈ andȈ musi-
cians,Ȉ a|lȈ micc.Ȉ
"1ncrcdiblcȈ. . . Ȉ
"ThcyȈ wi||Ȉ p|ayȈ anythin¿Ȉ youȈ say."Ȉ
"LctȈthcmȈ p|ayȈ Bccthovcn'sȈ lifth.ĺȈ
"ThcȈ manȈ snapsȈhisȈhn¿crsȈandȈthcȈ/orlisstmo ofȈ
thcȈ opcnin¿Ȉ barsȈ rcsounds. Ȉ ThcȈ miccȈ arcȈ playin¿Ȉ
ůccthovcnłsȈ ŸiilhȈ 5ympLǚny. Ȉ
"1ncrcdib|c!Ȉ Mindbo¿¿lin¿!Ȉ lantasticȈ. . . Ȉ ButȈ 1Ȉ
can'tȈhircȈ you. "Ȉ
"WhyȈnot""Ȉ
"YȈ ouȈ sccȈ thcȈ |cadcrȈ ofȈ thcȈ sccondȈ Ƿio|insȈ ovcrȈ
thcrc""Ȉ
"Wcll""Ȉ
"HcȈ looksȈ muchȈ tooȈ JcwishȈ. . . Ȉ "Ȉ
M0m8 Hn0 AWHy
ThcȈ CadrcȈ!mccrȈņsccȈ nj.Ʉ 20ŇȈsJrikcsȈupȈ aȈconvcr-
sationȈ wiJhȈ Goldbcr¿.Ȉ
"Wcll,Ȉ ComradcȈ Goldbcr¿,ȈiJȈ sccmsȈyouȈrcccivcdȈ
aȈ lcJJcrȈycsJcrday""Ȉ
"1Ȉ did."Ȉ
"WiJhȈaȈ forci¿nȈ sJamp""Ȉ
"Ycs."Ȉ
"lromȈ1sracl""Ȉ
"Ycs. "Ȉ
"lromȈ yourȈbroJhcr""Ȉ
"Ycs. "Ȉ
"BuJȈ inȈ yourȈcadrcȈ qucsJ ionnaircȈ youȈwroJcȈ inȈ JhcȈ
'×claJivcsȈ Abroad'Ȉ columnȈ ' Monc.ĉȈ OoȈ youȈ knowȈ
JhcȈ pcnalJyȈ forȈ ¿ivin¿Ȉ falscȈ informaJionȈ inȈ yourȈ
īĚOǠeɄ Quc8tÎODDuÎtc1¯
"1Ȉ didȈnoJȈ ¿ivcȈ falscȈ informaJion.ĻȈ
"HowȈ comc""Ȉ
"1J'sȈ mcȈ whoȈ isȈ abroad.Ȉ MyȈ broJhcrȈ isȈ homc!"Ȉ
Ïl'S All lh8 J8WS' ÏHull
ThcrcȈ isȈ anȈ acutcȈ housin¿Ȉ shorta¿cȈ ( apartmcntȈ
shorta¿c,Ȉ actua||yȈ - thcrcȈ arcȈ fcwȈ houscs)Ȉ
throu¿houtȈ thcȈ EastcrnȈ b|oc.Ȉ !ncȈ ofȈ thcȈ stop-¿apȈ
mcasurcsȈ takcnȈ inȈ Czcchos|ovakiaȈwasȈthcȈ appointȂ
mcntȈ ofȈ ApartmcntȈ lnspcctionȈ Committccs. Ȉ ThcyȈ
wcrcȈ cmpowcrcdȈ toȈcntcrȈ andȈ chcckȈ |ivin¿Ȉ quartcrsȈ
inȈ thcȈ hopcȈ ofȈ discovcrin¿Ȉ "cxccssivc"Ȉ |ivin¿Ȉ spaccȈ
- morcȈ thanȈ 240Ȉ squarcȈ fcctȈpcrȈ pcrson.Ȉ
TwoȈ suchȈ omcia|sȈ cntcrȈanȈ apartmcnt. Ȉ
"HowȈ manyȈ rooms""Ȉ
"livc. "Ȉ
"HowȈ manyȈ occupants""Ȉ
"Thrcc."Ȉ
"What"Ȉ YouȈ sayȈ thatȈ withoutȈ b|ushin¿"Ȉ lnȈ thisȈ
shorta¿cȈ ofȈ|ivin¿Ȉ spacc"Ȉ YourȈnamc, Ȉ p|casc!"Ȉ
"J. Ȉ Hcndrych. "Ȉ
Ćƈccupatǁonĸ"Ȉ
"5ccondȈ 5ccrctaryȈ ofȈthcȈ Ccntra|Ȉ CommittccȈ ofȈ
thcȈ CommunistȈ FartyȈ ofȈCzcchos|ovakia."Ȉ
ThcȈ omcia|sȈ ¿rowȈ faint. Ȉ "ComradcȈ Hcndrych,Ȉ
wcȈ arcȈ mostȈ awfu||yȈ sorry. . . Ȉ aȈ tcrrib|cȈ crrorȈ. . Ȉ
p|cascȈ for¿ivcȈ us.Ȉ.ȈĎȈ aȈ thousandȈ apo|o¿:csȈ. . . Ȉ "ȈandȈ
thcyȈ disappcarȈ asȈ fastȈ asȈ thcyȈ can.Ȉ
AnothcrȈapartmcnt. Ȉ
"HowȈ manyȈ rooms""Ȉ
"Thrcc. "Ȉ
"HowȈ manyȈ occupants""Ȉ
"5atahȈ andȈ mysc|f.Ȉ Two."Ȉ
"What"Ȉ AndȈ youȈ sayȈ thisȈ withoutȈ blushin¿"Ȉ
YourȈnamc!"Ȉ
"1saacȈ×oscnbcr¿. "Ȉ
"!ccupation!Ȉ"Ȉ
"5tatcō×csponsiblc!"Ȉ
A¿ainȈ thcȈ omcialsȈ ¿rowȈ faint. Ȉ "AȈ thousandȈ
apolo¿ics,Ȉ ComradcȈ ×oscnbcr¿Ȉ. . . Ȉ "Ȉ andȈa¿ainȈ thcyȈ
disappcarȈ asȈ quicklyȈ asȈ thcyȈ can.Ȉ
"GrcatȈ j ob,Ȉ 1saac,"Ȉ saysȈ 5arah,Ȉ whoȈ hadȈ bccnȈ
listcnin¿Ȉ withȈ an¿uish.Ȉ "ButȈ whatȈ docsȈ 5lale·
Responsib/e mcan""Ȉ
"Wcll,Ȉ ifȈanythin¿Ȉ ¿ocsȈwron¿Ȉ inȈthisȈstatc,Ȉ whoȈ
doȈyouȈ thinkȈ isȈ rcsponsib|c""Ȉ
Ïnc0mµ8l8nc8
ThcȈ ChicfȈ×abbiȈ ofȈ MoscowȈ hasȈ dicd. Ȉ HisȈ suc-
ccssorȈisȈtoȈbcȈ approvcdȈbyȈKhrushchcvȈ pcrsonally.Ȉ
HcȈ rcadsȈ thcȈ listȈ ofȈcandidatcsȈ brou¿htȈ toȈ him.Ȉ
"Abramov,Ȉ lcinbcr¿,Ȉ1zakovich,ȈƂcvcntal,Ȉ Grin-
baumȈ. . œȈ HavcȈ youȈallȈ¿oncȈ starkȈ ravin¿Ȉ mad"Ȉ ThisȈ
listȈ containsȈnothin¿Ȉ butȈ Jcwsą"Ȉ
W W
VlìVÌl8g80
AȈ butchct'sȈ shopȈ isȈtumotcdȈ toȈ havcȈ tcccivcdȈ aȈ
shipmcntȈ ofȈ mcat.Ȉ AȈ I on¿Ȉ qucucȈ fotmsȈ immc-
diatcIy.Ȉ
ThcyȈ waitȈ manyȈ houts;Ȉ thcnȈ thcȈ FattyȈOisttictȈ
5cctctatyȈ attivcsȈ andȈ asks:Ȉ "AnyȈ JcwsȈ inȈ thisȈ
qucuc""Ȉ
AȈ fcwȈ handsȈ showȈ up.Ȉ
"WcII,Ȉ ¿oȈ homc.Ȉ ThctcȈ isȈnotȈcnou¿hȈmcatȈtoȈ¿oȈ
tound.'Ȉ
ThcyȈ waitȈ anothctȈ thtccȈ houts.Ȉ ƏhcnȈ thcȈ 5cctc-
tatyȈisȈback.Ȉ
"AnybodyȈhctcȈ whoȈisȈnotȈaȈ pattyȈ mcmbct""Ȉ
MostȈ pcopIcȈ inȈ thcȈ qucucȈ taiscȈ thcitȈ hands.Ȉ
"WcII,Ȉ ¿oȈ homc.Ȉ ThctcȈ isȈ notȈ cnou¿hȈ toȈ ¿oȈ
tound. 'Ȉ
ThcȈ FattyȈmcmbctsȈ waitȈfotȈ anothctȈ twoȈhouts.Ȉ
ThcnȈ thcȈ 5cctctatyȈtcappcats. Ȉ
"Comtadcs,Ȉ nowȈ thatȈ wcȈ atcȈ amon¿Ȉ outscIvcs,Ȉ
lȈ wiIIȈ tcIIȈ youȈ ftankIy:Ȉ Thctc'sȈ noȈ mcatȈ atȈ aII."Ȉ
OncȈ ofȈ thcȈ pcopIcȈ inȈ thcȈ qucucȈ spitsȈ outȈ inȈ
dis¿ust:Ȉ "OnccȈ a¿ainȈ thcscȈ dittyȈ JcwsȈ ¿otȈ thcȈ bcstȈ
dcaI .Ȉ . . Ȉ "Ȉ
1h8 %ÌlkmHn
lcinbcr¿Ȉ applicsȈ forȈ aȈ passporJȈ JoȈ cmi¿raJcȈ JoȈ
lsracl. Ȉ HcȈ ¿cJsȈ aȈ summonsȈ JoȈ JhcȈ MinisJryȈ o1Ȉ
lnJcrior.Ȉ
"5o,Ȉ ComradcȈ lcinbcr¿,Ȉ youȈ don'JȈ likcȈ ourȈ
Fcoplc'sȈOcmocraJicȈCzcchos|ovakia,Ȉ ch""Ȉ
"lȈ |ovcȈ iJ,Ȉ ComradcȈ lnspccJor,Ȉ lȈ lovcȈ iJ .Ȉ ThcrcȈ isȈ
onlyȈoncȈJhin¿Ȉ JhaJȈ boJhcrsȈmc.ȈEvcryȈmornin¿Ȉ aJȈ7Ȉ
a. m.,Ȉ JhcȈ mi|kmanȈ lcavcsȈ myȈ mi|k,Ȉ knocksȈ aJȈ myȈ
doorȈandȈ wakcsȈ mc. "Ȉ
"AndȈinȈ lsracl,Ȉ arcn'JȈ youȈ¿oin¿Ȉ J oȈdrinkȈmilk""Ȉ
"Ycs. "Ȉ
"AndȈ arcȈ youȈ ¿oin¿Ȉ J oȈhavcȈ iJȈ brou¿hJȈ JoȈyourȈ
doorȈbǻȈJhcȈ mí1kman?"
"Ycs. "Ȉ
"AndȈ isȈ hcȈ¿oin¿Ȉ JoȈ wakcȈ youȈ byȈ knockin¿Ȉ aJȈ
yourȈdoorȈ aJȈ 7Ȉ a. m.""Ȉ
"Ycs. "Ȉ
"5oȈwhaJ'sȈJhcȈ diñcrcncc""Ȉ
"ThcȈ diñcrcnccȈ isȈ JhaJȈ inȈ lsraclȈ lȈ knowȈ iJ'sȈ J hcȈ
mi|kman!"Ȉ
AnSW8l80
×oscnbcr¿Ȉ aI soȈ wantcdȈ toȈIcavcȈ thcȈ country.Ȉ
"AndȈ whatȈ isȈ )OuI rcason""Ȉ asksȈ thcȈ oĥciaIȈ atȈ
thcȈ FassportȈęĥcc.Ȉ
"1Ȉ amȈ toI dȈaȈ po¿romȈ isȈ bcin¿Ȉ prcparcd. Ȉ A¿ainstȈ
thcȈ JcwsȈ andȈ thcȈ barbcrs."Ȉ
"WhyȈthcȈ barbcrs""Ȉ
"ŷvcrybodyȈ asksȈ thatȈ qucstion.Ȉ That'sȈ whyȈ 1Ȉ
wantȈtoȈIcavc. "Ȉ
½l0ng ÏÌHgn0SÌS
ThcnȈ camcȈ lrcudcnfcId.Ȉ
"1ȈnccdȈaȈpassportȈtoȈ¿oȈtoȈCanada.ȈMyȈuncIcȈ hasȈ
¿oncȈ bI ind,Ȉ hcȈtrustsȈnoȈoncȈbutȈhisȈrcI ativcs,ȈandȈhcȈ
nccdsȈ somcbodyȈ toȈ runȈ hisȈ busincss."Ȉ
"ęhȈ ycah"Ȉ WcII,Ȉ tcIIȈ yourȈ uncIcȈ toȈ scIIȈ hisȈ
busincssȈ andȈ cnjoyȈ IifcȈ hcrcȈ inȈ ourȈ pcopIc'sȈ
dcmocracy. "Ȉ
"Mo,Ȉno,Ȉ ComradcȈ1nspcctor,Ȉ it'sȈhisȈcycs!Ȉ1t'sȈ hisȈ
cycsȈ thatȈhavcȈ ¿oncȈ badȈ - notȈ hisȈ brain!"Ȉ
Ï0lm Hn0 bubSlHnc8
ThcnȈthcrcȈwcrcȈ thcȈ JcwsȈwhoȈdidȈ¿ctȈpcrmissionȈ
toȈ cmi¿ratc.Ȉ WithȈ thcȈ barcstȈ oIȈ bcIon¿in¿s,Ȉ ofȈ
coursc.Ȉ
!ncȈ ofȈ thcmȈ wcntȈ throu¿hȈ CzcchȈ customsȈ onȈ
I Ʀavin¿Ȉ thcȈ country.Ȉ ThcȈ customsȈ omccrsȈ starcȈ inȈ
amazcmcntȈatȈaȈframcdȈphoto¿raphȈinȈ hisȈsuitcasc.Ȉ
"What'sȈ that""Ȉ
"WhatȈ doȈ youȈ mcanȈ ŃWhat'sȈ that"'Ȉ AskȈ ' hho's
that!ĊȈ ComradcȈ Movotný,Ȉ FrcsiơcntȈ oIȈ Czccho-
sIovakia!"Ȉ
!nȈ arrivaIȈ inȈ 1sracI ,Ȉ thcȈ customsȈ omccrsȈ aIsoȈ
starcȈ atȈthcȈ photo¿raph."Ȉ
"Who'sȈ that""Ȉ
"WhatȈ doȈ youȈ mcanȈ 'Who'sȈ thġijū'Ȉ
#ǵƏ 'ɄČŬĖȍ'ǶɄ
lRdÎÍ ƐLcȈ ƮramcȈ ĩsȈ purcȈ ¿oI d!"Ȉ
M0m8, M0m8, bW88l M0m8
HcȈ wasȈnotȈthcȈ onIyȈCzcchȈJcwȈtoȈarrivcȈinȈ1sracIȈ
withȈ ComradcȈ Movotný' sȈ IramcdȈ photo¿raph.Ȉ
A¿ainȈ thcȈ customsȈ omccrsȈ ask:Ȉ
"Who'sȈ that""Ȉ
"ThatȈ isȈ ComradcȈ Movotný,Ȉ FrcsidcntȈ oIȈ thcȈ
CzcchosI ovakȈ ×cpubIicȈ andȈ lirstȈ 5ccrctaryȈ ofȈ thcȈ
CcntraIȈ CommittccȈ ofȈ thcȈ CommunistȈ FartyȈ ofȈ
CzcchosIovakia. Ȉ AndȈ hisȈ picturcȈ shaIIȈ han¿Ȉ inȈ myȈ
roomȈuntiIȈ lȈ dic. "Ȉ
"Mcshu¿¿c""Ȉ
"Mo. Ȉ A¿ainstȈ homcsickncssȈĎ . Ȉ"Ȉ
%uSÌc l0 %y LHlS
KohnȈ cmi¿ratcsȈ toȈlrancc.Ȉ EvcryȈ dayȈhcȈ¿ocsȈtoȈ
thcȈ samcȈ FarisȈ cafĤ,Ȉ andȈ cvcryȈ dayȈ hcȈ asksȈ thcȈ
waitcrȈ toȈ brin¿Ȉ himȈ aȈ cupȈ ofȈ blackȈ coñcc,Ȉ Pravda,
!zvcsli)a, Rudc Prcvo, andȈ Parl) Lµc.
