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Vol 37, Issue No. 889

Founder: Vishwa Nath


Padmini Singh


G. Brindha



Our Correspondent




Indumati Arasu


Our Correspondent

120 28


Our Correspondent


Suman Bajpai


Our Correspondent

Puja Sharma T. Rajagopalan


Chandrashekhar Srivastava



Amrinder Bajaj


Vasantha Reddi


Maharaaj K. Koul

Aparna Pradhan


K. M. Sharma



Sharmila Roy Ghosal

Romola Shanbhag


Savita Singh


R. N. Sharma

Vanilla and almond cake Chocolate date and walnut FOR YOUR pudding Sweet tooth Mango muffins with cheese spread Lemon flavoured chocos cake Baked chocolate cheese cake Crumble pie Vanilla muffins with blue Mini 3 layered dessert berry sauce Apricot cherry slices Banana fruit cake with Strawberry flavoured cake kiwi topping Heart-shaped chocolate Cake vermicelli balls cinnamon cake with Walnut chocolate tart chocolate icing Coffee muffins Fusion dessert
Vanilla and almond cake


E You must have ALMOND CAK IENTS: tasted so many INGREDmaida - flour these 250 gm tsp baking powder 11/ 4 level sweets. But a 3 eggs will taste with 220 gm sugar 200 ml oil difference. vanilla essence
By Roma Ghosh


is till the mixture together. Blend a mixing remove to smooth and with the the maida time bowl. Add a little at a baking powder liquid mixture and into the beaten with a wooden blend gently chopped mix in the spoon. Also dish almonds. round baking the Grease a into this mixture a preand pour in and bake C for baking dish at 180 degree 3-4 drops heated oven cut into small Insert a skewer 200 gm almonds 35 to 40 minutes. is done. If the cake when pieces to see if the out clean ion: skewer comesmiddle of the cake For the decorat the cream inserted in off the oven 200 gm whipped ready. Put - powdered in the the cake is 2-3 tsp sugar cake to cool essence and allow the n 1 drop vanilla minutes. cake decoratio oven for 5-7 out of the oven silver edible ly. Bring the cake balls it to cool complete the and allow sugar into the cream METHOD the flour and Whip the essence . Sift together keep aside. mix in the powder and mixer to a and also over the cake baking this icing or sugar in a silver balls Grind the essence Spread decorate with Add the oil, mixer, and decoration. fine powder. and run the well any other cake and the eggs mixture blends so that the

INGREDIENTS: flour 250 gm maida baking powder 11/ 4 level tsp 220 gm sugar curd plain 200 gm thick and is not sour curd which content has no water 200 ml oil dates cut 100 gm seedless small pieces into 100 gm walnuts e powder 11/ 2 tbsp chocolat METHOD r the flour, Sift togethe and the te powder chocola and keep baking powder sugar in a the aside. Grind powder. Add fine the mixer to a curd and run the oil, the that the mixture mixer so

to see if Insert a skewer till the minutes. is done. If the skewer together. Blend to the cake clean when inserted in blends well and remove out the cake is mixture is smooth the maida with comes of the cake Add the middle oven and allow a mixing bowl. chocolate Put off the for powder and in the oven beaten ready. the baking cake to cool time into the gently the a little at a and blend minutes. liquid mixture spoon. Also mix in 5-7 . with a wooden the walnuts dates and and the baking dish Grease a round into the baking pour this mixturein a preheat ed dish and bake 35 to 40 degree C for oven at 180

INGREDIENTS: flour 200 gm maida baking powder 1 level tsp 180 gm sugar essence 5-6 drops mango plain curd 150 gm thick and is not sour curd which content has no water 200 ml oil pulp gm mango 100 : For serving with spread Mango muffins 60-70 gm cheese
cheese spread


date and Chocolate walnut pudding







27 31 42 49 66 88 CHILD CHALLENGES 138 NEW LAUNCHES PERSONAL PROBLEMS 140 CLASSIFIEDS TEENACHE Cover courtesy: BEAUTY QUERIES Model: Pooja Wadhera I AM PREGNANT Photographer: Sam ( CHOOSE N PICK Styling: Sakshi Benipuri
Make-up: Aman Garments: Nitya Bajaj

RATES: Inland
Page 132


Editor, Publisher & Printer PARESH NATH
Printed at Delhi Press Samachar Patra Pte Ltd., A-36, Sahibabad, Ghaziabad and Delhi Press, E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055 and published on behalf of Delhi Press Patra Prakashan Pte Ltd. from E-3, Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110 055. E-mail: EDITORIAL, ADVERTISEMENT & PUBLICATION OFFICE Delhi Press Building, E-3, Jhandewala Estate, Rani Jhansi Marg, New Delhi-110 055. Phone: 41398821, 41398888. Fax: 91-11-23625020 CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENT DEPARTMENT M-12, Connaught Circus, New Delhi-110 001. Phone: 011-23416313. The names of characters used in all fiction and semi-fiction articles are fictitious. COPYRIGHT NOTICE Delhi Press Patra Prakashan Pte Ltd. New Delhi-110 055. India.



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s a woman entitled to get maintenance from her husband after divorce if her earnings are more than him? If we are to believe the recent ruling of the Supreme Court, such a woman, who earns more than her husband and wants divorce, is not entitled to get any maintenance from him. This ruling has provided a new ground for probing divorce cases. Under the law divorce can be granted on a number of grounds. If a woman finds that her husband is impotent and cant satisfy her physically or that her husband is involved in polygamy or that her husband is mentally deranged or her husband frequently resorts to beating her or that her husband does not look after her well and does not give her financial support. In all such circumstances a woman can approach the court and seek divorce and demand maintenance. Demanding maintenance is reflection of the male-dominated society. But the Supreme Courts ruling appears to be an attempt to reverse this trend. Should we assume that we are moving towards a female-dominated social system? Certainly women are coming forward in all spheres of life. They are outperforming men in every field. But when it comes to home front, we always find women in a submissive role. Even a highly ranked and highly paid woman is a good wife and good mother and always faithful to her husband. It is not wrong on her part to expect similar devotion and faithfulness from her husband. On the other hand, men are by nature promiscuous. No one can say for sure that a highly ranked and highly paid man would be a good husband and good father and always be loyal to his wife. Of course, there are some exceptions too. It is, therefore, but natural for a woman to approach the court and seek divorce from her unfaithful husband. Laws of the land automatically entitle her to get maintenance after divorce, irrespective of her financial standing. Husband would naturally resist the move that binds him to give maintenance and to prove his inability he would recount a number of reasons. Supreme Courts recent ruling will come as an incentive for all such husbands who want divorce but not the responsibility of giving maintenance. As for the presumption that we are moving towards female

dominated society it would be too premature yet to assume it to be true. Society is certainly changing and so are the roles of man and woman in it. But still we have miles to go before this fantasy becomes a reality. Closely related to the marriage and divorce are the cases of live-in relationships, which are increasing in our country day by day. About two years ago, the honourable Supreme Court, in a ruling, had held that if a man and a woman agree by mutual consent to live together as husband and wife no one should have any objection to their relationship. The apex court had further granted legal status to the children born in such relationships thus saving them from the humiliation of being branded as bastards. Since then, many such cases have been brought to the court in which women sought divorce from their live-in partners. The situation created dilemma for the legal experts as to how to decide on the divorce since no legal marriage had taken place. These women not only sought divorce but also demanded maintenance from their live-in partners. The situation forced the apex court to redefine the legal status of live-in relationships. A set of new parameters was promulgated to differentiate between true live-in relation from physical relations formed at the quirk of the moment and also from concubines. According to the new definition, to be entitled to maintenance, a woman has to prove that she had been living as a live-in partner with a man. If she fails to establish the status of her live-in relationship, the man is not bound to give her any maintenance. While setting the men free from any liability, the ruling excluded certain women, who fall in a range of relationships with men. This ruling again seems to be based on the assumption that women are getting empowered and are now more independent economically. Needless to say that the ruling tilted more in favour of men, for whom it is easy to prove that they had no lasting relation with a particular woman except their wife. In the light of this discussion it becomes apparent that liability of each partner, especially male, should be clearly defined in a live-in relationship. Not only defined but legal binding should also be fixed. Otherwise, women will always find themselves on the losing side.
write to: We

Womans Era December (Second) 2010

Nagging does no good.
By Padmini Singh
6 Womans Era December (Second) 2010


aman was a carefree bachelor. After marriage to Rukmini he felt at the top of the world for some time but after a few years he started feeling frustrated and small due to the nagging habit of Rukmini which increased day by day. Raman could not discard his old habits of leaving his shoes, briefcase and newspaper anywhere in the drawing room; his wet towel on the bed and of bending the pillows. He did not help his wife in getting the homework of children done or in attending the parents day at school. As the workload of Rukmini increased, so did her nagging. Chandran joins his friends at the coffee house soon after leaving the office and goes to evening show of pictures with some of his friends twice a week. His late coming itself gives Renuka, his wife, an additional point to nag about his fidelity. Chandran does not bother to

understand the problems of his wife as to why his darling wife of yesteryear has become a boring nagging woman. He does not give any thought to her monotonous life, the pressure of work, her yearning for his company and remains occupied with his office work and with his personal recreation. Pratibha is an educated and talented housewife who works very hard to look after her children, husband and home. In order to keep everything in order and at its proper place, she nags her husband about his habit of leaving his briefcase, newspaper and towel everywhere in the drawing room and shoes and clothes anywhere in the bedroom. Her husband is an unhappy man as he has been constantly nagged and pestered by his wife. Pratibha has seen her mother doing the same to mend the ways of her father though without success and instead of adopting a different approach, she is following the same.

Ramola always nags her husband because he neither helps her in household work nor teaches the children. She nags him even for not taking a bath in time, for not watering the plants, for reading magazines and papers for hours and not going to the market when required. Her


husband resents her remarks and the tone in which they are said results in an exchange of hot words and shouting at each other and unpleasantness. Even then, as a matter of habit acquired in the last eight years of her married life, Ramola cannot hold herself back and goes on lashing out at her husband. Women are in the habit of nagging. Adolescents and teenagers are nagged for not keeping their things in order, not eating on time, giving more time to friends and games than to studies, not returning home in time and for doing so many other things. Their small mistakes are often exaggerated and even if they have not repeated it, they are constantly reminded of them which may result in correcting them or they start doing exactly the opposite of what is expected of them. They start either avoiding their mother or start answering her back and making her more cranky and unhappy. Due to the motherly weakness for her children she compromises with them. Servants most often adjust themselves to the nagging of the lady of the house by doing what she desires, ignore her pranks or let out their steam by talking about the nagging habit of hers to other servants. Mostly the brunt of a nagging housewife is borne by the husband. He is nagged most because he matters most to her who expects full support and help. His not doing things according to her likings and desires frustrates her resulting in nagging. Some women have a nagging nature and some develop it later due to an uncooperative attitude and lack of consideration on the part of their husbands. Women always crave appreciation. They are to be appreciated for their looks, for their dress and make-up, for their good advice, for the food prepared by them, for managing the house so well, for looking after the children, parents and relatives and, in fact, for everything. Most men fail in this respect and in course of time she gets dissatisfied and starts nagging them.

Why a wife nags When she wants to get and see the things done her way. When she is overworked and tired and there is no recreation for her. When she does not get a break from the monotony of routine.


When she has no time and there are too many jobs at hand. When she does not get help from her husband and children. When she is not appreciated for her hard work and devotion to home and family. When she wants to have control over her husband. When she feels that her husband does not listen to her. Due to early experiences of seeing her mother keeping control on her father this way. Due to the tendency to show off her importance in the house or to show that she knows better.

Adverse effects of nagging on the husband The husband feels strangled and either carries out the required task meekly or resents it by an aggressive and unacceptable response. He may keep quiet but keep boiling inside and becomes prone to high blood pressure and heart attack or becomes quarrelsome creating scenes which affect children adversely. He remains unhappy due to the unpleasant and suffocating home atmosphere, feels hurt and may become less communicative. He may delay homecoming by reaching late from office, club or from a friends house. He may start drinking or drift to another woman to find solace leading to the extreme steps of separation and divorce or of becoming a sadhu or of committing suicide. Adverse effects of nagging on the wife herself A nagging wife is not happy about anything and finds faults and shortcomings in everything. She sees things not happening according to her liking and wants to impose her will at every step. Some women in their enthusiasm of keeping a hold on the home front and on their husbands, overstep and overdo things. They conclude that as they are the home-makers, they must run the house in the way they desire. They have no confidence in their husbands for doing anything right and also have no respect for them, for reasons best

known to themselves. Their own married lives become unhappy and they remain tense. They lose the respect of the children and husbands. The silence observed by the husbands may make them cranky. When things do not happen as they want they become frustrated. Wives nag and taunt their husbands for their own failure on many fronts. Some become very dominating and feel no shame in insulting their husbands in front of others. The husbands do not like to be dominated and insulted or directed and disciplined by their wives in front of others. They get agitated and resent being dominated resulting in an exchange of unpleasant words, abuses and violence. Some husbands give way from the beginning or after some time for the sake of peace and harmony and for not becoming the laughing stock to the neighbours and friends. Husbands who become submissive and outwardly remain calm and quiet to their wives nagging, feel powerless and frustrated. Some husbands absorb themselves in social work or political activities or in club life or become workaholics remaining away from home for long hours to avoid their nagging wives. The home lifes can be very congenial and peaceful, becomes topsy-turvy. What a husband should do Remain calm. Carry out the expected task according to the wifes wishes. Take timely action to reduce the nagging. Try not to let the reason for his wifes nagging happen again. He should ignore her nagging but carry out the task. Cooperate, give support and help to lessen her domestic burden. Try to change his habits which are not suiting the spouse. If it is felt that the issues on which the wife nags are not valid, discuss it with her at some quiet moments. Avoid replying or justifying. Silence is golden.


Womans Era December (Second) 2010

Go away to another room or out of the house for a short walk so that her mood improves.

How a wife can avoid nagging Communicate her needs in a positive and civilised way. Develop good a relationship with husband so as to create a deep respect for each other. Talk to the husband about what help is needed from him and why. This should be done in a relaxed mood and when he is receptive. Try to understand his point of view and his difficulties. Cushion every negative comment with 10 positive comments. A request works better than an ordering tone. Not repeat again and again what is wanted and expected. Saying or telling once or reminding after some time is better than harping on the same point. Avoid being too rigid about your views and likes and dislikes. Avoid being too fussy about

cleanliness, orderliness and perfection. Curbing her dominating nature. Even when nagging is done with good intentions it is not a good way of getting things done. Wives must realise that each person has some

peculiarities and it is no use to compare him with others. She should know that she will never succeed in changing her husband by nagging. Changes can be brought about only by a loving and cajoling attitude with a lot of patience on her part over a prolonged time. If a woman wants to live happily she must change her attitude and stop nagging. Husbands do change gradually and adapt themselves to the likes and dislikes of their wives. Instead of nagging, wives should lure their husbands into better habits by praising them tactfully for their smallest help and work-sharing even if is is not to her entire satisfaction. The husbands should also try to understand the reasons for the nagging of their wives and should do their best to mend their ways so as to live together happily. Women who have made nagging a habit and do not do away with it, invite their own peril by remaining tense and getting away from their husband both emotionally and physically. We

A providential escape
This unforgettable incident occurred at the fag end of the year 1961. I was married less than six months. My husband the was C.A. (confidential assistant) to the commercial superintendent of the Bhavnagar Division of Western Railways. My husbands boss had to tour the entire division frequently as part of his job and it was mandatory for my husband to accompany him. Though I used to feel lonely at the start of our married life, I soon got accustomed to his absence almost three days of every week. On 8 December, my husband started on a tour with his boss to Una, the borderland of Delwada, a Portugese territory of Diu. He cautioned me that he had no prior idea of the exact date of his return. As I was habituated to

the off and on lonely stay for the previous few months, I did not mind. But what he did not inform me was that his boss had been deputed as the liaison officer of the Western Railways to the armed forces at the border where the Portugese were waging a war against India. And my husband as his assistant, had to accompany him. As an inexperienced young bride, I was unaware of the perils of modernday warfare and its vastly destructive weapons. A week after my husbands departure, a messenger arrived with three sets of soiled clothes from my husband and left with the same number of laundered clothes for him. When asked about the date of their return, the messenger said, No one knows. You dont worry, madam. Just pray that all of them return safely. He added, as if to comfort me. But his pathetic look at me and his words, instead of providing solace, raised a panic at the pit of my stomach.
Womans Era December (Second) 2010

Poor thing! So young! I heard him tell my neighbour. In those days, cell phones were never heard of. Even land phones were rare. I had no idea how to get in touch with my husband. On 21 December, I got a message from his office that the entire group was safe and were arriving the next day. On his arrival on 22 December, he divulged to me the real danger they were in. Had the Portugese army used the missiles and bombs they had in store, none of them would have survived. But the enemy had an acute shortage of food supplies. As the Indian Navy had surrounded them on all naval fronts, supplies could not reach them from their country, Portugal. For want of food, the enemy had had to surrender to the Indian Army. Thus, my husband and his team had a providential escape from the otherwise sure massacre. And we still lead a happy married life of 49 years. Sunanda Sankaran, Mumbai.

This is the view of the first electric car in Indonesia by Mercedes-Benz and Siemens at the Jakarta City Hall compound on 24 November. Mercede-Benz together with Siemens agreed to lend the environment-friendly Smart ed to the Jakarta local government for a project study.

No more air pollution

The Bigg Boss show

London-based artist Anish Kapoor poses for photograph during the preview of his exhibition at the Mehboob Studios in Mumbai where his work is on display.

A South Korean man looks at Apples iPad at a KT shop during its launch in Seoul on 30 November. Now, Apples iPad is competing with Samsung Electronics Galaxy Tab.

The former Baywatch Star Pamela Anderson wearing a ghaghra-choli dances on the sets of the reality show Bigg Boss at Lonavala. Pamela, a celebrity guest in the 4th session of the show is seen trying her steps with Salman Khan in the next photograph.

An artist arrives Apples iPad

The white snow sheet

This is the first training in the Mens Downhill of the FIS Ski World Cup in Lake Louise, in Canada on 24 November.

Singer-actress Cher stands in Wet Cement as she is immortalised at her hand and footprint ceremony outside the historic Graumans Chinese Theatre in Hollywood on 18 November.

Unveiling charity donation

Vice-President of the Damian Group Silvia Damian, actress Sharon Stone and John Travis of Drop in the Bucket unveils charity donation and the new Damian Maji Jewellery Collection designed by Sharon Stone at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Beverly Hills, California.

A hybrid test vehicle of German car maker BMW is spruced up ahead of a ceremonial act in Munich, southern Germany on 30 November, celebrating its independence and success story after the adoption of a restructuring plan 50 years ago on November 30, 1960.

For a ceremonial act

Singing in Wet Cement

Kasaragod Kannur Wayanad

Malapuram Kozhikode


Thrissur Iddukki Ernakulam

Alappuzha Pathanamchitta Kollam Thiruvananthapuram

each? It is just a few minutes walk from here. Cant you see the blue yonder over there? asks Anil Kumar as he points his finger the horizon. I walk rapidly to have a glimpse. The vast sea and the sand gradually looms before me. A step ahead would have resulted in a headlong fall. I am on the brink of a precipice which offers a stunning prospect of sea, sand and surf. I am at Varkala, a beach retreat, about 50 km from Thiruvananthapuram. It seems the whole town is spread over this escarpment which drops dramatically to beautiful beaches. I return to my hotel, Sanctum Spring, which is located on the highland. There is a large empty ground in front of the hotel which is popularly known as helipad. There is a convenient winding pathway nearby which descends to the beach. The famous Nature Cure Centre is in the neighbourhood. The hotel is new but without any trappings of a cosy resort. The dining

hall appears small. The waiter arrives after sometime and I order for hot beverages but they were not available. South Indian dishes? A big No. Indian? Only parantha and poori bhaji. Most of our guests are foreigners. We have only bread toast. Juices? Only sweet lime and lemon juice. In short, its Hobsons Choice. The comestibles are also of not high quality. The service also needs improve ment. Tariff? On the high side. We dont compromise on our rack rates, asserts the manager. But, the vantage location covers up all these shortfalls. You can conveniently reach anywhere in Varkala from this point. I want to tootle around this town, and decide to commence it on a religious note. The Janardhana swamy temple, one of the most celebrated shrines of Lord Vishnu in Keral is located on an upland not far away from the beach can be reached by a flight of steps. Blessed are those who visit Kerala temples in the evening. The flickering lamps around


A quiet alternative to Kovalam.
By G. Brindha

Varkala beach.

the walls of the temple deities illuminated by soft glowing oily lamps, a cool breeze, young women clad in white saris (with creamy borders) will transport you to Vaikuntam. The temple said to be 2,000 years old has ancient brass bells gifted by a mariner. It also has a beautiful tank in the vicinity. Varkala is inextricably linked in the popular Indian imagination with the philosopher, poet and social performer Sri Narayana Guru who founded an ashram, Sivagiri Mutt, on a terraced hill near the town. It also has the mausoleum of the Nanoo Swami, a man much ahead of his times. The saint promulgated the theory of One caste, one god and one religion. The 200-acre premises also house an old residence of the guru and a bookshop. Beach watch: Beaches take pride of place in Varkala. Backed by red laterite cliffs and soaked by rolling waves off the Arabian Sea, the 18

shoreline is impressively scenic and the beach relatively relaxing. The attractive white sand of Papanasham beach lying in a cove between the North and South cliffs has long been associated with ancestor worship. People come in hordes during karkkadavavu (in the month of August) to pay respects to

Womans Era December (Second) 2010

their progenitors. It is a pleasure to saunter on this beach sands in the eventide. Unlike Kovalam, the shops are lined on the clifftop and hence we remain undisturbed. The massive arc-shaped palisades appear most beautiful when the scarlet glow from the sun turns them crimson, thus creating a dreamscape.The blend of the cliffs, brown sand and the sea makes the beach an astounding sight. Steps carved out of the cliff face make for a steep but spectacular climb to the top of the plateau. Thiruvambadi beach is a petite beauty. It is small but picturesque. The shore is lined by a frond of swaying palms and coconut trees that offers shade and beauty which is unique to Kerala. An excellent location for movie moguls and those who love serenity. Again from Thiruvambadi, we ascend to the north side of the cliff. Bamboo and palmthatched cafes, restaurants and souvenir shops jostle

for space here. In this cluster, we see a small board Varkala Cultural Centre (0470-2608793). Out of curiosity and interest, we enter it. Under its a thatched hut where Kathakali performances are held every evenings. Not only is it a live programme which can be viewed at close quarters but even the make-up is done before your very own eyes! (Make-up 5-6.45 pm; performance 6.45-8.15 pm. Tickets at 200 per head). The best view of the beach can be had from the North cliff only. We walk on the promenade at the edge of the cliff towards our hotel. All types of seafood are on display. No need to

visit an aquarium. Most of the establishments overlook the sea and have two levels. Everything is done to woo the tourists, especially the outlanders. On the fringes: Kappil Beach (8 km) has a breathtaking ambience. It is an estuary where the river meets the sea. The road leading to the beach mesmerises us. The coast on one side and the palm-fringed backwaters on the other will bring out the poet in you. Anjengo Fort: Originally built by the Portuguese as a depot to store merchandise and ammunition it was

converted into a fort by the British. But now, only walls remain as testimony. Nearby there is a light house. Ponnumthuruthi island surrounded by Anjengo backwaters, has a century-old Shiva-Parvati temple and can be accessed by a boat. But the hire charges are exorbitant. What else in Varkala? There is nothing much to do in Varkala. Soak in the natural beauty. Watch with awe the the rock formation which is even certified by Geological Survey of India as unique. Varkala is an ideal spot for a quiet laidback holiday. It is fast growing as a suitable alternative to the congested, expensive and muchhyped Kovalam. Getting there: By air: Thiruvananthapuram (55 kms away) is the nearest airport. By train: Most of the trains to Thiruvananthapuram stop at We Varkala.

Womans Era December (Second) 2010




When Indrani walked out on her husband she never knew that she had been taken for a ride by her lover.
By Sharmila Roy Ghosal


he house seemed to have been freshly Suddenly the lady seemed to remember something, painted, a shade of deep grey. Indrani stood By the way, Srinjoybabu visits a bookshop called in front of the gate that had been her home for Readers Paradise, on the second Saturday of every five years before she left it seven years back. month in Mussoorie. If you want to meet him you can A lady working amongst the flower beds saw visit the shop. Mr Mukherjee usually meets his Indrani, stood up and came towards her. Are readers and autographs his books for them, there. you looking for someone? the lady in her Indrani did not leave her name or contact number early thirties and very pleasant to look at, asked her. with the lady, she wasnt sure whether it was For a moment Indrani was taken aback. So necessary. Srinjoy had married again, she thought. Indrani felt a surge of emotions inside her which she couldnt he other teachers and students were waiting for describe. The lady was looking at her Indrani Indrani near Kempty Falls, the biggest and most cleared her throat, Does Srinjoy Mukherjee live beautiful waterfall of Mussoorie. A lot of people here? I mean it is his house, isnt it? were bathing at the foot of the cascade. Indrani Well, the lady smiled. It is his house all right touched the water with her feet but did not feel like but he doesnt live here. He has rented out the taking a bath. Back in the guest house in Mussoorie, house, we are his tenants. My husband is working in Indrani sat near the window in her room and looked a local bank. at the lights of Dehradun shining brightly. She The lady had opened the gate and was thought of a house coloured grey, must inviting Indrani in. The verandah was have been the ladys choice since Srinjoy Right after covered with potted plants. Indrani stared preferred light shades like cream and at the cactus plants she had herself brought white. marriage, from the nursery. Everything was the same, Time spun back. Indrani had just Srinjoy got the mango trees, the weeping willows in the busy trying to completed her MA in history from Calcutta corner of the garden, nothing had really University when an aunt of hers brought a publish his changed. Dehradun was the same and so marriage proposal. Srinjoy Mukherjee was first novel, was the house and the lawn. Barrier. Apart teaching in a college in Dehradun, had a Indrani sipped from the glass of water house in his name left by his late parents from his job offered to her. and was a prolific writer of short stories for in the college, several magazines. Soon, Indrani became If you have an important message for there was Mr Mukherjee you can convey it through Srinjoys wife. writing and me or my husband or, better still, if you Right after marriage, Srinjoy got busy typing leave your name and contact number, I will trying to publish his first novel, Barrier. to be done. give it to him when he next visits Apart from his job in the college, there Dehradun. was writing and typing to be done. Srinjoy Oh, Srinjoy comes here sometimes, does he? forgot birthday and anniversary dates, there was no Indrani looked up at the ladys face. time for the cinema, dinners or outings. Indrani Yes, the corner room at the right and the started feeling lonely and neglected, her tantrums adjoining toilet have been kept locked. increased and she started quarrelling with Srinjoy on Mr Mukherjee stays in it with his son, when he visits the slightest pretext. Dehradun, the lady said. It was a Monday morning, there was invigilation Son? Indrani almost exclaimed. to be done in college. Srinjoy left early but not Yes, the lady nodded, Mr Mukherjee has a before he had given her a cheque to withdraw son who is studying in a hostel in Mussoorie. money from the bank for a washing machine that


Womans Era December (Second) 2010

Indrani wanted, hoping that it would make her happy for some time at least and there would be some peace in the house. Indrani was standing opposite the bank waiting for an auto when a man dashed against her and snatched her purse and started to run away. He had a white scar on his left cheek. Indrani raised an alarm, a smartly dressed young man ran after the thief, caught him, gave him a thrashing and brought the bag back to her. He was a medical representative, Abhijit Bose. Indrani was overwhelmed she had got her money back and would be able to buy a washing machine after all. She invited Abhijit over for tea in the evening the next day. Srinjoy would be at home too.

bhijit did not come in the evening the next day but called on her three days later in the morning when Srinjoy was in college. In the course of conversation Indrani realised that the young man was very witty and observant and after he had left she found that she had enjoyed herself after a very long time. Abhijit was from Rishikesh and worked for a medical company and was temporarily stationed in Dehradun. Days passed and the visits increased. I must get my share of happiness, Indrani thought to herself. Flowers and perfumes made Indrani feel that she was a special person. Srinjoy had never made her feel that way. Their incompatibility also became more and more evident to Indrani. As the days passed, Indrani started to feel a physical longing for Abhijit, she had seen the fire in the young mans eyes. In the meantime, Srinjoys novel, Barrier with its well-rounded characters was a hit with the readers. There were congratulatory messages, letters and newspaper interviews. Instead of rejoicing in

the glory of her husbands success, Indrani felt herself completely cut off from his world. In the meantime, Abhijit gave her a piece of news that shattered her completely, he was being transferred to Solan near Shimla by his company. If you can make it, I will arrange a place for a quiet weekend in Chakrata for the two of us, he suggested. Chakrata was only a few kilometres from Dehradun. The day Indrani had left home never to return was a rainy day in August. She wrote a letter to Srinjoy telling him that she loved someone else and would like to spend her life with him. She also told him to find someone more compatible and never to contact her. Indrani would not do injustice to her husband and indulge in an extramarital affair just for the fun of it. There was still time for the two of them to make a fresh beginning. It was two oclock. Indrani took an auto to the bus stop, she had a bag full of clothes. You must take me to meet your parents, their opinion about me is important, Indrani had told Abhijit. She would stay with her aunt in Raiwala till everything was sorted out and then probably, with the blessings of Abhijits parents and the good wishes of her aunt and mother who was in Kolkata, Indrani would be a bride again for the second time. Minutes were ticking away but there was no sign of Abhijit. His mobile phone was switched off. Strange, Indrani thought, it had never happened before.

wo days back when Indrani had told Abhijit of her decision to leave home forever over the phone, he had been unable to answer. Probably he was overwhelmed by the thought of my wanting to spend my life with him, she thought. Indrani waited for three hours at the bus stop opposite the LIC building. And then took a bus to her aunts house in Raiwala near Haridwar. A month passed but Abhijit did not contact her. It was found that his number when dialled said it does not exist. Indrani was at her wits end. Something must be wrong somewhere, she thought. But what was she to do? It was a Friday morning. Indrani had gone to buy tablets for her aunt who was a widow and ailing. The tablets were in short supply. The shopkeeper did not have them but suggested a shop in Haridwar called Ma Pharmacy near the station, in case of emergency. Indrani really needed the tablets for her aunt, so she took a bus to Haridwar. Actually, madam, the medical representative who brings us the supply of medicine should be here in the afternoon, said the lady in the

Incompatibility was the reason that Indrani had cited, but a little adjustment on her part could have changed the scene and given her a happy married life. The owner of the bookshop Readers Paradise in Mussoorie was very informative. Mr Srinjoy Mukherjee should be here any minute now, he gushed. Today is the second Saturday of the month, I rang him up. He has started from Dhanaulti about half an hour ago. Dhanaulti? Indrani asked, surprised. Dhanaulti was 24 km from Mussoorie. Yes, the man nodded, Mr Mukherjee lives in he lady was helpful since it was a case of Dhanaulti. He has rented a room for his writing work. emergency and checked the number in her However, when he is in Mussoorie to visit his son telephone book. The number you have got who is in a hostel, he spends the day in my house. was his but it is now invalid. Abhijit Bose has a new Son? Indrani looked at the man. How old is number, she said. Indrani wrote down the number. he? The phone rang for some time. Hello, the voice Fourteen years, the owner of the bookshop had a commanding tone about it. nodded his head. Actually, Rohit the boy, is his I... er, Indrani stammered. Could I speak to malis son whom Mr Mukherjee has adopted. Mr Abhijit Bose about some pressure tablets that I Indrani felt a lump in her throat. She require... thought of the chubby baby smiling at her You must be Mrs Lahiri from Ma Incompatibilit in the garden while his father worked Pharmacy. My husband was about to call y was the amongst the flower beds in Dehradun in you. Actually, our daughter is down with reason that their home, more than a decade ago. flu and he has taken her to the doctor. Indrani had A white car stopped in front of the shop, Tomorrow afternoon he will definitely cited, but a a tall man with a slight stoop and grey reach you the listed medicines, the voice streaks in his hair got out. There was a at the other end said. little There was a knock at the door, it was adjustment on surge of people towards him. The man Lipika, Indranis colleague. We are going her part could greeted everyone with a serene smile. Srinjoy had changed, Indrani thought. to the dining hall for dinner, come soon. have changed His last two novels and book of short Indrani smiled and nodded. Her chain the scene and stories had been very well received by the of thoughts continued. She thought of the given her a people. His face wore a relaxed look and man who had snatched her purse. He was happy he looked self-assured. There seemed to be probably an acquaintance of Abhijit for, married life. no tension or trouble in his life any more. come to think of it now, the man was He was at peace with himself. running in such a way that he wanted to be caught. Abhijit wanted to be acquainted with her rinjoy moved forward surrounded by the and so the two men had made a fool of her. people. Indrani turned her face away. Triumph Back from Raiwala, Indrani did not want to stay was his and so was the adulation, Indrani had in Kolkata. There were too many people she knew. no business to be there. She had come because fate A school job in Kalyani a small town situated a few had willed it and she thought she owed him an kilometres from Kolkata, helpful colleagues and apology for the humiliation she had made him go lively students helped her to deal with her hopeless through. But it was too late. life to some extent. She had rented a house and Later at night, Indrani thought of the tall figure brought her widowed mother to stay with her. with a slight stoop moving amongst the green The abyss that she had fallen into was deep. The meadows and deodar forests of Dhanaulti alone but folly of having trusted a man without even knowing completely at peace with himself. that he was married, who wanted a relationship Tomorrow, Indrani would leave with her school without any responsibility, had left a bitter taste in team for Kalyani. She was still Srinjoys wife. There her mouth. Indrani did try to contact Srinjoy. She had been no formal divorce between them but a wanted to apologise for the injustice meted out to reunion was not possible, for time had seeped him but he was unreachable. From the newspapers, through their fingers leaving only a shadow of the she came to know that Srinjoy was working on a past between them. book on tribals and spending all his time with them. We shop and turned to the salesman, When did Abhijit Bose say he would be coming from Rishikesh? Indranis heart missed a beat could it be the same person? She cleared her voice. My aunt knows a medical representative called Abhijit Bose but she has not been able to contact him for a long time. Now we are in dire need of the medicine you see. Indrani quickly blurted out Abhijits number wanting to know whether it was the correct one or not, hoping against hope that it would be the same person, for he had a lot of explanations to give.


