The Snows Of Yakima


The Snows Of Yakima

The Snows Of Yakima

Rating PG-13

Disclaimer iDon’t own iCarly or any other show or works of art used for this noncommercial story.

The Snows Of Yakima



Pilot 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 Yakima College . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Carly Shay . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Megan Parker . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lights go down . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Back At Law School . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

1 1 1 2 2 4 5 5 6 7 8 8 10 10 11 13 14 14 16 17 18 19 19 20 22


Gaudeamus Igitur 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5 Nevel comes to Yakima . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101 Huebscher Hall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lunch with Megan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Let the music play . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Student Party . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


Signing Up 3.1 3.2 3.3 After the Party . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Creddier Or Seddier . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Internships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


Elder Siblings In Town 4.1 4.2 4.3 4.4 Car Trip . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Home Seet Home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Shopping In Yakima . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dustin fesses up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


Years Ago 5.1 5.2 5.3 Zachariah Carter Schwartz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Geena Fabiano . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Spencer breaks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Snows Of Yakima


Fall 6.1 6.2 Climate Shock . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Looking for Geena . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.2.1 6.2.2 6.2.3 6.2.4 6.3 Agent Chuck . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nicole Bristow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Espionage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hairy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

23 23 24 24 24 25 25 26 27 27 28 29 30 32 32 34 35 36 36 37 38 39 41 41 41 42 42 44 44 45

Zoey’s friends . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


Shockwave 7.1 7.2 7.3 7.4 Finding Geena . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . In the closet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dustin gets informed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Nicole at Olympia Law . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


Forgotten 8.1 8.2 8.3 Restless Dreams . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dustin’s Nightmares . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Age Gap . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


Similar 9.1 9.2 9.3 9.4 News From San Diego . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lost Home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Trisha Kirby . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Zoey Sidelined . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

10 Begin Of Thanksgiving Week 10.1 Snow Keeps Falling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.2 Malika In Town . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.3 Watching Out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.4 Arrival Of The Boobs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.5 Sleepy Eyes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.6 Dustin falls asleep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.7 Keep On Hoping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Snows Of Yakima

11 Thanksgiving 11.1 Dustin and Zoey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11.2 Spencer in Yakima . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11.3 Zach’s Question . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11.4 At The Shay mansion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 After Thanksgiving 12.1 End Of Break . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12.2 Leann and Zach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12.3 Spring Concert . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12.4 Nicole On The Prowl . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12.5 Leann’s Visit . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Dandy Drake 13.1 Drake and Josh in Olympia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13.2 Making Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Celeste Carly 14.1 Prepare A Double Date . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14.2 The Sound Of The Oboe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14.3 Parker And Nichols . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14.4 Zoey’s Worries . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Back Then 15.1 Parker Nichols . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15.2 Nevel and Megan To Cabaret . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15.3 Dustin and Sam . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Lafe Berkowitz 16.1 Mission Nicole . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16.2 The Search . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16.3 Leann’s Plan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16.4 The Parkers And The Nichols . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16.5 Lafe Is Found . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

46 46 47 48 49 51 51 51 52 53 54 56 56 58 60 60 61 63 63 65 65 65 68 70 70 71 71 72 73

The Snows Of Yakima

17 The Peacemaker 17.1 Mandy Valdez . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17.2 Baby’s Name . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17.3 Queen Of Fans . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17.4 Engaged . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17.5 Spencer’s Change Of Mind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17.6 Double Wedding . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Double Wedding 19 Honeymoon 19.1 Aftermath Of Wedding . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.2 Reactions In Seattle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.3 Beach House . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.4 Arrival In Carlsbad . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.5 Hotel Staff . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.6 Voyeurism . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.7 Hungry At Midnight . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19.8 Return To The Cold . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Finale 20.1 Armand Spencer Brooks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.2 Megan and Nevel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.3 Josh and Quinn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.4 Drake and Lola . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.5 Fredward and Samantha . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.6 Nicole Bristow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.7 Mandy and Robbie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.8 Magic Malika . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.9 Leann and Zachariah . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20.10Zoey And Spencer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

74 74 75 76 77 77 78 79 84 84 84 85 86 86 87 88 88 89 89 89 90 90 91 91 91 92 92 92

Abstract Abstract Pregnant college girl Carlotta Shay is just on the brink. Will the intervention of her cousin Megan save her or seal her doom?

The Snows Of Yakima


Genres Fluff, Family, Friends


Primary Fandom iCarly Secondary Fandoms Drake & Josh, Zoey 101 Peripheral Fandoms Victorious, Unfabulous, Ned’s Declassified SSG, Big Time Rush, Spectacular!, True
Jackson VP, Best Player, Fairly Odd Movie, Just Jordan, Shredderman Rules

Summary College girl Carlotta Shay is pregnant with the child of her semi-boyfriend Fredward Benson. But the latter has never loved Carly and only used her. Carlotta’s cousin Megan is the first to get to know from Carly about her misfortune. But Megan loves Carlotta’s archenemy Nevel Papperman. Will she effect doom or boon upon Carly? The winter of Yakima is very stressing for students accustomed to the warmth of coastal southern California. But it is a fertile ground for musicians Megan and Nevel.

Characters and Pairings The story features about everyone and his dog from iCarly, Drake & Josh, and Zoey 101 Pairings include Carlotta Shay – Dustin Brooks, Nevel Papperman – Megan Parker, Fredward Benson – Samantha Puckett, Spencer Shay – Zoey Brooks et cetera.

Timeline The story starts after any of the shows or movies, unto the point of early 2011.

Background The story is written for Livejournal community 20 Est Relships, one prompt per chapter.

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Chapter 1 Pilot
1.1 Yakima College
A gentle wind from the west blew across Yakima valley, a pictoresque landscape within the less urbanised part of the state of Washington. This was the location of Yakima College, an institution of postsecundary education. Summer had come to an end. Unlike Seattle, Yakima was located hundreds of yards above sea level. Its winters were not as suave as those of coastal Washington. This allowed for activities like skiing, not to the degree of e.g. Aspen in Colorado, though. Alas, many students welcomed this climate for a change. Some young people, however, had chosen this place for different reasons. Yakima was rather rural. It did not offer any of the distractions of a big city: no cinema running for twentyfour hours a day, no endless malls, no great teams for the greatest typical American sports, no exciting clubs, and stuff like that. Life over here was, on the other hand, cheaper and safer than in certain centres of civilisation. And it was definitely more quiet.

1.2 Carly Shay
One of them was Carlotta Shay, a smart and sweet girl from downtown Seattle. She was now in her sophomore year. Unlike the majority of the students, she did not live on the campus. Her grandfather, a well-known lawyer, hosted her in his mansion. Before college time, Carly used to live in Seattle with her significantly older brother Spencer, a law school drop out and hungry artist. Grandpa Shay had persuaded him into taking up his studies again after Carly’s departure for college.

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It took Spencer one year to find a willing law school. His vitae was terrible. Grandpa Shay had to use his contacts and struggle hard in order to sneak his grandson into Olympia Law School. Carly had enjoyed her freshman year. But many things were now different. The worst of those news are going to be dealt with later on.

1.3 Megan Parker
Carlotta’s cousin Megan Parker, formerly living in warm San Diego, next to the Mexican Border, was now a freshman, and she shared Carly’s room. Both of the girls looked fairly similar. This was both a sourse of fun and a burden. But Megan had not come to Yakima just because of her grandfather. Her boyfriend, viz. Nevel Papperman, was now a freshman at Yakima’s, too. He lived on the campus. He was from uptown Seattle. Megan and Nevel had met for the first time in Camp Opera, a summer camp for ninteenth-century music. Alas, Carly had known Nevel a few years ago, and she hated him to death for no good reason. Thus Megan had to keep their relationship top secret in order to avoid causing a tsunami wave of hurly-burly.

1.4 Lights go down
Megan had arrived in Yakima one day before the official begin of the academic year. Grandpa had fetched her from the airport of Seattle-Tacoma. Now she was busy accomodating her luggage. Carly and Megan had not met in over ten years. They had a lot to talk about. Megan had to go to bed early, though. Her plane trip from California to Washington by plane and the car trip from Seattle to Yakima had been a bit awkward. In addition, Megan was supposed to play Gaudeamus Igitur on her oboe for the impending opening of the academic year at this college. But Carly offered some tortured impression as well. Nevertheless, she was not talking about any reason. Megan and Carly thus called it a day rather early. The lights were turned off.

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Carly tried to fall asleep. But she did not get far. Shes started screamimg. ‘No, Freddie! You must be joking?’ Megan startled. ‘Carly? What’s going on? What has Frednub done to you?’ Fredward Benson was a boy living next door to Carly at Bushwell Plaza in Seattle. He had been hankering after her for over five years. Nowadays, he was taking classes at a technical school in Seattle in order to become a metal engineer. He was obsessed with sandpaper.1 Carly had not really been returning Fredward’s affection as much as hoped, barring a few days following his bad accident. She had almost been run over by a truck, only saved by Freddie’s suicidal intervention. But this dangerous event had been during their soph yearat high school. It did not cause a change on the long run. Alas, things changed during Carly’s first year in Yakima. The separation hasd made Carly ponder about her demeanour towards Freddie. She had started pitying the dweeb for his endurance and his permanent disappointments. Thus she had decided to give him a try during the summer break. She had missed him a lot, and also her other frineds from her old shool, such as obsessiuvely rude girl Samantha Puckett, nowadays preparing for her career as a grease monkey. But, after a few weeks, there had been one unpleasant surprise. Carly had accidentally listened to a phone conversation between Freedward and Samantha. Therein, Fredward had claimed to have won his bet with her. What had been Freddie’s and Sam’s bet been about? Plain and simple, Sam had always claimed ‘Carly will never love Fredward.’ They had made this subject of the bet. Freddie boasted now with being victorious. But he also admitted to really loving Sam. Dating Carly was just for the sake of the bet. And Sam accepted this without a trace of hesitation. So, Carly had just been abused. Even worse, a medical test resulted in the following: Carly Shay was pregnant, with Fredward Benson’s baby! She could not go back to Freddie just for the baby’s sake, knowing him in love with Sam. In addition, Fredward’s mother, neurotic bitch Marissa Benson, was most likely going to wreak havoc upon hearing about Freddie becoming a dad. regardle of the baby’s mother. And Sam had only used Carly shamelessly for about a decade in order to avoid youth prison. Carly thus had kept her pregnancy a secret. She did not want to bother Fredward or Samantha, or even Spencer with it. Talking to her grandfather would have been even worse. Thus she decided to tell Megan the bloody story.
1 cf.

iCarly : iStart A Fanwar.

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Carly’s cousin gasped. ‘Oh my gosh!’ Carly’s faith prevented her from abortion. Adoption was such an awkward hassle. Carly did not know where to start, especially without telling Spencer, grandpa, or her father. The latter was an airforce commander living abroad. Raising her baby on her own was not exactly a nice prospect, either. And boys were rarely keen on considering a girlfriend pregnant from someone else. Thus Carly considered her life ruined. Megan shrugged. She would have liked to help her cousin, notwithstanding the latter’s conflict with Nevel. But she was just a teenage girl.

1.5 Back At Law School
So, Spencer was now back to law school after a break of ten years. This was awakward. He was now already in his thirties. Most of the freshmen were ten years younger than Spencer. And the rest of the students was not much older. All the years ago, Spencer had got varying girlfriends. His careless attitude, typical for hungry artists, had prevented him from maintaining long-term relationships. The women here being much younger, there was no hope for him to get any further during the next years, not without disappointing grandpa again and dropping out for good due to skipping classes and flunking his studies. After graduating, he could certainly impress women with his law school diploma, especially serious women looking for serious relationships with serious-looking man. But, by then, he would be in his mid-thirties. Conversely, most students did not readily consider Spencer Shay as one of theirs. Zoey Brooks, a freshman aged twenty-two years, mistook him for a law school teacher and asked him for advice for her schedule. Needless to say, Spencer was not only unable to offer any of the expected help, but also totally embarrassed by admitting to his real status. Zoey sighed deeply and looked for help somewhere else. ‘See you in the classes!’ Spencer sighed. He was so prone to skipping classes. And he would have liked to avoid being seen among a bunch of twenty-something people. He felt so senile. His life had been over long since. Now he was just waiting for his slow death ceremony, called classes.

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Chapter 2 Gaudeamus Igitur
2.1 Nevel comes to Yakima
Nevel Papperman exited the pullman bus taking a bunch of students at ‘Yakima’s’ to their campus. This was his freshman year. Nevel had been the worst enemy of iCarly, the uttermost popular web show produced by Carly with the help of Freddie and Sam, for almost five years, swearing to put a violent end to the ‘pollution of the interweb’. Then the web show had come to its natural end. Carlotta, Fredward, and Samantha’s graduation and dispersion to different colleges had made a direct collaboration and continuation of their schedule impossible. Fredward had been looking for a way of reforming iCarly into an interweb conference show. But Carly’s lack of interest in the necessary technical prerequisites made this option too tough to realise. There was no reason for Nevel left to care about it. He had committed a serious of dubious onsloughts on iCarly during the last years. One of them got him sentenced to a huge fine for driving a car without a driver’s license and causing some not insignificant material damage to third-party property, not mentioning the costs for the medical treatment of some severe injuries to his own body, and all that at the age of thirteen.1 In addition, he had been pushed into several hundreds of hours of community work and anger therapy sessions. This had not at all been a bonus for his application for the college. In consequence, he had only been accepted on parole. The college shrink was going to supervise him during the following years. Nevel held Carly responsible for all this bunch of disturbances. And the whole trouble had started due to Nevel’s confusion. Carly and Megan looked very similar.
1 cf.

iCarly : iGive Away A Car.

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Nevel had had a crush on Megan since their first common attendance of ‘Camp Opera’, a summer school for gifted old-fashioned instrumental musicians. As aforementioned, Megan mastered the oboe. Nevel’s instruments were the recorder and the piano. He was, on top of all, gifted with absolute audition, in addition to other extreme sensitivities. Megan and Nevel had not started being a couple until a bit later, though. This will be dealt with at some different point. Their musical abilities caused them to be chosen for the opening ceremony of the new academic year at their college. But before the solemn opening, Nevel had to accomodate in his new residence on the campus.

2.2 101 Huebscher Hall
Dustin Brooks, another freshman, entered his dorm, ‘101 Huebscher Hall’, for the first time. He was a bit tired. The rooms here were a lot smaller than ay ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. The latter had been Dustin’s boarding school, located in warm and sunny southern California. Dustin stumbled in, spotting his new room-mate, Nevel Papperman. He was consternated. Dustin had been a vigorous fan of iCarly for several years. He had no difficulties recogniosing ‘Public Enemy Number One’. He gasped. ‘Have you come to mmake Carly’s life even more miserable?’ Nevel coughed. ‘Who are you?’ Dustin introduced himself. ‘And I’m not going to allow you to bother Carly! Not as long as I’m alive!’ Nevel replied, ‘calm down! I am just a student. iCarly is dead, even without me.’ He had anticipated meeting one or the other belligerant fan of the web show on the campus, knowing about their excruciatingly high number. For Dustin, iCarly was not dead. He was always going to wear it in his heart, keeping it alive like a camp fire through the winter. He knew about the rather tough winters up here in Yakima Valley. It would not be easy for a boy accustomed to southern California. And Nevel’s presence gave Dustin the creeps, beyond any imaginable measure. This was by no means a good background for their start into their common life at ‘Yakima’s’. But neither Dustin nor Nevel were hitherto aware of Carly’s miserable situation. This might have changed their demeanour.

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2.3 Lunch with Megan
Nevel walked alone into the campus cafeteria. He spotted Megan Parker, his beloved one. During the last year, he had learnt to distinguish her infallably from Carly. He was thus not scared and jumped straight into her arms. ‘Hi sweetie!’ Megan grinned. ‘Nevel! Good to see you right now. We need to practise for the celebrations.’ Nevel nodded. He had seen that coming. Megan explained, ‘well, the admin wants us to play Gaudeamus Igitur.’ Nevel shrugged. ‘OK, that’s standard for opening an academic year, ain’t it?.’ Megan nodded solemnly. ‘Certainly. Too bad, some of the students are not in the mood for that.’ Nevel asked, ‘what do you want to say?’ Megan coughed. ‘Er . . . nothing . . . but OK. Carly is feeling miserable.’ Nevel shrugged. ‘I told her to rue the day . . . ’ Megan nodded solemnly. ‘I know. But not even you would have wanted her to end up like this.’ Nevel wanted to know the details. Megan sighed. Of course she had not got Carly’s permission to tell everyone about it. But Carly had not prohibited Megan from telling nevel in particular. Little wonder, she had not yet had any clue about Nevel’s and Megan’s relationship. Otherwise, Carly would have deemed Megan a backstabber of the uttermost deprecable sort and refused to talk to her again. Megan started talking about Carly’s pregnancy, and about Freddie’s and Sam’s demeanour. Anbd she had been right. Nevel was ready to throw up. This was nowhere near his taste of letting Carly rue the day. Hestarted sweating. ‘Sorry for Carly.’ Megan nodded. ‘May you imaginbe it? Freddie had been hankering after her for years, and then he gets her pregnant, and it was just for a bet with Sam?’ Nevel moaned, ‘Really. That’s evil. Freddie has always been attracted physically by Carly.’ Megan agreed. Nevel continued, ‘but that’s it: only physically. And he still is.’ Megan sighed deeply. ‘Probably. Sam, however, must have made Freddie better understood, her rudeness notwithstanding.’ Nevel agreed. But they decided to keep on hidding their relationship from Carly, at least for the time being. Nevel moaned, ‘the campus looks nice. But I have to share a dorm with a total fan of iCarly.’ Megan coughed. ‘Well, that was to be expected here in the state of Washington. Her fans are everywhere.’ Nevel sobbed. ‘But that one, Dustin, is from California, from some noble school named ‘Pacific Coast Academy’.’

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Megan panted. ‘I know that school. Great stuff! I would have loved to go there. But bear with it!’ Nevel sighed. Megan was worried about Carly’s fans. ‘There are two camps among them. One half are so-called ‘Creddiers’, favouring a relationship between Freddie and Carly. The rest of them are ‘Seddiers’. Thery favour a relationship of Freddie and Sam.’ Nevel had heard about that bloody war. ‘In aother words, the fans will wreak havoc upob being informed about Carly’s pregnancy and her choice, or Freddie’s choice, to refrain from raising the kid together.’ Megan fainted. ‘You’re so right. It must stay a secret.’ But it was impossible for anyone to hide Carly’s secret forever, wasn’t it?

2.4 Let the music play
The choir was collected in the main square of the campus of ‘Yakima’s’. The dean gave the sign for the musicians, including especially Nevel and Megan. Music filled the air. Megan decided to make the choir skip a few stanzas. She deemed the prais of the lust ogf life inappropriate for her cousin’s situation. Nevel agred with Megan’s decision. Many of the students wondered about those unanticipated omissions. But the celebrations went on as planned. Nobody dared to ask about the reasons for the changes. The dean’s speech was, as expected, long and boring. This was typical for opening days. Of course, Nevel could not ask each and every student on the campus about his affiliation with one of the camps, viz. ‘Creddiers’ and ‘Seddiers’. But he had at least to figure his room-mate’s inclination.

2.5 Student Party
Unaware of carly’s destiny, celebrations took also place at other institutions of the state of Washington, such as ‘Olympia Lawschool’. The students had organised a party for the next evening. Spencer was not in the mood of participating. As aforementioned, he felt too old for his fellow students’ company. Zoey Brooks asked him, ‘why don’t you join us?’ Spencer sighed deeply. ‘I’m too old.’ Zoey shrugged. ‘You would certainly be welcome, anyways. At least I don’t mind.’

