150 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets Increase sex life, passion and intimacy in the bedroom.

Welcome to my love making tips I'm very sure that if you are here is because you need some tips on how to make better love. Isn't that what we all look for? Well, I just pointed out some tips in this page, just some pointers, but don't forget that your imagination has a big part in this too.... Have fun! For the Ladies Always try to be sexy or look your best for your man. They like to come home and see a beautiful sexy woman waiting for them. Tell him how much you love him very softly and sexy. Then take him to bed, insinuating what you are waiting for. Take off his and your clothes with an intrigating and sexy look. Seduce him... Give him a massage and ask him where would he like to be carressed. Whenever you are making love, always tell him how you feel about it. For example: Encourage him and tell him how and where it feel good. For the gentlemen Come home with a rose, and seduce your woman with it. Without saying a word, start kissing her neck, and carry her over to the room (or where ever you want to make love). Ask her where would she want to be carressed. Take it slow, why would you want to spoil a romantic mood? Always make sure to ask her how she feels, and tell her what would you want her to do to you.

Notice that I underlined the words talk, tell, and ask. The point of that, is to emphisize that wherever there's communication, there is for sure good love making. So guys, get ready to start talking your way up to love making!!! Touch of a Soul Giving thought of the idea to touch you and feel you in my arms, gives me a reason to keep loving you in my heart. And the idea of making love to you will be a granted wish that will enhance the whole idea towards true love. There is no way our deepest passions will ever cease while we keep having hot and desirable sexual urges which leads to increasing senses that attract out bodies to get closer everytime we see each other. Passionate love making may seem like a far off memory that only occurred for some when they were young teenagers full of unfulfilled sexual energy. Now, you’ve

grown up. You’ve started a family and a career. You have other obligations to take care of. Your life may seem great until you realize that you can no longer have passionate love with your partner anymore. Here is some common passionate love making tips that almost any couple can use. Passionate Love Making Tip #1: Surprise your significant other. If your wife is cooking breakfast one morning, come up behind her and slowly begin nibbling her earlobe. This sudden, unexpected affection can make your loving making experience as wonderful as ever. Women can do this too. If your husband is watching a sports event on TV, sit down beside him and begin rubbing his thigh slowly. He will quickly forget that it is second and three to go, and will turn his attention towards you. Passionate Love Making Tip #2: Set the mood. Lighting scented candles around your bedroom can be a very easy way of setting the mood. Also, put on some passionate love music. Make a mix CD with you and your lovers favorite love tracks and play it on a loop. You don’t want to interrupt what you’re doing to go and change the disk. Bring in a bottle of champagne with two slim glasses. You can also bring fruit into the bedroom to help arouse partners. Apples and bananas typically don’t work. Try a bowl of cherries or chocolate covered strawberries. If you don’t have fruit on hand, try just plain chocolate, nature’s aphrodisiac. Passionate Love Making Tip #3: Appreciate each other. You cannot have passionate sex with anyone that you cannot stand the sight of. Compliment your partner on a daily basis for little things. Men should tell women that they like their new hairstyle or pair of shoes. Women should tell men that they look good or that they have lost a few pounds off that fat tire. After all, who would want to sleep with someone if they are not sure if their partner is attracted to them? Passionate Love Making Tip #4: Know when to have sex. As stated earlier, unexpected sex can be great but how do you jazz up guaranteed sex? Birthdays, anniversaries, promotions, or even make up sex after a fight can be great love making experience. Some people decide to put of that set of intercourse for another day because of many reasons. Do not do that. If it’s your birthday, have sex that day. Don’t put it off. In fact, putting off a love making session only puts off pleasure. Passionate love making can be achieved in these four easy steps. If these tips do not help you have more passionate love making, try something of your own. Don’t be afraid to ask around to family, friends and neighbors. They can be more helpful than you would think. Here is a list of four very helpful tips on passionate love making and how any loving couple can achieve the feeling of euphoria they once felt for each other. 30 BEDROOM BOREDOM BUSTERS 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. Share your deepest fantasies with each other. Kiss with your eyes open.. Extend your foreplay time... considerably. Play truth or dare but keep your questions steered towards the topic at hand. Make love by only candlelight. Try ice... Spend $100 on lingerie. Take a bath or shower together. Write a sensual love story about you and your partner. Leave it for them to

10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30.

read. Use whipped cream... Stay the night at a hotel with a hot tub. Make it a point to touch every inch of your lover's body. Learn more about aphrodisiacs. Give your love a sensual massage. Buy a few love making technique books and read them together. Compliment your love on how they look and while making love. Do a strip dance for them. Spend a day teasing your partner. Make love somewhere other than your home. Experiment with different types of kisses. When your love comes home, take control and make love to them right there. Share a bottle of champagne while laying on blanket in your backyard looking at the stars. Wash your partner. Leave hidden sensually, teasing notes where they will find them. Experiment with food during foreplay. Kiss every part of their body. Christen each room by making love in a new room every night. Try one new thing in the bedroom a week. Pick up your lover wearing only a trench coat. Fix your hair, makeup, etc. Go to bed with only a pair of high heels on

7 Lovemaking Mistakes That Couples Make and How To Avoid Them Did you know that people who try to spice up their lovemaking, often make their experiences LESS fulfilling? It’s true. Over the years, I've seen couples make the same mistakes over and over again, when trying to improve their love lives, and I'd like to teach you how to overcome and avoid these problems. Here are the 7 lovemaking mistakes. Are you making them? Mistake #1: Feeling scared or embarrassed to talk about trying new things Have you ever had an idea to spice up your lovemaking but were afraid of what your partner may think? Believe it or not, in 90% of cases, your partner would LOVE to try something new, too, but they're just as uncomfortable or embarrassed about bringing it up as you are. And you don't need to introduce whips, chains or a third person. That's nonsense! There are hundreds of ways to bring variety to your passionate play that aren't crude or dangerous and that your partner is sure to be comfortable with. Mistake #2: Trying to convince the partner to make love If your lover is tired or not in the mood for sex, trying to convince or persuade them to have sex almost NEVER works. On the other hand, when a person is sexually aroused, their body releases the chemical 'adrenaline' into the bloodstream. This chemical is what gives you the energy to make love. So here's how to arouse them the right way. Yes, even if they're tired. Ladies: Want to get him in the mood? Give him fellatio or manually stroke him between 9 –10 in the morning. This is when his testosterone levels are highest for

the day. For better results, also wear something sexy or nothing at all. He'll like that. Lads: Deep passionate kisses are one of the biggest 'turn-ons' for women. Looking in her eyes and touching her face while kissing her can really increase arousal, too. And give some attention to her neck––it will drive her wild. But don't rush this! Spend quality time building up her arousal with your sensual kisses. Mistake #3: Neglecting foreplay to enjoy intercourse sooner People in a relationship (especially men) tend to neglect foreplay so they can begin to enjoy intercourse sooner, but did you know that foreplay is actually said to intensify orgasms? That's right. If you kiss, caress and touch longer, you can make your lovemaking even more satisfying. So SLOW DOWN. Take your time. If you want to make it even better, tease your partner in a playful way. (This works like crazy.) If you find something that they really enjoy, stop doing it, move back, and then do it again later. The more you pull back and push forward, the more they'll want it. And the more intense their experience will be. There are many games you can play to heighten this anticipation, too Mistake #4: Using toys or porn to make your lovemaking better When sex hits a rough patch, many couples (men especially) think that a video, some plastic or vibrating thing will instantly takes things through the roof. Wrong!… While toys can certainly have their place in your lovemaking repertoire, relying on them can be extremely dangerous. These outside sources of pleasure can quickly make lovemaking even less fulfilling. Why? Because you don't want your partner to end up looking forward to their plastic toy for pleasure more than they look forward to pleasure with you, do you? Couples need to first fully discover how to please all their spouses' body parts before introducing other elements. Use them as a spice, not the main course. Mistake #5: Trying to make the woman orgasm ONLY from intercourse Men often feel "unmanly" if they can't satisfy their woman from intercourse. But what they need to understand is that a large number of women can't achieve orgasm through normal lovemaking. Just knowing this takes the pressure off men completely. Now there's no need to get upset when their women don’t reach orgasm. Instead, men should master the art of cunnilingus (going down on a woman). Mistake #6: Trying to “finish” at the same time Simultaneous orgasms are quite overrated. Instead of aiming for one orgasm that you share together, focus completely on the woman’s needs first. Hold off from the positions you find most enjoyable and instead make love in ways that are most pleasurable for your lady, until she is completely satisfied. That way you have a much greater chance of both climaxing. Mistake #7: Sticking to a “set routine” too often

You know the drill. You take your clothes off, insert part A into part B, and, within a few minutes, the routine is over. Sound familiar? No matter how fantastic lovemaking can be, there’s no denying it can get boring over the years. And the reason is because lovemaking in its basic act is always the same. But the danger is letting it get “too routine,” which can begin to affect your relationship. The BEST WAY to protect your love life and precious connection with your partner is to have lots of new lovemaking ideas ready at your disposal. That's the secret. In fact, when you have an abundance of NEW tips and techniques ready, you’ll enjoy more hot, steamy and passionate lovemaking, discover newfound enthusiasm to make love and even make love more often. How To Give a Handjob Giving a great handjob is as much about making a connection with your partner (whether it’s a long term relationship or an anonymous quickie) as it is about a specific technique. Handjobs shouldn’t feel like work, but at the same time the best handjob givers tend to have a certain amount of pride in their craft. Thinking of yourself as a crafts person (which, I guess, means “penis” is your clay?) seems fitting, since a really great handjob is way more art than science. Below are some tips both scientific and artistic, to guide you in the development of your craft. Time Required: Two minutes to two hours, handjobs can usually fit into any schedule. Here's How: 1. Know your audience. When it comes to sexual stimulation, men are not all the same. They have different likes and dislikes in the kind of stimulation that works for them, and different handjob histories (those with painful histories maybe fearful or cautious even when approached by the most loving hands). It doesn’t hurt to know a little before you get moving. A casual conversation (not right before or during sex) about each of your handjob pasts can yield some important information. And if you’re uncomfortable asking what he likes directly, other ways are explained below on how to gauge what works and what doesn’t. 2. Whatever you do, start slowly. Because every guy is different, knowing the latest move isn’t always going to work. What’s more important is a handjob that brings enthusiasm and adventure… PLUS the ability to start slow and pay attention. As you touch him, pay attention to your pressure, the speed of the stroke and where you’re touching. At the same time, pay attention to what’s going on for him. Is he making happy noises? Is he moving his body? You can also solicit simple feedback during the handjob (“You like?” or “You want more?”), although too much talking or too many questions can get distracting. 3. Male genital anatomy and you.

