MODERN FAMILY

"Election Night"
Written by
Nathan Hartman
NATHAN HARTMAN
260-692-2057
nathan@nathanhartman.com
nathanhartman.com
MODERN FAMILY
"ELECTION NIGHT"
CAST
JAY PRITCHETT...........................................ED O'NEILL
GLORIA PRITCHETT.....................................SOFIA VERGARA
PHIL DUNPHY.............................................TY BURRELL
CLAIRE DUNPHY..........................................JULIE BOWEN
MITCHELL PRITCHETT............................JESSE TYLER FERGUSON
CAMERON...........................................ERIC STONESTREET
HALEY DUNPHY..........................................SARAH HYLAND
ALEX DUNPHY...........................................ARIEL WINTER
LUKE DUNPHY............................................NOLAN GOULD
MANNY DELGADO.......................................RICO RODRIQUEZ
BABY LILY................................ELLAN HILLER/JADEN HILLER
GUEST CAST
DYLAN...................................................REID EWING
MRS. CLARK..............................................
TYLER PHILLIPS..........................................
SARAH HUANG.............................................
SECURITY GUARD..........................................
DRIVER..................................................
ii.
MODERN FAMILY
"ELECTION NIGHT"
SETS
INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - FOYER
INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - KITCHEN
INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM
INT. PRITCHETT HOUSE - LIVING ROOM
INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY
INT. SCHOOL - AUDITORIUM
INT. SCHOOL - AUDITORIUM STAGE
INT. SCHOOL - GYMNASIUM
INT. GROCERY STORE - PRODUCE AISLE
INT. MITCHELL'S CAR
INT. JAY'S CAR
INT. PARKING GARAGE - GROUND FLOOR
INT. PARKING GARAGE - BASEMENT
INT. MITCHELL AND CAM'S CONDO - LIVING ROOM
INT. MITCHELL AND CAM'S CONDO - KITCHEN
EXT. SCHOOL - PARKING LOT
iii.
ACT 1
INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DUSK
PHIL and MITCHELL hang a party banner, reading “WAY TO GO
MANNY!” as CAM holds LILY.
CAM
Okay, to the left a little, but not
too far.
Phil and Mitchell move the banner to the left.
CAM (CONT’D)
No. Too far.
MITCHELL
How far is too far?
CAM
Right where you are is too far.
ALEX enters and exits to the...
FOYER
...where GLORIA is helping MANNY put on a suit coat.
ALEX
(to Manny)
Looking good.
MANNY
Thanks.
Alex exits to the back room as CLAIRE comes from the kitchen.
CLAIRE
(yelling up the stairs)
Luke! Come on buddy, you’re going
to be late.
LUKE rushes out of his room half-dressed.
LUKE
Mom, I can’t tie my tie.
CLAIRE
It’s a clip-on sweetie.
LUKE
Oh.
Luke goes back to his room as HALEY, carrying her purse,
passes him and heads down the stairs.
HALEY
Mom, do we have any more of my
allergy pills?
CLAIRE
You’re all out?
Haley sneezes.
CLAIRE (CONT’D)
Apparently. Okay, You can use some
of mine till I get to the store.
Purse, side pocket.
(up the stairs)
Come on Luke!
GLORIA
Luke! Vamonos!
LUKE (O.S.)
Vamo-what?
Claire heads up the stairs as Haley enters the...
KITCHEN
...where JAY is sampling a cheese platter sitting out on the
breakfast bar.
HALEY
I thought we weren’t supposed to
eat until...
JAY
(mouth full)
--I don’t know what you’re talking
about.
HALEY
Mom’s purse?
JAY
Table.
Haley moves to the kitchen table and opens the left side
pocket of Claire’s purse, pulling out a sleeve of pills. She
sneezes again, grabs a pill, and puts the rest in her purse.
As Haley moves to the water facet, Jay heads into the...
2.
LIVING ROOM
...where Cam continues to direct Mitchell and Phil with the
banner.
CAM
Okay, that’s good! Leave it there!
JAY
(reading banner)
“Way to go Manny.” What if Luke
wins?
CAM
Phil if you could.
Phil moves to the word “MANNY” on the banner and pulls it
off, revealing Luke’s name underneath- the sign now reading,
“WAY TO GO LUKE!”
JAY
And if both of them lose?
Cam nods and Mitchell moves to the word “GO.” He pulls it off
and reveals the word “TRY”, as Phil pulls off “LUKE” to
reveal the word “GUYS”- the sign now reading, “WAY TO TRY
GUYS!”