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Spencer did not fear Zoey, but the anonymous masses. ‘Would yopu please not tell anyone outside the school about my status as a student?’ Zoey gasped. ‘OK, let’s see . . . you’re apparently too embarrassed for having decided to make something of your life, even at your progressed age . . . . well, I won’t spread the rumours.’ She did nopt understand Spencer’s embarrassment, though. Spencer explained, ‘Thanks, Ms. Brooks! See, it was not really my decision.’ Zoey looked puzzled. ‘What do you want to say?’ Spencer moaned, ‘it’s all my grandpa’s fault.’ Then he told about his background and his former life as a starving artist. Zoey sighed deeply. ‘OK, I like arts, too. In fact, I would also have loved to become a fashion artist. But mon and dad . . . bearwith it!’ Spencer shrugged. Zoey continued. ‘Whatever, I like being a student here, among fantabulous fellow students. And you should do the sdame, regardless of your age.’ Spencer wasn’t convinced. But he followed Zoey’s advice. On the other wise, he would blame and condemn her forever in the case of getting disappointed by the party. The fun could begin. Spencer wasn’t exactly the life of the party. But it would be better than shutting himself away in his loft for yet another night.

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Chapter 3 Signing Up
3.1 After the Party
The next morning, Spencer returned to school with a relentlessly spinning head. Zoey crossed his way. Spencer did not notice her appropriately. And then it was too late. Spencer stumbled and boyunced from corner to corner. Some students tried to catch him. But that was not easy. Zoey Brooks shook her head. Suddenly, Spencer’s but started burning. A few of the students squealed. Zoey looked around and grabbed a fire extinguisher. She used it correctly in order to kill the flames. ‘Phew! Where did this come from?’ Spenecer sighed deeply. ‘This always happens to me.’ Most of the students chuckled mercilessly. Spencer sighed deeply. Zoey covered Spencer’s disgusting rear end with a towel. ‘OK, that was sure entertaining. Yesterday, you’ve been so embarrassing with your belly rub dance.’ Spencer gasped. ‘What? I’ve learned it from my pal Socko. It’s cool.’ Zoey shook her head. Then she had to adjust Spencer’s trousers. This way, she discovered his socks. She gasped. Spencer wondered, ‘Hey! These socks are cool.’ He flailed with his arms. Zoey asked ‘and those socks are from your pal ‘Socko’? Right?’ Her voice was absolutely sarcastical.

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Spencer nodded. ‘Sure! He always sells me those things. And he has got a brother, Tyler. That one sells me suits. And then they have got a sister, penny. She invented the Penny shirts.’ Zoey choked hard. She removed Specer’s overcoat in order to take a look at his suit. Of course, she did not believe in his lies involving fictional friends like ‘Socko’, ‘Tyler’, and ‘Penny’. She knew very well about the true origins of the socks, suits, and shirts worn or mentioned by the overaged freshman. She had designed them herself during her life at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. ‘But how have those clothes made it into Spencer’s possessions? And why does he have to lie about them? He was hardly going to answer the straight way. What a strange guy,’ thought Zoey for herself.

3.2 Creddier Or Seddier
Nevel was still left with doubts about Dustin’s potential attitude concerning the infamous fanwar. He could not ask him downright without making him curious concerning Carly’s current situation. But he could not procrastinate the question forever and one day. Dustin was totally curious about Carly. He must have sensed something bad going on in her. But he could not do anything about it. This was sooner or later going to drive him insane. Nevel feared this possibility. It would have resulted in a fan riot. It was time for lunch. For aforementioned reasons, Nevel had to avoid any contact with Carly. This was not an easy task for students at the same college. Fortunately, Carly lived off-campus, reducing the probability. Megan helped, of course, by staying close to Carly as long as possible. Also, she kept on informing Nevel by means of secret text messages. She was perfectly acquanted with Carly’s regular schedule. Carly must have wondered about this activity. This was a ticking time bomb. Nevel was now most hurt by the fact of not getting to see Megan as often as anticipated during the breaks. Carly could have caught them together and started wreaking some insane havoc. Not even lunch could be taken by Nevel and Megan at the same time. Nevel entered the cafeteria after an appropriate message from Megan. Bow he had to hurry up in order to get back to his afternoon classes in time. He stumbled into some female junior. She introduced herself as Leann Carter1 . Nevel remembered vaguely that name. Leann Carter had — more than once — been elected ‘Miss Seattle’ during her tween years. But Nevel remembered one incidence. Leann had once been pushed down the staircase by one angry competitor.
1 from

iCarly : iWas A Pageant Girl

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And that enviar had been no other than Samantha Puckett. The pernicious onslaught upon her life notwithstanding, Leann had never said any bad word about Sam. ‘Let Him Who is Without Sin Cast the First Stone!’2 . Nevel wished to have been a bit like ecopacifist Leann. He was strong in faith, but did not approve of that stoic infiltration of christianity. Carly would have been able to forgive him years ago, saving him from this stupid hiding game. Nevel wondered about Leann’s potential suitability for the upcoming tedious task of mediating between ‘Creddiers’ and ‘Seddiers’. But for that avail, he would have had to fill in Leann into Carly’s situation. Was this really an option? Leann started talking. ‘Hey, I’ve seen your performance at the opening celebrations.’ Nevel grinned. ‘Erm . . . yeah?’ Leann continued, ‘you must be very gifted.’ Nevel smiled. ‘I’ve got the absolute audition!’ Leann gasped. ‘Hey! That’s cool! You know, I’ve been at various pageants. Often enough, I’ve played one or the other woodwind in the segment about talents.’ Nevel banged his head against the table. He had already heard her perform in local radio. ‘You must be upset about not having been chosen for the opening orchestra.’ Leann shook her head. ‘Not at all. I’m not all that good at that.’ Really, she was just too humble to admit to her masterhood. ‘In addition, I had been extremely anxious.’ Nevel nodded. ‘But we all may be anxious when performing before a bigger group.’ Leann sighed deeply. ‘There was another reason. There’s a new transfer student here at ‘Yakima’s’. His name is Zachariah Carter-Schwartz.’ Nevel wondered, ‘a relative?’ Leann moaned, ‘yea and nay. It’s a step-brother of mine. He came hereto upon my recommendation.’ Nevel nodded. ‘Many people choose a college following their friends’and family’s recommendations.’ Leann sighed. ‘That’s true. But in this case . . . ’ She blushed. ‘I’m totally in love with him. And he doesn’t know. He’ll probably laugh about it. ’ Nevel coughed. ‘He’ll rue the day for laughing! Until dystopia will he . . . ’ Leann gaped. ‘Hey! That’s nothing to be pronounced lightly.’ Nevel sighed. ‘Sorry!’ Leann calmed down. ‘It’s OK. See, I haven’t come to see him a lot during the last ten years. We’ve lived across the continent. But we both have always pitied animals. I’ve been helping out in some animal shelter for ten years, down in Seattle. Zach is a Ras Tafarian, a follower of Bob Marley.’ Nevel wondered, ‘the reggae idol?’ Leann nodded. ‘I’ve always admired his endeavour.’ She blushed and swooned. Nevel sighed. He thought, ‘Zach and Leann would be a lot of help in calming down the wicked war ablazing between ‘Seddiers’ and ‘Creddiers’. Maybe bringing them together will make them even more willing to do the dirt work?’ He chuckled silently, but with glee.
2 cf.

Gospel according to John, 8:7

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3.3 Internships
In the evening, Zoey walked past the bulletin board. Many lawyers from the region were posting offers for internships. Zoey signed up for won of them sounding most interesting. Spencer walked past Zoey and a few other female students of law. Zoey asked, ‘have you already found an internship for the fall break?’ Spencer yawned. ‘Hell, do I need one? I’m still all dizzy. Maybe I won’t even make it past the first 72 hours. Just like last time.’ Zoey shook her head. ‘Come on, you are really not that bad!’ Spencer was not so convinced. Zoey explained, ‘my brother Dustin is an undergraduate at a college in Yakima Valley. ’ Spencer gasped. ‘Carly, you know, my sweet little sister, is also studying in Yakima.’ Zoey smiled. ‘Not bad! So maybe we can visit them together, in one car, saving quite a few gallons of gas.’ Spencer shrugged. ‘Maybe!’ He wanted to see Carly, but he was not happy about the prospects of encountering his grandfather. Zoey continued, ‘so I’ve signed up with some experienced lawyer from Yakinma. His name is . . . ’ She looked at her mini cheat sheet. ‘Shay? Shay?’ She looked aghast. Spencer sighed deeply. ‘That’s my grandfather.’ He stomped his feet. Zoey moaned, ‘then he will as sure as hell choose you.’ She looked disappointed, Spencer shook his head. ‘Come on! Go there! He’ll see a decent student of law and realise: I’m a total loser and slagger. Then he will maybe send me off law school! Come on, do that!’ His voice was desperate and sarcastical. Zoey grabbed Spencer’s wrists. ‘No way! You are not that bad, and you have not got a reason for downing yourself like that. I’ll come with you to Yakima and take care of you. Don’t even dare to try to run away from your grandpa!’ Spencer twitched. He wondered, ‘why was Zoey Brooks so determined?’ But, in the end, his desire to see his little sister Carly again was strong enough to agree on a deal with Zoey Brooks. Both Zoey and Spencer wondered about Carly’s and Dustin’s first days. ‘They are certainly enjoying their undergraduate life a lot.’ they guessed unison. Too bad they were so wrong . . .

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Chapter 4 Elder Siblings In Town
4.1 Car Trip
Spencer had moved his butt ere the rise of sun. Now Saturday morning had broken. A few birds started twittering in the distance. Spencer’s car was rigged and ready for the trip to Yakima Valley. It had been his home for several years before going to law school fro the first time. Zoey Brooks had been in time, much to Spencer’s dismay. Both Spencer and Zoey were nervous. Zoey was a bit consternated. ‘You call that a car?’ Spencer sighed. ‘It’s not just a car, it’s a Sockomobile. I’ve assembled it from the junk yard, together with my pal Socko.’ Zoey moaned, ‘Socko here, Socko there . . . ’ Spencer’s car looked like a patchwork. It was rather a sculpture than a car, indeed. Spencer explained, ‘this work of art is the perfect combination of industry and esthetics.’ Zoey sighed and entered the car. ‘But is it a death trap?’ Spencer denied this. ‘It’s as safe as can be.’ Zoey moaned, ‘I hope so. You better don’t let me touch wash your car. This can’t go well. I’ve already trashed the car of my prep school’s executive chairman.1 We wanted to raise funds for a concert of Drake Parker, in case you know him, Californian kids of my generations worship him as the greatest rock idol ever.’ Spencer gasped and twitched. Zoey wondered, ‘is anything wrong?’ She tried to reanimate Spencer with a chest massage. ‘I’ve worked as a bay watch on Maui.2 . ’
1 in 2 announced

Zoey 101 : Spring Fling in Zoey 101 : Chasing Zoey

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Recovering Spencer moaned, ‘I prefer Hawaii over Yakima any day. Really. I do know Drake Parker. More than just that.’ Zoey was curious. Spencer admitted, ‘but don’t tell it anyone. We are cousins.’ Zoey’s eyes bugged out. Spencer started the engines and released the brakes. The rusty vehicle made its way into the dreamy countryside of Washington in the early days of fall. For Spencer, this was a home trip. The next weeks were going to rush past him. Winter days were not far away. Unlike Seattle and Olympia, Yakima would greet him in a white coat. Zoey was still worried abourt safety. ‘What if the bad state of the roads make the car crash in the middle of the land of nowhere?’ Spencer tried to calm Zoey down. ‘I do know the road, just as mypants’ pockets.’ The car was shaken violently. Spencer comment, ‘hole number one, I call it ‘Charly’.’ Zoey shook her head. Spencer had got a name for every hole. Zoey prayed hard for reaching Yakima in one peace, and even more for not needing anything located in Spencer’s trousers’ pockets. Spencer started telling Zoey stories about his time in Yakima. Later, Spencer had become responsible for Carly, and they moved to Seattle. But Grandpa Shay would almost have forced Carly to leave back to Yakima. Zoey remarked, ‘that would have definitely better for Carly!’ Spencer grunted, ‘what’s that supposed to mean?’ Zoey scratched her head. ‘Nothing really . . . ’ She whistled innocently. The car stumbled its way across the streets of rural Washington. And they almost reached their goal. Only two miles from Yakima, the ‘sockomobile’ saw it’s hindside ablazing, without a trace of a reason. Spencer and Zoey had to make the rest of the road on foot. But now they reached the traditional home of the Shays.

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4.2 Home Seet Home
Carly had already been waiting. It was a day off classes. Carly had decided to wait for Spencer. Megan, on the other hand, had been going shopping with her friends. Unbeknownst to Carly and Grandpa, Nevel Papperman was one of them. Grandpa was also around to greet his grandson. Zoey was totally worried. The accident on the road had not exactly left her outfit in a good state. Granted, Spencer’s was even worse off. Carly hugged Spencer carefully. He had expected her to jump into his arms. He thought, ‘what is wrong with my little sister?’ Old Shay wondered, ‘Spencer is that your girlfriend?’ Zoey went pale, shaking her head. Spencer gasped. ‘Hey, that’s Ms. Brooks, another wannabe intern. We decided to save on gas by making the trip together.’ Grandpa Shay banged his head. ‘Oh, well, I was expecting her as well by now.’ He shook hands with Zoey. The blond Mary-Sue excused herself for her spoiled outfit and talked about the accident. The grandpa shrugged. ‘That’s Spencer . . . ’ Carly added, ‘definitely!’ The old shark uttered, ‘OK, Spencer, I know you already. So may I start with Ms. Brooks?’ Zoey nodded solemnly. ‘I’m appointed with my bro Dustin. He studies over at ‘Yakima College’.’ The grandpa grinned. ‘OK, I hope it won’t last too long.’ Zoey shrugged and folllowed the shark into the noble mansion. Spencer was now left alone with Carly. He had already noticed something. ‘Carly, you appear to be a little . . . different!’ The young woman looked aghast. ‘Spencer . . . ’ She could not help stammering aimlessly. Spencer was now really worried. ‘Let’s go to some silent corner.?’ Carly nodded sadly. Spencer followed his little sister for a few steps, making sure to be not heard by grandpa, let alone by Zoey. Finally, Carly fessed up. ‘I’m . . . pregnant . . . ’ Spencer’s breath froze. He squealed, ‘How could you achieve that before me?’ He choked once more on his destiny of being an old batchelor.

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Carly deemed Spencer’s demeanour inappropriate. Spencer banged his head against a fence pole and let it hang low. ‘Sorry! So . . . who’s the dad? Freddie?’ Carly nodded sadly. Spencer asked, ‘does he already know? Will you marry? Mrs. Benson will not . . . ’ Carly shook her head. ‘I won’t tell him. And I certainly won’t marry the censored .’ Spencer shrugged. ‘Why so?’ Carly explaine dthe situation. Spencer was now really upset at the ‘nice’ boy next door. Carly started weeping at her elder brother’s shoulders. ‘Don’t tell grandpa! And not Mrs. Benson, either ...’ Spencer ran his fingers slowly through Carly’s long, dark, and smooth hair. ‘Why didn’t you tell me earlier?’ Carly didn’t want to answer. She just wanted it to stay unbeknownst to anyone as long as possible. Spencer regretted having let Carly hang out with Samantha Puckett. ‘She’s just a false snake.’ Carly nodded. ‘But Freddie never loved me to begin with.’ Spencer announced, ‘he will pay for this dearly!’ Carly wondered, ‘what are you up to?’ Spencer sighed. ‘You better don’t know!’ He sobbed bitterly. Carly had finally calmed down. Grandpa Shay was now done with interviewing Zoey Brooks. They showed up at the door of the mansion. Old Mr. Shay wished Zoey a nice visit to ‘Yakima College’ and her brother. Spencer asked, ‘grandpa, may I borrow your car in order to take Ms. Brooks to . . . ’ Zoey and the shark grunted unison, ‘no way!’ Spencer sighed sadly.

4.3 Shopping In Yakima
Megan and Nevel walked the downtown of Yakima. Megan felt urged looking for baby wear. ‘Carly has to keep it secret, so we need to store it somewhere else. Maybe in your dorm?’ Nevel gasped. ‘You think this a good idea?’ Megan shrugged desperately. ‘Sorry, it was probably as dumb as anything else imaginable.’ Nevel nodded. ‘You’re so right, honeybunny. OK . . . I will take that upon me.’ He shuddered with an uneasy feeling, however. ‘I’ve sent out some spies in order to get a list of all ‘Creddiers’, the main source of potential turmoil and mayhem, for future reference.’ Megan grinned. ‘Now we are secret agents . . . ’

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4.4 Dustin fesses up
Dustin and Zoey had lunch in the cafeteria. Dustin wondered about Zoey’s internship. The blond Mary-Sue replied, ‘old Mr. Shay is OK not as crazy as some other male of the family.’ Dustin grunted, ‘Spencer is cool!’ Zoey shrugged. ‘Probably. But this doesn’t help him much. Alas, I get along well with the old shark, but Spencer will probably not find an internship elsewhere. I don’t really want to be the cause of a family tragedy.’ She sobbed. Then she wondered about Dustin’s days here at Yakima. ‘Have you found many new friends?’ Dustin sighed deeply. Zoey continued, ‘and what about girls? Did you see your secret crush?’ Dustin nodded. ‘But only from distance. I don’t dare to fess up to her.’ Zoey sighed. ‘Being honest would be best.’ Dustin shivered. ‘The ‘Creddiers’ will tear me into smithereens when finding out. And there are so many of them.’Zoey wondered about that technical term. Dustin had to explain it, admitting to Carly Shay as the target of his crush. ‘They have only lynched Carly’s former crush, Adam Moretti, at a fan meeting.3 ’ Zoey’s eyes bugged out. ‘Lynched? Those evil censored .’ Zoey felt the need of protecting her little brother, just as in the good old times. But she had not got any idea as of how to proceed. Bothering Spencer with that problem would have been a possibility. But was it a nice idea? Zoey had to think about it.

iCarly : iStart A Fanwar The surname is taken from another character by same actor in a third-party owned movie.

3 cf.

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Chapter 5 Years Ago
5.1 Zachariah Carter Schwartz
The weekend was over. Another week had begun at ‘Yakima College’. Nevel Papperman had finally found time to take care of the case of Leann Carter. He tracked down Zachariah Carter Schwartz in the cafeteria and sat down by his table. Zach was really new here, inspite of being a senior. ‘I like the air of Yakima. Soon, it will be winter. Pure white snow, not the dirty mixture of snow, oil, and dust of the industrial belt.’ Nevel shrugged. ‘I hate germs more than that, though.’ Zach sighed. ‘OK, my real reason for making it to the state of Washington is my high school girlfriend Geena Fabiano1 , though.’ Nevel gasped, thinking for himself, ‘This will break Leann’s heart.’ Zach told more about Geena. ‘We went together to school at ‘Rocky Road’. During eighth grade, we became a couple. But she moved away before her junior year of high school, to some place somewhere near Seattle. For me, Yakima and Seattle looked pretty close. Thus I followed my step-sister’s recommendation. She should be around here, somewhere.’ Nevel nodded. ‘Leann, right?’ He was still consternated. Zach nodded. ‘I have got to thank gher for many things. Too bad my mother never allowed me to visit Leann over the summer break. It had been a very dirty divorce, all those years ago. Nobody wants to talk about it. I could have found Geena more easily. So I take another shot at it.’ He showed Nevel a picture of Geena. That one was already six years old. But Nevel’s perfect rote memory did not let him down. He had seen Geena before. She had been faking Carly Shay for the eyes of Spencer.
1 this

star sidekick from Unfabulous is identified with same actress’s cameo in iCarly : iLook Alike.

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The latter had not allowed Carly to go to some event with brutal jocks of the worst sort. Nevel remembered the session of Carly’s web show with the faked Carly. He could have helped Zach to find Geena. But did he want to? According to Nevel’s intuition, Leann was the way better girlfriend from Zach. Geena is just hot. Zach’s and Geena’s attraction, inspite of having been friends for many a year, could not be but physical. Geena must be really shallow. But Leann and Zach are soulmates. I have to make Zach find out about this. So maybe I shgould get him to find Geena Fabiano, just in order to make him see this truth? Zach kept on talking about the old times at ‘Rocky Road’. Nevel took notes in his mind. Hed had to report the tricky situation to Megan. And he had to prevent Leann from breaking down when hearing the newws about Zachariah Carter Schwartz and Geena Fabiano.

