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The QM: a beginner’s guide
p2 p3 p4 p8 p10 p11 p12 Principal’s Foreword President’s Welcome The Building Guide QM’s Club Nights Life on campus Fun Stuff Music

Freshers’ Week 2005
p13 p17 p18 p19 p20 Pull Out Freshers’ Week Guide Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday

getting involved & extra info
p21 p22 p26 p27 Ethical Information A Helping Hand: Get involved in The QM The Board of Management Clubs and Societies

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principal’s foreword


elcome to The University of Glasgow. You will find this an exciting time, offering many new and challenging opportunities, as a quick read of this handbook will show.

facilities you may well discover new interests and encounter new challenges. The Unions will offer you the chance to mix with students from a range

experience of university life. Consider becoming involved with the Union Board. You will gain valuable experience and develop the kind of transferable skills that every employer now looks for, as well as meeting a group of new friends. Speaking for myself, I found that the Unions became an important part of my student life when I studied here. I urge you to wring every last drop of value out of this experience by working hard, playing hard but most of all participating. The Unions are there for you – benefit to the full. Sir Muir Russell Principal

The University of Glasgow was established in 1451, it has a long an illustrious history and many beautiful buildings, but the true heart of the University is its people. You have just joined that community of people. Make the most of it. You will listen, learn, explore and challenge many new ideas in lectures, tutorials and with groups of friends. And you will find that the Student Unions will form an important focal point for these discussions – a place where you will meet, debate, socialise and above all enjoy student life. The Queen Margaret Union was established in 1890 for women only. After decades of debate begun in the radical climate of the 1960s, it voted to become mixed in 1979. It fosters a great sense of community, offers many clubs and societies, and is still renowned for its radical campaigning. The QM has always supported equality and diversity, and whilst enjoying its great

“I urge you to wring every last drop of value out of this experience by working hard, playing hard but most of all participating.”
of different Faculties, from outlying campuses, from different backgrounds, different cultures and different countries. They also offer you the opportunity to participate. Taking part in the many activities, clubs, societies and social events on offer is one of the best ways to enrich your

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president’s welcome
started. Both the Unions are here to help you. With the entertainments and vibrant social life we provide, the magazines we produce, and clubs and societies we bring together, we should be your first sure that this week can be one of the best you will ever have. If you meet any of them, you should buy them a drink. They’ll probably need it. Good luck with University. I’m sure you will have a great time. Many thanks for reading. I will see you soon, Jamie McHale President 2005-06

elcome to the Queen Margaret Union, and the University of Glasgow. Well done on getting this far, you should be very proud.

This handbook is here to guide you through the first few weeks of University life and all that the QM has to offer. It will tell you where in the building you can buy your sandwiches, stationery, coffee and beer. It will tell you where you can play pool, sit and socialise, or be a part of the best entertainment scene in Glasgow. We have one of Glasgow’s top live venues, with an array of diverse club nights; three bars; a games room, for pool, puggies and relaxing between lectures; the best catering on campus (open 8-till-8 five days a week); a coffee bar, with muffins, paninis and Fair Trade chocolate; a continental café; a shop for sweets, stationery and newspapers; 24-hour study facilities. We’ve even got a laundry. Coming to University can be exciting, fun, intimidating, interesting, confusing, and liberating. From the moment you arrive you are bombarded with messages to get involved, there are expectations of meeting new friends, joining clubs and getting something new from your life. It’s difficult to know where to turn to get

“The Unions should be your first stop, for now, and for the rest of the year.”
stop, for now, and for the rest of the year. The University of Glasgow has a unique system of Student Bodies. The QM is one of two Unions, alongside the GUU, as well as the Sports Association (GUSA) and Students Representative Council (SRC). Choosing which Union to join may be instinctive for some, and a hard choice for others. No matter which Union you choose, take the time to explore both. We’ve put together a great Freshers’ Week for you. Judith and the team have been working hard all summer to make

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the building guide

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It might not be the most beautiful building in the world but the QM’s got a lot on the inside.

The Ground Floor

Traditional entry point for a building, this is where lots of exciting stuff is; Qudos our main venue, our shop, and access to other parts of the building.

Foyer and Cafe
The reception desk, on your left as you enter the building, is the place to go if you want to know what’s going on in the QM – the reception staff will be able to give you the most up-to-date information on gigs, other events and meetings of clubs and societies. It’s also the place to buy your tickets for QM gigs. If you’re entering the building after 5pm then you’ll have to flash your punched matriculation card to prove your membership. Students who are members of other student unions may enter (although restrictions apply). Four guests may be signed-in as guests of members at any time. Whether it’s cigarettes, condoms, a newspaper, a packet of crisps or some paper clips you’re after, the Shop has them all. As an added bonus, it also doubles as the off-license that’s open the latest in the West End. Members may purchase off-sales into the small hours of Friday and Saturday night, and until midnight Tuesday. This is an exclusive service for members only, and is a great reason to join! The Coffee Bar sells the best coffee, tea, milkshakes, muffins and paninis on campus. We stock Fair Trade products for those who want an ethical brew and bite. At night the Coffee Bar turns into a bottle bar, selling beer, juice and hotdogs. There is a photocopy room located adjacent to the stairs. Copy cards can be purchased from the Shop. Ladies and Gents are located on the left through the coffee bar doors. Next to the Girls toilets there are two bank machines, dispensing your hardearned cash at any time of day. There are stairs to other floors, they’re like a lift but better for you and there’s a lift which is like the stairs, but easier. Vending machines are on the right as you enter the building, for quick snacks and drinks. The Cloakroom is open on club nights and is a safe place to store your clothes while you dance naked around the building at a cost of 50p. Please note that you may not store your annoying mate here, unless of course he fits in your jacket pocket.

All the QM’s club nights and gigs are run in Qudos. As well as being a fantastic gig venue it also boasts a big screen, a dancefloor, a bar, and some seats. You can watch sporting events and movies on the big screen, dance until you drop on the dance-floor, and then rest your weary legs on the seats. What more could you ask for in a venue? Everyone from Queen to The Proclaimers to The Polyphonic Spree have played here, so why don’t you at our regular band night? Watch out for Neighbours on the big screen at lunch time later in the year, there’ll be sofas and everything.


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The First Floor

The First Floor’s got loads of stuff, like Jim’s bar, The Games Room Bar and, well yeah it’s just bars which is a laugh, and there’s some payphones.

Jim’s Bar

Jim’s is the Union’s main bar. As well as all the regular pub stuff (jukebox, tables, chairs, banter, beer and other drinks), Jim’s plays host to regular events, such as Ben & Andy’s Excellent Pub Quiz, Unplugged (open-mic night, Sundays), Mousetrap (pre-Cheesy Pop Fun), DJs and occasional mini daytime gigs. There are board games, cigarettes and snacks available from behind the bar too.

