Friday, January 12, 2007 two sunny days.

the night in the newly open cafe was almost endurable,even dog frequently delete my ftp download list and make files within a remote folder less in local folder after download finished,by modifying my ftp clients downloading list on the fly or deleted downloaded files on my hard disk,or cheat the ftp protocol and let downloading broke.however i got some pda warez from pda forums.gangsters around me rabbled for quite some times but later they lost their engergy.later also arrived another group of gangsters,including middle aged,they can be cop in guise.they left about 6 am and then my neighbor seats turned empty and some far seated player slept.on the way to dorm i felt in right spirit.the administrators of the canteen all claimed i turning slimmer,the female admin even warned me that i shouldn’t leave the world before my baby independent in the world.i knew last night i was encountered by violent threats.i asked for addition porridge at a price of 2 rmb.returned to dorm i just watched if my sd card was sound for in the last minute before the cafe locked the pc i was copying.my files copied all existed on the sd card,so i launched to see my baby at once.my baby was slept when i arrived.so i started to sort my downloadings.before i almost finished my work my baby cried and the kid son of the kid sister of my baby’s aunt went to hold him up.then my baby saw me in front of the pc and asked for my caress.i held him wander a moment then i told him i just need some extra minutes to finish and tried to lay him aside.he cried at once.so i picked him up again.later he let me finished my work swiftly.i sang a lot to fight against the challenges around.then he slept near 10 am and slept for an hour.her mother returned before we left to receive her.at lunch i was open and commented that the cook was poor.after lunch my baby asked to haunted outside.so i held him to the cult dragon supermarket.we picked goods then waited his mother to arrive as she asked.i bought my baby some milk candy against her opposing.then we went to the sports yard.i pushed my baby sliding on the ice ground with feet,with his back,with his bottom,all tries let my baby happily.a little boy about 4 or 5 years old can skate kept babbled with us and refused my offer of a candy.he likely from a islamic family.then we sent his mother to her school and his mother insisted standing along the way in sunshine.we met some of her colleagues and most of them were friendly to us.his mother insisted sending us back to home.then my baby was milked by his mother and slept.so did his mother.and i dozed aside.after his mother left,i wondered aside my baby.my baby woke up when i started to review the son of my kid brother,who let my baby in his life on earth first time encountered cold just after my kid brother’s family with my elder sister arrived,and my baby was medically treated by his mother,at the time when i was trapped in the asylum the third time in my life,and the second time in qiqihar.then i held my baby playing with what he liked.later i sang a lot,just felt challenged and joyful in my own.his mother returned home earlier than usual,just after a meeting as she said.then she tutored a girl student.lunch was rich with a dish of fried fish and a dish of pork with Garlic bolt,and a soup with tomato.we all enjoyed the fish.after dinner my baby and his mother lingered quite some time in the room the kid sister and her kid son now lived.my baby insisted played with notes of the kid son but he refused.then my baby’s mother read the note as homework.the air turned thick dirty so i left the room and meandered in the waiting room.soon his mother left to see me and asked why i don’t leave.i replied i want to see my baby slept.then my baby asked for my cares.in the time i started to review fathership and parentship.his mother tried to milk him and let him sleep,but my baby insisted to play.so i held him to play cooking utilities and flavor powder.he slept when his mother secondly forcefully milked him to sleep.i left after 8 pm and on the way felt freely to think in my way toward my destiny. in the dorm i wondered after 11 pm,tried some pda warez i just got.i slept sound in the night but in the morning my sleep was unstable.i got up at 2:11 pm.then i was surrounded by nomen about my baby.i decided to get rid of it and went to renew my borrowed magz.there is no new issues there,so i read some new magz don’t lend.the woman librarian let my nose running.then i passed the workers’ palace but left to dorm when my pda told me its near 4 pm.i headed to see my baby at once.on the way 2 taxi

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pale afternoon but sometimes the sun is clear with clouds. Public

the cafe charged me 2 yuan even i just used 1 hour and 7 minutes.i felt sorry for myself for exceed budget.in the room i felt had to rest awhile,likely being bited heavily in the cafe which is very hot and 2 boys later aside me let me quite unconfortable.i read my post on my pda till 2:30 pm.then i went to the libray of qrrs to borrow 2 pc magzines.i went there on foot.a young man arrived there just before me.i started to skim the encyclopedias when the man chatted with the librarain.then the librarain let me wait her awhile for she had to leav e for a moment.then i read a pc mag there and felt being bited.returned to the room in the dorm,biting even heavier when i sat facing the window to read.however i finished one copy.i just sense a new wave of challenge launched after some peaceful days of break passed. no matter how illwilled the surrounding things,i had no worry to hindersight.i know and stand in my position.the world in my view rests on my shoulders.i had the id to respond to it,as the bible says,my bread is the task my Father set to me. bye.i love u.kiss u with the pure white of coming snow.i love u like the roll in rolling.
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Date: 2006-11-20 12:30 Subject: pale morning sunshine Security: Public