5.2 Geena Fabiano
Megan and Carly were back at their room after classes and some time spent with friends on the campus. Carly had started turning more and more nervous. She was haunted by sweat attacks. Those had never occurred before. She even started showing signs of asthma. Megan had to try heard in order to let Carly keep her secret. Carly had not suffered from fits of asthma since elementary school time.2 . Now she could not go to a medic without risking grandpa to find out. Medications against her problems needed to be chosen carefully in order to prevent a danger for her baby. Carly had already thought about contacting Quinn Pensky, the surgeon of Samantha Puckett’s mother. That was a very unconventionakl medic, and not even twenty-five years old. But Carly would have had to bother Samantha Puckett with that. And the latter should by no means have heard about the baby, at least not before it was born. Megan helped Carly adjusting the inhalator. ‘Carly, do you remember your fake lookalike from that session? Spencer had not allowed you to go out for something dangerous, and you needed a fake . . . ’ Carly sighed. ‘You’ve been in California, too far away . . . ’ Megan nodded. ‘I know. That isn’t the point. Her name was Geena Fabiano, right?’
2 cf.

iCarly : iWant To Stay With Spencer

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Carly nodded solemnly. ‘Wow! You really remember those things? Wait! It wasn’t even said in the web show!’ Megan chuckled. ‘Some birds have twittered.’ Carly was afraid of ‘twittering birds’. Those little monsters could spread news about her pregnancy like wildfire and provoke further mayhem between ‘Seddiers’ and ‘Creddiers’. Megan continued, ‘really, her boyfriend from middle school or high school times, somewhere far away, is now a student here at Yakima here at ‘Yakima’s’. Maybe she would like to know.’ Carly gasped. ‘Oh, that would be totally sweet.’ Megan grinned, able to hide her mischief. ‘OK, do you know how to contact her?’ Carly sighed. ‘Without alerting Fredfart Benson?’ Megan sobbed, thinking ‘that problem just had to be . . . ’ But Carly remembered something, ‘Geena had been up to going to ‘Seattle Art’. She’s a passionate beautician and fashion designer.’ Megan smiled. ‘OK, all we need to do is to check for her in there.’ Carly nodded solemnly. ‘The grandpa of my school pal Gibby is a retired hairdresser. He is now a honorary teacher at Seattle’s vocational colege for beautician arts.’ Megan chuckled. ‘You mean shirtless Gibby?’ Carly nodded solemnly. ‘Yeah, that one!’ Megan smiled. ‘He won’t go straight to Fredward and Samantha and . . . ’ Carly sighed. ‘I don’t hope so.’ Megan moaned, ‘OK, we’ve got to risk it.’ Carly looked up Gibby’s current address. She had not seen him since graduation. Gibby had been rejected by all colleges because of not wearing a shirt. He was probably working as a model for beauty classes, getting himself stained and mutilated all over his shirtless body. Megan saw Nevel’s intuition confirmed. Beauticians and fashion freaks were one shallow bunch. Megan hated especially a certain Caitlyn Valentine from Los Angeles. That hyperstupid girl had once been responsible for making Megan’s mask for a concert. And she had turned Megan into a painted monkey. She had been talking incessantly about cute nothings instead of concentrating on Megan’s face. It had been Megan’s first concert common concert with Nevel after their mutual declaration of eternal love. It should have been a moment of greatest glory, not a dumb joke. This had made Megan particularly angry. There was absolutely no way for Megan to ever forgive that perverted bimbo wench. So there would not be much of a competition for Leann. Even Carly was going to understand that with ease.

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5.3 Spencer breaks
Zoey and Spencer were back from Yakima. Their return from there had even been a bigger mess. It taught Zoey thoroughly to refrain from relying on Spencer’s driving skills in any sense. Spencer’s mind had been clouded by his fears for Carly and her baby. Zoey noticed something wrong with him during the classes about the history of Roman law. But of course she could not know about Carly’s situation. After classes, Spencer slouched out on the other students and banged his head thrice against an oak wall. Zoey moaned, ‘Spencer Shay, what’s wrong?’ The sculptor did not answer. Zoey grabbed him and pulled him into a calmer room. ‘OK, you’ve been way off since Yakima. Is something wrog with your grandpa?’ Spencer shook his head. Even that action was totally tedious. The Spencer squealed, drummed his fists against a table, and fell on his face. Zoey grabbed his suit. She made him lean against the next wall. ‘Spencer Shay, we can’t let you walk out on the streets like this. What happened in Yakima?’ Spencer sobbed bitterly. ‘Carly is pregnant.’ He hated himself for haing betrayed the secret. Then he talked about Carly’s story concerning Freddie. ‘And he has never loved her. It was just a midsummer folly.’ He almost puked on Zoey’s attire. ‘Your sister?’ Zoey concluded, ‘she is probably not in a stable relationship, ready to marry the baby’s father next month, and stuff. And given Dustin’s statements, her ‘fans’, especialy those ‘Creddiers’, will wreak an insane lot of havoc. They had already excuted Mr. Moretti for messing with ‘Creddie’.’ Zoey allowed Spencer to weep at her shoulder. She was not comfortable, given Spencer’s age. But she should not have cared for real. ‘You must now be strong for Carly. I had to be strong for my brother many a time. And I had to be strong for . . . forget about that.’ Spencer sighed deeply. Zoey’s shoulders appeared him so comfortable. But Zoey had refrained from telling Spencer about her best friend’s, viz. Hollywood star Lola Martinez, pregnancy, a terrible mess making Zoey still squeal on and off. ‘Carly has still got many unconditional fans, even here at Yakima.’ Here, she did not nmention Dustin. But maybe she should have done so? She panted heavily. She had to talk to Spencer about the impact of crazed fans. And she felt compelled to talk about this to Grandpa Shay, pretty much against Carly’s will. So, what would Zoey do?

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Chapter 6 Fall
6.1 Climate Shock
Days passed in silence. Summmer was finally gone. Fall had broken into the valley of Yakima. Carly Shay also felt like totally fallen. But that was a different topic. Frosty days in October were not too rare. But the days were still mild. The surrounding mountains would soon appear in white. This was completely different from southern coastal California. Dustin Brooks had spent most of his life at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ near Los Angeles, or, more porecisely, at the dreamy beach of Malibu. The loss of the warmth of that region was going to be a great problems during the following months. In Los Angeles, Dustin could walk out on the campus in the mornings with fairly loose clothes even during the winter months. Frost was totally unusual. But up in Yakima, Dustin was forced to be careful to not underdress. Zoey had made some extra fashionable socks and tops for him. She admonished him to wear them. Megan was from San Diego, even more to the south and closer to the Mexican Border than Malibu. She had got the same problems with accomodation to the rougher climate of Yakima. At some days, she missed badly the warmth of California. Even for kids from the lower, coastal regions of Washington, such as the metropole of Seattle, there was a large need for accomodation. Seattle’s winters were replete with hard rains, but fairly deprived of snow and frost. Now, Carly was not going to deem this a big loss. She hated rain. And she hoped for the snow. The white pride was going to be a good cover for her moral losses.

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6.2 Looking for Geena
6.2.1 Agent Chuck

At the same time, Nevel Papperman was on his quest of finding Zachariah Carter Schwartz’ girlfriend — or maybe ex-girlfriend — Geena Fabiano. Zach still deemed her a big loss. As aforementioned, looking for the shallow-minded wench was not easy. Nevel knew Gibby, of course. But he did not really trust the shirtl;ess freak. He needed some more reliable informer. His first bet was Chuck Chambers. This had been Carly’s and Spencer’s main enemy within ‘Bushwell Plaza’. By means of a phone call, Nevel had ordered Chuck to spy after the shirtless creep. Chuck was an expert for actions of sabotage and havoc. Nevel was now awaiting Chuck’s first report. And there was a call from his henchman. Chuck and his girlfriend Melissa Robinson1 had actually been able to track down Gibby in his grandfather’s attic.


Nicole Bristow

Gibby was now really working as a test guy for future hairdressers. His grandfather was no longer alone in his barber’s shop. He had got a few interns and employees. The most promising wass one Nicole Bristow from Kansas, a good old friend of Zoey Brooks. She was the favourite new employee of the grandmaster of northwestern hair styling. But, worse than anything else, she was an uncontrollable bimbo wench of the most annoying sort. Her favourite catch were cute boys. According to Nicole, there had been infinitely many of them at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’, together with a beach and pools, ‘and have I already mentioned the cute boys?’ She had left ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ prematurely because of having been overly obsessed with boys. This disease had never ever changed. Kansas was totally devoid of cool and cute boys. It was full of disgusting dweebs. And Seattle was not all that much different. Nicole was particularly abhorred by the one and only true Charles Cornelius Gibson. Too bad she had to cross his ways on a daily base. Alas, Gibby ws suffering from a one-sided crush on Nicole.
1 Missy

from iCarly : iReunite With Missy

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His grandfather would have liked Gibby to marry the future owner of his barber’s shop. He was thus all in favour of Gibby’s crush. But he could not rush it. Nicole also mourned the loss of southern California’s sunny weather. She hated Seattle’s endless clouds and rain. ‘The weather up here is not cute at all!’



Chuck had told Nevel a lot about teh situation over at old Gibson’s, but he had no clue concerning Nicole’s feelings. Nevel concluded, ‘OK, Nicole is a horrible bimbo. You may easily squeeze some information about ‘Seattle Arts’ off her.’ Chuck imagined sadistically squeezing Nicole into s giant juice press and squishing her like a bunch of ripe strawberries. Funnily, Nicole’s dad ran a softdrink factory in Kansas. He sold equipment to many juice bars, such as ‘Groovy Smmothie’ in downtown Seattle, Freddie’s and Sam’s favourite place to hang out after work, and also ‘Juice’, a place near Zach’s and Geena’s home. But neither Nevel nor Chuck knew about that. Nevel suggested, ‘simply get your hair cut in Gibson’s barber’s shop!’ Chuck sighed. ‘It isn’t that long.’ Nevel moaned, ‘I can’t get mine cut again. I need each hair I can in order to stand through the winters of Yakima. It may be frosty soon enough.’ But Chuck had got a better idea. ‘My sister Gia2 has got much longer hair.’ Nevel grinned and clenched one of his fists. ‘Excellent! You know where to send her in order to get her hair cut.’ Chuck grinned with excruciating glee.



Gia was sitting in grandpa Gibson’s barber’s shop. She insisted in Nicole as her haircutter. Megan had organised a microchip for her, allowing her to communicate in a wireless mannner with her brother Chuck. The toxic gnome was hiding in the toilets. Gia had no clue concernig Chuck’s plans. But this was nothing unusual. She was easy to use for her brother’s purposes. Nicole had sarpened the blades of her scissor and let then cut clean through the hair of ‘Miss Bushwell Plaza’. Like most hairdressers, Nicole was exorbitantly chitchatty and careless. Thus Gia got had no problems in getting her to talk casually.
2 cameo

in iCarly : iBeat The Heat

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Nicole announced, ‘I bought this pair of scissors from a certain Jade West from a school named ‘Hollywood School for the Professional Performing Arts’. She threw it after me after having messed up her haircut.’ Gia chuckled. ‘Jade must be very impulsive.’ Nicole nodded. ‘But the boys in California are so cute, oh so cute.’ She sighed deeply. Gia had got a hard time getting Nicole to talk about ‘Seattle Art School’, though. But the bimbo finally decided to open her mouth. And she even mentioned Geena Fabiano. ‘She is in the cafeterai in the back room each lunch, and she goes to ‘Groovy Smoothie’ after classes. It seems to be really popular. My dad supplies them with juice presses.’ Gia grinned. ‘How good for him! For a few details, I give you the number of a cute boy, but he’s already a bit older, let’s say, thirty-two.’ Nicole didn’t mind. For the number of a hot guy, she gave away everything in her possession. Gia rendered unto Nicole the number of Spencer Shay. The law school revenant had, once upon a time, had got a crush on Gia. But she was bored by him. Maybe Nicole had got better luck? She did not only receive his number, but also a picture. She rubbed it against her face. ‘Wow! He’s really cute. So cute!’.

6.3 Zoey’s friends
Spencer sat alone in the cafeteria of ‘Olympia Law School’. His head was hanging low. Zoey walked in. ‘Hi, Spencer. Still no decision from your grandpa?’ Spencer shook his head. ‘Next week, I guess . . . ’ Zoey sighed. ‘OK, let me see.’ Spencer wondered, ‘why did you have to come to Washington, anyways? The weather here sucks.’ Zoey moaned, ‘you’re probably right. I hate the rain. I totally miss the weather of southern California. I could as well have gone to London with my parents. Their weather doesn’t suck worse.’ She sobbed at Spencer’s shoulders. Spencer gasped. ‘Oops! What are we doing?’ Zoey gasped and broke up. ‘Well, really, it is because of my high school friend Quinn Pensky. She is a Seattle native.’ Spencer shrugged. ‘I see.’ Zoey had missed her friends badly during undergraduate times. ‘So we have decided on shared housing in the suburbs of Seattle. One of my other good old friends, Nicole Bristow, works here, as well. She is in the beautician business of some sorts. She talks way too much.’ Spencer shrugged. Zoey continued, ‘too bad, my other best friends, Dana and Lola, can’t be with us.’ Spencer sighed. ‘I miss out on many old pals, and on my whole life as a freelance artist. It’s such a big loss, just like my deceased goldfish.’ He started sobbing at Zoey’s shoulders. ‘Oops!’

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Chapter 7 Shockwave
7.1 Finding Geena
Chuck Chambers was dressing as a janitor in order to sneak more easily into the building of ‘Seattle School for Practical Arts and Beauty’. It was a really big hall. Many students walked forth and back. The teachers were sometimes a bit strange. One of them was Ms. Fielder1 , a woman in Spencer’s age. Chuck Chamgers looked a t his cheat sheet. Geena Fabiano was supposed to be in the classes of Ms. Fielder. Chuck adjusted his denim overall. He grabbed his bucket and his broom. Ms Fielder wondered, ‘hey! The class rooms should have been already polished by this time.’ Chuck replied, ‘I know! But I better check it twice. The nightshift is not to be relied on. My Californian teacher from custodian college, Buddha Bob2 ’ Ms. Fielder gasped. ‘Oops! If things are like this . . . ’ She was shocked about the stupidity of the nightshift. Chuck entered the classroom. Most of the students were already present. There was also Gibby. He was not a student, he probably served another purpose. Chuck looked at the corner. ‘Aw, a hair!’ Gibby yelled, ‘that’s my first chest heir! Sam Pucket always pulls it loose!’ Chuck explained, ‘hair is full of germs!’ He took some squirting can filled with detergents. ‘Here we go!’ He took care of the infected spot.
iCarly : iMust Have Locker 239 cameos throughout Big Time Rush He is identified with same actor’s recurring character in Ned’s Declassified SSG, custodian Gordy. , taught me not to trust the nightshift. He used to delegate all his work to them. But he got always definitely disappointed.
2 various 1 from

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Ms. Fielder talked to the syudents. ‘Today, we are are discussing the subject of body painting. You will all contribute to a new painting on Gibby’s chest and his back.’ Gibby smiled. Ms Fielder continued, ‘I’ve considered your last works. Some of your toenail paintings were perfect, some were not so good. As usual, Geena Fabiano’s work was the best.’ The class applauded fanatically. Geena stood up and bowed unto the applauding audience. Ms. Fielder continued, ‘This is good so. Next week, Harry Joiner3 ’ Geena stammered, ‘Jo . . . Jo . . . Jo . . . ’ Miss Fielder nodded. ‘Joiner, the greatest pop artist ever. Geena, would you please start painting the stars and stripes onto Gibby’s chest?’ Geena noded solemnly. She took a medium-sized paint brush and dunked it into a pot of blue colour. Chuck remarked, ‘oops! This paint needs to be made germ-proof first.’ Ms. Fielder gasped. ‘What? Germ proof colour?’ Chuck boomed, ‘do you know how many kids at American schools die each year from infected paint?’ Ms. Fielder shook her head, stammering, ‘No clue!’ Chuck continued, ‘no glue, either. Glue is harder to be turned germ-free. Oops, Ms. Fabiano has got a nasty paint stain on her top. We need to remove it in the janitor’s closet!’ Ms. Fielder was consternated. ‘OK, a woman needs to do what a woman needs to do, sometimes . . . in Geena’s absence, I will tell you a bit about the history of the colour pink.’ The students moaned. Geena sighed and followed Chuck. Ms. Fielder started teaching lessons.

7.2 In the closet
The janitor’s room was fairly dark. Chuck fumbled at Geena’s outfit, pretending to removve the stain. ‘OK, Geena, you certainly remember Zacharia Carter Schwartz from ‘Rocky Road’, don’t you?’ Geena gasped. ‘Zach?’ Chuck nodded. She had not thought much about him as of recent. But deep inside, she had missed the good old days at ‘Rocky Road’ to no end. Chuck explained, ‘Well, Zach is now at ‘Yakima College’, an hour’s trip from here.’ Geena was now hell bent on seeing him again. ‘But It could hurt him.’
3 from

iCarly : iHeart Art will be among us and evaluate your works.

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Chuck grubnted, ‘what?’ Geena said, ‘I’m no longer into him as a girlfriend. I’m into a student here at ‘Seattle Arts’, viz. Stuart Laserbeam4 . I just want to see Zach again as an old friend.’ Chuck thought, ‘that’s good for Nevel and his plans . . . very good indeed!’ He rendered a sheat with the informations concerning Zach’s whereabouts unto Geena. ‘Have a nice time in Yakima!’ He ran away. Geena gasped. ‘But my stain! Your bucket! Your broom!’ She shrugged and walked back to her classes. But the shock was still sitting deep inside her.

7.3 Dustin gets informed
Dustin Brooks was sitting alone in his room. He had been seeing Carly every day, at least at lunch and during breaks. But he had never found the courage to talk to her. He was not only too excited, he was also afraid of ‘Creddiers’. He did not want to end up like Adam Moretti. Nevel came back. ‘Megan has to leave the campus earlier today.’ He sighed. ‘Do you weant to see a movie? Spider Man III 5 .’ Dustin shook his head. Nevel sighed. ‘OK, you still can’t do anthing because of Carly . . . ’ Dustin nodded. ‘I even get sick in the morning.’ Nevel shrugged. Dustin wondered, ‘do you think Carly would go skiing with me once there’s enough snow i the mountains?’ He was apparently working on a written invitation for his idol. Nevel gasped. ‘That would be . . . a very bad idea.’ He gasped. Dustin wanted to know the reasons for that. Nevel stammered, ‘it’s too dangerous for Carly’s . . . ’ He went pale. Dustin glared at his room pal. ‘What’s going on?’ He grabbed him, shakinghim vigorously. Nevel closed and barred the door. He closed and obscured the windows. Dustin was excited, Nevel told him, ‘OK, don’t tell it anyone . . . Carly is pregnant!’ Dustin was shocked to no end. He dropped like dead onto his bed. Nevel admonished Dustin, ‘I should not know it. Nobody should. Carly will kill everyone talking about it. So don’t tell anyone, or . . . ’ Dustin wondered, ‘who is the dad?’ Nevel answered, ‘Fredward Benson. But she’s not happy about that.’ He taught Nevel about the situation between Freddie, Sam, and Carly. ‘Freddie is not supposed to know about his baby. ‘Creddiers’ should not know. They would hate Carly for not marrying Freddie and being happy ever after. ‘Seddiers’ should
4 Stu 5 fantasy

from True Jackson VP : The Gift cartoon owned by Marvel

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not know. They would hate Carly for being pregnant with Freddie’s baby and try to force Carly into an abortion. That’s really an evil situation.’ Dustin was still consternated. Nevel left him now alone. He was awaiting a more detailed report from Chuck Chambers concerning the encounter with Geena Fabiano. He had already received a short message. Nevel also needed to inform Zach.