The Games Room Bar
Pool tables, games machines and a bar. It sells itself really. The bar is open from 11am every day, with lager on tap, and a great selection of bottled drinks. If you’d like to use a pool table at only 50p pick up a cue ball at the bar, on the deposit of your matriculation card. At really busy times you may have to wait for a table, so add your name to the list. There is a Pool Competition every Thursday night, everyone is welcome, and you can pocket yourself a share of £60 worth of bar vouchers.


some trivia, some true, some of which you might want to know, some of which is about the qm
Described in the 1969 Handbook as “a glittering palace of glass and a marvel of concrete”, the reality is the QMU is the youngest of the three ugly sisters on University Gardens. There are five floors totalling the approximate volume of three Olympic swimming pools. This could be used to make the world’s largest JD and Coke, requiring 2.5 million bottles of Coke and over 3.3 million bottles of Jack Daniels, that’s 900,000,000 units of alcohol. This would probably cause the hangover to beat all hangovers. Perhaps the most legendary night at the QMU happened on the 30th of November 1991 when Nirvana took stage in Qudos. Paying only £6 for a ticket, the crowd were treated to the sight of Kurt Cobain jumping into the crowd only to be pulled out by his hair with someone called David Grohl rescuing him from the stewards. One of the most frequently asked questions about the QM, is of course “who is Jim?”, but this isn’t really the place for this. To gain this wee nugget of information you’ll have to ask the Bar Staff.

he Queen Margaret Union was founded in 1890 when the Queen Margaret College joined Glasgow University. Sadly this monumentous event was overshadowed by the opening of one of the many eighth wonders of the World, the Forth Rail Bridge. The 1.5 mile long red engineering marvel was designed by Sir John Fowler and Sir Benjamin Baker, neither of whom have been QM members. The first president was Anne McMillan who managed three successive years in the role. In total there have been a hundred and twelve presidents, 153 less than there have been Popes. Current president Jamie McHale is the equivalent of Pope Boniface VI. For many years, The QM resided in the John McIntrye Building on University Avenue. The John Mac was the original home of the GUU and now houses the Students’ Representative Council. In the 1960s The QM moved to its newly built home at 22 University Gardens as part of the University’s “Triangle of Ugliness” along with the Maths and Boyd Orr building.

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The Second Floor

Hungry? Then there’s no better place in the West End, and it’s completely non-smoking so you can enjoy your meal to the full.

The Food Factory
The biggest and best eatery on campus, whether you’re peckish or starving the answer is the Food Factory. Breakfast, the most important meal of the day, is served between 8am and 11:30am. You can choose from the full breakfast, or the cheaper and more portable breakfast roll. For about three quid you can get yourself a piping hot made-to-order pizza which you can share with your friends if you’re feeling nice. Should you be stingy, poor, or not too hungry, you can buy a french bread pizza instead. For those of you who like your food to be green, we recommend the salad bar. As well as lettuce and the like, you can normally find pasta salads, tuna/mayo, potato salad and coleslaw. The main servery offers you the option of hot, traditional style meals. There are normally four options of which two are vegetarian. If you’re feeling a little fragile then you can opt for the lighter soup option. If there is something you need to survive a Glaswegian winter, it’s hot fairly traded drinks. The Food Factory can provide you with delicious coffee, hot chocolate, and a variety of teas. On the right as you enter the doors is the Café, serving up filled baguettes, baked potatoes, pastries and drinks.

The Third Floor

A lot of work is done on the third floor, but there’s also some fun stuff and if you don’t come and tell us what you want, we’ll never know. Don’t be shy.
book these rooms in the General Office if you’re organising an event. Room hire is free to affiliated Clubs and Societies. You can find out more about affiliating your society to the Union at or by contacting the Honorary Secretary. If you’ve got a problem, query or suggestion there are three places worth trying after you’ve been to the reception, and they’re all on the third floor. The General Office is open from 9am-5pm every weekday. It is as general and office-like as it sounds. If you want to apply for a job at The QM, book a meeting room, send a fax, or find out information, the office is the place to go. The Executive Office is where the President, Honorary Secretary and Honorary Assistant Secretary work. If you have any serious questions about the QM these are the people to speak to. The Convenors office is where Convenors of the Board of Management can often be found. If you want to get involved with any of the Union committees, or have a question for a Board Member, this is the place. Also on this floor are the General Manager’s office, The House Manager’s office, the Entertainments office and some of the best toilets on campus.


on’t panic, it’s not that scary. It might be where a lot of The QM’s work is done but it’s also where more interesting elements that set us apart from a normal club are kept.

For your pleasure, The Third Floor has a laundry to wash and dry your clothes. Washing powder is available from Reception. There’s the TV Room. You may sit there and watch the massive plasma screen chill, chat and generally get away from it all. For exam time there are the 24hr Study Rooms, one for smokers, one for non-smokers. If you want to study in the building overnight then you must tell the porter and leave your matric card with him before 1am. If you’re going to a meeting it’ll either be in The Board Room or one of the Committee Rooms. The Board of Management and The QM’s various committees meet in the Board Room and all members are encouraged to attend. It’s got a massive table, which is attractively shaped to reflect the design of the room itself and some rather plush leather chairs. The Committee Rooms aren’t quite so lovely but much more useful. You can

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club nights
weekly club nights

At The QM, we’re not just content to play traditional student tunes at our club nights, we give you more credit than that. So we try and give as big a range in our club nights as possible.


evolution has been The QM’s Tuesday club night for a number of years now and has established itself as the biggest Rock, Metal and Punk night in Scotland. With new resident DJ Martin Bate, the institution which is Revolution looks set to continue to play a vital role in the Glasgow rock scene. Whatever your taste in the

alternative from Nine Inch Nails to Reel Big Fish, from Metallica to System of a Down and from Feeder to The Sex Pistols then Revolution is fired up and ready to provide it. Rev makes practicing air guitar in your bedroom look like going to flower pressing conventions with your granny. Come along, rock out and bring it on!


he non-negotiable part of any night out should be fun, and Chart Attack provides more fun than sky diving in the nude. Launched last year with a legendary performance by the great Colin Murray, Chart Attack has played host to a set of the greatest nights the QM’s ever seen. If you’re looking for a club night with some extra spice, DJ Euan’s

own brand of mixing is sure to satisfy. Scanning the charts for the latest in new releases and fresh downloads Euan uses the best of the mainstream to keep your feet on the dance floor and your arms in the air every Wednesday. Watch out for our Colin Murray specials throughout the year, which always sell out fast. Now that’s what I call a club night.


f you like flirting with the NME, then Style and Substance is the only place to be on a Thursday night. It beats a night in with Zane Lowe and your ipod playlist because we’ve got a club night which caters for everyone who’re into their new and classic indie music. Crammed with recent live crowdrockers The Killers, Franz Ferdinand,

Futureheads, Hot Hot Heat, and Bloc Party; as well as old favourites such as Belle and Sebastian, The Stone Roses, New Order, Embrace and The Smiths, plus some surprises stuffed in between. All this comes straight after RAW, so Thursday nights out are all you ever need to keep you well up to date with the current music scene.

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heesy Pop’s been running for well over a decade now and it’s as strong as ever. On Fridays, after Mousetrap, head downstairs and let DJ Toast drop some massive old-school tunes that will have you dancing like a total fanny. Everything from 2-Unlimited and Outkast to Guns ‘n’ Roses and The Weathergirls. It’s sure to put a smile on

your face. Consistently The QM’s biggest weekly party, Cheesy Pop is all about hanging out with your mates and letting off some steam after a hard week’s missing lectures. Here you can cast off your inhibitions and just have a laugh. If you asked a lot of people why they joined the QM, Cheesy Pop might just be their answer.

saturday club nights

eats ‘n’ Pieces is already causing a stir around campus. Anticipation of the QM’s new Funk, Reggae and Hip Hop night which is set to take the Glasgow club scene by storm. Launched on the Saturday of Fresher’s Week and continuing one Saturday a month for the rest of the year. Hosted by two of Subcity Radio’s top DJs, Beats ‘n’ Pieces is sure to get you coming back for more, with funk fuelled fun to blast away the famous Glasgow weather. We’re all getting ready to get our groove on. Are you?


aturday 24th September sees the launch of The QM’s new quarterly theme night. Random brings the weekend to you four times per year with a mixture of the best pop tunes and the coolest underground mixes. Each event will give you another chance to dress up With themes from School Discos to Beach Parties and Mardi Gras planned throughout the year. Make sure you keep an eye out for the date and theme of the next one, you won’t regret it. Because at the end of the day, when all’s said and done, music is just like life.


he last Saturday of each month plays host to Glasgow’s longest running and most successful Goth, Industrial, Cyber and Metal club night. Combining all the best elements of the city’s darker side, Bedlam provides for the growing Gothic community of the West Coast. Bands such Rammstein, VNV Nation, Marilyn Manson, Sisters of Mercy and Depeche Mode produce an atmosphere unmatched in Scotland. Having recently celebrated its seventh birthday, Bedlam looks set to continue as Scotland’s biggest Gothic club night.

