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Carrots, Eggs and Coffee Beans A young woman went to her mother and explained that life was

very hard for her. She didnt know how she was going to survive and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling, and it seemed that each time one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen, filled three pots with water and placed each pot on a high fire. Soon, the pots came to a boil. In the first pot she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed a pouch of ground coffee beans. In about 20 minutes, the mother of the young woman turned off the burners. She fished out the carrots and the eggs and placed them in separate bowls. She then ladled out the coffee, which had resulted from the coffee beans in the third pot, and poured it into another bowl. Turning to her daughter, she instructed, Tell me what you see. I see carrots, eggs and coffee, the young woman replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. Upon feeling the carrots, the young woman noted that they were soft. Her mother then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed a hardboiled egg. Finally, her mother asked her to sip the coffee. The young woman smiled as she inhaled the coffees inviting aroma and savored the taste of its rich flavor. Then she asked, But, what does it mean, Mom? Her mother explained to her that each of the objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. However, each reacted very differently. The carrot had been strong, hard, and unrelenting but, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior but, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans, on the other hand . . . they were unique. After being subjected to the boiling water, they had actually changed the water. So, the older woman asked her daughter, which one are you? When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? So, its time to ask yourself . . . Which am I? Do I seem strong but then become soft and lose my strength when faced with pain and adversity, like the carrot? Am I more like the egg? Did I start out start out with a malleable heart and a fluid spirit that became hardened or stiff after the death of someone close to me, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial? Does my shell look the same, even though Ive become cold and tough on the inside? Or, am I closer in character to the coffee bean, which releases its fragrance and flavor when faced with hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain? In other words, when things are at their worst, do I make things better by changing the situation around me? When the hour is darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

In my experience, the happiest of people dont necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their way. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy, and . . . May we all be COFFEE BEANS!!

Have a Child's Mindset When you think about children of the toddler age, or are blessed to experience them yourself, you come to a realization that they are always on the move, never wanting to stop. They go through each day with more enthusiasm than a grown up can ever imagine and never tire. They coast through their early years often with no real trouble and usually with a smile on their faces. Children seem to have something about them that we as grownups lost somewhere along the line. They have the ability to forgive quickly, not really worry about things and get frustrated over things, and just enjoy the simple things in life, while never taking them for granted. They never hold grudges and never hold resentments against someone, and if for some strange reason they do, they are playing and interacting with them the next day on the playground. I had experiences with my two daughters when I walked in their room and they were in their cribs. They would jump up and down, screaming with happiness and great big smiles on their faces. I often wondered what they were smiling and happy about? Was it their birthday? Was it Christmas? Were we leaving on vacation to Disney?? The answer to those questions is No... It was not their birthday, nor was it Christmas and we were not going to Disney... They were just excited about the dawning of a new day. They are happy to embrace a new day and cannot wait to start it! That is where I started to think... I thought to myself... Why can't adults behave like this? When did we lose this zest for life? Can we get it back and keep it? Too many times as adults, we forget how to live our lives happily and the days seem to slip on by. Sometimes people tend to mope around, sadly to say, over a variety of things that are out of their control like the weather, or something that happened to them in the past, or even something as silly as someone talking about them at the water cooler. Sometimes, people live not just one day like this, but many. They do not know that they cannot get that day or days back... Ever! They repeatedly sob and sulk and in the interim, try to bring others to their level. We are not on this earth to be miserable. We are on it for reasons: To take each day and make the best out of it. To face new challenges and grow from them. To spill over our joy and happiness in the event that someone else will be infected by it. We and our emotions are contagious to the people that surround us, be it strangers or loved

ones. Like the children that are on this planet, we need to seize the day. We are not on this earth for infinity, but only for a short time. Today, go back to when you were a child and live without the troublesome melancholy that can seem to swallow you up at times. When you wake in the morning, don't be grumpy and sad because it is too early. Spring out of that bed and hit the floor running like the children do. Make your whole day a game of sorts, and when tomorrow comes, play it again but this time, do it better. Life comes at you very fast and when it does, you have to be ready. Before you know it, your children will have children and your time on this earth will be coming to an end. I do not know about you, but I always want to have the mental freedom of a child and will play this game of life daily. I will reflect back on my losses and not fret about them, but seek the knowledge I need so it never happens again. What can I say? I do not want to grow up SRI BHAGHAVAT GITA An old Farmer lived on a farm in the mountains with his young grandson. Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Bhagavat Geeta. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could. One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa! I try to read the Bhagavat Geeta just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Bhagavat Geeta do?" The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, "Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water." The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, "You'll have to move a little faster next time", and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead. The old man said," I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough", and he went out the door to watch the boy try again. At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house. The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, "See Grandpa, it's useless!" "So you think it is useless?" The old man said. "Look at the basket."

The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different. It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out. "Son, that's what happens when you read the Bhagavat Geeta. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Krishna in our lives." Take Care Of Your Relationships
Saving A Relationship When I got home that night, as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, "I've got something to tell you." She sat down and ate quietly. I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want a divorce." I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?" I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "You are not a man!" That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage but I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer. She had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love my wife anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement, which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said, for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally my wife cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of a divorce, which had obsessed me for several weeks, seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to bed and fell asleep very fast because I was tired, after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and went to sleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions. She didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested for the one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me but she had something more. She asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room, on our wedding day. She requested that every morning, for the month's duration, I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable, I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife's odd divorce condition. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce," she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "Daddy is holding Mommy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Don't tell our son about the divorce." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more; there were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the third day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had

given ten years of her life to me. On the fourth and fifth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. My wife was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown bigger." I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin. That was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, "Dad, it's time to carry Mom out." To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day but her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms, I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, "I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy." I drove to office and then jumped out of the car swiftly, without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind. I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, "Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore." She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. "Do you have a fever?" she said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Jane," I said. "I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day, I am supposed to hold her until death do us part."

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop, on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until death do us part." That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands and a smile on my face. I ran upstairs only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was too busy with Jane to even notice. My wife knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from whatever negative reaction that might come from our son, in case we pushed through with the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son, I was a loving husband.

Morale of the story: The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, or the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! Please consider sharing this story. If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Remember: Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. And for those of us not married, we can learn the art of sticking together with our relationship partner, despite the odds. You are both stronger than the odds, only when you agree to stick together

Prayer of Husband and Wife

This is a daily prayer is for all married couples. Husband and wife may hold each others hands while reciting this prayer. O God, we want to live our life together with you and always to continue it with you. Help us never to hurt and never to grieve each other. Help us to share all our works, all our hopes, all our dreams, all our successes, all our failures, all our joys and all our sorrows. Help us to have no secrets from each other so that we may be truly one. Keep us always true to each other, and grant that all the years ahead may draw us more and more closer to each other. Grant that nothing may ever come between us and nothing may ever make us drift apart. And as we live with each other, help us to live with you, so that our love may grow perfect in your love, for you are the God whose name is love. This we ask for your loves sake.Aum

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