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S.Y.T.Y.W.T.M.A.V.N. So You Think You Want To Make A Visual Novel I will make my own visual novel.

. Its going to revolutionize the industry! I see. Thats very good for you. Do you have a concrete plan about how you are going to do this? Of course! I have a vision! This vision will take the current visual novel scene from the depths of mediocrity and elevate the medium into an art form. Also, it will have crisp, high-quality professional graphics. Crisp, high-quality professional graphics? Yes, I will not accept anything less. How do you plan to do the visuals for your masterpiece? Can you draw? Yes, heres a quick scribble that I did in 2 minutes. In fact, I drew it just before I got here. This isnt even colored. It is generally a good idea to present your best work if you want an honest assessment of your drawing abilities. To put it simply, this sucks. But I never said I was good at drawing. That was the general thrust behind my initial inquiry. If you are not good at drawing, how do you plan to make the visuals for your novel? My story will be so awesome that people from all over the community will be flocking to my work-inprogress thread for the chance to become the sprite and background artist. Ah, so you have a story, would you let me review it? No, you only plan to steal my story and use it yourself and then I would have to sue you for plagiarism. But you do have a story? Actually, I havent started writing it yet. You have a story that you havent written yet? Yes. . You have just rendered me speechless. I know. I get that effect a lot whenever someone realizes just how awesome my visual novel actually is. You didnt even show me anything about it. Thats because I havent written it yet, as I have said before. Have you ever written a story before? Im a big fan of Twilight, Harry Potter and Naruto. I also watched the animated version of Macbeth. Im quite well-versed when it comes to contemporary literature. How about your experience with visual novels? I watched all 12 episodes of Tsukihime and Archer was really garrrr in Unlimited Blade Works. I believe that Kinoko Nasu is an inspiration to all future visual novel developers.

Archer wasnt in Tsukihime and you should realize that its nearly impossible to replicate the success of Type Moon in the current VN industry. I realize this, which is why I have made my story so unique that I will surpass the success of Type Moon in the western market. My work will be more akin to Ryukishis stories. What makes you so convinced that your story will revolutionize the VN industry? Its a marketing secret, but if you insist, I could give you an introduction and a few excerpts. Please do, I am brimming over with enthusiasm as you can probably tell from the soulless monotone with which I am maintaining this conversation with you. My story is a mystery-themed space war drama VN. Its all about 7 gems called soul stones which are scattered throughout the seven galaxies. There are 7 planets on each galaxy with over 7 billion inhabitants and at least 7 different races throughout the galaxies. The title of the game will be 777. There are four sevens in your introduction. Why only three sevens for the title? Because an uneven number is more in keeping with the golden ratio. Do you not see the brilliance in my numbering scheme? Frankly, no, I cant. I am sure you will appreciate it better when the full product comes out. Do you have an estimate of how long it will take you to complete this game? I am taking my time in making my visual novel because it is guaranteed to revolutionize the industry anyway when it finally comes out. After which, I will ascend the corporate ladder and become the CEO of my own visual novel company. You do realize that there is no real market for visual novels outside of Japan, of course? Also, which corporation are you talking about? My visual novel will be so revolutionary that it will replace all forms of current interactive entertainment media. This will pave the way for me to incorporate Pizza Pies Are Squares Inc. of which, I shall become a stockholder, director as well as CEO. What is the scope of your VN? My visual novel will be divided into 60 chapters at about 30k worth of words per chapter on minimum. It will comprise of the first galaxy arc up to the sixth galaxy arc. The seventh galaxy is actually a timewarping organic black hole that has gained the intelligence of a meta-human after absorbing the different cultures of all of its former inhabitants. . Oh, and its going to have at least 450 different characters and you know what? Theyre all females with different hair colors. That is honestly the most contrived and hackneyed story idea I have ever heard. Also, each arc will feature 6 different endings for each girl. By the way, this is a secret, but the main character is actually a psychedelic alien tentacle blob on a wheelchair, but that wont be revealed until chapter 3 when he chomps off the head of one of the girls. It will be a total subversion of the harem bishoujo genre and will be filled with allusions to pop culture icons such as Justin Bieber and Lindsay Lohan. Furthermore, the space battles will take place in the form of a strategy rpg

This seems like a fairly ambitious idea. How prepared are you to go through with your plans? If you have a strategy rpg battle system, do you have the programming knowledge to implement this? I will get a programmer to implement it. They will come flocking to my work-in-progress thread after I announce the contest along with the project. You will be stuck in development hell for years never releasing any of your own work and always redoing everything from scratch for the simple reason that you feel that your over-all skills have improved by leaps and bounds a few weeks later than when you first started. You will also become a jaded developer once you start to realize that there are people in the community with real professional skills that far surpass your own and whose skills you will never be able to reach no matter how hard you try. It doesnt matter. I am prepared to suffer for my craft. My one single goal is to revolutionize the VN industry. Lets change the subject shall we? Im going to give you a realistic idea of what to expect right now and tell you that only a few individuals will probably end up liking your work and the only reward that you will get for all your troubles will be a few posts from anonymous posters saying that they liked the story or characters. Furthermore, there is a high chance that you will receive a lot of purely negative impersonal feedback from your peers. If you try to defend your work, you will be accused of refusing constructive critique and will be lectured for 10 pages back and forth on a single forum thread by people who will tell you about how your game is a perfect example of how not to make a visual novel. Furthermore, these people will be able to back up their critique because they are professional programmers, artists, musicians, translators and writers even though they have not produced a single complete VN themselves, but this isnt the worst-case scenario. Most likely, no one will ever read your work because everyone can tell how much it will suck from the screenshots or synopsis that you will place in your release thread, if it ever does get released and it will be buried forever in obscurity. In the rare event that someone gives praise to your work, it will only act as a signal beacon for other people to give it notice and proceed to tear it apart and expose it for the amateur and mediocre piece of trash that they deem it be. On occasion, some troll will also come by and whine about the lack of quality of English visual novels in general using your game as an example now, knowing all this, are you still prepared to make your own visual novel? What you just gave me is a set of possibilities that you must have taken from your own experience. In fact, all you have been trying to do is rub off your pessimism on me with your intellectualized trolling. There is no guarantee that my experience will be any better or worse than yours. It will be worse. Youre just a jaded VN developer, arent you? Sadly, I dont have a witty comeback for that. Yes, I am. Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. ~T.S. Eliot

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