7.4 Nicole at Olympia Law
Nicole worked at Gibby’s grandpa’s in shifts. Today, there was no work in the morning. Nicole had talked Zoey into takling her along to ‘Olmpia School for Law’. ‘One of my uncles is a lawyer, or he was so before going depressed, robbing gas stations, and so on. I’ve always wanted to see a law school from the inside.’ Zoey had been totally astonished. ‘What a surprise . . . ’ Nicole had never cared about anything but cute boys and hairstyles. Zoey had granted her wish, though. Of course, Nicole only wanted to see Spencer. But Zoey did not know zilch about the whole connection. The two young wommen walked the large corridor of the law school. Zoey explained everything. Nicole remarked, ‘some of the guys need their hair cut. Do you think . . . will your headmaster mind me opening a hairstyling booth over here?’ Zoey glared at her second best friend. Nicole sighed. ‘OK, I will do that in front of the building.’ Zoey explained the tass of the various rooms. ‘This is only one of several libraries. They serve various purposes.’ Nicole grabbed her friend by the wrists. ‘Egad!’ She pulled her away. ‘I hate books! And I hate nerds! They are not cute. They are so ugly. I could still kill you for forcing me into a date with that Miles Brody6 . He’s even more uncomely than Mark del Figgalo.’ Zoey croaked, ‘hey, that’s been eight years ago!’ Nicole grunted, ‘so what? Dweebs are dweebs, always and ever.’ Zoey sighed deeply. Finally, Spencer crossed their way. Nicole was surprised by his cuteness. She squealed. ‘Spencer!’ Then she jumped at him.
6 from

Zoey 101 : Robot Wars

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The overaged student of law gasped. The impact of Nicole’s surprise somersault pressed Spencer against the wall. Nicole boomed, ‘you’re so cute!’ She went on and on. Spencer had got a hard time recovering from the bimbo attack. Zoey was not little surprised by this action, either. She pulled Nicole away from Spencer and tried to calm her down. Then she helped Spencer standing up again. ‘Sorry for my friend. She is a bit impulsive.’ Spencer wondered, ‘just a little bit?’ But he could not deny liking it to some degree. Zoey asked Nicole, ‘how do you know Mr. Shay?’ Nicole replied, ‘Gia Chambers, one of my customers, told me about him.’ Spencer shuddered. ‘My ex-girlfriend from . . . like . . . three years ago.’ Zoey shrugged. ‘Her loss . . . oops!’ Nicole begged Spencer for a date. Speechless Spencer nodded solemnly. He was just unable to contradict. Zoey was not exactly pleased by Nicole’s and Spencer’s dates. But why was this the case?

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Chapter 8 Forgotten
8.1 Restless Dreams
Carly Shay’s nights were more or less plain terror. Her relentless dreams dreams made her head turn round and round like an old record, and one with a scratch. Those ‘scratches’ caused her to wake up over and over again, preventing her from getting her well-deserved sleep. But of course she could not simply take some sleeping pills. Most medications useful for adults were poison for her baby. In addition, her grandpa may have found them. Megan suffered an insane lot from Carly’s creeping insomnia. She was made wake up, too, by Carly’s restless dreams. Apparently, Carly remembered each and every word she had said to Fredward Benson during the last seven years. The ‘creep next door’ had started hitting on Carly back then and ever since got her caught in a game of tease and run, culminating in the horror trip from last summer break. For example, Carly had offered him to share her lip gloss with Fredward, making him think of a mouth kiss. Fredward’s heart had started missing the beast, making him swoon. He closed his eyes. Carly, alas, had thereupon scraped some lip gloss off her lips and smeared it onto Fredward’s.1 Freddie had been left with total disgust. Even more, Carly Shay had been flirting with a great variety of guys right in front of Fredward Benson’s eyes, just in order to annoy him and make fun of his absurd jealousy. Freddie had probably deserved that treatment, at least on and off. But Carly may have gone boldly ourt of her way. The first example had been one Ben Huebscher.2 .
1 cf. 2 mentioned

iCarly : iOwe You in iCarly : iKiss

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Carly had kissed him just in order to be able to tell Freddie about her first kiss, making him sickeningly jealous. Or had Carly just made up the kiss in order to annoy Freddie? She did not really remember that detail. It would not have made a real difference. Then there was tall blond rake Jake Crendle3 . As opposed to common belief, Carly had never liked him. She had just used him in order to pinish Freddie for his obnoxiously obsessive habit of hitting on her. She was disappointed when seeing Jake make up with his former girlfriend, but not for jealousy. She had just lost her only tool to tortuyre Fredward with. Later, there was Griffin Benjamin4 , a really bad boy. Carly had not only used him in order to make fun of Freddie, but also in order to make fun of her ‘responsible’ elder brother, Spencer. But then the ‘bad boy’ had turned out as just childish. He had been reveiled himself as a collector of ‘peeweee babies’, rendering himself useless as Carly’s tool for punishing Fredward and Spencer. Now he was happily married to one Valerie5 , a totally disgusting girl hated by Carly and all other honest ones. Then there was Nate Garner6 , the Gary Stu of ‘Ridgeway’. But he turned out as already engaged to Mary-Sueish Rebecca Berkowitz7 . Many other boys followed, such as speedtalker Austin8 and brainless Cort9 . It would take years to talk about all those guys and a few not yet mentioned. Her only serious interest, Adam Moretti, had been brutally destroyed by Sam and a bunch of ‘Creddiers’. For several years, Carly Shay had forgotten about many of those events. But these hitting and running nightmares brought them all back in the most horrible manner. Megan was a witch. She was knowledgeable about a variety of spices and herbs. So, maybe some herbal medicine would have helped Carly without potentially damaging the baby? Megan thought about a few teas. But the ingredients did not grow in Washington, let alone Yakima Valley. Megan had to go and look for them. Also, as a gifted oboist, Megan was able to play lullabies for her cousin. But those only worked for a few hours. Megan would have had to repeat the ritual in the middle of the night. There had to be done something.
iCarly : iLike Jake This also goes for Stephanie Javers and all events associated with them. Jake is identified with same actor’s character James garrett from Zoey 101. 4 Griffin from iCarly : iDate A Bad Boy. The suurname is from same actor’s character in a third-party owned movie. 5 from iCarly : iWill Date Freddie She is also identified with a liar girl Valerie mentioned in iCarly : Drippin. 6 from iCarly : iSpeeddate 7 mentioned in iCarly : iSaw Him First and iSpeedDate 8 from iCarly : iSpeeddate 9 from iCarly : iHire An Idiot
3 from

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8.2 Dustin’s Nightmares
Nevel’s situation was not much better than Megan’s. He was confronted with his sleepless roomie Duustin. The smart guy was in a terrible state since knowuing about Carly’s pregnancy and about Fredward’s abusive relationship with her. But there were also Dustin’s lost and forgotten memories. Only a few hours ago. Dustin had told Nevel about his former relationship with Samantha Puckett, formerly known as Trisha Kirby.10 . For Nevel, this was still sort of a shock. It was somewhat comparable to Carly’s usage of Griffin. Dustin had wanted to annoy his overly protective elder sister, i.e. Zoey. But Samantha had never taken the whole thing serious. She had cheated on him at the next possible occasion. But his nightmares still confronted Dustin with his mistake of old. The stupid event had occurred like eight years ago. Dustin had always wondered about Carly and Sam ever having come close. Maybe it had just been in order to fool and spite Spencer? A few months later, Dustin had given up on bad girls for good. He had learned thoroughly from his mistakes with Trisha alias Samantha. He had also been disappointed by Logan Reese, an evil playboy and Dustin’s former example to live up to. Dustin had then dated Sandy Baldwin11 . But he got bored. For over a year, a few minor crushes had kept him alive until seeing Carly’s web show for the first time. But Dustin’s reall concern and source of nightmares were not his own past, but rather his worries about Carly’s situation. Dustin did not love Carly any less than before. He didn’t mind her being pregnant and later on raising a baby from another guy. But this did not make Carly necessarily like him back. Dustin would have felt really creepy. He did not want to abuse Carly’s misery in order to boast with his love for her. Nevel’s sleep was thus interrupted on and off by Dustin’s flaming nightmares and screams. Things could noit go on like this. Nevel had to do something about it. Like Megan’s oboe, his recorder12 would have soothed Dustin’s mental pains, but not for long.
Zoey 101 : Bad Girl The story identifies Trisha and Samantha 11 from Zoey 101 : Lola Likes Chase. 12 from iCarly : iGive Away A Car
10 from

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Nevel had finally got an idea. In Seattle, there was a paranormally gifted young woman named Malika Chandler13 . Nevel remebered a few of Malika’s miraculous deed. The little medium was proficient in telekinesis, telepathy, telesuggestion, telehypnosis, and stuff like that. Nevel thus saw a possibility of letting Malika provide Dustin and probably also Carly with some restful sleep. But he needed to find and contact her first. Likewise, ‘Magic’ Malika was probably expecting a favour in return. What would that be?

8.3 Age Gap
Zoey Brooks had to think about her almost forgotten times at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ with her little brother Dustin. The little bugger had grown out of her hands. Zoey deemed Dustin certainly a good potential father. But he was still so incredibly young. The same was valid for Carly. At least she was not a bad girl like her foul friend Trisha, Dustin’s first relationship. This connection still filled Zoey with dismay and mental pain. Dustin’s situation somewhat interferred with Zoey’s efforts to keep her own feelings sorted out. Zoey had got no feelings for Spencer. He was much older, viz. by ten years. Jhe could hardly have had feelings in turn for Zoey. But whuy did Nicole’s and Spencer’s dates hurt her? Nicole and Zoey were of the same age. So the problems were the same. Zoey should have been happy for her best friend, Nicole. And she had encouraged Spencer to go out again and not hide from the world due to being embarrassed by his status as a law school freshman in his thirties. So, what would have to be done?

appears in iCarly : iSpeeddate. The surname is from same actress’s character in a third-party owned movie.

13 Malika

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Chapter 9 Similar
9.1 News From San Diego
The days out at Yakima were already very cool. The mountain tips already appeared in white. According to rumours spread by Zachariah Carter-Schwartz, there hadf also been a few snowflakes down in the city. But the ground had been too warm to let them survive. Megan and Carly rerturned from the camous. There was a letter in Megan’s mail box. Carly grinned. ‘From San Diego!’ Megan moaned. ‘I hope not from the boobs.’ Boobs was a term deployed by Megan Parker in order to designate useless guys, in particular her brother Drake and her step-brother Josh. Carly sighed. ‘So what?’ She didn’t have a lot of troubles with them. But she hated admitting to being related to Drake for another reason. Drake had been a real celebrity, and especially a big jerk, player, and heartthrob of the girls, originally in southern California only, but now everywhere. For example, Samantha Pucket had been infatuated to no end by Drake Parker. She owned an inflatable Drake doll and was had been doing unspeakable stuff to it since middle school. Josh, on the other hand, was a reckless dork and dweeb. But he was not as dumb as Drake. Alas, he had decided in favour of his step-brother Drake in a conflict between the latter and Josh’s fiancé Melinda Crenshaw. Now he was a forever grumpy loser. It was all Josh’s comeuppance. Megan went pale upon reading the letter. Carly looked at her cousin. ‘What’s going on?’ Megan moaned bitterly, ‘Drake and Josh are coming for a visit over Thanksgiving.’

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Carly was surprised. She had expected Megan to return home to San Diego during that week. What was going on?

9.2 Lost Home
Only in the evening hours did Megan talk about the situation. ‘San Diego has stopped being a home . . . for me, but even for the boobs.’ Carly was surprised. Megan had not mentioned that earlier. She had avoiding exciting Carly over the top. In addition, her absence from San Diego had also removed her from the latest development over there. it had not been a loss for Megan, though. She was not a ‘happy family girl’. Carly knew that. But she still wondered about the reasons. Megan reported, ‘Mom and Walter have finally broken up.’ Walter was Josh’s father, and thence a step-father for Drake and Megan, or, rather, he was no longer in that ‘office’. The marriage between Walter Nichols and Audrey Parker had always been but a ridiculous farce of the most worthless sort. Megan had gone through Audrey’s divorce at a very early age. She had never come to see her biological father. Even Drake had not been much older. Audrey had had several relationships ever since. Megan had hated all of them. Those men had been creeps, all of them. Walter had been a total mess from the very start. Only a hysterical pregnancy had pushed the two of them to marry in the first place. This was a mirror of Cary’s situation. Here, a real pregnancy did not make Carly marry Fredward. But this unlikely relationship was finally over. Inept weather rreporter Walter Nichols had now moved in with his colleague Bruce Windchill1 . Carly was not sure what to think about the visit of Drake and Josh. Basically, they were two people more to hide her situation from. They would hardly come to the campus. That would have been a plain terror. Due to Drake’s general popularity, there were many fangirls of him on the campus.
1 mentiuoned

a few times throughout Drake & Josh.

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And the jerk of jerks would hardly have hesitated bathing in the mass of them. The kinship between Drake and Carly would have caused those troubles feared by Carly during all the years of being silent about Drake. Many girls were both fangirls of Drake Parker and fans of iCarly, be it ‘Creddiers’ or ‘Seddiers’. They would have cause an insane amount of mayhem and turmoil on the campus. Drake was dumb and insensitive. He would not have been able to take any care of Carly’s feelings during that days. Josh was more sensitive. But he was also very hysterical and easily estranged by unusual situation. He would hardly have approved of Carly separating from Freddie inspite of the baby. Even worse: Some Josh’s best friends were ‘Creddie’ shippers: Eric Blonowitz, Craig Ramirez, and Gavin Mitchell2 . They had been participating at a webicon with iCarly. Craig had been so obnoxious, he had to be removed by security guards. He was probably the greatest of all possible dangers for Carly in her current situation. Ultra-nerd Eric appeared more or less as a mere appendix to Craig. Gavin Mitchell was the oldest of the gang. And he was no other than the new fiancé of Auudrey Parker. He had been hitting on her since several years3 , and he was finally successful. Even worse, he was alos the uncle of Shannon Mitchell4 , a girl with a former onesided crush on Freddie Benson. He had also got a very smart nephiew named Logan Mitchell. But maybe Shannon had given up on Freddie long since and was now a dangerous ‘Creddier’ or ‘Seddier’?

9.3 Trisha Kirby
As aforementioned, Dustin had been dating Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby back at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. At the very same time, Freddie had started hitting in his perverted and decadent manner on Carly Shay, or — as he called it — ‘barked up her tree’5 . Nevel pondered a lot about the strange symmetry. Samantha had tried to pervert and corrupt Dustin. Fredward had always tried to do the same to Carly. Nevel wondered, ‘you have been a fan and viewer of iCarly for quite a few years. Wasn’t there a session where Sam claimed to not have yet kissed anyone?’ Dustin nodded solemnly. ‘Been there, seen that.’ Nevel gasped. ‘You could have protested and made Sam look like a liar, like the liar she has always been and will always be until the end.’
in iCarly : iStart A Fanwar equated with same actors’ respective recurring rôles in Drake & Josh Drake & Josh : The Storm 4 from iCarly : iWin A Date The surname is only found on iCarly Wiki. 5 according to a statement by Freddie in iCarly : iTwins
3 cf. 2 cameos

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Dustin sobbed and started weeping. Would fessing up to his kisses with Sam have changed Carly’s life ever since? Nevel panted heavily. He did not want to hurt Dustin this way. Now there was even more need for the intervention of Malika Chandler, the queen of hypnosis and of telekinesis and clairvoyance. Nevel whispered, ‘Dustin, you must have had reasons for shutting up. And you could not know about the things to come.’ Bathing in his own tears, Dustin stammered, ‘I did not want to go through the short an painful relationship with Sam again, not in fronto of millions.’ iCarly had not yet had that many viewers back then. But the fears had been there. Nevel nodded solemnly. ‘No boy with a trace of honour would want to be found even dead in Samantha Puckett’s arms.’ He shuddered for disgust. Dustin had got other reasons. ‘I did not want to endanger the existence of the web show. And it was so sweet from Sam to do something for Freddie.’ Nevel, of course, did not share this. The premature end of iCarly would have been one of his sweetest dreams. But he knew about Dustin’s property as a staunch fan of the show. Thus he could not have been surprised. The show had comne to a natural end, anyways, three years after Freddie’s and Sam’s embarrassing online confession. Thus Nevel had no reason to be mad at Dustin for that. Would Carly’s life have really taken another turn back then in the case of Dustin fessing up and dismantling Sam’s lie? Finally, Nevel received a message from Malika Chandler. The witch would come over during Thanksgiving Break and help both Dustin and Carly to find some restful sleep. Nevel could hardly await that moment.

9.4 Zoey Sidelined
Zoey’s uneasy feeling towards the dates between Nicole and Spencer grew more and more. She was really worried about Spencer’s sister and her awkward situation. Nicole just distracted Spencer. But maybe Spencer just wanted that. Zoey deemed that irresponsible, especially due to her experiences with Lola’s pregnancy. So she had to stay tuned.

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The sibling swap, viz. Carly and Dustin while also Zoey and Spencer, would have seemed awkward to excessively simpleminded people. But Zoey would not have had problems with that. She liked being in control of the extended family. Thanksgiving days were no longer far away. There was no way for Zoey to celebrate with her parents, still stuck in London. So what would she do?

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Chapter 10 Begin Of Thanksgiving Week
10.1 Snow Keeps Falling
An inch of snow was covering the campus of ‘Yakima College’. It was the first snow of the year not melting right away. Dustin ’s eyes bugged out. Granted, he had already seen snow in his life. The Sierra Nevada of California held a lot of snow, too. But Dustin had made it there only in passing by. Now he was totally excited. Snow flakes kept falling. Dustin squealed, waking up Nevel. The freak’s eyes bugged out. ‘Dustin?’ Alas, he could not dissuade him from running out on the campus and roll in the snow. Nevel shook his head. ‘Dustin must have gone really crazy through Carly’s pregnancy. Strangely, he started acting weired before even knowing about it. He even had got some preggie nausea!’ Fortunately, ‘magic’ Malika Chandler would show up this weekend and get Dustin to calm down. So there was still some hope left.

10.2 Malika In Town
Nevel was waiting with his bicycle at the bus station. The snow had caused him quite a few problrms. But Nevel had thought of that possibility beforehand. He had bought a pair of special tires. But he needed to be very careful. Many students were departing for the Thanksgiving holiday. But not everyone had that possibility.

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Dustin would go to Seattle, but only over the very day of Thanksgiving, not the whole week. So he was still around for two more nights. And there was Malika’s bus. Nevel panted heavily. According to rumours, Carly had not exactly been a friend of Malika, at least back at high school. Was there a reason for her to trust the queen of magics? Malika was an Arabian term for queen. Alas, some people erroneously related ‘Malika’ to the word ‘malicious’, such as Samantha Puckett. A gentle wind was now blowing. Snowflakes kept on dancing. But there was not much more new snow. Nevel shook hands with Malika. He told her to sit down on the back of his tandem bicycle. Malika shuddered a bit. They had to hope for getting away with that.

10.3 Watching Out
Carly was now ready for the arrival of Drake and Josh. But that was just relative. She was totally worried. Megan called Drake and Josh ‘the boobs’. Carly better hid her current situation from them. Mehgan had also announced the very short visit of a friend from Seattle. Carly was curious. Did she know that friend? Grandpa told Carly to help him preparing the room of the boys from San Diego. We would probably have refrained from doing so in the case of knowing about Carly’s state. But he could not know. Megan would help too. But now she was on the campus. She was of course with Nevel and had to hide this from Carly. But that was not much of a problem. Carly understood Megan’s attempts of avoiding Drake and Josh as much as possible.

10.4 Arrival Of The Boobs
Finally, the worthless guys from southern California arrived in Yakima. They had not seen much snow in their life, either.

