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Facilitative Leadership

and
Self-Management

BY
Mark Norman
Schulich Executive Education Center
York University

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Outline of Agenda

• Today
– Introduction • Tomorrow
– Role of leadership – Self-Managed
– Core values of leadership Communication
– Building trust – CONTROL and
DIALOGUE Talk
– Self-management
– Dealing with
Challenges

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Organizations
Skills
Core
Competencies

Staff Systems
Select-Recruit Work/Administration
Train-Develop Processes
Recognize-Reward

Shared
Purpose and
Values

Structure Strategy
Roles For Organization
Responsibilities And For Change
Relationships
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What is organizational culture?

• What people do in order to fit in…

• 60% driven by behaviors of my supervisor

The organization becomes what we say about it

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Twelve Questions that Measure
Organizational Health

1.Do I know what is expected of me at work?

2.Do I have the materials and equipment I need to do my


work right?
3.At work, do I have the opportunity to do what I do best
every day?
4.In the last seven days, have I received recognition or
praise for doing good work?
5.Does my supervisor, or someone at work, seem to care
about me as a person?
6.Is there someone at work who encourages my
development?
105,680 individual employee responses to surveys
and 2,528 business units (branches, factories, hospitals)
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Twelve Questions that Measure
Organizational Health

7. At work, do my opinions seem to count?


8. Does the mission/purpose of my company make me feel
my job is important?
9. Are my co-workers committed to doing quality work?
10. Do I have a best friend at work?
11. In the last six months, has someone at work talked to me
about my progress?
12. This last year, have I had opportunities at work to learn
and grow?
These twelve questions are the simplest and most accurate way to
measure the strength of a workplace.
First, Break All the Rules
M. Buckingham, C. Cuffman, 1999.

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Levels of employee commitment

Level of Collaboration / Rationalization Authoritarian


commitment Consultation

Engaged and 78% 33% 2%


committed

Accepting 18% 33% 47%

Resisting 4% 34% 51%

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Leadership and Management
• Leadership is largely about: • Management is largely about:
– Striving to do the right things – Striving to do things right
– Not being happy unless things – Not being happy unless things are
are changing for the better running smoothly
– Driving change – Recovering from change
– Promoting effectiveness – Promoting efficiency
– Having questions – Having answers
– Relationships – “To do” lists
– Doing extraordinary things well – Doing ordinary things well
– Alignment – Organizing, staffing
– Pioneering direction – Planning, budgeting
– The future – The present
– Venturing out – Operating within a given area
– Seeing opportunities – Solving problems
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Leader/Manager:
General Functions

• Create an agenda
• Develop human network to achieve agenda
• Execute
• Produce outcomes

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LEADERSHIP AND
MANAGEMENT

• Set Direction • Plan And Budget


• Create Vision Of Future • Establish Detailed Steps/Timetable For
• Develop Strategies For Change Needed Results
• Allocate Resources to Enact Plan

• Secure Alignment • Organize And Staff


• Constantly Communicate Direction In • Establish Structure to Accomplish Plan
Word/Deed • Staff That Structure
• Win Cooperation • Delegate Responsibility/Authority
• Influence Team And Coalition Building • Provide Policies and Procedures
Among Those Who Understand And • Create Methods to Monitor
Accept Vision/strategies

• Support people • Control And Problem Solve


• Motivate and Inspire • Monitor Results
• Satisfy Basic Human Needs • Identify Deviations
• Energize Them To Overcome Barriers To • Problem Solve to Reduce/Remove Deviations
Change
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LEADERSHIP AND
MANAGEMENT

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LEADERSHIP OUTCOMES MANAGEMENT
OUTCOMES
• Produce change -often
dramatic • Produce predictability
and order
• Potential to produce
useful new products; • Potential to produce
ways of doing key results for
business, etc. stakeholders -
reliability, quality, on-
budget

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“Do With” Facilitative Leadership:

• Facilitative Leaders Serve by:


– Using self-managed communication
– Helping Teams identify and solve problems
– Giving teams authority and responsibility
– Linking the team
– Being the team's champion

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Facilitative Leaders

• Involve people, for their commitment.


