Teompa's Laws 1. God made you human; don’t turn yourself into a monkey. 2.

God made the world; the devil only had to seize it. 3. God only exists for those who believe in God. 4. God is called upon in curses more than He is in prayers. 5. Some worship that which others trample. 6. You like to overuse humor: you were weaned with hot peppers. 7. A joke is like dessert. Do you ever become upset when you have dessert? 8. Be a brave man: be afraid instead of being terrified. 9. Nobody fears the fearful. 10. The shadow of some is more awe-inspiring than their person… 11. Dark thoughts make for wakeful nights. 12. Unspeakable things deserve to be heard the most. 13. What did you achieve with this? You have the right of expression, but no one is listening! 14. When you are given the microphone, don’t stutter… 15. Newspapers censor the right of reply: as a reply! 16. Of two newspapers that lie, choose the one that does it better. 17. Not all readers are also well-read. 18. In order to write it is not enough to know how to write. 19. Criticism: I have never encountered a bad book title… 20. General culture is mistaken for… culture in general. 21. When you fail at being your own guinea pig, you become your own executioner. 22. As an untidy person, it is of no avail to tidy up often. 23. Time is not the same for those who wait and for those who are waited. 24. Don’t hurry, only run when you exercise. 25. Fear having too much spare time: you risk losing it all. 26. No matter how you forget that time passes, it does not forget you. 27. The search of lost time, a waste of time… 28. You have no time for something, but to lose, your entire lifetime… 29. Dawdling or walking the dog is the same thing. 30. You deserve your destiny if you do nothing to change it! 31. Some moments are relived more intensely than they were lived in their own time.

32. Life changes you more than you change yourself. 33. Life: a wound that closes when your eyes close. 34. Life does not belong to you, which is why at some point you lose it. 35. Life tells you how to life, and death tells you how much. 36. Life has some logic, but no one is born a logician. 37. Life: you experiment and then live the consequences of the experiences. 38. Life is not every day, life is the occasions! 39. Life gives no free lessons! 40. Life alone prepares you for life. 41. You get most things in the rerun. 42. You are convicted to live your own life! 43. Nevertheless, your parents did not ask for your permission to give you life… 44. The road is oftentimes so narrow, that you feel the need to walk two paths. 45. If you shunned evil all the time, than you would run your entire life. 46. Announcement: lost life, note to the finder, I was unhappy! 47. It is a sin to live without sinning. 48. Seize the moment, a dying person ponders. 49. Live more than just biologically! 50. Some people live, the others help some people to live. 51. He has set himself to change his life radically: he wants to commit suicide… 52. Obstacles are easiest to aim for. 53. Feelings are trapped by matter. 54. Kiddo, I declare war, I want to conquer you. 55. You are the only girl that I would cheat on the girl in my dreams with. 56. I love you: this is no declaration of love, it is wooden language. 57. How to tell a person nicely that you love them: don’t lie to them. 58. Don’t search for happiness in love: if there were love, there would no longer be lovers. 59. Lovers argue so rarely because they are only together until they make love. 60. Desires hurt, lack of desires hurts. 61. Love is different from the desire to love. 62. Love does not mean happiness, it means as little unhappiness as possible… 63. Love – a feeling that does not love just anybody. 64. It is one thing to love, and another to also be loved.

65. When someone doesn’t leave you alone, baffle them! 66. When you feel, let your reason be active. 67. The heart cannot hold before two things: love and the final beat. 68. Everybody searches for the ideal, even after engagement. 69. Your ideal in love belongs to another. 70. Happiness is not enough for man. 71. The heart should be disposable! 72. Beautiful women are reserved by the rich. 73. If you use your money to conquer love, save some for divorce. 74. The reward of most love stories consists of suffering and oblivion. 75. Your half or your halves?! 76. It is easier to buy a woman than it is to conquer her. 77. Hate every woman, thinking that at one point you may have to love her. 78. Distance draws you closer to your loved ones. 79. Unhappy? Not at all, in pursuit of happiness. 80. Only the selfish have who to live for… 81. Loneliness brings about unhappiness, and unhappiness brings about loneliness. 82. When you run away from loneliness, you risk to find it easier. 83. You search for happiness and you can only find it in others… 84. People who play life are the happiest. 85. No dream is happy because it is only a dream. 86. No dreaming outside of sleep! 87. Why cry when you can laugh? Why laugh when you can cry with happiness? 88. The fun that you don’t take part in costs you the most. 89. It is not at all natural to fight against nature. 90. Better nothing than little nothings. 91. It is better to have a million-dollar idea than to have a million ideas. 92. Rather than indifference, hatred! 93. People with o heart put too much heart into something and they were left without it… 94. You have to do the most when there is nothing left to do. 95. Your purpose in life is to search for it… and if you find it in time to apply it. 96. The more you prepare, the more surprised you will be. 97. There is an explanation, especially where you can’t find it.