A familiarity with the fundamentals of male genital anatomy can help both in the specifics (such knowing where there are lots of nerve endings and where there are fewer) and also in a general way, it might give you greater confidence going in. Some areas, like the base of the penis and the shaft are less sensitive. Others, like under the head and the scrotum, are more sensitive. 4. Handjobs aren’t just about the penis. It may be the lead actor in the drama, but supporting characters, like the testicles and scrotum, can steal the scene for some guys. These areas, along with the perineum, can be sensitive to touch and pressure, particularly once a many is aroused. You can tickle them, run your nails along them, tap them gently. You can also put your middle finger and forefinger around the top of the scrotum (making sure that you just have skin between your fingers, no actual balls) and then slowly and gently tug down, away from the body. 5. Wetter is better. Because guys don’t lubricate enough to create any kind of noticeable wetness, adding external personal lubricant is an absolute must for a great handjob. If the lube is only for the handjob and you’re not planning on relying on condoms immediately afterward, oil-based lubricants really are the best as they don’t dry up and can actually add to the experience. Some products (like Stroke 29, Men’s Cream, and Boy Butter) are specially designed for this purpose, but in a pinch any water-based or even silicone-based lube will do. 6. How giving a handjob is like reading a story. Like most good stories, a handjob has a beginning middle and end. There are no rules about these being equal or being a certain length. You may want the handjob to end when you’re both ready to have another kind of sex, or you may want it to end with an orgasm and ejaculation. But thinking about giving a handjob as if it’s like telling your partner a story can help keep you tuned into two crucial elements of a good handjob -- pacing and connection. 7. Building up, coming down, getting off. Keeping a good pace during the handjob is crucial. In most cases, you want to start slow (with lots of light touch and teasing), building up to a steady stimulation, and then intensifying to the point of orgasm. Stopping in the middle, starting to fast and rough, or trying to use light stimulation after you’ve been stroking hard for a while, probably won’t work. There is no formula for the right pacing, but experiment and pay attention to your partners response (such as deeper breaths, more moaning, increased body tension) and let that be your guide. 8. Making contact. What separates a handjob from masturbation is both the excitement of the unknown, but also the fact that it’s someone else giving you pleasure. Maintaining a tight connection between you and your partner during a handjob will exponentially increase the quality and satisfaction. Whether it’s making eye contact, allowing yourself to make noises, or touching other parts of his body with a free hand (or other parts of your body), anything you can do to attune yourself to his experience will help you focus on the pleasure of the moment rather than think about what you’re going to next. 9. The shape of the hand. Depending on your range of motion, you can use your hands in all sorts of

different ways for stimulation. Try these: Use both your hands, fingers extended and palms opened, to stroke the penis. Put your index finger and pinky finger a bit over your middle and ring finger, making your hand into a cup-like shape. Position your hand lengthwise on the penis and explore how it feels to use the heel of your hand for stimulation. The skin on your hand differs throughout, and you can use this difference to explore alternatives to the simple grip. 10. Using your fingers. Your fingers can change the feeling of the stimulation and the pressure you apply. Instead of wrapping all your fingers evenly around the shaft of the penis, try using only the thumb and index finger. See what happens when you slowly add more fingers and more pressure. You can also use the tips of your fingers to tap gently along the shaft, on the scrotum and the perineum. Depending on his comfort and interest, you can use your nails (remember some spots can take a lot rougher stimulation than others). When using a lot of individual finger stimulation, be sure that your hands are well lubed. 11. Try different styles of strokes. The standard up and down stroke can be effective, but it can also get boring and quickly lead to over-stimulation. Experiment with different kinds of strokes. Use a twisting motion while moving up and down, roll the penis between your palms, alternate short strokes at the base of the penis with short strokes at the tip. Start with short strokes and gradually make them longer. Instead of moving up and down, just stroke up and away from the body. 12. The squeeze. Some guys really like a firm grip around their penis and will love a combination of stroking with gentle, but firm squeezing up and down the shaft. Usually it’s more like pumping your fist (as if milking a cow…sorry I know that’s not very sexy) than it is like a prolonged squeeze required to open the lid off a jar (again, not so sexy, but I’m at a loss for a better visual metaphor). As a general rule, most guys won’t like the feeling of squeezing directly of the testicles, although stimulating the area can be great. This bring us to our next point. 13. Adding vibration. If you’ve talked about sex toys with your partner, a handjob can be a good time to introduce a vibrator into your sex play. Start off with just your hands, and without stopping the physical contact gently bring the vibrator into the picture. Don’t move it directly to the genitals. Instead, let him feel the vibrator on his legs and belly, on his inner thighs, and then slowly let him feel what its like on his penis. You don’t need a vibrator specifically marketed for men: Any hard plastic vibrator is perfect for first-time experimentation. Read more tips on using vibrators for men. 14. Pulling it all together. It can be fun to experiment with the above ideas, and more on your own. But don’t worry about trying to do several things at once, or even during one handjob. Remember the goal of a handjob is to give pleasure to your partner and the benefit of this method is that you have a lot of room to tune into his pleasure. Some people find that kind of connection to be arousing, others like the feeling of control, some people love it because they know it’s going to come back to them. Whatever your reasons, a good handjob is, in the end, about making that connection

and having fun. Tips: 1. Learn from a master. One of the best ways to get a baseline handjob how to is to ask that your partner masturbate for you. If he is shy, you can suggest he wear a blindfold (it may sound kinky, but it really helps). Watch the kinds of strokes he uses, where he is stimulating himself the most, and the pacing he uses from beginning to end. 2. Avoid over-stimulation. With too much friction and rough stimulation, the penis can become overstimulated and essentially feel a bit numb. When this happens, it’s usually difficult for the man to ejaculate no matter how much stimulation you provide. It can be hard to know where the line is, and it requires a bit of communication, particularly if he feels like what you’re doing is too vigorous. Some men may not be aware of when they’re getting to that point. So asking about it during non-sex time may be a good way of getting him to be more aware of it and hopefully communicate that to you. Techniques One of the secrets of great manual sex is varying your hand motions. Here are a few indispensable techniques: SWITCH HITTER Use both hands, alternating back and forth in a pattern you develop to offer him the most arousal. He will notice the difference. Don't get into a routine where the strokes are dull, and noncommittal. Give it to him good. Get him to the point where he's singing out, "I second that hand motion!" DOUBLE WHAMMY How about going double or nothing! Bring both well-lubricated hands down on his shaft. Some cocks are so big they require both hands. If your partner's doesn't, then use the other hand to caress and lightly flutter his balls, or tighten around the base of his shaft. If both hands fit along the length of the shaft, move then together, up and down, in the typical pumping motion. Pretend you're holding a baseball bat and are about to score a grand slam. You can also vary the directions of your hands, one up, one down at the same time. There's no doubt that two hands are better than one. THE ANVIL STROKE Bring one hand down, letting it stroke the penis from the top all the way to the bottom. When it hits the bottom, release it. Meanwhile you're bringing your corresponding hand down to the top of the shaft, creating an alternating beating motion, hence the name "anvil stroke." Think of those blacksmith duos who keep up a double beat pounding motion as they beat that rod of iron on a piping-hot anvil. THE SHUTTLE COCK Not many people have heard of the "shuttle cock," but it's one of the best. Take the penis in both hands, fingers lightly touching the sides of the shaft. In order to visualize the position, think of yourself holding a clarinet. Now flick the penis back and forth between your two hands by holding on to the loose skin of the shaft. Shuttling it back and forth in this manner may not seem incredibly thrilling to him at first, but pretty soon, as it builds up momentum, it will drive him out of his mind. Orgasms encountered via this method are sometimes messy, but always memorable. THE BOOKENDS

Place both of your hands side by side against his shaft like a pair of bookends. Now push hard against his penis. Then lift your hands up and down. Continue in this manner for a while. The constant tugging of the skin around the balls and the mons pubis will do the trick. THE FLAME Place your hands down on either side, your fingers pointing away from the cock. Pretend you're a campfire girl and start spinning his pecker like a stick of wood. This way you'll keep the home fires burning for a long time to come. THE BASE CLUTCH Tighten your thumb and forefinger around the base of the shaft, pressing down on the balls. This will cut off the blood (acting as an impromptu cock ring) and help you steady the shaft in your hand. If the skin on it is slick and immutable, you can stroke the penis with more friction, thereby enhancing the excruciating experience. THE LOVE TUG As you are stroking him, lightly pull on the wispy strands of pubic hair sprouting from his testicles. Don't pull so hard that you remove them, but tease them gently, lovingly. This will make him holler with delight and awe at your inventiveness. THE TWO-TIMER Tickle his balls with one hand while the other jerks him up and down. THE THIGH-SWATTER Use the hand that is currently unemployed to firmly but lovingly pat his inner thighs. BEST FIST FORWARD Place your fist against his perineum as you're stroking him. He'll probably start opening his legs a little wider, giving you more space to press against. Guaranteed to drive him wild. THE MILKER Opposite of the Anvil - Hands alternate 'milking' up the penis, starting at the base and working all the way up past the tip. THE PERPETUAL PENETRATION Like the Anvil, but rather than just grabbing the penis at the top, let his penis 'penetrate' into your fist on each stroke. Before the head of his penis pops out of your hand, bring the other hand up for the next penetration. This way it seems to him like he is penetrating deeper and deeper into an infinite vagina. Make sure you keep the penetration continuous for best results. Try faster or slower to taste. THE PALM SWIRL Use your open palm to swirl around the head, the way your tongue would lick an ice cream cone. This sensitizes the head, and will make it get larger and turn (even more) red. Try reversing direction for a surprise. TINY CIRCLES As in "The Palm Swirl", use your open palm on his glans, but stop at each "hour of the clock", and make circular motions with your open palm. This will make this part of the head EXTREMELY sensitive, so move to the next hour after a few circles.