JAY (CONT’D)
Well, as long as all our bases are
covered.
Claire and Luke, now in his suit, come down the stairs as
Phil, Cam, Jay, and Mitchell move to the foyer to meet them.
PHIL
(to Luke)
Hey look at you!
CLAIRE
Quite a stud huh?
PHIL
Like father like son.
LUKE
I thought you said I took after
Mom?
PHIL
It depends on what we’re talking
about.
3.
CLAIRE
(to Phil)
Now, Mitchell, Alex, and Haley are
going to help Gloria finish up with
things here while I take Luke and
Manny to the school. Are you still
going to the store with Dad and
Cam?
PHIL
I think so.
Haley approaches.
HALEY
I’m going too.
PHIL
Some Dad time. Nice.
HALEY
I need the new Cosmo.
PHIL
Ah.
JAY
(to Manny)
You all ready?
MANNY
Should I shave? I don’t want to
come off looking like Nixon versus
Kennedy at this thing.
JAY
I think peach fuzz is the least of
your problems.
Manny looks over at Luke, who’s all smiles.
CLAIRE (V.O.)
Yes, Luke and Manny are running for
student council president.
4.
PHIL AND CLAIRE INTERVIEW
CLAIRE
Apparently, every year the school
holds this big election night
program where the choir and band
play patriotic songs, the
candidates give these big speeches
and then all the students vote. It
should be...interesting.
PHIL
Tons-o-fun.
JAY AND GLORIA INTERVIEW
GLORIA
My Manny has been very very excited
by all this. He’s been campaigning
for weeks. Really putting in all
his Colombian passion!
JAY
And his computer skills.
Jay unrolls a campaign poster, which shows Manny and his name
in the design of Shepard Fairey’s Obama “Hope” posters.
PHIL AND CLAIRE INTERVIEW
PHIL
Well, with Luke...we’re not really
sure why he’s decided to campaign.
INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - KITCHEN - WEEKS EARLIER
Claire is busy cooking as Luke sits at the breakfast bar.
CLAIRE
I’m sorry what were you saying
sweetheart?
LUKE
I can either try out for the track
team or run for student council.
CLAIRE
(barely paying attention)
Oh, definitely run
honey...definitely.
Luke gives a confused look.
5.
PHIL AND CLAIRE INTERVIEW
CLAIRE
(sincere)
Yeah...no idea at all.
MAIN TITLES
INT. SCHOOL - HALLWAY - LATER
Election posters of Manny, Luke, and SARAH HUANG, an Asian
girl around the boys’ age, sit on stands by the entrance to
the auditorium. Patriotic decorations fill the hall.
Luke, Manny, and Claire enter.
CLAIRE
(to Luke)
Now you’re sure you don’t want to
go over your speech with me at
least once?
LUKE
Don’t worry Mom. Dad gave me some
tips. I’ll be fine.
Claire looks around at the decorations.
CLAIRE
Wow. They really go all out for
this.
Claire eyes the poster of Sarah.
CLAIRE (CONT’D)
(to Manny)
She got a chance?
MANNY
She’ll attract the girls, but we’ll
split the minority vote.
Several CLASSMATES walk up to Luke, lead by TYLER PHILLIPS.
TYLER
Hey man!
LUKE
Hey Tyler.
They perform an elaborate handshake.
TYLER
You ready to win tonight?
6.
LUKE
You bet.
Tyler waves to Claire.
TYLER
Mrs. D!
CLAIRE
Tyler.
Tyler points to Manny but hesitates. Manny points to his own
poster.
TYLER
Right! Manny. Good luck tonight.
MANNY
(deflated)
Thanks.
Tyler points to Luke.
TYLER
And an early congrats to you!
Luke and Tyler perform the handshake once more as Claire
looks to a now anxious Manny.
CLAIRE (V.O.)
Who did I think would win?
CLAIRE INTERVIEW
CLAIRE
Well, Manny is smart, organized, a
good communicator and certainly
mature for his age, but Luke is
popular...so...
Claire’s eyes shift away from the camera.
INT. DUNPHY HOUSE - KITCHEN - LATER
Alex stands at the breakfast bar beside an empty vegetable
tray while Lily sits in a high chair near by. Mitchell enters
carrying a bag of carrots and a jar of olives.
MITCHELL
Okay, if you’ll take care of the
carrots, I’ll put out the olives.
