Most Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), including herpes, syphilis, gonorrhoea and chlamydia, increase the risk of HIV infection. They cause sores in the private parts. These sores are open doors for HIV to enter the body. Avoid STIs. Abstain from sex, use condoms correctly every time you have sex, being aware of symptoms and get repeated checkups. By Dr Zainab Akol, Ministry of Health
STIs increase the risk of HIV infection
Gifts are complicated
Th nk cri i i t cally before you rece ve or g v i ie
Happy New Year. We hope you had a lot of fun in 2010 and are staying safe. Make 2011 a year of positive change. Live within your means, choose friends carefully, set goals and work to achieve them. Make education your first choice.
Are you a boy who gives gifts because you care and are not expecting sex? Or do you give gifts expecting to have sex as a form of payment? What does it cost you to buy a gift or give that money to her? Girls, are you getting close and personal to that guy just to get gifts and money from him yet you don't love him?
o. 2 Feb Vol. 17 N
11 ruary, 20
A Oleyo,18, Munta Royal College, Luwero, says: "I ended our relationship. I could not balance it with books. I chose to focus on my studies."
Now let us talk about gifts. Getting or receiving a gift is one of the ways we use to express care and love for someone special. Boys give gifts or dish out cash to their girlfriends. Oh yes, some girls also do the same. Though giving and receiving gifts is good, they can get you into serious trouble. Think about it.
Watch out. Don't allow gifts to drive you into early sex and make you suffer.
Kangu Ali and L.
In Straight Talk September, 2010, we asked you if your girl or boyfriend demands for material things from you? A hundred and fifty of you responded. Kiiza A, 19, S4, Buhanika Seed SS, Masindi, got himself in a mess and had to miss
i'm a free irl now g
ed cky Alesi receiv Last month, Ja u thanking her for 40 calls from yosonal story. sharing her per admire AID: "I honestly ONE OF YOU S ken the next step to share you for having tathe whole world. Many your status with to tell their status to their couples still fear partners." ing with HIV. She is a young lady liv You can get HIV Jacky ceived. says: "Don't be dehave sex." Catch Jacky on the first time you een 7am and 6pm. An 0702597384 betw Read more on Page 3. SMS can also do.
school meals for a whole term because of giving gifts to keep his girlfriend. "My girlfriend could expect money and lunch from me everyday. One time, I was given Shs 15,000 to pay for lunch at school. I gave it to her. I did not want her to love other boys. I suffered the whole term. But later we separated because of money."
We visited you during holidays. You have always written to us. You win a football and a netball
Our star school is
Love is not providing for others and forget yourself. When you love yourself, you also love others.
“Love means understanding, respecting, accepting and trusting each other. Be honest and have self-esteem. Say no to unpleasant demands like sex or material things," Stella Magomu, Centre for Transforming Generations.
2 Straight Talk, February 2011
We all feel good and special when we receive a gift. We show love with gifts but bad gifts can get us into trouble. "Your boy or girlfriend may demand for money, clothes and birthday presents. If you don't have money, you can steal to get what they want. A certain boy used to steal for his girlfriend money from their shop. He was taken to school and beaten before other students." C Acio, 17, S1, Royal Academy, Lira "I told my girlfriend that forcing me to give you money will make me steal. I will be imprisoned and students will laugh at you that you are a thief ’s girlfriend." S Wandera, Kubo Straight Talk Club, Busia
“My girlfriend loves money more than me yet I love her. I really don't know what to do.” R Ssegawa, Bwanga SS, Rukungiri
When girls de-tooth
Not all girls de-dooth Go girls
Some of them do not trick their guys to give them money or gifts. “I can't use excuses like it is late, I can’t walk home, I’m broke to get money from my guy. This is wrong.” F Uwera, S5, Kabale Trinity College V Nalubidde V 14, S1, Bright , Way SS, Kampala, says: “We treat each other with respect. We don't beg from each other.” "I love for a reason and the reason is love not sex or material things.” Z Nesia, Metu SS, Moyo. Students of Iganga Parents say: "Sex is not getting finished now. Delay sex and work hard to excel." If someone gives you a gift or money, ask yourself the following questions before you take it. Why is the person giving me money or gifts? What does he/ she expect in return? Is the money or gifts more important than my life? What are the outcomes of accepting them? Can I show the gifts to my parents? If you realise someone wants to use gifts or money to trap you into sex, take off for your dear life. Have selfcontrol.