THE RING Make a ring with your thumb and forefinger, and pump up and down with this ring. When you get to the top, close the ring, then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom. THE DOOR KNOB Turn the head of his penis like a you're trying to open a door knob coated with grease. It won't turn, but he may flip. Now try turning the other way. Repeat. THE SHAFT Stroke only his shaft, ignoring the head. You will notice it swelling and turning red. When it's bright red and rock hard, use the Door Knob, the Palm Swirl, or the Perpetual Penetration. THE SPOT PINCH Lightly and slowly run a finger up the under side of his cock. Ask him to tell you where the most sensitive spot is. Pinch it, squeeze it, nibble it, tease it. This is a good spot to pinch to turn a soft cock rock solid. As always, it is the psychological impact of what you are doing that makes the sex so satisfying. Let your mind escape into the uncharted wilderness of fantasy. As a sexual pioneer, it is your manifest destiny to explore the outer limits of your sensuality. Many men love oral sex. They can just lie back and enjoy it, or watch their lover while her tongue glides over something very precious (the same is true for gay men). And for a woman, giving oral sex to a man can be extremely sensuous, sexy and pleasurable. (Oral sex on a man's penis and testicles is known as fellatio.)

Often men complain about not getting enough oral sex, so as a woman I can offer some tips about maximizing your chances: the one thing you should never do is to hold your partner's head and control it in some way as you might have seen in porn movies. If your partner is giving you oral sex she will want it to be very different to what you see in porn movies. Oral sex needs to be something your partner offers enthusiastically and freely, so hands off and no attempt at control (unless your partner specifically requests it). Additionally, offer plenty of oral sex to your partner as a way of getting her to reciprocate. Tell her how much you enjoy her giving you oral sex and that it really turns you on. Positive reinforcement works. (And although gay men will experience fellatio differently from a heterosexual couple, the principles are the same - talk, offer, give freely, and respect what your partner wants.) Safer oral sex

Oral sex or fellatio is a high risk behavior for the transmission of STDs and HIV. If you are not sure about your partner's sexual history, practice safer sex during fellatio by using a condom or a dental dam (This is a thin sheet of plastic used by dentists if they have to isolate a tooth during root canal work. Some doctors recommend it as protection for cunnilingus, fellatio and anal stimulation). Any infections you may carry in your mouth can be passed on to your partner's genital region - including herpes.

Giving oral sex to a man Oral sex - why is it so good for men? As a man oral sex might be a real treat to you as it doesn't involve lots of physical exertion the way genital thrusting can do. This can allow you to relax and really tune into your body rather than get caught up in performance anxiety and the need to perform. Many men would enjoy sex more if they yielded to the feelings in their bodies more and just enjoyed the pleasure, pure and simple, without expectations or anxiety. If you're a woman, giving your male partner frequent oral sex can be a good way of supporting his sexual development.

Oral sex is also great for men as it doesn't require an erection and will still be experienced as pleasurable without it. Sure, oral stimulation may be experienced as more intense with an erection, but a man will still have a fantastic time during fellatio even if his penis is not hard. It follows that if your man loses his erection during oral sex it doesn't mean it's not pure heaven to him. Sometimes women may simplistically equate an erection with how much they turn their partner on, but this actually puts a lot of pressure on men to have erections: the fact is they can be perfectly aroused and enjoying themselves even when their penis is taking a little break. A lot of men get worried when they lose their erection during oral sex: that's part of the performance standard they set themselves. The truth is - it happens. And it doesn't matter! If you're a woman giving oral sex to a man whose erection has faded, and you're wondering if he still wants you to continue giving him oral sex, just ask him. He may be very turned on at this point, but erections have a will of their own and can come and go, especially in older men. Don't simply stop or feel disappointed, because what you are doing might be just great for him. You can often get his erection back by using your hands for a little while to give more intense pressure and friction. Then there is the whole issue of swallowing semen or not swallowing if your man ejaculates during oral sex. Semen often doesn't taste so good, and one can often taste certain foods in the flavor of semen - not all of them pleasant. Some men feel so embarrassed about this issue that they don't allow themselves to orgasm during oral sex and so avoid the issue altogether. It makes sense to talk about the swallowing issue beforehand. As the giving partner don't feel you have to do it one way or another. Your male lover won't experience any different physical sensations whether you end up with his semen in your mouth or not. Once a man has reached the point of no return and his orgasm is triggered it doesn't matter much anymore what you do with the semen. As the giving partner, make giving oral sex as comfortable and pleasurable to yourself as possible. If you are uncomfortable about the semen, avoid it. This will result in you feeling happier with oral sex and result in him ultimately getting more pleasure in the long run. I am sure he'll be pleased about that and will want you to be comfortable about it too. The visual impact of receiving oral sex can be a real turn on to men: Seeing your lover give you a blow job may be as exciting as feeling it. Men are visual beings, and if you want to maximize your lover's enjoyment of oral sex and you feel comfortable with it yourself, keep in mind what views you present to him. Feel free to be a tease. Oral sex is one of the sexual practices which is easier to give to a man with a smaller penis. A smaller penis is much more comfortable in the mouth of the

partner and allows for more pleasurable play. So for any men out there who have issues about their size, remember that your body was first and foremost designed for oral sex! Stimulating a man with fellatio

When stimulating a man sexually with your mouth, tongue and lips, there are certain golden rules. Vary the stimulation to maximize how he responds to it. To find out exactly what he likes you need to get him to communicate or show you. The best thing to do is to ask him. Maybe he's willing to tell you during oral sex what feels great or perhaps he'll make sounds that indicate when it's really hitting the spot for him. Wetness will also feel great to men, just as it does for women. And pacing is important. Really take your time, make yourself comfortable and allow whatever happens to happen without putting pressure on him to reach orgasm or even to have an erection. Giving a man fellatio can include licking his penis top to bottom, sucking at the tip, licking his balls, taking his penis into your mouth as far as is comfortable to you, pressing your lips around it...and more. All of these things will feel great to a guy. If you want to know more precisely what he enjoys, and when, ask him. As the giver you will need to be comfortable with whatever you are doing. That includes being able to breath and relax your jaw from time to time, and not to choke if you are taking his penis into your mouth. You will also need to avoid hurting him with your teeth if you are taking his penis into your mouth. All of this is much easier if you slow down and take your time. It will help you as the giver if you are relaxed and do whatever you are doing in your own time. Remember that most men feel like they don't get enough oral sex, so don't rush. If you slow down and make yourself comfortable and stimulate him at your own pace he'll most likely enjoy it all more (and for longer!) If you do want to stimulate him more strongly during oral sex you can do so by using your hands as extras - and not by going faster. This will give you more options and allows you times when you can lie back and watch while still stimulating him. Using your hands also opens the possibility of stimulating his balls and perineum (the area between the scrotum and the anus) while you continue to give him oral stimulation on his penis. One of the things that really turns some men on is fellatio combined with manual stimulation of their anus. It is possible to stimulate a man's prostate directly by inserting a finger into his anus and gently pressing towards the front of his body. However, it is really OK if you are not comfortable with this type of stimulation, either as the giving or the receiving partner. But if you are interested in giving it, check out with your lover first whether he wants a little bit of extra stimulation of his anus during oral sex and use plenty of lubrication. Make sure the finger you have used does not come into contact with his penis later on to avoid infections through displaced bacteria. He says: I suspect a lot of women don't really understand how much oral sex means to a man. Yes, it feels good, but then so does vaginal penetration, and in some ways what it feels like is not the most important thing about oral sex. You see, vaginal penetration and oral sex have different meanings attached to them. While it's always a bad idea to generalize, I'd say that for most heterosexual men, vaginal sex reinforces their sense of masculinity, while oral sex makes them feel loved and accepted by their partner. It's such an intimate act, and the fact that a woman is willing to take a man's most precious possession (his penis!) into her