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It was their first time of driving a car on a road covered partly with snow. Josh accused Drake of having demonstrated a totally careless driving style. ‘Everyone knows: You must be very careful drivving on snow!’ Drake did not really care. Grandpa Shay rebuked Drake severely. Carly huggled Drake, but more carefully than usual, for the obvious reason. Drake took his guitar from his car. Josh moaned, ‘fortunately, I’ve got the convertible roof repaired last week. Drake did not want to believe in the possibility of snow in the mountains up here.’ Grandpa Shay sighed. He would have preferred Josh as a grandson. Unfortunately, Josh was not blood related. And now Audrey Parker, born Audrey Shay, had trashed useless Walter Nichols. The latter had foretold dry weather along the whole Pacific coast for the whole week untik Thabnksgiving, He was such a poor excuse of a weather forecaster. Bruce Windchill was the way better option to believe. But now it was too late. Audrey was again on the prowl. But she wanted to be left alone over the holidays. Grandpa Shay was very sad about this. But he had to accept it. Drake was lucky to be able to make it to Yakima over Thanksgiving. As a rock star of nowadays global renown, he was urged to make tours everywhere. And his next professional trip was to goold old England. Grandpa Shay remarked, ‘one of my future interns has got parents in London.’ Drake gasped. ‘A hot girl?’ Grandpa Shay was way too old to talk about this. Josh poked Drake deftily, making him choke. To Carly, Drake’s talk about potential girlfriends was even more painful. Drake had always been a ruthless player, trashing girls after two years or so. He had probably already got some of his former girlfriends pregnant. And those poor things had not had the guts to talk about this. Usually, Carly would not have thought much about Drake’s badness. But since the perverse mistake with Fredward Benson, she was turning more and more sensitive. Finally, Megan arrived. She was followed by no other than Magic Malika. The queen of magics walked in and shook hands with Carly. Megan announced, ‘for unbeknownst reasons, Carly has been a bit off course during the last weeks.’ Grandpa Shay sighed. Inspite of not knowiung the reason, he had noticed a bit of Carly’s fairly strange demeanour.

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Carly trembled. She had not yet had much reason to trust Malika. Megan announced, ‘Malika Chandler is an expert for hypnosis. She will teach Carly to mesmerise herself.’ Carly sighed for relief. Malika was just going to instruct Carly. It was still all left in Carly’s hands. Carly smiled. ‘OK!’ She panted heavily.

10.5 Sleepy Eyes
Malika and Carly were left alone in Carly’s room. The queen of magics started giving Carly a sheet containi poems. ‘Reciting them may help you a lot. But you must find one you’re most comfortable with.’ Carly sighed deeply. ‘Have you ever liked Freddie?’ Malika shook her head. ‘Freddie is a stubborn materialist, He has refused to believe in the evil curse of Consuela, and so on. In other words, I just wanted to try to convince him into accepting the possibility of things not deemed possibly by vulgar human wisdom.’ Carly muttered, ‘he is such a creep! He only wanted me physically. He has never loved me.’ Malika nodded. ‘Megan told me.’ carly wondered, ‘how did Megan know you?’ Malika could not mention Nevel. But she did not really lie by mentioning certain forums on the interweb. Indeed, Megan had heard there about Malika. Nevel just used to be already familiar with the nleading witch of Seattle. Carly wondered, ‘that’s a foreign language. Looks like Spanish. But it ain’t.’ Malika nodded. ‘It’s Portuguese. a poem by Fernando Antonio Nogueira Pessoa1 , a master of witchcraft from the last century. My master, Kreuftlva2 , has studied witchcraft in his school.’ Carly sighed. ‘Cool!’ It was now time for her to try the trick.

10.6 Dustin falls asleep
Nevel had translated the Portueguese poem’s words for Dustin. Dustin nodded solemnly. Then he started reciting. Nevel reminded Dustin, ‘you must breathe rhythmically, go with the flow of the poem.’
was a real poet of this name, 1888 through 1935 in Lisbon and South Africa. Here he is a bit distorted. 2 from True Jackson VP : True Parade
1 There

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Dustin panted. Then he tried again. A few minutes later, his eyelids dropped down like a guillotine’s blade. Dustin was no longer awake. Nevel sighed for relief. He covered Dustin with a blanket. The hopes had come true. The same would probably work for Carly. Nevel, on the other hand, had to hope for getting to see Megan on and off during the next days. It was not a given. Megan would have to sneak out or invent excuses. She was still unable to talk about Nevel to her relatives.

10.7 Keep On Hoping
Nicole Bristow had just left for the airport. There was no direct flight to Kansas from Seattle Airport. Nicole Bristow would have to change planes in Denver, Colorado. Zoey had watched her leaving. Spencer took it fairly easy. But he was not at wease with the following days, seeing his departure for Yakima in order to spend Thanksgiving. At least he was happy to see Drake and Josh again. ‘Grandpa will disappointed by my ‘progress’ at law school.’ Zoey remarked, ‘as he should be! Your dates with Nicole keep you from learning. And your sister could use some more moral support from you.’ Spencer sighed. ‘Who made you my conscience?’ Zoey shrugged. ‘Sorry, I just can’t help it.’ Spencer admitted, ‘I’m sorry! I probably need that. Arrgh!’ So there seemed to be quite some hope left for Zoey Brooks. The next days, Zoey would spend with Quinn, and later also Dustin. She panted heavily.

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Chapter 11 Thanksgiving
11.1 Dustin and Zoey
Unlike in Yakima, rain kept whipping the windows of most towns of coastal Washington. Zoey was glad to be able to spend her Thanksgiving day with Dustin. The apartment would have been totally empty without Nicole. Quinn was almost always in her secret laboratory in the basement. She was also appointed with a fellow geek woman named Melinda Crenshaw. Zoey had never seen her. Or so she believed. She pondered about Quinn’s potential reasons for making us avoid each other. Due to her obsession with caring for Dustin, Zoey had grown up really fast. But now she appearwed to be responsible for almost everyone, including some guy older than herself by ten years. Dustin helped his sister preparing the Thanksgiving meals. A few days off classes meant, at least for Zoey Brooks, time to think again about the last weeks. Dustin noticed that. But his mind was also horribly occupied by Carly’s situation. ‘What’s wrong with Nicole?’ Zoey wondered, ‘there’s something wrong with her? How would you know?’ Dustin replied, ‘you keep on thinking about the word ‘Nicole’.’ Zoey shuddered. How could Dustin have known that? She admitted, ‘OK, Nicole is dating Spencer Shay, not this week, though.’ Dustin choked. ‘Apparently not this week.’ Zoey sat down. Finally, she admitted, ‘Spencer should really better care about pregnant Carly instead of making out with that bimbo.’ Dustin gasped. ‘You know that Carly is . . . ’ Zoey wondered, ‘You know it?’

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They glared at each other. Zoey huggled Dustin. ‘So, you are still into Carly? And she doesn’t know?’ Dustin nodded sadly. Zoey rubbed softly Dustin’s head with her fingers. ‘So, you are sincerely ready for a girl with someone else’s baby?’ Dustin moaned, ‘not any girl. It’s Carly!’ Zoey nodded slowly. Dustin told Zoey about Magic Malika and her trick of hypnosis. ‘It works very well! I may finally sleep whole nights through.’ They were wondering about Spencer’s Thanksgiving day.

11.2 Spencer in Yakima
Once more, Spencer’s rust monster had been creeping all the way from Olympia to Yakima Valley. The student of law halted his bunch of loose screws in front of the mansion of his grandad. He had not seen Drake Parker and Josh Nichols in ages. Grandad Shay opened the door in order to receibve his stray grandson. But Drake and Josh really stormed out in order to hug him to the ground. Unfortunately, the ground was frozen and a bit slippery. Drake floundered and keeled over. Josh stumbled and landed right on top of him. Megan Parker watched her worthless brothers and started chuckling mercilessly. ‘Boobs!’ Carly had to be very careful. She had decided to stay in the house while waiting for her brother. She definitely did not want to endanger her baby’s life and health by slipping on the ice. She had been able to catch some restful nights as of recent. Malika’s recipes had worked miracles. This had relaxed Carly’s situation. Carly could now watch Spencer’s foolish attempts of helping Drake and Josh back onto their feet. The spaz only achieved stumbling as well. In addition, the snow around them was set on fire. That was not really unusual for him. Malika had not only helped Carly to find some sleep. On her way out, she brought little things in Old Mr. Shay’s mansion to float aloft. Drake and Josh had pondered a lot about this. For Josh, Malika must have been an illusionist like Doheny1 .
1 from

Drake & Josh : The Great Doheny

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Josh had on and off tried to perform some dilettantic illusionist ‘magics’. But he had failed miserably. Now he wanted to learn malika’s secrets. Of course, Megan knew about the imopossibility of this. ‘Boobs can’t do that, minds you!’ Josh glared in a very disapproving manner at his step sister. In any case, he had been keeping about the possibility of Malika’s trick. He had also started talking about it. Drake was annoyed by Josh’s incessant talk. But now the three of them were still lying on the icy ground. Grandpa Shay shook his head. ‘Boys! This was not possiuble in my generation. I can still do this . . . ’ He crossed the ground safely, walking on two hands. Then he dragged the guys into the mansion, one by one.

11.3 Zach’s Question
Leann Carter was now in Seattle with her mom. Zach Carter Schwartz had not had the time to return to the East coast without using a plane. And planes polluted and poisoned the air in a very bad manner. For that reason, an ecopacifist like Zach had always refused to cross the continent by plane. He was thus stuck in Yakima over the winter break. This was not very funny. Granted, Nevel was around, too. He could easily have retrurned to seattle for a few days. But he hated home and family. Thus he preferred spending Thanksgiving at the college. There was a Thanksgiving celebration at ‘yakima College’. But Zachariah Carter Schwartz, as a vegetarian, could not stand the abominable stench of fried turkey and other food based on violence. According to Nevel Papperman, likewise, all holidays celebrated by the greater society were a priori foul and hypocritic. ‘Mankind is only celebrating its on corruption and perversity. They laugh and rejoice in their folly. Sweet appears to them thingstruly made of most bitter poison. Those foolish mobs will not recede from their limbs in peace, but in dismay and despair,’ reasoned nevel. ‘They will rue the day until the times of dystopia.’ Nevel thus preferred to stay alone during these days. He would have been with Megan, but he was still obliged to keep it a secret, for the aforementioned reasons. He saw only Leann Carter able to change that. And for that avail . . . Zach had still got a hard time getting over the definite loss of Geena Fabiano. But Nevel reminded him, ‘you were never meant to be, anyways. She’s an animal abuser and stuff. So, why bother anyways?’ Zach banged his head against the wall. This hurt, bith inside and outside. But Nevel’s logics was infallible.

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Zach wished to have been able to think this way at some earlier stage, best back at middle school. Now he was up to reflecting all those stupid years ago. He could have slapped himself bleeding, over and over again, for having fallen for the wrong type of girl back at middle school. Nevel remarked, ‘it’s not too late for you to find someone really worthy of yourself.’ Zachariah Carter Schwartz nodded sadly. ‘Too true, but who could that be?’ Nevel whistled inn ocently. ‘You know one of those girls for quite a few years already.’ Zach looked puzzled. He pondered forth and back. Nevel gave him one further hint. ‘She wears part of your family name.’ The Ras Tafari choked. He thought ‘is Nevel talking about . . . is that even possible . . . I have never ever seen that . . . ’ Nevel poked Zach lightly. ‘Do you need some more hint?’ Zach cringed. The thought appeared too shocking and mindstabbing. Zach broke down. ‘You are really talking Leann, aren’t you?’ Nevel grinned triumphantly. ‘Dern straight, Zach!’ Zach had still got a hard time swallowing it. He had always considered Leann as a relative. But, for all ends and purposes, they were not related. Nevel held one of Zach’s wrists. ‘Leann has been waiting for you for several years already. Unlike Geena, she has always genuinely cared about you. Geena is a shallow wench. Leann shares your interests for ecology and pacifism wholeheartedly. And you know that very well.’ Zach twitched all over the place. He had not yet had to admit to liking his step sister. This does rarely ever happen, anyways. Nevel suggested, ‘call her!’ Zach sighed. Nevel walked away. ‘So, have a nice day!’ Zach remained alone in the lounge. There were other kids. But they did not care about thoroughly shaken Zachariah Carter Schwartz.

11.4 At The Shay mansion
Megan Parker’s cellular pohone rang. She picked it up. ‘A short message, just a short message!’ She did not tell the sender. Of course the message was from Nevel Papperman. It consisted of only one code word, referring to Zach’s situation. Megan beamed brightly.

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The others shrugged. Drake knew about Megan having a boyfriend from her orchestra. But he had not yet figured any details. Grandpa Shay distributed the meals. Carly could not eat everything in her situation. Megan managed to let her only eat things good for the baby, without letting the guys notice anything. Especially Josh might have noticed. Drake would hardly have cared. Grandpa Shay had been very rough to Spencer. He had reflected a lot about the situation of Spencer. He had decided to give the internship to both Spencer and Zoey. He had not talked about it. But he was all in favour of Zoey as his future grandaughter in law, an dnot the bimbo wench currently dated by Spencer.

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Chapter 12 After Thanksgiving
12.1 End Of Break
Thanksgiving break had come to an end. Many students of any school had achieved recovering a bit from the stress of the fall classes. But for some of them, this was not really easy. Nicole Bristow was finally back in the state of Washington. Zoey greeted her heartily. But she was not without a jealous gleam in her eyes. Fortunately, Nicole Bristow did not really get it. She just lamented piteously about Kansas, the state of boredom and ugliness. ‘I miss California. The boys over there were cute. They were so cute. Have I already told you about the boys in California?’ Zoey moaned, ‘Yes, you have done so.’ Nicole beamed. ‘Cool! But Spencer is cute, too! Totally cute!’ These words hurt Zoey a lot. For Nicole, Spencer appeared to be just one more cute and bubbly boy. But he deserved much better than just that, at least in Zoey’s point of view. Was Zoey Brooks really able to forgive her ‘best friend forever’ that usurpation of Spencer Shay?

12.2 Leann and Zach
It had not been easy for Zach to accept that even as his step sister Leann could be his dream partner. For Leann Carter, a dream of ten years had thus finally come true. And this had been down to the continued efforts of Megan Parker and Nevel Papperman. Leann was thus clearly inclined to help them with their issues. First, it was necessary to reconcile Carly and Nevel.

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Thereafter, ‘Creddiers’ and ‘Seddiers’ needed to be beguiled to some extent in order to make life easier for Carly. They had to hurry up. Carly’s tummy was no longer all that far away from bulging visibly. By then, the horrors of the fanwar would have to be gone or oppressed vigorously. The latter was hard to achieve. Megan could not hire an army of security guards for Carly able to smother fan riots with all brutal might.

12.3 Spring Concert
Thanksgiving was just gone. The weather would become a bit rougher during the next month. But many students at ‘Yakima College’were now already looking forward to spring. This was because of the annual spring party. During Thanksgiving break, Carly Shay had asked Drake for a favour of some sorts: The spring party needed some good music. And Drake was certainly able to provide good music. Well, Megan Parker was not really agreeing with that opinion. But she liked it too. The difference was simply the following: Megan had to listen to Drake and his band’s rehearsals at all possible day time and night time during her life in San Diego. The walls in her mansion had simply been much too small to suppress the noise. This had not been exactly pleasant. And it was one of the reasons for Megan to be unable to forgive Drake and Josh, alias ‘the boobs’ all the years ago. But now she had to hope for Carly’s forgivenness for having lied to her for months. Those were not really lies, maybe. She just had not mentioned her relationship with Nevel Papperman. It would have changed the climate between the two alike-looking cousins from normal to unbearable. But now we come back to Drake. He had got quite a few experiences with giving concerts at school parties. One of his earliest concerts had been at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’.1 . There he had come to know Zoey Brooks. Drake had totaklly got the hots for Zoey, but he had lost her out of sight.
1 cf.

Zoey 101 : Spring Fling

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Her sidekick Nicole had been unbearable and struck fear into Drake’s heart with her obnoxious boycraziness and bimbo demeanour. Drake was not yet aware of Zoey’s current life and whereabouts. Granted, Zoey Brooks had been mentioned on and off by Spencer during Thanksgiving week. But Drake had not been convinced of the identity of both girls. Alias, with the passage of the days, he could not avoid considering that possibility. Spencer had mentioned girls named ‘Nicole’ and ‘Zoey’ in one breath. This combination was not a daily one, neither here in the state of Washington nor back in good old California. Drake had got to investigate. Josh, still stuck in his eager search for ‘Magic’ Malika and the secret of her tricks, tried to calm him down. ‘Zoey was only one girl of many. All of your girlfriends had been. And Zoey was not even that, just a wayside acquaintance.’ Drake objected, ‘but she was hot!’ Josh remarked, ‘so was Lucy Nash2 , Christine Richardson3 , Carly Brimmer4 , and so on. And what did it give you? Two weeks at most.’ Drake shrugged. ‘Who cares?’ He was still a terrible player and dandy. Josh had to give up. Unfortunately, not all of his ex-girlfriends had yet forgiven Drake’s permanently jerkish demeanour. How would Drake Parker proceed? Carly was still keeping her kinship to Drake a secret. Thus they had to be very careful. But the mood on the campus was already totally crazy.

12.4 Nicole On The Prowl
Nicole and Spencer were finally reunited again after Thanksgiving break. Nicole told Spencer about her boring holiday. Spencer nodded solemnly. ‘Drake and Josh were cool. Buit I’ve kept on missing you.’ Nicole remembered, of course, the visit of Drake to ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. She had truly been up to somersaulting him, but got whistled back by Zoey. She was now totally looking forward to the spring concert. But this would not be easy.
Drake & Josh : Girl Power Surname is from same actress’s rôle in athiord-party owned movie 3 cameo in Drake & Josh : The Storm 4 from Drake & Josh : Who’s got game? Surname is taken from same actress’s rôle in some third-party owned show.
2 from

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Nicole was busy in Seattle, at least most of the time. This would possibly keep her from going to Yakima for the concert. She needed especially to convince her boss, old Mr. Gibson. The sucker was already almost blind. But he could still notice her absence otherwise. And he was hardly going top forgive her deed. He was at least still able to cut other people’s hair, just relying on his other senses. And the customers would complain. Maybe an invention by Quinn Pensky would be somewhat helpful?

12.5 Leann’s Visit
Carly Shay was finally home from the classes of the day. Megan was still on the campus. Unbeknownst to Carly, she was hanging out with Nevel Papperman. Suddenly, the door bell rang. Carly suspected Megan back. But it was Leann Carter. Carly was surprised. Granted, she had seen leann on and off on the campus. But she had never expected her visit. Leann shook hands with Carly. They started talking about the time of their first encounter at the occasion of a beauty pageant. Samantha Puckett had won that one. But she had been rightfully disqualified posthumously because of bribing and blackmailing the umpires. But finally, Leann had to come out. ‘Nevel has sent me.’ Carly went pale. Leann calmed her. ‘Hey! He doesn’t want to hurt you anymore. Just know that.’ Carly told Leann about the many occasions at which Nevel had tried to undermine the web show. Leann shook her head. ‘OK, he was opposed to the web show. But that is history. You should not care about it anymore.’ Well, unfortunately the fans were still there, and they did pose a great problem due to the fan wars. Leann promised to talk to them. ‘You should not worry too much. Think of the baby!’ Carly had hardly been able to di anything else during the last months. Now she sighed deeply. ‘Probably.’ So, Leann suggested Carly to forgive Nevel. ‘He is worried about your baby, as well. Sort of like a remote relative, kind of.’ Carly looked puzzled. ‘How would I be related to . . . Nevel?’ Leann had to come out with it. ‘Your cousin megan . . . she is . . . ’ Carly growled, ‘Megan Parker? How dare she . . . ’

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Leann sighed. ‘She loves Nevel, period. Of course it has to do with their music and stuff. Megan plays the oboe, and Nevel plays the recorder and the piano, and so on . . . ’ Carly was still puzzled. She would have freaked out to death in the case of most othe rpossible messangers. But Leann Carter’s presence had got something soothing. Carly lay down on her bed. She started reciting Malika’s poems. She needed them in order to keep herself calm. Leann had to go again. Megan would arrive any moment. And Carly better stayed relaxed. It would not be easy for her to face Megan, after all those devastating news.