• Build initiators who generate ideas.
• Build collaborative, interdependent, supportive
teams.
• Develop strength between themselves and
their staff, their peers, and their customers

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Changing Managerial Power

• Power: ability to act


• Reduced position power
– Utility - “do for”
– Coercion - “do to”
• Increased personal power
– Character - “do with”

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Facilitative Leaders: Two Levels Of
Values

• Values of purpose (character


goals):
• Respect, integrity, honesty, compassion

• Values of practice
• What you do everyday to achieve purpose
• Three core values of practice

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CORE VALUES OF FACILITATIVE
LEADERS

• ACCURATE
• VALID
• RELEVANT
INFORMATION • “VALIDATABLE”
• UNDERSTANDABLE

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CORE VALUES OF FACILITATIVE
LEADERS

• FREE AND • PEOPLE DEFINE OWN


INFORMED OBJECTIVES/WAYS TO
CHOICE ACHIEVE
• MAKE CHOICES BASED
ON VALID INFO NOT
FORCE OR
MANIPULATION

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CORE VALUES OF FACILITATIVE
LEADERS

• INTERNAL • PEOPLE FEEL


PERSONALLY
COMMITMENT
RESPONSIBLE
• CHOICES
INHERENTLY
COMPELLING,
SATISFYING

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The Flowchart For Problem Resolution You Want To
Avoid
NO
YES
Is It Working?

Don’t Fool With It!


YES Did You Fool
With It?

YOU IDIOT!
NO

Anyone Else YES YES Will it Blow Up


You’re SCREWED!
Know? In Your Hands?

NO NO
NO Can You Blame
Hide It Someone Else?
Look The Other Way

Yes
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NO PROBLEM!
Facilitative Leadership And The
Core Values

They support a climate of


trust and cooperation

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Climate of Trust

High

Affection Trust
Benevolence

Distrust (Respect)

Low High
Competence 22
Climate For Trust And Cooperation

“DEFEND AGAINST” “WORK WITH”


WHEN YOU SPEAK FROM A PLACE OF
Judgment Description
Of The Person Of The Problem
Superiority Equality
Cool Empathy
Neutrality
Close Open
Mindedness Mindedness
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Self-management And Emotional
Intelligence

• Self-awareness
– Candor, honesty admired in leaders

• Empathy (other awareness)


– Recognizing emotions in others. Leaders consider others’ feelings in
decisions; acknowledge own feelings in the face of common threat; great
coaches, mentors.

• Motivating oneself
– Love of challenges, pride in work. Model this for others as leaders

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Self-management And Emotional
Intelligence

• Self-management
– Leaders who can control their emotions and impulses create trust,
fairness. They can suspend judgment, listen.

• Self-management:
begins in awareness - ends in choice.

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Barriers To
Self-management
• Limiting beliefs
• Distorted thinking
• Reflexive judgement
• My beliefs are the truth
• The truth is obvious
• My beliefs are based on real data
• The data I select is the important data

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The Ladder of Inference
I take actions based on my
beliefs THE REFLEXIVE LOOP
I adapt my beliefs about
the world (OUR BELIEFS
AFFECT WHAT
I draw conclusions
DATA WE SELECT
I make assumptions based NEXT TIME)
on the meanings I added
I add meanings (cultural and
personal)
I select “data” from what I
observe
Observable “data” and experiences (as a
videotape recorder might capture it)
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Using The Ladder To Lead

• Become more aware of


• Typical questions:
your thinking • What is the observable data
• Make your thinking and behind that statement?
reasoning more visible to • Does everyone agree on
what the data is?
others • Can you run me through your
• Inquire into others' reasoning?
thinking and reasoning • How did we get from the
data to these assumptions?
• When you said...did you
mean...?

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Advocacy

Make your thinking process visible


State your assumptions and “Here’s what I think and here’s how I
describe the data that led to them got there…”

Explain your assumptions “I assumed that…”


Make your reasoning explicit “I came to this conclusion
because…”
Give examples of what you propose

Picture the other people’s “To get a clear picture of what I’m
perspective on what you are talking about, imagine that you’re
saying the customer who will be
affected…”
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Advocacy