Womans Era December (Second) 2010


Q & A

My mother-in-law insists on binding up my baby so that he can barely move. I would like him to remain unbound, so that he can move his limbs freely. Please tell me what is right and what isnt. If I do have to bind him please tell me what is the right way of doing it? Both of you are right. At times the baby needs to be free so that he can exercise his body and at other time especially after a bath or when he needs to sleep, he could be swaddled. Swaddling is a soothing technique that gives the newborn a sense of security, comfort and warmth. Spread a blanket and fold one corner over slightly. Lay the baby face-up on the blanket with his head on the folded corner. Wrap the left corner over the babys body and tuck it underneath. Bring the bottom corner up over the baby's feet. Wrap the right corner around the baby, leaving only the neck and head exposed.

I have a seven year-old son. He has dry skin on his legs and buttocks. This causes itching. He also gets nasal block often. I would like to know what this all is due to and what is the remedy for it? Your son is most probably suffering from allergy which is responsible both for the skin reaction and the nasal block. Please take him to an allergy specialist who will give the requisite treatment. A visit to the skin specialist and ENT doctor is also indicated in case the two are not related. Keeping the skin moisturised.

My daughter suffers from lactose intolerance. Is this a form of allergy? The doctors have advised us to stop giving her milk. I am worried how a child can grow properly without milk. Please advise. Lactose intolerance is due to a deficiency or absence of the enzyme lactase that is necessary to digest the lactose present in milk. As it does not involve the immune system it does not qualify as an allergy. You could give her soya milk in place of milk and as she grows older she can have proteins and calcium from other food sources like eggs, chicken, fish etc. If you are a vegetarian, she can take soy and pulses etc, so do Dr Amrinder Bajaj, MD. not worry.

hen Varun was barely four years old, his parents, siblings and grandparents had all collectively imagined that the child would surely blossom into a genius and would become a celebrity someday. The boy did make a good beginning in the elementary school and his teachers also pampered him because he was found to be precociously intelligent and always raced ahead of other children in the class. While in the fourth standard, however, his enthusiasm in all his

intellectual exhibitions which made others see in him a future genius started to dwindle and his keen interest in his studies also started flagging. Beyond watching him passively, his parents didnt guide him in any way. He started getting entangled in minor troubles and even skirmishes with his class fellows. His rank nosedived in the high school and plummeted deeply in the college to such a degree that even a back-bencher started to look scathingly at him. He is today a clerk in a government institution, eking a living. Its now too late to do anything to make him, though at least an outstanding person. There are

multifarious methods now available to perpetuate youngsters wizardry and facilitate them to flower into a great scientist, doctor or engineer. Todays gifted and glittering children are our greatest natural resources. They are tomorrows great inventors and statesmen, says Abraham H. Lass, principal of Abraham Lincoln High School, Brooklyn, USA, who had taught scores of bright and gifted children. He adds, The pattern of the world we will have is wholly dependent on the type of education we impart to all these children to develop fully their wonderful faculties and talents. Here is a composite picture of the


Sharpening bright young minds.
By T. Rajagopalan

bright and gifted children drawn from various sources which include the renowned Stanford University studies of bright and gifted children, the authoritative work of the late professor, Leta S. Hollingsworth and the facts composed in New York Universitys Counseling Center for Gifted Children. No one child will have all the characteristics enumerated. But if your child is endowed with some of them the chances are that he or she is quite bright. Bright children are early starters. They begin to walk early, sometimes at nine or 10 months. They talk early, well and much. They read early, learning with little or no training. They often teach themselves to read at five or even younger. They possess an insatiable curiosity. They field more questions, intelligently, insistently and persistently than the other children of their age do. They are not satisfied with pat answers. They are especially curious about birth and death and feel a need to have the universe explained to them. They will ask you to apprise them of the stars, moon, sun, planets and so on. Once, when my wife told our granddaughter Abinaya the names as per the almanac of the 27 stars and nine planets, she lost no time in asking her how then was it there were countless numbers of stars in the sky. This happened upwards of a decade ago when stars could be seen in the sky clearly, when there was no light pollution.

Their intellectual abilities are unusual and develop early. They have good memory power and remember everything distinctly, names of various important countries of the world and their capitals, names of present and past cricketers of fame and so on. They demonstrate mature insight into problems and possess an uncanny knack of sizing up people. They have a tremendous capacity for abstract thoughts and the origin of man. They are generally younger than fellow-students of their grade. Their knowledge is usually greater than average in the class and so they tend to seek the companionship of older children studying in higher classes Womans Era

and adults who to them appear persons with abundant knowledge. Their vocabulary is large and uncommon. They are sensitive to words and ideas and link them together. They do not have a predilection for rough group games like football. They prefer shuttlecock and swimming. Generally, the bright children do not excel in activities needing great manual and physical skill. But they are usually healthier, stronger and larger than other children of mediocre abilities.

Gifted children possess varied interests and pursue them evincing keen interest for long periods. They cultivate hobbies like philately and numismatics and collect stamps and coins whenever new ones are introduced. They will thereafter be asking their elders about the figures in them and also their significance. As early as nine or 10 the bright children tend to develop an unusual interest in numbers, atlases and encyclopaedias and in games that call for concentration like chess.

December (Second) 2010


If you think that your child is gifted and bright, make sure of it by having him or her tested by a reliable testing service or psychological clinic. If the tests prove that you are correct in your assessment of your child feel happy. You are going to have a nice time bringing him or her up, for there is nothing so exciting as watching a bright boy or girl develop his or her mental faculties. You and the child, however, confront problems. According to experts, the following will be major obstacles. He or she is likely to have problems at school. This will be partly due to getting bored with humdrum routines, partly owing to interests not challenged by the school curriculum and partly because of feeling misunderstood, overlooked and resented. His or her revolt against the school may manifest itself in restlessness, daydreaming, getting into mischief, cutting classes or a display of defiance against school authorities. The right school and the right teacher can ward off myriad such difficulties. When provided with challenging varied creative activities, the bright child will find delightful outlets for his or her bubbling energies. As they are a cut above other students, such children are going to have social problems. They will need friends of their own age. It will not be easy for them to find friends of their choice, for they are marked children. Their companions will sense it and 30

will let them know in unambiguous terms that they are a different kettle of fish. They will be called genius mockingly, poking fun as regards their vocabulary, ideas and so on, driven by sheer envy.

The cue for you is to see that your children learns to do all things the other children do and enjoy life. You should make them normal and provide the experiences that will give them something in common with other children of that age. Encourage them to take part in group games, both outdoor and indoor and extol them for it. Remember that every child wants to belong, to be accepted by his or her group. If they are good sports they will belong, despite differences. In fact, they will be respected for the differences if they can also do what the others can do. Spare no effort to enlarge further their intellectual horizons by taking them to zoos, museums, archaeological places and so on and explain all that are there. Some time ago, when I visited the Nehru Zoological Park in Hyderabad, many visitors were curiously looking at a giraff there. After a very long time this animal was replaced and I saw a host of children enjoying the spectacle of this creature not native to India. You can help your bright children by observing these golden rules: Accept your children matter-offactly. Do not let them think that they Womans Era

are out of the ordinary. Encourage them, provide them every opportunity to stimulate their interests and spare no effort to make them try their wings. Watch them grow, but dont do so by excessively praising them. Let them develop. Do not project your own frustrations on your children. Praise them for what they are, even if they are not what you wish them to be. Their joy will be in developing their own innate interests. Let them be children, taking the slow taste of the joys of childhood that are their due. Do not push them into adult activities until they are made for them and refrain from pressuring them. Teach them to relax and enjoy simple things and people. Answer all their questions even if they appear somewhat absurd to an adult mind. Give them regular duties and responsibilities. Do not let them develop a superior attitude towards home chores or a patronising outlook towards others. Allow them to pursue their hobbies. Lifelong interests and careers often develop out of those daily activities. Some time ago, I read an account about a Delhi-based youth who was intensely interested in playing cricket but his father, a rice trader, wanted him to follow in his footsteps. Whenever he heard that he had spent the evening after returning from the school playing cricket the father grew furious and on one occasion he even thrashed the boy. But with the staunch support of his mother, he went on playing cricket in the evenings with his childhood friend. His name is Virender Sehwag and his friends name is Ashish Nehra. Give bright kids books aplenty. Stop worrying about the inferior books they read or even comics. Few, if any, bright children get permanently caught by the comic books. Give them all your love and understanding as they need every bit of it. In this respect they are like all We other children.

December (Second) 2010

I got married four months ago to a man whom I have known since childhood. He is the son of my fathers best friend. He told his parents that he would like to marry me and both my family and his were overjoyed when I too agreed. But marriage has brought problems. First, I do not feel any of the excitement that a newly- wed usually does. Secondly, though my husband is very considerate, loving and full of compliments for my looks and my housekeeping skills, when he sees a beautiful girl, he openly appreciates her beauty and follows her with his eyes till she is out of sight. I dont like this. Is our marriage a failure? I am 23 years old and my husband is 27. Since you have known your husband all your life, it is not surprising that you dont feel the kind of excitement you would have felt if you hadnt known your husband well. But on the other side, you are also sure that you are not going to get any unpleasant surprises! And why on earth should you feel that your marriage may be a failure? Your husband obviously loves you since he would not have told his father that he wanted to marry you otherwise. He is also considerate, loving, full of compliments.. wow! And you are not satisfied? Just because he likes looking at beautiful

Soon after my marriage (an arranged one) I came to know that my wife had earlier been in love with a classmate of hers. When I asked her, she did not deny it, but said that it had been a childish infatuation that she had got over. But I was not able to forgive her and wanted to leave her. However, my parents persuaded me to stay in the marriage. Six years have passed and we now have a three-year-old daughter. My wife is a good mother and even a good wife. But I am not able to forgive her. I am always depressed. Should I leave her now? Few of us grow up without having a crush on someone. Sometimes our feelings are reciprocated and sometimes they

are not. These childish and youthful infatuations often do not last into adulthood, but they help us mature and grow up. If you are honest with yourself, you will remember crushes and youthful affairs you yourself had and the romantic dreams you dreamt. It is unfair of you to punish your wife for a youthful indiscretion. The crush or affair was before you entered her life and therefore has nothing to do with you. If you wanted to leave your wife, you should have done it as soon as you came to know about her affair. You gave in to your parents then and it would be very foolish of you to rake up that old matter now especially now that you have a child. Grow up, forget the past and enjoy the present. of dressing to see which one you like the best. In the West, sex is treated like any other hunger and no one thinks the less of any woman who has had numerous sexual partners before she settles down. In fact, she often discusses these with her boyfriend/ husband. But India hasnt yet become like that and virginity is usually preserved till marriage.


girls? That too, after discussing their looks with you? Grow up, my friend! You are very lucky and you should always remember that. Also remember that you agreed to this match without being coerced into it in any way.

Is having sex before marriage wrong? I am a 23-year-old working girl and this is a topic that often comes up when I am with my friends. Some of us feel that it is wrong, others are scared of possible problems that could arise, but many of us feel that it is OK. After all sex is just a hunger like any other and it should be satisfied! Sex is a hunger all right, but it is not like other hungers. It is a far more complicated hunger and has not just physical but also emotional and psychological elements. Once you have had sex, you are changed for life and things can never be the same again. This means that if you have sex with the wrong person or with many people, you could regret it for the rest of your life. There are also, of course, the complications that could arise---mainly sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. So having sex with multiple partners it not like trying out different cuisines or styles Womans Era December (Second) 2010

I have thin lips and this makes me very self-conscious. I have read that many actresses with sexy lips have had either collagen injections or cosmetic surgery. I want to have some such treatment and my parents can easily well pay for it. But they refuse to give me both the permission and the money and say that I should be thinking of my studies and not such things. I am very unhappy. Should I go ahead and have the treatment and pay for it with my allowance? I am 16 years old. Your parents are right. Sixteen is the age to be having fun with friends and to be thinking of making a good future for yourself not the age to be thinking of looking sexy. Theres plenty of time for that in the future! Childhood and the teenage years pass fast. Make the best of them. 31

I have been married for six years and have been physically and psychologically abused every day of these years. My husband is very hottempered and the slightest thing sets him off. It is only after two or three days of beatings and insults that he cools down. Both my parents and my in-laws have tried to reason with him, but to no avail. Now, my four-year-old daughter has started exhibiting symptoms of anxiety and tension. This is causing me great worry. During these six years I have done my postgraduation in Commerce and am confident that I can get a job. Now, I want to leave my husband. My parents are against this because they say that society has no place for a woman without a husband or a child without a father. I am not interested in divorcing my husband or remarrying. I just want my daughter to be safe and normal. What should I do? You should pick up your daughter and run away as fast as you can from the House of Horror you have been living in for six years. You should tell your parents that the world and even India has changed and no woman needs to put up with abuse today. If your husband comes and threatens you or beats you, you can go to the police and file a case against him. If he asks you to return to him, you should insist that he first undergoes counselling for his excessive anger.


the fact that your marriage hasnt been consummated cannot be laid on your stressful jobs. If you both wanted or needed to have sex, you would certainly have found the time for it. There is more than meets the eye here and you must first deal with that before you think of anything else. By now you must have an idea of what is wrong. One or both of you must have a low sex drive; perhaps one or both of you is attracted to a person of the same sex; perhaps one or both of you has a physical problem, to give only a few of the possibilities. See a doctor, consult a psychiatrist, do whatever needs to be done to get over your sexual problem. Save your marriage first and then think of having a child.

I am 24 years old and have been married for two years, My husband is 28. Now, we want to have a child, but our problem is that we havent yet consummated our marriage. The reason is that both of us have stressful jobs at which we have to work long hours. I am thinking of quitting my job so that I can concentrate on my children when I have them. Or should I wait till our other problem is solved. I am glad that you accept that you both have a problem! The blame for 34

My husband and I have been married for ten years and we are childless. The doctors say that my husband is sterile and that I too have a weak uterus. My husband feels that we should accept this and just learn to live without children. But I want to adopt a child. My husband says that he can never love another mans child; I feel that giving a poor orphan or abandoned child a good life is something that more of us should do. This issue is causing a lot of tension at home and we are arguing and quarrelling a lot. But my husband is adamant. I have a good job and earn more than enough to support a child. Should I tell my husband that I will adopt a child and that he need not be involved in any way with it even while we live as husband and wife? I cannot even think of leaving my husband because I love him very much. But I desperately need a child. You cannot force your husband to accept and love a child and without acceptance and love from its father, a child cannot grow up happy and selfconfident. Again, since you are married, you cannot adopt a child if your husband doesnt cooperate, sign papers, etc. Single women can adopt these days, Womans Era December (Second) 2010

but you are not one. This doesnt mean that you need to give up. You can try and explain to your husband how empty you feel without a child. You can request him to talk to people who have adopted children; you can take him to an orphanage so that he sees how lovable the children there are and how they long for homes and parents of their own; you can ask him to go with you for counselling so that any issues he has which make him so adamantly against adoption are dealt with.. However if he just will not change his stance, there is little you can do--since you love him and cannot think of leaving him. But even if you dont adopt a child you can be a volunteer in an orphanage in your spare time and have the joy of being in the company of children. If you go there regularly, the children there will also bond with you.

I have been married for 1 1/2 years and my husband and I are very happy. But there is one thing that both intrigues me and scares me a bit. This is the fact that when we have sex, my feet are what my husband finds most attractive about me! My friends have told me that my feet are very beautiful. They are shapely and delicate but I find my husbands obsession with them very strange. He never fondles my breasts or my private parts he is interested only in my feet. Recently, he has begun to go one step further. He wants to wear my socks and caress my footwear! Is this normal? Your husband has a foot fetish. A fetish is a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked, sometimes to an abnormal degree, to a particular object, part of the body, etc. A fetish is all right as long as it is within bounds and doesnt affect other aspects of the persons life. When it begins to, the person may need psychiatric treatment or counselling. Your husbands fetish doesnt seem excessive or abnormal now. So dont worry.

Which is Your Type?

You make the style and then your style shapes your hair. But you need to have the right calculation and the combination.



a Hairstyling is not ng fleeting art. After lo yle is en a st experimentation wh ys. invented, it sta








Great options to toxic synthetic chemical concoctions.

By Aparna Pradhan
make it a favourite choice for therapeutic purposes. When used as a part of daily regimen, aloe vera nourishes the skin and helps to keep it supple, healthy and glowing. Medicinal uses: Works like magic to over burns, cuts, wounds and rashes. It speeds up the regenerative process for a healthier skin. Researchers have proved its efficacy in healing wounds faster.

ave you ever wondered why, in spite of the rapid development of technology, people are reverting to the old, traditional systems of health-care using medicinal plants to cure diseases, especially those related to skin? When it comes to taking care of the skin, herbs have become the first choice of people because they are natural, safe and healthy in comparison with toxic synthetic chemicals often found in the skin-care products available in the market. Chemical-based skin-care products pose a threat to your skin, and long-term usage may lead to loosening of the skin, irritation, premature ageing, accelerated signs of ageing, etc. The herbs have no added preservatives or chemicals. They provide revitalising nutrients and antioxidants that help you keep your skin beautiful and ageless. Their excellent ability to maintain the skins

beauty and repairing is really praiseworthy. Mother Nature has gifted us innumerable herbs with mystic properties to take care of beauty and health as well. Let Mother Nature take care of your skin so that you have a soft, glowing and youngerlooking skin. Herbs are the best cure for skin problems like acne, pimples, rashes, wounds, psoriasis, seborrhoea, eczema, dry scaly skin and other skin disorders. Given below is a brief account of herbs like aloe vera, rosemary, neem and amla that can take care of your skin and help you maintain a soft and supple healthy skin.

Aloe vera tops the list of medicinal plants when it comes to skin care. Aloe veras medical reputation dates back thousands of years. The antibiotic, analgesic, growthstimulating and astringent properties

Fights skin diseases and does wonders for skin inflammation, rashes, allergies, eczema and seborrhoea. Offers protection against sun damage and reduces blemishes. The gel is effective for treating sunburns. Several studies have revealed that aloe vera showed marked results in producing remission in skin cancers. It helps prevent damage from X-rays and other forms of radiation. It moisturises the skin and adds to its elasticity. Keeps the skin well hydrated. Removes the dead skin cells. It is great for dry skin and helps to keep it well hydrated. When applied topically, it reduces wrinkles and fine lines, repairs the damaged skin tissue. It is excellent for stretch marks after pregnancy. Helps to reduce scarring.

therapeutic uses and health benefits. This herb can take care of skin health and treat various skin ailments. Medicinal uses in skin care: Applied to the skin, rosemary essential oil helps to strengthen the capillaries, increases blood circulation and thus has a rejuvenating effect. It restores elasticity to the skin. Rosemary extract is known to prevent the age-related changes in the skin such as wrinkles and fine lines. Regular massage with rosemary oil takes care of ageing and helps to rejuvenate the dull and lifeless skin. The rich antioxidant profile of the herb slows down the ageing process.

powder and make a smooth paste. Apply this paste to a clean face and neck. Do not put it around the eyes. Leave it on for 15-20 minutes. Wash it off using cold and warm water alternately. Aloe vera mask for all types of skin: Make a paste of equal quantities of aloe vera gel, almond (finely ground) and one teaspoonful of honey. Apply the mixture to your face and wash off after 15 minutes. This mask is good for exfoliating mature skin. Available forms of aloe vera: Aloe vera is available as a gel, lotion, spray, liquid, cream and in capsule form. Aloe vera gel can be taken orally. Hailed for its skin-soothing and anti-ageing properties, the cosmetic industry is using aloe vera in many skin-care products. Aloe vera is the most popular herb used in cleansing, face washes, massage creams, sunscreens and anti-acne products. Caution: Aloe vera can be taken orally but do not eat the raw gel from the leaves. Choose the product of a reputed company dealing in herbs.

Herbal remedies: Apply aloe vera gel 15 minutes before going out in the sun for sun protection. Cut open a leaf of the plant and remove the gel, or you may buy the gel available in the market and apply it to burns, cuts and wounds to get instant relief. Aloe vera face mask: Looking for a face mask to moisturise, hydrate, soothe and refresh your skin? Try the aloe vera honey mask. Mix one tablespoonful each of aloe vera juice or pulp and honey and apply the mixture to the face and leave it on to for 15 minutes. Wash with water and admire the soft, supple wellmoisturised face. The mixture can be used on all types of skin but works best for dry and sensitive skin. It also works to reduce the redness and inflammation on the affected area. Aloe vera mask for dry skin: An aloe vera, avocado and green tea mask is meant for dry, flaky skin. Peel avocado and take out two tablespoonsfuls of pulp. Mash it and add one tablespoonful of aloe vera gel and one teaspoonful of green tea 40

The anti-microbial property of the herb has been used for centuries to treat eczema, dermatitis, psoriasis, acne and blemishes.

Rosemary, a small aromatic herb, has been held in high esteem as a herb to promote good health and long life. Rosemary oil is known for its Womans Era December (Second) 2010

Available forms of rosemary: Dried whole rosemary In capsule form Volatile oil for external use only (not orally) Fresh and dried leaves for making tea and liquid extracts. Rosemary is a popular ingredient in natural skin-care products both in the form of essential oil and as a tincture (infusion) of fresh or dried leaves.

Neem powder is helpful in treating athletes foot. Neem can be used for treating fungal and bacterial skin infections. Neem skin-care products soothe and moisturise the dry, cracked skin. It is great for rejuvenating facial skin and gives an instant glow to the face. Regular use tones the skin and slows down the aging process. It maintains a healthy glowing skin.

its amazing effects on hair, amla is equally beneficial to the skin as well. Amla is a storehouse of nutrients needed for a healthy skin. It is great for keeping the skin young and beautiful, since it fights aging. If you want to stay young and beautiful include amla in your daily regimen. Medicinal uses: It nourishes the skin, improves complexion and skin texture. Amla juice helps revive elasticity of the skin. Amla moisturises the skin, cleanses the tissues of the toxins and protects the skin against any kind of infection. It prevents dryness of the skin. It is a wonder herb for curing dryness. Regular use of amla promotes glowing skin and delays wrinkles or loosening of the skin. Amla saar (pure amla juice) is used in the treatment of acne and other skin disorders. It helps to clear pimples and acne. Amla powder acts as an astringent and tones the skin. Herbal remedies: Take one tablespoonful of amla powder and blend it well with lukewarm water. Apply it to your face and rinse off after 15 minutes. Admire a wellcleansed and glowing face. Taking amla juice regularly can bring a natural glow to the face. Amla powder mixed with jasmine oil gives relief from itching. Say goodbye to acne and pimples. Drink amla juice to which one teaspoonful of honey is added for at least a month. Acne and pimples will vanish completely and you will be the proud owner of a beautiful and radiant face.


Neem, often called the wonder herb, has been used to treat innumerable health problems. It is like a magical herb for the skin and has been used to treat all sorts of skin problems. Anti-allergic, antifungicidal, anti-inflammatory, antiparasitic and germicidal properties make neem an excellent herb for treating skin problems. It is natures best blood purifier. Neem has proved to be beneficial in skin disorders like warts, scabies, psoriasis, eczema, acne, pimples and dry skin. Neem has powerful skin rejuvenating qualities and absorbs quickly into the skin. The compounds present in neem have the ability to ward off many types of cancer. Medicinal uses in skin care Neem is used in acne treatment. Taken orally and applied topically, it helps in getting rid of acne in just 15-20 days. You get back your acne-free, glowing face. Neem has a very important role to play in treating psoriasis. Regular use of neem capsules for 3-4 months is helpful in clearing away psoriasis lesions. The innumerable healthy compounds found in neem help in clearing up eczema more effectively than prescription products. Neem oil obtained from seeds forms a useful application in ringworm and scabies.

Herbal remedies: Prepare a paste of fresh neem leaves and apply on blackheads or acne. Leave till it starts drying. Wash off before it dries completely to avoid irritation. This is a very effective remedy and regular use for a month will give you an acne- or blackheadsfree glowing face. Boil neem leaves in water and use that water for washing your face and bring back the natural glow. For a beautiful glowing face make a paste of one tablespoonful of neem powder with lukewarm water and apply the paste to your face and neck. Rinse off after 15 minutes. Create a herbal face pack by combining neem powder, amla powder and Fullers earth. Available forms of neem: Neem is available in the form of powder, capsules, dried leaves and oil. Neembased creams, soaps and other cosmetic products are available in health stores.


Amla, the tiny berry, is a great gift from Nature. Its contribution to health, beauty and longevity is a well-established fact. It is believed to be the most powerful rejuvena ting herb. The herb has been held in high esteem for its medicinal uses. The fruit has anti-bacterial, antiviral, anti-oxidative and antiinflammatory properties. Known for Womans Era December (Second) 2010

Available forms of amla: Capsules, powder, decoction and infusion of leaves and seeds, essential oil and dried amla fruit. amla is being used in many herbal cosmetic products like soaps, face washes, creams and shampoos. We 41



excusable. Single children can make a host of friends of both sexes very easily. This is definitely more healthy than getting close to relatives of the opposite sex. Do make other friends, and encourage your cousin to do the same. You can still remain friends but do not exclude other friends. If you do this, surely your mother will be satisfied. From the time I was two years old, my mother and grandparents have taken care of me as my parents divorced each other at that time. I have grown up into a balanced, happy, intelligent teenaged girl and its all thanks to my moms loving care. But now, I want to know my father, and if possible meet up with him. But all my queries are stonewalled by the elders who simply tell me never ever to meet him. Persistent questions reduce my mom to tears. Dont you feel I have a right to know more about my parent? I am 15 years old. It looks as if it was a painful and messy divorce which has left your mother emotionally scarred. It is best not to broach the subject with her. Try to have a conversation with your grandparents in a calm and reasonable way. Assure them that it is not your intention to in anyway upset your mother, but you would like to know. If they contend that you are too young to understand the issue, it is best you let the matter rest for the time being. When the time is right, I am sure all the information will be kept before you. There may be a real fear that your father will steal you away from them. Or cause trouble in some way. Deal with the matter in a very empathetic and tactful way. We are two very close friends in class 9 of a girls convent school. My friend is a very friendly and popular girl but she always considers me her best friend. The only problem I have with her is that she simply cannot keep a secret. Whenever I tell her something, she passes this on to someone. This makes me furious. When I scold her, she tells me innocently that she had not thought it was something she had to keep to herself! This habit of being a blabbermouth is straining our friendship. Now, I hesitate to confide my innermost feelings and opinions to her. Our conversation remains very superficial and unsatisfactory. I too miss our sharing of confidences. Is there some way out? It is clear you want to save this friendship by any means as she is dear to you. Is it possible for her to change her ways? She comes across as a simple soul who shares everything with others! Perhaps, till you are assured that she is more discreet, you must stop telling confidential matters to her. Or, before divulging something, impress upon her firmly that it is confidential and she must not reveal it to anyone else without your permission.This could restrain her. Also, if she feels that her irresponsibility is jeopardising your friendship, she will hopefully endeavour to keep a better control over her tongue. If this does not work, you must refrain from telling her secrets. Find another confidante or keep a personal diary to record your thoughts and feelings as a kind of release. Retain the friendship but restrain yourself when talking to her.

