BAJILLIONS ON STRIKE

A BAJILLION MILLION PEOPLE ARE DUE TO GO ON STRIKE OVER MILIBAND 'MUST WE FORGET WHAT BUT THEORY' SAY COMRADES ISNT IT EXCITING. SCIENTISTS
A Bajillion kazillion workers will be on strike today outstripping the predicted figure of a couple of thousand spending the day in the pub. Mass disruption is predicted as unions walk out over something kind of dull but that basically means we get to spend the day pretending it's the 80s and shouting 'SCAB' at anything that moves. While the Daily Mail says that up to a hundred thousand will cross picket lines, the FLR hears that a bajillion +1 times infinity (no backsies!) wont.

EXIST IN POLITICAL

ED MILIBAND MUST EXIST In order for politics in the UK to act in the way it does, claim political scientists. Through careful analysis of data, a large amount of political mass is known to be missing from the overall observations of the Commons and mainstream media. Calculating the space of the Commons divided by the rage-inducing power of things like BBC question time, observers were able to establish that a large mass of political ineptitude, known as 'Dark Labour' had to exist in order to maintain the fabric of British politics, yet was oddly invisible. Much to the dismay of fellow mathematicians, the results appear to be correct and watertight.

MICHAEL GOVE will lay his fertilized eggs inside the spines of over 100,000 copies of the King James Bible it was confirmed at the weekend, and will then proceed to bide his time. In a press conference Gove praised the King James Bible as “The foundation of the modern English language and also the new dominant species of the planet” and noted that thousands of Muslim children would have the opportunity to read the book with “their own, plump, fluid-filled eyes”. Once the Bibles had reached the schools, Gove stated, they were to be placed inside the special incubation-sacs distributed by the department of education in a controversial set of moves that also included high-fat diets for children and the cancellation of sports programmes.

GOVE LAYS EGGS IN BIBLES, BIDES TIME.

MORE TEDIUM>>>

PARTY SPLITS OVER RUSSIA DEBATE

The SWM-WLTM-BBW-NSA-ML (GB) SPLIT today over a disagreement about working on a fundraiser with an anarchist group which was part of the same international that once collaborated with a rival Trostkyist faction that fought against Lenin's decision to enact the project of treddle-thread makers' collectivization . This diagram was all they sent us.

STUDENTS AND WORKERS BLAH TUM TIDDLY
ON THIS NOV 30th STRIKE, WE NEED TO REMEMBER THE NECESSITY FOR STUDENTS AND WORKERS TO HUM DE HO AND ALSO SOMETHING DERP
The student movement has seen massive success but it is also clear that they don't talk about CLASS and WORKERS enough. That is why it is necessary for students and workers to herp de derp together and also blahdeblah to challenge the power of the bosses. Bukharin once said that “correct revolutionary forms...recombination of class interests alongside...workers. War of position...capitalism”. STRIKE!!!! FORWARD COMRADES. NEXT ISSUE: - 'The Pat Butcher lookalike work was a lowpoint': Alex Callinicos in Conversation - Clem Towel discusses the ideas of Bnreovadzonavogodovalliski - Man at Occupation has 'interesting' views on the Diana crash.

FIVE THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT STRIKES
By Erwin Groonhammer

1) The first strike ever was held in 1822 over the working conditions at a lard mine in Derbyshire. Thousands of lard miners walked out and then forgot where the mine was so couldn't go back. Still counts! 2) There is a legal limit of 7 to any picket line, however this can be boosted to 14 by using twins, who legally count as one person. 3) Actual flying pickets were used in the 80s by harnessing the plentiful geese attracted to the coaldust of the mines to a special sleigh. 4) If you correctly identify a scab and shout scab at them, points are scored. The points can be traded for upgrades at later stages in the class struggle. 5) Strikes can last up to 3 weeks, during which time the men will fight for the attention of the females.

PICTURE OF A FIST

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