ALEX
Gotcha.
7.
Alex opens the carrots and begins pouring them into the tray.
Mitchell twists the olive jar but it won’t budge. He tries
again, harder this time- nothing.
ALEX (CONT’D)
Do you need some help?
MITCHELL
What? No, I got it. It’s just a
tad...stuck.
He puts all his strength against it- nothing.
ALEX
Why don’t you give Lily a try?
Mitchell shoots Alex a glare
Gloria enters, her cell phone to her ear.
GLORIA
(into cell)
Yes, I’ll need both the red and
green peppers if I’m going to make
the salsa. It’s how my family has
always made it.
INT. GROCERY STORE - PRODUCE AISLE - CONTINUOUS
Jay, on his cell phone, stands by Cam who looks at a stack of
cucumbers. Phil and Haley peruse in the background with a
shopping cart.
JAY
(into cell)
Well, I’m telling you they’re out
of red. They’ve got yellow though.
INTERCUT - JAY AND GLORIA’S TELEPHONE CONVERSATION
GLORIA
But yellow is not red.
JAY
So I’ve been told.
GLORIA
Fine. I suppose yellow will do.
Gloria moves to Mitchell, still struggling with the jar, and
takes it from him. She pops the jar lid off with ease and
hands it back to a dumbfounded Mitchell.
8.
JAY
Alright then, we’ll see you when we
get to the school. Call if you need
anything else.
GLORIA
I will.
Gloria makes a kissing sound and closes her cell.
INT. GROCERY STORE - CONTINUOUS
Jay closes his phone as Cam approaches with two cucumbers.
CAM
Do you think these are ripe enough
for the salad?
JAY
I guess so.
Cam squeezes one and lets out a sigh.
CAM
I just don’t know. Here.
(offers cucumber to Jay)
Give it a squeeze. Whatdaya think?
Jay looks at the cucumber in Cam’s hand but just shakes his
head and walks away.
CAM (CONT’D)
What?
Cam follows Jay as Phil, pushing the shopping cart, and
Haley, reading her new Cosmo, move past a food sample tray.
PHIL
Hey, check it out. Artichoke dip!
HALEY
(still reading)
I thought you didn’t like
artichokes.
PHIL
What? Where’d ya hear a thing like
that?
HALEY
Well, that’s why Mom never buys
any.
Phil takes a cracker with dip on it from the sample tray.
9.
PHIL
Well, that’s just crazy talk.
Phil eats the cracker and Haley looks up from her Cosmo.
Phil’s face begins to grimace but he holds it together,
giving a thumbs up.
Haley’s PHONE RINGS and she puts it to her ear.
HALEY
(in phone)
Hey you! Yeah, I can talk. Just a
sec.
Haley moves into another aisle and Phil spits the rest of the
cracker into the sample’s trash can.
PHIL
Oh, she was right. She was right!
Phil sticks his tongue out, trying to get rid of the taste.
He pulls a pack of gum from his pocket, but finds it empty.
Unsure of what to do, he spies Haley’s purse in the shopping
cart and, after making sure the coast is clear, opens it, and
fishes around.
Suddenly, he stops, his hand touching something inside the
purse. Slowly he brings the object out and his eyes go wide
as he stares at Haley’s “allergy medication,” which is
actually...
PHIL (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Birth control pills.
PHIL INTERVIEW
PHIL
Did I know why my daughter had
them? No. Did I want to? Yes...and
no. Look, on one hand, I thought at
least she’s taking precautions,
but, on the other, just because
you’re being careful doesn’t mean
you won’t end up with a little
Haley...baby!...a little baby.
BACK TO SCENE
Phil puts the pills quickly back into Haley’s purse and
closes it. Haley walks up from behind, looking at her phone.
Phil turns her way and jumps.
10.
PHIL
I didn’t see anything!
HALEY
What?
PHIL
Nothing! I didn’t...what’s up?
HALEY
Dylan called. Could I hang out with
him instead of going to this
election thing tonight?
PHIL
NO! You...you should be there for
your brother...it’s safer.
Haley gives Phil a look, but starts texting and walks away.
INT. SCHOOL - AUDITORIUM - LATER
Students and their parents file in as Claire takes a program
from an USHER and sits in an empty row of seats.
In front of the stage, the school band plays patriotic songs.
The stage itself is shrouded in a curtain.
INT. SCHOOL - AUDITORIUM STAGE - CONTINUOUS
Behind the curtain, at stage right, the school choir prepares
for the show.