Q & A
I am a 14-year-old attractive school girl who is her parents only child. From my childhood, I have been very close to my maternal cousin who is exactly a week older than me. He too is a single child. And perhaps this drew us together as playmates and confidantes. Some days ago, my mother advised me not to be so close to him as I am now no longer a child but a growing woman. She feels such a relationship can cause trouble. Further, tongues will wag. I think this is stupid, and I told her so. He is like a brother to me. I do love him but in a platonic way. He too concurs with my view and refuses to have anything come between us. What do you advise? It is not difficult to sense your mothers apprehensions. Teenagers whose sexuality is awakening with a hyper surge of hormones during the adolescent years can easily get themselves involved in torrid relationships with the opposite sex. Teenagers are likely to become physically mature before they gain emotional maturity and responsibility. This is the crux of the matter. Even though you honestly describe the relationship as platonic, there may come a moment when this suddenly changes. Incest is more common than spoken about. It simply gets swept under the carpet lest it creates problems in families. It is understandable that you two have become close due to your single child status. Still, it is not 42

Womans Era December (Second) 2010

M Block GK - I Tel. 4654 8173

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Adding insult to Injury

Much ado about nothing? By Savita Singh
go? he whispered to me. I was really taken aback. Here, my house had been robbed, and this man wanted the presentation finished. Anyway, when I finally reached home, it was to find quite a small crowd gathered outside it. Apparently, our neighbour had noticed our open door. A little suspicious, she had come out and rung the bell. A gruff voice had demanded from inside, Who is there? Open the door, who are you? our neighbour had demanded. A young, short man had opened the door and looked belligerently at her. Yes? he had demanded. Where is the owner of the house? our neighbour had asked. Hes gone to work. And where is the memsahib? She has gone out, and the man had shut the door.

elieve me, this is a true story. It happened to me. I did not know what an important person I am until my house had been robbed. Let me begin at the beginning. I work for a well-known news channel in the capacity of the production in-charge. We had moved to Indirapuram a year ago into one of the new flats in a new high-rise there. My wife had gone on a short visit to her parents place. There was an annual presentation scheduled in the office. We had all been very busy preparing for it. The D-Day arrived. There were about 20 of us in the room. My turn for the presentation was about to come when my cellphone rang. Usually, I switch off my cell-phone in such meetings, but I had forgotten to do so that day. I automatically picked it up. A very excited voice said, Sir, it is me speaking! Who? I asked. Shreedharan! I dont know any Shreedharan, I retorted and was about to switch the cellphone off when the man said, Sir, I am the guard, the guard in your building. Your house has been robbed! Please come home immediately! What? I exclaimed. My boss was by now looking daggers at me. I am sorry, sir, but that is the guard in my building. Apparently, my house has been robbed. They want me to come back home immediately, I whispered to him. He looked at me disapprovingly as if it was my fault that my house had been robbed. Cant you finish your presentation in 15 minutes and then

ur neighbour had been uneasy. Something was not right. But, being alone, she did not want to challenge the man, whoever he was. She went back but kept standing outside her house. After some time, the man emerged from our flat, which was on the 8th floor, and went down the stairs, all the while talking to someone over his cellphone. Alarm bells went off in our neighbours head. Why would someone take the stairs when there was a perfectly good lift? She rang up the guard who sat in the foyer of the building. She told him to ring me as she did not have my number. She was sure our house had been robbed. By the time I reached home, there was a small excited crowd in front of our door.

work do you do that so many people from above are giving orders for action?) I told him the name of the news channel I work for. The man looked at me knowingly. No wonder they all have got ants in their pants. And the man went leaving behind quite a few awe-struck neighbours and a very bemused me. After that, for the remaining few days of my wifes absence, I was deluged by invitations for dinners, lunches, and breakfasts. My neighbour, the one who had discovered the theft and who had never even called on me, insisted on stuffing me with food and tea. Frankly speaking, the poor thief had actually got hold of nothing and I had profited immensely. But the story did not end here. The climax came a few months later when they apprehended the thief and our neighbour and I had to testify in court against him. When all the testimonies and procedures were over and the judge was about to pass sentence, the thief held up his hand and requested that he be allowed to say something. As he seemed quite well educated, the judge allowed him to speak. Looking most indignant and hurt he I believe said, Sahab, itney bade log apney ghar hen the man got down to business. there has main kuch bhi nahin rakhtey. Mere haath He started calling out to the various kuch bhi nahin laga. (Sahab, such big people. Kaun security ka in-charge been a people and they keep nothing in their hai yahaan par? (Who is in charge of homes. I got nothing.) I did not even break security here?) he barked out. One man break-in in into his house. He had left the door open. stepped forward. The policeman gave him To add insult to injury, they pulled all the a tight slap. your flat. strings to get me caught, for what? I stole Saala! Is this your security? nothing. There was nothing to steal. Kya Just then, a policeman came and What have log hain? Insey jyada tou hamarey paas saluted. they taken, hai. (What kind of people are they? We Sir, van aa gaye hai. (Sir, the van has have got more than what they have.) arrived.) sir? The judge looked bemused. He turned Ley ja is saaley ko! (Take away this and looked at me. I looked back idiot!) sheepishly. Yes, In my hurry for the presentation I Duty par guard kaun tha? (Who was the guard had forgotten to lock the door that morning. And the on duty?) thief had actually got nothing as my wife and I had Another lean and thin man was pushed forward. made it our policy never to keep any jewellery or too He also received a tight slap. Guard duty par so much money in the house. raha tha kya? (Were you asleep on your guard duty?) Ley jao is ko bhi.(Take him too.) hatever little we had had, my wife had taken Electrician ko bulao. (Call the electrician.) I want along with her. Actually, I had not even the film from the CCTV in the foyer. The thiefs photo telephoned the police. After I had left the should be on that. presentation, my news channel colleagues had Unfortunately, it was discovered that the CCTV phoned the DIG in Lucknow, who had rung up his was not working. So, in went the electrician also, with a tight slap and an abuse hurled at him as well. counterpart in Gaziabad and hence the arrival of Inspector Wagley so promptly on my doorstep. Then, the man turned to me. You dont worry, The poor judge could hardly punish the man for sir. Well get to the bottom of this very fast. After all, stealing nothing, and entering an open house. the orders have come from above. Par aap yeh to Ultimately, he sentenced him to a week in prison for bataiye ki aap kaam kya kartey hain ki itney uupar trespassing! waley order dey rahein hain? (Just tell me, what We Everyone was firing questions at me. What has been stolen? Have you called the police? Where is your wife? I was scared that they might have murdered one of you inside, but I was alone, said our neighbour, the one who had noticed the robbery. Ill have to check, but there was nothing too valuable there, I confessed. Ill ring the police now, I said but before I could lift the phone in marched a hefty man dressed in civilian clothes. He waved a police ID card in my face. I believe there has been a break-in in your flat. What have they taken, sir? But who are you? I asked puzzled Inspector Waghley, crime branch. But I have not phoned the police yet. Hum to bahar jaa rahey they par hamain tou uupar sey order mila aur hum chaley aaye, sir. Aap chinta mat kariye. Aapka kaam ho jaayega. (I was going out but the orders came from above, so I came here. Dont worry, sir, your work will be done.)

Womans Era December (Second) 2010


The golden words you cant forget.


By Indumathi Arasu
salute was not at all needed. My screams were clung to my mom. I could hear her say dont worry... Came the nights when I fell asleep trying to put the little one close to me. Every night exactly at 12, I could see a twinkling pair of eyes which refused to close, flailing arms which refused to be still until the wee hours of the morning... One day early in the morning (I had not slept for five nights), I called my mother and cried my heart out. At once came the golden words. Dont worry... Came the time when I had to send my princess off to school. Amidst a lot of crying and cajoling I deposited my little one in school. We could hear her crying until we settled in the car I looked up only to find one single tear falling from none other than my husbands eyes. With a heavy heart I called my mother up only to hear her say, Dont worry... Came the onset of teens. My daughter refused to dress the way I wanted her to, fought with me over the rules I had set for her. Finally one day she said, Mom I hate you. Out went the call to my mother only to hear her say, Dont worry... My daughter finished college. I was with her all through... I experienced her disappointments when she came last in her sport races, her feeling of deja vu when she won the first prize for her painting contest. She made me proud when she landed herself in a good job and then got married. Hang on. Do I hear the phone ringing. You know what? That is my daughter crying her heart out... her baby has kept her awake for the last two nights and she has an important meeting to attend and to top it all, her maid has not turned up. Out came the familiar golden We words, Dont worry...

he greatest moment of my life was when I came to know that I was expecting my baby. It was a wonderful feeling and then came the realisation that my life as a girl had come to an end. On to my fifth month I realised for the first time that there were so many pregnant women all over the place; in the marketplace, in the mall, they were all over the place like little termites over an old rotting piece of log. My erudite husband had a very appropriate word for this selective perception which meant that there had been pregnant women on earth since Adam and Eve but it is only now that I have started realising that they are there. The new sensation of not being able to see my toes while standing straight, swollen feet, aching back came...and for all my aches and pains my mother came out with her golden advice, Dont worry, you will not even remember this once it is over. My baby was born king style or should I say queen style? The 21-gun

Womans Era December (Second) 2010

I know you will probably call me crazy because the query is for my daughter who is 11. I feel she already has open pores on her nose and cheeks which seems to be something she inherited from my husbands family. I want her to learn early about how to combat it so she can control it. What is the right way to introduce her to skincare and make-up? As a mother it is natural that you worry about your young daughter and some genetic problems need to be tackled early like open pores and hairy skins for girls. Even if the size of pores cannot be controlled if you ingrain the process of keeping her skin clean, she will benefit. Use simple home-made products that are gentle cleansers based on ground almond, rice powder mixed with a bit of rose water to gently cleanse her face every alternate day. It will not lead to white and black heads the two biggest problems of open pores.

the body coming to terms with changes. Basic cleanliness and skin care would help you in keeping your skin free from pollution and other vagaries. Dont blindly use products to stop the pimples but tackle the underlying problems of these pimples. Use cleansers that are not harsh and use fruit-based packs for replenishment of the oil balance.

Q & A

I am 25 years old and about to get married. I have never paid much attention to skin care, etc. but would like to take some action to look and feel good. What should I do? If you have never done any skin care regime you will benefit with a whole body and face treatment miraculously well. Just select a good therapist and enter into a whole package deal that includes body massages, exfoliation and nourishing massages that make your skin soft and make it glow from inside. It would be best to select somebody with whom you can even discuss your marriage functions make-up and hair-style details as well, to reach one package. If doing so at home, make a chart of weekly care and monthly rituals and pay attention to your whole body and hair, not just your face.

I am 19 and lead an active life. I dont wear make-up and do regular exercises but my skin is becoming increasingly oily. I have never had pimple problems so far but now feel that if I do not deal with this problem it will escalate and make my skin worse. What do I do? At your age oiliness of the skin could mean something as simple as

I have sensitive skin but like to use a scrubber daily as it makes me feel fresh and clean but it leaves my skin red for an hour or so. Is it okay to use facial scrub every day? If not, then how to make my skin clean? When you have sensitive skin you need to be careful about the quality of the product and how you apply it as well. Exfoliation for sensitive skin needs to be softer and delicate and also when you use it you should use small motions meant to soothe rather than to abrasively clean. Also after an exfoliating treatment you must use skin-calming products, even something as simple as cool rose water or a cucumber water splash will help you.

Vanilla and almond cake

Sweet tooth
You must have VANILLA AND tasted so many ALMOND CAKE INGREDIENTS: sweets. But these 250 gm maida - flour 1/ level 4 will taste with a 1 eggs tsp baking powder 3 220 gm sugar difference. 200 ml oil
By Roma Ghosh
3-4 drops vanilla essence 200 gm almonds cut into small pieces For the decoration: 200 gm whipped cream 2-3 tsp sugar - powdered 1 drop vanilla essence silver edible cake decoration balls METHOD Sift together the flour and the baking powder and keep aside. Grind the sugar in a mixer to a fine powder. Add the oil, essence and the eggs and run the mixer, so that the mixture blends well


together. Blend till the mixture is smooth and remove to a mixing bowl. Add the maida with the baking powder a little at a time into the beaten liquid mixture and blend gently with a wooden spoon. Also mix in the chopped almonds. Grease a round baking dish and pour this mixture into the baking dish and bake in a preheated oven at 180 degree C for 35 to 40 minutes. Insert a skewer to see if the cake is done. If the skewer comes out clean when inserted in the middle of the cake the cake is ready. Put off the oven and allow the cake to cool in the oven for 5-7 minutes. Bring the cake out of the oven and allow it to cool completely. Whip the sugar into the cream and also mix in the essence. Spread this icing over the cake and decorate with silver balls or any other cake decoration.


INGREDIENTS: 250 gm maida - flour 11/4 level tsp baking powder 220 gm sugar 200 gm thick curd plain curd which is not sour and has no water content 200 ml oil 100 gm seedless dates cut into small pieces 100 gm walnuts 11/2 tbsp chocolate powder METHOD Sift together the flour, chocolate powder and the baking powder and keep aside. Grind the sugar in a mixer to a fine powder. Add the oil, the curd and run the mixer so that the mixture

blends well together. Blend till the mixture is smooth and remove to a mixing bowl. Add the maida with the baking powder and chocolate a little at a time into the beaten liquid mixture and blend gently with a wooden spoon. Also mix in the dates and the walnuts. Grease a round baking dish and pour this mixture into the baking dish and bake in a preheated oven at 180 degree C for 35 to 40

minutes. Insert a skewer to see if the cake is done. If the skewer comes out clean when inserted in the middle of the cake the cake is ready. Put off the oven and allow the cake to cool in the oven for 5-7 minutes.


INGREDIENTS: 200 gm maida - flour 1 level tsp baking powder 180 gm sugar 5-6 drops mango essence 150 gm thick curd plain curd which is not sour and has no water content 200 ml oil 100 gm mango pulp For serving: 60-70 gm cheese spread

Mango muffins with cheese spread

Chocolate date and walnut pudding

METHOD Sift together the flour, and the baking powder and keep aside. Grind the sugar in a mixer to a fine powder. Add the oil, the curd, the essence and the mango pulp and run the mixer so that the mixture blends well together. Blend till the mixture is smooth and remove to a mixing bowl. Add the maida with the baking powder a little at a time into the beaten liquid mixture and blend gently with a wooden spoon. Grease muffin trays and fill each cup half way with the cake mixture and place in a preheated oven at 180 degree C for 20 minutes. Insert a skewer to see if the muffins are baked. If the skewer comes out clean when inserted in the middle of each muffin, the muffins are ready. Put off the oven and allow the cake to cool in the oven for 5-7 minutes. Once the muffins have cooled to room temperature spread the cheese spread and serve.

Grind the sugar in a mixer to a fine powder. Add the oil, the curd, essence, colour and run the mixer so that the mixture blends well together. Blend till the mixture is smooth and remove to a mixing bowl. Add the maida with the baking powder a little at a time into the beaten liquid mixture and blend gently with a wooden spoon. Also mix in the chocos and after this try not to blend the mixture so that the chocos do not break. Grease a round baking dish and pour this mixture into the baking dish and bake in a preheated oven at 180 degree C for 30 to 35 minutes. Insert a skewer to see if the cake is done. If the skewer comes out clean when inserted in the middle of the cake the cake is ready. Put off the oven and allow the cake to cool in the oven for 5-7 minutes.

Baked chocolate cheese cake

into small pieces 900 gm cream cheese 200 gm sugar 4-5 drops vanilla essence 3 eggs 200 ml dahi thick without water 1 tbsp coco or chocolate powder For the base/crust: 2 cups crushed biscuits any sweet variety 2 tbsp saltless butter METHOD For the base: Crush the biscuits and place in a bowl. Mix in the butter with your finger to resemble bread crumbs. Use these to line the base of a cheese cake spring tin. Place this in a fridge till set 1 hour or so. The base for the cheese cake is ready. Melt the chocolate for the cheese cake by placing the chocolate bits in a dish. Hold the dish over a bowl of hot water and begin to melt the chocolate. Remove this melted chocolate to a mixing bowl. Beat in the cream cheese, sour cream and beat until smooth and also mix in the sugar and essence and beat till a smooth batter is obtained. Mix in


INGREDIENTS: 250 gm maida - flour 11/4 level tsp baking powder 220 gm sugar 200 gm thick curd plain curd which is not sour and has no water content 200 ml oil 100 gm chocos breakfast cereal 1 drop edible yellow colour 6-7 drops lemon essence METHOD Sift together the flour, and the baking powder and keep aside.


Lemon flavoured chocos cake

INGREDIENTS: 250 gm dark chocolate broken

the beaten eggs and now mix the chocolate and all the beaten ingredients together. Pour into the base and cook in a preheated oven for almost one hour or until the cheese cake is set. Allow to cool and place in a fridge overnight before serving.

For serving: 1 small bowl blue berry sauce METHOD Sift together the flour, and the baking powder and keep aside. Grind the sugar in a mixer to a fine powder. Add the oil, the eggs (beaten), the essence and run the mixer so that the mixture blends well together. Blend till the mixture is smooth and remove to a mixing bowl. Add the maida with the baking powder a little at a time into the beaten liquid mixture and blend gently with a wooden spoon. Mix in the raisins or the choco chips. Grease muffin trays and fill each cup half way with the cake mixture and place in a pre O heated oven at 180 C for 20 minutes. Insert a skewer to see if the muffins are baked. If the

skewer comes out clean when inserted in the middle of each muffin, the muffins are ready. Put off the oven and allow the cake to cool in the oven for 5-7 minutes. Once the muffins have cooled to room temperature spread with blue berry sauce.


INGREDIENTS: 200 gm maida - flour 1 level tsp baking powder 180 gm sugar 5-6 drops vanilla essence 3 eggs 200 ml oil 100 gm raisins or choco chips


INGREDIENTS: 250 gm maida - flour 11/4 level tsp baking powder 3 eggs 220 gm sugar 180 ml oil 2 mashed ripe bananas 1 cup kiwi relish for topping

Vanilla muffins with blue berry sauce

METHOD Sift together the flour and the baking powder and keep aside. Grind the sugar in a mixer to a fine powder. Add the oil, and the eggs and run the mixer so that the mixture blends well together. Blend till the mixture is smooth and remove to a mixing bowl. Add the maida with the baking powder a little at a time into the beaten liquid mixture and blend gently with a wooden spoon. Also mix in the mashed banana and gently mix again. Grease a round baking dish and pour this mixture into the baking dish and bake in a preheated oven at 160 degree C for 30 minutes. Reduce the oven temperature to 140 and bake for a further 10 minutes or insert a skewer to see if the cake is done. If the skewer comes out clean when inserted in the middle of the cake the cake is ready. Put off the oven and allow the cake to cool in the oven for 5-7 minutes. Bring the cake out of the oven and allow it to cool completely. Spread the kiwi relish and serve.
Banana fruit cake with kiwi topping

Cake vermicelli balls


INGREDIENTS: 1 sponge cake 3 tsp caramel thin syrup 1 cup cake vermicelli decorations or any other cake decorations

METHOD Crumble the sponge cake in a mixing bowl. Add the caramel syrup and mix with your fingers. Divide the mixture into small portions and shape each portion into a round ball. Spread the decoration on a plate and roll each of the balls on the decorations. Place on a serving plate and prepare all the balls in this way. You can also use leftover cake for preparing this dish. In fact, any flavoured cake can be used to prepare tasty sweet cake balls.


INGREDIENTS: For the tart: 1 cup maida 2 tbsp saltless butter 3 pinches salt For the filling: 1 cup maida 2 eggs

Walnut chocolate tart

comes out clean. Put off the oven and allow the tarts to cool in the oven. Once the tarts are cooled to room temperature spread the chocolate sauce lavishly and place the tarts in the fridge for the topping to solidify.

INGREDIENTS: 250 gm maida - flour 11/4 level tsp baking powder 220 gm sugar 200 gm thick curd plain curd which is not sour and has no water content 2 tsp coffee powder (instant coffee) 200 ml oil METHOD Sift together the flour, coffee powder and the baking powder and keep aside. Grind the sugar in a mixer to a fine powder. Add

150 gm sugar 120 oil 1 cup walnuts For topping: 1 cup chocolate sauce METHOD For the tart: Sift together the maida and the salt. Mix the butter into the maida with your fingers to resemble bread crumbs. Add just a few tsp of water to knead into a dough. Divide the dough into five portions. Roll out each portion and line tart tins. The size of the tart dough will depend on the size of your tart moulds or tin. Bake these tart moulds in a preheated oven at 160 degree C for 10-1 minutes or until the tarts are a very light golden brown. Remove gently from the moulds and place on a baking tray. In the meantime prepare the filling of the tart: Grind the sugar in a mixer and mix in the beaten eggs and the oil and blend to a smooth batter. Place the maida in a mixing bowl and slowly add the liquid mixture into the maida and blend so that the wet and the dry ingredients mix

well together. Add the walnuts and mix gently. Pour this batter three fourths into each of the prepared tart moulds and replace the baking dish into the warm oven. Allow the batter to cook in the oven at 160 degree C for 1215 minutes or until the filling is set and a skewer when inserted

Coffee muffins

the oil, the curd and run the mixer 2 tsp saltless butter so that the mixture blends well 1/4 tsp cinnamon powder together. Blend till the mixture is 2 tbsp crushed walnuts smooth and remove to a mixing METHOD bowl. Add the maida with the Prepare the crumble by mixing baking powder and coffee powder together the brown sugar, a little at a time into the beaten cinnamon powder and the liquid mixture and blend gently crushed walnuts in a mixing bowl . with a wooden spoon. Grease To serve: Divide the crumble muffin trays and fill each cup half into four portions. Place a piece way with the cake mixture and of cake on a plate, place a portion place in a preheated oven at 160 of the crumble on it and cover degree C for 20 minutes. Insert a with another slice of cake and top skewer to see if the muffins are with another portion of the baked. If the skewer comes out crumble. Prepare each of the clean when inserted in the middle of each muffin, the muffins are ready. Put off the Mini 3 layered dessert oven and allow the cake to cool in the oven for 5-7 minutes.

servings in this way and place in a fridge for 10 minutes before serving so that the crumble binds together. (For two portion)


INGREDIENTS: To make three portions: 3 slices cake any flavour 100 gm almonds 3 tbsp chocolate sauce METHOD Crush the cake slices and divide into 3 portions. Place each portion of the crumbled cake into three mini-sized glasses. Place a few almonds in each glass and top with chocolate sauce over the almonds. Place in a fridge for 10 minutes and serve as a dessert.

INGREDIENTS: 4 slices sponge cake or chocolate cake or any cake with raisins or choco chips (basically any cake of your choice without any icing) For the crumble: 4 tsp brown sugar


Crumble pie

INGREDIENTS: 250 gm maida - flour 11/4 level tsp baking powder 220 gm sugar 200 gm thick curd plain curd which is not sour and has no water content 200 ml oil 2 tsp yellow colour or saffron if you want to give it a natural colour and taste 100 gm chopped dried apricots 50 gm sweetened cherry cut into small pieces METHOD Sift together the flour, the baking powder and keep aside.

Apricot cherry slices

Grind the sugar in a mixer to a fine powder. Add the oil, the curd, and colour or saffron soaked in milk, and run the mixer so that the mixture blends well together. Blend till the mixture is smooth and remove to a mixing bowl. Add the maida with the baking powder a little at a time into the beaten liquid mixture and blend gently with a wooden spoon. Also mix in the apricots and cherry pieces. Grease a round baking dish and pour this mixture into the baking dish and bake in a preheated oven at 180 degree C for 35 to 40 minutes. Insert a skewer to see if the cake is done. If the skewer comes out clean when inserted in the middle of the cake the cake is ready. Put off the oven and allow the cake to cool in the oven for 5-7 minutes. Cut into slices and serve.

220 gm sugar 200 gm thick curd plain curd which is not sour and has no water content 200 ml oil 3-4 drops strawberry essence For the icing: 1 cup whipped cream 2 tsp powdered sugar 2 drops pink colour chocolate vermicelli or any other cake decorations or fresh fruit for decorations
Strawberry flavoured cake


INGREDIENTS: 250 gm maida - flour 11/4 level tsp baking powder

METHOD Sift together the flour, the baking powder and keep aside. Grind the sugar in a mixer to a fine powder. Add the oil, the curd, and essence and run the mixer so that the mixture blends well together. Blend till the mixture is smooth and remove to a mixing bowl. Add the maida with the baking powder a little at a time

into the beaten liquid mixture and blend gently with a wooden spoon. Grease a round baking dish and pour this mixture into the baking dish and bake in a pre heated oven at 180 degree C for 35 to 40 minutes. Insert a skewer to see if the cake is done. If the skewer comes out clean when inserted in the middle of the cake the cake is ready. Put off the oven and allow the cake to cool in the oven for 5-7 minutes. Cool completely and then spread the icing. For the icing: with a hand blender beat the cream and the icing sugar and also add the pink colour. Blend till a smooth cream and spreading consistency icing is obtained. Spread over the prepared and cooled cake and decorate with vermicelli or cake decorations and serve.

Fusion dessert


INGREDIENTS: 250 gm maida - flour

11/4 level tsp baking powder 11/4 tbsp chocolate or coco powder 1/ tsp cinnamon powder 2 220 gm sugar 200 gm thick curd plain curd which is not sour and has no water content 200 ml oil 100 gm chopped almonds For the topping: 3-4 tbsp or 1 cup ready made chocolate sauce For decoration: cherries METHOD Sift together the flour, the baking powder, cinnamon and coco or chocolate powder together and keep aside. Grind the sugar to a fine powder. Add the oil, the curd, and run the mixer so that the mixture blends well together. Blend till the mixture is smooth and remove to a mixing bowl. Add the maida mixture a little at a time into the beaten liquid mixture and blend gently with a wooden spoon. Also mix in
Heart-shaped chocolate cinnamon cake with chocolate icing

the almonds. Grease a heartshaped baking dish and pour this mixture into the baking dish and bake in a preheated oven at 180 degree C for 35 to 40 minutes. Insert a skewer to see if the cake is done. If the skewer comes out clean when inserted in the middle of the cake the cake is ready. Put off the oven and allow the cake to cool in the oven for 5-7 minutes. For the icing: Spread the chocolate icing over the cake and keep in the fridge for 10 minutes before serving.

INGREDIENTS: 6 slices sweet pineapple 6 slices cake chocolate or sponge or any other flavour For topping: chocolate sauce 2-3 tbsp METHOD To assemble: Place two slices on each serving plate. Place two slices of cake and top with chocolate sauce and serve chilled. Prepare the other two helpings in this way. We (To serve 3)

THE fashion ULTRA

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This striped dark coloured sweater will prove an ideal wear for the season.

Having the cut of novelty, this attractive sweater has remarkably buttons-decorated parts.

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A means of elegant dressing is not just an imagination. A look at these two exquisitely made tops will carry you away with their strikingly contrasting adornment.

Dresses: Rukootina Virsa Exclusive


should be under the joint care of the physician/neurologist and obstetrician for optimal results.

Q & A
I am two months pregnant and have noticed an increased vaginal discharge. Is this due to pregnancy or infection? Please tell me what should I do about it? Vaginal discharge, without itching or burning, may be a sign of pregnancy. The cervix is building your mucous plug to block the opening of the cervix to help protect your baby from infections etc. This results in a slight increase in whitish vaginal secretions which is normal. However, if the discharges is yellowish, foul smelling and is accompanied by burning or itching, it is a sign of infection that requires medication. I am an epileptic and am on drugs for the same. I have been married for the last two years and would like to conceive now. Is it all right for me to do so? What effect will the condition have on my pregnancy or the baby? What precautions should I take? A lot depends on if you are still having fits or not, for drugs have to be continued for some years after the last fit. If you still have seizures, it is better to wait till the disease is under control. If your condition has been normalised, inform your physician and let him know about your intention to conceive. He will either modify the dose of the drugs you are taking or change them altogether so that their effects on the pregnancy are minimised. You will also be put on folic acid tablets. Once pregnant, you 66

I am in the seventh month of pregnancy and have developed swelling over my feet. Please tell me if this is cause for concern. If so, what should be done about it? Swelling, or oedema, is a very common discomfort of pregnancy. It is estimated that about 75 per cent of women will experience this excessive accumulation of fluid around the legs and ankles at some point during pregnancy. When the weather is warm, or you have been standing on your feet for awhile, or even just at the end of your day, you may notice that your feet feel tight, your shoes don't fit, or just a general puffiness. In general swelling is nothing to be alarmed about. This usually subsides after a good night's rest, or several hours of lying down.