EvcryȈday,Ȉ thcȈ waitcrȈbrin¿sȈthcȈ coñccȈ andȈ says:Ȉ
"HcrcȈ isȈ yourȈ coffccʼnȈ MonsicurȈ Kohn, Ȉ butȈ
1Ȉ rc¿rctȈthcscȈ Ĭ ournalsȈ arcȈ notȈ availablcȈ hcrc. "Ȉ
ThisȈ¿ocsȈonȈ forȈ sixȈ months,Ȉ untilȈthcȈ waitcrȈcanȈ
standȈ itȈ noȈlon¿cr.Ȉ
"ìook,Ȉ MonsicurȈKohn, ȈwhyȈdoȈyouȈaskȈmcȈ forȈ
thcscȈ j ournalsȈ cvcryȈ dayȈ whcnȈ youȈ knowȈ vcryȈ wcllȈ
thatȈ thcyȈarcȈ notȈ availablc""Ȉ
"HŇcĘuǸeɄ Ï V:ÌÌ ICNCI šCȋɄ ȌſǜCĶɄ ofȈ hcarinƹȈit.Ȉ. . Ȉ
55Ȉ
H0ug8 8l P0ll
BcforcȈ hcȈ |citȈ forȈ lsrac|, Ȉ ×oscnbaumȈ arran¿cdȈ
codcsȈwithȈGo|dstcin. ȈB|ackȈinkȈwasȈtoȈbcȈuscdȈforȈ
|cttcrsȈ thatȈ wcrcȈ truc.Ȉ ìcttcrsȈ inȈ rcdȈ inkȈ wcrcȈ toȈbcȈ
fa|sc,Ȉ forȈ makin¿Ȉ aȈ¿oodȈimprcssionȈ onȈ thcȈ ccnsor.Ȉ
5oonȈ aftcrȈ hisȈ arriva|Ȉ inȈ lsrac|, Ȉ ×oscnbaumȈ
rcccivcsȈ hisȈƸrstȈ |cttcrȈ fromȈGo|dstcinȈ inȈ thcȈ L55×.Ȉ
lnȈ b|ackȈ ink, Ȉ soȈ itȈ mustȈ bcȈ truc.Ȉ ButȈ asȈ hcȈ startsȈ
rcadǂnƺŔȈ hís ÎuCe gtOw5 ÎOD_ ȳƉIHɄ UISDÛÍlÛÎ.
"WcȈarcȈraisin¿Ȉ thcȈbanncrȈofȈMarxism-ìcninismȈ
hi¿hcrȈyct,Ȉ andȈ |ivin¿ȈthcȈrichȈ|ifcȈ ofȈcitizcnsȈofȈourȈ
bc|ovcdȈpcop|c'sȈdcmocracy.Ȉ!urȈstandardȈofȈ|ivin¿Ȉ
hasȈ¿oncȈ upȈ bcyondȈ a||Ȉ boundsȈ. . . Ȉ "Ȉ
AndȈ soȈ itȈ ¿ocsȈ onȈ unti|Ȉ thcȈ cndȈ ofȈthcȈ |cttcr. Ȉ
"ThcrcȈ isȈ butȈaȈ sin¿|cȈ shadowȈ onȈ myȈb|iss:Ȉ YouȈ
can'tȈ¿ctȈaȈbott|cȈ ofȈrcdȈinkȈforȈ|ovcȈ orȈforȈmoncy!"Ȉ
blHllSllcS 00n`l ll8
AtǑ thcǑ Î VJJ GcncvaǑ mccting,Ǒ gocsǑ thisǑ story,Ǒ
EiscnhowcrǑ rcproachcdǑ KhrushchcvǑ forǑ thcǑ antƊ-
scmitismǑ ofǑthcǑ SovictǑ govcrnmcnt.Ǒ FaithfuIǑtoǑthcǑ
principlcsǑ ofǑ covcrtǑ antiscmitism,Ǒ KhrushchcvǑ
fumcd.Ǒ
"Antiscmitism!Ǒ RidicuIousl Ǒ Ì J.4Vo ofǑourǑ musi-
ciansǑarcǑ JcwslǑ !nǑmcdicincǑthcǑpcrccntagcǑisǑ4Z. Î Î
ŖndǑZJ. b% inǑ Ìll6l8l0l6l JV. õ"0 ÎƴɄ ǎůȽ3ÎɃ3ÎɄ J1 ·Z"Ʉ
inǑ cnginccringlǑ ButǑyouǑ inǑ Amcrica,"Ǒ hcǑ countcr-
attackcd,Ǒ "whcrcǑ doǑyouǑ standǑ onǑthis!"Ǒ
"WcǑ aIsoǑ havcǑ aǑ IotǑ ofǑ JcwsǑ inǑ thcǑ artsǑ andǑ
scicnccs,"Ǒ saidǑ Eiscnhowcr.Ǒ "ButǑ wcǑ ncvcrǑ gotǑ
roundǑtoǑ hguringǑthcǑpcrccntagcs. "Ǒ
ÏÌHl8clÌcS
DialccticalǑ MatcrialismǑ isǑ thcǑ omcialǑ philosophyǑ
ofǑthcǑ CommunistǑ Party.Ǒ EvcryoncǑhasǑ toǑtakcǑindž
doctrinationǑcourscsǑinǑit,ǑandǑcvcryoncǑisǑcxpcctcdǑ
toǑ studyǑ it.Ǒ !tǑ isǑ aǑ collcctionǑ ofǑtrivialiticsǑ thatǑ hasǑ
noǑ othcrǑ uscǑ thanǑ toǑ ¡ustifyǑ thcǑ inconsistcncicsǑ ofǑ
thcǑcvcr-changingǑparƯyǑlinc.Ǒ
KohnǑ wasǑ studyingǑ dialccticsǑ inǑprcparationǑ forǑ
oncǑ ofǑthcǑpcriodicǑpurgcs.Ǒ ButǑhcǑcouldǑ notǑmakcǑ
hcadǑorǑ tailǑ ofǑit,Ǒ soǑ hcǑwcntǑtoǑ hisǑ Rabbi.Ǒ
"Dialcctics!"ǑsaysǑthcǑRabbi.Ǒ"Easy.Ǒ !'llǑcxplainǑitǑ
toǑ you.Ǒ TwoǑ chimncyswccpsǑ fallǑ downǑ aǑ chimncyǑ
intoǑ thcǑ hrcplacc.Ǒ OncǑ isǑclcan,Ǒ thcǑ othcrǑ isǑ blackǑ
withǑ soot.Ǒ WhichǑoncǑşOŃDzɄ ȉǁɄ ȰadzhɄ ūžǩǴńƚř"Ʉ
"ŤhcǑĆirĔyǑ onc,Ǒ ofǑcoursc.ĠǑ
"Wrong!Ǒ ThcǑ dirtyǑ oncǑ sccsǑ thcǑ clcanǑ oncǑ andǑ
thinksǑ hcǑ isǑclcan,Ǒ too,Ǒ thcǑclcanǑ oncǑsccsǑthcǑothcrǑ
covcrcdǑ withǑ soot,Ǒ soǑ hc gocsǑ toǑ wash.Ǒ Lct'sǑ tryǑ
again.Ǒ TwoǑ chimncyswccpsǑ fallǑ downǑ aǑ chimncy.Ǒ
OncǑ isǑ clcan,Ǒ ĔhcǑ othcrǑ isǑ dirty,Ǒ whichǑ oncǑgocsǑtoǑ
wash!"Ǒ
"Why,Ǒ youǑ |ustǑ saidǑ thcǑclcanǑonc."Ǒ
"WǑrong!Ǒ EachǑ looksǑ atǑ hisǑ ownǑ hands,Ǒ andǑ thcǑ
oncǑ withǑ dirtyǑ handsǑ gocsǑ toǑ washǑ himsclf.Ǒ TryǑ
again.Ǒ TwƣǑ chimncyswccpsǑ fallǑ downǑ aǑ chimncy.Ǒ
WhichǑ oncǑŠOŅSɄ ȊOɄ waƬhǑ hċmSC|ƀ"Ǒ
"AllǑright,Ǒ thcǑ dirtyǑonc,Ǒ thcn! "Ǒ
"Wrong!Ǒ Ncithcr.Ǒ ThcǑ dirtyǑ oncǑ sccsǑ thcǑ clcanǑ
onc,Ǒ andǑ thcǑ clcanǑ oncǑ looƙsǑ atǑ hisǑ hands.Ǒ TryǑ
again.Ǒ TwoǑ chimncyswccpsǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
"Stop,Ǒ Rabbi,Ǒ stop! "ǑcricsǑKohn.Ǒ "You'rcǑ simplyǑ
twistingǑ thingsǑ toǑ makcǑ thcmǑ comcǑ outǑ whichcvcrǑ
wayǑ youǑ want! "Ǒ
"NowǑ youīvcǑ gotǑ thcǑ idca! "Ǒ saysǑ thcǑ Rabbi.Ǒ
"That'sǑwhatǑ dialccticsǑ isǑallǑ about .Ǒ . . Ǒ "Ǒ
AÍ¡8l¡h0ugh¡
NcxtǑdayǑKohnǑisǑ back.Ǒ
"Rabbi,Ǒ1Ȉ toldǑthcǑstoryǑaboutǑthcǑchimncysǑ wccpsǑ
toǑ Goldbcrg,Ǒ andǑ hcǑsaysǑ that'sǑ anǑ oldǑ |okcǑ aboutǑ
thcǑ Talmud. "Ǒ
"HcǑisǑquitcǑwrongǑthcrc,Ǒ fricnd,"ǑsaysǑthcǑRabbi.Ǒ
"ThcǑ TalmudǑ wou|dǑ ask.Ǒ WhatǑ arcǑ twoǑ chimncy-
swccpsǑdoingǑinǑ thcǑ samcǑchimncy!Ǒ AndǑ howǑ comcǑ
onlyǑ oncǑ ofǑthcmǑ isǑ dirty!"Ǒ
Ï00lhHl0y
ThcǑ¡ungIcsǑ ofǑdarkcstǑAfrica.Ǒ
OncǑ tribcǑ hasǑ comcǑ toǑ visitǑ anothcr.Ǒ ThcǑ
mcdicincmcnǑ ofǑ thcǑ twoǑ tribcsǑ danccǑ facingǑ cachǑ
othcr.Ǒ AsǑthcirǑbodicsǑ contortǑtoǑthcǑrhythmǑofǑthcǑ
drums,Ǒ thcǑhorrib|cǑmaskǑofǑoncǑofǑthcmǑshifts,Ǒ soǑ
thatǑpartǑofǑhisǑ faccǑ isǑ rcvca|cd.Ǒ
"GoIdbcrgl "ǑcĜc|aimsǑthcǑothcr,Ǒ andǑtakcsǑoñǑhisǑ
mask.Ǒ
"Roscnbauml "Ǒ cĜc|aimsǑ thcǑ hrst,Ǒ andǑ thcyǑ rushǑ
ÍDtO uuCD OIDC¡´5 Ąđms.Ǒ
"WhatǑhappcncdǑ toǑHirschfcId!"Ǒ
"ThatǑ advcnturcr!"Ǒ GoIdbcrgǑ spitsǑ out.Ǒ "HcǑ
staycdǑ inǑPragucǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ

P

P
@ue @tsstnNs
u1h]0Kd CT]dHd M0B ]0µHdB,
MHOIO B HBK 1IBC0B, ü01IBK HɄ ]BK.
H µ]jIOK TdKOh CT]dHbI HB BHdI0¸
lµB TdK B01IH0 µbIIIII1T ¹lB1I0BBK!
Lcr¿c is m) /clhcr/cnd,
Acn) crc ils /orcsls, /c/ds cnd rivcrs.
! know nol o/ cn) olhcr counlr)
hhcrc mcn brcclhcs so /rcc/).
5ìgnalurc tunc OIKadìO MOscOw
1h8 AlµhH Hn0 Lm8gH 0Í 18chn0l0gy
UntilǑ SputnikǑ !,Ǒ thcǑRussians,ǑorǑrathcrǑthcirǑpro-
pagandists,Ǒ hadǑanǑacutcǑ(andǑunƗustihcd)Ǒ infcrior-
ityǑcomplcxǑaboutǑ RussianǑscicncc.Ǒ SoǑthcyǑwcntǑtoǑ
work.Ǒ Gauss'Ǒ ThcorcmǑ bccamcǑ OstrogradskyĬsǑ
Thcorcm,Ǒ thcǑ PoyntingǑ vcctorǑ bccamcǑ thcǑ LmovǑ
vcctor,ǑthcǑCauchyĹRicmannǑconditionƭǑD008H0lB0
Eulcr-BcrnoulliǑ conditionsǑ (thcǑ lattcrǑ twoǑ SwissǑ
mathcmaticiansǑwcrcǑpasscdǑoñǑasǑRussians,ǑasǑthcyǑ
hadǑ spcntǑ manyǑycarsǑ inǑ RussiaǑ inǑ thcǑ ! 8thǑ ccn-
tury),Ǒ andǑ soǑ itǑ wcntǑ on,Ǒ untilǑ pcoplcǑ mustǑ havcǑ
wondcrcdǑ whcthcrǑ ChcbyshcvǑ andǑ LobachcvskyǑ
wcrcǑ gcnuincǑ orǑ fabricatcd,Ǒ forǑ thcǑ propagandaǑ
hacksǑ ncvcrǑthinkǑ thatǑ far.Ǒ
Omc¿a isǑ aǑ SwissǑ watchǑ company,Ǒ wcllǑ knownǑ
throughoutǑEuropc.Ǒ
"YouǑ knowǑ whoǑinvcntcdǑ thcǑwristwatch!"Ǒ
"Who!"Ǒ
"EugcncǑOmcginl "Ǒ
1h8 Ll8Hl8Sl 0Í ÏnV8nl0lS
ExpIaincdǑ thcǑ guidcǑ inǑ aǑ RussianǑ tcchnicaIǑ
muscum.Ǒ
"OvcrǑ hcrc,Ǒ comradcs,Ǒ youǑ sccǑ aǑ statucǑ ofǑ thcǑ
ƄrŶatǑVasiIǑVasiIycvichǑVasiIovǑwhoǑinvcntcdǑthcǑ¡ctǑ
pIanc,Ǒ andǑ ovcrǑ thcrc,Ǒ youǑ sccǑthcǑ Sl8l06 Dl ȒHňɄ
grcatǑ ĀosifǑ VissarƋonovichǑ StaIinǑ whoǑ invcntcdǑ
VasiIǑ VasiIycvichǑ VasiIovǑ. . . Ǒ
L0mlH08 A0Hm
WhyǑdocsǑAdamǑ quaIifyǑ forǑSovictǑcitizcnship!Ǒ
LikcǑ aǑ SovictǑ citizcn,Ǒ hcǑ hadǑ noǑ cIothcsǑ toǑ putǑ
on,ǑČȈ andǑ IikcǑ aǑ SovictǑ citizcn,Ǒ hcǑ cIaimcdǑ toǑ bcǑ inǑ
paradisc.Ǒ
"JhcOrì¿ìna|says"Hchada barcbOllOm,"whìchìnLzcch,
Hun¿arìan, and pOssìbIy Olhcr Ian¿ua¿cs mcans "Hc was as
pOOr as a church mOusc."