A podium is center and Manny and Luke sit behind it.
Manny looks over at Luke and nods. Luke smiles back. Manny
pulls a small stack of speech cards from his coat pocket and
begins to review.
Luke pulls a Game Boy from his pocket and turns it on to
Manny’s chagrin.
SARAH HUANG enters and sits next to Manny.
MANNY
Hey Sarah.
SARAH
(little enthusiasm)
Hey.
MANNY
You ready for this?
11.
Sarah shrugs.
SARAH
Kind of a done deal isn’t it?
MANNY
What do you mean?
Sarah points to Luke, who’s caught up in his Game Boy.
SARAH
I mean him. He’s sort of already
got this thing wrapped up.
MANNY
Oh, I don’t know about that.
TYLER (O.S.)
(from in the auditorium)
Yeah Luke! Woohoo!
Luke’s friends cheer.
SARAH
We might as well cast our votes for
the favored.
MANNY
What?
Sarah shrugs again.
SARAH
If you can’t beat’em...
Luke’s GAME BOY plays VICTORY MUSIC as he passes a level.
LUKE
Yes!
Manny looks more distraught than ever.
INT. MITCHELL’S CAR - EVENING - LATER
Mitchell drives as Gloria sits in the passenger seat and Alex
and Lily ride in the back.
Gloria eyes a street sign as they pass it.
GLORIA
I think that was your turn.
12.
MITCHELL
(slightly agitated)
I’m taking 3B not 2A.
GLORIA
Well, 2A is faster.
MITCHELL
I don’t think so.
GLORIA
(to herself in SPANISH)
Well, you certainly think wrong.
MITCHELL
What was that?
GLORIA
Nothing.
Silence fills the air as tension grows.
POP! The car’s passenger side back tire blows out!
MITCHELL
Oh God!
GLORIA
(in Spanish)
To the side of the road! To the
side of the road!
MITCHELL
I don’t speak Spanish!
GLORIA
(in English)
To the side of the road!
Mitchell pulls the car to the side of the road.
ALEX
What was that?
Gloria rolls down her window, leans out, and sees the flat
back tire.
END OF ACT 1
13.
ACT 2
INT. SCHOOL - AUDITORIUM - LATER
As the auditorium fills, Claire sits impatiently, saving her
row of empty seats.
A FAMILY moves towards the row but Claire stops them.
CLAIRE
Sorry. They’re taken.
The family moves on as Claire takes out her cell phone.
INT. PARKING GARAGE - GROUND FLOOR - CONTINUOUS
Phil, Haley, Jay, and Cam enter from the grocery store exit,
all carrying bags of food.
Cam pulls a yellow pepper from his bag and looks at it.
CAM
Yellow peppers?
JAY
Yes, yellow peppers.
Haley sneezes.
HALEY
Which floor are we on?
PHIL
We’re in the basement.
(pointing)
There’s the elevator.
Phil leads the group as his phone rings. He answers it.
INTERCUT - PHIL AND CLAIRE’S TELEPHONE CONVERSATION
PHIL
Hey you.
CLAIRE
Phil. Where are you?
The gang approach the elevator and Jay hits the call button.
PHIL
Running a little behind.
CLAIRE
A little?
14.
PHIL
I got caught up in the cereal aisle
again.
CLAIRE
Fine, but hurry up. I can’t hold
these seats forever by myself.
The elevator opens and the gang enters.
PHIL
Wait, where’s Mitchell and Gloria?
CLAIRE
I don’t know. They should have been
here by now.
The elevator doors close and it begins to descend.
PHIL
Weird. Oh b.t.w., when I see you,
there is something really important
we need to talk ab...Claire?
Phil looks at his phone.
INT. SCHOOL - AUDITORIUM - CONTINUOUS
Claire looks at her phone and then puts it back to her ear.
CLAIRE
Phil?
INT. PARKING GARAGE - ELEVATOR - CONTINUOUS
Phil taps his phone.
JAY
What is it?
PHIL
Claire’s call dropped. Dag gummit,
today just isn’t my...
The elevator suddenly shakes and stops!
PHIL (CONT’D)
...day.
EXT. MITCHELL’S CAR - SIDE OF THE ROAD - CONTINUOUS
Mitchell rolls his spare tire from the trunk of his car to
the flat.
15.
Gloria leans out of her passenger side window, watching.
Alex pokes her head out of her window, cell phone in hand.