There are a couple of things you can do to help relieve the symptoms. The first, and probably one of the best and most important, is to drink a lot of water. While it doesn't seem like it makes sense to get rid of fluids by taking in more, the extra fluids will help flush out your system of waste products, which may have increased swelling. Another dietary approach is salt. While many people believe that swelling is caused by excessive amounts of salt in the diet, the opposite is also true. Limiting the amount of salt you take in can cause swelling as well. As with all things, moderation is the key to balance. You could also decrease the swelling by avoiding elastic topped socks and wearing comfortable foot wear. Put your feet up when possible. If you stand at work, try to move around at intervals. If at any time the swelling increases suddenly or extends to the face and hands, it can be serious for complications like pre-ecclampsia (increase BP and albumin in urine along with swelling), so visit your doctor at the earliest.

I am six months pregnant with my first child. Is there any way by which I can prevent the development of stretch marks? I would not like to have these ugly reminders of my pregnancy on my belly. Also please tell me why doe they occur? Striae gravidarum or stretch marks are probably the most discussed of the skin changes during pregnancy. Nearly every woman fears them or thinks about them. They appear in 50-90 per cent of all pregnant women, usually showing up in the latter half of pregnancy. While the majority will be on the lower abdomen they can also be found on the thighs, hip, buttocks, breasts and arms of women. These are most commonly seen as small depressions in the skin. They tend to be pinkish in light- skinned women, and in dark-skinned women they will be lighter than the surrounding. They reflect the separation of collagen of the skin. While not painful, the stretching of the skin may cause a tingling or itchy sensation. While many people will swear by certain creams or lotions, the truth is there's not much you can do about stretch marks, you'll either get them or not. There are certain factors that contribute to stretch marks. These include family history, excessive/ rapid weight gain, nutritional status a Dr A. K. Bajaj, MD. well hydrated and healthy skin stretches better. Womans Era December (Second) 2010



He squares off in the rang.

winning gold in the 66kg freestyle wrestling category at the Common Wealth Games 2010. With this, the friendly, ever-smiling grappler won himself a new set of fans among the athletes in the Games Village as he was voted the most popular resident. In a concise conversation with WE at Main Press Centre, Pragati Maidan, Sushil, very amicably, answered the following aspects. Excerpts: On his performance This time our performance was at its peak. Our team has given a good performance. We did our pre-planning and we were expecting a gold medal. On his preparation for the Games For two years we were training at Womans Era December (Second) 2010

n a country where cricketers are considered to be demi-gods, wrestler Sushil Kumar is one of the few exceptions from other sporting arenas to give them a tough competition on the popularity charts. Thanks to his bronze medal win in the 2008 Beijing Olympics this humblebackground Jat boy became a household name across the nation. Later, he received the Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna award, Indias highest honour for sportspersons in 2009. Also, he was the final baton bearer who handed over the Queens baton to Prince Charles during the CWGs opening ceremony. Living up to the expectations, the games poster-boy once again did India proud by

Sonipat, so we were prepared physically and mentally. The federation also arranged foreign training camps for us to get experience. On performing in his home country There was no pressure at all. I was very happy to see the home crowd. In India, wrestling is a villagebased sport. Viewers in the villages were very happy to see my matches against foreign wrestlers. On his next target I am focusing on the London Olympics. I will start preparations for that now. We are hoping for a good We performance there.


Whats happening on the court?
By Our Correspondent

hen we talk about the glamour in Indian sports, tennis-ace Sania Mirza is certainly the foremost figure that comes to ones mind. Though her on-court magic is fading every passing day, she still remains Indias best bet offshore. Winner of many honours, Sania is undoubtedly Indias tennisqueen, who has, for over a decade, represented India to almost all major championships across the globe, and also received overwhelming appreciations from the stalwarts, if not winning any major Grand Slam victory. No doubt, her glam-quotient is losing its sheen. With the emergence of fellow Hyderabadi, leggy-shuttlers Saina Nehwal, Jwala Gutta and Ashwini Ponnappa, Sanias, of late, silver medal win in the womens singles at Delhi CWG, has bolstered her fading appeal to rule the court as well as hearts. In an interaction

with WE Main Press Centre, Pragati Maidan, Sania has following to say. Excerpts: On missing gold We should celebrate what we have won rather than be upset thinking about the gold. On expectations of the home crowd Pressure is always there but as a sportsperson, it is part of life and we have to deal with it. I love playing under pressure. I probably enjoy perfection under pressure. On the home crowd I had never seen this type of crowd ever before. The crowd inspired me a lot. It was something very extraordinary. They were winning and losing every point with me. On the difference between playing at CWG and other championships When we play Grand Womans Era December (Second) 2010

Slam events I am just Sania Mirza but when I play for my country it is India all over and I am proud of it. On the relative strength of Indian tennis Poojashree Venkatesha is the only young prospect that we have at the moment. A lot of young girls do try to make it to the top. Only Nirupama Sanjeev was in the picture before me but suddenly I came into the limelight. I hope that someone can come through because I cannot play forever. On which doubles partner she plays best with I dont choose. I think it is not fair to choose from great champions. I play very well with all three, Mahesh, Leander and Rohan. Leander and I We complement each other well. 69


Indias next gen tennis hope?

hat the stalwarts, Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupathi, couldnt do, this kid-onthe-block did. Somdev Devvarman lived up to his reputation by winning the CWG gold in the mens singles event, beating Greg Jones of Australia in straight sets (i.e. 6-4, 6-2). With this, his energy and determination on the court won him the love and appreciation from the fans. So, after this stellar perfor mance, the nations expectation from Somdev is bound to mature manifold. In a brief chit-chat with WE at R.K. Khanna Tennis Stadium, the amicable tennis heart-throb has following to say. Excerpts:

On his first reaction after winning I was just ecstatic. Anything I say wont do justice to how I felt then. Winning matches like this means that my game is improving. On the support from the crowd It was unbelievable; they were in it with me through everything. They helped me a lot. On his overall experience at the Delhi CWG Its an unbelievable feeling. I didnt know what to expect. It was my first event playing like this for India. From the get-go, people were cheering for me. One medal may feel like a small thing, but it means the world to me. I was really anxious on the final day. I was getting feelings I didnt get before. My victory is something small for a country that I care so much about. My experience as an athlete has been absolutely unbelievable. Its a great opportunity. On the development of tennis in India I dont think whats lacking in my game is funds. I dont find excuses and thats why Im actually here. On tennis not being included in the next CWG at Glasgow Its unfortunate. Its a mistake not to have this kind of atmosphere in the Commonwealth Games. If the Commonwealth Games can draw this kind of crowd, then it should have it. We



Shes got her target right.

hen there is talk of archery in India, Dola Banerjee is definitely the first name that clocks into our mind, especially since 2005 when she became the first woman archer to be honoured with the Arjuna award. Winner of many international events, Dola again made the country proud when she along with Deepika Kumari and L Bombayala Devi staged a brilliant fightback (as the premonitions

werent good) and conjured up a magical moment by bagging Indias first-ever CWG gold in archery when they trounced England in the womens team recurve final. However, she had to settle with bronze only in the recurve individual event. In an interaction with WE at Yamuna Sports Complex (during the Games), Dola replied on the following points. Excerpts: On missing gold in the recurve individual event I am disappointed that I couldnt get gold. But Deepika made it. Its the same anyway because it was Indias. I would have felt bad if the gold medal would have gone to another country. On their preparation Preparation was really good. We had been in the practice camp for one-and-a-half years. We got all our equipment two months before the games. We had been practising for the Commonwealth Games even Womans Era December (Second) 2010

more than the Olympics, and if we practise consistently the same way then next time, we hope to win medals in the Olympics as well. On her winning performance in the womens team recurve final We were consistently getting nines or eights but we were not able to hit 10 points, whereas England were hitting sevens but were making up with 10s. But in the last round, we picked up. On her brother Rahuls performances The mens team won a lot of gold medals in the last World Championships and Rahul is more experienced than even me. We are always here to support him. On archery not being included in the next CWG at Glasgow We cannot say and do anything about it as it is not in our hands. It all depends on the government and CWG federation. But yes, we will We miss it not being there. 71


Despite a bronze he is a golden man.

the fashion and film world in such a way that they are always ready with an offer for him. In a short tete-a-tete with WE at Main Press Centre, Pragati Maidan, the star pugilist spoke on the following point. On his performance: Every time we play to perform well. Our body is not a machine. Sometimes we perform and sometimes we miss. Winning or losing is a part of the game. We should forget the past and move forward. I prepared for the Commonwealth Games. One defeat cannot take away everything. On comparing the Asian Games to the CWG The Asian Games and Commonwealth Games are quite different. In the Asian Games, China and Russia will be our main opponents, and the Russians are aggressive players. On the late protest over a foul which cost him his semifinal to Anthony Ogogo Its better to ask the coach why we delayed in protesting. We could have protested right there, but, due to the delay, it was rejected. On the scoring system We took time to understand the scoring system. On the controversial umpiring As per rules, an umpire cannot give a warning before 30 seconds but my umpire warned me in the 16th second. Anyway, its okay now; We things are finished.

o what if he couldnt win the CWG semi-final and had to be satisfied with the bronze? Vijender Singh is still a name to reckon with in Indias sporting arena. Courtesy his never-say-die attitude that despite losing the very crucial penultimate match against Anthony Ogogo of England in the middleweight (75kg) category (due to some silly technical folly), Vijender still has the steel-strong spirit to conquer the post in the Asian Games. Felicitated with a number of awards post-2008 Beijing Olympics bronze including Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna (2009), Indias highest sporting honour and the prestigious Padma Shri (2010). The credit for reviving the sport of boxing in India also goes to this Bhiwani boy. Not only this, his good looks and macho figure even impressed


Australias Deakin University students collaborate with Indias Masscomedia institute to make documentaries for social change.

Prof K V Venkatasubramanian, executive director of Masscomedia alongwith Simon Wilmot from Deakin University spearheading the documentaries classes.

edia students from Deakin University, Melbourne, Australia, and MassCoMedia jointly produced documentaries on social themes during a weeklong workshop. The documentaries were presented in a seminar on 27 November. MassCoMedia Institute, Noida, hosted the Deakin University students. The project was a unique documentary filmmaking partnership between the students of Australia and India. Deakin University students formed a group along with

MassCoMedia Institute students to make a documentary. Accompanying the Deakin Students was Mr Simon Wilmot, Senior Lecturer in Filmmaking and Ms Anne Roubin International Projects Officer of the Faculty of Arts & Education who were working with Mr K V Venkatasubramanian, executive director of Masscomedia to facilitate this unique and innovative collaboration. Mr K V Venkatasubramanian said, These films must educate and have

Indian and Australian students at Masscomedia campus.

good quality. I always suggest not treat the audience like a child and having respect for their wisdom. Education is a major challenge for the country and without our people getting educated the hope of becoming a superpower will remain a dream and documentary can help in this task for sure, he added. The aim of the projects was to provide Indian and Australian students with international production experience and to foster greater cultural understanding and friendship. The subjects of the documentary were Women Exploitation, Dowry, Child Labour, Pollution, and Foeticide, Soil Erosion, Corruption, etc. The students directed documentaries on the social work conducted by various NGOs in and around New Delhi. OXFAM India supported the students initiative and provided them all the basic needs. Various NGO partners of OXFAM such as, MARG, Janhit Foundation, EFRAH, Action India and SWATI participated in this unique initiative. We 73

Womans Era December (Second) 2010

Some time fashion goes straight, at times it takes a curve, and has circular swing when it wants to appear strikingly different.


An outlandish frock with eye-catching hemline.

A marvellous dress with floral pattern to make you comfy.

The tight-fitting jeans and ornamental top to give boost to your looks.

An elegant dress to bring out your terrific appeal.

This is the dress for you when you want to make a dignified impact.

Nothing can be more sexy looking than this top with the matching trousers.

Styling by: Naushina Sheikh Model: Minal Thakur



Whichever it was, the sacrifice was big.

Sumatis choice

Romola Shanbhag

oday is our first wedding anniversary, and my Imagine calling me by the silly nickname he husband is pulling out all stops to make me front of this dream boat of a man.... happy. A pearl and ruby ring I had admired I glared at Vikas furiously.I am Sumati, I in a jewellers window, the matinee show of a introduced myself with dignity, but you can call me film I had wanted to see for long and finally a Sumi. dinner date in Delhis swankiest restaurant. Jai rose to the situation with tact and gallantry. Yes, he loves me dearly, and treats me these What a beautiful name, he said. You rarely hear days as if I were made of delicate china. Why? it these very Indian. He threw an accusing Because, I am six months pregnant with a baby we look at Vikas who did not look even a wee bit made together. Our love child. Truly, I am grateful to abashed by his gaffe. Why do you use that silly have such a wonderful husband and...but let me tell nickname for this beautiful young lady? You are an you my story about how I got married to him. ass, Vikas. I was just 19 years old when I fell head over heels In that instant, my heart which was teeter-tottering in love with Jai. He sauntered into our dangerously on the edge, fell head over drawing room with Vikas, our next-door Oh,s orry...- heels in love with the dashing Jai Krishnan. neighbour, one dull winter morning...and I saw amma exchanging the look with forgot my appa, which I interpreted with my long all at once, the world seemed to be experience as saying, This-boy-seems-likebathed in a bright golden hue.... manners! a-good-groom-for-our-Sumi. Every time I Kamala Aunty, do you have a carrot This is Jai...saw the look I was consumed with grater? Mummy wants to make carrot time, I was halwa...and her grater just split into two, Jai Krishnan. exasperation. But thisour ideas concurred! overjoyed. For once, Vikas announced cheerfully. We were I always call her Fatty, I heard Vikas Of course, beta, amma beamed. I drawling nonchalantly. Shes quite plump, made carrot halwa just yesterday. And batch mates isnt she? Yaar, you shouldve seen her a then, she smiled a welcome at the young few years round as a man accompanying Vikas. And who is in IIM, golguppa... your friend? aunty., beta. Dont tease her, Oh, sorry...forgot my manners! This is amma remonstrated gently. And, if looks Jai...Jai Krishnan. We were batch mates could kill, mine would have gone through that in IIM, aunty. insensitive oafs heart like a rapier thrust! Krishnan? repeated amma, her eyes narrowing What Vikas said was, however, not untrue. I was thoughtfully. South Indian, yes? plump and, some time back, I was ever more so. Yes, agreed the newcomer, his handsome face crinkling attractively in a smile. Originally, from ikas and I grew up together as next-door Kumbakonam...but since dad was always posted to neighbours. For several years I tied a rakhi on the north, I am afraid I have sort of lost sight of my his wrist in true North Indian fashion. As years roots. passed, and his thin boyish wrist turned hairy and Just like us! amma assured happily. Our brawny, one raksha bhandan day, he clipped me daughter is also a mix of the north and south... She on the ear and said, Fatty, youre not tying this silly waved a hand in my direction, where I stood thread on my wrist to ensure that I look after you gawking at one of the most attractive young men throughout life, are you? Be truthful... who had ever crossed our doorstep. I considered his question . Well, no! But the Vikas now introduced me breezily with a And money you give me is quite handy, you know. this is my good friend, Fatty. He laughed, Good girl! I like your honesty. Ill I could have killed him with my bare hands!


Womans Era December (Second) 2010

give you a gift anytime you want even without this silly ritual...and Ill be there for you always too. So dont tie anything on my wrist any more. I look silly. From that time, I stopped tying the rakhi on him, and nobody cared except our mothers, I think, who thought it looked very cute. Also, with this, each secretly pretended she had the daughter and the son they missed in real life. For Vikas, like me, was the only child of his parents. True to his promise, Vikas never failed me when I needed his help.

n fact, not only was he big brother to me, he was like a son to my sonless parents, helping appa tune his car engine, lifting suitcases to the loft for amma, and escorting me home from late-night cinema shows. Years passed. My parents gave him another assignment. Find a good groom for Sumi, amma told him one day. Only an Iyer boy, mind you, she specified. A Tamil Brahmin Iyer. Shall try my level best, aunty, he promised gallantly. And the chappie, I know, should be like a Sumo wrestler to match our Fattys girth! I was so mad that I stopped talking to him for a whole week. I forgave him only when he treated me to a double scoop butterscotch ice-cream cone and solemnly promised that he would find a guy for me who was Shah Rukh Khan and Amitabh Bachchan rolled into one. A month later, he brought Jai Krishnan to our home. Now, as amma cunningly tried to prise out family details from Jai, plying him the while with her unmatchable medhu vadais and chutney, Vikas sidled up to me and whispered, Like JK? He does look like SRK and AB, doesnt he?

The colour rising in my cheeks would have given him my answer, loud and clear. Amma and appa went into a huddle that night after dinner. Above the sounds of their favourite Sun TV soap, I could hear the low hum of their voices. I could feel their excitement too. The boy they had dreamed of had arrived. TamBram, IIM grad, goodlooking, highly respectable family and unbelievably, J.Ks female cousin was married to Appas uncles sis-in-laws third son. Discreet phone calls were made, horoscopes exchanged; tactful enquiries of family antecedents followed. The outcome? If the boy and girl agree, J.Ks parents had no objection. They had spoken to their son about our interest. Apparently, he had not given a 100 per cent affirmative answer...but was keeping a guarded lets-wait-and-see stance. He wants to find out whether Sumati is the wife he is looking for, explained J.Ks parents apologetically. He wants time...please excuse him. You know how young people are these days.They have their own views and they make their own decisions. Not at all like in our time! We know...we know....amma assured them sincerely. I think your son is showing maturity by asking for time. How can he take such an important decision in a hurry?

ince JKs office was in Gurgaon, he dropped in on Vikas whenever he had time. And Vikas dutifully brought him over to our place. It was a delicate situation. With a casual carelessness, everybody contrived to throw us both together. Vikas for instance, would say, Hey, JK, you sit here for a while, yaar, while I dash out to get paneer for mummy... And when JK and I sat chatting, amma would wander off to the kitchen muttering something under her breath about getting dinner started, and Appa would decide that it was time for him to watch the evening news on TV. Left to ourselves, JK and I chatted comfortably enough. The more I saw him, the more I liked him...his quick and easy smile which brought out a dimple on his right cheek, the way he flicked the lock of hair from his face with a swift toss of his head, his habit of drumming his fingers on the table top... My parents waited anxiously for

his agreement. I did too, although I pretended as if I didnt care one way or the other. After two weeks, his mother, however, regretfully told us that he still hadnt made up his mind. What he is waiting for, we really dont know, said the good lady. Your sweet daughter will make a wonderful addition to our family...but this son of mine...really! I hate to keep you waiting...I know how painful it is... Amma decided to rope in Vikas to get to the bottom of the matter. Please talk to him in confidence, beta. What is making him hesitate? Does he not like my idli...or lemon rice...? amma thought the world revolved around food. Mention casually that I have a flat in Chennai also...close to Elliots property...and all that we have is Sumi, appa added with a touch of desperation.

conservative? demanded amma. Vikas chomped on contentedly for a few moments. Then, He says, he likes girls, for instance, with short hair, he said. I was shocked and my fingers clutched my thick, long plait protectively. He doesnt like our Sumis plait? appa croaked disbelievingly. No...or the smell of the jasmine flowers she always wears in her hair...and the coconut oil, continued Vikas. Aiy..yay..yoo. groaned amma slapping her brow. Is he a real Tam Bram or not? He has lived all his life in the north, Aunty, Vikas said. But he is a true blue Tamil Brahmin all right. Yes, you are right, agreed appa. What if he has outlandish tastes...inside, his heart is a pure Iyer boy. Amma looked confused but nodded doubtfully. I stepped in. ikas looked stern at this statement.No Amma...appa...I like short hair. I am ready to tempting him, uncle, aunty. He must like Fatty cut my hair. I tried to sound firm but my voice for herself...and not for what she is worth... And then as he looked at my parents woebegone quavered. Wh..a...t?! ammas face blanched. She looked faces, he said gently, Dont worry. Ill have a heartas if she would faint any moment. to-heart talk with our Slippery Sam....and Yes, I said. I kept my thoughts firmly Ill get back to you when I do. He has lived fixed on JKs dimpled smile and his And he did. twinkling eyes. Long hair is a What does he say? chorused amma all his life in nuisance...whos got the time to oil and and appa together when Vikas came the north, comb it every day? And such a waste of over the next evening and dropped on the sofa. Aunty, Vikas coconut oil...and do you know I have to use almost half a bottle of shampoo to Without answering, he then picked up said. But he wash it? a green banana fritter from a plate amma My hand clutched my plait with had kept on the centre table and popped is a true blue trembling fingers. it into his mouth. He chomped on it with Tamil Amma and appa looked at each other relish. helplessly. You make the best bhajjias Ive ever Brahmina ll Vikas spoke up now with a troubled tasted, he said with his mouth full. right. frown on his face. Fatty, dont go Jai said ...that? exclaimed amma, overboard. You dont have to chop off your startled. No...Im saying it, aunty, said Vikas, picking up hair to please him. I didnt mean that at all! can always pin it up and... started another bhajjia. amma tremulously. What did Jai Krishnan say?demanded appa. Did you speak to him? hey were really quite irritating. I stamped my Of course I did, Vikas replied, licking his finger. foot. Nonsense! I will go to Madonna right He says... now and get a short cut. He says... repeated amma and appa leaning Amma gave a small groan and fell back on the forward tensely. I stood at the window, looking out , sofa with a hand to her head. to show I wasnt interested in what he had to say. Look...if you are determined to cut your hair, He says, he likes our Fatty but he finds her a well go to Tirupati and donate it to the little too conservative, Vikas picked up another temple....appa said. Clearly, he was buying time. bhajjia and popped it into his mouth. Why all this hullabaloo? Its my hair, after all, I Wha..a..t? croaked amma and appa together, said caustically. Im going to Madonna right away. sinking back on the sofa. Then, We are Tamil Dont stop me, please. Brahmin Iyers just like what does he mean


Womans Era December (Second) 2010

Beta, take her there....she is too worked up to drive, appa appealed to Vikas, who got to his feet at once and picked up the car keys from the side table. I followed him out of the house, without a backward glance.

some western countries, there are dot-buster gangs who attack Indians with bindis, you know... I love bindis, I said faintly. I have a boxful at home...and some special ones cost even a hundred rupees, you know. Indeed, my collection is the envy of my friends. ven the hairdresser looked appalled when I told Utter waste of good money, pronounced JK with him to cut off two feet of my hair. He drew his a careless laugh. Give the whole lot back to the fingers through it, sorrowfully, Why cut this shop...or to your friends...or dump them into the gorgeous hair? Ill straighten it and you can wear it dustbin. My gorgeous Sue will no longer need them. loose...itll look very fashionable. Do you know how good you look? No...cut it off...shoulder length, I ordered, His words should have made me happy but I was hardly able to control the tremble in my voice. And not. I lowered my face as tears pricked my eyelids. do it quickly. I moved my fingers gingerly over my bindiless As his scissors clicked and clacked around my forehead...was this not considered to be head, tears trickled down my cheeks. inauspicious in our society? Why? I did not know. My hair fell to the JK, quite oblivious to my turmoil, hugged In that ground behind me in thick sheaves me gently. So I decided to put away my bringing a lump to my throat. Each one depressing thoughts and pasted a bright instant, had been my constant companion for smile on my face. As they say, fake it, till all my several years.... you make it! Suddenly, I felt Vikas hand fall At home, amma opened the door when I misgivings comfortingly on my shoulder. Hey, Fatty, returned and her face clouded over with vanished like you look gorgeous...a real fashionable shocked dismay. Holding her pallu over her chick! You can enter a beauty contest, face, she turned and hurried wordlessly to thin smoke. yaar... the kitchen, I dont care, I thought Everything I turned to look at him.You really think defiantly. Its my hair and I can do what I so? I squeaked in a small voice. Will JK want with it. seemed also...? Appa was more forthright. He lifted his worthwhile. Hell be bowled over, Vikas said face from the newspaper as I entered the confidently. I promise you that,Fatty. living room and a look of distaste and His words turned out to be true. JK whistled disapproval came over his face. appreciatively when I met him in Janpath a half hour Does Jai Krishnan think you look beautiful later, my hair washed and blow-dried, swinging like now? he asked incredulously. a bell around my face. Yes...he is delighted, I retorted firmly. look hot, babe! he murmured in my you look like hundreds of other ear. Like a million dollars...! girls...a clone. You were different and special In that instant, all my misgivings vanished like thin had an identity...appa always called smoke. Everything seemed worthwhile. a spade a spade. Later, as we sat in the Central Park, munching I sat down in front of him. peanuts from paper cones, JK draped a hand over Appa, I began earnestly, dont you think it is my shoulder.From today, Ill call you Sue...not good for a wife to please her spouse...listen to his Sumati...not even Sumi. wishes...adjust to his long as it is not I nodded contentedly and rested my head on his wrong or bad? shoulder. Yes...of course...but not... appa shook his head He turned my face towards him, and lifted his helplessly. This is not...actually.... He shook his hand to my forehead. I thought he was going to lift a head again, gave up and went back to his stray hair from my cheek in that endearing manner newspaper. he had...but, the next moment, he peeled the bindi Then he lowered the paper. You Jai, dont from my forehead and threw it away . you, child? I stared stupidly at the glittering gold and silver Yes. I love him with all my heart...I said dot lying in the grass as he said in my ear, No fervently. more silly you look perfect! And, he? His finger traced the line of my lip. Why do you He is proud of me... I said. girls place that stupid bindi on you Then, its all right, I think. Finally, a small smile look like voodoo dolls! He grinned engagingly. In curved his lips. He raised his right hand in
Womans Era December (Second) 2010 83

who I enjoyed meeting up with. She had been as slim as a bamboo stem but motherhood had filled her out in comely curves. She looked happy, content and so much in love with her husband Ravi who carried around their second child, the two-month-old baby Kalavati in his arms like a trophy for all the guests to admire. Shyamala was surprised by my new look but said serenely, Now you match Jai Krishanan perfectly, one were the saris and salwar suits; I only Sumi. Both of you look so good together. Rab ne wore jeans and hip-hugging narrow trousers banayi jodi! with tops and T-shirts. I wore trainers and It took a load off my mind. I did it all to please stilettos. My hair fell in gently flicks on my forehead. him....and Im so glad you understand, I said, Light rouge coloured my cheeks. I walked in a squeezing her hand gratefully. delicate cloud of perfume and deodorant. After lunch, my parents drove home but JK and I With his encouragement, I joined a health clinic decided to go for a spin. As we sat in the car at and managed to loose inches round my hips with Rajpath, eating ice-cream, I asked, You liked their special vibration machines and massages. I mama, isnt it? was proud of my achievement. guy...but his dress sense! JK Every so often, I looked at myself in the mirror wrinkled his nose in disapproval. and whispered, Hello, stranger. You look so sexy! We are South why be ashamed of It would be a lie to say that I did not miss my erstwhile clothes, my jhumkas and my bangles...but I our kind of clothing?I asked. We shouldnt ape others or... told myself firmly that it was time to move on. Because, my dear girl, he interrupted, we are When we met JKs friends or colleagues, he would hold my hand and say, Meet Sue...she is the backward, and need to progress...improve... become more westernised. girl I am going to marry, with He looked at me with an amused look unmistakable pride in his voice. Every so of indulgence as if he were humouring a I glowed with happiness. I knew it was often, I looked moron. It irritated me. only a matter of time when he would He continued, Look at how marvellous formally ask my parents for my hand... at myself in you look now. You were a dowdy A few days later, when my cousin the mirror downmarket girl in your salwar kameezes Shyamala invited us to her sons fourth and oily plait...always smelling of coconut birthday party in Mayur Vihar, appa and oil and jasmine...ugh! asked JK to join us. Youll meet my elder whispered, I love jasmine in my hair, I said brother who is coming from Chennai for defiantly. See how beautiful Shyamala his grandsons birthday, he told JK. Hello, looked with that fragrant bunch of flowers JK agreed amiably but later asked me, stranger. You in her hair. I missed my plait when I saw I hope they will not serve lunch on and... plantain leaves and expect us to eat with look so sexy! herBeautiful?! repeated JK disbelievingly. our fingers? He rolled his eyes heavenwards. That girl I giggled into his anxious face. Silly boy! We are not so traditional, you know. Uncle too looked like a pumpkin...she needs to take off that fat...a few sessions of liposuctions are just what she has settled down in Chennai only recently. He was wants. Why dont you tell her, Sue? in Boston for 40 years... JKs eyes lit up with interest. Wow! Is that so? Im was shocked. She is the mother of two kids...the looking forward to meeting your uncle. younger barely a couple of months old!I But, I warned him, dont expect mama to be a protested hotly. pipe-smoking guy with a yankee drawl. Although he So? he demanded. Is that any excuse? Indian was in a very high position in his organisation, he is women begin to resemble hippos once they have a very unassuming and down-to-earth. He... JK was not listening. To my amusement, he looked kid or two. He slapped his thigh and laughed uproariously. pretty excited to meet mama. Suddenly, in a flash, the scales dropped from my The visit went off very well. Mama was a genial eyes. I saw JK as the selfish, arrogant jerk that he host, clad in dhoti and shirt. His wife and Shyamala was. I had been completely blinded by his had spread a veritable feast of South Indian undeniable charm...and, here I was... all set to delicacies on the table. It was Shyamala, however, benediction. We only want you to be must always remember this. Thank you for understanding, appa, I said softly.Thank you. In the next two weeks, my transformation was complete. I was willing putty in JKs able hands an Eliza to his Higgins.


