Paul English

Black & White Publishing

First published 2011 by Black & White Publishing Ltd 29 Ocean Drive, Edinburgh EH6 6JL 1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2 11 12 13 14

ISBN: 978 1 84502 359 1 Copyright © Paul English 2011 The right of Paul English to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without permission in writing from the publisher. A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. Typeset by RefineCatch Limited, Bungay, Suffolk Printed and bound by Cox & Wyman, Reading

Acknowledgements Introduction

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THE QUIZZES River City People More From Montego Street Clydeside Coupling More Clydeside Coupling Clydeside Coupling Continued . . . Clydeside Crime More Clydeside Crime Siblings in the City Soapy Doubles Family Ties Clan Murdoch Clan Rossi The Adams Family Arrivals & Departures Montego Street Marriages Christmas on Clydeside Shieldinch Public Health Department More Medical Matters You Can Choose Your Friends, But Not Your Family Relative Values Guest Appearances Life Beyond Sheildinch Ship Shape Parenthood A Shieldinch Stroll

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More Around Montego . . . Moving on to a Better Place Dispatches on the Banks of the Clyde Working Nine to Five Shieldinch Industries Ltd Behind the Scenes at Shieldinch Making Montego Street Faces From Fiction More Faces From Fiction Before and After Montego Street Before and After Montego Street Continued . . . Montego Street Music Makers Real Life Beyond the River Two Bob Job Raymondo’s Tall Ship General Knowledge Pub Quiz Raymondo’s Tall Ship General Knowledge Pub Quiz Continued . . .

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THE ANSWERS River City People More From Montego Street Clydeside Coupling More Clydeside Coupling Clydeside Coupling Continued . . . Clydeside Crime More Clydeside Crime Siblings in the City Soapy Doubles Family Ties Clan Murdoch Clan Rossi The Adams Family Arrivals & Departures Montego Street Marriages Christmas on Clydeside

101 101 101 101 102 102 102 103 103 104 104 104 104 105 105 106 107

Shieldinch Public Health Department More Medical Matters You Can Choose Your Friends, But Not Your Family Relative Values Guest Appearances Life Beyond Sheildinch Ship Shape Parenthood A Shieldinch Stroll More Around Montego . . . Moving on to a Better Place Dispatches on the Banks of the Clyde Working Nine to Five Shieldinch Industries Ltd Behind the Scenes at Shieldinch Making Montego Street Faces From Fiction More Faces From Fiction Before and After Montego Street Before and After Montego Street Continued . . . Montego Street Music Makers Real Life Beyond the River Two Bob Job Raymondo’s Tall Ship General Knowledge Pub Quiz Raymondo’s Tall Ship General Knowledge Pub Quiz Continued . . .

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RIVER CITY SCORESHEET

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Thanks for patience and research to: Jean Hamilton, Alasdair Baird, Brian Hamilton, Anne Marie Nimmo, Steve Hendry at Daily Record and Sunday Mail plus Karen Higgins and Roy Templeton at BBC Scotland. And to Dr Joan Perry and Geoff Nolan for timely dictation shifts. Special thanks to River City cast members past and present for giving up their time to help: Morag Calder, Allison McKenzie, Colin McCredie, Tony Kearney and the truly encyclopedic Tom Urie. See you for a pint down the Ship . . .

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IN 2001, Angela Dewar, my then boss at the Daily Record, gave me a special project. ‘They’re making a soap opera in Scotland,’ she said. ‘It’s going to be like EastEnders in Glasgow. I want you to cover it.’ Ten years later, I’ve followed every cough and spit on the tarmac of Montego Street, watching the faces come and go with the tides of the Clyde on the banks of River City. I’ve been one of hundreds of thousands who regularly tune in across Scotland to catch up with the residents of the country’s most famous fictional city suburb. From the Maliks to the Murdochs, the murders in the boat yard to the mayhem in Moda Vida, The Tall Ship shenanigans and the crisis coffees in the Oyster Café, I’ve followed it through good times and bad. Now, as the soap approaches its ten-year anniversary, I’ve cast my eye back over the years and drawn up this collection of quiz questions covering everything from the first words spoken to what they put in Gina’s buns. It’s the only pub quiz they’ll never have in The Tall Ship. So pull up a pew and we’ll do it ourselves. Mine’s a pint of pretend beer. Paul English, Daily Record TV Critic, Summer 2011.