Publicly test your conclusions and assumptions

Encourage others to explore “What do you think about what I


your model, your just said? Do you see any
assumptions and your data flaws in my reasoning? Or
What can I add?”
Refrain from defensiveness
when your ideas are
questioned
Reveal where you are less clear “Here’s one aspect that you
in your thinking might help me think
through…”
Listen, stay open and “Do you see it differently”
encourage others to provide
different views
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Inquiry
Ask others to make their thinking process visible
Find out what data they are “What leads you to conclude that…”
operating from “What causes you to say that…”
Use unaggressive language Instead of: “What do you mean?” or
“What’s your proof?” say “Can
you help me understand your
thinking here?
Make your reasoning explicit “I came to this conclusion
because…”
Draw out their reasoning “What is the significance of that?”
“How does this relate to your other
concerns?”
Explain your reason for “I’m asking about your assumptions
inquiring because…”
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Inquiry

Compare your assumptions to theirs

Test what they say by asking “How would your proposal


for broader contexts affect…”
“Is this similar to…”
Check your understanding of “Am I correct that you’re
what they have said saying…”

Listen for new understanding


that may emerge

Watch for a balance of advocacy and inquiry 35


Left Hand Column
Left-hand column Right hand column
What Doris is thinking and feeling but not saying What Doris and Bill are saying
We’re two months late and I didn’t think he knew. Bill: Doris, I’d like to come down there next
I was hoping we could catch up. week. We’re a few weeks behind and I
think we might all benefit from a meeting
at your office.
I need to make it clear that I’m willing to take Doris: I’ve been very concerned about these
responsibility for this, but I don’t want to deadlines. As you know, we’ve had some
volunteer for more work tough luck here, and we’re working
around the clock. But, of course, we’ll
squeeze in a meeting at your
convenience.
He never offers this help in the planning stages, Bill: Well it’s occurred to me that we could
when I could really use it. It’s too late now to use better coordination between us.
bring it up. There are probably some ways I could
help.
The changes he keeps making are the real Doris: Well, I’m happy to talk through any
reason we’re late. He must have another changes you have in mind.
one.
Bill: I don’t have anything specific in mind.
It’s a shame I can’t tell him that he’s the cause of Doris: I’d like to have a prototype finished to
the delays. If I can hold him off two more show you before you come down. What if
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weeks, I think we’ll be ready. we set up something for the twenty
seventh?
The Ladder you climbed

Your situation

What action did you take?


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What beliefs did you adopt?
5
What conclusions did you draw?
4
What assumptions did you make?
3
What meanings did you add?
2
What observable data did you
select? 1 37
Non-Verbal Behaviour
Only a small percentage of the
impression you make on other
people stems from purely verbal
communication. Non-verbals make
much greater impact.

Body language tells you more about


what people feel and really mean
than any words in any spoken
language.
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Non-Verbal Behaviour
Imagine you are communicating
With someone face-to-face.
Estimate the importance of
The three following elements
To getting your message across:

The actual words you say: ______


7%

The way you say those words 38%


______
55%
Your body language ______
100%
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Managing Yourself In Difficult Situations:

1. Silent Question

2. Keep Breathing

3. Keep A Positive/Neutral Face

4. Balance/Open Your Posture

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The Voice of the Self-managed Leader

Controlling
Parent •Standard setting
•Nurturing

Empathy
•Information
Adult processing
•Problem
Controlled
caring
solving
Enthusiasm

Natural
Child •Little professor
•Adapted

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Apollo 13

• What were effective leadership behaviours we


saw?
• What were examples of self-management?
• What were the effects of the self-management and
the behaviours on the situation?

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Welcome to day 2

• Self-Managed Communication
– Communication and motivation
acceptances
– Control vs. Dialogue
– Components of DIALOGUE
– Focused DIALOGUE

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Three Communication Acceptances

1. Can’t really know what another is experiencing (how


they think or feel)
2. Face-to-face communication is always mixed media
(words and non-v’s) and mixed messages (content and
relationship). Non-v’s matter most for meaning.
3. Meanings are in people not words

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Three Motivation Acceptances

• One of the strongest drives in human beings is the


need to be right!
– Feeling/being right depends how we answer three questions in talking to
others:

(1) do I matter?
(2) am I competent?
(3) can I influence this situation?
• Motivation is internal. People don't really move us, we
do it ourselves. We are all motivated to do what we
want.
• In a communication relationship, you can only control
one half of what's going on. Your half.
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COMMUNICATION ACCEPTANCES:
CONCLUSION

• Effective communication motivates when it


establishes a safe context "within and without" the
other so that they can come to a new sense of
"rightness" on their own. It comes down to two
steps: (1) manage yourself, then, (2) lead others!

