C.L., The Girl that had to remember

(her memories written by the scribe Daniela Knapić)

„The light of the world comes as a child to awaken the divine in me“ („Christ Within, The Beloved I am“, Rysa)

Hi, Boh, kids, big and small friends! Here's a gift from me, the stories I heard from a sweet little girl. I wrote them down so I can remember them and give as a present to my Sunčica Shanti for her birthday, but you can read them too. I'm quite curious how you'll like them. I've added some music video-links, too, that way you can listen while reading  You don't have to read the stories in this order (not even C.L. remembers what happened at what time) but here they go like this:

The Ocean ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Cabbage kids colony

Again,,,,,,,, the Ocean,,,,,,,,

The wolf and the fox

On the tree

The Town


,,, ,,, ,,, ,,,

The Castle ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Snail healing

The Dream Faery


The Turtle

The Happiness Bird

The Craws ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

The Angel ,,,,,,,,

The Cave ,,,,,,,

The Snail

The Owl ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,there's only One here now,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


The tanker ship ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,





The Clown ,,,,,,,,,, War The Thing The Letter,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, The riddle dwarf

Oh, boy! NEW DREAM Mirror (Epilogue 2) C. L. awakes

The Ocean ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


,,,Oh, there you are, littleOne, long time

no see!,,,,,

-„Yes, dear sea… I was busy helping my cabbage buddies in our garden. We were planting some flowers. Angels and faery seeds, to make it more beautiful.“

„I see,,, No time for old friends, ha?,,,,

-„Oh, don't be angry. I see you are nervous, and you waves splashed me!“

The waves calm a little and the Ocean answers: ,,„Well, yes and no,,, ,,, I know there's no reason for me to be angry, you're always with me, but I love to see your smiling eyes ,,, as well as the Sun and other stars,,, the clouds were hiding them lately,,,,,

-„Hm. Rainy time.

Mama Gaia loves it.

She says it's making her more alive and beautiful.“

„,,Yeah, I know, must be I'm just playing grumpy a little,,,, ,,,and there's that strange feeling lately, I feel something big is going to happen, and I cannot see what. That is making me nervous, after all, I am the sea, I should know things!,,,

-„Oh, but you know, so many, you're my favorite WiseOne. But than, noone knows everything. It is nicer that way. Immagine everybody knowing everything! No fun! Nothing to share…“

,,,Yeah, I guess you're right,,,so, what would you like to know today?,,,

-„Nothing special: I heard your call, so I came to hang out some more. What's up with you?“

,,,Splash,,,, ,„ah, nothing new-breathing waves in and out,,,

,,,dancing with the dolphins,,,

,,,singing with whales,,,

,,,you know,,the usual stuff,,,

-„Yes. I was whistling nicely with the birds on my way here… You know how I love your water traveling

through the air…with those little balls?“

,,,Ha, ha, yes, that is fun,,,

-„I've been thinking how your smile makes my heart dance. sound!“

I almost forgot that

„,,See? - that's why you should visit me more often! pressure, no planning. We're out of time, anyway,,,

,,,but ok, no

-„Yes! And you're the Light of the world, too, right?“

„,Of course,,,

-„That's something I have to remember, so I repeat it, haha… doing?“

How are the sharks

„,Not very happy. One committed suicide yesterday, in the port of the town near you. They are mourning. I guess he wanted to protect me, to give a protest message to the grown humans (did not choose the best way in my opinion, but it was his free choice). There is something to be healed,,, (this bit my daughter wanted me to cut out, she said it will scare the kids away, but I know you are all brave kids. And I kinda

cannot part with itthe day a shark was found dead in our port)

more so because I heard it from C.L. on

So, „I know of your sickness, it hurts to see you suffer… (replied C.L. to the sea)

-But I spoke to the white beard mister, he told me a big healing is taking place on the planet now. Can you feel healing waters replenishing you?“

„,,Sure,,,I don't panic,,,My creatures do, sometimes,,,but the dolphins are cheering us all,,,

-„Yes, I love to play with them. Hope we'll meet again soon…Seems my cabbage-buddies are calling me back, though, gotta go…Keep your inner eye on mine, will you?…“

,,,SPLASH,,,„haha, yes,,,See you, dearOne,,,“


Cabbage kids colony

-„What do you have to laugh about?“ - said one of the cabbage kids to C.L. with a weird, pitch strong voice.

-„What do you mean? When I am happy I laugh and I sing and I dance!“ - she replied, surprised by the

question „And today I went through the woods all down to the Ocean, and was whistling with birds, and talking to the Ocean, sure I have a lot to be happy about!“

-„You cannot be happy when we are unhappy!“

-„Oh, was someone hurt?“ (C.L. got worried)

-„No, but we had some fights.“

-„Fights? You mean like the thing some grown people do when they make wars?“

-„No, we fought because of the flowers we planted.“

-„How can you fight because of flowers? O.k., I remember some kids were comparing them, like-mine is

nicer than yours…but that cannot be the reason for fighting…“

-„ Some of them sprowted and some did not. Than kids started telling each other „It's your fault!“ and some even started pulling each other's hair, we had to separate them…“

-„Weird! We were all planting together, but I did not notice anything. Actually, I was singing - you know how faery seeds love singing! - perhaps that's why I did not see anything strange

going on?…“

-„You know the group that went to town?“


-„Than you must have noticed how weird they behave lately?“

-„Now that you say it, yes, I've noticed they have become kinda different.“

-„And they play that „money game“

They've learned it there and are so proud of it.

They exchange berries, and stones and even flowers for leaves (instead of these papers they saw in towns). They call it the „Buy and sell game“, too.“

-„I've noticed, yes, and some had already piled so many stones and berries under their cabbage…“

-„Yes, so much so that they do not have enough space to stretch and sleep happy…“

-„You know what the Voices told me about happy dreams?- they only come when you sleep nice and peaceful…“

-„See? That's why I am worried!“

-„You're right, they are becoming different – I can see less and less smiles on their faces, and they talk to each other on the ear, and if I come near they tell me to go away because they have a secret…“

-„That's it. I think it all has to do with that buy-and-sell-game catching up. I even think the reason why their

flowers did not sprout is because they were thinking of selling them.“

-„Hm, yes, that can be a problem. Angel and fairy seeds need a lot of attention and apreciation and lot's of

love and care.

If they did not immagine the beauty of the flower

while planting,

but only how they will pick

and than sell them,

I can see why the

flowers refused to sprout…“

-„They forgot the spark!“

-„Exactly. You know what? Let's sing the „Fantasy spark“ song… they are there, discussing their secret, maybe they'll join us, they did like

that song before.“

-„Yes, let's do that.“

-„But anyway, (added C.L., and her voice sounded a little grumpy) I see now I will have to go and check that town someday. My curiosity is becomming impatient. Many strange things happen there, I can tell, and you know how I like to check things for myself.“

-„Oh, you are not scared of anything? You're an adventurer!“

-„Haha, yes, I am. Adventure is a good word for fun, it means going places…

But, let's do the fantasy song now…“

-„Yesss… -La, la, la Remember, remember, your inner ember, use your fantasy spark to dispell all the dark…“

As soon as they heard the song, the kids started gathering and sing, and - as so many times before - sweet

harmony was back in the colony in no time.


,,,again,,,,,,,, the Ocean,,,,,,,,,,

-„Heya, Sea, I love to see you so peacefull and sparkling!“ (C.L. looked cheerfull, sitting on her favorite

rock and swinging her legs)

,,,Yes, the Sun is so nice today,,,,,, What brings you back so soon, little L.?,,,

-„I need your oppinion, or advice maybe.

The cabbage kids have

some quarels lately, about the flowers we planted. not why I am here…“

But that's

,,,Ha, ha,,,,you tricky girl. So-what really bothers you?,,,

-„The jokes.“

,,, Jokes?,,,

-„Yes, jokes.

Seems I cannot find them. Remember when I just started to

walk and talk? When we met the first time?“

,,,Oh, yes, that was fun,,,, splash,,,,


You laughed so loud back than,

and I was happy,although I did not know what jokes I was

telling you.

I was just starting to practice words.“

,,,Yes, you were so sweet, so many new funny words I heard from you,,,

-„So,why now the jokes don't come to me so easily any more? they still do sometime, but when I call them not even one answers…“

I mean,

,,,You're trying too hard,,,,,

-„You might be right, yes, but sometimes in my head I see pictures of things happening around the world, and many are not nice at all, so- the more sadness I see the more I feel I have to hurry to find new jokes, a lot and loto of jokes, so that all returns cheerful and funny to me again…“

,,,See? That's where you loose your jokes- they are still there, but you do not see them because you move too fast,,, searching for them,,,



-„Quite a word. It makes me sit quiet, and you know how I do not like to be quiet.“

,,,Ha, ha ,,,

,,,there you have it – you made me laugh,,,splash,,,

-„I did? Than I'm glad, but I am not sure if I understood the joke…“

,,,The best ones are those you understand after you say them,,,, not sure if I understood this one,,,

-„Ha, ha, you old Ocean, you are funny!“

,,,Yes I am. I learn from my dolphins a lot,,, I borrow some of their jokes, too. Besides, most of the best jokes are no-words-jokes,,,

-„You're right. Remember when the little dolphin was sad- we could not stop laughing- everybody was comming with new jokes- whirling, splashing, making funny faces and sounds, jumping out of the water, rolling eyes,- all kind of jokes, untill the little one was crying tears of laughter!“

,,,Yes, dolphins are a funny bunch,,,

-„So, what do you say? Should I play with them more often?“

,,,Yes, of course, and listen to the birds - they too make hillarious jokes,,,

-„Ah, ha, yes, the sparrow just told me she'll bring the joke that will make the cuckoos turn red…“

(shush! ;))

,,,Haa, the sparrows are so cheerful indeed,,,

-„Yes. And soo fast. Just the other they one of them flew in front of my nose, like an arrow. Arrow-sparrow, haa! The others started laughing madly. I so love their giggle, I cannot get mad at their pranks even if I wanted to!“

,,, see?,,, there are jokes everywhere. If you keep quiet long enough, you hear them,,,

-„Oh, here comes another one…“

,,,Can't wait to hear it,,,splash,,,

-„Hands up!“

,,,Ha, ha, you did it again! I surrender,,,splash,,,


The wolf and the fox


IIIII aaaam the scaaaary Wolf, that roams the woooods …Good, ha?(The Wolf was bragging a little
about his singing abilities with the Fox, so he did not notice C.L. right away) „Aaaahm, look look, who we got here? Hi, Boh, little girly, aren't you affraid of me? Don't you know wolfs like to eat kids?“

-„Boh! It is not really important if you want to eat me - as long as you don't, we can still be friends.“ answered C. L. to the wolf, -„Besides, I'm too good at climbing trees, you could never catch me!“

The wolf was not really hungry, he was just acting as if he was a serious dangerous wolf. He thought it was his natural duty to behave that way…

-„Ah, Lina, Lina, you're confusing me! My role is to be the big bad wolf. It was always so that I scare little girls in the woods!“

-„Maybe, but I am different. I've even danced with some white wolfs, but they are too fast for racing, I gave up on that, I run just like a little girl, not fast like wolfs.

Otherwise we're super, they don't scare me. and my buddies, we live near the woods and we know all nature's creatures are kind, just some are scared…“


-„Hmm, perhaps there is some truth in your words, I had few quite scarry encounters with humans“- said the wolf- „Maybe I am not really scarred, but I do not trust them, therefore I prefere to scare them away.“

-„You mean like „Attack is the best defence“? - I've heard that, but am not sure if it's true…“

-„Yes, you know what, you two?“- the Fox finally joined the conversation – „Instead of playing big bad wolf and his victims, we could just make a nice fireplace and bake some potatoes, or simply make some instruments, fiddles and drums, so we can play music and dance arround the fire- how about that?“

-„Oh, dear Fox, you always have good ideas! I'd love that, too, but it will have to be some other time. Now I'm on my way to the town. I want to check if all the stories about towns are true…“

-„What exactly did you hear? Maybe we can tell you some true stories, too?“

-„Hmm, let's see… First thing that comes to my mind is that towns have a big cloud of gray smoke around them. They say it is because of many chimneys. Not

only from fireplaces but also from those big places they call factories and these cars they go around with…“

-Ehm, yes, it can be felt here, too. Sometimes I caough and howl so much because of it!“ –noticed the wolf.

„…Than –continued C.L.- there is also something called „plastic“, I heard it is everywhere you turn there.

Than those boxes many stare into the whole day long…

And than shops, the places my buddies that went to town visited…Rumour is- many get stuck in there, never return back to their collonies! They call it „growing up“, somewhat of an advanced version of the „buy and sell game“ they play over here, after they see the shops…“

-„And that is all you know about towns?“ –asked the Fox.

-„More or less –yes - that's why I'll go to learn some more there. And you?“

-„Well, for example, did you know that there are towns where they keep animals in jail?“

-„Noo, you're kidding, right? I thought jails were just for bad people that did some really, really bad


-„No, it's true, I have friends there!“ - the Wolf confirmed Fox's statment.

-„Me too,“ - said the Fox – „They tell me people come arround, watch them, some throw food to them, and some are very rude, too. Humans are treating animals like lesser beigns!“ („I won't even mention slaughter-houses!“) –thought the Fox, and goose bumps went down her spine. She decided it is wise to go silent.

-„Oh, my, this is another bad thing about towns. I like them less and less the more I learn about them. I'll go up on the tree so you do not get hungry, and I'll just breathe.. that will calm me, I hope, cannot go there nervous like this. Too many stories about the towns make me feel sad & I don't like it. Sad is not my favorite state. Bye. Be good to each other!“

-„We will, little One!“

(„hmm, perhaps I really could have stayed dancing with the animals?“ –thought C.L. – „oh, well now, there will be other chances! Once you make a decision there's no point in re-thinking it“ – she remembered –

„I go breatharize myself a little and than off I go

– to the town!“)

On the tree

-„… Aaaah, that was soo goood!“

- thought Christa Lina while stretching after a

little breathing on her favorite tree.

-„You see, there's nothing to it!“- said the Sun, blinking through the branches toward her - you are getting very good at calming fast.

-„Yes, Sun, the tricks you thought me are very helpful. And your rays are so warm and gentle. I tingle all over when you're here. I'm glad you could make it through the clouds today, you make the colors brighter and all is more beautiful with your smile upon it. And you bring my smile back, too.“

-„Thank you, I'm happy to hear it, I'm here for you, and all the others, of course!“ - said the Sun with a whink.

- „Yes, you give so much!“

-„That's because I receive so much, too. I am the Sun and everybody loves me. So much love I get that I must give back a lot, I just cannot keep it all for myself, you can understand that…“

-„Ha ha, too much love could eat you up?“

-„Well, not really, but…“

-„I understand. Must be weird, all the creatures prising you all the time.But you deserve it… You know what else I love?“


-„I love when you draw those tiny rainbows on my eyelashes with your rays. That is super fun. Therefore I love to whiggle my eyelashes and look at your eye and than my eyelashes are full of flowery colorful light waves. Something like that, perhaps I did not explain it well, but you know…I am grateful for all

your gifts.“

-„And I am one lucky Sun 

The Town

-„Hey Ocean, do you hear me?“-C.L. just started learning telepathy and thought it was a good oportunity for

practice, after all, the sea was the most telephatic beign she knew, beside Gaya.

,,, yess,,, splash,, just think a little louder,,,

-„Ah, ok…I'm

in the Town now. (is that way ok?)“

,,,Yes, even too loud  ,,,So -How do you like it?,,,,

-„It's not big as the ones I sometimes see in my head, you know, the pictures of the bad and sad things happening in towns all arround mama Gaya, you called them „visions“ once, …“

,,,Oh, do not think about those so much, it will mess with your glow. Instead, send your love there, imagine some beautiful visions, not all visions are sad, you know,,,

-„Yes, I do that sometimes, I cannot leave the sad thoughts, especially about the children, but I immaginize how I breath in a little of that sadness from the world and than breath out a lot of my love.

You know how sometimes I have it so much that I

don't know what to do with it, it is too much just for me. So than I immagine that, the more I breath like that, there's less sadness and more love to send it out.

It is exciting. I feel that way I can help a little.

Do you think maybe some sad kid

can catch some of my love and joy and dry the tears and smile at the Sun again?“

,,,Sure! Sssplash,,, That's the way you do it, you bright One! ,,,

-„Aham, Yes, I am the sparkle of life !!“

,, No doubt about it ,,, ,,,you can even try to see all the faces in your mind SMILING,,,how about that?,,,it's a nice game, I love to play it,,,

-„Super cool!

You gave me another good tip, I'll try that, thanks…

You know what else? I met an old tree, he will soon die. We hugged. I told him how I dreamt I was a tree and was patient and was happily glowing in the Sun and than humans came and cut me down. Good that I woke up. But I just today understood what the dream was telling me, that I will have this encounter… I was sad about him dieing so I was talking more than usual, wanted to cheer him.

He said: „Do not be sorry, dear one. I had a good life & I'm happy I met you and so many

other beautiful beings. Now the Universe is calling me & I will surrender. I wander what my next adventure will be...“


,,,Yes, trees do not worry, they do not feel that pain of separation the human species is suffering,,,(the sea became thoughtfull, completely calm)

-„I wanted to tell you about the Town.