Womans Era December (Second) 2010

Appa, sensing the seriousness of the situation, obeyed her and turned to us. Appa, I said. I dont want to marry JK, I repeated for the second time. But...why? Whats happened? appa asked gently. I saw Vikas sit up and straighten his back. Amma and I sat down on the divan. I clutched her hand for support. Weve already told most of our relatives about the forthcoming marriage...and they... amma began worriedly. Appa stopped her gently with a look. K went on blithely, If you ask me, we Lets ask Sumi for the reason. Im sure she stupid Indians should take some lessons I dont want can explain. from the West on how to look young Somehow, his calm words reassured me and good-looking all through life. to marry JK, immensely. But how long can you look young? I amma, I I swallowed hard and began, When I cut in curiously. Dont you think all of us am with him I cannot be myself....I am begin to show signs of aging sooner or blubbered. always trying to be what he wants me to later? Should we not age gracefully? I just cannot be...and thats not what I want... I knew I My dear sweet innocent, he was sounding confused but somehow interrupted, have you not heard of imagine appa seemed to understand perfectly. cosmetic surgery? The clever little nips and spending the And amma turned to me and enfolded tucks which remove wrinkles and sagging skin? One can look 40 when 80 years rest of my life me in her arms. How can I live my life with him? I old. Thats how movie stars look great with him. went on. Ill always be on a diet so that I always...and thats how I want you to look do not put on ice-cream or always. My head was reeling. Please take me home, JK, pizzas...ever! And later, he will ask me to use Botox and undergo plastic surgery....when I am 50... I said. Im not feeling too good... And when I am pregnant, he wants me to look It must be the payasam your cousin served...full like Victoria Beckham and not add an inch to my of ghee and cashews...and calories, he said at figure... once but he got up obligingly and we walked back I burst into tears as amma asked musingly, to the car. Whos this Victoria? I laid my head back on the seat and closed my I gulped and muttered, Im so shatter eyes while he drove, to avoid speaking to him. all your plans of getting a dream son-in-law ..... When we reached, I also dissuaded him from Dont worry, child, appa consoled me following me inside. Excuse me, JK. Im going to quietly.Well work it all out. my room to lie down...hope you dont mind. Hush...stop crying... amma said firmly. How Amma looked with concern at my face. Are you can anyone be our dream son-in-law if he is not your okay, Sumi? she asked laying her hand on my dream husband, our darling Sumi? forehead. And I hate being called Sue, I bawled louder. In reply, I put my head on her shoulder and I am Sumati, or Sumi, not Sue! began to weep.She held me close. Ill talk to Jais parents and Jai too...well explain I dont want to marry JK, amma, I blubbered. I matters to them...Im sure theyll understand, appa just cannot imagine spending the rest of my life with said slowly. And then, he looked at me. I would him. advise you to calm yourself and do some thinking Ammas arms around me went stiff with surprise. too, my dear, before you take another step. Ill Still clutching me to her chest, she drew me into the speak to them only after you have made up your living room where appa was watching a cricket mind. match on TV. I have made up my mind, appa, I cried. From Opposite him, Vikas sprawled on the sofa, as a long time...but somehow I did not think clearly till usual hogging some snacks amma had placed on today...I am absolutely sure I do not want to marry the table between the two men. Jai Krishnan. Switch off the TV for a while. Sumi has Of course. Of course, appa said consolingly. something to say, amma spoke in a trembling Ill tell them that their son needs someone much voice.
become his wife! He was speaking and I heard him as if through a distance. When you, my sweet, bear our child...not for the next 10 years, mind you...I dont want you to put on one extra inch....except for the bump, of course. Have you seen Victoria Beckhan pregnant? She was as slim as a reed...and now too. Who can tell that she is the mother of three sons? I ask you. I was so speechless with fury, I couldnt trust myself to speak.

Womans Era December (Second) 2010


more sophisticated and modern than our daughter...then, they will not feel affronted. Also, he has still not clearly indicated that he will marry Sumi...not in so many words. The wedding preparations...the saris...jewellery...all of it will... ammas voice tapered off uncertainly. Those things are not important at all, appa declared. It is a matter of our daughters life and happiness, dont you see? Will you permit me to make a suggestion, uncle? suddenly, Vikas, who was a silent listener to our conversation, spoke up. What do you say, Vikas? appa asked. Can I ask your permission to marry Sumi? Vikas asked quietly. There was absolute silence in the room after he spoke. Amma and appa stared at him, and I lifted my face from my palm, hearing his words.

ikas looked at me, Sumi, will you marry me? I know Im not as handsome or stylish as JK, but I really care for you...always have, you know... I couldnt believe my ears but there was such a rush of happiness in my heart that I knew what my answer was... Pushing his fingers through his hair and making it stand on end in the very familiar manner he had, Vikas turned worriedly to my parents. The thought of marrying Vikas, dear old friend and confidant of my growing years brought such a soothing peace to my mind. But would appa and amma agree? Please think about it, uncle, pressure, Vikas said. Even if you refuse, I will not hold it against you, for I know I dont belong to your community want only a Tamil Brahmin Iyer boy.

Amma and appa looked at each other. I saw amma give an almost imperceptible nod which made appa say, We will be honoured to have you for our son-in-law, Vikas...if Sumi agrees...and you get your parents approval... It was as if a great light burst on Vikas face. My parents love Sumi, he said confidently. They will be thrilled and, he came to my side and faced me squarely, will you marry me, Fatty? Yes, I murmured, feeling the colour flood my face. And please dont call me Fatty. Vikas looked at me with such pure love that I lowered my gaze quickly. Soon, we were sitting down to discuss the new situation. I was surprised to see how easily my parents had accepted it, with almost a sense of relief. But appa now spoke up a little worriedly. What would Jai say when he finds that our Sumi is marrying you after dropping him? he asked Vikas. After all, he is your friend. He wont mind, uncle, Vikas said.Hes not any great friend of mine...we were simply college mates...hes not my type. He paused awhile before saying, And I know, JK is very interested in an alliance his uncle has brought for him.The girl is the only child of a business tycoon in Manchester. He grinned. He will not be very cut up by Sumis rejection, I can assure you. What? exclaimed appa angrily. You mean he would have jilted our daughter after all that she did to please him? Oh...oh...oh...she even cut her beautiful hair, amma moaned. He would have certainly tried to get away...but could have agreed to the marriage with pressure from his parents...but...

If you loved me, why did you bring JK to our house? I did it for you, Fatty, he said. I wanted you happy.

felt so ashamed. My dignity lay in tatters about me. Then, Vikas said sincerely, Uncle, if you dont mind my saying so, you should be glad Sumi is not marrying him. She is a rare gem...and he does not deserve her at all....and now, I am the lucky guy who will have her as his wife. I smiled, feeling like a princess. I knew Vikas was not one to flatter and always meant every word he spoke. Everything worked out perfectly in the end. JK made a big show of being disappointed but was engaged within the week to the tycoons daughter. Appa wrote to all the relatives to attend the marriage of his daughter, saying that the groom had been replaced but all other ceremonies stood unchanged as before. With ill-concealed pride, he told them that the groom was a Punjabi, fair and handsome, very well qualified, earning

handsomely and, most importantly, was known to our family for a very long time. What more could a girls parents ask for? A month later, Vikas and I were married.

oon, amma became quite expert in preparing delicious daal makhani and kofta curry and Vikas mummy became deft at making fluffy idlis and spicy sambar. I never felt the pangs of leaving my parental home after marriage for, after all, it was next door and I was in and out of it constantly! Amma rubbed concoctions of hibiscus flowers and coconut oil into my hair which began to slowly grow thick and long. Vikas often brought strings of jasmine which he tucked into my plait, and I sported bindis too of every hue and colour. I went back to my saris and salwar kameezes and he did not mind my having a second scoop of my favourite chocolate ice cream. When did you start loving me? I asked Vikas a few days after we married. Ive always loved you, he replied simply, taking my hands in his. Why do you think I had stopped

you years ago, from tying the rakhi on my wrist? I didnt want to be your rakhi brother. I wanted to marry you...although I knew I had no chance of making your parents accept me. If you loved me, why did you bring JK to our house and encourage me to do all those crazy things he wanted me to do? I persisted. I did it for you, Fatty, he said. I wanted you happy. Tears filled my eyes. I recalled what Anne Frank had written in her famous diary: You know its love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if youre not a part of their happiness. Hey...why the tears?my husband asked. Thank you for marrying me, Vikas. Ill try to be a good wife. ...and mother! he finished, drawing me into his arms. So, here I am, happy and content. Both amma and mummy are excitedly awaiting the arrival of their grandchild, knitting booties and cooking delicacies to pamper my palate. I know I have put on weight. But Vikas says he does not mind at all it only means that there is We more of me for him to love!

Womans Era December (Second) 2010


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SRK: Is self-praise real praise?

n an industry where youth has a distinct edge over senior actors, it was heart-warming to know that the tallest actor in filmdom, Net-savvy Amitabh Bachchan was voted as the No. 1 personality acquainted with the news media!
Amitabh was voted as the No. 1 personality acquainted with the news media.

f Shah Rukh Khan has decided to arrogate to himself the tag of superhero in his home production Raone, who can stop him? Whose film is it anyway? But, tell us, whats this official super-hero? Does he have an ISI mark? atrina Kaif deserves yet another congrat for stepping into the shoes of former beauty queen Aishwarya Rai-Bachchan for being the brand ambassador of Nakshtra diamond jewellery. ivek Oberoi essays the role of a politician from Andhra Pradesh. He is slain by his rivals. Ram Gopal Varma says the film titled Rakta Charitra is my most violent film. Shatrughan Sinha plays the role of N. T. Rama Rao in the film. He shaved his moustache for the role.
Now, Vivek Oberoi essays the role of a politician.


Robot film in which Ash plays the lead is a hit.

he Rajnikanth starrer Robot, the costliest film made in India so far, grossed over 950 million in the very opening weekend, also a record. Aishwarya plays the lead in the film. Called the ultimate star, Rajnikanth shared stellar honours with Amitabh in Hum.

riyadarshans Khatta Meetha may not have reaped gold at the box office, but there is no doubt that he is one of the high-profile directors in filmdom who can do justice to both comedy and action genres.

n adage says, Whats there in a name? A lot. When one has made a name, work follows from all sides. Example? LG Electronics announced the appointment of Akshay Kumar as its brand ambassador for LG Flat Play Display (FPD) segment in March 2010.

TH (Direct To Home) service came into the spotlight with Dish TV and Tata Sky. Indias biggest mobile service provider. Airtel soon launched its DTH service and signed real-life lovers Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor as brand ambassadors. The lovers have been a constant with the brand for over two years.
Airtel has signed real-life lovers Saif and Kareena as its brand ambassadors. Sharmila Tagores film retrospective is being held.

aving proved its utility, new media is indeed here to stay, more so since the emphasis is today and hereafter is bound to be on speed. Today, people want everything fast: fast mobikes, fast cars and even fast foods! hat gives the new media an edge? Its global coverage at a fast speed. Examples: Within the first two weeks, singer Sona Mahapatras video Diljale became the highest streaming video across 22 countries in Nokias network. Wow!
Sona Mahapatras video Diljale became the highest streaming video.

ts a belated but welcome tribute to the stature of Sharmila Tagore (of Devi and Apur Sansar fame) that a retrospective of her films is being held. Cinegoers in Mumbai filmdom can well recall her performances in Mausam for which she was highly acclaimed. The film was directed by Gulzar. n the top of the heap among heroines, Kareena Kapoor has been endorsing laptop company Sony Waios Vivid for over a year now. Recently she also bagged endorsements for the companys latest smart phones.


reity Zinta, co-owner of Punjab Kings XI, and Shilpa Shetty, coowner of Rajasthan Royals, must have felt a little sour in their mouths when the contracts/agreements with Indian Premiere League cricket matches were terminated for violation of some rules. oets are men of moods. Noted poet Shahayar, whose songs such as Dil cheeze kya hai, Aap meri jaan lijiye, were primarily responsible for the great success of Umrao Jaan, says hes not interested in writing songs for films. Whats more he does not feel comfortable in Mumbai. Hes being honoured with an Akademi award.

rom lovers over to couples? Micromax signs up Akshay Kumar and wife Twinkle to endorse the companys latest brand of mobiles called Micromax Bling Q55. A perfect phone for girls, it also has a mirror attached to it! Deepak Puri

Name: Dr Mamta Singh Qualifications: Ph.D. Drawing & Painting, M.A. (Gold Medal) in Banasthali University, L.L.B. (Rajasthan University), Sangeet Visharad NET. (U.G.C.) Awards: 1st prize painting (Annamali) 1988 Madras, 1st prize in Folk Music & Light Music Jaipur in 1988, Saman-vaya award, Saharanpur 1993, Gayan Peeth Samman 1994, Vishes Pratibha Samman AIBEA 1996, Karamshree 2006, Rajbhasha Samman O.N.G.C. 2006, Bharat Vikas Parishad Award, Haridwar 2006. Solo shows: Jaipur 1987, 1988, Saharanpur 1990, I.P.T. (Roorkee) 1990, G.K. Inter College, Rampur 1998, N.C.Z.C.C. Allahabad 2002, Chikitish (Kanpur) 2006, Jawahar Kala Kendra, Jaipur 2007. Group shows: Banaras University, LKA, Jaipur 1987, 1988, Kriti DirgaDelhi-1991, AIFACS 2001-03-0405 LKA, Delhi 2003; Kala Mahotsav-AIFACS, 2005; Nehru Art Gallery Bombay 2006; Amritsar 2007; Bhubaneswar 2007; Hyderabad 2008; Srinagar 2007. Collections: India and abroad Other activities: Many Rajasthani Hindi Bhajans, Ghazal, Cassettes and V.C.D. released Veena and Sonatek. Approved Singer and Writer (A.I.R). President, Snehill Sanstha (Social and Cultural). Book published: Writer of Dharohar, Srijan and Symbol of Indian Culture. Ph: 0135-2714160 Mob: 09411727037


Art is an attitude, says the artist.

By Puja Sharma
reflections and speak about my dreams and experiences. There are most satisfying moments when I am with my paintings, songs and poetry. Art is an expression, some expressions are so deep rooted within me that they urge me to find an

opularly known as the Ghazal Queen, a Rajasthanbased eminent artist is presently working as a professor in MKP College of Dehradun. Mamta Singh is always ready to make the atmosphere lively and pleasant with her sweet and welcoming voice with one of her favourites Tumhare Shahar ka mausam bara suhana laga Though coming from a very literate and well-established family, beautiful and elegant Mamta Singh took up art and mastered it to the extent that she is imparting it to her students. Her paintings are not just paintings. They are poetry and songs which she can feel them and sing. Her apparent figures force us to delve into the paintings. Mamta comments, My painting is a silent song and my songs are colourful canvases. They are canvases that I would like to do rafting on. When I am alone, then my paintings speak to me. My creations are my


Womans Era

December (Second) 2010

Womans Era

December (Second) 2010



Excerpts from an interview: You have unique style of painting? I do paint abstract but through it I bring out the reality inside. Say something about your choice of colours. I mostly paint in oil on canvas. But I do water colour also. My choice of colours is bright and I spread them evenly on the canvas with a flow of rhythm. Nevertheless, I feel at ease with oil colours. You can work with them freely. I like some qualities of acrylic colours like their transparency, quick and uniform effect, etc. Besides, you can use them easily with water colours and oil colours also. You are an artist and a popular singer too. Is there any other field that you are involved with? I love children and help them in every way possible. I work for these children through an NGO named Snehil Sanstha, which helps in bringing up poor children. I contribute my part to it. To what extent do you feel your life has been affected by art? Well, art has deeply affected my life. I feel art is in every moment of

life. Though life is very long and if you see it in wide perspective you will be horrified to see its realities. But my way of looking at life is different. I see art in each fleeting moment. Life reciprocates in myriad ways sometimes it presents itself in the form of ghazal, sometimes in the form of song and sometimes in the form of art. It appears as if time is less and precious. Perhaps due to this feeling even dreams also make portraits and create and sing songs for me. How do you manage to handle so many faculties so deftly? I dont know exactly myself. But my subconscious keeps on collecting all the reflections that appear in my dreams. It sorts them out, categorises them and presents them as visuals when I start working on the canvas. Then automatically my hands set to work, guided by these visuals and help me to transfer these visuals on the canvas. Sometimes, it is hardly a matter of hours and a painting is finished. Sometimes, a painting takes many days for completion. In anyway, I enjoy the ecstasy with my full soul and body. Mind is, of course, the main driving force. Every human being is running after this ecstasy. Even the base and goal of creating is this ecstasy. You have spent a long time in Rajasthan. Has it affected your art? Yes, of course. The colourful ambience of Rajasthan, its colourful folk life, harsh living conditions all have left their impression on my art. While singing folk songs of Rajasthan, colours like red, yellow, orange, etc. have permeated into my art. The cold and verdant surroundings of Dehradun too have given soothing colours like green and blue to my art. Works of which artists have inspired you most? I appreciate the works of great masters like Picasso, Senza, Van Gogh, Huber and Yamini Roy but I dont bind my art with any particular We style.

expression. Art is an attitude. If a person is ingrained with positive value through art then with his/her fragrance and crea tivity, the whole society will flare up with progress. This is my belief and attempt as well. Her abstracts picture nature successfully. Her landscapes give a feeling of warm breeze approaching through the leaves. The rains seem to be greeting one with a warm welcome. She portrays the grassy slopes of the hills, the flowers and the trees. The line between the parts of the figure goes splendidly. They are bridging each other prominently. Her style of painting is fully committed to make her works appreciable. During an opening of her exhibition, a noted art critic, Padmashri Keshav Malik commented, There is a rich ensemble of attitudes and reality so that Mamta is blessed with a needful sensibility that makes a life of true value. I look forward to her climbing up the apex of aesthetic brilliance.


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Naveena Ganjoo Date of birth: 1962 Qualification: M.A. in Painting from Vanasthali Vidyapeeth (Rajasthan), National Diploma in First Arts from Lalit Kala Sansthan, Gwalior. Award: In 2006 she was awarded the Kala Shiromani Samman by Kala Rang, Kala Sang, Gwalior. Shows: India and abroad. Inspired by childhood memories of nature Naveena, has a Penchant for painting trees, animals and birds. (Her colour scheme is mesmerising so that one feels nature is reborn.) Presently working as Head of Department at the School of Fine Arts IPS Academy, Indore. Ph: 098260-26426 E-mail:

The paintings should have enough force so as to influence the events in the society by highlighting these issues strongly, says the artist.

By Chandrashekhar Srivastava

or artist Naveena Ganjoo art is a passion. She takes her work as worship and loves to experiment with what is usually visible to our eyes. As such, it is her perception of otherwise ordinary world that makes her art unique and stand apart. For example, in one of her paintings titled the divine flute she has shown Krishna playing flute under glossy trees. The peculiar feature of this work is that the flute is absent here, which is usually associated with the images of Krishna. About the painting,

Naveena says that as the sound has no tangible form and is infinite in character, she has done away with the necessity of flute to create the melodious sound. The result? According to the artist, the said painting received overwhelming accolade from the viewers and some of them actually heard the sound of music as if emanating from a divine flute. Naveena is the Head of Department, painting at the School of Fine Arts, IPS Academy Indore and uses oil colours as a favourite medium for expressing her thoughts on canvas. She feels that the society has a great role to play, as an artist is constantly moulded by the situation, circumstances, period of time etc. She feels that contemporary issues should be reflected in the paintings. At the same time, the paintings should have enough force also so as to influence the events in the society by highlighting these issues strongly. Excerpts from an interview: In one sentence, tell us why do you paint? I paint because this is my passion.


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December (Second) 2010


Womans Era

December (Second) 2010


the nature a lot which is my inspiration and constant companion. Presently, I am greatly pained by the fact that the tiger is going to be an extinct species. Therefore I am making an art series on tiger named loneliness to make every citizen aware of their responsibility to preserve beautiful gift of nature. Did you ever face any difficulty in keeping up with tight schedule of painting work? How do you cope up with the pressure of your profession? Since painting is my passion there is no holiday in my life. As children were born I had set apart a lot of time for bringing them up. During the difficult days, my husband himself being an artist was very supportive of me. Ups and downs are part of life of every artist. For some it is the economic let-down, some others running out of ideas. Every artist learns a great lot from these movements. The supportive system around me always helped me. What role did your family play in moulding you as an artist? I was born in an artistic family with an ethos of sound and colours. As a little child I played with colours. Colours of nature always mesmerised me. This is reflected in my style of painting. What is art for you? For me art is worship. In what way artists are different from other people? An artist is in the world but not of the world. They create a world for themselves and live in its ecstasy. What you would be if you were not an artist? As a student in school I always played sitar, at the same time painted. We I could have become a sitarist.

Please tell us about your favourite painting. What were you thinking while creating this particular painting? One of my paintings named DIVINE FLUTE'' shows Krishna playing the flute under glossy trees. While painting this I was inspired to do away with the flute as sound is formless it has no beginning and end, therefore to depict the reality of sound it was apt to do this. During the exhibition many people commented that even though the flute was not painted they could experience the divine music of flute played by Krishna in the painting. What medium do you use? Why have you chosen this medium? Different artists use different mediums to express their thoughts. I like to paint in oil because it is very close to my finished style of painting. I am very friendly and comfortable in this to express myself. Is painting your full time profession? What changes you have seen during your career in art? I am H.O.D. for painting in School of Fine Arts, I.P.S. Academy, Indore, for past seventeen years. From my experience I feel, compared to the last decade these last few years have 98

brought a vast group of people to this field including students and great many artists. Art is becoming part of the life of the people all around. It is a positive sign that there are regular arts exhibitions in this area. How much influence does the society have on art? And how much does art affect the society? Society has great influence on art and literature. Every artist is moulded by the situation, circumstances, time period, etc. We are in a post-modern era which brings fast changes in society. From time to time I was influenced by different issues of the society. The subject matter of my every painting depicts nature, human beings, animals, birds and trees. I observe Womans Era

December (Second) 2010

A new fitness mantra for health-conscious people. By Suman Vats


here is an increasing demand for natural and organic products, something you consume or use for surface application. It is the same audience that has now begun to demand products of this nature and expect a more benefits than mere refreshment. They are evaluating the benefits with the price, quality, availability, convenience and taste. There was a time when the market was dominated by fizzy and carbonated drinks. Then there were some who tried to promote

concentrates or preparatory drinks. Each was trying to woo the youth and adults through different game plans. Be it advertising or sponsorships, every other brand was trying to play the same game, supposedly in a different way, which led them to nowhere. Ironically, lately, fizzy drinks have now started to promote themselves in TV channels as well. There are some who have started resembling the human body or trying to gain insights from the physique. But if you look at the category, there is another segment of natural drinks derived from fruits, which are gaining heavy importance and the demand

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for such products is on the rise. People are looking for hygienic, healthy drinks with no artificial flavours or colours. Worldwide market: The market of the health drinks is worldwide and covers every part of the world. They are popular at the same level, whether it is a developed country or an underdeveloped one. The main consumers for the health drinks are from the different walks of life but the majority of them come from the younger and older generations alike. The targeted consumer segment is professional ladies who have no time to make breakfast or school tiffins for kids. In a printed advertisement, you will see a tiffin is shown that has few pieces of bread and a branded tetra pack, not only that it is hard to carry a half-eaten mango but a halfconsumed bottle of juice. Secondly, the health drinks are 100 per cent pure and can stay for a period of time. The health drinks market is overwhelming in terms of choices, information, and product claims that range from providing energy to disease prevention. In the heat of a decision most people simply choose what is immediately and easily available. The selection of the right health drink can be simplified by categorising the types of health drinks, identifying their strengths and weaknesses, and then following specific guidelines in making the healthiest choice.

Provides essential nutrition: Health drinks are usually soft drinks specifically designed to provide energy, nutrition and health to the human body. These drinks provide the essential nutrients to the body for speedy growth and recovery in the case of any injury or ailment.

They generally supplement the deficiency in the intake of the essential nutrients for the body in much lower quantities in our regular diet. With consumption, health drink makes the weak and tired body fresh. Even the fat body becomes slim in a few weeks. The health drink is not only to relieve thirst, but there are some nutrients inside this drink, such as vitamins and minerals. All the health drinks are restricted to less calorie intake and high minerals and vitamins. Ten years ago you were lucky to even find one health drink supplement out there, one that had any benefits to it. If you look in any of your local health food stores you will find endless such drinks. Within the next five years these nutritional health drink supplements will be a trillion-dollar industry and everyday people like you can make a good living and retire early by being involved with one of these companies. New buzzword: Today, a variety of health drinks fill up the shelves of grocery stores. It has become a new buzzword for the health-conscious consumers. In todays world, when the stress level in people has risen considerably, health drinks give instant energy and boost stamina. Even one, they are convenient to carry and easy to use because of their handy packaging. For people who survive on junk food or eat out often, health drinks can be a very good option. There are also health drinks from vegetables which are better known as functional beverages. These are great to have since many of us dont eat a salad daily. The only problem is that you get essential nutrients from various vegetables, so you have to buy different products and take it alternately. The next classification is the basic fruit juice such as orange juice, grape juice, apple juice, pineapple juice, and the like. These juices are full of the vitamins and minerals required by the body for cellular metabolism, providing energy, and the necessary water for



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hydration. The newest health drink is called the cell renewal formula because it is a combination of fruit and vegetable extracts mixed with herbs and other plant compounds. Sip energy: Need an energy boost? More people than ever are turning to so-called energy or health drinks for increased stamina, alertness, better workouts, even late night partying. These health drinks are now being incorporated into our daily diet and replacing coffee, juices, and even daily vitamins. Some of the benefits include rejuvenation, improved eyesight, anti-ageing, increased mental clarity, antioxidant, antiinflammatory, blood cleanser, better immune system, absence of pain, good heart and even help in slowing certain cancers. Health drinks, especially fruit juices, are perceived as anytime beverages, with consumption being spread more or less evenly between the mid-mornings, afternoons and evenings. They includes taste, health, purity and nutrition and Generation X is as inclined to sipping fruit juices as colas, with teenagers driving the maximum trials. The sale of fruit juices in urban Indian households has increased considerably as it is believed that they provide greater nutrition owing to their fortified status. Generally, orange juice is fortified with calcium, or vitamin D or both as they can be easily absorbed by the body because

and lifestyle through friends circles infect one another, the psyche takes a new shape. It is the time when the decision maker is the consumer himself or herself. The meanings change for a health drink. Now, the health drink is one which is low calorific and high as a social drink. Many types of health drinks: Energy drinks: We feel fresh after consuming the energy drink. Many people use this drink to restore stamina. The fresh sensation of this drink comes from several kinds of vitamins. Fibre drinks: Recently many fibre drinks are being found in the market, with many benefits like being good for defecation and also reducing fat. When mixed with cold water they become jelly. We can find these drink with various flavours, like orange, grape and strawberry. This jelly makes us feel full in our stomach. Fibre is very useful to the body. A fibre drink helps us when we dont like to eat the fibre food like vegetables and fruits. Isotonic drinks: After exercise our body feels tired and we want to get a drink to relieve the thirst. When after doing some exercise and heavy activity, we lose a lot of liquid which comes out through the sweat. The liquid is a electrolyte substance, such as sodium and potassium. The benefits of isotonic drinks can replace the electrolyte substances that come out of the body. Herbal drinks: There are traditional drinks which contain vegetables or fruit. Even spices can be made into herbal drinks, like ginger such as ginger, lemongrass, basil leaves and lemon. This is good for our health. There is no doubt that health drinks are good for you, otherwise doctors and other health experts will not recommend them. You can make these yourself or buy these from the store but before you bring it to the checkout counter, take the time to read what is written on the product label. A health drink should be consumed according to We laid-down conditions.

of the presence of vitamin C in the juice. Few companies sell fortified fruit juices. If you want a no-pulp orange juice with added calcium and low acid, you can go for a pure premium no-pulp low-acid orange juice. In the market, orange juice blended with other juices like tangerine, grapefruit and other citrus fruits are also available that are nutritious and great tasting. In addition to being delicious drinks, these products contain vitamin C which is beneficial to our immune system, especially with lots of cold viruses and allergies in the air. By drinking lots of orange juice, one can build up his or her immune system, and protect oneself from being susceptible to getting sick. It has been noted that the folic acid and potassium you receive from drinking one glass of orange juice will provide good heart, health and overall wellness for your body. Variations in health drinks: Today, the health segment is not restricted to milk or juices but the changing lifestyle has given different means to it for different people and at different times. As the age increases


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Today the changed social set-up and crumbling of values are driving teens to violence.
By S. Vats



n January 2009 a teenager Jeevek Nagpal had kidnapped a 12-year-old boy Manan Mahajan in Delhi and strangled him to death. Even after killing the boy, he sent a message to his father, demanding a ransom to pay off the debt of his father. In October 2007 three teenagers in Ahmedabad killed Dhyey Khambhu, their six-year-old neighbour. The youngsters wanted to raise Rs 25 lakh in ransom, hoping to lead a life of luxury later on. In August 2007 Mumbai teenager Adnan Patrawala was killed by a group of four youngsters who demanded a ransom of Rs 2 crore from his wealthy parents. In June 2007 Saurabh Tribhovan, 16, allegedly strangled Parth Panchal, 9, with a nylon rope and then hid the body in a cupboard in his house in Mumbai. Two years ago in Chennai,

11-year-old Aravind Karthikeyan was abducted by three friends, all between 15-17 years, for a ransom of Rs 5 lakh. They wanted the money to buy mobile phones and have a grand New Years Eve party at a fivestar hotel. But their plan went awry and they ended up killing Aravind. These are the few incidents of violent behaviour among teenagers, but the list seems to be endless in todays society. There was a time when the young were considered innocent. Perhaps that was a long, long time ago. For, the headlines tell their own stark truth: bone-chilling acts of crime committed by children, sometimes as young as 10.

