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Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

RAJ M. AGRAWAL

Published by Mr. Raj M. Agrawal in April 2010. College life… 1

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

All rights reserved by author. This is a part of ‘The lost moment…’ series. Please do not copy it. This book was made in Microsoft word 2003 and first it was in *.doc format. For more information, please contact… Contact personMr. Raj M. Agrawal Rani Jhansi Square, Chapmanwadi, Yavatmal. (Maharashtra) India. Contact number+91 8007919706 Email idrajmagr@rediffmail.com

Dedication

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This book is dedicated to my parents, my sisters and my friends. This book is also dedicated to late Randy Pausch. Special Thanks Thanks to my old tuition teacher who insulted me and made me to feel inferior infront of others. Also thanks to the persons who believe that persons who are good in studies are only intelligent in the world. Thanks for making this view. Thanks to book named ‘The Secret’ for giving law of attraction, Robin Sharma for simple philosophies, and late Randy Pausch’s ‘The Last Lecture’ to give new philosophy to life.

No fantasy has ever happened in any success story, it’s always you who made it a fantasy.

A talk… Dear friend!

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You are given this book because you hold a part in my life. This is a gift from me to you. I know that you are having a busy life but I hope you would give a little time for this little book because this book is very near to my heart. You may find this with less twists and turns but remember that this is not the complete package of my book. The story of this book is still under planning. I am giving you first part of the book. If you find the plot of the story ahead then you can email me at… rajmagr@rediffmail.com Constructive suggestions and feedbacks are welcome. I hope that from this you would surely get some important points. Thanks.

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Prologue

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The life was never good as it is today. There is a struggle in everyone’s life. But my struggle was little strange one. I was having all things i.e. we say money and all hereditarily. I was not sure that my life would change me. I thought that we should change ourselves before life changes us.

I was always sure about my safe future.

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It was the fear which had grew in my mind when the people were cursing Abhishek Bachchan that he had came in film industry on his father’s name but as the time passed he became one of the most greatest of all times and one time it was also said that he would pass out the popularity of his father. It was always in my mind that I would have to create something on my own otherwise there would be no meaning of life. Everyone’s life has one incidence which changes their life for all times. But I had not even guessed that it would come like this. One day I had little difference of opinion with my father. He was a short tempered person. That day he said few things which come in my mind even today. He said “I don’t want to live with you. Get out of my house.” I had not got out of my house but slowly I was gaining my aims through my steps. I was dependent on him that time so I was not able to take any harsh step. But I decided to get slowly independent of his help. I had just given my HSC exam and I was hundred percent sure that I would pass it easily. I decided to take education loan. I don’t want to disturb him for my needs. I also decided that I would do part time job in my friend’s store. By the god’s blessing I had a little knowledge of computer and his shop had computer and they don’t had any computer typist so I fulfilled that place. It was against my credibility but my credibility had lost so I had not any problem to work there. My results of HSC exam were still to come and I had a lot of time and also there was lot of typing work. Luckily the shop keeper agreed to give me Rs. 5\- for each page which I typed and I was happy. When you are in any big problem then you are ready to give it your whole life. Every period arrives in your life to teach you something. Every part of life has some special lessons. I was regular reader Robin Sharma’s books and I still remember the thought from his book ‘The monk who sold his Ferrari’ that you cannot hit your target unless you cannot see it. I was sure that I wanted to be a lawyer as it was said that in my infant age that I will one of the biggest lawyers. When I was small, my one uncle who was expert in the future prediction said my mother that I would be one of the biggest lawyers. My mother not took it seriously. I was not sure that I was going to make one of the most country’s best lawyers. I was very fascinated about becoming an engineer because I was deeply College life… 6

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interested in computers but as soon as I began to grow, my interest began to fade. It totally faded when I entered 12th grade. For the first six months I was fascinating about becoming a CA but later I chose LLB. I made myself sure that this is the dream field that I was searching for always. Many persons, my friends thought that I was running away from CA and engineering, in other words, I was hiding my inability. But I was sure till last. I surely knew that I could do anything which I will think about. Mathematics was the subject which was weak in my case but in 12 th it became an essential component in my marks. I was able to solve any problem. It proved that I could do anything. I understood that I could do engineering easily and also CA. So I opted to become a lawyer. I also strived that I will be lawyer but my knowledge would be as high as those engineers, CA and doctors. In my holidays and in mean time I began to read their books and I found that it was not so hard. I loved to live alone mostly since my HSC exam. Man never forgets his skills. My skill was writing. In 12th std., I had written nearly three books which were never published. Days had begun to pass very fast and also there was inner fright for the board exams. Whenever there is fright of something, then it will grow if you do not act on it. There was only one action which I can do on that fright and that was to study hard but I didn’t acted upon it. Since there was only near 100 days to board exam. Tuition teachers began to spread that I would fail and one day I was accused of violating the peace of lecture. The lecturer caught me wrongly and main teacher of tuition insulted me infront of whole class. Nobody knew my past, excluding few ones. It was an indirect challenge for me to prove myself again as I did it in matriculation. I knew that it would as hard as passing naked leg from burning coal. Question was again and again arising in my mind that why a man needs to prove himself again and again? I stopped my life style. I closed my mobile, my laptop (my most loved thing) and also Orkut. I began to do studies slowly. My marks were not increasing rapidly but still they were increasing. Nobody noticed it but it was in my notice. I continued to plan my studies. My second hobby is reading so in mean times I also continued to read many books for refreshment. In that mean, I read book named ‘Secret’ by

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Rhonda Byrne. There I came to know about the ‘law of attraction’ and also ‘positive thinking’. Everything was expressed in simple way. It was said in the book that this world is like the Alladin and his magic lamp. Alladin is you and the universe is Genie which lives in the magic lamp. Whenever Alladin orders anything or wishes anything then Genie does it without having a thought at it. Same as in our case, when we would think positive then only positive would happen and when we would think negative then negative would happen. Law of attraction is more powerful than the law of gravitation. In book The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho has said that ‘When you really want something than whole universe conspires to get it to you.’ This thing works on the law of attraction. Whenever you want something then just think and just don’t think on the other factors that how you are going to get it or how you are going to do it. It is just like ordering a favourite dish from menu card in hotel and in mean time you would be served. If you ordered dal fry then only dal fry would be served to you not the tandoori chicken. When you think positive, then this positive thoughts would reach to universe then would serve you without having a thought at it. Try to be the most positive person. Whenever you think positive then you would be happy and I am happy since then. I always tried to make friends rather than making enemy but I don’t know why whenever I go somewhere then an enemy is always ready. It is always a common thing that there would be an unknown competition between you and your enemy. Again a new fright began to surround me that I would be defeated by my enemy but suddenly a teaching from the ‘Shastras’ stroked me. It was this – This world would pass out just in a second. The wealth, beauty and even the persons would pass without knowing to you. This world is drama. You have to perform your role and if you perform the allotted role then you are not a sinner and if you do not perform your role properly then you are sinner. Worrying about results is not your part. Again I turned happy, I made my rule that my competition is with myself only not with the other persons. I have just one aim that I have to perform better than before. Even when Aamir Khan was asked about the perfection then he said that he doesn’t measures success by the business

