Price  1   Jenna Price Mrs.

Caruso ENGL1101 30 October 2011

Genre Recreation
The iPhone is very popular and several people may not know what the device is capable of doing. It is a highly intelligent piece of technology that needs very little improvement. When asked to change the iPhone 4 to a different genre it was a struggle because the iPhone 4 appears to be perfect. It seemed smart to recreate the iPhone into a text that presented itself to be just as smart, if not smarter. For the genre recreation, the iPhone 4 is a GPS. This presentation will not present the GPS, as well as the iPhone, and will advertise the iPhone by having the same characteristics as the GPS. It will be able to do the exact same thing as the iPhone, but the GPS part is highlighted making it the main topic. The things a GPS is capable of doing makes it almost as smart as the smartphone. Simply type in an address to the desired destination and depend on the GPS to get you there in the least amount of time possible. The GPS allows you to choose your desired routes, or it can be programed to always take you the quickest route. The GPS is smart enough to detect heavy traffic and reroute to a faster direction. For someone who attends a particular vacation spot often, but still struggles to learn the directions; type in the address one time to your intelligent GPS, press “add to favorites” and the address will never have to be typed in again. On every GPS there is a “home” button. Program the GPS to your home address and no matter the location, press the “home” button and the GPS will go straight back home. Young people need
Beth Caruso 11/14/11 8:11 PM
Comment [1]: Take  this  out.  You  should   not  include  references  to  your  other   assignments.  

Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:23 PM Deleted: The original text for the rhetorical analysis was the iPhone 4. This was the chosen text because Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:23 PM Deleted: t Beth Caruso 11/14/11 8:12 PM Comment [2]: Take  this  out.   Beth Caruso 11/14/11 8:12 PM
Comment [3]: You  repeat  “very”  in  this   sentence.  

Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:22 PM Deleted: The features of the smartphone were explained very thoroughly. Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:23 PM Deleted: very Beth Caruso 11/14/11 8:15 PM Comment [4]: You  already  did  it.   Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:26 PM
Deleted: going to be recreated into

Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:24 PM
Deleted: only

Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:24 PM Deleted: but Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:24 PM Deleted: too. It Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:25 PM Deleted: Beth Caruso 11/14/11 8:15 PM Comment [5]: This  is  quite  choppy.  Work   on  combining  the  sentences  and  giving  a   main  idea.  

Price  2   to become more knowledgeable about what exactly a GPS is capable of doing and how important it is to have one. Therefore, more attention needs to be brought to this talented device. With a GPS, getting lost is no such thing. The GPS presented in the short story will contain all of the same features that the iPhone 4 has except for the main function will be to give direction instead of a device to make phone calls. It will be quite smaller than your normal sized GPS and come in many different colors. This is brought to the audience’s attention because the iPhone can only be bought in black or white. This GPS that will be presented is the same size of an iPhone 4. The GPS is going to be presented through a short story. Dan, a young boy who just received his license, will receive a GPS for his sixteenth birthday. His parents struggled with what brand of GPS they should buy for Dan or if they should even buy one at all. Dan’s parents debate on whether or not he will value the GPS and actually use it or if it will be a waste of their money,A friend of the family recommended they buy one of his old GPS’ that he had in the basement before buying a brand new one, just to make sure Dan will truly use his GPS. Dan’s parents thought that was a brilliant idea. Dan is supposed to be attending a school event while all of his friends take off to the beach for spring break. Dan has no ordinary GPS. This particular GPS begins to speak to Dan and carry on a conversation. Dan is a bit freaked out at first. This GPS reads Dan’s mind and reroutes him to the beach! Slowly, Dan starts to figure out he can just tell the GPS where to go without typing in the address. Whether Dan is in a hurry or not, the GPS will already know! Dan tries multiple times to show his friends the “talking” GPS, but of course he looks somewhat dumb because the GPS will only speak for Dan. Eventually, Dan and his GPS become extremely close. It becomes a huge ordeal when Dan’s parents try to buy him a brand new GPS.
Beth Caruso 11/14/11 8:18 PM Comment [9]: This  paragraph  is  mostly   summary.  Split  up  this  paragraph  according   to  idea  so  you  can  discuss  each  at  length.   Beth Caruso 11/14/11 8:16 PM Comment [6]: Rather  than  concentrating   on  the  features  of  a  GPS  in  your  defense,   work  on  discussing  how  the  GPS  technology   is  featured  in  the  short  story.   Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:31 PM Deleted: A Beth Caruso 11/14/11 8:17 PM
Comment [7]: Rather  than  beginning  with   summary,  work  to  begin  your  paragraphs   with  your  main  ideas.  

Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:30 PM Deleted: Mentioned earlier in the paper, Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:30 PM Deleted: t

Beth Caruso 11/14/11 8:17 PM Comment [8]: Combine  these  ideas.   Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:31 PM Deleted: The boys name is Dan.