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Spoonie spells it out
reetings Freshers! You have already made a fine choice to study at the University of Glasgow. Your decision making doesn’t end here, however. You see, here at Glasgow, we have a network of student support and participation that makes us unique. Where most universities have a single body in charge of providing entertainment, services, support and representation, we’ve got three. Two Unions (the Queen Margaret Union and the Glasgow University Union) and also the Students Representative Council. It might seem like a strange situation to end up in, but there’s good reason for it. The GUU was set up as the “Men’s Union” and The QM was established a few years later as somewhere for the women to socialise. In 1979, the QM allowed men to join and the following year, the GUU admitted women. This means you have a choice to make – will you join the QM or the GUU? Well there’s no need to decide just yet, you’ve got five weeks grace to use both Unions freely, but by then you need to get yourself in to one or the other and sign up as a member. You can still make use of the services in either, but the membership system gets you in cheaper and allows you to vote. Nowadays, the Unions are bustling social centres of uni life. They offer places to eat and drink, shops, social events, meeting places for clubs and societies and a huge variety of ways to get involved. So what about the SRC? The SRC focuses exclusively on the provision of non-profit services for students. Among these services is a second-hand bookshop, an advice centre, excellent photocopying facilities and a multitude of opportunities to get involved in volunteering projects, both locally and abroad. Most of all, the SRC is here to help you out. Whatever kind of problem you’re having, be that accommodation, money, your studies or anything related to the student experience, the SRC

Questions about all these different groups trying to get your attention? Spoonie’s got the answers.
should be one of the first places you call. The representatives you elect onto the SRC sit on a variety of committees both within the SRC and, importantly, with the University. It’s the job of student officers (such as myself) to make sure that those who pull the strings at the University hear your views. Back in the day, Union rivalry was a real problem on campus, especially during Freshers’ Week but now the Unions live in relative harmony. It’s unfortunately still common for die-hard GUU fanatics to refer to the QMU as being “Full of Goths” and likewise for QM supporters to talk about the “Rugby Boys Club” of the GUU, but both have moved on dramatically and left those dark days behind, the taunts being less heartfelt and more of a joke. Nowadays, there’s


“The unions cater for all tastes and although you’ll probably have a favourite, take advantage of all the opportunities that come your way.”
just about enough of a rivalry to ensure that the Unions remain competitive, without the need to soil one another’s premises. Things have moved on in terms of living up to the stereotypes too. For example, I’m now on the SRC Exec and I’m unquestionably the coolest man on campus! We do have our geeks but we leave them in the cupboards to play with their DJ equipment. It’s fair to say that at the GUU there is still a danger of a rugby player getting his balls out and putting them in your pint, but that’s a small price to pay for a cheap Diesel. And if you think the Goths have vacated the QMU, take a look at the people who

attend Bedlam. On a more serious note, the two unions cater for all tastes and although you’ll probably have a favourite, remember to take advantage of all the opportunities that come your way. One inevitable part of the year on campus is Election Season. The Boards of Management of each Union and the SRC are democratically elected by the students they represent. You can only vote in your respective Union’s elections but all students can vote for the SRC. There are elections in Autumn, but the Spring Elections are when the sprawling mountains of Haribo take over the pavements and you find yourself with a sore face from over-chewing. It’s no exaggeration to say that our campus is home to literally hundreds of clubs and societies on top of all these student bodies so to each and every fresher who reads this, there is a place for you somewhere. You just have to go and find it. Anyway, if any of you see me kicking about either Union in FW or throughout the rest of the year, come over and say hello. I might be shit-faced but my banter’s usually not too shabby. Best of luck with your studies and enjoy the coming years. They really are the bollocks!

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fun stuff

Dancing like a fanny not your thing? Then we’ve a whole host of regular events to keep you entertained throughout the week, and who knows, you might just win some stuff at them too.


t’s one night that should always be in your weekly planner. Our hosts Ben and Andrew are here to entertain you while shouting out some great quiz rounds! They are supported by none other than DJ NuStart, who spins some beats that everyone will enjoy. Come along every Wednesday Night at 8 p.m. to have a chance to win two crates of Stella and £100 in bar vouchers. Remember: it’s the biggest and best pub quiz around! The NME said so.


he phrase, “Let’s watch TV before we go to Cheesy Pop” is a thing of the past, thanks to Mousetrap. A quiz show, game show, freak show amalgamation where the only rule is to show up and just have fun! Presented by retro 90s throwback, SEGA Gary, it’s the warm up for any weekend worth mentioning. Friday night at 7pm in Jim’s Bar is the place to be. Everything else just doesn’t cut it.

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hursday night on the first floor, in The Games Room Bar, you can find the pool junkies getting ready to take part in our weekly pool competition. Don’t be frightened by the name pool junkie because the pool competion is for the amateur and enthusiast alike. Every week there’s over £60 of bar vouchers up for grabs and the end of term competition usually brings in a massive crowd; last term we gave away an Apple iPod! Come along and check it out every Thursday at 7pm with a £1 entrance fee.


ou’ll be excited to learn that Glasgow’s premium gig venue also serves movie goers, providing free viewings of big budget films, pre-releases, cult classics and exciting double and triple bills. In the past we’ve shown films including The Back to the Future trilogy, The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Jurassic Park. Enjoy the benefit of our 3 bars serving drinks during the film and delicious hotdogs for a mere £1. Watch out for up to date information on what films are coming soon.


The QM has a great reputation for music, both as a venue that’s played host to everyone from Queen to Ministry of Sound and as a hotbed for homegrown talent, here’s some ways to get your voice, triangle or didgeridoo heard.


re you an aspiring musician? Do you just like to sing in the shower with a bar of soap and want to go public? There are loads of chances to get up on stage at the QM. Sunday Nights are by far the easiest way to get a shoe in the door. UnPlugged is an open mic night for all those who want to take part. Hosted by Craig and Sophie it’s a chilled way to end the weekend, so come along to Jim’s and enjoy the atmosphere while convincing yourself you’re the next Jeff Buckley or Joan Baez. Don’t be fooled into thinking that the guitar is the only instrument that might appear; our stage frequently hosts beatboxers, bagpipes and barbershop quartets. So come along and check it out, and as a bonus, for your time on stage we give you a free drink! On Thursday, the most talented unsigned bands around campus and throughout Glasgow play on the legendary Qudos Stage. The QM’s local band night is the perfect place to check out who’s up and coming and who’s decidedly underground in Scotland’s biggest city. Get your own band together and you to could find yourself headlining on a stage which has hosted everyone from Ben Folds Five and Lemon Jelly to Pato Banton, although unfortunately not

all at the same time. Don’t worry if you don’t make the headliner slot, Nirvana didn’t when they played here and they’re apparently quite popular even though they’ve not recorded anything in ages. NorthPark Community, the QM’s very own record label, started out with an album of songs from UnPlugged, with one of its performers going on to sign with Chemikal Underground. After a couple of quiet years the label was NorthPark and in 2003 and 2004 it released a CD in Freshers’ Week featuring bands from UnPlugged and Raw. The QM has always been an important part of Glasgow’s music scene and NorthPark Community aims to encourage The QM’s members in their musical pursuits, with featured sessions at UnPlugged, gigs and training in useful stuff like sound engineering and gig promotion, as well as promoting their music with our compilations. Pick up a free copy of this year’s CD during Freshers’ Week and keep an eye out for posters if you want to get involved. If you enjoy the QM and enjoy music, there’s absolutely no reason not to mix the two.