i got up at 10:55 am.last night likely dirty willes thick and i almost wet dreamed.in the dawn i dreamed attending the funeral of the eldest brother of my dad in my hometown.the music for the funeral very coarse and loudly.then the watchwoman of the dorm knocked my door to let me receive a phone call.its from the group mornitor of my once working place,saying last time i admitted to attend work time why i didn't attend so far.and asked me to call the department director.i returned to dorm to continue my sleep.till 10 am i turned on my radio which elaberate if grandparents caring their grand child should charge for the parents.i knew a new web plotted by dog aiming trapping me into machinery dog system launched for years in the short history of prc.the group mornitor,a graduate once boasting his coorperation with the nasty local hooligans within the organization now has a taste to his descend.all the graduates now chose the pits set by the gov. to let him temporarily partake the state power or public service left with the same outlet,the same dustbin.they doomed to live in humdrum,in mediocre.china now manipulated and monopolied by dog,which refute any inprovement and progress except its biting teeth to steal and prey,its dirty spying eyes putting anyone into foul or criminal.anything original can be stained,anything with grace can only be withered with the dominant dirty around.that's the fate of prc. bye.i love u.kiss u with mops of pale cloud. dog hindered my download of anonymous surfing soft now.
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Sunday, November 19, 2006 pale sunny afternoon
in the morning when i surfed in the cafe,it turned to be slower and slower to return a page from the net.dogs these days determined to show their unabled to afford to lose.soon after i arrived my baby's mother's home his mother returned when i just prepared my baby to haunt outside.then i want to show my blog update within my googlepages at http://benzrad.googlepages.com ,and i launched to set my googlepages on her notebook.the all afternoon spent fruitlessly attempting setting it but dog hampered my googlepages to published.each time when i attempt to save modification and publish it it let the page popup windown saying can't save while its disconnected.but it in fact online.it even let the popup window showing from google.com.it really can shame anyone with its foul. after i finished my shower in the public bathroom,my baby's mother held him went to see her mother.i tried again.after again being hacked i gave up and left.on the way i met my baby and his mother so we returned her home.there i ate dinner.i drank a bottle of bear to let go the dirty after dancing with dogs. returned to the dorm i listened awhile radio.and i felt better surfing with crowd to avoid concentrated hack when i single out in the few

cafe users. after all ,it s a nice day.i did what i can envised.dog's hacking and blocks only remind me how far yet the reality under dog's surveilance lagging me,lagging the advance of china,and urged me to fight with more energy. bye.i lvoe u.kiss u with the pure white of the coming snow. Posted by benzrad at 7:32 PM 0 comments Links to this post

2006-11-19 09:35 Date: Subject: limp morning sunshine

i got up at 8:41 am.last night the dog's bite is faint.i fell into sleep after some waits.the cafe in which i lost its register card finally didn't return the key money i handed in of 10 yuan by delaying to deal with my problem and let me trying to find back.it can be safely to claim that in nowaday china dogged by dog there is no grace anywhere anyway.every vendors compete to be bitchy.for there is no way to warrent common people,common cusumers' interests.social gathering banned or under tighten surveilance.individule complains directed to cops or civil department where to detain. in the dawn i dreamed one of my college alumni,chenxinjian,handling a task of dispatching and returning a form in which likes a population survey to fill in ur name detailedly.then i envisioned a web service to let people register their name online and write down their tour to tourism on web and let the web constructs the virtual map of the landscape,maybe a bit like google earth.in the end of the dream i saw a chinese .com titled shushen(learner) or shutong(pupil) strived to offer this kind of service. its a ordinary sunny morning.last night i worked here for 4 hours to modify my googlepages as well as my baby's mother's.i will see my baby after posted here. bye,i love u.kiss u.
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Saturday, November 18, 2006 ordinary sunny afternoon
the cafe i surfed in the morning banned modifying its ie settings so i can't use proxy.my email blog to blogger.com was blocked or captured while email to post to googlegroup succeeded.when i arrived my baby's mother's home his grandmom there.i soon held him outside to receive his mother.on the way he fell into sleep on my shoulders.when his mother appeared in the crowd of the students he woke up.we ate some croakers at lunch.after lunch i busy with boasting my work last night for making her googlepages ready and she admitted it.then the two old sisters went to shower and my baby was held by his mother haunting outside,leaving me alone trying to do some final touch to her googlepages.but i soon fed up with slow speed and gave up.then i operated on pc offline to sort my sd card of my pda,and attempting to find my heading works when i worked for qrrs cable tv but in vain.time glides and then all members returned.my baby slept sound in his mother's arms and till i finished my dinner he woke up from bedroom.we ate dumplines at dinner.then i docked a cafe far from qrrs dorm zone but near then the cafe i surfed in the morning.i tried quite some pcs but most of its front usb port was disabled.and in the process i lost its registry card.it took me 10 yuan as key money and likely a dispute awaiting me. bye.i love u.kiss u with jeer. heavily hacked.proxy mostly blocked.google logined but returned a