ALEX
It’s my Mom. She wants to know how
long we’re going to be.
MITCHELL
Tell her we’ll be back on the road
in a minute. This won’t take long.
Alex puts the phone to her ear and moves back into the car.
ALEX
(into cell)
Mom, you still there?
GLORIA
Are you sure you don’t want any
help?
MITCHELL
No, I’ve got it.
GLORIA
But I really think you should...
MITCHELL
--I’ve got it Gloria...I’ve got it.
GLORIA
I don’t think you’ve got it.
Gloria points to the spare tire as it rolls backwards towards
the road’s side ditch.
MITCHELL
Oh God!
Mitchell runs after it but the spare falls down the ditch and
disappears into a forest of unkempt bushes.
Gloria isn’t amused.
INT. SCHOOL - AUDITORIUM STAGE - MOMENTS LATER
With the stage curtain now open, the school choir finishes
“America the Beautiful” and the audience claps.
Sarah, Manny, and Luke are still in their seats as MRS.
CLARK, 45, walks to the microphone.
16.
MRS. CLARK
Thank you all for coming. As you
know, tonight the students of this
wonderful school will be practicing
democracy at its finest and we
thank you, the parents and family,
for joining us on this special
occasion.
Mrs. Clark begins a thankful clap and the audience joins in.
Claire looks at all the empty seats around her and sighs.
INT. PARKING GARAGE - ELEVATOR - LATER
Phil, Haley, and Cam stand nervously, their groceries now on
the ground, as Jay hits the 2nd floor button several times.
JAY
Nothin...I’m getting nothin.
Cam begins to wheeze.
CAM
Are you saying we’re stuck in here?
HALEY
Are you okay?
CAM
Oh, I just get a little panicky in
elevators.
Phil looks again at his phone.
PHIL
Is anybody getting a signal?
Jay, Haley, and Cam take out their phones and hold them out.
JAY
Nope.
CAM
No.
HALEY
No...hey wait...
Everyone looks at Haley. She sighs and closes her phone.
HALEY (CONT’D)
...no...lost it.
17.
CAM
Oh boy...
Cam’s wheezing grows louder. Haley touches his arm.
HALEY
I wouldn’t worry Uncle Cam. These
things are super safe.
PHIL
(to Haley)
But just because something’s safe
doesn’t mean there aren’t
accidents.
CAM
What!
JAY
Oh for Pete’s sake.
HALEY
Dad!
PHIL
I’m just saying that, even if
something’s guaranteed to protect
you, there are times where things
go wrong and you end up with
accidents...well not
accidents...gifts. But that gift
will change your life forever and
you should really be ready for
something like that.
Everyone stares at Phil.
JAY
What the hell are you talking
about?
The elevator shakes once more.
CAM
We are all going to die.
Cam’s wheezing grows to a small panic.
PHIL
Cam, is there anything we can do?
18.
CAM
(between gasps)
Sometimes Mitchell...rubs my
back...when I’m stressed.
(to Jay)
Would you mind?
JAY
What?
PHIL
He asked if you could...
JAY
--I heard what he asked.
Jay reluctantly begins rubbing Cam’s back.
Cam closes his eyes and lets out a long breath.
CAM
Oh...that’s better.
INT. SCHOOL - AUDITORIUM STAGE - LATER
Manny is now at the podium, with a projector clicker in hand.
A powerpoint presentation runs beside him on a screen.
The audience looks bored.
MANNY
And so, as you can see by my
presentation, I am instilled with
the qualities one must have as
student council president. A
willingness to listen to the common
student, a love of school spirit,
and most of all a discernment on
what kids would like to eat for
lunch in the cafeteria. Again,
thank you for your time and may God
bless America.
The audience gives a mild but good willed applause and Claire
joins in, stopping briefly to yawn.
Mrs. Clark approaches the podium.
MRS. CLARK
Thank you Manny Delgado. Alright,
we have one more speech tonight and
then the students will file into
the gymnasium to cast their
ballots.
19.
(MORE)
Now, as our last candidate for
student council president, please
give a warm welcome to Luke Dunphy!
The audience applauds loudly as Luke approaches the podium.
PHIL INTERVIEW
PHIL
When I talked to Luke about his
speech, I gave him two tips- keep
it short and leave them wanting
more.
INT. SCHOOL - AUDITORIUM STAGE - CONTINUOUS
Luke clears his throat at the podium.
LUKE
Vote for me.