Vl8S88080
ThcǑ GardcnǑ ofǑEdcn.Ǒ
EvcǑ isǑ ncrvous,Ǒ bccauscǑ shcǑ hasǑ thcǑ fcclingǑthatǑ
somcbodyǑ isǑwatchingǑ hcr.Ǒ
"Ridiculous, "ǑsaysǑAdam.Ǒ"YouǑknowǑwcǑarcǑthcǑ
ƃrstǑpcoplcǑonǑ carth."Ǒ
SuddcnlyǑEvcǑcxclaims.Ǒ "ThcrcǑhcǑis,Ǒ !Ǒ sawǑ him!Ǒ
!nǑ thatǑ bushǑovcrǑ thcrc! "Ǒ
AdamǑ gocsǑ toǑ thcǑ bushǑ aDC DeDCs DaCk ȈŪłɄ
braƟchcs.Ǒ SurcǑ cnough,Ǒ bchindǑ thcǑ bushǑ standsǑ aǑ
bcardcdǑ oldǑ manǑinǑaǑ furǑ cap.Ǒ
"WhoǑ arcǑ you!"Ǒ asksǑAdam,Ǒ ñabbcrgastcd.Ǒ "ArcǑ
wcǑ notǑ thcǑ onlyǑ pcoplcǑ onǑ carth!"Ǒ
"Þ)cl," saysǑ thcǑ oldǑ man.Ǒ "!Ǒ amǑ !vanǑ !vanovichǑ
!vanov,Ǒ foundcrǑ ofǑthcǑ humanǑ racc! "Ǒ
10W8lÍ0g À00V8 ÀÎÎ Llh8lS
"ThcrcǑisǑaǑdwarfǑwhoǑIivcsǑonǑthcǑ25thǑñoorǑofǑaǑ
NcwǑ YorkǑ skyscrapcr.Ǒ EvcryǑ dayǑ hcǑ takcsǑ thcǑ
c|cvatorǑtoǑthcǑŋ0thǑñoorǑandǑwaIksǑupǑthcǑstaircascǑ
forǑthcǑrcmainingǑhvcǑ ñoors.Ǒ DoǑyouǑ knowǑwhy!"Ǒ
"BccauscǑhcǑisǑtooǑsmaIIǑtoǑrcachǑabovcǑthcǑ20thǑ
ñoorǑ button."Ǒ
"Right!Ǒ NowǑthcrcǑisǑanothcrǑdwarfǑwhoǑIivcsǑonǑ
tDu 4ÜtD ÜOOt OÎ D ŞoscowǑ skĝscrapcr,Ǒ andǑ hcǑ
aIwaysǑ takcsǑ thcǑ cIcvatorǑ aIIǑthcǑ way.Ǒ ĀouǑ ĎnowǑ
ƺhƾŕ"Ǒ
"Why!"Ǒ
"BccauscǑSovictǑdwarfsǑ arcǑthcǑ taIIcstǑ dwarfsǑ inǑ
thcǑ worId! "Ǒ
6

ÏlHl8lnHl buµµ0ll
OnǑ WarsawǑ PactǑ mancuvcrs,Ǒ aǑ SovictǑ andǑ aǑ
CzcchǑ so|dicrǑ arcǑ scntǑ outǑ onǑ patro|Ǒ intoǑ aǑ forcst.Ǒ
OnǑaǑtouristǑtraiIǑthcyǑfindǑ aǑ purscǑfu||ǑofǑcash.Ǒ
"WcǑwi||ǑsharcǑitǑ|ikcǑbrothcrs,"ǑsaƿsǑthcǑRussƌaƠľǑ
"Oh,Ǒ no,Ǒ wcǑ won't! "Ǒ ob¡cctsǑ thcǑ Czcch.Ǒ "ThisǑ
timc,Ǒ wc'||Ǒ sp|itǑitǑ fifty-fifty. "Ǒ
P0 Ll8µhHnl ÏÌk8 H b0VÌ8l Ll8phHn¡
ThcǑSwissǑannounccdǑaǑcontcstǑforǑthcǑbcstǑworkǑ
onǑc|cphants.Ǒ
ThcǑ BritishǑ submittcdǑ aǑ vo|umcǑ 7he L/ephanl
and lhe Brilish Lmpire.
ThcǑFrcnchǑsubmiưtcdǑaǑbookǑca||cdǑL'c/ephanl el
l'amour.
ThcǑ GcrmansǑ scntǑ inǑ 57Ȉ vo|umcsǑ cntit|cdǑ Line
e/emenlare Lin]uhrun¿ in die Grund/a¿en der
Lehre vom L/e]anlenohr. āAnǑc|cmcntaryǑintroduc-
tionǑ intoǑ thcǑ foundationsǑ ofǑ thcǑ scicnccǑ ofǑ thcǑ
c|cphantĭsǑ car.]Ǒ
ThcǑ RussiansǑ scntǑ aǑ voIumcǑ 7he 5uperioril} o]
the 5oviet E/ephanl.
ThcǑ CDŽcchǑ cntryǑ wasǑ 7he 5oviel L/ephanl: Our
7eacher and !do/.
óóȈ
ÜHlbS
T. D. Ǒ LyscnkoǑwasǑaǑStalinĺsupportcdǑ quackǑwhoǑ
dcnounccdǑ gcncticsǑ asǑ aǑ bourgcoisǑ pscudo-scicncc,Ǒ
disputcdǑ thcǑ cxistcnccǑ ofǑ chromosomcs,Ǒ andǑ
claimcdǑ thatǑ anybodyǑ whoǑ opposcdǑ hisǑ thcoricsǑ
doubtcdǑthcǑ futurcǑofǑCommunism.Ǒ HcǑhadǑ noǑac-
ccptablcǑ cvidcnccǑ forǑ hisǑ thcorics,Ǒ butǑ aIwaysǑ rc-
fcrrcdǑ toǑMichurin,Ǒ aǑhithcrtoǑlittIcǑknownǑ RussianǑ
horticęltęristǑwhoǑhadǑallcgcdlyǑproduccdǑthcǑmostǑ
wondcrfulǑ hybridǑ fruitǑ dcfyingǑ McndcI'sǑ IawsǑ ofǑ
hcrcdity.Ǒ
"YouǑ knowǑ whoǑinvcntcdǑbarbcdǑwirc!"Ǒ
"AǑ Russian,Ǒ ofǑcoursc.Ǒ ButǑwhichǑ onc!"Ǒ
"^ƁĬŭȡǡƂ Ƴ. Ʉ ¡eɄ ĭǢǃsseOɄ ŷūĒƱhwoĒmƮǑ wČthǑ hcdçc-
hogs."Ǒ
Ï8lhHl ÏluÌl
"YǑ ouǑknowǑ howǑ MichurinǑ dicd!"Ǒ
"How!"Ǒ
"HcǑbrokcǑ hisǑ ncckǑwhcnǑ hcǑ fcllǑ oñǑ oncǑ ofǑhisǑ
strawbcrrics. "Ǒ
L8n8llc LngÌn88lÌng
ThcrcǑwasǑalsoǑanothcrǑvcrsionǑofǑhowǑMichurinǑ
dicd.Ǒ
HcǑcrosscdǑ hisǑlcgsǑ andǑcouldǑnoǑIongcrǑurinatc.Ǒ
bHl8llÌl8`S bHl8llÌl8
WithǑSputnikǑ !,ǑthcǑRussiansǑ|ostǑthcirǑinfcriorityǑ
comp|cx.Ǒ ThcǑ nationa|istǑ mcga|omaniaǑ inǑ scicnccǑ
stoppcd.Ǒ ButǑ thcǑcracksǑ didǑ not.Ǒ
SputnikǑ !Ǒ hadǑbccnǑinǑorbitǑ forǑ aǑdayǑorǑ two.Ǒ
Czcchos|ovakia,Ǒ itǑwasǑwhispcrcd,Ǒ wou|dǑ|aunchǑ
itsǑ ownǑ satc||itc.Ǒ !tǑ wou|űǑ not,Ǒ howcvcr,Ǒ circ|cǑ thcǑ
carth.Ǒ
!tǑwou|dǑ circ|cǑ roundǑ thcǑSovictǑ satc||itc.Ǒ
P0 VlHc8 ÏÌk8 M0m8
SputnikǑ !!!Ǒ carricdǑaǑdog,Ǒ Laika,Ǒ intoǑ orbit.Ǒ
"Tc|cgramǑfromǑMoscow.Ǒ LaikaǑhasǑgoncǑcrazy! "Ǒ
"Crazy!"Ǒ
"Ycs.Ǒ WithǑ¡oyǑthatǑshcǑwasǑa||owcdǑtoǑ|cavcǑthcǑ
USSR! "Ǒ
ÏHVHy chHSyÎ
ThcǑcxclamationǑabovcǑmcansǑ"HandǑ ovcrǑyourǑ
watch! "ǑandǑwasǑ thcǑwarǑcryǑ ofǑthcǑSovictǑarmyǑinǑ
ÎV4J. AǑwatchǑwasǑaǑvaluablcǑposscssionǑforǑaǑRus-
sian,Ǒ andǑ inǑ Î V4J, SovictǑ soldicrsǑ robbcdǑ anybodyǑ
ofǑhisǑwatchǑ whoǑ wasǑ unwiscǑcnoughǑ toǑ wcarǑ onc.Ǒ
AtǑthcǑtimc,Ǒ thcǑCzcchsǑdidǑnotǑtakcǑitǑvcryǑscrious-
lyǑ inǑ thcirǑ cnthusiasmǑ forǑ thcǑ RussiansǑ whoǑ hadǑ
libcratcdǑ thcmǑ fromǑ thcǑ Gcrmans.Ǒ ButǑ whcnǑ thcǑ
SovictsǑ turncdǑ outǑ toǑ bcǑ ¡ustǑ anothcrǑ sctǑ ofǑ op-
prcssors,Ǒ thcyǑ rcmcmbcrcdǑ itǑ inǑ thcirǑ¡okcs.Ǒ
ThcǑ AmcricansǑ launchcdǑ aǑ satcllƍtcǑ tƇatǑ wasǑ toǑ
transmitǑ aǑ timcǑ signal.Ǒ ButǑ thcǑ clcctronicsǑ wcntǑ
ȯǚOuŝ,Ʉ ĔuUɄ !OɄ Ƣcc!Ʉ !DcɄ UcuUƘŽƭc,Ʉ !DcȹɄ żƮDZȇullcUɄ uɄ
rcgularǑalarmǑclockǑandǑ putǑinǑaǑparrotǑ whoǑwouldǑ
announccǑthcǑ timcǑcvcryǑminutcǑ onǑ thcǑminutc.Ǒ
EvcrythingǑ wcntǑ hncǑ forǑ halfǑ ofǑ thcǑ hrstǑ orbit,Ǒ
thcnǑ thcǑ parrotǑ fcllǑ silcnt.Ǒ WhcnǑ thcǑ satcllitcǑ wasǑ
ovcrǑ thcǑ UnitcdǑ StatcsǑ again,Ǒ thcǑ AmcricansǑ
radiocd.Ǒ
"WhatǑwcntǑwrong,Ǒ Polly!"Ǒ
"NotǑmyǑ fault!Ǒ NotǑmyǑfault! "ǑanswcrcdǑthcǑpar-
rot.Ǒ "AsǑ soonǑ asǑ wcǑ cntcrcdǑ SovictǑ airǑ spacc,Ǒ thcǑ
RussiansǑ swipcdǑ myǑ alarmǑ clock! "Ǒ
H8llÌ8VHl
AftcrǑthcǑwar,ǑthcǑRussiansǑlcarncdǑtoǑmakcǑthcirǑ
ownǑ watchcs.Ǒ ByǑ Î VJJ orǑ soǑ thcyǑ wcrcǑ cxportingǑ
thcmǑ toǑ Czcchoslovakia,Ǒ andǑ ¡cwcllcrs'Ǒ shopǑ win-
dowsǑ borcǑlargcǑstickcrsǑºSovictǑ Watchcs. "Ǒ
AǑ crowdǑofǑpasscrs-byǑgathcrsǑinǑfrontǑofǑsuchǑaǑ
shopǑ andǑ inspcctsǑ thcǑ watchcsǑ inǑ thcǑ window.Ǒ ByǑ
thcǑ timcǑ anǑ oIdǑ manǑ arrivcs,Ǒ thcǑ vicwǑ isǑ blockcd.Ǒ
ºLctǑ mcǑ takcǑ aǑ look! "ǑcricsǑ thcǑ oldǑ man.Ǒ "IǑƘustǑ
wantǑ toǑ sccǑ ifǑmincǑ isǑamongǑthcm! "Ǒ
L0mµul8l L0mµHSSl0n
AtǑ last,Ǒ thcǑ hrstǑ SovictǑ computcrǑ hadǑ bccnǑ proLJ
duccd.Ǒ ThcǑ cnginccrsǑ didǑ notǑgctǑ it,Ǒ norǑ thcǑphysi-
cists.Ǒ FirstǑ thingsǑ hrst.Ǒ ItǑ wcntǑ toǑ thcǑ InstitutcǑ ofǑ
Marxism-LcninismĿǑ
"ls i1 rOssmLB 1o sUiLb sociaLisu iN Swi1zBk-
LaNb!" askcdǑ oncǑ ofǑ itsǑ thcologists,Ǒ typingǑ atǑ thcǑ
kcyboard.Ǒ
" YBs, i1 is," printcdǑ thcǑ computcr.Ǒ "BU1 i1
woULb sB a ri1Y 1o bBs1koY sUcH a sBaU1HUI
coUN1kY. "
Ll0ly l0 1h88, ÏHlh8llHn0
SkipǑ thisǑoncǑifǑyouǑ havcǑ ncvcrǑhcardǑ thcǑSovictǑ
nationa|ǑanthcmǑ p|aycdǑ byǑ aǑ RussianǑ ůanŲ.Ǒ
AǑdrunkǑwa|ksǑthroughǑaǑPragucǑstrcctǑstrikingǑaǑ