marriage, then you wait. If it is for sex, then you put an end to it. If you can't abstain, let it be good sex. Good sex does not hurt your studies, cause diseases and is not forced. Setting limits is not a hard task. Some straight talkers are doing it. “We agreed to remain virgins till marriage.” P Rata, 16, Yumbe SS M Kule M,19, S6, Semuliki HS, Bundibugyo, says: "I allow the brain to control my sexual desires not the desires to control my brain. When I’m going to meet my girlfriend, I always tell a friend to accompany me so that I’m not tempted to touch. Sticking to my decision of saying NO to sex makes me a cool boy.” Self-control is the ability to control one’s emotions, behaviour and desire to obtain a reward later. It is also called self regulation. You can control your sexual feelings like Kule.
“I fear falling in love because of money. I have seen boys borrow money to give their girl friends and fail to pay back. They quarrel and become enemies." C Opolot, Bukooli College, Bugiri “Guys give a lot of money to their girlfriends for fear of being dropped. A certain boy used his school fees. He lied to his parents that it was stolen
Hate each other
from the dormitory.” M Ajok,17, S3,Y.Y Okot Memorial SS, Kitgum "A certain boy came home and asked me to have sex with him. I refused. One day, we met somewhere. He gave me money. This made me think he loved me. I accepted to have sex with him. I felt a lot of pain." T Nakaseeta, S3, Gayaza Road SS, Wakiso
Set limits, make your stand clear
At the beginning of your relationship, talk to your girlfriend or guy about what you expect from each other. Make your stand known. If it is for
MAKE YOUR PARTNER FEEL SPECIAL
Relationships are based on honesty, respect and love. Love is more than sex. Relationships should be defined by friendship. C Ocan, 19, S6, Green Light College, Kitgum, says: “I have a girlfriend. I don’t give her money or demand for sex. Sometimes, I give her natural flowers as a sign of love. They are free. I get them from school. I don’t expect her to pay back.” Make your babe or dude feel special without necessarily splashing cash or material things. • Just call and say, "I love you.” This will “kill” her softly. • If you don’t have a phone, write a letter and tell her how you feel about her. A poem might even be more exciting. • Find time for each other. Meet in an open place to avoid temptations. • Go out together. You do not need to spend money. You can just go jogging together. • Call her home when your parents are around and tell them it’s your day in the kitchen and make a good meal for the family. • Read a book and watch a movie together. • Go to a weekly market together. • Make jokes. • Help her to carry home a jerry can of water. Denis Pato, Peer Educator, STF Make sure you do not harm yourselves • Respect each other. • Don’t pretend to be what you are not. • Some of you said in the Lugbara, Kupsabiny, and Runyoro/ Rutoro Straight Talk radio shows that you use sweet words like; You're charming and blazing, whenever I miss you, stars fall from the sky, my life is incomplete without you, you are the light of my life to melt the hearts of your lovers Be honest. Mean what you say. Don't use these nice words for the sake of it.
I’m keeping sex out of my love
Don't let anyone give you excuses like; love without sex is like tea without sugar. You can have a relationship without sex just like these readers. M Juliet, S4, Dabani Girls, Busia, says: “I avoid lonely places, alcohol and pornographic materials. If my partner introduces sex talk, I tell him how nice it is to keep our promise of abstaining.” R Sabiri, S6, ST Aloysius College, Zombo, says: “We keep ourselves busy with sports. I enjoy watching my sweetheart running.” “I speak out. This helps me keep my virginity.” D Nambozo, 15, S3, Bududa SS,Mbale
- Guy • Dude be - Girl • Chic/Ba
Straight Talk, February 2011
You have a right to inform yourself about condoms
What is the use of staying in a relationship that exposes you to HIV/STDs, unwanted pregancies or death? May be it is time to end that relationship if your guy or girlfriend... "Is interested in sex more than anything.” M Ajapo, 19, Nakanyonyi Girls SS, Jinja “Orders and never listens or respects your decisions to delay sex.” R Nalwoga, Kasangombe SS, Nakaseke "Asks for sex immediately at the beginning of the relationship. When you accept, he or she tells everyone how they had sex with you. A boy who rushes to ask for sex does not love you." O Kabagenyi, 19, Kamurasi PTC, Masindi “Your chic says you are the only fish in the pond but the moment you go away, she gets other lovers.” D Byansi, Kololo SS, Kampala. “Just wants to taste sex and go.” J Odongo, 20, S3, Acaba SSS, Oyam "Threatens to leave you if you refuse to have sex with them.” R Byaruhanga, Kabale Trinity College "Is secretive. He or she does not want you to know about his/her family.” B Nantongo, 15, S3, St Mary’s SS, Luwero When used correctly every time you have sex, condoms can prevent infections transmitted through sex like HIV/ STDs. They also prevent unwanted pregnacies. If you are living with HIV condoms will prevent , you from infecting others and re-infecting yourself. Use one condom for each round of sex. If you use more than one condom they will all go off and expose you to unwanted pregnancy and STDsfree condoms from health centres near you. They are free in government hospitals. You can also get them from Naguru Teenage centre and Youth Centres in Gulu, Kitgum, Adjumani and Amuru