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of his film but he measures it by if he has performed better than before or not. For moving towards success, one should forget the mistakes he made but he should not forget the lessons which the mistakes taught us. When you repeat same mistake then you are idiot and if you avoid the previous mistake then you are intelligent. If you learn from the other’s mistakes then you are genius. There was no doubt that my way was correct. Soon the results were on head and I always thought positive about it and as there was no place for negative thoughts in my mind then the result was positive. I got the expected result and I also got admission in my desired college. In such times, I was also taught by destiny that one should always have one aim. Aim is just like a boat, and reaching the goal is just like reaching at the bank of the river. One person can control only one boat so if you tried to control two boats then you would sink in the river. Be ambitious but don’t try the new venture till the venture which is at hand is finished. At the day of result, I went to open ground and facing towards sky I asked in my heart if really god exists. I seated on knees and prayed him for his kind blessings on me. I do believe that god is there and also law of attraction also exists. I am not Hindu, Muslim and even a Christian but I am a human and my religion is humanity. I don’t promote any product but I do promote brotherhood and harmony. I am YuvRajj, YuvRajj Jindal. I spend some time with my hobby i.e. writing. I fight selected cases and my biggest principle is that I never work for money.

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College life I had got admission in Law College of other city and I had to live in hostel there so finally I was out of the home. I had mobile but unknowingly I was feeling very hard to use mobile or in other words I was lazy in using mobile. Because I always believed that mobile, vehicle and all other material assets are short term things. I had lost contact with my high school friends. I was having no friends. My college was one of the best law colleges of the country. I had promised my mother that I would control my anger because I was always a short tempered person. In some years, I had become a person who was always on a verge of eruption. Three months before the admission in Law College, I had read much about law, medical and accounts. I had also read much about handwriting analysis, face reading and philosophical guesses. I had also tried it and I had become little expert in it. I was sure that I was having some power to guess things properly. I had promised myself that now there will be no compromise so I started to study itself from the first day of the college. I generally was keeping silence in lectures and also other times. I had got two-three friends, but their face readings were bad and also their handwriting depicted a bad behaviour. I guessed them and made myself away from them. I also began to feel that I was not paying enough concentration on the lectures so I began to pay full more and more concentration on lectures. I had made my habit of seeing positive points in the person near me. I can’t just leave my two-three friends. I studied their handwriting closely and got the clue that they were not bad from heart. Time passed by and many boys and girls became my friends. I decided that I should not waste my time on studying whether who is good or who is bad. First of all I had to see that if I was good from heart or not.

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‘Just sink in your thinking’ was my most used thought. I reached the conclusion that if we would start to find that who is good or who is bad then our life would be hell. We should try to find ‘Vivekta’ which means that ‘a power to determine difference between bad and good’. It is a Hindi word and it is also called one of the remedy of success. We should observe our works and draw the conclusion whether we are doing bad or good. It was some time that I was not able to learn ABCD till 2 nd grade but I was inspired by a verse – Karat karat abhyaas ke, Jadmati hout sujaan Rasri aawat jaat te, seel par parat nisaan Meanings  *Abhyaas- Practice/study, Jadmati- dull, Sujaanclever, Rasri-Rope, Seel-Stone, Nisaan-Mark It means ‘By doing continuous practice even a dull person can turn clever, it is just like if rope passes through stone near the well continuously or daily then the even hardest stone gets mark on it’. Projects were given to us nearly every month. A group of six persons was made and a leader and sub-leader were made. Whole class was divided into two parts and a view and counterview was to be done. Topic was “Is importance of lawyers declining?” Our batch had three girls and three boys. Our group had ‘Simran, Juhi, Priyanka, Ashfaq, Sumeet and me.’ Simran was made leader and I was made sub-leader. Within one week the project was to be submitted. We were on counterview side. The project which will be best among all projects would be selected will represent the view side and other best project from counterview side. Simran Mittal was very frank girl, one of the most famous in college. She was supposed to be most clever (exam were not conducted till that). She was beautiful and nearly more than half of the boys had crush on her. She was milkish white in complexion. She had long curly hair, black eyes, small nose just like a child. She was very beautiful. She had such smile that it would boost you for a whole day. Till now, I never talked to her but I was sure that I would need to talk to her because now she was in my group and she was leader. It was said that she was daughter of an industrialist.

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I was also a son of an industrialist but till now I was telling lie to everyone that I am son of an editor of a newspaper. Actually I was not telling lie because my father was editor of a newspaper but he was never going to office because every work was done by my one uncle. Simran was famous for giving slaps to boys because she was proposed every week and slap was her rejection. Juhi Joshi was normal girl who would talk less and just would try to take continue notes in her diary. She would be busy in library. She was one who was of little reserved nature. She was famous as ‘JJ’. Priyanka Sen was right hand of Simran. She would be always with Simran and she would always say yes to every point of Simran. Ashfaq Syed was my roommate. He was Muslim person but I never hated it because for me his kindness matters not the caste. I loved Muslim religion in same intensity as I loved Hindu religion. He was from poor family. He was very kind person. He was amazed about my knowledge about his religion and also he said that my way of living was little matching to their culture. Sumeet Sharma was living in adjacent room in our hostel. Firstly when he came here than he hated Muslims but he was huge fan of Mahatma Gandhi so I used my knowledge and said him that Gandhiji says ‘Don’t hate any religion. If it is possible then try to read epics of all religions then you would know that moral ethics drawn from all religions are same i.e. base of every religion is same. So every religion is same.’ His father was teacher. There were differences between Ashfaq and Sumeet but soon I ended them through my explanations. Today we three were very good friends. They were saying that I explained everything very well. They said that they saw a hard core lawyer inside me. Simran called all of us. She said us to reach her home by the end of college. We five persons reached her home. She introduced all of us to her parents. My father had put a very good habit in me to take blessings of touching legs of elderly people. While I took blessings from her father and mother, Simran went inside in her room. They became happy and asked me my name. I said “YuvRajj, YuvRajj Jindal.” Simran’s father Mr. Mittal said “From which

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city?” I said “Narwad.” He asked “Do you have any relation with industrialist Hirendra Jindal?” I said “Yes, he is my father.” Hirendra Jindal was very famous name in whole state for being a prominent and leading industrialist. But nobody knew that I am his son. Further Mr. Mittal asked “Your father must be happy with you. We have business relations with him. I had met him once and I was impressed with him with his natural way. He is really very good person.” I nodded and said in heart that I wish if my father would be happy with me. I smiled and we went away in Simran’s room. Her home was as big as any celebrity’s and her room was as big as three poor families would have sufficient place. Sumeet asked me “Why don’t you tell me this before?” I replied “I don’t like to show off a lot.” While I said this sentence Simran stared me with a huge anger. It was if I had passed a taunt on her. Juhi said to me “I want to meet your father once.” I said “As you wish, we would meet him.” Simran said “Let’s come to topic please. We are gathered here to make a project. We have to make a project which would be best in whole class. So today everyone’s work would be to collect all the information on the topic available, and tomorrow we will see what to do. I asked “If the project would be best then who will represent the view side in competition.” Simran said “Don’t daydream nonsense things.” I said “I am not daydreaming but I am thinking positive because I know that our project will be surely selected.” Simran said “We will see it tomorrow.” I collected the information from latest surveys, latest magazines and web. Next day it was announced in college that winning team would get grand prize of Rs.30, 000/-. I knew that it was college’s try to get best out of its students. I had not slept in whole night because I was busy making notes on the topic. Next day we all met in college canteen. Simran was not less than princess because she was very beautiful and boys were disturbing her very much. I had gone to give order for coffee for all of us. I was coming to table then I saw Shashi disturbing Simran. Shashi was most bad boy of class and every girl used to fear from him. He was very stylish his coloured hairs, his brown coloured sunglasses, his coat and his hair band of American flag. College life… 13