pairǑofǑbigǑcymba|sǑ againstǑcachǑ othcr,Ǒ bash,Ǒ bash,Ǒ
bash,Ǒ bash,Ǒ atǑcvcryǑstcp.Ǒ
AǑ po|iccmanǑ rushcsǑ toǑ thcǑsccnc.Ǒ
"YǑouǑarcǑundcrǑarrcstǑforǑdisturbingǑthcǑpcaccǑofǑ
thcǑ night ! "Ǒ
"ShutǑ up,"ǑsaysǑ thcǑdrunk.Ǒ "AndǑ standǑat Ǒattcn-
tionǑ whcnǑ youǑ hcarǑ thcǑ nationa|Ǒ anthcmǑ ofǑ thcǑ
LSSR! "Ǒ
H8Íul80
AǑSovictǑ guidcǑtakcsǑanǑAmcricanǑvisitorǑthroughǑ
thcǑ MoscowǑ subway.Ǒ
"OnǑthisǑtrack,"ǑshcǑcxp|ains,Ǒ "aǑtrainǑrunsǑcvcryǑ
thrccǑ minutcs,Ǒ andǑ onǑ thatǑ track,Ǒ thcrcǑ isǑ aǑ trainǑ
cvcryǑminutc."Ǒ
"ButǑwc'vcǑbccơǑstandingǑhcrcǑforǑtwcntyǑminutcsǑ
now,"Ǒ saysǑ thcǑAmcrican,Ǒ "andǑthcrcǑhasn'tǑbccnǑaǑ
trainǑ onǑ cithcrǑ track."Ǒ
"Ycs,ǑbutǑyouǑinǑAmcrica,Ǒ youǑbcatǑthcǑncgrocs! "Ǒ
1h8S8 1nluly Ïl8nch
AǑRussianǑisǑscntǑtoǑthcǑSovictǑEmbassyǑinǑParis.Ǒ
SoonǑ aftcrǑ arrival,Ǒ hcǑ phoncsǑ thcǑ FrcnchǑ ForcignǑ
Omcc.Ǒ
"!Ǒ wouldǑ likcǑ toǑgoǑtoǑ Marscillcs. "Ǒ
"So!"Ǒ
"1Ȉ wouldǑ likcǑaǑ pcrmitǑ toǑgoǑthcrc. "Ǒ
"YouǑ don'tǑ nccdǑ aǑpcrmit.Ǒ JustǑgo."Ǒ
"ButǑ IǑ wouldǑ likcǑ toǑgoǑbyǑcar."Ǒ
"ThcnǑgoǑ byǑcar. "Ǒ
"ButǑ howǑ aboutǑ gasolinc!Ǒ !Ǒ havcǑ noǑ rationǑ
coupons."Ǒ
"YouǑdon'tǑnccdǑany.Ǒ AnyǑgasǑstationǑwillǑscllǑitǑ
toǑ you. "Ǒ
¯LUUUɄ LO0,` ƞuttcrsǑ thcǑ RussƎan.Ǒ "WhatǑ
anarchyǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
Vl00Í
BackǑ inǑ Moscow,Ǒ thisǑ RussianǑgivcsǑaǑ lccturcǑonǑ
lifcǑ inǑ thcǑWcst.Ǒ
"ThcǑ povcrty,Ǒ comradcs!Ǒ ThcǑ povcrtyǑ isǑ simplyǑ
unimaginablcǑ forǑ aǑ SovictǑ citizcn.Ǒ ThcǑ shopsǑ inǑ
ParisǑ arcǑ fullǑ ofǑ thcǑ mostǑ ƻonćcrfulǑ goods,Ǒ butǑ
onlyǑvcryǑfcwǑpcoplcǑcanǑaƁordǑtoǑbuyǑthcm.Ǒ ThcrcǑ
isǑ notǑ aǑ singlcǑƨucucǑtoǑ bcǑsccnǑ anǀwhcrcǑ. . . Ǒ
1h8 blHluS b88k8l
AǑwclIǑ drcsscdǑ youngǑmanǑ sitsǑ byǑthcǑroadǑinǑthcǑ
UkranianǑ countrysidc.Ǒ AnǑ oIdǑ pcasantǑ walksǑ by.Ǒ
"Hcllo,Ǒ grandfathcr.Ǒ HowǑarcǑyouǑ doing!"Ǒ
"Can'tǑ complain,Ǒ youngǑ man,Ǒ thankǑ you.Ǒ JustǑ
bccnǑ toǑ townǑ toǑtradcǑ inǑmyǑPob)eda forǑ aǑ biggcrǑ
car,Ǒ andǑ arrangcdǑ forǑ aǑ swimmingǑ poolǑtoǑbcǑbuiltǑ
inǑ ourǑ gardcn.Ǒ NowǑ !Ǒ amǑ onǑ myǑ wayǑ toǑ hcIpǑ myǑ
daughtcrǑ movcǑ hcrǑ grandǑ pianoǑ fromǑ hcrǑ livingǑ
roomǑintoǑ thcǑsaIon."Ǒ
"HeDÌÌ
Y
! ñ
Y wordŀǑ wcǑ don'tǑ livcǑthatǑwcIIǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
"Why,Ǒ whcrcǑ arcǑ youǑ from!"Ǒ
"FromǑ Moscow.Ǒ HcrcǑ onǑ vacation."Ǒ
"ThcnǑgctǑIost.Ǒ !Ǒ thoughtǑyouǑwcrcǑanǑAmcricanǑ
corrcspondcntǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
1h8 L8nll8 Aµµl0Hch
AǑ RussianǑ soldicrǑ complainsǑ toǑ anothcrǑ thatǑ hcǑ
hasǑ noǑ luckǑ withǑthcǑCzcchǑgirls.Ǒ
"What'sǑ yourǑ tcchniquc!"Ǒ ŬsksǑ hisǑ fricnd.Ǒ
"!Ǒ |ustǑ shoutǑ ÍO/HÍS! ā|icǑ downă ,Ǒ butǑ thcyǑ runǑ
awayǑasǑ soonǑ asǑ !Ǒ sayǑit .Ǒ . . Ǒ ¯
"NoǑ wondcr.Ǒ YouǑ willǑ ncvcrǑ makcǑ itǑ withǑ thcmǑ
thatǑ way.Ǒ YouǑ makcǑ convcrsationǑ Ċrst.Ǒ AboutǑ artǑ
andǑ |itcraturc.Ǒ OnlyǑ thcnǑ doǑ youǑ comcǑ roundǑ toǑ
scxua|Ǒmattcrs. "Ǒ
OnǑhisǑ ncxtǑ datc,Ǒ thcǑRussianǑ asks.Ǒ
"DoǑ youǑ rcadǑPushkin!"Ǒ
¨O008ä!OH8|Ìy. `
"Wcll,Ǒ thcn,Ǒ ÍO/HIS!¯
An0 Qul8l Ïl0WS lh8 Ï0n
AǑCzcchǑpcasantǑvisitsǑPragucǑforǑthcǑĊrstǑtimcǑinǑ
manyǑ ycars.Ǒ HcǑtakcsǑ aǑ busǑ andǑgrowsǑ cvcrǑ morcǑ
rcstlcssǑ asǑ thcǑ conductorǑ announccsǑ thcǑ stopsǑ Ļ
KarlǑ MarxǑ Squarc,Ǒ StalinǑ AǑvcnuc,Ǒ MarshalǑ KoncvǑ
Strcct,Ǒ AǑvcnucǑ ofǑ thcǑ SovictǑ Army,Ǒ LcninǑ Em-
bankmcnt .Ǒ . . Ǒ
WhcnǑthcǑbusǑcrosscsǑthcǑSta|inǑBridgc,Ǒ hcǑ¡umpsǑ
outǑ andǑtricsǑ toǑ climbǑ ovcrǑ thcǑ battlcmcnt,Ǒ butǑ isǑ
hcldǑ backǑ byǑ passcrs-by.Ǒ
"LctǑmcǑgo! "ǑhcǑshouts.Ǒ "!ǑwantǑtoǑdrownǑmysc|fǑ
inǑ thcǑVolga! "Ǒ
Ïnc0mµl8h8nSÌbl8
AǑ RussianǑ takcsǑ aǑwalkǑ throughǑPragucǑwithǑhisǑ
guidc.Ǒ
"WhatǑ isǑ that7"Ǒ hcǑ asksǑ hisǑ guidcǑ pointingǑtoǑ aǑ
marvclǑ ofǑ WcstcrnǑ tcchnologyĵǑ aǑ sctǑ ofǑ tramcǑ
signals.Ǒ
"YǑouǑsccǑallǑthcscǑcarsǑgoingǑthroughǑthcǑintcrscc-
tion7"Ǒ cxplainsǑ thcǑ guidc.Ǒ "ThatǑ isǑ bccauscǑ thcirǑ
lightǑisǑgrccn.Ǒ !nǑthcǑstrcctǑthatǑgocsǑacross,ǑthcǑcarsǑ
arcǑwaiting,Ǒ bccauscǑ thcǑ lightǑ isǑ rcd.Ǒ NowǑ inǑaǑ fcwǑ
sccondsǑthcǑgrccnǑlightǑwillǑgoǑambcrǑandǑ thcnǑrcd,Ǒ
andǑ thcǑ carsǑ hcrcǑ willǑ stop.Ǒ AtǑ thcǑ samcǑ timc,Ǒ thcǑ
othcrǑ lightǑ willǑ goǑ grccnǑ andǑ thcǑ cross-tramcǑ willǑ
8tart ÜO«:n_."
"GodǑ havcǑ mcrcy,"Ǒ mumblcsǑ thcǑ stupchcdǑ
Russian,Ǒ "whatǑ chaosǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
1n¡hÌnkHbl8
TwoǑRussianǑpcasants,ǑinǑaǑvi||agcǑncarǑMoscow,Ǒ
chatǑovcrǑaǑ glassǑ ofǑvodka.Ǒ
"ThcyǑsayǑ ParisǑ licsǑ anothcrǑZ,U mi|csǑ bcyondǑ
MoscowǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
"YȈouǑ don'tǑ say.Ǒ . . ǑTwoǑ thousandǑ mi|csǑ= . = Î MyǑ
God,Ǒ butǑ whatǑ aǑ dumpǑ thatǑ mustǑ bcǑ. . . Ǒ
LX 08hnÌlÌ0n8
ThcǑpartyǑpropagandistǑ dclivcrcdǑ aǑlccturcǑtoǑthcǑ
asscmblcdǑ cmployccsǑ ofǑ aǑ SovictǑ collcctivcǑ farm.Ǒ
OnǑ thcǑ brightǑ horizonsǑ ofǑCommunism,Ǒ thcǑ classLj
lcssǑsocictyǑofǑwhichǑMarxǑhadǑdrcamtǑandǑofǑwhichǑ
thcǑ SovictsǑ arcǑ stillǑ drcaming,Ǒ aǑUtopiaǑ inǑ whichǑ
thcrcǑ isǑ noǑ statc,Ǒ andǑ thcrcǑ isǑ abundanccǑ forǑall.Ǒ
NcxtǑ day,Ǒ twoǑ pcasantsǑ discussǑ thcǑlccturc.Ǒ
"!Ǒ didn'tǑ undcrstandǑ whatǑ hcǑ mcantǑ byǑ thcscǑ
ĮbrightǑ horizons'Ǒ allǑthcǑtimc,Ǒ didǑyou!"Ǒ
"Wcll,Ǒ youǑknowǑwhatǑbrighl is,Ǒ donįtǑyou!"Ǒ
"SurcǑ!Ǒ know.Ǒ ButǑwhatǑdocsǑ horizon mcan!ġǑ
"ThatǑhadǑmcǑpuzzlcd,Ǒtoo.Ǒ ButǑ!Ǒ lookcdǑitǑupǑinǑ
thcǑ dictionary. "Ǒ
"AndǑ whatǑdidǑitǑsay!"Ǒ
"AȈ Hct:t:cus !:ne ĠeȅȮĿeƬɄ ŀēǙȆũɄ andɄ Jkj¡ vD:CD
rcccdcsǑ intoǑ thcǑ distanccǑ asǑ thcǑ obscrvcrǑ aplj
proachcs."Ǒ
10 LHch Acc0l0Ìng l0 MÌS P880S
!nǑ thcǑ 2! stǑ ccntury,Ǒ thcǑ RussiansǑ hadǑ atǑ lastǑ
achicvcdǑ Communism.Ǒ
AǑ childǑ rcadsǑ anǑhistoricalǑnovcl.Ǒ
"Mummy,Ǒ whatǑ docsǑ qu8u8 ]or ĐeąĕǑmcan!ĢǑ
"Wcll,Ǒ dcar,Ǒ aǑ qu8u8 isǑ anǑ cxprcssionǑ fromǑ thcǑ
badǑ oldǑ timcs.Ǒ !tǑ mcansǑ aǑ longǑ lincǑ ofǑ pcoplcǑ
waitingǑ toǑbuyǑgoods."Ǒ
"Ycs,Ǒ mummy,Ǒ saidǑ thcǑ child.Ǒ "ButǑ whatǑ docsǑ
ĐeąĕǑ mcan!"Ǒ
@oors

@owcn
7he /riendship belween lhe Czechos/ovck
0HO 7j¿h0H ]8O]Í8 IS 0S OÍO 0S lh8 0¿8S . . .