Luke steps back from the podium and puts his hands up in
victory signs ala Nixon.
The audience sits stunned. Claire’s mortified.
Suddenly the students in the crowd burst out in huge
applause.
Luke puts his hands down and smiles to the crowd as Manny
looks over at Sarah. She simply shrugs.
Manny drops his head and sighs.
END OF ACT 2
20.
MRS. CLARK (CONT'D)
ACT 3
EXT. MITCHELL’S CAR - SIDE OF THE ROAD - LATER
Mitchell, now covered in dirt and tree leaves, drops the tire
back down beside the car.
GLORIA
What took you so long?
MITCHELL
(breathless)
I was trying...to avoid...being
bitten.
ALEX
Bitten?
MITCHELL
There was a raccoon down there.
Least I think it was a raccoon.
Mitchell puts his hands on his knees and takes a breath.
GLORIA
Well, what are you waiting for?
We’re going to miss everything!
MITCHELL
I just need a minute.
GLORIA
We are out of minutes!
Gloria opens her car door and walks towards the flat.
GLORIA (CONT’D)
Out of the way!
Mitchell moves out of Gloria’s path and she walks past the
flat, heading to the other back tire, facing the road.
GLORIA (CONT’D)
Now, let’s see if we can’t get this
thing fixed.
MITCHELL
That’s the wrong tire.
GLORIA
I know.
Gloria bends over looking at the other back tire, really
sticking out her rear.
21.
Suddenly a truck going by screeches to a halt and backs up to
Mitchell’s car. The DRIVER, a cowboy in his 40’s, rolls down
his window.
DRIVER
Do you need any help ma’am?
Gloria grins at Mitchell, who gives her an exhausted glare.
INT. PARKING GARAGE - ELEVATOR - LATER
Phil, Haley, Jay, and Cam sit on the floor of the elevator,
tired and helpless.
Haley sneezes. Cam offers her a hanky from his pocket.
HALEY
Thanks.
Phil holds his cell phone up in the air and shakes it.
JAY
What are you doing?
PHIL
I read somewhere that if you shake
your phone you can get a better
signal.
JAY
Do you even hear the words that
you’re saying?
Suddenly, Haley’s PHONE BEEPS.
HALEY
Oh my god.
Haley grabs her phone from her purse and opens it.
HALEY (CONT’D)
One bar!
CAM
Don’t lose it!
Everyone jumps up and Haley holds her phone out into the air.
HALEY
I still got it!
PHIL
Good!
22.
HALEY
It’s gone...it’s back!
PHIL
Get to higher ground!
Phil motions to Jay and they help Haley up so she can spread
her feet across the elevator’s side railings, putting her
phone all the way to the elevator’s ceiling. As she moves up,
she drops her purse to the floor and a few items spill out.
CAM
Still got it?
HALEY
I...no, no, no, no, no!
Haley looks down at the others.
HALEY (CONT’D)
It’s gone.
The elevator fills with silent disappointment.
Jay helps Haley down as Phil picks up her purse and the
dropped items.
PHIL
Some stuff fell out.
HALEY
Thanks.
Haley takes the purse and puts the spilled stuff back in. A
curious looks crosses her face.
HALEY (CONT’D)
Where is my...
Haley looks to the floor and sees the birth control.
HALEY (CONT’D)
There it is.
Haley picks up the pills and grins.
HALEY (CONT’D)
(to Phil)
Wouldn’t want to lose these.
Phil’s mouth drops open.
PHIL
Are you kidding me!
23.
HALEY
What?
Cam and Jay look at each other, both confused.
PHIL
How can you be so okay with
just...just waving them around like
that?
HALEY
Wait, what? The pills?
PHIL
Yes! The...pills.
HALEY
Well, what’s the big deal?
Everybody takes them. Uncle Cam
does.
PHIL
Well, that’s a choice he’s made,
albeit a slightly unnecessary one,
but he’s at an age he can make
choices like that.
CAM
Wait, what choices am I making?
HALEY
(to Phil)
Are you saying I can’t make
choices?!
PHIL
Not these kind!
HALEY
What’s the big deal? Mom’s the one
that gave them to me in the first
place!
PHIL
Now I know that’s got to be a lie.
HALEY
What!
JAY
Now, hold on a minute...
Haley holds out the pills.
24.
HALEY
(to Phil)
--Do you realize what would happen
if I didn’t take these? I’d swell
all up.
PHIL
That is sort of what happens!
HALEY
And I’d start sneezing all over the
place!