clear sunny day. Category: Life

i woke up at 8:23 am and got up at 9:00 am.i dreamed the ceremony of the prc's foundation,in which mao acted as a crabbed host and zhude offer a lecture of reciting his poem in traditional chinese poem form.i went to see my baby son at once.my baby again hide himself in the hug of the old woman when caught sight of me.but he immediately approached me and cried when i insisted kissing his leg.all morning i held him playing at home,till near 10:30 he slept on my shoulders.i tied him with a carpet of whose two side i held tight to keep warm and rest his wrest when he slept on my neck.his mother's return woke him up and his mother busy with let me restore her os and installed again the domestic antivirus soft titled rising.after lunch we played with our baby awhile while continuing installation and backup.then we haunted outside.his mother headed to her school and we toddled on the street toward the school.when we arrived there and found its door half open we slided in.a class there having sport lesson and we played on the yard and gradually approached the teaching building.some students on the corridor cleaning the ladder and stainless steel bar of the ladder.my baby stood motionlessly there watched them working.some teachers acquainted with us.even i felt we r venturing to enter the working area but we finally retreated to the outer yard again without any retardment in the building while some men and women busy around.in the sports yard we played awhile a ditched football till his mother catched us and urged us to leave.my baby cried awhile after left the school and i bought an icecream and a bag of inflation food for him and he demanded eating the icecream at once and we did.he liked the icecream.i bought some dates(zhao) from the fruit shop on the way,in memory my search for u.we again played on the waiting room and when i started to sing loudly my baby slept on my shoulders again.from 3:30 to 4:30 he slept sound on my neck.when i attempted to shift him to bed he woke up.and i returned after my baby peacefully farewelled to me. at dinner i sat a table with 3 girls likely middle school students.i drank a bottle of bear for the dish is greasy.when i let out bubble from my belly,the girl facing me responded and let me smiled a lot. last night in the cafe i was heavily hacked.a website of www.pxdxa.com was blocked for quite some time and let me doubting if its shut.so when i surf with proxy i checked it and found its well working.so i started to download my pda a doc editor but dogs not let me having it to correct my blog they frequently modified within my account they broke in and let the pc hanged.i reset two times but it still illworking,so i changed a pc but it again being hacked to err and when i killed some suspectable process it rebooted itself.then i left.dog really saw more and more their losing. bye.i love u.kiss u with warm heart.

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Tuesday, November 14, 2006 all day sunny. Category: Life

the air is warm.the sky is clear.i went to the library of qrrs to borrow 3 copies of pc magzines.i read one of it thoroughly in the sunshine in room.dogs bited around when i read.the cafe's boss likely a dog.last time he pretending sleeping on the chair on my back and laid a leg on a stool pointed me.that and other dogs in the cafe let me unconfortable for all the time i surfed there.this time he peeked his head around me and retreated when catched sight of me far from the sight of the recept desk of the cafe.dogs just out of their track. its a busy afternoon for me,for i kept reading till dinner time.in fact i almost forgot the time to dinner.but i m also at leisure,for pc magzine entertained me.at dinner there r quite some young girls likely lodged middle school students of qrrs' middle school.i don't hesitate a second to sit aside the table they sat.they r just so eyes attacting. dogs biting now.i had not so much to utter now.i just felt its a long time in today and felt relaxed by tomorrow's visiting my baby son.i love life like this,no matter how lonely my heart in search for girls,in searching u. bye.i will do some reading on web.i love u.kiss u with lightened heart.