What are the signs of teens out of control? They include violent behaviour towards family members, substance abuse, depression with suicidal tendencies, trouble with law enforcement, failure to follow household rules and accept discipline, failure to come home all night, and extreme anger. These teens can turn dangerous quickly, especially when there are other siblings in the household. Teens with these symptoms will rage and terrorise family members to the point

of violence and threaten bodily harm to family members or themselves. Violent action films are making Indian teenagers more aggressive and some are even keeping weapons to satisfy their urge or to show off, says a new study conducted in schools in Delhi and its neighbouring areas. It seems to them that violence is a normal everyday affair. The alarming findings come from a survey by psychiatrist Samir Parikh among 1,000 students in private schools in New Delhi and in the suburban towns of Gurgaon and Noida. The survey says that as a large number of children in the 14-17 age groups watch violent movies, they might be getting more aggressive. Forty-four per cent of boys said they have the urge to hit or harm someone, while the figure was 32 per cent for girls. Also, about 35 per cent of boys feel that showing some force or bullying someone is important to make friends like them more. Around 24 per cent of girls agree with this. Dr Bhavna Barmi, Senior Clinical Psychologist, Escorts Heart Institute, says, Social psychology states that violence is a learned behaviour. There are no born criminals. Children observe violence in people around them and imitate them accordingly. They may also assimilate hostile


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ideas through the media. Destructive lyrics in rap and rock songs may be doing more damage to teenagers than one can realise. These days, violent computer and video games have become immensely popular among youngsters. This may be a cause as well as effect of teen violence. Other factors that cause children to become violent may include pressure to perform, insecurity about future and reduced emotional connectivity with parental figures. There are biological, psychological and sociological factors that provoke teenagers to violence. The rush of hormones, the hurry to establish an individual identity, desire to live in the quick-access world and lead a luxurious life with a notion of enjoy now, pay later. These all lead to discomfort and intolerance if they dont get the easy life. On the verge of adulthood, teens may be responsible enough to hold down a job, learn to drive, and begin dating. But at this crossroad in their life, teens are also impulsive, sometimes jumping into situations that may not be good for them. Many teens have a sense of imperviousnessthe feeling that it wont happen to me. They also tend to reject parental values and standards and rely instead on peer standards, which can mean pushing the limits in terms of sexuality, smoking, drug and alcohol use. Violence stems from negative experiences and inputs and some children are more inclined to violence. The early environment programmes the nervous system to make an individual more or less reactive to stress. If parental care is inadequate or unsupportive, the brain may decide that the world stinks and that it better be ready to meet the challenge. This hostile readiness increases the stress hormones. The result can be teenagers who abuse siblings, classmates and even parents. The stress chemicals will reorganise the brain system. Social outcasts with antisocial personalities are born. Familial and parental love is the 108

main factor in a persons upbringing and it is immeasurably more important than material well-being. The teen years are that stage of life when they are most vulnerable to influences. Theres a strong desire to be noticed and appreciated. They just want to fulfil their aspirations by any means. For that they even plan a kidnap and dont hesitate to ask for ransom money. In Ahmedabad, a 14-year-old girl helped a 34-year-old woman hack her mother-in-law. Her motive was a brand new mobile after the job was done. The young see opportunity but cannot access it. That leads to a lot of frustration, and also accounts for a great number of violent crimes. Teenage violence often occurs as a result of learned behaviour. Many of those who commit acts of school violence have witnessed adults behaving in a similar way, or have been the victims of abuse.

No one, however, disputes that violent tendency among the young are on the rise. Children, say psychiatrists, have always had a violent streak. But a combination of factors is now driving some to extreme acts. There is a normalisation of violence today. It's happening all around us and we are no longer affected by it. That, to a large extent, is responsible for youngsters thinking that it's normal to be violent. And can you really blame them for it? After all, theres violence in movies, within families, on roads, says sociologist Arpana Anand. For the I-me-myself generation, it is normal' to regard their own needs as primary; theres no scope for negotiation here. They are, not willing to listen or see the other persons perspective. And sometimes, the need to prove their point can push them over the edge, concludes Arpana. Changing lifestyles, breakdown of joint families and lack of strong role models are leaving youngsters ruthless. No wonder then, most teenage killers come from Womans Era December (Second) 2010

dysfunctional families or homes where parents are too busy to notice unusual behaviour. Violence is prevalent among kids across all strata of society. Even middle-class kids, with supposedly strong values, have been known to commit murder. Violence can also be the result of extreme frustration; teenagers are often unable to express themselves in a calm manner. Unfortunately, violence may be used as a channel for their anger. When an unhappy teenager cannot find healthy expression in the family, he finds a family away from the family and thus the involvement with antisocial elements. Encourage your children to learn how to express themselves, without resorting to violence. At the root of all violent behaviour lies suppressed anger. Adolescents undergo a number of changesboth physical and mental. Frustration and confusion can make the transition more traumatic, leading to persistent anger. As a parent, you may need to change your own behaviour in order to help your teen. Do not react. Respond. There is no point in wishing away the anger. It must have an appropriate outlet. Ensure that your child feels secure and loved. Parents need to understand teenagers. They have a certain mindset and are thus more vulnerable. It is always important that parents supervise what the teenagers do. They should be aware of the fascinations their kids are having. Parents supervision could help save teens from becoming violent as they will be aware of their wants and activities. It is very important that you get to know the kind of world your teens are in. Most importantly, dont give up on the teen. They need to feel you love them unconditionally. They will need your support tremendously. Teens want to be able to do what they want and control the parents and household. They act as if they do not want structure and rules but in reality they do. This is how they know they are loved and that you care for their We well-being.


From the time I was a gurgling fragile piece of feather, My world revolved around a fragrant heather. The world called 'Mother' Her tender arms around me felt like lotus petals around a bee in the ecstasy of the other world. Always distinct, the scent of her love that an exodus of perfumery wouldn't confuse. From a toddler finding joy in the long tendrils of her locks, Like a palm did I shoot up. And with time which always hauled me into the rat race, came the knowledge of my self, with a head and heart of my own. But never once did this realisation crop the ties of silk bound around us; Flimsy, slimy bonds, an illusion we never knew. Differences came and did leave their prints... Never on our bonds, often on my cheek (sigh) Oh! How many times have the veggies laid disputed, undecided on the dinner table. How many evenings have seen finery lying unapproved, crumpled on the floor. Because the daughter couldn't make her mind up and the mother couldn't see eye to eye with the fall/winter fashion. Of the numerous crushes I've worn the heart on the sleeve for, All she had dismissed as toys of a teen mind, destined to last no longer than the last bubble in a glass of water. But yet from the corner of my eye, I could spot a tinge of concern mingling mangled with fear, and knew. She couldn't see her lily in sludge deep. Oh! If only I could repay her; for the countless strands of raven tresses that went down the drain fuelled by worrying about me. Fevers struck me once in a while...never overstaying the welcome like a true fair-weather friend. But no thermometer could hold its silver thread in line as it shot in a frenzy once beyond the kink, Stretching away from mother's throat eager to waste away its searing heat. How I have kneaded her brain into the groovy ravines of my fertile mind. How I have made life miserable, when so much love was handy to foster. How I've mouthed words as if sentiment was the monopoly of my heart alone. How many times she's made my bed. And filled my head with stories of fairies... Carefully masking away the creatures of the dark to where they belong. Never, ever have I been fair enough. Never once have I been a fleck of the princess she thinks me to be. A corner of my mind does always wonder, Why oh why does she have to put up... With so much, with so little in reward. Does 'Mother' spell perseverance with someone who has the heart over the head? And in the rare occasion when the head is over the heart, it is but filled with wavering vacillation. Whatever be the case, I long to unfold the leaves of this mystery book called 'Mother'; Flipping through the pages, causing a ruffle here and an earmark there and a tear mark somewhere! Shruthi Venukumar

Womans Era December (Second) 2010



Odd sleeping patterns of infants can be chaotic for their parents. Tips to tackle the situation. By Dr Kiran Bala
leep is of the brain and for the brain, and the brain is the only organ which will benefit from sleep. It is known for its pervasive, impulsive nature and it just comes. Sleep problems are all too common: every night tens of thousands of parents are woken up by their children. They are left exhausted and frustrated, and feel guilty and incompetent. All parents want their children to go to bed by themselves and sleep through the night. Unfortunately, over 30 per cent of todays parents do not have such a child. Indeed, regular night waking is the commonest problem suffered by the parents of young children, with four out of 10 children aged between six months and five years having some sort of sleep problem. However, despite this, many parents feel they are suffering alone and they have no idea of how everyone else is coping. A good nights sleep is important for the physical and emotional health of every child. Proper growth and development of children require uninterrupted sleep. And a good nights sleep helps parents perform better both outside and inside the home. It is a hard fact that no one sleeps through the night without waking. And it is natural for young children to wake more frequently in the night than adults. Parents mistakenly believe that its up to them to help their children go to sleep at night or return to sleep if they are waking at night.


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December (Second) 2010

So they rush in each time they hear a baby whimper, and cuddle it back to sleep. Thus, the child will only go back to sleep if it is cuddled. The parents may think they are soothing the child back to sleep, but in fact they are teaching it that it can only sleep if they are there. It is not surprising the child then cries out for company when it wakes up. Similarly, many newborn babies are fed to sleep. As a result, when they wake up they expect and need a soother or teat in their mouths to get back to sleep. Infants will not learn how to fall asleep on their own when parents help their children go to sleep by cuddling or feeding them. They need the chance to learn how to self-soothe and fall back to sleep. How common are sleep problems in children? The two most common sleep problems in children are: Night awakening Difficulty to settle in bed Prevalence rates for night awakening vary from 10 to 40 per cent in the first four years of life. But, if the sleep problem is established without intervention, it can persist for years. Difficulty to settle in bed is equally demanding for young parents. Teach the baby night-time is time for sleeping The newborn does not know the difference between day and night. In the first few weeks of life there is usually no pattern to eating and sleeping. A parents first job is to teach the little one that the rest period happens at night. In order to achieve this, guidelines are: Place the baby for sleeping in the crib while awake. No rocking or feeding the baby until it falls asleep. The last thing the baby should remember before sleeping is the crib and not the parent. Always remember that crying before bedtime is not bad for babies, just difficult for parents. Parents should follow regular and set bedtime routine for the child.

How to prevent sleep problems The best way to prevent night awakening and difficulty in settling for sleep in children is to teach children how to sleep alone from as early as 10-12 weeks of age. Parents should: Keep night-time encounters with children short. Wean off night-time feeding at the age of six months. Have consistent bedtime routines with their child from an early age. This consistency helps to reassure the child and also give a regular signal that night-time is coming. Example: Give a bath to the child, tell a short story, a little snuggling and a kiss then put it into its cot, awake. Encourage a transitional object like a stuffed toy or a favourite blanket at the time of sleeping. How to manage night awakening Many different approaches can be recommended to parents to manage night awakening but there are two basic principles in common: Identify the incorrect sleep associations, and teaching the child to fall asleep alone. Examples of sleep associations are: falling asleep with the parent, with a bottle or in front of a TV. Identifying and removing the night-time positive reinforcements. Examples of positive reinforcements are night-time feeding, sleeping with parents and extended parental care.

How to tackle night-time feeding This is one of the important things bothering parents. In children over six months of age feeds can be gradually decreased over one to two weeks. If the child is bottle-fed, this is most easily done by putting one ounce less of milk in the bottle each night. If the baby is breastfeed, the feeding time should be decreased gradually by 1-2 minutes each night to ensure that the child is not hungry. How to teach a child to fall asleep alone This routine works best for children under two years of age when they are still sleeping in a cot. At bedtime, the child is put in the cot when it is awake. The parent leaves the room and returns intermittently to reassure the crying child until it falls asleep. Remember, the parent should stay in the room for 1-2 minutes and not pick up the child. The parent will gradually increase the time between visits. A majority of children will be quite upset the first few nights but will learn to fall asleep alone shortly after this. Some more tips Parents can keep a diary of the childs sleep patterns. Both parents should work together. Reduce daytime sleep for the We baby.

Children are often encouraged to put on their best manners when they go to an important event. Instead of Putting on our best manners, like a special outfit to wear, let us become them. Expose your children to international graces and life skills like Art of conversation, social graces, dining etiquette, confidence building, self management (time, anger and stress), public speaking, memory retention, handling bully and much more @ International School of Etiquette, Delhi. Womans Era

International School of Etiquette

December (Second) 2010



All about bronchiectasis of the lung.



By Dr K. K. Pandey
What is bronchiectasis all about? Bronchiectasis is the other name for the chronic infection and inflammation of the branches of the windpipe inside the lung. In this conditions of bronchiectasis, the wall of the windpipes due to infection and inflammation becomes unusually weak. On account of these changes, the branches of the windpipes are no longer able to maintain their tubular shape and in the process, assume abnormal shapes like that of a balloon or cylinder. This weakened wall of the windpipe is unable to throw out the sputum collected inside the branches of the windpipe. This results in the accumulation of a large amount of phlegm inside the windpipe. This stagnation of sputum blocks the tubes as well as branches of windpipe connected to the lung tissue. As a result of the obstruction, the part of the lung supplied (attached to) by these tubes, gets damaged and constricted due to destruction. This leads to a state of inflated lung like a balloon. The lymph nodes and blood pipes adjacent to the destroyed lung also become enlarged. The net result of these changes is that the damaged lung as well as the windpipe is unable to function properly and the affected patient develops a lot of complications. Womans Era December (Second) 2010 Why does a bronchiectasis occur? In our country, the main reason for developing bronchiectasis is the recurrent infection in the windpipe and its branches. The main cause of the recurrent infection of the lung is the infection of pneumonia. If pneumonia is not controlled effectively in its early stages, the problem of bronchiectasis of the lung may emerge in the course of time. The second important reason for the development of bronchiectasis is the tubercular infection. After proper medication, although tubercular infection leaves the lung, it makes a lasting impression on the lung and windpipe before leaving. As a result, the anatomy of these structures undergoes a change. This alteration in anatomical structure helps other types of germs to settle inside permanently. These germs start disturbing the normal function of the windpipe. This is where bronchi ectasis starts. In some persons, the bronchiectasis of the lung is present since birth. In children, the common cause of bronchiectasis is generally cystic fibrosis, a congenital disease. Sometimes, deficiency in blood of a special enzyme called Alpha-1 antitrypsin, the presence of rheu matoid arthritis and other autoimmune diseases become important causes of the development

ave you ever caught an infection of pneumonia during your childhood? If so, the infection then might have been brought under control to some extent with effective medication but in the end you started having bouts of recurrent coughs. Though the fever had subsided after treatment, the complaint of cough and passing of phlegm still persisted. It might also have happened that your lung was infected with TB which was controlled after a few months of anti-tubercular treat ment, but the cough still persisted even after the TB infection got cured. Have you been suffering from recurrent coughs and passage of phlegm since the age of 14? Some times, you might have spat out blood along with sputum and on some occasions, the amount of blood spat out was significant. Now, there is no fever, but the problem of coughing and phlegm continue, which increases in amount especially during the winters. All these complaints lead to one suspicion: you are probably suffering from bronchiectasis of the lung. Take this disease seriously right now, otherwise you might face unpleasant and tormenting complications in future.

of bronchiectasis. Generally children are in the habit of putting small things, like peanuts, coins and fish bones into their mouths. These small things when swallowed by children, some times, actually enter the windpipe instead of entering the food pipe and thereafter going down the windpipe blocking it. At this point, part of the lung supplied by the blocked pipe starts developing bronchiectasis. How to suspect the disease of bronchiectasis? Recurrent chest infections Breathing difficulty Recurrent episodes of unrelenting cough which disturbs you a lot Passing of a very thick and pus-like phlegm during coughing Sometimes, a cough bout lasts longer and there appears a gurgling sound during breathing What to do if you are suffering from bronchiectasis? If you are a sufferer of bronchiectasis, immediately consult a thoracic surgeon and always go to

Chest X-ray showing destroyed lung due to recurrent cough and phlegm.

For the successful and effective treatment of bronchiectasis, it is essential to find the cause of it. For the purpose of effective treatment, the correct use of antibiotics is most desirable. All efforts always should be put to remove sputum from the damaged windpipe. Some special medicines like bronchodilators and mucolytic agents have proved effective to some extent. Some special physical postures and physiotherapy are helpful in the effective removal of phlegm.

Part of the lung suffering from bronchiectasis becomes the permanent source of infection and coughing.

CT scan showing bronchiectasis of lung which is an important cause of persistent coughing.

Important role of surgery in the treatment of bronchiectasis If any part of the lung has already been destroyed due to bronchi ectasis, it is a wise step to get that damaged part removed by a thoracic surgeon, otherwise the healthy part adjacent to the damaged one will get Lung totally destroyed due to neglect of diseased. bronchiectasis of the lung. In our country, a a hospital where the facility majority of physicians SOMETIMES, of modern investigations like underestimate the DEFICIENCY IN broncoscopy, thoracoscopy, effective role of surgery BLOOD OF A spiral CT, angiography and SPECIAL ENZYME in the treat ment of bronchial artery embolisation and CALLED ALPHA-1 bronchiectasis is available. The role of a ANTITRYPSIN, THE therefore patients of chest X-ray and spiral CT is bronchiectasis are PRESENCE OF very significant in evaluating deprived of the timely RHEUMATOID bronchiectasis. On the basis and correct advice of ARTHRITIS AND of these results, we can say surgery. It is harmful to OTHER with surety which part of the leave the damaged part AUTOIMMUNE lung and windpipe is of the lung as such DISEASES diseased and destroyed. All inside the chest. BECOME this information helps Sometimes, patients IMPORTANT formulating the correct of bronchiectasis pass a CAUSES OF THE treatment strategy. DEVELOPMENT OF large amount of blood BRONCHIECTASIS. during coughing. This What is the correct puts their lives at risk. treatment of bronchiectasis? Therefore, patients of bronchiectasis A patient suffering from should not sit idle, if the amount of bronchiectasis should either on his blood coughed out has increased own consult an experienced thoracic significantly. Such patients should surgeon or request his physician to immediately go to a large hospital arrange consultation with a thoracic and consult a thoracic surgeon, who or chest surgeon. It has been can find ways to control bleeding observed in India that the surgeon either through embolisation or surgery who is more involved with heart to save patients lives. surgery does not have much The patients of bronchiectasis experience with lung surgery. There- should start correct treatment during fore, one should go to a hospital initial days, otherwise if both the where lung surgery is routinely done lungs are engulfed by bronchiectasis and a 24-hour availability of a full- completely, there will be no We time thoracic surgeon is there. alternative to a lung transplant. Womans Era December (Second) 2010




Take charge of your health care.

By Vasantha Reddi
is the authority and the patient is the follower. This is slowly and steadily being replaced by the new concept of patient-centred health care, where the patient is an active participant in the health care process and is an equal partner with the doctor in making decisions about the treatment. In this new concept, the doctors role is twofold one of treating and another of educating the patient. Increasing number of studies report the benefits of patient participation in the treatment process. These benefits include feeling cared for, better treatment compliance, and treatment outcomes. Like Mallika, more and more people are taking a proactive role in their own health care and that of their family the world over. They research and demand for information to help them make informed decisions about their health. That is what being a savvy patient is all about. That is what you should be doing. How to be a savvy patient. Here are some ways for you to put into practice: Understand your medical condition: Dont ever go to the doctors office clueless, expecting the Womans Era December (Second) 2010 doctor to take care of everything. That is a dumb thing to do. Take an active part in your health care and do your research. In these days of Internet, there is no excuse for lack of information. But be careful about the Internet sources, which may not be up to date or complete. Visit sites like WebMD at and Mayoclinic at, of which provide extensive and authentic health information for all types of medical conditions and are constantly updated. Choose the right doctor: This takes some homework on your part. Find out where the doctor got his or her degree from and reputation in treating your medical condition. You can get this information by talking to your neighbours, friends, and colleagues. You can even talk to other patients in the doctors office to learn about the doctor. Gauge the doctor by the way he or she talks. Is he or she talking down to you? Is he or she listening to your questions and answering them? If not, it is a sign that you need to go somewhere else for your health care. Doctors have to explain to you the treatment process

allika took her mother to a cardiologist, as she was complaining of chest pain for a couple of days now. After some basic questions, the doctor asked when and how she was feeling the pain. The elderly lady explained that she got it whenever she climbed stairs. To this the doctor mumbled, Then dont climb the stairs. The doctor then prescribed some pills for her and told her that she needed to take them for 10 days and called the next patient. Mallika then asked what the problem was and what the pills were for. The doctor replied with an air of dismissal that she would have to go through five years of medical training to understand, and it was best for them to just follow his instructions. Mallika was aghast. She quickly recovered and told the doctor that she would not need his services any more and got her mother treated elsewhere. All of us have experienced this kind of depersonalised attitude of doctors sometimes in our lives. Such an attitude denotes the paternalistic practice of medicine where the doctor

and answer all your questions. There are a lot of doctors who are patient, compassionate and knowledgeable of patient-centred health care out there. Seek them out. Hospital affiliation can also be a consideration as some hospitals have better doctors and facilities that suit your needs. Keep a list of symptoms and medicines: Having a list of your symptoms can be very helpful for an efficient doctor visit. This involves your being aware of your body, of what is going on with it, what you have done or not done, eaten, or not etc Women should keep a note of the date of last menstrual period. In addition, keep a list of the medicines and their dosage (for example: 125 mcg Levothyroxine you will find this information on the medicine package) you take on a daily basis. If you have trouble finding the name and dosage information on the medicine packet,

take the medicine packet or bottle with you to the doctor. Make sure you tell your doctor about all the medicines you take to prevent any possible drug interactions that can lead to serious health conditions like rashes, severe vomiting and dizziness. You can even take a printout of your medications and give it to the receptionist at your doctors office and ask to put it in your chart. This can be a big time-saver during your clinic visit, and will also help your doctor make a note of it before he or she sees you, and can be kept as a record. Understand the importance of respect and collaboration with your doctor: Yes, you need to work towards a good working relationship with your doctor, just as you do with your boss and colleagues. There are a lot of challenges in your doctors office like limited time, large number

of patients and emergency cases. Be considerate and mindful of these problems and your doctors limited time. Tailor your questions accor dingly. Dont go on and on about your ailment, the stuff you read on the Internet, about what your friend said, etc. This canannoy your doctor and your visit may not be effective. Also, be prepared ahead of time to stay longer than expected. There can be an emergency case. Practise good communication habits: This tool is effective not just in your doctors clinic, but in all areas of life. Be polite, but at the same time assertive. Dont act like a scared bunny. That can make the other person want to take control of you. Be a well-organised patient. Prepare questions and write them down before you leave home. Writing down helps you organise the questions in your mind in a manner that will help you communicate intelligently with your doctor. It also helps you manage the limited time available to you at your doctors office.

Womans Era December (Second) 2010


Always ask what to expect: Whether it is with a drug prescription or surgical procedure or hospitalisation, always find out what to expect. For example, if your doctor prescribes a medicine, ask if there are any side-effects like nausea diarrhoea and to be expected. This can save a lot of worry and a trip to your doctors office. If your doctor sends you for a medical test, ask what the results would mean, whatever they may be. When you receive your medical test report, look for what the normal range for that test is. This information will always be given in your medical report against your results. For example, the normal range for haemoglobin in blood is 12-16 gm per decilitre for adult women. This knowledge will help you understand where you stand. For more information, go to the Merck Manual at the web address


ml. All medical information is conveniently organised in an alphabetical order along with a search option. If you are going for surgery, here are some questions you should have answers for at the least. How long will the surgery be? What is the recovery time? How long is the hospital stay? How long before you can be independent? What are the possible complications of the surgery? Is there more to the treatment like rehabilitation? All this information gathered ahead of time will prepare you and your family to take care of you, your job, and your household. Stick with your treatment plan: Studies show that not sticking to the prescribed treatment plan by patients is a huge problem in health care. It is called non-compliance to treatment plan. If you are prescribed antibiotics, take the pill on time and complete the course. Dont stop taking the medicine when you start feeling good. This can lead to a new problem called antibiotic-resistance and the drugs will stop working efficiently for you. If exercise is indicated after surgery, be diligent and do it. Dont Womans Era December (Second) 2010

sit around saying that you have to take rest because you just had surgery. That concept is old. Sitting around would only delay recovery and put additional pressure on your family. Focus on getting back to action. If forgetting to take your medicine is your problem, coincide taking your medicine with an activity you do every day, like brushing your teeth, or put a note for yourself on your kitchen table or the front door. So, be proactive about your health care. There may be resistance at first from all quarters including yourself. But keep doing it and encourage your family and friends to be savvy patients. As the concept of patient-centred health care gathers mass, the system itself will change and policies will come into place from the Indian Medical Association and the government. Remember to be responsible, collaborative, and goaloriented where your health is concerned. Dont slack off. Hey! It is after all your health we are talking about. References: Greenfield S, Kaplan S, Ware JE. Expanding Patient Involvement in Care Annals of Intern Medicine 1985 Apr; 102(4): 520-8. Paul Tran T, Warren PS, Muellman RL, Wadman MC. 2003. Provision of clinically based information improves patients perceived length of stay and satisfaction with ED. American Journal of Emergency Medicine. 29 (6): 506-509. Woolf SH, Chance EC, Harris R et al. Promoting informed choice: Transforming health care to dispense knowledge for decision making. Ann Intern Med. 2005; 143: 293-300. Expanding patient-centred care to empower patients and assist providers. Research in Action. We Issue 5.


Q & A
I am in a true fix. My good friend and I happened to like the same boy in college but he chose me. Somehow this created a rift but I was able to deal with it by not talking about the guy to my friend. Now it has been five years and my friend still behaves as though this boy is not important enough. We are however planning marriage soon. Will I have to say goodbye to my friend? Friendships can last only when both friends take the responsibility of being mature. Your friend has behaved childishly long enough and it is time for her to behave like an adult. Tell her how important this man is to you and you are planning a future with him. It is up to your friend to either behave in a mature manner and accept it or lose a friend. You have done your duty for all these years by leaving out an important part of your life from the friendship, it is time for her to reciprocate. I am 32 years old and very small chested (32A). My husband loves me very much but wants me to have a bigger chest. He wants to pay for the surgery and we can afford it. I am worried about health issues though even I would like to look more curvy and feminine. What should I do? You should first of all explore all your options. Yes, breast augmen tation has been done for years and within limits it is quite safe but the risk is always an individual factor and you need to feel safe about what you are going to undertake. Discuss with your surgeon about what he suggests

and what you can expect from the procedure. Check his references and the work he or she has done in the past. If you have no objection to the surgery and also desire it for yourself you should go for it. My husband of two years has recently admitted that he is a bi-sexual. If he desired another woman I could have dealt with it but how do I compete with another man? Also, I am worried about the health issues of sharing my husband with another man. I found I am pregnant and am now really confused about what to do. Your dilemma is totally under stand able. You have a couple of options. You can decide to terminate the pregnancy, go for a divorce and

opt to get married again. Or you could decide to keep the child and still go for a divorce. The last option is most difficult to consider ask your husband to be very, very careful in his bi-sexual encounters outside marriage and get periodically checked for any STDs including HIV, and you continue to be married to him. None of the options is easy, so you will have to think very hard and then act accordingly. My father was an alcoholic and my mother was the main parent in my life. She never said anything against my father who used to disappear for long spells from our lives. I always thought he left us because he did not like me as a daughter. Now, I find I am always angry with him and he is trying to be part of my life and I am so angry with him. How do I deal with him and this anger? You have given a very bare sketch of your present life. It seems you are now married and have your own life but your father is trying to know you better. If you feel ready to forgive him for all the pain caused to you during your childhood it would be advisable to make your peace with him. But it is important to know that he is now not an alcoholic any longer as that process would hurt you and your new life. You can even ask him to go for family therapy with you to a good counsellor to settle old issues which must still cause you pain. My elder sister has recently been divorced. She is very unhappy after her divorce and feels she has been denied her share. I want to help her find her feet but all she wants is pity. What can I do to help her? When a marriage breaks up we all need to grieve in our own ways but it has to end some time logically. Sit with your sister and tell her that she has a little more time to cry over it but life must go on and she needs to choose a path with a clear mind. You just need to also provide her with a lot of silent support. Be firm but not critical, and if she is really depressed she must seek out medical help as well. 119

My best friend selected her groom from an Internet site. She is now in Canada and very happy. I am concerned about my marri age and want to choose well. Finding somebody through Internet for a lasting marriage is a lot of hard work and you should ask your friend how she was able to sift through possible grooms. A lot of unscrupulous people give wrong information and even post incorrect photographs. You need to be very systematic and know exactly what you are looking for and must be very careful when you start meeting prospective grooms. Ask your friend for guidance and follow basic principles of Internet dating/groom searching. Womans Era

December (Second) 2010



Every role, a challenge.