PHIL
Wait, what?
HALEY
And my nose would start to run
and...
PHIL
Wait, wait...what do you mean Mom
gave those to you?
HALEY
I was out of my allergy pills so
she gave the ones from her purse.
PHIL
Which pocket?
HALEY
What?
PHIL
Which pocket in her purse!
HALEY
The side pocket!
PHIL
Which side pocket?!
HALEY
The left! The left side pocket!
Phil grows quiet for a long moment.
PHIL
Well...that explains that.
JAY
Explains what?
25.
HALEY
Yeah, what kind of pills did you
think these...oh god.
JAY
Oh god.
CAM
Oh god.
Haley drops the pills.
HALEY
They are not!
Phil winces but says nothing.
HALEY (CONT’D)
And you thought I was...oh my
god!!! I can’t believe you would...
INT. PARKING GARAGE - BASEMENT - CONTINUOUS
A SECURITY GUARD walks past the elevator and hears Haley’s
muffled yelling.
SECURITY GUARD
What the...
The guard approaches the elevator.
INT. SCHOOL - GYMNASIUM - LATER
The students stand in lines as they wait to vote.
Luke sits on the sidelines, watching the activity.
Manny approaches.
MANNY
Luke.
LUKE
Hey.
Manny holds out his hand.
MANNY
Congratulations.
LUKE
I won?
26.
MANNY
Not yet, but it sure looks like its
going to be the case.
LUKE
Oh...
Luke shakes Manny’s hand and then Manny sits down beside him.
MANNY
You mind if I ask you a question?
LUKE
Sure.
MANNY
Why did you run in the first place?
LUKE
I don’t know, sounded fun.
MANNY
Fun...ah...
LUKE
How about you?
Manny shrugs.
MANNY
Wanted to make a difference I
guess. Sometimes I don’t think I
make a very big impact on people.
Something like this could have
helped that.
Luke looks out at the gymnasium, thinking.
LUKE
So this was actually like...really
important to you?
MANNY
What clued you in?
Luke points to a huge election banner of Manny, which fills
an entire side of the gymnasium.
MANNY (CONT’D)
Yeah...that is sort of a tip-off
Luke and Manny grin at each other.
27.
EXT. SCHOOL - PARKING LOT
Jay’s car turns off the road and into the school parking lot.
INT. JAY’S CAR - CONTINUOUS
Jay drives as Phil sits in the passenger seat and Haley and
Cam sit in the back. Phil has his phone to his ear.
PHIL
(into cell)
Well, apparently it’s happened
before. At least that’s what the
nice security guard said. I know.
You’d think they’d get it fixed. Am
I right?
(to Jay)
Am I right?
(to Haley)
Am I...
Haley turns from Phil, still angry, and looks out the window.
Phil turns back to the front.
PHIL (CONT’D)
(into cell)
Yeah, no we’ll be there in a second
babe, no worries. Okay, gotta run.
(to Jay)
There’s a spot! There’s a spot!
JAY
Too late.
CAM
Should we circle around?
JAY
I’ll drop you off.
Jay drives the car to the...
EXT. SCHOOL - ENTRANCE
...and comes to a stop.
JAY
Alright, everybody out.
Everyone gets out of the car and Jay takes off back into the
parking lot.
DYLAN emerges from the school’s front door.
28.
DYLAN
Hey Haley.
HALEY
Dylan? What are you doing here?
DYLAN
Oh, your Dad texted me. Said you
decided not to go to this election
thing and needed a ride.
HALEY
He did?
Phil approaches the two.
PHIL
Dylan the villain. How are ya my
man?
Claire comes out of the school and up to Phil, putting her
cell phone in her pocket.
CLAIRE
There you are!
PHIL
Did we miss anything?
CLAIRE
Well, most of it, but they haven’t
announced the winner yet.
PHIL
Good! How’d Luke’s speech go?
CLAIRE
We’ll talk about that later.
CAM
Where’s Mitchell?
Claire shrugs her shoulders.
CLAIRE
I don’t know. Alex said they had a
fla...oh my god.
Claire looks out into the parking lot as Jay walks with
Gloria, who’s carrying Lily, and Alex and Mitchell follow
right behind.
29.
JAY
Look who I found in the parking
lot.
GLORIA
Sorry we’re late.
Cam goes up to Mitchell, who’s still covered in dirt.
CAM
What happened to you?
MITCHELL
I changed a tire.
JAY
Alright, lets get in there before
we miss the end.