Know your body
This week, I talked to a girl whose life has been changed by an unexpected pregnancy. I also talked e) to your cousin Reste (not real nam 16. She wants to who is a mother at continue with school but her uncle lost interest in paying her school as fees. Reste will need to work twice baby and to find hard to support her money to go back to school. So my sweet little daughter, the choices that will form your future are with you. are Watch where you are and who you ships with. Keep your relation with guys in open places. Not all guys have the right intentions for you. It is natural to be attracted to guys but remember that sex is not for now. I compare those two girls to Sandra who took her parents' advice serious. She studied finished school to and got married. We are committed be the best you can supporting you to be. We encourage you to develop safe r friendships with boys and girls at you rch and through life. God school, chu for brings different people in your life e your future a purpose. May God guid as it unfolds day by day. By Pastor Andrew Mwenge, Kampala Baptist Church
Isaac,18, Kasubi SS, Kampala
“My penis is huge, is there any herbal medicine which can make it small?” Buule
The diary of a young positive
Jacky says: Thank
you all who called especially my OGs and OBs who were wondering how I got the strength to share my status. I was tired of living in darkness. I wanted to show you that telling someone your status is good. When you do that, you are set free. People will always be there for you, you freely interact with them and they accept you. Self-stigma does not help. You live like a prisoner and you may fail to get treatment because you fear people to see you at the clinic or know that you are on treatment. I'm a free person now. I can take my medicine anywhere without fear. So dear friends, if you have HIV, open up. Sharing my story with you is saving someone’s life. You too can do the same. Test together with your girl or boyfriend and know your status. Dear Jacky, did you go for antenatal when you got pregnant? They say women who get help from the hospital can give birth to babies who don't have HIV. M Amulen,18, S4, Bethany Girls SS, Soroti child. My CD4 count was 400. My doctor advised me to start taking ARVs when I was six months pregnant. They could check me to see if my baby was growing well or if I had any other problem like pressure. They also encouraged me to give birth from the hospital which I did. This helped me produce a baby who is free of HIV. After birth, I was advised to give my baby nevirapine syrup for two weeks. I did not breastfeed him to reduce chances of infection. I advise mothers living with HIV to attend antenatal and give birth from hospital.
Why do you think it is big? It seems you are comparing yourself to someone else. That is wrong. During adolescence, the size of your penis starts to grow like any other part of your body. Every person differs in penis size, shape and length. Some are fat and short. Others are long and thin. That is normal and natural. Do not use herbs to treat your fears. Visit a doctor to check you properly. If you have an infection, you will be treated. It is good to be concerned about your penis. Always take care of it to keep it healthy.
By Dr Paul Semugoma, International Hospital , Kampala
Question to Jacky:
ANS: Yes my dear. I attended atenatal care at Nsambya Hospital for my third
DO YOU HAVE QUESTIONS FOR JACKY? Send them to
PO BOX 22366, KAMPALA
ever Have you a hospital walked into asked for d or shop an ? Tell us a condom W rite to your story. 366 PO BOX, 22 Kampala
4 Straight Talk, February 2011
O. Bo x 22 36 22 P.P.O. Bo x A L 36 6 A A M P K KA M P A L A 6
Is it true that when you have sex in water sperms can enter into you and you become pregnant? N.I.S, Kasubi SS, Kampala Yes, it is possible. A girl can get pregnant even if she has sex while in water, swimming, bathing, or washes her vagina after sex. Sperms swim towards the cervix no matter what style of sex. Delay sex to avoid worries My father wants me to become a priest in future but my mother always advises me to marry. What do I do. I’m unsettled. Afrinani Santino, Wandi Progressive SS, Arua It is common for parents to have different dreams for their children. But you need to listen to your heart. What are your desires? What do you wish to be in future? Make a decision and have a conversation with your parents about it.