98. Try! The most you can get is a rejection. 99. When you search a little you find, when you keep looking you find nothing. 100. 101. 102. 103. 104. 105. 106. 107. 108. 109. 110. 111. 112. 113. 114. 115. 116. 117. 118. 119. 120. 121. 122. 123. 124. 125. 126. 127. 128. 129. When you have several solutions it is hard to choose the right one. Most searches end up in a new search. You have every thing, but not everything. Why would you run away from men, when you, in your turn, are also a man? Trust lies most easily. It is easier to learn what you think than what you learn. When there is a pit before you, the step back will save you. One step back makes you lose your way. Exterminate the hopes that prove to be illusions. A man with hopes, that is an armed man. If you have lost your optimism, you have nothing left to lose. You are an optimistic if you try to laugh and you find that you are crying. You are only allowed to cry after you have exhausted all your resources to laugh. Before bad people there is no alternative: be like them! It is not enough to be good, what matters is to pull through! Consider yourself the best… when you are alone. You are always right… when you approve the others. You feel guilty, even though you did not do anything… but you should have. The actions not taken may have serious consequences. Sometimes the only guilt is that you exist and somebody trips over you. Forgive and forget, don’t forget to forgive! If you forget a lot, it means you knew a lot. The positive effects of forgetting outnumber the negative ones. Serious problems are solved by merely adjusting to them. You are doing yourself a tremendous disservice by waiting for the benevolence of You deal with hardship better than you deal with simple things. The danger you take note of is a danger momentarily removed. When you want to do evil, it is better not to want anything. Make peace with the enemy before he makes peace with you. You can tell more things to a deaf man than you can tell an obnoxious one.

those around you.

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Many people, if they were not drunks, would not be anything. An inebriated person is capable of anything. Usually, a vice only disappears with its possessor. Cigarettes only part with smokers… as snipes. You wouldn’t be honest if you said you were… Not everything you say was said by you… Brag before somebody as if you apologized to them. Many people praise their own hidden qualities, but they omit to say that they cannot You can regain your balance most easily after sharp blows. Moral force surpasses physical force. You are only strong after you have defeated your weaknesses! Many selfless people err so we can learn our lesson. The biggest help you can get is when you help yourself. The things you don’t use are as if you didn’t have them. Those who are avaricious with themselves are more condemnable than those who You don’t feel useful by creating problems for those around you. Those who create problems forget to offer the solution as well. The smart persons know what they don’t know, and the fool don’t even know what You need to know something to pretend that you do know. The fool does best what he is given to do. The richness of the few gives birth to the poverty of the many. Many words fill the bushel of the person in the Parliament. The effort to survive is bigger that the effort to live well. He who it is worked for gains more than the one who works. What is preferable: to gain dishonestly or to lose honestly? After all these centuries, slavery has been abolished, but labor hasn’t. Work for yourself or work no more! Do not obey anybody, be your own boss! When the masters lead a dog’s life, how do dogs live? How are you? The question is not how I am, but what do I do?

bring them to view.

they do know.

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You know best what you have to do. If you fear competition you can stop considering yourself a competitor. The rule of profit: don’t save money, invest it. The law of performance: Be the best on a square micron! If you want more, you have to be equally able. Ask yourself for the impossible! That way you may manage to achieve the one As an artist, let your inspiration work! It will do better than yourself. At wartime, death is more alive than ever. True history classes are held during recess. Blessed are the peoples who write their own history! Only when something hurts will you know that you have that thing. It is good if your head hurts. It is proof that you have it. Treatment without medication: time. Die on time: before being useless! Don’t die when you have had enough of life, but when life has had enough of you. At the end of an uncertain life, sure death awaits you. Why would you fear death, when you know you cannot get rid of it anyway? Don’t fear dying, fear dying in vain. You don’t need to die to realize that you are mortal. Before death, the only solution is… registration of time of death. After death, the cross takes the place of the ID card. Night after night you practice for the eternal sleep. Do you criticize death? After all, it is only doing its duty. Big dilemma: you do not want to live, but you do not want to die either. Suicide is a solution for those without solutions. Search for death… to choke it! Death is in the passive mode, you do not die, but are killed. You have to see death as a reward. No human being escapes passing away. If you fall asleep behind the wheel, one moment is enough to wake up… in the other Everything – can be both a lot and a little.

thousandth part of what you proposed.

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When everything is lost, there is one thing you can still do: step aside! Give up giving up! Anything is permitted for the sake of experience. Freedom – the possibility to do even what you cannot do. There is no liberty to not be responsible for acts of libertinism. Life and liberty are inseparable. Successful motto: “I manage to get from life exactly what I wish for!” Think positive and the results shall also be positive! Count yourself among the figurants only if the situation calls for it! Don’t drown in shallow waters! You will never have the chance to swim out in the Everything so far has only been experience. Start living! Rather than doing one thing without thinking, it is better to think without doing. The best thing in life was when you didn’t do anything. Do not disturb! You have one extra chance not to be disturbed. You only need one law, that of common sense. The most observed law is that of “I’ll do what I want!” Do what you want when you know what you do. Learn the exceptions to the rule. They will be more useful. Are the laws that change not good enough? It is only natural that laws have mistakes: they are man-made. To err is human, to admit your mistake is even more human. If you err once you are truly sorry, but if you are always guilty you feel as if you I like to believe that the law is also made for those who make it. The law is for commoners, for all the rest it is a haggle. If you no longer like your shoes, change their shoelaces. There is no word to designate that which does not exist.

open sea.

weren’t.

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