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Cooper Lodge threw his jacket onto the coat hanger and removed his socks. His wife, Agnes, meanwhile sat on the sofa with her arms folded. Cooper looked at her. “What's the matter?” he said. “Nothing,” said Agnes. “I know something's wrong,” said Cooper. “Tell me.” “I was just thinking...” “Yes?” “My life is so boring!” “Is it?” “Yeah! And everyone else has it better than us! When I was young I never imagined I'd live like this. It's crummy, Coop.” “Roof over our head, a steady paycheque, our own car, and a cable television – it's not that bad.” “The neighbors have two cars. You know how inconvenient it is to have one car?” “So, what should I do about that?” “Ask your boss for a raise.” “Sorry, Agnes, I already did that and he raised my salary by ten cents an hour.” “Ten cents. That's hardly anything.” “Well, I work 40 hours a week. Add that up and you have --” “$192.00 a year.” “Yes, but with the magic of compound interest that adds up.” Agnes pouted. Cooper sat beside her. “Come now,” he said. “There's no need to be in such a grouchy mood.” “Why shouldn't I be grouchy?” said Agnes. “We are a boring, below average couple.” “Well, get ready for excitement, dear,” said Cooper, “because next week is your high school reunion!” “Already!” “Yes, already.” “I'm not ready.” “Why not?” “Everyone's going to see what a miserable failure I am.” “You are not a miserable failure.” “Says you.” Agnes stomped her feet and went upstairs. But when the next week came she was all ready and excited. In the living room she spun about in her read dress while receiving compliments from her very dear husband. “What do you think?” said Agnes. “You look incredible,” said Cooper. “Everyone's going to be jealous. You haven't aged since I met you.” “Do you really think they're going to be jealous? “Definitely.” “That's great!” “Hold on, my dear, I just remembered I left my tie upstairs...”
“Want me to go get it?” “Why don't you wait in the car? I'll only be only a minute.” “Okay.” So, Cooper went up to retrieve his tie, and Agnes grabbed her new purse, and went outside. As she was about to get into the car that sat on the driveway, she turned her head to a familiar noise. It was the noise of an ice cream truck – it had that unsettling song, which all children recognize. Agnes looked at her watch. It was 7:00 pm, an unusual time for ice cream. The ice cream truck stopped and a man with a name tag that read Barron leaned out. He had on a silly, white, paper hat. “Hi,” said Baxter. “You're looking awfully pretty.” “Oh, uh, well,” said Agnes, taken aback, “why, thank you.” “Would you like some ice cream?” “I'm sorry. I'm watching my figure.” “It's free.” “Again, no thank you. Maybe you can find some older children and sell it to them.” “What if I told you it was special ice cream?” “What's so special about it?” “The ice cream bar I have, only one, cannot melt.” “How does that work?” “A bit of science, a bit of magic. I made it myself.” “I don't believe you.” Baxter extended his arm and showed her an ice cream bar, still fresh in wrapper. Agnes went over to him and reluctantly inspected it. She put her hands around it in the hopes that it would melt and she would expose a funny. “Incredible,” said Agnes. “This invention will make you a million bucks. But what about when you eat it?” “That's the beauty,” said Baxter. “It reacts with the saliva on your tongue and melts.” “But how does it taste?” “Very good. As good as any other ice cream or frozen dessert.” “Hm, can I buy a few? I'd like to have one for my husband.” “I only have one, remember?” “It's a hot seller is it?” “No. I just made one. There's a reason for it. It is very special.” “I know.” “More than you think. If you eat it you can switch lives with anyone you please.” “What's that?” “If you eat it you can switch lives with anyone you please. Just take a bit, close your eyes, and imagine who you want to be.” “Ha! What the hell is wrong with you? You expect me to believe that?” “Trust me – I wouldn't lie to you.” “Let's say it did work, why would I use it?” “That's up to you, Agnes.” “How did you know my name?” Baxter winked and drove off. Agnes turned around and saw her husband, Cooper, with his tie on. “Ready to go,” he said. The high school gym was packed with people.
Agnes held Cooper's arm as she walked to her table, of course while seeing all the “kids” from her past. There was Jamie, Jill, Bob, Bill, Rob, Chris, Cody, Paul, Francine, and even Mitch. After Mitch left high school everyone thought that he'd gone off the rails and ended up in a looney bin. Mitch bumped into Agnes and Cooper. “Agnes,” said Mitch, “Cooper, omigod! How you guys doing?” “Great, and yourself?” said Agnes. “Oh, not bad at all,” said Mitch. “I invested in the stock market – and now I'm a millionaire.” “Really?” said Cooper. “Yeah,” said Mitch. “I used to be a multimillionaire, and then I lost half my investment. Ha-haha!” Agnes and Cooper forced some laughter, then quickly sprinted to their table and sat down. There the two waited for the presentation and tomfoolery to begin. Course they passed the time with chit chat. “Did you see Jill?” said Agnes. “She's really lost a lot of weight. I swear, about a hundred pounds or so.” “Good for her,” said Cooper. “She's quite attractive now.” “Compared to what?” “Uuuh, not compared to you of course.” “That's more like it.” “So, do you think we'll see Nicole? I haven't spotter her anywhere.” “Right, you had a huge crush on her, didn't you? But you got rejected.” “You should thank her for that, otherwise we wouldn't have met each other.” “I hope she doesn't come. That Nicole is such a show off. She always has to outdo everyone. That spoilt cheerleader. Boy, I hope she comes here as a mess. I hope she's a drug addicted loser. That ought to even out the karma, don't you think?” “I do not wish that upon my greatest enemy.” “Okay, goody two shoes. I gotta go to bathroom. Hold my seat, will you?” “Sure thing.” Then Agnes let herself up. When she was almost to the bathroom, the doors to the gym opened up, and in walked Nicole Richardson. She was dazzling from head to toe in a sparkling gold dress and she had an amazingly handsome man by her side. Even more amazing was their Ferrari that could be seen just behind them. After Nicole ignored all the turned heads she went straight for the lady's room, saying that she needed to powder her nose. On her way there she locked eyes with Agnes. “What are you looking at?” said Nicole with her nose turned up. “Nothing,” said Agnes. “Nothing at all.” “I know what you're implying. I can see that you're already foaming with jealousy.” “Am not.” “Aren't you that girl, who used to have those horrendous braces? What did we call you? Brace face? Or was it ass face?” “Yeah, it was brace face. Ass face was the other girl.” “Hm, so what have you been up to then over all these years, brace face?” “Just getting by, you know, living day to day. Yourself?” “My husband just got a promotion at his investment firm. He's making over three million dollars a year now. I'm very pleased with him.” Agnes could hardly believe it. “How's that possible?” she said. “It's pennies in the world of finance,” said Nicole. “I bet you don't understand these things.”