By Suman Bajpai
Initially, it was very difficult for me to connect with the girl Suhana, understanding her is still a difficult task. How was your television journey so far? Fantastic! The kinds of roles I am getting are different, creative and challenging and push me as an actress. I am extremely satisfied with the kinds of roles I have done. And I think its just the beginning and Ive got a long way to go. Ive learned a lot of things on the sets itself and the shows that Ive done so far have made me responsible and knowledgeable about so many things.

agini Khanna is the name which makes us remember the combination of BhaskarBharati the serial which aired on TV some time back. The girl who has made her place in every ones heart be it as Bhaskar, Bharati or else as Suhana of Sasural Genda Phool, is feeling very lucky to have bagged such different and offbeat roles at the beginning of her career. Ragini is one of the few actresses on television to have a hit record. Be it Radha Ki Betiyaan, Bhaskar-Bharati or Sasural Genda Phool, Govindas niece has always been friends with success. Even her staunchest critics

will agree her portrayal of Suhana has a big role to play in the success of Sasural Genda Phool. WE had a small chit-chat with her, on her life and ambitions. Excerpts: How is Ragini in real life apart from her onscreen nature? Onscreen she seems to be a very chirpy and bubbly kind of person. Ragini is a very mature, responsible person who likes to take her own decisions as she thinks that she has grown up enough to do so. She is the kind of person who has a lot of patience and is independent. She is not like Suhana, as Suhana has the fun element, and Ragini is calm, more mature and responsible. Womans Era December (Second) 2010

So what made you choose Sasural Genda Phool? Its a really unique series. It is about people from very different backgrounds and so there is a lot of conflict in ideologies. I play the character of Suhana, a girl who has been brought up in an extremely rich family but is married into a middleclass family. She is temperamental and extremely spoilt. It was fun playing her, even though I am nothing like her. Everyone I meet these days asks me about the reasons for Sasural Genda Phool becoming popular. Frankly speaking, I do not have an answer. It is very difficult to pinpoint any one reason for its success. Probably it has something to do with the storyline and the fact that everyone can relate to it that makes the difference. The characters of the show are so strong, yet so homely that one can relate to them all. What is/was more difficult to portray: Bhaskar or Suhana? I guess they are both equally challenging. As, while essaying Bharti, it was difficult to be a man and while essaying Suhana, it is difficult to behave like a girl. Both are mental characters. Suhana is a very mad character, she throws lots of tantrums and does a lot of hungama. There are certain things which I have learned through her. But all said and done, the entire journey is cool and going quite well. Do you feel that you are settled in your life yet? Any plans to marry soon? No way! This is just the beginning and I have a long way to go from where I am today. As for marriage, it is not on cards theres still time. Have you opted for acting as a career just because you are actor Govindas niece? With childhood aspirations were leaning towards becoming a singer (she learnt singing for 15 years!), ! acting wasnt something I had given serious thought to. I even learnt dancing with the thought that one fine

day Id cut my own album. One fine day, I just woke up to acting probably. I got a job, earned about 30-40,000 and used that to pay for a portfolio. I always had this thing in my mind that whatever I would do Id do it on my own. This is how I began modelling, started auditioning for ads and did about 30-40 commercials, before moving to auditioning for television roles. I went through a considerable ordeal, giving some 80-90 auditions for television shows before getting Radhaa Ki Betiyaan Kuch Kar Dikhayengi. Have you signed for a film? Yes, I have and Im very excited. I have just finished shooting for it. But its too early to reveal anything about it. It is a good product and sweet role. Your future projects? This film as I told you. Right now I want to concentrate on just Sasural Genda Phool. I like doing only one thing at a time. Will you give preference to films over television? I have always maintained I would do good work regardless of the medium. I am ready to work for television, films, ads, and the theatre, even if it is a road show. If I like the character, I will do it. As long as the work is interesting, the medium doesnt matter. How are you associated with the Kurkure campaign? This is your first ad campaign, why have you opted for this brand only? This is a campaign called; spend time with the family in which we are asking the viewers to send their ideas. I am one of the judges along with Juhi Chawla and Jaspal Bhatti. We are living in times when people are hardly spending time with their families. Doing that and being rewarded for it is typical Kurkure - full of fun, masti and all about families. The campaign will invite consumers to send their ideas on spending time with their families to win exciting prizes on a daily basis. The best entry of the day will win a family trip to Disneyland (Hong Kong) and one lucky winner, the mega prize a house. We are getting very intelligent as well as funny ideas on spending time with the family. Honestly, I am very fond of Kurkure and it is a good thought to find out how people can spend time with their families. I could connect with this thought because, while shooting continuously, it becomes very difficult for me to We spend time with my family. 121

Womans Era December (Second) 2010


Everything everyone needs to know in a nutshell. By Amrinder Bajaj

ubstance abuse has become an international crisis. Tragically, like AIDS, it destroys people in the prime of their lives. It cuts across all sections of society sparing neither gender nor age of the individual. Rich and poor fall prey to its deadly allure. Alarmingly, most cases of substance abuse begin in adolescence. Though boys outnumber girls, an increasing number of females are getting addicted to drugs. Prejudice against girls taking drugs is greater than men as they are groomed to become caretakers of the family and society and a deviant lifestyle could lead to disruption in expected gender roles. Moreover, substance abuse can have disastrous effects on pregnant females. The profile of the adolescent prone to substance abuse is one who is rebellious and indulges in aggressive behaviour. He or she is an academic underachiever and socially maladjusted. There is a feeling of isolation, alienation and neglect. Nuclear families, working parents, marital discord and broken homes further lead the adolescent down the path of self-destruction, especially if his or her peers are drug abusers.

The above traits are common to adolescents of both sexes. Girls most likely to succumb to substance abuse are: The innocent type: This type of girl is passive, docile, isolated and lonely. She has a poor self-esteem and is morally weak. Quite often, a male on whom she is dependent introduces her to the habit. All too soon, she becomes helpless to resist the power of the man and the drug(s) he supplies. The bohemian type: The girl is usually forward, sex ually active, free, irrespon sible, morally condemned and out to have a good time. The new-generation girl: Young girls doing the popular dance/club scene, taking their cue from their partners, consider cigarettes, alcohol and drugs as recreational pastimes as good a way as any to wrap up a night out. Curiosity goads youngsters to 'see what it is like'. They give drugs a try thinking that they are in control and can opt out whenever they feel like. To their dismay, they realise soon enough that it is the drug that has taken control of them. The stages they go through are: Experimentation to discover the effect. Soon they require the drug to seek the effect. This is followed by repeated use. Habituation Drug tolerance when a greater dose is required for the same effect. Drug dependence when the person cannot do without the drug. Withdrawal symptoms when the effect of the drug wanes. Besides the health risks due to drug abuse per se, there are also the risks (due to needle sharing) of AIDS and hepatitis B a fatal triad. The substance abuser resorts to theft, prostitution, drug peddling and other criminal activities to obtain money for

Drugs abused are:


the drugs their bodies crave. In the case of a woman, besides the above, drugs affect her mental health, her genito-urinary system, reproductive capacity and the health of her baby. The stepping stones on the path of destruction are: Cigarettes Beer or wine Hard liquor Marijuana Other illicit drugs like cocaine, heroin Multiple drug abuse Recovery when it occurs is in the reverse order.

Womans Era December (Second) 2010

Cocaine: Street names are coke, snow and stardust. It is a central nervous system stimulant and is derived from the cocoa plant. It is available in the form of an odourless, white flaky powder that can be sniffed, injected or inhaled as fumes after being heated. Highs: Heightened alertness, euphoria, and reduced appetite. Lows: The effect lasts for 30-40 minutes after which there is a comedown characterised by anxiety, paranoia, depression and insomnia. Physical and psychological tolerance builds up rapidly. The person develops tremors, muscle twitching, cold sweats, nausea, increase pulse rate and BP and mood changes. Long-term effects: Nervousness, excitability, mood swings and bronchitis. There is loss of appetite, sleep and potency and a feeling of persecution. Sharing of needles can lead to AIDS and hepatitis B. Effects on women: Cocaine promises weight loss and increased energy levels, which may seem attractive to women. Most are unaware of the fact that it can also cause shorter and scantier periods and finally complete cessation of menstruation. Those with a history of urinary tract infections are prone to recurrence on account of dehy dration. If pregnant, it can lead to bleeding as a result of placental separation, abortion, premature labour or stillbirth. Crack: This is a very expensive, chemically altered form of cocaine. It is either smoked or inhaled as fumes. Highs: There is an intense high of about 10-15 minutes. Lows: This is followed by a comedown 'crash' leading to depression, tiredness, irritability and panic. It is 123

to decrease in fertility. Complications are rare. Babies get addicted in the uterus and have to withdraw under medical supervision. Regular use leads to erratic periods and cessation of menstruation altogether. Heroin can be detected in urine one-two days after last use. Cannabis (Marijuana): Street names include ganja, hashish, pot and grass. It is usually smoked as a joint but can be eaten or brewed in tea. Highs: Enhanced sense of wellbeing, relaxed, talkative, happy, giggly and social with heightened senses. Lows: Thirst, hunger, reduced concentration and impaired memory. Paranoia, anxiety and nausea if taken along with alcohol or smoked with tobacco. Long-term effects: Lethargy, laziness and short-term memory loss. As no filter is used while smoking, it leads to a high incidence of lung cancer and cardiac disease. Effects on women: It has no specific effect on women. Can be detected in urine twoseven days after moderate use and up to 30 days after heavy use. habit-forming as tolerance develops quickly. Long-term effects: Tolerance, dependency, paranoia, mood swings and a feeling of persecution. Health risks are grave and include cardiac arrest, bronchitis and dehydration. Effects on women: Same as in cocaine. Both cocaine and crack can be detected in urine up to three days of last consumption. Heroin: Street name smack, brown, china white. White or light brown powder that can be eaten, swallowed, smoked or injected. Highs: Creates a feeling of relaxation and warmth, relief from physical and mental pain. Lows: Withdrawal symptoms occur eight-12 hours after last dose and are characterised by sweating, nervousness and insomnia. Long-term effects: Include 124 tolerance, dependency, constipation, decreased sex drive, unstable moods and hazards of needle use. Getting rid of heroin addiction is difficult as it can lead to diarrhoea, vomiting, insomnia, and hot and cold cramps. Effects on women: Heroin leads Ecstasy: Street names include love, Dennis the Menace, dove, rolling stones, snowballs, etc. Usually come in coloured tablet form or capsules, occasionally as powder. Highs: Suppresses pain, leading to a sense of well-being and euphoria. Lows: The body temperature mechanism goes awry leading to dehydration, heat stroke, weight loss, fatigue, anxiety and depression. Death can occur if the heat stroke and dehydration are not managed actively. Long-term effects: Risk of brain damage that can trigger mental illness, epilepsy. Kidney and liver damage can occur leading to hepatitis and jaundice. Effects on women: Weight loss, menstrual upsets and urinary tract infection. Affects chances of conception. Can also affect the foetus.

Womans Era December (Second) 2010

LSD: Street names: acid, trips, tabs. Available as tablets, capsules, cubes, pellets or small squares of blotting paper with cartoons on them. Short-term effects: Start 30 minutes after use and last up to 12 hours. Causes hallucinations changes colours, shapes and sizes. Causes increased salivation and nausea. If in a good mood before taking the drug good trip. If in a bad mood you get a terrifying, nightmarish trip. Once you start a trip you cannot stop it even if it is frightening. Long-term effects: Not physically addictive but psychological upsets occur in those who have had a bad trip and have pre-existing mental problems. The mind can be permanently damaged. Flashbacks of the original trip can recur days, months even years after the original trip. Hazardous behaviour including suicide can occur. Effects on women: Not significant but best avoided in pregnancy. Prevention and treatment of drug abuse: Children should be made aware of the hazards of substance abuse through interactive sessions at home and school. They could also be shown video clippings, depicting the horrors of drug addiction as a visual impact leaves lasting impressions. They should be made emotionally strong enough to resist the temptation to experiment with drugs. The drug mafia that has a sizable profit to make from the sales of addictive drugs, is not above initiating children of elementary schools into the vice. School authorities should be particularly vigilant about sweetsellers outside their schools that feed small amounts of drugs to innocent children without their knowledge so that they become addicted. Edibles should be only bought from the canteen on the campus, where the food can be tested from time to time. Adolescents susceptible to substance abuse must be identified and given psychiatric help. Victims of familial neglect, broken homes and marital discord should be taken in

hand either by their parents/extended family or the social worker/ psychologist in school before it is too late. They should be helped to overcome their feeling of isolation, neglect and poor self-esteem. Aggression and rebellious behaviour may be attention-seeking devices. Instead of scolding and punishments give them the care and warmth they crave. Most drug abusers have peers who are already drug users/peddlers and indulge in other forms of promiscuous behaviour. Therefore, parents should be vigilant about their children's whereabouts and the type of company they keep. Erratic behavior should not be overlooked or ignored by lumping it as adolescent blues. Tremors and muscular twitching should be viewed with grave concern. To obtain money for a regular supply of a drug, adolescents resort to theft, even from their own house and prostitution. Scare tactics are usually counter-productive. It is best to mobilise youth for youth. A sustained effort is needed. There are deaddiction centres that offer admission and detoxification followed by aftertreatment care and support. Some offer home visits too later on. Treat ment should be done in the context of the family since emotional support is essential in helping the frightened adolescent to recover. Evoking feelings of guilt or indulging in lamentation and blame by the parents will serve no useful purpose at this stage. As detoxification is a difficult, and time-consuming process, the adolescent will need all the love and care, assurance and reassur ance and support his or her family can give. After recov ery, care should be taken that there are no temp tations and We relapses.



The White House

Divya gets back to her newspaper office and writes her expose of the Astha Ashram. By R. N. Sharma
The story so far
She checked the kids room. Both were sleeping. Like to have tea or coffee, Divya? Dharamendra asked. No. I am feeling very tired and would like to go to bed, she said, as she slumped in the bed. I must get up early in the morning to work on my final draft. I have already jotted down the points on the basis of which I would expand my story. Divya was up early in the morning, worked nonstop on her draft and was ready to leave for office by 7.30. Dharamendra, please ensure that the kids do not miss their school bus, Divya said. I am rushing to the office to meet Mr Bhaskar. So early? a surprised Dharamendra asked. He comes to the office only at 11. Yes, but I have already asked him to be there by eight, Divya said as she rushed out. Bhaskar, the editor of Daily Mirror who had asked Divya, a senior correspondent, to do an investigative story on the Astha Ashram, was already there when Divya reached the office. ivya took a late-evening flight and was back in Mumbai by 10.30 that night. Her husband, Dharamendra, was there to receive her. How was the trip? Dharamendra asked as he ignited the cars engine. It was hectic but successful, Divya said in a somewhat

Very quietly, Divya has learnt all aspects of the Astha Ashram its infrastructure, inmates, the funding, the swami, his treatments including a porno tape, besides sleaze.

tired voice. Could you get some material? Not material as such, she said. But I got a good insight into the working of Sadanands Astha Ashram. In fact, I have already mentally worked on the draft of what I have to write. Thats great! Dharamendra exulted. They had reached home.


Womans Era December (Second) 2010

It is a challenging job for you, Bhaskar had told faith in him. He is playing a big game and cheating the people who come to him with great hopes. In Divya before asking her to do the story on the fact, he is a big hoaxer. ashram. So far, you have been handling only soft The story is to make readers aware of assignments. I want you to investigate how far it is true that the ashram is a centre of nefarious activities Sadanands misdoings. We seek readers views on whether he really deserves to be called an icon, as and there is something hanky-panky about it and, some of the ministers, politicians, bureaucrats, because it is being patronised by powerful persons, businessmen, cine-stars and VIPs would like us to everything gets hushed up. believe. Or maybe they are part and parcel of his He had also warned her that she had to be very shady deeds. discreet about it because she could also be harmed. The story was carried in next days paper. It gave I am really surprised to see you, Divya, Bhaskar all the details of what Divya had seen and heard noted as she entered his cabin. I didnt expect you and the conclusions she had drawn from her visit to to be ready with your story so soon. the Astha Ashram with some telltale pictures. I, too, didnt expect it, sir, Divya confessed, somewhat excited. As a matter of fact, I didnt have he news story created a sensation and caused to work very hard. Everything turned out to be very ripples in political, bureaucratic and showbiz easy and smooth. Maybe because I had done my circles. As expected, those who were named in homework well. the story issued denials of having any truck with Good, Bhaskar commented. Sadanand and his ashram and accused Divya handed the draft of her story to Bhaskar, Divya and the newspaper of Bhaskar and took out her cellphone and In fact, there blackmailing Sadanand to make a fast showed the pictures she had taken, about were attempts buck. 20 of them. As Bhaskar viewed the by some In fact, there were attempts by some pictures he continued to murmur good, ministers and ministers and businessmen to sweep very good and finally said, Some of businessmen to everything under the carpet by suggesting them are revealing and can be used along sweep that the government should appoint a everything with our story. under the committee to look into the working of the Could you do any audio recording? carpet by ashram. The intention perhaps was to let Bhaskar asked. suggesting that the matters die a natural death. Yes I have been able to record the the government Despite the threats by Sadanand and his conversations I had with Radha, Saloni, should appoint followers to raid the newspaper office, the Chaitanya and Sadanand in the minia committee to paper had continued with its campaign recorder I had got stitched inside my bra, look into the against Sadanand and his ashram. though the results are not to my working of the But the story had served its purpose. The satisfaction, Divya said and added, My ashram. newspaper had received thousands of story is based on these conversations and letters congratulating and thanking Divya for daring the conclusions I have drawn from them. to bring some ugly facts to the surface about Bhaskar looked very pleased. Sadanand and his Astha Ashram and asked her to Job very well done, Divya, he said. Give me bring the matter to some logical conclusion. some time to go through your draft. After discussing The promised telephone call by Sadanands it in the editorial meeting, we should go ahead and contact man in Mumbai never came, though Divya carry it in tomorrows editions. wished he had contacted her. It would have been A relieved and happy Divya had a broad smile another evidence to corner Sadanand. as she left Bhaskars cabin. But, next on Divyas agenda was to smuggle out Radha and possibly Chaitanya, though she was he editorial team then gave its go-ahead to the doubtful if Saloni would let him go from the ashram story to be carried on the front page with an so easily, and ensure a career for Radha in the intro from Bhaskar. television world. Divya had already talked to some Bhaskar himself gave the story the headline: serial makers and was also in touch with some THE WHITE HOUSE WITH STAINED INNER police officials to help her in smuggling out Radha WALLS from the ashram. Bhaskars intro read: Divya was certain that Radha might have many Our senior correspondent Divya Mishra, has more untold stories to tell about Sadanand and his done this story to bring to light the misdeeds of Astha Ashram. Sadanand, a class-4 dropout, and how he is (Concluded) exploiting gullible followers, who continue to repose

Womans Era December (Second) 2010



The wonder medicinal plant.

By Maharaaj K. Koul

n the event of a small emergency arising due to a knife-cut or a burn in the kitchen, guess what an average Indian housewife will do! Well, no prize for answering. She will find the closest and the safest household remedy at hand the ubiquitous haldi (turmeric). India has a rich history of using plants for medicinal purposes. For many years awareness on turmeric and its use as medicine has been continuously increasing. Turmeric has been used as a herb and a spice in our country for thousands of years. This yellow rhizome became the focus of world attention when an American pharmaceutical company moved to get a patent on it. At first sight, it looks like a field of ornamental plants a little wild and unkempt with fat yellow-green leaves but undoubtedly beautiful. This is the turmeric plant, a native of South Asia. And, since time immemorial, it has been grown in India. West Bengal, Tamil Nadu and Maharashtra are its chief commercial producer States. Turmeric, botanically called Curcuma longa, belongs to the plant family Zingiberaceae. It is known by many names in India harirda, Nisha and kanchani in Sanskrit and haldi in Hindi and Urdu. I fact, the word turmeric comes from the Latin terra merita which means merits of the Earth. The turmeric plant grows up to a height of 3-4 ft and has a short and stout stem. Its leaves resemble newborn banana leaves and are up to 2 ft

long and about 6 inches wide. They emit a mango-like fragrance. Its flowers are yellow. The roots or underground rhizomes are fleshy, thick and hard. The roots are ready for market when they are cleaned and boiled for a period of 30 minutes to six hours, according to its different varieties. Then these roots are dried and sold in the market. On grinding, they yield a yellow powder having a strong aromatic odour and a pungent taste. Scientific analysis of the turmeric powder shows it to contain carbohydrate (69.4 per cent), moisture (13.1 per cent), protein (6.3 per cent), fat (5.1 per cent), minerals (3.5 per cent) and fibre (2.6 per cent). Its mineral and vitamin contents

include calcium, iron, phosphorus, thiamine, niacin and carotene. Its calorific value is 349. Chemically, turmeric contains an active constituent called curcumine which is an essential oil. It has been shown to have a wide range of therapeutic effects. It is a known antibacterial, anti-allergic, carminative, diuretic and anti-oxidant in nature. The antioxidant properties of curcumine protects us from cancer and atherosclerosis (clogging of the arteries). A recent study conducted at the Life Science Department, Mumbai University, has found that turmeric in its alcoholic extract has hypolipidemic effects. Biochemists have extensively studied the unique combination of its

properties like its anti oxidant, hepatoprotective and potential anticancer effects. There also seems to be reasoned speculation that it holds promise against HIV. While studying the effects of turmeric on people suffering from submucus fibrosis it was seen that the serum total cholesterol levels of these cases were decreased. Turmeric extract may prevent gall stone formations and incidence of colon cancer. Some of the currently used allopathic drugs, apart from their innumerable side effects, are also very expensive. The drugs prepared from turmeric may be cheap and with minimum side effects. Turmeric is not just a yellow ingredient used in cooking, it is a medicinal plant with countless therapeutic benefits. In Malaysia, turmeric paste is spread on the mothers abdomen and umbilical cord after delivery for its antiseptic properties. In Himachal Pradesh, fresh roots of turmeric are used as a vegetable to help people traverse the difficult hilly routes. A particular region of Japan where turmeric tea has been consumed traditionally and regularly, is also coincidentally the place where the highest number of centurions live.

Ayurveda credits turmeric with aiding digestion, fighting infections, treating liver and stomach problems and inflammatory disease including arthritis and ulcers and other conditions such a aches, pains, wounds and sprains. Turmeric also reduces heartburn, and is used as a topical ointment for healing wounds and eczema. A study showed that turmeric has beneficial effects in patients of allergy, asthma, respiratory problems, heart disease, Alzheimers disease, neuro-degenerative diseases, diabetes and cancer. It can modulate the immune system and is known to have anti-viral and antifungal activity. Curcumin has been shown to inhibit or stop the formation of many

different types of cancers in animals exposed to known carcinogens. According to researchers at the National Institute of Nutrition (NIN), Hyderabad, a teaspoonful of turmeric a day can keep cancers at bay. Dr Kamala Krishnaswamy and her colleagues at the NIN have found that it can also decrease the presence of cancer-inducing elements, or mutagens, in humans. Scientists from the Institute of Cytology and Preventive Oncology (ICPO), Noida, have found that curcumine protects the human body from the deadly human papilloma virus, the main cause of cervical cancer. Speaking to the press recently, ICPO director Dr B. C. Das said, Curcumine was known to have anti-cancer properties. But nobody knew exactly what type of cancer it could cure, how it could cure and where it acted. For the first time, we have shown how this compound can treat cervical cancer. And researchers from the Rutgers Universitys Ernest Mario School of Pharmacy, New Jersey, USA, have found that curry spice turmeric holds good potential for the treatment and prevention of prostate cancer, particularly when combined with certain vegetables. They noted that in contrast to the high incidence of prostate cancer in the USA, the incidence of this disease is very low in India. This is because of the dietary consumption of large amounts of turmeric in our food.

Turmeric is very effective in the treatment of skin disease and a good promoter of complexion. The modern cosmetic industry depends heavily on turmeric. Its paste should be applied to the face and other parts of the body by mixing it with milk, cream or sandalwood paste. If you have ringworm or scabies, apply the juice of raw turmeric externally to the affected area. For speedy recovery, simultaneously take turmeric juice mixed with honey orally. A totally new facet that has emerged in the past few years is turmerics ability to fight malaria. Researchers at the Indian Institute of Science, Bengaluru, have found that curcumine kills malaria parasites. On the basis of its finding, the team led by biochemist Dr G. Padmanabham, has proposed to the World Health Organisation a novel artemisinincurcumine therapy to treat malaria. The scientists have been granted a US patent for the invention which could potentially bring down the cost of treating malaria, especially the resistant variety. Malaria infects about 2.5 million people in India every year, and it is increasingly becoming resistant to commonly used drugs. Turmeric prevents the accumulation of amyloidal proteins which lead to plaque formation and initiate disease. It may also reduce 129

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the size of a haemorrhagic (bleeding in the brain caused by ruptured vessels) stroke. According to a recent study, reported in the Journal of Clinical Biochemistry and Nutrition, curcumine is also effective against the harmful impact of arsenic, a poison that can be fatal to humans. Arsenic, poisoning through drinking water is very common in West Bengal and eastern Uttar Pradesh. Used both externally and internally, some of the common

household prescriptions of turmeric include: As household first aid, turmeric powder is applied to cuts and bruises. Apply a poultice of the turmeric paste with ghee or sesame oil, when bearably hot. It is an effective remedy for sprains, wounds and inflamed joints. Turmeric powder with an equal quantity of sandalwood powder, orange peel and rose leaves is an effective paste to cure blemishes and pimples. A powder of equal amounts of turmeric, amla and sugar, if taken (about 1 gm) twice a day for a couple of weeks, is a tried medicine in conditions involving chronic pruitis and uticaria. Persons responding to seasonal changes with flu, coughs and runny noses should take honey mixed with turmeric or boiled milk with turmeric to get relief. The juice of raw turmeric

rhizome mixed with milk or butter, cleanses the intestines and prevents flatulence and chronic diarrhoea. About 20 drops of raw turmeric juice mixed with a pinch of salt, taken first thing in the morning is an effective remedy for expelling worms. The inhalation of the smoke, after burning turmeric, is recommended in unconsciousness, hiccups and bites. Ethnologically, turmeric occupies an important position in our life. It is a good and inexpensive substitute for saffron. It forms an integral part of our cuisine, ceremonies and rituals. There is an important function of applying turmeric paste onto both the bride and the groom in the Indian marriage extravaganza. Since the spice is easily available, buying in small amounts is recommended to enhance its medicinal effectiveness and even taste. So, are you a diehard fan of that aloo-gobi subzi made with lots of turmeric? Go, savour it! You will, no doubt, be safe from a lot of diseases. We

The kind taxi driver Three years ago when Mumbai experienced a heavy rainfall, every single soul was trapped and terrified. Trains, buses, taxis were all stalled. Floods had taken a heavy toll all over the city. I had just left office ad was reaching Churchgate station. But the sight was horrifying there were thousands of people crowded inside the station. No one could move an inch. I was in tears as I was alone and had nowhere to go. Suddenly, I got a call from my friend and she was about to reach the station. We decided to meet at the entrance. We met and decided that we would catch a taxi and move towards home. No taxis were ready to take the passengers to any destination as the traffic was jammed and also

because it was getting dark. Our folks at home were getting worried since we both were all alone and being girls they felt it was dangerous in such a situation. Luckily we found a taxi driver who told us that he would take us but would drops at the highway which was an hours journey by foot. We readily agreed as we saw no other option. It took us two hours just to cross a few metres and we were nowhere. It was about midnight but we had not reached any further. Hungry, alone and scared these were the apt term to describe us. The taxi guy was very kind as he got down from the cab and told us to stay calm. We wondered where he was headed. After a long time we spotted him coming with a packet in hand. To our surprise, he got some vada pav from a stall which was about to close. He offered us and, without a thought crossing our minds, we took it and ate like hungry lions. He then assured us that he would take us to our respective homes, no matter what time. We were touched by his kind gesture. In such a trauma he
Womans Era December (Second) 2010

was one hope for us. Well, it was the next afternoon that we reached our homes. My family thanked him, offered him money but he said he would take only the taxi fare which was a mere 200 rupees. Nalini Desai, Thane.

Every one of us has, sometime or other in ones life, received help,

guidance, sympathy, understanding

and love from some fellow human being. Can you recall any such event or occasion in your life, when you received such consideration and for which you are grateful? Each published anecdote will be awarded a prize of Rs 200. Send your contribution to: GRATEFULLY YOURS
E-3 Jhandewala Estate, New Delhi-110055.
Name: Mobile: E-mail:


7 9 8

10 12










21 25 27



23 26



1. Widespread in a particular area or at a particular time (9) 5. Abbreviation for tuberculosis (2) 6. Run away secretly in order to get married (5) 7. The flat cutting edge of a knife, saw, or other tool or weapon (5) 11. Having the right to do or obtain something; satisfying the appropriate conditions (8) 13. A collection of items of the same type stored in a hidden or inaccessible place (5) 14. A medicinal substance taken to give a feeling of vigour or well-being (5) 18. Used to draw attention to an interesting or amazing event (2) 19. A feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause (10) 21. Make an attempt or effort to do something (3) 22. Computer-aided design (3) 24. Move from a lower position to a higher one; come or go up (4) 26. A pole with a flat blade, used to row or steer a boat through the water (3) 27. Chemical symbol for the element iron (2)


Womans Era December (Second) 2010

1. Keep (something) from happening (7) 2. The process of eroding or being eroded by wind, water, or other natural agents (7) 3. A playing card with a single spot on it, ranked as the highest card in its suit in most card games (3) 4. A hot drink made by infusing the dried crushed leaves of the tea plant in boiling water (3) 5. A cleared space on a golf course, from which the ball is struck at the beginning of play for each hole (3) 8. An aquatic or terrestrial annelid worm with suckers at both ends (5) 9. The movement of the tide out to sea (3) 10. An animal that is hunted and killed by another for food (4) 12. An assistant or follower (7) 15. A dramatic work in one or more acts set to music for singers and instrumentalists (5) 16. An official who examines books, films, news, etc that are about to be published and suppresses any parts that are considered obscene, politically unacceptable, or a threat to security (6) 17. A routine task, especially a household one (5) 20. A group of binary digits or bits (usually eight) operated on as a unit (4) 22. The abbreviation used as an indication that a duplicate has been or should be sent to another person (2) 23. Perform an action, the precise nature of which is often unspecified (2) 25. Chemical symbol for the element Antimony (2)

Please accept my entry for the crossword competition. I subscribe to all the rules and regulations of the competition. Name Address City Pin

Tear along the dotted line and mail to Crossword No. 14 Womans Era, Delhi Press, New Delhi-110 055.


w Cross r d



Winners of Crossword - 11


Melinda Fern

andes Goa.

S. Renchano

Solo, Nagalan


Nisha, Faridab


Omwati, Delhi

Answers to Crossword-11
Across: 1. Dither, 4. Brass, 7. Vanguard, 8. Glint, 9. Socket, 13. Sidetrack, 15. Ache, 16. Opal, 17. Yonder, 19. Be, 20. Dent, 21. Crude, 22. HG

Digpal Singh,


Jasma Sinh,


Ashok Cheria

n, Baroda.

3. Roast, est, 2. Tonic, Down: 1. Div Affix, 6. Shuttle, 5. 4. Budge, cord, . Crowd, 12. Ac 10. Kidney, 11 . Taunt, 18. Ore, 13. Soccer, 14 19. BC


Sunita Verma, Visa khapatnam. Chandra Sing h, Haridwar. A. K. Aggarw al, Haryana.


Rules and Regulations

A prize of Rs 10,000 will be given to the person sending an all-correct solution. In case there are more than one sender of an all-correct solution, the prize amount will be divided among the first 10 competitors chosen by lot. The decision of the management will be final and binding. Entries must be on the crossword printed here. Photocopies will not be accepted. Entries must be sent so as to reach Womans Era by 15 January 2011, by ordinary post. No correspondence in this matter will be entertained. The contest is not open to the employees of Delhi Press. Every entry should be accompanied by the senders family photo. If you are declared a winner, your family picture may be printed in the oncoming issue. Please send a signed declaration that you have no objection to printing your family picture. Womans Era December (Second) 2010





History which todays youngsters are unaware of.