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Take a good week and make it better.

Hey Jude,


whole week of partying. Just to check you got that, it’s your responsibility to party all week, party and wait … actually that’s it. Luckily for you, we here at The QM have organised the best week of entertainment possible, just for you guys. I think this is the best place to be in the whole world right now, at least in Glasgow anyway.

This week is all for you, and life doesn’t get much better. 30 quid for a Cross Campus Freshers’ Week Pass and you’re sorted for the week. It’s really worth buying one because you are unlikely to get into the events without one, and I want to see you here every night. It’s going to be a mix between Glastonbury, your own hen/stag night and that party you stumbled into last Friday where you didn’t know anyone. The QM acts as a second home to a lot of ace folk, a place of so many superb gigs, and then there’s that cosy little corner in Jim’s, a perfect reason to miss your hyper-important 4pm lecture. I know that this week’s line-up do it justice. Get this – in the afternoon we have a top–notch local band and a different themed quiz event everyday as well as pool competitions, haircutting and bouncy castles. Check the next few pages, which are bulging with the events put on for your pleasure all day and every day.

Nights are when you should really come out to play, and there’s a special package of events each night. Radio One’s Sexiest DJ, Colin Murray, is guest starring at our Chart Attack on Tuesday Night. He’s known to create total carnage in this, his favourite student union. Biffy Clyro play for us on Wednesday night, followed by the after-party at Revolution, Scotland’s biggest rock night. On Thursday it’s all about the unmatchable music scene in Glasgow. We’ve got some top indie bands, followed by local music heroes Gary Lightbody and Tom Simpson from some band called Snow Patrol at the decks.Sleazy Cheesy Pop on Friday is an eclectic mix of pop tunes from Britney to the Ghostbusters, themed to the eye-balls in neon, sleaze and all that jazz. You’re young, free and potentially single, and you’ve got the world at your feet. Uni doesn’t start for ages so just get out there and try a bit of everything you’d normally do and everything you wouldn’t. I’ve been looking forward to this week for ages and chances are you’ve been looking forward to this for ages as well, and I’m sure you look great. Stop looking in the mirror, stop reading what I’ve got to say, and get up and enjoy the electric atmosphere that is Freshers’ Week 2005. I’ll probably see you about in Jim’s.

qm freshers’ helpers


If you’re in halls and a group of blue t-shirted smiling hotties arrive don’t worry, it is all good. They really just want to give

The clue is in the name, they are here to help you, use them. Oh yeah, each day one of them will be the QM fugitive, so take a closer look at those blue t-shirts and you might just win something.

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he entire crew in blue have been handpicked for your every need this week. In theory they are older and potentially wiser students from all over campus. So if you can’t quite remember where the Main Gate is or you have just realised that the people you’re sitting next to smell and you want nothing more than to leave their company – find a Freshers’ Helper. They want you to have the best week possible and hold vital information about the week’s events. They would be more than happy to give you their advice on what to be doing, after all they voluntarily and proudly represent all of our 7000 members.

you some colourful QM posters to cover up the gawd awful white prison walls. If you make them a quick wee cuppa then they will really let loose on juicy tips for the week. The helpers represent everyone in The QM from The Food Factory muncher who has never been to Cheesy Pop right through to the Jim’s Barfly as well as the active board/committee members. Whichever category you fit into by early next year, look out for opportunites to be a Freshers’ Helper 2006, if you are still game of course.

pull out freshers’ week guide

open till 3am all week • open till 3am all week • open till 3am all week •

pull out freshers’ week guide


with martin bate


DJ euan

& Colin Murray

11am Breakfast Pub Have a pint & watch some cartoons in Jim’s Bar. 1pm Best of Glasgow Music Scene in Jim’s bar 1.45pm Neighbours on the Big screen in Qudos, it’s spiggin’ ace. 2pm It’s not the Freshers’ Address, it’s a quiz with lots of prizes This is kind of self explanatory really, it’s a quiz in Jim’s Bar, hosted by Campus Legends Spoonie and DJ Troutfish. There’ll be dancing, drinking-games and maybe a few questions, with the chance to win a set of decks. 3pm Fun House It’s a whole lot of fun with prizes to be won in Qudos. 8pm Chart Attack with Colin Murray including Samba Ya Bamba. 9pm Subcity DJs in Jim’s Bar.

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11am Breakfast Pub Have a pint & watch some cartoons in Jim’s Bar. 1pm Best of Glasgow Music Scene in Jim’s bar 3pm Beat the Barber Can you beat the barber to save your hair? You’ll have to if you want to keep it! Come along to Jim’s Bar to laugh at people trying to save their mops, or if you’re brave enough, put yourself up for a crop and pocket a digital camera! 4pm Ben & Andy’s Excellent Pub Quiz Join hosts Andrew and Ben along with DJ NuStart in Jim’s Bar for an afternoon edition of their fun-filled pub quiz. Expect great question rounds, big prizes, and lots of people dancing for some free beer. 6pm Budweiser Penalty Shoot Out Football fun in The Games Room. 8pm Revolution with Biffy Clyro and Fickle Public 10pm Mixed Bizness on The Second Floor. 9pm Subcity DJs in Jim’s Bar.

• open till 3am all week • open till 3am all week • open till 3am all week

with tam coyle


11am Breakfast Pub Have a pint & watch some cartoons in Jim’s Bar. 1pm Best of Glasgow Music Scene in Jim’s bar 2pm School Sports Day Head over to the West Quadrangle to relive the days you have just left. The QM have joined up with GUSA to give you the chance to win prizes, while joining in on games like the three-legged race, egg and spoon race and a wheelbarrow race plus many more! 2pm Pool Comp Get to the Games Room early to enter the pool competition. You can be an amateur or experienced player to be in with a chance of winning an iPod. 3pm Unplugged The QM’s open mic night is a chance for you to show off your musical abilities. Sing a song, play the guitar, or read a poem, whatever you fancy. 3pm West End Shopping Trip Our helpers will show you round the best kept secrets of your new town and get you some discounted bargains. 7pm Sports Quiz GUSA host a sports quiz for all. 8pm Style And Substance with Gary and Tom from Snow Patrol, Data Panik and My Latest Novel. 9pm Subcity DJs in Jim’s Bar

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11am Breakfast Pub Have a pint & watch some cartoons in Jim’s Bar. 1pm Best of Glasgow Music Scene in Jim’s bar 1.45pm Neighbours on the Big screen in Qudos, you’d have to be a complete cake taker to miss it. 2pm Refresh Get a make over and have a nice cup of tea. 4pm Mousetrap Feeling tired yet? Fear no more, because sega Gary and Omar are here with Mousetrap, guaranteed to liven up your Friday afternoon and get you ready for the rest of the night! Packed with lots of fun, games and prizes. 7pm Enjoy Cocktails a classy way to start as you mean to go on. 8pm Sleazy Cheesy Pop Featuring The Fusion Experience and Urban Cookie Collective as well as home grown superstar DJ Toast in Qudos, while on the second floor you can try your luck with The Fabulous Scott Brothers Casino and Vegas style tunes from Frankie Sumatra.

pull out freshers’ week guide



pull out freshers’ week guide


ubcity Radio is the internet radio station based here at The University of Glasgow. For the past eleven years Subcity has been pushing the boundaries of student radio in all respects. Unlike most other student stations, Subcity has always been aimed squarely at music lovers across the city. It has consistently provided a service unavailable anywhere else in Glasgow with nearly 90% specialist programming. In Freshers’ Week Subcity are let loose for three nights in Jim’s Bar on a mission to get up-close and personal, and expose Freshers to as many different genres of music as is musically possible. With the cream of the station’s DJs in attendance, they’re sure to be whipping up something special. If their radio shows are anything to go by, expect to hear everything from psychedelica to Sesame Street hip-hop, with a smattering of dub thrown in for good measure. On Tuesday they will be kick-starting the week with a blend of house and techno, moving through US garage and ending up at disco. And we mean real disco, not Saturday Night Fever. Wednesday promises a more downtempo affair, with chilled electronica easing you into another night of debauchery. Add some broken beats and Jim’s will be the perfect place to recover from Revolution’s aural trauma.