Everyone heads in, except Phil, Claire, Haley, and Dylan.
HALEY
Have fun guys.
CLAIRE
Wait, you’re not staying?
PHIL
Nah, I told them they could go.
CLAIRE
Alright, but be home by eleven.
HALEY
Oh come on Mom, midnight?
CLAIRE
Now, we’ve talked about...
Phil puts his hand on Claire’s shoulder.
PHIL
--Honey, I think we could make an
exception this one time.
(looking over at Haley)
I trust her.
Haley gives Phil a grin.
CLAIRE
Alright then. Have a good time
sweetheart.
Haley and Dylan walk off into the parking lot.
30.
CLAIRE (CONT’D)
Let’s go.
PHIL
Right...wait.
Phil pulls the birth control pills from his pocket and hands
them to Claire.
PHIL (CONT’D)
You might want to label these or
something.
Phil walks into the school leaving Claire stunned.
INT. SCHOOL - AUDITORIUM STAGE - LATER
Manny, Luke, and Sarah once again sit in their seats, as the
audience, now including Claire and the rest of the family,
applaud Mrs. Clark, who approaches the podium.
MRS. CLARK
Welcome back ladies and gentleman
and without further adieu, let us
reveal the results. In second place
for this year’s election...Manny
Delgado!
The audience gives a pleasant clap and Manny grins to the
crowd, disappointed but not surprised.
MRS. CLARK (CONT’D)
And finally, this years student
council president...Luke Dunphy!
The crowd erupts in applause, as does the family.
Manny looks over at Luke and gives him a nod as Luke grins
back and approaches the podium.
LUKE
Umm...thanks everybody. It was
really cool for you to vote for me
and everything.
Luke grows quiet. He looks once again at Manny, who now looks
down at the floor. Luke turns back to the audience.
LUKE (CONT’D)
But...but I think I’m gonna quit.
A gasp runs through the crowd. Manny’s head shoots up.
31.
LUKE (CONT’D)
Look, this was fun but I think I
just wanna run track.
Luke walks back to his chair and sits down. Mrs. Clark walks
back to the podium.
MRS. CLARK
Well...we’re sorry to hear of your
decision Luke. Anyway, I guess this
means the election goes to our
runner up. Ladies and gentleman,
Manny Delgado!
The audience’s clapping putters, stunned by the results.
GLORIA
Yay Manny!
Gloria claps hard and the audience reaction follows.
Manny, with a big grin, walks up to the podium.
From their seats, the whole family smiles and claps.
JAY (V.O.)
You know, for better or worse,
there are times when we all have
something to prove.
JAY INTERVIEW
JAY
It’s just a fact of life.
SERIES OF SHOTS - ELECTION AFTER PARTY AT THE DUNPHY’S
-- The whole family mills around in the Dunphy’s kitchen,
talking and laughing as they eat.
JAY (V.O.)
And in these moments, we sometimes
win...
-- Gloria gives Manny a hug as Jay stands by.
JAY (V.O.) (CONT’D)
...we sometimes lose...
-- Cam cleans Mitchell’s dirty face with a towel as both grin
at each other.
32.
JAY (V.O.) (CONT’D)
...and sometimes we realize we
didn’t have anything to prove in
the first place.
-- The front door opens and Haley and Dylan walk in. They are
greeted and Haley moves to Phil, giving him a big hug.
-- The family sit in the living room, playing a board game.
JAY (V.O.) (CONT’D)
But that’s sorta the great thing
about being in a family- you don’t
have to prove anything at all.
You’re taken just as the crazy
messed up person you are.
-- The banner still hangs but now reads, “WAY TO GO GUYS.”
JAY (V.O.) (CONT’D)
And that...is something really
worth celebrating.
END OF ACT 3
33.
TAG
INT. MITCHELL AND CAM’S CONDO - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Cam closes the front door, a shopping bag in one hand.
He moves to the...
KITCHEN
...and his mouth drops.
CAM
What the...
Mitchell stands among all the jars in the house- each with
it’s lid pried off. He holds one last jar in his hand, just
about ready to open it.
Mitchell and Cam stare at each other for a long moment.
MITCHELL
It’s just...
Cam raises his hand.
CAM
I don’t even want to know.
Cam exits.
MITCHELL
But...
CAM (O.S.)
--Don’t want to know!
Mitchell shifts in his spot sheepishly and looks at the
unopened jar in his hands.
END OF SHOW
34.