“Now, isn't that a condescending attitude?” “I'm only speaking the truth.” “Why, you, you, you --” “I have to go, brace face. Enjoy yourself.” With that Nicole went into the washroom, where she presumably powdered her nose, or fixed her face or whatever. Meanwhile Agnes was so angry that she forgotten that she needed to go pee; she returned to her table, and sat down beside Cooper. “Wow,” said Cooper, “did you see Nicole? She looked absolutely stunning.” Agnes pinched Cooper. “She did not look stunning! She had a pound of makeup on her face, did you not see that?” “Relax honey,” said Cooper. “Don't be so jealous.” A week went by, and Agnes was still fuming about her run in with Cooper. This bothered her so much that she couldn't even enjoy her soap operas. Cooper tried to console her. He rubbed her shoulder, telling her to relax. “Come now,” said Cooper. “I'm sure that she isn't that much better off than us. There's no reason to be so peeved.” “Oh, quiet!” said Agnes. “You don't understand this woman. She is evil in human form. The things she'd do to me. And I still can't believe you called her absolutely stunning. Do you know how course that is?” “But she is stunning.” “I bet you'd sleep with her if you could. If she hadn't rejected you all those years ago, I bet you wouldn't even give me a glance. I was rebound for you that worked out.” “What is this, what if that? You have to quit making up these scenarios. I have no idea what I would've done.” “I hate Nicole.” “Okay, you hate her. So what are you going to do about it? Continue being angry and letting her ruin your life?” “Maybe.” “For Petesake, Agnes. Let it go.” Agnes ignored her husband, with a sneer, and retreated to their bedroom. She locked the door, and paced up and down alone. As she was doing this she noticed the ice cream bar given to her by the weird ice cream man. She went to it and grabbed it from the dresser top. It was not a pile of gooey liquid. It still retained its shape. She remembered what he said about switching places with anyone you want. “Should I?” Agnes thought aloud. “I, I bet it doesn't even work!. She paced around again, but this time with the ice cream bar in her hand. She paused. “What could it hurt? Maybe I should just try it. But what if it's poison? Hm. That's a risk -- I'm willing to take.” She ripped off the ice cream bar packaging and put the ice cream bar in her mouth. She bit down and imagined that she switched lives with Nicole. She opened her eyes. Nothing happened. “I can't believe myself,” she said, “I can't believe I thought that would work.” Agnes went into bed and called it a day. Then she woke up and found herself elsewhere, surrounded by three gray fuzzy walls. There was a telephone receiver laying next to her head. She sat up and looked around. A gruff fellow tapped her on the back. “Nicole,” said the supervisor, “if I catch you sleeping on the job one more time I am going to have you fired! Hear me?” “What are you going on about?” said Agnes.
“Nicole, you are the slowest person ever,” said the supervisor. “I guess you're type of help we get for minimum wage.” “Minimum wage?” said Agnes. “Regardless, I don't want you screwing around on company time. Now get back to work.” “But --” “Now, please!” Agnes had no choice. She worked the phones, clumsily, confused, and without any prior knowledge, until the ten hour day was over. Then she went outside, leaving “her” work place, and waited at the bus stop. She wanted to find her way home. As she was waiting she saw herself; she saw her old body. Agnes chased Nicole, who had switched places with her. “What's going on?!” said Agnes. “Give me back my body!” “That would be a stupid idea, now wouldn't it?” said Nicole cooly. “You tricked me!” “Did I? Heh. I used your own jealousy against you.” “I'm going to get my body back. I'll find another ice cream bar.” “You fool, the ice cream bar didn't get us to switch places. It wasn't magical. It was only there to keep you unconscious.” “What's that?” “Agnes – or should I say Nicole? We switched brains through means of surgery. The food you were given, nothing too miraculous in reality, put you into a short coma. While that happened Cooper collected your body, and he put both of us under the knife by surgeon, so that we could switch bodies. It's a new experimental procedure.” “Why would he do that?” “Maybe because you're never satisfied with him; add that to the fact of how messy divorces are, and bingo. So, how did you enjoy your job? It was hard sneaking you in. We thought it would help you to get acclimated.” Nicole pushed Agnes away, and then stepped into a car by the curbside. There she joined Cooper. The two drove away. And so Agnes faced life (literally) as a new woman, but when time passed she became comfortable in her body, and never hoped to be another person again. Fin.