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. Thinking fast she replied "food on the table". Next day he comes home and asks his mother what does "son of a bitch" mean. Again, thinking fast again she says "It's a priest". Next day he comes home a asks what does "fuckin'" mean. She says it means "getting dressed". That same night a priest was coming over for dinner. Johnny is just finished setting the table when he hears the doorbell ring. He yells "got it". He opens the door and says "Hey son of a bitch, shits on the table and mom and dad are upstairs fuckin'".
Little Johnny once asked his teacher "Do hearts have legs?." The teacher answered "Why do you ask that?" Johnny replied "Yesterday, I heard my dad say sweetheart open your legs."
Little Johnny sees his mother walk out of the shower and sees her vagina. He asks her what it is and she embarassed replies, "Oh, that's mommy's black sponge." A few days later, Johnny spills a glass of milk on the floor and says, "Mommy, I need your black sponge to mop up the milk!" She replies, "I lost it, honey." A couple of days later, he comes running up to her and says, "Mommy, I found your black sponge!" Mystified, she says, "Where, honey?" Little Johnny says, "It's over at Mrs. Johnson's house, and Daddy's washing his face in it!"
Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions. A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"
Prussy." "Well then. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate. A little while later." A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is. what are you doing?" Then. that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation."Miss Jones. "Mrs. and he had his hand down his pants." The entire class says. you'd be a ten!!!" Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher." "That's right!" she coaxed. Prussy. "Now. then says. Johnny came back to classroom and sat back down. but if you had bigger tits. All of the sudden.One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Johnny was. Johnny thinks hard and the says to the teacher. he needed to go to the bathroom. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly. Johnny said. She says. Johnny. said the teacher. "Johnny. "Hello Mrs. The Teacher asked. He yelled out. I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied. and he had his dick haging out of his pants. what's that doing hanging out of your pants?!" Then Johnny said. The teacher said. "My mommy said if I can stick it out until noon. Then the teacher came to the back of the room again." Little Johnny thinks for a bit. Crunt?" . "Hello class. "You're an eight. Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says. "Johnny. you need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home". she'll come and pick me up. and I will allow you to go. I'm Mrs." Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. "I remember it has an "r" after the first letter. "It hurts down there.
took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again. I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted. "Why are you rubbing that cream on you face. April didn't even stir from her slumber. but also admitted doing it. "Who is our Lord and Saviour. as his mother was putting cold cream on her face. how much money would you have?" "One dollar." But." said the teacher shaking her head. "Because George was the one holding the axe? "If you had a dollar." answered little Johnny "You don't know your basic math. Johnny jabbed her with the pin. Once again. little Johnny. "Very good" and April fell back asleep. Usually she slept through the class." Little Johnny watched. "and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents." quizzed the teacher. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said. a boy seated in the chair behind her. "very good. Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. disappointed. April. Little Johnny's teacher asks. "Tell me. A while later the teacher asked April. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said. This time April jumped up and shouted. "You don't know my daddy. "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree.Little April was not the best student in Sunday school." and April fell back to sleep. fascinated. Do any of you know why his father didn't punish him?" Little Johnny replies. mommy?" he . "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME. Little Johnny shook his head too. who created the universe?" When April didn't stir.
"Get yourself a new boyfriend." Little Johnny asked his father." Then asked the class. "I think so. Three days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.asked. "How should I correct this sentence?" Little Johnny raised his had and replied.." she said. "I had Johnny with me for the entire summer and I never called you once when he misbehaved. can you write in the dark?" His father said. "Dead!" Yelled Little Johnny. The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. A few minutes later. he asked. "And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest. she began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter mommy?" asked Little Johnny. "Dad. At the end of his talk." said his mother. "Giving up?" A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven. "To stay pretty for daddy. "Hold on. "Where do you want to go?" "Heaven! Heaven!" Yelled Little Lisa." Little Johnny had just returned from his summer break and gone back to school. What do you want me to write?" .
"Oh. After listening he replies: "I can't see why you are making such a big issue out of this. The old man looked up and replied. The principal replies." An old man on crowded bus has trouble finding a seat.." says his mom.Little Johnny replied. "I dunno. shaking the passengers from left to right. fell to the floor. if Little Johnny said that he did not do it." The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class. then I. unable to support himself properly with his cane. sitting nearby. taken aback by Johnny's lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident. "Who broke down the walls of Jericho?" Little Johnny replies. I would have a place to sit on this stupid bus. The bus careened down the avenue. just sign this report card for me." . but it wasn't me!" The supervisor. just get three quotes and fix the damned wall!" Little Johnny comes running into the house and asks." Even more appalled. and the old man. you wouldn't fall like that. can little girls have babies?" "No. "If your daddy had done the same. looked down at him and said. Little Johnny. "I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them. the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story. "Mommy... as principal is satisfied that it is the truth. "of course not.. "If you put a little rubber cap on the end of your cane.
"It's okay. Johnny. "I have a pain in my side! I think I'm going to have a wife!" Little Johnny returned from school and saying he got an 'F' in Math. said his dad. "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the f*@#%! difference?" asked his dad. including human beings. The salesman says. Later that week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were in pain. "What the hell do you think?" . and asked. what's the matter sweetie? Little Johnny replied. is your mommy home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says. "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'" "But that's right!". upset at the injustice. a beer in one hand and a lit cigar in the other.Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends. we can play that game again!" A Sunday School teacher was telling the children that God created everything. "Little boy. "Why?" asked his father. Little Johnny became fascinated when the teacher told him how Eve was made out of one of Adam's ribs. Little Johnny replied "That's exactly what I said!" A door-to-door salesman comes-a-knocking and 10-year-old Little Johnny answers.