It is nice, actually. Not like the big foggy gray towns I see in my mind's eye. In the center there is a hill and a building on it, they call it the Castle, although it is not a real castle, more of a fortress, and the buildings are spiraling around it, simmilar to spider's webs, all the way down to you. And the place where the town meets you they call Riva, port, but I guess you know that.“

,,No, actually I don't, There are things that even the old sea does not know, remember? ;) Sounds great though,,, -„Yes it is. And when you mention the pain of separation – I wander why I saw so many sad and gloomy faces? The people I met, I was smiling at them, some of my nicest smiles,

and few did smile back, but most of

them just turned their eyes back to the ground. Looks like they have many sad thoughts on their minds, as if they're all separated from something or someone dear to them?“

,,, Well, you know that you cannot force other people to feel the way you do

,,,Each and every soul is here to have their own unique experiences,,, -„Yes, but when many people think un-happy thoughts that is like a sickness, a virus they

call it, it catches up, even the happy ones start to be sad and angry or want to quarrel, or gossip, or even fight, all the things I do not like at all.“

,,,hmm,,,,I see,,,that can be a problem,,, -„I notice that now it's coming to our colony, too, seems my buddies that visited the Town brought it? That's why I wanted to come here and check for myself. Do you think I will be

sick now, too?“ -,,,Oh, no. I do not believe so. You know your center, you dance on your heart, and you know your mission, right?,,, -„Yup- to make people remember their sparks…I have to repeat it often, so I don't forget.“

,,,There you go, see? The answers are always with you, you are the girl that remembers, and a brave one. You cannot be scarred by other people's fears, and you will help some of them to find their lost, actually just forgotten, sparks. Actually, you already did help many.“

„Cool. Actually (C.L. loved new words, and loved to repeat upon hearing them, even when actually some, like this one, she did not quite understand) You mean even when I think I

forgot, the Answer is still in me?“

,,,Yes, of course, just listen to your heart,,,

-„Oh, well, my heart now says to move my body and go back home, seems this town is making me tired.“

,,,Yess,,,splash,,,,good idea, towns can be fun, but only in small doses, if you stay longer you get tired, haha,,, splash,,,,



-„Welcome, welcome, welcome, C.L., C.L., C.L.,“ the butterfilies were cheering all arround C.L. that day – „Where were you hiding, why you do not come more often to dance with us on our meddow,

meddow, meddow, with us,

with us?“

-„I was in the cave, had to take some time to be alone with Gaia, she understands me and helps me the best when I am confused.“

-„You were confused?, confused you were?, were you confused?“ (the butterflies are very curious creatures,

almost like C.L.)

-„Don't know. I was feeling weird. I've visited the Town, you know, and I needed to think some more about

all the things I saw there...“

-„We fly near towns, too, sometimes, but do not like to enter. How did you feel?“

- „Oh, you know how confusing you can be?“

-„Yes, yes, yes, we like to fly arround you and confuse you!“

- „…and that makes me happy, too, or like that story of yours about the caterpillar.

btw,you could explain it once more to me sometimes, I am still confused about it…but the Town did a different kind of confusion to

me, it gave me all kinds of new images and emotions that than brought me into very weird moods. Do not

worry, now I am fine again, Gaia helped me.“

-„What you usually do in the cave?“

- „I sit, and sing my melodies

and Gaia just listens

and rocks me gently,

like a real

mom, or at least that's what I've heard real moms do ( and she's in love with our Sun!- she almost added, but than stopped herself, remembering that Gaia told her

that most confidentially.

Although a big talker C.L. actually can

keep secrets, if you remember to tell her that she must). me about many things, like stars and galaxies…“

She also teaches

- „Yes, yes, yes, we love them too, but Gaia cannot dance with you like we do, right?“

- „Sure, you really make me dance so good.“

- „So, let's dance! C'mon! Rush! Before the rain comes!“

-„Yes, let's dance!


,,, ,,, ,,, ,,,

,,,,,,aaand? ,,, you did your research trip,,, How do you like humans?,,,

-„I like butterflies better.“

,,,,?,,,,, ? ,,,,

-„Well, ok, humans are not bad either. Just many of their games I do not like. They like to groupize, and invent all sorts of groups - clubs, parties, churches, brotherhoods, sisterhoods, lodges, banks, towns, states, social nets…they call it many names but it's all the same everywhere- they try to prove that by being in some group they are better than someone that is not.

It is actually very similar to how the craws behave. But, at least, craws

don't make wars… Now I see it happening with my colony buddies, too, and it is soo boring, so I rather sit here with you…“

,,,Fair enough. Shall we play silence?,,,

-„Yes, thanks!“ ,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,



-„Hey, btw. Do you know that when I stare at the sun long enough and than close my eyes I

see a blue sun, surrounded with other colors?“ ,,,Cool,,,

-„You know how I love playing with these colors inside me, right? So than I digged: I am the light of the world, but am a rainbow, too! Dig it?“ ,,, splash,, yess,,sure you are,,,but now we play silence, kiddo,,,

-„oh, yes, sorry.“ ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

The Castle

Lina walks through a narrow hallway of an old abandoned castle, in the woods. All over the place nature is taking her space back - big grass & bushes, somewhere even trees growing

out of the remains of the building. She comes to a larger area with no roof, just remnants

of walls around a big ametist rock.

-„Beautiful! This place must be very old!?!, she wanders, Who knows who built it, what kind of people were living here? It looks so nice, I would have liked to live in here when it was built…“

-„Really?“ - a cheerful being with large eyes, pointy hat and ears popped up in front of her, out of

nowhere… Email Password ·

-„Yes. Who are you?“, asks C.L.

-„I've built this place long, long, long ago. If you want I can take you to our time so you can meet the


-„Will I be able to come back?“

-„Yes, but I do not guaranty you'll be back for dinner.“

-„Oh, that's fine, I'm not realy hungry, and I'll find something on the way, anyway.“

-„Good, I just have to warn you: you might experience some serious changes if you come with me…Perhaps

you will even not want to go back any more, nevernever again.“

-„Hmmm…You think I'll love it so much?“

-„Very likely, yes“.

-„Than let's go! 


-„Hi, mr Ocean  How are you today?“

,,,fine,,,peaceful like olive oil,,,

what's up C.L.?,,,

-„I've just heard about that Hapi turtle living in a cave in your belly.

They say if I dive and find her on spring equinox I should give her a kiss and I'll be able to fly all year long. Is that true?“

,,,yess,,,wanna try?,,,

-„Well, equinox is just behind us, but next year you bet I will. I was hoping you could give me a clue about

where that cave is.

Although, they say I have to find it by

myself, otherwise it is cheating and does not count, even if I find her and kiss her I'll still not fly!“

,,,o.k. I will, little One, just remind me a little earlier next year and I'll tell you few helpful riddles,,,


,,,and how are you lately?,,,

-„I'm not sure what to answer. It is all very confusing to me. And I feel as if I forget so many things, that I even cannot explain to you well. What I do remember is I really need to learn more about the world, but than - the more I learn the more sad I get and that is not good for my mission-assignment, you know it - I should bring joy back to Our Big Mother and her creatures, not

add more sadness! and full of worries…“

So than I get discouraged, dissapointed in myself

,,,hmmm, we've been through that one already,,,so-what are you doing that is not joyfull?,,,

-„The kids say I am the oldest in the colony now and I have to go to school so later I will be able to„find a

job“ and

„make money“

and buy them „toys“

in the town, and other


…you know, that

game they've started… and that school story I don't like, you have to learn there and I told you, I have enough of learning already, and that „work“ thing sounds even worse… “

,,,mhmm,ok, I understand,,,,but, don't you think you exagerate, Little One,,,I'm sure there are so many things you love to learn,,, Yeah, well, you might be right. For example I love to learn words. But even more, I like to inventionize new ones.

,,,aaah, haaa, there you are, little inventoress ,,, than you will surely invent many jobs that will make you happy,,,

-„Inventioning happy jobs?

Super, I'll play that…well, yes, you

are right, Sea, when I worry I exagerate a little.“

,,,Sure you do,,,and even if your troubles were really, really big, there's no use in worring, it does not solve

anything and can only make things worse,,,

„Yes, but I tell you the truth, all sorts of things are happening to me in the colony.

For example, when I refuse to play „buyers and sellers“ with them, they just plot against me, and say I am not „as I should be“

…it seems all the colony is uniting against me, playing at inventing ways to make me feel „different“ and not wanted arround. It is very confusing…Noone laughs at my jokes any more, they do not want to hear my stories and songs, they call them stupid, and any game

I suggest they refuse to play it with me. Or - even worse - they change some parts of it, play the changed version and say I'm spoiling their game and I have to leave!“

,,,Quite a hard time you are going through, ha?,,,

-„Yes, that's why you see me more often lately. It is good to come and talk to you. Even to just sit beside you, you understand me and calm me without words…I feel my joy is fadeing, finding funny thoughts is becoming harder and harder to me, no laughter, no songs are coming from my throat lately…“

,,,Have you tried painting? ,,,,,I've heard some artists can heal with their immages,,,

,,,the best are those that fallow the Creator's example- look at the clouds today, aren't they magnificent?,,,,


-„Oh, yes, such a glorious artist the Big Boh One is, right?“

,,,„Yes, and you are too, a little creatrix, I know you are fond of art,,,and they say one picture is worth thousand words,,,

-„Aha, even more if I paint something I feel!“

-„There you go. Try and create something beautiful,

you'll see how answers to

your questions will pop up, unexpected, out of nowhere,,,,

,,,,,,you'll be amazed,,,

,,,good art, done in a mood simmilar to the one when

you expect gifts to come to you, that is real magic,,,

-„Hey,thanks, Sea! (C.L. clapped her hands) I'll try that now, I'll draw something on the rocks, maybe some


that way I'll gift you and myself with some magic 

Snail healing

-„Fear not!“

– said the funny Boy to C. L. the day they met.

-„Oh, but don't you know I'm fearless? Ask the wolf!“- she replied, although not sure any more if that was

realy true. After all, she was not arround long enough to know all the fearfull things she might encounter, and how they will affect her.

„This is quite scarry“- said the Boy with a tricky smile . With a very fast and skilfull move his arm passed through her belly, as if her body was made just of air..

Than he opened his arm and there a weird little creature stood, the two tentacles on his head were streatching, curiously.

-„See? You had a snail in your belly.

It was feeding on your happy thoughts, that's why you

could not smile any more!“

-„Oh, my, so that's what it was? Thanks for removing it. You think now I'll feel better? Seems I got used to that being. Now my belly feels quite empty... But wow!

I do see colors

and hear the birds

much more clear now!

It was all as if covered with some

mist lately- was the snail doing it?“

-„Yes, probably, he was growing with each happy thought of yours, and you were forgetting the real, shiny

you, that can always find new happy thoughts.

If I left him in there, one day you could

even have found yourself turned into a real big snail, never satisfied enough. Which is what usually happens to many cabbage kids. They grow, they snailize themselves, run after their


eat up their cabbage at the end

& die there. And underneath their body a new cabbage grows, and a new cabbage kid is born…and so life goes on.“

-„Wow – so that's the cabage mystery?

Finally I got it. It was bothering me for long.

Somehow, since the beginning, I always felt I do not really belong here…“

-„That's because you don't. You were left here by some tricky creatures. They said to us to take good care of

you, because you're a special child.“

(-„You seem to me like a tricky creature, too.“- thought C.L. and a spark jumped out of the Boy's eye.

Could it be he can do it, too?- she wandered, but did not want to

think about it now)

-„Yes, the white bearded fellow mentioned something similar“- she said- „I did not trust him completely,

though. Many times I do not feel special at all,…just very different, that's true… … the kids are starting to notice it, and they are avoiding me more and more lately. But even that is better than when they are mocking me. And than the assignment he gave me starts to feel too though, I do not feel like I'm the right child to do it. You know what he told me?“

-„Yes, he told you your task is to remember…“

-„Oh, how did you know?“

-„You told me.“

-„Noo?!? When?

See? It is all so weird - I don't even recal meeting you before. But

than, again, you feel sooo familiar. Weird, weird, weird. And I keep repeating to myself: remember, remember, remember, but I do not know what it was I had to remember.

Sometimes, just in a blink of an eye,

some memory appears, but I loose it fast again..

Sometimes I even forget what the word „remember“ means!

Oooooh, it all makes me so angry, ufff!“

-„Ah, but that's easy! I remember what you told me.

It's that you are the

light and love of the world, and we all are, remember and smile and shine again!“

and you are here to make us

-„Beautiful! Thanks for reminding me!“ -„Nothing at all“ –said the Boy – „I keep on telling it to others, and they repeate it again to others, the message is spreading. You did not think you'll have to do it all alone now-did you? You do not seem as a puffed up girl…“

-„I don't think so, although some tell me I am rude and invasive. And tireing. Funny words. But now I recal, the man told me I'll have helpers, yes, many helpers. Did not quite

understand that word before.

It is easy- helpers help, right?“

-„Yes, that's it. So-did I help you a little?“

- „Oh, yes, you did. A lot!“

-„Good, so now just keep smiling, ok?“

-„Ok, thanks.“

-„And if you cannot find anything funny, try moving your jaws few times left and right.“

„Ah, yes, that's a good trick!“

-„Be gentle with yourself. Your snail wound has to heal well before you'll feel completely happy again.

And careful with the snails, next time I might not be around!“

The Dream Faery

-„Why did you give me that bad dream last night?“ the moment she saw Faery Grandmother approaching.

–asked C.L.

-„Hi, little one. What bad dream? All dreams I give to the cabbage children are high quality good. For God's sake –you of all kids must surely know that I'm the good dreams faery!“

-„No, no, that one was bad!“ – Lina insisted – „I did not like at all the dream in which you made me into a snake!“

-„Ah, you're just playing weird today…(btw, stop picking your nose) …you did not mind the dreams in which you were a cloud, a fire, a river, or even that time you were a cow.“

- „Ha, yes, that was funny, and how weird it was - playing with my tail!

Than again,that fire dream was quite scarry, too. I could not stop eating, and was becomming bigger and bigger and more and more hungry and

mean, wild, wicked, so I woke up, scared of myself! that ferver thing afterward. You know, when your forehead is warm…)

(I even had

I do not want to be a bad fire, the one

that eats our forests, it is not my kind of fire…

I I wan

I want to protect life!“

-„Ah, do not judge, C.L. After all-it's all you, just in different dreams, having different experiences…and

what's different with the snake dream?

-you don't like snakes?“

-„I do, I love all animals. Just - I don't like to be a snakee. It was so hard to go arround crawling! And I so missed my arms, and my legs especially – I could not jump

nor dance!“

-„Well, when you've climbed that tree it surely looked like a nice dance..“

-„Yeah, snake dance…but I prefere my kind of dancing,

with jumping and arms and

legs all over and lot's of head shaking,

that makes me feel soooo

funny “

-„O.k. little one, so what you say, no more snake dreams for you?“

-„Well, not forever, I cannot say that. Perhaps I'll someday be born again as a snake. In that case it will be ok to have snake dreams, I suppose.“

-„I can see you think a lot about what is appropriate and what is not?“

-„Yes, I'd love to have more signs along my way to help me see what to do when something happens that I

do not understand.“

-„Oh, but you have them, signs are actually everywhere, you just have to learn patience, so you can see them, and to read them, calmly. Learning takes some effort, you know?“

-„Ha, „sign-readeress“, that's another good job title!“

– C.L. gave herself a happy applause.

-„Yes it is, would you like to be one?“

-„Among other, yes, it could be fun („…but jobs need to be learned in schools, and I don't want to go to school, nevermind, don't want to think about it now…“thought C.L.). Hey, I know- perhaps the snake dream was a sign that gave me this idea?“

-„May be.“ -„ Cool. Thanks, faery!“

-„Yes, and look for some more signs in the dreams I send you, I put plenty of them in, kinda like easter eggs

hunt “

-„Oooo, this is all so exciting!“ - C.L. started jumping and clapping hands again- „I love to have my hands

and legs back

….and I love clapping, and I like to roll forwards and

backwards, hi, hi, hi!“

…and offfff she ran, forgetting to say the usual „Love you!“ to her faery grandmother, (she was too busy running and counting how many characters she plays in her dreams). But the faery did not mind really. She knows her C.L.- there's nothing but love sparkling from her eyes, that's why fairies love to hang out with her and take her in their land -they always have some good times


Although, and that is also true, they must always use some

magic to make her forget it all when they bring her back. It is for security reasons, to protect their Kingdom from human invasions, otherwise she would tell everybody, you know it already- C.L. just cannot keep a secret! (Oh, well, sometimes she can. I already told you that. It is not easy for her but she keeps a secret if you seriously, seriusly forbid her to tell it, but than it becomes a hard

burden to her.


the fairies do not like to torture her with secrets, and simply delete her fairy memory..)


-„Heya, Ocean, I wonder about another weird thing!“

,,,splash,,I hear, I'm all ears ,,,,,,

-„The dream fairy told me all the characters in my dreams are actually me, just in other dreams, so I wonder how many me there are out there actually?“

,,,hmmm,,really tricky,,,

-„Yes it is. It all kinda makes you go into some very weird thoughts if you think too much about it. But than I figured it is not realy the „me“ me, but the One „Me“ that is all we and is playing and thinking through me and through us all, right?“

,,,,I guess so,yes,,, good in those thinking games,,,

,,,, you are becoming quite

-„So, are you having big fun, you Big Boh One?“ - C.L. turned few times arround herself, looking up and down and all arround, laughing loudly, with hands wide spread…

(Time slowed down a bit)

„We're sooo clooose “

No reply, of course. Still, she knew it is true, because she felt the silent smile, the One speaks Silence

language fluently.