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I had to do something. I called Julia from my mobile phone. Julia was girl who likes to disturb boys. Julia became happy on my call and I asked her to hold a minute. Julia was fat and black like a platinum black. I gave my mobile to Shashi and said that Julia wants to talk to you. Shashi went away. Everybody laughed on Shashi’s expression for Julia. Simran stood up and slapped me and said “So it was your plan that Shashi would disturb me and you would save me and I would be impressed?” Everybody glared at me. Ashfaq was trying to explain Simran that she did a wrong thing and she guessed wrong about me. Simran had insulted me and I went away from there and sat at the stairs. Shashi went back to her and gave my mobile to Ashfaq and said “Today YuvRajj has saved you but someday nobody could save you from me.” Ashfaq said to Simran “Have you seen you have insulted him? Go and ask for forgiveness.” Simran said “No need to go because I don’t want him in our group.” I leaved the group but I helped them indirectly by helping Ashfaq, Sumeet and Juhi. They requested me to come back to the group but I resisted them. My notes were already with them. I was sure that the project which we made was one of the best in class. Finally the project was ready and it was submitted. Nobody knew that I had leaved the group. We were seating in the class. The best projects were to be announced. The teacher said “The best project from the counterview side is Simran’s and YuvRajj’s group.” Simran went and collected the project back. For every project leader and sub-leader were going but for our project I said Ashfaq to go. It was sure that in debate competition, our group (excluding me) will have to represent counterview side. It was after another week. It was decided by Simran that she would speaker from our side. It was also news that view team will have Monty as speaker and Monty was a national debate champion. At the day of debate competition, Simran was coming from car to debate hall. Our college’s campus was very big. Car stand was little away from debate hall so one needed to walk to debate stand. But that day, College life… 14

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Simran’s luck was little bad. Shashi and his other bad four friends surrounded Simran. I was sure today that we would win so I was returning from general store with snow spray. I saw her surrounded with Shashi and four other. Simran said to her “Shashi behave yourself. Please let me go.” Shashi said “This is a golden chance for me. We would enjoy you today. We would feast on you.” I saw that Simran would need my help. I went in between Simran and Shashi and said to Shashi “Friend, before you feast on her I have to take revenge from her for the slap.” He said “Let us feast first, and then you take your revenge.” He was coming towards Simran. He tried to touch her but I took Shashi’s hand and twisted it. His four friends came on me. We began to fight. It was hard case for me. But I saved her from them. I fainted all of them. I asked Simran “Are you okay madam?” I called police and Shashi and his friends were arrested. She had frightened. She was not able to say anything. I said to her “Everything is ok Simmi. No need to worry. See you have to win today. Worriness is not good for it.” She began to cry and she hugged me. She was not able to say anything. I took her to our group and I went back to canteen to fetch some water. Juhi informed me that she is not able to say anything. After fifteen minutes, competition would start. We can’t say others that our leader is not able to debate. I said “Then who will represent?” Everybody including Simran pointed towards me. I smiled and said “Only at one bet?” Everybody said “What bet?” I said “Simran will have to smile.” Everybody requested her and Simran smiled looking towards me. I said “Everything is okay.” Many debate competitions had held in my school but I never participated but I was having confidence in me and my knowledge. Infront of me was Monty Verma who was national debate champion. Everybody was sure that his win is fixed. But I was positive in myself. I was not prepared but I knew I would win. Two judges for competition were called, and they declared that competition would be held in three rounds. Those who will win three or two rounds will be winner.

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My chance came and I did not say much things. I started slowly. Monty came and crossed my many points. He took triple time then that of me. In next round he came first. But now he was looking tired, he did not say much and I crossed his all points. Everybody clapped for me. Politics was turning in my mind. He was looking tired. In third round, I had to come first and I made sure that everything which I said cannot be crossed easily. I was sure that the things which I said were the facts. Monty was very tired and he was not able to cross my point. Judges were soon then busy in discussion. One of the judges came in dais and announced “There is no doubt that today’s winner is not Monty Verma but it is YuvRajj Jindal. Such a classical debater he is. He did what I want. I have conducted national debate competitions but never found such debater. When he came I was sure that he would do something different. He has taught us a common life lesson to all of us today that slow and steady wins the race. He started at slow pace but when he became set then he caught speed but Monty did opposite of it. He started with high pace in first round and he was such tired in next two rounds that he was even not able to cross. Monty won first round but lost other two rounds. So I would like to request YuvRajj come and collect the prize.” I went to the dais and said “Sir, I have something to say. Actually today’s winner is Simran Mittal. Because actually she had to debate but she was unwell so I debated. If you allow me then I would like to call upon our leader Simran.” Judge said “Yes, you can but before you call let me say something that You YuvRajj will someday become country’s best lawyer. My experience is saying that.” Simran and I collected the prize and she hugged me infront of all. I pretended that I did not know about it. She was very happy. She was now able to say and she said “Thank you YuvRajj for helping me.” Suddenly she became unhappy. I asked “What happened?” She said “I am really very sorry for that day.” I said “Which day?” She said “The day I slapped you.” I said “I am ready to forgive on one thing.” She said “What?” I said “I will also slap you.” She said “Ok, slap please slap, I will feel good.” She closed her eyes.

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I did the action of slapping and just touched her cheeks slightly and said “You don’t look beautiful while crying.” She laughed and said me “Your smile is very awkward.” Then I went to Monty and said “You are really a good debater.” He said “No you are better and you actually are a national champion.” Then I went to my group back. Simran said that she would give party in evening. We had won money in the competition. Simran gave it to Ashfaq and Juhi. She did what I was thinking about. Simran said to me “You are not such bad. You are very silent in the class. What is the reason for that?” I said “I know that I am not such bad. I keep silence because I concentrate on just one goal. Can we be friends? Can I have your number?” She said “I need to think for friendship with you. Give me your number.” I got unexpected answer from her. I gave her my number. Juhi, Priyanka, Ashfaq, Sumeet had become my good friends but not Simran. She was different from others. It was the first time when I asked someone for friendship and number and I received a wrong response. Is this is a failure of YuvRajj Jindal?” Whenever I read spiritual books then all books said that some beings are spiritually enlightened and some are not. Very less number of persons is spiritually enlightened. According to the face reading she was little enlightened. It is said in the case of spiritually enlightened that they convey different meaning from different words. It was evening time and I was thinking about this things. I was sure that I would conclude a solution for this thing. Suddenly I receive vibration in mobile phone and I found that it was an unknown number. I didn’t receive it. She called me nearly 10 times. At her eleventh call, I picked her call and she said “Don’t you like picking my phone?” I said “It is not such that.” She said “Reach the friends point by 7.30 with your friends. I will see you there.” I said “Ok.” I, Sumeet and Ashfaq reached there by 7.30. As it is common that girls always come late, they came fifteen minutes late. The seat beside me was empty, Simran came and sat there. I felt little uncomfortable. She had worn red dress. I don’t observed carefully, but she was looking beautiful extremely beautiful just like a snow white.