mouth and give him pleasure in this way represents proof that she loves and accepts him. Those women who won't do this are possibly missing the significance of this act to their men: certainly, in my experience of working with men, this is the one sexual act that is appreciated more than any other. And as to the swallowing versus spitting debate, I'd have to say that I take issue with Anna. I think there is more physical pleasure and emotional fulfillment to be gained from the fact that a woman is willing to have a man's penis in her mouth as he ejaculates (it's the same issue as before - acceptance of him at the most fundamental level); and even if she spits his semen out, that is more satisfying for him than if she moves her mouth away as he starts to come. But of course this is entirely a matter of choice, and if you do wish to avoid getting semen in your mouth, then move your lips away as he starts to come and bring him into his orgasm with your hand, well lubed, wrapped around his penile shaft. If you're not currently trying oral sex in your relationship, then it's worth discussing it between you and establishing how much this matters to you both. That way you may be able to find a compromise that suits you both. Giving oral sex to a woman A lot of women love oral sex. Even so, they may feel embarrassed about accepting it or asking for it. What makes oral sex so appealing for women is the combination of wetness, direct clitoral stimulation, tenderness and the overall sexiness of it all. And oral sex is great for stimulating a woman where she'd do it herself if she masturbated (mostly on her clitoris)......and wetness also has a real sexual attraction for women as it's like getting wet through natural lubrication. That's sexy because "getting wet" is a woman's equivalent of that obvious symbol of a man's arousal - his erection. If you're talking about using your mouth or tongue to stimulate a woman's genital area, you're enjoying "cunnilingus." Health issues and safer sex First off, an important caution. Never blow air into a woman's vagina as this can cause serious medical problems. Also, oral sex is still a high risk behavior for the transmission of STDs and HIV. If you're not sure about your partner's sexual history, practice safer sex during oral sex. That said, it seems as if giving cunnilingus to a woman is considered less of a risk than performing the same for a man, i.e. fellatio, although doctors still advise safer sex principles for cunnilingus. How do you get started with oral sex? If your female lover isn't so sure about oral sex, give her time to explore it. That means you should keep offering it and take your time when she does accept. She may not experience an instantaneous orgasm (few people do, so please scrap all those expectations and take what comes - pun intended!). In fact, a woman may never experience an orgasm this way at all, but oral sex may still be her favorite because she really enjoys the delicateness and sensuousness of it. Give her plenty of time to relax into it. I must stress how important being relaxed and having time are for a woman during oral sex. It can be time spent tuning into her body, feeling all kinds of wonderful sensations without pressure or stereotypical expectations of how things will progress. But, if the reticence on her part remains, here are some more tips: keep telling her how much you enjoy giving her oral sex. Anybody who desires a woman will know how delightful getting close to a woman's genitals can be: in fact getting your face right in there might be pure heaven for you. However, women themselves may not feel that way about their vulva and the area around it. They may think of the area as "down there", see it as potentially dirty and messy, and even be ashamed

of its fluids (blood especially). A woman may not realize at all that you are actually enjoying giving her oral sex and get really turned on by it. Keep telling her that you do enjoy her body this way and that she really turns you on. This will help her feel more relaxed about her body and her sexuality. If embarrassment is a factor you could also start off with oral sex in the dark. This allows her to relax, close her eyes and really feel her body. It means you can't see her facial expression, which can allow her to relax more fully and experience all her feelings without having to check whether they seem appropriate (i.e. she's not trying to please you!). Some women struggle to connect with the sensations in their whole pelvic region. For them oral sex may be less enticing as the sensations may feel too remote and distant to be experienced as exciting. If your lover has a tendency to "go away in her head" and disconnect from her body then genital intercourse which includes full body contact may allow her to connect more with her body and may be experienced as more satisfying. However, you can create a more connected feeling during oral sex by making sure your bodies are still in contact in some way, for example by holding on to her hand, or cupping her face in your hand (bit of a contortionist's trick required here from you, so that probably won't be comfortable for very long). She may also experience more connection with the rest of her body and with you if she is under a blanket, in her clothes or in a bath. Feeling the boundary of one's body more clearly through skin sensations can increase overall connectedness and sensuousness. For oral sex to feel good both men and women may need to practice "letting go", which isn't always easy. Again, it's all about practicing. Keep offering oral sex as a way of supporting your partner with her sexual development. If she says no then that is also OK and shouldn't be a big deal. At least it is mentioned and you know oral sex is part of what the two of you could perhaps be doing together one day even if she doesn't want it right now. Keep working on the quality of your day to day relationship because that always has an impact on your sex life. See whether you can talk to her about how things are generally going between the two of you. More tenderness, appreciation and freedom between the two of you could really help to create the conditions under which both of you can explore your sex life more fully. Pleasuring a woman with cunnilingus We all want different things from sex, so it's impossible to make generalizations about what exactly will turn your lover on. To really know what she likes, you need to ask her, or find a non-verbal way for her to communicate when things feel really good to her. Overall the experience of oral sex is made up of different components: where you touch her, i.e. vulva, clitoris, urethra or any other part of her body, how wet it feels to her, how much pressure you apply, how fast your rhythm or pace is, whether you lick, suck or caress and how warm your touch feels. Additionally, the longer the stimulation lasts the more the erectile tissue in the clitoris, vaginal entrance and vagina itself will get engorged with blood. With the swelling of the tissue any stimulation may be felt differently by a woman compared to before. Therefore, touch which may have been experienced by her as "too much" early on may later on be experienced as "exciting" as her body becomes ready for stronger stimulation. While giving your partner oral sex you have the benefit of being close up so you will be able to see and feel the change in her genital region. although it may still be quite subtle. Be aware that her preference for different kinds of touch may change during your sexual encounter. Remember what feels best to her in the right sequence, so next time it's even

better for her. Oral sex can be given in various positions. You could have her lying on her back with you between her legs, or she could lie on her front or side, or even sit or stand up. But the giver - that's you, either the man in a heterosexual relationship, or the woman in a lesbian relationship - also needs to feel comfortable during oral sex. Try experimenting with different positions, but also get comfortable yourself. If you are comfortable with the position you're in you can get into it more and will be more inclined to take your time - which will make it better for your partner. At some point you may also want to include using your hands to touch her as this adds to the sensations of oral sex. Again, her preferences for stimulation may change with time. Manual stimulation as well as oral may provide that extra kick for her as you can apply more pressure with your hands. When using your hands to touch a woman's vagina you need to consider lubrication. Some women may provide a lot of lubrication naturally so that when you touch her sensitive areas there will be no friction, just gliding. Other women don't produce so much lubrication and may enjoy a little bit of extra help. Although oral sex will feel wet due to your saliva, this may still not be enough lubrication for her when you are using your hands. Saliva is quite watery and has not got the same consistency as vaginal fluids. Therefore consider the use of some extra lubrication on your fingers when touching her during oral sex. Never use oil based lubricants do not go with latex barrier methods such condoms or dental dams. One of the things that really turns some women on is cunnilingus given while you play with their anus with a finger. However, it's perfectly OK if you are not comfortable with this type of stimulation (either as the giver or the receiver). But if you are interested in giving it, check out with your lover first whether she enjoys a little bit of extra stimulation on her anus during oral sex. If you do go ahead, use plenty of lubrication. Additionally, make sure the finger which you use for anal stimulation does not come in contact with her vulva or vagina later on as this can result in an infection of her vaginal area. Lastly, if you happen to be a man with a beard giving a woman cunnilingus it may include some pleasant extra sensations too! He says: Ah yes, cunnilingus. The most intimate act of love between a man and a woman - and very exciting for most men, whose obsession with the vagina never ends from the first time they enter one. There is nothing as sweet as being able not only to feel your lover's vulva, but also to taste and smell it. Women worry about the scent of their genitals, but mostly without reason - men find it incredibly exciting! I guess the only exception would be if you have a vaginal infection or you haven't washed recently. Otherwise, a man will be aroused as he tastes his partner's vaginal fluid beginning to flow, as her scent changes during their lovemaking, and as he feels her clitoris becoming more swollen and her vagina changing in texture as she becomes more aroused or reaches orgasm (or not!) Unfortunately, many men find this so arousing that they cannot last long if they enter their partner after giving her an orgasm through oral sex - but this may not matter much if the she's orgasmed from the cunnilingus. If she hasn't had an orgasm, then intercourse gives a couple the chance to extend their intimacy. Finally, for many women, cunnilingus is a good way to experience an orgasm that might not be so easy to achieve during other kinds of sexual pleasure. It certainly is a good way for a man to ensure his partner achieves orgasm if she

isn't able to come during intercourse (as most women are not). And if you think your penis is too small to give pleasure to a woman, then become an expert in oral sex, which she may well find more rewarding than intercourse! The only other observation I'd add is that you, the man, aren't really responsible for a woman's orgasm: don't take it on as though somehow it's your job to get her to orgasm. You can't "give" a woman an orgasm - though you might be able to help her find her way to it! Foreplay Main Tips: * * Sex takes energy and time. Make sure you've got both (if not, change your life!). * * * Don't be afraid to say "no." If you can say "no" to your lover, you'll be able to give him or her a much more enthusiastic "yes" when you're up for it next time. He says: Good foreplay is based on sensitivity. You need to be sensitive to your lover's needs, to what will turn them on, to what they want from your lovemaking. And this won't be the same each time you make love. But unless you're both burning with sexual desire, and happy to have a "quickie", it's almost certain there'll be a difference in how quickly you both get turned on and ready for intercourse. We know that, on average, it takes between ten and twenty times as long for a woman to become aroused as it does for a man. This means that for the first twenty minutes or so of lovemaking, a man may be erect and ready to enter his partner, while she'll most likely just be warming up. She says: I agree with Rod on this, women need time to get going, both physically and emotionally. Foreplay can be a time of slowly matching your rhythm to your partner's, but it can also be a time of play-fighting and teasing. Additionally, foreplay doesn't start with the first touch, or the first kiss, it might start with a phone call at lunch time or a shared knowing look. Women like to be wooed. Find out what your partner responds to: more time together, emotional closeness, or flirtatiousness, gifts, practical help or a bit of passionate disagreeing. Same for your man. OK, he might respond much quicker to your advances than you as a woman might to his, but feel free to seduce him anyway, even if he doesn't need to Oral sex always seems to be a brilliant option. Be creative. What really does turn you on? Take your time! Women need much more time then men to get going. Foreplay is really good sex in itself. Don't be afraid to make it so.