lrcsìdcnt NOvOln],
wcIcOmìngadcIcgatìOnIrOmAIghanìãlan
Ï8m0clHcy
AntonƏnǑ NovotnýǑ wasǑ PrcsidcntǑ ofǑ Czccho-
sIovakiaǑ fromǑ ÎVJ¯ toǑ FcbruaryǑ Î Vôb (whcnǑ hisǑ
rcsignationǑ ushcrcdǑ inǑ thcǑ short-IivcdǑ "PragucǑ
Spring,"Ǒ cxtinguishcdǑ inǑ AugustǑ byǑ SovictǑ tanks) .Ǒ
HcǑ hadǑ riscnǑ fromǑ aǑ minorǑ PartyǑ hackǑ toǑ FirstǑ
SccrctaryǑ ofǑ thcǑ CommunistǑ PartyǑ byǑ hisǑ ruthIcssǑ
pcrsccutionǑ ofǑ "spics, "Ǒ "conspirators, "Ǒ andǑ
"cosmopoIitans"Ǒ (Jcws)Ǒ inǑ thcǑ ycarsǑ ofǑ thcǑ StaIinǑ
tcrror.Ǒ HcǑ wasǑ asǑ narrow-mindcd,Ǒ trcachcrous,Ǒ
ruthIcss,Ǒ primitivc,Ǒ dogmatic,Ǒ antiscmitic,ǑandǑborğ
ingǑ asǑ thcǑ othcrǑ mcmbcrsǑ ofǑ thcǑ brccdǑ ofǑ burcau-
cratsǑthatǑinǑCommunismǑriscǑtoǑthcǑtopǑbyǑthcǑLawǑ
ofǑ NcgativcǑ ScIcction. Ǒ BcyondǑ thatŁǑ hcǑ hadǑ onIǁǑ
twoǑfcaturcsǑthatǑdistinguishcdǑhimǑżromǑthcǑrcstǑofǑ
thisǑ crowd.Ǒ HcǑcouIdǑ notǑ spcakǑ hisǑ ownǑ IanguagcǑ
propcrIyǑ (aǑ charactcristicǑ thatǑ hcǑ sharcdǑ withǑ
UIbrichtǑandǑKhrushchcv),ǑandǑhcǑwasǑsoǑincompcNJ
tcntǑinǑanythingǑbutǑintrigucsǑandǑinhghtingǑthatǑhisǑ
poIicicsǑ ruincdǑ thcǑ CzcchǑ cconomyǑ withinǑ aǑ fcwǑ
ycars.Ǒ
WithinǑ hoursǑofǑhisǑ"cIcction"Ǒ(byǑaǑ frauduIcntIyǑ
cIcctcdǑparIiamcnt)ǑtoǑthcǑprcsidcncy,Ǒ thcǑfoIIowingǑ
wasǑ whispcrcdǑ fromǑ carǑ toǑcar.Ǒ
"NowǑ itǑ isǑ provcnǑ bcyondǑ doubtǑ thatǑ wcǑ arcǑ aǑ
dcmocracy.Ǒ !nǑ CzcchosIovakia,Ǒ truIyǑ 0H)DOO) canǑ
bcǑ prcsidcnt .Ǒ . . Ǒ "Ǒ
bu 1hHl`S lh8 1Nck
¬Itcr Þovotny bocuno gǘosźdont,Ʉ aɄ staƠgɄ ȭŻȄŨɄ
hisǑ picturc,Ǒ shownǑabovc,Ǒ wasǑ Ɛssucd.Ǒ
BccauscǑ itsǑ issucǑ wasǑ dcIaycų,Ǒ gocsǑ thisǑ story,Ǒ
NovotnĞǑgrcwǑimpaticntǑandǑcallcdǑthcǑdircctorǑofǑ
thcǑpostalǑprcssǑ onǑthcǑcarpct.Ǒ
"WcǑhavcǑthcǑstampǑrcady,Ǒ ComradcǑPrcsidcnt,ģǑ
saysǑ thcǑ dircctor,Ǒ "butǑ wcǑ arcǑ havingǑ tcchnicalǑ
dimculticsǑ withǑ thcǑ adhcsivc.Ǒ ThcǑ stampǑ wonİtǑ
stick."Ǒ
"Nonscnscl "Ǒ shoutsǑ NovotnĞ,Ǒ takcsǑ oncǑ ofǑ ƲhcǑ
stamps,ǑspitsǑonǑit,ǑputsǑitǑonǑanǑcnvclopcǑandǑbangsǑ
itǑ downǑwithǑ hisǑ hst.Ǒ !tǑsticksǑ pcrfcctIy.Ǒ
"OhĶǑ !Ǒ scc,"ǑsaysǑthcǑdircctor.Ǒ "YouǑ spitǑ onǑ lh0l
sidcǑ ofǑthcǑ stampǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
Ïgn0lHnc8Ïgn0l80
LikcǑ mostǑ mcmbcrsǑ ofǑ thcǑ CommunistǑ PartyǑ
burcaucracyǑ("aparatchiks"),Ǒ NovotnýǑwasǑaǑprimiNj
tivc,Ǒ ignorantǑ man.Ǒ HcǑ hadǑ dimculticsǑ withǑ thcǑ
longcrǑ CzcchǑ words,Ǒ andǑ wasǑ quitcǑ thrownǑ oñǑ
baIanccǑbyǑforcignǑ words,Ǒ whichǑhcǑmispronounccdǑ
andǑ didǑ notǑ undcrstand.Ǒ
NovotnýǑ wantcdǑ toǑ takcǑ hisǑ wifcǑ toǑ thcǑ annualǑ
ballǑ ofǑ thcǑ AcadcmyǑ ofǑ Scicnccs,Ǒ butǑ hisǑ adviscrsǑ
triŸdǑ toǑ dissuadcǑ him.Ǒ
"ThcyǑarcǑaǑnastyǑlot.ǑThcyǑwillǑpointcdlyǑignorcǑ
youl "Ǒ
ThcǑNovotnýsǑ wcntǑ allǑ thcǑ samc.Ǒ
NcxtǑ day,Ǒ hcǑbawlcdǑ outǑhisǑ adviscrs.Ǒ
"!gnorcǑ mc,Ǒ myǑ footlǑ NobodyǑtookǑ thcǑslightcstǑ
noticcǑ ofǑus! "Ǒ
10ll8lll8S
AtǑthcǑsamcǑball,Ǒ Mrs.Ǒ NovotnýǑrcmarkcdǑonǑthcǑ
bcautifulǑ complcxionǑ ofǑ somcǑ ofǑ thcǑ ladics.Ǒ
NovotnýǑ sctǑ hisǑspicsǑ toǑ work.Ǒ
"FindǑoutǑhowǑthcyǑdoǑ it. "Ǒ
ThcyǑ rcportǑ backǑ inǑ aǑ fcwǑ minutcs.Ǒ
"ThcyǑuscǑcau dc lot/cllc, ComradcǑPrcsidcnt."Ǒ
"Ohļdc-what!"Ǒ
"ToilctǑwatcr,Ǒ ComradcǑPrcsidcnt."Ǒ
WhcnǑhcǑcomcsǑhomcǑncxtǑcvcning,Ǒ hisǑwifcǑhasǑ
aǑ bigǑ bumpǑ onǑ hcrǑ hcad.Ǒ
"WhatǑ happcncdǑ toǑ you?"Ǒ hcǑ asks.Ǒ
"!ǑtricdǑ thisǑ thingǑwithǑ thcǑtoilctǑwatcr,"ǑsaysǑthcǑ
FirstǑ Lady.Ǒ "ButǑ thcǑscatǑ fcllǑonǑ myǑ hcad. "Ǒ
b8fÌlÌly
AǑ mcctingǑ ofǑComcconǑ inǑMoscow.Ǒ
WaltcrǑ UlbrichtǑ arrivcsǑ hrstǑ andǑ pullsǑ hisǑ chairǑ
outǑfromǑ undcrǑ thcǑtablc.Ǒ AǑ thumbtack,Ǒ pointǑup,Ǒ
licsǑonǑ thcǑchair.Ǒ HcǑhcsitatcsǑ forǑ aǑ momcnt,Ǒ thcnǑ
clcnchcsǑ hisǑ tccthǑ likcǑ aǑ toughǑ Gcrman,Ǒ andǑ sitsǑ
downǑ onǑ it.Ǒ
Poland'sǑGomulkaǑalsoǑhndsǑaǑthumbtackǑonǑhisǑ
chair,Ǒ notǑ toǑ bcǑ outdoncǑ byǑ thcǑ EastǑ GcrmanǑ
Gaulcitcr,Ǒ hcǑsitsǑ downǑ onǑ it,Ǒ too.Ǒ
ThcnǑNovotnýǑpullsǑoutǑhisǑchairłǑ
"Plcasc,Ǒ ComradcǑ Khrushchcv,Ǒ plcasc! "Ǒ hcǑ
whincsǑ obscquiously.Ǒ "ThcyǑ forgotǑ toǑ givcǑ mcǑ myǑ
thȠƤġtaĩƎɄ. . . Ʉ

Ï8hnÌlÌ0nS
Lizard: AǑ crocodilcǑaftcƩǑsclf-criticism.Ǒ
šĚeĚeŏǑ ThcǑ socčalčstǑ approachǑ toǑ thcǑ rctailǑ
busincss.Ǒ
Ï08nlÌly LHl0
St.Ǒ PctcrǑstandsǑatǑthcǑgatcsǑ ofǑhcavcn,Ǒ chcckingǑ
outǑ ncwǑ arrivals.Ǒ
"WhoǑ arcǑyou7"Ǒ hcǑ asksǑ aǑ ncwcomcr.Ǒ
"ŝudwigǑvanǑ Bccthovcn. "Ǒ
"AnybodyǑcanǑ sayǑ that.Ǒ ProvcǑ itl "Ǒ
BccthovcnǑ borrowsǑ aǑ harpǑ fromǑ anǑ onlookingǑ
angclǑ andǑ startsǑ playing.Ǒ
"Wclcomc,Ǒ macstro!Ǒ WalkǑ rightǑ inl "Ǒ
"WhoǑarcǑyou7"ǑhcǑasksǑ thcǑ ncxtǑ arrival.Ǒ
"PabloǑ Picasso."Ǒ
"AnybodyǑcanǑsayǑthat.Ǒ ProvcǑ itl "Ǒ
PicassoǑgrabsǑaǑcloudǑandǑfashionsǑitǑintoǑaǑdovc.Ǒ
"¾eÌCODe¸ ñuSterÎ ¾u¡K rI_ht Inί
AnothcrǑ arrival.Ǒ
"AndǑ whoǑ arcǑyou7"Ǒ
"AntonƑnǑ Novotný. Ĥ Ǒ
"AnybodyǑcanǑsayǑthat.ǑYouǑwillǑhavcǑtoǑprovcǑitǑ
|ustǑ likcǑ BccthovcnǑandǑ PicassoǑdid."Ǒ
"Bccthovcn7Ǒ Picasso7Ǒ WhoǑarcǑthcy7"Ǒ
"Wclcomc,Ǒ Mr.Ǒ Prcsidcnt!Ǒ WalkǑ rightǑ iƢl "Ǒ
Ï0W%HlkS
ThcǑ cntircǑ workǑ forccǑ ofǑthcǑ CommunistǑ coun-
tricsǑisǑ sub¡cctcdǑ toǑpcriodicǑpurgcsǑ(callcdǑ verqcc-
ltons inǑ Ncwspcak).Ǒ OncǑ ofǑ thcǑ mostǑ scvcrcǑ tookǑ
placcǑ inǑ Î VJ¯ whcnǑ Novotný,Ǒ raƳtlcdǑ byǑ thcǑ Hun-
garianǑ RcvolutionǑ thcǑ ycarǑ bcforc,Ǒ tricdǑ hardǑ toǑ
wccdǑoutǑ"radishcs"Ǒ(rcdǑoutsidc,ǑwhitcǑinsidc)Ǒ fromǑ
allǑ butǑ insignihcantǑ positions.Ǒ Any oncǑ ofǑ thcǑ
followingǑ wouldǑ oftcnǑ rcsultǑ inǑ thcǑ lossǑ ofǑ onc'sǑ
¡ob.Ǒ BourgcoisǑ orǑJcwishǑ familyǑbackground,Ǒ rclanj
tƒvcsǑ ŭbroad,Ǒ contactsǑ withǑ formcrǑcapitalists,Ǒ hav-
ingǑ livcdǑ inǑ aǑ WcstcrnǑ country,Ǒ insuƂcicntǑ
knowlcdgcǑ ofǑCommunistǑ litcraturc,Ǒ andǑ othcrs.Ǒ
AǑ manǑ isǑ intcrvicwcdǑ byǑ aǑ "VcrihcationǑ Com-
DÎttcc.¯
"WhatǑkindǑ ofǑfamilyǑ doǑ youǑcomcǑfrom!"Ǒ
"AǑ rich,Ǒ JcwishǑ family. "Ǒ
"AndǑ yourǑwifc!"Ǒ
"AǑ GcrmanǑ aristocrat. "Ǒ
"HavcǑ youǑ cvcrǑ bccnǑtoǑthcǑWcst!"Ǒ
"!ǑspcntǑmostǑ ofǑmyǑlifcǑinǑEngland."Ǒ
"HowǑdidǑyouǑmakcǑ aǑ livingǑ thcrc!"Ǒ
"AǑ fricndǑsupportcdǑmc."Ǒ
"WhcrcǑ didǑhcǑgctǑthcǑmoncyǑ from!"Ǒ
"HcǑowncdǑ aǑtcxtilcǑfactory."Ǒ
"WhoǑ wasǑ Lcnin!"Ǒ
"NcvcrǑhcardǑofǑhim."Ǒ
"WhatǑ isǑyourǑnamc!"Ǒ
"KarlǑMarx. "Ǒ
1hHl`S Ïm 8l8nl
AtǑanothcrǑintcrvicw,ǑthcǑmanǑundcrǑscrutinyǑwasǑ
hrcdǑasǑ bcingǑofǑbourgcoisǑ origin.Ǒ HisǑ fathcrǑwasǑ aǑ
formcrǑ factoryǑ owncr.Ǒ
"ButǑ comradcs,"Ǒ hcǑ protcstcd,Ǒ "myǑ fathcrǑ hasǑ aǑ
muchǑ morcǑscnsitivcǑpositionǑ - hcǑisǑaǑhighǑomcialǑ
inǑthcǑ MinistrǂǑ ofǑDcfcnsc! "Ǒ
"Ycs,ǑwcǑknow,ǑbutǑthat'sǑalIǑright.Ǒ Ie i sǑofǑpro-
lctarianǑ origin! "Ǒ
Alm0Sl %H08 Îl
AnothcrǑ intcrvicwǑ wcntǑ likcǑthisŐǑ
"WhatǑwasǑ ĝourǑ fathcr'sǑ OCCuOaIíon?"
"! donıĖǑrightƚyǑĎnowǑ. . . ǑHcǑuscdǑtoǑminglcǑwithǑ
thcǑ crowdsǑ inǑ markctǑ pIaccsǑ andǑ atǑ socccrǑ gamcs,Ǒ
andǑ hcǑ wouldǑ comcǑ homcǑ |oadcdǑ withǑ moncyǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
"InǑ othcrǑ words,Ǒ aǑ pick-pockct.Ǒ AndǑ yourǑ
mothcr!"Ǒ
"IǑ don'tǑ rightlyǑ know. . . Ǒ ShcǑ uscdǑ toǑ lcavcǑ atǑ
nightǑ andǑ comcǑ backǑ inǑ thcǑ morningǑ loadcdǑ withǑ
moncyǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
"InǑ othcrǑ words,Ǒ aǑ prostitutc.Ǒ AnybodyǑ clscǑ inǑ
thcǑ family!"Ǒ
"ThcrcǑwasǑanǑ unclc.Ǒ HcǑuscdǑtoǑgoǑfromǑdoorǑtoǑ
doorǑ scllingǑ combsǑ andǑ brushcsǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
"AǑ NjCllȺ-DOUǛŞCOÍ8Ʉ DU8ÍƯC88ƣĕưÎɄ ÀOUɄ ŕOOƙ,Ʉ youǑ
couldǑ havcǑ bccnǑ aǑ hrstǑ classǑ cadrc,Ǒ butǑ yourǑ unclcǑ
spoilcdǑ itǑ allǑ forǑyou! "Ǒ
ÏHllh Hn0 Ïlcll0n
AtǑ anothcrǑ hcaring,Ǒ aǑ PartyǑ mcmbcrǑ isǑ chcwcdǑ
outǑforǑgoingǑ toǑ churchǑcvcryǑSunday.Ǒ
"You,Ǒ aǑ Communist,Ǒ arcǑnotǑashamcdǑofǑlistcn-
ingǑ toǑ thoscǑ fairyǑ storics!Ǒ AftcrǑ thcǑ PartyǑ hasǑ
abolishcdǑ cxploitation,Ǒ indƸstrializcdǑ thcǑ country,Ǒ
dcvclopcdǑ agriculturc,Ǒ raiscdǑ thcǑ livingǑ standard,Ǒ
madcǑ thcǑ countryǑbloomǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
"WaitǑaǑminutc,"ǑintcrruptsǑthcǑ bclicvcr,Ǒ "whoǑisǑ
itǑ thatǑ isǑtcllingǑthcǑ fairyǑ storics!"Ǒ
½lShÍul1hlnklng
AnothcrǑ PartyǑ mcmbcrǑ isǑ rcprimandcdǑ forǑ notǑ
bcingǑ prcscntǑ atǑ thcǑ |astǑ PartyǑ mcctingǑ ofǑ hisǑ
organization.Ǒ
"ButǑ nobodyǑ toldǑ mc!Ǒ !fǑ onlyǑ !Ǒ hadǑ knownǑ itǑ
wouldǑbcǑthcǑlast,Ǒ !Ǒ wouldn'tǑhavcǑmisscdǑitǑforǑthcǑ
world! "*Ǒ
¯ Jhìs ìs a 5Ovìct stOry. Ldsl has thcsamctwO mcanìn¿s ì n
Kussìan asì n En¿Iìsh, butnOt inCzcch Or ì nGcrman. Thcrc
arcmanyantì-COmmunìststOrìcsbascdOnpuns, bulthìsìsOnc
OIthc Icw that wìll translatc ìntO ln¿ltsh.
L00llHbH00
ThcǑ pcnaltyǑ forǑ stcalingǑ ºNationalǑ Propcrty"Ǒ
(company,Ǒ i . c. , Ǒ govcrnmcnt,Ǒ propcrty)Ǒ isǑ inǑ allǑ
CommunistǑ countricsǑ muchǑ highcrǑ thanǑ forǑ thcftǑ
fromǑanǑindividualǑ owncr,Ǒ thcǑformcrǑ is,Ǒ ofǑcoursc,Ǒ
muchǑ morcǑwidcsprcad.Ǒ
ArmcdǑ sccurityǑ guardsǑ arcǑ postcdǑ atǑ thcǑ cn-
tranccsǑ toǑ allǑ largcrǑ factoricsǑ andǑ morcǑ importantǑ
omccs.Ǒ PartǑ ofǑthcirǑ|obǑ isǑ toǑ prcvcntǑthcftǑofǑºna-
tionalǑpropcrty"ǑbyǑinspcctingǑcmployccs'ǑbricfcascsǑ
asǑ thcyǑ lcavcǑ thcǑgatcs.Ǒ
AǑworkcrǑlcavingǑaǑfactoryǑwantsǑtoǑpassǑthroughǑ
thcǑ gatcǑ withǑ aǑ whcclbarrowǑ fullǑ ofǑ sawdust.Ǒ ThcǑ
guardǑfcclsǑthroughǑthcǑsawdust,ǑbutǑfindsǑnothinç.Ǒ
¯LÅ.Ʉ 100 08H §0.