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She took my mobile phone and took out his battery. I asked “Why?” She said “This is not of any use. The owner is not picking the call.” I said “There is not such that. I feel tired of using mobile phone.” She said “So you don’t pick any call even from your best friend.” I said “Simmi, I don’t have any best friend.” She said “Don’t call me Simmi. Only my best friends could call me by that name.” I said “Ok make me your best friend.” She said “You have become my friend but for becoming my best friend you have to pass one test.” I said “What is that test?” She said “You have to tell my likes and dislikes.” I said “For that you have to do one thing for me, Write two paragraphs from your heart about anything without copying from anywhere and do your signature below it on blank page.” She did it and showed it to me. I did the handwriting analysis. I told her likes and dislikes. She was amazed on my skill. She said “So you can read handwriting? How many talents you have?” I said “I have many talents to impress any girl.” She said “So you are trying to impress me?” Everybody was listening to us carefully. I said “No, no one tries to impress his/her best friend. I think we should order something?” We ordered pizza and a burger. Simran served me first and then served herself. Simran said “I have been proposed nearly by 15 peoples till now and I don’t know that how long the list will go.” I said “Don’t worry I am not going to propose you.” Everybody laughed. I then said “You have seen the power of our group. Let us be best friends of each other and let us make a group. See our life always two cycles, one is of sadness and one is of happiness and when the best friends are together then this both get sorted equal. Let us strive that we would help each other in the problem or anything. Let us show this world that worldly success lies in unity. Do we all think that we can be best friends of each other?” I put my hand infront. Then Simran put, following Priyanka, Juhi, Ashfaq and Sumeet also put. I was sure that I have got my best friends. Ashfaq said “YuvRajj be our leader please.” Everybody requested me including Simran. I said “We are friends, we are not politicians. One more thing I wanted to say that we should learn from each other something. We should learn frankness from Simran, Silence from Juhi,

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Smile from Priyanka, Kindness from Ashfaq, and Understanding from Sumeet.” Simran said “You are such boring yaar. Why do you turn to give lecture? You must be a priest in previous birth. Why don’t you talk about studies?” I said “Friends, we have subject called English, a figure of speech is there named ‘irony’. Let us see real example of irony. We have friend named Simran. If I say Simran that she looks very bad then that would be wrong and boys will beat me. We all know that Simran is very beautiful. So this was irony.” Everybody laughed. Simran stared at me. I said “Don’t stare me with such eyes because I fear that you would give me your footwear’s number instead of mobile number.” Everybody again laughed. Then party had ended and Simran went to pay bill but what she founded that the bill had been already paid. We were standing outside and Simran was inside. She asked me by signals that who paid the bills. I showed her my visa credit card. She came to me and said “Today was my party. Why did you pay the bill?” I said “We are best friends; there should be no words like mine and you. See for example, if I have to drive my best friend’s car then I would just demand keys and she would not mind anything.” I demanded the keys of Simran’s car. Simran smiled and gave it to me. I dropped Ashfaq, Sumeet at hostel and Juhi, Priyanka at their homes. Now I was going to drop Simmi. Today’s day was quite long. First the fight with Shashi and his group, then debate competition and atlast this party. Simran was very tired. She felt asleep in car. She slept at my shoulder. When I reached her home then she was still asleep. I woke her up; she was still in half sleep. I said to her “Do you plan to sleep here on my shoulder for whole life?” She said “No problem.” and again felt asleep. I woke her up again; she said “YuvRajj promise that you would never leave me.” She was in good mood and half sleep. I decided to drop her till gate of her home. While walking to gate of her home she said “YuvRajj promise me that you would never break my trust.” I said “I may die, but I will never break your trust and never leave you. This is YuvRajj Jindal’s promise.”

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I ringed the bell at her home’s gate and her mother opened door. Her mother said “YuvRajj, how are you son?” I said “I am fine aunty. I think she needs rest.” Simran went inside. Her mother said “I heard that due to you your group has won. Congrats for that. Keep it up. Your mother must be happy.” I said “Yes, my mother must be very happy today. She is always waiting for such moment.” Then I came back to hostel. I slept with thanking god for giving such day in life. Just before one hour of college, I received call from Simran. She said “I want to talk to you urgently. Can you come to college little earlier? I will wait at library.” I said “Ok.” I tried to guess what she wanted to say me. Yesturday she said “Never leave me and never break my trust.” I tried to guess if she loves me or she considers me a very special person in her life. This had happened to me before also. I was enjoying the mystery around me. I wanted to see what she will say. I went in library and I found her near table. I went to her and said “Simmi, what happened?” Simran said “I am sorry if I have said anything bad in night yesturday when I was in half sleep.” I said “No you said nothing. You just said that to take care.” Simran said “Thank god. I thought you might be hurt by any of my thing which I said.” I said “Don’t worry Simmi; I will never give you a chance for complaint. Let us have a walk around campus, you will feel good.” We went to campus to have a walk and talk. Simran said “Do you know one thing that when I think about the life then I always reach the conclusion that life is so complicated but when I think of you, I found life is so easy. Just think positive and you will have positive outcomes out of your works. I think that you never face sadness.” How could I tell her about my past full of sad and only a teaspoon of happiness? I turned her talk; I said “I don’t remember the past events but I just seek lesson from the past. Life is a tough teacher; it takes test first and then gives the lesson. Always look your past with satisfaction and future with bright chance of winning. We should look present as a new hope. When we want safe future then we need to control the present.

College life…

20

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

Gita says that work is in our hand but results are not in our hand. It means that life is in our hand and death is not in our hand so control your life before life controls you. We don’t know when the death will come to us. If we would live by having fright of death then life would be hell. So for living happily we have only one choice and that is to live every second of life fully.” Simran said “You must be nineteen years old but you are much experienced than anyone of your age.” I said “In my past I always thought of all this things. I always searched for these things. At this stage when I am studying for LLB then I think that my search is over. Yesturday was the first time in my life that I saved someone’s life that had insulted me, later won against national debate champion; forgiven you and at last made you my best friend. I never thought that these things would happen but this happened. But I was positive that whenever such things would happen then I would win anyhow even if I don’t know how I am going to do it.” Simran said “I am really sorry for that incident. It had happened unintentionally. I hate myself for that.” I said “You don’t need to be sorry. That slap was the cause that we became such good friends. Because it was the slap which made you feel about me and we became friends. I thank you for the slap.” I thought that I am not much that lucky that we can be lovers. She will love someone who would be the best as she was the best. Simran said “Today also one boy proposed me, and you know what I did?” I said “You must have slapped.” She said “I stopped slaps after I gave you one, I said sorry to him. I said him that I already have a boyfriend.” I said “So you fooled him?” She said “Yes…I took this lesson from you.” I said “You all girls are expert in taunting.” Days began to pass like this. Simran’s smile was something that would boost me for whole day. She had become part of my life. She was calling me nearly 5-6 times in day. Simran began to seat beside me in all classes. It was obvious that people were talking about us. They must be talking because they were jealous of what was happening around them. Many boys were coming to fetch her number but I was a politician. I was storing her number in the name of Sumeet.