The Turtle

-„Where is my voice gone now????“

The birds were chirping as usual all arround her when she avoke that day, but instead of joining them, as she loved to do in the morning, C. L. could not sound any tone…Nothing, no matter how she was spreading

her lips, left - right, up - down, on the sides…, no matter how wide she tried to open her mouth, no sound was comming out…NOT EVEN A WHISTLE!

The birds were surprised, too.

-„This is spooky! “- thought C.L. – „Must have something to do with that dream?!“ - she remembered that snake dream, recalling how she was crawling arround, a very weird feeling it was…-„I dreamt about beign a snake, that's why! Snakes don't talk, they don't sing, don't scream nor laugh, they just hiss, when frightened!“

-„Hmmm…Time to go and see the Turtle“- said Gaia in her head. (It was Hapi the turtle she was talking about, of course, but since she was the only turtle miles arround, everyone was talking about her as just the Turtle)

-„Oh, yes, good idea, thanks Mom Gaia, I've been wanting to visit her for very long. I felt I needed her to give me a check up, ever since the Boy pulled that snail out of

me. Something strange is happening. I better find the cure, and fast- I would not want to stay like this-it can not be fun-immagine-to not be able to speak, nor sing or whistle with the

birds, not even laugh! Oh, no, I have to hurry!- I have so many jokes I still did not tell no One!“

--„Ohoho! Nice to she you, Chshi L., it wash about time we meet!“-

said the old Turtle, rolling her eyes toward the girl (besides for her wisdom and healing abilities, Hapi was famous for her funny shsh-way of pronouncing the letter „s“ How C.L. found the Turtle I won't tell you, to not spoil your fun when you'll go searching for her)

C.L. was looking at her, helplessly trying to reply with some, Any sound, coming out of her mouth…

but nothing was

-„Ah, I sheee- said the Turtle - you caught the shnake disheashe?“

(-„Than we'll have to shwitch to telepathy…“ her head..

)- C.L. heard those words in


- she started to wander, and than realised -as you know, she was a

bright and quick learning kid -

(„… you mean- speaking like this, in

my head? I do that sometimes, with Mamma Gaia, and the Sea. winds and trees like to talk like that with me sometimes…“)

Even some

(-„I know, yesh.“)

(-„And I can even see pictures of things happening around the world, far away…)

-(„Yesh, that too. You have all you need already inshide you, dear, sho do all…jusht, and for the fun of it, we all shometime forget shome thingsh sho we can be happy when we dishcover them again. We all love

variety, sho we can either ushe telephaty or voish, but now you're telling me you losht yoursh?“)

- („Yes, it is quite unpleasant. That's why I came. They told me you are very wise, so I figured you can give me a wise advice on how to bring my voice back…“)

-(„It will come back, jusht give it time…“)

-(„Oh, but no, you don't understand, I need it NOW!“)

-(„Be patshient. I undershtand you jusht reshently had your shnail exshtracted, right?“)

-(„yes, and you know I even did not know it was there? feels kinda like little empty now…“)

-(„Hmmm…I shee…shnailsh can be tricky, indeed - you do not notice they harm you until shomeone removesh them for you… Shoo, girl, what shall we do? You want your voishe back?“)

-„YES, NOW!!“ – shouted Christa, and than covered her mouth with her hands in surprise.

Than she lifted her arms and started laughing and screaming

and jumping arround happily- „It's baaaack! I got it! I got it! I

got my voice back!“

((s he


(and she started singing her favorite song, that she heard so many times from her dream faery)

-„Ha, ha, I'm happy for you, you little shilly One.

I knew you'll

figure it out fast.“

-„Yes, I only needed to wish it strong enough, right?“

-„Yesh, you jusht got trapped in that dream for a while…“

-„So, you knew about my snake dream?“

-„Yesh, I shaw you had it…“

-„That one was funny. But I would not like to have it again. I would not like to be a snake. I prefere to be

this girl I am. Snakes are better in climbing trees and mountains, that's true, but I am getting better at that too, and I love to jump and laugh and I sooo love my voice, la la la la laaaaa la! Ah, yes, there's something more – what about that story about flying?

(„hm, now that I think about it, I don't even remember how I got here. How will I get back home?) – ( C.L. got a little worried.

„Well, for thoshe whingsh you'll have to shurprise me on the equnoksh, sholshtishe , you know… And for your pashage home, don't worry, everything ish ok, you are not losht.“

(the Turple replied to C.L.'s though, too)


„Aha, ok, shuper, I mean super. you Turtle!!“

You dig it? Haa. Thank

-„Don't even mentshion it, dear, all ish shwell, ekcshellent really. Jusht remember- everithing happensh for a reashon and the only thing you need to do when unushual, shtrange thingsh happen to you ish to go back into thish joyfull mood of yoursh – there you will find the sholutionsh you need…You shaw how quick

your voishe came back? Way to go, girl, you are a shtrong forshe!“

-„Yes I am, and I am needed. The world needs me just-the-way-I-am - the Voices often tell me so.

Thanks again Turtle, I go now, I remembered few more jokes I have to tell to my buddies. Actually, do you know the one about the snail and the turtle?“

-„Oh, haha, yesh, that'sh my favorite!“


(Oh, well, the Turtle knew that one, but since I know you are curious kids I'll tell it to you: a snail was slowly walking up a turtle's back. When he finally got on the top, the turtle started walking. „Weeeeee!“-

screamed the snail… Ta-da-dam! –that was the joke. What? No fun? Ah, nevermind, some things are funny and some are not. Perhaps I am not so good in telling jokes like C.L. or her


The Happiness Bird

-„Hi, birdy!“

-„Chip, chirp, chirp!“

-„I just got my voice back!“ the Happiness Bird.

- C.L. could not hide her excitement when she met


Chirp, chirp, chitipirp!“- replied the Bird - „So now we can sing together


-„But tell me something first– why do they call you Happiness Bird?“

-„Oh, nothing special - I only appear when kids are specially happy, that's all.“

-„A-ha! Coooool.

Yes, I am very very very veeeery

veeeeeeeeeeery happy now.

Let's sing!“

-„Chirp “ … … … … … … ………………..


-„AAAAAH! Sooo good, so gooood, sooooo gooooood!“ –C.L. was repeating it all day long, going arround the colony with a big mysterious smile she just could not take off her face. No other words she could find to describe it to the kids.

-„What happens when she goes to the sea?“- they were wondering -„… she always comes back so weird, so stupid, she gets on our nerves so much! - It's just not normal to be so smily all the time, and not doing

anything serious!“ („normal“ and „serious“ were some of the new fancy words they brought from the city, and were using them very often, playing at sorting out normal and not-normal, serious and not-serious things). Some of the kids that were deeper into the buysell game were complaining about C.L. and her „not-normal“ behaviour, although the younger ones loved

to see C.L. in that cheerful shiny mood. They were recognizing that same joy and playfulness in themselves, and together they were feeling even more happy, sometimes showing it with quite loud laughter, singing, running around, jumping and even screaming, and howling like wolfs, and THAT was making super-mad the „serious ones“

(that's how those that were sorting the „normal things“ were starting to call themselves)

-„What does the sea really do to you, C.L.?“- Doody, one of the more curious and brave kids finally asked what the others were just gossiping about, behind her back. Many were inventing theories of how and why it was dangerous to go even near the sea, not to mention swimming, which C.L. was apparently doing, too, sometimes. („Let her catch a cold, than she will have to take those shotes!“-they were


-„Not sure, I just know that we both experience very nice feelings each time we meet.

And sometimes when I swim it is very strange indeed, it feels as if I cannot

tell where the Ocean ends and I begin.

Do you understand me?“

-„No, not really,“- answered Doody - „honestly, it all seams spooky to me. I mean- you are you, I am I, the

sea is the sea…“

-„Yes, but we're also parts of that same Big Whole , and sometime we can be just that One and the same…I

think that's what the sea is teaching me…“

-„Still, it's pretty scarry to me. Aren't you affraid of loosing yourself? the sea eating you up?“

Or of

-„Oh, no, never. My little Me voice brings me back when I need it.“

-„Oh, cool, so now you even have a „little Me voice“? How many voices do you really have, than?“

-„Let's see- there's Little Me, which is the real, real, you know, Real me. Than there are the voices of the others, of my friends, kids, animals, trees, the sea, and actually all the

beigns I dream about (she skipped mentioning fairies, angels and Gaia. already had some bad experiences talking to others about them.


And to Doody can be hard to accept some things.

…especially if he cannot see them)

… you're all in there actually, I just don't speak with all of

you all the time… and with Little Me I must speak more often, that you can surely understand.“

-„Yes, that is normal.“- concluded Doody seriously.

-„Hmm…Anyway, there's also the voice of my Mom, too, of course.

Sometimes she and Gaia speak together, in the same Voice,

sometimes not, sometimes she comes through the Voices. My mom is from another planet, you know?“

-„Really? So-you are a real star-seed planted here?“

-„Nooo, silly, gotcha! I am joking, of course  But sometimes I do invent stories like that, it is called „immagination“, or „wishful thinking“ or „fantasynizing“. Well, you

know that song…“

-„Oh, so that's what „fantasy“ means? But I heard fantasynizing is not realy healthy? Actually, I thought it

must be dangerous and scarry, if it can dispell the dark! “

-„Who told you that?“ -„Those from the city. Also, those from the city told me it is not good to laugh a lot: Those from the city tell me I am laughing like crazy, and to stop because I will become mad soon. I don't understand them, really. But it sounds pretty scarry to me, too. There are so many words I have to learn.“

„Aufffffhhhhh, i meni su oni svašta rekli, al baš me briga!“ –C.L. replied a little annoyed -It feels good to me, actually super, and it does good to me. I'm never sad when I lough. And anyway, how many numbers it is, for those from the city? Also, fantavižonajzing does good to me. The Ocean calls it „collecting nice visions“. For example - I would really love to have a real Mom and

Dad, not just all these voices talking to me. So I immagine. All sorts of moms and dads I see. Some are

nice and some are not. And than sometimes Gaia really starts speaking to me like a real Mommy, she rocks me and hugs me with the bushes, and smiles to me through the flowers… She's really nice to me, I could not immagivisionize a

better mom…“

-„And do you know anything about us, the other kids in the colony? It is confusing not to know from where

we came from..“

-„I'm not sure, I can just immagine, but am pretty sure you're all here for a special reason, something special you have to do, as I am too. It is called „mission“ you know? Another cool new word, I like it.

The white beard guy told me mine is to bring joy and smiles to the people (especially the sad ones) and to remind everibody of the light they carry in their hearts.“

-„Cool. You told me that once, but I forgot. That is a nice thing to remember. And not a bad mission at all. Who knows “

-„Yes it is, and very useful, too, but even I forget it many times. For long I felt as if some fog was in my head and my heart and was hiding all my nice thoughts, but than I figured it was just my snail friend doing it (snails like him often do it, seems it is kinda their mission, they play the fattest snail wins)… Now he's gone, he had to go. They tell me he's not so skinny anymore. Sometimes I forget him, but I hear him often, every time I think of someting funny he laughs in my head.

The funny Boy helped me understand and remember and (what's the other word?

Memorizionize, something like that) sooo many things.


always someone arround that can help me remember and work together with me on my mission.

Therefore I'm not worried so much about it any more.

And you know what else? All the scarry stories that the grown ups in the cities are telling each other are invented by small groups of sick people that think they must scare all the others… It is silly really, but

they think that way they will make more money!“


-„Yes, crazy ha? That's what I call MAD. Going around sad and wantnig to be dead. So stupid. I think they have really big and bad snails in their bellies, you know, much bigger guzzlers than that little one of mine,

therefore they cannot think clearly…“

-„You mean they can make people into slaves just by telling scarry stories?“

-„Aha, yes, even wars, they do all for that stupid „money“…“

-“Now you've scared me!“

-„Yes it can be scarry, therefore you have to remember love is much stronger than fear, because the more scarry things you hear, the more fear it produces inside you and so more and more you seek protection and security outside yourself… than those that are already sick come with their buy & sell and winners/loosers games: buy this & you'll feel happy, buy that & nothing will scare you any more, be a winner-walk over the loosers..they call it commercials 

and in no time you pick their flue and that starts to be dangerous, 'cause you can turn into another slave

ready to work for those silly papers

with which they tell

you you can be happy and not affraid any more.

And than there are all those poisons to make you forget it alltogether, and all those boxes, ah, I do not want to talk or think about it ever again…“

-„Hmm…Never thought about it, but now that you say - I can see it happening to some of our buddies here too, right?“

-„Yes, the flue is catching up. forgetting their real brilliance and the beauty in which we live.“

They feed their snails and are


-„Sad, yes. But we're still on time, we've only just arrived on this funny planet to change that game, to start games that will make everybody happy, joyfull and fearless…“

-„Sounds like a lot and quite hard work is needed here…“

-„Aha, yes, but we're right on time and we have many more tricks to play.

Some I've even learned from my snail! ;)“

-„How can we do it?, after all- we're just small kids!“

-„Well, there are many little ways.

All that makes us happy is helpful. There are also

some strange games that look a little spooky but are actually super. example, we can joke out angers and grumpiness (you know when you remove them with jokes)


… or we can organize fear chase contests – like: you find some fear of yours and chase it untill you find the funny thought that will make that fear feel stupid and ashamed so

it will leave you and leave place for more funny and loving thoughts.“

- „Cool, let's make the other kids play it.“

-„We could try, but first you have to learn to play it well yourself, we must become very skilled in making

fun of our fears if we want to teach that to others.

Otherwise, if we're not profi,

we could all become veeery veeeery scaaared, so much so that we could become affraid to play any game ever again! We might than all become soooo seeerioussss, and we dont waaant thaaat to haaappen,


(C.L. was talking slowly, in a very

spooky low voice, her eyes wide open. spine.)

Goose bumps went down Doody's

-„Ah, Aha, you're right, we sure don't want that. Thanks, C.L., it feels like a fun game already, I go practice it now. I can make fun of my teet for starters, instead of feeling bad and

ashamed about them!“

„There you go, buddy, go for it! And I'll go make fun of my fear of falling for a while! !

The craws

-„Kraaaa, kraaa, kraaaa, we're always togetheeeeer, and we eat garbage togeeether and our girls are the best, and we eat rotten fruits and get drunk togeeeeetheeeer, and we even go to towns together, kraa, kraa, kraaa“- the craws were loudly singing their favorite song, as usual -kraaaing, burping and throwing

plastic at the passers–bye.

-„Heya, C.L. kraaaa! Long time no kraaa with you, come over, join us, we have some nice rotten fruit, it ferments fast, quite a blast! KRAAA!“

-„No, thanks crows, I have some things to do.“

-„Hmmm, we can see you don't like us any more!?“

-„Well, I do and I don't…“

- „Kraaa?“

-„I mean, I do respect the way you stick together…“

-„Yeah, kraaa, isn't it great, ha? Weee are Alwaaays togeeether, re-wind folks,

one more time, ready brothers and sisters?“

-„ …“

weee aree

-„… but in the same time you are loud and rude towards others that do not belong to your flock, and…“

-„Ho? You cannot say so – remember the other day when you had troubles with kids, we let you hang out with us!“

-„You did, all right, but you surely recall how you were mocking me loudly, as if I was not arround,

and many times I've noticed you gossiping behind my back with other craws and animals, and that is not a nice feeling, believe me!“

-„hmmm..but it was because you were puffed up, kraa!“

-„No I was not. I was just different. As I am now. You know I will never be a crow. But I wanted to be your friend. Not that I did not try, and while the snail was in my belly I almost started believing you're my best buddies!“

-„We were, who else was making you dance so much, kraa, say the truth, kraa! - even when you were sad and lonely? Kraa- admit it-we're the best fun arround!“

-„Yeah, ok, you are kinda fun, but your jokes are mostly offensive, and you are very loud & you spoil other birds songs, and you spit on everybody, it feels as if you all have some snails in your tummies and…“

-„Kraa, that is real fun!“

-„Hmm, not for me, it's not!“

-„Kraa, you used to like our songs!?!“

-„Gosh, yes, few times, but you keep repeating the same old songs over and over again! Sometimes I still like to sing with you, but not every day, it's too much for me, and…“

-„It's called tradition, babe, tradition is not dead, you have to keep the tradition alive. C'mon,

crew, let's hear one rewind for C.L., just so she gets in the mood again…

Weee're alwaaaaays togetheeeer…“


…“togeeetheeeer…“ (continued the craws their song and nobody noticed C.L. was gone. She

switched her mind to some of her songs)

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,



-„Hi, sea, can you help me?“

,,,Always,,,if I know how,,,

-„My tiny peacefull point, you know the one that is the real real Real me?“


-„It is somehow quiet lately, I don't hear her, almost at all…“

,,,Perhaps your thoughts are too loud?,,,

-„Ah, you might be right, I did notice I am becoming more and more of a thinker, and that worries me.

When I was really little it was easy to find my peacefull point, and we had so much fun. I would just be in that happy moment with it and would just grow and grow, feeling all the space around me and forgetting about this body of mine.