Price  3   Using a short story to portray the idea of the GPS would be more efficient because it would grasp the attention of the audience, making them more interested about the topic. By using a short story, the many ideas about the GPS can be creative and make the situation more enjoyable. Imagination is unlimited within a short story and the story can be fictional. You are really able to branch out and show creativity. The main audience for this short story is middle school and high school students. This is the chosen audience because they will just start to become familiar with driving if they haven’t already. The short story should be to their advantage. This short story will help students learn the importance of a GPS and become familiar with the features of one while providing entertainment as well. The TomTom is an extremely popular GPS in today’s society. Through personal experiences, the TomTom does not seem to give accurate directions. The fact that the directions are not given very accurately helped with the idea of what the short story is going to be about. The purpose behind the short story pertains to the GPS being somewhat unreliable. The short story is intended to be funny and of course, fiction. The GPS in the short story gives very accurate directions, but it might not necessarily be where you need to go. This very rare GPS reads minds and tends to carry on a conversation! Like I mentioned before, the GPS will have all of the features that the iPhone has, including making a phone call and playing games! The intentions that are expected of the short story is to let the students know that they can never get lost and how important it is to own a GPS. The viewers should expect to become more knowledgeable in knowing about a GPS when they finish reading the short story. They will also gain knowledge in the iPhone and learn how the features in the iPhone and the GPS are the same. Anyone who reads this short story should not expect every GPS to be like the one in the story. In reality, a GPS cannot read your
Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:39 PM Deleted: A short story was chosen for this project instead of a poster or any other form to present because this way it will be easier to catch the reader’s attention. Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:40 PM
Deleted: A s

Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:40 PM Deleted: fun Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:44 PM Deleted: There is no need to be completely honest in a short story, either. Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:44 PM Deleted: use imagination Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:37 PM Deleted: With a poster, the only thing to do is draw a picture and that becomes difficult to get the main point across to the audience while trying to catch their attention as well. Beth Caruso 11/14/11 8:20 PM Comment [10]: Look  through  this   paragraph  to  find  what  doesn’t  belong  with   the  idea  of  a  short  story.  Once  you  take  that   out,  work  on  giving  your  ideas  more   succinctly.  This  will  help  with  transitions  as   well.   Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:48 PM Deleted: is a type of GPS that is on the market, today. Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:50 PM Deleted: It Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:52 PM Deleted: This was detected through personal experiences. Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:52 PM
Deleted: . A

Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:52 PM
Deleted:

Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:53 PM Deleted: can still be made and Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:53 PM Deleted: games can still be played! Beth Caruso 11/14/11 8:21 PM Comment [11]: Although  you  see  the   ideas  in  this  paragraph  relating,  the  way  you   present  them  does  not  allow  your  reader  to   see  that  as  well.  Work  on  giving  a  more   focused  intro  sentence  and  a  tighter   paragraph.  

Price  4   mind and reroute you to where you really want to go without typing in the actual address. It would be extremely cool if a GPS could read minds, but that could result in a problem for some people. They could be thinking about somewhere they would like to go, but not necessarily want to show up at that specific place! Hopefully, the audience is extremely entertained throughout the reading of this short story. As mentioned above, the story will not represent a normal GPS because it will be able to talk and read minds. The rules are going to be somewhat bent. Therefore, the story is not going to be a true story. The advantage of presenting this new genre will help students become familiar with ways that they can actually get around if they are not good with directions. As expected, students who receive their license do not realize that they may not know the way to their local walmart. A GPS will seriously save them from getting lost (if they use it correctly). A disadvantage of this short story would be if a student is aware of a GPS and cannot afford one. That could be a bit of a challenge for the student to face. A GPS tends to be very high tech and expensive. It takes a lot of patience to learn how to work one. Another disadvantage with writing a short story is not knowing if it will really catch the readers attention. It is very likely for the audience to become bored with the story and not see the true point behind the short story, which is to teach people the importance of a GPS. Many people already own or know everything about a GPS. This would not help the outcome of the short story because no one would be interested in reading it. They would already know everything they needed to know about the GPS. In all honestly, this short story is going to really help some newly experienced drivers who get lost often. It is going to be a fun way of learning and that is what’s important. Whether or not a lot of people will gain knowledge from this story cannot be determined. What is known is that someone somewhere will gain something to his or her advantage after reading this story.
Jenna Price 12/6/11 2:00 PM Deleted: very easily Beth Caruso 11/14/11 8:21 PM Comment [13]: Rather  than  focusing  on   you  at  the  end  of  your  paper,  focus  on  the   main  idea  of  your  defense.   Beth Caruso 11/14/11 8:26 PM Comment [14]: Jenna,     You  have  a  great  short  story,  and  you   certainly  work  toward  presenting  your   ideas  well  in  your  defense  paper.  In  order  to   streamline  those  ideas,  I  would  suggest  that   you  work  to  take  out  any  unnecessary   information,  combine  sentences,  and  keep   your  paragraphs  focused.  This  will  help  you   convey  your  ideas  in  a  more  succinct   manner,  and  it  will  also  help  you  find   different  ways  to  incorporate  transitions.   Let  me  know  if  you’d  like  any  help  with  your   revisions.  I’m  looking  forward  to  seeing   what  you’ll  do  in  your  portfolio!     -­‐Ms.  C   Jenna Price 12/6/11 2:00 PM Deleted: their Jenna Price 12/6/11 2:01 PM Deleted: It was difficult deciding what the iPhone was going to be recreated into, but now it seems like everything has come together perfectly! Beth Caruso 11/14/11 8:21 PM Comment [12]: Informal   Jenna Price 12/6/11 1:55 PM
Deleted: really

Price  5