By K. M. Sharma
cance certain buildings or sites or enterprises are usually given the prestigious world heritage status on the basis of their legendary existence and importance. As a matter of procedure, the particular countrys government usually sends a recommen datory application to UNESCOs World Heritage Committee, the competent authority stationed in the USA for inclusion of certain buildings to be given world heritage status. Such application or applications, when received at UNESCOs office, are properly scrutinised and facts collected and classified.

he Delhi State Archaeolo gical Department had issued notifications under the provisions of the Delhi Ancient and Historical Monuments and Archaeological Sites and Remains Act 2004 for 39 monuments in July, August and September 2009 and January 2010. The Delhi Wakf Board has raised objections given the certain monuments. So a tussle is going on. What is the locus standi of the Delhi Wakf Board? A report: In almost all the countries of the world with strategic historical signifi-

Thereafter, an expert committee whose members are reputed historians and renowned public figures decides to send a team of experts to the country concerned to visit that particular building or site to decide whether the world heritage site status should be bestowed on the nominations. This committee then prepares its report and submits to the head of UNESCO and then a decision is unanimously taken which is notified and communicated to the concerned government as to whether the nominated building has been bestowed with the world heritage status or not. This is a very transparent procedure and rarely ever bogged into any controversy raised on the decision of the expert committee. Factually in India, 27 historical building sites and enterprises have already been enjoying the world heritage status the Taj Mahal, Humayuns tomb, Red Fort, many churches of Goa, Delhi and Mumbai, Ajanta, Ellora caves, mountain railways in Shimla, Darjeeling and Ooty, Konkan Railway, national parks such as Kaziranga and Keoladeo and others to name a few. But I personally dont reconcile to the decision of bestowing world heritage status on Humayuns tomb as there is absolutely nothing extraordinary in it. It is simply a tomb of red stones of an invader. The ministry of

Womans Era December (Second) 2010

tourism, Government of India, recently spent unjustifiably Rs eight crore for facelifting of this tomb, which is a criminal waste. The Indian government has recently sought world heritage status for Shantiniketans Visva Bharati University. This is chiefly because Indira Gandhi got her education at Shantiniketan. Besides, it is the 150th birth anniversary of its founder Nobel laureate Rabindranath Tagore in 2011. The citation of the application reads something like this:

Shantiniketan is one of the avant garde visions of an international educational and cultural institution conceptualised in the beginning of the 20th century. It represents the distillation of Rabindranath Tagores life, philosophy and greatest works through his lifetime and the continuing legacy of his unique model of education can be presented as a model of Indian education through the revival of the Tapoban tradition and humanist ideology finds its greatest reflection in Shantiniketan. But the Indian government has surprisingly submitted another list of 12 sites in the country that touched the ancient trading route called the silk route in the first millennium. Here it is pertinent to note that as per its policy of expansionism, China in the initial stage applied for heritage status for the silk route and staked its claim but, the Heritage Committee didnt oblige China on this account and advised countries, especially India, to sponsor their joint claim. But there is unclinching evidence with India to prove the authenticity of all such sites which fall on the silk route. For recapitulation, these sites are an ancient monastery and stupa together with adjacent land (Harwan) in J & K. Sanghol in Punjab, Indraprastha (Purana Kila), Delhi, the excavated remains of Kaveripattinam in Tamil Nadu, Arikumedu Pudu, Burud Kot, Buddhist remains of Kushi Nagar in UP, ruins of Vaishali and Vikramshila University in Bihar, historical sites including Kaushambi, Sravasti Ahich Vatra and others. Womans Era December (Second) 2010

All the above sites are ancient and the present Indian generation seems completely oblivious of these names. The ministry of railways of course runs a train called Vaishali Express between Gorakhpur and New Delhi. Otherwise, both the Government of 135

India and respective state governments in whose state these historical sites are, lying neglected them and they have been relegated to the limbo of forgotten things. Shockingly, not a single penny has been spent on their restoration nor has any attempt ever been made to put them on the itinerary of tourists as has been done in Malaysia, Egypt, Singapore, et al, a fundamental step to promote tourism. What substantial gain can be enlisted to get them world heritage status in such a dilapidated condition. It is a sad commentary on the working of our tourism ministry.


Now a twist has come in the whole story with the intervention of the Delhi Wakf Board. They are now confron ting another government body, the Delhi State Archaeological Department over the control of many heritage monuments in Delhi which they claim are Wakf property. In Delhi there is the Delhi Ancient and Historical Monuments and Archaeo logical Sites and Remains Act, 2004, under which are covered and governed all the historical sites by DSA department which issue notifi cations from time to time regarding such buildings. Their protection and conservation is its prime responsibility. There is also a Central Wakf Act and the Delhi Wakf Board works within its ambit. There is no clear-cut

demarcation regarding the jurisdictions of both these government departments. So they are always at loggerheads regarding the ownership of such buildings. The Delhi Wakf Board controls properties worth several hundred crore rupees. This Board apparently works on communal lines and there is always an element of self-aggrandisement in the style of functioning of its members and office bearers. They have put forth a very illogical and unusual proposal to the government that they be allowed, without rhyme or reason, to hold regular prayers at all such heritage properties listed by the Wakf Board as its property. In one of its notifications the Board has clarified and requested. What we want is that these tombs, domes, gumbads and mosques should remain as Wakf property and not be used as mere monuments. Surprisingly, their list of such monuments includes such buildings which were never heard of before nor carry any historical significance such as Bagichi Ki Masjid, tomb of Mohammed Quti Khan, Haji Langs gumbad, Munda gumbad, tomb of Shaikh Salahuddin Darwesh, Majlis Khana and many other similar monuments. In other words, all these buildings and monuments have been constructed during Muslim rule at some point of time or other. So, being an Muslim institution, they lay a claim on its ownership which is not a valid argument and so cannot be accepted.

But nowhere it is stated how the title of ownership has been bestowed upon them and how it is valid even in the new circumstances of free India. As a matter of fact, even the title of ownership of any land and building of India was never legally and morally with them. So a defective title cannot be transferred. Muslim rulers were out and out invaders and forcibly annexed Indian (called Bharat in those days of the Hindu period) territory and used, abused and misused the land in whatever way they liked. Hindus being subjugated were silent spectators of this. So, as a logical corollary, with the end of Muslim rule in India, the entire land and sites and buildings made thereupon automatically become the property of the Government of India. Such Muslim Boards and other similar bodies become infructuous and in the process lose all rights and titles to any land, sites or monuments and cannot lay any type of claim to them. In the historical perspective, if we look we find shocking revelations that originally the entire land belongs to India i.e., to Hindu rajas and maharajas whose respective empires were spread in the entire Indian peninsula and even on foreign lands beyond Indian borders like Afganistan, Iran, Indonesia where even today Bali and Sumatra Islands consist of 90 per cent Hindu population and several magnificent ancient Hindu temples of various gods and goddesses are found. Unfortunately an unprecedented development took place during this period in the region. As the Vedic religion had set in, Islam was being spread with great ferocity at the point of the sword everywhere. So swift was its stormy speed that it obliterated even the imprints of Hindu religion wherever it existed. As a result, Afganistan, Iran, Indonesia and most of the countries in the region were turned into Islamic countries from where the Hindu population was either eliminated, converted or hounded out. As an impact of this Islamic tornado, the limits and jurisdiction of


Womans Era December (Second) 2010

Hinduism started shrinking and it was confined in the Indian borders called Hindustan. Not content with this treatment meted out to Hinduism Islamic protagonists further made out a game plan to somehow spread Islam in India. As a part of this game plan, the Muslim rulers and dictators started sporadic attacks on India and intensified them further with a view to plundering the immense wealth which India was famous for as it was very aptly called sone ki chidya. Bloody battles were fought on Indian soil. Their trail of conquest started and increased in frequency and intensity.


They did everything to demoralise Hindu rajas whom they found fighting with each other as in the case of Jai Chand and Prithvi Raj. The Muslim invaders indulged in wanton destruction of Hindu temples, defaced the idols and forced the Hindus to convert to Islam. To achieve this objective and to terrorise people, slaughter of Hindus was ordered, Nadir Shah and Auraugzeb mercilessly did. History is replete with such instances. Vast populations of Hindus under coercion and threat adopted Islam as their new religion to escape executions. Such newly converted Muslims were, however, bestowed with land jagirs and jewels as rewards. Thats how they became owners of land and buildings of Indian territory. It is

interesting to recall that many Muslim invaders be they Tuglaks, Khiljis, Mohammed Gauri and Gaznavi, Mongols, Mughals and a host of others attacked and conquered Indian territories and subjugated its Hindu residents and confiscated their properties. Some came only to loot and went away with the booty but most of them settled here and consolidated their empires. It was this class of Muslim invaders which embarked upon massive construction programmes and built mosques like the Jama Masjid, forts, tombs and domes. They did not hesitate to destroy Hindu temples and construct mosques in their place just to establish their marks of conquests. Ram temple was destroyed in Ayodhya, Shri Krishna Janam Bhoomi in Mathura and Kashi Vishwa Nath temple in Varanasi. The Babri mosque dispute is still not resolved. The Hindu psyche has been hurt beyond redemption. The scars of torture still remains and the element of hate is being perpetrated. This divide cant be bridged unless and until the initiative comes from the Muslim community. This is not happening and will not happen due to lack of unity for the sake of vote bank politics. Under the changed circumstances and with the end of Muslim rule in India, any Muslim body like a Wakf Board cant stake their claim to Indias land and buildings and monuments. It is very surprising how the Government of India did not think it in the fitness of things to repeal all

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the decrees of Muslim the rulers and acquire all such land which Delhi Wakf Board professes to be theirs. Demonstrating the true national spirit just as the Government of Pakistan and the Government of Bangladesh took the unusual step of acquiring entire properties of the Hindu population which was hounded out of Pakistan and Bangladesh, by branding them as enemy property, why does India not take such a logical and bold step? So, craving for world heritage status for Muslim monuments must stop forthwith. An interesting case in point is the case of the former Raja of Mahmudabad in UPs Sitapur District, Mohammad Amir Mian, owner of vast princely estate. At the time of Partition Amirs father migrated to Pakistan but his mother Begum Kaneez Abdi and Amir preferred to stay in India. As late as in 1962 the Centre woke up from its slumber and declared the property of such people who left for Pakistan as evacuee property. But as a fallout of the war of 1965 with Pakistan the Government of India declared such property as enemy property. But, as luck would have it, Amir fought a legal battle with the Government of India to get back his property and surprisingly, our Supreme Court ruled in his favour and ordered the Central government to return the entire property to Amir Mian. Probably having a feeling of aversion to such people, the Government of India got issued an ordinance by President. Pratibha Patil clarifying that courts are not competent to change the status of any enemy property and rendered the Supreme Court order as inoperative. As a consequence, DM Sitapur took possession of the entire princely estate scattered in Lucknow Mahmudabad, Nanital and at other places. We suggest that similar steps should be taken by the Government of India in regard to such historical monuments and other buildings of We Muslim era.


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The article Dressing for the job (November II) by Mita Banerjee D was written with insight into the dressing culture to workplace. As a matter of fact, the dressing code boosts the morale of the individual and the atmosphere at large. The public sector and certain MNCS have uniform for its employees which doesnt allow the employees to come as per their wish. However, this practice is not followed by most of the offices and they let the staff to dress up as they wish. The clothing sense for office differs from profession to profession. For example, the profession of a teacher or lecturer which deals with addressing students, the attire should be sober and decent. The job of receptionist or a customer care executive deals with meeting people, such person should be groomed well. Investing heavily on office attire is futile. The office dress should be of minimum budget and the purpose to go to office is for financial reasons and not to live beyond ones means. Boomija Arvind, Bangalore.
better part tion is the e Truly, discre Mita Banerje at work. By of glamour
as well of her students, come to the benefit who often heads an their parents Gupta, who Mumbai, as Ruchira her. firm in wear of her meet what you n: Some interior designing where one oes it matter As with any an impressio that in an incident was always Creating saying are relates female designers to work? and sloppy like to rebel issues, there of managing Some senior in a poorly fitting Shes a would burning to the stress the pressures to the coin. addition es dressed salwar kameez. two sides based family and appearanc about their looking home and worrying believe that advance you its an aestheticaesthetics you is an added a new job, other designer, , and your own can help and of workplace while the profession are properly on image in the have stepped at work once you ly advo - should show. If you have it would reflect be stress. But home, once you camp vociferous wear is to and dressed, what you out of the to work shoulder as a designer and smartly cates that own concern your your aesthetics for the client. working community of committed your lity by with a more reassuring Bhadra, principal shoulder your responsibi tra be dictated cannot Sanghami school in Lucknow, of people, is it not dress codes? . n had to to certain What workplace a well-know where she to adhere are many. We all know relates an incident young teachers. What is the The questions , a brand: her frilly Coca-Cola is she sending? Creating up one of she wore What should such as message all haul to send? you imagine, with tight about brands McDonald s. We message message? swirl Can or spaghetti tops teaching right send that are the red Pepsi and was wear to frocks and boss their logos to she even if she nd-white recognise jeans. Well, children, she has a What if her colleagues think of them , the red-blue-a people en ility as What will of Coca-Cola or the golden arches the kindergartcertain respectab that she men? ? tics a wave of Pepsi s. Well, in saying in the workplace the characteris brand project tally, Im not the wear only of McDonald are your own Fundamen to portray at logo. a frump and , you need alism, workplace e is your worn properly should women appearanc mind you, send a are profession of all, sari is and your most e should of who saris (and, accessories, the workplace dignity and, appearanc ge ) but it h right

personality of the child is moulded. What even he/she picks up in these years gets adopted in his/her life. The child doesnt know whether to listen to the parents or to go by the friends. Parents should be friend to the teenager and having an eye on the activities of the child is important. Imparting spiritual knowledge like reading religious books and going to religious places will harness growth. It is the parents who can give the child a safe and secure future. Boomija Arvind, Bangalore.

his son studied at the expense of this countrys exchequer but went to America! Very unpatriotic of him! The father asks his wife was your son a mature man? He deserted us and went away! Youre a heart patient and Im having BP and sugar. Instead of staying with us in our old age and attending to us, hes left for bettering his prospects. In todays context it is a meaningful story. Lydia Sanders, Mumbai.


By Rumy Agarwa

This has reference to the article Help! theres a teenager in the house by Rumy Agarwal (November II). The adoloscent years is a crucial phase for the growing child. It is at three years the child learns the good, bad, right and wrong and the 144

between do? If your kids what do you 12 and 20, l


hand it to hew! I must a survivor! am myself I survived, have I , the unscathed relatively my Teens of Terrible and am elder son through I almost halfway ones! And the younger to tell the am living in story! when I was so think of it, Come to seem quite things didnt a wonderful my teens, was In fact, it things have turbulent. dear, how perspective time. Oh the Or maybe, side of the changed! on the other to say, in so has I am the enemy Teenagers fence now, the Winsome so I see the war of l Parents light different Vs the Demonica an altogether did too, back things in mom my now. Maybe dredge up old issues? why the war will then but will go on, The cycle wisdom will always and Actually I continue . (Sigh!). come in retrospect


Thanks for thoughtprovoking editorial on A Knowledge Based Economy (November II). As mentioned according to our Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, We need to build a knowledge-based economy to bridge the gap between the rich and poor. Money is a by product of knowledge hard work and above all, a strategy. The question arises: What is the difference between normal economy model and knowledge-based economy model? At the first sight, it may seem only a little differenct. In both the models, we create, buy and sell the products and thus their nature seems to be exactly the same. But as we take a closer look, things change. Relating to knowledge the words of J. M. Clark are significant from production point of view. Knowledge is the only instrument of production that is not subject to diminishing returns, the ultimate stage in the laws of production. Beena Mathur, Pune.

is a d that moneyall, a understan above few people work and, but fail money. Very knowledge, hard of to earn money in the put byproduct people try two and only ical and All of the the other strategy. is philosoph ICEBERG do not have is not one has message since they TIP OF THE After a child Society scam this is the The PMs a Housing Rather, hard work. imparted in education. and 5 years in he Adarsh to be isolated is in the foray in school and the entire which is an of it, needs taught for 13 years except for strategy a iceberg. The square inch been things, of building tip of the the other to buy every to finish. Its a , the chance dream in and trying college, all about which to use knowledge remain a distant for real estate on the planet were will capacity multiple houses, e -based society as if the land people are buying speculativ knowledge too in the t and that paradox how ION India. investmen RESTRICT the folly are just for committed of the INFLATION ra, Chavan space. allotment which are Maharasht in prices, The CM of not only nt liberty of wrongful in the rise governme the fact that greed. taken the ith no respite to come down, the that he has step. The Society, highlights also had the take a huge not stopping favours but flats in Adarsh forest and riders and decided to like the for personal has the has finally come with up to 80% ministries he was in who now so many future will only of loans in Now, with and our friend Jairam, in disguise can now get the cash housing nt steel plants (excluding Society . The applicants environme down giant restrictions the property it was at the whims of the Adarsh limit. value of credit of shutting , wants half height of the total against earlier, when clearances the 100 foot the as the forest it exceeds has been element), the economy d, since episode of each bank. let the supply to demolishe wer in this note, the shut and and faculties reduce the money On another The whistleblo kept its mouth truth. This could cy which lesser inflation. Indian space where of this sad many d lead to a bureaucra and may is in the urbanhas an unparallele for the unearthing could have allotted he pressure Mumbai, papers fly, rest CM wanted Mumbai and Navi the economy compared to the if a inflationary in In case the a great asset to his in-laws . growth when population slots of land in any case become the be on of the rural from curb should ng which would it is built Mumbai. Hence the squanderi and bridge linking anywhere in the public spending Wealth Games Point, which is with Nariman The like the Common on food grains. much land like There is so all over the country. and subsidies rice is being given greed nt governme is that the states to below the In many the drama the families and they has escalated height of corruption even for free to poverty line rice as a for land and the politicians do not this to build. are using . levels where their own money commodity the building to spend monetised that want all this is the era hopes light of Womans Of course, of the a politically down, in on the face their done with be a slap will come and it will already have vested interest. front, clearances developers, who claim of ownership On another of the greedy land the rightful ministry and that and families the petroleum coffers full d to to the widows the Adarsh Society. provided seems determine the owners of would be with the true do away all Kargil victims means that Y diesel, which which may -BASED ECONOM subsidy on what may get dearer, KNOWLEDGE of transport higher inflation than Kuala oil speech in into that the cascade t a small Minister It seems are Prime today. we have Lumpur, the Singh laid for Reliance) s (except n cannot sustain companie Manmoha that we need losses and on the fact making huge -based emphasis m We a knowledgethe gap subsidies. to build bridge write to: letters@wo that could poor. economy and the the rich One between of riches. two kinds the There are and twoknowledge (Second) 2010 which is Era November Womans




This refers to the article The Marital Equation in Womans N Era (October II). Though the title sounds like a chemistry equation it has deeply covered all aspects of spouse-related phenomena. Unlike other articles on family problems which may project woman as a silent bearer this one discusses way of treating the marital crisis with the two-marriage equations. In the present scenario where majority of the married women are working and get less time for interaction and discussion on their family problems with their friends, they should share maximum of their time with their husbands. Make life like a see-saw with the marital equation and let it keep rotating showering joy on you and your family. Kanchana S., Hyderabad.

been they have that for years independently they will realise nations. Living then that society, and by both the connected or a wrongly used in todays closely an individual job same for is one big JUSTICE remains the s one. With nt Musharraf be a populist be one of the complexity verdict may is ex-presidewith the training may country. he Ayodhya above this the verdict involved as the one from satisfied, Over and has been in history everyone war on Indiaa faux of the Pakistan will go down a proxy the need claim that s to be nor those which peoples faith and to conduct on of terrorists may claim the statement come out. On political tallies, It finally He nt which depended does not swing badly aggrieved. the truth has Kashmir. verdict n the ex-preside a media, but of the people hour. The connotatio should see n and pass of the a section economic the Indians a go-betwee or does it leave have any large another point, party either as in Pakistan not things. s also does of the have an even political parties scheme of that they institution the Musharraf the various for for the present it will spell conversion tenure that it mediator . point money For the Congresswas in the Congress sarkar, as a simple of Pakistani politicians since it the Mayawati gain any playing turf, came down. For not bribery funds UNDER FOCUS She may Babri Masjid but status quo. GAMES taken off present ground. nothing have finally not lose the many politicians a spells was like so ealth Games but also may more seats prices in UP in which. The BJP could be he Commonw opening ceremony format, The not in a circular for Also the land remain unaffected in Delhi. verdict does Day parade the Indian Railways since the have invested, Republic to the Hindus. are now sponsor was biggest losers birthplace Delhiites largest only 1/3rd one of the wherein the of minutes. very few seats being can claim title to Ramlalas number give a clear next campaign they was fighting will not and with the most the party the the stadiums with the games in Hence in is said that enthralled appears that are many glitches unless it is venues, it the victory, . There citizen. This also. sold at the ent of the audiences managem bound to is the common had stuck for the akhada witness packed the overall benefited and Mandal, of but thats The most Kashmir blood out Games Village event of this scale. which, like lot of good an nts one issue sucked a we arrangeme a happen with leach and to come thank the or on like a a long time We should like a terror attack RSS people. For harassed with the during the that nothing be talism happened is shall not fundamen major disaster needs to be seen religious of a certain agenda of that will in favour Games. What corrupt practices of the for voting if the deal or the Kalmadis off of be seen is political ideology. remains to move the unravel over time of signing Now what will the from the CWG. At the sects the news the verdict. some of nt and Court on n it could be this editorial, sports manageme is that Supreme speculatio arena and organising Without much years of research of who created that court Lalit Modi, safely said the apex a very of the from ASI, and conducted is now decision the dose IPL, uphold the nt impressive India may Enforceme High Court. under the Allahabad DRUM scanner. e IR CONUN of Directorat the for is THE KASHM agenda remains the problem of one This the ent ext on the decision like mi, embezzlem So if the One strong m Janmbhoo Kashmir. foreign funds. after him, Masjid-Ra gone of the Babariissue IPL OC has IPL, why will this t and the of the the governmen could solve huge successand his cronies in case, Kashmir of despite the also. In any of the in terms after Kalmadi response they not go offers nothing n to a bleak the corrupt nt, after contributio or governme confirmed news about financial of India games and the economy to that of m We practices? for that matter, option to write to: letters@wo One the Pakistan. either of delink it with be the best will countries . Its only (Second) 2010 for Kashmiris Era October Womans



The short story entitled The only son by Jyothirilata Girija (October II) focuses on the hurt father gets, which has a lesson for his ungrateful son. The father says that Womans Era December (Second) 2010

her he asked By Jyothirll a few moments,a son is over with pause for duty as pregnant he think his her month? to send us angrily, Does hall to ask in the e to want money every went to the settled sending us are not giving has the conscienc arvathi eagerlytheir son, recently up, He at least days, some of the sonsmind you! Rao looked husband what heavily. written. Prakash money. These paisa to their parents, ively better USA, had aerogramme and sighed doing are even a single reply. that hes comparat and his wife folding the dollars lly. She didnt So, you certify special. He sending me some sarcastica six post-dated cheques Nothing hell be he snorted sent them to well. He says month onwards. innocent wife. off! next month Raja Rao showed The each. Prakash and wrote his sons from the next dollars? asked his said, Im a cover, for 100 dollars What . Then he cheque put them in Dollars? d. and explained Ill return the Parvathi, it. asked bewilderereturn He laughed it from him. address on you doing? she to accept it. that I would not going What are you the other day after I receive Ill write a post, tell in by return Did I not soon as theyre received? hurt. have stayed as Hell feel hurt us? He could hurtful. them to him of this countrys of c harsh and Did he not the expense that letter also! write anything studied at America! Very unpatrioti Ill just say India. He to Please dont his wife and said, enough r but went at excheque as Im gettingI wont write a there to He glared all. the cheques he was going him! tell us that Im returningour sustenance! Thats Did he not earned in ? pension for Are you satisfied? could have on. He prospects ? He better his prospects word more! qualificati hurt him. He What better itself for his high Yet it wouldhurt us? gone there. here an immature friends had a fit thousands Did he not Youre talking like because his world that he too is know s! went there to the Goodnes he, your loss to prove Im at a man! Was wanted to away! there. person. settle in America! like an immature us and went person to are so mad after settling . Leave it, I Im talking man? He deserted and having BP why people happened has happened the past? son, a mature patient and Im Instead of staying heart What has use of crying over 65. Youre a the to us, hes 60 and Im but folded say. Whats sugar. Youre old age and attending prospects? didnt reply,After a ! What our Prakash Rao me. with us in his prospects have easily the aerogram left for betteringIn India, he could least 75,000 earned at which is an a month, bly fabulous unimagina compared salary, when I was with the pittance a earning as we cher. And schooltea this big house, my have by me from inherited could have father. Raja in this big us lived with four spacious house with

has A hurt father

The Only So
a lesson for his ungrate
ata Girija

ful son.


The editorial CWG 2010 The grime behind the glory O Womans Era (October II) has rightly touched on the corruption surrounding the run-up to the CWG which has reached such a proportion that it cannot be hidden any longer. What should have been a glorious chapter in the annals of Indian history. The Games being
Balancing bliss. egos for wedde d

devta syndrome pati is a whatever traditional have to accept where they hands out to her. all the the husband that, with and It is strange modernity ded talked about, broad-min liberty being where this feminine many families the wife is there are part of is n on the social norm submissio that granted. The taken for macho, and should be submissive that men they are not that signifies that lord over them so but d. But to wives called henpecke they are not as a wife is not a puppet and deserves this is unfair individual should always but is an A husband wife to evolve respect. to his and give a chancebe her own person grow and or suppress and not humiliate he should in scenario her. be another ips. This There can relationsh power many marital cy in the nd-wife second contingen husband-a a of ratio the wife doesnt p is when relationshi prestige of her husband in care for the at him often verbally till out and hits even at parties, for front of everyone, and humiliating ing it is embarrass in the the husband. stays quiet If the husband verbal tirades the wifes him a face of and call totally will snigger who people of d husband henpecke and is afraid is to his wife the wife kowtows power equation is on the her. In this and the husband classify suc dominating end. People aggressiv n Singh bold and give receiving a By Rungee wives as does not husbands best and can ranting and such that he knows the wife that she Amazons is marked any leeway to . manage and can henpecked in ften, a marriage lack of struggle out things by a power first flush of think There is a suggestedand the the wife well. which after e in the a superiority is over, both the attraction and wife try confidenc also has best and to the husband that he knows the the husband at is supposed alw anything capture As man ists for complex does not know to g, traditional ing place to his wife she has to obey. having dominatin expense of the husb command at the and so s. According all ife relation of women laugh themselve attitudes, In the context dominating stance in such a husband-w man is w to the the traditional this today as as it seems that are supposed equal rights, enough to husbands classify husbands unfair to and not strong This make s who are the women. his would then willed control. dominate tries to suppress or male chauvinist most wives this his wife in of a man as seem less The husband not let her grow ningly bear being their wives husband does duty is at him for and uncomplai , generally wife and that her people laugh It is becoming behaviour He thinks house but not silently develop. humiliating had an inhibited ka ghulam. now to s after the have they have It is normal in society only to look her opinions. do as they because where the menfolk the common at the receiving end force to speak out childhood and thus . husband s because husbands plead, rebel, dictated always accusation for many of confidence their wives the wife's into a lack against want while womenfolk arry a grudge de to believe




successfully staged and the sterling show by Indian athletes have been reduced to sorry spectacle with India becoming a laughing stock in the world for the large-scale corruption involved. With the Central Vigilance Commission having launched a probe into the entire award of contracts a lot of dirt is certain to surface and the revelations are going to shame the country even more. It is becoming increasingly clear that anybody and everybody who had a role to play in the staging of the Games has made a pile in ways more foul than fair. It is also sad that of the seventy one thousand crore of rupees that have been spent on the Games only a paltry three hundred and fifty crore have been spent on the athletes. Unfair selection of contractors, incomplete projects, inflated invoices and the involvement of politicians cutting across party lines all point out to huge embezzlement of funds. As the money has already been spent there is no chance of recovering anything but if the guilty are booked

there would at least be some consolation for the honest tax payer whose money has been squandered without any qualm. Vijayalakshmi Aravind, New Delhi.

stroke at 80. a paralytic whom I * She suffered woman with w ode to the This is an life: my mother-in-la years of my shared 25 a Smt Sharadamm


law. Even in most of our TV serials and movies, a MIL is portrayed as a monster. In this scenario, Hema Nagrajs ode to her MIL, is like a breath of fresh air, like a silver lining in dark cloud. Subhashini Aggarwal, Deoghar.
The prize is awarded to:

This refers to the poem A salute to womanhood published in October II issue of Womans Era. This is a very touching and heart-warming poem and it is the best homage paid by a daughter-in-law to her motherin-law. As we all know a mother-in-law is the most sinned woman in our society. A feeling of fear against a mother-in-law is instilled in a girls mind from her very childhood. So when she enters her new home, after marriage, she is full of apprehension of her mother-in-law, Therefore, MILs every word, every action is looked with suspicion and is misunderstood by the daughter-infair, rare. rth, ever ruthlessly onal and unconventi Ever down-to-ea that were the modern, She took decisions of the traditional and Id say, cocktail an to learn. task, indeed, homage pay A delicious this octogenari A daunting adequatey so much from flair words thatd There was umpteen storms To choose with a veterans family affair! who weathered discuss politics quizzes) a To a woman She would own terms! (soaps, cricket, gadgets life on her TV-viewing electronic And yet, lived And make her name, to operating to shame. degrees to the garden interest. flattering a textbook From weeding her unflagging put many She had no would hold phy would the face parties Every activity But her autobiogra looked squarely in picnics and ease. ways. she into family life resourceful with cheerful Every adversity She pumped of all ages remarkably run solutions in with people kids would And found She blended to whom the widow, as a young doting granny of fun. low, and then, moments She was the As a wife, finances were dory, or share their cry flagged and was hunky crumble and To seek solace When spirits chosen to when everything held high! may have cy years, just her head A lesser mortal In her twilight of her complacen walked with SHE she shaken out or smooth was rudely it was But no NOT was simple She of fate path that unkind twist for a toss.* lured by the route. nce went What a truly She was never but ambitious spirited independe took the tougher for her children ce When her She always effervescen but the best in. out all her on nothing and gave She insisted her defiance It almost puffed good. stoic resilience. smiled at left us for it all with and candid down shes Even the heavens But she braved d. g, headstrong have come were hid. fiery womanhoo domineerin the curtains and sacrifices epitome of Today, She was often her struggles toast to this Hema Nagar and pain raise a pleasure this facade, But may I But behind to encounter uncanny ability disdain! She had this with equal them both And treat (First) 2010 Era October Womans


Kanchana S., Hyderabad.

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