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Tuesday, November 14, 2006 beautiful sunshine. Category: Life i woke up at 8:03 am and started to listen radio when its just to 9:00 am.dogs let me urgent to make water but i held it till after 8 am.the economic channel of beijing's centual radio reporting iron demands slumping and retail price of agriculture and house increasing.but the stock market soaring.i always felt puzzled when the cpc claimed from their sovereign the country was a whole unity and all property share and all member of the people r workers of the country,how can it breeds so many stockholders.these interest groups or blocks or dots within the unity or outside of the unity and bargain with the unity?if within the unity,if the one unity died?if its outside of the unity then from the start the unity was not a unity,but a dominating one with other unities.if the prc was a mighty master with arm force,how can its servants,those high rank cardres with well salary,hold their restrains not to steal the property of his master,esp. when now they earn high salary and bargain in the stock market with stateowned enterprises' stateowned shares,ie the master,and those free enterpreneurs and foreigh investors, with their salary as their capital? or if the new products as surplus of the unity and dispersed among its members including the master and its servants according to their contributions,as the marxism claimed the source of the commence of private property,who will judge the distribution righteous? i always felt the china stock market just a unreal cheating arena to money laundry the stealing cardres' theft.i only know russia dispersed all stateowned enterprise equally to its people and after that can be a free market to be found,and i think that's probably the only way to deal with china's stateowned property. bye.i love u.kiss u with bright. 10:20 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Monday, November 13, 2006 started to uncomparable sunshine in afternoon. Category: Life i got up at 9:13 am.i dreamed temporarily lived in a family with a son and a daughter and their parents.my elder brother and our once old bull also appeared in my dream.after woke up i knew my second elder brother and my second elder sister endured the hardest time in our grand father's youth as well as the new republic and they had the will and reservation for a boarder dream not paler than mine. when i arrived my baby received me happily.but he cried to refuse my kissing his leg but i did on my own.i held him playing the basin in which there r some used water.he messed up all cook utensils available.he slept on my shoulders when its near 10:30 am and woke up when his mother returned at 11:30 am.after lunch we haunted outside as i suggested to shot.we went to sports yard where a crowd of elemental school students there and watched us shotting.after returned home i busy with sorting the sd card while his mother milked him.when his mother left for her school he approached me to ask for my attending him.all afternoon he insisted my caress him to play.we really had a good time even i frequently want to continue my work on pc.he slept when its 3:30 pm on my neck for an hour.i sang a lot when he sleeping.we watched tv peacefully after he woke up till his mother returned.then i busy with backup shots to my udisk.after dinner i left and ported here to write u and published our shots. bye.i love u.kiss u with bright.hope the snow bring u clean and clear mind. btw, the post titled 'pale morning,now snowing. ' posted on Nov. 12 including a line reads 'who shown the caligraphy of his father,likely named xiaqing(summer cyan),who experted at handwriting and crave and also a worker's model medalist as being a middle school teacher for qrrs' school as i known.',in which the 'crave' should be 'carve',i meant seal carving,in chinese zhuanke. for blogger was blocked by chinese dogs.u can still read it via my google doc. my blog from 2006.8.10--11.9 my blog update after 20066.11.9

baby in first serious snow in the winter

afternoon snow finally let it like a real snow of winter.
when i left the cafe at noon its snowing and continously in the afternoon.i roamed in the snow in the tree yard of the dorm zone.some little students there attending class there sliding on the ice and let me befirended.i toddled for about an hour.snow gathered on my suite but it didn't wet it.then i returned room and wandering and wondering.later i listened radio on bed.then read autobiography of Margaret Hilda Thatcher,the former primer of uk.till 4:20 pm i laid it down and ready to left for dinner.after dinner i sorted my family email list within my gmail and most of the an hour passed.now i m ready to leave.dog's biting restlessly.

bye.i love u.my seat near the lavatory which is smelly.so i wouldn't kiss u.the white snow blesses u.its so refreshing,so ehchanting.thx god. Posted by benzrad at 6:01 PM 0 comments Links to this post

pale morning,now snowing.

i woke up after 7 am and started to listen radio at 9:18 am.in the dawn i dreamed one of my once colleague named xiaxiaodan(summer little red),who shown the caligraphy of his father,likely named xiaqing(summer cyan),who experted at handwriting and crave and also a worker's model medalist as being a middle school teacher for qrrs' school as i known.the grandson and granddaughter busy practising handwriting under his influence.then i in a sports yard and i jogged on the track and found soccor training team.then some young men playing poker on the yard.they r likely offspring of wellbeing and gangsters,both have lots of leisure time.then their wifes replaced them to playing there and they shifted to a table farer the side of the yard to play.dogs biting while i stayed on bed listening radio and then i recalled ur possible interaction with me.i got up near 10 am. after lunch i here busy with sorting my contacts list,mainly my own and my son and his mother's email accounts.i likely to exceed 1 hour here this time even i felt sorry.but in fact with the 50 yuan from my once working place i didn't bankrupt my budget of lodge and board. the snow likely stopped.i hope she can help me clean my hot brain with contnuous snowing. bye.i love u.kiss u with cool.