be. There's a good chance you'll both have a great time if you try! I think part of why it takes women so long to get going is that we tend to always be multi-tasking. So while we're juggling the washing and tomorrow's demands in our heads, it's easy for us to leave our bodies behind and not notice that we're feeling quite sexy. Women need some time to switch off all that noise in their heads! Of course you could help a bit by doing that boring task she's got in mind for herself tomorrow morning! Additionally, it's really important that both of you can say no to the other's advances without fearing that there will be bad feelings or a week of silence and moodiness. Sex only works well if you don't feel pressurized into it, whether that's by your lover or yourself. He says: We also know that a woman's vagina can be moist and apparently well-lubricated long before she's psychologically ready for her man to enter her. The way to deal with this discrepancy is to have good foreplay. What good foreplay means to you may be very different to what it means to other couples, and indeed to you each time you make love. Even so, good foreplay always involves sensitivity, kissing, touching, and establishing a close rapport with your partner. She says: Be curious about how many different ways the two of you can find to get going. Even if one approach works some of the time, it may well get really boring really quickly if that's all you do! And men, remember women are fairly visual too, so look after your body, all of it, not just your favorite bit, because there's a good chance that looking at your body will turn her on. He says: Men are just as sensitive to touch on their skin as women are, but a couple's foreplay will very often center on the man touching the woman. If this is how it usually works for you, it's important to remember that most women resent a man heading straight for their breasts or vulva. It's only through gentle touch on her non-sexual areas that a woman will become aware of her desire to be touched sexually. If you're kissing, remember that most women see kissing as an extremely romantic act. But kissing doesn't have to be limited to the mouth. There's great fun to be had in finding out which areas of your partner's body are most sensitive to your lips and tongue. For example, try kissing your lover's stomach, back, shoulders or feet. You can gradually work round to kissing each other on or near the penis, testicles and vulva – but in the latter case only when she's sexually aroused. She says: I can understand if men get fed up with doing all the active bits in foreplay all the time. Don't be afraid to ask your partner to touch you, and she'll probably offer you what turns her on: a slow, sensuous, full-body massage. Take your time to enjoy it. This could also be a great way for men to lose their performance anxiety and other pressures around sex. He says:

Kissing a woman's breasts is likely to be very arousing for her – many women say it feels as if there's a direct connection between their nipples and their clitoris! Once again, however, sensitivity and gentleness are appropriate in the early stages of your lovemaking. You can use a firmer pressure and touch as you both become more aroused. And it's always important to remember that a woman will probably want the warm embrace of her lover's mouth on her clitoris only when she's getting quite aroused: in the early stages of sex, a direct touch on her clitoris can be too intense to be pleasurable. As a man, your focus should initially be on gentle caresses of your partner's labia, thighs, stomach, and pubic mound, but always adapted to what you know she enjoys the most. She says: I think one can't repeat that enough: women need to be touched all over first. Don't go for the sexual parts of her body first, there's a good chance that she'll just get turned off by it. Sexual parts also include breasts. Take your time before you touch them. Many women feel quite vulnerable when it comes to their breasts (too big, too small, too floppy), so give your lover some time to settle into the sense of arousal in her body first. He says: Good communication is essential for good sex. Unfortunately, many couples find it difficult to express their wishes desires during sex. Yet, in this most intimate of acts, expressing what you like and don't like is vital to achieving sexual pleasure. A good way to communicate is to gently guide your partner by giving them positive feedback when they're doing something you enjoy. For example, if you're a woman enjoying oral sex from your man, but he's not touching you where you'd really like to be touched, you can say something like, "That feels good, but I like it even more when you kiss around my vagina. And it feels even better when you keep moving your tongue all over rather than just focusing on my clit." Above all, try to avoid saying anything that sounds critical to your partner – he or she'll be working hard to please you, and even if they're not doing it the way you want, the only way they'll know how you like it is if you tell them. Of course, if you prefer, you can communicate this without saying anything simply by moving your body. For example, if you're a woman enjoying the sensations as your lover gives you oral sex or masturbates you, and you don't want to speak, try pressing your vulva more closely against his mouth or fingers, or giving a moan of enthusiasm and pleasure – all these things will tell him what he needs to know. She says: Ditto! Communication is everything. Quite often women need to be much clearer about what they want, as their sexual responses are more complicated and unpredictable than men's. Women: there is a good chance that your lover is really wanting to please you, but simply doesn't know how, because he can't read your mind. Don't leave him in the dark! He says: Men enjoy sexual play that focuses on their penis, whereas women are more bodycentered. It's therefore natural for a man to assume that his partner will appreciate attention to her vulva and clitoris, and while this may well be true,

she'll also appreciate his attention to her breasts, thighs, buttocks, stomach, neck and especially the area around her anus and vulva, which can be exquisitely sensitive to sexual stimulation. Since bacteria from the anus can be easily introduced into the vagina, if you do enjoy anal play, it's wise to ensure that you use different toys or fingers for anal and vaginal contact, whether or not this involves penetration. She says: I really agree. Go with a variety of touch from stroking all of her body, to a firm, full-on body squeeze, to licking, kissing, eye contact and verbal communication. However, just as Rod says, be careful around bacteria and anal play. Most women will be very protective around their body entrances and it'll certainly be on her mind where your hand or finger has just been, even if it's not on your mind. I'd rather suggest being a bit over-cautious here, rather than just assuming it's OK. Make sure she knows that you are mindful of this, otherwise this could be the end of your sexual encounter. Oral sex for her He says: Oral sex has been described as many women's favorite sexual activity in survey after survey. This may be a challenging thing for men to accept, because male pride often depends on being erect and enjoying intercourse. But while it's true that many women really enjoy having their man inside them, only a small minority of about twenty percent will ever be able to reach orgasm in this way. Many more women can easily reach orgasm through oral sex. In fact, combining the soft warmth of your tongue and lips with the delicate touch of your fingers is likely to give your partner some delightful sensations that can lead her to a powerful orgasm. She'll certainly appreciate gentle and loving caresses to other parts of her body like her breasts while you give her pleasure in this way. Try experimenting with your tongue – move it around her vulva and the opening to her vagina, finding the spots where she's most responsive and sensitive. If you sense that she's approaching orgasm, you can apply a more direct pressure to her clitoris with your finger. She says: Good oral sex for women needs a lot of communication both ways. Women may really enjoy oral sex, but feel ashamed about wanting it or they might need extra reassurance that their lover really enjoys giving oral sex to them. I think the fact that men enjoy it is something women need to mull over for a bit before they can comprehend it - and, yes, it really does turn him on! So, men, keep showing her that you are enjoying yourself, and let her know that you are doing this as much for yourself as for her. How women like oral sex is a very individualistic thing. Again, give her time to get aroused especially if you want to use your fingers too. Some women like a lot of pressure, but only on the vulva and not near the clitoris; others like soft stroking or sucking plus maybe manual stimulation of the G-spot inside the vagina. Take your time to explore her reactions and don't feel afraid to ask for feedback. Also, give your lover some time to practice receiving. A lot of women aren't too good at just lying back and losing themselves in their own bodily sensations. But

again, all women are different and any generalizations will probably be disproven by your lover! He says: Keeping a rhythmic movement going is important. Unlike men, who want harder and faster stimulation as they approach orgasm, most women prefer to have an even and regular tempo right up to the moment when they begin to come – then slightly harder pressure can tip them over the edge into orgasm. Another very good reason for incorporating cunnilingus – that's when the man licks or kisses his partner's vulva – into foreplay is that when a woman has already enjoyed an orgasm during oral sex, she'll be more aroused and ready for penetration. And if she's already had an orgasm, it may matter rather less to her if her man as a tendency to ejaculate quickly after he inserts his penis into her vagina. She says: I am sure most women won't mind if their partner ejaculates quickly if they've had plenty of time beforehand to come through oral sex. In fact this set-up makes the whole panic men seem to have about coming too quickly rather unnecessary. He says: Although women can experience multiple orgasm much more easily than men, not all women will want you to continue touching their clitoris and vulva after they've reached orgasm. For some women, the clitoris is extremely sensitive at this point, and touching it can be unpleasantly intense. Other women, however, will enjoy further touch and possibly enjoy another orgasm as well. Although oral sex is undoubtedly extremely enjoyable, some women have doubts and fears about the sight and scent of their bodies which may prevent them from relaxing and enjoying it. But what most women don't know is that very few men are anywhere near as critical of a woman's body as she herself may be. In particular, the scent and taste of her vulva is likely to be extremely arousing to a man: indeed, we've heard men refer to the vulva as a "honey pot", which is a good reflection of how sweet and delicious this part of a woman's body can seem to a man's senses. She says: I think that's really key, that women are very critical of their bodies and that their vaginas are often associated with sticky and smelly fluids that are embarrassing and need to be hidden. Menstruation really doesn't do us many favors in this respect. You need to let your lover know, repeatedly not just once, that you enjoy giving her oral sex. Foreplay and her orgasm He says: Foreplay is often said to begin outside the bedroom. In fact, you can start making love hours or days before you even enter the bedroom. After all, foreplay is also about making your partner feel loved and cherished, like he or she is the most special person in your life. Sex isn't just about orgasm: it's also about bonding

as a couple, feeling good about pleasing your partner, knowing that your partner wants you to be sexually fulfilled, and simply reveling in the sensuous side of your masculinity or femininity. She says: Women do enjoy passionate sex too! Sex for women doesn't always have to be cuddly and soft, so don't feel like it's always got to be nice, romantic and soft. However, I think one needs a secure and reliable relationship to let the darker passions emerge in a healthy way. All women are different, but very few are all angelic inside!