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Chapter 13 Dandy Drake
13.1 Drake and Josh in Olympia
Drake Parker and Joshuah Nichols had arrived in Olympia. They had stayed over night in ‘Parker Nichols Hotel’1 in Seattle. They remembered there own awry attempt of opening an inn at home in San Diego.2 But what was the exact connection between that hotel in Seattle and the families of the Parkers and the Nichols? In any way, the hotel was in a misterable, run down state. This strangely mirrored the state of the desolate relationship between Audrey Parker and Walter Nichols. The hotel would for sure break apart within the next months. A few years ago, it had been recommended to Drake and Josh by their friends Eric Blonowitz, Craig Ramirez, and Gavin Mitchell. The latter teamn had stayed in this inn duiring their visit to the webicon. Josh had already wondered about that name back then. Now he was even more eager on coming to understand that connection. But he was even more eager on figuring the secret behind ‘Magic’ Malika’s tricks. Drake Parker did not care at all. He was just looking forward to seeing Zoey Brooks again. Josh conjectured, ‘hey, Malika might do this the way of Henry Doheny. He made our pants disappear.’ They had now reached the foyer of ‘Olympia Law School’. Drake swooned. Zoey was not the only pretty law school student. This was a great thing for Drake. Within just ten minutes, he had gathered some dozen of girls’ phone numbers. Spencer Shay came along, greeting Drake Parker and Josh Nichols. ‘So, you’ve really made it here?’ Drake scratched his head. ‘Probably. How else could we meet here?’
1 mentioned 2 cf.

in iCarly : iWant To Stay With Spencer Drake & Josh : Parker Nichols Inn

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Joshuah twitched. He would have considered going to law school, too. But after his disappointiung student teaching assignment3 , he had got a hard time applying for decent schools. Drake boasted with the number of girls’ phone numbers. Spencer shook his head. ‘You will leave Olympia in just a few hours. You will barely have got enough time to call all of them.’ Drake shrugged. ‘Their bad. Anyways, I’ve practised this. I can talk to half a dozen of babes over cellular phone at the same time.’ Josh twitched. ‘You haven’t got that many cellular phones with you.’ Drke shrugged. ‘So what? I just need to borrow some. Hey! You’ve sure got one on you!’ Spencer nodded solemnly. ‘Of course. It is here . . . no, it is there . . . ’ He fumbled all of his pockets over and over again. But this was gor no avail. Spencer’s cellular phone could not be found. Spencer sighed deeply. ‘Wait, I know! I’ve lost it last night during a candle light dinner with Nicole. She’s really . . . ’ Drake knew Nicole Bristow a little bit. He had been really somersaulted by her bubbly demeanour. Forgetting your cellular phone in such a moment was not quite inconsequential. Zoey Brooks came along. ‘Hi, Spencer, I’ve copied the lectures about Introduction To Civil Law for you. You had skipped them . . . again.’ Spencer replied, ‘what? I never skip classes, except once . . . twice . . . ’ He was counting silently with his fingers. But he had only got ten of them. Josh twitched. ‘Grandpa won’t really approve of you skipping classes.’ Spencer sighed. ‘I know!’ Drake had been consternated. He had not got any problem recognising Zoey Brooks on site. Like everyone, Zoey Brooks may have changed superficially during the last decade. But for Drake, that was not a problem. The playboy of ‘Belleview’ may have got the intellectual capacity of an amoeba. But there were two things he could not forget: Rock music tunes and pretty girls’ faces. Even after decades he would still be able to tell girls apart only encountered during his tween times. Zoey recognised Drake, too, but only because of his omnipresence in the mass media. This was part and parcel of being a big media star, especially a rock idol. And now nothing could stop Drake. ‘Hey, Zoey babe! We could go out some time soon. Call me! Or give me your number. Then I may call you back.’ Zoey was disgusted. ‘Drake Parker! You are really such a perverted jerk! I regret having called you for a caoncert to ‘Pacific Coast Academy’, back then . . . ’ She would hardly ever have been that brash. But she had by now only got eyes for Spencer and was thus inclined to rebutt other boys all angrily.
3 cf.

Drake & Josh : Megan’s New Teacher

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This was not too hard to understand for anyone knowing about Zoey’s secret feelings. But . . . the feelings were still mostly secret. Drake gasped. He was not accustomed to getting turned down that fast. Drake poked Drake. ‘I told you! Be more careful!’ He tried to excuse Drake’s perverse demeanour. Zoey sighed. Spencer thanked Zoey for the copies of her lecture notes. Without Zoey’s help, he would already have failed miserably in the mid term tests. And ‘Olympia Law School’ had only accepted him on probation, taking his past into account. Grandpa Shay would hardly have survived this. He had got no understanding for Spencer’s repeated insane escapades. He had tried hard for many years to talk some sense into his stray grandson. Getting him back to law school had been connected with unearthly efforts. A fatal heart attack would have been the inevitabole consequence of seeinf Spencer fail by such a landslide. Zoey panted. ‘OK, Spencer, I have found this in Nicole’s pocktes.’ She held aloft a cellular phones. ‘You have got a ‘Smart BoysenBerry Phone’, right?’ Spencer gasped. ‘Thanks!’ Zoey sighed deeply. ‘OK, I go to the library in order to prepare my presentation. You better prepare yours, as well, lest . . . ’ She felt totally exhausted from reminding Spencer of his duties. Then she waed and walked away. Josh understood, ‘Spencer, you would be really lost without Zoey Brooks.’ Spencer shrugged. ‘I know! So what?’ He sighed and sobbed. Drake wanted to grab Spencer’s phone right away. But the latter needed it in oreder to call his organiser. Josh kept on muttering about Malika’s tricks. ‘What is it? It kills me not to know and understand magic tricks. Oh, do you understand the connection between our families and the name of ‘Hotel Parker Nichols’?’ Spencer scratched his head. ‘There was something somewhere somehow sometimes . . . ’

13.2 Making Up
Carly Shay had got a hard time understanding Megan and Nevel. She must have thought, ‘Nevel must have used Megan just in order to punish me, with us looking alike or stuff.’ But she was thoroughly mistaken. Megan needed to explain for hours why she loved Necel, and vice versa. Most of it was related to their common taste for music and their endeavour as orchestral musicians. Carly had usually got a hard time understanding teenagers being interested in operas and symphonies rather than pop rock. But Megan’s arguments made sense to her. Carly had hardly ever found anyone sharing her proper interests. She hated Samantha’s obsession with ham and chicken wings, and Fredward’s obsession with sandpaper.

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The closes ever to this had been Adam Moretti. And she had messed it up badly. Rather, it had been Samantha’s and Fredward’s fault. But this detail did not help her. By now it was much too late. Carly moaned desperately, ‘why have you got all the luck? No boy has ever got that much understanding for me as Nevel has got for you.’ She almost exploded for excruciating envy. Megan had to think about Dustin Brooks. ‘I’m sure there are some. In fact . . . ’ She did noyt really care to continue talking. Carly looked at her cousin with determination. ‘You are keeping something back. What is it>’ Megan whistled innocently. She could have talked right away about Dustin. But the latter’s former relationship with Samantha Puckett would have been too hard to digest for Carly right now. Megan suggested Carly to take a nap. ‘Your shining prince will probably soon cross your way.’ Carly started mesmerising herself i order to relax. Megan picked up her cellular phone. She was now going to prepare for her first date with Nevel official recognised by her cousin Carly. This understanding meant such a lot to both of them. Soon enough, Carly would be able to face Nevel, in Megan’s presence, and not be tempted to smear all sorts of sauces into his face.

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Chapter 14 Celeste Carly
14.1 Prepare A Double Date
Nevel was fairly pleased by the recent developments. But now it was time to introduce Dustin to Carly. Of course she had seen him a few times on the campus. But that were just random encounters like many others taking place on a campus of a school like ‘Yakima College’. megan had already thought about a double date. But it could impossibly take place in a place known to most other students. The reason was of course the danger of being spotted by ‘Creddiers’. Dustin would have been inevitably branded as a ‘Creddie Killer’, just as Adam Moretti at the aforementioned webicon, and beaten into smithereens by this brood of vipers. Likewise, Carly was still not willing to let her grandfather know. Thus her mansion was eexcluded, too. Nevel had to find a restaurant with a seperate room for private events. But this could have been very expensive. Neither Nevel nor Megan had got the bucks for such an arrangement. A picnic would have been a lot cheaper. It would have been the top choice in maritime southern California. But the snows of Yakima were not exactly a perfect scenario for a picnic. However, there was a way out of it Leann Carter knew some inn not far from Yakima with a cabaret. That hostelet was often hiring musicians in order to entertain the guests. The cabaret was even equipped with a piano. Leann had once played their with her saxophone. In turn, the musicians were considered to obtain some discount on services of the hotel. And this was the big chance for a more or less secret double date.

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14.2 The Sound Of The Oboe
Megan had indeed been able to strike the ebnvisioned deal with the innkeeper. They would have to play for the sixtieth birthday of the mayor of Yakima and his guests from afar. So now a separate backroom was theirs for two hours. Nevel and Dustin had arrived there first. Dustin did not know about the impending double date. He had only thought about an assignment due for Christmas. Half an hour later, Carly and Megan were about to arrive. Carly was even more clueless. She just thought it as one of her last ccasions to go out. Nevel opened the door for the girls. The former weg star walked in. She could not help shuddering at the sight of Nevel. The believed him harmless by now, though. Megan told her to sit down. Dustin blushed a shade of deepest crimson. Megan told Carly, ‘may I introduce you to a fellow student from our school, Dustin Brooks.’ Carly was a bit timid , all of a sudden. She smiled carefully, ‘hi Dustin. I must have seen you already on the campus.’ Dustin nodded carefully. Of course this was so totally true. Megan remarked, ‘Dustin has been a great fan of the web show, for many years.’ Dustin nodded agaiin. Carly smiled. ‘That’s cool. Where are you from?’ Dustin stammered, ‘california, usually the ‘Pacific Coast Academy’.’ Carly gasped. ‘Wow! That was Melanie’s school. And also a bit Sam’s.’ Dustin admitted to having dated Sam for a few days, back then. ‘But it was so wrong. She onkly abused me.’ Carly sighed deeply. ‘Oh, I do know that feeling. Sam is so . . . sammish! Sory, is that a word?’ Dustin shrugged. Carly continued, ‘so bow you’re in Yakima . . . how do you like it?’ Dustin sighed. ‘It’s fine, just a bit cold.’ He shivered. Carly nodded. ‘In Seattle, it rather rains a lot. I’m not so accustomed to snow, either. So, now you are here. What do you want to become?’ Dustin stammered, ‘a teacher at elementary schools.’ Carly smiled. ‘Cool! I want something like that, too.’

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Nevel tapped Mehgan’s shoulders. She nodded. It was now time for some music. Nevel picked up his recorder. Nevel unwrapped her oboe. Music filled the air. Dustin started almost automagically to sing.

Celeste Carlita, forma divina, Mistico serto di luce e fior, Del mio pensiero tu sei regina, Tu di mia vita sei lo splendor. Il tuo bel cielo vorrei ridarti, Le dolci brezze del patrio suol Un regal serto sul crin posarti, Ergerti un trono vicino al sol.1 During the performance, Dustin blushed deeper and deeper. Carly blushed, too. She purred and started melting away like the snows of Yakima in a gentle breeze of the chinook wind. Megan grinned mischievously. Carly could nopt help putting her hands at the back of Dustin’s head and pull him tenderly closer into some careful kiss. Nevel and Megan had to watch in awe. Their music had worked its wonders again. Strangely, Dustin had never learned or practised that song. He had only listened, by chance, to Nevel performing it. It was Nevel’s and Megan’s song, for sure. OK, but this was the easier part, Hiding and defending all this young love from the infuriated mob of ‘Creddiers’ would be a whole lot harder. For Carly and Dustin, this meant the impossibility of showing up in the public side by side. This would not be easy for the fresh love birds.

based on Celeste Aida from the grand opera Aida by Giuseppe Verdi Heanly Carly, godly shape, mystic garland of light and flowers, you’re the queen of my thought, you’re the brilliance of my life. I would like to render unto you your beautiful heaven, your homeland’s gentle breezes, place upon your head a Queen’s garland, raise up a throne for you next to the sun.

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Once more, Megan hoped for Leann Carter’s ability to soothe the masses. Eben getting Carly and Dustin out of the inn and back to Grandpa Shay and the camous of Yakima College was a task requiring quite some careful planning.

14.3 Parker And Nichols
Drake and Josh had decided to stay for one more day in Seattle. The origin of the hotel’s name, ‘Parker and Nichols’, was not budging from their mind. At the reception, they had first been treated with lots of laughter. The doorman, a remote relative of Lewbert from ‘Bushwell Plaza’, had not been exactly willing to believe their names and almost threatened with security. ‘Stop! Hobo alert!’ Of course they had got their identity cards with them. And this caused a lot of havoc among some of the employees. Of course, those could have been faked. They needed to call Grandpa Shay in order to vouch for them. And this struck quite some awe into the hearts of some of the employees. So there must have been something to their daring assumption. But why was the hotel named for those two families? The name was in any case older than the marriage of Audrey and Walter. Josh Nichols, on the other hand, had not made any progress figuring the tricks behind Malika’s magic performances. He annoyed Drake more and more. But both of them were also thoroughly worried about Spencer’s ongoing mental confusion. According to Josh, Zoey would have been the far better girl for Spencer. But Drake could not help hankering after the blond Mary Sue. He would hardly give up before getting himself burned badly, whatever that meant. Alas, the enigma concerning the origins of the hotel was now more interesting. Too bad the boobs had to leave the state of Washington for the time being. But they would be back, looking for the answers.

14.4 Zoey’s Worries
Zoey Brooks was in charge of Nicole Bristow’s laundry. This had always been the case during their life in the state of Washington. This time, she had discovered disgusting stains on Nicole’s underwear. This was terrifying.

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Zoey feared Nicole and Spencer to be just on the brink of getting Nicole pregnant. Neither of them was emotionally ready for this. And they were certainly too careless for contraception stuff. Zoey was not acting for jealousy. She just had to remember Lola’s pregnancy. And she needed to consider Carly’s. Nicole’s would be emotional suicide for the eternal bimbo princess. The tide was high. Zoey had to do something about Spencer and Nicole. In this moment, Zoey received the message about Dustin’s and Carly’s successful date. Zoey was glad for him, but she could not stop worrying about everything else. Why did always Zoey Brooks have to fix everything for everyone? That was not exactly fair. But it was certainly Zoey Brooks.

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Chapter 15 Back Then
15.1 Parker Nichols
Spencer Shay had hitherto not cared about ‘Hotel Parker Nichols’. He had been aware of the marriage of Walter and Audrey for almost a decade. And since eternities, He had been living just a few streets away from said hotel. It was not the best hotel in Seattle, of course. The most popular one was now ‘Chambrolay’1 , the residence of passing stars in Seattle. But it was also a trifle more expensive. But Drake and Josh had talked Spencer’s ears off. Now he was eager on finding out about the history of the hotel. Grandpa Shay appeared to know more about it. But he had never ever talked about ‘Hotel Parker Nicols’. Something appeared to be so totally fishy. The tenth anniversary of the opening of ‘Hotel parker Nichols’ was approaching. Spencer had not heard this from Drake and Josh. His invisible pal ‘Socko’ had informed him, for one or the other odd reason. Oh, by the way, the multi coloured socks were soon going to turn seven years old.

15.2 Nevel and Megan To Cabaret
In order to get access to the separate room, Megan and Nevel had to give a performance in the cabaret of ‘Out of Yakima Inn’. This was a special event for them. Nevel’s and Megan’s first common performance, barring the practice sessions in ‘Camp Opera’, had been taking place the very same day of the year.
1 mentioned

in iCarly : iRock The Votes.

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They had been totally nervous back then. It had been in the town of Carlsbad in San Diego county, thus not too far away from Megan’s homelands. Carlsbad was traditionally known as a resort centre or spa. They had thus performed for guests of the resort. Sometimes, really prominent people had made it there. This had been the case during Megan’s and Nevel’s first common concert. But, back then, they had ggot a whole orchestra at their disposal, conducted by one Mr. Combover2 , better known as a teacher for music at ‘James K. Polk’ School in Santa Clarita, a city located in the county of Los Angeles. Megan and Nevel still remembered their programme of that evening, and some of the disturbances. Tonight, they were all responsible on their own, out here in this cold place named Yakima Valley. ‘Out Of Yakima Inn’ hosted in particular guests of the skiing season. The winter season was still in its beginnings. But there had already been quite a few guests. After a har day up in the mountain, they wanted to relax in their inn. For that reason, Nevel and Megan had to refrain from burdening them with their deepest opera arias. Megan was a total fan of Giuseppe Verdi. Little wonder, Celeste Aida had been her tune of choice for the first date of Carly and Dustin. There was a new funicular station nearby. It would open for its first winter in a few days. Various guests were looking forward to it. Thus Megan and Nevel had decided in favour of performing Denza’s Funiculì, Finiculà, a tune pwritten for the opening of nowadays destroyed funicular railway from Naples up the Vesuvius, an active vulcano. The gusts were awaiting with incresing suspense. Nevel petted the keys of his piano. Megan made her oboe blow a tender tune. Nevel also sang along.

Aieressera oì Nanninè Me ne sagliette Tu sai addò Tu sai addò Addò Stu core ’ngrato Chiù dispietto Farme nun pò
2 various

cameos in Ned’s Declassified SSG

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Addò Il foco coce Ma se fuie Te lassa stà Te lassa stà E nun Te corre appriesso Nun te struie Sulo a guardà Sulo a guardà3 The audience was totally keen on Megan’s wonderful mastering of the highest of the chanters. Iammo! Iammo! ’N coppa iammo ià Iammo! Iammo! ’N coppa iammo ià Funiculì Funiculà Funiculì Funiculà ’N coppa iammo ià Funiculì Funiculà

The audience broke into incessant applause. Megan bowed deeply. Nevel grinned and waved around. The song was only a work from mid nintheenth century. But it stood in teh tradition of the Napolitan canzonettas. Those were concerned with problems unresolved onesided crushes. Fortunately, in the case of Dustin, this problem had just started to resolve, down to the intervention of Megan and Nevel. Unfortunately, this had not been the case for all of their relatives. This included now especially Zoey Brooks.

Last knight, oh Nanny, I climbed up to there, you know where? Where this ungrateful heart may no longer charm me., where the fire is boiling, but it won’t hunt you down and destroy you as long as you just look and run away in time.

Let’s climb the top by means of the funicular!

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15.3 Dustin and Sam
Due to the peril posed by evil fans, Dustin and Carly were still not able to date in the public. This could not last like this forever. Finding a safe place like in the separate lodge of Out of Yakima Inn was not a possibility, at least not most of the time. But they could still send SNS messages via their cellular phones. They had such a lot to talk to each other. But the costs for the callular connection were a limiting factor. They were also able to web chat. Tonight, they had gathered for this reason, each in their dormitory room. Megan had previously told Carly about the painful former relationship between Sam and Dustin. Now Carly wated to hear more about it. This dirty affair would have turned eight years old during those days. Dustin Brooks still remembered those ugly days of December. Of course, in Malibu, the weather had been all nice and spice. But with hindsight, it had been like a blizzard in Dustin’s heart. There had not been any affection in Samantha’s demeanour. It had started during laboratory classes. Samantha had been the least responsible pupil. She had always been up to no good, such as explosions and venomous stench. Carly could imagine that. ‘It sounds so much like Sam.’ She had been Sam’s partner in lab classes, too, later at ‘Ridgeway’. Being the most responsible of all elementary school kids, Dustin had been rearranged as Sam’s laboratory partner. But she had not stopped. All of a sudden, she had written her phone number onto Dustin’s skin. Fortunately, the ink had not been water proof. Dustin remarked, ‘it was a shock for my sister. But I deemed it cool.’ Carly sighed. She had to admit to having done quite a few things in her life just for coolness’s sake, even at the cost of ticking Spencer off, by chanceor deliberately. During the following days, Samantha Puckett had talked Dustin into committing more and more cruel pranks on the innocents. Zoey had tried hard to stop Dustin. But she had sent her friends up to the front. One of them, Chase Bartholomew Matthews, had finally tried successfully to dissuade Samantha from dating a younger boy, ending up as Trisha’s next boyfriend. This had not been planned.