College life…

21

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

When our group knew about this then we had laughed for about half an hour. After some days, all others began to say that Simran has kept bodyguard as me. One day, we were walking through the campus. Shashi came with nearly 10 persons. I went infront and Shashi stopped me. He began to beat me and also other 10 persons began to fight with me. I waited till the blood came out and Simran began to cry. I smiled. I had decided that I will not beat them because this type of fights generally doesn’t have results. It will grow and grow and never stop. Then I saw that Simran came in between to save me. Shashi tried to tease with her. Now I began to reply them. I beat everyone including Shashi and then nearly 20 friends of mine came to beat them. Shashi and his gang ran away. Shashi was rusticated with his friends. I was severely injured because I don’t beat them in reply and they were beating me continuously. Simran was crying. She said "Why don’t you beat them?” I said “I was checking if you get worried about me and also if you feel pain when they beat me and I found that you are too much worried and you feel pain for me.” Simran said “Why do you test me like this? Don’t you know that you hold an important part in life?” She took me to the hospital and did my first aid. I said to Simran “I am sorry to test you.” Simran said “You are an idiot.” I said “I cannot live as your bodyguard. Make me your boyfriend otherwise our friendship is over.” I said this and went away. I did not wanted to say this but I said this unknowingly. I think that I have begun to love her. Next two-three days I did not picked her call and also did not attended college. I had instructed Ashfaq, Sumeet to tell her that I had gone out of town. She was hard core girl, she called me everyday. One day I received SMS from her that— Cum out of da hostel… I know tat u r der… cum out When I went outside, I found her outside. I was not sure what she was conveying through the SMS. I went to her and she said to me “YuvRajj I enjoy your company and like you as a friend. I never thought of that way. I don’t want to hurt you. I am sorry. I am a daughter of an industrialist and you are son of a newspaper editor in chief. I am one of the cleverest in class and you… I hope you understood what I wanted to convey.” College life… 22

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

I never thought that Simran would leave me for such reasons. She did not know that I was son of Hirendra Jindal, one of the leading industrialists of state because she had gone inside her room while I was talking to her father. She had doubted on my cleverness. This will continue to hurt me. Exams were not conducted. I closed myself in a room and thought “Will YuvRajj always fail? No this time, YuvRajj will not fail.” Simran and I were now not talking as we were talking before. I did promise to myself that I will remove her all doubts. After some days, we stopped talking nearly. Soon the date of exams was declared. I was waiting for this. Studies were in my hand and I did it. Rest it was on god. Now our vacation had started and results were to be declared after five days. I was clear that after five days, Simran’s every doubt will end. Just when vacations started, Simran and our group decided to go to movie. I did not go with them. When Simran knew this, she called me and said “Why are you acting weirdly nowadays? Why are you avoiding me?” I replied “I am not acting weirdly. I was trying to remove someone’s doubt these days so was little busy in that. I am not interested to watch movie. I will call you later.” Next day, results were to be declared. I had learned just one thing that we should think positive even if the situation may be worse. Everyone fears from results. Next day I went little later to see the results. Everyone was busy in seeing the results. I and Ashfaq started to look from bottom. I do not search from top. 5 pages were there on notice board because our class had 250 students. We found Ashfaq, and Sumeet’s name but I do not found my name. I looked up to 4th page but I do not found my name. I turned sad because I had failed. I seek positive behaviour and I decided that I will study more in next exam. Simran came to me and said “Congratulations.” I said “Simran please stop insulting me. I know I have failed. My name is not there. Congrats to you. You are correct that you are one of the cleverest students of college.” Simran said “Idiot your name is in the first list. You are the cleverest student of college. You are having first rank. See there and you don’t tell me that you are son of an industrialist. I am sorry for that day. I have understood that I should not show off.” I went to list and what I saw there was that I was first in whole college. Tears rolled down College life… 23

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

by my eyes. Soon Sumeet, Ashfaq, Juhi and Priyanka surrounded me and told me for treat. This result taught me one thing that we should not understand ourselves weak from others otherwise we will become weak. We should always start from up not from lowest. When you are positive then some surprises will surely wait for you. Simran’s doubt was cleared that I was not clever but cleverest of all persons in college. I promised our group that we would surely meet in evening at friends point. Simran was seen no where. Priyanka said that she had gone to temple for some confession. Rain started. The drops of the rain soon were touching skin just like thorns. The rain grew heavy. In college, I had no vehicle so I went walking to temple. I saw Simran’s car in parking on other side of road. Rain was on his peak. I saw Simran coming down from stairs. I was just watching her. She was crossing road. She was not aware of the vehicle coming from left side. The vehicle was about to beat her but I pulled her back fast. She was saved by me. I said “So you like walking in rain because nobody can see you crying.” She said “How do you know that I am crying?” I said “When I was 16 years old… I was fond of reading poems. When I searched through net I found a very beautiful philosophical phrase… It was this… Love is not which gives life, Love is not which gives smile, Love is something which recognises tears fallen in the water… Never try to end own life because somebody really loves you.” Simran said “YuvRajj please forgive for that hostel incident. I had hurt you. Now before saying anything I would think 10 times because words strike deeper than sword. I know you love me but I need little time to think.” I said “Ok, say me yes or no in friends point in evening. Don’t worry we are still best friends and will be forever.” She smiled and went away. I continued to enjoy the rain. The rain was heavy.

College life…

24

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

I saw three small children who were begging for the money. I asked them that why they were not going to school. They said that they were reluctant due to their financial position of parents. I remember the days when I was feeling very lazy to go to school. Later after matriculation I felt that it was necessary to go to school for seeking the discipline in life after all it is school where we get our second lessons of life. First lesson we get from our parents. I turned sad because those three children will be away from primary education. My mind stopped working; I did not understand what to do. As a law student what can I do for these persons? I came back to hostel and began to think about the cause of the situation. Some reasons which approached my mind were that some parents were reluctantly sending their children to beg. Other reasons were that some of them may be orphan. When we think of something than we get both positive and negative points, negative points came to mind that begging was becoming more a business than just a need. While a family tour in religious places in Rajasthan, I found the whole gangs of beggars who were disturbing tourists in such scale that tourist were becoming reluctant to pay them. When you come out from temple then they start following you till your lodge or vehicle. Why do beggars beg? Is it display of inability? It is often said that society is responsible for such things. Persons which are disturbed by the society either become terrorist or beggar. How the society is responsible? Many people say that whole system is responsible but why we don’t understand that system is made by us. While blaming the system why we don’t understand that we cannot count how much we have done corrupt practices. People say that politicians are responsible for all the things. But why don’t they understand that we have the voting power and we have elected them. Why don’t we think at time of voting? We call all policeman corrupted. But we don’t know that he is getting such low salary that he cannot get two time square meal. So he indulges himself to take bribe. This all things are due to lack of sincerity. When I was living in our city then our city had nearly 6 hours of power cut. When I researched I College life… 25

