Ladies and gentlemen, please, allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Matt, I’m a law student/paralegal/Sky Sports blog author and Torquay United supporter. I’m one of those proper supporters, you know the kind. I throw my toys out of the pram if we lose, and sing our praises from the rooftops if we win, all the while, in my heart, knowing that this is the way of football, and life, you win some, you lose some. I will freely admit to not being the most talented writer in the world (which, I guess is why I do this for Sky Sports and not the BBC). In point of fact, unless it’s me and Piers Morgan locked together in a phone box, I’m not even the most talented writer in any given room, but I’ll give it my best shot. On the aforementioned subject of winning some and losing some, I’d like to take us on a short journey aboard a faster than light neutrino and back in time to January of 2010, when a story appeared on the official Torquay United website, telling visitors of the signing of a young Irish lad by the name of Eunan O’ Kane. “BEHOLD” the headline should, perhaps, have screamed, “THE MESSIAH COMMETH AMONG US!” But it didn’t. It probably said something dull like; “United sign O’Kane”. That, as it turns out, is a little bit like a man in Birmingham finding Her Majesty The Queen hiding in his basement, covered in strawberry flavoured Angel Delight and riding a bucking bronco, in the buff, and the local newspaper reporting the incident with the headline “Local man has evening disturbed”. For those who haven’t seen the goals that young Mr O’ Kane scored in our recent home match with Plymouth Argyle, you’ve missed out, I’m afraid. His first, a clean volley of a dropping ball, which was spinning with such speed as to act as its own gyroscope, was certainly a thing of beauty. However, the 35 yard lob of Argyle stopper Roman Larrieu, who, it must be noted, was playing in the Championship just three years ago for a very successful Plymouth Argyle team, really was an exceptional goal which would have graced La Liga, let alone lowly League Two. It wasn’t as if Larrieu was all that far off his line, he was just milling about as ‘keepers do when they perceive no danger, 6 yards or so out of net, but paying attention. He continued to pay attention as the ball sailed gracefully over his head and into the goal. Eunan is, without question or shadow of doubt, the best footballer in League Two. He would almost certainly be the best footballer in League One had Stevenage not taken the plaudits at Old Trafford in last year’s League Two Play-off Final (by a mix of fair means and foul). He will, inevitably, end up in the Premier League (if that division doesn’t soon implode under the sheer weight of its own self-importance. More on that in the future, no doubt). In other news, we have managed to get a plum tie in the second round of the FA Cup, and some of our supporters are unhappy about this. I’m a little bemused. I certainly shan’t criticise any of our following for wanting to reach the third round, but we have fallen foul of this ‘just one more easy team, then the big boys next time’ tactic before. As recently as last year, we made the fourth round, and some of our support was delighted when we got non-league opposition. An excellent way to collect some free prize money, and then hope for the Premier League champions in the round five. Sadly, our greed (for that is what it is) cost us dear, as the non-league outfit we were due to play were moneybags Crawley, they duly beat us in what attendees will surely
but. ultimately.remember as the worst game of football ever played. fall just a little short of their standard and end up on the losing side. we will have at least had a long-awaited shot at one of the big boys… I can’t wait.
. It will be our shortest FA Cup run for a while. Just to add insult to injury. they. but that hardly seems to matter. They lost. ironically. We are due to play Sheffield United on Saturday December 3rd. drew Man Utd in round five. of course. I’m sure we will.