¬
NcxtǑ dayǑ thcǑ workcrǑ isǑ thcrcǑ againǑ withǑ thcǑ
sawdust.Ǒ ThisǑ timcǑthcǑguardǑ makcsǑ himǑ spillǑ itǑonǑ
thcǑfloorǑandǑgocsǑthroughǑitǑwithǑaǑrakc,Ǒ butǑfindsǑ
nothing.Ǒ
ThisǑ gocsǑ onǑ forǑ twoǑ wccks,Ǒ andǑ thcǑ guardǑ isǑ
growingǑsickǑwithǑfrustration.Ǒ ButǑhcǑisǑdctcrmincdǑ
toǑ gctǑ toǑ thcǑ bottomǑ ofǑ this.Ǒ SoǑ hcǑ invitcsǑ thcǑ
workcrǑ forǑ aǑ drinkǑ andǑ kccpsǑhllingǑ itǑupǑ untilǑthcǑ
workcr'sǑ tongucǑ looscnsǑ up.Ǒ
º!t'sǑlikcǑthis,"ǑsaysǑthcǑdrunkǑworkcr.Ǒ º!Ǒ nccdcdǑ
toǑmakcǑ aǑ rabbitǑ pcnǑsoǑwcǑcouldǑhavcǑmorcǑmcat.Ǒ
ŗndǑ yƤuǑ knowǑ howǑ dimcu|tǑ itǑ isǑ toǑ gctǑ wood.Ǒ SoǑ
ÌɄ madcǑitǑoutǑofǑthcǑfourtccnǑ whcclbarrowsǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
1h8 HÌch8Sl Luunlly Ìn lh8 ½ull0
isǑthcǑUSSRőǑForǑhalfǑaǑccnturyǑcvcrybodyǑhasǑbccnǑ
stcalingǑfromǑthcǑStatc,Ǒ andǑstillǑthcrcǑisǑsomcthingǑ
lcftǑtoǑ stcal.Ǒ
1h8 b8cl8l
NovotnýǑ disguiscsǑ himscIfǑ asǑ aǑ workcrǑ andǑ in-
cognitoǑ inspcctsǑ aǑ factory.Ǒ
"WhatǑ doǑ youǑ thinkǑ ofǑPrcsidcntǑ Novotný!"Ǒ hcǑ
asksǑ aǑworkcr.Ǒ
"McctǑmcǑaftcrǑthcǑshift,ǑandǑIǑwillǑtcllǑyou,"ǑsaysǑ
thcǑ workcrǑ outǑ ofǑthcǑ corncrǑ ofǑhisǑ mouth.Ǒ
AftcrǑwork,Ǒ NovotnýǑwaitsǑforǑhim.Ǒ ThcǑworkcrǑ
looksǑ roundǑtoǑmakcǑsurcǑhcǑisǑnotǑovcrhcard,Ǒ andǑ
thcn vhispcrs in his cur.
"YouǑ knowǑ what!Ǒ IǑ likcǑthcǑguy."Ǒ
%Hk8 Ïl ÏHSl
NovotnýǑ isǑ onǑ anǑ inspcctionǑ tourǑ ofǑ collcctivcǑ
farms. Ǒ !nǑ oncǑ villagc,Ǒ hcǑ sccsǑ aǑ manǑ byǑ thcǑ
haystack, Ǒ hcǑisǑ catingǑ thcǑhay.Ǒ
NovotnýǑ tcllsǑ thcǑdrivcrǑtoǑstop.Ǒ
"AndǑ whatǑ mightǑ youǑ bcǑ doing!"Ǒ
"!ǑamǑaǑformcrǑlandowncr,ǑyourǑcxccllcncy,"ǑsaysǑ
thcǑ man,Ǒ wccping.Ǒ "ThcyǑ tookǑ myǑ landǑ awayǑ. . . Ǒ
!Ǒ havcǑ nothingǑ toǑ cat .Ǒ . . Ǒ !Ǒ amǑ rcduccdǑ toǑ catingǑ
hayǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
"ThcnǑ goǑ ontoǑ thcǑ grccnǑ grass! Ǒ AndǑ quickIylǑ
WhatǑwillǑyouǑ catǑinǑthcǑwintcr!"Ǒ
MÌ008n H8S8f8S
AǑ collcctivcǑ farmǑ laborcrǑ isǑ rcapingǑ thcǑ whcat,Ǒ
mowingǑ itǑ withǑ aǑ scythc.Ǒ ThcǑDistrictǑ PartyǑ SccrcǍ
taryǑ arrivcsǑ inǑ hisǑ lŧxuryǑ carǑ andǑ walksǑ upǑ toǑ him.Ǒ
"Look,Ǒ comradc,Ǒ ifǑyouǑ sharpcnǑ thcǑ farǑ sidcǑofǑ
thcǑ bladc,Ǒ yourǑscythcǑ willǑcutǑbothǑthisǑ wayǑ andǑ
thatǑway.Ǒ YouǑwillǑ doublcǑyourǑproductivity."Ǒ
NcxtǑ dayǑ hcǑrcturns.Ǒ ThcǑlaborcrǑhasǑsharpcncdǑ
bothǑsidcsǑ ofǑhisǑ scythcǑandǑ isǑ cuttingǑ thisǑ wayǑ andǑ
thatǑ way.Ǒ
"Śood,"ǑsaysǑ thcǑŘƓstricĖǑ Sccrctary.Ǒ ĥşowǑÌÍ youǑ
willǑ putǑ onǑ aǑ pairǑ ofǑiccǑ skatcsǑ onǑ yourǑ bootsǑ andǑ
stampǑyourǑfcctǑasǑyouǑgoǑforward,ǑyouǑwillǑbcǑablcǑ
toǑ ploughǑ thcǑ landǑ rightǑ aftcrǑ youǑ cutǑ thcǑ whcat.Ǒ
YouǑ willǑ quadruplcǑ yourǑ productivity. "Ǒ
NcxtǑdayǑhcǑisǑthcrcǑagain.Ǒ ThcǑlaborcrǑisǑcuttingǑ
thisǑ wayǑ andǑ thatǑ way,Ǒ stampingǑ hisǑ skatcsǑ atǑ thcǑ
samcǑtimc.Ǒ ButǑwhcnǑhcǑsccsǑthcǑDistrictǑSccrctary'sǑ
carǑapproaching,Ǒ hcǑrunsǑ awayǑ onǑ hisǑ skatcs.Ǒ
"What'sǑthcǑmattcr,Ǒcomradc!"ǑasksǑthcǑsccrctaryǑ
whcnǑ hcǑ hasǑ caughtǑ upǑ withǑ him.Ǒ "1Ȉ havcǑ comcǑtoǑ
bringǑ youǑ thcǑ OrdcrǑ ofǑ HcroǑ ofǑ SocialistǑ Agri-
culturcǑ forǑ quadruplingǑ yourǑ productivity. "Ǒ
"Boy,Ǒ amǑ ÍɄ glad,ĦǑ saysǑ thcǑ laborcrǑ wiƴhǑ rclicĈ.Ǒ
"1Ȉ thoughtǑ youǑ wcrcǑ goingǑ toǑ suspcndǑ aǑ lantcrnǑ
fromǑmyǑ pcnisǑ soǑ 1Ʉ couldǑ workǑ nightsǑ asǑ wclll "Ǒ
88Ǒ
MuSlÌlÌly
ThcǑ hcad|incsǑ ofǑ thcǑ ncwspapcrsǑ inǑ thcǑ Comǎ
munistǑ countricsǑdoǑnotǑ bringǑthcǑIatcstǑncwsŔǑ thcyǑ
runǑ |ikcǑ this.Ǒ BkiNC iN 1HB HakvBs1 wt1HoU1
LosiNC a siNCLB CkAiN| orǑ DoǑ No1 bBLaY sowiNC
1HB wiN1Bk wHBa1| (A||ǑCommunistǑcountrics,Ǒin-
cidcnta||y,Ǒ wcrcǑ foodǑ cxportcrsǑ bcforcǑ thcǑ ComǏ
munistsǑ tookǑ ovcr.)Ǒ
ThcǑ fourǑ arch-cncmicsǑ ofǑsocia|istǑagricuIturc.Ǒ
Spring,Ǒ summcr,Ǒ fa||,Ǒ andǑ wintcr.Ǒ
ÏÌlSl AÌ0
AǑ PartyǑSccrctaryǑdrivcsǑaǑmotorcycIcǑtoǑinspcctǑ
thc cOÌÌcct:vc tatDJ :n D:5 U:5tt:Cl. ĈCɄ ƍŁcNJɄ !DcɄ WƇƶĸɄ
out,Ǒ hcǑ wcarsǑ hisǑ coatǑ frontǑ toǑ back,Ǒ buttoncdǑ upǑ
onǑ thcǑ back.Ǒ
OncǑdayǑhcǑhasǑ aǑ fa||,Ǒ andǑanǑambu|anccǑisǑ scntǑ
for.Ǒ WhcnǑ itǑarrivcs,Ǒ hcǑisǑ dcad.Ǒ
"ścǑ wasǑ sti||Ǒ a|ivcǑ aftcrǑ thcǑ fa||,"Ǒ rcportǑ thcǑ
pcasants.Ǒ "ButǑ hcǑ dicdǑ whcnǑ wcǑ turncdǑ hisǑ hcadǑ
backǑ intoǑthcǑrightǑ dircction. IJ Ǒ . . Ǒ
1hl88 ÌS H LluW0
WhyǑ doǑ mcmbcrsǑ ofǑ thcǑ sccrctǑ po|iccǑ patro|Ǒ inǑ
thrcŹs?Ǒ
OncǑcanǑrcad,Ǒ oncǑcanǑwritc,Ǒ andǑthcǑ thirdǑ kccpsǑ
anǑ cycǑ onǑ thcscǑtwoǑ dangcrousǑ Čntc||cctua|s.Ǒ
bymm8lly
ThcǑdiñcrcnccǑbctwccnǑcapitaƛismǑ andǑsocialism.Ǒ
!nǑ capitalism,Ǒ manǑ isǑ cxploitcdǑ byǑ hisǑ fcllowǑ
man,Ǒ inǑ socialism,Ǒ itǑ isǑ prccisclyǑ thcǑ othcrǑ wayǑ
round.Ǒ
blHlln`S LWn ½0l0S
AndǑ again.Ǒ ThcǑ diñcrcnccǑ bctwccnǑ capitalismǑ
andǑ socialism.Ǒ
¯hc ÍunUaDcntaÌ OU_cCt Ot Ca
]
:taÌ:JD :J tO c×
tractǑthcǑmaximumǑprohtsǑbyǑmcrcilcssǑcxploitationǑ
ofǑ thcǑ toilingǑ masscs,Ǒ thcǑ fundamcntalǑ ob¡cctǑ ofǑ
socialismǑ isǑ toǑ attainǑ andǑ cxcccdǑ thcǑ lcvclǑ ofǑ thcǑ
mostǑ advanccdǑ capitalistǑcountricsǑ
Lul 0Í MÌS b8nS8S
AǑ manǑ isǑ scntǑ toǑ aǑ twoǑ wccks'Ǒ indoctrinationǑ
coursc.Ǒ WhcnǑhcǑrcturns,Ǒ hcǑgocsǑtoǑsccǑhisǑdoctor.Ǒ
"Doctor,Ǒ !Ǒ amǑ losingǑ thcǑ co-ordinationǑ ofǑ myǑ
scnscs!Ǒ WċthǑmyǑcars,Ǒ !ǑhcarǑoncǑthing,ǑbutǑwithǑmyǑ
cycs,Ǒ !Ǒ sccǑ quitcǑanothcrǑ. . . Ǒ
All8VÌHlÌ0n
AǑ condcmncdǑ soulǑ arrivcsǑ inǑhcll.Ǒ
ToǑ hisǑ surprisc,Ǒ thcrcǑ isǑ notǑ oncķǑ butǑ twoǑ hclls,Ǒ
oncǑlabclcdǑCapila/isl Í8h, thcǑothcrǑ5ocia/t:l Í8h.
ThcrcǑisǑ aǑ longǑ qucucǑwaitingǑ forǑ thcǑ socialistǑhcll,Ǒ
butǑ nobodyǑisǑatǑ thcǑdoorsǑofǑthcǑcapitalistǑ hcll.Ǒ
HcǑpccpsǑthroughǑthcǑ doorǑ ofǑthcǑsocialistǑhcll.Ǒ
AǑ giantǑ machincǑgrabsǑthcǑ haplcssǑ soulsǑ withǑironǑ
clawsǑandǑprcsscsǑthcmǑ downǑ ontoǑrcd-hotǑcoals.Ǒ
Horrihcd,Ǒ hcǑwalksǑovcrǑtoǑthcǑcapitalistǑƈcll.ǑToǑ
hisǑ dismay,Ǒ itǑhasǑ thcǑ samcǑmachincǑ inǑopcration.Ǒ
"ButǑthcrcǑisǑ noǑ diñcrcnccl "Ǒ
"NoncǑwhatsocvcr,"Ǒ grinsǑ thcǑattcndantǑdcvil.Ǒ
"¯hen «hy ŹǰɄ oVotyUOUy ¡ryIng ¡O gC¡ ¡D¡O ¡DC
socialistǑ hcll!"Ǒ
"BccauscǑ thcyǑ kccpǑ runningǑ outǑ ofǑ coal,Ǒ andǑ
whcnǑthcǑmachincǑbrcaksǑdown,Ǒ thcyǑstartǑhuntingǑ
forǑsparcǑpartsǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
Ïn 1l0ubl8
ThcǑ CommunistǑ countricsǑ suñcrǑ fromǑ aǑ discascǑ
popularlyǑ callcdǑ s/o¿cnilis. ThcǑ wallsǑ andǑ
billboardsǑ arcǑ plastcrcdǑ withǑ slogansǑ likcǑ Iok
FBacB aNb SociaItsul orǑ E1BkNaI IkHNbsHtR
Wt1H THB Sov1 LNtoN! OncǑofǑthcǑmostǑfrcqucntǑ
isǑ
LBakN, LBakN, LBakN! ¬ Ċ1.Ʉ Lenin.
NovotnýǑ dclivcrsǑaǑ spccchǑtoǑthcǑstudcntsǑ ofǑthcǑ
CcntralǑ SchoolǑ forǑ PartyǑ Omcials.Ǒ
"AndǑ asǑ thcǑ immortalǑ LcninǑ said,Ǒ /ecm,
/ecrn . . .