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

found that electricity board was running in loss. Some cables were stolen while much part of electricity was also stolen by people by illegal practices by people. Much of the electricity amount was not collected by people. Due to all these things, India faces problem in development. Whenever I approached newspapers, I found that some groups are always planning for strike. They want more facility from government freely. Another problem is caste reservation. Every person should have fair chance to compete. Caste reservation indirectly affects the country’s development. Candidate ‘A’ who has got fewer marks gets admission to some college due to caste reservation which blocks the admission of candidate ‘B’ who has got more marks than candidate ‘A’. Here we are sure that candidate ‘B’ is cleverer than the candidate ‘A’. In other words, country’s development is put on stake. This is wrong use of country’s freedom. As a citizen of country what can I do? I can contest in politics. I can do IAS etc. I thought that I should start from small. A little change is just like a particle of fire that brings a massive revolution. I entered hospital. I found that many people die due to unavailability of blood. I donated blood. I was having full information before donating blood that person who is more than 18 years in age, has weight more than 50 kg and is healthy and not infected from any disease can donate blood 300 mg in 6 months. When I read medical book then I found that making of blood in human body is a fast process and person is not harmed by donating the blood. While donating blood it should be made sure that injection used in that is new or not. I got ready to go to friends point. Today I had thought of few things which were problem in the path of India for becoming superpower. I can just do positive hope that one day India will become superpower.

I received this message from Simran… College life… 26

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

Yes… I closed my eyes and felt the pleasant breeze of the first emerging. Sometimes the image when she slapped me, the sentences which she said while she came in hostel were touching me like horn. But I thought that every coin has two faces. She had shown me her bad side but actually the good side is that she is changed. She has confessed for the things she did. When I thought about this then I felt the scent of Simran. She messaged me to come out of hostel. I went out of hostel. She said “You suit to tough looks but you give extra tough looks. You should smile at least for me. If you would continue to give tough looks then I would feel that happiness doesn’t lie in the world. You should know that now you are someone’s happiness. Happiness is huge form of smile. Smile relieves the pain. Smile costs nothing but it works worth a million.” I said to her “So you have developed my habit of giving lectures. Good you are showing impact caused by me.” She said “Yes impact will be there surely and I can’t stop them because I love you.” We hugged each other. At last all problems, misunderstandings were ended. We went to friends point. Juhi and Priyanka were waiting there already. Soon Ashfaq and Sumeet also reached. We ordered noodles, pizza and shezwan rice. While eating Juhi asked “What is the secret behind your first rank?” I said “I didn’t study even a single bit at hostel. I just concentrated on lectures. I just made simple notes and tried to scrape out which may be asked this year. My guesses were right and atlast I was first. Just try your best and don’t try to scrape out what may be in the result. Your work was to study and result is god’s work.” I said “Friends! Today we all children have forgotten his teachings but his teachings are applicable in all times. In 21 st century, we feel very surprised to believe that there was human body that kicked 5 lakh British people out of our country without ever touching a gun. He is father of our nation Mahatma Gandhiji. I was reading one of the books which were written on him. Even after reading so much I didn’t got reason that why he was killed? When I watched one film made on him then I came to know that he was killed because he was supporting Muslims. College life… 27

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

It is said that if India and Pakistan became one country then our country will be easily superpower. But the problem is that there are some agents in our country and Pakistan which do not support this. I do not support any religion but just think that if this education system is little changed. Mahatma Gandhi said that moral should be set on ethics drawn by the religions not on believes of religion. From the long days, I support this thing and believe my life has totally changed positively. As lawyers, can we do any change for promoting communal peace? God has said in the epic of Islam religion that ‘When an innocent dies then whole humanity dies.’ The sin of terrorism is done by a human not its religion. This is wrong thing. We all know an insect ‘Mantis’. When I was seeing a program on discovery about it then it was said that it is a sign of evil but actually in Greek language it means ‘Prophet’. Like this only, terrorist is a human being who is not of any particular religion. If we six persons spread some awareness among the people then will people change their thought on religion of terrorist? It’s necessary to spread the ideals of Gandhiji otherwise they would think Gandhiji as a fantasy. In newspaper called ‘Dainik Bhaskar’ I had read news that British teenagers feel Gandhiji as an imaginary character. We have to show them that he had existed in our country. We all have a relation with Gandhiji that we are lawyers and he was also a lawyer. It was said that he could speak about 8 languages and write with both hands. Even at the age of 78, he used to work 17 hours. Very less people know these facts.” Simran said “Yes I think this can make some awareness about people. After doctors, we are one of the most important professionals of the country and country does depend on us. Many big and great politicians are lawyers.” Ashfaq said “It is a very good sign that nowadays people are becoming aware about the real meaning of religion There should be only one religion in whole religion i.e. humanity.” Sumeet said “Till I came to this college. I was contradicted from my feelings about Islamic religion but our great sir YuvRajj Jindal changed my thinking and brought me to the right path.” I said “Thanks.”

College life…

28

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

Juhi said “YuvRajj what is responsible for this type of thinking?” I said “Juhi… Educational institutions are responsible for this type of thinking. I was alumni of SVM where elements of Hindu religion were taught but independently I read epics and political science then I came to know these factors.” Priyanka said “India is a vast country and this work is just like an impossible one but as YuvRajj says that we should think positive then I just hope that this can be done.” We ended our meal and I went to do payment then I found that payment was already done. I know it was done by Simran. It was tit for tat for me. I went to Simran and said “Simmi… today was my party dear.” She said “I know…but we are best friends Na…” While she was going, everybody had got infront I whispered in her ear “I am first boyfriend in the world whose girlfriend spends money on him.” Sumeet, Ashfaq, Juhi and Priyanka went away. I and Simmi went in her car. I drove the car. I still remember the song which she played that was ‘Tu hi haqeeqat’ from Tum Mile. I stopped the car near a four lane road. Road was wet and looking dark due to rain in noon. Sky was black as it was night. I took out rose from pocket and said to her “You are the start of emerging for me. You are lucky charm for me. I love the way you smile. I love the way you talk. I mean to say I love you. Do you love me?” I gave her rose. She said “You are person who changed my life positively. You walk like a solution to every problem. You are a sadness ender in my life. I love the way you when you make your point while talking. I am impressed by your practical knowledge. I love you too.” She accepted my rose. Song switched to ‘To Chalon’ from film Border in her car. I became emotional about the song. I dropped her at her home. Her father opened door. I touched the legs of her father. Her father said “Son YuvRajj! There is no doubt that you are one of the brightest persons of your time. Remember you have great power and with great power comes great responsibilities. Congrats on your first rank. Come in, I want to have a talk with you.” I went in and we sat on sofa. Simran went inside her room.