It was so simple,

babies are supposed to grow and be happy, same as flowers, trees, mountains…“

,,, Good point,,,

-„Aha, yes…and to grow up should be fun, too, but now I'm not so sure any more…The little me, now That

One was fun!

- I would just be there, doing

something I liked, like picking flowers, chasing rabbits, fallowing ants,

running through the fields, wetting my feet int he puddles, whatever, and it was all kinda fun and perfect, no thoughts were bothering me, I was just in awe for all that beauty Gaia gives us all the time…but now I have all these worries …“

,,,,,, ???,,,,,,,,

-„Well, you know it, I'm developing those capabilities… those things happening far away, and many are very sad…“

…I can see all

,,,Yes, learning about sad things can be very disconforting, even if nothing sad is really happening personaly to you ,,, but try fallowing your next better thought, for example- even when the day is not beautifully sunny like right now, and if you hear bad news, you can still lift your head up,,,

,,,,if you give it a try - there's always something nice going on in the sky,,,and cloud gazing is my favorite

passtime,,,don't know about you, but clouds and the sun always give me joy,,,

-„That is true. There are never two clouds that are the same…

But that does not solve my problem, my mind is still restless, I want to go back to my tiny peaceful point, but I cannot find it any more. How do I do that?“

,,,Just be still, dear One, be still,,,breathe with me, and we'll be there together in no time,,,

-„Oh, yes, dear sea, you'r so wise…and I am so silly, really, how can I forget That? When I calm down I always find it, it is Our tiny peaceful place. And we smile there together, aren't we?“

„Yess,,, - winks the sea with a happy wave - ,,,we are the Smile “


C.L. was just about to jump back down from the tree when her winged friend touched her with a feather.

-„Oh, what a surprise! What brings you here?“

-„A little cocoo just fell from the nest,

had to pick him up,

give him some balms.

I saw you before but your eyes were closed, so I did

not want to disturb…“

-„Ah, that was you?

I was doing some Sun-

breathing ... I thought I heard some bigger wings flapping. I hear many of your people are gathering lately, it seems some important things are going to happen?“

-„They are, it is already very lively in our flock. We're preparing to help mother Gaia in her birth…“

-„Wow! I did not know she was having a baby…“

-„Sure. She always gives new babies. We are all her babies, just this time it is a little different.The new Ones that are coming now will all be much more connected to her.

It is called telepathy.“

-„Oh, I know it, the Turtle told me, I can do that! And I can also sometimes see pictures of things happening around the world, far away…did you know that?“

-„Yes, you have a bit of those abilities, but theirs will not be just an ocasional thing.

New babies will be always aware of our Mother Earth. And they will teach the older ones, so very soon all will be able to speak to her, and listen to her wise advices, so we'll all finally get out of dark times.“

-„I can help them, too, not telepathized, right?“

I can translate their thoughts to others that are still

-„Ha, ha, yes, you just invented another good word!“ -„Telephatizing? Telephatization. And Telephatizeress- my new job title! Cool.“

– thought Lina, smiling at her thoughts (she loved inventing jobs she would like to do) Ah, I forgot to offer you something- please, have some coloured light and this pure water from the Fairy land. I know you'll love it. I just got back.“

-„You did not like it there?“

-„Oh, no, I like it a lot, that much I still recall. But I have few more things to do here, so I keep coming back… And than, you know how it is with faeries, their world fades fast in memory, so I always have to take something with me, to not forget I was there and to remeber I want to go back. („oh, Boy…ouch“-a short thought run through her mind, and she removed it fast, angels are

good telephats, and that thought she wanted to keep for herself!) It is not easy to explain, for example - each time I come back from the faery land I've got that good feeling…but I told you- I forget almost all that happens there so, if you ask me how it was, I am not really sure what to answer. That's why I stopped telling it to the kids, because then they mock me and say I'm a liar, and I'm

NOT!… but still… somehow (and do not ask me how, I just do) I feel as if what I experience there is much more real to me than all my life in the colony… Does it sound weird and

unbeliavable explained like that?- I mean- saying that something you forget is more real to you than this

„real“ here, I can see why some cabbage kids are avoiding me…“

-„Hmm, yes, it must be hard for you, but many do not believe even in us, because they don't see us.“ -„Ah, yes, those that does not believe unless they see…“

-„It is your choice, you either stay here and try to help the kids to stop their competition games, and you already know how hard it is for you sometimes, or you go back to enjoy the careless faery passtimes.

Whatever you decide, you know we're always with you…“

-„I would like to teach the kids the fair, fairy ways…“

-„Yes, that would be nice, but not many kids are ready for those win-win games... This world is full of distraction and destruction games, designed to make you forget your glow, or to even shrink it to each other…“

-„Oh, yes, instead of making it bigger!See? That's what makes me so angry, how easy it is to forget, over and over again! And how hard it is to make others remember the spark games…“

-„Sure, good that you notice that. But as you know anger hides some fears, too –so- ask yourself - what do you fear here? That you will not be able to help your buddies?“

-„Yes, and that I will completely forget my spark while trying to fight their ways, like I'm starting

already…“ -„You should be carefull, yes, but also not try so hard… fighting is not the best way to solve anything, actually- there is a saying that what you resist persist and might even get stronger. It means that, although you do see things you'd like to be different, you better do not think about them too much if you cannot find a good sollution at the moment. Better turn your attention to some more of your favorite things instead, like dancing, singing, laughing, inventing funny stories, songs, riddles, you know- all the things

that make your heart sing, for the kids and for your spark too, making it brighter…“

these are good medicine

-„Oh, yes, now I understand why I feel like flying when I'm happy - my spark is getting stronger and lighter,

lifting me up, right?“

-„There you have it, smarty, you get all your answers fast.., and when you get your „wings“ back, from a higher point you can more easily find new solutions and cures for the „problems“, too. They cannot be solved right there where they happen, anyway “

-„Talking about medicine - I believe the faeries have some good medicine for the sea that could help him

heal faster.

That's another reason to go back to them some more, to learn about

the cures for my dear sea - oooh, I'd so love to help him - I know he does not like to show it to me, but he does suffer from all that pollution!“

-„We're sure you'll find something good,

and together with

other kids you'll make the sea and momma Gaia shine brightly again.

Well ,they already are very proud of you and what you do!“

-„Something else came to my mind: I'd love to play with the kids like when I come out of the Sea, and the Sun sends some more light through me to Mamma Gaia and she smiles.

If I teach that to the kids, we can dance the light-puncture


jump and tickle her with light, oh, she will not be

able to stop giggling!“

-“Super idea!“

-„Aha, it is. By the way, angel, would you and your buddies like to visit me someday? I can make a party for you! And a chocolate cake!“


-„Chocolate is one of the things from the cities I realy, realy, reeely like. I mean-there are other things I like there, but not so realy…“

-„Wonderful, we realy love chocolate!“

-„I'll put some strawberries, too. See you soon, than?“

-„Of course, see you soon, dear, have fun!“


„Hi, Ocean, you're so cool today.“

,,,Aha, yes,,,,,I know I am part of something beautiful,,,

-„Yes, you are. And I am, too. I've danced last night, a lot, by the fire. Till dawn…

The sky was cloudless, a magic hat full of stars!“

,,,I know,,,,

-You know everything. We do not have to rush anywhere. I'll have some chocolate, want some?“


The cave

-„Ha, there she comes, quiet now…“ (the kids from the collony had finally found the cave in which C.L. was ocasionally hiding) – Booooo…“ (all at ones they started shouting when C.L. got near the entrance of the cave)

„Oh, you are here! You really scared me!!“

„Eeee, ho, ho, he, he, we did, we did, hahahaha!“(the laughter running through the cave sounded a little base)

-„It's great you found the cave, it is super, right? I've called so many times but you did not want to come.“

„Well, it's not really super. It's just a cave, like any other cave.“ (they were already behaving as if they saw many more nicer, bigger and more magical caves, and they did not!)

-„Now we can play.“ – C.L. was cheering.

-“Oo, no, the cave is now OURS. You don't think you can keep it all for yourself, do you?“

„No, of course not, but…“

„No BUT, go now, we'll have a mall here now, and a school,

and when we get bored of this place perhaps you

can return. Or, (Dudi whinked to the others) you can pay to enter.“

-„Ah, well, no thanks.“- said C.L. forgivingly peaceful. go to the sea.“

–„Than I

„Go, go and you can drown there, we don't care, hahahaha“ – the kids continued with mocking jokes about her, and she heard their mocking laughter in her head long after she left the cave.


-„Hi, sea, I'm sad.“

,,,Too bad,,,

-„This wind says I'm late, and the Ice Age is comming quickly…“

,,, Yeah, you did miss few days of spring,,,

-„It is supposed to be summer.“

,,,Always, yess,,, But lot of other influences mix their intentions in,,,seasons do not have much to do with it, they come and go and come again on schedule,,,

-„Yes, yes, it's got nothing to do with springs.

Actually , I don't even know where I'm

late to. I forget, forget, forget, ufff, it makes me so mad!

When days like this one hit me I do not know who I am not even what the weather is and what am I really supposed to do… I really, really do try spreading that story that we're all „the light

and love of the world“ but many times it does not feal real to me. often seem very dark and I feel that even in me there is no joy left…I don't get it!“

Many humans

,,,Oh, c'mon, it is just one of those days,,,, we all have them,,,, besides, it's not about getting it, but about seeking it,,,, you're just affraid of the new,,,

-„What new? It all seems like same old stories, broken, scattered and patched back again in some weird, just

seemingly „new“ ways. No fun.“

,,,,shushhhh,,,just breath and listen to me,,,,,,, another chance,,, and come in my embrace,,,

Give the Sun

,,,,,,,,,,,,We will make you smile again fast, you'll see,,,


,,,,and if weeping need be,,,

,,,,cry your tears in me and come out free,,,

-„Geee, how easeee““

,,,He, he, he, see? splash,,,

The snail

-„I never dissapeard, really“- said the snail to C.L. next time they've met – „so, stop thinking about me, I'm fine, just my role in your tummy was over, that's all…“

-„Good to hear it, I was worried about you…“

-„I know, that's why I came to calm you. You know how we snails are resourceful-no panick, no problemo! Life is good, I AM The Snail and everybody loves me. I can always find some funny solution, and a new belly, or at least few good tricks untill I find some.“

-„Oh, yes, that's why I love you so much, I never felt you were bad to me while you were in my belly, really. Just sometime I was feeling that slimy sadness, but am not sure was it from you, or from me, or from the other snails that wee mocking you about not being a „real snail“ like them. Like- you don't care about your house, and roam around without it!“

-„Haa, they don't know how big my house is!“

-„Yes, with the roof made of stars! Many times it was sooo funny and amuzing, with all the jokes you were inventing, but now I understand I was loosing myself through listening to you too much. They told me I need to learn that „boundary“ thing, cause I become the beign I like, so there's almost no „me“ left. I'll have to think about it. Looks like that's what happened to me with you, too. -I could not even find my jokes any more, one and only when listening to you…Now at least I know how you look like.“

-„Haa, yes. Loosing yourself in someone else is not a good life-tactic. You do have few jokes, too. Some are funny and some are not. The rain falls or it does not. But it still is, the rain. I did not like it either, you turning into me…“

-„Yes, must be those „boundaries“ thing, I still learn those.-So…. we're both better off this way, right?“

-„Aahm…well yes, I guess… Want my last slimy snail-kiss? You know how healing it is.“

-„Oh, you silly jokster…I just wanted to talk with you, so many things happened since we parted...“

-„SHUT UP! I don't want to hear!“

(if he had arms you'd had seen him tapping

his ears with them)

-„Aaaehm, all right…I can see you're still a little curse with me, right?“

… (no reply)

-„Ok, I can shut up, if you so wish, but we'll talk some more someday, right?“

The snail was quiet, but C.L. heard his answer in her head: (yes. Just leave me be, I cannot focus on my snailiness when you're arround, I hear just your jokes, as if you were my one and only source-ress of

jokes, haa!“)

That wise snail is the faster she'll ever meet , quite a telephat, too, and sooo funny, no wonder C.L. still soooo misses his company…but than again… („You know, snail, I'm starting not to

be so affraid of telepathizing with you, so it's not always so clear to me what truth is, when do I hear you for real and when I only make up a talk with you, but that cannot possibly be so

dangerous as having you in my belly, right?

–„Wanna bet? Fine, girly, than now we can practice telepatization, too, we can talk every day, through the heart net. that way we'll have few more good laughs ;) But now you fantavisionize a little, or we can move to some other time, cause here I have a couple of other callers waiting…)

The Owl

The wise owl Prometheus was just about ready for his good day sleep after another long night of chasing

shadows & mices when he bumped into C.L. She was in the middle of her morning „brushing the hair to Momma Gaia“ routine, which was how she called her running through the woods & climbing & jumping from the trees. The squirrels, butterflies, rabbits and birds were all arround her. Quite a merry company gathered and they were cheering at each of

her jumps…


-„Oh hi, Owl! – said she, cheerfully, while taming her tousled hair.

-„Hi, C.L., how are you today?“ (Asked the Owl, while the cheerleaders went about their business)

(actually, I just wanted to put few more funny animal pictures here)

-Nice. I feel almost like an eagle.“C.L. replied.


-„Yes, my jumps from trees are getting better and better. It is the closest I came to flying, eccept for that time when I was little and my eagle friend Carlos gave me a ride- boy, that was fun! Oh, I so miss him. Who

knows where he is now…“

-„Ooohoo. k. …just don't eat my liver, haha!“

-„…?... Excuse me, I got distracted, was it a joke? Please explain, I so love jokes and hate it when I don't get them…“ –said C.L. confused, as if she just forgot something.

-„Well, it's that old story… About a man that stole the fire to the Gods to give it to humans.“

-„Oh, a noble intent. Fire is useful in many ways!“

-„Yes, but it can also be very dangerous.“

-„I know, do you know I've even dreamt I was fire once?“

-„Really? That must have been wierd?!? In any case, the Gods (beside beign just plain jealous & posessive), they thought humans were not ready for it…“

-„Hmm, posessive? Another difficult word…“- noticed C.L.

-„It means they wanted to keep all the fire for themselves… Nevermind…The point is they chained that Prometheus guy, btw -that was his name…“

-„Ah, like yours…“- finally she understood the Owls joke.

-„Yes. They've chained him to a mountain and let his liver be eaten by an eagle…“


-„Aha, and the worse is that each day the liver would grow back anew, so more pain he had to endure again

and again…“ -„Oh, this is not a nice story, I don't want to hear the rest!“ – said C.L. laudly, tapping her ears with her hands…


-„But now I get your joke…“

-„Yeah, funny ha, little eagle? Btw, C.L. What is your real name?“

-„Christa Lina. My mom gave it to me, at least so the Voices told me – said C.L. with a quizical, amuzed look (the fact that she now has a secret to keep, and that she was able to practice it made her kinda proud…so far she simply never succeded not to share emediately all she heard or that came to her mind, and to the first being that was arround and ready to listen! Ok, perhaps something about the Boys he still kept for herself.)

-„Ah, and where she is?“

-„The angels tell me she and daddy are now very busy healing momma Gaia and her Oceans. Oh, no, now I

told you my secret!“

-„What secret?“

-„That I have real parents…“

-„All kids do have them…“

-„Yeah, well, anyway, mine have a big mission now. Gaia is going through big changes and needs a lot of help, you know, so my old folks („I so like calling them this way, haa“- thought C.L. with an inner smile), they left me in the colony with my cabbage buddies. Our parents felt it is a fairly safe place for kids.“

- „Must be. Sounds like a wise solution. cities, yes.“

Many dangers for the star kids in the

-„Aha, that's what I've been told many times: „Beware of the big cities and the big bad humans!“ But, from

what I've seen so far there are many nice people there, too.“

-„You're right. Life is never completely good or bad. But, as all caring parents, yours also try to protect you, perhaps sometimes too much.“

-„True. But mine are nice- they let me try all I want and need to know and I still feel their silent gentle


Therefore I do not have fear.“

-„It is nice to know that we live in a caring universe, yes, and that these dark times on Earth are but a short

phase that will soon be over…“

-„Ah, I'm so glad you've said that…I so need some encouragement because sometimes I get those doubts &

fears, must be from that fear flue that is spreading from the cities. Therefore now I do not go there very often, not unless I feel really, really good. When I do, I go and spread my best smiles and all feels less scarry – I offer my little inner spark and I am happy when I see it returned back from another smiling face. That surely chases fears away. Like yesterday- one passer-by nodded & whinked to me & said: „Have a nice day!“ Could have been an angel, too. They do it sometime, they like to disguise as humans and surpruse me when I start driffting into some worries…“

-„Oh, dear, you're such a talker! (yawn) Don't you ever get tired of words?“

-„Haa, you're a funny owl. Tired of them? Never. I love words. But I love silence, too, just cannot play it long. Btw, don't you worry, I would never eat your liver, I do not eat meat you know?“

-„Oh, good girl. Good to know. Now I'm peaceful again, I was so scared of you.“

-„No, you were not.“

-„Oh, please, just go now & play with some other birds, and we'll talk again soon, ok?“

-„You're right, I can sometimes be a „liver eater“ with my curiosity.“

-„Don't worry, you can eat my liver anytime, you're a nice little eagle and your curiosity bites do not hurt.“

-„Haa, thanks owl. It was nice talking to you, but I see you must be very sleepy now…“

-„Yes ( yawn), I really have to sleep now, otherwise my feathers will start to fall off.“

-„Haa. Sorry I've distracted you from your dreamtime. A good day sleep to you, owl, bye!