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But it had demonstrated unto Dustin the fickleness of Samantha Puckett. Dustin Brooks had not come to forgive her that perverted move. Carly Shay concluded, ‘Sam has not changed for a diime’s worth. She’s still that disgusting wench. I have always wondered ‘why do I still invite her all the time’. But I have been too weak. And this is the price.’ Dustin sighed sadly. Carly also addressed the session of her web show mentioning Sam’s first kiss. Dustin had seen that session. But he had refrained from exposing Sam as a liar. Carly wanted to know why. Dustin answered in about the same way as he had alreadsy tried to answer to Nevel’s corresponding question. Carly understood him. ‘Yeah, I know how you have been feeling. That sucks.’ Sam’s lie was now already about five years old. What a sad anniversary! Just some bad things went on and on. Would Dustin and Carly find out of the misery?

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Chapter 16 Lafe Berkowitz1
16.1 Mission Nicole
Dustin had heard about Zoey’s misery during thanksgiving break. Inspite of being stuck in his own angsty situation, including the necessity of having to hide from most of the fellow fans of Carly’s former web show, he wondered about ways to get pry Spencer loose from Nicole Bristow. Nevel had heard about this problem. Dustin had not told him deliberately. But he had sometimes dropped unintentionally thois or that remark. And finally, Nevel Papperman had been able to glue the bits and pieces together. ‘And you would be comfortable with this sibling swap?’ Dustin nodded solemnly. ‘Wouldn’t it be totally cool? Carly and I, Zoey and Spencer . . . ’ Nevel panted. ‘OK, there might be some recklessly brainless fools outside not comfortable with such a situation.’ Dustin sighed deeply. Whatever the situation, Nicole was hardly going to give up deliberately on Spencer Shay. And Zoey was hardly willing to hurt her best friend on purpose by sneaking Spencer off her hands. Nevel asked Dustin to tell more about Nicole Bristow, Dustin described Nicole as a bubbly bimbo wench from Kansas. ‘She is obsessed with all kinds of cute boys. This affects her ways of concentrating on most iother things adversely. Zoey had told her parents to move her to a girls-only school. Thereupon, Nicole had been transferred to ‘Eastridge’2 , California’s best girl school.’ Nevel shuddered for disgust. ‘OK, there are other cute boys alive, not just Spencer Shay.’ Dustin gasped. Of course he understood Nevel’s phrase. So he wondered, ‘do you mean . . . we need to bait Nicole with some other boy?’ Nevel Papperman nodded solemnly.
is from Zoey 101 : The Curse of PCA The surname is taken from same actor’s rôle in some third-party owned show. 2 cameo in Big Time Rush : Big Time Break.
1 Lafe

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Dustin choked. ‘That’s mean . . . but, hey! it would happen sooner or later, anyways.’ Of course it would be nearly impossible for Nicole to forsake all other cute boys for Spencer for the rest of her young life. Nevel and Dustin would just have had to speed it up to some degree. They had to look for a certain sort of boy: cute and brainless. Dustin new several of them: Nicholas Webber3 and Lafe Berkowitz at least. ‘Lafe has certainly no brain. He thinks of mustard as the most important thing for a field trip into the desert. He doesn’t watch his way. ‘Lafe’ isn’t a real name. He understands it as a blend of ‘life’ and ‘hope’. But that would be ‘Lofe’ or ‘Lope’, wouldn’t it? And on and on and on it goes.’ Nevel grinned for excruciating mischief. ‘That sounds so perfect for your Nicole Bristow.’ Dustin nodded vigorously.

16.2 The Search
Megan and Carly were now home from school. Nevel had told Megan about his plans. Megan forwarded them unto her cousin. She would have known another suitable bait for Nicole, a certain Trevor4 , an older friend of Drake. She was not necessarily willing to get Drake involved in thios business, though. The vain boob was better off not knowing anything at all about Carly’s pregnancy until the end of the unholy fanwar. Carly had not really heard about Lafe. But the term ‘Berkowitz’ was very well known to the web starlet. Carly was still thinking on and off about Rebecca Berkowitz. Megan wondered, ‘are Lafe and Rebecca related?’ Carly shrugged. ‘Maybe?’ It sounded like another task for their ‘detectives’. Indeed, Chuck Chambers had demonstrated his perfect competence in the former mission of retrieving Geena Fabiano. Nevel just had to send the little bugger Rebecca Berkowitz’ way and find out.

16.3 Leann’s Plan
Zachariah Carter Schwartz was more or less perfectly happy with Leann Carter. But he could nothelp much in her mission of reconciling ‘Creddiers’ and ‘Seddiers’. In addition, he was worried about Leann;s
3 from 4 from

Zoey 101 : School Dance Drake & Josh : Dune Buggy

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childhood accident, viz. the results of Samantha Puckett’s onslaught upon her life at the occasion of a former pageant in downtown Seattle. Leann admitted, ‘there have been some chroonic competences, but we need to keep them secret. The fans of Carly’s web show won’t like to hear about them.’ But, of course, she could tell her step brother and loverboy Zach about it. ‘My pelvis had been deformed badly, I can’t give birth to children the natural way any longer, for example.’ Zach’s jaw dropped. He would love Leann no more or no less, with or without own children. But he had to think about the impending birth of the baby of Carly Shay. He hoped her to be safe from any of those disgusting troubles always seen in movies about child birth. There were other complications concerning Leann’s nervous system and her skeleton. Leann had nevertheless refrained stubbornly from getting Sam sued for the excruciatingly malevolent onslaught. Zach took his Leann tenderly into his arms, comforting her to no end. ‘So, what to do about the stupid fan war?’ Leann sighed. ‘I have tried to talk to representants from either side, for no avail.’ Zach nodded sadly. Leann Carter suggested, ‘those pernicious fans can only be tamed by a psychopathic one. Both ‘Creddiers’ and ‘Seddiers’ deem psycho fans uncontrollable.’ Zach wondered, ‘do you know any psycho fans of the show?’ Leann nodded. ‘Only two of them by heart . . . there is Norah Dershlit5 , and there’s Amanda Valdez6 .’ Of course, they first needed to find either of them. That was not exactly going to be a totally trivial pursuit.

16.4 The Parkers And The Nichols
The research of ‘Socko’ had lead to some astonishing result. The Parkers and the Nichols had been partners and rivals in the tourist business of Seattle county for several generations. The ongoing discrepances and arguments had been leading the family enterprises into a serious crisis. The marriage bettween Audrey Parker and Walter Nichols had been one of the last chances to prevent the total destruction of the enterprises. It had been arranged by old Mr. Shay, the grandpa of Carly and Spencer and father of Audrey, and by his intern, an uncle of Zoey’s friend Quinn Pensky.7 The real force behind the scenes had been a certain Kathrin Shay8 , the sister of grandpa Shay.
5 from 6 from

iCarly : iPsycho iCarly : iAm Your Biggest Fan 7 Accoreding to Zoey 101 : ‘Spring Break-Up, Quinn’s uncle is a lawyer.’ 8 This is great aunt Kathrin, mentioned in Drake & Josh : The Wedding.

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The old lady had invested quite a few gazillions into the business. There had never been any love between Walter Nichols and Audrey Parker. But the business arrangement was the only way for Audrey to keep the luxury mansion in San Diego Belleview and to inherit Kathrin’s beach mansion upon her death. Currently, the old lady was on a cruise with her fifth husband to Samoa and Hawaii. Drake and Josh were exorbitantly shocked by these news. But there was one big comfort in the whole thing: The divorce of Audrey and Walter appeared now under a completely different perspective. And Drake and Josh could now comfort each other over the foolish situation, inspite of not being step brothers for much longer.

16.5 Lafe Is Found
Carly’s guess had been right on spot. ‘Lafe’ Berkowitz was a brother of aforementioned Rebecca. Chuck Chambers had been able to locate the bubbly bimbo guy by means of asking Rebecca’s current husband, aforementioned Nate Garmer. It wasn’t really difficult to fool him to come to Seattle for that evening. Nate and Rebecca were voluntarily supporting Nevel with that. Nate had heard about Carly’s hearttearing misery. He had always sensed something perversely wrong with Fredward Benson and his absolutely obsessive demeanour towards unfortunate Carly Shay. ‘This Dustin seems to be exactly what Carly needs. He doesn’t talk about sandpaper and other abrasively annoying stuff.’ Thus most people were absolutely confortable with Lafe Berkowitz as a replacement for Spencer Shay as Nicole’s ‘victim’, making him thusly available for Zoey Brooks. But someone may not have been really happy with that. Surprisingly, this was Zoey Brooks. Lafe Berkowitz was no other than the father of the baby of Lola Martinez. They had separated ever since. Zoey would feared Lafe to be equally irresponsible with Nicole. But maybe things had changed in the meantime, making Zoey feel more comfortable? Where would that go?

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Chapter 17 The Peacemaker
17.1 Mandy Valdez
Chuck Chambers had finally found out about the current location of Mandy Valdez. The annoying fan was now a student at some high school in Olympia, very close to the law school. Chuck had alsoe figured things about Norah Dershlit. The psychopathic ‘fan’ had eloped with another psychopath. The identity of that insaner was more shocking. It was no other than Crazy Steve, a cousin of Spencer and Carly from the other side of the family, i.e. not related to Megan and Drake, and not to grandpa Shay, either. But the Parker kids knew him very well. Crazy Steve had lived for several years in San Diego and worked at ‘Première Theatre’. Joshuah Nichols had been working at teh same place. The other employees had suffered a lot from Steve’s unpredictable fits of anger and wrath. His therapist, Dr. Lowe1 , had deemed him an extremely hopeless nutcase. Of course, like almost all shrinks, Dr. Lowe was crazy as well. So, Norah Dershlit was now option. Thus Nevel and Megan were restricted to hiring Mandy Valdez. Unfortunately, the former ‘greatest fan of the show’ had not forgiven Nevel to have once disguised as Freddie on the interweb and acquired for her the rights on the domain ‘icarly dot com’. And Carly would have preferred to never come to know again about Mandy. But the tide was already extremely high. And now Nevel and Megan were meating Mandy Valdez in a neutral place. The location of their choice was ‘Groovy Smoothy’, still the most popular meeting place for the kids of downtown Seattle. T-Bo, the keeper of the restaurant during Carly’s high school time, had moved on.
1 various

cameos in Ned’s Declassified SSG

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According to rumours, his fear of Nicole Bristow’s ruthless bubbly demeanour had been the very reason. Mandy was already there. Nevel and Megan arrived. The ‘greatest fan’ grinned. She noticed of course the similarity between Carly and Megan, but she was, nevertheless, very well able to tell the two almost alike-looking cousins apart without sweat. Nevel grinned. ‘Hi Mandy!’ Amanda Valdez gruntesd for exorbitant disgust at Nevel. Mandy sighed, ‘listen, it is not about the show, it is about Carly!’ The little bugger looked dumbfounded. Nevel needed to tell her about the situation. Mandy squealed, ‘carly is pregnant?’ She woould have repeated it over and over again. But she was impeded from doing so by Megan. ‘Shut down!’ Unfortunately, some of the visitors, fans of iCarly, had heard this. Nevel panted heavily. ‘Just rumours,’ he yelled at the kids. He could now only hope the message to spread as slow as can be to the web show’s perverted fans living in Yakima. But he sure could bang his head against the wall. His denial would not really get them to shut up for good. Megan told Mandy to be careful. ‘OK, you should show up in Yakima and entertain Carly’s fans until the birth of the baby. You will be crown the ‘Queen of Icarly Fans’.’ Mandy beamed proudly. She was always convinced. But she had got one condition. ‘Carly’s baby will have to be named for me!’ Megan choked. She could not promise that on Carly’s behalf.

17.2 Baby’s Name
Carly and Megan were talking via cellular phone. Carly was not at ease. Megan sighed deeply. ‘I know. But what could you do?’ Carly pondered. ‘May a baby have more than one name?’ Megan nodded. ‘Of course, middle names are always possible.’ Carly sighed for relief. ‘Oh, Mandy is a girl . . . but what if it’s a boy?’ Megan thought about it. ‘There’s a French first name, ‘Armand’. It could be nicked to ‘Mandy’.’ Carly sighed. ‘OK! Armand or Amanda it is!’ Megan grinned. ‘See you later!’

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17.3 Queen Of Fans
The weekend after, Amanda Valdez showed up on the campus of ‘Yakima College’. Leann carter had prepared everything for her coronation as the queen of the fans. She announced. ‘OK, this is a great day for those stuill cherishing the reminiscences of a great web show of the past.’ ‘Seddiers’ and ‘Creddiers’ cheered. Leann continued, ‘Carly Shay has been going through a long list of fans of her show in ordert o choose the forever greatest one. This best fan ever will now be crowned as the queen of fans.’ Applause filled the campus. Alas, both ‘Seddiers’ and ‘Creddiers’ hoped for one of their own ranks to be distinguished by that title. Leann continued, ‘and the greatest fan ever is . . . ’ The suspense increased. Leann thundered at the top of her lungs, ‘Amanda Valdez!’ Mandy grinned. She had donned her duck costume and was now strutting thusly across the campus. The fans gasped for consternation. ‘Mandy? That’s not right!’ Leann continued, ‘She will now been crowned with the Carly Crown. Carly expects all her true fans to bown to her decision and show deep respect for Mandy Valdez!’ Leann had been nwinning many crowns at pageants. She was an expert for ceremonies like the following. But Nevel and Megan had decided on adding some good music to it. Megan blew her oboe, playing a the triumphal ode from Giuseppe Verdi’s Aids. Nevel sang along.

Gloria a Yakima Ai tifosi di iCarly Alla regina che regge Inni festosi aliziam Gloria A Mandy Valdez!2 The evil fans growled for excrutiating consternation. ‘How could Carly do such a thing unto us?’ But Nevel and Megan showed no mercy. Leann placed the crown, worked from intertwined twigs and flowers, onto Mandy’s head.

S’intrecci il loto al lauro Sul crin dei voncitori! Nembo gentil dei fiori

Hail Yakima! Hail teh fans of iCarly! Hail the ruling queen! Let’s raise solemn hymns! Hail Mandy Valdez!

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Stenda sull’ armi un vel! Danziam, fanciulle d’ Yakima, Le mistiche carole, Come d’intorno al sole Danzano gli astri in ciel!3 The evil fans were now tired. They had been totally upset by this ceremony and swore to never care about Carly and her show ever again. Leanne muttered, ‘Not a big loss, really!’

17.4 Engaged
Carly and Dustin had now lost their fear of the fans. Carly was glad to have gotten rid of those, anyways. Nothing could stop her now. She panted heavily. ‘OK. Dustin, I know, we should have rings or something . . . ’ She was very much excited. She had been anticipating the moment. But she hads never believed in getting ridof her perverted fans all that easily. ‘But would you marry me anyways? Best before the baby is born.’ Dustin smiled. ‘Of course! I would like to doi that over Christmas break.’ There were only ten days left until Christmas Eve. Carly smiled cheerfully and threw her arms around Dustin. They had to be careful to avoid squeezing the baby.

17.5 Spencer’s Change Of Mind
Nevel’s other plan had worked out even better. Spencer and Nicole had been in some discotheque. Lafe showed up and started bubbling like a n idiot. Nicole deemed him cute and left Spencer on the floor for him. Spencer sighed deeply. Nicole and Lafe may have been starting dating or maybe not. Spencer just started to recognise, ‘Nicole will always treat me like that.’ He sighed deeply. He had almost flunked law school again and let down his pregnant little sister for that. He felt totally miserable. He could not help calling Josh Nichols. Fortunately, the big headed boob was available in that moment.

Intertwine lotus and laurel, making a winner’s crown! Let a gentle cloud of flowers tend a veil from the weapons! Let’s dance, girls of Yakima, the mystic carols, just like stars dancing around the sun.


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Spencer told him about his misery. Josh grunted, ‘you know you should have chosen the blond one.’ Spencer gasped. ‘Zoey Brooks?’ Josh nodded solemnly. ‘Who has always tried to keep you from sinking deeper into the quagmire, since teh start of law school?’ Spencer pondered, ‘Zoey?’ That had been true. Spencer could not deny it at all. And Zoey was even caring about Carly. Nicole had only distracted him from law school and from his sister’s problems. Josh did not even know about those. But he was obn the right track. Spencer promised to consider Josh’s advice seriously.

17.6 Double Wedding
It was one of the last days at ‘Olympia Law school’ of the year. The students flocked the foyer and their lockers. Zoey was surprised by Spencer’s change of mind. The same day, she had heard about Dustin’s and Carly’s wish to marry during the impending Christmas break. ‘Isn’t it strange that our younger siblings are so much faster than us?’ Spencer sighed deeply. He was so much older than Carly. Zoey and Dustin were just four years apart. There was on;y one way to prevent the total disaster. Spencer and Zoey squealed unison, ‘Double wedding!’

