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St. Joseph of Arimathea .
Burial Office Planning
The liturgy for the dead is an Easter liturgy. It finds all its meaning in the resurrection. Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we, too, shall be raised. The liturgy, therefore, is characterized by joy, in the certainty that “neither death, not life, nor angels, nor principalities, not things present, nor things to come, nor powers, not height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” This joy, however, does not make human grief unchristian. The very love we have for each other in Christ brings deep sorrow when we are parted by death. Jesus himself wept at the grave of his friend. So, while we rejoice that one we love has entered into the nearer presence of our Lord, we sorrow in sympathy with those who mourn. Keep in mind that your funeral is likely your last act of Christian witness. Approach the planning with prayer and reverence. From the Book of Common Prayer: “When a person is near death, the Minister of the Congregation should be notified, in order that the ministrations of the Church may be provided.” (p. 462) “It is appropriate that the family and friends come together for prayers prior to the funeral.” (p. 465) “The death of a member of the church should be reported as soon as possible to, and arrangements for the funeral should be made in consultation with the Minister of the Congregation.” (p. 468; 490). “Baptized Christians are properly buried from the church. The service should be held at a time when the congregation has opportunity to be present.” (p. 468; 490). If this handbook is being used by the family and not for pre-panning by the individual, the following is a helpful checklist to help you anticipate the procedures necessary following the death of a loved one: ❖ Notify the Rector of St. Joseph of Arimathea in order that a priest can meet with you and provide pastoral care and counseling.

103 Country Club Drive • Hendersonville, TN 37075 St. Joseph of Arimathea Church| stjosephofarimathea.org | T: (615) 824-2910 | F: (615) 824-3135

❖ Notify the Funeral Home and make them aware of your intention to have an Episcopal funeral and, coordinating with the Priest and Funeral Director, set the date of the service/burial. The Priest is available to meet with you to assist in the planning of this service. Burial services at St. Joseph of Arimathea are from the Book of Common Prayer, 1979 utilizing Rite I found on page 469 or Rite II beginning on page 491. St. Joseph of Arimathea Episcopal Church will provide a funeral for anyone. The family or the deceased do not have to be a member of St. Joseph of Arimathea, an Episcopalian or a baptized Christian. Everyone deserves to have a dignified burial service. We will use one of the Burial services provided in the Book of Common Prayer or the “Burial of one not professing the Christian faith” from the Book of Occasional Services. A funeral is held in the sanctuary, with or without Holy Communion. St. Joseph of Arimathea has a seating capacity of approximately 125. The priest will coordinate the date and time of the funeral with the director of the funeral home that the family has contracted. The family makes arrangements for a burial plot through the funeral home. A reception in the undercroft following the funeral service may be arranged, but the family or friends must provide the refreshments or contract with a caterer.

Things to keep in mind
Days and times for funeral & memorial services: Funerals and memorial services are conducted Monday through Saturday, generally between the hours of 10:00 AM and 3:00 PM. They are not scheduled on a Sunday or Holy Days (e.g. Good Friday, Easter, Christmas Day etc...). Visitation Families are welcomed and encouraged to hold visitations at the church. Visitations are generally held the night before or immediately prior the funeral service. The priest and family will work together to determine the appropriate hours for the visitation. Eulogies Eulogies are not appropriate in the context of the service, and often place undo pressure on grieving family members and friends. It is suggested that a better context for the sharing of memories or more formal eulogies is during the visitation prior to the service or at the reception following. This allows all present at the service to grieve without the

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expectation or desire of performance. Additionally, it means one less thing for the family to plan for if a eulogy was not planned or prepared beforehand. Flowers & Decorations The flowers offered to God at the altar are the only floral tribute allowed in the nave. The family provides altar flowers for all funeral services. We suggest contacting a florist that is familiar with the space and limitations of St. Joseph’s, such as Brown’s Florist in Hendersonville (269 W Main Street Hendersonville, TN 37075, Phone: 615-824-0857 ) The family may talk with the Altar Guild about existing flowers within the church. All florists must use the church containers/vases and should contact the priest or Altar Guild for instructions. It is helpful to discourage folks from the purchase of large floral displays, and to instead ask that they contribute toward the purchase of flowers that allow the florist flexibility to work within our guidelines and with our resources. A good way to accomplish this is to have a conversation with a particular florist and then direct people to contact that florist in the context of the obituary and funeral announcement, along with instructions as to which charities memorials can be directed toward. Other flowers delivered to the Church may be used in small arraignments in the narthex (entry way). Regarding Caskets and Urns The Church will provide a pall (covering) for the casket or urn. If applicable, when the casket enters the church the flag or ensign pennant of the branch military service in which the deceased served shall be removed and replaced by the pall, which is the sign of a Christian’s Baptism. The Pall is the only decoration that may be used on the casket or urn. At the end of the service, after the body is processed from the church, the pall shall be removed and the flag or ensign replaced for the grace side/interment. The liturgical color for funerals is white. White is the color used for many of the great feasts of the Church and symbolizes the joy of the Resurrection. The frontal on the altar, the hangings on the lectern, the pall on the casket, and the minister’s vestments are all white. The paschal candle, which is lit at Easter, baptisms, and funerals, is placed by the body to symbolize the presence of Christ and the victory of light over darkness.