He says: But as a man you may be frustrated by the fact that your partner doesn't always reach orgasm. You may even feel like a failure, or somehow think that it's your fault. In fact there's no need to feel this way, for in reality many women don't know before sex whether or not they'll be able to reach orgasm. This probably seems very strange to a man, who is almost always going to be able to come – sometimes without much stimulation at all! But there's nothing unusual about this. A woman's sexual response is much more dependent on her emotions, thoughts and feelings that her partner's is likely to be. Women, for example, are often shocked to find that their partner expects sex after an argument. For a woman, feeling emotionally connected to her partner, feeling loved and cherished, and being able to relax, are all important elements of reaching orgasm. She says: Please guys, don't feel responsible for your partner's orgasm. It's OK for her not to come, she might not want to and that's really OK. Additionally, she can help herself to it through masturbation if she feels like she wants it. It's not your responsibility to "make her" come. Just relax and chill out about it. He says: Men tend to be more focused on results than women, so it can be important for a man to know if his partner has actually had an orgasm. But asking questions such as "Did you come?" or "How was it for you?" can put up barriers between a couple. It may not even be very important to a woman whether she has an orgasm or not. She may simply enjoy the closeness and intimacy of sex without feeling the need for an orgasm. She says: See! Just let the whole orgasm and achievement thing go!!! The world will be a better place for it. He says: In one survey which we conducted, two-thirds of women said they had faked an orgasm or lied about having one - usually so their partner didn't feel bad! While it's understandable that one partner should want to avoid hurting the other's feelings, this isn't as useful as open and honest communication would be. It's probably better to say that you couldn't reach orgasm and then tell your partner how you feel about this than to see it as something from which you have to protect

him. Another good idea is to have a discussion about what might help you reach orgasm the next time you have sex, while being honest about the things you liked and didn't like about your lovemaking. On those occasions when a woman isn't able to have an orgasm, she may feel a bit frustrated and express this frustration in a way that makes her partner feel unjustly criticized. Once again, good communication can help to overcome this problem. She says: Actually, if she is frustrated, I certainly wouldn't say it's OK for her to take it out on him! I think you are a bit too lenient here with the ladies, Rod. If she is frustrated she might as well help herself to what she wants and I am sure you guys won't say no to offering a little assistance here and there. Most women have a perfectly good time masturbating on their own, no there's no need to give a man a hard time over sexual frustration. Oral sex for him He says: When we asked men how they felt about oral sex, the results were, predictably perhaps, very enthusiastic! Most men had a hard time choosing whether vaginal penetration or fellatio, where a woman takes her partner's penis into her mouth, was their favorite sexual activity. What's very clear, though, is that it's incredibly important to most men that their partner is willing to give them oral sex, even if she doesn't want him to come in her mouth. Men seem to see fellatio as an act of total acceptance of them and their penis - which probably reflects how important a man's penis is to his sense of maleness. She says: Basics first: please look after your favorite piece with plenty of soap and water. And relax and let her be in control. Women can enjoy treating their lover too. He says: If you're a woman, you'll probably know how important oral sex is to most men. However, unless you enjoy it, or you enjoy seeing the pleasure your partner gets from it, you should never feel under any pressure to do something you don't like. If, for example, you don't like the taste of semen, then let him withdraw his penis from your mouth before he comes, and bring him off with your hand. If you're worried that you don't know how to give him pleasure, try a variety of moves with your lips and tongue, watch his response and then concentrate on the moves that give him most pleasure. And although men are generally very penis centered during sex, they'll really enjoy having their testicles gently fondled or licked while you give them oral sex. She says: Men are quite different with respect to how much stimulation they want on their penis. For some men soft oral sex is heaven, others want a bit or even loads more pressure. Women, feel free to use your hands too. A good way of learning about what he wants is to watch him masturbate. It will give you a good idea about what kind of stimulation he goes for. In general, older guys will need more stimulation than younger ones and I suspect women tend to err on the side of softness rather

than too much stimulation. He says: One aspect of oral sex that may be less exciting in real life than in fantasy is the "sixty-nine" or soixante-neuf position, where both partners give oral sex to each other at the same time. You may find that cunnilingus and fellatio are much more enjoyable if you can just lie back and enjoy your partner's attention without having to worry about pleasing them at the same time. She says: I agree with the point above. A 69 position needs more practice in relaxing and receiving. However, you need to hang in there and just practice more to get the feel for it. A 69 position might be better for you if you like having full body length contact with your lover, especially if you have a tendency to drift off in your head. He says: By the way, it's common for a man to lose his erection during foreplay, even if he's giving his partner cunnilingus. A lot of men seem to worry about this, but it's a completely natural thing, and simply reflects the ebb and flow of sexual energy during foreplay. A firmer touch from his partner's hand or mouth will soon restore a man's erection. She says: I think it is really important for men not to stress about losing their erections. As Rod says, erections come and go during the longer sessions of sex and more stimulation normally brings them back in no time. The only thing to keep in mind is that your lover might need to know you are still enjoying yourself even if your erection goes for a little while as she might interpret this as you having lost interest. Let her know you are still as ardent as before, hard erection or not. Men and foreplay He says: Sadly, sometimes foreplay can seem boring, perhaps even tedious, to a man. The truth is that if you're able to focus on giving your partner sexual pleasure and your intention is to arouse her, you'll find that her arousal will feed back to you and make you even more aroused. This will eventually lead to a fantastic orgasm rather than just a good one when you do eventually come inside her. She says: If you don't enjoy foreplay, ask yourself why. If it is boring or hard work for you then something is wrong with the way you are going about it, rather than foreplay itself. Mostly, sex and foreplay become boring when they are repetitive and always the same. Try something new instead or talk to your lover what you might rather do instead. Keeping foreplay interesting might not be as easy as it sounds, but it's essential for sex to stay exciting. He says: One of the great pleasures of foreplay is being able to enjoy sensuous skin-to-

skin contact with your partner. Take the time to look at each other too, for the visual stimulation of each other's naked bodies can be a real turn-on. Savor your kisses, and take things slowly. This can be especially important for men, who may become so aroused that they desperately wish to move straight to penetration and ejaculation. But the longer you extend your foreplay, the greater the volume of semen you'll produce when you do eventually ejaculate, and this in turn will make your orgasm and ejaculation feel much more powerful and satisfying. She says: Some delaying and waiting can be rather sexy, don't you think? He says: There are no set rules about foreplay. The normal ebb and flow of sex can lead you naturally from one type of foreplay to another. For example, undressing each other may be a matter of urgency on the way to the bedroom, or it may be a slow sensuous process which extends throughout your foreplay. Similarly, kissing can be something you enjoy at any time during foreplay. By the way, it's always important to be comfortable, so shifting position every so often to avoid a crick in the neck or any aching limbs during cunnilingus is a very good idea. (Of course, that's true during fellatio as well!) She says: Feel free to take the pressure off. When you go with the flow, foreplay may not always develop into penetration. It will adjust itself to what feels right between the two of you at that point. It allows you to be really present rather than having to perform. If you are really keen your ardor will communicate itself to your partner. Sometimes things might not work out the way you want them to, but there will be other times when you think that sex couldn't get any better. If there are regular issues between you and your partner when it comes to sex, talk about them! Other thoughts for great foreplay! He says: By introducing new and different pleasures into your foreplay, you can help to keep your sex life fresh and exciting. This may be as simple as kissing your partner's feet, or it may involve giving him or her a massage. You may want to try using sex toys, dressing up in sexy clothes or acting out your secret fantasies and desires in the safety of your bedroom. This is a great way of acting out fantasies that you might not be able to bring into the real world. But if you are exploring your sexual fantasies with each other, remember that trust is an important element of a loving relationship, and take care to respect whatever your partner reveals to you about their secret sexual desires. She says: I agree, trust and communication is everything. If you want to have a passionate sex life in a long-term relationship you need to work at sex, and work at the relationship. He says: As we said before, sensitivity is essential to successful sex. Knowing what your partner likes, understanding what's important to them, and being able to explain