,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,there's only One here now,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


-„Hey, C.L., where are you lately? I miss your cheerful questions…That game of yours: Mommi, mommi, here & now I want to know…“

-„Eeheya, mamma Gaia! I'm glad you're calling me. Was I rude? I did not feel like talking to you lately, not even with the Sea, I had some really, really heavy thoughts on my mind & did not want to bother you with those. I know how many troubles you must go through now, you don't

need my silly questions, and they are not so important really...“

-„You're sure?“

-„Well, there is that One question that feels quite important, at least to me, but than I'm not sure if I can

explain it to you clearly…“

-„Try me.“

-„Hm, let's see. I guess it has to do with Carlos, the eagle.

He was a veeery good

friend of mine and now he is gone and will never come back. They told me he is dead now, the Owl

somehow skipped the answer when I asked him where did Carlos go…. Than again, I did see plants & trees and few animals die, even saw their sparks leaving, and I've heard many

stories about death, but this time it feels different, it hurts me a lot that I'll not be able to laugh with Carlos ever again, his laughter was so special to me. I sometime knew he was approaching just by hearing him laugh in the sky. He was such a funny eagle,

always laughing while flying! change. I did not understand him back than.“

The last thing he told me was that he has to

-„Oh, I see, dear. Yes, death is quite a confusing game. Although you know we're all eternal Boh sparks, still some of the sparks become more dear to us than the others and we miss

them much more when they're gone, that's true.

Where the

sparks go, you ask? beings that are comming or leaving me meet.

Well, there is that Heaven Mountain where

Something like airports and railway stations humans build, but where they go next from me I do not know, and what happens afterwards is a mystery to me also. Sometimes I even wander will I be a planet next, or something completely different.

But I suppose your real question is: Why death is needed, why did the One Boh invented it in the first place?“

-„Right on, you read my mind so well, Gaia dear.“

-„You know, I ask myself that same question over and over again and am not sure will I ever be able to come up with a satisfiing answer. I guess variety and appreciation of life are some of the reasons.

See, I think Mother Nature wants these life/death cycles to be there so we can learn about change, about Her endless creative capability to invent ever new life forms and than that bit about time and how precious each passing moment really is.“

-„Yes, that sounds true.“

-„I know you can understand that tricky bit- what better way to learn of the beauty and value of the NOW moment than when it is spent with loving friends, and than gone forever?“

-„You're right. I'll remember that next time when I'll be sad about Carlos.

Or, better still – I'll remember Carlos when I'll play with my

other friends and we will laugh like he used to.

Oh, what a laughter that one


-„There you have it, little One. See how good it is to share your secret thoughts – do you feel a little better now?“

-„Oh, yes, much better, dear mamma Gaia.

And how are you?“ -„Wonderful! I'm birthing a new me soon.“

-„Yes, so I've heard. Must be exciting. Are you scared. Can I help you somehow?“

-„Aha, it is, very, excitingly scarry. All of you can help me not to panick and to keep the fate in my true Nature, in a way that you do it too, yourself. And in case some serious trouble starts

And in case some serious trouble starts, just hold each other's hands, that way you'll hold me, too, and that will give me courage and strenght  .“

„Super! I'll remember that. No problemo, mamma Gaya“-said Lina while playing with a nice colorful leaf in her hand. -„ I love your leaves in fall. Each is special. O.K., flowers are amazing too, but autumn leaves and snow flakes are my favorite pieces of art. Well, we can add cloud art, and peacock feathers aaand…

… and the patterns the sea does with his waves are also amazing…

ah, all sorts, so much beauty! Anyhow, quite an artist you are, mommy Gaia.

-„Thank you, dear, I know, and I love it, too.“

I know the new you will be marvelous, too.

Although I love you as you are now. (C.L. paused for a second, with a thoughtfull look, and tham continued) -„Aaargh. Who am I kidding? You know me so well. I'm sure you've noticed I've skipped into small talk. I do it sometimes when I avoid real questions. But now I feel I have to tell you this: I have a weird double feeling. A part of me says all will turn out to be marvelous, but all these stories about you changing give

me fears, too.But, you're right, if we hold hands all will be fine.

And you can always

call me if you need any help.“

-„You can comb my hear now, if you wish…“

-„All right, yesss!Carlos!“

so I'll fly some more,


,,,,,Tanker ship,,,,,

-„ Oh, no, not again!“ – C.L. could not help but be angry when she saw how the sea was poluted again that

day. – „That tanker ship must have thrown out some more of their garbage, how can you stand them, Sea? If I were you I would make big waves & drawn all these ships that pollute you!“

,,,Ha, ha, I'm sure you would, you wild kid! ,,,but that is not my way,,,, I know I am eternal,,,,and I'm just a little drop in the big universal ocean,,, so I let them spoil my waters, because that is something they have to learn- that all these bad things they do to me and Gaia they really do to themselves,,, We're all connected, you know it well,,,

- „Oh, yes, especially when I swim, and dive. It is soooo gooood to feel big as you are, dear Ocean, but than that's why it all hurts me so much, too.“

,,,,Worry and sadnes had never solved any problem,,,, and besides, kids should not suffer any pain, nor


-„Oh, yes, my snail told me that many times. He's so full of joy.“

,,,and you should be more joyful, too,,,you're starting to behave like a grown up sometimes, more and more

worries in your little head! ,,,

-„ That is true, I do not like thinking a lot,

it gives me headaches if I sqeeze my

brain too much.“

,,,See? That's what I'm telling you,,,, Don't worry, be happy,,,, Think happy thoughts, I guaranty you they will not bring you headache,,,I know all the polution that surrounds us will one day be solved, I can feel it,,, the shift is happening,,,,

-„ What bothers me are the people that play collecting money. That game is making them blind, they do not see the beauty they spoil with their greed – they do not see the difference between your happy crystal clear waters and this murky mess they did to you today!

Aaaargh, I get so angry and impatient, sea, I loose all my happy thoughts when I see you this way, when you're sick I am sick, too!

And I feel we do not have much time left…“

,,, Stop panicking! Concentrate on your mission, remember? You cannot solve all the troubles in this

world,,,at least not all at once ,,,

-„Panic? Well yes, mamma Gaya thought me that word, it means big fear…I was joking with her, but now I

see it catches me, too, when it seems to me I do not help enough!“

,,,trust me,,,people are starting to understand that it all starts with them, and they do help, in many tiny ways that just seem „not enough“, more and more people do show they care, that way, together, the shift


-„What you speak about is not some ordinary shift, right?

Not like when

I jump from one rock to another or from a little wall…??“ ,,,aehmm,,,no, not like that at all,,,,but it is not easy to explain those shifts in consciousness,,,and your little head is already cramped enough,,,just relax,,,and if you want to help you can allways add your happy

spark! , ,,,you may think it's not enough, but it makes all the difference. Love sparks dispell panick for sure. Bang bang bang and the panic's gone,,,woooot, ho, ho,,,,,

(weird, C.L. saw some smoke comming from the water, could it be the Sea was playing some tricks?) Besides,

when you become an expert time-traveller you'll be able to solve quite few problems,,, Actually, you alredy did, always, ha, ha,,,, splash,,,

-„Well, yes, sometimes I go inside my mind and I immagine a happy and healthy future time where kids

will be able to make all kinds of amazing things just by thinking about them. funny, yes, I almost forgot that, funny things are veeeery important to me.“


,,,,ooo YES,,, most serious indeed,,,

-„You know what was I fantavisioning the other day? A joke rally-like-who will invent the fastest joke.The kids in the future liked it. The winner said oooom,in such a funny tone. We were all rolling through the air from laughter. Future kids float around, you know? And they travel in baloons!“

,,,They do? I did not know, but now I do,,,So,,,there you go- you've already started your time-travelling

practice,,, „Did I? I did not notice, it is just something Gaia was teaching me, I would not call it time travelling really…Perhaps timetravelvizuation..hmm, I'll think about that one. I

have time. Time knows when to be.“

,,,But it is so- I'll tell you a secret: all you see arround you was once first in someone's phantasy, someone was seeing something that has not yet,,,

_“…come to it's time? (C.L. finished the sentence, although she was not shure if it had any sense. The Sea

and the Sun laughed at her brilliantly.)

Wow, never thought about it, but it does sound true. Now I remembered another thing: The other day a tree

baffled me –it said I've planted it! I thought it was kidding me, now i'm not sure… So, what do you say- I have to be careful where I travel in my thoughts?“

,,,Very careful indeed,,,,Like flowers, thoughts need to be nourished very caefully.

In fact, that is your main task- to take care of the garden of your

thoughts, so they can grow nicely,,,

,,,especially the phantasies about

your future, the more happy ones you'll be able to come up with, the nicer your present

will become, you'll see,,,


„What if I immagine a world without all those dirty ships and cars and other things that make Gaia and the air and the waters sick, will it ever happen?“

,,,If enough kids share these same phantasies,,, yes, one day that can become reality,,

-„Cooool! I do immaginize a lot of different vehicles and tools that do not pollute, or that can clean all that is messed up, but I cannot immaginize how they work. I think that for that I should go to some special schools?!“

,,,not really,,, you don't have to invent, explain or make it all by yourself,,

,Immagine other kids that will make such things,,,

Oh, of course, YES, how simple.

Simple solutions are the

best ones.

Sometimes I'm so silly, how didn't I figure

it out? –C.L. slapped herself on her head - I see now, Sea, you're such a wiz-magician – it is as if you give me wings -you turn my anger into happiness in a blink of an eye, and you're so wise, did I ever tell you that?“

,,,Yes, many times,,,

-„Ah, your memory is better than mine, and now that I think about it- you must even remember me from my future time-tavels already, right?“

,,,Sure, we travel together,,, That one is still tricky to you, ha?,,,

-„Yes, so many questions start rushing through my mind when I start thinking of time travel.

So than I loose my patience and my thoughts run in so many dirrections in the same time and than, instead of remembering at least one good question, I end up loosing them all. (you know, the kind of questions that have the answers in them, those I need if I want to help and if I want to be succesful in my mission!)

Therefore I do not think much about these time travel complications.“ (oh, I so love it when C.L. speaks so fast, that means she's happy with her new thoughts)

,,,Great,,,That's the best way,,,You do not have to understand everything,,, -„But I do wonder about some of my memories. A dinosaur is not really from our time, nor are those pyramids, right?“

,,,Nooo,,, they are from the past,,,??,,, (the sea would have put up a curious eyebrow if it had one, waiting for C.L.'s next question)

-„Bu that dragon lady I once met in my cave

, and faery people,

I cannot figure from when they

came from…“ ,,,ah, everyone knows that dragons and faeries are creatures out of time,,,

I tell you - do not bother figuring out all,,,

Just fallow what feels right to you, stick with immagining nice things and you'll see how you'll get your right questions when you'll need them,,,

-„Yes, that's how I do it! When I immagine my head stop hurting about how things work right or what is good and what bad, you know, all that choosing, it confuses me…and I do not want to feel guilty for being jolly even when others are not and even though I see the world is full of sad things.

I've figured that I cannot help, not even a bit, if I'm not happy.

So I want to remember to give myself permission to be joyfull as much as I can, even if everyone tells me I should not do it! Do you

understand me?“ ,,,sure, that's it. And after all, you're still a kid,,,, even the grown ups, as you surely noticed, do not understand many things,,,although many like to pretend that they always know what is right and what is wrong,,, and there's always new things to learn, so do not worry,,,

-„ok, but you know what? I still cannot stand seeing you the way you look today. Now I'll close my eyes and meet you in some future time where you are sparkling and clean, and I'll jump and splash into you and we'll have fun with dolphins and the singing fishes…“

,,,Great idea!,,,

-„See you in the future, than ;) „

,,,,see you,,;),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


-„Yeah, right, so now you even want to convince me that you are talking with some „angels“, and that you

travel through time, too? Now, THAT is too much!“

-„But I do!“

–replied C.L. to Doody while he was getting more and more impatient with her.

-„You think I am stupid? You know what - you do not listen to anyone else but yourself, and you do not like our games and you want to play „saviour“ to all of us normal and Serious kids, like if We were not

normal! …and that is NOT normal, how can't you see that - if everibody says it- you have to finally see

YOU are not normal!“

-„I never played „saviouress“ and the colony is not „everybody“, please, listen to me!“

-„No - you listen to me for a change! It was bad enough to listen to your stories against the town life, and against our buy and sell games, but now you are really too much.“

-„I was not „against“, I just say what I see...“

( Dudu gave her a quizical, „dare you, show me what you see!“ look)

-„I see you forgot all other games“

-„Oh, c'mon, Wake up, girl, you've lost touch with reality! You're fadeing in some invisible worlds noone

else sees but you!“

-„But there is more in the invisible than…“

-„Oh, SHUT UP! Understand this: Towns are real and working for money to buy stuff is real, and it is real and NORMAL to go to school and to grow up and to go to work and to buy

things, and…“

-„Ok, I'll think about that school thing!“

-„No, that's not the point! You don't listen to me! And it is not normal to believe in all these silly things you're talking about and , and you don't listen to me and, and it is not normal and the thing is you don't listen to me and…(Doody was repeating words when he was very angry)… and that …

…and that shows you're just scared of it all, and so you avoid it by hiding in your

immagined worlds!“

-„But there is something in immagination… verge of tears, but Doodi did not want to hear her…

“- Lina tried to explain, already on the

-„No „buts“, SHUT UP! I don't want to hear.

I don't want to talk to you about

the invisible and the imaginivizuation, and time-travelization aaand…


actually, you know what? I don't want to speak to you never, ever again!!!“

Edgi ,,,,,,,

,,,,,Hi, little Lina!,,,, splash,,,,

(looong silence),,,,,,,,

,,,,,,,, don't tell me,,,you're sad again?,,,,

-„No, I am angry, don't you see? I'm mad, I'm raving, I sooo hate it when I'm like this, when I cannot come back into my good happy mood. Uffff, this is sooo baaad, I hate it,I hate it,

I hate all the world, I hate HIM!“

,,,Splash! Wait, wait, wait! Breath & tell me what's going on?,,,

-„I cannot! Don't you hear me? I'm MAAAAD!“

,,,oooo.k. yes, I understand that much, but who made you so angry? ,,,

-„That stupid old bearded fart!“ ,,,,,Ooohohoho! wait a sec, little girl, and watch your anger- you cannot talk like that about my friend! Actually, it is rude to talk like that about anyone, no matter how angry you are- Remember? – „Do not treat others the way you do not want to be treated yourself“,,,

-„Yeah, yeah, ok, you're right, troubles I have!“

but he really IS guilty for so many

,,,I'm sure he's not.,,,

-„Yes he is! He told me to remember I am to BE the light of the world and to teach others that they are too and all will be fine, but the more I try the worse it gets and the more people hate me!“

,,,Oh, this is just your anger and hurt talking from you. You know it is not true,,

,it cannot be,,,

-„Yes it is, everybody hates me in the colony now, they consider me crazy and mock me. Like- „ha,ha –

look- there's C.L., our light, how are you, your Majesty?!“ –and than they all start bowing & laughing & making all sorts of other offensive jokes about me, and daring me to

enlighten them, and to „prove it scientifically“. They so love to bring up that new word they've learned, „scientifically“- they say I cannot „prove it scientifically“ that the spark


,,, Smart asses, they just like to play smart asses,,, (even the seagulls got annoyed when they heard that¨!)


-„Right! Like, the other day - when I wanted to explain to them something about my time-travelling discoveries, they said I am a lyer, and that I just hide in my cave, because I am scared of their games, and that I am a looser, whatever that word means, I did not like the tone with which they were speaking...

So I just run away from them…“

,,,forgive them for they don't know what they're doing,,, (the Sea said peacefully, but C.L. was too bussy telling it like it is, so she did not hear anything) -„…Even from Doody, and he was the last that I was still able to speak to lately! Ooooh, it is all so WRONG! Perhaps I am not really mad, but they're right in one thing: I do avoid them more often, not because I am scared of them but

because that way I can be alone with Gaia, she always treats me kindly and comforts me nicely…“

,,,Yes, well, I see it is true, you're going through some hard time, but I also know it will soon be over,,,

-„No it won't, it is getting worse every time I come near the colony, I even think of leaving for good,

(not to mention those baaad voices in my head telling me I

am a stupid no good shit and I shoud kill myself!)“

,,,Oh, what do my waves have to hear from you?