HcǑ turnsǑ roundǑ toǑ hisǑ adviscrsǑ andǑ whispcrsŒǑ
"ŜclpǑmcǑoutǑquƔcklylǑ ŨhaėǑwasǑėhźǑthiƪdǑthinƅǑ
ComradcǑLcninǑ said!"Ǒ
1lHnSlHlÌ0n
!nǑ oncǑ phascǑ ofǑ thcǑ discasc,Ǒ thcǑ billboards,Ǒ
placards,Ǒ stickcrsǑ andǑ nconǑ signsǑ scrcamcdǑ
ÌÌ7LÌÍ !nǑPolish,ǑthcyǑscrcamcdǑPOKOďǑĂpcaccă ,Ǒ
butǑ thcǑ samcǑ wordǑ inǑCzcchǑ mcansǑ"room. "Ǒ
AǑ CzcchǑ wcntǑ forǑ aǑ sightsccingǑ tourǑ toǑ PolandǑ
withǑhisǑlittlcǑson.Ǒ AsǑthcyǑwalkǑthroughǑthcǑstrcctsǑ
ofǑWarsaw,Ǒ thcǑ childǑ asks.Ǒ
"WhatǑdoǑallǑthoscǑsignsǑPOKOďǑmcan,Ǒdaddy!"Ǒ
"Wcll,Ǒ !Ǒ gucssǑ thcyǑhavcǑaǑ lotǑ ofǑroomsǑforǑrcntǑ
hcrc,Ǒ son."Ǒ
AftcrǑaǑwhilcǑthcyǑcomcǑtoǑaǑrailroadǑcrossing.Ǒ AǑ
longǑ frcightǑ trainǑ isǑ passingǑ through.Ǒ ThcrcǑ isǑ aǑ
RussianǑ tankǑ onǑ cachǑ truck.Ǒ
"LOOƐ,Ʉ dĄddyƜ ħ Ǒ saysǑ lRÛ KlU. ĨťhisǑ isǑ thcǑ fur-
niturcǑ toǑgoǑ intoǑ allǑ thoscǑ roomsǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
A88µ Ïl Ll8Hn
AnothcrǑ littlcǑ misundcrstanding.Ǒ Kck² inǑ Rus-
sianǑmcansǑwhcl², inǑGcrman,Ǒ kccken isǑthcǑchild'sǑ
wordǑ forǑmovingǑonc'sǑbowcls.Ǒ
EastǑGcrmany.Ǒ AǑRussianǑ¡ccpǑpullsǑ up,Ǒ andǑ thcǑ
drivcrǑasksǑ inǑbrokcnǑGcrman.Ǒ
"WhcrcǑTownǑ Sovict!"Ǒ
"YǑouǑ mcanǑ thcǑ CityǑ Council!Ǒ řrivcǑ twoǑ blocksǑ
andǑ turnǑ lcft. "Ǒ
"Kak!"Ǒ asksǑthcǑRussian.Ǒ
"Jc," saysǑthcǑGcrman.Ǒ"ButǑnotǑonǑthcirǑcarpctl "Ǒ
bup8lmHlk8l
ThcǑ cconomyǑ dctcrioratcdǑ rapidlyǑ undcrǑ
Novotný'sǑ MastcrsǑ ofǑ Mismanagcmcnt.Ǒ ŢucucsǑ
wcrcǑ growingǑ cvcrǑ longcr.Ǒ ThcǑ mcatǑ shortagcǑ wasǑ
particularlyǑ conspicuous. Ǒ
PragucǑCcntralǑ RaiIroadǑ Station.Ǒ
"Hi,Ǒ Joc,Ǒ whcrcǑarcǑyouǑ going!"Ǒ
"ToǑ RakovnikǑ ĂaǑtownǑ50Ǒ milcsǑfromǑPraguc]Ǒ toǑ
gctǑsomcǑ mcat. "Ǒ
"Rcally!Ǒ DoǑ thcyǑ havcǑ mcatǑ thcrc!"Ǒ
"No,Ǒ butǑthat'sǑ whcrcǑthcǑqucucǑcnds! " Ǒ
AÌl Ïl8Ìghl
"AndǑ whcnǑ wcǑ havcǑ rcachcdǑ communism,"Ǒ
roarcdǑ thcǑ PartyǑ propagandistǑ addrcssingǑ thcǑ
cmployccsǑ ofǑaǑcollcctivcǑfarm,Ǒ"cachǑofǑyou,Ǒcomğ
radcs,Ǒ shallǑ havcǑ hisǑ ownǑ airplanc! " Ǒ
"WhoǑ nccdsǑ airplancs!"Ǒ grumblcsǑ oncǑ ofǑ hisǑ
listcncrs.Ǒ
"Why,Ǒ comradc,Ǒ1Ȉ amǑ surpriscdǑ thatǑyouǑ shouldǑ
askǑsuŰhǑaǑĽćumbǑqucstion.Ǒ ţupposcǑthcyǑhavcǑmcatǑ
inǑ Praguc.Ǒ ũouǑ spccdǑ thcrcǑ inǑyourǑ ownǑ machinc,Ǒ
andǑ youǑgrabǑ oncǑ ofǑthcǑbcstǑpIaccsǑinǑthcǑqucuc! " Ǒ
bÌgnS 0Í lh8 1Ìm8S
ThcǑ signsǑ ofǑ shopsǑ noǑ longcrǑ bcarǑ thcǑ owncr'sǑ
namc,Ǒ cvcrythingǑ bclongsǑ toǑ thcǑ govcrnmcnt,Ǒ andǑ
thcǑsignsǑsayǑ1mils and lcgclab/cs orǑ5lalioncç ctc.Ǒ
HcnccǑ yctǑ anothcrǑdiñcrcnccǑbctwccnǑ capita|ismǑ
andǑ socialismœǑ
BcforcǑ thcǑ CommunistsǑ tookǑ ovcr,Ǒ itǑ saidǑ Josc/
Þovck abovcǑthcǑshopǑandǑthcrcǑwasǑmcatǑinsidcǑit,Ǒ
nowǑitǑsaysǑßcal abovcǑthcǑshoƷǑandǑinsidcǑitǑthcrcǑ
isǑ butǑ JoscfǑNovŮk.Ǒ
V0lk bh0llHg8
"YǑ ouǑ knowǑ whyǑ thcrcǑ isǑnoǑpork!"Ǒ
"Why!"Ǒ
"BccauscǑallǑthcǑswincǑhavcǑbccnǑdclcgatcdǑtoǑthcǑ
ljĒǗȃȸɄ LǀƫŜǖľSS.¯Ʉ
Ï8Í8Hl80
AǑPragucǑgourmctǑrcstaurantǑadvcrtiscsǑ"WcǑwillǑ
payǑyouǑ ÎÛ crownsǑifǑourǑchcfǑisǑunablcǑtoǑprcparcǑ
yourǑ ĈavoritcǑ dish."Ǒ
AnǑAmcricanǑwalksǑinǑandǑ ordcrsǑ clcphant'sǑcarǑ
withǑ onionǑ saucc.Ǒ
ThcǑwaitcrǑrcturnsǑwithǑ aǑ ÎÛ crownǑ bill.Ǒ
"čÎIDɄ IDCɄ ĪDCŗSɄ ęǍOƝOŢICS,Ʉ SII.Ʉ ĆDCICɄ ÎSɄ ƲOȑɄ aǑ
storcǑinǑallǑ ofǑPragucǑthatǑ isǑnotǑ complctclyǑoutǑ ofǑ
onionsǑ. . . Ǒ
PyHÎ PyHÎ PyHÎ
Bcr|in,Ǒ bcforcǑ thcǑ wallǑwcntǑup.Ǒ TwoǑ littlcǑ kidsǑ
tauntǑcachǑothcr.Ǒ
"WcǑ havcǑ bananas,Ǒ andǑ youǑ don't! "Ǒ snccrsǑ thcǑ
oncǑ fromǑ WcstǑ Bcrlin.Ǒ "Nya!Ǒ Nya!Ǒ Nya! "Ǒ
"ButǑwcǑhavcǑ socia|ism,Ǒ andǑ youǑ don't,"Ǒ rctortsǑ
thcǑEastǑ Bcrlincr.Ǒ ijNya!Ǒ Nya!Ǒ Nya! "Ǒ
"ButǑwcǑarcǑgcttingǑthcrc,Ǒtoo! ǑNya!Ǒ Nya!Ǒ Nya! "Ǒ
"ThcnǑyouǑwon'tǑhavcǑanyǑbananas,Ǒ cithcr!Ǒ Nya!Ǒ
Nya!Ǒ Nya! "Ǒ
Ï0l8Ìgn 1lH08
WhatǑ wouldǑ happcnǑifǑNovotný'sǑplanncrsǑ wcrcǑ
inǑchargcǑ ofǑthcǑ Sahara!Ǒ
NothinçĸǑ thcǑ firstǑ )Car.
ThcǑ sccondǑ ycar,Ǒ thcyǑ wouldǑ startǑ importingǑ
sand.Ǒ
Ïlk8 LV8lyb00yLlS8
PriccsǑ startcdǑ risingǑ rapid|yǑ undcrǑ PrcsidcntǑ
Novotný'sǑ administrationǑ ofǑ mismanagcrs.Ǒ !tǑ
bccamcǑ diĉcultǑ toǑ supportǑ aǑ familyǑ withǑ on|yǑ aǑ
singlcǑ¡ ob. Ǒ
"DoǑyouǑ knowǑwhyǑourǑbclovcdǑPrcsidcntǑisǑalsoǑ
FirstǑSccrctaryǑofǑthcǑ CommunistǑ Party!"Ǒ
"Why!"Ǒ
"BccauscǑnowadaysǑitǑisǑsoǑdiĉcu|tǑtoǑmakcǑcndsǑ
mcctǑ onǑ aǑ singlcǑsalaryǑ. . . Ǒ
VlÌVHl8 Lnl8lµlÌS8
ThcǑ additiona|Ǒ ¡obsǑ thatǑ pcoplcǑ hcldǑ wcrc,Ǒ ofǑ
coursc,Ǒ unomcial.Ǒ EvcrybodyǑ wasǑ moonlighting.Ǒ
ThcǑ nationalizcdǑ rcpairǑ shopsǑ wou|dǑ takcǑ monthsǑ
toǑ rcpairǑanǑ automobilc,Ǒ aǑrcfrigcratorǑorǑaǑscwingǑ
machinc.Ǒ ButǑ thcirǑ workcrs,Ǒ forǑ anǑ undcr-thc-
countcrǑ rcward,Ǒ wouldǑ hxǑ itǑ inǑ aǑ dayǑ orǑ two.Ǒ ThcǑ
punditsǑ ofǑ MarxistǑ cconomicsǑ whoǑ writcǑ hvc-ycarǑ
plansǑ havcǑcrcatcdǑ aǑ boomingǑ privatcǑ industry.Ǒ
"DoǑ youǑ knowǑhowǑ wcǑcanǑachicvcǑcommunismǑ
inǑ sixǑ months!"Ǒ
"How!"Ǒ
"EntrustǑ itǑ toǑ ourǑ workingǑ classǑ asǑ aǑ moon|ightǑ
¡ob! "Ǒ
½Hg8 V0lÌcy
AǑmanǑ gocsǑ toǑanǑcmploymcntǑ cxchangcǑ toǑgctǑaǑ
¡ob.Ǒ ThcǑ omcialǑ looksǑ throughǑ hisǑ cardǑ hlc.Ǒ
¨ÍɄ havcǑ aǑ|obǑforǑJ,U crownsǑaǑmonth.Ǒ DistrictǑ
PartyǑ Sccrctary."Ǒ
"NotǑ myǑ linc,Ǒ thankǑ you.Ǒ GivcǑ mcǑ somcthingǑ
clsc. "Ǒ
"CadrcǑOmccrǑofǑaǑlargcǑfactoryŃǑ4, JÛcrownsǑaǑ
month. "Ǒ
"No,Ǒ no, Ǒ nothingǑ likcǑ that.Ǒ SomcthingǑ simplc,Ǒ
plcasc.Ǒ Don'tǑ youǑ havcǑanythingǑinǑ thcǑ bÛ toǑVÛ
crownǑ brackct!"Ǒ
"WcǑsurcǑ do.Ǒ ButǑinǑaǑ¡obǑ likcǑthat,Ǒ youǑhavcǑtoǑ
workl "Ǒ
Lc0n0mlcS
ThcǑprinciplcǑ ofǑaǑ socialistǑ cconomy!Ǒ
"Simplc,"Ǒ saysǑ aǑ workcr.Ǒ "ThcyǑ prctcndǑ toǑ payǑ
us,Ǒ andǑ wcǑ prctcndǑ toǑwork. "Ǒ
L¡h8l L0un¡ll8S, L¡h8l %0l8S
"HowǑ muchǑ doǑ youǑ makc!"Ǒ aǑ CzcchǑ asksǑ anǑ
AmcricanǑtourist.Ǒ
"$2M 8 W66k. ´
"HowǑmuchǑofǑthatǑdoǑyouǑspcndǑforǑfood,Ǒ rcnt,Ǒ
andǑ othcrǑ ncccssitics!"Ǒ
"AboutǑĪ50."Ǒ
"AndǑ whatǑ doǑyouǑdoǑwithǑthcǑrcst!"Ǒ
"YouǑ know,Ǒ inǑ thcǑ WcstǑ wcǑdon'tǑ askǑqucstionsǑ
likcǑthat.Ǒ AndǑ howǑ muchǑ doǑyouǑ makc!"Ǒ
"20ǑcrownsǑ aǑwcck. "Ǒ
"AndǑ howǑ muchǑ doǑ youǑ spcndǑ forǑ foodǑ andǑ
othcrǑ ncccssitics!"Ǒ
"AboutǑ 50Ǒ crowns. "Ǒ
"ButǑwhcrcǑdoǑyouǑƆctǑthcǑcƼtraǑ moncy?"Ǒ
"YǑ ouǑ know,Ǒ inǑ thcǑ socialistǑ countricsǑ wcǑ don'tǑ
askǑ qucstionsǑ likcǑthat! "Ǒ
b0VÌ8l 18chn0l0gy
OncǑofǑNovotný'sǑpctǑpro|cctsǑwasǑanǑoilǑpipclincǑ
fromǑ MoscowǑ toǑ Slovakia,Ǒ whichǑ wasǑ bclaborcdǑ
dailyǑ onǑ radio,Ǒ tclcvision,Ǒ thcǑ ncwspapcrs,Ǒ andǑ
cvcrywhcrcǑ clsc.Ǒ
ThcǑ SovictsǑ scntǑ aǑ mastcrǑ blucprintǑ ofǑthcǑ pro-
|cct.Ǒ !tǑ lookcdǑ IikcǑ this.Ǒ
"Fantastic!Ǒ Earthshaking!Ǒ SovictǑ tcchnology! "Ǒ
crooncdǑNovotný'sǑadviscrs.Ǒ "ButǑi t Ǒi s ǑtooǑcomplcxǑ
forǑ us,Ǒ wcǑmustǑgoǑ toǑ MoscowǑ andǑ lctǑ thcǑmcnǑ ofǑ
gcniusǑ cxplainǑ itǑtoǑus."Ǒ
"ThcǑA standsǑ forǑ Moscow,ǑthcǑB forǑBratislavaǑ
ŪcapitalǑofǑSlovakia] , "ǑsayǑthcǑmcnǑofǑgcnius,Ǒ"ǑandǑ
thcǑ lincǑ¡ oiningǑ thcmǑrcprcscntsǑthcǑpipclinc."Ǒ
"Sěpcēb!Ǒ Fabuloěs! "Ǒ cēoonǑ thcǑ adviscrsǑ again.Ǒ
"ButǑwhatǑ isǑthcǑscmicircularǑarcǑinǑthcǑ middlc!"Ǒ
"ThcǑoutlincǑofǑthcǑdraŽƵsman'sǑ fingcrǑasǑhcǑ hcldǑ
downǑ thcǑ rulcr."Ǒ
VVɄ
LlHck 0n lh8 V̵8lÌn8
WhcnǑ thcǑ pipc|incǑ wasǑ hnishcd,Ǒ thcǑ ¡okcsǑ wcrcǑ
notǑ |ongǑ inǑ coming.Ǒ
"Thcy'vcǑ arrcstcdǑ aǑ manǑ forǑdri||ingǑ aǑ ho|cǑ intoǑ
thcǑ pipc|inc! "Ǒ
"TryingǑ toǑ sabotagcǑit!"Ǒ
"No,Ǒ tryingǑ toǑsccǑwhichǑwayǑthcǑoi|ǑisǑñowing! "Ǒ
1h8VlHnn80Lc0n0my
ThcǑPragucǑzooǑhasǑacquircdǑaǑ|ionǑfromǑaǑzooǑinǑ