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Chapter 18 Double Wedding
Grandpa Shay was at first glance horrified, not so much by the impending wedding, but by not having noticed anything. But he was after all glad about things having taken that turn. Now he was going to support the wedding preparations. Only a few days were left due to the sudden nature of the news. Carly Shay and Zoey Brooks had agreed on three bridesmaids. Nicole would have been Zoey’s first choice. But since having started dating Lafe Berkowitz, the bimbo girl was even more bubbly and distracted. She would not have been able to concentrate on the duties of a bride maiden. Zoey had thus moved on to her next best friends, Quinn Pensky and Lola Martinez. Quinn had interrupted her research on a new breathtaking invention. Lola had to take a break between two shootings for a new movie suspected to be the next winner of Oscar’s. But both of Zoey’s best friends gladly accepted their task. But that had not been an unadultered joy for either of them. Lola Martinez had already been close to marrying Vince Blake, the quarterback of ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. But in the last moment, viz. right in front of the the altar, she noticed to have been fooled by Vince and his sister Ashley1 . She had caused one of the biggest mayhems at Hollywood by saying ‘no!’ Malcolm Reese, Hollywood csar and father of aforementioned dandy Logan, had been extremely close to suspending her career as a movie star for quite a while. Only his boss Mr. Griffin had prevented the execution of this step. Vince had once been expelled from ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ upon having beaten several of Lola’s friends into oblivion. But he had returned after one year, feigning to be a nice guy. He had learned this way of cheating from his little sister. Ashley saw this as the perfect way of getting back at Chase Matthews, one of the guys bullied by Vince. Chase had denounced Vince after cheating in a test and thus spoiled his great chance for a career as an NFL player.
1 from

Drake & Josh : Little Diva

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Vince had not wasted much time and eloped with Shelby Marx2 , the little and alike-looking sister of Lola. Lola had stumbled from the frying pan into the kettle of boiling water by moving in with Lafe Berkowitz. Honestly said, she had never really givin up on him, not even during her engagement with Vincent Blake. A few weeks later, Lola had turned p[regnant. And Lafe had not cared in the dimmest manner about those circumstances. Lola had ultimately lost her baby in an involuntary abortion caused by stress and panic. Quinn had made a similarly bad experience at her first own wedding. She was close to marrying Logan Reese, the richest heir of California. But he had never loved her. He had always deemed her a spaz and other perversely insulting stuff. Everyone with a bit of brain had seen that coming. The day before their wedding, Quinn had made remarks about her impending inventions. Logan had shouted at her. He had never approved of her exorbitant nerdicity. The marriage would with absolute certainty have been nothing but one exorbitantly abominent horror trip. Logan Reese was still playing around with girls, in agreement with his true nature as a ruthless dandy of the most deprecable sort. Zoey had been the maid of honour at both wedding ceremonies. And those had gone awfuly awry. Zoey had thence got serious doubts concerning herself. Having to hear the bride’s ‘no!’ was not exactly the dream of a bridal maiden, let alone a maid of honour. And Zoey Brooks had already gone through this twice in her life time. The third bridal maid was not really a friend of either Carly or Zoey. She was precisely aforementioned Mandy Valdez, the saviour of the relationship between Carly and Dustin, the queen of the fans of Carly’s former web show. It woould have been very hard to turn her down as a maid. She would have appeared at the wedding, anyways, if not through the main entrance, then certainly through the back door. Carly had thus preferred to do this in a controlled manner. Of course there was also a need for groomsmen. Spencer had chosen Drake and Josh in this position. Both of them had participated in various weddings, such as one of Drake’s afirememntioned grand aunt, and they had alway messed up the whole crap. They had been too late and lost the wedding cake on their way, for example. Was this really a wise choice? The ‘boobs’ had hardly learned anything decent ever since. At least they had never been grooms at a wedding, failed or not.
2 from

iCarly : iLike Shelby Marx

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Drake was famous for trashing girls after no more than a month. Josh messed it up even faster, except in the case of Mindy. He had scared her ultimately away after two years or so for hanging out too much with Drake instead of looking for decent friends. As a third groomsman, Dustin had chosen his room pal from high school times, ‘Scooter’ alias Robert Carmichael3 . Just as in the case of Mandy, this was not really a choice. Robbie had always wanted to see his Dustin at his new school. Interestingly, he originally lived in a treehouse near the rewsidence odf the Parkers and the Nichols clan in San Diego Belleview. He had once messed up a talent show with Dustin. He walked and talked like a duck. Thus Zoey’s brother was not left with a lot of confidence. But he could not be rude enough to turn him down. Carly’s father was still stuck in a yellow submarine4 . Thus he was forced to miss out on his daughter’s wedding. Grandpa Shay was about guiding his grandaughter down the aisle. Likewise, the parents of Dustin and Zoey were still in London. It was impossible for them, just as for many others, to arrange everything within the few days between the announce and the very wedding ceremony itself. Zoeu was thus ready to get guided bu her uncle Jeff ‘Glazer’ Brooks5 , a medic living in San Diego. Father Maccurdy6 , the absolutely fattest priest of the world, was rigged and ready for conducting the ceremony. Nevel Papperman was already warming up his finger tips for playing the Bridal Chorus from Richard Wagner’s grand opera Lohengrin. Megan Parker fine tuned her oboe for accompaning her loverboy. Zoey and Quinn were not really at ease with Megan. The latter had been for one day at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’, using the fake name Paige Howard,7 . She had pretended to be the winner of the national science fair. But she had only been a spokesperson for Mindy Crenshaw, the real scientific genius. Mindy Crenshaw had used Megan in order to get back at Zoey Brooks. Two years earlier, Mindy had been for a trial time at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’.8 But she had plagiarised Zoey’s backpack design and sold those backpacks, got caught, and was expelled again. Megan was sorry for that. She had not really known about the circumstances of Mindy’s hostility towards Zoey. She had just thought of it as a friendly prank among old friends. The first notes filled the air.
3 identifies 4 allusion

‘Scooter’ from Zoey 101 : Favor Chain with Robbie carmichael from Drake & Josh : Treehouse to some third-party owned song by the ‘Beatles’ 5 various cameos in Drake & Josh 6 mentioned in iCarly : iWant A Record 7 from Zoey 101 : Paige At PCA 8 this identifies Mindy Crenshaw with same actress’s guest rôle in Zoey 101 : Backpack.

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Faithful and true We lead ye forth Where love triumphant Shall crown ye with joy Star of renown Flower of the earth Blessed be ye both Far from all life’s annoy

Glazer Brooks started leading his niece Zoey. Likewise, grandpa Shay was very careful when walking his grandaughter down the aisle. The lovely sound of Megan’s oboe smothered the air of Yakima.

Champion victorious Go thou before Maid bright and glorious Go thou before

Zoey’s heart was beating like a steam engine. Carly felt herself turning heavy and her legs and knees feeling weak.

Mirth’s noisy revel Ye’ve forsaken, Tender delights For you now awaken; Fragrant abode Enshrine ye in bliss; Splendor and state In joy ye dismiss!

Father McCurdy started asking the usual questions. But he was really just thinking about the upcoming wedding buffet. Zoey Brooks was the first to be inquired. Her heart beat faster and faster. Lola held her writs tightly, feeling the heart beat. Zoey answered, ‘I will!’ The masses cheered.

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Spencer was the next one to be tortured. ‘But of course! That’s why we are here, are we?’ Carly whispered, ‘just say ‘I will!’.’ Spencer sighed. ‘I will!’ Zoey had already been worried. McCurdy delared Spencer and Zoey as husband and wife. Carly panted heavily. It was now her own turn. She had becvome very nervous by Spencer’s little incident. She muttered permanently, ‘Iwill . . . ’ Mandy was even more excited. She could not keep her mouth shut. But finally, Carly had gathered her last forces. ‘I will!’ McCurdy was now only separated by Dustin’s answer from the walk to the buffet prepared by Kazu, former owner of a sushi bar on the campus of ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. Dustin really shouted it out. ‘I will!’ McCurdy declared them married as well. Some long trip in the likeness of Ulysses’ had come to an end. The honeymoon trip was now awaiting them.

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Chapter 19 Honeymoon
19.1 Aftermath Of Wedding
Carly’s garter had been caught by Robbie Carmichel. The bouquet had been grabbed by Mandy Valdez. The two of them had thereupon performed the duck dance together. Carly and Dustin, Zoey and Spencer did not really care about that. They were already looking foreard to their honemoon trip. Father McCurdy emptied the wedding buffet really fast.

19.2 Reactions In Seattle
Before the wedding, Mandy had shouted too loud, mentioning Carly’d pregnancy in ‘Groovy Smoothie’. While not having endangered the wedding as such, the message had been spreading among the former fans of Carly’s web show in Seattle, anyways. A few days later, even Freddie and Sam came to hear about it. Freddie was of course consternated. Sam urged him to calm down. ‘Carly is dead for me, with or without your baby. How could she even dare to like that Brooks bugger?’ Freddie had not yet heard of Dustin. So Sam had to tell him about her short time at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’, shortened by the intervention of the overprotective blond Mary Sue. Fredward sighed. ‘That Brooks wench is worse than my mother!’ Samantha nodded solemnly. ‘Yeah, a whole lot worse. Forget about the whole Carly mess! remember, you have never been more than her ham.’ Freddie sighed as deeply as only possible. ‘Too true!’

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19.3 Beach House
Drake Parker and Josh Nichols had believed their evil grand aunt to be on a cruise across the seven seas. But this was not true. The old wench had died a few months ago. Grandpa Shay had been urged to lie on her behalf and postpone the excution of her ‘last will’. Drake Parker, Megan Parker, and Joshuah Nichols were now owners of the old lady’s beach house in San Diego county. But there were severe conditions for that. They had to run the beach house at Carlsbad as a new beach hotel or spa of some sorts. That was one huge obligation for the kids. Before the official opening of this new beach inn for regular test, it was to be tested by a few selected ones. And these honour guests were precisely the just married couples, viz. Carly and Dustin, Zoey and Spencer. Drake, Josh, and Megan had not yet had a clear idea of how to run the spa centre. Josh thought, I will entertain the gurests with my card tricks. People of today need to appreciate those good old tricks again. In the afternoon, I will run the hotel summer school for the younger guests. Kids of today need to learn more, especially about science. We will perform many experiments and invent things together. At the same, the Parker kids will tidy up the rooms and the pool, take care of the meals and the drinks, run the reception, and manage the prenotations. Drake had got a slightly different idea. I will call my band, use the foyer as a practice site, and entertain the guests all night long with my rock music. Guests of today are accustomed to loud rock music. They may never get enough of it and are ready to pay high tips.. At the same time, Josh and Megan will take care of the administration stuff, the room service, the cleanliness, the hotel bar, and the supplies. None of them agreed with Megan’s concept. She imagined, I will entertain the hotel guests with the tender sound of my oboe. Hotel guests of today need to be introduced once more with the fine arts. At the same time, the boobs will run the reception, the hotel bar, the room service, the janitors’ tasks, and mane=age th reservations.

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19.4 Arrival In Carlsbad
Both of the married couples had gone through a long trip in train and bus to Carlsbad beach. Drake, Josh, and Megan had made it there in the old family buggy. But there was already some surprise. Quinn Pensky, Lola Martinez, and Nevel Papperman had simply taken a plane and beat the otehrs to the beach house. Nevel wanted to help his beloved Megan to get her hotel started. He also was up to some concert practice. Last but not least, their common career had started not far from there. Quinn had heard about Josh’s former participation in science fair. She thought about helping him to get back into the scientific business. Lola wanted to make a music video with Drake and become more famous this way. The atmosphere of a beach inn appeared very much suited for a perfect music video with the best kisser an the hottest young woman of California. And of course, Lola and Quinn were excorbitantly curious about the start of the married life of their best friend viz. Zoey Brooks. They had left Yakima covered with several inches of snow. The white horror was now over. The beach of southern California was not really hot, but still tenderly warm at this time of the year.

19.5 Hotel Staff
The old wench had left a few servants. But those creeps were not really useful on the long run. Drake, Josh, and Megan would have to plan with new staff. Quinn had made a list with the most important hotel jobs to be filled in. ‘You need a custodian, a receptionist, a room maid, a bell man, a manager, . . . ’ Lola was feeling particularly sadistic. ‘Coco would be a good room maid!’ Quinn gasped. ‘Are you serious?’ But then she changed her mind. ‘Oh, she sure would!’ She sighed deeply. Drake asked, ‘whio is Coco?’ Quinn explained, ‘our former dormitory adviser , back at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. She was very messy, but . . . ’ Drake beamed. ‘hey! That’s cool! Messy people are great!’ Megan glared at her brother with dismay. Quinn continued, ‘OK, Josh has always been a great manager for Drake’s band, hasn’t he?’ Josh nodded proudly.

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Drake hesistated. Then he stammered. ‘Er, sure!’ Quinn concluded, ‘so, that’s the perfect experience needed for a fuure hotel manager!’ Josh twitched nervously. Drake smiled. ‘By tghe way, when on tour in Los Angeles, I have sometimes stayed in a hotel named ‘Palmwood’.’ Lola smiled. ‘A cool hotel! Many of my fellow actresses live tehre.’ Quinn nodded vigorously. ‘My cousin Camille is a permanent guest at ‘Palmwood’. And she totally enjoys it.’ Drake continued, ‘they have got a cool custodian, ‘Buddha Bob’, a former custodian at some school in Sanat Clarita.1 ’ Quinn grinned. ‘OK!’ She added Buddha Bob to the wish list of employees. Megan asked, ‘is there also an arcade in our spa centre?’ Josh nodded. Megan remarked, ‘OK, then Quincy2 , a cousin of Spencer from the other side of the family, should run it.’ Drake and Josh gasped. ‘How could we forget about him?’ Megan continued, ‘likewise, our cousin Timothy Turner3 is an expert for wishes. He may sure take care of special wishes of the guests.’ Josh did not know about Timmy. But Drake agreed wholeheartedly. Timmy looked a lot like Drake, but he was like three years older and a lot more childish. Drake would work as a doorman. Megan would have to return to college after Christmas break. But during the longer breaks, she would do the accounting tasks.

19.6 Voyeurism
Quinn Pensky and Lola Martinez were now already hiding outide the room of Spencer and Zoey. Quinn had improved and upgraded her optical power tool, the quinnocular4 . Neither the darkness nor curtains or shrubbery were now an obstacle. Lola took the first turn. ‘Wow! Spencer is sleeping with his socks on!’ Quinn cackled. ‘The illuminated plaid ones?’ LOla nodded.
cameos in Big Time Rush He’s identified with same actor’s recurring rôle as custodian Gordy in Ned’s Declassified SSG. 2 from Best Player 3 from Fairly Odd Movie 4 from Zoey 101 : The Curse Of PCA
1 various

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Quinn had to see that, too. Sudeny, a torrent of cold water hit the curious lasses from above. Lola gasped. ‘The weather reporter has foretold dry weather.’ Quinn growled. ‘Hey! don’t listen to Walter Nichols!’ Lola shook her head. ‘It was Bruce Windchill!’ Some oboe jingle was heard from above, followed by some taunting cackling sound. Quinn and Lola were now forced to wir=thdraw from their dirty business and get their clothes changed. It was not as cold as in Yakima. But a cool breeze could have effected some severe inflict for people with all wet clothes.

19.7 Hungry At Midnight
Carly and Dustin were just talking about the baby. Dustin tried to listen at Carly’s tummy. ‘Wow, he has just roared like a lion!’ Carly chuckled. ‘Aw, that was my stomach.’ Dustin sighed. They haven’t eaten anything since the departure from Yakima. Unfortunately, Zoey had replaced the whole fridge’s content with health food. Dustin was hungry, too. Now they could swallow just anything.

19.8 Return To The Cold
The winter break had been much too short. The kids had to leave fairly warm California and to return to the snows of Yakima. But the test run for ‘Parker And Nichols Beach Inn’ had been completely successful. The first real guests were supposed to arrive after spring break. A lot of work would have to be done until then, though.

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Chapter 20 Finale
20.1 Armand Spencer Brooks
Spring was seizing Yakima. The snow and ice became less and less. The mountain tips remained still all white. Now it was time for the birth of Spencer Armand Brooks, the son of Carly Shay-Brooks. Inspite of all the troubles experienced during the first part of her pregnancy, Dustin was excited over the top. Zoey had got a hard time calming him down. But after that, everything turned out alright. Carly and Dustin would take yearly turns on caring for the little bugger. Spencer and Zoey would help out on occasions as well. Upon completing their college time, both Dustin and Carly would work as elementary school teachers at ‘Silver Spring’ in Los Angeles.

20.2 Megan and Nevel
Megan would occasionally do some auxiliary jobs at ‘Parker Nichols Beach Resort’. But she decided to dedicate herself most essentially to her future as a concert oboe player, backed up by great concert pianist Nevel Papperman. As intended, she would give many concerts at her family inn. But their main work would be a great opera named Carlotta, telling the story of Carly and Dustin with slightly changed names. The première of the opera would be five years after the birth of Spencer Armand Brooks at ‘Première Theater’ in San Diego Belleview. Said theatre had been essentially a cinema for most of the time.

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But things had changed. Helen Baxter, former owner of the whole thing, had retired from that theatre in order to move in with her new husband Malcolm Reese. She was now running the biggest cinema in Hollywood. Having finished his therapy with Mr. Lowe, Crazy Steve and his wife Norah Dershlit had been put in charge with ‘Première Theater’. And they had turned it swiftly into an all-purpose stage centre.

20.3 Josh and Quinn
Joshuah Nichols and his future wide Quinn Pensky were inventing a whole bunch of cool things excessively useful for the beach inn. Quinn had already started with this venture back at ‘Pacific Coast Academy’. One of her first interventions had been the silent leaf blower1 . This nifty tool allowed hotel guests to dry their hair without annoying any fellow guest due to the noise. Quinn’s coconut flavoured dormitive2 became equally popular. It allowed hotel guests to sleep well while smelling nicely.

20.4 Drake and Lola
Working on the music video was a lot of fun for Lola and Drake. Unfortunately, Drake’s record producer viz. ‘Spin City Records’3 was not keen of it. He wanted Drake to make the new commercial for ‘Bixby Industries’4 , an industrial syndicate well-known for its severe inflict on the environment. Lola hated them. She like fluffy bunnies living in the sierra. And ‘Bixby’s’ was up to destroying their natural habits with their new industrial centres and stinking factories. Fortunately, Drake was able to find a new and better producer, viz. ‘Rocque Records’ run by one Gustavo Rocque. The latter had already worked with some of the best friends of Quinn’s aforementioned cousin Camille. And he was also going to work with Lola’s cousins Victoria Vega and Tamara Dyson5 , both of them excellent rock music stars. Granted, Gustavo Rocque could be very brash and impatient. But Kelly Waynewright, his secretary, had always been able to tone him down in the right moment.
1 cf.

Zoey 101 : New Roomies Zoey 101 : Little Beach Party 3 cf. Drake & Josh : Really Big Shrimp 4 cf. Shredderman Rules 5 from Spectacular!
2 cf.

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20.5 Fredward and Samantha
Not much later, Fredward Benson would obtain his associate degree in industrial mechanics. He would thence be a certified expert for the usage of sand paper. Samantha Puckett’s demeanour and sandpaper showed a lot of intriguing similarities, especially due to their excruciatingly strong abrasiveness. For this very reason, Samantha was extraordinarily suitable as a future wife for Fredward Benson. She was also not far from obtaining her associate as a grease monkey. Marissa Benson, the perversely obsessive mother of Fredward, would never approve of their wedding. But that was of no relevance. The psychopathic wench would simply not be invited to their wedding. She would thereupon go completely insane and be due for cucckoo’s hut. Freddie and Sam could not have cared any less. They would stick to their own life. They would not wonder about Fredward’s biological son and his family either. Those obnoxious things were now dug in the past forever.

20.6 Nicole Bristow
Nicole and Lafe were finally fully accredited owners of what used to be old Mr. Gibson’s barber’s shop. Nicole talked the customers’ ears off all the time with some sort of excessive nonsense. But she could not care any less. Their main customer would be Gibby. The shirtless freak needed someone to save the hair on his chest regularly. This was not aneasy task for Nicole. But Lafe used to rub Gibby’s chest with horseradish mustard before shaving it. This burned worse than hell fire. But Gibby appeared to enjoy it anyways.

20.7 Mandy and Robbie
Robert Carmichael and Amanda Valdez would nmarry and come to live in the biggest tree house of America. This house would be built by ‘Pacific Coast Academy’ alumna Stacey Dillsen, former ring leader of the ‘Creddie’ troop. But she had long since forgotten about the web show. Thus she was no longer upset by Dustin Brooks, the supreme and ultimate ‘Creddie Slayer’.

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20.8 Magic Malika
Joshuah Nichols was never able to get behind the secret of Magic malika. This was due to his excessively stubborn materialism and disbelief in and extreme lack of understanding for everything occult and paranormal. Malika, the queen of the witches, could only laugh about Josh’s hilarious folly. She would keep on diostributing magic songs and poems in order to help people being forsaken or discriminated by the vulgar and decadent mass of society. She would eventually take over the business of aforementioned Kreuftlva in New York City, across the whole continent. The state of Washington was notexciting enough.

20.9 Leann and Zachariah
Soon thereupon, Zachariah Carter Schwartzwould finally get to marry his step sister Leann Carter. Of course their evil families were not exactly keen on that. But like in the case of Fredward and Samantha, that was not really a problem for them. They had made their choice. They had now got all time of the word. They said good-bye to it all.

20.10 Zoey And Spencer
This couple would take over completely the lawyer’s business of grandpa Shay after graduating from law school. They would also employ some Claire Sawyer from Santa Clarita in Los Angeles as their auxiliary shark. This way, it was possible for Zoey and Spencer to take turns in making a creative break and pursue their artist interests. Spencer would this way continue his sculptures. Some of them would make it even into the Art Galery Of Congress. Zoey’s designs were even partly published on international fairs by ‘Mad Style’, the greatest fashion label of New York City. The riddle of Spencer’s socks was now solved, too. Spencer’s friend, falsely named ‘Socko’, had bought them off Mindy Crenshaw. And the latter had plagiarised them from Zoey Brooks, using her secret boyfriend Wayne ‘Firewire’ Gilbert as a spy. But everything was now forgiven and forgotten. Zoey would be very tempted to intervene on and off in Dustin’s and Zoey’s education of little Spencer Armand. But Spencer could dissuade her from exaggerating. ‘Dustin adn carly have learned from our mistakes. They are very strong by now.’

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Zoey just nodded and smiled. The End

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