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THREE TYPES OF TALK

CONNECT TALK

REFLEX PROBLEM

C.O.N.T.R.O.L.
TALK
BE RIGHT

JUDGEMENT
LIGHT

HEAVY

COMPLIANCE AGREEMENT
WITHDRAWAL COMPROMISE
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STYLE ELEMENTS STYLE ELEMENTS
OF CONNECT TALK OF C.O.N.T.R.O.L. TALK

• Basic agreement, no tension, • I talk from judgment


expectations clear • You-messages: tell them their
• Small talk: chatty, sociable, story
casual • Ask questions to probe for
• Simple descriptions of other’s agreement and/or
behavior and of events understanding of my story
• Joking, story telling • Listen for Leverage - for
• Routine description of self agreement with me or
• - actions, preferences, weakness in their story
opinions, beliefs
• Voice tone - friendly, relaxed
• No/low Acknowledgement of
their story
• Build emotional credit
• No/low support for them
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LIGHT CONTROL

TYPE

CRITICAL
C.
JUDGMENT
L
I O. OFFER NEW
INFORMATION
G
H
NEGOTIATE
N. A CHANGE
T
IN OTHER

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IF UNSUCCESSFUL?

TRY AGAIN
OFFER SAME
C INFORMATION
OR ADD NEW
H
T. TERMINATE
O BREAK OFF
GIVE UP
I
TAKE IT
C PERSONALLY
THREAT
E FEELINGS
MOVE TO
HEAVY
CONTROL 50
HEAVY C.O.N.T.R.O.L
RIGHTEOUS RIGHTEOUS
R. ANGER INDIGNATION

AGGRESSIVE PASSIVE
PUT DOWN INTENSE
LABEL COMPLAINT
H 0. MINDREAD DISQUALIFY
COMMAND WHINE
E VENT PLAY MARTYR
DEMAND WITHHOLD
A THREATEN DENY
CRITICIZE PUT DOWN
V RIDICULE SELF
USE SARCASM GIVE EXCUSES
LIE PROCRASTINATE
Y
L. LAY LAY
BLAME BLAME
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THREE TYPES OF TALK

CONNECT TALK

REFLEX PROBLEM CHOICE

C.O.N.T.R.O.L. SELF- D.I.A.L.O.G.U.E.


TALK MGT. TALK
BE RIGHT
SOLVE PROBLEM
JUDGEMENT UNDERSTANDING
LIGHT

HEAVY

COMPLIANCE AGREEMENT COLLABORATION


WITHDRAWAL COMPROMISE COMMITMENT
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OR TRY D.I.A.L.O.G.U.E.

• Understand First - suspend judgment


• Emotional Self-Management - hot to cool feelings

You need to make a choice.

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STYLE ELEMENTS OF
D.I.A.L.O.G.U.E.

• Description - communicate valid info


• I-messages - own your story
• Asking questions - 4W2H
• Listening actively -show empathy
• Open acknowledgement - 4 kinds
• Genuine support - affirm, feedback
• Understand First - suspend judgment
• Emotional Self-Management -hot to cool 54
Description: Straight Talk

• Know your goal


• Choose to use straight talk
– Focus on the issue
– Get to the point using "I" messages
– State you relevant feelings about the effect
of the problem
– Use adult tones and language
– Be congruent

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I-Messages

• The I Message
– Acknowledge the other’s Concerns
– Describe the Behavior you’ve observed
– State how you Feel about it
– State what you Want to happen

• In general terms:
Acknowledgement + Description + Feelings + Request

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Asking questions:
Getting their description

• Open-ended questions: Expand the discussion


– How did you come to that conclusion?
– What do you think of…?
– What is important to you in this situation?
• Close-ended questions
– Focus on specifics
• Fake questions
– Force one specific answer

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Self-managed Listening Skills

• Choose to listen
• Used open-ended comments or questions
• Use close-ended questions
• Listen effectively
– Passive
– Active
– Collaborative

• Focus on finding the information needed


• Summarize to verify and support

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UNDIVIDED ATTENTION

Eyes TO SHOW
Body AND YOUR ______________
1. USE YOUR ______________
READINESS.
Paraverbal SIGNALS TO SHOW YOU’RE
2. USE ___________________
INVOLVED.
Serious ABOUT LISTENING.
3. BE ______________
Content NOT THE SPEAKER’S STYLE.
4. JUDGE THE ______________
5. DELAY EVALUATION UNTIL THE MESSAGE IS GIVEN.
6. LISTEN FOR NEW IDEAS.
Flexible
7. BE ______________.
8. RESIST DISTRACTIONS; FOCUS ON LISTENING.

