When one does not know what it is, then it is something; but when one knows what it is, then it is nothing

? A riddle What belongs to you, but others use it more than you do? Your name A 30 year old man married a 25 year old woman. She died at age 50 and her husband was so devastated that he cried for years. Ten years after he stopped crying, he died. If he had lived to be 80, how many years was he a widower? He was a widower for 25 years. A man's body is found 250 feet below sea level, yet the cause of his death is not drowning. How and where did this man die? The man died of heat exhaustion in Death Valley. Forward I'm heavy, but backwards I'm not. What am I?? A ton. I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation, and I surround every place. What am I? The letter e. End, timE, spacE, Every place Think of words ending in -GRY. Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is? It states, "There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word?" The third word of that phrase is of course "language." Don't get angry at me, I didn't make it up :) The person who makes it, sells it. The person who buys it never uses it and the person who uses it doesn't know they are. What is it? A coffin. What English word has three consecutive double letters? Bookkeeper. An alternate, tricky, answer could be Woollen (where W is a "double u") What's black when you get it, red when you use it, and white when you're all through with it? Charcoal I know a word of letters three. Add two, and fewer there will be? Few Each morning I appear To lie at your feet, All day I will follow No matter how fast you run, Yet I nearly perish In the midday sun. – shadow My life can be measured in hours, I serve by being devoured. Thin, I am quick Fat, I am slow Wind is my foe. – candle You heard me before, Yet you hear me again, Then I die, 'Till you call me again. – an echo

Two in a corner, 1 in a room, 0 in a house, but 1 in a shelter. What am I? – the letter R I'm full of holes, yet I'm full of water. What am I? – a sponge It's red, blue, purple and green, no one can reach it, not even the queen. What is it? – a rainbow What question can you never honestly answer yes to? Are you asleep? (or dead) What has a neck and no head, two arms but no hands? – a shirt (or sweater, jacket etc) The more you take, the more you leave behind. – footsteps A woman shoots her husband, then holds him under water for five minutes. Finally, she hangs him. Five minutes later they enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be? – She took a photo of him and developed it in the dark room. Remove six letters from this sequence to reveal a familiar English word. BSAINXLEATNTEARS (Removed SIX LETTERS) If you drop me I'm sure to crack but give me a smile and I'll always smile back. – a mirror – BANANA

Can you spell eighty in two letters? A-T. Did you hear the story about the skunk? Never mind, it stinks. How can you double your money? Look at it in a mirror. How can you make seven even? Take away the letter S. How can you name the capital of every U.S. state in two seconds? Washington, D.C. How do you file a nail? Under the letter N. How do you make a lemon drop? Hold it and then let go. How does a baby ghost cry? "Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!" How does a broom act? With sweeping gestures. How does a fireplace feel? Grate! (Great!) On what nuts can pictures hang?

Walnuts. What are southern fathers called? Southpaws. What birds are always unhappy? Bluebirds. What can you hold without touching it? A conversation. What cat lives in the ocean? An octopus. What did Napoleon become after his 39th year? 40 years old. What did one broom say to the other broom? "Have you heard the latest dirt?" What did Tennessee? He saw what Arkansas. What did the big watch hand say to the small hand? "Got a minute?" What did the chicks say to the miser? "Cheap! Cheap!" What did the electric plug say to the wall? "Socket to me!" What did the girl watch say to the boy watch? "Keep your hands to yourself" What do you call a greasy chicken? A slick chick. What do you draw without a pencil or paper? A window shade. What do you get if you cross a cat with a laughing hyena? A giggle puss. What do you get if you feed a lemon to your cat? A sourpuss. What fish is a bargain? A sailfish (sale fish). What fly has laryngitis? A horsefly (hoarse fly). What food are you able to can? Cannibal (can able) food. What food is good for the brain? Noodle soup. What gets around everywhere? Belts.

What gives milk and has one horn? A milk truck. What goes around in circles and makes kids happy? A merry-go-round. What has fifty heads and fifty tails? Fifty pennies. What have eyes but can't see? Needles, storms and potatoes. What horses keep late hours? Nightmares. What insect can be spelled with just one letter? Bee. What is a bee with a low buzz? A mumble bee. What is a broken down hot rod? A shot rod. What is a ghost's favourite rock? Tombstone. What is a good way to get fat? Fry up some bacon. What is a parrot? A wordy birdy. What is a sleeping bag? A knapsack (nap sack). What is a sleeping bull? A bull dozer. What is a vampire's favourite soup? Alpha-bat (alphabet) soup. What is a very hard subject? The study of rocks. What is a wet cat? A drizzle puss. What is another name for a telephone booth? A chatterbox. What is bought by the yard and worn by the foot? A carpet. What is Dracula's favourite sport? Bat-minton (badminton). What is ice? Skid stuff. What is the difference between a tickle and a wise guy?

One is fun, the other thinks he's fun. What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat. What is the most valuable fish? Goldfish. What is the opposite of restaurant? Workerant. What is the science of shopping? Biology (buy-ology). What kind of animal tells little white lies? An amphibian. What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple. What kind of bird is like a letter? A jaybird. What kind of cattle laugh? Laughingstock. What kind of key opens a casket? A skeleton key: What kind of lock is on a hippie's door? A padlock. What kind of meat doesn't stand up? Lean meat. What kind of money do monsters use? Weirdo (weird dough). What kind of paper can you tear? Terrible (tearable) paper. What kind of water can't freeze? Hot water. What knights rode camels? The Arabian Nights (knights). What letter is like a vegetable? The letter P. What pet is always found on the floor? A carpet. What question must always be answered, "Yes"? "What does Y-E-S spell?" What sea creature can add? An octoplus. What state has a friendly greeting for everyone? Ohio.

What stays hot in the refrigerator? Mustard. What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen? Time to get it fixed. What wears shoes but has no feet? The sidewalk. What would you call a beautiful cat? A glamour puss. When is a chair like a fabric? When it is sat in (satin). When is a man like a dog? When he is a boxer. When is the moon heaviest? When it is full. Where do ants go when they want to eat? To a restaur-ant.

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