,,,, thinking like that any more, or I'll have to bring one of my tsunamies, than you'll see what real fear is! Tsunamies are my kind of anger, haha, splash,,, when you experience them, than you see how precious your life really is! Now you made me angry! don't you ever try these thougts again,

don't you DARE



-„Can't help it, (answered C.L. after coming out of the wave with which the Sea covered her) it is all stronger than me. I feel like a failure, I think that is what „looser“ means actually, must be I am one such, after all, and they are right…it seems to me that mission the old one gave me was never ment for me in the first

place, I'll never be able to complete it!“

,,,,now, now, now, Little Lina, „failure“ is a big word for a child, and you do not understand it yet, so don't

you use it, as well as „not complete“,,, completely done (the Sea smiled at that thought)

,,,,, Perfection

is never

,,,did you think your mission was something that can ever be completed? And that you will be left to do it all by yourself? How naive of


-„Sometimes I do feel very lonely, yes. But than, always when it gets really really hard, some help comes, that's also true.“ –(„another important thing I so often forget, ooooohononono“-C.L. was whining in her

little head)

,,,No breath is ever alone,,, I can see you got something a little wrong here, I'm sure my white-bearded friend, nor anyone else, did not tell you it is going to be easy all the time, only that it will be worth it and that you will succede ,,, Everything is hard

before it becomes easy,,, ,,,but ok, I know you're just a little girl and the hugeness of that beautiful mission of yours can be overwhelming sometimes,,,besides, to awaken your

spark and be the light and teach it to others does not mean you have to teach that to those that do not want

to hear you,,,

-„Uff, yes, when I try the most they tell me I'm boring!“

,,,Ah, haha,,, you can be a pain to me too,, sometimes,,,


,,,just joking, you're my favorite little bully!,,,

-„I'm not a bully!“

,,,Yeah, well, whatever,,,,surely it does not mean you have to be cheerful all the time and that you always

must make people laugh and feel wildly happy!, ,,stop trying to please everyone, int hat you will never succede,,,and especially stop trying to solve their problems,,,that would be too easy for them – how would they ever learn anything that way?,,,

-„I get it. Good to hear it.“

,,,Yeah,,,still - I can see you already did spread a lot of your joy arround,,, ,,,do not be discouraged with few bad days,,,all is connected,,,although it does not seem so,,,and all will eventually fall into it's rightful place,,, Understand, believe it - you have helpers, even if you do not see many of them,,,, anyway, most of the work you will not have to do in this world or in this time,,,and you're never

too late to have the past you dream of



(the Ocean laughed quizically. C.L. did not respond, she was

listening attentively, but so many other thoughts were runnung thrugh her head, too) ,,,it is true, when you are sad or angry like this, you have to first think of bringing yourself back into your real cheerful

mood,,,Your quiet center,,,

-„My tiny peaceful happy point?“

,,,Yes, you can call it like that, too,,, she's very curious, she knows how to turn your eyes to the sky, she makes you sing, jump, run arround, find new lighter words,,,all things that make you brilliant again,,,

,,,and if you feel you cannot do it alone, you can always call me, I can always splash you in the face to wake you up, haha,,,, or call Mamma Gaia or your mom and

dad, of course,,,

-„What do you mean? I do not have parents!“

,,,Sure you do, silly, all kids do, just some, like the cabbage kids parents, are not in this world. I'm sure the angels and fairies thought you there are much more things in the invisible than in this visible world we're

in now?!?,,,

-„Yes, but…“

,,,Well, your parents are now in the invisible and they have some very important things to do, helping Gaia,,,

-„Really? Oh, I knew it!“- (C.L. started clapping hands and jumping wildly all arround the rocks, the sea had

to splash her with a wave to calm her a little!) SPLASHHH! „Haa! I knew it, I knew it, I-KNEW-IT! (the watery slap she did not even notice, she just sat down on the rock now, dabbling on the surface with her lags) I was phantasizing about it many times, like - my mom & dad are some kind of super-heroes, and one day they will come for me and they will solve all the sad things in this world and we'll live happily ever after!“

,,,And that's exactly what is happening!,,,

-„You mean you know my parents?“

,,,Yes, don't you know them, too? ,,,

-„Oh, tell me, please, don't tease me, this is too important to me!“

,,,It's easy, really,,, (the seagulls became very curious now) ,,, you know the Voices that thought you how to speak and that give you helpful clues sometime?,,,

-„Yeees?“ (C.L.'s eyes and mouth opened wide and her eyebrows went wildly up!)

,,,They are fairies,

Earth Keepers!,,,

-„Wow, wow, wow, wow!

Of course - the Voices!“

,,,Right.That's them,,,

-„ Oh, YES! How did I not figure it out before!

The angels gave me some clues, and

the Boy, too, and it is all kinda obvious and logical

- after all- I have a fairy


,,,ah, yes, she's your real granny,,,

-„Super! (C.L. made one of her biggest joy-jumps)

Oh, how I love her. She told me the Big One is called Boh, although there are so many other names. And that Boh loves to play with names. Well, all sorts she thought me really!“

,,,Yes,,,me t,,,,Yes,,,me too,,,,She's not so secretive like the rest of the faery people, so she sometimes ignores the strict faery rules and crosses the faery borders to sneak near you and keep you company here,,, she just can't help it, the old adventure girl, she loves you so much,,,

-„Oh, my dear granny, yes, and she gives me funny dreams, too, you know? Still, mom and dad could have

told me!“

, ,,,They could not, the faery rules are strict,,,besides, they did not want to upset you and make you feel even more lonely, therefore each of your visits to faery land you had to forget. So they let you think of them

just like Them, the Voices you hear since you were born,,

-„Well, this is so exciting, and sad in the same time. I have to leave you now, sea, have to call them, I have so many questions for them. Actually, I am a little angry with them, too.“

,,,Don't! They love you dearly. I am sure you'll undestand their reasons,,,-the Sea was telling her few more

nice things but she was already gone… („When life is asking of you to become more of who you really are, are you going, willingly?“- she remembered she heard that question somewhere, YES!-she jumped, and than she started calling the Voices in her mind: „Super-Mom, Super-Dad, I KNOW EVERYTHING NOW, where are you,



-„Heya Mommy/Daddy! I'm so glad I now know who you are. Can I tell the kids? Because they were mocking me when I would tell them the Voices told me something…“

-„Hi, our dearest! Perhaps it is still better to keep it for yourself for now. Don't worry, you've got plenty of

time to succede in all you need to do…“

-„Are you sure? Many times I feel I'm late and, bessides forgetting things, that is my main problem…“

-„No problem there, one of the things you'll learn soon is how to travel through time, so you'll be wherever you need in no time , haha “

-„Ah, the sea just mentioned something about it, that IS good news. And I can see I do travel already, in my dreams and phantasies, but I know I'll need few more lessons there. Who will teach me about it, you?“

- „Yes, along with many other exciting things you'll learn from us and others. But first, it is important you understand you're eternal, so you do not worry about time “

-„Eternal? Sounds like I heard that word somewhere already. Another complicated one for my complicationistical collection, what does it mean?“

-„You'll learn when the time comes, ha ha, now just go and have some fun with the kids…“

-„Actually lately I am avoiding the colony kids. They've learned another tricky word in the city- „crazy“, and they call me crazy now, they say it is because I am not like them, because I talk with trees, clouds, angels, birds, fairies, the sea and the Voices.

They say normal cabbage kids are not supposed to do that...Immagine if I mentioned time-travel to them. Oh, They would jell sooo loud at me, I bet they would

send me away again, or even throw rotten apples at me!“

-„Oh dear!“

-„…and than I fear I will give in to their „truth“ about me beign crazy. In that case I might even start to work against my own spark- immagine! Actually, I immagine that more and more often, no fun at all.“

-„Oh, no, this is now serious, you must stop with these fears RIGHT NOW! The only real crazy thing is all that lives without love.“

(not hearing the last sentence, C.L. just continued with her lament) -„…the worse is they are keeping the

little One away from me

, and I so love her and miss her, she's

my favorite baby…“

-„Yes we know, that is not a nice joke they're playing…“

-„…and when I try to come near them some even sometimes throw stones at me, and they call it „playing war“ and they say I am their „enemy“. I do not like that game, therefore I prefere to hang arround, by the sea, or with the animals in the woods, or…“

-„Oh my, oh my, we thought it will be easier for you, that's why we left you here…

Still- we know you are a strong girl. Keep smiling and finding happy funny thoughts in you, and all will be changed, we promise. Just don't give in in these games of theirs, you've done good to avoid them. Time is a tricky thing, it has to be played out, but now that we heard this perhaps we'll start with the time travelling lessons for you sooner than we planned…Woods and the sea can be good for now, you can stay there until we see what we'll do next, what you say?“

-„Perhaps, yes.“

-„Be brave, dear. We were worried that you were not yet ready for time travelling, but we'll see, we'll consult with the Elders. Bye for now, take care of yourself & keep your heart up!“

-„I will, thanks Mommy/Daddy!“


,,,you're awefully quiet today, my dear, I sense something is wrong,,, -finally said the Sea to C.L., after she was sitting on the shore for quite long that day, motionless, just watching the horizon.

,,,you look very sad, too,,,

-„No, I'm not.“ - replied she in a quite rude tone, driffting back into silence.

,,,oh, I so hate to see you like that,,, -the sea was persistent-

,,,why don't you swim today? We've got only few more summerdays left for our hugs and splashes, you know how you do not like when the first fall rains make my waters cold and murky again,,,


,, ooo hooo, ok, I can see you're in a bad mood! Perhaps leaving few of your excess tears to me might help, some more salt I do not mind,,,

-„NOO, I do not have tears! And I am NOT a cry-baby!“


,,,,,how about just soaking your feet a little?,,,, – the sea was running out of ideas for a good cure -

(even Yek, C.L.-s best seagul friend

was just nervousely flying around, not knowing what to say or think. while he just gave up and decided it will be best for him to take a nap

After a

…and dream of some…fishes).

-„NOOO, just LEEEEAVE MEE BEEEE!“ - She screamed, bursted into tears,

and run away. She was crying all the way through the fields and finally

set down on a trunk at the verge of the forest, crying & crying & crying.

-„Cirp?“ – asked a little bird the others.

-„Oh, chirp. Just let her,

it's best she does her crying alone.“

-„We'll cheer her later, -another bird added- she'll be fine, you'll see. Shall we sing „every little thing's gonna be all right“ now? Cirp?“


The clown

- „Well HALOOO, little girl!“ - A loud person, dressed funny, speaking funny and with a very funny red ball on his nose greeted her cheerfully

-„Ooooh, nooo!“ what I needed now, THIS one!“)

- C.L. cried even louder now (and thought „just

-„The hell, what is it? Did I scare you?“


-„Something bad happened to you?“

-„Nooooo. Just leeeeaaave me beeee! Don't BUG meee!“

-„Perhaps you'd like to see me juggling,

I'm quite good at it, see?“ –said the

Clown (yes, a real clown he was)

- No replies, just sobbing………….

The Clown tried few of his best tricks with the balls and claves,

but since C.L. was all tears, and did not seem to have the intention to stop soon (actually, a real little salty stream was running down her face, and her eyes were searching for

something on the ground, completely not interested in juggling tricks, so the clown decided to stop). He put his hat down and quietly set near C.L., twhirling the balls in his arms, confused, not knowing what to say or do.

They were sitting like that for quite long, until C.L. calmed just enough so she could hear a weird funny whistle in her head.

-„Who did it?“ child not to ask)

(she was sad, yes, but also way too curious kind of a

-„It was me, did you like it?“

-„Wow! You can whistle telepathically?“

-„Haa! I see you know about telepathy?“

-„I learn a little about it, yes, still not really proffy. But whistling seems different…“

-„Well, it just needs more practice. You'll be amazed how many things you'll be able to do with just a bit of patience and practice!“

-„I already know many things…“

-„I'm sure you do. And I'm sure you'll learn a lot more, especially in school…“

-„No, no, no, I will NEVER go to school!“

-„Oh, how come? I thought all the kids go to school!“

-„Not me, I'm special,

I learn from the sea

and from the trees and animals, and the stars…

and mama Gaia teaches me stuff, and also…“

-„Well, yes, of course, all of that is fine, but how about letters and numbers?“

-„Those I do not want to know!“

(her face turned into a really angry grinn now)


-„Because people write bad things to each others in all those books and newspapers.

And they

kill trees for that, you know! for paper!

-„Well, paper is a good thing…“

„.. and those…those „nombers“. (it is true, sometimes when C.L. starts talking about something important to her, she just cannot stop and listen to what others have to say back, I guess

you can call it rude, but she's just a child wanting to be heard), Nombers they use just to count those stupid papers they call money…I do not need that paper. Mamma

Gaya gives me all I need.

And so many toys!“

-„You'll get to love books, I'm sure.

reading is a super game.

Both letters AND numbers

There are so many nice

ways to use letters and numbers, too.“

-„Yeah, like what?“ –she now pursed her lips defyantly.

-„Let's see…you can write your name and your stories, so we don't forget them and you can read them to

other kids.

And with numbers you can count stars, or make neat

plans for building big houses or bridges, or pyramids!

I, for example, love to use letters to write down new words. And my jokes. There are too many for memoreazoning. There are so many fun things to learn!

That's why it's strange to me that you do not want to go to school. “

-„“Memoreazoning“ I don't understand.“

-„It means to keep what you remember, to not forget again.“

-„oh, aha! you mean something like to rememberize? Ouhwhy, yes! That could really be fun!!“ -“Naturallight! For example, I always keep a few of my real BIG jokes in my bag, just in case some really really serious case occures. Than I have to pull those out of my Note-book, I call it my Clown first aid kit.“

-„ Cool! Memorizionizing of jokes? I'd love to learn that. I loose so many of mine. And not just jokes, so much more…for exaaampleee (C.L. put up a very thoughtfull face, but felt as if her mind was completely empty) Ooh, do you see? I don't remember! Again! Uffff!…You're

reallyreally righ, clown, that writening IS useful. It would be fantasmystistical, to stop with this forgetting

all the time of mine. I guess I'll think some more about that school thingy.“

-„Please do. And never say never.“ If nothing else, musicizing clases are never a waste of time…“

-„You mean musicomaking? (the Clown nodded, with a happy giggle)

-„Oh, yes, YES! Can't live without it. And dance.“ (C.L. jumped

and went into another round of her weird

moves, she called it „supercoolhappydance“.


think she've learned it from the little fairy people.

After a while she had enough and calmed a


She sat

down, thought a little and than she asked: „So? Clowns go to school, too?“

-„Oh, yes, we have a very special school and we learn so many funny & fun

& phantamystic things! “

-„Hmmm…THAT kind of school I'd probably like. Could I join?“

-„Sure! You can try and if you like it we'd be more than happy to have you with us!“


-„Feeling a little better?“

-….. (she was quiet, but her head was nodding gently)

-„Wanna talk about it?“


„Excuse me?“


First day of school

Next time they've met the Clown jumped in front of C.L., squated and looked deep in her eyes. She asked him to forgive her „for that…the other day…oooh, you know…“

-„Ah, that? It's all right.“ –answered the Clown cheefuly and clapped her a high five. The Clowns do not get angry on others. -„Even clowns have days like this sometimes, we're not always cheerful, you know...“


-„Of course! I remember, few times I was really furious. And one day I was even crying, so much…none of my clown buddies could calm me! Or stand me, for that matter. Clowns really, really do not like to be arround sad clowns, really, for real.“


-„Yes, it happens like that…something heavy needs to come out this way, with tears, so it can become light again…and others, even if they try to help you when that happens usually only succed to add to your


-„Sounds true, yes.You know why I was crying?“

-„No ...Why?“

-„I was angry at myself for being sad. important one!“

You know, I have a mission, and it is an

-„A mission? I can see you are a bright kid, so many difficult words you use!“

-„…yes, well, whatever, do not interrupt me - do you want to know about my mission?“ (C.L. was in a really weird mood. Usually she's really kind and she really, really does not speak so rude!)


-„I have to help kids remember they are the light of the world.

- „And when I am sad I cannot do it. You, see, the light only works when I'm happy…“ - „As I said. Naturallightly.“ (nodded the clown, happy with the way the first day of C.L. schooling was

going so far)

-„ …and the more I think about it I get more sad & angry on myself and I know how my bad moods can make others feel like that too, so I feel guilty, too, and more sad, and madly angry, and I cannot stand it so

I just cry & cry & cry & cry…“ (and tears were again ready for their action. Good that the profy Clown was there, „Little kids mood swings and how to turn them into pure laughter“ was the subject of his Ph.D. thesis in the Clown Academy)

-„Hm… Sounds like a vicious circus. Circus Viciosus, haa!“

-„Circus? What kind of circus? With no harm to animals, I hope. I heard some things…“

-„No. Viciuos circle. Circus means circle, too.“

-„Ah, ok than, I do not like to hear stories about violence. my brain with anger fast. Circle as a ring?“

Those fill

-„No, the ring is called „anulum“.

-„Ah. What language is that?“

-„Some, I don't know… Circus Viciosus, something like that. It means when you cannot come out from one way of thinking and you repeat things you do not really want…“

-„Oh, yes, that's that! I go arround in circle. How can I solve that, please?“

-„I'm not sure if I know much about it. For me, it helps just to sit and breathe and wait and listen to my

thoughts… But sometimes a little crying is needed, too, so I just let the tears do their thingy, until they get bored and stop by themselves.“

-„Ha! You did that with my tears, too, you left me cry them all out and than I stopped!“

-„Yes, and than, as I said, I listen to my thoughts, and I search for the funnytastic ones and I try not to panick, because than I have to start all over again, back from tears.“

-„I see.“

-„And than, after a while, instead of thoughts that are telling me how bad and stupid and boring and useless I am, I start to hear some nicer ones. Like „dear clown, that joke you made about the clouds the other day was super!“, or „, your hat is so funny today“, or „you got yourself an A today at school, haa?“

Tricky subject, „Forest jokes“. Well done!“, …you know,things like that…“

-„Ah, but you're too big to go to school?!“

-„Clowns never stop going to school, we just love it. But you're right, it's not a school like that Hogwards, you know, magic castles and stuff, our school is more flexible, we learn everywhere, we call it „sharing informationations and emotionizatios“.