Once you’re done shoegazing to Style&Substance indie, get your ass up the stairs for some real dancing - Jamaican Dancehall, Funk, HipHop and Dubstep If you like what you hear, or want to try before you buy, then you can check out all the DJs on where their shows from February’s FM broadcast are available to listen again. For another chance to see them in the flesh, back in their native environment of a sweaty club, look out for Subcity’s annual Block Party at the end of October. Subcity has no set playlist so is probably the only station in the country to be playing UK Garage, US Garage, Grime, Death Metal, Dancehall and Indie all in one night. The station broadcasts online all year round and one month a year on FM. There are also plans to establish a year round AM broadcast this year. As a web based station, Subcity relies on its website to keep people interested and informed. The site has grown exponentially over the last couple of years and has now become a genuine community. The forums are the place to go to find out what’s hot on the Glasgow music scene - from illegal raves to the latest art-rock releases. is also the best place to keep track of Subcity’s famed club nights and events throught the city.

The Best of Glasgow Music Prizes to be won this week Scene
The New PSP A Parachute Jump Several iPods Numark Ions DJ Set Air Hockey Table Digital Camera Over £500 of bar vouchers
sega Mega Drive

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Glasgow’s miles better than just about anywhere in the world at the moment for a flourishing music scene. Franz Ferdinand, Belle and Sebastian, even Snow Patrol pretend they’re from here. So every day in Jim’s at 1pm during Freshers’ Week, there’s a chance to see the next big thing. It’ll be a chilled way to start your day and you might get something to brag to your kids about.

Nintendo snes Club Night Passes And much, much more

tuesday night
Radio One’s Sexiest DJ, Colin Murray guest stars our Tuesday Club Night Chart Attack. He is known to create total carnage in his favourite student union, keeping you dancing and singing right until you drop. There will be a party bus arriving at halls at 8 to get you here to put you in the mood for the biggest party you will have ever been too.

Colin Murray
After the phenomenal success of his performance at last year’s Freshers’ Week, Radio 1 DJ Colin Murray is returning to what he calls “the best fucking club in the UK”. Colin has become a bit of a regular here as he tries to play a gig at least once a term, saying the “QM is like my living room now”. But Colin didn’t start off as the superstar DJ he is today. He started his working life as a grave digger, but quickly moved on to a more prosperous career in the media. After various stints writing for newspapers at home in Northern Ireland and in Canada, Colin successfully set up his own magazine. Since then, Colin’s cheeky grin often graces our screens, and he still writes for various publications, but more often than not, he’s on the radio with sidekick Edith Bowman. What can you expect from a Colin Murray gig? His usual eclectic mix of classic anthems and chart toppers, along with lots of jumping around on stage and enjoying the night with the crowd. This is guaranteed to kick start Freshers’ Week with a bang; you can’t afford to miss it!

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There’s no way to miss SambaYaBamba, just follow your ears and move to the beat! SambaYaBamba are a dynamic and innovative Glasgow based percussion group. Influenced by Brazilian music, they perform a number of styles in their show, including Rio style Samba and Reggae through to contemporary interpretations of Drum ‘n’ Bass, Hip Hop and Bhangra. The group are guaranteed to bring a festival atmosphere to Qudos, so come along to shake your stuff and see for yourself what the group describes as “a unique style packed with an energy that leaves the audience in no doubt that they’ve experienced something very special indeed.”

wednesday night
The legendary Biffy Clyro play for us on Wednesday night followed by the after-party at Revolution, Scotland’s biggest rock night. If that ain’t your style, that’s okay because we’re all about variety. Glasgow’s Mixed Bizness lets lose all over the second floor with beat boxers and breakdancers to keep everyone busy.

Punk rock to some, experimental rock to the band, melodic harmonies with lovelorn lyrics to the female fans, perhaps a total opposite to others – the beauty of this Glasgow based trio is their wide appeal. If you enjoy anything in the vast genre of rock, you are bound to love the greatness that is Biffy Clyro. With recognition from the likes of the late John Peel, Vic & Gill and Zane Lowe they are the next big name in rock. Biffy Clyro will give you a night of unashamed mosh pit madness, but also plenty of moments to get out a lighter and sway. Don’t be the only one to miss it!

In just over a year Mixed Bizness has estabished itself as one of Glasgow’s most unique, diverse and exciting club nights. Found tonight in The Second Floor, expect a music policy that draws on everything from Hip Hop, Funk, Reggae, Soul, Jazz, Drum & Bass, House, Breakbeat and anything else the residents care for. Residents Boom Monk Ben and Pro Vinylist Karim are two of Glasgow’s most prolific, talented and hard working young DJs with two of the most diverse, inviting and down right funkin’ record collections in the city so you’re in safe hands. Let’s not forget about Scotland’s number one breakers, The Flying Jalapenos or beat boxers, Bigg Taj and Quest.

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Hailing from the Highlands of Scotland and now settled in Glasgow, Fickle Public are one of the most up-beat bands you can see. Described as rough trade pop combined with dischord punk, intelligently pieced together to create songs that are as loud as they are fast. Best heard live, they have made fans Jetplane Landing and Aereogramme and have toured with and supported the likes of JPL and Alkaline Trio. Be prepared for a band fit to get you going for the night.

thursday night
Thursday is all about the Glasgow music scene. We’ve got two brilliant bands for you to check out, and local heroes Gary Lightbody and Tom Simpson from a band called Snow Patrol at the decks before our most individual club night: Style and Substance.
“Don’t expect any Snow Patrol songs!”warns Tom Simpson as he and Gary Lightbody prepare for a DJ set in Qudos adding “We don’t sit in the house and listen to our own songs and have a dance to them. That’d be pretty sad if we did!” The pair will perform their usual eclectic DJ set; expect anything & everything from Hip-Hop to House, Dance to Dub reggae and special remixes with some pretty mean dancing in between. Tom summed up the night: “it’ll be mainly us having a party, we’ll be dancing when we’re playing the tunes as well!”

Data Panik are a five-piece electro band formed from the ashes of 90’s Glaswegian band Bis. They are influenced by NewWave, Disco and Electronic Punk and their new album has been compared with the likes of The B-52’s and early Human League. Data Panik will truly transcend their reference points to create a sound that is as fresh as it is dangerously unique.

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This band are often lazily described as the new Belle and Sebastian, but they seem to think of themselves as a more mixed bag, saying that they’re “quiet, sometimes downbeat, at times shambolic, but with nice harmonies” and with influences as diverse as Mogwai, Smog, Sigur Ros and The Velvet Underground who can blame them. They recently supported The Pixies and played T in the Park this summer. Good things are happening in the world of My Latest Novel, so why not be a part of it?

friday night


ou’ve been ceilidhed and quizzed, you’ve rocked, rolled, and recovered and now it’s time for the mainstay of a night out at the QM: The Original and Best, Cheesy Pop. Especially for you we’ve put on a thick layer of sleaze for the classiest and dirtiest experience you’re likely to have this term. Necking Lambrini in your bugridden student kitchen just isn’t what it’s all about. Tonight it’s West End Vegas NYC Gotham Sin City and you’ve got to be a cool cat or a brilliant broad to swing your stuff here. Watch out for stretch limos from halls to Jim’s for a cocktail or two from 7pm, but be sure to keep your class and your cool for the rest of the night’s events.