to your partner what you like in a way that's neither critical nor demanding is essential to a good sex life. For the most enjoyable sex, it's important that a woman feels loved and cherished, and kissing each other either gently or passionately, as the mood dictates, and saying romantic and loving words to each other, will all contribute to a better sexual experience for you both. We tend to think of sex as an experience that involves penetration and penile thrusting. But there are plenty of other ways that a man and woman can achieve sexual intimacy and fulfillment. For example, intimate touching and caressing is a very bonding experience, and plenty of touching before the moment of penetration can increase both partners' arousal so that when they do reach orgasm it's more powerful and satisfying. As a general rule, men become aroused much more quickly than women, and it's easy for a man to overlook a woman's need for intimate touch. A man should think of a woman's whole body as an erogenous zone or a sexually sensitive organ. In this way, he'll avoid focusing too much on her vulva until she's sufficiently aroused to enjoy this touch. About penetration - advice for men and women He says: Men should understand that it's important to respect a woman's need only to be penetrated when she's both physically and emotionally ready. One sign of this is a gentle wave-like motion of her hips – if you see this, it usually means that she's aroused enough that she's ready for a more intimate connection. Also, as a woman becomes more aroused, she'll begin to want to feel her man inside her. Her desire to be penetrated will be as great as her partner's desire to penetrate her. As you work towards this moment of intimate connection, a finger gently inserted into her vagina will reveal how aroused and lubricated she is. One view is that a man should always ask his partner if he may penetrate her. Certainly there are times when this is a romantic and loving approach, reinforcing sex as an act of mutual love and respect. Equally, however, there are times in a loving, trusting relationship when a sense of "being taken" may be both exciting and highly desirable for a woman. (Sometimes in the foreplay leading up to penetration, a man's erection softens or even disappears altogether. This is quite normal – erections come and go during sex. All that's usually needed to restore firmness is a little more direct stimulation such as oral sex or the contact of his penis with his partner's vulva.) She says: Hopefully, women have moved on by now and will be active in signaling the point at which they want to be penetrated. It seems odd to leave that decision to the guy really. If you as a man are not sure what your lover wants, maybe you need to talk about this at a non-sexual time or during foreplay, so that you can feel secure in doing the right thing. For a lot of men the thought of penetrating a woman who doesn't really want them is abhorrent. I can understand that you want to be sure about this. He says: When you're both ready for penetration, let it follow on naturally from the preceding sex play. If a woman's vagina is lacking in natural lubrication, don't worry about it. This is something that can happen at any age - even when a woman is highly aroused. If necessary, you can simply add a little water-based lube such

as Probe, Astroglide or Sensitelle to your penis, her vulva, or the outside of the condom. By the way, a little lube can sometimes improve sex for you even when you don't feel it's necessary. Too much lube, however, can reduce a man's pleasure, much of which comes from the tightness of his partner's vagina around his penis. By the way, it's always essential to wear a condom if you're not sure of each other's sexual history. She says: Women like wetness. Don't be shy with the lube. He says: During any sexual experience, the moment of penetration can be extremely exciting for both partners. You may want to take it slowly, to savor the moment, to fully enjoy the exquisite moment as the male hardness enters the feminine softness, to experience the magic of a woman's flesh parting to allow her man's penis into her body. This is a true moment of sexual union and connection, and in a relationship of love and trust it can give satisfaction that goes beyond the purely physical. She says: Enjoy! And what if you just don't want foreplay? He says: One of the things that we sometimes forget about sex is that it doesn't always have to be pre-planned or involve lots of foreplay. You might decide from time to time to have "quickie" sex, that's to say sex without foreplay. There's no doubt that men especially can appreciate a quick orgasm without the need to have a complete session of lovemaking. If you do have such an arrangement, then it's a nice idea to also have a regular romantic evening, perhaps starting with dinner, to make love as slowly and luxuriously as you desire. Finally, don't forget that foreplay can always be an end in itself. We often think of it as the prelude to penetration and intercourse, but if you've both enjoyed an orgasm through oral sex or masturbation and you're feeling sexually fulfilled, you may not want to move onto intercourse. However, if you do, in the next sections of this website, we'll look at a variety of positions for making love and the advantages and disadvantages of each. Keep in mind that the essence of good sex is intimacy, communication, and being willing to find the ways in which you and your partner can get the most out of your lovemaking, not constantly finding new positions to try! She says: Variety is extremely important for sex. If you expand your sex life you won't get into a boring routine. Quickies can be extremely sexy for women, or what seems like a quickie can be the end point of a day of verbal foreplay and insinuations. Feel free to play! Quick sex, long romantic sex, passionate sex: they're all great, and they stay great if you keep mixing them. New Sex Positions Getting Creative with New Sex Positions

Sex Positions Tip #1 - Finding the Right Physical Position The most obvious part of any sex position is the physical position of your bodies. There are thousands of positions we can put our body into. Standing, kneeling, curled up in a fetal position, sitting with our legs spread open, with our legs crossed, squatting. Sex Position Tip #2 - Different Movements for Different Positions A good sex position isn’t just about how your bodies are arranged, it is a sex position that allows for the kind of movement you like in your sex. There are times you might relish a slow, even thrusting. Other times you might be in the mood for rougher, pounding sex. Sex Position Tip #3 - Adjusting the Angle of Penetration Many people lack important basic information about male and female sexual anatomy. The angle of penetration can change the way a sex position feels for everyone involved. It may stimulate one part of the body more, it might be more comfortable. Sex Position Tip #4 - Getting Your Arms and Legs into the Act When it comes to sex positions, we can focus too much on the genital connection, and ignore the fact that there is a whole body available for sexual stimulation. Arms, legs, hands, feet, can all be important players in an awesome sex position. Sex Position Tip #5 - Finding the Rhythm All the clichés about the “motion of the ocean” are true. Regardless of what sex position you’re in, regardless of how perfectly sized your partner’s penis might be, if there’s no rhythm, or if you and your partner can’t get in synch, the penetration probably won’t do it for you. Sex Position Tip #6 - Speed and Pacing I have a friend who says she can always tell when a new sexual partner has learned his technique from watching too much porn. Those guys think that all sex is, is five minutes of mind-numbing (and genital numbing) pounding. Of course these considerations aren’t really separate from each other. Take this example, You are penetrating your partner. They are lying down on their back, with their knees bent, genitals facing you. You are on your knees in front of them. If you lift up their legs and hook them over your shoulders, or if you just hold them in your arms, this changes both the angle of penetration, but it can also change the way you move. A Female Ejaculation Primer Female ejaculation is the g-spot's kissing cousin when it comes to "is it real or is it fake" medical debates. In one corner are the legions of doctors, who when asked, maintain that there is no way a woman can ejaculate. They point out that in their textbooks, and anatomy classes there are simply no structures to provide for this physiological experience. They say that if anything is happening, it's urination. In the other corner there are arguably larger legions of women, women's health practitioners (including doctors), sex activists, a few scientists, and thousands or tens of thousands of women who say that it does exist. There are no standards or rules for this. Some women are worried that they have incontinence and that they are peeing during sex, or specifically during orgasm.

Some women have always been "very very wet" during arousal and climax, and like the way they respond. Because of the increased attention paid in the popular media to female ejaculation there are many women who want to know more, and are interested in trying to ejaculate. The bottom line, as with all matters of sexual response and behavior is to avoid any sort of pressure to do something or experience something that doesn't feel right for you. If you do something that you think is ejaculating, and your happy with it, that's great. If you're concerned that you are "too wet" during sex, you should know that there is a very natural variation in the amount of vaginal lubrication that women produce, and getting wet is probably just a sign of healthy arousal. You can always have a towel handy if it's a real concern for you. And if you're interested in learning more about female ejaculation then you should go for it. Just try and avoid the pitfalls of performance pressure, and thinking that ejaculation is some magic bullet that will transform your sex life from humdrum to super fantastic. Of course it might do that, but counting on it is a sure way to miss important learning and experience along the way. Here are a few tips gleaned from the experts: 1. Empty your bladder first. The feeling just before ejaculating is similar to the feeling you have when you have to pee, but you want the urge to come on as a result of arousal and not a full bladder. 2. Practice in a comfortable place. Many writers suggest that one of the reasons women don't ejaculate is that they hold back when the feel the urge to "release". To deal with this worry, you can try to practice in the bath or while sitting on the toilet. The idea is to lose your fear around the possibility that you might pee. (This seems as good a time as any to point out that peeing is not the end of the world, and many women who experience incontinence deal with this all the time. In the face of hot sex and a great orgasm, a little urine shouldn't get in the way!) 3. Most people say that ejaculation will come on as a result of stimulating the paraurethral glands and/or the g-spot (urethral sponge). 4. Stimulating the g-spot for any length of time will be easiest to do with a dildo or vibrator. Any toy that is firm, or one that is curved for g-spot stimulation will do. 5. Use a lot of clitoral stimulation, but also stimulate your urethra by massaging inside the top of your vagina both around the opening and inside a few inches. Many women find urethral stimulation very pleasant in and of itself. 6. Keeping up the clitoral stimulation you may also want to try and stimulate the g-spot . Some women like g-spot stimulation, others find it too sensitive, or don't feel much at all from this type of stimulation. 7. Vary the strokes and the pressure and experiment with what feels good. 8. As you are doing this you may feel the urge to pee (along with feeling very turned on). This is the experience many women say happens just prior to ejaculating. At this point most of the instruction manuals resort to phrases like "go with the flow" and "just let it out". It's hard to provide specific instruction on how to "go with the flow". The best I can offer is to follow the above guidelines and experiment on your own. Make sure you have fun doing it, and that every time you try, you give yourself a wonderful orgasm whether you ejaculate or not. If you want to know more there are several books and videos devoted to the subject worth checking out. How To Find Your G-Spot The debate over the g-spot seems to never end. Does it exist, is it important, should it be talked about, does it have any usefulness? Definitive answers are