See how many complicated words we Big

clowns use? And we're always inventizing new ones.“

-„Oh, I myself am inventoress, too, I see we've got a lot in common.“

-„Yes. I started telling you…after I hear few nicer thoughts I listen some more.

You see, being a clown, I need to find a lot of happy thoughts and a few funny ones, too, and those are the thoughest, they know how to hide well!“

-„Oh, yes, I know that - the more I call them the more they hide!“

-„Exactly! So I wait. And I do not pressure them either, they do not like it at all…“

-„Yes, sometimes they even become bad if I bother them like that, so I say some bad jokes too and kids get

angry on me!“

-„Oh, my, yes, jokes can be very dangerous, you have to be careful where you use them and who will hear them. Especially some grown ups that forgot how to laugh, they can become pretty vindictive if they

think some joke is on them.. 'cause they think everybody has to play „wise & smart & serious“ all the time with them, even when they feel stupid inside.“ („Boy, do I have a big joke for them! And I don't even have to write it down“ –thought the Clown).

-„That is stupid. If you play „serious“ all the time you forget how to have fun. Hey, but I see now, I did not

notice that before - I've been playing„serious“ too much, too?“

-„There you go!“

-„Wow! That's why my jokes were hiding from me!“ (clapped C.L., brightened by this finding)

-„Yes, the players of „serious“ are loosing their jokes and get angry… but their angers are actually fears…“

-„What are they fearing?“

-„Many times I notice their fear the jokes.“

-„That is silly, who would ever fear a joke!“

-„Yet it's true. But everyone has to figure out their own truth. It is better to leave angry people to figure out their anger by themsleves, otherwise they get angry at you and than you might pick their anger and become angry, too, and that is soo dangerous, there's nothing worse than an angry


Ufff, anger catches me as soon as I start thinking of it!“

-„So, you say that a succesful clown changes the angry into funny moods, but if you fail you make even

more trouble? be a succesful clown, right?“

Hmm. It seems to me you have to be quite brave to

The Clown straghtened up, with his chest wide front.. His hands stratched shortly up, but he brought them down fast. He does not brag, although he has a lot to brag about, and his role is really, really hard and responsable, but this question from C.L. made him a little proud…-„I have to be brave to fight anger and

so many other fears, yes,

to see the jokes beyond them…“

-„ Because otherwise you only hear anger's mean, fearful jokes. I see now, oh, yes, this is soo important,

serious important!“

-„ You should have heard some of my mean jokes when I was angry, they were very, very bad. I just blush when I remember them. Sooo NO FUN!“

-„I'm sure they are not so bad, you clowns just like to exagerate, that's all. Sure they are not like the

„practical jokes“ the cabbage kids so love to make on me.“ -“Ah, forget those. They'll learn better jokes, too.“ -„Yeah, I guess so. You know what? This felt like my first day in the clown school!“

-„Actually, it is, if you don't mind, we the teachers just did not want to scare you, the Voices told us to be careful, because you do not like the idea of going to school…“

-„You do not have to call them Voices any more, I know who is my family. So, they arranged this encounter

with you?“


-„And will it always be like this, I will not have to go to some big building in the town to learn?“

-„No, we'll just play school hours and talk and try many nice things when we meet…“

-„Oh, cool, than I'm in, can't wait for the next school hour. I feel I'll love this

school. But now I want to go to the sea. can still swim.“

It is still summer, you know, and I

-„Yes, sure,super, see you some other day. And be careful with those tears!“

-„Tears? Oh, yes, I almost forgot. Silly student-clowness am I, ha?  Btw, you mentioned a joke about the clouds?“

„Ha, ha, you curious One, I knew you'll ask…“



-„OoOpsy, you've splashed me! Be more careful, sea, your waves are big today, and your water is not so warm any more!“

,,,I did it on puspose! SPLASH


-„You're delliberately rude to me?“

„,,Yes, why not? You were very unpleasant with me the other day,,, Splash,,,

-„Oh, that? I almost forgot. Yes, I guess I owe you an appology, I was very sad, I just could not be nice to you nor to myself or anybody else. That was sooo weeeird! I had to cry all my tears out…“

,,,It happens,,,You know that even I cry sometimes?,,,

-„Noo? You seem always so cool, even in storms!“

,,,Well, it's true. I don't have tears of my own, but all the tears that come into me from all the creatures and Gaia, you know, there's quite some weeping I have to go through, no wonder I'm so salty,,,

-„I surely did add some salty water to you, yes…“

„So, now you feel better?“

-„Yes, but I can see today you're a little down.“

,,,It's nothing really, I am better already,,, ,,,It's just that I have these feelings something big is happening and I do not quite understand what, must be just my big ocean ego that cannot stand it not to understand something,,,

-„You have to surrender.“

,„Yes I do,,, I know there are bigger things and higher beigns than me,,,

-„Yes, all is perfect, just we sometimes cannot see it all, not to loose our minds.“

,,,Indeed,,, It can be more than tsunamically overwhelming,,, even for me ,,,

-„I just wanted to tell you about the Book.“

,„What Book?,,,

-„The one I will write when I learn letters… school!“

You see, I've decided to go to


-„Yes! Funny, ha? Never say never. And when I write my book,

many kids will read it. That way they will hear about the spark, and there will be some that will understand me and will become my friends!“

,,,Sounds like a good plan,,, -„Yes! And perhaps I'll even become a writeress!! ,,,aahaha, sure, that will be fun. the Book is a really good news,,, I can see it already,,,

- „Your immagination is great, for a moment I saw it too, floating above your waves!“

,,, I've red few stories,,not bad at all,,you're gifted, kiddo!,,,

-„Thank you, I thought it, too. Gifted, yes, I've received many gifts and am grateful, I know the Big Boh One

and my faery people and all my invisible helpers are sending them to me. But it's always nice to hear a compliment. And you know what else? I figured I've learned that I left so

many messages to myself on my time travels. Although in this time I still do not read, in other times I write and read a LOT, and that helps me in so many way, especially in

the now.

And I figured, even before past and future was, I am.

Keep it simple.“

,,ohohhoaaa,,, (the Sea could not help but to laugh now. Of course, the dolphins joined the fun, they just cannot resist laughter.)

-„Did I cheer you a little, my dear?“

,,,Yes, you shure did,,,

-„I promise I will not be bad with you, never never again.“

,,,oh, well, o.k. all is well,,, ,,,but go easy on the promises, you never know,,,,otherwise, it is good to share with friends, sometimes even the bad moods,,,

-„Yes, thank you sea, you're so understanding!“

,,Don't mention it,,,

,,, Just next time, try to accept my help. Like today, I've shared my worries with you and you really helped me,,,,, see? ,,, ,- I'm all splashy again,,,



-„Oh, ha, ha. I'm so glad you're my splashy friendly friend, my dear sea!“


-„You don't get it, you're just a stupid woman, go away, scram!“- yelled one of the colony boys at C.L. when she tried to stop him and another boy from fighting. They stopped, all right, but than both started shouting at her: „We'll play war as much as we like ans whenevar we like, 'cause that's what REAL man do. It was always like that and it will always be that REAL man will make war, and there's nothing you

can do about it, you stupid, stupid woman!“

C.L. just stood there, silent. find words when someone was attacking her…

Like so many times before she could not

„Ooooh, -she finally spoke- ,…you MAN! You are REALLY, REALLY EXACTLY STUPID,

STUPID; STUPID!“ –and she run away while the boys were shouting all sorts of offenses to her. She was running all the way to the cave, but allas, some unfriendly

kids were there as well.

so she just set outside, below the nearest tree, mamma Gaia…

calmed her thoughts and called

-„I never thought we will play war here, mamma Gaia, but each day the games are becoming more and more rough. Even the girls quarrel, push each other, pull each other's hair, and all are using all kinds of mocking words. They say it is fancy and that's what all the kids in the city do, and that I am an oldfashioned stupid girl! What can I do?!?“- C.L. bursted into tears…

-„Calm down, remember how the Sea and the Winds and the Sun were teaching you?

Get happy and STAY there. I have no other advice. All these wars and pollution,all the troubles humans do on my surface, actually all troubles come from our bad thoughts, or fears that try to hide in violence. Thoughts become things, I'm sure you've heard that. So, if you want to change that, first and foremost you have to guard your own thoughts.“

-„I know, and I do try, but I keep forgetting, I get carried by what others tell me, and that's what makes me

soooo mad!…“

-„Yes, I see how you try to keep peace and be cheerful.

I know it is not easy for you, but remember: Peace begins with you. Think happy thoughts, speak bright, kind words, be gentle towards yourself and others,

and many kids will see these are cool ways…and together we will make our world into an every day nicer

place, you'll see!“

-„And what about that boy/girl thing, that one really gets on my nerves. I do not like it at all, to be called

„stupid woman“!“ -„Ah, that's another big problem. For ages humans were rising their boys to believe they're better than the girls. You can see that in languages, too. In some even the words for „human“ and „God“ are considered

exclusively male words.

I feel the same dis-respect towards me as do my

other creatures, and the Ocean. These are all things you just cannot change over night. This world is built

upon oposites, you know?“

-„Yes, I figured that, all is in oposites, but I just cannot get it why oposites need to fight?!!...I am REALLY ANGRY when I see fighting games!... we could all so easily play nice together, most oft he little animals

know that!“

-Well, you do not expect everyone to be to your liking…“ (asks Gaia, with a worm smile). -„Sure not, but everyone has at least one beloved friend, and that friend has another friend and so on… that

way we are all really friends…“

-„Good example, yes. Yet still, not many understand the power and beauty of kindness and friendship and tollerance of differences. They don't feel it, therefore many still fight, but you know it- love is always

stronger than fear, and love saves the day, always. And a hug, you know how many miracles can just one hug make. Anyway, fighting is just another attempt at solving the oposites. Remember this: nothing can be solved through fighting others if before you are not clear about it inside yourself.“

-„Aha, yes, that sounds true, 'cause I feel there are still many wars going on inside that I need to make peace in. And about that scene before -you meant to say I should first talk with those „Real man-boys“ inside myself and than try to make peace with them outside?“

„Something like that, yes. The key is always inside you. And the choice, too –you can always ask yourself –am I doing this out of love or fear?

You always have the choice to stay happy and peaceful inside, no matter the

outside troubles. That always helps. As for woman, they bring babies into life, isn't it a magnificent role? I believe these „stupid women“ should actually be proud of being

born as woman!“

-„I AM! A proud girl, that means little woman. I am light, but I am love, too!“

-„Yes, dear, you just stay in your gentle ways and you'll see changes, slow they may seem, in this time of great need, but I can assure you in your life time you'll see great beautiful changes.“

-„Oooh, mommy Gaia, I don't know, sometimes it all feels sooo hopeless…“

-„Noo. This is just a short dark period we all have to endure, but you already know darkness cannot stay in the presence of light. Your little heart flame is therefore even more precious and needed now. Do not let sad things discourage you. Such can only make you stronger and more sure about what you do and do not


So, just dry your tears now and be your dear cheerful self again, please!“


-„So, let's get lighter. Can you immagine yourself as a grown up, C.L.?“

- „Sometime I do that, yes, sometimes I even immagine myself as a granny!

It is

good practice for my time-travel. Why you ask?“

-„And how do you see yourself, what are you doing?“

-„I am making people laugh and sing and dance arround the fireplace, and am healing them in different ways, amd telling many funny stories to the kids, and I sing lullabies to them, and teach them some


and I tell them my memories from Fairy land, I call them fairy-

tales, I am originally a Fairylander, you know!“


_“…btw- do you know I've decided I want to go to school?

I've understood I do need school after all, I have so many things I still need to learn. I'll be studiing in the Clown Academy!“

-„Smart choice, good career for you, girly!“

-„Yeees, and I see myself protecting and helping the kids, the sea and you, like my mommy/daddy do now, and am immaginizing miraculous future things.

You know, the way the Ocean thought me how fantisizing into the future can help

bring the wished future to the present?“

-„Marvelous, yes, there are no limits. I'm so proud with you. These are all great beautiful wishes, and I'm sure you'll be my wonderful Keeper. Oh, what am I saying? you already are that!“

-„Oh, Gaia dear, you do have ways to bring my happyfunny me back, thank you!“

- „Yes, I am pretty magical, ha?“

-„Must be you have some sort of magicalitious tricks, too, yes, it is kinda magicalical how you can change

my moods fast!“

-„Ahaa…so let's see, what now? If you ask me I would like to hear some of your sweet songs, if you don't mind…“


-„Sure. You know how I love your voice. Please, sing to me!“

-Hmmm, wait, I have to warm up (and C.L. starts singing, actually „inventionizing“ a song) I am a little child but what I want I know,


as all the kids before me so I want today and always, during night and in the day I want to stay in that flow Where I see and feel all the little things For which my heart laughs and sings. And why it shines? Haahahahaaaa… Yesyesyes Shalalala li-la la

„Good, ha?“

-„Aha, yes.“

-„There are many more from which this one came out. my magic flute.“

Now I'll play to you on

„Ah, the bottomless Source “

The Thing

She found it first. (C.L. was famous for her gift of noticing strange things, too). Than she just had to tell them immediately, so the other kids gathered arround it, and stood speechless, in awe for a while.

-„What is it? Where did you find it, C.L.?“ – asked one of the kids after a while.

-„It was blinking light in and out over there, changing colors.“

-„It is beautiful!“ –noticed a girl. -„Yes, isn't it? I thought so myself, so I just wanted to bring it to you...don't know why, but it made me feel somehow happy for no special reason. For quite long I did not feel so happy! So I wanted to share. (you know how happiness, same as love, gets bigger when shared?)“


-„Yes, and wait till you hear the sounds it makes!“

-„Now it is quiet.“

-„Try & touch it, to me it was the nicest music I ever heard, and it felt as if it was made just for me!“

-„Wow!“ –said the kid that dared to touch the weird crystaline-looking object first –„I can hear it, it is marvelous!“

-„You hear something? How come I don't?“

-„Me either…“

…it turned out that just the kid touching the Thing (as they soon named it) heard the music in their head, and each felt that music was done especialy for them.

Something very magical was happening. But than, each kid that touched it repeated the same - they all felt so nice that they did not want to let go of the Thing, they just

wanted to keep it for themseves. colony-quarrel started…

…So, very soon, another

(„Oh, no, I did it again!“ – thought C.L. worried – „I think I'l do something good but instead I just create

more mess! Oh, Mommy dear, help me solve this!“)

(-„Here I am, do not worry, C.L. – she heard the instant reply – you did just what you needed to do, now just try to calm the kids and tell them few stories to take their attention off the Thing for a while. That way I

can burry it.“)

(-„You mean we'll not be able to touch it any more?“)

(-„You will. I will just stabilize it firmly in the ground so it cannot be taken out, nor carried arround.

Perhaps it can even solve a few of the cabage-colony troubles you've told us about. The kids are not yet so infected with wordly dis-ease, and the Thing can help them have many more happy thoughts and

dreams.“) („Oh, YES! That way when they grow up the'll all glow with so much joy, so we will all be able to bring many more beautiful dreams to the world! –C.L. clapped her hands, as she does every time something cheerful comes to her mind. – Wait, just a second, mommy, I've got an idea!“)

„Heya, kids, when was the last time you encountered a warewoolfelines, or zombions or a vampirant?“ - don't ask me how she did it, but C.L. instantly succeded in taking her cabbage buddies attention off the Thing. In a second they were all arround her now, listening

with ears wide open to her funnyscarry stories, while in her head she continued speaking to her mom… (-„This is great, mommy dear, I'm so glad you told me all of this… you know how I hate when the kids fight and are angry and do other stupid things they see in the city…

Sometimes I loose fate that we'll ever be able to stop all that mess from happening among the cabbage

kids, and I start fearing we'll all die sad and tired and angry…“)

(-„Ha, ha, you forgot how many miracles I and your father have in store for you? and did you forget what I

was teaching you when you were a baby?“)

(-„Oh, no, just all these bad things arround us make me worried…

“funny thoughts, funny thoughts, funny thoughts“- C.L. started repeating and slapping herself on her cheeks, in her mind, while in the same time telling a hillarious story to the kids. Some call it multi-tasking- „Remember, remember,

recall, recall what? Ah, yes, funny thought! “)

(-„Ah. See? I knew you'll remember fast, you are becomming so good at remembering! Just stop that

slapping, I did not teach you That!

So - here we are, now - feeling any better?“)

(-„Oh yes, much better. Slaping myself nor others is not nice, you're right.“)

(-„There you go, you smart little head.“) („Now I understand why you left me here – I had to learn so many things and this way, being left alone with the kids, I learn faster. Now I understand something else, too: all kids have their school hours, their own

things to learn, and in their own times and ways. I cannot teach them something they do not want to

learn!“) (-„So true.“)

(-„Yes, I've heard it before, but only today I really digged it, and I understand why things have to be

repeated… I felt like a bore, and many told me I am boring when talking and repeating about my mission, but now I know it needs to be that way - you never know when someone will understand something I said.Important things need to be repeated. I do learn a lot every day, mommy, perhaps there is also some funny explanation why I forget?“)

(-„I'm sure you'll come up with something, you always do…“)

(-„I do, I do, and I sooo looove it! Funny answers are my most beloved. Let's see..I forgettt…becausssse… so I can see it all as if for the first time? Is it more fun like that? and than the funny bit is…hmm, perhaps that I don't really really forget? just the answers like to play hide and seek with me? Or they organize a paegant for „Miss Most funny thought for this moment“, and are not sure which one to pick so it can take

time, and the moment is gone? Good that I can keep the space and moment for them.“)

(-„Ha, ha, whatever you say, my dear, as long as you have fun and your heart sings. I go now. Your father and I will plant few more of these Things.“)

(-„Oh, how didn't I notice it before –You brought it?“)

(-„Surprise, surprise! –remember to expect them!“)


(-„Well, actually in the beginning your dad made that first Thing as a surprise gift for you, to cheer you up a little, but than we figured you'll not be able to keep it for yourself, so he made few more.