Sleazy Cheesy Pop
This is the traditional and classic Cheesy Pop presented in style by our favourite resident DJ Toast. Expect anything from Iron Maiden to the Ghostbusters theme on this down and dirty night of decadence. Tonight he’s going to be joined onstage by Vanity Kills, a locally based burlesque dancer. Known for smouldering and edgy seductiveness, she’s our very own Sin City Nancy and sure to keep your cheese warm and gooey as you dance until the mafia gets you at 3am.

Casino Deuxieme Etage
The icing on the cake. From 10pm on the 2nd floor we’re treating you to Frankie Sumatra and the Fabulous Scott Brothers Casino. DJ Frank Sumatra, a “lounge lizard on vacation” is going to smooth you over with an intoxicating cocktail of easy listening, hipster swing, hot jazz, libidinous Latin rhythms and a dash of good ol’ country. But that’s not all, spend your hard-earned, found, begged or stolen Cheesy Pop Dollars at the Fabulous Scott Brothers Casino and win some top prizes in the process.

page 20

The Key, The Secret

When midnight strikes, take a trip down a memory side-alley. Remember school discos? Remember trying to stack the shelves and catch the stars while singing “I’ve got the key, I’ve got the secret” the Urban Cookie Collective’s massive old school hit. Now you can do it all again when they play at The QM tonight.

In Qudos at 9pm we’re giving you a jazz-dipped electronic sensation with The Fusion Experience one of the coolest bands in Glasgow according to those in the know. Dance the night away to their mix of funky jazz with a Latin twist, making this fantastic band a must see live act.

The Fusion Experience

At the QM we try to lead by example. We run our business fairly and ethically and want to do business with companies that are run fairly and ethically. The QM has boycotted Nestle products for years now. Since the Baby Milk Action campaign (see www. brought to light the company’s unethical work practices, The QM felt that it could no longer in all good conscience continue to do business with

Coaxingspeaks up Confidence Kat Borrowdale
for un-sung shyness


ometimes it’s just easier to fake it. No, not orgasms: friendliness. Like it or not in your first couple of weeks on campus your social life is going to explode. Unless you’re prepared you may be hit with the kind of metaphorical flying debris you’ll want to avoid, like that feeling that everyone else has made fast friends while you’re the loner in the corner swigging a bottle of Frosty Jack’s resolutely until you can force yourself to collapse next to a potential new friend in a desperate act of camaraderie. I should point out that being open and approachable to fellow human beings is very different to pledging your undying love to someone you’ve just met. I’m talking about the first moments trying to start a conversation with a stranger, and you have to rely on a boost of confidence or a shot of vodka. The vodka helps, but even more useful is convincing yourself, just for a second, that you are the kind of person who does this. Thus, the art of faking it.

preventing you from making new friends who will challenge and influence the way you perceive things. My point is not that you should lie about who you are, but that you should take the opportunity to fake your own confidence and assertiveness. You merely have to pretend to be the kind of person who isn’t afraid to talk to random strangers; who’s never experienced that crippling kind of self-consciousness; and you might believe it yourself. Just fake being outgoing for the moment you first meet someone. After that you can relax a bit, as you’ve got over the initial hurdle of saying hello. One of the other benefits of this is that you’ll end up talking to the kind of people you’d probably never dream of getting to know, and you’ll hopefully discover that you’ve got more in common than you think. If not, that’s even better, because in life it’s important to assess and challenge your perceptions. The worst thing you can do is to stick to a plan of who you want to meet and who you’d like to be: here’s an opportunity for you to explore all options. It’s also pretty much guaranteed that you’ll be completely wrong about who you expected at least a few people to be based on first impressions. Everyone has bad days, and they’ll be just as nervous and awkward about making new mates as you are. There’s also a marginal chance that alcohol will play a major role in the proceedings of Freshers’ Week, and you have to remember that it can cause normally sane people to talk absolute babble. I’m not suggesting you walk around with a big fake smile on your face all the time as it’s actually terrifying. I’m just saying you should be open. You really don’t have to be to enjoy meeting new people, but it might just give you the motivation you need to get over any awkwardness and make some fast friends. So you should give faking it a try, just for a while. In my opinion, while an orgasm is something you should never fake, confidence is a different story, and sometimes you have to coax it into existence.

“We run our business fairly and ethically and want to do business with companies that are run fairly and ethically.”
them. There have been referenda since the original ban to ask the membership if they wished The QM to continue the boycott and the answer has always been a resounding yes. Last year The QM decided to try and offer a Fair Trade alternative to products wherever possible. We then pushed The University to change their work practices and opt for Fair Trade. In February 2005 our perseverance paid off and the University of Glasgow earned Fair Trade accreditation. Apathy seems to come part and parcel with being a student these days. However, as an ethically run union we strongly believe that students should take an interest in issues such as these because you are the people who can make a difference in the long run.

“while an orgasm is something you should never fake, confidence is a different story, ”
It’s very rarely acknowledged that being open and approachable just doesn’t come naturally to most people. It’s something that the majority of us, quite understandably, feel a bit awkward about. After all, it takes a huge amount of confidence to assume that you are the kind of person others will want to make friends with. Plus, you may end up feeling exhausted with the same questions about name, origin and subjects coming up time and time again. So why not just be yourself? Well, sometimes it doesn’t hurt to realise that you aren’t as fixed an entity as you might like to think. You may have preconceptions of the kind of people you want to make friends with, and an idea of who you’ll want to be seen as, but this can put limitations on your own potential to grow and change, sometimes


page 21

A helping hand
Stumbled upon a cosy joint and thought I’d stay for a quick one,

I felt like such a cliche. I was lonely. The fresher, new in town.

Found myself wandering aimlessly looking for kicks.

I ordered up a ginger ale and stared at the local rag when… I even bought a raffle ticket.


the doors burst open

It just wasn’t enough,

Despite myself I enjoyed these musicians.

I wanted more & headed down.

Roz Scoular - Campaigns Convenor


Campaigns Committee
Initiative for all your barrier contraseptive needs. We even arrange a Christmas party for the children of staff both on campus and within The QM. Most importantly, campaigning is a lot of fun! We have a well-established and friendly committee that run various events and fundraisers throughout the year, so there is always something to do. With student apathy stronger now, more than ever, campaigning for issues such as these is becoming increasingly important. So, whether you feel strongly about student welfare or believe that you can help save the world, the Campaigns Committee is the place for you.

e make a difference. We don’t just sit around eating Fair Trade chocolate, we have gained Fair Trade accreditation across The University.


We are also responsible for the ethical standpoint of The QM, for example the Nestle ban, and for raising awareness of key issues affecting students. The fun doesn’t stop there. Through the campaigns committee, The QM provides services for the student body as a whole, from information desks to entire weeks dedicated to issues such as Sexually Transmitted Diseases and Student Housing Security. This year we are offering the C-Card with The Sandyford

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I walked across the dancefloor aiming for the bar.

I realised this was the real deal and I wanted more than just a passing flirtation. I’d seen this broad in the paper so asked what this shindig was all about. Apparently these fools would let anyone help run their operation… All I had to do was go to a meeting.

Entertainments Committee
Seumas Bates - Entertainments Convenor


It’s the Entertainments Committee’s job to make sure it stays this good. It sounds a bit wanky but the committee is made up of all sorts of people who just love music and want everyone else to as well. We’re going to be starting two new club

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he QM is one of Scotland’s top venues for live music and its stage has been graced by The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Mr Scruff, Nirvana, Roni Size, Fear Factory, Snow Patrol and Queen. The QM is also one of Glasgow’s premiere nightclubs (“the best nightclub in Britain” – Colin Murray) playing host to a huge spectrum of music, everything from metal to cheese to funk.

nights this year and that’s largely down to our efforts. Ents are responsible for the set-up and running of the QM’s club nights and gigs, so as well as planning The QM’s entertainments you can help run them. With us, you can learn about the correct set-up and operation of all the QM’s cool equipment as well as the less technical side of preparing for The QM’s special events, such as our end of term party, 12 Hour Cheesy Pop. As a member of Ents you can participate in everything from launching a new club night to settingup for a gig or blowing up thousands of balloons. Anyway, it sure beats writing essays and stuff like that.