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River City People

How well do you know your riverside regulars? 1 2 Which Scottish acting legend plays battleaxe Molly O’Hara? Michael Mackenzie played camp hairdresser Robbie’s boyfriend. But what was the character’s name? Neil McNulty plays which dodgy businessman? Former Taggart star Colin McCredie played Nick Morrison. Was he a) a politician b) a joiner c) a train driver? If Theresa is Shellsuit Bob’s mum, who is his dad? Which Dundee-born former Corrie hunk played Innes Maitland? Which tousle-haired crimper is played by Gary Lamont? Councillor Alex Judd was played by the real life brother of the actress who played Sharon McLaren from Arran. Name him. And what is his big brother Martin’s connection to the soap? Which character did Titanic star Ewan Stewart play in River City? 2

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What was Daniel McKee’s wife’s name? a) Fi b) Leigh c) Marianne Name the unlucky in love character played by June Brogan. Monica Gibb played which character? a) Lawyer Fi b) Barmaid Betty c) Nun Norma Who played Shirley’s best mate Viv Roberts? What character did Scots beauty Kirsty Mitchell play when she appeared in 2008? Sean Brown and Anthony Martin played which pair of brothers whose father was killed? Polish actor Pavel Douglas played Patrick Johnston who formed an alliance with Archie Buchanan. Was he: a) a gangster b) a lawyer c) a coal man? Julie Duncanson, who starred in BBC comedy Velvet Soup, played which controversial multiply-married character? Homophobic cop DI Whiteside came on board to investigate DCI Hunter’s death, but who played this rogue cop? Which widowed mother of two did Jenny Ryan play?

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For answers, please turn to page 101

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More from Montego Street

Consider yourself ready to move in to Shieldinch if you can answer this lot . . . 1 2 Name both actresses who have played Jo Rossi. Junior actor Adam Khan played which son of a character played by two different people? Which famous Scottish newspaper agony aunt got a mention during a domestic spat between Jimmy and Scarlett in 2007? Bob was engaged to, and nearly married, Charlie. But what was her surname? a ) Chalk b) Nicholas c) Drummond Who plays Deek? Who plays Shellsuit Bob? When Shellsuit Bob was written out due to the actor who plays him having fallen ill, where had he gone? Name the actress who plays Scarlett. Which flame haired River City actress has also been a singer in 1980s band Sophisticated Boom Boom?

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Who has played Raymond Henderson since the show’s beginning?

For answers, please turn to page 101

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Clydeside Coupling

Love makes the world go round – especially on Tuesday nights on BBC1. How well do you know the lives and loves of the River City regulars? 1 Shellsuit Bob proposed to Zara Malik from the top of a a) cherry picker b) JCB c) bin lorry. Name the single mum who dumped Shellsuit Bob and stole his cash. Father Michael became embroiled in a messy twoway split for his affections between which mother and daughter? When Tina delivered the ultimatum to Eddie ‘It’s either Scott or me’ which one did he walk out of The Tall Ship with? Which of Roisin’s sisters had an affair with Marty? Who did Gina end up having an affair with behind Murray’s back? Which unlikely pair ended up locking lips during a game of spin the bottle in the students’ flat?

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Name Malcolm’s late wife. Just as Andy and Gabriella were about to get married what did Ruth do? When Charlie snogged Nicole Brodie what didn’t he know about her? Leyla married Michael Brodie but where was her character from? Which one of the following has never been Amber’s boyfriend? a) Rory b) Lee c) Fraser d) Scott Big Bob’s girlfriend Tattie came from which country? Where did Tattie and Big Bob meet? Name Nick Morrison’s wife. Which teenager had a crush on councillor Nick? Which Shieldinch copper did Ruth date? PC Harry Black was played by Carter Ferguson. He was also one of the stunt men on River City. True or false? Shellsuit Bob has never been married. True or false?

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Test yourself! Are you a Shieldinch superfan?
Do you know your Ambers from your Scarletts? Would you know your way from the Montego Deli to The Tall Ship? And does Shellsuit Bob ever actually wear a shellsuit?
Test your knowledge of Scottish soap opera River City in this fun, unofficial quiz about the life and times of the residents of the fictional town of Shieldinch. This quirky quiz covers everything from the birth of Madonna and the parts played by pop stars, to the only stop on Glasgow’s Clockwork Orange never to have seen a train. Whether you’re a casual fan or a loyal devotee, test how much you really know about Scotland’s best (and only) TV soap with The Completely Unofficial River City Quiz Book.
Paul English is an entertainment journalist with the Daily Record, whose day job demands that he watches River City with a giant magnifying glass. He has been the Daily Record’s TV Critic for six years, writing a weekly column and interviewing the great and the good of Shieldinch on a regular basis. ‘What Paul doesn’t know about River City isn’t worth knowing. In fact, some of what he does know about River City obviously isn’t worth knowing either.’ Tony Kearney (Scott Wallace) ‘Every week, he bashed on to us behind the scenes as TV Critic on The Hour about Nurse Jackie, Limmy’s Show and Lost. Now we know the real truth. English is the Shieldinch anorak to Bob’s shellsuit. I’m worried for him.’ Michelle McManus, River City fan and TV presenter ‘Paul English knows more about my character than I did. Lovely guy, and all that, but maybe he should get out more.’ Allison McKenzie (Jo Rossi)

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