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Using Acknowledgement
to Build Bridges

• Situational Acknowledgement
– This kind of thing has happened before
• Personal Acknowledgement
– You seem really upset about this
• Disarming Acknowledgement
– I’m not an expert in the field but could we...

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3 Phase Process for dealing with
challenges

Phase 1 Phase 2 Phase 3


Scope Strategize Take Action

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Phase 1: Scoping (Internal D.I.A.L.O.G.U.E.)

•What? Determine and clarify what is involved


and why it is a difficult challenge

•Who? Identify who is affected

•Why? Identify why it is critical to deal/not


deal with it

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Phase 2: Strategizing (Internal
D.I.A.L.O.G.U.E.)

Outcomes Establish desired


outcomes and
objectives
Stakeholders Involving key
stakeholders
Options Consider alternative
options to solve the
challenge
Communication Determine a
communication
strategy 63
Phase 3: Taking Action
Focused dialogue Implement the strategy

Monitor Monitor results and


adjust plans and
strategies as required

Enhance Use your learning to


think about your
results and enhance
your leadership
capabilities 64
Focused DIALOGUE

FOCUSED D.I.A.L.O.G.U.E.
Use Description and I-messages to state purpose, link outcomes, clarify expectations,
present ideas and explain. Ask questions and Listen actively when testing thinking and
inviting others to challenge your ideas.

Exchange
Open
Create the context Information Formulate Close
State the importance Present and discuss Review commitments
Establish clear perspectives… options Agree on actions
expectations for the Ask questions to Brainstorm Confirm trust
meeting understand… alternatives…
Explain your thinking Evaluate ideas
Test your against the broader
assumptions… objectives…

Provide Open acknowledgement and Genuine support during brainstorming, and be


particularly careful to use Descriptive language when evaluating ideas. Ask questions to
get agreement and commitments to action and provide Open acknowledgement and
Genuine support to create trust.

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Influencing Other's Behaviour:

• 1. Description and Straight Talk ("I-Messages")


• Stay in your adult.
• 2. Shift Gears to Active Listening
• 3. Repeat Steps 1 and 2 Until Mutual
Understanding of the Problem
Develops
• 4. Move to Collaborative Problem-Solving

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Influencing People in Difficult
Situations

• Five Attributes and Three S’s

•Courage •Supportive Context


•Confidence •Structured Dialogue
•Perseverance •Solving the Problem
•Patience
•Trust

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Supportive Context

• Take Initiative:
– Ask for the meeting
• Find the Right Space
• Suggest Two Basic Commitments
– Commit to an uninterrupted time, don’t withdraw
– Agree not to interrupt one another or attack each
other

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Structured Dialogue
1. Mutualizing Acknowledgement
2. Brief statement of your view of the
problem then STOP
3. Ask a question to get their view
4. Listen Passively (full attention)
5. Listen Actively (restate what you heard)
6. Ask if you can tell your side
7. Ask for their feedback on your words
8. Repeat steps 2-7 if necessary
• When understanding is clear: Find
solutions
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Managing Upwards

• Pay attention to their concerns


• Frame issues in relation to their concerns and
TTTBTBOU
• Use Focused Dialogue
• Remember to use DIALOGUE talk

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Self-management And Wisdom
• God grant me the serenity to accept the
things I cannot change;
• The courage to change the things I can,
• And the wisdom to know the difference.

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Self-managed Leadership Starts
Within You
• God, grant me the serenity to accept those I
cannot change
• The courage to change the one I can
• And the wisdom to know it’s me.

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Facilitative Leaders

• Manage themselves to lead others


• Develop “do with” power
“the more a leader is honoured, respected
and genuinely regarded by others, the
more legitimate power he/she will have
with others.”
S. Covey

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