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Of things not provided There are several items that are common to funeral services that are usually provided by the funeral home or set up by the family. St. Joseph’s has no way to provide these and it is best to double check with the funeral home while making arraignments to determine if they provide these items and services: • A guest book for those showing their respects to sign. • A memorial display (these can be set up on a table in the undercroft) Service Music All music for the service must be selected from resources approved by the Episcopal Church and be appropriate to the service. As an aid in that endeavor, an index of first lines is attached. Since the time to prepare and play at a funeral service is in addition to the time contracted with the organist (and since, on occasion a substitute is required for a funeral), a $150 fee is paid directly to the organist by the family or through the Funeral Home. (our organist is Mrs. Sandra Disney. If a substitute is required, the check can be made out to St. Joseph of Arimathea, with “funeral music” in the subject line and we will take care of the arraignments with the substitute). Columbarium Our columbarium is located in a small chapel at the back of the nave. Families or individuals may reserve space there for the internment of their ashes. [Note: At present, all niches in the columbarium are filled or reserved.]

Planning Checklist
FIRST: Contact the priest near or immediately after the death. It is helpful and important to contact the parish priest when a loved one is near death or as soon as possible after the death, so he may pastorally assist the family in responding to the death of the loved one, in making decisions, and to prepare for the funeral service. The Priest of St. Joseph of Arimathea is expected to officiate at all worship services in the church, unless permission and invitation has been extended to another clergy person.

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SECOND: Make arrangements with a Funeral Home. A commitment of the time and place of the service should not be given to the Funeral Home without the express agreement of the Priest of St. Joseph of Arimathea Episcopal Church. The following decisions are made by the family or friends of the deceased: • selection of a casket or urn, • arrangements for interment or cremation, • the Funeral Director will help prepare an obituary and place it in requested newspapers. • the Director will take care of parking arrangements with appropriate police agencies, if necessary. • Funeral Homes also offer a variety of other services and their personnel will offer helpful suggestions, such as driving the immediate family to the church service and the graveside. THIRD: Plan the funeral service with the priest.

Funeral Information
Full Name:____________________________________________________________________ Date of birth:________________________ Baptized:___________________________ Officiant____________________________ Date of Death_______________________ Confirmed__________________________ Assisting Clergy_____________________

Rite I (traditional English, BCP 469) ______ or Rite II (Modern English, BCP 481) ______ Holy Eucharist: Yes______. No _____. If yes: Within Burial Rite _____ or Family only______ Where will the service take place: Church ____ Funeral Home ____

With what funeral home will the arraignments be made? ___________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

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Music Within the service there are opportunities for the singing of two to four hymns. Please indicate your preferences. A selection of available music is attached. Hymns that are particularly appropriate for a funeral service include: Considered a favorite by many * Hymn Number 208 287 314 324 * * * 383 473 474 608 635 * 645 662 ** ** 671 680 687 Title Resource

The strife is oʼer For all the saints Humbly I adore Thee Let all mortal flesh keep silence Fairest Lord Jesus Lift High the Cross When I survey the wondrous cross Eternal Father, strong to save If thou but trust in God to guide thee The King of love Abide with me Amazing grace! O God, our help in ages past A mighty fortress is our God (not recommended for small funerals) Guide me, O thou great Jehovah My faith looks up to thee Just as I am 6

Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982

690 691 693

Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982

Considered a favorite by many

Hymn Number 694 707 708 42 69

Title

Resource

God be in my head Take my life Savior, like a shepherd lead us He Lives In the Garden

Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Hymnal 1982 Lift Every Voice and Sing II Lift Every Voice and Sing II

Readings and prayers One or two readings precede the Gospel, interspersed with Psalms. When only one reading is desired, it is selected from the New Testament options below. (1) The first reading is from the Old Testament or the Apocrypha. Choose one of the following: ________ Isaiah 25:6-9 (He will swallow up death for ever) ________ Isaiah 61:1-3 (To comfort those who mourn) ________ Lamentations 3:22-26; 31-33 (The Lord is good to those who wait for him) ________ Wisdom 3:1-5, 9 (The souls of the righteous are in the hands of God) ________ Job 19:21-27a (“a” means the first phrase in that verse) (I know that my Redeemer lives) (2) Psalm: 42:1-7_______; or 46 _______; or 90:1-12 _______; or 121 _______; or 130 _______; or 139:1-11 _______; (3) The second reading is from the New Testament. Please choose one. ________ Romans 8:14-19, 34-35, 37-39 (The glory that shall be revealed) ________ I Corinthians 15:20-26, 35-38, 42-44, 53-58 (Raised in incorruption) ________ II Corinthians 4:16-5:9 (Things which are not seen are eternal) 7

________ I John 3:1-2 (We shall be like him) ________ Revelation 7:9-17 (God shall wipe away all tears) ________ Revelation 21:2-7 (Behold, I make all things new) (4) Choose a second Psalm: 23 (King James Version) _______; or 23 (Prayer Book Version) _______; or 27 _______; or 106:1-5 _______: or 116 _______.