rare, so while the experts debate, why not do your own research, and get to the heart (or would it be gheart) of the matter. Many women can stimulate their g-spot using their fingers. Some people will find it easier using a toy that is curved, either a dildo or a vibrator. Time Required: You might find your g-spot immediately, or it could take several attempts. Don't pressure yourself. Here's How: 1. Avoid performance pressure about the "magic spot". People can become fixated on achieving a sexual goal (multiple orgasms, simultaneous orgasm, g-spot orgasms) One thing I can promise is that this is the best way to NOT enjoy any sort of sexual encounter. Remember that sexual exploration is mostly about the journey, not the destination (although the destination is better than most, I’ll agree). Try not to make this another notch in your “sexually self-actualized” belt. 2. Turn yourself on. Any homework that starts with this is bound to be somewhat fruitful. The spongy area around the g-spot gets engorged with blood when you’re sexually aroused, so it is much easier to find and feel when you’re turned on. 3. Get comfortable and find the g-spot area. Lie on your back, squat, or lie on your stomach. Place your palm face down on your vulva and slowly insert a finger inside your vagina (use lube if you’re feeling a little dry), crooking it forward in a “come hither” motion. When you’re up to about the second knuckle you should feel a slightly bumpy or ridged area on the upper wall of your vagina. 4. Notice how the g-spot feels. The texture of the g-spot area will likely be noticeably different from the typically smooth walls of the vagina. When you’re aroused it can expand, so feel it at different times during your arousal to get familiar with its contours and sensitivity. The g-spot responds to pressure, so press down and pull forward using that "come hither" motion with your fingers. 5. Explore the g-spot with toys. For some it can be awkward to stimulate the g-spot by hand. A g-spot vibrator or dildo can be a great helper in this. Apply a little lube to your toy, and insert it with the tip (if it’s curved) pointing up toward the top wall of your vagina. Work it in slowly, far enough (a couple of inches) so the tip is pressing against your g-spot. 6. Experiment with pressure and motion. Some women will find pressure against the g-spot pleasurable, some women like the feeling vibration when a toy is pressing against the g-spot. Experiment and see if either feels good for you. For most women, the g-spot responds to firm pressure. In the beginning, use your toy as if you were trying to scratch an itch— don’t pull the toy all the way out, but use short strokes, applying firm pressure, against the g-spot. 7. Vary the movements. A circular or back-and-forth motion may be necessary to get you started, but you might soon graduate to a more vigorous thrusting. If you’ve got a vibrator, try playing with the vibrations both on and off to see which you like better. 8. Add clitoral stimulation to g-spot play.

You’ll know you’re hitting the spot as you feel tingly sensations, the urge to pee, and an overall elevation in your arousal. When you feel the urge to come, stimulate your clitoris using your favorite method. Keep stroking your g-spot. 9. Let go. With continued stimulation, you’ll eventually feel a sensation much like having to pee. This can be quite disconcerting at first, and has probably led plenty of women to abandon the process, but if you stick with it you’ll be in for a pleasant surprise. You may or may not ejaculate, but ejaculation is perfectly normal (and it's not urine). 10. If you don’t at first orgasm, try try again. It can take several practice sessions before you notice any build up. Try varying your position, using a different toy, experimenting with breathing and kegel exercises (to strengthen your PC muscle), or having a partner help you. Because the g-spot is most responsive when aroused, you may also want to try stimulating it after you’ve had an orgasm. 11. Remember the ear lobe. Experimenting with the g-spot can be fun, and you never know what you’ll learn in the process. But try not to get hung up on this being a mind-blowing experience. If you’re playing around and it’s not doing anything for you, try something else, and know that there is nothing wrong with you, and what turns us all on is incredibly individual and unique. 10 Sexy Gifts to Give Your Partner Birthdays and care -- about sex therapist the fantasies holidays are great opportunities to let your partner know you really your sex life that is. According to Dr. Marvin Stone, a certified who practices in Houston, Texas, the key to erotic gifts is "to know of the person you are trying to turn on."

However, there is the potential of being too naughty. "A lot of thought has to be put into an erotic or sexy gift to work the best not just for you, but for both of you to benefit," Stone said. To help you out, here is a list of the top 10 sexiest gifts, guaranteed to make this a memorable season for any couple. * Massage oil. Massages stand alone in the world of sexiness. They are intimate and they give you the opportunity to touch the object of your desire the way that you want. Throw in a little oil and the temperature rises. Check out the wonderful products of Kama Sutra. For $30, you can surprise your lover with a gift pack of five Kama Sutra aromatic oils. They are non-greasy and sure to ease your partner's muscles and mind, among other things. * Poetry. It's the perfect gift for the guy or girl who appreciates a good verse. Good poetry can turn anyone's mood romantic and generate a night of lyrical passion. Andy Peccetti, 24-year-old engineering student considers Pablo Neruda's book of sonnets to be the sexiest gift imaginable. "Poetry can say so many things," he said. Paccetti says the gift is better if it is original, but what it communicates is what matters most. "Pablo turns me on and there's nothing better than shared appreciation," he said of the Chilean poet. Tip: Be sure that your swollen-hearted outpour will be appreciated. If your partner scoffs at the mention of rhyme, this probably isn't the best gift.

* The element of surprise. "I think that one should find any way to add surprise to a gift," said Sacha Bodner, a 23-year-old fellow at UCLA. "Lie, do whatever you have to do -- it's worth it," said Bodner, who once told his girlfriend that a cancelled flight would cause him to miss her birthday -- then he showed up at her window with an armful of roses. The element of surprise could come in handy when you're on a tight budget, too. A bottle of wine is only a bottle of wine until it is presented in a creative manner. * Get off free card. What do most people never get enough of? That's right. Write up your partner an IOU that can be traded in for a night of selfish passion from his or her favorite sex slave. No further explanation necessary. * Lingerie. Ah yes, the oldest trick in the book. If done correctly, this gift can do wonders for both the giver and the receiver. Sean Crowley, a 23-year-old criminology student, says lingerie doesn't have to be sleazy and uncomfortable to have an effect. "I once got my girlfriend a pair of little green silk pajamas. I hate underwires that I know can make a woman uncomfortable," he said. "I picked green because it was her favorite color and silk because it feels good against the skin. She opened the box, grinned from ear to ear and was wearing them five minutes later." For the not so conservative however, there are many options. Remote controlled vibrating panties are available at most sex shops for $90. The "discreet T-back panty" by California Exotic Novelties, comes in black leather and packs a crotch vibrator that can be activated from as far as 15 to 20 feet away. Now you don't have to wait until the Christmas party guests are gone to give your lady a little affection. Tips: Whether you decide to go Vicky or Vamp, don't be too scared of coming off as a perverted pig. There is no bigger disappointment than taking the lid off a Victoria's Secret box and finding a nightgown you might borrow from your grandma. * Art. You don't have to be Van Gogh to pull this one off. Paint, draw or photograph your favorite sensual scene or portrait. If your 7th grade art class skills are too scary to show even your parents, leave no room for humiliation and invest in body paint. Also available at most sex shops, this is an affordable and fun way to express yourself with your partner. Paint is made specifically for this and comes in a variety of flavors for about $10. * An erotic escape. Tickets for two to a hideaway bed-and-breakfast or to a cushy hotel are great ingredients for love. The atmosphere and scenery at these places creates a ridiculous amount of privacy, which allows a couple to let their hair down. There are thousands of little cottage-esque nests tucked away on the outskirts of big cities. Super sexy because of the pampered treatment and the seclusion, this is a sure-fire way to add some serious spark to a relationship. Tips: Check out the place before you pack your massage oil and kennel the dog. Your fantasy could turn into a nightmare if you're trying to look sexy under a leaking roof and swatting at pests. * Seductive songs. With the increasing accessibility of CD burners, it takes no time at all to whip together a music mix of seductive jams. A homemade cover of a sexy photo or a picture of the two of you is sure to send the vibe that you are interested in getting closer. Throw in the CD and really groove with your partner. * Lucky in love foreplay dice. Affordable and frisky, glow-in-the-dark foreplay dice have the potential to turn any night of the year into a sexual casino. All six sides are filled with words like "lick" and "tease," and can lead to an endless amount of foreplay fun. Available for only $6, this is gift that turns on when the lights turn off. * Magical mystery. Blindfolds don't have to be bad. Surprise your special

someone with a sleek pair of blinders that can be found at most sex shops for about $15. Pick a spot that has meaning, for instance the park where you first met or kissed, and revisit it. Tell your partner to trust you and drive he or she out to the location. Or just stay at home, wrap a scarf around your partner's eyes and let he or she wait in anticipation of what your next erotic move will be. Tip: Make sure your partner is comfortable with this before you put on the blindfold. 5 Steps to a Healthy Sex Life 1. Use a condom every time you have sexual intercourse. * Latex condoms offer the best protection against sexually transmitted infections for people having sexual intercourse. 2. Talk with your partners before the heat of passion. * Partners should care about each other and be interested in one another's pleasure, comfort, and health. * Be open. Let your partner know your health concerns and sexual health history, and encourage your partner to be open, too. * Be direct. Talk about your sexual needs and expectations. * Be persistent. Don't let your partner remain silent on these issues. 3. Keep medically fit. * Have a checkup for sexually transmitted infections every year. * Protect your immune system. Eat well, get enough rest, and limit your use of alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. 4. If you think you or your partner has a sexually transmitted infection... * See a clinician for testing, diagnosis, and treatment. * Find out if your partner(s) need to be examined and treated, too. * Use all the medication that is prescribed-symptoms often disappear before an infection is cured. * Do not take anyone else's medicine, and do not share yours. * Do not have sex until your infection is under control. 5. Stay in charge. * Alcohol and other drugs weaken good judgment and self-control. Don't let them jeopardize your self-control. Don't Let Embarrassment Become a Health Risk Many people find it very difficult to talk about their sexual health. Some even find it shameful. But discomfort and shame can get in the way of common sense. They can keep people from taking good care of themselves and their partners. Choose a clinician with whom you can be comfortable while discussing these issues. Keep yourself healthy by speaking frankly and openly with your clinician about your sex life and your sexual health concerns. Some clinicians don't ask-so take charge and speak up. Remember: Protecting yourself against sexually transmitted infections can reduce anxiety and make sex a lot more enjoyable. Reduce Your Risk...Use a Condom Every Time!

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