College life…

29

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

Mr. Mittal said “Your father had called me yesturday. I congratulated him on your first rank. But he was unaware about your result. But he became very happy. Why don’t you inform your father?” I said “Uncle, me and my father generally don’t talk too much. We may seat beside each other for hours but we don’t talk. We talk only if there is any urgent need.” He further asked “Why is this so?” I replied “I don’t know uncle but I still think that I don’t know him much or either it must be because of differences of opinion. He was generally busy in his business and I was generally busy in my work. We may not talk for years but we have deep understanding.” Mr. Mittal bid me good night and good bye and I came back to my hostel. .

Our first two years ended. Finally the third year is main year. Now moot court competition was conducted and an imaginary court was made. In first round, I had to fight with Monty Verma. In second round, my opponent was second ranker Suparn Sharma who was perfectly looking like a terrorist. I had fright from him because he used to memorise everything. He was looking like terrorist because he was shaving once a month. He used to study 16 hours a day. But I know that learning is not a solution to study. Studies are to increase the excellence. For being a good lawyer you ought to know all sections and all laws and far more important is to understand the case. When you have excellence that you don’t need to remember all the sections, it automatically comes in your mind because your mind has an unknown science of memory. While at a lecture, our principal sir said “An excellent lawyer is one, who has developed excellence. Excellence comes when you understand your client and case properly and you apply proper section/law. Every case has two sides i.e. good and bad. Just follow your conviction. Just believe yourself. Remember person who follows proper side always wins either directly or indirectly. College life… 30

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

You must be having doubt in winning directly or indirectly. I will clear it through a story. Directly means when you win case on your power and indirectly means when god helps you for winning the case. Today I will share a case story which I got from TV serial Siddhanth. It was a series which was specially made in accordance of lawyers. It follows the life of lawyer ‘Siddhanth Mehra’. It was long before aired on Star One. In one of the cases, a person was there who had gone to coma. His brain had dead. Doctors were not sure whether he will ever recover or not but till he was in coma he had survive through many physical difficulties. His wife was not able to see problems of her husband. She demanded doctors to kill (mercy killing) her husband. Doctors told her that it is in hands of the law. When she asked about mercy killing of her husband to her in-laws then they opposed it. Her mother-in-law opposed her. She decided to take the help of the Siddhanth Mehra. Her opponent was her mother-in-law. Siddhanth Mehra lost his case but he knew that he was following proper side. In evening time, Siddhanth receives call that her husband died automatically. This is called as indirect win.” Whole class clapped for principal sir. I had seen the whole series of Siddhanth Mehra. I had even seen this case. It was atlast the serial Siddhanth Mehra which helped me to choose me my field. I reached in final round in moot court competition. My opponent was Suparn Sharma again. We were given a case and we had to fight it. I took the case papers and went back to hostel. Whole class was waiting to see the fight. I had not seen the case papers. Just the college had given us few papers and we had taken. Imaginarily an amount was offered for each case. It was just written on the case paper and we had to fight accordingly to it. When I was coming back to hostel then peon came to me and informed me that principal sir is calling me. I went to principal’s office and he said me “YuvRajj! I have seen you. I have a great hope with you. I know that you will do well but remember whenever you are in any problem than just follow your intuition or conviction and you will win.”

College life…

31

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

When I reached hostel then I found that I was representing the bad side. My intuition was not allowing me to represent it because I had promised that I will never represent bad side. I was offered 10 lacs as the case amount which I think was highest till now to anyone in moot court competition. I studied more deeply and I found that this case can be easily won. Next day at the day of final competition, Simran called me in morning. I informed her that I am going to leave the competition. She came to my hostel and I told everything in sequence which happened and she agreed to my points. Simran had reached till semi finals but Suparn representing the bad side defeated her. We went to college. Moot court competition started and I said infront of everyone “I don’t worry if I lose after saying this. My conviction is not allowing me represent bad side. Till final rounds, I got every case from good case and I won but now I am representing bad side and I can’t break the promise which I did to myself 3 years ago. I have been offered 10 lacs as case amount but I don’t work for money. I work for justice. Sorry.” I heard a clap from principal sir and soon others also started to clap. Principal Sir came to dais and said to everyone “YuvRajj is not proud that he studies in this college but this college is proud that it has student like YuvRajj. He has set example for all of us. Actually I had changed the sides. I knew YuvRajj would do something like this. There is no doubt for me that winner is YuvRajj Jindal. YuvRajj students like you come once in a millennium. You are the best lawyer.” I looked down and cried for few seconds. Principal Sir hugged me and soon my classmates surrounded me. I was slowly fulfilling my dreams.

Our third year’s exams had ended and we were waiting for results then I received the news that my father is going to set up new industry. I decided to go back to Narwad. Narwad was my hometown. I saw that there was no change. I went to industrial area and saw that construction is been carried out for a new industry.

College life…

32

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

I had hired a hotel in Narwad. I went to old industry. I wished to see it after so many years. When I tried to enter the industry, I was stopped by the security guard. I told him that I wished to see the plant from inside. He inquired about me. I told him that I was lawyer from profession and came there in the work of case. He called manager of the factory and manager came out. He was working in our industry from near one and half decade and he recognised me. He scolded the security guard and told him that “Idiot he is the owner of the industry. Don’t you know him? He is son of Hirendra Jindal. He is YuvRajj Jindal.” I stopped him. I gave 100 Rs. to security guard for his good work. Fortunately my father was not there. I entered inside. Nobody knew me except manager and I instructed him not to disclose my identity. I also told him not to inform the father. After seeing it when I was going back to hotel then my father saw me. He came to me. He came to me and asked “When you came?” I said “Just now…” He again asked “Where are you staying?” I said “I have hired a hotel…” He said “Bring your bags here. We will go to home.” I nodded. I checked out from hotel and brought my bags there. We went to home. My mother became very much happy after all I was coming after 3 years. My father said “Good, so you think you have turned independent?” I said “No… why?” He said “You don’t need to be so angry on scolding of your elders. Give me all papers of your education loan. I will close it.” I said “Ok.” He asked “So you are first in your class. You also won debate competition in first year and moot court competition and Mr. Mittal’s daughter is in your class?” I said “Yes.” He said “Good. Keep it up. You can order any vehicle you want. You are son of the chairman of Jindal group of industries.” I grew happy and said “Thanks dad.” I received call from Simran “Where are you?” I said “Home with my dad and mom. Why what happened?” She replied “Everybody is searching you over here. Okay I will call you later.” I was trying to talk to her but she was looking in some hurry. I was at home meeting with old friends. Soon bell ranged and the scene which I found fainted me. Simran and my group were here. They had come here at my home. I introduced them to my parents. They had

College life…

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Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

come without informing their parents and I was not allowing going in one day only. My dad called Mr. Mittal and told him that Simran is here and he doesn’t needs to worry. He also informed Mr. Mittal that she will come after 2-3 days. Simran was with me. It was very good that she was here. When they went to guest house, mom told that Simran is very beautiful. Guesthouse was little away from our house. I went there. Everybody was angry with me including Simran. I told them all that happened. Till now I had pleasantly emerged through all problems. I don’t worry what may happen. I don’t feel inferiority complex because I have bigger thinking than other. Material pocessions are just temporary happiness. The greediness human mind grows if it gets something. We should be greedy in our ambitions means we should be more ambitious.