(5) The Gospel (Usually left to the discretion of the officiant or guest preacher): ________ John 5:24-27 (He that believes has everlasting life) ________ John 6:37-40 (All that the Father gives me shall come to me) ________ John 10:11-16 (I am the good shepherd) ________ John 11:21-27 (I am the resurrection and the life) ________ John 14:1-6 (In my Father’s house are many mansions)

(6) The homily/sermon: the priest will preach on the Resurrection and our hope in Christ. (7) The Apostles Creed may be said. This is the ancient baptismal creed and reminds us of the faith of the Church and the deceased. (8) The Lord’s Prayer (which is omitted here if there is to be communion). (9) The Prayers of the People: page 480 in Rite I _______ or page 497 in Rite II _______. (10)Additional Requests or Comments: ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ 8

____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________

Additional Information/Participants
Time & place of visitation:________________________________________________________ Time & place of funeral service:____________________________________________________ Name of Florist:________________________________________________________________ Celebrant/Homilist:______________________________________________________________ Organist:______________________________________________________________________ Reader 1:______________________________________________________________________ Reader 2:______________________________________________________________________ Prayers:_______________________________________________________________________ Acolyte:_______________________________________________________________________ Chalice Bearer:_________________________________________________________________ Names of Ushers and/or Pall Bearers: _______________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ Burial _____ or Cremation _____

Place of Interment (Or, where will ashes be scattered, if so desired): ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ 9

Honorariums: Often these are automatically included by the funeral home in the overall funeral cost, however, this is not always the case, so please check with your funeral home to determine their practice. For Priest: Fr. Jody does not believe in or accept honorariums for pastoral ministry. If you would like to do something, please consider making a donation to the ministry of St. Joseph of Arimathea via the Priest’s discretionary account, which goes to provide for the relief of those in need. If the Funeral home includes this in their fee (some do, some don’t), please let them know you would like to see the donation directed toward the Church. For musician: Our Organist, Mrs. Sandra Disney, receives a fee of $150 for funerals. She does work in the educational system however, and may not be available for all service times during the school year. If another musician is required due to scheduling or other unforeseen circumstances, that fee will go to secure a substitute. A simple bulletin (8.5 x 11, folded in half, like our Sunday bulletins) will be reproduced by St. Joseph of Arimathea. If you desire a keepsake or full-text bulletin, this should be discussed with the priest and arraignments made with a professional printer so that the church can provide a digital copy of the service to them. Other Helpful resources: Purchasing caskets and urns can be daunting and expensive. Below are some relatively affordable options for simple wooden caskets and urns. http://www.monasterycaskets.com/ http://www.trappistcaskets.com/ The prices for handmade wooden caskets begin at $1000 and the prices for urns begin at $250. Trappist Caskets also offer reduced cost caskets for children. See attached price list for details. The Funeral Rule: According to the United States Federal Trade Commisson's recently established "Funeral Rule," a funeral home or mortuary may not refuse or charge a fee to handle a casket or urn that a consumer purchases elsewhere. Fortunately, there's a federal law that makes it easier for you to choose only those goods and services you want or need and to pay only for those you select, whether you are making arrangements pre-need or at need. Professional funeral providers will have no problem receiving a casket or urn from Monastery Caskets. Monks of the community have used this service for deceased family members and

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report no difficulty in arranging the use of a monastery-crafted casket. All the details of the purchase and delivery are handled by the monks with the selected funeral provider. Since a funeral is a major expense for most people, it is to understand to understand your consumer rights when you approach funeral planning. The Federal Funeral Rule makes this much easier by spelling out what the funeral provider must disclose so as to help the consumer make an informed decision about the services and products they choose to buy. You, as the buyer, have the right to choose only those goods and services you want or need and to pay only for those you select, whether you are making arrangements pre-need or at need. The Funeral Rule, enforced by the Federal Trade Commission, requires funeral directors to give you itemized prices in person and, if you ask, over the phone. The Rule also requires funeral directors to give you other information about their goods and services. For example, if you ask about funeral arrangements in person, the funeral home must give you a written price list to keep that shows the goods and services the home offers. If you want to buy a casket or outer burial container, the funeral provider must show you descriptions of the available selections and the prices before actually showing you the caskets. Many funeral providers offer various "packages" of commonly selected goods and services that make up a funeral. But when you arrange for a funeral, you have the right to buy individual goods and services. That is, you do not have to accept a package that may include items you do not want. According to the Funeral Rule: • You have the right to choose the funeral goods and services you want (with some exceptions). The funeral provider must state this right in writing on the general price list. If state or local law requires you to buy any particular item, the funeral provider must disclose it on the price list, with a reference to the specific law. The funeral provider may not refuse, or charge a fee, to handle a casket you bought elsewhere. A funeral provider that offers cremations must make alternative containers available.

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