Anyway, it is probably better this way. It might even help to solve few of the problems you have in the collony. The kids will be able to come and touch it, and they will all

start feeling more friendly and loving, you'll see.“)

(-„Oh, I'm sure! I already feel much nicer since I've heard that music.“)

(-„ I am sure you and the other kids will bring many more beautiful dreams to the world, and you know the

worlds are made out of our dreams, right?“)

(-„Oh, yes, that I do remember!“)

(-„So, bye-bye for now, baby! Keep smiling, dreaming nice dreams and expecting new gifts!“)

(-„Love you, mommy!“)


„Ah, hey gang – look: there is another Thing, weeeeee- another


…and soon enough all the kids were on their own Thing hunt… ;)

The Letter,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

-„Sea, sea, sea! – C.L. was calling while running down the hill to the shore – „Oh, so many good things I

have to tell you!

Sooo many things

happened so faaast, good, good, good!

That Thing my mom sent made a

real miracle in the colony…

every kid that touches it hears beautiful

music, and they keep finding new Things, and they all make nice songs just for them, and that makes them feel good about themselves, because if the music made for them is so beautiful they understand they

are beautiful too, so all started loving themselves more, and you know that when you love yourself you love the others too, they become like your mirror, another you, and you just want to do good things to each other and now all is becoming so nice in the colony

and kids are finding new and new beautiful things to do and we've planted the garden with all sorts and all grows nicely, and the bees are back, so we have

milk & honey again… and the Little One has learned to sing and the craws brought the message about the birth of white buffalo

calfs which is a super sign and… and I'm sure you've noticed some of them visiting you lately? (it seemed C.L. said it all just in one breath, she was sooo excited!)

,,,,yes, I was wondering what happened. They do not fear my waves any more?“

-„oh, they're becomming pretty brave. We're chasing few more fears away every day.“

,,,Good to hear,,, anyway fear is not real, and there's no use for it,,, …AOHM, yes, I almost forgot the most important thing - something really magnificastic just happened -

my angel friend brought me this letter from my Mom/Dad! to show it to you fast…“

That's why I'm here, I've run

,,,Wow,,,splash,,, you got a letter?“

-„Yes, I'm so proud & excited! See how beautiful these faery letters are? It makes me want to start that faery

school, too, right now, I want to go in MANY schools!“

,,,See? I told you one day you'll change your mind about school,,,

-„Aha, and the angel said to bring the letter to you because you know how to read it best…“

,,,Hmm, not sure - I'm a little rusty there, out of practice, it's been a long time since I've read something in faery - but I'll try. Just keep it far enough from my waves, they're quite unpredictable today,,,

-„Ahm, all right, I surely do not want my letter to get wet. This far is ok?“

,,,Rise it a little higher,,,there you go, perfect,,, Let's see: „Our beloved child!

(,,,nice,,,-said the see, and than continued reading. Even Jek was

sitting quietly on the little waves, curiously listening) „We are writting this letter to you because some changes have happened and Faery Kingdom has moved further so we cannot talk to you through the Voices any more. We need you to join us now, while the portal is still open, so very soon we'll be together again. We want you to know how proud we are of all you did, and hope you'll love your school here. Tell the Sea to arrange the details and give you the instructions for your voyage. Love you, baby! M./D.“,,,,,

-„Oh,super, I'm so excited, I'm SOOO excited! But what did they mean by „the sea will arrange the


,,, SPLASH!!,,, they meant thiss
biiiig but also gentle wave sweeped C.L. under the sea),

ssss,,,( a


,,,Sorry, kiddo, don't be scarred! We had to do it the quickest and less paifull way - the nearest open passage now is through the Turtle's underwater cave. She'll show you the way. See you on the other side!,,,


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!“– and than there she was, in that cave again.

-„Hi, Chrishta Lina, glad to she you, shuper that we meet onshe again!“

-„Wow, Turtle, I did not expect this, it all happened soo fast!“

-„Ha, ha, yesh, musht be we shcared you a little, ha?“

-„A little? This was the biggest fear in my whole life!“

-„At leasht it wash fasht! And it ish a good practishe. Not that in your futcher I shee many fearful shtoriesh,

but shtill, you have to be ready in any cashe…“

-„So, what shall I do now?“

-„You can shtay a while with me, to calm down if you are shtill shcared, or if you are inpatshient we can call the old beardy mishter now…“

-„The beardy mister? He'll show me the way?“


-„Ok, call him, I need to come home as fast as possible.“

(and there he was) -„Ho, ho, ho, you still did not learn patience, C.L.?“

-„Hi, bearded mister! Well, I did practice a little, but it is not my favorite discipline. NoOne is perfect, haha.“ („except the BigOne“, added Big C.L. in her head, with a whink)

-„Good than, beardy mishter – do you think thish girl ish ready for her home-comming advetshure?“

-asked the Turtle.

-„More than ready.“ –C.L. could not wait for their opinions, she had to reply emediately.

-„Ohoho, fine, fine.“-the beardy man replied with a smile

– „Than just

continue through this pasage,

go towards the light

and you'll come out in the woods.

There, 3 deers will show you the way to the Dwarf's cottage. He will tell you what next. But be careful,

do not let him confuse you with his riddles…“ -„Ok, thanks Mister, thanks Turtle, you've helped me a lot! See you on my next adventure!“

-„She you, C.L., and shtay cheerful!“

-„Ho, ho, ho…“

The riddle dwarf

Exactly as the Turtle and the Old Man told her, 3 beautiful deers were waiting for C.L. at the exit from the Turtle cave tunnel, and in no time she was in front of a most wonderful forest house, covered with moss and flowers.

-„Hi, mister dwarf!“ – C.L. was in a big hurry now – „I've been told you'll show me my way home?“

-„OI? you're the kid I've been waiting for?“

-„I guess I am.“

-„Ok, but first you must solve my riddle..“

-„Fish giggle?“

-„OI, haha! you fast telepathic kid! You unswered before I even pronounced my question! Ok, than I'll take you to my treasure room, and you can pick your prise. I am quite a wealthy dwarf, you know? You can stay a while with me, you'll see-I am fun to play with and I like to give gifts to kids. Pick yours: there are dragon's wings there, and golden cups and magical doors


-„No, no, no, please, no gifts, no riddles, nothing!

-„Perhaps you'd like this frog. You can kiss him, you know, and than…

-„No, you don't hear me. Nothing means nothing. I just want to come home as soon as possible!“

-„Home, you mean Fairy Kingdom?“


-„But you're already there, in your dreams.“

-„I am?“


-„Than all I need is some more sleeping and dreaming?“

-„OI. And awakeness, ha ha, tricky, ha?“

-„I know what you mean. Thanks, mister dwarf.“


Oh, Boy!

-„OI, girly, now you're on your own!“, says the dwarf and than –puffufufu- he dissapeares.

C.L. is in a magical forest, with a weird emerald mist floating arround, and the sun rays making little raibows on it. Never before did she see such amazing, majestically big tree creatures. And never before anything arround her felt so ALIVE.

One tree greets her. „I am you“- it says- „There's only One here, come back into me.“

She looks arround, dazzled and insecure.

-„Into me see…“- laughs the Boy from the top of the tree.

-„Oh, there you are, you trickster One! I was almost sure the tree was speaking to me!“

-„It does, I just lend my voice to him…“

-„Yeah, right, like-we're all the tree?“

-„We are, just some like to be leaves, some play roots,

Some are dancing flowers and some are fruits. 

-„Yeah, and some are the word „tree“ and some are those stars above. Oh, c'mon you funny poet, you! Seems I'll have to trim my branches and water my roots some more, so I can invent verses like you do.


-„So, you remember me Now?“

-„Yes, must be I am in the Faery Kingdom Now?“

-„Aha. It is all good Now, isn't it?“

-„Oh, yes, the Super Wow Now, no need for time travel when you find it “

-„Come, give me a hug, it is about time we regain each other now!“

(In Faery Kingdom the time is always Now. You remember Now?)

But Than something

takes her attention and PUFF! - the Boy was gone! mighty lion,

Just in a short glimpse she saw a

sitting on a rainbow, smiling and whinking at her, than a serious indian, than below the rainbow she passed through a big gold ring, and than a huge whirlwind filled with all kinds of immages and sounds pulled her down, faster and faster

until C.L. found herself in that funny pinky room of hers. She rubbed her eyes and jumped out of her pinky


– „WOW! That Was SOOO WEIRD! Good that I woke up!“

New dream

-„Mommy/Daddy, Mommy/Daddy, Mommy/Daddy!!!“ - C.L. was unusually happy that morning, jumping up into her parent's bed (not that she was not almost always a very happy child, but still, this morning some extra happiness was there)

-„What's up, our little One?“

-„Oh, I had this most amazing, miraculously magicianically crazy dream!


was living with cabbage kids…“

-„Cabbage kids?“

-„Yes, wait,

listen to me: and I was hanging out with the sea

and with the animals and faeries… and you were there, too! First you were Voices, and Mom, you were sometimes Mamma Gaia, and than you were faeries!!!“

-„Faeries? Hmm…“

-„Yes!, and you were solving many problems, you were my super-heroes, (you are always to me, you know that, but this was special), you were special, super special heroes, saviours and healers of Mother Earth and I had angel flowers garden with my cabbage kids buddies and all sorts was happening and than first I

was happy than sad and angry and and sooo confused, and…

and one day I

was crying so much I could not stop…“

-„One day? looks like you were away for quit some days?“

-„Oh, yes, I was actually travelling through time…“


-„Yes, I think so, you thought me that. And than I met that clown

and started

going in the clown school!“

-„Wow, we thought you did not want to go to school ?!?“

-„Ah, that was before I met my clown teacher.

Now I want to go to school and I want to learn

all those great and wise and funny things. But most of all, I want to learn letters, because than I can write stories, and travel through time and I can write about this dream, and about other nice dreams I will dream, too! That way I will not forget anymore and I will have many friends that will read my stories and jokes and together we'll all have some beautiful new dreams that will make Mother Gaia happy!“

-„Oh, great, sounds like you had much fun, and you got many nice plans there! But c'mon our sweety, give us the morning hug now!“

-„Yesss, right Now…“

Mom & Dad are speechless, just smiling at that little light of theirs, jumping on their bed  They do not see the sweet teen-age girl that is smiling at the door, patiently waiting to be noticed, amuzed with this familiar morning game.

-„Welcome Home, little One!“ sees her…

- Shanti whinks to C.L when she

-„Oh, Big Sister!“

- C.L. jumps from the bad and into her sister's

arms –„… you know it all?“ -„Of course, silly, come!“ – she lifts C.L. and starts doing that supercoolhappylovething of theirs, spinning

with her high in the air. And they all laugh, laugh, laugh…

Mirror (Epilogue2)

(in some future Now) -„So, nothing of it was true?“ - C.L. is sighing sadly while watching herself in the mirror. No matter how

weird, she kinda misses that dream of hers. While remembering how the Boy was waving her goodbye, her arm instinctively goes up, as if she wants to see how he saw her...but than the strangest things starts happen- first no hand reflects in the mirror, and while she stays

still, watching astonished, the mirror image starts changing into a boy, making all sort of silly faces, some even quite scarry, while the eyes start turning into spooky black holes

with reddish borders. "This is too freaky!" - thinks C.L. and runs away

from the mirror.

-„Haa, gotcha!“the Boy laugs cheerfully in her head, and in a short blink she even see his usual hand gesture of removing his hear from his eyes, and hears „love is stronger than fear, haha“,

her head filled with his laughter. That calms her and she is happy again. Than the door bell rang and a boy with a pizza is in the doorway. -„Oh boy, pizza! I almost forgot!“ (in her belly she feels the familiar snaily giggle, but it does not bother her at all) „oh, so many thing I did not tell you last time, and sooo many things happened since our last pizza party!“

-„Eeeeeasy babe, we've got all the time in the world. Let's eat first and you'll tell me all, bit by bit.No panic.“

-„O.K. You know what? You're the best friend that I ever had, in dreams and in the whole wide „really, really real“ world!“

„Of course, you funny silly! Did you think you'll find someone better on the world wide web?“

…and how the singing fishes came to life? –you ask? Now, That is another Realy long story…

And that's it. I guess I could have explained few things better to you, but it's already been too long since I've started playing with these stories (more than 2 years) and I'm becoming very impatient, I want them to meet you the soon as possible (I could never tell you EVERYTHING, anyway). I'm not even sure if I recall it all correctly. C.L., when she talks about it, speaks so fast that I hardly fallow her, and my memory is not the best. Perhaps it would be better that you ask her about her dreams?

Did you fall asleep? No? Ah, well, if you headn't had enough, here's another short encore. This one is the really, really first story about C.L. I wrote down. I got a little bored with it, cause I went through it over and over again sooo many times… I wanted to tell you the best way i could all that C.L. told me about that encounter and the things she needed to remember. But, same as hers, my memory is not always reliable (ah, yes? did I told you that already? ) and it feels as if I'll never be able to tell it properly, completely. I need some more time travel I guess. Ahm, ewhatever, I'll not bother you anymore with my mess, here's how C.L. first met the old man:

C.L. awakes

„Ha! There he is, the funny guy with the white beard!“- that was C. L.'s first thought upon waking up

under her cabbage that morning. (She remembered the Voices told her to sit on his lap and he will give her what she asks.)

-„Hi, mister!

I do not want toys, I want answers!“

-„Ooook, smart little girl, what would you like to know?“

-„Well, that cabbage place of mine is mysterious to me and does not feel quite like home, but that's not so

important right now. What I'd really like to know is why am I on this planet with so many sad places, and what shall I do to make it colorfully happily jumpily shining?“

-„Oh, I was afraid you'll pose a more tricky question! Ho ho. Let's see, I might even be able to answer to this one – actually, I think your answer is in your question, but you need not just to understand but also practice it regularly. I see you already noticed the sadness?“

-„Mhm, it hurts.“

-„Yes, this world is going through some very sad times. Wars, beside other sick things, are bringing tears to many faces, but I promise to you it won't be long, the Mothers will bring peace and health back to Earth very soon,

they are doing it right now, as we speak. Ok , dads are helping them,too “


-„Well, it's a lot of work, you must understand, cannot be done fast.“

-„I would love to help them!“

- „Oh, ho, ho, ho, I know you would, little One, and you will…your role in it is very special and fun. We figured the older people should do the heavy stuff, as they started those nasty winner-looser games in the first place, and the little ones do not show any interest in continuing them,

anyway, unless they too get infected with all that sadness.“

-„Yes, I can see that, and some of my cabbage colony buddies are already showing some symptoms, that's why I want answers-how can I help?“

-„Here's your first answer:

You are the Light of the world.

We all are, just – the sick darkness that is trying to take over our world is making some of us forget and we start these gray games of extinguishing each other's glow…“

-„What shall I do to heal that?“

-„You are here to remember,

to cherish that knowing and to share it. And you

do share it abundantly, with your smile, dance, joy…


cheerfulness returning when they meet you…“

is so healing that even very sad people feel their own glow

-„You know, mister, you made it all much clearer to me, thanks! - said C. L. while happily jumping off his

lap - I was beginning to feel that sadness around me and it was taking me into some weird places, full of tears. Did not like it there… Light of life, you said? Of course, I know it, I know so well that little warm glow in my heart, it makes me sing and dance and laugh! – she was swirling while talking - I have to hurry now, I've promised the Ocean to come and play. See you,

mister! And don't forget to smile!“

-„Ho, ho, ho…“ - echoed behind her.

One more thing I have to say: I wanted this to be a nice picture-book (later I added music videos too) so I've used many pictures that I mainly found on the Internet (besides few photos I did myself). Therefore I thank all the autors, although this is only a „distribute to your friends“ PDF-book. I hope that, if anyone happens to recognize their art here, they will not mind. I'm sure the kids will like the illustrations.  Aaaargh, I just cannot part with you, so – I'm adding few more of my photos (and some of my collageimages I've sticked on the walls and doors in my room), so you can keep me in your memory a little longer… Here - a joke that just came to me today( Jan 18. 2011.): -„Knock, knock!“ -“Who's there?“ -„The Universe.“ -„The Universe who?“ -„T he Universe next door, of course!“ 

And here are few no-music videos, for mom and dad and their mission: ("Moving forward") + "The american dream": (a little time travelling ;)) btw, you can easily substitute the end sentence with „THIS IS EARTH!“ 

Ok, Ok, Ok, Now it's really, really over. Love you!

Daniela Knapić („Ascenddani“ is the nick under which you can find me on few web-places ;))

And, of course, Big Gratitude to Mamma Gaya, always:


now I can rest in peace on the terrace.

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