SwÍ Izer1and. ¡e :s LjȟtɄ í ƩɄ u Cu¿e wítŦɄ u ƗíOƪɄ wŧOɄ ŸǯɄ
anǑ o|dǑ rcsidcnt.Ǒ
"MyǑword,Ǒ youǑ |ookǑ good,"Ǒ saysǑthcǑCzcchǑ|ion.Ǒ
"WhatǑdidǑthcyǑfccdǑ youǑinǑSwitzcr|and!"Ǒ
"Ha|fǑ aǑ shccpǑ forǑ brcakfast,Ǒ thcǑ othcrǑ ha|fǑ forǑ
|unch,Ǒ andǑ ha|fǑaǑ horscǑ forǑdinncr,"Ǒ saysǑ thcǑSwissǑ
|ion.Ǒ "ButǑ you,Ǒ fricnd,Ǒ youǑ arcǑa||ǑskinǑandǑ boncs!Ǒ
WhatǑ doǑ thcyǑ fccdǑǃƥƹ!"Ǒ
"TwoǑhandfu|sǑofǑnutsǑ forǑbrcakfast,Ǒ oncǑhand-
fulǑ forǑ |unch,Ǒ andǑ thrccǑ bananasǑ forǑ dinncr."Ǒ
"Nuts!Ǒ Bananas!Ǒ ButǑ that'sǑ noǑ dictǑforǑaǑ |ion!"Ǒ
"ÍɄ knowǑ itǑ isn't.Ǒ ButǑ ÍɄ amǑ sittingǑ inǑ thcǑ s|otǑ
ƦƝanncdǑ žorǑaǑ monkcy,Ǒ anŴǑ thcyǑ pcnalƕzcǑ mcǑZܯ0Ʉ
ofǑ myǑ sa|aryǑ bccauscǑ ÍɄ amǑ unablcǑ toǑ swingǑ byǑ myǑ
tail .Ǒ . . Ǒ "Ǒ
I 00Ʉ
Ül8HkÌng lk8 H8c0l0
AǑgovcrnmcntǑdclcgationǑarrivcsǑinǑaǑfactoryǑproǐ
ducingǑ clcvators,Ǒ toǑ dclivcrǑ thcǑ RcdǑ FlagǑ ofǑ thcǑ
MinistryǑ ofǑ Machincry,Ǒ awardcdǑ quartcrlyǑ toǑ thcǑ
factoryǑ thatǑ hasǑsurpasscdǑ thcǑgovcrnmcntǑplanǑ byǑ
thcǑ highcstǑ pcrccntagc.Ǒ
"Congratulations,Ǒ comradcs,Ǒ forǑ winningǑ thcǑ
RcdǑ Flag.Ǒ WhatǑ isǑ itǑ youǑ produccǑ inǑ thisǑ dcpart-
mcnt!"Ǒ
"StcclǑcablcs.Ǒ ButǑwcǑhavcǑfulhllcdǑthcǑplanǑonlyǑ
toǑ ō0ŊŇ . "Ǒ
"ThcnǑwcǑarcǑinǑthcǑwrongǑdcpartmcnt,"ǑandǑthcyǑ
movcǑ onńǑ
ŦƉcǑ ncƽĘǑ ŵcƧađĘmcnƶǑ
LJ
ǕƾĵȞCCǮɄ CƖCCtIŷCɄ ơOtOIö.Ʉ
AtǑ 30%Ǒ ofǑ planncdǑ production.Ǒ ThcǑ dcpartmcntǑ
producingǑclcvatorǑcabinsǑworksǑatǑ ! 5%Ǒ ofǑplanncdǑ
production.Ǒ AndǑ soǑ itǑ gocsǑ on,Ǒ untilǑ atǑ lastǑ thcyǑ
sccmǑ toǑ havcǑ foundǑ thcǑ rightǑ dcpartmcnt.Ǒ
"WcǑ arcǑ continuouslyǑ ovcrfulſƖllingǑ thcǑ planǑ atǑ
Ō60%,Ǒ forǑ thcǑ grcatcrǑ gloryǑ ofǑ ourǑ bclovcdǑ partyǑ
andǑgovcrnmcnt! "ǑshoutsǑthcǑ forcmanǑ proudlyǑovcrǑ
thcǑ dinǑ ofǑthcǑworkshopǑ whcrcǑcvcrybodyǑ isǑbusilyǑ
workingǑ away.Ǒ
"Congratulations,Ǒ comradcslǑ WcǑarcǑ honorcdǑtoǑ
prcscntǑ thcǑ RcdǑ FlagǑ Award!Ǒ WhatǑ isǑ itǑ youǑ pro-
duccǑ hcrc!ĩǑ
"SignsǑrcadingǑLIEVATOR LUT LF LRDERÍ ¯
I CI Ʉ
L80p0lÌlÌcS
!nǑdcspcrationǑaboutǑthcǑhousingǑandǑfoodǑshort-
agc,Ǒ NovotnýǑ consuItsǑ aǑ gypsyǑ fortuncǑtcIIcr.Ǒ
"WhatǑ shaIIǑ !Ǒ doǑ toǑ rcIicvcǑ thcǑ ovcrcrowding!"Ǒ
"OpcnǑ thcǑfronticrsǑ toǑ thcǑWcst ! "Ǒ
"AndǑt oǑrcIicvcǑthcǑ foodǑ shortagc!"Ǒ
"CIoscǑthcmǑ toǑ thcǑEast! " Ǒ
VluS
ÿ
H chHng84 4 4
BrcDžhncvǑ invitcsǑ hisǑ mothcr,Ǒ whoǑ hasǑ ncvcrǑ IcftǑ
hcrǑ nativcǑviIIagcǑbcforc,Ǒ forǑaǑvisitǑtoǑthcǑKrcmIin.Ǒ
HcǑ showsǑ hcrǑhisǑstudy,Ǒ hisǑ ! 2-roomǑapartmcnt,Ǒ
hisǑ coIIcctionǑ ofǑ gcms,Ǒ thcǑ CadiIIacǑ givcnǑ himǑ byǑ
Nixon,Ǒ hisǑhvcǑothcrǑautomobiIcs,Ǒ hisǑdachaǑinǑthcǑ
country,Ǒ hcǑcaIIsǑoutǑthcǑguarĆǑinǑhcrǑhonorǑ - butǑ
shcǑdocsǑnotǑ sccmǑtoǑ bcǑimprcsscd.Ǒ
HcǑtakcsǑ hcrǑ toǑ hisǑ huntingǑ IodgcǑinǑhisǑ privatcǑ
pIanc,Ǒ butǑ shcǑ onIyǑgrowsǑ morcǑ ncrvous.Ǒ
"What'sǑ thcǑ mattcr,Ǒ mothcr!"Ǒ hcǑ hnaIIyǑ asks.Ǒ
"Arcn'tǑyouǑ proudǑ ofǑmc!"Ǒ
"OfǑcourscǑ !Ǒ am,Ǒ son,"Ǒ shcǑsays.Ǒ "!t'sǑ|ustǑthatǑ !Ǒ
can'tǑ hcIpǑ thinkingǑ. . . Ǒ WhatǑ ifǑ thcǑ RcdsǑ comcǑ
back!"Ǒ
¯ Í hcardlhìs]OkcaIlcrl IcIlLZcchOslOvakìa, butlhOu¿htít
wOrth ìncIudìn¿ ìn lhìs cOIIcctìOn.
YÌSÌ0nS
!Ǒ hcardǑ thcǑ followingǑ thrccǑ ¡okcsǑ onǑ scparatcǑ
occasions,Ǒ atǑ aǑ timcǑ whcnǑ Î VbU wasǑ stillǑ somcǑ ZU
ycarsǑ away.Ǒ
Praguc,Ǒ Î VbU.
CzcchoslovakiaǑhasǑbccnǑlibcratcd.Ǒ AǑ thanksgiv-
ingǑscrviccǑisǑ hcldǑinǑthcǑcathcdral.Ǒ ThcǑarchbishopǑ
prcachcsǑthcǑ scrmon.Ǒ
"FricndsǑ andǑ bclicvcrslǑ ThisǑ isǑ thcǑ timcǑ toǑ givcǑ
ourǑhcartfcltǑ thanksǑ toǑourǑ LordǑ andǑ SaviorǑ. . . Ǒ "Ǒ
ThcǑcongrcgationǑ¡umpsǑtoǑitsǑ fcctǑandǑ chantsǑ inǑ
unison,Ǒ clappingǑ thcirǑ handsǑ toǑ cachǑ wŻǑĴǑ
"LonglǑ LivclǑ JcsuslǑ ChristlǑ LonglǑ LivclǑ JcsuslǑ
ChristlǑ LongǑ . . . Ǒ "Ǒ
Šƫaguc,Ǒ Î YöÜ.Ʉ
CzcchoslovakiaǑ hasǑ bccnǑ libcratcd.Ǒ AnǑ cxilcdǑ
politicianǑ rcturnsǑ andǑ addrcsscsǑ thcǑ pcoplc.Ǒ
"MyǑ fricndsǑ andǑ fcllowǑ Czcchoslovaksl "Ǒ hcǑ
bcgins,Ǒ spcakingǑ CzcchǑ withǑ aǑ thickǑ AmcricanǑ
acccnt.Ǒ ŅǑ
ņǑSaysǑ oncǑ CzcchǑ toǑ anothcr.Ǒ "5Iushct, 1e¡tk, kck
on ¡Iokho ¿ovortl ¡o-cheshskt » . ."Ǒ *Ǒ
Praguc,Ǒ Î VbU.
"ThingsǑ wcrcǑ bcttcrǑ undcrǑ thcǑ Russians,Ǒ don'tǑ
youǑthink!"ǑsaysǑoncǑCzcchǑtoǑanothcrǑinǑMaoǑTscǑ
TungǑ Avcnuc.Ǒ
¯ Kussían IOr "Lístcn, JOc, hOw badIy hc spcaks Lzcch."
10ulÌSlS, b8 WHln80
AnȈ AmcricanȈ touristȈ ¿ocsȈ toȈ CĂcchoslovakia,Ȉ isȈ
killcdȈ inȈ aȈ carȈ crash,Ȉ andȈ ¿ocsȈ toȈ hcavcn.Ȉ ButȈ hcȈ
soonȈ tircsȈ ofȈ playin¿Ȉ thcȈ harpȈ andȈ hcarin¿Ȉ thcȈ
an¿clsȈ sin¿,Ȉ soȈ hcȈ asksȈ 5t.Ȉ FctcrȈ forȈ aȈ transfcrȈ toȈ
hcll.Ȉ HcȈfindsȈitȈnotȈvcryȈcomfortablc,Ȉ butȈmorcȈtoȈ
DIs DOVeDtDtODs tustes.
ButȈ hisȈ contcntmcntȈisȈ shortlivcd.Ȉ 5t.Ȉ FctcrȈtclcǾ
phoncsȈ thatȈ hcȈ wasȈ killcdȈ throu¿hȈ anȈ crrorȈ ofȈthcȈ
hcavcnlyȈ burcaucracy,Ȉ andȈ hcȈ mustȈ rcturnȈ toȈ
CĂcchoslovakia.Ȉ
HcȈ rctĀrns,Ȉ fallsȈ inȈ lovcȈ withȈ aȈ CĂcchȈ ¿irl,Ȉ mar-
rics,Ȉ dccidcsȈ toȈ stay,Ȉ andȈ dicsȈ20Ȉ ycarsȈ latcr.Ȉ A¿ain,Ȉ
hcȈ asksȈ 5t.Ȉ FctcrȈforȈaȈ transfcr.Ȉ ButȈ thisȈ timcȈ hcȈ isȈ
lcdȈ toȈ thcȈ torturcȈ chambcrsȈ andȈ findsȈ thatȈ hcllȈ isȈ
hcll.Ȉ HcȈphoncsȈ5t.ȈFctcrȈtoȈcomplainȈhowȈthcȈplaccȈ
hasȈ chan¿cd.Ȉ
"ŽtȈ hasȈ notȈ chan¿cd,"Ȉ 5t.Ȉ FctcrȈ informsȈ him.Ȉ
ĹWhcnȈ yoĀȈ wcrcȈthcrcȈlastȈ timc,Ȉ youȈwcrcȈthcrcȈonȈ
aȈ toĀristȈ visaķ "Ȉ
FclrBcckmdnn
was bOrn ìn lra¿uc, CzcchOs|Ovakìa, ìn l ºZ4, whcrc hc a|sO
Obtaìncd hìs lh. O and Or. 5c. dc¿rccs ìn l|cctrìca| ln¿ìnccr-
ìn¿. Hc wOrkcd IOr a rcscarch ìnstìtutc ƻœɄ ȂbļɄ CɁĽĨbƼǭƕƽȦđƌɄ
PC8ij0mȷɄOŔɄāCŴ0HC0ǬɄ 8HĴɄğ0C8m0ɄŵHl0ǔH8lŶOH8llȶɄknOwnì nthc
Iìc|d OI prObabì|ìty thcOry appIìcd tO c|cctrOma¿nctìc wavc
prOpa¿atìOn. ln I ºô3 hcwas ìnvìtcd tOthcLnìvcrsìtyOICO|O-
radOas a Vìsìtìn¿ lrOIcssOr, rcIuscd tOrcturn bchìnd thc lrOn
Curtaìnand staycd On as lrOIcssOr OIl|cctrìca| ln¿ìnccrìn¿.
lrOIcssOr Bcckmann has authOrcd mOrc than ô0 scìcntìIìc
papcrs and l3 bOOks, mOst|y On cIcctrOma¿nctìcs and prOb-
abì|ìty thcOry, but ìn thc car|y lº70's hc bccamc strOn¿|y ìn-
tcrcstcdìncncr¿yandìnthcdcIcnscOIscìcncc,whìchhasOItcn
bccOmcthctar¿ct OIthcthcnO-¿rOwth,antì-tcchnO|O¿ymOvc-
mcnt. Hc nOw pub|ìshcs thc mOnth|y ¬cccss !o !ncr¿} (scc
advcrtìscmcnts On IO||Owìn¿ pa¿cs].
lrOI. Bcckmannìsa lc||OwOIthc lnstìtutcOIL|cctrìca|and
L|cctrOnìcs Ln¿ìnccrs, a mcmbcr OIscvcra|Othcr prOIcssìOnaI
sOcìcIìcs, and a mcmbcr OIthc cdìtOrìa| Or advìsOry bOard OI
scvcra| Ircc markct¡Ourna|s and Or¿anìzatìOns. Hcìs|ìstcd ìn
¬mcricdn Acn O[5cicncc, Lcddcrs in!lcc!ronic:, dnd hho's
hho in ¬mcricd.
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LULTURAL ¼ATCHO NBW8IB17BR
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lOurth, cn|ar¿cd cdìlìOn.
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1hc Iascìnatìn¿ stOry OI thc cìrc|c ratìO IrOm prc-hìstOrìc tìmcs tO
thccOmputcra¿c, bylrOI. l. Bcckmann(LnìvcrsìlyOICO|OradO), an
cnthra||ìn¿, prOIusc|yì||ustralcd accOunl|Oadcdwìth hìslOrìca|ancc-
dOtcs and Oddìtics. .
"¬ purc dcli¿hl - slimuldlin¿, irrcvcrcnl o[ mdn} lon¿-dcccplcd
nolions. « . ¬ [dscindlin¿ slor} o[ humdn c_orls lo ddvdncc
knowlcd¿c inspilco[lhcbruldlizin¿prcoccupdlions wilh wdrdndlhc
rcli¿iouspcrscculion o[scholdrs. . . Lnlircl} o¸[bcdl, which¿ivcsilils
chdrm¨ -1Hl OlNVEKlO51
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