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Saturday, November 11, 2006 extraordinary sunny day.
i got up at 8:49 am and immediate to see my baby.his mother at home when i arrived and she is busy with shot my baby and me.when i started to sort the sd card of the camera his mother left.i held my baby playing till the old woman left and my baby became irritated for being sleepy.i hurried to find his coat and left the home.he sat silently on my shoulders when i passed the grocers aside the street toward his mother's school.when we started to walk outside around the south garden and when i started to sing he fell into sleep.i stayed in front of the front gate of south garden,facing the bright sun,and stalked.when i felt better to see if his mother's school's door open throught the south garden western door,he woke up on my neck.he directed me to turn back to pick a shortcut to the western door but i hinted him to buy some snacks.he admitted it and i bought him a bag of rice biscuit and we ate at once.the door of his mother's school later opened and we slided in.we entered the classroom building and waited his mother on the first floor passway.he also practised to move on the steep ladders of the passway with my hands in his hands.soon the crowd of students leaving,some girl students kissed my baby's cheek.we finally met his mother and he asked his mother to hold him to watch the side building's corridor.we all felt glad.at lunch he insisted playing spool and till his mother can't afford his spoiling soup.after lunch he was sent to sleep after milked.so did his mother and the old woman.i went alone to shower.after i returned his mother again started to shot him with the old woman and the son of his mother's aunt.then i bragged my knowledge on digital home to his mother and all of

them kept listening.my baby busy with playing aside till i finished my bubble and in high spirit.at dinner i drank a tin of beer and my baby also tasted some of it.we had a good time full day. last night the dogs bited heavily but later i felt its u missing me and i started to consider our relation.the bright sun in daytime let me feel i m under bless of u. its really a nice sunny day.so auspicious.i know u r in the mood of deep love to me.i felt glad seeing the bright of our piteful love. bye.i love u.kiss u with sunshine. some shots by his mother. Posted by benzrad at 8:12 PM 0 comments Links to this post

Son in winter at home

Son in winter at home in a extraordinary sunny day.

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Friday, November 10, 2006 pale afternoon
i laid myself on bed most of the afternoon.first part i listening music,then in silence,then listening then roamed in the room.i reviewed my family life when i was a boy.my mother's love among our brothers.i also recalled my best friend in college,qiuxiaolin,and bianbaqiongda,a taibet paiting student in tianjin art college.they let me smile and in understanding to their kindness.i also saw the girl haunted in the dorm canteen these days in my mind eyes.she is a tall girl with admirable figure,a little bit stronger than u.i always prefer slim girl,but she also let me burning.i don't know where she from and who she is,but i know i m weak in girl's fondness.days and nights turns my heart for girl's love more drought.and fears and tears turns me more prone to melt in sweet heart or sheep's eye. at dinner,i arrived earlier in the aim to meet the girl.but just met a cop in uniform there.regarding the authority of the state force i felt laughable.i watched tv which live skill skate contest and i enjoyed a couple show from us.i know i was blessed. bye.i love u.kiss u with more snow in sight. btw,in the post of nov. 9th titled 'sunny morning' there was a line : 'last night i dreamed of chenlong(become dragon),the hongkang kongfu actor,whose son named fangzuming,interviewed with our a semester including 4 or 5 children including a white girl and teached by show his acting in movies.',it

likely should be 'last night i dreamed of chenlong(become dragon),the hongkang kongfu actor,whose son named fangzuming,interviewed with our a seminar including 4 or 5 children including a white girl and teached by show his acting in movies.' i sometimes confused by 'semester' and 'seminar'. Posted by benzrad at 6:12 PM 0 comments Links to this post

sunny morning.
i got up after 9 am.i stayed in quilt listening radio for quite some time.the day light on the curtain is so bright that let me doubting if its snow covered outside.after getting up i listened to the economic channel of centual radio from beijing relayed by local radio in fm band.the stock market soaring.the high cardres busying bailing out the deposit of the republic to their private pocket for a ready to desert the main land.they can leave a bankrupt government to the common people,like a paper tiger as mao sneered once at us.most of the people on mainland deserved it for their inactiveness to robery and pressing in the short history of prc. bye.i love u.kiss u with serious tear for ongoing loss to my kingdom. Posted by benzrad at 11:31 AM 0 comments Links to this post