We decided to go for holiday to some hill station. I suggested ‘Mahabaleshwar’. Mahabaleshwar is near Pune. It is called as heaven of Maharashtra. Pune is called as oxford of east. We took Innova to go there and I took the driver’s seat. Simran was seating beside me. I connected my mobile to car via USB and played songs from my mobile. I had started thinking from lawyer’s point of view. I was someone who was now going in fourth year. I was more confident then before and for the first time in my life I was able to see my vision clearly. When we think about future then we found many uncertainties and many problems, which turn us negative. For that, only possible solution is one that we should think about some extent only and if then also you are getting negative points in your future; you should think that you would surpass it anyhow.

College life…

34

Raj Agrawal We were Mahabaleshwar. enjoying the

RRI travelling and

The lost moment… soon we reached

It is truth of life that there will be problems and happiness. Some problems, or incidents affect life badly and heart becomes heavy with emotions. That time either you need someone’s support or so simple is that you could write that incidents in your diary and your heart will feel light. The thing is not that how much problems you face but how much experienced it makes to you. Perfection is about taking lessons from life i.e. experience. Sometimes I used to write diary. Nearly 7 years ago, I had written a thought in one of my diaries that ‘Never fall in the trap that you have to work to gain respect but to gain self satisfaction.’ I had written many details in diary. I used to carry it always in my bag. I had not carried it with me here. I used my mobile and took snaps with whole group and some with Simran. I was very happy in my life. Simran had changed a lot since I had met her first time. She was sign of my bright future and I don’t wish to see the signs of my bad and dark past. The past has turned history now. It is a proverb that history repeats itself. But I don’t want that history to repeat. The time when you reinvent yourself, is very hard time. My diary was my mirror at some part of time and my friends were my life. I was doing everything for them which would make their life easy. My past was full of negatives but today I have to positives with my work. In school I was never able to come first but today I am first in college and if I continued this run in final year then I would reach my dream. I had made three dreams in my life.

College life…

35

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

As my life would go, I am damn sure that I would fulfil my dreams. I dreamt to be gold medallist in final year. Three years are end and two to go. I was sure I would reach it. You can call those three dreams as three phases of my life. I know that life has some bad rules but… I was taught by my father that we should not try to change the rules but we should try to change the game. I had read a book named ‘The Last Lecture’ by Randy Pausch in which I got a very inspiring line ‘We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.’ He was person who had pancreatic cancer and he had ten tumours in his body which he called as ‘elephant in the room’. When he knew that he was going to die then he decided to give lecture. His lecture was viewed by thousands of people on Youtube. I also thought that I was moving away from Simmi. I was having very bad behaviour with her till now. I had decided that I would become the best lover a girl can have. I had ended third year with first rank again and Simran was there in first ten. Simran was standing infront of the notice board talking with our group members. I had a gift for her. I had written poem for her. Here her few lines of it… For that day, I feel very sad… When my behaviour was very bad… My mind is so stuck… That I don’t believe on my luck… I am so fortunate… That you are my mate… Your problem would be my problem… You and only you is my aim… You are my second name… You are my gem… I would remove the age of dark… I would leave no mark… Even for your smile, I will die… Sadness will fly…

College life…

36

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

She was very happy with the gift. In these days, I had forgotten that I am a poet and writing was my big power at some time. It was Simran who brought me back to my life. It was 4 years now, which I had not, taken her for even a date. Date was far away, I had not even taken her to a movie. That day, I planned to take her to a date.

In that date… Simran said to me “You are so changed.” I replied “See I don’t know that but I know that I am doing something great.” I said to her “It is correct that I belong to big industrial background but I am not going to be successor to my father’s industry. Will you be with me even after that?” I looked at her face. She had serious approach. It was the time which was able to break my happiness. Later she smiled and replied “My hero, I love you but not your background. I would be with you always in any problem.” I said “Simmi, my dear path may be hard.” She said “I have faith in you.” I smiled. Time changes like a writing on a sea coast or on sand. I had met a philosopher who had written book on this topic. Last paragraph which he had used in his book was – Time should not be compared to sand because nothing can be permanently written on sand but time can be permanently stopped when a person dies. That means we can permanently write on sand. This is the contradiction which has left me thinking for decades. Till that date I used to take Simmi simply but after that date I had decided that Simran was one of the most important parts of my life.

One day, I was waiting for Simran to come in college. She was coming down from a heavy traffic road in car. I waited for half and hour College life… 37

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

and after that for an hour, but she did not come. She was different from all other girls because she used to be generally on time. I called her but I found it not reachable. I tried many times but all time there was same response. I received call from Sumeet about Simran’s accident and he said that she crashed her car to truck. She was injured on head and she was admitted in main hospital. I reached main hospital. Simran’s dad and mother had reached hospital already. Doctors told us that operation was needed to be done and specialised surgeon was needed. It was major head injury. Doctor of main hospital told that only one doctor was specialised in it. I was always worried about this scene. I was about to cry but controlled myself. I asked doctor about that specialised doctor. I did never believe that god is present but something happens and you have to believe that god is there. They said the name “Trupti Jindal” and I was happy as well as in problem. Trupti Jindal is name of my real sister. I had stopped talking to her due to difference of opinions. I had not spoken to her from 4 years. I said to doctors if they had called her. They had called but her assistant refused to send her without appointment. Doctor said that Simran’s health is very critical. We need to be fast. In my last call to her I had said that I would never call her but that day it was necessary. When we were small we used to tell each other that I would fight her case freely and she would help me freely in any emergency. I was lawyer from blood and my mind had started to work lawyer that time. I can use that childhood promise to bring her here. Simran was my life and one can do anything for the life. I had decided to call her. I was not having her number. I called my sister’s assistant. He was not giving my call to her but when I said him my name then he directly gave call to her. I said my name and she became happy and I said the whole situation and asked her for help. I started crying on the phone and my sister replied me that she is coming. She operated Simran and after that we had sorted out our misunderstandings. I later told her about me and Simran. She told me College life… 38

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

that there are little complications in the memory nerves of Simran and she might lose memory. She was faint. What to say about my sister? She was the most brilliant and perfect student ever said. She was always top. We had fought in joke but it took 4 years to sort out our misunderstandings. One part of my heart was very heavily sad and one was little happy. Simran was not out of faint till whole night. I remained in hospital and it was said that the whole day was critical for her. I had just started to take her seriously and this incident happened. Next day morning, when Simran came out of faint, I went to her room. She did a thing which I can’t believe. She asked me “Who are you?” She was not recognising me. She did not recognise anyone. She had lost her memory. I was not sure that will she ever remember me or will always remain ‘who are you?’ This incident had severely hurt me. Till then that I will be with… “Who are you?” This was the first lost moment of my life. Two more were still to come.

To be continued…

College life…

39

Raj Agrawal

RRI

The lost moment…

College life…

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