Despite my misgivings, I turned up to the meet

Although I was just small fry I had big plans and thought I’d try my luck.

I sketched out my ideas and suddenly it dawned on me…

these cats a were lapping it up, they actually liked my ideas.

They pulled me in and I just kept getting deeper.







Wednes day 25th

May 200

5 Sum mer













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Publications Committee
Joe Evans - Publications Convenor



ee your work in print and being read by hundreds of people. Meet bands and other celebrities. Go to see films or get cds for free before they come out. Become a minor celebrity. Learn skills that may get you a job one day. Does this sound good to you? There are lots of opportunities to get involved in the media across campus and we have some of the best in the country. The Publications committee is a huge part of this. As well as this handbook and the diary you’ll be given when you join The QM, Publications Committee runs and our in-house magazine qmunicate.

In just a year, qmunicate has become a much loved and respected voice on campus. The magazine appears every day in Freshers’ Week and in a more expanded form fortnightly throughout the year. Including news, reviews and features, we try and cover all aspects of life at University and we need your help. If you want to write, design, take photos, proofread or just amuse us in the office, come along to meetings and get involved. The only way it will happen is with your help.

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Before I knew it I was part of this crazy affair, they were coming to me with problems and things were happening because of me.

What comess next? I don’t know, all I know is, I’m part of something big, and I want it to continue.


happens next? Getting involved with The QM is not like getting in with the mob. It’s fun and fullfilling and we aren’t likely to use concrete shoes or make you an offer you can’t refuse (although we can be quite tempting). Committee Meetings happen every week of term in The Board Room on the third floor. Campaigns: Mondays 5.00pm Entertainments: Tuesdays 5.30pm Publications: Wednesdays 5.30pm Social: Thursdays 5.30pm

Social Committee
So, are you looking to have a good year? Look no further. The Social Committee is one of the most active committees in The QM running events like the Film Night, Ben & Andy’s Excellent Pub Quiz, The Pool Comp, Mousetrap and UnPlugged. Social can help you to gain a range of different skills: learn how to put on a free film night, from setting up to ordering the film; organise the events themselves; write quiz rounds. Or even getting involved on a more artistic level by making flyers and posters. If these things sound good to you, or you just want to come in for a pint, a laugh and to see what we are all about, drop in to a meeting. Don’t forget that we can’t get better unless we hear from you! Don’t be afraid to come in and tell us what you think we need to improve. We hope to see you soon.

Erin Haig - Social Convenor

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the board
reshers’ Week is over, you’ve pledged allegiance to The QM (or at least you’ve become a member and make the pilgrimage to Cheesy Pop every Friday) and you attend the odd committee, putting in ideas and getting some freebies in return. What now? If you are a QM member, and you like The QM (or more importantly, if there’s something you don’t like about The QM) then consider running for the Board of Management. The QM Board is a group of students elected by students to run The Union. There aren’t any fat cats smoking cigars and making decisions behind closed doors, these students devote their spare time to making the QM the best it can be. They’re regular student (though they might like to think it) and anyone who’s a member of The QM can have a go at learning the inner workings of The Union and can help to run of Glasgow’s top venues. Being on The Board can be a lot of work, and (apart from The President) it isn’t paid, but it’s one of the most enjoyable experiences you can get out of being a student. As a Board Member you’ll have to decide on QM policy, discipline members who break the rules, and make sure everything’s running smoothly, but you’ll also get a chance to manage more exciting things too – such as this fine magazine, 12 hour Cheesy Pop or Freshers’ Week to name but three. There are also some brilliant benefits to being on the Board. These include free entry to all club nights and QM run events (and you can even sneak in after the 1am curfew), guest places for gigs, free meals, free drinks, a private lounge with comfy sofas and a flat-screen TV, use of an office with internet access, a kitchen, and the chance to dress up, eat posh food and party. On top of that you’ll have some fantastic skills and experiences to stick on your CV, and hopefully some great stories to tell at the end of it. Elections generally take place twice a year, in November and March. Most positions are one year long, although there are some six-month positions. Along with the Executive, the Convenors and the Ordinary Board, there are also people who represent other Student Bodies, and some Honorary positions, usually elected at the AGM in April. Look out for information during election time about how to be nominated for Board, or ask a Board Member what it’s all about. There’s normally one in the building: whether they’re working hard, watching Neighbours, or having a drink in Jim’s. The President is usually in his office during the day, and there are always two Board Members in the building at night. There’s so much more to being a Board Member than can be said about it in this space, so just ask.

the ordinary board
Gill Turnbull is The Ord. Board Convenor

f you’re thinking of running for Board of Management, then you’ll probably decide to run for an Ordinary Board position first. Don’t be fooled by the name though, the Ord Board are anything but ordinary. They are a group of dedicated QM members keeping this place in working order. Being on the Ord. Board is a good way to introduce yourself to how the QM runs, and there are Ord Board positions that only Freshers can run for. You have the freedom to dabble in anything and everything to do with the QM that you like: from quizzes and club nights, to making law and giving naughty QM members a spank, if that’s your kind of thing. Ord Board meetings are much more fun and relaxed than Board Meetings, giving you the chance to have a good chat about things over a cookie or two with a friendly bunch of like-minded people. The Ord Board can have the loudest voice on the Board, so if there’s something you want done, be it champagne in Jim’s Bar or cheaper cups of tea, joining the Ord Board is the best way to do it. If you don’t want to join the Board, The Ord. Board is a useful point of contact in the QM. Without the workload of some other Board Members, The Ord Board are easier to find and available to listen to your gripes. Whether you’ve got a problem or praise for The QM, you want to run for board, or you’re having weird dreams about the President, we’d love to hear it.


page 26

president jamie mchale

the executive
he role of President can be varied and exciting. It can also be tough and tiring. As the only paid member of The Board of Management it’s my job to be here to ensure that everything happens and is running smoothly. There are many things that a President may find themselves doing: meeting with the University, suppliers and other student bodies; giving speeches; coordinating volunteers, and more. I chair Board Meetings, and along with the Staff and other Executive members create plans for the development of the building and services. As the main representative of the Union I’m there if people need to talk, and answerable if things go wrong. If you need me, I’ll probably be in the Executive Office. Feel free to come in, comment or complain, and chances are I’ll provide you with free tea.

Jamie McHale is The President

Claire Withers is The Honorary Secretary

honorary secretary claire withers


s Honorary Secretary my responsibilities include ensuring that The Union has a license so that you can drink until late, and at 12 hour Cheesy Pop, until even later. If, however, you are not yet old enough to drink, I wouldn’t bother, as you’ll then get to meet me in the less than pleasant circumstances of the Disciplinary Committee where I may not be my usual sunny self. Other than striking fear into the hearts of wayward members, I’m in charge of organising the facilities for clubs and societies, no matter how odd the request. So if you fancy joining a club or society, or even starting your own, and you need storage space, room hire or counselling when your Root Vegetable Fan Club proves less than popular, come and see me in The Exec Office and I’ll do my best to help. Other than that, I deal with correspondence; with life members (people who couldn’t get enough of the place in their four years of university, they just had to commit for life) and generally the membership as a whole. So if you have any comments, complaints, suggestions or woes come and seek me out. If I’m not in the Exec Office, then chances are it’ll be a Friday night and I’ll be dancing like a fanny at Cheesy Pop. I’ll see you there.

honorary assistant secretary ally meek


he job of Honorary Assistant Secretary can at times be one of the most boring The QM has to offer. A large part of my time is dedicated to typing up minutes and producing all of the papers for meetings of The Board of Management. That side of the job is certainly not glamorous, but it is essential to the running of the Union (Well, that’s what I tell myself to get through the day. Especially when I’ve got a three hour board meeting to type up). The other side of the coin is much more satisfying, as it is my job to run The QM’s elections, the first of which you will encounter in November. In this election there are three positions available to members in their first year of matriculation- that means you. But I warn you- I am incorruptible. No matter how many cups of tea you buy me, I will not fix an election in your favour. This should not put you off either running for election or buying me a brew from Qudos Café. If you want to find out how to get involved then ask one of The Freshers’ Helpers, they’ll be happy to tell you what’s what.