Eyoga Betty, Senior Nursing Officer, Lira Regional Referral Hospital, Dr Henry Kakande, Management Sciences for Health, Pastor Andrew Mwenge, Kampala Baptist Church, Stella Magomu, Centre for Transforming Generations.
Sex in Water
Torn Between Parents
People say pastors can pray for them and get cured of HIV. How do prayers enter someone’s blood and remove the virus. I'm confused? S Kintu, World Ahead SS, Matuga, Wakiso. Dear Kintu, prayers give hope but should not replace medicine. There is still no cure for HIV. But there are special medicines called ARVs which help someone with HIV to live healtheir and longer. People living with HIV should pray and continue taking their medicine as advised by the doctor. They should also test for TB, sleep under a treated mosquito net, drink clean boiled water, and do activities that can make them happy like prayers and talking with friends. I produce smelly semen, is my reproductive system OK? EN Bwanga SS, Rukungiri Semen has a particular smell just like any other body secretion. If your semen has unusual smell, see a doctor for help. Always remember to wash your penis properly. I live with my uncle who is married with children. His wife
HIV and Prayers
wants to have sex with me. She says if I reject her, she will cry to uncle that I raped her. What can I do? M Niwagaba, Ruhisco Kabale Share it with an adult like a teacher or religious leader you trust to talk to your uncle. Remember a problem shared with the right person is a problem solved There is a boy who is ever on my mind. When I see him, I feel like being with him. He is making me run mad. He has never talked to me. B Nekesa, Ngora HS You must be talking about love feelings. These are normal and natural but do not mean you are ready to start having sex. Learn to control them by looking at that boy as a brother or a friend. Do constructive work, like revising your books, engaging in sports and school clubs.
Students of Namungoona SS, Wakiso, say: Good things are not rushed for. A void early sex and stay healthy Meet the team that responds to your letters. Thank you for writing to us. We received 24,000 letters in 2010. If your school is not receiving Straight Talk, check at the Post office or call us on 0775517458. Beep us and we will call you back. If you want our radio team to visit you, SMS Hassan on 0790817173.
In Straight Talk September, 2010, MV 16, Mbale, said: "At home, , our landlord wants me to love him. He brings me sweets which I always refuse. At school, the gateman also requests me for love. The same thing happens with cooks. Even my teacher wants me. I’m so weak in his subject. What can I do?” MV, thank you for sharing your problem. Over 100 Straight Talkers advised you. About 90% said you need to talk to someone.
A D V IC E 2 M V
precious than gifts. If these men dont respect your NO, report them to your parents, head teacher or an elder you trust.” F Niwagaba, S5, Kabale Trinity College, says: “Stick to your NO. Report the landlord to a responsible adult. At school, seek help from a senior woman teacher.” D Nansubuga, S2, Kasangombe SS, Nakaseke, says: “Ignore all of them. Read hard, discuss with your friends. You will perform better in all subjects.” F Alema, S6, Wandi Progressive SS, Arua, says: “Say no to their demands. The right choice is yet to come.” All Published letters Straight Talk
rner S c ie n c e C ohool have sc
Many girls in my candida. Do boys also suffer from candida? E Adong, 14, S1, Hill View
person has candida,the fungus Candida is a fungal infection. Every the mouth, urethra, and genital that causes candidiasis. It is found in immune system, diabetes, over use of areas. Conditions like weak body silky nylon panties for a long time, antibiotics, wearing tight clothing like n. Tight clothes and make candida active causing infectio genital area, nylon limit the fresh air entering the mon among making you sweat. Candida is com girls may girls and women than in boys. Some and after menstruation. In get candida before te thick girls, candida causes itching and a whi s get sticky discharge in the genital area. Boy is. They discharge under the foreskin of the pen on the penis. may also get redness By Dr Paul Semugoma, IHK
Nambozo C, Christian HS, Sironko, says: “These men want to use and dump you. Having many partners will expose you to HIV/STDs and un-wanted pregnancy.” J Pamela, S6, Kitante Hill School, Kampala, says: “Your life is more
Readers, please advise JB
“An S1 girl is hunting me down that I must have sex with her or else be deformed and face death by her visit to a witch doctor. What can I do?” JB S4, Ruhisco,Kabale. Advise JB according to what you think, know, or have heard about witchcraft in your community.
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STRAIGHT TALK FOUNDATION Plot 4 Acacia Avenue, Kololo, P O. Box 22366, Tel: 0312-262030/1 Kampala (U), .