Ally Meek is The Asst. Hon. Sec

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ClubstoandofSocieties the Union Your guide some the groups that use T
here are over 20 clubs and societies affiliated to the QM and you can get involved with any one of them. Joining a club or society can prove to be a really valuable experience. You have the opportunity to participate in any kind of event, from singing in shows to playing in gaming tournaments to saving the planet. Becoming involved allows you to meet many like-minded people or try something new. Some of the major clubs and societies affiliated to The QM already have a plan of events for the coming year. You can get more information on their events by visiting their stalls at The Freshers’ Fair, or by going online. Most clubs and societies have links on the main university website at A few of the clubs and societies in which you can get involved include: Amnesty International – fighting injustices and abuse of human rights across the world. Cecilians – all-singing, all-dancing musical society. They have some shows later in the year, including Bugsy Malone in September, and a week long show running in March. GUGS – Glasgow University Gaming Society. They meet twice a week to There are a variety of immediate advantages to being a member of a club or society. These include free entry to club nights, discounted hall hire (so cheap fundraisers in Qudos!), access to 3rd floor facilities including The Committee Rooms, lockers and The Television Room. There is also the facility for in-house catering for events.

play games. It’s that simple. Role-playing games on Tuesdays and card, board and war games on Saturdays. They have plans to go to the Student Nationals later this year. iO – Science Fiction and Fantasy Society. They meet on Wednesdays to play games, watch films and discuss anything and everything sci-fi. LGBT – Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual and Transgender Support Group. They meet on Wednesdays in Committee Room 2. They have plans for a variety of events later in the year, especially for Pride Week. People and Planet – Save the planet. As you can see there are many different societies which you can join. You can join as many as you want and don’t be afraid to approach them. They’re all lovely people. Have fun.

Bargain Books
ou’re on a desert island: What are the three things you can’t do without? Packing to come to university did feel like crash landing in the middle of nowhere. Your Dad’s car was only so big - you couldn’t bring everything. So how many of you brought a book? Books are often the last things on a fresher’s mind. When I first went to visit my sister in halls of residence she proudly displayed one book on her sixfoot tall bookcase and even then it was a dictionary. One year on and she is like any other student with her own miniature library. Prepare to have textbooks stacked under your bed and journals propping open your door. But books don’t come cheap. You pay a lot for a dead tree. So as freshers’ week flies by and you begin to think about exchanging your beer goggles for your study-hard spectacles, where in Glasgow can you raid for a cheap read? Thistle Books is a little Scottish grotto of second hand gems. Take a trek down Otago Street and find this archaic shop

Lorna McKinnon’s guide to buys that don’t break the bank
tucked down a side lane. Drama boffins should don their best Scots accent to tackle some of the vast range of Scottish drama for the taking. Music students will also be tapping their feet after a shopping spree here. Before you tootle your trumpet plough through a vast range of sheet music to keep you humming. Caledonia Books on Great Western Road is a nest egg for anyone wanting to make a mint. Three weeks ago, lucky me because I’m a jammy bugger, found a signed copy of the Martin Amis novel ‘Night Train’ - hardback and only ten quid. Whether this autograph is genuine, or if some kid has just decided to go crazy with Crayola is another question. I’m happy to live in ignorance. Either way, some cracking page-turners huddle onthe shelves of this fine establishment, including many rare first editions. Quick tip: flog them on e-bay and supplement your student loan. Voltaire and Rousseau is a golden oldie in the second hand book market - the oldest in Glasgow in fact. Here is dedication to the literary world, a shop that hasn’t lost its shine with time. Down Otago Lane, you will find a mega range of history books in particular, whether you want to brush up on the Romans or the Renaissance. Oxfam bookshop, situated in the bustle of Byres Road, you probably already know the score with this one. The issue is this: If generous souls like yourselves don’t donate your crumpled has-been books, then the Oxfam bookshop goes belly up. For this reason the stock is completely hit and miss and the quality of this charitable institution is dependent upon you. No pressure. Now let’s not forget our own SRC bookshop, upstairs in the John McIntyre building. Here you have the added bonus of getting yourself some extra beer money by selling your old textbooks. So start bargain hunting. Whether a textbook is crumpled and creased or shiny spanking new, makes zero difference to the quality of your education. After all, you can’t judge a book by its cover.

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Editor & Design Joe Evans Photography, Illustration and Digital Manipulation Rik Adams, Joe Evans, Euan Lindsay, Aidan Warner, Paul McLelland, Johnny Stormonth-Darling, Fiona MacKinlay, Charles Baillie, Alec Nicholson, Contributors and Correctors Sir Muir Russell, Jamie McHale, Scott Stevenson, Euan Lindsay, Matthew ‘Spoonie’ Davies, Kat Borrowdale, Joe Evans, Govan, Seumas Bates, Erin Haig, Judith Riddell, Mhairi Wilson, David Lamb, Craig Hand, Freddy, Lorna McKinnon, Tricia Hagenbuch, Claire Withers, David ‘Evans’ Evans, Drew ‘Bitchass Typo Finder General Extreme’ Robertson, Roz Scoular, Ally Meek, Aileen Cameron, Gill Turnbull, and anyone who wrote stuff with little to no direction. Thanks To Bob for the best idea, Ted for encouragement and his cottage, Judith and Erin just coz, Keren, all the QM Staff, The Timmons Family (they’re definitely not cake-takers), anyone who’s ever written a building guide, the people of Thundergay, Cloudo, Sudoku, Neil Fox, Kev for his story, James Cheyne, Alan McPartland, Gemma Orrock, Robert Rodriguez and Frank Millar, Laura’s Juggling ‘Skills’, Rab’s Da, anyone who had to humour ridiculous plans, Papa John’s and Little Italy, CJ, Josh, Toby, Jeb and Charlie, Wendy Munro and the High, The BOM and Pubs. Claire & Freddie for their inner monologue. Omar for punching through. sega for tea. Printed by Print 2000. Glasgow, with thanks to Brian Sharp This Publication © 2005 Queen Margaret Union. All authors retain the copyright to their own work. Queen Margaret Union, 22 University Gardens, Glasgow G12 8QN 0141 339 9784 The back page! You want the back page? You can’t handle the back page!



radition dictates many things including the fact that this space is traditionally left for the Editor to write at length about how tired they are, how close to the deadline things got, how fantastic a job various people have done and how pleased they are with the result. But you know all that, don’t you? Which leaves me with this space. All I can really say is make as much of Uni as possible and don’t be scared. Playing Scrabble and collecting varieties of tea is as much a part of Uni as attending lectures or drinking Jack and Coke. For a lot of you this will be the first real freedom you’ve ever had, and that’s a great thing. Don’t just gain an encyclopedic knowledge of beers; spend weekends on small islands watching the stars and playing parlour games or spend your life travelling round the country with the frisbee team or take up knitting. Buy a paper (only 20p in The Shop) learn to cook and for crying out loud learn to wash up afterwards. Have fun and make the most of your time. Anyway I’m going to go and sleep now,or at least once Freshers’ Week’s over.

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